#biggest heel in the pokemon universe

[gummywyvern]

I made a pokesona and im THRILLED shes going to become the best wrestler ever. Shes a incineroar/mightyena fusion. Tentatively naming her Jode.

#biggest heel in the pokemon universe #incineroar #mightyena #pokesona #furry #ikanadrawings

[jungkook97]

hello girls and gays, just thought to make an entire masterlist of fanfiction works i’ve done so far to organize everything together!

⚠️ disclaimers: most of my fics are going to be mostly jungkook and reader with the occasional ships depending if the story fits! i do not take requests and only dedicate fics to people i love or know well for accuracy. reader’s attributes are not mentioned at all for better immersion & are generally female presenting, however it’s very easy to skip them if you’re not!

💬  shoot me an ask if you wanna be tagged in future works or write me a review. i will not be angry if you do not reblog or engage with my works because honestly i write for fun anyways. also, if you wanna collab on anything, just send me a message and we can plot 😈

here are the writing reviews i’ve gotten so far if you wanna read them before diving in 👇 🏊‍♀️  

J U N G K O O K & r e a d e r 

ONE SHOTS ˎˊ˗₊‧‎♡

♡ °✧‧₊˚ stuck with u - non-idol with reader, camping trip, oneshot (f2l, smut, slice of life-ish)

jeon jungkook was always over at your damn house growing up every day and known as your little brother’s bestest friend in high school, playing pokemon or some nerdy stuff. you knew he had some stupid lil crush on you for years, but didn’t think much of it. until of course, he sees you again at the fine age of 24 as some hot shot got you thinking differently. 

♡ °✧‧₊˚ can’t get over you - canon with hybe staff!reader, oneshot (f2l, slice of life, soulmates, character study)

jungkook lives to love people, and as he would take a break from the chaotic energy of loving, he falls head over heels for someone yet again. are they the actual love of his life this time, or is the universe messing with him? 

♡ °✧‧₊˚ why didn’t you wait for me? - non-idol fuckboy & post-college, vacation trip, oneshot (e2l, angst)

you attend a wedding in hawaii with your old high school buddy taehyung for a much needed reunion. little did you realize that the last person you wanted to see would end up attending.

♡ °✧‧₊˚ crush on you - canon with marketing director!reader, drabble (fluff, confessions)

jungkook always had the biggest crush on people who are good at their jobs. y/n always had the biggest crush on the youngest member of bts. y/n wins an award. jungkook is in attendance.

♡ °✧‧₊˚ admit it - canon & fwb with staff!reader, oneshot (smut, possessive as fuck jungkook)

you, taehyung and jungkook go out for the night much to jungkook's dismay. you looked fine as fuck tonight, and jungkook feels a certain type of way about it.

♡ °✧‧₊˚ severed - non-idol jungkook with reader, oneshot (sci-fi, drama)

you and jungkook had a terrible breakup. and so, you two decided to delete each other from your guys' memories.

♡ °✧‧₊˚ and if you let me - non-idol coworker! jungkook with reader, drabble (fluff)

it was your last day at work and jungkook, who has a big fat crush on you, throws a going away party before you go.

♡ °✧‧₊˚ (PENDING) 505 - canon with normie and very toxic!reader, oneshot (angst, light depictions of smut, friendzoned!idol jungkook, emotional manipulation, unrequited love)

she calls him and he comes like clockwork every time, even though he knows deep down that it’s never a good idea. this time, he has 2 hours to turn around before he picks her up from her ex-boyfriend’s house. will he get there or will he finally let her go?

SERIES ˎˊ˗₊‧‎♡

decision to leave universe

⋆｡°✩ decision to leave - canon with hollywood socialite!reader, oneshot (missed connections, forbidden love and abrupt endings, angst, character study)

being an idol is never easy. they work endlessly, and "fans", the media, and the company follow and critique their every movement. they're not strong enough, one could feel very trapped and suffocated. jungkook was used to all of this. what he wasn't used to was finding the right person at the wrong time.

⋆｡°✩ fling - canon with reporter!reader, spinoff from decision to leave (angst, missed connections)

you were interviewing bangtan and couldn't help but felt a level of closeness to the youngest member. soon after, jungkook ended up taking a liking to you, proposing that you two should meet up throughout the week while he was in town for a little fun.

⋆｡°✩ (PENDING) perfect illusion - canon with reporter!reader, continuation of fling (angst, missed connections)

a year has passed since you had your little fling with jungkook and well, things surely have changed: for better or for jungkook, worse. you returned to his life in an unexpected way, only to fall in love with one of his band members, min yoongi.

J U N G K O O K & B A N G T A N 

⋆·˚ ༘ * something about us (namjikook) - college, series (f2l, romcom, smut, slice of life, coming out journey)

very upright christian boy jeon jungkook decided to do his roommate kim taehyung a favor by stopping by his plug’s house to get his usual shit.

little did he know that taehyung’s plug was fucking hot.

⋆·˚ ༘ * it's a bad idea, right? (jungkook x reader & yoongi x reader) - oneshot (non-idol!roommate jungkook, musician!yoongi, and music industry person!reader, romcom, smut)

yoongi and y/n broke up and she wants him back. desperately. so much so that she got a fake boyfriend (aka her annoying BUT attractive roommate) to get him jealous. what a terrible idea.

O T H E R 

✿ - love drought (jackson wang x reader) - canon, oneshot (post-breakup, slice of life, angst, character study)

both of you are broken from past relationships, but chose to give love another chance when you met each other. when a misunderstanding and a long history of miscommunication leads to a breakup, you two are left wondering if you two were wrong for each other, or was it based on circumstances. on one fateful night, you decided to meet up with jackson to not only catch up, but to figure out the answer to the most important question.

#jungkook #jungkook scenarios #jungkook fanfic #jungkook x reader #writing #mine #gonna make this my pinned officially but anyway. this isn't really a writing blog exclusively #i'm just too lazy to make a whole new #writing blog esp if i already wrote shit here and tbh i'm gonna keep leaning onto this bc ok #i do have a few plot bunnies around and i need some time to flesh it out #but hopefully by year's end there's more to this #i do wanna write more bangtan fics just to keep my writing bug going and not lose steam bc fuck i love writing and wanna get better #i have a lot to work on as well like world building and doing chaptered fics but anyway! fanfiction writer katie is back baby #pls rly do not ask for requests like i will not fulfill them anyway and will make it very different from what you think #i cannot write smut for shit so don't ask me to write a 10k fic of jungkook railing you ok i'm serious

[noirleo]

Did someone say gush about your self-insert?! *taps on microphone*

Beatrice exists in every Turtle-verse in some shape or form, but I have had Bayverse on the brain lately! Not an exact self-insert, but I never or rarely see characters in media that look like me (plus-size) or live my neurodivergent and disabled experiences (fibromyalgia), so I pour a lot of myself into her. It feels nice to have the hero fall in love with the parts of myself that I'm still exploring and unpacking.

She meets the boys when she and the four of them are in their late teens and she is some weeks away from graduating high school. Bea is really friendly with a lot of her neighbors, including a family that owns a restaurant and likes to serve food to the homeless. Some cops come by to harass them and the brothers step in. The boys are all charmed by the five foot nothing woman threatening to swing her cane at one of the officers. They start to get to know her and Bea moves into the lair not long after once her grandmother passes and she can no longer keep the apartment.

Found family is the biggest cornerstone in her life. April and Casey and Splinter become surrogate parents to Bea and she gains three protective teddy bears of turtle big brothers in Mikey, Donnie, and especially Raph. But she and Leo fall in love and thinking about it just turns me to mush.

She is a humongous dork. A human disaster. Clumsy as heck and will info dump on you about Pokemon or her art or her passion for marine biology for hours if you let her. After college, she will work at a zoo in the aquarium as a tour guide and keeper. Bea and Leo bond a lot when Splinter asks her to teach him how to cook (the poor toaster could not take much more) and it is a slow and deep burn from then on out. He is so patient with her and she him and at the core of their love is a strong friendship and understanding and tender vulnerability. They accept each other for everything the other is and feel at home and safe when they're together.

Eventually Bea is hit with mutagen and turns into a GIANT alligator snapping turtle mutant. She is as tall as Donnie and never remembers to duck before entering a room. There is also at least one adopted turtle baby in her and Leo's future. 💙 I hope to post some fics soon.

Thanks for letting me dump all my turtle love on you! This was a lot of fun!

see you get it. you understand that leo is fatally attracted to human disasters, its his achilles heel in any universe

she seems like so much fun and such a well rounded oc, i bet she and mikey totally bonded over a love for pokemon and video games:) and i can totally see raph taking one look at her and her tiny grandma and thinking “yeah we’re keeping them” akdjfjs

i want to hear all about beatrice’s adventures in trying to teach leo to cook bc i just know it was a trauma bonding event

#asks #anon #oc sharing circle #thank u for sharing i love her!! #its always nice to meet a fellow leo gal

[centrally-unplanned]

Allocating Your Aesthetic Budget: Sailor Moon Edition

Sailor Moon is a show that undoubtedly built a powerhouse of a visual brand. Should I even bother posting a screenshot of the sailor scouts, given that I am 100% confident anyone reading this can recall them instantly? I guess it won’t hurt: 

Anime is often really good at creating iconic designs like this, through repetition of the visuals. It is awkward in live action shows if characters just wear the same outfit every scene (what, they only own one outfit? Are they homeless/work in the tech industry?), but animation gives us enough aesthetic “distance”, an awareness that this isn’t accurate to real life, that you can buy into the conceit. By wearing the same outfit every time, it just becomes the character. Not to mention a studio can really save quite a few bucks by streamlining production with neat tricks like having only one character design to animate - when you are on a shoe-string budget, like pretty much every anime in the 90’s was, every cut corner counts.

What is interesting about Sailor Moon is that most of the time it doesn’t really use this conceit at all.

-----------

Episode 15 of Sailor Moon’s first season has, in its opening act, this shot of all of the Senshi (at the time) talking to the plot-of-the-day character, who clearly trains rock Pokemon in 16-bit caves in his off hours:

If you knew nothing about these three characters, you could probably infer about 80% of their personality just from their outfits. Usagi (the blond one in the middle, if that's necessary) is wearing:

Light pastel colours, with pink on top of that: girly, feminine, bubbly and breezy

Short-but-not-too-short of a skirt, and red heels: cares about fashion, wants to project an image of being a woman with a romantic hint to it

Long-twin tails w/ buns: Contrasting the shoes, she is still immature and childish. It also means she is the protagonist of an anime 

Rei (far right) rocks a very different look:

T-shirt and jean shorts, shoes over heels: sensible, practical, a bit sporty

Very short shorts, long black hair: Confident, a bit aggressive, and suggestive of a more overt sexuality

Ami (far left) settles into a more restrained vibe with:

Full, long, but sleeveless dress, bob-cut hair: Chaste, more conservative, but not to the point of prudishness; particularly with the length (and the hand posture, shielding her body) probably a bit shy

Monochrome blue colour in outfit & hair: reserved, serene, possessing a calm demeanor

I know I have seen the show already, but really none of these details are a stretch - this is just the language of fashion. And all of these outfits are outfits that the characters have never (or rarely) worn before up until this point. The cast of Sailor Moon, far from that animation conceit of “standard outfits”, change clothes all…

the….

time.

     I just randomly clicked on episodes to find these, it requires no hunting

And while it isn’t always as spot on as the top picture, they all in some way embody the language of visual design to speak to the personality of the characters. If you want to see more, check out one of the multiple tumblrs dedicated to the everyday clothing the Sailor Senshi wear, because of course those exist.

If this was a 2010’s Kyoto Animation show, pointing this out would be the end of it - every one of their shows has this level of impeccable detail. Sailor Moon is notable in that it is not at all that kind of show; the animation and designs in Sailor Moon take perpetual shortcuts to get the job done. I don’t think the transformation sequences need to be belabored - the way they permitted the team to recycle identical animation sequences, multiple times per episode, was surely a godsend to the production schedule. Yet not all of the budget limitations are so prettily masked:

     I’m sure they finished the background art in the...VHS release?

The show is filled with dirty animation, unfinished backgrounds, backgrounds that are a simple color gradient for no clear reason, and so on. It is clear that the Sailor Moon team did not have the resources for every detail - which is why the decision of what details they did choose to prioritize is so interesting.

----------

What is the point of Sailor Moon? I do believe that shows have “points”; and by that I don’t mean a message or theme but a core appeal to an audience, something specific that they will get out of the show. Almost every show appeals along multiple axes, and Sailor Moon is no exception, but I want to focus on one: aesthetic identification.

If you learn someone is a Sailor Moon fan, there is the obvious follow-up question you have to ask, namely “which Sailor Senshi are you?” It’s the which-Harry-Potter-house-are-you question of anime, a horoscope where you can choose your sign (in this case literally). The premise of this concept is not hard for media to execute on - it is just personality traits and aesthetics grouped together under a label, a basic building block of media and clickbait internet quizzes. Harry Potter, ironically, raised up its memetic question almost by accident, as its focus is so squarely on House Gryffindor that the others are almost forgotten; it was just so mind-bogglingly popular that it didn’t matter. 

Sailor Moon, however, takes this concept and allocates so much of its aesthetic budget into making it a centerpiece of the show. Sailor Moon herself is a klutzy, lazy romantic, Sailor Mercury is a shy, earnest bookworm, and so on, with none of them ever really becoming very complex characters. However, the show devotes itself to making you *feel* these archetypes as strongly and intricately as possible. All of those outfit changes are chosen because not only do real girls care about their outfits and can therefore identify more strongly with characters who do the same, but so they can constantly emulate their archetype in diverse, different ways. The show doesn't have the budget for intense action scenes, so after Sailor Moon engages in her hyper-serious transformation sequences, she proceeds to, nearly every time, bumble through the combat scenes like this:

Oh sure, the scenes are done this way because it is funny (and good comedy can be done on any budget - these shots are frequently still frames with motion lines!), but it is also done this way because Sailor Moon is a total screw-up, and if you identify with that it is validating to see someone “just like you” able to pull off wins despite it all. The transformation sequences are not only beautiful animation that showcases aspirational power, but are also crafted to highlight the personalities of the Senshi in question - unless you think aggressive, combative Rei got fire powers by coincidence. Half of the run-time of every episode is spent, not on the plot du-jour, but on light-hearted personal squabbles between the cast because those scenes are not just funny, but also allow for far more moments of character expression. 

All of that work pays off in building with the audience, not a connection with a character who reflects their identity in total, but a connection that reflects one aspect of their identity in an extremely deep (dare I say multifaceted?) way. I think if you were to describe Sailor Moon as a “shallow” show, you would actually be right to say so, in a sense. These characters will never have the true depth of personality, themes and so on of a more ‘adult’ show. But those adult shows have to spend their effort somewhere - for all that the themes of say Evangelion or Paranoia Agent are pristinely detailed and impactful, you aren’t ever going to be memorizing the moves of their transformation sequences. The way Sailor Moon committed so strongly to fleshing out the archetypes the Senshi stood for is, I think, one of the keys to how this cast of five became so iconic.

     Not even their school uniforms match! They had to spend time in-universe *justifying* this!

----------

A Final Note:

At least, everything I’ve said here applies to Sailor Moon at its peaks. The show, however, is not one without its stumbles, even in Season 1. This section doesn’t flow into the core essay too well, but I wanted to note it because if you were to watch Sailor Moon today, you might struggle to feel the dynamic outlined above. The biggest culprit here is the length - Season 1 is 46 episodes long, and sections of it most certainly drag. They also take a startlingly long time to introduce the cast - this choice builds tension around their arrival, but it also means the later Senshi get a lot less time to establish themselves. Sailor Venus in particular gets hamstrung by this - she is introduced and then immediately arc plot elements sweep the narrative, and so she is left as a hollow shell for some time. The pacing of the show is undoubtedly flawed.

I think Sailor Moon is a show that you do have to keep its time and place in mind for - namely, middle schoolers and anime nerds watching it on broadcast TV in the 90’s. As an adult you “get” the point of the show pretty quickly, and get satiated on it almost as fast. Watching it all in a few sittings only heightens this problem. For a younger audience, and one that is waiting for a week between episodes with no internet for plot reminders, all that extra time is needed to jog memories and build connections. And younger audiences just have that limitless commitment to the things they love! If you think no one could actually enjoy seeing the same transformation sequence for the 30th time, watch it with someone who would have died for this show when they were 10 and you will be disabused of that notion *very* quickly. 

Still, we can’t travel back in time - Sailor Moon is a show of its era. There are “filler-reduced” guides out there, though I caution that the plot of Sailor Moon is absolutely not the point of the show in comparison to the character dynamics, and so sometimes the filler is the best part (Cat-Rhett Butler is the best character in the show YOU KNOW I’M RIGHT). Certainly, however, some method must be used to cut down on its length. If you are going to be a first time viewer in adulthood, that reality should be kept in mind, and if you do accept it for what it is you can really appreciate its core appeal - and don’t forget to finish it off with a 1990′s era internet personality quiz to really wrap it up!

#essay #anime analysis #sailor moon

[xyzcekaden]

🚍 unsuspecting sunday afternoon 🚍

by me, xyzcekaden! a pokemon fanfic about when the one you hate to love is made for you

How capable is the human heart now?

fandom: pokemon, gen 3, advanced generation characters: ash, may, steven stone in a “supporting” role ship: advanceshipping genre: romance, angst themes: friendship, pre-relationship, slowburn, 6+1 if you squint setting: modern, hoenn, pokemon universe lite word count: 4.6k rating: T

read it below, on ffnet, or on ao3!

A/N (9.7.201): So this has been in my drafts since about April 2020 😅 Sure, I'm happy to finally share something new with the small yet strong advanceshipping fandom; but more than that, I'm relieved this document can no longer taunt me with its incompletion, hahaha. Do let me know what you think! Especially with this opening formatting; I'm trying something new. :)

Nothing sensitive in the fic, but the characters are all adults so it felt fitting to rate it T. Title taken from the song of the same name by the Backstreet Boys, and its lyrics/sentiments are interwoven throughout. The narrative is inspired and framed by monstaxnight's anonymous ask. If you recognise it, it doesn't belong to me. Thanks for reading!

~~~

fall for someone whose body would start fires

On a Saturday, May asked Ash to come over the next day. “I need a second opinion on something,” she had said. “It’ll be super quick.”

Of course, ‘super quick’ means Ash has enough time to set his switch up on May’s gigantic living room tv and play a few rounds of his favourite fighting video game while she gets ready for something or another in her room. He always acts like he has better things to do than help her with her sundry weekly ventures, but they both know he’d rather do ‘nothing’ with her than ‘something’ on his own somewhere else.

“Okay, Ash, are you ready?” May’s voice rings out. “Yeah,” he answers distractedly, strategically button smashing.

“So I kept the jeans from this last outfit, but this top I just got two weekends ago and haven’t had a chance to wear yet,” May narrates as she exits her room. “I had the, frankly, brilliant idea of using the jacket from Outfit 1 and pairing it with those heels you paid for for my birthday, et voila!”

The clacking of heels stops at the entrance of the hallway. “What do you think?’

Ash redirects his attention to May. His avatar dies on screen, just like his voice dies in his throat.

“You, um, you look great.”

In actuality, May looks smoking hot, but that’s not new for either of them. His best friend is supremely attractive, and he knew it and had no problem acknowledging it normally. This time, however, May doesn’t just look physically great, she also looks like she feels like she looks great. He doesn’t know how much sense that makes; but there is decidedly something different, and Ash feels a strange sense of dread in his chest.

May beams, taking the inarticulate response in stride. “Well that’s a winning endorsement if I ever heard one! Now let’s just hope Steven has as great of a reaction.” She turns to one of the many full-length mirrors stationed around her condo and reviews the outfit with a critical eye.

This brings Ash out from his stupor. “‘Steven’?” he repeats as he sits up on the couch. “You’re going on a date?”

“It’s not a date,” May replies in a tone that clearly conveys that she would not be opposed to it turning into a date. “My dad is having dinner with an old business partner, and the guy’s bringing his son along, so me and Max were invited, too. We were kinda friends back when we were young, but it’s not like we’ve kept in touch or anything. I just figured I should make a good second first-impression… You know, for my dad’s sake.”

Ash can tell the last bit was just something she’s telling herself to rationalise why she’s trying so hard, and it doesn’t sit right with him. He slinks back down on the couch dejectedly and halfheartedly starts a new game.

He finds himself wondering how often they hung out and how much whatever-that-number-was-teenth impressions were worth. He hopes it’s a lot.

~~~

fall for someone who always runs from his kiss

“… And I was right! They were roommates!” May boisterously ends her story, almost losing her ice cream to physics as she wildly gesticulates.

They’re just strolling around the park that’s honestly nowhere near either of their apartments; but over the years, it became their park anyway. They didn’t even set plans to hang out today, but it kinda just happened―a recurring theme in their friendship, admittedly.

For his part, Ash hides a smirk with a lick to his own ice cream, not bothering to say or do anything to protect her treat. If she hasn’t learned by now, she never would. “Oh my god, they were roommates,” he deadpans instead.

May sends him an unimpressed smirk and lightly smacks Ash’s shoulder. He yelps. She yanks her hand back as soon as she realises, but the damage is done.

He blinks down at the cold, vanilla, rainbow-sprinkled stain before raising his gaze to meet May’s equally stunned one.

They stare in silence for a moment, then May cracks a conciliatory grin. “For what it’s worth, I’m sorry?”

He shrugs it off easily. “I probably deserved it,” he says, making peace with the knowledge that his previous unwillingness to protect her ice cream from any accidents is the undoubted origin for his current poor luck. He nods toward the path. “Shall we?”

“We passed by a restroom a little bit ago. We can clean you up,” May disagrees, tugging on his arm in the opposite direction.

“‘S fine,” he argues as he tries to continue walking forward.

“Ash, it’ll stain!” She tugs harder.

“It’ll be an improvement!” He’s overpowering her, but not as easily as he’d like.

“Why are you being such a butthead about this!?” She’s pulling with all her strength now, this being a matter of pride to her at this point.

“Come on, May!” Ash heaves one last time.

They tumble head over feet onto the ground, but that’s not the reason Ash feels like his world has turned upside down.

May’s body weighs comfortably on his, his hands naturally settle on her waist with hers on his chest, and his brown eyes bore into her blues. Their ice cream has fallen… somewhere, but Ash doesn’t concern himself with that considering this is the closest they’ve been since they first met.

They’ve been toeing this line since then, too.

I’m gonna do it, he thinks to himself.

He closes his eyes.

He leans in.

May scrambles away.

Ash sits up and blinks at the sight of May’s confused, furious eyes. “Ash, what are you doing?” Her voice croaks like her throat is dry. It makes him clear his own before dumbly responding, “I was trying to kiss you.”

“Why??” she asks, her voice strangled. He pushes himself off the ground warily as he watches her hold herself, bite her lip, shake her head in a panic; and somehow in all of that, he understands.

“I thought it wasn’t a date.” Ash tries so hard not to sound accusatory, but her wince in response proves it didn’t work. It also proves his fear correct.

He turns, hiding as if the people walking by could discern his transgression and shame by the sight of his face alone. Besides, his mind can conjure up an image of her running away just fine on its own.

Ash notices the remnants of their impromptu outing splattered on the ground near his feet. He picks up what he can and stomps over to the nearest trash bin, throwing it in as hard as he can to let out some of his frustration.

He hopes he hasn’t gone and screwed everything up.

~~~

fall for someone whose lips belong to someone else

They don’t talk about it, and then it’s too late.

“Ash, this is Steven,” she tells him softly, as if it could make up for how it feels like the sight of her arms wrapped around the guy’s torso and his arm casually thrown over her shoulder assaults him every time he blinks.

“Steven Stone. It’s great to finally meet you. May speaks of you highly,” Steven introduces with a dignified air. Not pompous, no; he is just someone who was raised being told that he was going to do important things and who happened to believe it.

They shake hands, and Ash’s fingers feel cold, a marked contrast to how there’s something in his chest that’s burning.

Inside the restaurant, the waitress asks if a table is okay, and no one asks for a booth instead. In his seat, Ash is neither directly in between nor directly across from the newly-established couple, and he wonders if this is where all his luck went into.

Lunch goes better than expected.

Ash was prepared to hate the guy, but what is there to hate? Steven has a decent sense of humour, loves pokemon but loves rocks even more, and is COO of the biggest enterprise in Hoenn. He is a safe, sensible choice. This guy isn’t going to break May’s heart.

As the meal winds down, Steven offers to pay for everyone; but Ash still has his pride. In the end, he manages to negotiate paying for just his own plate and drink, knowing he has no right to battle for the privilege of paying for May’s.

He wouldn’t even do so on a typical occasion anyway; but as far as Ash is concerned, Steven’s presence throws all of the friends’ typical rules of engagement out the window.

They say goodbye and part ways in front of the restaurant.

A few steps later, Ash snaps his fingers as he recalls something. He turns around to remind May of their movie plans in a few days, and he is met with the sight of the couple sharing a sweet kiss on the corner while waiting for the light to change.

Steven could never break May’s heart, but he sure can break Ash’s.

Ash turns back and continues walking. He hopes May can remember on her own.

~~~

fall for someone whose touch is way too much

May insists that nothing has changed between them, but clearly something has because Ash doesn’t remember ever being so anxious about her proximity before.

He had always been aware of her, though. Always. When your first meeting is saving the other from getting run over by a tour bus, you quickly develop the habit of keeping track of where the person is at all times.

Between his athleticism and her natural proclivity towards tactileness, casual physical exchanges quickly became their norm: hugs and high fives, friendly elbows in the rib after a good joke and sharing a blanket as they watch a movie, (lingering touches on the shoulder and holding hands even after they’ve escaped a crowd… or did he make those up?).

They were controlled yet unmistakably affectionate markers of their relationship.

But now?

When she shifts one centimetre closer to him in line at the mall food court, he accidentally overpays by fifty pokeyen out of distraction. When she grabs his fork out of his hand to try a piece of his takoyaki, he jerks so hard at the contact that he spills his soft drink all over the table. When she pats him dry using flimsy food court napkins with a joke about ice cream in her voice and fondness in her eyes, he needs to claim a rapid-onset fever in order to give himself an excuse to cut their lunch short immediately.

These innocent touches have been an ever-present facet of their friendship since basically the beginning; and even when he realised he was in love, they hadn’t affected him like this.

Things are different now, despite what she says.

Well, maybe not things; maybe just him.

He had allowed himself to revel in their familiar touches when she was single because he could, because there was no one else that she was supposed to be able to make feel like this. Even if the feeling wasn’t meant for him, it wasn’t meant for anyone else either.

But now.

He can’t, in good conscience, allow his heart to rush and his smile to form and his hand to squeeze back. It wouldn’t be fair to May, not when she’s trusting him with her friendship and he’s taking more from her than that.

Even though he’d like nothing else than to keep that closeness, to go back to how it was between them before, this is the way it has to be now. He just hopes she can understand.

~~~

fall for someone he doesn’t want to feel for

On sleepless nights, he wonders when.

He knows the who, what, why, and how; but the when eludes him.

...

They were both breathing heavy, attention focused on the spot of the road where the girl would have flattened like a pancake if it weren’t for his quick reflexes and hero complex.

The clapping of a few passers-by snapped them out of their shock and into the realisation that he still had her protectively cradled to his chest.

They quickly broke apart, and he took the time to wave off the praise from the gathered crowd while she checked her purse to see if everything was inside.

“You got everything?” he asked after people’s attentions finally turned back towards their own lives.

“Yeah, I do,” the girl replied, and her voice was rather cheery considering the ordeal she just survived. (He would later learn that was her default.)

“Great,” he said, genuine yet awkward.

They continued staring at each other. The adrenaline from their brush with danger hadn’t worn off yet; his heart was still beating very fast.

“So, um, have a good day,” he bade after it was clear neither of them had anything more to say. He made to return to his errands, but a hand on his arm stopped him.

“You saved my life, and you’re just gonna walk away?” she asked incredulously.

He blinked at her. “I’ll be honest; I wasn’t aware there was an after-action protocol for this sort of situation.”

She was incredulous for only a second before she giggled at him. “The least I can do is buy you lunch to say ‘thank you.’”

“Well, I’ve never turned down a free meal,” he accepts with a grin.

She giggled again then stuck out her hand. “My name’s May.”

“Ash.”

...

No, it wasn’t then. Nor was it during the meal they shared, nor at the bar where they happened to see each other that weekend, nor while they were escaping from the bar fight that she accidentally instigated that night.

...

“Is this going to become a running gag? Will I have to constantly be saving you from trouble you unintentionally get yourself into?” Ash panted after he directed her to duck into a nearby alley.

“Hey, as far as I’m concerned, this automatically makes me the most interesting friend you’ve got,” May countered.

He took one extra second to check no one was following them then cut a glance at her. “I don’t know about you, but most of my friends have my number.”

She rolled her eyes with a smile. “Smooth.” They switched phones and exchanged numbers.

“Better memorize that by heart,” he jested as he handed her her phone back. “Don’t wanna waste your one phone call at the station just because you mixed up the last two digits by accident.”

“If the next time you hear from me is because I went and got myself arrested, just leave me to rot. I must have earned it,” she smirked.

...

Luckily, the next time one of them reached out to the other wasn’t to bail the former out of jail. May invited him to a pool party for her birthday, where he handily won a water balloon fight and impressed everyone by fixing the grill for their barbeque. Their friendship continued to progress naturally: movie nights that turned into impromptu sleepovers, brunches that turned into walks around town. Several shopping trips and video games and hikes later, they were each other’s best friends. It was basically inevitable.

So when? When would he have had the chance to fall in love with her?

...

“Hello?”

“Ash, you picked up!” she sounded surprised―happy, but surprised―and he winced. He knew he’d been blowing her off a little more often lately, but making her think he’d turn down her phone call?

“Heh, yeah, sorry about that,” he said, betting on the hope that she somehow implicitly understood everything he was apologising for. “Is everything okay?”

For an extended second, she was quiet, then she said, “I need to tell you something.”

His hackles rose, and he started grabbing his keys and putting on his shoes. Maybe she finally ended up in jail. “Where are you? I can be there in ten minutes, maybe twenty with traffic―”

She giggled, and he paused. That was her nervous giggle. “May?” he asked, still wary but not about to race out of his house with only his boxers on.

“No! No, it’s nothing like that. It’s just… Steven told me he loves me.”

His breath left his lungs.

“And I told him I love him back,” she continued.

All the adrenaline that had surged through his body only moments before completely left him at her words, and his limbs locked up instead. He felt cold.

“Hello?”

He didn’t even realise he had sunk to his knees until he meant to take a step back towards the couch. He just slumped onto his butt. “That’s―” He had to clear his throat. “That’s gotta be recent.”

He could slap himself. He sounded as dead as he felt. He tried again: “I mean, that’s great news, May! He’s a lucky guy. Yeah.”

She sighed with relief. Could Steven tell what her sighs meant over the phone? ”I’m the lucky one, I think,” she said happily, and that was his last straw.

“Heh, yeah, well,” he sputtered out, just to have something to say. “Listen, since you’re not in danger or anything, uh, you actually caught me at a bad time, so I gotta go. I’ll catch you later, yeah?”

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

“Wait, Ash! Before you go!”

He held back a sigh. “What’s up, May?”

“It’s just… You’re right; it is recent. You’re actually the first person I told.”

“I’m honoured.” He couldn’t help the sarcasm that spilled out, but he backtracked quickly. “I mean it. Thank you for telling me.”

“Of course, Ash; I tell you everything. At this point, it’s like I have to; nothing would ever feel real otherwise.”

He shut his eyes. He really couldn’t take this anymore. “I know what you mean. Same here.”

She made a cute sound, a quiet little ‘hmm,’ and that was when the first tear spilled out. “Alright, I’ve taken up enough of your time. I’ll text you later!!” she promised.

“Later,” he repeated, both an echo and a goodbye; and finally, blissfully, he ended the call.

...

When, when, when?!

That was supposed to be one of the sweetest moments of her young adult life, and she called on him―trusted him, even―to be happy for her. When did he get to the point where he couldn’t even do that? Instead, he recalls it now as he struggles to fall asleep, playing the memory at half-speed over and over again in his imagination, and all he does is hope.

He desperately hopes it’ll stop hurting so much.

~~~

fall for someone with the sweetest rebel heart

When he finds out he didn’t get the promotion he was vying for at work, there’s no one else’s comfort he sought but May’s.

“I’m sorry that happened, Ash,” May soothes as she rubs rhythmic circles into Ash’s back. They’re in her condo, noticeably nicer maintained than Ash’s flat, side by side on the sofa. It is the first time he’s let her touch him in weeks, and he really needs it. “At least now they know you’re interested? It might be your turn next time.”

Ash snorts but nods anyway. He’s usually the type to look at the bright side, but it would be an understatement to say that he is simply disappointed. After all the L’s he’s been taking in his personal life, he had been hoping at least something would go his way professionally.

May continues, “Just make sure not to let this setback actually set you back. Keep putting your best foot forward, and I know you’ll win those guys over… just like you did with me!” She ends with a wink, trying her hardest to inject some levity into the situation.

Just like that, Ash’s mood sours even more. “You can’t say that to me, May,” he angrily replies as he shuffles out of her hold.

“What are you talking about?” she pouts as she feebly tries to get him to lay back against the couch so that the cold air can’t get under the blanket they are sharing.

“I didn’t ‘win you over,’ clearly.” He shrugs off her touch and scoots away. He has spent so long trying to keep his bitterness inside, but he doesn’t have the emotional wherewithal to regulate himself right now. He’s tired of trying to get over things that make him upset.

May frowns, the furrow between her brow getting deeper as she sits up straight on the sofa. “Ash, why are you talking like that? I meant, like, how we became friends, obviously. I didn’t grow to love you by accident.”

Ash stands then, balling the blanket up and throwing it back on the couch. “I bet Steven wouldn’t be too happy to hear you say that.”

She follows suit, her voice elevating in volume as if to match. “I bet Steven wouldn’t appreciate being judged by someone who’s only met him once―despite my efforts otherwise, might I add.”

“I bet Steven would love to hear his girlfriend say she loves another guy.”

“I bet Steven isn’t dumb enough to think I can’t love you both.”

“You don’t love me, May!” Ash finally explodes.

He has never raised his voice like this, not to her, but he’s tired. He’s tired of loving someone he can’t have, he’s tired of hating himself for it, and he’s tired of the guilt when he takes it out on her despite all his attempts not to.

She looks like she’s torn between yelling right back or kicking him out; and before she could make up her mind, he collects himself enough so he could bring his voice down. He states simply, “Not the way you love Steven.” Not the way I love you.

He doesn’t say it, but he can tell she hears it anyway. He clears his throat and turns around, trying to hide without running away. “Hearts don’t work like that,” he murmurs into the room.

He makes to leave, but May’s hand on his shoulder stops him. She forcibly turns him back to face her, and Ash is shocked at the determined set to her face. Her eyes, bluer than a water stone and twice as powerful, hold him as captive as they always have. “You listen to me, Ash Ketchum.” Her tone brokers no argument. “If you thought for a second that I stopped loving you because I fell in love with Steven, you clearly underestimated what my heart is capable of.”

Her grip on him tightens, as if making sure he is still with her in the moment. “It’s big enough for the both of you; and if that’s not the way hearts are supposed to work, then I’ll just be the exception that proves the rule.”

She pulls him into a hug then, like locking that promise between them, and he dares let himself hope she means that.

~~~

fall for someone whose heart needs sewing up

Ash wasn’t expecting a knock on his door this late at night, and he definitely wasn’t expecting to see a beautifully made up May Maple standing in the hallway, mascara-tinged tears and runny nose notwithstanding.

"Steven is moving to Alola to support Devon Corp’s expansion," is all she said, but even that much is hard to make out through her watery voice.

The news sinks in, and Ash’s heart feels like someone moved it three centimetres to the left: still there, still functional, but not at all where he needs it to be.

"You’ve always talked about going to Alola," is the only way he could respond, thinking of all the times they’ve imagined taking a week off and vacationing in the tropical region. He won’t, can’t let himself think about anything else or else he’d break down.

In his heartbreak, he cannot recognise May's tears, which are too raw and too loud to be that of someone bearing regrettable news. These are the tears of a confused, broken heart.

"Ash, I'm not going," she sniffles, still stiffly standing outside his door. "He asked me not to."

Finally understanding that he misunderstood, Ash is even more disoriented than he was before. "Why would he do that?" he asks, obviously still trying to wrap his mind around what the hell was happening.

"I don’t know!" May yells while clenching her fists and stomping a high-heeled foot. It is the most movement she's made since he opened the door. "I demanded a reason, and he spewed nonsense at me! He said―" and she stops. Her whole body slumps back into stillness but without the stiffness of before. She continues quietly, "He said he didn’t want to see what I’d look like with my heart so far outside of my chest," like a guilty confession. Ash is at once reminded of their almost-fight a month ago, and he still isn’t sure what this all means.

He almost asks, Why wouldn’t he believe your heart was right where you were? or How capable is the human heart now? but he doesn’t.

Instead, he finally welcomes May inside. He sits her on the couch and helps her take off her heels before she wraps herself up in the blanket he keeps there―a blanket he only has, he remembers, because when she first visited his apartment, she insisted his couch needed one. She doesn’t just hold the blanket around her shoulders; she hides her entire frame within its folds. He merely sits on the couch next to the lump and places a solitary hand on top, unsure where it was resting yet hoping it is providing comfort nevertheless.

He wonders if May ever let Steven see her like this, the way she needs to shut out all stimuli as if to physically recreate her darkest moments. He wonders why he loves that she does that, even though it causes him so much selfish pain to be close enough to see her like this but shut out from her healing.

"I don’t think I have a boyfriend anymore," May says at length, voice dampened by the space and fabric between them.

It would have been the happiest news of Ash’s adult life if it weren’t for the extreme melancholy that laced her tone as she said it out loud.

He squeezes his hand into a fist on top of the blanket, his signal that he’d like to hug her if he could.

"I would have missed you if you left." Ash gives a nonsequitur-confession in response. May burrows deeper into the blankets and says nothing.

Instead, she reaches a hand out from a heretofore unseen opening in the fabric and holds on to his other hand tightly.

Ash stares at her slender knuckles, made paler from her firm grasp, and stops hoping.

He gently plies her fingers from his palm and tries not to feel guilty about the shocked, embarrassed way the hand pulls back into the blanket as he leaves her there.

The love of his life needs compassion right now. This is not his opportunity to sweep her off her feet; this is not his second chance.

He returns from the bedroom, settles back into his place on the couch, and forces May out of the blanket.

~~~

May jerks her head up, shocked and angry and still embarrassed from her rejected attempt to seek Ash’s comfort, but she is quickly mollified into confusion. The expected sight of Ash’s lit up form in his lit up living room ends up being no different from the blackness from which she thought she was rudely taken.

It is so dark under the extra, larger blanket that she can’t even see Ash’s nose even though she can sense his head is mere inches from hers.

His hands find hers in the darkness and squeeze. Relief flashes through her as she finally surrenders to the deep, thick slice of heartbreak.

May wants to see his face, but she settles for a hug.

#pokemon #pokemon fanfiction #advshipping #advanceshipping #ash ketchum #may maple #aamaylove #satoharu #unsuspecting #xyzc*

[imjeralee]

Comfort in Despair: Chapter 24 - Haunted

Leon x F!Reader

Disclaimer: Do not own Pokemon

Summary:

Galar is rich in folklore and tales of the supernatural.

As a Pokemon Researcher who specialises in ghost types, this is a great opportunity for you to investigate and learn more about the paranormal.

Along the way, you meet Leon (in the most awkward way possible) who becomes embroiled in your adventures.

^ Basically this story is about ghosts :/

NOTE: I’m updating early! hope you enjoy. This chapter is quite disturbing (in a different kind of way). 

Rating: General/Teen

@marydragneell​ here is the latest update

Haunted

…

…

[“Laugh, and the world laughs with you; Weep, and you weep alone.”

- Solitude, Ella Wheeler Wilcox]

…

…

Leon sits at the table, wondering what to expect.

He isn’t really sure and he watches the rustling red curtain worriedly as Jace presses a button on his remote and the spotlight moves to shine on the drapes and the same music from the pageant’s opening ceremony begins playing.

He spares Volkner a quick glance; the gym leader is immobile, sitting in his seat with pen in hand over the paper, watching.

Leon passes a glance to Sonia and Jace next.

They look a little perturbed.

Frankie looks nervous too, sitting with Sylveon and Yamper squashed in her arms.

Meanwhile, Ezra snores on the sofa, the music drowning him out.

The curtains rustle again and are promptly pulled apart and you step out.

Leon stares, eyes wide. His hand goes limp, the pen almost falling out of his grip; you look….different.

He’s not the only one. Sonia is also gaping in shock, astounded by the difference in persona which is so glaringly obvious. Jace too, is severely spooked, gawking with eyes as large as saucers.

You’ve turned into a completely different person.

With a wide smile that reaches your ears, you have emerged in a swimsuit and high heels.

He hasn’t seen you wear so little clothing before. In fact, he’s used to seeing you in your long coat, oversized sweaters, cardigans or something…anything that was baggy and casual. He’s used to seeing you in bland, neutral colours with little or no makeup. He’s never seen you so dolled up, dressed up in such bold and bright colours and so exposed before.

He inwardly gulps as you begin to stroll down the aisle with the confidence and grace of a catwalk model, taking long strides in your heels, rehearsing the routine in tune to the music.

Except it’s not really you.

Keeping to her schedule, Sonia begins the introduction, clearing her throat and with script in hands, holding the microphone close to her mouth, “And give it up for the lovely Flora Warren who is here today to represent Motostoke!!!” she exclaims as enthusiastically as possible, but when she’s finished, she lowers the microphone, her lip wobbling with worry.

You parade over the red carpet, waving and smiling, oblivious.

Reading from the script, Sonia says, “Miss Motostoke is twenty years old this year. She is currently a full-time arts student at Hammerlocke University and her hobbies include dressmaking, flower arranging and volunteering at the local pokemon shelter! Her mother is an ex-beauty pageant queen with a five-year win streak and she’s hoping to carry on their legacy if she wins tonight. Good luck to you, Miss Motostoke.”

Following Sonia’s introduction, you wave to the dark audience, blowing kisses and still wearing that rehearsed smile on your face. You’re smiling so widely your cheeks are bunched together so high, your eyes creasing until they have turned into slits. It’s time to head to the left so with a hand on your hip, you head over – it's Leon’s side – and he stiffens as you look at him but your gaze is empty and not belonging to you.

You blow him a kiss and wave, a little flirtatiously, waggling your fingers.

Sonia laughs awkwardly, trying to masquerade it as much as possible. “Oh! What a bold gesture! I wonder what our judge Leon is thinking of?” she outlines, as you leave his side and head to the right where Volkner is.

The gym leader stares at you impassively and writes down his score, unaffected by your demeanour.

Leon glances at Volkner, inwardly wishing he did not get the opportunity to see you so scantily clad like this. Not just Volkner, but Jace too. This pageant is a bad idea and he is uncomfortable with this, as you had predicted. He tries not to let this revelation eat at him, though his chest clenches tightly with discomfort.

When the music is almost over, you return to the middle of the catwalk to perform one last twirl before returning to the curtain, standing in front of it. This should be the part where all the contestants did a synchronised dance and Leon watches as you perform the moves.

The music ends and after giving the miniscule crowd one last wave, you smile and vanish behind the curtain.

Leon’s gut comes undone and he pens in his score for the opening act, not that he really has an idea on how to grade you for this.

Jace blinks blankly the entire time, wondering to himself what in the name of Arceus he had just witnessed.

Frankie clutches the pokemon to herself, the colour drained from her face.

Sonia also appears disturbed, exhaling shakily before moving on to the next act.

It’s question time and you reappear in the swimsuit; Leon is certainly not used to seeing you wearing so little clothing and when you stride over to Sonia, he sees the smooth curve of your ass as you twirl and shift your weight onto one foot for a pose and he harrumphs into his fist, realising it is about to get worse.

Sonia stands at the catwalk with the microphone whilst you join her side, standing with your hand on your hip. In heels, you are taller than her an inch or so.

“Good evening, Flora,” Sonia says, a little reservedly.

“Good evening, Miss Sonia,” you reply, with that never-ending smile plastered on your face.

She hesitates: your voice has changed to a high-pitched, flirty, girlish tone.

“W-well…” she eyeballs the script briefly. “H-how does it feel to be on stage tonight?”

“Simply wonderful! It’s a dream come true!” you gush, uncharacteristically so.

Sonia is struggling to keep a straight face and to minimize her stammering. “Great, let’s move onto the questions then! Our first question for tonight is: Please do tell us something about yourself.”

“Yes, of course, I’d love to,” you speak clearly and confidently; Leon and Sonia cannot help but stare. Oblivious to them, you smile sweetly and say, “I am an embodiment of a new meaning of life. My purpose here is to find the meaning and to fulfill it. This platform is one of my steps towards reaching my goal for this destiny, which I will decide.”

“What an excellent, well-thought answer!” Sonia replies as the crowd claps in response.

You giggle and do a little curtsy, knocking one leg against the other.

She moves onto the next question. “And what would you say is the biggest problem facing our educational system, and why?”

“That is a fantastic question, Miss Sonia, and my reply is this: the biggest problem our educational system faces is that it believes it’s a system. A system is a set arrangement of things. However, education means to impart knowledge by giving and taking to empower the uneducated. This has been forgotten in the process of being a system, which needs to be learned once more.”

“Miss Motostoke, here is our final question: what do you expect to gain by participating in pageants and why?”

“By being a part of these pageants, I expect to gain an opportunity to discover my strengths and perfect them, realise my weaknesses and transform them into strengths and take home the crown.”

“Thank you, Flora. That’s all the questions for tonight.”

“Thank you.”

Sonia returns to face the audience as Leon, Volkner, Jace and Frankie erupts into applause once again and Leon writes down his score.

The night wears on until finally, it’s time for the crowning.

Frankie steps in and gathers the scoresheets off Leon and Volkner, handing them to Sonia. She checks it briefly before returning to the script; Flora is supposed to win anyway and as Sonia head to the stage. The music shifts to a drumroll, courtesy of Jace.

You emerge in the ruby red dress which glimmers brightly under the spotlight and stand behind her a short distance away.

Sonia reads out the scores, where an imaginary third and second runner up are announced.

“And now, the moment you’ve all been waiting for,” she announces, “who will be this year’s Miss Galar???”

You stand in the back, clutching your hands together with your eyes squeezed shut, holding your breath.

"Ladies and gentlemen, the winner of this year's Miss Galar Beauty Pageant is.........." Sonia leaves her sentence trailing for dramatic effect, “Miss Motostoke!”

You shriek with joy, leaping up and down on the spot.

“Give it up for Miss Motostoke!!! Congratulations!!!”

Slapping a hand over your mouth, you’re beginning to cry, thick tears oozing from the corner of your eyes.

Jace switches the sound effect to a fanfare then abandons the remote control to sprint over to the stage. He climbs up a ladder he has propped up where a basket full of confetti has been set up neatly on the top step. He promptly grabs a fistful and promptly tosses it over you as per your guidance.

As you squeal happily, a chair adorned with fancy red cushions is your ‘throne’ and it’s your final destination, a meaningful end to the night; you stride over, seating yourself with the precision and grace of a queen. You wave blindly to the crowd in the dark, smiling.

Next, Jace climbs down the ladder and abruptly tears off his sweater, revealing that he’s wearing a white shirt, suit jacket and tie underneath which he hastily adjusts before Frankie hands him the tiara and sash on a velvet cushion.

He tidies his hair and clothes before he strides over with the awards, presenting them to you.

You gasp with delight, pressing a hand to your chest, yet as you shift your glance, gazing at the pink jewel of the tiara sparkles and shimmers brilliantly under the light…

…your smile instantly evaporates.

In one fell swoop, your body abruptly lurches backwards against the chair as though you are host to an invisible force, before you’re thrown to the floor.

Sonia gasps and Leon stands up, chair legs scraping harshly across the floor as he rushes over and helps you up, snaking an arm around your shoulder and holding your hand tightly.

Your eyes are closed as he shakes you gently, calling your name, and you slowly open your eyes. He breathes a sigh of relief when he sees your pupils are no longer blank and devoid of life. You have returned.

Your head’s throbbing and you emit an uncomfortable groan under your breath. “….Leon?”

“I’m here, it’s me. Are you alright?”

“…I think so.…” you glance around, spotting Volkner, Jace and Sonia who have gathered round.

"What happened to you?" Volkner asks.

“Chuck, are you okay?”

“Thank goodness!” Sonia cries as she envelopes you into a hug whilst Frankie is gawping at the chair you had previously occupied.

“….Flora?” she squeaks out.

A transparent, shadowy silhouette has suddenly appeared from out of nowhere, lingering on the seat, capturing everyone's attention.

“Flora??” Frankie tries to reach out to her but her fingers only come into contact with nothingness, grappling into thin air, “Flora, say something…what’s wrong? Flora?? Flo-

-ra?”

“Flora?”

“Flora, get back here this instant!”

“Leave me alone, mum!”

They’re fighting.

She can’t remember what the reason was. It’s probably her mum who started the argument as usual, for she has been ruthlessly training her day in and day out.

She's exhausted and she wants to leave.

Locking the door behind her, she marches to her closet and throws open the door, pulling out an empty suitcase and tossing it over the bed. She begins to pack her essentials as the doorknob is wrestled for a few moments or so, before a loud thud resonates from the door.

"Open this door!" mother yells, slamming a clenched fist against the surface.

"No!"

"Open this door right now!"

"No, go away!"

When she's finished packing, she zips the case up and lifts it off the bed; she unlocks the door, coming face to face with her irate mother who had been waiting impatiently outside.

“What do you think you are doing?”

“I’m leaving, mum.”

“But the pageant-“  

“That's your dream, not mine. I never wanted to participate in any pageants, you’ve just been forcing it onto me,” Flora snaps, brushing past her mother and towards the direction of the stairs.

“Flora, you can’t!” mum follows and grabs the suitcase, causing Flora to stop. “No, how could you? I’ve sacrificed too much for you to throw it all away! Don’t go."

"I'm sorry, mum, but I've had enough."

"Don’t, please don't.”

She pulls the case as hard as she can. “Mum, let go!”  

“Don’t leave me!”

“Let go!”

The two women struggle, pulling and tugging the case in various directions, grappling with it back and forth.

Flora’s mother cannot fathom this betrayal and treachery, by her own daughter nonetheless. She had spent all those years training and grooming her daughter to win, to be the best and most beautiful of all.

And now her daughter was going to leave?  

She knew about her boyfriend.

She had eavesdropped on the plans they had discussed, the dreams they shared.

They were planning to elope.

A vile taste rises in her mouth. She wanted to vomit from the treachery, the betrayal….from her own daughter, nonetheless.

If friends and the neighbours found out…how could she still show her face? Who knows how long she will be the talk of the town, the laughing stock? Hadn’t she been humiliated enough?

She had driven her own daughter away, just like she had driven her husband into the arms of another all those years ago!  The husband who left her with two children. One born when they were in love, and the other who caused the separation in the first place. That's when she lost the crown. She was too old. It was time to move on.

Never, she thinks to herself and at that moment in time, she knew she had to stop her daughter from leaving at any cost.

She grabs an object. Everything happened too quickly, she couldn't remember, but it was large and weighty and with strength she did not realise she could even possess, perhaps it was the spur of the moment and the adrenaline and anger rushing in her veins, she brings it down over her daughter's head.

And everything goes still.

Flora stumbles, dropping the case as she shakily lifts a hand to where she had struck.

Her trembling hand is soaked with blood.

Suddenly aware of what she had done, mother drops the object in shock. "FLORA!!! Oh my god, I'm so sorry-"

Disoriented, Flora winces and stumbles away clumsily, backing closer towards the stairs.

"Flora!"

"Don't....come...near me-"

She’s too late to stop Flora from falling; the heel of her foot completely misses the step; it happened so fast. Flora disappears down the staircase.  

The sounds of her body tumbling down the steps resonates throughout the entire house, accompanied with a curt scream which abruptly comes to an end as her body slams over the ground.

Her mother is still, eyes laden with sheer terror.

“…Flora?”

She rushes to the railing, peering over and promptly gasps at the sight, covering her mouth with her hands.

Flora's body lies on the ground, limbs splayed out, resembling some twisted puppet on strings. Her head twisted to one side, Flora’s eyes remain open yet robbed of life. A puddle of red begins to leak from her head.

She creeps down the steps, noticing that Flora hasn’t reacted, hasn’t moved when she calls her name, and she begins to weep as she crouches beside her daughter. Her face is ruined. How can she participate in the pageant now?

Before the light disappeared from her eyes and the darkness overtook, Flora was facing the living room of the house she had grew up in, where she had so many fond memories.

A pink glint reflected off her eyes; it was last thing she saw and it was her mother’s tiara, which was proudly displayed on the mantelpiece.

…

“Flora, what’s wrong?? Oh god, what’s wrong??”

Frankie cries out for her sister again and again, but she cannot elicit a successful response from the spirit as it hovers listlessly in the air.

“Frankie, stay back. Something’s wrong,” you utter as a dark miasma begins to emit from the spirit in shadowy wisps.

It gazes where her hands should be though they are transparent, and her fingertips are slowly dissolving into nothing.

That’s right. I’m dead.

It’s then she realizes she’s hurting all over and she’s seeing everything in a lopsided angle. Is it her neck?

It hurts.

A profound sense of dejection spreads throughout her chest, though it is comforting in many ways.

“Flora!” you yell, as the dark waves and wisps increase steadily around the spirit and begin to cocoon her; she is beginning to lose form. “Stop! Don’t give in!”

“What’s going on?!” Frankie cries out in confusion.

Flora closes her eyes as the darkness laps at her. A soothing voice beckons to her, telling her this is real. Her death was real and to embrace the truth.

My own mother.

Throwing her head back, the spirit's jaw enlarges as she proceeds to emits a pained scream as sharp and grating as nails on a chalkboard, and you and Frankie wince uncontrollably; her eyes sink in, her hair grows wild, elongating until they resemble tendrils which grow darker, more fierce, and Frankie flings her panicked glance back and forth between you and her sister; a cloud of darkness has swamped her entirely, coiling and twisting under the lights of the lab. The light does not penetrate this formless, sprawling mass.

“It’s too late,” says a quiet but gruff voice, and everyone glances to the source.

Ezra has risen from the sofa with Absol by his side.

He’s heading towards your group, his glazed eyes focused on the coiling shadow as he pulls out a thin, bronze dagger from the inner pocket of his coat.

“Wait!!!” Frankie yelps.

She runs up to him but he shoves her aside.

Ezra's wrist darts out and he tosses his dagger towards Flora’s direction.

The dagger hurtles seamlessly through the air and pierces the shadow. A strangled, ethereal shriek fills the lab before the spirit promptly explodes in a burst of black, its existence reduced to nothing but dark ashes that slowly float gently in the air before disintegrating into nothingness. The scream persists in its wake, echoing thoroughly before it fades away.

The dagger, having destroyed its target, lingers in mid-air for a second or so before it drops to the ground with a loud clatter.

The lab is bathed in silence as Jace and Sonia blink with wide disbelief whilst Volkner watches on impassively. Leon gives you a gentle squeeze on the arm as you hold him close. Frankie averts her limp gaze to you and Ezra.

“….What have you done?”

…

In Motostoke, Frankie’s mother is led out of her house in cuffs.

She’s escorted by two policemen and her expression is blank, empty of emotion. Is she remorseful that her daughter died, or resentful that she was caught? You cannot tell.

You stand a safe distance away, watching Frankie in the open doorway; she’s sobbing and shaking her head with disbelief. The sirens blare and wail and neighbours peer over the garden fence to get a closer look. Then she spots you and your mentor across the street under the streetlight, and her expression turns stormy.

She marches up to you and when she’s an arm length’s away, her eyes are ablaze with anger and hatred, reserved just for you.

“I hate you!” she hisses, “I wish I never met you!!! You ruined everything!! You’ve taken EVERYTHING away from me!!! I never want to see you again!!!”

Without another word, she spins on her heel and dashes towards the direction of her house, slamming the door shut in her wake.

Stricken with a numbness you’re all-too familiar with, you stand, immobile.

Some of the neighbours throw glances at you, wondering what had happened between you two to have warranted such a hostile encounter.

Footsteps approach you, and Ezra joins your side.

“…You okay, kid?” he mutters, breaking the monotony.

It takes a while for you to regain your composure, and you manage a meek shake your head.

“You did your best.”

“…But it’s never really enough, is it?”

“You tried...that’s what’s most important.”

Your body shudders as you exhale loudly, wiping the corner of your eyes which are growing wet. “Oh god. What the hell was I thinking? I-I couldn’t do anything after all.”

“Stop beating yourself up. You did everything you could.”

“Do you think she’ll be okay?”

“She’ll be fine, her anger will subside and she'll move on. Not sure about her mother though.” Ezra mutters; without further ado, he grabs his cane and begins tapping at the ground, disappearing from the lamplight and onto the path. “Come on, kid, let’s call it a day.”

You nod weakly, joining his side; you throw the house one last look from over your shoulder before you follow your mentor into the darkness.

…

Later, you receive a message from Graves; one of his subordinates saw and recognised you at the scene. He asks you what you were doing there and you tell him you were working on a case. He doesn't bother to berate you over text.

Though you're aware the police were investigating at the same time since you had met Frankie and when you had held the pageant, you ask for more information regarding the arrest and to your surprise, Graves informs you the autopsy revealed Flora had died in a different location (and not the Watchtower Ruins). She had suffered head trauma and was left to bleed. The injuries on her body were also post-mortem, designed to confuse and mislead but lo and behold, nothing can escape Lady Justice. Frankie's mother and her alibi didn't quite check out, and she had become the prime suspect.

It would only be a matter of time.

The truth has been revealed though your mood does not improve and when you return to the lab, you quietly clean up the whiteboard and stow away the remnants of the case into your files. Earlier, you had wiped off the makeup and gotten changed into your normal clothes.

Jace and Volkner assist with dismantling the setup; they silently take down the curtains, the lights and tidy away the carpet. They also help you return the tables and desks and chairs to their respective places before they take their leave for the remainder of the night.

Everything was a blur, but you briefly remember thanking them and they did ask if you were fine, and you assured them you were and that you wanted to be alone.

Sonia packs away her utensils but you don’t go home with her just yet. You thank her for her help tonight and she exits the lab with Yamper though she’s reluctant to leave you on your own.

That leaves Leon, and he enters the lab quietly, spotting you at the whiteboard and quickly taking down all the pins, strings and magnets.

“Hey…” he murmurs as he makes his way over and you turn round.

His arms are full; he's holding a massive bouquet of flowers, a lilac box tied all over with a white ribbon and a Sobble doll.

"Um, I got you these because I wanted to cheer you up...they ran out of Ghost pokemon dolls so I had to make do with Sobble," he utters as you gasp. "And the bouquet I got you last time was ruined so I got you a new one."

You're stunned he managed to curate all these in such a short span of time and an image of him running around from shop to shop flashes in your mind; it's enough to bring a smile to your lips and you chuckle. "Thank you, they're wonderful."

He grins bashfully as he presents you with the gifts which you carefully settle on the desk. The bouquet is far more extravagant than the previous one, filled with a multitude of brightly coloured flowers of all shapes and sizes and also looking very expensive and exotic. You quickly lean down and take a whiff; they smell wonderful as expected, and you lift up the box next for a good look. It's fancy chocolate.

Next, you pick up the Sobble doll. It is so cute and squishy, and you let it sit on the desk beside your books. Leon watches as you smile to yourself; just seeing you happy makes him happy.

"Thanks Leon," you murmur, stepping over to his side to swiftly kiss him on the cheek.

His face grows red, but he grins and before you can wander away, he takes your hand in his and gently squeezes your fingers. "...You're welcome."

"I'll take better care of the flowers this time," you reassure him and he nods; you return to the board, picking up where you left off and determined to finish up before the end of the night.

"Let me give you a hand."

"Thanks."

He grabs Flora’s photograph and pulls it off the board. You watch as he silently assists you, before you peel off Frankie’s photo and Hank’s mugshot. He continues to help you with the cleanup and when the board is clear, you grab your journal and the box of chocolates before heading for the last step of the staircase, plopping yourself down with the items balancing over your knees.

Leon joins you as expected, being mindful of his cape as he settles himself down. You have always enjoyed being close to Leon no matter what the occasion and this evening is no exception.

"Let's have a look," you say with a smile as you untie the ribbon as carefully as you can, lifting up the lid to reveal the chocolates are moulded into adorable shapes of ghost-pokemon ranging from Ghastly, Phantump, Pumpkaboo and Drifloon.

Leon watches your reaction; your eyes light up before you gesture him to take one. He chooses a Drifloon fudge and you pluck a Ghastly truffle before you both pop them into your mouths at the same time.

"Oh, it's good."

"I’m glad you like it. What should we try next?"

"Phantump caramel?"

"Yeah."

As you munch your way through your next chosen chocolate, you sigh.

"Are you okay?" Leon asks.

You shake your head.

"Come here," he replies, and you put the chocolates down to scoot closer to him; he invites you into his embrace, wrapping an arm around your shoulder whilst scooping your other hand with his. The warmth from his hands is comforting as he affectionately weaves your fingers together.

“I just wanted to help,” you murmur.

“I know.”

“Was that so wrong?”

“Of course not.”

“I wish I could be like you, Leon. I wish I could help people the way you do.”

“But you already do.”

“No, I don’t. You inspire people and actually make a difference to the world.”

“So do you,” he replies, chuckling. “I’m serious. You do make a difference, and in so many ways. You save people’s lives.”

You look up at him silently and he glances down, your eyes meeting.

“You saved me, remember? You saved the Champion of Galar. And you saved that guy called Tanner. Your heart was in the right place, and it always has been. Someone needed help and you answered their pleas; you wanted to help them in the way you knew how, which you did.”

Your cheeks go pink and he grins at you.

He lets go of your shoulder so he can gently clasp both hands over yours, bringing your entwined hands close to his chest before he leans down and brushes his lips over your knuckles. This display of affection makes you smile, and he presses another kiss over your hand.

“…She reminded me of myself when I was younger,” you utter, “and she also reminded me of Rosie. I even asked her if she wanted to learn. For a long time, it felt like I was swimming in a dark ocean all by myself where I couldn’t see anything or anyone but then she came along, and I wasn’t alone anymore. Someone else was swimming beside me the entire time.”

“You’re not alone,” Leon replies, “you have me. You have your pokemon, you have Ezra, Jace, Sonia, Inspector Graves, the professor. My mother and Hop, too.”

When he releases you, albeit slowly, his hands settle on your waist and you encircle your arms around his neck, resting your cheek against his shoulder. Leon emits a quiet sigh under his breath as he gathers you up in his sturdy arms and pulls you further into his embrace, holding you close to him.

As your mind begins to ease, your body relaxing, the journal finally slips off your knees and topples to the ground, your family photo sliding out in progress.

“I got it,” Leon murmurs, sliding his arm around your back as he bends down so he can scoop the items up quickly, and you chuckle as you cling onto him.

“Thanks,” you say with a grin as he hands you the journal and photo; you study your family’s smiling faces and your smile disappears. “…Leon?”

“Yes?”

“...I never told you what really happened to my family. I should have told you earlier. I’m sorry,” you say quietly, taking a deep breath. “I’ll tell you now.”

He nods.

“I’m from Kalos. We lived in Laverre Town. My family were haunted by an entity. In particular, Rosie.”

As you recount your past, explaining to Leon about Dusknoir, the incident in the basement, your mother’s disappearance and your time spent in hospital after your mental breakdown, you see Leon’s smile slowly vanishing from his face, his expression turning solemn.

And now you’re rather afraid yourself, for deep inside, you knew very well you cannot hide the truth from him and you were always terrified of what he will think of you once all the skeleton in the closet was dug out.

You cannot fathom what he might be thinking of. Maybe this will be it, this will be the final straw for him. He will decide you are a kook, once and for all and like many others, he will cease being around you. Maybe it’s too much emotional baggage to deal with and he will not want anything to do with you after all.

When you finish, Leon is very silent.

You ensured no detail was left out and now all you can do is wait for his response, albeit with incredible unease.

"So that's why you asked if I could help you find a Dusknoir," he murmurs, and you're surprised he remembered that considering it was such a long time ago.

Regardless, you nod. "I want to find out what happened to them, if they're still out there. I need to know what happened. Why Rosie, why them? Why me? Who did it...or, what did it...and why?"

Leon clamps his hand tightly over yours. "What happened isn't your fault. Don't blame yourself."

"But if I'd been stronger, if I'd paid more attention-"

"It's not your fault," he mutters, "I'll help you. Should we find a Dusknoir to get some answers? I know there are wild ones in Galar. Would that help?"

"...It might be dangerous."

He says, with a wide grin, "The Champion of Galar will do everything he can to protect you."

A huge smile worms its way over your face and you squeeze his hand tightly, "I appreciate it, Leon, but Ezra said it's nothing to do with the pokemon."

"Do you agree?"

You nod. "When Dusknoir took my family away, it was either possessed by the entity or it was receiving orders via the antenna on its head. And whatever that something is, it's from the spirit world, using Dusknoir to do its bidding. If I'm to stop it, I'll need to go in myself but even till now, I still have no clue what it might be or how to get there. I might get answers if I go into the spirit world myself but that would mean....well, I'd need to go through a Near Death Experience, or...I'll find a way to open a portal but that's completely unheard of, if not, impossible."

"You can't, that's too dangerous. Everything you've just told me is too dangerous."

"Yeah, I know. Too dangerous." you echo, nodding.

There's your dilemma, you realise.

"Any other plans?"

"....Well, Ezra said it will come for me one day. There's that."

As Leon speaks, it's then you recall that shadowy silhouette behind Charizard and Vulpix when you had watched the sunrise together.

“Hey, you okay?"

"Huh?" you snap out of your thoughts, blinking at him. "What? Sorry, did you say something?"

"Yeah, I was just asking what happened next? What happened after you moved to Galar?”

"Oh, right," you murmur, “Well….”

…

#jeralee #fanfic #fic #reader #reader insert #leon #leon x reader #Leon x you #dande #pokemon #pkmn #pokemonsword #pokemonshield #pokemonswordandshield #pokemonshieldsword #pokemonshieldandsword #archive of our own #Comfort in Despair #you

[ragingwave]

It feels like forever since she's had time to write things out on the wall calendar in her room, at least being able to get ahead before the start of a new month. This month seemed to have passed in just a blink...where in the world had the time even gone? ( and she refused to ask her Switch console that now logged over 400 hours in PokeCrossing )

She taps the top of a sparkly blue ink pin at her lips, deep in thought over the calendar's empty grid of June. Rocking up on her heels to reach, she excitedly circles the year's official summer solstice date. A little smile grows fast as her eyes bounce over the number of days until the time. For her, the first day of summer usually felt like a holiday than a universal shift in the region's season. Summer was the best part of the year. Swim, surf, and sand! Indulging in ice-cold treats, a drop of fashions hotter than the sun, and tons of fun! Maybe she could take that day off to celebrate herself for once.....Her pen tapped on the page as she considered it. ....When was the last time she called up Sonia to hit the beach?

But no, instead, she scribbles off words to remind her of another appointment. The same day would mark the start of the annual FloSols sale, and more than likely, she'd have some appearances to promote. The thought reminds her of a few more photo shoots, an interview here—oh! and there. There was a commercial to do somewhere in there...Sobble Sunday over here...Ah, the Summer @ballympics​​​ starts this month too! For sure, she had to visit as Ball Guy's self-proclaimed biggest fan. 

Soon enough, the entire calendar is sparkling with swirled times and side notes under the dates. There are more filled spaces than empty ones, but Nessa doesn't dwell on it for long. Busy is just how she likes things! (Right?) 

Finally, to finish off her planning, she leans in to give a specific date the neatest handwriting she could muster: June 11th — My Birthday! ~ ♥ 

She adds some stars around the words and a rushed doodle of a happy Sobble underneath. Recapping the pen, she looks over that date a minute longer than the rest. The replicas of her own FloatSoles would drop that day....but.....maybe she could do all the promotion work that needed early on and spend the rest of the day at the beach. Yeah! She and Sonia could have a beach day then! Invite some of her other close friends and their Pokemon! Maybe they could do a campfire outside or— 

then the phone rings...

#💙 | it’s the master of water types! ( IC ) #( status tag ) #//me: how about i write a SMALL post on how nessa's been!!! brain: ok time 2 ESSAY #//also me?? coming back to immediately make my doughter sad??? it's a mother's love B)

[frighthouseofalighthouse]

I'M GONNA DO IT TO EM' ALL ASKS THAT YOU REBLOG TONIGHT TILL 10 AM TOMORROW.... DO THEM!!!!

Hey, you had to do it to ‘em! Here they are starting with the most recent.

“Weird asks that say a lot”

1. coffee mugs, teacups, wine glasses, water bottles, or soda cans?

Coffee mugs because you can use them for everything. Teacups are too small for a proper cuppa.

2. chocolate bars or lollipops?

Chocolate bars always.

3. bubblegum or cotton candy?

Bubblegum, which I miss so much. I haven’t had it in over 2 years bc of my braces

4. how did your elementary school teachers describe you?

I didn’t go to public school but all the adults who dealt with me said I was sociable and tried to get everyone to do the group projects but no one listened so I ended up sitting alone reading and quietly doing the project.

5. do you prefer to drink soda from soda cans, soda bottles, plastic cups or glass cups?

Glass BOTTLES make it taste superior.

6. pastel, boho, tomboy, preppy, goth, grunge, formal or sportswear?

Pastel boho preppy goth best describes my style.

7. earbuds or headphones?

Earbuds, but only rubber tipped ones. The plastic ones never fit in my ears. Also headphones never cover my whole ear right. :/

8. movies or tv shows?

TV shows keep my attention span better.

9. favorite smell in the summer?

Brewing thunderstorms.

10. game you were best at in p.e.?

None. But trampoline if I had to pick.

11. what you have for breakfast on an average day?

Scrambled eggs, peanut butter toast, and some kind of fruit.

12. name of your favorite playlist?

My main one is Things You Love. My one for writing is Queen And Country, and my other two favorites are Summer Songs and A Queen Knows How To Fight A War.

13. lanyard or key ring?

Key ring, lanyards get in the way.

14. favorite non-chocolate candy?

Swedish Fish or Sour Patch Kids.

15. favorite book you read as a school assignment?

OH MAN. To Kill A Mockingbird, The Great Gatsby, Fahrenheit 451, The Grapes Of Wrath, and The Handmaid’s Tale were definitely my top 5 in English class.

16. most comfortable position to sit in?

Curled up sideways in an armchair with my legs slung over the arm. Sitting normally sucks.

17. most frequently worn pair of shoes?

Either pair of my black boots, or my pink floral Skechers that I wear to work.

18. ideal weather?

60 degrees, cloudy, windy, with a chance of rain.

19. sleeping position?

On my right side, arms around a fluffy pillow, one leg out straight and the other drawn up with my knee to my chest.

20. preferred place to write (i.e., in a note book, on your laptop, sketchpad, post-it notes, etc.)?

Laptop. I’m trying to exercise my hand and wrist so I don’t tire as quick of notebook writing, though.

21. obsession from childhood?

History, Nancy Drew books, Harry Potter, and ghost stories.

22. role model?

The person I am but don’t think I am.

23. strange habits?

Pulling my shirt collar up over my nose and mouth/putting it in my mouth and chewing on it.

24. favorite crystal?

Amethyst, my birthstone! Close second is blue goldstone. (Have you ever seen it? It looks like the universe. I have a worrystone made of blue goldstone and it’s one of my prized possessions.)

25. first song you remember hearing?

Something from church probably. Outside of church probably one of these: If I Had A Hammer // Peter, Paul and Mary, Puff The Magic Dragon // Peter, Paul and Mary, Scarborough Fair // Simon & Garfunkel, The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald // Gordon Lightfoot.

26. favorite activity to do in warm weather?

Sit in the shade.

27. favorite activity to do in cold weather?

Drink tea, read, and play either Pokemon or Nancy Drew and the Clue Benders Society on my 3DS.

28. five songs to describe you?

The Pines // Roses & Revolutions, I Am Here // Pink, Walk Me Home // Pink, Call Home // Heathers (not the musical), Traveler’s Song // Aviators

29. best way to bond with you?

Talk to me about history, crime, musicals, books, or tv shows

30. places that you find sacred?

Natural swamps. Libraries. Old, overgrown gardens. Anywhere historic. Pine forests at dusk. Anywhere under a clear night sky.

31. what outfit do you wear to kick ass and take names?

A plaid shirt, black leggings, and black boots with dark neutral lipstick and a black choker.

32. top five favorite vines?

Fre she vocado, BENTLEY NOOOOO, uhhh I sure hope it does, the one of Lin Manuel-Miranda trying to brainstorm, and this bitch empty YEEt

33. most used phrase in your phone?

Idk how to find this out

34. advertisements you have stuck in your head?

Idk if this is just a local thing here but WOW ITS NATURESTONE

35. average time you fall asleep?

12-1 nowadays.

36. what is the first meme you remember ever seeing?

I can haz cheezburger

37. suitcase or duffel bag?

Depends. Suitcase for things like my laptop that are better protected than in a duffel bag, but duffel bag otherwise because they’re easier to carry.

38. lemonade or tea?

TEAAAAA

39. lemon cake or lemon meringue pie?

Both please

40. weirdest thing to ever happen at your school?

My house? We had a safe word when we did math. It was “quokka.” If we got overwhelmed we’d say it and then stop and look at pictures of quokkas.

41. last person you texted?

My friend and coworker.

42. jacket pockets or pants pockets?

Jacket pockets.

43. hoodie, leather jacket, cardigan, jean jacket or bomber jacket?

Cardigan or hoodie

44. favorite scent for soap?

Lavender

45. which genre: sci-fi, fantasy or superhero?

Fantasy. It takes me a bit to get into fantasy books usually, but sci-fi is hard to follow and superhero is mostly predictable.

46. most comfortable outfit to sleep in?

Fuzzy pants and a t shirt

47. favorite type of cheese?

Muenster, parmesan, or goat cheese

48. if you were a fruit, what kind would you be?

Raspberry

49. what saying or quote do you live by?

“I have no country to fight for. My country is the earth, and I am a citizen of this world.” - Eugene V. Debs

50. what made you laugh the hardest you ever have?

A weird local political ad a couple years back.

51. current stresses?

My recent breakup, an overnight shift I work on Wednesday night, and trying to find time to go out to a corn maze with my friend.

52. favorite font?

Baskerville or Georgia.

53. what is the current state of your hands?

Covered in small cuts and scrapes from work, nails picked short, black nail polish mostly peeled off.

54. what did you learn from your first job?

babysitting job: Kids suck never have more than one. Retail job: being on your fee it hardddd

55. favorite fairy tale?

Beauty and the Beast or Rapunzel

56. favorite tradition?

Looking at Halloween decorations

57. the three biggest struggles you’ve overcome?

Cutting, being manipulated by my dad, and letting other people make me believe I wasn’t good enough (still working on that one)

58. four talents you’re proud of having?

Writing, puzzle-solving, singing, and calligraphy

59. if you were a video game character, what would your catchphrase be?

“Oh shit waddup”

60. if you were a character in an anime, what kind of anime would you want it to be?

One of those preppy gothic private school animes with a dark secret lurking around the corner

61. favorite line you heard from a book/movie/tv show/etc.?

Book: “Ignoring isn’t the same as ignorance. You have to work at it.” - The Handmaid’s Tale. Movie: “It’s not about deserve. It’s about what you believe. And I believe in love.” - Wonder Woman. TV Show: “I am the Bad Wolf. I create myself.” - Doctor Who.

62. seven characters you relate to?

Hermione Granger, Luna Lovegood, Remus Lupin, Richard Gansey III, Blue Sargent, Dean Winchester, Charlie Bradbury.

63. five songs that would play in your club?

Same five that I said describe me.

64. favorite website from your childhood?

Webkinz and the old American Girl site circa 2009.

65. any permanent scars?

One down my chest from heart surgery as a baby, lots from self harm on my arms/legs, some on my left knee from falling as a kid, and one on the back of my right heel from being pecked by a goose at the fair when I was 11.

66. favorite flower(s)?

Sunflowers, roses, and dahlias.

67. good luck charms?

Myself.

68. worst flavor of any food or drink you’ve ever tried?

Ranch anything.

69. a fun fact that you don’t know how you learned?

Jellyfish have no brains and no heart.

70. left or right handed?

I’m third generation left handed!

71. least favorite pattern?

Vertical stripes.

72. worst subject?

Math.

73. favorite weird flavor combo?

Wendy’s fries and chocolate frosty.

74. at what pain level out of ten (1 through 10) do you have to be at before you take an advil or ibuprofen?

7. Usually I just ignore it because I have a “high pain tolerance” (which means I like to put myself through minor pains because I think I deserve it)

75. when did you lose your first tooth?

Age 5. I was trying to blow up an inflatable ball and it came out.

76. what’s your favorite potato food (i.e. tater tots, baked potatoes, fries, chips, etc.)?

ALL POTATOES EXCEPT POTATO SALAD

77. best plant to grow on a windowsill?

Violets.

78. coffee from a gas station or sushi from a grocery store?

Neither, both suck equally.

79. which looks better, your school id photo or your driver’s license photo?

Never had a school id so I guess the license

80. earth tones or jewel tones?

Earth tones for me

81. fireflies or lightning bugs?

...They are literally the same thing

82. pc or console?

PC

83. writing or drawing?

Writing. I absolutely cannot draw.

84. podcasts or talk radio?

Podcasts, talk radio is so obnoxious.

84. barbie or polly pocket?

Barbie. The clothes are easier to take on and off. I used to accidentally rip polly pocket clothes all the time.

85. fairy tales or mythology?

Mythology. I like it because it explains things, it’s creation stories, its origins. Fairy tales are just fantasies or cautionary tales.

86. cookies or cupcakes?

Cookies.

87. your greatest fear?

Rejection, drowning, and clowns.

88. your greatest wish?

To be a semi-successful author and historian.

89. who would you put before everyone else?

My mom.

90. luckiest mistake?

Not succeeding in killing myself!

91. boxes or bags?

Bags.

92. lamps, overhead lights, sunlight or fairy lights?

Dim lamps if they have yellow bulbs. I hate white lights. And also fairy lights yes please.

93. nicknames?

Ellie, Ell, Little Lion, Lioness.

94. favorite season?

FALLLLL

95. favorite app on your phone?

Tumblr, Spotify, or Instagram.

96. desktop background?

97. how many phone numbers do you have memorized?

6.

98. favorite historical era?

Revolutionary War-era America or late Victorian England.

THIS GOT REALLY LONG AND I DONT WANNA HIT THE TEXT BLOCK LIMIT SO IMMA DO ALL THE HALLOWEEN ONES SEPARATELY, MAYBE IN THE MORNING.

#a series of essays anonymously published

[xaapancakecakes]

End of the Year Tag

I got tagged by @saijspellhart​. It’s been SO LONG since I did something like this, I’m so happy and excited.

~favourite food?~ White rice + vegetables (or egg) are my daily meals. I LOVE Japanese food (salmon sashimi, miso soup, yakisoba and ramen) Korean (Korean BBQ, kimchi, bulgogi and bibimbap) and mexican (tacos, shrimps in aguachile and ceviche).

~favourite drink?~ Coffee, tea (green, jasmine, ginger), red wine and Vodka. Wow, I sound like an old lady.

~favourite clothing?~ FORMAL CLOTHING. I LOVE to use formal clothing with nice heels, good make up and flat hair. No jewelry. AND I also love pink clothes with sparkles and ponies. I’m like super childish or super formal, not in between.

~favourite product?~ THE SWITCH IS AMAZING. I love Nintendo so much. And I LOVE my cellphone. I’m always taking photos and videos, when I’m sad I look at my gallery and feel better.

~favourite month?~ OCTOBER. Pumpkin spice season, daylight saving, cold weather, COLD WEATHER FORMAL CLOTHING, scarfs, Halloween themed EVERYTHING, dead leafs smell. ORANGE LEAFS ON TREES.

~favourite season?~ Fall!! Everything about this season is amazing.

~favourite holiday?~ I don’t have a favorite holiday... but I’m always grateful for being able to visit my family on Christmas.

~favourite place?~ This is going to sound SUPER CHEESY, but my favorite place is “anywhere as long as I’m with A”. I feel relaxed when he’s around. My favorite place this year was him, me, his car, our music, coffee and Pokemon Go.

~best experience?~ This year?? All the support I got from people. In general? New Zealand. It was my first big road trip with friends, I was super depressed and they made me go against my will. I’m not even kidding, having the opportunity to go out of my room, spend time with friends, walk like 10+ km daily and seeing different places, taking tons of photos and videos helped me a lot. It didn’t cure my depression but it was the first time in years I wanted to keep living.

~best song?~ My favorite song ever is Your Guardian Angel by The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus and Closer by The Chainsmokers. Your call by SecondHand Serenade, Iris by the Goo Goo dolls, Take my hand by Simple Plan, Replay by Iyaz, The salt water room by Owl city and Shelter by Madeon will always have a special place in my heart.

~best movie?~ I watched a lot of movies this year and I have bad memory, but A Star is Born made me cry a lot. Bohemian Rhapsody, Roma and Cold War were beautifully done as well.

~best series?~ I watched (and liked) Maniac, TrollHunters, Aggretsuko, Star vs the forces of evil, Voltron, The Dragon Prince, She-Ra, The Hollow, and kept watching Steven Universe and Miraculous Ladybug.

~best book?~ I re-read After Dark and The wind up bird chronicle from Haruki Murakami. I also re-read my FAVORITE fic of all times, Lucky Us by PrincessKitty1

~best videogame?~ NIER AUTOMATA BROKE MY HEART. I’m enjoying Zelda BotW, it is my first Zelda game and IT IS PERFECT. I’m loving Smash Ultimate and Pokemon Let’s Go. And OH MY, THIS YEAR I PLAYED FIRE EMBLEM AWAKENING AND I LOVE IT.  And I HAVE to mention my phone games: Fire Emblem Heroes, Pokemon Go and Mystic messenger. I started playing Dragalia and Disney heroes but I still don’t know if I like them.

~have you unlearned any bad habits?~ YES.

~biggest disappointment?~ :,c

~worst experience?~ ;c

~any new hobbies?~ Run, writing and my food blog :D

~did you achieve your goals for 2018?~ I didn’t have any goals for this year.

~have you fulfilled a long-term wish?~ Yes.

~have you tried something new this year?~ I tried A LOT of things this year. I tried to be vegan, I did it for 3 months. I tried writing and drawing again, learnt a lot more about cooking and housekeeping, started running, stopped biting my nails and started to have ‘self-care Wednesdays’. Binge watched series, started playing the piano and violin, edited rl videos, started eating healthier, took tons of freelance, food blog, and much, much more.

~what plans or wishes do you have for next year?~ I want to find a good job and have a healthier relationship with myself and my family. I’d love to keep drawing and keep playing the piano+violin, and maybe keep studying Japanese and French. I’d also LOVE to go back to school, but with my own efforts.

~what was the funniest moment?~ Can’t remember, but I’m sure it happened in my former job.

~what are you thankful for?~ I’m thankful for my family, friends and everyone’s support. Because I’m healthy and I have a place to live.

I’m not going to tag anyone, but you can do it and tag me if you want to try it :D

#text post #about me

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #168

“i’ve wished for this, i’ve bitched at that, i’ve left behind this little fact: you cannot kill what you did not create.”

Which internet browser do you use? Chrome. Have you ever lived on a university campus? Nope. When was the last time you saw a photo of your ex? *The* ex, when I was going through old photos on my Mom's FB looking for something. Do you play any games on your phone? DragonVale and Pokemon GO. Have you ever shaved your face? Only above my lip every now and then to avoid that dreaded lady-stache. :') What color is your front door? White. What was the last vaccination you got? Couldn't tell ya. When was the last time you were at a party? A year ago. Did you ever get called horrible names like whore, skank, or bitch? The only two I can think of are bitch and martyr. Who’s your favorite rapper? And your favorite song by this favorite rapper? Eminem, "Love The Way You Lie" or "Space Bound." How about your favorite band? And your favorite song by this band? Gah you know the story, I'll just do Ozzy for this one. Hard to say. "See You On The Other Side" probably wins, but "Mama I'm Comin' Home" is on its heels. Has anyone ever made a promise to you that they’d change? Who? Juan, probably. What’s your television addiction? I don't watch TV of my own volition, but I'd be happy to watch The Good Doctor. Have you ever had any painful dental work done? If so, what? Nothing worse than just getting braces tightened. Is there anyone you’d like to apologize to? Dad again to his face about how wicked I was to him and am so thankful he forgave me. I just haven't because I want that in the past and I'd probably break down anyway. What was the last song you listened to that made you cry? Idk. Could you go a month without talking to your best friend? That's my gf, no, I'd lose my mind. Can you make yourself sneeze? No. Is there something that you haven’t told anyone that you actually would like to tell someone? Meh... I think it's better I don't. How has your style changed since you were in high school? Not really. What was the last new drink you discovered that was delicious? Dunno. What’s the most Lisa Frank-worthy article of clothing you own? Nothing, really. What color is the rim around your full-length mirror? Black. What is your favorite way your hair has ever looked? How it is now. What are five things you are good at? Interacting with animals, being there for people, writing I'd like to think, being a great beast mastery hunter in WoW like 1v1 me bro, and uhhhh panicking over the most minute things. What are five things you are bad at? COMMUNICATING, initiating conversation, arguing w/o crying, understanding finances/economics, and math. Do you enjoy drawing at all? I do, but I rarely do it because I'm way too critical and get annoyed. And fixing mistakes cleanly can be hard. I want a drawing tablet one day hopefully in the near future, because I feel like I'd be more motivated to do it.  Quickly fix errors. What was the last thing you were frustrated with yourself about? Oh boy, idk. This is so common. Do you have unusual sleeping/waking hours? No. In your personal opinion, which hair color is the most beautiful? Probably blonde with some darker highlights I guess, if we're talking about natural colors. Actually, for girls, maybe red. How about eyes? Sapphire. Last sporting event you watched? Dance recital. Have you ever had a teacher that also taught your parents? No. Are you skilled when it comes to working in the kitchen? HA no. Do you listen to music while driving? It has to be quiet or I can't concentrate. What’s your favorite style of jeans? (Skinny, boot cut, flare, etc) Skinny. Are you deathly allergic to anything? No. Who was the last person you had sex with? Or are you a virgin? Jason. Are you Italian? No. Would you ever go vegan? There's no way I could survive. Where’s the nearest GameStop near you? Like... 10-15 minutes? Have you had an argument with anyone recently and if so, do you still have issues with that person? Sara, but only because I said something stupid. No, I have zero issues with her. Who was the last person that asked to hang out with you and what’s the story of how you met that person? Colleen, girl scouts. Is there something you generally always ask for help with? Cleaning the animals' cages. Don't have anything to put them in so I hold them while Mom cleans it. Unfair to her, I know, but I can't do both and Mom doesn't seem to mind, plus she wouldn't hold any of them. Do you own a pocketknife, or any other kind of multi-tool? No. What was the last thing you took a video of? Teddy being a goof. Have you ever been somewhere where you didn’t fluently speak the local language? No. What is your least favorite kind of weather? Hot and humid like fuck off. Describe the 'look’ you did the last time you wore makeup. Uhhh mildly winged liner, black eyeshadow, black lips. If you got pregnant the 1st time you had sex, how old would the kid be now? I don't remember when it was 'cuz I've said before I didn't really. Realize it was sex until literally this year when I looked back on it. But anyway, six-ish. Have you ever polished and waxed your car? N/A As a kid, did you have any friends with parents who yelled a lot? Don't think so. What’s the biggest risk you’ve ever taken? ODing. Have you ever lived in a small community where everyone knew each other? No. What are some of your least favorite foods? BEANS, mushrooms, asparagus, brussel sprouts, cherries, nuts, etc. etc. etc. I'm picky as hell. Do you give your pets gifts and treats for their birthday/adoption day? Only Teddy 'cuz I actually know his rip. Has anyone ever set you up on a blind date? If so, how did it go? No. Do you believe your ex cares about you? The only ex I feel /sincerely/ does is Girt. What is the strangest type of candy you have eaten? Idk. What would be your most ideal profession? Meerkat biologist. What kind of rides do you enjoy the most at amusement parks? Kinds that don't make me fear vomiting. What is a topic you definitely don’t want to talk about with anyone? Weight. Where do you carry the things you need with you when leaving the house? Pocketbook. What’s the last thing you made with your hands? Uhhhh a drawing? Have you ever been physically or mentally abused? How did it affect you? No. Do you consider yourself a vengeful person? If so, why’d you think that is? Not in the least. Do you own any accessories with your name or initial on them? I have a "B" necklace somewhere from someone, but. Never wear it. Are you nervous/anxious, for any reason at all? Nah. For once. What was the last compliment you received from the opposite sex? Dad said I looked great when I got in the car to go to the theater. Have you ever been to an orchard? No. :c What are your plans for Halloween? I've no clue. :/ Do you plan on carving a pumpkin this year? Yeah. What’s your favorite Halloween movie? Hocus Pocus. What’s your favorite kind of apple? Red. Do you like to roast marshmallows? Yeah. If you have a job, who’s your closest friend at work? N/A When was the last time you stayed in a hotel? Where was it? Shit, not since a dance competition at the beach years ago. Have you ever gotten your nails done? Like twice because I was invited. Who was the last family member of yours that died? Idk. Who was your favorite president? Not educated enough on this. The last type of sandwich you made or ate: I believe ham, cheese, and mustard. The last time the weather was just the way you like it: Been a long time. The last time you apologized and the last time you received one: I dunno. I say "sorry" like obsessively, but a serious apology, idk. To me, either Mom or Sara. Do you have a smartphone or a dumb phone, or no phone? Smartphone. Do you own any tapestries, and if so, what’s on it/them? No. Have you ever made a collage for your bedroom wall? No. What types of churches do you find really boring? All of them. On what day is your local grocery store the busiest? I would guess the weekend? What day do you usually go grocery shopping? I don't, Mom does. She doesn't have a regular day. What devotional do you read, if any? None. What is your favorite color for cars? Burnt orange. Have you ever tried writing with the opposite hand? How good/bad was it? Yeah, not good. Do you prefer dark, brown or white chocolate? Milk/brown. Have you ever had a controlling boyfriend/girlfriend? No. Have you ever written a love letter to someone as a joke? That's fucking evil. No. How many true heart breaks have you had in your lifetime? One. Do you have any gay family members? Mom's cousin or something. Who was the last person to sleep over at your house? Sara. Would you ever get a boob job? I DON'T NEED ONE LIKE ONE OF THE THINGS I LOOK FORWARD TO MOST WITH LOSING WEIGHT IS NOT HAVING TRISHA PAYTAS TITS. Did your last relationship end because of you or the other person? Me. Have you ever tried to break up anyone because YOU liked the guy/girl? No. What would you think if you found out your ex was gay? My very first "boyfriend" I think actually is. I'd be stunned if Juan, Girt, and especially Jason came out, although Jason would make me fucking cackle. Boy could I say some shit about that. Would you ever take someone back if you found out they cheated on you? Nah son. Have you ever lied to your boyfriend/girlfriend? I've never told a serious lie, but I'm sure I've told like minuscule ones ("I'm fine," etc.) every now and again. Would you be upset if you caught your boyfriend looking at porn? Yup. Minority opinion, but. When was the last time you were on a city bus? Never. Do you have a garden? Does it have flowers, vegetables, or both? No. Have you ever burned an ant with a magnifying glass? No. Have you ever had an ant farm? Maybe? I had a lot of those little animal kit things as a kid, like frogs and butterflies. Have you ever had crabs, turtles, or lobsters? Hermit crabs. Briefly turtles. Has anyone ever told you you’re too young for something? No, I think? Maybe. What about for someone? No. How many times have you changed a diaper in your life? Literally once when it wasn't even dirty???? Why did I do that??????????? Has a younger person ever confided in you as an adult? Yeah. Have you ever felt responsible for someone’s death? No. Who knows your biggest secret and why did you tell them? No one. What’s your best memory with your ex? Aaron: group skating rink date. Juan: I'm not sure, probably making him play a Just Dance game with me lmao. Jason: That's like impossible to say with how long we were together. But a time that will always stand out for me is when we were playfighting, I came storming into the kitchen, big time slipped in the middle of "yelling," and he caught me and we laughed for like a full minute. Tyler: Nothing, really. Girt: He was reading a memento in Amnesia: A Machine For Pigs, and I'll say the writing is very unique, and he got to one sentence he read in THE most incredulous voice, and I spat my drink e v e r y w h e r e. I deadass laughed/cried for like ten minutes and still had outbursts afterwards. It was one of those "you had to be there" things. The last time you felt insulted/offended: Dunno. The last time you held a baby: Over a month ago when I had to hold Keegan for whatever reason. The last form you filled out: Something for my new doctor. The last video game you played: So here's a super weird fact about me; as a kid, I loved hunting games, all the while even then hating hunting for sport irl. Not a clue clue why. I recently got more "back" into gaming and I'm working on beating Dangerous Hunts again. What is your favorite type of cat? Persians. What religion were you raised in? Are you still that religion, if you had one? Roman Catholicism, and no. What religion/spiritual path intrigues you the most, if any? Wiccan and Buddhism. What heritage does your last name imply? Scottish. Recently, what artists/bands have you been listening to a lot? Powerwolf, Mother Mother. Do you know any HTML coding? No. Has anyone ever called you rich? HA as if. What makes you feel beautiful? lol How many bathrooms are in your house? One. Last time you were on a plane and where did you go? March, Illinois. Hopping on one again tomorrow!! Are you considered a very sensitive person? Probably by those who know me well. I know I am. Have you ever told someone you never wanted to speak to them again? Dad, yeah. What is the worst name anyone has ever called you? Being called a martyr still hurts, and that was like two years ago. When was the last time you cried out loud in front of someone? Mom around a week ago or something. Have you ever been questioned by the police? No. Have you ever had to be put on medicine for a mental disorder? Yeah. What do you normally drink when eating at a restaurant? Mtn. Dew if Pepsi products, otherwise Coke. Have you ever been in a car accident? One. Are you currently in a happy relationship? YEAH!!!! Do you normally have nightmares or good dreams? Neither. Just weird. What if a friend asked you to go with her to get an abortion? OH WOW I AM *NOT* THE PERSON TO ASK. I really don't know. I've made my opinion on the subject pretty clear, and if the abortion wasn't for your own mental and/or physical health and rather you just not wanting to face the consequences of your actions, idk if I could go. Have you ever had a deep conversation with someone who was high on anything? No. Are you experiencing problems within a current friendship? No. Ever made yourself throw up? No, I fear vomiting too much to ever. Who of the opposite sex has seen you at your worst? Jason. When at a fast food place, do you usually order a small, medium, or large drink? Medium. Do you dip your pretzels in anything? No. When was the last time you started a new medication? Recently for knee pain. What is your favorite type of nut? None. Where did you eat the best pizza you’ve ever eaten in your life? Literally Domino's lmao. Do you know what year your parents married? No. Do you know anyone who was adopted? Yeah. Do you prefer loose leaf tea or teabags? You know my opinion on tea. What is your favorite place to get Chinese food? I dunno the name of the place Mom goes. Do you part your hair to the side? It's parted far to the left. Is winter your least favorite season? No, it's my second-favorite! Do you know someone who’s a stripper? No. Are you sitting in a spinning chair? No, I'm in bed. When’s the next time you’ll go to a haunted house? I've never been to a "real" one but would LOVE to. How old is too old to trick-or-treat? I really don't care. Honestly believe there's no magic age where it's no longer okay. I still would if not for societal expectations. Have you ever caught a firefly? Yes. Do you own any camouflage? No. What's the next really important thing you have to do? Get to my flight on time. Are you looking forward to anything? T O M O R R O W  A P P R O A C H E S How late is too late for coffee for you? I don't drink coffee. Have you ever written or considered writing a play? No. How about a novel? If so, could you give us the synopsis of the plot? Yeah, as a kid. It was about a family of meerkats of different "breeds" (dragon, fire, ice, etc.) plagued by their king's brother as well as the prince finding love. That's all I remember of it. Who is considered the "black sheep" of your family? Why? Lol me. I'm just pretty different from like everyone with "problematic" traits. What's a color you hate? Puke green. What's an odor you hate? Old garbage. What's a sound you hate? Babies screaming omfg. What's something you'd never ever dare to ask another person? Hmmm. Probably if they've ever been raped or molested. What's something you've always wanted to ask someone but haven't dared? OKAY. So I coulda sworn one of my best high school friends was pregnant in middle school, before I talked to her at all. Then I believe I saw her with her baby once when we were in the gym for something. When we became friends, she never spoke of having a child and most certainly didn't look a bit like she'd had a baby. I never wanted to ask because you know the stigma of teen pregnancy. What is a song you cannot stand? Any country song where the singer has that godawful southern-as-hell twang. What's the worst/best thing you've done without your parents knowing? *shrugs* If you wear earrings, what does your favorite pair look like? Idk, I haven't looked at my earrings in a long time. Have you ever won any money from a scratch card? Like a dollar or so on the rare occasion my parents bought one. How about a slot machine? No. Do you like playing bingo? Sure. What's been the best thing you've found at a flea market? I love this little dragon figure I have. Oh, and my shipwreck lamp! Do you ever glance at people's butts? I'm a sucker for ass tbh okay. Like I'm not a dick that's gonna stare, but I'm guilty of glances, sure. What's something that catches your eye about other people? Their style. What's a random funny scene from a movie that has stuck with you? The first thing that came to my mind is from the Scooby movie where the girl introduces herself as Mary Jane and Shaggy goes, "That's, like, my favorite name" lmao. Oh, the things you miss as a kid. Are you one of those people who will not use a public washroom? I avoid it as much as possible. Have your parents ever disapproved of the person you're dating? No. What kind of things do you collect? Right now, just meerkat and Silent Hill stuff. YouTuber merch will happen when I can afford to buy it myself ha ha. Do you have a thing for body hair? No opinion. Not too into heavy back or chest hair, but still, don't really care. Is there anyone into you that you have no interest in? No clue if Girt still likes me, but if so, I don't reciprocate the feeling romantically. What's the longest you've slept for? Like 11 hours, maybe? Do your parents have a bad relationship with anyone? Not especially other than between each other. Were you raised by someone other than your parents? No. Do you prefer the color pink or blue? Pink. What's the last chore you did? Vacuumed. Have you ever had pet mice? Rats. What is your godmother's name? I don't think I have one. What's the last party you went to? A year ago at Summer's. Have you ever been to a jungle? No. What is your favorite jungle animal? Tigers! When did you first find yourself attracted to someone? I dunno. Elementary school. If you met a genie, what would you wish for? Financial stability, world peace, cure for Alzheimer's/dementia. Have you ever ran away from home? For like two hours or less. Is your father injured? No. He has a bad back, but. Would you be willing to die protecting your country? Like in the military or something? No. Have you ever dated someone from a different country? For less than a day. Are you part Native American? Not that I know of. What are your pets' names? Teddy, Bentley, Roman, Venus, Kaiju, and Mitsu. Do you like to go hunting? NONONONONONO. I'd have a hard time doing it even for survival. Have you ever worked two jobs? No. Who is the oldest sibling in your family? Katie. What are some of your happy thoughts? Being with Sara, imagining a positive future, remembering all I've endured and conquered, etc. etc. What's your favorite pattern for clothes? Plaid, I suppose? Do you ever wear fur? No. Who is the worst boss you've ever had? Why? N/A What are the names of the all the dogs you've ever owned? Trigger, Angel, Teddy, Dale, Delilah, Harley, Cali, and Bentley, I think. Where did you meet your current or last significant other? YouTube. When did you last ride a bike? Years ago. What did you last ask your parents permission for? Uhhh. I dunno. Oh, actually, I was thinking of spending a day with Dad, and I wanted to know if it would bother Mom. She said no, but I don't believe her. I didn't do it, though. Why were you in a waiting room the last time? Psychiatrist appointment yesterday. What's your lawyer's name? I don't have one. Do you own a lot of scarves? Do I even own any??? Would you ever get a face tattoo? No. What kind of car did you take your drivers test in? Haven't taken it. How much was the rent/mortgage at the cheapest place you’ve ever lived? I wouldn't know, I don't pay it. Who in life have you felt the strongest need to protect? Holy shit, Sara. What is the cruelest thing a person has ever said to you? Who even knows. What crime from history fascinates you most? No clue. Who do you think was the worst criminal in history? Maybe Saddam Hussein. Who has the weakest set of values in your family? Idk. What is the most disturbing sound you know of? Bones cracking. What's the shortest amount of time between orgasms you've ever experienced? N/A Which laws would you most like to change? Off the top of my head, we. Need. More. Gun. Fucking. Control. I'm not for a ban of firearms, but jfc, it's too easy to purchase a goddamn killing machine. What the oldest you'd like to live? 80, maybe? After that I can just imagine poor health that would really suck. Which sibling is or was favored most by your parents? I actually think it's me, tbh. Mom and I have an incredibly strong bond and have serious history, and Dad's and mine is very deep and definitely as a kid was the storybook father/daughter relationship, and now that we're reunited, I think we both cherish each other more. What's the biggest surprise you've ever had in bed? Waking up in the middle of the night to Jason groping my boobs. Who is the person you most wanted to have an affair with but didn't? I've never wanted that. Who have you most feared in your life? Dad. What would make you go insane the fastest? Losing Sara for the same reason as Jason. What was the quickest friendship you ever made? I'm not sure. What is your strongest reason for your opinion on abortion? I guess you have the right to be selfish if you're put at risk. You come first. What would you most like to hear from your father? He's proud of how far I've come. What one natural thing would you most like to see? Maybe a volcano erupt from a safe distance. What has been the single most important influence on your life? The breakup. What is the most worthy cause on earth? Seeing all life as equal and actually acting on that. Caring for one another. What would you most easily be driven to kill for? Sara's safety.

#survey #quiz #questions #random

[pokemonmagica]

Meet the characters! N

N is one of the main characters in Puella Magi Pokémon Magica. He’s very similar to the original version of N, but with some changes to fit the universe.

N’s power is the ability to solve conflict, which is very helpful whenever he explores new territory.

His main Pokemon is a Zorua, but he might gain control of one of the dragons later on in the story

BIO:

Age- 16 (start of story) 17 (after birthday

Wish- for his father to love him

Ability- solving conflict

Soul gem color- blue

Soul gem shape- shield, similarly to the Team Plasma symbol

Location- on chain attached to hat

Weapon- sword

N is very powerful due to feeling very strong emotions all the time. For a long time he preferred to fight alone, but after a while he realized he did better fighting alongside someone else. His biggest weakness is his PTSD, which is occasionally triggered when fighting a witch that reminds him of his past. When he gets a PTSD trigger, he completely freezes up and can’t do anything. This is when a partner comes in handy, as they’re able to take over when he gets this way.

Due to his frequent PTSD and anxiety attacks, his soul gem darkens very quickly so he needs lots of grief seeds. Over time he will learn that he doesn’t have to be afraid anymore, and the attacks will happen less frequently.

Outside of battle, he’s kind of shy but once you get to know him he won’t stop talking to you and just loves being close to you. He primarily shows affection via hugs. He just loves showing how much he loves people. He’s cold on the outside but super soft on the inside. He’s really kind and caring. That’s a reason why he gets along so well with Melanie, both of them are super friendly and just love everyone and everything.

He’s very mature, and takes his time to find a logical solution to problems.

BACKSTORY INFORMATION (TW child abuse)

Much like in the games, N was abused as a child by his father. Fed up with all of the pain, on his 13th birthday he wished for his father to love him. After this, his father became very kind and took really good care of N, and was very supportive of him after finding out he and his sisters had magical powers.

During the times he was being hurt, he frequently had suicidal thoughts and would cut himself occasionally out of stress. Over time he became numb to pain due to being hurt so much. You could hit him and he’d show no reaction whatsoever. He just didn’t care.

Scared on what N might do to himself, Anthea wished for N to never have suicidal thoughts again and after this N never intentionally hurt himself. There was one time N almost shattered his gem out of fear of turning into a witch, but he stopped because of his sister’s wish.

N has food anxiety and is constantly afraid it’s going to be taken from him, so whenever he’s eating something he tends to eat it very quickly and just stuff his face and won’t stop eating until his plate is empty. This is due to times he was denied food as a child for ‘misbehaving’. He frequently feels hungry even after eating a large meal.

ANATOMY NOTES:

-N is VERY tall, at 5’9 feet. Even though Melanie is pretty tall, he looks like a skyscraper next to her. Melanie is glad that when she’s magical she has high heels because she is closer to his height.

-N has a lot of scars, mostly on his arms. He has two deep scars on the palms of his hands from a time he stabbed himself wish a piece of a shattered vase. He wears long sleeves to hide his scars since he doesn’t want to worry anyone, but the scars on his hands are hard to hide. Sometimes he wears gloves. These don’t appear when transformed.

-He’s really underweight, being at least 20 pounds under the average weight for someone of his height. Despite eating a lot, he never seems to be able to gain weight and he’s like a pencil.

[arynladyofice]

“Extremely detailed character sheet template”

This is a WIP headcanon template, I didn’t want to keep it buried in my draft, so I decided to post, and simply continue to fill it whenever I can. So basically, as long as you see this note, I haven’t finished filling it. I will reblog it when I finish filling it, too!

Character Chart Character’s full name: Unknown. Reason or meaning of name: Full name means “Lady of Ice” but also “Ice Bringer” and it’s good to note “Aryn” is also a translated version of her real name. “Lady of Ice” was gained later on (as she became Lady) so at birth she was simply “Aryn” (”Aryn Ice Bringer”). Character’s nickname: Aryn; Lady of Ice. Reason for nickname: Translation of her full name. Birth date: Unknown, can’t remember the exact date. Physical appearance Age: 500, though has been existing for more than 5000. How old does he/she appear: Eearly 20s. Weight: ??? (not underweight, not overweight, and not close to any of those extreme, so average). Height: 170 cm/5″7′. Body build: Slender, fit, athletic. Shape of face: Oval (same shape as the first two pictures in profile). Eye color: Light Blue, can also be called Icy Blue. Glasses or contacts: None. Skin tone: Fair, almost pale. Distinguishing marks: None. Predominant features: Her eyes (genuine, caring, but can betray her many years), some also says beauty (but this is subjective). Hair color: Pale Blue (Illusioned to be pale blond sometimes). Type of hair: Long, Wavy. Hairstyle: Strands framing her face, some hairs falling down her chest while the rest fall down her back, rarely tie them. Voice: Soft, smooth, can seem to echo sometimes (full out echoes like crystal you tap in dragon form). Overall attractiveness: Attractive, exact level depending on the person. Physical disabilities: None, but being in place too hot will lower her abilities. Usual fashion of dress: Pants, button up shirts, boots, gloves. Favorite outfit: Light Blue riding pants, Light blue button up shirt, light blue gloves coming to her elbows, Light Blue boots coming to her knees with small heels. Often with a light blue or white neckerchief around her neck, wrapped loosely. Jewelry or accessories: Doesn’t have any left, though she does have one pair of earrings offered by a friend. She often wears them. Personality Good personality traits: Gentle, Kind, Compassionate, Protective, Helpfull, Self-sacrificing, Friendly, Always prefer peaceful ways when she can, Loves humor, Forgiving, Loyal. Bad personality traits: Reckless, Ferocious, Protective (can go very far), Unforgiving on some occasions, Unpredictable, Will do whatever she needs to when she has to. Sometimes has a quick temper. Mood character is most often in: Cheerful and curious about the world and people. Sense of humor: Sass, jokes, puns when she thinks of them. Loves all kind of humor. Character’s greatest joy in life: Meeting new people and discovering new places. Character’s greatest fear: Losing Merlin ( @wordlesswarlock ) or worse, being hated by him. Why? She cares for him more than anyone else, if she lost him, she would break. What single event would most throw this character’s life into complete turmoil? Merlin’s death (if it was just hate, she would either try to make amend, or keep protecting from afar, so in either case she would still have a life purpose). Character is most at ease when: Being with her friends (be it Pokemon, humans), especially her closest ones and/or those that know lots of her secrets. Most ill at ease when: Facing Chaos. Enraged when: Someone she cares about is hurt in any way. Depressed or sad when: She lets memories eat at her. Priorities: Protect her friends, follow the goal of her specie the best as she can. Life philosophy: In two parts, “There is so much to see, a neverending wideness, and yet all is unique” and “I will not be your ennemy unless you give me a reason to be”. If granted one wish, it would be: Her whole kin reviving. Including her mother. Why? She misses them a lot, and she can’t help wishing her specie was once more known. Character’s soft spot: Children, Innocent people, Pokemon. Is this soft spot obvious to others? Most likely, she visibly softens. Greatest strength: Her will and heart. Greatest vulnerability or weakness: Her heart. Biggest regret: Not having been able to protect Aska from dying. Minor regret: Killing in rage when she was younger (meaning between 20 and 50 years old). Biggest accomplishment: Fighting off Chaos herself during one of the big wars between Chaos and the Guardians. Minor accomplishment: Lots of things in her eyes, like protecting her friends, taking care of her Pokemon. Past failures he/she would be embarrassed to have people know about: The times she couldn’t protect, and the time she killed out of rage. Why? She doesn’t like to admit she wasn’t always able to protect people, and she still feels ashamed of letting her emotions get the better of her/ Character’s darkest secret: The few times she killed in cold blood. Does anyone else know? No, only Aska had known (and some of her specie), and nobody knows of the most recent (and only killing in cold blood she did after her kin’s death). A Cenred that went to war with a Camelot she had grown to like, the one world that allowed her to see Aska again, and she sought out Cenred after the war ended with his loss to kill him for the loss Camelot went through (including a few important people she had started to get to know and who were important to the Merlin and Artur of this world). Goals Drives and motivations: Her drive and motivation comes from all the places she knows to have not explored yet, and so all the friends she has yet to make. The knowledge she has friends already also motivate her. Immediate goals: Take care of her Pokemon, meet new people. Long term goals: Make sure Merlin lives as long as he can, protect Camelot as long as it feels right, hopefully make sure her friends have long and happy lives. How the character plans to accomplish these goals: Stay in contact with everyone, be there for them in any way, and won’t be afraid to use all the skills she has to make sure they’re all safe. How other characters will be affected: If she achieve her goals? Her friends would have a long life, happy if she’s able to make sure they have what makes them happy. But those that are ennemies, or well if we stay in the mindset of the goals, those that try to keep their friends from being happy (or worse, try to injure or kill them)... Well, either they’ll be too scared to try again, or they’re too injured. Or dead. Past Hometown: Er, Gaia? I haven’t thought of actual names of towns, Guardians live mostly in their own houses here and there, so there aren’t official towns. In short, Gaia is their only town... and their whole planet. Type of childhood: Started off happy, but it took a few years for Aryn to get over her mother’s death, so those years were... sad, as even though she had Aska and her father and some friends, she would always feel sad. It most likely forced her to grow fast, and she probably developped her desire to battle against Chaos as long as she could then. However, by the time she reached 20, she had recovered her joyful nature. Pets: No pets as a child. First memory: Waking up cuddled with Aska as babies. Most important childhood memory: Sadly, her mother’s death. Why: It marked her whole childhood, and forged parts of her personality. Childhood hero: Her dad and his counterpart! She would love to watch them fight or train others; and she hoped to become like him; charismatic, loved and powerful. Dream job: Well, being a Guardian, of course. Education: Gaia’s education, plus whatever she could learn in other worlds. It was mostly turned toward the balance of the worlds as well as magic, but to mix well with other worlds they did learn a few universal things, too. Gaia being a medieval-like world, they learned a lot about politics, tactics, fighting, riding, etiquettes, etc. Religion: Technically, none. And technically, a few worlds considered her specie as divinities that protected the balance. But ever since a child, Aryn has always believed all religions to have some truth in them. Finances:  Without any trouble on this side. I mean, Guardians kind of have the special ability to create the money used where they are through their magic. If Magic wants them to protect worlds, it would also give them some help, right? Present Current location: Spirit, mountains that actually form their own world and connects to other worlds (caves and mountains in any world can lead to Spirit, without people realizing). Currently living with: Her Pokemon. Pets: Not pets, but her Pokemon. Religion: None. Aryn does know enough to know all religions have roots, especially as she did meet gods in the past. Not all worlds might have gods, but for Aryn, all religions have truth in them. Occupation: Traveller, Guardian of Merlin. Finances: As said before, she can create the money needed, so no problem here. She does try to “participate” though, in the sense that she won’t hesitate to use the money she create (do note that it is real, not fake, and so the people she buy from are able to use it). She will even work sometimes, use the money on the same world. Family Mother: Light Guardian, name unknown. Relationship with her: Aryn loved her, and still does. She misses her a lot, and often wonders how it would have been, growing up with a mother too. Father: Thunder Guardian, name unknown. Relationship with him: Adored him, he raised her on his own and did a great job at it. His last actions were to save her, and she can’t forget that either. She was able to talk to him about anything, too. Siblings: None, though Aska could be considered family. Relationship with them: If we take Aska, they were the closest. Nobody was as close as him, and nobody can be. Their souls were two halves of the same, as all Guardians were. The only person she could talk to when it wasn’t her father was Aska. They never hide anything between them, and knew they could count on the other. HIs loss has been and always will be a constant hole in her heart and soul, even if she’s learned to live with it. She’s living for Aska, after all. Spouse: None in main verse, @myheart-ofgold in one of the ships. Relationship with him/her: With Gold, she feels young all over again and safe. She’s been able to tell him a bit about her, and she feels so joyful that he accepts her. She loves him dearly, and would to a lot to keep him safe. They seem to get along well too, both having similar natures, though Aryn has less... recklnessness. Most of the time. Children: None in main verse, none with Gold... yet *winks* Relationship with them: Nothing to say here. Other important family members: Merlin, I would say ( @wordlesswarlock ). She sees him as a brother, very close to what Aska had been to her. She isn’t replacing, as nobody could replace Aska; and even if he was alive, Merlin would still be the closest to her alongside Aska. Merlin is also her true Protégé (the one she bonded her soul with, but it extended to others Merlin because of the multiple worlds state and waking up without worry, causing her magic to latch on the first Merlin it could), and for them, their Proété-Guardian linked evolved into family love. Favorites Color: Light shades of blue. Least favorite color: Not really one, in all honesty. Music: With a good beat. Food: Meat and berries. Literature: Fantasy (she loves to check if one actually speaks of another world, without people knowing). Form of entertainment: Flying, running, swimming, dancing, training her Pokemon. Expressions: Smiles and laughs. Mode of transportation: Flying~ Most prized possession: Her cloak, a gift from Aska. Habits Hobbies: Walks into nature, reading. Plays a musical instrument? Not really, she likes a few, and started learning a few, but she always focused on things other than learning to play. Plays a sport? No, we cannot say she plays a sport. How he/she would spend a rainy day: Watching it from her house or flying into it. Spending habits: Gifts for others, food. Sometimes clothes. Smokes: No. Drinks: Sometimes, she does like alcohol from times to times. Other drugs: No. What does he/she do too much of? What does he/she do too little of? Extremely skilled at: Extremely unskilled at: Nervous tics: Usual body posture: Mannerisms: Peculiarities: Traits Optimist or pessimist? Optimist. Introvert or extrovert? Ambivert and depends on day. Daredevil or cautious? Generally cautious, but she can be reckless too. Logical or emotional? Middle ground here, a bit more emotional, but uses logic too. Disorderly and messy or methodical and neat? Leans more to neat and methodical, I’d say. Prefers working or relaxing? She doesn’t mind work, her life doesn’t demand her she works however, so she is found relaxing most often. She has no real preferences, she wouldn’t like being stuck working for on the long term, though. Confident or unsure of himself/herself? She is confident, she can be shy, but she is confident. Animal lover? Oh yes, you bet she loves animals. Self-perception How he/she feels about himself/herself: One word the character would use to describe self: One paragraph description of how the character would describe self: What does the character consider his/her best personality trait? What does the character consider his/her worst personality trait? What does the character consider his/her best physical characteristic? What does the character consider his/her worst physical characteristic? How does the character think others perceive him/her: What would the character most like to change about himself/herself: Relationships with others Opinion of other people in general: Does the character hide his/her true opinions and emotions from others? Person character most hates: Best friend(s): Love interest(s): Person character goes to for advice: Person character feels responsible for or takes care of: Person character feels shy or awkward around: Person character openly admires: Person character secretly admires: Most important person in character’s life before story starts: After story starts:

found here

#Headcanon

[ultraericthered]

Anime Update 15

CLANNAD - The first episode I watched seemed so unfocused and so unresolved by the end, so I went ahead and watched it’s follow-up; the one with the basketball game. And with both episodes I can officially say that Youhei Sunohara has been redeemed in my eyes. Like, goddammit - he was easily my least favorite at the start of the series (how limited in range his character material was and his unlikable, grating personality were big factors in addition to Greg Ayres being pretty try-hard in the role) but now I find myself really liking and enjoying him. He’s a case like Lars from Steven Universe or Sun from Pokemon Adventures; could barely stand him upon first meeting him, but grew to love and appreciate him over time. I also find myself liking Kyou more and more, as her bossy diva personality is quite endearing and it seems like she’s concealing a lot more than she lets on. Other highlights were how Okazaki’s ways of casually dicking around with his friends continue to amuse, Nagisa was more adorkable than usual here, and we got another bizarre, totally out of nowhere Fuko appearance that goes and quickly as a it came. 

Dragon Ball - Within just his two introductory scenes in this episode, General Blue establishes himself as a HUGE trade up from General White. He’s every bit as badass and formidable as Colonel Silver if not more so, and he’s got such a preening, flamboyant, narcissistic personality that makes him immensely entertaining as a villain. This was also a good episode for Bulma, despite it being labeled a bad day for her...though that kind of understates the severity of running into two Red Ribbon goons who are fully intent on raping her. Thankfully, Bulma proved capable in giving them the slip when they tried. In fact, my biggest quibble is that this didn’t keep up and it eventually turned into another “Goku takes out Mooks with ease” sequence - I feel Bulma using her own resourcefulness to take them out while Goku was none the wiser as he searched for the Dragon Ball would have been a more interesting angle. Missed opportunity.

Toradora - Fantastic episode overall, but there was a lot to unpack. - Taiga was delightfully batshit hilarious as she ran her candidacy for Student Council President like a tyrannical villain who needed to be stopped by Kitamura running. Classic Heel wrestler type shit there. - Kitamura apparently got beaten and bruised by his father when he finally came back home and revealed what he’d been going through. Is this a common occurrence? It’s never elaborated on again! - Sumire Kanou is literally the precursor to Satsuki Kiryuin. Seriously. - The most uncomfortable bit? The entire Kitamura/Kanou romance. I just DO NOT support this pairing and feel the writing made it seem completely unhealthy. What Kitamura did - confessing his love for Kanou in front of the entire student body and putting her on the spot by pouring his heart out to her right there on stage - was inexcusable and uncalled for behavior on his part. What Kanou did in response - play his feelings off as a big joke to be laughed off by everyone and pretty much gaslight him about their relationship to that point (he asked “Did you ever feel anything for me at all?” and she dodged the question completely, and in this case the lack of a “yes” pretty much signifies a “no”) - was inexcusable and uncalled for behavior on her part. And the rhetoric on both sides (”He’s so nice and he loves you, so you’re obligated to do so back!” from Kitamura’s friends and “I hurt him for his own good!” from Kanou herself) was troubling. So I ask: why should I want to root for these two to get together? - The Fight between Taiga and Kanou. Just...damn. The animation was on a whole ‘nother level from usual here, and the intensity of the girls’ slugfest really shows just how much Taiga holds back on others like Ryuji or Ami. Quite possibly the highest point of the whole series. - I think this is the first time we got a brief stinger scene playing before the next episode preview? So it all ends not with a whimper or a bang, but with Sumire Kanou laughing her ass off. XD - Finally, this is the last time we’ll be hearing Vanilla Salt as the ED Credits theme. The anime’s best days have left it, and we’re moving into territory that was...not adapted very well. Let’s see how it goes...

Excel Saga - The last episode of the Ropponmatsu trilogy goes the obvious route - pairing both Ropponmatsu girls up with Excel and Hyatt, who are essentially their evil counterparts. The most notable bit in the episode is when it pulled what was pretty much a rape joke with Ropponmatsu 2 and Excel...and somehow they made it work. Not actually showing what happened there probably helped make the joke not TOO distasteful, as you could imagine it was just glomping and mild molestation rather than actual rape, and Excel’s state following it actually suggests this to be the case. The other notable bit shows Nabeshin’s plot beginning to intersect with Pedro’s, which was a long time coming and guarantees some wild shit still to come.

Ace Attorney - Not much to say on this one other than it starts off the “Justice For All” arc in a particularly lazy way - Maya..,I’m sorry “Mystic Maya” is sent to prison for suspicion of murder AGAIN. Like, we’re really going there again? At least learning more about the Fey Clan was interesting, I like Maya’s little cousin Pearl already, Lotta Heart is still a really fun character, and the most intriguing detail was at the very end, with Edgeworth faking his own death and Franziska Von Karma stepping up to be Phoenix’s new courtroom nemesis. She’s sure to make things start to pick up!

Nadja of Tomorrow - How in blazes did we go from last week’s dreadful episode to THIS marvelous episode? Not only was this a very Thanksgiving episode what with the focus on the theme of family (the couple wanting to get to their daughter’s wedding, the ex-convict wanting to reunite with his family, the family dynamic within the Dandelion Troupe, and even a big feasting get-together between noble families at Duke Preminger’s in the B plot) but it felt almost season finale-worthy, especially with the highest stakes peril yet and the Dandelions’ theme song playing in the triumphant climax. The whole B plot with the Premingers was especially interesting and showcases how Duke Preminger is antithetical to the episode’s theme in what an awful, AWFUL family man he is - I have absolutely zero sympathy for Herman and feel he deserves everything he gets coming to him later in the series, but the cold, disdainful, unforgiving way in which his father treats him is still objectively wrong on all levels, and the man is even willing to keep the secret of his favored child’s daughter’s survival from said favored child because he values Nadja as his ace in the hole for having an heir to take over the family for him so that he doesn’t have to give that inheritance to Herman! Fuck the Preminger family. Colette and Nadja are way too good for it.

Mobile Fighter G Gundam - Oh man. I can imagine if I were watching this blind, without knowing what was coming, I’d feel a ton of anxiety watching this episode ‘cause I was waiting for when the shoe would drop and Master Asia would be outed as a servant of the Dark Gundam that I’d know he was. The reveal was crushing; he’s been behind everything that has plagued Shinjuku City since two episodes ago, and seeing all the DG Cell-infused corpses in capsules, all those people dead from the DG Cell Cultivation experiments, was like when we found out what Prince Lotor was doing to all those Alteans at the Other Colony in Voltron: Legendary Defender. And the note the episode ends on - that was REALLY hard to take. Domon already lost his father thanks to the Dark Gundam, and now he’s essentially lost a second father to the Dark Gundam. I felt so bad for him, but at the same time I had to marvel at just what an effective villain Master Asia is. He’s definitely moving this series into bolder, more intense and serious territory despite it (and he himself) still keeping the camp factor. And I definitely look forward to next time...

#Anime Update

[hedonisticadventures]

Answer all the questions

1. Favourite colour.Purple and green2. Number of people you’ve slept with.43. Cake or ice cream?Cake4. If you were a superhero what would your power be?Ability to control probabilities!5. Ever been in a fist fight?Yeah...6. Do you live in the country or the city?Country7. Biggest kink?I don’t even know... I still gotta figure out what it is8. Favourite video-game?Destiny (And soon D2)9. Words you live by?Fall down seven, stand up eight10. Best book you’ve ever read?Harry Potter series11. Favourite film?The Fifth Element12. Horror or romance?Both!13. Biggest fear?Being the failure everyone expects me to be14. Best memory?The nights with my best friend that start out with “What the fuck are we doing tonight?”15. Worst memory?Don’t wanna know... trust me...16. Where are you from?Tampa, Fl17. Ever done anal?Nope18. Would you prefer to be Mary Berry’s grandchild or Paul Hollywood’s bitch?Uhhhhhh?19. Favourite outfit?My khaki colored joggers and long black shirt with my beanie!20. Snapchat or Instagram?Both!21. If you could freeze time what would you do?Travel and not lose any time!22. Best LUSH product in your opinion?Various bath bombs!23. Should people wear red shirts or brown pants in your presence?Is this a Deadpool reference? Red Shirts24. Favourite television character?Jon Snow25. Do you have a nemesis?Yeah... money26. Are you a hard-worker?Of course!27. What’s the best holiday you’ve ever been on?Every Halloween is the best time of the year!28. What’s your dream?To have my family not worry about money... I grew up constantly under the threat of losing my house and living on the streets so I don’t want my loved ones to have to worry like that!29. Where do you see your life ending up?Traveling the world!30. Describe your last sexual encounter. I took my friend a graduation gift and we hung out and at the end of the night she goes "I’m horny... fuck me?” after making sure she was sure we fucked!31. Cake by the ocean or sex on the beach?Sex on the beach!32. Ever done drugs?Nope33. Harry Potter or Lord Of The Rings?HP!34. Are you a jock or a nerd?Nerd for sure!35. On a scale of 8 to 34.7, how gay are you?21ish36. Do you live for Tumblr discourse or hate it?Tumblr discourse?37. Favourite trashy television show?Big Brother... thats about the trashiest I watch and its not even trashy...38. Last time you watched porn?Right now39. Do you have a recurring sexual fantasy?Glory hole40. Weirdest dream you ever had?I was in a wasteland but I was king of that wasteland... I don’t even remember the details... 41. Ever had mental health issues?Yup!42. What’s the answer to the question you wish someone would ask you?Of course43. Do you wish people paid more attention to you?Depends on what aspect... like my YouTube channel? Fuck yeah I want more attention on there but in real life... I’m alright where I am44. Do you have anyone who you’d happily slap right across their chops?YES!45. Dog person or cat person?Dog but my cat is cute and gives kisses sooooo46. Sneakers or heels?Sneakers... easy!47. Favourite cocktail?My buddy is a bartender and keeps coming up with crazy shit so whatever he's making!48. Day or night?Night49. Pokémon or Digimon?Pokemon!50. How big is your dick?7.5in long... I’ve been told large if that means anything51. Favourite musical?All of a sudden every musical has disappeared from my memory52. Favourite song? “Middle Fingers” by Missio53. Are you secretly a goblin/alien/android?Yes54. Why are you like this? Because the culmination of my life until this point has influenced and affected my perception of reality55. What’s your guilty pleasure?Naps56. What would you say if I said ‘I love you’?Who are you, anon? I’ll tell you then! ;D57. What’s the story behind your URL? dance-to-this-beat called me it and I changed my name to it!58. Tell me something that worries you.America59. What have you been worrying about today?Whether I’m getting sunburnt or not...60. I’m only sending you these questions because I have a crush on you and I’m too tragic to actually just say it. Anon... are you sure you read through all of these before asking me?61. Hot dogs or burgers?Burgers62. Nintendo or the other trash-consoles?All of them!63. Which fandom ruined a show that you used to like?I don’t care about fandoms when it comes to me shows!64. What do you wish you could tell your best friend?I tell my best friend everything!65. Tell us a deep dark secret. Uhhhh... I don’t have secrets... ask me anything and I’ll tell you!66. Are you curious about having a man in leather spank your botty 'til it’s all red?Not at all67. Favourite Tumblr couple?Uhhh I don’t know...68. Do you have any dietary quirks?No fast food, I stay away from dairy, I don’t eat meat (for the most part) until dinner time... 69. Do you want to have someone pleasure your genitals orally while you do the same to theirs?Fuck yeah! 70. How old are you?2471. Which Buzzfeed listicle sums up your existence?I’m not going looking for a Buzzfeed article just to answer this hahaa72. Do you have any pets? 2 pups, 3 cats, and a dozen chickens!73. What colour underwear are you wearing?Red74. Boxers or briefs?Briefs75. Fuck me, Ray Bradbury?No76. Which television show do you want to last forever?Steven Universe77. In a zombie apocalypse how long would you last?Until someone decides to betray me78. Do you have good internet connection or do you want to punch your router every ten minutes?Both79. Would you find it somewhat saucy if I sent bawdy nudes in your direction?I would think thats fucking hot and appreciate each and every one I received individually!80. Which country has the best flag?Pirates... come on Jolly Roger81. Do you consider yourself *iconic*?Never82. Most overrated food?None!83. Most overrated film?I havent even seen many films lately...84. Most overrated television show?I don’t watch much tv outside my shows so I don’t know...85. Most overrated type of cheese?SHUT YOUR WHORE MOUTH CHEESE IS AMAZING86. Which brand would you never shop at?I ain’t about brands anyways... if theres a shirt I like I’ll buy it87. Wisdom, courage, or power?Wisdom88. Would you prefer to travel in time and stay in the same spot, or travel in space with time elapsing as normal?Travel in space and time elapses normally!89. What’s the best birthday present you ever got?The money90. What present do you wish someone would give you?Sex91. Do you have an ex? Why did you break up?I have six exes and various reasons91. Why does 91 appear on this list twice now?Just so you can ask this question92. Spare a thought for the humble creator of this list, it’s difficult to think of this many questions. Don’t put two question 91s93. Do you prefer anons or non-anons?I love all my asks! IF I ONLY HAD ANY94. Who do you wish you could have sex with more than any other?I ain’t even gonna answer this one... she might see it and that might be bad95. What is your spirit animal? Bear96. Do you have one word that you really love the sound of?Spiffy97. Do you still have any of your stuffed toys from when you were a kid?I cuddle up to a stuffed animal every night... come on haha98. What makes you super nostalgic?Old school cartoons!99. Give me an answer to a random one of these questions. (But don’t make it a shit answer like 'yes’. Don’t be an asshole.)HARRY POTTER!100. What’s your favourite cocktail?You mean the same question from question 41?101. Sonic screwdriver or Ron’s shit broken wand from the second Potter book?Sonic screwdriver... I want a wand more but still...102. Laptop or PC?PC by far!103. What’s the sexiest accent in your opinion?Give me any accent and I’ll fall in love104. Would you let Donald Trump tickle your nipples for an hour for £6,000,000?WHY WOULD’NT I?105. You should check out a great little British website called Pretty52. I smell advertising...106. If you could dye your hair any colour, what colour would you change to?Blue107. What would you change about your body if you could?My sinus problem108. Do you prefer to be hot or cold?Cold109. What’s your favourite way to orgasm?I just love to have orgasms...110. Are you a mermaid or a unicorn?Unicorn111. What’s the name of your favourite pet when you were a kid?George112. What was your favourite class at school?Math113. Are you superstitious? Very!114. What do you think happens when we die?Afterlife in heaven or hell115. Pie or pi?PIE116. Your followers a question.Proper grammar please?117. Lick my genitalia. I would love to if you have a pussy118. What’s your favourite number?42119. Do you ever look up at the stars and feel small?Not really120. Do you have a good relationship with your parents?Eh121. Tell me about a quirky personality trait. I’m way too honest122. What was your favourite story when you were younger?Harry Potter hahaha123. Are you old before your time or young at heart?Young at heart124. Why do you do the things you do? Please. Tell me.Because they make sense to me125. I hope you enjoyed these questions.I did!126. Which Tumblr blog would you recommend to all your fans?psychxtic-hearts