#been watching through it with my gf

[nico-robin-official]

okay yeah the back end of Zeta still fuckin sucks

#bluh bluh #been watching through it with my gf #Reccoa's arc is lame as all shit and Rosamia's entire existence is. idiotic. #also why the fuck are shinta and qum there #they should be like. dropped off at a space station. or thrown out the airlock idc

[songthursh]

Alright, I will start with this one then - everything starts with the glorious revolution and everything starts with the night watch 🌸

#discworld #terry pratchett #samuel vimes #havelock vetinari #vimes x vetinari #vetvimes #lord vetinari #glorious revolution #lilac #the night watch #night watch #Am I doing it right at all #AAAAA #I love this book I hate it so much #Blame my sweet gf for spoiling me with such amazing literature also #AND FOR MAKING ME GO THROUGH THESE BOOKS IT'S JUST... UGGGH #Also also it's not Carrot I swear he wasn't there also Vimes should've been armorless but I realized it a bit too late BUT THAT'S FINE #my art

[every-sanji]

#one piece #sanji #black leg sanji #everysanji #thriller bark #ch464 #i think. okay sorry for dragging this out over multiple panels but i do not care #but anyway i think. this scene and confrontation could have been a really good moment for sanji #to develop his motivation and characterization wrt nami specifically #rather than fueling the pervy side of his character it could have brought about a righteous justice #at someone he cares about being violated in this way by a stranger. you know. instead of implying he wants to be the one #doing the violating. truly one of the moments why i question why i like him #honestly any other option for this scene would have worked. #i know it ends up not going anywhere beyond more peeping tom jokes but godddddddd #on my hands and knees begging you to be normal oda.... #i have heard he's better in the opla but i havent seen it yet. #maybe i should watch it with my gf. what do we think gamers #she knows nothing about op should i make her. i'm sure i'll end up watching aeon flux or smth in exchange with her #<- ignore that i literally offered to watch it with her over new years but shit happened and it fell through

[starchildghost]

#lindsay horan #uswnt #nwsl #people trying to justify it like ‘fans are dumb everywhere’ #or ‘it was better in context’ #or ‘most Americans only watch the uswnt once every few years when the big tournaments are’ #like. sure #but a player. a captain. who’s meant to be an ambassador for the sport #and is meant to be captaining the uswnt through a pretty temultous time #should keep this shit to herself #(her carli lloyd number 10 bullshit is showing but we been knew) #and people who are saying go to any nwsl game and the stands will prove her right like #idk what experience you are cultivating for yourself but I have had a good time every time I’ve been at a Gotham game #last time I was there was Kriegs’s last home game and we were seated near families who were there with their little girls #who were players #and the dad or whatever to these children heard my gf and I talking about the games that were ongoing #and he and the little girl would ask us questions #like #perfectly pleasant people #grow the game do not fucking bash people who would otherwise be your fans #lindsey horan #just discovered I spelled her name wrong idc she a bitch

[k1rishiki]

oh yeah. the reason why i decided to reread tbhk (and thus it was able to hit me like a truck this time around) was actually not bc of mitsukou going canon but actually bc i maybe accidentally started a tbhk book club w my kids at work and wanted to check the contents of it justttt in case before i put the books in their hands

#tl;dr i have this one 4th grade boy who's a total weeb and knows that i'm the only one in this town who's more into japanese media than him #so he pesters me abt it every time he sees me. and the thing abt this kid is that he gets bored easily and if he does he turns into a #complete menace. now a couple weeks ago. he shows up at the program w one piece volume one and spends the entire time he's there peacefully #reading and not causing any problems on purpose. my coworker owen (the one who climbed onto the roof) and i were shocked and in awe of how #peaceful he was being and came to the conclusion that he NEEDS to have a manga volume in his hands at all times. few minutes later. #he finishes reading and isn't bored yet so he decides to go talk to me abt manga. specifically he starts pestering me abt what shonen i've #read despite the fact that i am a shoujo reader and told him that. but he knows i've read kuroshitsuji bc he previously asked me abt what #the worst anime i've ever watched is and i will never not take an excuse to drag the adaptation. and he figures that if i've read kuro i've #probably read more. and so i mention tbhk and he asks more abt it bc of the name involving toilets and him being a 4th grade boy so i give #brief overview and he wants to read it. and i come up with a scheme to make him peaceful AND to give him something to talk to me abt which #isn't 'i know you've read more shonen manga' 'let me gacha on your phone' or 'i saw an ad for rent a gf. thought it was lame. and now want #you to tell me how it sucks bc i assume you know everything abt every animanga ever' (<does unfortunately know too much abt rent a gf bc i' #a bit of a nosy bastard and watched the mother's basement video). so i offered to bring it in bc i own physicals of the whole series and of #as previously mentioned. gave it a quick reread in advance just in case. and got hit by it. hard. i love you tbhk almost as much as i love #when ppl get into things through me. honestly i think getting to live vicariously through him might be one of the main reasons it got me #this time around and not as much the first time (still loved it the first time though). flash forward a little while. one of the 3rd grade #girls is like. really into reading. and also macabre things. like ghosts. and she has two books from the school library. and has had the #same two books from the school library for over a week. she reads quickly and finished them both in under a day and is now bored out of her #mind rereading them. she asks to read the books i've been letting the other kid read. now there are two of them #romeo.txt

[roboraindrop]

Watching the Psych episode that has BD in it and MAN I have too much empathy for this episode ndjsjsk I've never watch Psych before- are all the episodes like this or am I just sensitive bc this episode is based around mental health?

#his character's name is Bernie and he's been struggling with mental health for a few years. #his girlfriend got killed and he got pinned for it. his lawyers were plwasing insanity. #Bernie was very clearly struggling greatly with his mental health and having delusions. they thought he was faking it. #so they went undercover only to discover that he WASN'T faking it. he was on antipsychotics and finally doing better though! #and then the guy who killed his gf payed a doctor to fuck up his medications and give him electro shock therapy to fuck with his memory #the big climactic fight had them purposely use one of Bernie's triggers so that he'd have a meltdown and that scene was so painful to watch #BD is such a damn good actor. when he melts down you FEEL it #at least i do fkdndkb #Anyways my heart aches for Bernie. i wish that he didnt have to go through that. #rain rambles

[booasaur]

See (2019) - 3x02

#seeedit #see apple tv #lieutenant wren #oloman #eden epstein #dayo okeniyi #see 3x02 #haniwa x wren #femslash related stuff #more and more wren's like I don't know why I'm not with my gf #I'm so surprised we've gotten this much wren so far #and even this convo where we're reminded of her connection to jerlamarel through haniwa #expecting a reunion next ep though maybe there'll be one more ep for her journey? #suddenly her arrival is rather important to confirm that baba's right #as for the rest of the so far... kofun is actually being kind of normal #so I'm assuming that shot in the trailer is indeed him and wren fighting together for paya #boo to bow lion's death #also dark-skinned black people keep getting killed off at a ridiculous rate D: #personal: I'm doing better now :) #been watching more and giffing a bit and might answer some asks

[theygender]

Yeah sure growing up abused may have left me with permanent scars on my psychological state that I'm still working to unpack, but on the bright side it gave me the ability to give a thoughtful in depth analysis of Roald Dahl's Matilda and all of its adaptations

#rambling #i love matilda so much. its such an important story to me. its literally just an abused childs power fantasy #where she gets to get back at the people who hurt her and protect other kids and then get a new loving family and everything is alright #my gf and i just watched the movie adaptation of the musical and we have Opinions on it. some good and some bad #so weve been discussing it and analyzing different parts of it #and its kinda nice to get to use my history for something good #to be able to give thoughtful analysis on how the changes they made in this adaptation have changed the allegory for abuse in the story #from the perspective of someone who grew up with that #and to just. have that be normal. my gf knows my history and its not gonna stop the conversation if i say #'this change works well for trunchbull's character bc it makes her seem more like a real life abuser' #'this detail is very subtle but it really captures some tiny part of the experience of growing up with an abuser' #'i dont like this bc it detracts from the narrative of the main character feeling alone and makes it less relatable to abused kids' #'i dont like this because while it IS something that happens under abuse it detracts from the fantasy where the kids all win together' #idk. of course everything that happened to me as a kid was awful and should not have happened but like #for a long time i had this problem where i didnt know how i was ever supposed to be okay about that #like no matter how much therapy i go through it will never UN-happen. it will always still have happened and it will always have been awful #and i couldnt figure out how i was supposed to recover from that besides 'bury it and try your hardest to never ever think about it' #and. i think maybe this is it. yes the abuse i went through was awful. thats kind of the whole thing about abuse #but. its also just a fact of my life. im better NOW. but that will not change what happened then #the abuse was awful. but the fact that i am an abuse survivor is a neutral fact. the same as any other fact from my childhood #its just a fact. a part of my past. and maybe being able to talk about it that way is... good for me #i dont have to break down when i think about it bc im okay now. my partner doesnt need to stop me and express sorrow for me bc im okay now #i can talk about my past in a neutral way and use my life experience to analyze movies #the same way that i used my experience of growing up in arkansas to analyze hollywood hillbillies when we watched it together #theyre both just two facts of my life. and analyzing movies is fun #that woman has no power over me anymore and hasnt for many many years. im okay now #abuse mention #child abuse mention #request to tag

[transphilza]

tis missin techno hours it seems

#cw grief #vent in tags #man i started watching breakin bad for the first time recently w my gf and like great show #but boy was i not prepared for all the cancer stuff. we had to stop watching one night because of how hard it was for me to watch #its just so hard to think about him going through that. like obviously #thats why the dedication by the sfa still hurts to even think about #and thinking about it all it makes sense to me why he never told us how bad it really was #i was. already so so worried about him all the time especially those last few months #even though he never gave us any reason to believe it was getting worse or anythin like that #so i cant imagine how badly id have been worrying if id known the extent of it all back then #and im grateful in a way for it. cause it gave me the chance during that last year we had him to really just love and appreciate #i just watched and rewatched vods and videos and i was so happy and so grateful to have him around.. im still grateful. cause hes not gone #i think he wanted it to be like that? i think he didnt want anyone mourning him before he left #dunno im just missing him and thinking of him as i often do. its just one of those Its All Painfully Real Lol moments #i sometimes have legitimate fleeting thoughts where im like. so. im gonna wake up tomorrow and someones gonna have created a cure for death #and hes gonna be back right. or like. for half a second my brain goes Cool so when does he come back? #its real strange #i think about his friends and family alot i find myself wondering if it hurts so bad for me then how are they even getting by? #but grief is always grief and grieving people are grieving people so maybe we arent as different as i think #yknow #whenever theres a meetup or something like that theres always this awful ache. this ringing in my ears #and it says. like. christ this is hard to type out. #it says ‘techno never got to do this’… or ‘sbi never got to do this’… #and its not a sentiment of jealousy or anger or even envy…. just grief #it’s just pure pure grief it’s just loss and it makes the whole world feel hollow #but i suppose that’s just the world without him.? everything echoes louder than it should #it seriously makes me feel sick when i think about that. augh. last hope we all had for an sbi meetup at vidcon #and how phil said they asked but techno. said he wouldnt make it that long basically. i think about that too much #i wont ever remember that vidcon as anything but the last few days of bliss before we found out #gonna rewatch some of his videos and sleep now. hearing his voice always makes me smile ❤️ goodnight

[ceedeelamb]

#i went through daks (ex now) gf Instagram a while ago (in a NON stalking way k just wanted to see the dogs) and #this was her st valentine's post to dak #and zeke... 😭😭😭😭😭😭 #dont worry bb im sure you were still his fav human alive even while in a relationship #no need to get jealous #21/4 #and i have a headache and ive been crying and its 4:25 and im watching tennis so i feel none of my tags made any sense #sorry #dak #zeke

[good-wine-and-cheese]

I very much love yu yu hakusho. It's one of those shows that holds a special nostalgic place for me. But it feels abusive because this show is constantly doing everything in its power to make me have a seizure

#personal #ive been watching it all the way thru with my gf and partly its just 90s anime style with flashy colours and stuff #but its so much worse in yuyu it feels like #watching through my eyelashes for like 30% of the show lmfao

[pipcoded]

now that im out of that shitty mindset that i would be a bad person if i look at ‘problematic’ shows… ive been much happier and ive been able to enjoy way more things than i previously let myself enjoy

#i watched helluva boss and s1 of made in abyss and really enjoyed them both #ive been making my way through homestuck too and it’s been a lot of fun especially with my gf to guide me #im problematic but im free…

[hoodieimp]

Not me finding a new(ish) podcast and Binging it all in one go when I don't even *listen* to podcasts normally--

#dizzyisms #it's Mystery Shack Lookback if you're wondering hdjdjd #the Gravity Falls rewatch/nostalgia time capsule one #found it thru Weirdmageddon's one audio post last night #stayed up till 3:30 AM listening to the Cipher Hunt ep w Alex Hirsch n Jason Ritter(!!!!) #aaand now I've been steadily plowing thru it from the beginning all day #it's genuinely so cool it might even come dangerously close to dredging up my ancient GF special interest #like ngl I wasn't *super* involved in the GF fandom even while the show was On #bc I didn't have cable or Prime or anything (hell I don't think I even had my own debit card back in high school) #so I straight-up missed a bunch of episodes and only saw em thru reaction videos or absorbed the plot via TV Tropes or tunglr posts #but *god* if this isn’t reawakening the same ''!!!!!!'' feeling that reading thru people's theories and stuff back in 2012 did #that same Hype and Monkey Brain satisfaction at ripping into every episode to pick out potential clues and cracking the ciphers #like rn I'm listening to the MSLB ep talking about the First Big Hiatus after Summerween aired + the Rumble's Revenge Flash game #and how this fuckin. Disney Channel tie-in beatemup was where *Bill Cipher's name* was first revealed to us #and hearing Charley (the one host+editor) getting So Fucking Hyped to talk abt Bill is so fun #bc hell yeah that's exactly how *I* felt back when I was first watching!! #now I get to *relive* it vicariously through these two yelling about it!

[because-its-eurovision]

.

#no need to read or react just needed to rant about my brain a bit #the next two weeks are supposed to be super exciting with BC giving us a new look and song and music video #it's umk week and my favorite for once has historically great odds of winning and a good chance to do well at eurovision as well #I'm going to see umk live with my dear sister and stay at a hotel so it's like a mini-getout and then I'm going to stockholm and oslo gigs #this is supposed to be best times of the year so far but my brain decided we can't have any of that :) #last year at this same time I got hit hard with depression and the anxiety I've always had got even worse #it got to the point that nothing made me happy or feel anything at all and I just cried all day for weeks #everything about UMK night was blurry and sad because I wasn't talking to my bestie who I've watched eurovision with for 10 years #I just started crying during the Dark Side/ Bad Idea opening and the results felt like nothing #I'll always assiociate Bad Idea with my depression because it was playing on the radio in the nurse's office when I got my meds #anyway I can feel that same darkness crawling back to my brain right now and I'm very scared #my brain decides I don't deserve to be happy and screams about how unloveable and ridiculous and embarrassing and ugly I am #it isn't helping that Joel keeps reposting the most model-looking tiktokers because I always feel a hot gush of shame run through me #and everytime I see a pic of any of their blonde skinny young gfs I just wanna kms #now it's gotten to a point that the voice in my head yells at me that I don't deserve Bc or their music and I should cancel my gig trip #because they wouldn't wanna see a disgusting cow myself being so near the stage not to mention ask for a pic or autograph #and I should just hide in my apartment forever #and everyone who has ever been nice to me is either doing that out of pity or making fun of me behind my back #I can't take this anymore #delete later

[jayswing101]

.

#y'all it is a weekend of drama apparently #so a few years ago my dad and stepmum and i went to scotland #while there my stepmum kept looking for a skirt with our family tartan but never managed to find one #so for her birthday that year my brother and i bought some wool tartan and had it shipped to canada from scotland #and i hand sewed her a skirt out of it #she genuinely loved the skirt and wore it all the time. all the time!! #in may of this year - my dad and stepmum got married. her parents live in france and her dad is v sick so they couldn't be there in person #so they hired a videographer to film the ceremony so her parents could watch it live from france #they missed the wedding tho bc they had to also attend a baptism that day and my stepmum said not to bother watching the wedding if they #were algo going to go to the baptism (the baptism was at 10am france time and the wedding at 7pm france time they could've done both easy) #but anyways. so stepmum tells her parents not to watch the wedding and cancels the videographer #she's been upset since that happened and every little flaw with the wedding has now made her even more upset #basically- every guest is having their entire lives nitpicked bc my stepmum has decided to find her voice and let people know when they've #upset her. which great! tell people well they've crossed a line! but she's going through like 10+ years and critiquing every little thing #like one time in 2017 i came home with dirty clothes and did my laundry at the house and 'i was taking advantage of them' #or my brother's gf was inconsiderate and rude for wearing shorts around our house (it was 20°C?? everyone was in shorts?) #anyways. my dad said this last week my stepmum has gone through and thrown out everything me or my brother ever gave her #INCLUDING THAT SKIRT I HAND SEWED ESPECIALLY FOR HER #my dad rescued what he could and hid it (luckily rescuing the skirt!) but like. wtf #for the first time my stepmum's name really suits her. she's acting a real Karen rn #and like i know she's upset that her parents couldn't watch the wedding- but that was literally her doing? #and even if they had purposefully chosen to miss it - that doesn't excuse hurting other people bc you're upset #anyways. suffice to say i don't think I'll ever feel comfy in that house ever again #and the search for an apartment out in NL might have to begin sooner than initially planned #I'm not even super upset by this just. baffled by how ridiculous it is?? like it feels like something out of a bad soap opera

[jovalencia]

😐😐😐😐😐😐😐😐😐

#okay but really. we plan a night to watch big brother together with me her my mom and her gf like we always do except this time #we’ll all have snacks and be wearing our thrifted pajama pants #but instead she spends all fucking day away with her girlfriend and they get back and all they want to do is move her stuff to my #old room. which she should have done THIS MORNING considering how she was rushing me out of my room yesterday #so she moves all her shit and asks if she can go fuck off with her gf tomorrow even though we have the rosary for my grandpa that night #and she needs to unload the dishwasher and her and my mom both KNOW it’s her turn but she claims it’s mine #and we have a chart that we use to determine who’s turn it is so arguments like this don’t happen but she never marks her name off #so I’m like you’re unloading the fucking dishwasher no matter what because I’m not doing this bullshit and she’s all like #the way you said that to me was disgusting and I know it’s not my turn but I’ll do it like oh my fucking god #then I go back downstairs and my mom is like are you okay like no I’m not fucking okay I moved into a room that makes me feel #horrible whenever I step inside I’m going to college even though I don’t really want to and my sister who has been the only constant #friend I’ve had in my life (and my only friend at times) has slowly started to hate me over the last six months and I don’t know why #like everything is so fucking stressful right now and I have no idea what I’m even doing #and she’s like yeah change in life is always difficult like yes I know but the only person who has been there with me through it all wants #nothing to fucking do with me #and lately every time I talk in my family all they do is laugh at whatever I said like no matter what they don’t value my opinion or #take me seriously. and I know I’m a hashtag silly gal but that doesn’t mean that I’m a joke and not a person #it’s just so frustrating #also all this on top of my mental health being shit to begin with #august going out with a bang