#btw these are free to use and if you want an icon with a different flag(s) feel free to dm or ask me!
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Gun Joe, Gun Kaiser, Disco Gun, King Gun
Punch-Out!!! Wii minor circuit, except guns.
#glass joe#von kaiser#disco kid#king hippo#punch out wii#punch out#minor circuit#the fart#shitpost#feel free to use these as icons/banners btw#I told y'all I'd make more#I did another Joe cause I thought the hand should better match his skin#The other 3 took an hour or so tops last night#I wanted them all to have different guns#but then just decided on circuit themes#anyways the background on disco kid was a pain in the ass#y'all won't believe how hard it is to find screen shots of these guys in title defense#if you see mistakes no you don't
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♡ Jujutsu Kaisen: Phantom Parade Guide! ♡
Hello, im fie !! 🩷 welcome to my guide on how to download the jujutsu kaisen mobile game.
♡---♡---♡---♡---♡
* I have an android phone btw, so that's what this guide is written for :) I don't know much about apple devices. initially, i was planning to figure it out for both types of devices, but i dont currently have an apple device i can use to test things on (im sorry apple users ;-;)
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-> Acquiring a VPN
Our first step is to download a vpn! Since phantom parade is currently exclusive to Japan, we need to use a vpn so we can gain access to the japanese google play store.
I personally always use expressvpn, but I understand not everyone is going to want to pay for a vpn, especially if this is all you're using it for. Fortunately, for what we are using a vpn for in this guide, a free one will work just fine :)
For the purpose of this guide I did a bit of research and found alot of people recommended ovpnspider for a free vpn. I downloaded and tested it myself and was able to get everything to work👍
Open up the google play store and download the app for ovpnspider or whichever vpn you've decided to use.
After it's downloaded, exit out of the play store and open up your new app.
Choose a location in japan and turn your vpn on
✅️ VPN acquired!
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-> Making a jp google play store account
Before we do anything else, open up your phone settings > apps > google play store > storage > clear data and cache.
Next, open the Google play store and let's make our jp account! You don't even have to sign out of your current account. Just click your account icon > then the drop down arrow > add new account > create a new account
✅️ 🎉 now we have a jp google play store account!!
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-> download the phantom parade app!
Make sure you switch over to your newly made jp account. After doing so you should find yourself in the jp google playstore.
Next, simply search up jujutsu kaisen phantom parade. Even though we are in the jp store you should still be able to type it in English and find it.
Once its finished downloading open up the app....
🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉 aaaaaand we're in 😎
Tap to start!! It will probably prompt you to check off the terms and conditions and then ask for you to type in a name you wish to use for your in game account.
Next, it will ask to download the rest of the game resources. (this might take awhile)
Tip for navigation: the red button is usually the ok/next/confirm/accept button
✅️ Game installed and ready to play! yay~
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And that's pretty much it!
Keep in mind whenever you want to play phantom parade you will need to turn your vpn on and have it set to a japanese location otherwise you won't be able to get into the game and will run into a communication error (picture below)
-> * Communication Error
The game can be really picky at times. If you're having issues and keep getting the error message try restarting your phone, reconnecting to your vpn, and then opening the app again. I found when using ovpnspider that sometimes choosing a different japanese location would fix it too.
Update: Turning notifications for phantom parade off also seems to lessen the frequency of error messages.
-> Translation overlay
Having difficulty navigating the menus or understanding what's going on? Consider downloading a translation overlay app!
Using this will allow you to translate all the text on the screen with the press of a single button. Unfortunately, the translation isn't very good, but it's decent enough to gain a basic understanding of things.
Clicking the little floating A icon will translate whatever is currently on your screen.
Alot of the character names dont translate properly. lol it often translates yuji itadori to yuhito kojo. Same for one of the new game original characters, the translation says Saki Ryudo, but her name is actually Saki Rindo. The translation is also often really inconsistent with writing last/ first name vs first/last name so they flip around alot lol.
The app i often use for this is called bubble translate and can be found in the google play store.
-> Free SSR ticket
Just a small note, but after you finish the tutorial for the game you will be gifted with a ticket for an SSR character of your choice. When you first use it, it will pull a random SSR character. If it's not the character you wanted, don't worry you will be given the option to re roll or accept. Just keep re rolling until it pulls the character you want.
The SSR characters that can be pulled are:
Satoru Gojo
Yuji Itadori
Megumi Fushiguro
Nobara Kugisaki
Panda
Toge Inumaki
Maki Zenin
Kento Nanami
Aoi Todo
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And that's everything! I hope you have fun with the game and good luck with your gacha pulls! I hope you all get your faves!!
I might make a more in depth guide on how to actually play the game detailing the gameplay and the different characters/abilities/events/ect. if enough ppl are interested (???)
If you have any questions feel free to send me a message via ask or dm and I'll do my best to respond. 🩷🩷🩷
♡---♡---♡---♡---♡
-> Extra
My friend convinced me to add the shitty rundown of the main menu I made for her to this guide💀 so here
customize home screen: pick who u want on the home screen/ change background/ ect.
Characters + equips: where you can look through all your characters and equips as well as upgrade them and setup your party.
Gallery: rewatch cutscenes from the main story, events, and extra unlocked scenes
Home: the screen we are currently on.
Gacha hell: gacha hell. (where u roll for new characters and equips. There are 2 forms of currency paid & free. Some banners can only be pulled on with paid)
Character profiles/ranks: everytime you upgrade, level up, use a character they get points. idk think of it like your friendship level with them maybe ?? You get rewards from getting characters ranks up.
Quests/missions: where you go to actually play the game. Main story, events, expeditions, ect
Event popup: shows the limited events currently taking place & how many days are left (in this picture theres 4 days left for the even displayed)
Mail: in game mail where the devs sometimes send us nice things
Tasks: ongoing tasks like dailies and stuff that you complete by playing and get rewards from
Footprints icon/ I didn't know what to label this but they are dudes that gather materials for you: ap, money, character and equips level up mats. They are always gathering stuff for you so even if you haven't played the game for a bit they'll have stuff for you.
Exchange shop: bunch of different shops to exchange materials/items/ect
More options: has settings/inventory/friend list/ user profile and more
Okay, done for real this time! Byeeee and thanks for reading my guide!! I hope it wasn't that bad and i was able to help :,)
#aaaaaa omg sorry this took so long for me to post it got deleted twice and i had to type it up from scratch like 3 times 💀#jjk#jujutsu kaisen#jjk phantom parade#phantom parade#jujutsu kaisen phantom parade#i hope everyone has fun with the game !!!!🩷🩷
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To be honest I can kinda see how having a hook instead of a hand prosthetic has its benefits
Hook is easier to mantain than a hand with lots of small moving pats, especially when you don't know shit about it. If something happens to it and it gets broken, it's much easier to replace a hook, even with all layers and poisons
And depending on when in time Crocodile lost his hand he may have just got used to it already
But also yeah, Crocodile is just the type of guy to choose a hook instead of a new hand because looks and aesthetics lol
(sorry for typos btw)
Crocodile's hook is kind of fun because it's a reflection of so many things in the story. Like there's the in-universe lore and character stuff we can look at, but also we can look at it from a meta perspective
Like we know Oda wanted to give certain important characters in the story the Iconic Pirate Traits; the peg leg for Zeff, the hook for Crocodile and an eyepatch he has seemingly been saving up all these years for a special someone (my money's on Mr Burns but that's a different subject). And so Crocodile having the iconic hook is a part of an old pirate-y "vision" Oda wanted to fulfill with One Piece, an OG "goal" from waaay back in the day
But another thing is that Crocodile is very much from The Olden Days of One Piece, more specifically, very much pre-what I'd call the sci-fi era of OP. I'd say One Piece started truly dwelling deeper into that genre and its tropes during Punk Hazard, but Oda didn't even really dip his toes into it until the CP9 Saga (with the introduction of Franky and the namedropping of Doctor Vegapunk). Sure, Oda did already hint at the existence of Vegapunk and his scientific developments back in Alabasta (when Miss Merry Christmas explained that Lassoo was a gun that had eaten a Dog Dog Fruit, this being "the Latest Science from the Grand Line"*), but One Piece was still very much in its more classical fantasy element/genre at this point in the story, so the science fiction that was to come years and decades later was not even present at this point
*(Thinking about it, honestly, how the fuck did Mr 4 get his hands on Lassoo if Lassoo was created by Vegapunk?? Was he a gift from Vegapunk/the WG to Crocodile, maybe????? That Crocodile just secretly gave away to Mr 4????)
In other words, in hindsight it might seem odd Crocodile wouldn't have taken advantage of his position as a Warlord and gotten a prosthetic arm to replace his hook. But Crocodile is a One Piece character from a different era in the story, when advanced prosthetics, cyborgs, robots, clones and so much more were nothing but a twinkle in Oda's eyes. So expecting Crocodile to have lived up to the sci-fi future One Piece wasn't originally going to even get to would be unreasonable.
But the fun thing is that we can actually look at Crocodile and his silly little hook, and spin it in a way that does actually complement his character. We can find in-universe reasons for him to have stuck to a hook over an advanced prosthetic, and they make sense.
The most obvious would of course be that Crocodile does not trust anyone. It would be very much unlike him to go to Vegapunk and/or the World Government requesting to be given a prosthetic, because that would mean
1) Leaving himself vulnerable for a period of time so that Vegapunk could actually give him a prosthetic (dangerous)
2) Knowing the WG they would not just give out something like that for free, surely they'd want something from Crocodile in exchange.
And, while we know what would become of Kuma eventually (a fate so cruel I'm sure even Crocodile could not have imagined) I'm sure he could have suspected the WG could want to use him for a science experiment or two, something I'm sure Crocodile would never have agreed to. Or maybe the WG/Vegapunk would've wanted Crocodile to pay them an obscene amount of money in exchange for a prosthetic, and/or have him do some other favors. Whatever the case, I'm sure none of these options would have seemed worth it in his mind.
And yeah, what you said.
Maintaining and taking care of a hook would be easier, like if Vegapunk's prosthetics ever broke or malfunctioned for any reason Crocodile would have to make a horrifically long hike all the way from Alabasta to Marijoa, cross the Red Line (to be fair his Shichibukai Status would allow him to go over which would be more convenient than passing through Fishman Island), go to Punk Hazard (or Egghead later on), and then hike aaall the way back to Alabasta again.
And Vegapunk's inventions didn't always work as intended, the man had to refine and develop his creations to get them to work the way he wanted them to.
So if the option get a prosthetic was ever brought up to Crocodile by the WG like 10+ years ago, he might've been far more cynical about Vegapunk's ability to actually create a decent prosthetic that worked and wouldn't malfunction/have issues etc. And as you suggested, by that time he probably would have become used to his hook, to the point that he didn't mind keeping it.
And yeah, it would be just a big ol' Luffyism if he preferred the giant, golden, gaudy-ass hook
#Moon posting#Asks#OP Meta#Sir Crocodile#To be fair as a sharp pointy thing the hook IS good for intimidating people.#Like the size of it is pretty inconsistent as is the height of Crocodile in the actual art but in theory#Like. The size of just the base of that hook is fucking massive (and indeed the base is great for pludgeoning people too)#It just. Like the hook just works for Crocodile (because it's Crocodile) and I love that. Like the writing is so good there
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So you are very ok with JK given everything by the company while Jimin is mistreated af ? You said JK AND JM. But what JM is getting ? Dust ?
Just like JK, you are being greedy only wanting him to the succeed while JM is always ignored by the company. But ofcourse JK is successful so you are ok with JM being his trophy husband, who works hard but with restricted success and won't go above JK, isn't it ?
I'm open to discussing the various ways in which one member's career could be hyped up more or invested into more by us or their company. I'm open to discussing all the ways in which their company could be abusing them or the ways in which they aren't being treated fairly.
What I would not do is hate on another member just because while secretly yearning for what he has for my bias. That's bad karma so you are on your own.
I can't and don't need to hate Jungkook in order to love Jimin.
I can't wish evil for Jungkook in order to wish well for Jimin. I'M NOT DERANGED NOR SLOW LIKE THAT.
They can both be successful artists, their individual successes don't take away from each other's.
They can both be great
They can both coexist as icons.
There's so much room and space for them to inhabit as they each speak to unique demographics. Different talents, different audiences.
I don't need to bring one down to lift one up. You are weird for that shit.
Also these are SOLO artists which presupposes they have separate deals and contractual rights and obligations with the company and I'm tired of explaining this over and over- get yourself some legal education will you.
They are both free to contract and if they are not happy with their contracts they can sue the company.
I'm okay with Hybe performing and fulfilling their obligations under their contract with Jungkook. If that contract stipulates they give all their resources to him then that's what they must do.
Jimin needs a better lawyer to negotiate a better deal for him then if the contract is not serving him because believe it or not hybe is not a charity and they don't operate outside the limits set by their contracts🙄
We know this because they refuse to get into matters that fall within the privacy clause of their artists and as Jimin said, even the food they give them comes straight out of the artist's pay.
We can talk about the different value they place on each member - which of course, they don't place the same value on the members equally. Some are valued more than others. But we been knew that. It's been that way since day one.
It's business though. Nothing personal. Companies do take risks on others more so than others because they look for different things in artists and have specific target markets in mind from the get go.
It's the reason Jungkook may not work well for Dior but Jimin does. They are unique brands and require unique artist's brand as well.
It's up to that artist and their fans to prove them right or wrong- which us and Jimin keep doing every single day. Let's focus on that. The more we sell out, the more numbers we have the better for his market value.
Jungkook is the GOLDEN MAKNAE. he has that going for him. You can't take that away from him. He's managed to capture a portion of the market that most music companies struggle to break through. He could well be the next Justin Beiber or the JB of Kpop but then again he is his own person and a unique phenomenon on his own just as BTS.
Don't underestimate his influence. Don't make that mistake.
He has all the qualities that makes A GLOBAL POP ARTIST and right now there is a gap in that market. I have several posts on this explaining this phenomenon please find any and read for further clarification on my other blog.
Btw, Jimin stans are mostly adults most of whom are lawyers and legal practitioners with the JDs and shit who understand the ins and outs of the entertainment industry. Get real and quit embarrassing us💀💀💀💀
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since i've spent the past few days essentially staring at nothing but natsuyuu volume covers i thought it'd be so fun and silly to try and redraw them all from memory tee hee. all 30 (thirty) (三十) of them!!! wheee!!!!
i haven't actually looked at them next to the originals yet so guess what time it is!!!! LET'S COMPARE
starting with volume 1. iconic. show stopping. masterpiece. the mona lisa of natsuyuu SURELY i reproduced every single detail perfectly such that it kickstarts my career as a forgery artist RIGHT
well feast ur eyes
(im using the english volumes for comparison btw they have a good clear view of the art)
CAN U TELL WHICH IS WHICH OOO THEYRE SO ALIKE BET U CANT!!! SPOT THE DIFFERENCE LEVEL 1000 WHICH ONE DO U SHOOT
all i remembered for this one was GREEN and it's not even the right shade of green ajgosugdjfkdgj i even made the fuckin. what do u call it. i'll just say yukata??? I MADE IT GREEN AND ITS SUPPOSED TO BE RED i stg if u held a gun to my head & asked if there was any red on vol 1 i'd be DEAD
but i remembered the book of friends is like. weirdly purple? ok well in this pic it looks p gray BUT ON OTHER COPIES...... IF U UP THE SATURATION GKSJKDNFKDG
why is nyanko sensei smack dab in the middle HUH i couldve sworn he was bottom left this is so fucked up and scary. haunted manga volume??????? i bought it from a grarage sale idk you guys-
at least natsume's pose is like kind of right but also that's most definitely a complete accident i can ASSURE u (im rereading this the next day and the pose isnt even CLOSE what are u TALKING ABOUT)
anyway can i just fucking point out the kanji on the book of friends bc that is from MEMORY YEEHAW here's what it's Supposed to look like: 友人帳
LIKE even tho i got the last one wrong ITS LIKE STILL PRETTY CLOSE??? i think i deserve 100 points for this objectively
MOVING ON THO....
OK NOT AS BAD AS I THOUGHT SURPRISINGLY im actually like. i thought i bombed this one completely but liKE THE COMPOSITION??? KIND OF ON POINT. KIND OF GENIUS TBH
i remembered Blue and Madara and like what else do u need rly. butterflies are optional in all scenarios imo
also i NEVER have any idea what natsume's wearing in any of these so i always just like default throw him into his school uniform LMAO u will see a pattern
why is the book of friends burgundy in this one btw. it was GRAY i mean purple definitely purple aha
ok volume 3 im actually scared for i know i fucked up SOMETHING
HGLKFKGLKFKGFN OK!!!!! OK NOT SUPER AWFUL!!!! just noticed i forgor to color the book of friends fukg
main thing i remembered abt this one was the color of natsume's... attire.... and which characters were present. whats sensei doing all the way up in the top corner tho 0/10
return of the school uniform lmaooooo hm. irrelevant who cares plus didnt ask. all things considered this wasn't as bad as i thought. THE NEXT ONE HOWEVER,
hsngjfgnfjn okayyyyyyyyyyyyyyy
sensei's way cuter in this one than i realized wait wtf this cover's cute af how did i never notice. underrated cover -10 @ me. look at his lil BLEP >:O!!!!!!!
i knew there was some fuckshit going on w the yukata in this one ourhg i was just like hehe greeennnn also sensei's there. my work here is done
what is natsume's pose even hgnkg i was straight up making shit up at this point LIKE the first 6 or so covers are SO hard for me to distinguish in my head i should get a free pass for the poses in all of them like i can do whatever i want IM the artist now
oh god whats next vol 5
OK!!!! like a straight 5/10 TBH i literally forgot i was planning on rating these LMAO
i remembered the like white v-neck shirt thing and his pose kind of??? i had NO idea what to do for the yukata tho i just made it orange and u know what?? close enough. my rule of thumb is just like pick a color and then throw flowers all over it u cant go wrong
taki looks so much more mysterious on the original and also wearing a skirt. i gave her a big stick bc i thought i remembered her having one in general but i think i made that up tbh wouldn't put it past me. got her hat right tho hee haw
cant believe i didn't get natsume's beautiful artwork tho look at that little shit sensei up there god hes so ROUMD literally moma material
PROBABLY my best one yet uhhhh but i maybe cheated JUST a little for this one ITS LIKE BARELY CHEATING STOP BOOING ME
as i was toying w the idea of doing this redraw thing i was still working on collecting my Images and Pictures so i kinda started taking note of a few small things here & there and one of them was just. the general gist of this cover SO LIKE that's why it's so good LOL
forgor the flowers tho. i literally forget everything that isn't a character like immediately BUT OK CUT ME SOME SLACK like after a point the covers start being whole ass scenes which are SO much easier to remember shit abt than the fuckin Green Void (p sure this is the last green void cover tho)
8/10 composition is gr8 but details like the shirt & the yellow flowers are wrong, also the stick is backwards. i literally looked up what that thing is called and forgot already tee hee
OK WE'RE NOT DONE W THE GREEN VOID I REPEAT-
fuck dude. fuck. i rly thought vol 6 was the last one LOL not to spoil but as i was grabbing these images i saw a Preview of what's to come and the green void lasts until fuckign volume TEN LOL collapses onto the ground and dies
so erhermrm this is vol 7 lolllll i remembered the bg flowers this time can u believe hahaha distracts u from the fact that LITERALLY everything else is wrong auhghg
u know what the green void turned into bushes and i think that's beautiful.... like points for creativity on my part tbh. like to be completely honest. 3/10 i got the characters right
YO????? GATE CONFIRMED LET'S GO?????? it's definitely the school gate but i choose to believe natsume & tanuma r in jail for crimes and u should too
actually this is shockingly accurate for how much i goddamn struggled w this one gkjsldkg the CHARACTERS are right the OUTFITS are right SENSEI'S THERE urgh i knew one of these covers had tanuma holding sensei like that but i couldn't remember Which
i can't believe i actually got tanuma's pose that close i rly thought i was bullshitting w that one wtf. +5 points instantly
do u like how i just scribbled sensei wherever lmaoooo i drew natsume & tanuma & went like. i think sensei's in this one. PLOP
6/10 honestly closer than i thought
OK........ I SEE........ literally dies
this one i was getting MASSIVELY confused w vol 4 bc i could remember nothing distinct abt either of them except Green and natsume w Big Doggie
i remembered the BARE essentials of the composition but not much else... since i thought the green void was gone i put the green i remembered into natsume's yukata (and then put him in the school uniform again LOL) and went WELP. GUESS I'LL DIE NOW
2/10 honestly one of the worst fucking ones lskdjflsdkg
OK THIS ONE.... i almost died irl trying to remember this shit, even before i started and i was still viewing the covers i was like there is no way in HELL im remembering this shit for vol 10. and i was right
like. Purple. White Mask. Antlers. WILD layered clothing. at first i drew the mask as an actual deer skull but later had a straight up epiphany and redrew it like that which... still not correct but I MEAN.... IT'S PRETTY GOOD
i cant believe most of the purple is the bg oughgh his clothes are WHITE..... this is fucked up. i DID remember the stick tho, bells and everything!! actually bells and nothing else!!!
7/10 ok it might seem high but CONSIDERING this design..... i think i did shockingly well TBH
NOT...... the worst...... one....... i could've sworn he was sitting on a pile of books this is so sad that woulda been so cute 😭
for a second when i saw the real cover again i thought he was sitting ON the bookshelf and i was about to RIOT but its okay it's a step stool. still physically possible
my version of natsume here is so much more like Proper gksld he looks like a school boy... studying in the academy's library... hardworking student.... but no the real one is just sitting there like a wet puppy orz he's not even READING i rly thought he was reading. this is such a huge L
cannot fucking believe i was right abt the window tho. like wrong shape but the fact that it's even there.... giving myself a whole ass point for that one
5/10 i rly thought i nailed this one gksgndfkj
also RIP TO THE GREEN VOID U WILL NOT BE MISSED o7
ah shit ok. well one of them was in the school uniform at least fjgugjdkf
why is my natsume lying there like hes abt to start a therapy session, boy would NEVER-
also the plushie hmnmhnmhngnf i dont KNOW i knew there was some kind of prop there but like gun to my head i woulda died again. main colors that stood out to me for this were green and that bluish purple so i got those into mine but i mean. well u can see
once again a random window in the bg i got correct let's gooooo 5/10
LMAO SPITS OUT MY DRINK WHOOPSIE!!!!!!
this is so fucking bad im choking im gurgling LOLLLL i was SO sure natsume's paper had an eye on it i was POSITIVE this is so fucked up. i mean obvs i picked that up from sensei but like i didn't even KNOW sensei was there. or that there were bg characters at all uuuuuououohghh (matoba ignored +5)
i was like. black yukata red flowers CHECK piece of paper w eye CHECK horns CHECK i even went back and edited the horns to be more accurate i was so proud of myself sobs
ok but i knew it was shit trasjh when those were the ONLY details i could remember bc obviously there was gonna be more going on I JUST DIDN'T REALIZE HOW MUCH MORE.....
straight up dookie/10 no jk fr like 3/10 @ me u need to use ur EYES
OK..... I WAS VERY CONFIDENT ABT THIS ONE..... except for his outfit i knew i was bullshitting that BUT I THOUGHT I NAILED THIS ONE....... the one fucking time i didn't just default to his uniform LMFAO
even remembered the pink flower ball smh and for WHAT. i knew he was sitting in a pile of plushies & blankets or smth but no way in HELL was i even gonna attempt to draw them with a speck of detail. but HEY the plushie i drew for vol 12!!! i knew he existed Somewhere. he doesn't even have a horn tho thats so fucked up i thought he did
obviously the most striking thing abt this cover is the bg w that deep burgundy & the circular window so that was the main thing i nailed down right away (my palette was more muted tho). also natsume sitting there w paper in his mouth but i thought he was mid return when rly hes playing like keep-the-balloon-off-the-floor or whatever the fuck he's doing. i love u natsume
(if i thought he was in the middle of returning a name WHY didn't i include the actual book of friends flksglkd automatic fake fan/10)
8/10 this was like my ace in the hole i was like if i got nothing else i got U volume 14!!! and then
NOT THE FAMILY PHOTO......... FUCKING DIES
man idk shit just end me. whats even going on in this cover im gonna deck u natori. dont ask why this makes me want to commit violence hes just so. URHGHGHnH
i dont know whats happening to me rn looking at this im losing my fucking grip dude who let this happen im gonna hurl this volume into the sun??? i think???
why did i add the other two youkai i just thought they should be included but i played myself i had to draw them from memory and for WHAT. pls tell me i got them at least a little bit right i stg
it's the crossed legts dude if he was just sitting there like a board the way i drew him id be like ah shit it was just natori sitting not natsume too but he just HAS to cross his legs and the fucing elbow propped up holding the glasses im S MAD IM SO MADdestroy him
it's 1am i gotta go. i have to go. right now my mom is calling me i have to fukcng. 4/10 i got the couch colorr right. bye
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tumglr...... only allows 30 pictures per post..... bc im not on desktop? or is that a site-wide thing now. in any case this is getting long so i think im gonna split it right down the middle into 2 posts so there u go, first 15 volumes. so far my score is ermmm
well i didn't rate the first few volumes.
vol 1: 6/10 decent
vol 2: 6/10 also decent
vol 3: 5/10 composition is Scramboled
vol 4: 2/10 it's SO BAD
so now my overall score is 74/150 fjggudjofjdkgjk doing gr8!!!!!!!!!
ok bye for real ✌️
#natsume yuujinchou#ny blogging#rieley doodles#retag later#this is me fighting my demons#why did i get so mad at natori at the end kgsndksjdfk#i say yukata a lot in this post but i think the piece of clothing im referring to might actually be haori in most of these cases#i think more ppl know what a yukata is than a haori tho so im just gonna leave it#(haori is the thing that u wear over the yukata. like a. cardigan)
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OC Evolution Tag
@morningglory-sims tagged me! Thank you!
2022 (without reshade, mind you)
Story-wise, the first pic would be that time where she still doesn't have full control of her abilities, hence the different eye color. So there ya go, if she's a normal person, that would be her eyes.
Same year but with Gshade (Sassy Frassy preset)
I call this the That Short Hair Era. This is so iconic to me that this particular hair will never be used on any of my sims LMAOOO
2023, with Reshade (I forgot the preset)
Still in the That Short Hair Era
Same year, but they live in Scotland, apparently (also the first time she grew her hair!), also the preset is what I'm using now
Their first marriage btw
Same year, but Priscilla had interesting taste in hair (which is another iconic hair that I'm not letting other sims to use)
Very iconic, if I could just have this hair IRL
Same year, but cut her hair short again
It's The Divorce Era (that time where the devil whispered to my ears and said, "bitch separate them now!!!!")
Same year, but her hair grew longer
It's The Ranch Life Era (where she's healing in Albert's ranch)
Same year, but her hair grew even longer
This is the time where she learned that she still loves Tony, and gave him another chance
2024
Her Remarriage Era!!!!!
Bonus, kiddie pic:
I drew those moles btw 😭😭😭
Tagging: @changingplumbob @kimmiessimmies @nocturnalazure @druidberries @buttertrait @igotsnothing @swallowprettybird @marcishaun @holocene-sims @damseljamsel (i miss you jam) @xpeachynotes @sharona-sims and anyone who sees this and wants to do it too! As always, feel free to ignore!
Tag me again, I dare you, and I'll show you Valentina Asvang's first design
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I just had an idea, would you be willing to make a picrew where it's possible to create the MC similar to the style of the other characters? ( just a suggestion btw feel free to ignore :3 )
I'm not an artist and I will not be making (or commissioning) a picrew. If I wanted to have a visual character creator in the game, it would already be there.
While this idea is a fun thought to daydream about, suggesting it in my inbox this way is very inconsiderate. Picrews aren't something you make quickly or easily. It takes months of work to account for all of the different details and options. Months to design and draw every layer and element, implement multiple skin tones, face shapes, nose shapes, eye shapes, hair styles and textures. Just because you can use a picrew to put together a character in 60 seconds doesn't mean that the tool itself didn't take a significant amount of time and effort to make.
If you want a portrait of your MC in the style of the other characters, I have very good news for you! @sunshinemage regularly takes commissions. Here is their commission info. If you want it, you can get it.
Which brings me to the main point - whether it was your intention or not, the way you have asked this is, frankly, audacious. "Will you make a picrew in the style of the game?" feels far too close to "I want art but I don't want to pay for it."
Please show independent artists some respect.
If you want to conceptualize your MC but can't afford a commission, there are hundreds of fantasy picrews available to play for free. Here are some that were compiled on the Wayfarer Discord:
TS Fantasy Icon Maker by triflingshadows
over the shoulder by ren whit
Murmur Chara Creator by wervty
Plant's OC Creator by Plantish Fellow
Potato-Lord's Persona Creator by Potato Lord
Fantasy Icon Maker by meimrr
[Ame] Pixel Fantasy Creator by ame
sushicore icon maker by alohasushicore
[Eir] Character Maker by eir
WIP!!! by eure
Androgynous picrew by oldmaker
makowka oc maker by makowka
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hellooo could you please share the pages of the most iconic vicious quotes? I didnt tab my book the first time i read it and i have no time for a re-read 😵💫
(you can just share the page numbers btw! I’ll figure out the quotes somehow lmao) thanks ❤️
oh absolutely i can. this is like the best ask i've ever gotten
quotes and page numbers are below the cut. i have the american paperback version with the red cover in case there are differences in page numbers between editions
also last note before the quotes, i'm so curious what you're using them for. so if you're doing something fun with them, i would LOVE to know what it is but no pressure
All Eli had to do was smile. All Victor had to do was lie. Both proved frighteningly effective. -pg 17-18
Victor was out. Victor was free. And Victor was coming for Eli-- just as he'd promised he would. -pg 26
Hate was too simple a word. He and Eli were bonded, by blood and death and science. -pg 90
The paper called Eli a hero. The word made Victor laugh. Not just because it was absurd, but because it posed a question. If Eli really was a hero, and Victor meant to stop him, did that make him the villain? He took a long sip of his drink, tipped his head back against the couch, and decided he could live with that. -pg 91
..."I'm trying to figure out how this"-- he held up a blood-stained, but uninjured hand-- "is a reflection of me. Why would He give me--"
"He?" asked Victor incredulously. He wasn't in the mood for God. Not this morning. "According to your thesis," he said, "an influx of adrenaline and a desire to survive gave you that talent. Not God. This isn't divinity, Eli. It's science and chance."
"Maybe to a point, but when I climbed into that water, I put myself in His hands--"
"No," snapped Victor. "You put yourself in mine." -pg 93
Victor Vale was not a fucking sidekick. -pg 96
"Would You take it back?" he asked the dark apartment. "If I were no longer of Your making, You would take this power back, wouldn't You?" Tears glistened in his eyes. "Wouldn't You?"..."You'd let me die."..."Wouldn't you?" -pg 216
"No, Sydney," he said. "I need you to stay here."
"Why?" she asked.
"Because you don't think I'm a bad person," he said. "And I don't want to prove you wrong." -pg 226
"There are no good men in this game," said Mitch. -pg 276
But these words people threw around-- humans, monsters, heroes, villains-- to Victor it was all just a matter of semantics. Someone could call themselves a hero and still walk around killing dozens. Someone else could be labeled a villain for trying to stop them. Plenty of humans were monstrous, and plenty of monsters knew how to play at being human. -pg 288-289
"I don't want to be forgotten."
..."Tell you what," said Victor. "You remember me, and I'll remember you, and that way we won't be forgotten."
"That's shit logic, Vic."
..."To never dying."
..."To being remembered."
..."Forever." -pg 296
"I watch you and it's like watching two people." -pg 352
The entirety of pg 353 including "It's why I let you stay," said Victor. "Why I liked you. All that charm outside, all that evil inside. There was a monster under there, long before you died."//
"You aren't some avenging angel, Eli," he said. "You're not blessed, or divine, or burdened. You're a science experiment." (AHHHH)//
"You don't understand," gasped Eli. "No one understands."
"When no one understands, that's usually a good sign that you're wrong.
"You can't kill me, Victor," said Eli. "You know that."
..."I know"..."But you'll have to indulge me. I've waited so long to try."
Victor smiled. He was having a fabulous time killing Eli. -pg 355
And last but not least, an honorary Vengeful quote because it's one of my faves and one of the best.
Victor stared at the wall as if it were still a window. "He doesn't know how patient you are," he said. "Doesn't know you like I do."
Eli cleaned the blood from his hand.
"No," he said softly. "No one ever has." -Vengeful, pg 318 (AHHHHHHHH)
hopefully that gets you started! I have so many things highlighted or tabbed or underlined so sometimes it's hard to choose. also the ellipsis (...) indicate where i omitted things for the sake of just including the important parts. otherwise some of those quotes would have been longggg
#this was so fun#ask#anon#vicious#vicious ve schwab#villains series#villains duology#victor vale#eli ever#evervale#fuckvictorvale
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Okay, let's talk about Germany
because seriously, wtf is happening to my country?
So, a few weeks ago Germany outlawed Hamas and Samidoun. And with that, our interior minister Nancy Faeser also explicitly outlawed the phrase "From the River to the Sea, Palestine will be free", with the reasoning that it's linked to Hamas / implies genocide against Jewish Israelis. You can now be fined or go to jail for using this phrase.
I was at a demonstration a few weeks ago that was an absolute nightmare. So, usually at the beginning, the rules for the demonstration (what is or isn't allowed to do/say) get layed out. At pro-Palestine demonstrations, there's always A LOT of police and they sometimes check protest signs in advance, too.
At this demonstation (which was organised by several Jewish organisations btw), one of the things we were chanting was "Stop the Genocide" - also a lot of other chants involving the word genocide in some way. At first, this was allowed. Then, halfway through the demonstration, the police suddenly decided that using the word "genocide" is forbidden now. Halfway through, after they were okay with it at first!
Then they arrested a Jewish Israeli woman (who they'd already wrongfully arrested once before) because her protest sign said "Stop the genocide in Gaza". Then they also arrested another person because their sign said "From the River to the Sea, we demand equality". THAT LITERALLY ISN'T EVEN THE PHRASE YOU BANNED! If you're going to ban FtRttS because it "could imply genocide against Jewish Israelis", then this changed version which makes explicitly clear what's actually meant should be fine! But nah, doesn't make a difference to them. If it starts with "From the River", you're gonna get arrested.
What shocks me the most is the arbitariness of it all. How can you just randomly decide in the middle of a demonstration, that something that was fine at first is now forbidden and then arrest people for it? I've been to demonstrations later where the word "genocide" was used again and it was fine. They literally just made up random reasons to arrest people. There's no logic behind any of it.
I've heard from other demonstrations in Germany that they apparently also arrested people for signs like "From the River we do see, nothing like equality" and "Bombing children is not self-defense" (what?). Also apparently they arrested one person for drawing the famous raised fist icon onto their poster because it "implies violence".
I don't want to live in this country anymore. What is going on? When has Germany become... this? I mean, I never thought we were super great, but I didn't think we were this.
And before anyone says that it's overcompensation for Holocaust guilt: That might play into it, but I don't think it's the real or only reason. Because the thing is, Germany didn't use to be like this. Israel-Palestine isn't exactly a new conflict and I remember that when I was younger, people from both sides were allowed to talk in talkshows etc. There's a clip on Youtube of a talkshow from 14 years ago where a CDU(!!! - big conservative/center-right party) politician talks about his trip to Palestine and the humiliations the Palestinians suffer every day and how no people would just let themselves be treated like this - nowadays you'll only hear something like this from the very left of the political spectrum and never on TV because anyone who speaks up for Palestine won't even get invited to the talkshow.
So like... what happened? Germany didn't USE to be like this. Why is EVERY party, even the Greens, suddenly talking like a copy of the AfD (extreme right-wing party, basically Nazis) and trying to paint Mulims as evil? And why are we at a point where anyone who speaks up for Palestine gets arrested and charged with "antisemitism" while actual Nazis are allowed to protest and get protected? We Germans are always so quick to call out other countries for lack of freedom of speech, so what is... THIS? WHEN DID THIS HAPPEN?
#Germany#Palestine#racism#Free palestine#free speech#I wanna move away for real#and I'm not joking when I say I'm seriously considering it right now#only where's left? seems like the whole world is moving right-wing#long post#current events#Holocaust mention
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May I ask, for the Betty Boop character free copyright, what versions of hers we can use? like if you don't mind be a little more specific for my dumbass self understands
Only if you don't mind ofc!
Wow, I never made a follow up clarifying the Betty Boop situation. So uh... the situation is complicated.
So like... to play things safe... Betty Boop actually *unambiguously* enters the public domain in 2 years. Which is to say the original version of Betty Boop as depicted in Dizzy Dishes will be free to use.
That said, I'm calling bull. There's dozens of variants of Betty Boop who don't look like the modern incarnation who have fallen into the public domain, and at times, it feels like there's more Betty Boop stuff in the domain than outside of it.
On top of that, the rights to Betty Boop are a complicated mess. From the wikipedia page:
Global Icons, btw, is the same company that also owns the rights to the images of serveral real life celebrities, including Marilyn Monroe and Elvis Presley... and like... that really sucks.
I'm not a legal expert by any means, but I think this all reads a bit familiar. Disney continues to claim ownership of Oswald the Lucky Rabbit, even though that's a lie. The same can be said for DC and any of the Fawcett Comic characters.
What I can tell you is that there's definitely a single recognizable variant of Betty Boop who has fallen into the public domain, with one rather extreme deviation from most other versions of the character.
Betty Boop was a redhead for exactly one cartoon, and nobody talks about that. Poor Cinderella is a solid Betty Boop short, and it's free for anybody to use. And this version of Betty, at least to me, reads as a different incarnation of Betty not commonly used in modern merchandise.
Use her. Call her Cindy or just remove the "Boop" from her name. Put her next to her unambiguously Public Domain friends Bimbo and Koko the Clown. Have her meet Steamboat Willie Mickey and Minnie. Put her into the spiritual successor to Epic Mickey that everybody wants but nobody seems to know how to make.
But allow me to back up for a second.
Right now, as we speak, big AI companies are scraping the art of millions of artists without pay. Original stories aren't being picked up by big networks... everybody wants big IP and indie projects aren't allowed a spotlight. And none of this is going to change anytime soon.
Now more than ever, we are morally obligated to steal art. Not just pirate it. Steal it. Bend it to our whims. Make our own version. Take advantage of parody law and fair use and produce our own frankensteinian creations.
In the future, copyright should belong to the artist, not a corporation. Showrunners who pitch cartoons should own the cartoons they produce; there's no reason Rebecca Sugar and Dana Terrace should be denied royalties for the cartoons they came up with. And in the event of an artists death, the copyright for a character should only by the artists estate for a short amount of time.
I'm sick of Disney. I'm sick of the Marvin Gaye Estate. I'm sick of Global Icons. If they're gonna take advantage of our hard work as artists, then we're morally obligated to take advantage of their IP.
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...okay, I have never seen a game handle mounts like FFXIV does in its free trial. Sometimes I’ve seen the situation where if you’re free to play, you get a mount, maybe a pick from two or three, but they’re not the greatest, and you have to pay if you want better. More usually it’s more along the lines of ‘no money no mount, have fun running everywhere.’ So that’s exactly what I expected here as well.
Then the main storyline quest went, "Here, have a free chocobo, the iconic mount of our franchise, also you get to name it, train it to help you in battle, and it gives you extra inventory space, and you don’t have to feed it daily or do anything to keep it working/alive!” And I went 8O thank-you! How neat, extremely generous of you!
And then I went to turn in more achievements and noticed, hey, you can buy a magitek mount with achievement certificates! And it has its own different soundtrack that plays when you use it, what a silly, fun mount, how generous of them to give me a choice of two! I even get to keep my chocobo if I get this one as well and pick which one I want to do!
Except then I completed the Conjurers’ Guild quest line (great story, btw, friendship with Silvairre never started, Sylphie is my bestie), and I get a quest that results in having a ding-donged unicorn mount as well as the other two?!? Holy frick!
And you know what? I absolutely deserve this, look at me,
I absolutely deserve the chance to ride around the forest gloriously side-saddle with my beautiful new friend, these boots were not made for walking, they were made for being admired while I wear them, which you can do perfectly from my perch here! <3
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Hey! It’s CureDeity (sorry tumblr makes me ask from my main). I am here, in your inbox today, to rattle my little empty coin can and ask you to list some of your favorite beyblade fanfics! I’m going around asking a lot of people this, so feel free to ignore it if you want, but I thought this might be a good way for people to shout out some of the fanfic they really enjoy! Btw, if you can, I thought it would be helpful to list which site this fic was on so others could find it easier if they wanted to.
Also, if you’ve written any fic (or have fic ideas, as we all know, imagining the same scene over and over again is the bread and butter of a writer), please also take this chance to have a massive, amazing ego and tell us which of your fics you're most proud of/is your favorite/etc.
Favorite MFB fics:
Boy was this not an easy question to answer. I’ve been in this fandom for a very long time, so I’ve read many MANY fanfics! In fact! The MFB fandom was my first fandom ever, it’s how I discovered fanfiction at age 13! Another funfact: many MANY fanfics I loved were deleted many years ago. So, I will go with what’s left!
Choosing my favorite fics was a toughie but I did my best to compile them in this answer! (I put links in all the titles, so you just click on them if you want to check them out!)
Life at the WBBA: Written by my lovely long time friend Liv aka Ollie! This fanfic is pretty much a lot of one-shots about the legendary bladers living at the WBBA, this fic eventually inspired my Adoption AU! So…If you want to see the OG, read this!
Almost Got 'Im: Also written by my beloved friend! Based on the iconic episode of Batman the Animated Series, the villains of the show reunite for a poker night while discussing how they almost beat Gingka. Spoilers: None of them did.
How to Make a Successful Match in Only Three Phases: This fanfic is something the lovely Liv actually wrote for me back in the day! As many of you know, I actually came up with the Yuki/Motti ship, and I’ll be honest, I thought I would get kicked out by the fandom. But instead Liv reached out to me and told me they had been inspired to write this thanks to one of my fics! This story is Benkei being a matchmaker, need I say more??
A Season Of Festivities: Now we go to another absolute legend! JuniperGentle aka Pippin! Their fanfics were always an absolute delight and this one is one of the most heartwarming ones! An anthology of MFB characters celebrating their winters holidays! Your fav character probably has a chapter, so give it a try!
Phosphorus: THIS FIC OMG! Okay, so, it’s still unfinished BUT GOSH IS IT GOOD! It’s an AU where Tithi is the one that follows Ryuuga around instead of Kenta!
Kenta's Imagination: This is one of the first fanfics in English I’ve ever read, and frankly, the concept of Kenta playing pretend is timeless!
Underappreciated: Ever since the old fanfic days, Madoka would get the short end of the stick thanks to weirdos writing hate fics about her like there was no tomorrow. HOWEVER, there were a few good writers that wrote nice fics featuring her. I think this is my favorite, it’s simple, adorable, and it explores her character nicely!
Yu and Kenta's Scavenger Hunt: Literally what the title suggests! The sillies in a scavenger hunt!
The Best Nickname: Hands down THE BEST old fanfic that explores Yu’s and Tsubasa’s friendship. Tsubasa ponders about why he is the only one Yu never gave a nickname to! But little did he know, he has one. Yu is just secretive about it.
What Makes Her Different: Okay, so this one is a bit personal. This was the very first fanfic in English I read by myself without google translator. I was still struggling learning the language, but I loved the few things I understood about this fic, so I would read it over and over until I managed to fully understand it! It’s an abandoned fanfic (the writer had an incident with their old computer and could never finish it). It’s about Madoka suddenly getting sick and her friends taking care of her because she always looks out for them. It might be incomplete but it’s sweet!
As I was writing this list, I realized that most of the fics I like from AO3 are already on your fanfic list, so I decided to not add them. I hope you like this little list of recommendations!
To answer you another question, it is very hard to choose because I love most of the fics I’ve written.
However…I think I would have to go with five fanfics:
The Backdoor: I cannot express how much fun I had writing this. I loved coming up with the bits of Beyblade history, including details from Zero G, and having Yuki and Motti go through this little adventure! I am also pretty sure this was one of the first fics I wrote after I got back into the MFB fandom after many years. Thanks to a silly series of events on Tumblr, I met a lot of wonderful people in the fandom that I’m glad to have in my life!
So a Few Villain Kids Walk Into a Youth Group and...:
Writing this was such a challenge, but I am so happy I managed to finish it! I been having a lot of headcannons about the cult of Nemesis for a long time and this fic is just the tip of the iceberg! I loved writing Johannes dealing with group therapy and having to face the fact that he has friends.
They Are My Boys:
When I wrote this fic I was a bit scared of sharing this AU with the world. But the fact that it was received so warmly just encouraged me to keep writing!
I'm Not Nice!:
So…Writing this one was a surprise even for me because I have a confession to make…I can’t stand Kyoya. But something about writing a fanfic with everyone dunking on him and his bad boy persona was so fun!
And finally…
The Drawbacks of Being Raised in an Isolated Temple:
So, writing this fic took me a lot of work because I had to talk to a lot of people about some questions I had to make this fic work, and the amazing support I got from those friends made me realize how much I love to write friendship and found family. I loved writing the friendships and dynamics in this fanfic and then the reception was so overwhelmingly positive, I was ecstatic!
There is another reason why this fic means a lot to me, it’s a bit personal but let’s just say that it brought something back to my life and I couldn’t be more thankful!
Thank you so much for this ask! I hope my answer was satisfying!
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How I Rig a Pixel Live2D Model!
You made it! you've Made and Exported your own model! (if not maybe go back to a tutorial?).
We can now start the looongg rigging process, i'm planing on this more being a show and tell type of tutorial,
as live2D is honestly just easier to understand if you can see what im talking about while i do it.
This is part 3 in a line of Tutorials on building your own pixelmodel!
Tutorials on Steam
How to build up your Pixel-Live2D-Model
How to Export a Pixel-Live2D-Model from Aseprite to Live2D Cubism
How to Rig a Live2D Pixel-Model
Tutorials on Newgrounds
How to build up your Pixel-Live2D-Model
How to Export a Pixel-Live2D-Model from Aseprite to Live2D Cubism
How to Rig a Live2D Pixel-Model <- You're here
okay This is the model we're gonna be working on!
(This is HaybleneVT btw, she's pretty cool)
(^ extra stuff, big icon for Vtube Studio + .ico file for desktop deco)
I use a lot of deformers to move around more then one object now, like on the pupils are a good place to place them all in the same deformer and then moving that.
X-Y-Z Head Params
This time i made something different for the front and back hair, i made a front hair and a back hair. but the front hair's outline is split into another layer. like this
this made a cool effect where when the front hair exits the outline of the back hair, then another backup outline reveals it self like in This video
The extra outline works pretty well even up at diagonals, remember to synthesize corners!
The Z axis is very simply just a rotation deformer on a deformer containing all of the head,
(remember that the back hair may be behind the body!)
The Eyes
Now on to the Eyes :>
this is how my eyes look
The Smug is placed Bellow the eye and is moved up one pixel when i want to make a smug expression, i normally set it to eye smile, but it can become messy, so if that happens to you too, then it could good to place it as an expression instead!
I move the Warp deformer of the Pupils around to make the X Y of the eye params.
The eyes frames switch between each other by using opacity and making them overlap into each other, this makes a pretty fluid eye movement,
though if can become messy looking if eye tracking is not set up correctly, when the eyes loose tracking in a program like vtube studio then, it can become ghost-yish[?].
i've set up this type of eyebrows this time
first and formost i set up all the X & Y was set up by moving the Deformers for Eyebrow L and R.
And this time i also made a Eyebrow Angle, the eyebrows snap, as if was on opacity then it would be very easy for it to look *ghosted*. you can use snapping by placing a keyframe on the two end ones,
but then deleting every other keyframe for it. this makes it snap when a keyframe Jumps to another now active one
Mouth Params
The Mouth Params are basicly the same as the eye brows are!
just remember that 1 = Smile 0.5 = in between 0 = frown.
The Body Params
The Body params is what i use to make the Legs and Arms work, when looking up the arms go in-ward to the body, the same is what i do with the legs
Ending off
Thats about it, now just make a texture atlas, and export everything.
Extra Resources
Live2D Docs
I dont have much more for you here! i hope your model turned out fantastic! if not then you can always try again! pratice makes perfect. you can check me out on Twitter and if you have any questions feel free to ask in the comments, or if you want to show me what you've made, then feel free to dm on Twitter! - Grat
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i just noticed your theme, it's so pretty!
i hope you don't mind me sharing any tips to make it a bit better? it's just my opinion and i apologise if i may have offended you along the way <3
firstly, your icon, i feel like it would be better if the focus was on your header altogether and right now your header is stretched, turn off that option and it would look pleasing!
secondly, your title is perfect but underneath that, the bio thingy to keep it a bit more professional (idk how to word this english aint my first language) where you say to DM for paid readings, keep it for your seperate post altogether.
thirdly, since you put everything, paid readings, celeb readings etc, for the pinned post, keep it short and concise with each topic leading to a different post. it would make it more organised. like for paid readings, link it to a separate post.
moving on it would be so handy for you to come up with your own tagging system, two different stuff one where you tag stuff needed to get more exposure, make your account grow like if it's a pac, pick a card or if it's bts tarot, like that and one where it's unique to you. if they are games tag it as ‘♡- neptune's inbox’ or ‘✩- neptune's feedback’.
btw the inspo pics, theme dividers are perfect so no need to worry about that!
if you're using headers, don't use big emojis. it looks a bit off?
i think that's about it! if you have any more suggestions or questions feel free to let me know!
Hello!!
Thank you for your suggestion so I changed my masterpost hihi 🤭 please tell me if the links work please!
As for the header I wanted to make it seem like the water is pouring in the mermaid’s shell.
I don’t know if it works though.
As for the tags I use « free tarot mini games » for the games and « neptune’s blog » whenever I talk about myself and stuff but yeah you’re right. I should try to make something more organized!
I also changed my bio ☺️🩵
Thank you anon!
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Art Advice #14 - Downloading and/or Creating brushes for digital art!
Hi all!
I got asked recently to give some advice on how to download brushes in digital art (since I mentioned it in my last digital art advice post) so, ask and ye shall receive lol!
Now, I’ll have to preface this by saying I only know how to download and create brushes for FireAlpaca (the program I use to draw), so things might be slightly different for other software.
(Btw thank you @hellsitevistor for your question, I hope this is somewhat helpful to you!)
Downloading and/or Creating brushes for digital art!
As mentioned at the beginning of this post, I only really know the specifics around FireAlpaca, so I’d say to look up specific tutorials or blogs for whatever program you use if you want more precise information, but if you just want a more general guide for downloading and/or creating brushes then stick around!
I actually downloaded the textured brushes I use about 5 years ago, so it was a struggle to remember exactly what I did lol
Downloading brushes
The place I’ve used for getting free brushes is DeviantArt. Something good about this site is because the comments can tell you if the brushes are any good & the creators often have answered faqs from people about how to download and add their brushes to the program.
(Also, I know that some artists create and sell their own brushes, so that is another place where you can get downloadable brushes (and you get to support independent creators which is always great lol!))
Now, I would say if you’re looking at brush packs made a few years ago, a lot of the download links no longer work. I’ve also found that there are certain file types that you can’t download with FireAlpaca (they only work with Photoshop) or probably other free programs, so it might be a little hard to actually find brush sets that you can actually download.
Once you’ve downloaded a brush set you particularly like, which is often a zip folder, you’ll have to extract the brushes into png files (make sure it’s a Transparent png though!)
(This is something that may have changed in the 5 years since I did it, so I am sorry I can’t be more specific about downloading brushes... I also have 0 clue on how this works for art Apps you get on ipads/tablets etc either...)
On FireAlpaca you click on the ‘Add Brush’ icon and select ‘Add Brush (bitmap)’ option. (you can see it below, although you can also find this option along the top bar and click on the ‘Brush’ dropdown menu!)
This will let you select the png image of the brush and will pop up the brush creation box! (Seen below) I won’t go into what all the options mean because a) I honestly know know what all these things do lol and b) I always think it’s better to just have a play around with them yourself!
Speaking of brush creation...
Creating your own brushes
One thing I discovered a few years ago is that you can actually make your own brushes pretty easily without having to download anything!
You can use the brushes you already have to create your own (often this can just be a collection of dots or random squiggles which can go on to create some really cool textured brushes!! As with the downloaded brushes, make sure you save whatever brush you create as a Transparent png, otherwise it won’t work!)
(below is an example of a recent one I did, which you can see in both Edit Brush images I’ve shared in this post!)
The brush creation box will give you various options on how to create various types of brushes.
The ‘Bitmap’ option will just give you the brush you’ve either downloaded or created as a repeated image, which can be good for interesting background textures! ‘Bitmap watercolour’ gives a similar, but more ‘brush-like’ effect (give you pressure opacity options)! The ‘Scatter’ effect is good for collections of dots for things like freckles or stars. The ‘Scatter watercolour’ one is by far my favourite, and usually what I use to create my textured brushes! (see below for where to find these options!)
Play around with the other adjustments until you find a perfect combination (remember that you can change this at any point when you’re using the brush, so don’t worry if you find you don’t like certain effects cos you can change them back!) and voila!
As always, I’m not an expert on digital art, and I’m basing this post purely on the program that I use so this may not be as useful to you if you use something else!
But I hope that this can be helpful to anyone who was confused by how to do this! And feel free to ask a question about anything regarding digital art/or art in general and I’ll see what I can do <3
#art advice#digital art#digital art tips#artist advice#brushes#digital art brushes#firealpaca#art advice for beginners#this is a pretty short post honestly (less than 1000 words shock horror!) mainly because i dont have a lot of info about this...#sorry this reply took a little while btw!#i was trying to find where i got my textured brushes from 5 yrs ago but either they've been deleted or i'm just dumb#but i can't find them at all... (plus i've changed laptops several times so i dont even have the original files anymore rip...)
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Simon x Billy
Year of the OTP: May
May Ch. 5: You look good. What happened?
May Prompt: Who Are You?
AN: I thought I’d already posted the May chapter?! Whoopsie. 🙊 Italy photos mine. Btw in case it was established too far back in the story for anybody but me to remember, the phrase ‘eye caterpillars’ = bushy eyebrows. 🐛 TW: Outdated references to hipsters. Use of bips. Irishisms. 2015. Picky eater. Fic rewrites. Utter lack of sex.
————/-/————
Masterlist || ao3 || Start: Jan || Prev: April || Next: June
————/-/————
May Chapter 5: You look good. What happened?
————/Billy/————
"You came!” I’ll admit I’m amazed to see Simon Lewis emerge from the depths of the Naples train station blinking at the full force of the Mediterranean sun. It was only just last night he decided to come back and here he appears before me less than 24 hours later. I pull the muppet in for some back-thumping. “What’d you do, y’madman? Drive straight to the airport?”
“Yeah, basically.” He’s grinning, and I can hear the giggle barely contained by his words. “Walked up and bought a ticket right there at the counter, just like in a movie. I am both a baller and a shot caller.”
Billy and the baller/shot-caller.
I can’t help but chortle. “Obviously.” Certo.
“It was iconic. Sexy. I am a sexy icon of bad-assery with balls and shots called. On two continents.” He holds up two fingers, unconsciously forming a symbol that could potentially be misconstrued in Italy. It definitely would be misconstrued back home. But no one’s paying us any mind.
“Look at your man now. Aren’t you just the sexiest Simon ever to have a bad ass.”
“I know, right?” He presents his fist. In a news announcer’s voice he announces, “We fist bump because we’re men, the moment calls for it, and the enthusiasm is infectious.”
“Em, Simon. I think you’re thinking out loud again.”
“Whatever. Don’t care. Too psyched to be here to berate myself for cringey habits.”
This fun Simon is a little different to the one I’ve been texting. He’s a bit more loquacious, this one. Less Hemingway and more, em, I dunno, Simon Lewis I suppose.
“And no more crying chibi Simon,” he declares, as if he needs to be very clear on this point. “I drowned him in the East River – purely figuratively, of course, but it does count. So he’s not along for the ride this time. He cannot steal my bad-ass thunder.”
I can’t help snorting, but before I can give him proper grief for his ass thunder, he stops me with his hand up. “No, no. Don’t bother. It’s true. I didn’t think that one through.”
Tossing his bags in the boot, I feel honor-bound to point out, “I never had you down as a murderer. Plot thickens.”
————/Simon/————
“So where to, mate?” Billy changes the subject to our more immediate, practical concerns.
“I don’t really care, as long as it’s not the hotel. I want to do something. Any thing will do, as long as we have to actively go do it.”
“Right,” he says.
“So where to, mate?” I ask in return.
“Sorrento. Nah-bip-bip-bip I’m not finished. The actual town of Sorrento — or at least the marina. That’s where dinner’ll be.”
“Aren’t you working?” I whip out my ol’ faithful suspicious-side-eye expression. Yeah it’s a predictable choice, but I’m suspicious, so I’m looking at him from the corner of my eye with suspicion. It’s how it’s done, how else am I supposed to do it?
“Nah, man. I took the night off. And anyway, pickin you up is a job all its own, innit,” he teases. He’s teasing.
“That’s all I am to you, a job, isn’t it.” I sniff back my hypothetical tears. “No, but seriously, thanks Billy. For the ride. And for taking the night off. Appreciate you, man.”
“Well, I figured you’re not likely to have a girl already. So it was safe to assume you’d be free for dinner. And I wanted to get you down to town. You can’t be eatin every meal at the hotel.”
“Don’t want to, anyway. I’m here to do it right this time,” I promise him.
Heaving a sigh of relief he says, “Thank Christ,” in the general skyward direction of God on high.
“Thanks, Billy.”
“Acourse, mate.”
“No really. Thanks, Billy.”
“For what?”
“For everything.”
————/-/————
“Oh look, he’s back. Where’d you go?” Billy asks me with amusement. He’s amused.
Eloquently, I inquire, “Huh?”
“You disappeared. You do that a lot, mate.”
“Don’t you need an amulet for that?”
“Funny.” Apparently it’s not.
“Y’know, if I could have worked hit points into the books, I totally would have. It just wasn’t the right tone.” I put on a dreamy voice. “Not all dreams come true, Lewis, not all.”
“What are you on about?”
“Books. I write,” I qualify, just to clear up any confusion.
He turns to look at me (taking far too long without his eyes on the road in my opinion). What, is he trying to decide if I look authorly? “That's great, man,” he says. “Where’d you post them?”
“Post them?” Um. “Oh, you mean putting the chapters up online?”
Billy nods. I’m forced to assume I don’t look authorly.
“What kind of stories do you write?” he asks as he skirts a delivery truck driving in reverse down the middle of the road. I decide that it’s best to pretend it’s not actually happening and stare at the view instead.
“Paranormal Urban Fantasy. Never Suburban Fantasy, though, just so you know,” I offer. “I leave that to the experts. Write what you know, you know?”
He chuckles. One of those real ones, despite my not even remotely deserving it. “Cool man,” he says. “Send me a link.”
“Um, ok.” I mean, he could just google me, but whatever.
————/-/————
“All right, mate?” he asks.
“Yeah! Of course!” I say brightly (maybe a little too brightly). I look around me at the bustling noon hour in the center of Sorrento with only the tiniest hint of hesitation. Because, really, it’s just the tiniest hint of a town. He doesn’t notice my case of nerves, thank God. I could not be more embarrassing.
Sorrento; Marina Grande is at bottom right
“All right, then,” he says with a nod, followed by an arching eye caterpillar. “But hear this, Simon. If you get gelato before I get back, that’s it man, we’re not friends.”
“Wow. That’s a little extreme, Billy. On the upside, does that mean we’re BFFs forever if I wait for you?”
“That’s redundant,” he points out.
“What?!” I fix the pointy fucker with my very best shocked-and-offended face, and clutch my figurative pearls. “I am not redundant and I never will be. How dare you.” (The groaning you’re emitting from your throat is ok with me. Really.)
“Ah, go on man, that’s two forevers. It’s excessive, innit. Are yeh really expectin me to serve two consecutive life sentences of best-best friend-friend?”
“Yeah, ok. I’m good with that. We’ll be BFFs forever twice. Like Outkast – forever-ever.” I’m sorry Ms. Jackson, I am for reals.
“I give up,” he says, rolling his eyes. Which offends me. Because I’m the eye-roller. He’s the head-shaker. And he’s stealing my gig.
“So that means I can go ahead and get gelato without you? I mean, you said you give up.”
“Fucksake, Simon, but you’re a pain in my arse.”
“You love it,” I grin at him. “What’s gelato?”
“Fucksake, Simon!” He repeats (redundantly!) and commences the head shaking.
“And how do I find it?” I continue, undaunted.
“All right, look,” he sighs. “The tourist shops are up thatta way. Walk round, buy some shit. Then be back here by half twelve, and wait for me gettin off the bus.”
“Bus? I thought you were parking the car.”
He looks as though he’d like to strangle me.
“No, seriously,” I assure him. “I thought you were just parking the car.” I shoot him a combo of the I’m-about-to-get-in-trouble puppy face, and the but-you-love-me-anyway puppy face. It’s all in the eyes. Make ‘em huge and glisten. Works on Ma every time.
But not on Billy, it turns out. Tough crowd. Instead, he just laughs and laughs. Which is actually quite a thing to behold. And whoa, he’s just walked over and I’m being wrapped up in an actual hug. Like, a real one. Right now.
“I’m glad you’re here, mate,” he says warmly. “It’s good to see yeh.”
I don’t remember the last time somebody really hugged me. Apart from Ma, obviously. Certo. I kinda want another one. But he’s back in the car and pulling the old Mercedes out into traffic.
OK, so…
I’ve got some alone time on my hands. I clap, all ready to go, but then I notice how weird I am and shove my hands in my pockets.
So I hang out on a park bench a bit and watch Billy get stuck in a traffic jam — while the drivers of two cars stop in the center of their respective lanes, for the express purpose of double kissing each others’ cheeks in greeting. I’ve just decided that I need to start an “Only In Italy” list. Which means I need a pad of paper and pencil. Don’t judge my medieval writing implements of choice.
————/-/————
The pencil and paper-finding mission takes over an hour, because I keep asking people for “llaves.” Which, it turns out, means keys. In Spanish. Dios mio, I suck at Italian.
I mean, can you blame me? I never bothered learning more, cuz I didn’t plan to come back anytime soon. Cuz, you know, painful. But then I realized I actually missed Italy. In all senses of the word, but most especially in the wistful, nostalgic sense of the word. And I guess that’s a pretty normal reaction when it comes to people thinking about their trips to Italy.
Plus, I actually know someone who lives here.
————/-/————
Ok, so I’m back where I’m supposed to wait for Billy.
I had hoped for an I heart Italy pen, but apparently that’s only a thing in the US. Here, it turns out they have taste.
And I still don’t know what gelato is. But at least now I do know how beautiful this town is. And how great the Italian people are. At trying not to laugh at you to spare your feelings.
While the entire city looks like burnished yellow gold when seen from a distance, up close there’s more variety. Like the chaotic good mix of blaringly bright tiled roofs. I’ve taken pictures of everything so I can practice my wistfully-nostalgic face again at a future date.
Chaotic good, no?
I’ve chosen a pretty cool spot for people-watching. Everywhere I look, life is happening there. Big, boisterous aliveness. It’s so weird. And also instantaneously addictive.
Ok, so:
Only In Italy
The sky turns lavender. I remember that from last time.
People park their cars at home and take a bus. (Ok, I suppose bridge and tunnel people do that, too. But the vibe is so much more ‘tiny Italian village’ here than in Brooklyn.)
There is only one road. The bus drives back and forth on the one road. For the entirety of this coastline, to get to any of the towns. No, seriously. I don’t think I’m adequately expressing this concept. (And my writer ego is taking a hit because of it.) From Naples (huge industrial port city) directly to Salerno (the next huge industrial port city wayyyyy down the coast), there is a big highway. But that highway doesn’t do shit for you if you want to see any of the seaside towns in-between. For every last one of the tiny towns lining the Bay of Naples, then down and around the whole Sorrentine Peninsula, and aaaall the way to the end of the Amalfi coastline, there is one road. One. Which means that anyone living in the town of, say, Sorrento, has one road – one road!!! – to get the fuck out of town. You either turn right, or you turn left. Your only way in, your only way out. That is nuts. Right? That’s nuts!
Locals have no problem with interrupting all traffic on that one road, by stopping their cars in the middle of their lane and getting out, just to double air kiss the oncoming driver who is now holding up traffic in the opposite direction. And no one (no one!!!) is offended by this. No one seems to realize they have a horn they can honk at precisely these moments. I am mentally horn-honking so hard rn.
Lines painted on the road are purely suggestions. Especially when there are cars idling in the middle of the road for cheek kissing purposes.
I don’t even know what to say about delivery trucks driving in reverse on the one road.
————/-/————
I look up from my Only In Italy list, startled by the squeal of the wheels on the bus trying to stop going round and round. And now I’m watching the bus disgorge a few tourists, a bunch of locals, and an Irishman.
You know, we really are an unlikely pair to form a friendship under unlikely circumstances. But I think I actually needed Billy in a way. I can be a pretty miopic guy, and Billy managed to pull me out of my tunnel vision, preoccupations, and woe-is-me’ing. And he’s done it more than once over the course of our acquaintance. All via text, which I find quite impressive. That is some potent friending.
I need to figure out how to thank him for that without making it weird. Cuz, I mean, things got pretty weird over the last several months, but neither of us is acting uncomfortable or hesitant now. He’s too laid back for that. There is one thing I can say without reservation: Billy Delaney is a good human being. A mensch, in other words.
I think I needed him in order to get over myself, and that is a bizarre thought.
“Look at the state of yeh. Writin away with your nose buried in a book, right where I left yeh. When you should be lookin about. Unbelievable you are, man.”
“My nose — which cannot write, by the way — is buried in a book precisely because I’ve been looking around. I’ve started an Only In Italy list. Submissions welcome.”
That earns me a Billy snort. Among the best snorts out there, actually, is a snort from Billy. How can he be so smooth yet still be such a dork? A dork who got lucky and grew into his – I surreptitiously look him up and down — well, his everything. Bastard.
And that’s not even why everybody loves him! He’s just a fuckin cool dude. Who likes people. And the whole Irish thing doesn’t hurt.
“So where to, man, where to?” he asks with a wide smile, interrupting my thoughts.
“I dunno. You’re the Italian. Let’s do Italian stuff. Like maybe get an overly caffeinated coffee beverage.”
“I am an Irishman, and you could be a tourist if you ever figure out how. You tourist first, and write about it after. Not during. How can you be so self-aware and so clueless?” Billy asks.
My breath catches in my heart. He thinks I’m self-aware?
“You think I’m self-aware?” I can tell I’ve got glistening eyes and they did it all on their own without prompting by my brain. I’d feel like king of the world if I was in Bushwick right now, and everyone within earshot heard him tell me I’m self-aware. And he doesn’t even know what kind of cred he’s just awarded me. “Thanks,” I hiccup.
“Why’re yeh lookin at me with love heart eyes? I just insulted you,” he asserts.
“Did you?”
“Called you clueless, didn’t I.”
Big, breathy sigh. “Didn’t notice. Don’t care. Can I hold your hand right now? We can go have a nice, romantic stroll thru the Italians. You can show me this gelato I’ve heard so much about.” I flutter my eyelashes, and take his hand in both of mine.
“Get off, you muppet,” he laughs, as he tries to extract his hand from my strong and persistent hand-holding.
Not sure if I’ve mentioned it, but a laughing Billy Delaney is something to see. His whole face splits into the widest grin and it lingers long after the laughing’s stopped.
“Oh my god, they are so hot together.” It’s a young woman’s voice coming from somewhere close by. “Oh my god, look at them.”
We both must share a brain because we both swivel to see who the hot people are. I mean, it’s the Medi/Tyrrhenian. It’s an innately sexy place, and people are just kinda generally super-hot here, and remarkably comfortable with being almost uncomfortably sexy.
“So unfair,” moans her friend. I agree completely.
Not finding the hotness they’re referring to, Billy and I both discreetly turn toward the shops to see who’s talking.
“Do you think we can turn them?” another female voice asks. They both dissolve into giggles.
I’m not spotting them. “Can you tell who-”
Billy says under his breath, “By the lemons.”
Guest starring: Two fangirls and lemons the size of your head.
As he and I both lock eyes with the girls, they spin into each other and start giggling as they stare at their phones comparing their stolen shots.
Billy’s caterpillars try to meet in the middle. “Aren’t they a little young to be lookin at us like-” he begins.
“Oh my god!” I stand bolt upright. “That’s where the gelato comes from!!! Billy. Billy, can we please, Billy? I will embarrass you if you don’t stand up immediately and show me which thing I should be pointing at when I ask for it.”
“How do you plan to embarrass me? What, you’ll start jumping up and down while clapping?” he challenges me.
In all seriousness I turn to him. “I’ve done it before. I’ll do it again.” I give him an arched caterpillar of my own, attempting intimidation-and-impending-threat face.
The two girls are squealing to each other, hiding behind their hair.
“To the gelato man!” I point boldly and decisively. “Let’s do this.”
Billy’s caterpillars are trying for a second kiss, as he rises slowly. He’s distracted.
“Why are you not running at the gelato man with me?” I hold my hand out to him. His caterpillars have graduated to blatant frowning at the girls after another particularly sonic squeal.
“Come on, Billy. That’s got to be too young for you,” I tease. “I hope.”
“How could you even suggest-” Ladies and gents, I give you horrified-face, Billy Delaney style. I give him a playful push to reassure him I’m just teasing, and that snaps him out of whatever bizarro universe he was temporarily trapped in.
His eyes snap up to see me laughing at his surprised, blinking eyes. “Come on, sweetheart, buy me a gelato. Honey, you promised.”
Head shaking follows, of course. Certo. As we approach the stall, he keeps sneaking glances between the girls and me. “What the fuck, Simon?” he whispers, while surreptitiously watching them over my shoulder.
We’ve reached the gelato man. Billy offers to order. “What kind?”
“The biggest kind,” I shrug. He snorts and turns to the gelato man. I decide to put the girls out of their misery while Billy is focused on purchasing whatever it is.
“Oh my god, it’s him! It’s really him!” one of the girls hisses, then they look away quickly as their cheeks turn strawberry in mortification.
“Excuse me, um, sir?” the blonde girl squeaks, while progressing from strawberry straight to raspberry. It’s always endearing. I can’t help it. I know what it is to belong to a fandom. Like, being the fan, so I get it.
“Hi,” I approach, and awkwardly raise my hand in greeting.
“It’s really you,” the brunette whispers.
“I can be only one. Y’know, cuz, like, Highlander? No? Ok. Well, hi. I’m-”
“Simon is Simon,” whispers the brunette.
“The one, and the same. Both of us.” I am so embarrassing right now. But they are equally horrified at themselves. So, its a party.
“Can we have a picture?” They turn their pleading puppy eyes on me.
I have to admit, “Your puppy eye game is strong, girls. Practice, grasshoppers. Keep at it, and one day maybe you’ll be pro level like me.” This gets them giggling again. But they’re relaxing the adrenaline a bit.
By the time Billy returns with his booty, the three of us are comparing which of the puppy eye shots should go on Instagram first. I’ve already made my preferences for #2 known, and I’m ready to disengage.
I look up. “It’s ice cream?” I stand and give the girls hugs again.
“Thanks, Simon! We love you so much,” they sigh. Then, looking down at their phones they charge into the street, nearly walking right into an old lady carrying a salami so long that it’s an obscene parody of itself.
“Tag me!” I shout after them.
Mental note: “Only in Italy #7. Old Lady with huge salami that she didn’t buy at Katz’s.” Instead, she’s clearly coming from a shop with “Salumeria” over the door. A frickin salami store. I love this place and never want to leave.
“The deli?” Billy asks, shocking the shit out of me.
“How do you know about Katz’s?! Send a salami to your boy in the army? I’ll have what she’s having?”
“You talk in your sleep, mate,” he replies, straightfaced.
“But- I mean. Cuz like, we’ve never-” I stutter. Great. I’m stuttering.
He’s laughing at me. Which I’m ok with.
“Ow!” he barks, after I slap him in the arm. “Is this how you treat all your dates? Just shush.”
My mouth snaps shut. I am just as surprised about it as he is.
“On your first night in Italy – now don’t interrupt, your last trip never happened – I am honored to introduce you to, nay, expose you to the most Only In Italy thing for your list. The ‘passeggiata.’”
“The what now? Passage otta?”
“Close enough. La passeggiata happens every single night, tourist season or not. Big city or tiny village. Before dinner, everyone en masse decides to go for a walk in town. A lazy, amblin sort of people-watchin activity. Everywhere, the whole country. Late afternoon before dusk you stop and buy a gelato and eat it slowly while the world walks by.
“Passage otta,” I like the sound of that. In Manhattan we call that Times Square at 5pm. But without neon green milk-based product melting down your fingers. But then again, in Times Square you never know. “What the hell neon green thing did you buy me?”
“The biggest one,” he answers, passing it over with a bunch of napkins.
“Why is it the color of Mike Wazowski?” I demand in horror.
“Who?”
“Mike Wazowski! Mike Wazowski! Mike Wazowski. A triple Mike Wazowski: Bucket list, check.”
“Simon.”
“Mike Wazowski. But more importantly, why is it neon green? Doesn’t that mean it’s poisonous? Neon green is nature’s helpful way of warning us about impending doom. Like, did you know one tree frog contains enough poison to kill ten men?” Thanks, BBC. “So where do we go?” I ask.
“Let’s sit a spell over there. Ideal spot, really. Great view down the cliff to the Marina Grande on that side, and the high street shops over here.”
“The tiny tiny baby automobiles are sooooooo cute.”
“I’m partial to the Vespas,” he asserts.
“I want a tiny adorable Vespa so hard right now. Can we get a Vespa, Billy, please?” I plead. “But no, really. What’s with the green ice cream?”
“Simon. It is not ice cream. Say that within range of an Italian and you’re looking at prison I won’t know how to rescue you from.” He points at the cup. “Pistachio. One of the most iconic flavors. And a favorite of mine. Which means that if you hate it, which you won’t do, but if you do, this is a flavor I like enough to eat ‘the biggest one.’”
“How thoughtful of you.”
“I’m a very thoughtful person,” he promises with a sly smirk, which I assume people find sexy. Cuz it kinda is.
I elbow him in the ribs and he giggles. Billy giggles? This is new information. It’s kinda musical, like an arpeggio up the scale. Now I’ve got do-re-mi-fa-so stuck in my head from Sound of Music. Gross.
But I like this, sitting here watching the passage of people as they make their nightly parade. This is why people live here. It’s that big, boisterous aliveness I was thinking about earlier.
“Only in Italy #8: People take walks, not for exercise or the subway.”
Billy Delaney sighs. It’s true. He just did. Then guess what he says next. “Fucksake this is romantic.”
“I know, right?” What, it is.
“First time out of the United States?” he asks.
“What’s that supposed to mean?” I feel like maybe I need to be offended.
“It just seems like, you know,” and he waives his hand at me as if that’s all the explanation necessary.
“I’ve been to other countries.”
“Oh yeah? Did it require leaving the North American continent?”
“Shut up. And stop laughing, you asshole,” I grouch at him, because I have been overseas — just not alone, is all. “But you know what you can talk about? How awesome and totally not ice cream this stuff is. It’s so creeeeeamy, and so light, and fresh, and not heavy at all, but still creeeeeeamy. And the Mike Wazowki flavor is really intense.”
“See? What’d I tell yeh?”
“Not much at all, actually,” I observe. He rewards me with the bark of a laugh.
After a few minutes watching la passeggiata in companionable silence, Billy prompts, “One thing I’ve been meaning to ask yeh. You talk a lot about writing. What’s that about?”
“I just love it. Never gets old. Hope it never does. But I can’t really see myself writing more than five or maybe six, tops. Tops,” I assure him.
“Five or six what?”
“Books.” Are we participating in the same conversation? “I’m late with the fourth because the fans want one featuring way more Simon Lewis with way more love story. And that can only be the case because the author, Simon Lewis, wrote himself into the story in the first place. There’s a hashtag for it #SimonIsSimon.” I heave a sigh as if the pressures of the world are far too much for little ol’ me to handle. Actually, “They get really into the whole #SimonIsSimon thing. People get tattoos! I’ve seen it online! Insane.”
“Simon is Simon,” he pauses. “Isn’t that a band?”
I shrug. “Could be. I guess.” I should look that up.
“So,” I continue, even though I’m already sick of the sound of my own voice. (I secretly fear that I might actually be kinda boring.) “Other Simon is this fictitious shoegazing hipster vampire, who lives in a book. Me Simon, is the author. It helps that we are a lovable dork,” I gesture at all of me to prove my point. “And in a love triangle. Dude. I even have my own #teamsimon. Which is super cute. It is also super weird, being a fan favorite.” Especially at the cons.
Billy sits forward. “Hang on, hold up. There’s a fan favourite?”
“Several fan favorites. All the main characters have their Big Moments in the series. Now I have to just suck it up and come up with the right romantic destiny for Other Simon. Cuz right now, there are two girls crushing on him. It just took until book 4 before I’m finally willing to let that happen.”
“Is this online somewhere? Like a blog or something?”
My first instinct is that he must be ‘taking my piss,’ or something gross like that, so I shoot him a glare. But now he looks so earnest that I feel like maybe we really aren’t in the same conversation.
I can feel my glare turning confused. My mother says this expression makes me look like I’m sucking lemons and don’t know why. She calls it Confused Sourpuss. I have yet to come up with a polite, respectful way to say, “Shut up, Ma.”
“Online? Well, yeah. I mean- There’s the fan wiki. But honestly, I’d just recommend starting with the blurbs on my website if you want to decide if it’s worth your time.”
Apparently Confused Sourpuss is not conducive to conversation. He stretches, and stands, then bumps my shoulder. “Come on, mate, let’s get outta here. Day’s marchin on, and you haven’t been down to the marina, yet. La passeggiata happens down there, too.”
————/-/————
No. I’m not afraid of heights. No, really. I’m not!
It’s more like I’m afraid of stairs. Especially stairs like these.
The Hell Stairs. Simon is overreacting.
Billy’s way ahead of me, because of course he is. Just trotting down them, every switchback. Meanwhile, I’m pretending I’m actually trotting when really I’m clinging to medieval stone walls rising vertically like the face of a cliff.
Sure, there are handrails. To keep you alive and all, but just like, one continuous wobbly pipe to hold onto all the way down. And there are at least 100 switchbacks. At least.
I guess it’s a tourist thing. “You have to take the stairs - at least do it once,” he said. “And it’s the fastest route down to the marina.”
He said “marina,” and I pictured lazily strolling around, some restaurants, some shops, stop a couple times for too much caffeine. “Good sunset, too,” he promised. So I was all up for it, and now I’m breathing rapidly and sweating – for anxiety reasons, not physical exertion reasons.
It gets chillier the farther we descend.
This could actually be a really frickin cool setting for a scene with the vamps. Why climb the stairs when you can scale the old medieval walls, am I right?
Billy’s voice hits me, and I swear I almost jump out of my skin and die. And have an asthma attack. (Fuck Other Simon for not having asthma. Bastard.)
I have no idea what he’s just said, because the sound of his voice is bouncing unintelligibly off the walls.
Attempting not to be a Loud American is a major fail, because I’m shouting, “Buongiorno!” and, “Arrivaderci!” so I can listen to the echo ricochet. And it’s awesome how the faint sound of passing cars way below lends a sort of staticky background noise as it travels up the height.
Billy stops laughing at me and tries to muster the balls to shout. Irishmen. Feh. Sometimes it’s useful to be an American. Especially when absolute dickheadery is necessary. Good thing I’m here.
“Just shout something, already! We can pretend you’re American, if that makes you feel any better!” I shout down to him.
All I get is a thousand rebounding “What???”s in return.
When we finally get down to sea level and emerge from the Hell Stairs, we find our way over to the Marina Grande. I want to kiss the ground now that I’m back on it, but determine that it might cause some concern amongst passersby.
Billy looks grimly at me. “You, my friend, must prepare for some of the best seafood of your life. An orgasm on your tongue.”
Um, “Hey now. That’s a little too visual, thanks.”
“Just don’t go makin yourself sick with too much cappuccino.” He scratches at the five o’clock shadow on his chin, looking thoughtful. “Will it deter you if I threaten to get really mad at you if you ruin your appetite? Or are you more likely to get too much cappuccino just to spite me?”
I gasp. “You get me, Billy. You totally get me.” I wipe away my imaginary tears. “It’s so nice when someone totally understands me and everything about me. Come on, buddy. Bring it in,” I say with my arms outstretched for a hug.
He unceremoniously declines.
————/-/————
Billy knocks back the last of his cappuccino. I’m still only two sips into mine.
I feel like I might hate biscotti. They seem like a thing I would hate. Mine’s just staring at me from its plate, looking all rock-like, with pebbles of almonds and whatever greenish nuts get put in biscotti. Are you supposed to suck on them til they finally soften? Dunk ‘em? No thanks. I push them across the table at him.
“So what’s it like, trying to be an author?” he asks.
I’m kinda amazed that he’s remotely interested. But he still doesn’t seem to get it. “Um, I am.”
“You ‘am’ what?” he asks.
“An author. Like, a published one.” His caterpillars arch upward in a rather gratifying fashion. Even if that makes me an asshole, I’m still an asshole who just wants people to be impressed with how awesome I am at all times. Just because I’m not 15 anymore doesn’t mean I’m not 15 on the inside. Especially as I get older, but Other Simon stays the same age.
“What’s that like?”
“Um…” Now I kinda feel like I’d be dishonest if I let him continue to think in the wrong scale. “Ok, so I’m just going to level with you. I don’t want to give you the wrong idea.”
“Nah, man, don’t worry about it. I’m sure you’re really good.” He’s looking at me with fondness and with pity. That’s a pretty advanced level facial expression. And it’s infuriating.
“Billy? Don’t try to be nice, just shoosh.” Am I a terrible person for enjoying watching his trap swing shut?
“I am the author of three novels so far, in an open-ended supernatural urban fantasy series.”
“Hang on, hold up. How old are you?! You can’t be old enough to have written three whole novels.”
“Started writing the first one when I was 15.”
“Oh, right? That’s great man, really ambitious for a kid to have a big dream like that. And you’re still at it?”
“Billy, I swear to God. If you don’t stop prematurely trying to make me feel better I’m going to kick you in the shin. So yeah. Three books. That have been published. In roughly 30 languages.” I’m not really a fame whore, but I have to admit to enjoying watching his eyes bulge, his mouth purse, and his face turn pink. Now it has turned thoughtful.
“Did you- Wait. Did you write The Shadow Instruments?”
I grimace.
“My cousin loves those books! Has done since she was 15,” he declares.
“Sounds about right. I’ll sign a copy if you think she’d like that.” Then it hits me. “Ugh, I sound like such an asshole.” My red forehead feels cool against the marble table top where we’ve stopped to enjoy one of those overly caffeinated beverages they invented here.
He’s been silent a little too long.
Oh. That’s why. He’s googling me. I want to die. I’m leaving everything to my sister. My forehead returns to the table top. It’s less embarrassing there.
“Fuck me,” he says.
“No thanks,” I mumble. “We’ve only just met.”
“That’s not true,” he says absentmindedly, his attention still 99% focused on what he’s reading.
“It’s called artistic license. And you’ve only just met the new and improved Simon Lewis. Crying chibi Simon Lewis drowned the other day. Memorial donations go to the charity of your choice.”
“Huh?” Then he goes silent.
“There’s something fundamentally wrong with you being quiet. It’s unnatural. I don’t trust it.”
“Just thinking, that’s all,” he answers.
“You’re thinking thoughts. Great.”
“Do you narrate everything in your head? The way you talk it sounds like you’ve got a running commentary goin on up there. At all times.”
“Accurate.”
“Is that what makes you a good author?”
“Who says I’m a good author?”
“My formerly 15 year old cousin,” he says with a smirk. He’s smirking. Great.
“She would know,” I say, nodding. “Everybody loved the thought of a 15 year old writing about young people his own age. ‘Such an original voice,’ they said. ‘A breath of fresh air in a genre full of middle-aged women writing for tweens,’ they said. Nevermind that YA is not for tweens. They’d know that if they bothered to read one. My characters are underage killers! Of people and things! And when they get older, I’m going to make them swear. And maybe there’ll be sex scenes. I’ve been researching.”
“You had to do research for the sex scenes?” He looks disbelieving and confused. It’s very squinty.
“Well, they’re sorta…I dunno…I mean- cuz there’s kinda, like, these two boy-” Yeah, and that requires some research.
He’s not even listening. He’s back to googling. When he finally looks up again he says, “I’ll take that signed copy.”
————/Billy/————
The sound of doors openin makes me glance up at the cafe, and there is a proper stunner driftin out like an apparition. Actually, I see her more as a Mata Hari, in all her floatin, gauzy scarves she’s wearin as a cover up for her bikini. And they’re not doin a damn thing to cover her up. She looks Italian, all tanned olive skin and dark hair, but there’s just something different to her. In her manner maybe.
Her fingers are flashing big bits of rock, her eyes are hidden by absurdly oversized black sunglasses with a logo I’m supposed to recognize, and she’s sportin a huge black hat with a brim so wide, it’s a miracle she’s got a tan at all. If I could guess, she’s off one of them yachts out there in the deep waters beyond the marina.
And she’s makin straight for me. Hmmmm. What can I say? It happens.
“Simon Lewis,” she purrs.
Oh. Right.
“Sabina,” he answers drily. I must say I’m surprised. Seems Simon’s got some game.
He stands and they air kiss each other on both cheeks. “Now,” he says, gesturing outward as if he’s indicating all of Italy, “I get why you’re always kissing everybody.”
So she looks Italian, kisses like an Italian, but doesn’t sound at all Italian. It’s a weird accent I can’t quite identify. And I’ve a pretty good ear.
“Why are you in Italy?” she asks.
“Why are you?” Game on, Simon!
“Oh, you know how it always is,” she sighs in boredom. “I’ve got a couple gigs here and there.”
“On the Amalfi Coast?” he asks.
“Oh, you know,” she trails her fingertips along our table, “some people, some parties, Capri, Naples.”
I stand and pull out a chair, finally remembering my manners. “Will yeh join us?”
The way she pulls her sunglasses down her nose and scans me from top to toes, I’ve never felt so much like man meat — at least never with my clothes still on. “Hello,” she says. “Haven’t you got good eyes. And a good face. And-“
“Sabina, this is my BFF forever, Billy Delaney. He’s Irish,” Simon qualifies, as if that explains something. What’s that supposed to mean?
I hold out my hand, but she’s already turned all her attention back to Simon, giving him the same up and down appraisal as she’s done me. “You look good, Simon. What happened?” she asks.
I don’t think I’m takin much of a likin to her. Her compliments sound a mite like insults.
“Nevermind,” she cuts him off. “No time, they’re waiting,” she says, gesturing toward the marina. “You should come to my show this weekend in Naples,” she says, taking Simon’s new notebook and writing something inside.
“Is there a venue the right size for you guys?”
“No no. Not with the band. It’s just a tiny little gig I’ve got spinning at an underground club no one is supposed to know about. You know the ones. Come.”
“Maybe,” he says blandly. Stone Cold Simon Lewis, ladies and gents. Who knew?
Her eyes bounce back and forth between Simon and me. “Billy,” she says, dismissively. I don’t think a girl has ever spoken to me like that in my life. Before I can speak, she’s turning to Simon and kissing him full on the mouth. “Ciao, Simon,” she purrs again. Then she floats off in a swirl of gauze that barely covers her assets.
I don’t think I’ll be missin her company overmuch. And yet, as a consummate wingman I still find myself asking, “Why didn’t yeh get her number?”
“Oh, I already got her number,” he says. “And she already shot me down.”
————/Simon/————
Just a short walk beyond the marina, the restaurant is on the water. Literally. I can hear the sea sloshing peacefully against the foundations at our feet.
They’ve seated us at a table against a wall of windows that runs the entire length of the restaurant. Even if the food isn’t orgasmic the way Billy promised, I could sit here for hours just looking.
Billy sees the rapt expression on my face, and says quietly, “Just wait til you see the sunset.”
And suddenly we’re ordering. Billy has chosen some really unappealing stuff. But for me he immediately orders a lobster, and smiles to himself as if he knows something I don’t. Which is likely how to speak Italian. Or how to cook.
While we’re waiting on our Neapolitan style sardines (which I am really not looking forward to), Billy asks, “You wrote yourself into the book and y’didn’t let yourself get the girl? What’s the point, if you don’t win in the end?” He’s looking at me as though he’s never seen me before, or at least has never mistaken me for an amoeba before.
“Oh, we won in the end.” Pfft, did we. “Yes. Yes, we did. I am very proud of our having won that war, by the way. It was close, til Other Simon mans the fuck up. Vamps the fuck up, really. And oh my God does he. Big displays of courage. And facial tattoos. But whatever.”
“Right. Now stop speaking in inside references and get on with it, man.”
“Dude, don’t ask the impossible. I was born a hipster. You can’t just unhipster at the drop of a hat. Seriously, it’s a lifestyle.”
And yes, fictitious audience in my head, you might be shocked and dismayed to discover that hipsters actually do refer to themselves as hipsters. Out loud. Without irony.
“So yeah,” I continue. “We won in the end. And I kinda sorta got the girl. The wrong one. For like 5 seconds.”
The waiter appears with olives, bread for dipping in very expensive oil virginally pressed from local olives, and the Pinot Grigio Billy requested. He didn’t just choose the wine. He selected it. From roughly page nine in the wine portfolio. They didn’t call it a portfolio, but I feel like they should have. Sounds vaguely Italian and schmancier than ‘wine list.’ The waiter assures us that the sardines will be ready shortly.
————/-/————
Oh my god I can’t eat them, they have eyes. And tails, and everything in-between. And they’re way bigger than the tiny ones in tins they stick on Caesar salad back home. They’re, like, actual fish-sized, if a little smaller than the usual dinner fish. And there are like twelve of them. WTF?
“They’ve been gutted,” Billy says, seeing my horror. As if that’s reassuring. “And the bones are tiny — they just add a little crunch.”
“Ew, gross!”
He’s laughing at me. “Simon. When in Italy…”
“When in Italy you eat fish whole? I’m going home.”
“Pull it off the bone. It’s delicate, so it’ll be easy. Like me to do it?”
“Yes, please. Then you should eat it.”
Billy sighs, and along comes my old friend, the shaking head. I roll my eyes quietly to myself.
He’s whisked away my plate and started a very careful, not at all easy-looking minor surgery on a small fish. For my benefit. “Thanks,” I say warily, when he hands it to me. I try pushing it around my plate to make it look like I’m eating it. “Yum,” I say.
“Simon, just stick the little grubber in your mouth.”
“And that’s supposed to make me want to eat this stuff? What’s a grubber?!”
“Simon.”
“Billy.”
“Please?” he says. “For me?”
Oh my god, does that work on people? Yes, because it works on me.
“Wow. It’s actually good.” And now that I’ve tried it, for him, I stop trying it. Because I’m no less grossed out, just cuz it tastes good.
Unfortunately, there is still the meat of ten sardines still left sitting on the plate. Not my problem, “I’ll just enjoy my Pinot Grigio. Holy shit is it good.”
Oh no. The waiter is heading this way with a very concerned look on his face.
“You are not liking the dish?” …of fish, I want to end the sentence for him like Dr. Seuss. But “merp” comes out instead.
“No, no Tomaso,” says Billy. “It’s lovely. He’s just American.”
“Hey!” I shout at him in my head. In real life, I nod in agreement.
“Ah. Si si si, certo,” says Tomaso, as if that explains everything. Which it kinda does. “Soon I bring to you il piatto secondo,” he assures me.
“But that’s not what I ordered,” I whisper to Billy when Tomaso walks away.
Billy’s eyes crinkle in amusement. “Second plate, that’s all, mate. Main course.”
My lobster arrives. Now this I know how to take apart and still want to eat it afterwards.
Guest starring: Mini fish and lobster. The sardines were awesome, btw. But there was freaking out about the ‘whole fish’ thing.
“Aw! They don’t debone the mini fish, but they’ll split the lobster? It’s the one thing I know how to eat with my hands, and they take that joy away from me? That is so not normal.”
Billy’s laughing. It’s a good sound. Makes me happy that he kinda seems to get me. And my humor. And he gets how to take me — with like a whole bunch of salt thrown over one’s shoulder.
“Respect the chef,” Billy says, raising his glass. “And to Poseidon, who gave us these frutti di mare. Fruits of the sea.”
We’re toasting-slash-praying to Poseidon now?
I pose the question, “Did you know that chicken of the sea is actually a fish?”
“Em…… Right, so it’s wise to toast Poseidon, mate. He has much power on this coastline. Ancient rocks full of Greek magic.”
But all rocks are ancient. Whatever. “Ok,” I raise my glass. “To the sea god. Also, are you like a closet mythological sea god fetishist?”
“Shut up and take a bite,” he commands. Frickin commands! I shiver.
I decide to play along and follow his command. “Oh my-“
“Stop there!”
Rude.
“Like wine, the very first taste is your first exposure to how the entire dish should taste at its very best.” Ohmygod he is so pretentious right now and I am loving it. “And with each bite, your mouth grows a little more accustomed to one or another part of the larger flavor, so that first bite is the fullness of what the chef intended you to experience. What do you taste?” he asks.
“Oh my god, Billy. Stage fright much? How am I supposed to follow that?”
“Simple question. What does it taste like?”
“Tomato…..that tastes really bright. Like sunshiney. Is that weird?
“That’s perfect. Keep going,” he encourages.
“But it’s not, like, tangy at all. It’s….velvety?”
He nods, “On the tongue.” It’s just a statement of fact, not sexy.
“And kinda more like a gravy. No, that’s totally wrong, cuz it’s not at all a gravy, but it is. I guess it’s rich. How can these tiny little tomatoes taste sunshiny and like gravy velvet.” I groan, “Why am I like this?”
“Nah, man. You’re just doin it right. What do you see on your plate?”
“There’s lobster. That’s part of the flavor, too, but not the loudest part. The silky sauce clings to every surface of the noodles. And these noodles are almost obscene. Who sells noodles like this?”
“Pasta, mate. And nobody sells it. The make it. Just saving you from unintentionally speaking inflaming remarks near a chef.”
“Thank you,” I nod. “It’s like you know me. Also, is it weird that I might have gotten a stiffie during all the food talk? Or maybe it’s the food itself….that you won’t let me eat.”
“Go on, man, go on,” he waves.
“Now you’re like, beckoning me to eat. Stop that. My dick is confused.”
Billy just says, “What did I tell you, mate? Next bite is the orgasm. You’ve already done the foreplay.”
“Stop it!”
He does. But, “You’re still smirking, so it’s like you’re still talking food porn.” Down, dick! Bad boy. Sit.
“Nah, man. You were the one talkin pornographic descriptions.”
“Oh, good,” I sigh a breath of relief. “So it was me that gave me wood, and not you. I’m less confused now.”
“It was four ingredients givin you a horn, man. Four total. What is visible on the plate and the oil in the pan at the start.”
“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me.” Apologies, Poseidon.
“Welcome to campania, the fertile, bountiful, fruitful.”
“Now my dick is confused by you being so over the top. Stop.” I take another bite and just roll the pasta around in my mouth. On my sophisticated palate. “I’ve died and gone to heaven.” I jump. “No! Wait. I’ve dined and gone to heaven.”
Billy is groaning loudly, but not in an appealing, sexy way. More like a way reflecting his complete disbelief at the quality of my punmanship. He’s heaving a sigh, as if I’ve pained his brain and sprained his sterling image of me. Nah, he knows me well enough to lack illusions about the varying quality of my puns.
“Lord, Simon.”
“I like the sound of that.”
Billy snarfs wine out his nose. Which makes me feel both good and sorry for him. “FUCK, not again!!!” he moans, holding his napkin to his face, and rocking back and forth in his chair.
“Again?” I have to know.
“Red wine is not quite as bad as vodka.”
I pull back sharply and hiss in sympathy.
Who hisses in sympathy?! Kill me now. Someone. Please.
“Where was this vodka incident?” I have to know.
“In a minute. First, put some food in yer mouth,” Billy directs me.
“Yes, sir!” I wink at him. But then I’m back to the potential for an orgasm on my tongue. “Oh, my god. What the- How- How is it even better than my short term memory of it?” The food has rendered me incoherent. God, I hate it when other people are totally right. It’s a character flaw. Whatever. “I just want to roll it around on my tongue for the rest of time.”
“Have yeh tried that line with a girl?”
Oh my god, I think I’m blushing. He just made me blush! How old am I? “Pishhh,” is the entirety of my answer, because sometimes Yiddish speaks louder than words.
“Don’t be embarrassed, mate. An orgasm on yer tongue, yeah?”
“Oh my god,” is how brilliant at speaking I am right now. “Yes, I can feel my panties getting wet as we speak. Oh! And I’d like to bathe in this. Do you think they could arrange that? I’ve always wanted to bathe in pasta. And being that this is the best pasta on earth, I really do deserve the very best bathing experience, too.”
“Stop while you’re ahead, Simon.”
“Ouch! And yeah, baby. Come to daddy. You beautiful lobster, you.” I am not flying my fork around like an airplane at a fine dining establishment. But I did consider it. “Y’know it’s funny. It never occurred to me that there might be lobsters outside of Maine.”
Billy slumps (theatrically, I might add), then empties the rest of the bottle of wine into his glass.
————/Billy/————
“You cold?” Simon asks, then tosses the shirt he’s had tied round his waist at me. “You shivered.”
I must not have heard whatever he said next, cuz Simon is asking. “What?” And his eye caterpillars are creased together. Now he’s laughing. “You should see your face!” It’s said with humor, but I must have flinched. The smile has begun a decided slide as if gravity had something to do with it.
“Thanks, mate,” I manage, trying not to show how much that simple observation has affected me. Nobody ever notices stuff like that with me. Or actually pays attention after they ask how I am. I’m used to it. But here comes this lunatic in front of me, and he bothers to notice that I’m cold. I don’t know what to do with it. I am at a loss.
“Sure, whatever.” He leads us through the door and back to the street.
“Wait.” He’s stopped in his tracks. “We’re not going back up the hell stairs. No fucking way.”
I raise my hands and shrug, because yeah, “That was the plan.”
“You have got to be fucking kidding me. No fucking way.” He makes me watch him put his foot down.
“What, man, are you scared?”
“Yes!” he splutters.
“Don’t want to break a sweat? Or worried about a fall to yer death?”
“No and yes, in order. Asshole! And here I thought you were this big-hearted guy, but you’re just a tall, handsome, Irish, Mean Girl. I thought you were better than that, Billy.”
“I’m still stuck in the beginning part where you think I’m handsome?”
Simon gives me a dramatic shocked-horrified look.
Now this is the part where I start wondering again… “Theatre school, Simon. Admit it.”
“Dammit! You asshole,” he says, raising a finger to make his point.
“What did I do?” I demand. “Yeh needn’t be very embarrassed about the theatre school. It’s only really just a wee bit embarrassing. Just a wee bit,” he reiterates.
“You wish you went to theatre school,” he sneers.
“And there it is, ladies and gentleladies, the truth. Theatre school.” I’m laughing, I mean Jaysus, what else am I supposed to do with that?
He rolls his eyes. “Imagine you at theatre school. You’d prolly get a movie like the first thing you tried out for. That face, Jesus. Sometimes I kind of hate you. I mean, not like, a lot. Just enough to thumb my nose at God and say, ‘He could be better, y’know, God. Somewhere is a flaw, I know it.’”
Now he’s eyeballing me. “Your turn to look for it, God. I need a break.”
Now Simon is turning to me with a discomfiting curiosity. “Have you ever been shot down? Like by a girl.”
I’m speechless. What the hell am I supposed to say to that? It’s not like he wants to hear the truth. “What the fuck, Simon. What’re yeh on about? What’s gotten into yeh, man?”
“You’re avoiding, redirecting. That means you’ve never been shot down, have you?”
The good thing about this idiocy is that we’ve reached the stairs, and he still hasn’t noticed.
“I’ll tell yeh this, mate. Your girl, Sabina – she had no eyes for me, man. If I’d have tried it on with her, she’d’ve definitely shot me down. It was rather an emasculatin feelin, all told. I hope to never repeat it.”
He’s smiling and keeps climbing.
Until, “And you asshole! For making me climb these fucking stairs!”
————/-/————
Masterlist || ao3 || Start: Jan || Prev: April || Next: June wip!
————/-/————
#simon x billy#year of otp#year of otp 2023#may chapter#chapter 6#you look good what happened#robert sheehan#simon lewis#billy delaney#robert sheehan character fic#simon is simon#pin#pinned post
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