#because obviously im ace but im also bi and for me those 2 things are very deeply connected

[jazajas]

okay so i finished love, victor a while ago and i saw some other reviews and thoughts about it here so now i've got a pretty good list on my thoughts and feelings.

tl;dr: it has some issues, yes, but im gonna hold out and hope it gets better later on because the same thing happened with the first few eps, i wasn't that into it but then it got good, and nothing is ever great with the first season, because at that point we're getting used to those characters.

⚠️caution: spoilers ahead (im on mobile, i cant get an under-the-cut)⚠️

1. while a leah on the offbeat movie would have been amazing movie sequel (even tho i havent read the book yet, im just here for the wlw content) i am kind of glad we got this instead. mostly because I've seen book series where one movie was good, so they decide to do the rest, turn out bad (hunger games? divergent? percy jackson? the hobbit?) because so much was cut from the book-to-first movie writing, that other scenes wouldn't make sense to future movies if they had those in while cutting others. however, i am sad that i didn't get to make the choice of deciding whether what was cut was wrong etc. about future movies, but i'll take what i can get.

2. LGBTQ+ POC as a lead! that's amazing! as a ace/bi lantina that's close to home (it also is great that victor's from texas and so is ya gorl) and even then it's a mixed latinx family! i think pilar mentioned that at least the grandmother left Colombia and i saw the Puerto Rican flag in victor's room. also the salazar's are definitely from small town texas, even without knowing the name. (church barbeques, the use of the words "such a diverse city" in regards to atlanta)

3. a lack of actual lgbtq+ main storylines (so far) is kind of sad for a show like this. i was getting serious bi/pan vibes (as a lot of other people) from victor from the beginning, and when it was implied that victor was actually gay (while great, not shaming) as it has been brought to my attention, there was a lot of looking at a lot of straight relationship problems (please let us know more about benji)- edit 6/18: upon further consideration, it very much is a show about questioning your sexuality, I'm speaking about the other straight relationship issues, not mia and Victor's, its just the first season.

4. let us talk about cheating for a sec. never okay, in any circumstance. i feel sorry for mia that she saw victor making out with benji and the fact that he was doing any of that in the first place. victor made a choice to lie about the espresso machine and then kissed benji at the hotel and then when benji was fighting with derek, basically confessed his love and mistakes, then proceeded to makeout with benji after he broke up with derek, he built that grave and now he must lie in it. i get having feelings for a guy when you are in a relationship with a girl, and not accepting yourself enough to end that relationship but you really want it to work so you can be "normal". really, he should have told mia after he got back from the trip tho. i get being in highschool and doing stupid stuff and making dumb decisions, but for a show aimed at teens i think we should also remind said teens to make good choices even if we have to lose some realism within the character choices.

4. pilar and her decisions based off her brother pissed me off. because i honestly think that if she'd kept her mouth shut about what she knew or confronted victor about it in the first place we could have avoided a LOT of mess. did she not learn from snooping around her mother's business about her relationships that going behind a person's back doesnt end well? i did, however, like the pilar/felix friendship and was really kind of hoping that they'd get together during their coffee hangout (although now im glad that didn't happen) because they had a deeper understanding of each other. same with wendy/felix, although they do seem to much alike to work out in the long run but i still feel bad for wendy.

5. i don't know how i feel about lake and andrew, as people separate from each other. both seem to be the way they are from their upbringing (not confirmed why andrew is such an ass, but if his comment about his dad is anything to go by i bet it's got something to do with attention) but andrew seems to be less, idk, superficial? like he turned down mia because he didn't want to be a rebound, he didn't out victor, he actually stood up to early teasing the other dudes in the lockerroom were doing at victor (with teasing of his own obviously but that interaction had him on my nice list until much later). lake? lake. i honestly don't have an opinion of her? not really. i mean after hanging out with pilar i was hoping felix wouldn't go back to lake. is her name laken? i feel like her full name is laken. but they also played the "im only like this because my mom is really superficial about stuff and i do like the geeky nice guy but appearances" to "actually screw the norms im gonna makeout with him infront of the whole student body". i honestly thought she was gonna be bi because she kept hitting on mia when she was helping set up for her "date" and "big night" and there was one point where i saw her face fall at something mia said in relation to her and idk i was hoping she'd be bi (i figured early on that victor/mia wasnt gonna work and was like "oh mia/lake would be cute" but now idk.

6. okay on to the "big night", i have one word. NO. i didn't like the peer pressure into having sex. i agreed with felix when he said "your body your choice" but im also disappointed that victor made out with mia and when lake was talking to felix after victor left he didn't try to stand up for victor.

7. on to age gaps because i hadn't really thought of this at first. we'll start with benji/derek: WHAT GRADE IS BENJI?! because that determines my thoughts. if he's a sophomore that meant that he and Derek started dating benji's freshman year and thats eugh, don't do that, don't care if its a gay couple that shouldn't be happening because the maturity of the two characters is DRASTICALLY different (this is also a reason i am not a fan of cmbyn) but that would explain why they were so rocky. hoping the event at the gay bar was open to anyone not just for drinking, but not liking that fact that not one of the adults with victor were like: hey, this is a 16 year old, that's kind of wack when that dude was hitting on victor. that made me question some stuff. although i figure it might be making up for the lack of a gay bar scene in love, simon. but even then, in svthsa it's a restaurant with a bar that some people go to just to drink at, it wasn't just a bar, simon could be there but should NOT have accepted drinks from college kids, not matter how attractive.

8. i loved how bram and simon and their friends helped victor out though. i like how bram was like: hey i know my friends are a lot so here's a gay basketball league becaue there's no one way to be gay. i like how Simon talked about needing help himself just to help victor and how he said his friends were cool with it because it's a community. i like of justin(?) mentioned how being what his parents wanted was putting on a mask and pretending, not him doing drag. my favorite lines from that ep are: "and before you ask my pronouns are they/them/theirs" "'they're all gay? even that guy? he's like [insert really tall number]' 'yeah. you should see him in heels'" "or in simon's case: really unathletic" "and also because bram said that if i wore [the jean jacket] one more time he'd burn it". also katya was there. and the group hug too!

9. the back hand homophobia in relation to family is sad, but realistic and i sincerely hope his parents are kind enough not to be too harsh on victor because of it. anything they say that isn't positive or supportive of victor is bad but i hope they realize that there is more to him than that and that they can come to terms with it because it's not always that hard to be a part of that community and super religious. i am biromantic and catholic. and while there are some things i wont agree on my mom with, i know that it's more of a strike against God for kicking out gay kids from families than it is to be gay, because those parents were given trust by GOD to love those kids no matter what, and be good parents. so in the end, the parents are wrong and harmful and in the case of christians against jesus's teachings to love everyone.

10. this is fan speculation but dont think simon/bram are going through a rough patch? i honestly think it'd be a little cruel to the characters to have on of their actors be producing but then not have that relationship stay. and while it's not set in stone and obviously things happen in the real world, we have no proof script wise about there being a rift. all we have are bad photoshopped ig photos and scenes where two characters are never standing next to each other probably beccaue schedules never link up correctly for minor characters. who knows, maybe nick robinson was filming for a movie where is does have an even more major role than victor's gay guru in a series about victor so his filming time was around that. im gonna keep hope that things are okay.

11. that being said: we need more mainstream wlw content, because someone said it earlier and it really does seem to be catering to straight girls. i'll admit i did freak out when benji played call me maybe which is something i associated with him and victor but then kissed a guy because who wouldn't? we get that serenade and sweetness and then it'a ripped from us. but i did mellow out. if i flipped later it was because victor was making dumb decisions and i had to give myself a moment of compsure before i continued.

in the end, i'd say that there is a lot of growth this series needs to go through, but i also know that some people just aren't going to like it and i get that. but i also know that sometimes the best of stories have rocky starts, nothing is ever perfect from the beginning. and besides, further seasons are on hold until we figure out this covid thing, which means that you bet they're gonna be looking at our feedback. they saw what we thought before, they can do it again

i really did like it but we need more ACTUAL lgbtq+ relationship stuff from this series and better decisions on what we are teaching the younger generations, as well as what we want to focus on and realism within characters. i'm giving it an 8/10, because there is always room for growth and i really hope we get better things out of this than what we have been given in season 2.

edit: someone mentioned it really seeming like it was meant for Disney+ and i felt that. also to anyone who reaches the tags agter reading ALL OF THIS: i am sorry

#love victor spoilers #love victor #love simon #simon vs the homosapiens agenda #leah on the offbeat #simon spier #bram greenfeld #victor salazar #felix weston #jas rambles #i have opinions #and i am very tired #just like in general #like my current state of being #although i am tired of straight being constantly shoved down the thoughts of lgbtq+ people #and like the state of the world because people are bigoted a-holes #but like #it's nice that they upped the airing because they didn't want to conlfict with juneteenth #although now im questioning motives on why #was is out of support? or the want if making money #who knows #i sure dont #i hoped there aren't too many grammatical errors

[criticalrolo]

IDK if you want to actually talk about this more, but my sister identifies as a Bi Lesbian, and the way she describes it is that she is attracted to women and nonbinary people. I think saying that bi people HAVE to be attracted to men is off-base and ignores the nonbinary part of "more than one gender" - and as soon as you include nb people it is no longer mutually exclusive. ALSO fuck terfs getting to take an id away from people cause theyre shitty, I respect the people who id as that more 1/3

2/3 Of course Bi and Lesbians are full identities, but if people find a label like Bi Lesbian useful, not as a watering down but as a way to speak their truth, then I think it should be respected. It doesn't have to be a scale - maybe if anything a modifier? And it certainly doesn't make Bi or Lesbian less of an identity than the split attraction model makes Ace less of a thing. IDK I'd just rather be extremely inclusive over saying that an ID is bad. IDK about the Bipoc tho as Im white

3/3 one final aside, is I've seen it described as an easy way to explain that they are into multiple genders but not into men. And I think if its useful and easily understood, a useful shorthand, then let people use it. Fuck anyone (esp terfs) who apply it to other people, but I think we dont have to conflate all the ways people are awful to queer people with an Identity itself being fucked up. Anyway sorry to ramble right back, and I hope you have a nice night and Ill see you in the cr tag lol

Hey there! So, to address your points, I do want to say first of all that I totally find it admirable that, given the option, you’d rather stray towards overly inclusive as opposed to Not Inclusive Enough. I totally agree with that sentiment, and think that you’re absolutely coming at this from a good angle.

The things I find difficult about the “bi lesbian” label kind of come from your second ask mainly. So the thing is, all sexualities can potentially include nonbinary people. “Nonbinary” is not a separate Third Gender Option, it’s an enormous array of different identities. People can be nonbinary but man or woman-aligned, completely agender, all the genders at once, etc. etc. etc.... basically the format that you’re thinking of conforms the nonbinary experience into an all encompassing “third gender” when in fact it’s a broad spectrum of experiences and identities that can be extremely similar or dissimilar. 

Because yeah... there are nb lesbians out there. Who are attracted to women, and other nb lesbian/bisexual people who identify with being sapphic or wlw. You’re actually talking to one right now ;) My experience with gender is All Over The Place and I’m not very good at defining it right now, but I definitely identify very strongly as a lesbian who is attracted to women/women-aligned people. Gender Is Lesbian for me personally right now lol

The issue comes when, as you said, you start to use “lesbian” as a modifying term. It’s not a modifier. It’s a full term that exclusively means women who are not attracted to men. I know you bring up the split attraction model here, but I’ve found that that is WAY more useful for asexual identities without getting into some of the sticky areas like this one where IDing as something actually is harmful/doesn’t make sense. I know that the term “exclusive” does bring up some bad associations but in this case, that’s because we have terms for people who experience attraction to Women/NB people who ID as sapphic (basically ur NB lesbians/people comfy with calling themselves NB bisexual women) and for people who identify as being attracted to men and women (and man-aligned etc. etc.)

LIke, see how long those descriptions got once I started including some of the many, MANY different experiences of being nonbinary...? Basically there’s just no single way to define Every Nonbinary Person for Every Single Sexuality since it’s such a broad spectrum of experience, which is why a lot of sexualities might sound pretty binary (like defining lesbian as Woman Who Loves Only Women) but in fact is because there’s no way to include every single nonbinary experience and categorize them into a neat little box, you know? 

So from there, you’ve gotta ALSO consider the points I made earlier about how the identity of “bisexual lesbian” also comes across as lesbophobic, biphobic, and transphobic in ways that harm all of those identities instead of bringing them together. Like, obviously your sister is a Valid Human Being, and it feels weird to be saying an identity is NOT valid... but like. Forcing two mutually exclusive identities together (one that explicitly does not include men and one that does) just ends up hurting the people who ID with those identities in the long run, like how I outlined in my other post. Essentially, it takes away from the overall meaning of What It Means To Be A Lesbian and What It Means To Be Bisexual by trying to force the two of them together. They’re different experiences, and that’s something to be celebrated and something to find commonalities over while discussing our differences instead of trying to mash them together, you know? Like there’s a reason why they became defined as separate identities in the first place.

Anyway, this is probably too long but I hope you can see where I’m coming from here. I’m obviously not going to tell your sister How To Identify, but there’s my thoughts some points you might want to consider showing her while she’s figuring out her identity, you know? So yeah, that’s all I’ve got. Hope you have a good day, and get hyped for the CR episode tonight!! <3

#sapphirestream #asks

[thoughtsdying]

The procces of realising you’re aroace: a tale by me version 2

Realising you’re aroace is suddenly comprehending why your few friends (with one exception) have always turned out to be in the queer community at the end. Like. That fenomenum of “queer radar only you don’t realise it’s there and you end up gravitating together anyway?” yup- It happens too. Only most of the time you think you’re an allied cis-het weirdo who cares too much about something that doesn’t have anything to do with you, and who cares if you feel weird when other people assume you’re hetero (or that you have a orientation at all), you sure aren’t attracked to your same gender either. Nor are any kind of trans.

And then you discover asexuality in your late teens and it feels weirdly near you, but you think you’re trying to make it so you’re special, so you dismiss any ace feels as you being a late bloomer, and only take care of including it in discussions about queer issues, and then you feel strangely hurt when a professor dismisses it as “some self descriptor weird lonely japanese men in their 40′s created who only care for 2D” which. You don’t have to tell me all the problems in that sentence. Believe me, I know. And you can’t come with arguments except well if people feel like using it, then we should respect it, bc you don’t have the words to explain asexuality except that internet in english told you it was a thing and you still don’t know except in a nebulous way what even is aromanticism, so you didn’t bring that up in the discussion at all.

And a pair of years after that you start using demisexual bc it feels less scary and very reasonable except you’ve never felt attracted to anyone, how do you even tell it? And relationships scare you, and you still don’t have any idea of what is aromanticism except it scares you and you don’t want to contemplate a life being aro. You love romances after all

(except when you have to look the other way in any kind of profound kiss, bc it’s private people, which makes you feel wiedly homophobic when you’re watching a lgbtq+ media or your best friend with her girlfriend even if it’s the same with hetero, except then it’s just that sex is weird in film and kisses with tongue are still private people!)

and obviously you still don’t want to have sex with a girl (Except perhaps those emotional dreams of touching with a friend that aren’t sex but almlost and are very comfortable anyways it could be nice you’re sure but nice isn’t desire is it?) so even although guys make you nervous and any thought of doing anything romantic-sexual with one is a “yikes” you suppose you find some really pretty in a different way you do with woman and that must be ~attraction~.

And a friend tells you that a guy tried to sound her to see if he could date you and she told him you were ace and uninterested in any kind of relationship, and you go “why?” confused and a bit elated bc holy shit what a relief you won’t have to confront him, but also a bit of panic (that’s how i come across? it isn’t my imagination, im so obvious oh no) and she tells you, “well you are almost one and you don’t have any intention of dating anybody right now so i thought it best to cut any feels on his part right now”. And it gives you things to think about.

And another two years pass except this time you’ve started to educate yourself on aromanticism bc too many relatable posts on tumblr looking into the ace tag made you “holy shit yeah this makes more sense than just asexuality” but also you keep loving romance stories except now you’ve started to recognize you’re starved of friendship in all the ambits of your live and you’re also a young adult who still doesn’t want a relationship, what do i do? And maybe you’re not demi, you’re ace and you can think sex sounds a nice activity to do with intimate friends (aro aro aro) but not something you’re into, and you’re still ace, you’re not attracted to anybody not really. What a relief. (you still can’t try on the aro umbrella)

And you question yourself bc a fantastic guy has become your friend, and your minds vibe inmensely well, and you talk during quearentine, but he gives you some weird vibes sometimes, and makes you gifts which you ignore bc holy shit a best friend! And he has money and he’s lonely! I would also give gifts to my besties if I had money! And then he confesses to you on wassap, and you realise he has put you on a pedestal and has cofessed but already said himself he doesn’t want a relationship with you bc he would corrupt you or something and anyway, he’s not really in love with you he’s using you as a mental crutch to try to not be depressed, he knows that noe but he hates psycologists. Also, can i have some time apart from you?

So you tell him you feel flattered but that you see him as only a friend, and please can you not put yourself so below me? Search professional help. I’ll stay away as long as you need.

And you start feeling uneasy, but you think it’s only that he’s a weirdo and really you’ve dodged a bullet of course you wouldn’t want to go out with him, he’s not really the kind of pretty you like. Except if you’re ace what does it matter? Isn’t it that you feel pretty repulsed by trying a romantic relationship? Or are you just justifying your own aloofness and personality problems that make impossibly difficult to try a romance anyway. People don’t control who they feel romantic feels for anyway.

Except in the following months when you’ve finally reaturned to be friends you’re so relieved to not have that shadow above you and really wouldn’t it be amazing if everybody knew you didn’t want anything to do with them romantically? To be free to be friends and hug them, and walk arm in arm or go to lunch and cinema and still be just friends? To plan your future in a line along with those friends but not be really a committement as much as you just want to enjoy talking face to face with them for a bit longer.

So you go back to read about aromanticism and maybe you cry a little but mostly you’re pretty happy and scared about it. And you tell that friend, bc he’s your bestie right now and you feel him being bi and also being interested in you in the past would make him more likely to react well. It’s not personal it’s just the way I am. And then you start crying in the middle of a starbucks for 15 min. and you didn’t now you feel so much so intensely about being aroace, and how it had impacted you without knowing and how much you hate those expectations. And he hugs you and tells you “nobody has the right to tell you how to live. if you feel like you’re never gonna be in a relationship that’s your business and you’ll be happy anyway” and you cry harder. And then you both have a sincere conversation about sex as he has experimented it and how you feel it pretty strange and weird, but maybe you’d like to try it sometime. Just not a time near now. And if it’s never that’s pretty okey with you too.

So you go home feeling a bit embarrased but also pretty elated except a week later there’s another wassap message from him, saying he feels he still loves you, and that he understands intelectually your nearness with him is friendly but still feels romantic and it confuses me and it pains me and i would prefer to not be your friend anymore, sorry, men are shit and me the worst of them.

“Ok” I write back. I’m furious and hurt and I don’t want to see his liar face anymore. So fuck you, I think. “Thanks for telling me” And I block his number and I don’t talk to him when we met with out mutual friends, and when it’s necessary I talk as if he were a stranger. Kindly but impersonal. Isn’t that what you wanted? To lost a friend? So you’ve lost me forever.

And it became clear to me that I don’t think I’ll ever understand the stupidity of not wanting to see someone just because their lives don’t revolve around you the way you like, even though you’re friends and you can talk to them about anything at all anyway, and be there for help with the shitty parts of life. There are things I’ll never felt or do for another. 

And I’m ok with that.

#aromantic #aromanticism #asexual #asexuality #personal #real experiences and problems

[rakkikuroba]

Tw : swearing ? Long post.

I was high when I write this. Please don’t be offended, I’m gay, most of what I say is based on my feeling on those characters and probably some stereotypes of gay people. Also there is probably some grammatically mistakes. And some pretty shitty things I didn’t change because idc.

Also this was supposed to be how they are gay but it’s more of me yelling who is gay with no evidence. (Please don’t make me lose followers or get any hates)

Every gay character in BC

One. All the motherfucking elves. They all were attracted to Licht. But this fucker choose to fuck an human. And he died because of this. Ché Licht. Ché !

2. Lumière is bi. He would have fucked Secre and Licht but Licht choose his sister. What a bitch.

3. Noelle and Nozel tho. GAAYY. Your attraction for Nero is showing Noelle ! Nozel is gay, he wants to fuck Fuegoleon, don’t lie babe.

4. Jack, jack wants to fuck Yami, apparently he isn’t the only one (Dante).

5. Dorothy. Lesbian energyyyyy.

6. Sol. ._. Flashback of the bath scene. Hum... hehe boobs.

7. Lolopechka. Hell she’s bi. She touched Mimosa’s boobs with such confidence there is nothing straight there. Also Lolo, ask consent next time, it’s important.

8. Mereo. There is two reason why Mereo isn’t married, she scared the men and she fuck women.

9. Marx, gay.

10. The Zogratis. Dante is closeted, he tries to hide his gayness. But we know Dante. Fuck whoever you want.

11. Dazu and Bow, you saw the episode, that’s gay.

12. Finral. Biiiiiii.

13. Zora. Idk. I just think he’s nice. He drinks a lot of respect women’s juice.

14. Most of the witches. I mean most of them never saw a man...

15. All the knight in the Blue Rose. Idc about the one saying she has a boyfriend, it isn’t in the manga. Fuck off.

16. Acier. She got married at 18~19. But she has strong bi energy. Also it probably was an arranged marriage so. Gay feeling. Here. But she dead so ?

17. Alecdora. That was some crush on William here. Hehe.

18. Letoile, big lesbian energy here.

19. Undyne, on one way i want to see her as Lolopechka foster mom and in the other way, she has a crush on her. Anyway, lesbian.

20. Kirisch. Gay. Move on.

21. Julius. Pansexual, you have a strong magic ? Lets fuck. Lets kiss.

22. Luck and Magna. This one is for @crazycookiemaniac ! Gaysss. With 3 s.

23. Yami. Our man is a man of acceptance (i feel like im lying here...)

23. Charmy gives me asexual vibes. You know ? Why having sex when we can just eat in bed ?

24. Leopold. He was raised by the best with acceptance. Bisexual as fuck (is there anyone in this house who’s straight ?)

25. I actually really like the headcanons that Vanica is trans. Idk. That would be cool. Also she’s pan.

26. Zenon. Nonbinary Zenon nonbanary zenon 🥺 anyway, aro. This man doesn’t care.

27. For the ace bird we have... Nero ! And for the ace loving bird... William !

28. Nils from the Silver Eagle. Gay. Im sorry but with this haircut, he can only be gay.

29. Paplo Espuma. You don’t remember him ? You’re not a real fan, don’t @ me. Also gay. (I feel like im going to get a lot of hate because im just screaming every gay character without making sense so imma blame it on my gaydar)

30. Dorothy, lesbian. Also she’s pink and cute.

31. Gordon family’s dog.

32. Yuno is ace or aro. This man doesn’t look at girls or boys. He has businnes to attempt.

33. I feel like every single man in the Crimson Lion are gay.

34. Theresa was obviously a lesbian before she started loving god or whatever i don’t understand politics.

35. Neige, soft boy, soft gay.

36. Salamander is gay tho. I can feel it. It’s much happier now with Fuegoleon titties.

37. Fragil Tormenta is cute as f. Probably gonna put her in the lesbian cases so I can have it.

38. Rades and Valtos are in a relationship don’t @ me.

39. Kabwe was gay and I just want to imagine him and Damnatio fucking.

40. Damnotio probably like bi closeted something.

41. Patri really has the worst profile pic. Who cares ?

42. Mariella is a lesbian. It’s in her vibes, you know, being adopted by a weird couple is a lesbian thing right ?

43. Potrof has soft gay vibes and he should be proud of it !

44. Sarado is cute, idk everytime Tabata gives us black-short haired girl they’re lesbians so...

45. Charlotte. Bi. Charlotte, dear, forgets the men, they’re only society’s construction. They don’t really exist.

The end.

#do I have to tag every character i named ? #black clover #black clover is gay #fuegoleon vermillion

[progressivestupidity]

IZ week 2020

so i wasn’t gonna do this because I didn’t think the prompts were very good for writing to, but I remembered the last day’s prompt was “role swap” so I decided to do something small and quick for it. this is all 7 days in one post. the first and last ones are drabbles and one of them is an au idea

@invader-zim-week​ here u go!!!

Day 1. Angst or Fluff 

Zim’s denial skills are god tier, but even they have their limits.

Drabble. I think this is the turning point for my eventual found family au

“When are you going to get it through your thick head that the Tallests aren’t coming?” Dib flings his arms out wide in his exasperation

“They’re just…!” Zim fumbles a bit, clenching and unclenching his fists. “The Armada is a million light years away! It takes time to travel that far, obviously. It took me six of your months to get here from Conventia and the Massive is further away from here now than that. They’ll come! You’ll see! And then you’ll be sorry!” Zim’s face is drawn tight. He’s tense all over, shoulders drawn up to his jaw, antennae pressed flat to his head, and normally Dib prides himself on reading Zim like an open book, but he’s too far gone in his own annoyance to see the warning signs.

It’s because he doesn’t see these red flags that Dib proceeds to stick his own foot in his mouth with his next words. “Maybe if you weren’t such an idiot and opened your eyes, you’d see the truth—that they dumped you here to get rid of you.”

“YOU THINK I DON’T KNOW THAT?” Zim explodes, planting his tiny hands in Dib’s chest and shoving. The boy lands painfully on his ass. “I’m not stupid, Dib.” His name is spat like an insult. “I know they don’t care about me! Why do you think I try so hard?”

Dib gapes at Zim, looking up at him for once, stunned into silence. “I.” He swallows. “You know?”

“Of course, I know.” Zim’s voice is a low hiss and his eyes are narrowed to slits. “You don’t get banished and then just get over it. You don’t get put on trial to defend your life, forced to relive your worse mistakes, and get sentenced to death, only to be saved by freak miracle, and never acknowledge it happened.” Zim takes a deep breath and crosses his arms over his chest. Dib supposes he means for it to look intimidating, but it looks more like he’s holding himself together. “I’ve always known.”

“Why do you try so hard then? If you’ve always known there was no point?” Dib has to ask, has to know, has to hear the words from Zim’s own mouth.

Zim purses his lips and turns away. “There was always a point.” He falls silent for a moment, one antenna twitching up a bit in thought. “I just… I thought if I was just a little better, if I accomplished something important for once, that… I don’t know, that maybe I’d.” He pauses and grits his teeth. “Maybe if I actually managed to take over this filthy planet I’d be worth something for once.”

Day 2. Be Gay Do Crime (LGBTQA+ headcannons)

Dib is bi/pan/demi-ro, Gaz is lesbian, Zim is ace/demi-ro

Headcanons.

Dib seems like the kind of guy that would both take whatever kind of relationship he could get, but also appreciate it. Dib isn’t afraid to work for what he wants and isn’t afraid of things that are “not normal” so I see him being the type to not care about the gender of whoever he eventually decides to date. However, because Dib’s been burned in the past, he would need a deep and sincere emotional relationship to see someone as a potential romantic partner.

Gaz is just a big lesbian. Girls, man.

Zim is ace all the way baby!!! He’s just not interested, and sure, part of that is me projecting, but it just feels right for Zim to just… not care. He has no interest and doesn’t care for sexual attraction regardless of whether or not Irkens do/can/will have sex or not. On the other hand, Zim has expressed a softer side before and I can see him being able to maybe eventually develop romantic feelings for someone if he actually manages to get close enough to them for those kinds of feelings to even emerge. It would take a lot of time and a deep, meaningful friendship, but Zim has shown he’s capable of love. He just has to let himself feel it.

  Day 3. Fandom Appreciation

Found family fuck yeah

Headcanons.

I’m still in the process of thinking about how I wanna go about my found family au so here’s just some initial ideas

After ETF, Zim self isolates for a bit. The florpus hole was his Last Ditch Effort plan and had it succeeded, he knew he would have been destroyed too. He was okay with it. He had made peace with it. However, it failed, and now he’s forced to reflect on said failure

The Massive doesn’t escape the florpus. They’re gone, completely. If they the ship does manage to get out, it’s not in one piece

I initially couldn’t decide if The Trial should come Before ETF or After but I think im gonna say before so the Massive doesn’t have to come back lmao

Before too long, Zim jumps back into the planning/scheming swing of things, but his ideas are never more than petty crimes and being a huge annoyance

Dib gets really annoyed with him and they have a big argument

Zim finally admits to knowing of his own Defectiveness

Dib reluctantly feels bad for him and backs off a bit to let Zim have his space

Zim, however, sees this as a betrayal and redoubles his efforts to get his attention

Somewhere along the way, Skoodge comes back and Zim backs off of Dib a bit, having someone else to focus attention on

Dib eventually begins to offer Zim his hand in friendship (phrased as a truce at first) and they finally make steps towards getting along

They realize they actually really like being friends

Zim eventually realizes that he’s made a life for himself, outside of the Empire

Eventually Zim, Skoodge, GIR, Minimoose, Dib, and Gaz form their own little family and explore space and hunt cryptids

(I love cryptid hunter and space exploration aus holy shit)

Day 4. If IZ had a different setting/time period

Cyberpunk??? Sure

Potential idea maybe.

Cyberpunk dystopian future

Aliens and humans intermingle, both on and off Earth

The Irken Empire has gotten bigger

Technology is advanced and cybernetics are widely known/produced

Idk man I don’t know a lot about cyberpunk, maybe this should be more for the aesthetic

Day 5. Aesthetic

Big shrug man idk

Headcanons, thoughts.

I’m a big fan of fashion Zim, and whenever I get the chance I give him clothes that are both cute and comfortable

Galaxy print leggings are a personal favorite of mine to give him

One time I wrote a little ficlet/oneshot where he wore a skirt. I should publish that some day

Uhhhhhh okay so. Dib has veeeeeery big early 2000s emo/punk vibes tbh

Scene kid GIR always makes me laugh

Gaz could pull off pastel goth like no one’s business

I’ve been here long enough to witness emo/scene hair wig Zim and his eventual fall lmfao

Pretty much everyone that redesigned them back in the day gave Zim emo kid hair that fall perfectly over one eye it was WILD

 Day 6. What if IZ was a different Genre?

Uhhhh does “fantasy instead of scifi” count?

Potential idea maybe. (oops it ended up being a fantasy/modern magic au haha ooooops)

Instead of being an alien, I had the idea of, maybeeeeee Irkens are like. Elves maybe, or perhaps some kind of fae. (I don’t know much about fae, oops)

Okay bear with me here, this is all coming together in real time.

The Irkens (which is what I’m gonna call their clan or faction or subrace or whatever) still want to be the rulers or something over the humans/other mystical beings. This world of magic is hidden from humans and they live blissfully unaware. There are invaders all over the place, using magic and glamors to trick humans into thinking they’re also humans. Zim is one such invader and just to happens to end up in Dib’s town, whereupon he enrolls in Dib’s school, pretending to be a transfer student.

I have no idea why or how the Irkens invade or what methods they use, but since my biggest experience with elves is through DND, I’m going to say they’re functionally similar to certain DND elf races.

So anyway, Zim ends up in Dib’s class and Zim’s glamor just Doesn’t Work on Dib for whatever reason (maybe Dib passed his Wisdom saving throw while literally everyone else failed, idk) and so Dib can immediately see Zim for what he is.

Dib is still into paranormal type stuff, though in his world, he’s less about cryptids and aliens and more about the magical species/world(s) that he KNOWS exists. His big goal in his au is similar to canon in that he wants to expose it all for recognition and love from his father.

Zim, meanwhile, he just wants to prove himself, just like canon. I can’t decide how I want the Irken hierarchy to go in this au—that’s something to think about later, when I have more time—but whatever it is, Zim is either a) not very good at it, b) not suited for it, c) ridiculed for not fitting in to it, or d) a combination of any or all of these things. (or secret option e) he rejects it but has no where else to go. On the other hand, it maybe be none of these things.)

GIR is here too though he’s probably not a robot. Maybe he’s another kind of magical being, or, hell, maybe he’s just Zim’s little brother. I’d be okay with that.

Gaz can also see through glamors but she just doesn’t care. Tak shows up at some point to get revenge, and Skoodge also shows up at some point to stay with Zim and be his friend.

Zim is bad at blending in at first, but he eventually Does get better, since he’s not totally isolated from other Irkens here and he also doesn’t Look like an alien.

(I’m thinkin’ elves in this au look Mostly human but with a few differences. Since I’m biased and this is MY fantasy world, damnit, elves are just. Really Pretty. Ethereal and elegant and graceful (for the most part—there are always exceptions) and they’re also great at magic. Maybe Zim isn’t all that great at magic, I dunno. I’ll figure something out.)

This ended up being less of a genre change and more of a whole ass au, lol oops

Day 7. Role swap

Chanting: human zim au human zim au human zim au human zi

Drabble. This is for an ongoing species swap au that i’ve had in development for the last few years. i haven’t posted anything for it yet, but I’ve thought about it a lot

Dib freezes as Zim points the plastic water gun at his head. Zim’s eyes are narrowed, lips pursed, and he adjusts his grip almost nervously. Behind him, Gir is holding a bucket full of water balloons and a pair of neon green star shaped sunglasses. It’d be cute if Dib wasn’t aware of how painful Earth water is to his Irken skin.

Zim finally lowers his gun slightly. “I want some answers, alien.” He looks Dib over with critical eyes. “Who are you really, and why are you here?” He reaches back and Gir hands him a water balloon with a big smile. “And you better tell the truth or I’ll bust this over your big head.”

Dib grimaces and watches the balloon. “My name Dib, and I’m a scientist. I’m an Irken, from Irk, and I’m here to learn more about life on this planet.” He holds his hands up, hoping to placate the human gesture for surrender. “I’m not here to harm you or anyone else, promise.”

Zim huffs. “Yeah right. I bet you just came here to laugh at the locals.” He puts on a mocking voice and waves the gun and balloon as he speaks. “‘Stupid, stinking humans. They can’t even travel beyond their own moon, yet. What morons. I bet they descended from pigs with how horrible and stupid they are.’” He jams the gun against Dib’s chest. “Tell me I’m wrong.”

Dib bites his lower lip and looks away. He can’t deny he hasn’t thought something similar since arriving on Earth, but Zim didn’t have to be so crude and blunt about it.

The two are at a standoff for almost a minute before Zim blows out a long sigh and steps back. He turns to put the balloon back in the bucket, gives Gir a pat on the head, and shoots Dib one last glare. “Stay away from me, Dib. I have enough problems to deal with without having to worry about whether or not it’s safe for my brother to go to school or if I need to watch my back while walking my dog.”

“I wouldn’t hurt you,” Dib says, a little put out.

Zim scoffs and rolls his eyes. “Yeah, I’ve heard that one before. I know better than to believe it.” He turns and tries to smile at Gir but it comes out a little twisted and sad. “C’mon Gir. Let’s go home and get Minimoose and take him to that dog park you like so much.”

Gir gasps and lets out a cheer. “Can we go get ice cream afterwards?”

Zim gives a little laugh, smile turning a bit more genuine. “Yeah, sounds good.”

As they walk away Dib can’t help but wonder why he ever thought Zim was an Irken himself.

#izweek2020 #invader zim #invader zim week #zim #dib #role swap #species swap #iz fantasy au #to be named later #i had nooooo idea how to write about the aesthetics prompt #it really isnt a good writing prompt #tho it's given some FANTASTIC art #i wasnt gonna do this at all bc the prompts arent very writer friendly #but i wrote the angst thing and then i wanted to write some stuff for the role swap #and now here we are #enjoy!!! #mine #kiera writes fics

[fuckyeahasexual]

A complete guide to how the asexual community is NOT lying about the pathologization of asexuality and how many aces(even young ones)have had their asexuality tried to be“fixed” and “converted back to normalcy”

Trigger warning : Conversion therapy,abuse

As if the so called ace “”discourse””( which has till now involved aphobes and exclusionists comparing ace people to nazis,pedophiles,white supremacists,slave owners,homophobes,  ,talking over ace WOC by white people, telling ace people AND kids to kill themselves,victim blamig and gaslighting ace victims of rape, putting extremely graphic sexual content into asexual tags and sending sexual content to ace minors and adults who are are suffering from sexual trauma even after they told them to STOP ) could not get any worse, we now have these pathetic excuses of human beings accusing ace people of lying about their trauma and abuse just so that they can justify their harassing of ace people.

Im TIRED of seeing these “”highly intellectual people”” keeps repeating bullshit arguments so im gonna make this post addled with appropriate resources and links to handle these two topics:

How asexuality is pathologized

Can the abuse and trauma ace people go through when people try to “convert ace people back to normalcy” and “fix” their asexuality really be called “conversion therapy”?

This is gonna be long,but i hope you will stick with me though this because im going to try as much as possible to make this as source-fuilled and educational for yall. So here we go:

1. Has asexuality really been pathologized?

Short answer,Yes.  Many mental health professionals had consideredasexuality an illness throughout history.There are many articles talking about it.Up till 2013, indicators of asexuality like lack of sexual attraction,sexual fantasies towards other people, lack of interest in sex etc were basically classified as Hypoactive sexual desire disorder in the DSM which was revised just to include that all those indicators WOULD be considered as a “symptom” of HSDD unless a person self identified as “asexual” which wasnt much useful since not everyone(especially young people) might know that they are ace and can be pressured by their peers into going through the “treatment” for HSDD .They did the same thing before they removed homosexuality from the DSM.

Heres the long answer :

Throughout history , asexuality has brought out bigots to talk about how “unnatural” it is and how it obviously is a “mental illness/disorder” bc experiencing sexual attraction is always considered an inherent experience to almost all living beings.There are many medical and psychological articles either directly referring to asexuality as a disorder or referring its main indicators like “lack of sexual attraction,sexual feelings towards other people”etc as a mental disorder.

But the most well known instance of pathologization of asexuality is the  HSDD (Hypoactive sexual desire disorder).It has been in both The International Classification of Diseases and  Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders both which are used by mental health professionals and psychologists to diagnose people.

There was a huge pushback against HSDD by asexual activists bc it categorized all indicators of asexuality like lack of sexual attraction,sexual fantasies towards other people and lack of sexual desire etc as a disorder.As a result,  asexuality was officially given an exception in the DSM-V by stating that if a person experiencing all the symptoms of HSDD self ID’d as asexual then they wont be diagnosed with it.This seemed a good enough thing to do and acephobes keep bringing it up to show how “different HSDD is from asexuality” and how “The medical world has “”accommodated”” itself for the comfort of ace people” but this act and the whole concept of a “Hypoactive sexual desire disorder” are considered problematic and have been put through questions not only by ace people, but feminists and activists too . Heres why :

1. The person STILL has to identify as asexual to be not diagnosed.Asexuality still isnt as visible and well known of an orientation so  if a person doesn’t know that they’re asexual, the DSM does no work to sufficiently differentiate between these “sexual disorders” and a sexual identity. so it could very well happen that someone who doesn’t know that they’re asexual is convinced by a therapist that they have a sexual abnormality that needs to be corrected(x)  .Taking into consideration the fact that a lack of sexual attraction is still seen as a sign of “brokenness” etc , the aphobia ace people face from their peers,how sex is seen an inherent part of one’s relationship and the immense number of ace people who experience internalized aphobia, theres a higher chance of ace people being pressurized into lying about not being ace and being made to go through treatment of HSDD .

2. The asexuality exception is not included in the diagnostic criteria, but a different part of the text. The desk reference version, which is the smaller version most psychiatrists will use because the actual DSM is a monster of a book, only contains the diagnostic criteria. So, unless a doctor is very familiar with the update DSM, you could still be diagnosed despite identifying as asexual. (X)

3.The DSM is put out by the APA, an American organization and is not used internationally in ALL countries.The international appx. equivalent to the DSM is the ICD (International Classification of Diseases) where an exception of asexuality is NOT made like they did in DSM-V. So many countries where DSM-V is not followed are free to diagnose ace people with almost no repercussions.

4.There is till NO distinction made between HSDD and asexuality and all indicators of asexuality are still considered “symptoms” of HSDD. the DSM does no work to sufficiently differentiate between these “sexual disorders” and a sexual identity. so it could very well happen that someone who doesn’t know that they’re asexual is convinced by a therapist that they have a sexual abnormality that needs to be corrected(x) Just putting “All these signs are of HSDD unless a person identifies as asexual” is literally the same as saying “Being attracted to the same gender and/or being attracted to more than two genders is a disorder unless a person identifies as gay/bi”.In fact a very very similar thing was done to homosexuality in the DSM before homosexuality was deleted off entirely as a disorder.

5.Im not even gonna get into the fact that alot of people have pointed out how  the big push to keep HSDD in the DSM came from the pharmaceutical companies who need this diagnosis to exist so thatthey can market a drug called Flibanserin and both of these thingshave been called out by both ace as well as non ace feminists bc studies showed it improved very little in terms of sexual satisfaction in its participants and has potentially big risks(x) and  MANY women disinterested in sex(weather ace or not) were pressurized to undergo treatment of HSDD and use flibanserin bc of the misogynist belief that women need to put out more than care about their safety white taking it bc thats not the point of this post.

But just for yalls consideration : Just bc there is a disorder in the DSM doesnt mean that its legit.Female hysteria,homosexuality were considered disorders.As an amazing post here said : “until psychology stops operating in terms of “inappropriate behavior” and starts looking at patients’ experiences of symptoms as stressful and unpleasant, it will be an enforcement of ableism first and an aid to the mentally ill last.”  . Unless someone goes through some trauma which make them LOSE their capability to feel sexual attraction and desire,i’ll consider any “disorder” which automatically assumes lack of sexual attraction and desire “unnatural”, as doubtful .

So  yeah , asexuality still technically remains pathologized and ace people still are at a risk of being diagnosed and being forced/pressurized to undergo treatments which arent usually even that effective and have health risks associated with them.On to the next topic :

2.Can ace people call the trauma and abuse they went through  when people tried to “convert ace people back to normalcy” and “fix” their asexuality  “conversion therapy”?

First off, Read THIS And THIS. Now,

Short answer,Yes. Maybe they might not be under the threat of going through the EXACT conversion therapy which involves basically torture and is legal in like 36/41 states IN AMERICA but then again, so arent those gay people who didnt/dont/wont be living/going to those 36/41 states IN AMERICA but have/are/will be  tried to be “converted back to” straightness by their peers.Any way in which non straight people are forced/pressurized to be converted into straight by so called “professionals” and “medical experts” counts as conversion therapy to me bc at the end of the day it doesnt really matter WHAT word you define it as when those trying to “fix” non straight people’s non straightness view those non straight people as someone who needs “fixing”.

Also, saying that ace people’s experience when their peers were trying to “fix” their asexuality isnt AS bad as what gay people go through when their gayness is tried to be “fixed” is…not a good thing to say.Trauma isnt a competition.Telling a person with a sprained leg that another person has a  fractured leg doesnt make the first person’s sprained leg hurt any less

Heres the long answer :

Here is the thing.The most “well known”  conversion therapy(and in aphobes’ case,the conversion therapy they keep bringing up to discourage ace people from calling their trauma involving attempts to fix them “conversion therapy” ) is the one which is legal in 36 or 41(The data keeps differing from diff sources) states in AMERICA ONLY and basically involves showing homoerotic images and videos to gay/bi people and inflicting some sort of violence/harm on them when them and/or their mind and/or their body shows any sort of interest on such images till they form an aversion to same gender attraction and other forms of torture.I described it as PG rated as possible but if anyone is interested and is NOT at the risk of being triggered they can read the whole process here(x).

Aphobes keep arguing that since no clinic advertises that they will “convert ace people back to normalcy” ,and even IF some ace person IS forced to undergo treatment of HSDD ,their experience doesnt matches the EXACT amount of abuse and trauma gay people go through during conversion therapy, aces arent “allowed” to call their experiences “conversion therapy”.Now , anyone with common sense and general morality will realize how bullshit this is bc aphobes are just putting their american centric rhetorics over ALL aces in THIS WORLD(bc they are ALWAYS considering the american conversion therapy)but i’ll still just prove how WRONG this argument is :

1.This argument is only AMERICA CENTRIC.Aphobes keep saying that since ace people dont go through the exact conversion therapy which is legal in 36/41 states in america,they cant call it “conversion therapy”.Now america is only one country.There are 193 countries in this world.The “valid”Conversion therapy is only there in america.But HOMOPHOBIA is there in ALL countries of this world.Now, If we consider aphobes’ argument as legit, then it would imply that any gay person who suffered through the trauma and abuse of having their identity turned into “straight” by their peers in any country OTHER THAN AMERICA CANNOT call their experiences “Conversion therapy”.That means all the gay people who faced torture in russia (especially in Chechnya)to be “fixed” cannot call their experiences “conversion therapy”.Gay people in Brazil and Jamaica who are tried to be “fixed” cannot call their experiences conversion therapy.I live in south asia,we dont even HAVE any special places dedicated to “convert” gay people.But there are many instances where gay people are hauled to the nearest “religious medical practitioners” who abuse and torture them for WEEKS to “cure” them.I guess those gay people cant even call their experiences “conversion therapy”.THIS IS HOW RIDICULOUS APHOBES SOUND.

2.Not every ace conversion therapy is caused by going through the treatment of HSDD : There are many ace people who have been told that it was their asexuality ITSELF that was a disorder and went through abusive therapies to “cure” it which led to some people ending up self-isolating until they ended up in a psych hospital and some people felt broken and alone after that(x).Many health professionals simply pass off asexuality as some  symptomatic of deeper mental health problem and thus not every ace who might have been tried to be “converted back to normalcy” might have been gone through quite a rough treatment too.

3.Telling people that their trauma isnt “”really that bad”” isnt a good thing.Telling them that their trauma  dosent really “”qualify”” enough to be considered “”real”” conversion therapy isnt good.Oppression and traumas arent a competition.The abuse and torture gay people go through during conversion therapy isnt gonna make the trauma ace people go through “better” or less severe.Telling women that “at least they arent being human trafficked and beaten by their husbands everyday like in middle east” isnt gonna make them feel better when they are catcalled or sexually harassed at work.If ace people are tried to be “”fixed”” by being forced/pressurized undergo “” treatments”�� by so called “professionals” and “medical experts” , it counts as conversion therapy to me bc at the end of the day, ace people’s orientation is still being seen as “something to be fixed into straightness”.

So yeah, ace people CAN call all the abuse they go through to be “fixed” of their asexuality “conversion therapy”.Now that we are done, here are a few examples of ace people talking about their fears and/or experiences about conversion therapy which i havent provided already

If you really want to respect lgbtqa people who have gone through conversion therapy,try to make this world a better place for lgbtqa people so that their identity isnt seen as something to be fixed.Telling group of people you are bigoted against that they cant call their experiences of tried to be fixed “conversion therapy” isnt gonna do SHIT to help the community you think you are trying to protect.Saying that No ace person has EVER went to conversion therapy bc there are “valid proofs” is disgusting.

Asexuality IS a highly marginalized orientation and all your refutes against it WILL be debunked and shot down bc we have sources and real people’s accounts on our sides which is supported by many prominent lgbtqa organizations across the world.All aphobes have is bigotry and a bunch of followers who eat up whatever they say without applying any critical thinking skills to it.

#aphobia #tw conversion therapy #mod roma #ref #tw abuse #if you want this tagged with more triggers please tell me i will #i dont have time rn coz i gotta do something #imp

[being-demisexual]

Hello! It's my first time asking a question related to sexuality so bear with me 🙏🙏 So about 2 weeks ago i found out that i identify with biromantic demisexual. But after reflecting a bit more, im not too sure again. whether i identify demi romantically or sexually. Tho i am totally bi (if that makes sense?). I've had many crushes (or was it squishes?) tho there were only a few that I'd really like to have a relationship/deeper connection with. (1/?)

Rn im like attracted to an aro friend of mine, but im scared to let her know about this. I dont want to jeopardize our friendship (we recently got to know each other more than a month ago) so lm kinda confused to what i am really feeling now. (2/2) 

So I just wanted to let you know that you send the second part of this ask in while not anonymous, but I’m answering it here since I’m assuming this is how you wanted it answered. If you would prefer it to be private, dm me and I’ll take this post down and then we can talk there!

Broadly speaking, there’s a lot of overlap between by and aspec identities, which is why the communities have, historically speaking, been very closely tied. Many, many bi people used to identify as ace/aro and vice versa, by virtue of attraction (or lack thereof) being mostly the same towards all genders. It makes complete sense to me that you would bi, but also possibly demiromantic and/or demisexual. 

For me, personally, I don’t differentiate between sexual and romantic attraction, which is pretty common among a lot of people. Sure, there are plenty of people allo people might be sexually attracted to, but not date. Generally speaking, however, allo people tend to date only those they find sexually attractive, and it’s a given for many relationships that romance and sex are intertwined. So when I say that I’m demisexual, that doesn’t necessarily preclude me from being demiromantic simply because I don’t make a distinction between the two in my mind. So you can be bi and also demiromantic and demisexual at the same time if you think similar to me. Obviously, for those that do like to make/feel a distinction between sexual and romantic attraction, that’s totally fine!

In regards to your aro friend, you might want to see what they’re comfortable with, romance wise. To most of my friends, I’m out as ace, but, of course, I’m actually demi. It’s possible that your aro friend is gray-aro or demiromantic or something else. It’s also possible that your aro friend wants to have a queer platonic relationship (QPR). Now, a lot of people think that a QPR is simply being “best friends,” but it actually goes a lot deeper than that. I have a best friend, and we live in different cities, and we talk sometimes, and while I might seek her advice or input on something, I would never structure my life under the assumption that it needs to fit hers. Even though I love her to death. Queer platonic partners is like dating without the romance. You would make decisions together, like a couple in a committed, if new, relationship would. Like, if you change suddenly change jobs or want to move to a new apartment or adopt a cat or go on a impromptu vacation for the weekend, generally you need to discuss those types of things with your partner to make sure everyone is on the same page. You don’t usually need to discuss it with your friends before hand, except to mention that it’s already happening and you just want them to be aware. If you do want to have something deeper with your aro friend, and they are aromantic and not gray-aro, demi aro, or anything else, than it might be worth it to see how they feel about having a QPR.

Anyway! I hope this helped! And good luck with your friend. Even if all you two do is remain friends, you sound like a really awesome friend to have. 

#answered

[women-only]

I'm sorry it came out really long I'm gonna send it by pieces we humans are split into these categories              M: male          and             F:        female these categories have different identites: M: can be man (gc or gnc) , diasphoric man, diasphoric man who had transitioned (trans women) F: can be woman (gc or gnc) , diasphoric woman, diasphoric woman who had transitioned (trans men). I'll send the rest

(other messages are under the keep reading)

now about sexualities: if someone is attracted to opposite category (regalredess of identity) : heterosexual someone attracted to people within the same category (regardless of identity) homosexuality      if it's within category M :gay      if it's within category F: lesbian *someone attracted to both categories (regardless of identity) : bisexual.

ps. some hot takes. *pansexuality is bisexuality with extra steps you're not special you're just pretentious *if you're NOT sexually attracted to any category but have romantic feelings you're ace (so just replace sexuality with romantic suffix in identities that fits you) *if you're ace and HETERO romantic you're not part of the LGBT cause you don't face any oppression for "not wanting to fuck but occasionally falling in love" if you do it's more likely because of your sex.

if you're ace and HETERO romantic you're not part of the LGBT cause you don't face any oppression for "not wanting to fuck but occasionally falling in love" if you do it's more likely because of your sex. example: that ace woman who was killed by her bf because sadly male entitlement to women's bodies is a thing. *ace homo/bi romantic people don't need the A since they're already in the L/G/B (and i read somewhere that it used to mean Ally

* q**r is a slur and explains nothing about you, having it in the LGBT acronym adds nothing (and I'm pretty sure the Q was meant to mean Questioning) also you never see someone refer to a black historical figure as "n***** icon" so why does the expression "q**** icon" exist to describe people who probably heard it as an insult their whole life till the day they died.

hey this is the anon who posted multiple times I'm trying to finish my thread since Tumblr only allows 5 anon asks per hour and i don't feel comfortable with public . . . reclaiming a slur means other people can't even pronounce it that's why lesbian don't say f*g and gay men can't say d*ke. if you wanna use it on yourself good but don't normalize people outside of the lgbt using it so freely and casually and if someone from the LGBT doesn't like you using it on them they're more than valid.

*if you having sex with your s/o can make human babies you're not homo anything. *if you're in a heterosexual relationship but both of you are bi you're part of the LGBT as individuals not a couple. and that's ok *bisexuals don't stop being bisexuals if they're in het or homo relationship. *gay is not an umbrella term. *puberty blockers = bad *transitioning kids = child abuse *doctors who see dysphoric people as a cash grab are scum *being non binary doesn't make any sense just say you're gnc

* I don't know much about intersex but I'm pretty sure it's just used by people to push their agendas and people rarely care like they should be about intersex people the T used to mean transvestite not Trangender .... and "straight" Ts are already either the L or G and if they're heterosexual Ts then don't face oppression because of sexuality per say so the T doesn't really fit now nowadays especially since people are more open to ppl wearing unconventional clothes

and the T of now compared to the rest of the letters doesn't fit (the first are about sexuality and the last is about expression) the T before belonged because it challenged the norms (and most of people from it belong to 2 letters in the LGBT) but since those norms have changed. *the T now should stand on its own as a movement (and occasionally intertwine with the LBG when it fits)

people deny sex based oppression but i find it ironic that in the T the only voices you hear are trans women especially "transbians" aka straight males and trans men are pushed to the side and degraded on a sex based level (example threats f**ced impregnation and stuff) and their only achievements that reach the news are pregnancy. trans women are given positions women position but trans men get nothing.

continued... people saying drop the T doesn't mean stop caring about trans people altogether or deny them basic human rights. but you can't sit around and let someone hijack your movement guilty trip you into sleeping with them. make you feel like a bigot for who you're sexually attracted to, work on erasing you. like you don't see white people representing the BLM (and they shouldn't) they can only support it as allies....

Segway back to pansexuality I said it somewhere else but here we go pan works in fictional settings especially sci-fi or fantasy let me explain by giving an example: SpongeBob aka the first time i heard about the term pan spongebob is a fucking taking sponge and interacts with different species within that universe like obviously his sexuality isn't gonna be limited to the human sex binary (some cartoons do but you get what i mean)....

same goes for loki who is pan and gender bending like duh the fucker not only ISN'T human he can switch to any entity, object, animal and shit the lore of marvel has living robots mutants gods animals spirits, pretty sure he gave birth to a horse once having someone attracted to personality makes sense then end of rant i just wanna say thanks for letting me post here and sorry for posting so much it ended up being 4.5k letters oof p.s if any ask was submitted publicly please make them anonymous

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everything you said is absolutely true and you summed it all up well. it creeps me out when people label fictional characters as pan or ace or trans because not only is pan and ace not a real fucking thing, neither are those characters. idk its just creepy. 

thank you for taking the time to write this ll out and send it over to me. im happy to read anything else you have to say :) sorry i dont have much to say about all this i dont have the ability right now to think critically. 

#asks #answered #anonymous

[ixxixixxi]

fuk

my best friend now is telling me how shes eating kiwi and she may be mildly allergic to it but she likes it anyway and it reminded me of my best friend in 8th grade who i was mildly in love with who would eat oranges but she was def allergic and her mouth would get blotchy and sting and her tongue would get itchy and she’d run around fanning at herself but liked oranges too much to stop and im pretty sure the first time i saw her do that was idk if the first but def one of the most memorable memories i have of her i think because i realized i was def in love with her and wanted to kiss her but sdkjfhshjdfsf obviously my repressed little ass did Not do that bc i just am not sjdhfshdf someone who wants to tell people i like that i like them esp not her but anyway i shdjfhsdf 

i just got rly sad and then it also really does not help that lately ive been wondering like am i also kind of in love with this friend???? i dont know i genuinely dont know??? sometimes im like no theres no way bc its just not the same as jhdfshjd with other people but at the same time the two times im somewhat certain i was in love before didnt feel exactly the same either but this i mean with this friend i ?? am i repressing my own feelings, am i too scared to let myself feel that?? i dont know and if i did feel that would i want to tell her I DEFINITELY DONT know about that either 

and like one of my biggest fears is it turning out that im just lonely and pushed romanticized daydreams onto her bc shes like the only person i talk to and if that was the case i could never tell her that and hurt her somehow or make things weird bc like a few years ago she tolkd me shdjsahds shjdsad hsshdjhshdh yknow........ she felt that ffffff for me but we dhfsjhd i was i  was just i literally at the time wasnt even processing romantic feelings like i was just rejecting them left and right whenever i felt them and not letting myself think abt that stuff at all and i literally was going through a crisis like am i ace?? am i just aromatnic?? but since then i think i settled on the fact that i probably am not aro im def bi in p much all aspects but i have so much anxiety and intimacy issues bc of my garbage father that the idea of someone else liking me makes me want to be sick a little bit.... which is something i still have not let myself think too hard about bc i feel like itll open an entirely new part of my insecure brain that i dont want to face probably...BUT ANYWAY. 

flirting is so good and fun but its also awful bc it makes me like people and then the thought of them liking me genuinely and not just joking around makes my stomach turn and idk if its in a bad way or good way yknow?? i remember there was also this girl i liked before (ok what the hell i swear i typically like guys more and end up crushing on them more often than girls but all my crisis’ are over girls....why? also idk why im so fixated on which gender i like more often when im still attracted to literally anyone regardless of gender despite gender factoring into how my attraction feels....is this internalized biphobia) who as soon as she proclaimed her love 2 me i was immediately shaken and couldnt talk to her out of fear AND ALSO like she was sort of manipulative and awful sometimes which led to me not liking her but still the fact that as soon as she said she liked me i felt sick and scared and like couldnt speak to her why. why????

anyway what was i saying oh yeah idk THE FRUIT THIGN. it made me sad. it reminded me of when i realized i loved my 8th grade best friend and lately ive already been thinking about if im in love with this best friend or if im just hdfjhsfd i dont know i dont know what the fuck WOULDNT I KNOW FOR SURE THO if i was like wouldnt it be a definite yes or no? so since it not that must mean im not and im just being dhfjsdhf weird right?? am i just feeling extra gay lately and am projecting it on her? do i just want attention??? 

i dont know what the fuck is going on but i care abt this friend way too much to fucking mess with her emotions in any way and like i dhjfhjdf when she talks about this guy she liked i would get jealous sometimes but im not a very jealous person so its not like jshdhjsf intense jealousy but is that bc i dont rly like her and im just jealous of her giving attention and wanting to talk all the time to someone else OR am i jealous bc she liekd him i genuinely DONT KNOW? bc like sometimes i wouldnt be jealous tho except i still would be but hjsdjhsdf i dont know. do you see? i cant even understand my own intentions behind feelings. also like when things were going poorly between them i would get rly upset for her and definitely not happy about them not getting along, not even a little bit and if i liked her wouldnt i be glad shes talking to me instead of him? not rly tho bc 1 i would never want someone i like in any way be it romantic or platonic to be on bad terms with someone they care about, even if it benefits me somehow or makes them hang out with me more, thatd be awful and i get why other people feel that way sometimes but im grateful that i dont, and 2 i dont get jealous that way, the only time i get jealous is if someone is completely changing their attention from me to another person entirely, but if i still have some of their attention and theyre also friends/into/etc someone else its not rly an issue at all for me but is that bc thats just how my jealousy works?? or would it be different if i did love her in that way aND LIKE AM I CONFUSIGN romantic love with platonic love and ?? what the fuck

the thing is with a romantic partner i’d mostly just wanna do platonic things anyway?? and the only time i think of s** is in relation to my kinks which is weird i guess but shdfsjhdf i dont picture anything like that with someone i’d be romantically attracted to...do i? i dont know? ive never thought about it? in all my daydreams/fantasies/etc whoever im involved with s*xually hasnt ever been anyone specific just like a mix of everything im attracted to but isnt that normal? but then again love was definitely not involved in any of those fantasies, oh god. then again thats just ?? stuff in my head its not an indicator of what i’d like or be like in reality right with another person I >SDF?SDF SD?F AAAA what the fuck. 

maybe all of this will become clearer to me when i move the fuck out and am able to be myself and think clearly without worrying about what my idiot parents or brother will say abt anything i express. then again moving out seems like it will be another lifetime away, it doesnt even seem like a possibility right now which makes me want to fckn kneel over and die. AAAAA WHATEVER BYE

what the fucdjksdcsdkjsd i hate being a person with weird undecipherable emotions i wish i was a fucking dog or raccoon or god damn ROCK 

#txt #i am too sober to be analyzing my stupid feelings this mcuh

[fandomshatepeopleofcolor]

so im a latina woman that started writing original fiction based on my ocs who are all latinxs of different backgrounds. One of them is an aroace girl (18 y/o) and realizing that shes aroace is part of her character arc. Through one of her friends she learns of asexuality and realizes that it applies to her and that that's the reason why she always felt like she couldn't resonate with other people's experiences so well. Now, i'm not ace myself (im bi aro), but a (white) friend told me that (1/3)

it’s racist to have a woc (my oc’s a chicana girl who met the rest of the main characters on a trip to panama) be aroace because “we are always reduced to having no romantic plots/interests” and this way im “dehumanizing” her. However, she’s the only one of the main 4 characters who doesn’t have a romantic interest, and well, i’m kind of side-eyeing my friend bc she’s made some aphobic comments in the past, especially with the god-damned ace discourse, and it’s really not her place (2/3)

as a white woman to tell me, a latina, what’s racist (specifically anti-latinx) or not. It’s worried me, though, because I don’t want to have any stereotypes or harmful tropes on my work. I know you guys have talked about intersectionality with ace/aro orientations, and I respect your opinions on those matters, so that’s why i’m asking you, but I’m sorry if I’m imposing myself by asking this. Thank you for your time! 

No offense but from what you’re saying your friend is full of shit. You’re right that it’s not her place to speak about what’s racist or not, and if she’s not also aro and/or ace then she should not weight in in that respect. 

White fandom’s got a real knack for hc woc of certain ethnicities as aromantic so that they don’t get on the way of whoever they ship the main white with, or as asexual if they are not “desirable”. However, that doesn’t apply to ALL women of color in ALL cases. There is an ugly ass racist trend related to this (and it applies irl too, perhaps white people on the street don’t say that x woman of y race is asexual, but they ARE desexualised), but that should not erase our existence. If you’re an aro latina woman, you should be able to write about aro latina women.

An aro/ace latina woman of color is not a racist caricature at all, we’re very much real and we deserve as much representation as anyone else, thank you very much. We exist and we struggle coming to terms with our sexuality and a lot of us don’t even learn of it until we’ve grown because of it’s lack of visibility, which in turn can put is in situations that are damaging to ourselves. So representation is something that we desperately need and that no non-aro, non-ace white woman should take away from us because of some trend saying that all things asexual are ugly  that exists on tumblr dot com.

I don’t have all the facts of your characters and your stories with me, obviously, but its sounds like you’re in the right in this case. I’d say, if you need some kind of reference, that for your character to not fall into the harmful category of aro or ace headcanons (or canon, in this case, as this is your character we’re talking about), you should consider: 

a. are they the only character of color? the only representation of that particular race? Are all the characters of that race asexual and/or aromantic?b. is this character developed outside of their sexuality? is making them aroace/aro/ace just an excuse to let them be undeveloped or to not give them a romantic interest?c. are you painting their sexuality as something that makes them inherently inferior to their non-ace, non-aro, counterparts?, d. is their aromanticism and/or asexuality an obstacle that should be countered or ‘cured’? (tbh you should consider this one regardless of race),e. is it something that’s stated with canonical evidence, or did you just forget about them and then pulled the aroace card out of your ass cassandra clare-style?f. Do not mix up asexuality and desexualisation or being seen as undesirable, they are not the same and when writing ace characters of color you should keep an eye on how yo do it so that for writing the first you don’t end up doing the second - that IS harmful, racist, and it must be avoided. 

I think, if you consider that, you’re good to go (although if I’m forgetting something or if I’m wrong about something please let me know), and please tell your friend to mind her own business. Good luck on your story - from what you’re saying, it sounds promising!

Mod A - an aro ace latina.

PS - if you need more help on this, pretty sure you can find more about this at @fuckyeahasexual, they have helpful info and one of their mods is a PoC, so it’s not a white perspective, either. Of course, we should be able to help here, too.

#fhpoc asks #mod a. #anonymous #mod ara