#because midge is her 1 midge is the person she loves and would do anything for

[mrgaretcarter]

#tmmmedit #the marvelous mrs. maisel #midge maisel #susie myerson #rachel brosnahan #alex borstein #ohtendril #my stuff #i love that midge checked in because this was about both of them #and susie said go for it even if it mean shed be ruined #even if it meant everyone who relies on her would be ruined #dinah every other client #even if it meant theyd all go to shit #because midge is her 1 midge is the person she loves and would do anything for #but most of all midge was her ticket out midge jumpstarted her dreams midge made her world expand beyond the gaslight #and vise versa they owe each other everything and they were together forever

[wonderlandleighleigh]

123 Thoughts while watching The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel Season 1, episode 3: Because You Left

I l1. God I forgot we start on this flashback.

2. Fuck Joel Maisel, being shitty about Midge’s drink choice. “Yikes. We’ll work on that.” WHAT A HORRIBLE THING TO SAY TO ANOTHER PERSON!

3. I have so many thoughts on that one line. That maybe Midge WAS, at one point in her life, just maybe a little sweet, if a little rebellious, and Joel decided he was going to turn her into what he wanted out of a woman.

4. What he thought he wanted out of a woman.

5. And it.

6. Fucking.

7. Backfired.

8. Shoulda married Palmer.

9. He’s so fucking pushy and I hate it.

10. “You belong to Me” is their song. HEY LOOK MORE TERRIBLE CONTROLLING THINGS. Not only is it a little creepy to be like “I don’t know you that well but this is our song now.” But the title alone “You belong To Me” is fucked up.

11. I swear, if they get back together in season 5, I will rip my television off the wall and eat it.

12. “You’re destined for better things than this.” JOEL YOU ARE NOT BETTER THINGS. BETTER THINGS IS NOT YOU.

13. (Better things is Lenny’s dick.)

14. (Sorry, children)

15. I love that Midge helps the other jailbirds with the stains on their shirt. It’s such an unsettling conversation but Midge still wants to help.

16 She’s a naturally helpful person, turns out.

17. LOL Susie talking to Rose and being totally freaked out, and I love it.  Truly. Barely anything scares Susie. But Rose. Rose flips her out. Love it.

18. Rose is a badass and I love it.

19. LENNY BAILED HER OUT LENNY BAILED HER OUT LENNY BAILED HER OUT!

20. “You’re not Susie.”

21. “Nope.”

22. These two idiots. I love them so much I’m gonna cry god dammit.

23. Wearing his jacket. He rushes to open the door for her.

24. Just fucking get married.

25. Susie is having a NIGHT. Between Rose and Lenny. She just. Can’t catch a break tonight.

26. They really did fail at making Lenny look...not hot. Luke Kirby is too handsome.

27. AND THEN HE INVITES HER TO HIS GIIIIIIIGGGGGGGGGGGGG.

28. Rose and her grapefruit. Gilmore Girls Richard vibes.

29. “When did Zelda get married?” lol foreshadowing maybe?

30. Oh Rose. Poor Rose. She’s being severe here, but she’s really worried about Midge. As much as she’s failed Midge in other ways (teaching her all of the toxic bod image bullshit forever), she really does try her best to be a good mother. And I think a lot of the time, she does succeed. 

31. TMMM Rose and Lenny scene challenge I WANT IT.

32. I’m not going to get anything on my season 5 bucket list, I’m gonna have to write an entirely alternate season 5.

33. Again.

34. Abe is so clueless in season one. And he cares but he’s so absent. And he pays for it in season 2.

35. Ethan and the staring.

36. Poor Ethan. His dad up and fucks off, his mother is acting like a fucking fruitcake and he’s like four. He has no idea what’s happening. Of course he’s being a weirdo, WE ALL WOULD BE.

37. I do love Imogene, but she is so normcore in season 1.

38. Midge is so short. Imogene is SO SHORT.

39. “I brought it along on our second date. He was surprised.” LOL WE HAVIN BABIES ARCHIE GET USED TO IT.

40. Abe for fuck’s sake.

41. I know Rose and Abe want Midge to be settled and secure. I know. But Joel is not it. He is not it, and at this point even Midge knows that. She loses sight of that a few times, but like. JOEL IS NOT IT.

42. Oh Midge. That is. Too fancy for Kessler’s office.

43. We need more Kessler. GIVE US MORE KESLLER. GIVE US KESSLER DEFENDING LENNY.

44. LOL Susie on Midge’s tits. Just. The best.

45. “If you had just dressed for the meeting.” I love him.

46. Zelda’s notes. “You to be quiet.” I love it. I should start doing that lol.

47. Seconal is a hell of a drug man.

48. And also Rose is so weak-willed in this first season. Like maybe she’s being manipulative here with Abe but. It’s not a good look.

49. Midge is so proper in these early episodes.

50. HORSE FUCKER. lol

51. Midge just. She cannot keep her mouth shut. She cannot do it. And you know what? I wouldn’t be able to either. “Little lady.” Fuck that shit.

52. Thank you?

53. This judge is fucking awful.

54. Here we go.

55. Midge. Midge.

56. Aaand arrested again. Girl. Oh girl.

57. Ugh having to go to Joel. Hate it. Hate it. Hate it.

58. You fucked someone else and left, Dude. She doesn’t fucking trust you enough to tell you. Get used to it.

59. Abe looks...unhappy. To be at Maisel and Roth.

60. The music in this show makes me so happy.

61. Eater Island face lol.

62. One criticism of Moishe I totally agree with is how horrible it was for him to take back the apartment. His grandchildren were growing up in that apartment. Their safety and security should have come first. Not that Midge didn’t have anywhere to take them, Abe and Rose’s place is perfectly fine, and they spend plenty of time in Queens, once the Maisels move, but still. Those kids didn’t desserve to be jerked around that way, no matter how Midge and Joel (mostly Joel) were acting.

63. I never realized even back in the 50′s/60′s you had to pay for temple seats on high holy days. Fuck I’m so glad I never bothered with synagogue as an adult. As if life isn’t expensive enough.

64. Abe’s “My suits are good” shrug makes me happy. I know Tony Shalhoub isn’t Jewish, and as much as I wish they would have found someone who was...he does a good job of playing Abe as a Jewish man.

65. Kevin Pollack is a treasure.

66. THE 13 JEWS.

67. I also love Abe’s tie. It’s nice.

68. “Follow-through has never been in strong suit.” For. Fucking. Real.

69. I mean he came through with the money. That’s. Something.

70. God fuck. Poor Midge eating so much crow. I hate that for her. “After all. I am a woman.” Giiiiirl.

71. Fuck this Judge I hope he steps in dog shit every day forever.

72. UUGUGHGHEUOIERJLEJRLKEJ FUCK

73. Blind leading the blind. “It’s gonna work.”

74. Aw hugs. Gals bein’ pals (or girlfriends.)

75. Look, I can multiship with the best of them.

76. Mrs. Mouskowitz. Love her so much.

77. His plan is moving in with the dumb asshole girl he’s dating.

78. YES THE VANGUARD.

79. Lindsay and the threeeew!

80. AND LENNY! The Jewish and Goyish bit is so good. Listen to the original it’s so good.

81. Instant potatoes: SCARY GOYISH.

82. BOB BYHRE!

83. I love Lenny so much and we didn’t get enough of him in this show. We deserved more Lenny. I deserved more Lenny.

84. The bro vibes between them here are so good. They were always friends first and I just love that.

85. LOL Midge can hang. I love it so much.

86. Lenny is so tickled to be with Midge when she gets high for the first time. It’s adorable.

87. DO WE DO AN ACTIVITY?!

88. I think @theycallme-thejackal once wrote a fic where that activiy was a blowjob.

89. @theycallme-thejackal is the best.

90. Midge doesn’t carry pictures of her kids. I don’t know that my mom ever did either. My dad did I think, in his wallet.

91. AN ACTIVITY.

92. These stoned idiots trying to keep up with Midge good luck.

93. Whoseit’s got a head...the other’s got a...head.

94. Lenny’s genuine laugh there is so good. And he’s laughing at a parenting joke, because he’s probably thinking about Kitty and feeling the EXACT same way. “Are you fucking kidding? I don’t know what I’m doing holy shit!” I love that so much.

95. They’re not gonna get married. But they fucking should. Their connection is so good.

96. And maybe that’s delusional. I just love them.

97. Dear Midge: Some of us are just not moms. Trust me.

98. I want her to find out that Lenny is so boring at home.

99. Are those pretzels??

100. I tried to find the gif of Lenny’s face when she comes over to nom those pretzels and failed. It’s so good though.

101. also the face Lenny gives her when she walks over to sit down? I have been on the receiving end of that face from other people. I know it well. It’s happened.

102.We’re supposed to see the Friar’s Club in season 5. I dunno how that’s gonna go, but. I guess we’ll see.

103. I love Harry Drake. I hope we get a little more of him in season 5.

104. “Just be gentle.” Oh Lenny.

105. INVITED TO THE AFTERHOURS. GO MIDGE.

106. “You need me to be understanding or something?”

107. He’s so nice to her. The real Kitty Bruce has talked about how incredibly sweet her father was, and I love that we see shades of that in the show. He’s got a ton of problems, but there is so much kindness there.

108. And it’s in complete contrast to what we see from Joel in just a minute.

109. He gives her a joint as a lil gift. For later. Shit isn’t cheap. Kindness.

110. “WAIT WAS I SUPPOSED TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU?!” Love it.

111. Good job, Midge. You did good.

112. This flashback was in such a strange place. It felt really disjointed the first time I saw it. But again, it’s an interesting contrast between Lenny doing some light emotional lifting for Midge (The cab, the sympathy over her busted marriage, the joint, the parting joke to make her laugh) and Joel (letting Midge take care of him as usual).

113. Midge rollin’ up in the middle of the night, still a little buzzed. To this asshole.

114. And she liiiieeeesssss yessssss. Lie to him. He doesn’t deserve to know you got high with Lenny Bruce.

115. I’ve said this before. His “I don’t care what you needed the money for” is such crap. You SHOULD care. If you care about her, WHY DON’T YOU CARE?! Is it because you trust her? Or because you only care about yourself? I can’t tell.

116. “I’m thinking of giving it another go.” No sorry. No nothing. Just expecting to be let back into her life. Fuck’s sake.

117. Oh Abe.

118. Good for Midge telling him no. Because he fucked up and he’s not even fucking sorry. HE IS NOT SORRY! And she knows it. And he left.

119. Look at this piece of shit run away. Just. Not even an argument. Not even trying to change her mind. Just shakes his head and walks off like that piece of garbage he truly is.

120. Maybe that’s harsh. But he didn’t even try. Because he’s not sorry. He just wants to live comfortably again. He doesn’t care that he hurt her.

121. HE DOES NOT CARE THAT HE HURT MIDGE. Anyone who actually cared would not act like this.

122. And Abe finally understands just how terribly hurt Midge is. Though I’m not sure if that look on his face is because he’s hurting for her, or because his ploy to get them back together failed. Maybe both.

123. I love this episode. It is an al-time favorite. It establishes Midge and Lenny as friends with a new, but solid bond. It has some great Susie moments, and a great Midge set. Great stuff with Abe and Rose and Abe and Moishe. It’s so solid. I think it might be my favorite season 1 episode. <3

#The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel #Midge Maisel #Fictional Lenny Bruce #Joel is still the worst

[plotandburn]

Harry gets adopted by

ok so, before anything starts let's get to the rules:

No reader-inserts, self-inserts or unhappy endings are allowed.

spanking, watersports, extremely underage ships or parent/child incest are only allowed if portrayed on a negative light.

Peter Petigrew and Dolores Umbridge must be bashed

Dumbledore must be gay and atracted to Grindewalt and Grindewalt alone.

poor grammar is not allowed (you don't need a beta but at least use grammarly some form of grammar corrector)

You are not allowed to bash Severus Snape, Sirius Black,Draco Malfoy or Remus Lupin.

8.Ok so...this will be divided into two sections: Gloria and Barbie. In the Gloria section you can adjust the timeline to fit Hp canon but the Barbie section must be written in the timeline of the movie only

9.since in the movie Barbie said that she does not love Ken you are must NEVER pair him with her!

10. Oh and you must get rid of Gloria's creepy underdevolped husband at some point,regardless of the prompt you pick (i don't care if you kill him,make him cheat, turn him into a pedo or...whatever just GET RID OF HIM).

11. Hagrid can only be paired with Madame Maxine and no one else

12. Mad Eye Moody and Amelia Bones can't be paired with anyone

13. Minerva Mcgonagal can only be paired with Poppy Pomfrey or anyone on the staff that she never taugh herself.

14. Crabbe and Goyle can only be paired with Daphne Greengrass, Astoria Greengrass, Milicent Bulstrode, Susan Bones, Hannah Abbot, each other or an Oc.

With that said, let's go:

1.

Ok so....in this version i'd imagine that, Gloria never donated Sasha's barbie's as...well...once Harry got to Hogwarts , he decided to use the barbies to help his mom visualize what happened on his school year, using the ken's and barbies that more resemble the people he meets at hogwarts. My suggestions:

Doctor Ken : Severus Snape (who is very pleased by that once he finds out)

Beauty and The Beast Ken: Lucius Malfoy

Wedding day Ken: Draco Malfoy

My first Ken (The black version): Blaise Zabini

Sky Fun Midge: Ginny Weasley

Cameraman Ken: Colin Creevy

Movie Star Ken: Cedric Digorry

Stereotipical Barbie: Fleur Delacour

Beach day Ken: Bill Weasley (for no other reason that he is Fleur's mate and beach day Ken was literally made for stereotypical Barbie)

Rock Star Ken: Sirius Black

Scottish Barbie: Hermione Granger

two identical Ken's of your choosing(one of them having been bought because Sasha tought she lost the first one): The Weasley Twins

and.......well....ypu figure out the rest.

Anyway,because the Barbie's and Ken's are used as representations of other people, they sudenly start acquiring personality traits of those people and randomly quoting them. Some aren't all that bothered by it but some, like the Ken's chosen to represent Severus and Voldemort are really pissed by it, so they decide to go to the real world with stereotipical barbie to find out what's going on (you can chosse how many will acompany her).

At some point, Harry goes to Barbieland with Gloria,Sasha, Sirius and either Severus,Remus or the weasley's.

I imagine a Harry raised by Gloria would probably either be a griff or a puff 'cause while he would admire his cool, no nonsense older sister, he would be a major mamma's boy.

Recomended ships for Gloria: Barbie, Dora Tonks, Charlie, Bill,Sirius or Remus

2.

Ok so.....in this instance Harry would only come into Barbie's life once she choses to become a real human. I imagine this Harry would be a metrosexual with a foundness for pink but he would be more responsible than canonically since his mom adopts him not long after the end of the movie so she is still grasping what it truly means to be a human. I imagine he goes with his mom to Barbieland every now and then and views all the other dolls as extended family. This Harry would probably be a puff or a raven.

Recomended ships for Barbie: Gloria,Severus,Sirius,Nymphadora, Fleur or Remus.

Regardless of the prompt you pick, do try to ultilize the dolls that had few or no lines in the movie.Figure out their personlities and have fun.

oh,and if you want to write a more serious fict go ahead,sure this premise is perfect for crack but it does not have to be crack if you don't want it to.

#plot bunny #harry potter #harry potter gets adopted by #harry potter is raised by othes #barbie #barbie movie 2023 #barbie 2023 #the barbie movie #barbie the movie #barbie film #pro severus snape #pro snape #pro sirius black

[highly-important]

Mrs Maisel and Meaningful Choices

Ok one more Mrs Maisel thinkpiece. (maybe not the last.) This is based on some stuff I was screaming into the void onto Reddit but I like Tumblr more.

One of the ways you can define a fictional character is by the difficult decisions they have to make. Its a way to test a character and show what they're really made of.

In season 2, Midge has to choose between comedy or a beloved position at the makeup counter. And after Benjamin proposes to her, Midge chooses to tour with Shy Baldwin instead.

We as the audience understand what is at stake with these choices. Choosing one means sacrificing the other. And this choice defines who Midge is as a character. She cares more about her comedy career than she does makeup or romance.

But I think where season 4 is stagnating is Midge doesn't have the same types of choices anymore.

Season 4 is about self-sabotage. Sophie's talk show said it out loud. We have Lenny's addictions, Susie working with the mob again, Susie's magician, Abe's theater review, Shy's whole deal, and Rose being asked by the matchmaker mafia to ditch her highest paying and highest profile client yet.

We know Midge messed up at the Apollo because she was afraid of bombing, but we also don't know why she picked the jokes she did when she established she had other material to work with. She had a less destructive and less hurtful option but for some reason didn't take it.

Midge pledges in s4 e1 to not be an opener for someone else, but after getting desperate for money she agrees to warm up the crowd at Sophie Lennon's show. This is one of the first interesting choices she has to make. I guess that the show is trying to say that by fighting Sophie, Midge is taking back her dignity. But couldn't she have just walked away with her dignity by not engaging in Sophie's petty jealousy? Midge knows shes funnier than Sophie, she doesn't have to prove it.

TMM persists in pretending that Midge is always in the right, but she is self-sabotaging and completely unaware of anyone else's problems. This could be really interesting if the show let her be anything but perfect. She sacrificed so much in the name of being great at comedy, something which was potentially a soul-destroying choice. Her sets have a lot of collateral damage. But Midge is always presented as a victim and never a villain.

In the past she had to choose between things she loved and having a comedy career. Now she is presented with multiple options, but chooses the options that are the most self-destructive. Its why, in my opinion, her character isn't as compelling this season or why her scenes feel stagnant.

(Also, as an aside: ASP doesn't seem to get the problem why essentially outing Shy in front of a huge audience at the Apollo would be a friable offense. Midge got to perform her long apology guilt trip, which is weird because a few episodes ago she was more concerned with the fact that she killed during the set, and then Midge got to see Shy being punished. Forced into a sham wedding, his entire team gutted by management that only cares about Shy's career and not him as a person. Its insane how this was handled. Midge truly felt entitled to something despite her behavior. Also, she is constantly taking out her anger with Shy on other black men. First she’s hitting a random taxi cab driver’s car with a branch, then she’s knocking a platter out of a black waiter’s hands. wtf)

Its also why I think the strip club stuff is the most interesting part of her plot this season, because its the only time we've seen Midge do the dirty work of building her career. She is carving out a space for herself. We are actively seeing her make a situation better not just for herself, but for other women (and the men who are reluctantly admitting she's improving the business.) But she is also not being forced to make any difficult choices. It also feels a little flat because Midge has done this before; season 1 when she performed at house parties. Midge might think she's carving out a space for herself, but she is also hiding from her career.

#tmmm #tmmm s4 #marvelous mrs maisel #midge maisel

[uswnt-nation]

unfortunately I'm in the west coast so the roster dropped at 5:30am. it's been a long busy day but finally here are my 2 cents: it's not perfect but considering everything that happened in the last 1½ year, it's pretty solid.

everyone knew alyssa naeher would be #1 & ad franch #2. you can argue about this until you're blue in the face, it won't change vlatko's mind. AD 100% deserves it. jane campbell was just covering for her but that spot always belonged to AD. very impressed with her comeback after being out for the most part of 2020.

obviously becky sauerbrunn, abby dahlkemper, crystal dunn, kelley o'hara were locks. tierna davidson was also a lock because she's the next starting centreback alongside abby once becky retires. regardless of anyone's personal opinions on emily sonnett, it was inevitable she'd be on the roster. a year ago I would've said otherwise. she was inconsistent, lacked confidence, & was often caught out of position leading to turnovers & reckless fouls. she improved & became more stable in the backline. vlatko always spoke highly of her because he values her versatility.

midge purce is versatile & has potential to be the next crystal dunn, but isn't quite there yet. vlatko should've given her more chances up top, but she was never a threat to the other forwards. I was sure she beat sophia smith to the alt spot but I guess vlatko decided they both needed to develop in nwsl. happy for casey krueger as an alt. this woman has been snubbed time & time again. I personally think she should've been on the WC roster in 2019 but that's a different story.

rose lavelle, sam mewis, lindsey horan - no surprises. julie ertz was a wild card because no one knew where she stood in her recovery. I think it came down to kristie/cat/andi where 2 of them would go if ertz wasn't fit, 1 if she was. if she wasn't, I would've brought andi sullivan but vlatko seems to be against players playing in their actual positions (see: midge, crystal, horan, etc.)

vlatko clearly favoured catarina macario above andi & kristie but she never got time to connect with the team. her games against colombia weren't much competition & she looked lost against canada. going as an alt will benefit her in the long run because she needs this experience. her time will come.

kristie mewis !!!! so proud of her & she deserves this so much. glad she proved everyone wrong when people kept saying she had no chance of making the roster or would go as an alt. people said cat was more versatile but everyone forgot how vlatko subbed kristie in as a defensive mid & left winger in TWO games. in the words of kristie, I guess people wanted to be delusional. full offense & in the most disrespectful way possible, fuck all of yall for doubting her.

christen press has been carrying uswnt these past few months. regardless if you think megan rapinoe is past her prime, you can't count her out because she brings leadership & quality set pieces to the team. if I didn't know better, at one point it seemed vlatko was leaning towards carli lloyd over alex morgan because he stated how she still had to prove herself after recovering from childbirth + covid. that's probably why she suddenly started caring about orlando. either way there was no doubt these 4 were locks.

tobin was another wild card & everyone said lynn would take her place. lynn williams has been on my list as an alt since last year. she's speedy, stretches the field, delivers great defensive work, & is a likeable person. but her finishing is not it. goals aren't everything but there was no way lynn would beat tobin or any of the other forwards for that matter. idk why people were stubborn & loved bringing up her nwsl stats as if it has anything to do with uswnt performance. uswnt is not nc. just because she excels at club doesn't mean she excels at country. plus stats aren’t everything. she's a great player but not fit for uswnt system at the moment which is why she is & always was going to be an alt. if she improves her technical abilities + finishing then I could see her on the roster in 2023.

with that being said, I'm glad everyone who doubted tobin heath can finally shut the fuck up. tobin was 100% recovered by june but it was her fitness vlatko was concerned about, which is an easy fix. to this day I still don't understand how everyone listed ertz in their roster predictions but not tobin when ertz still isn't even fully recovered yet?? but they're both on the roster so that discourse can finally be put to rest. 

anyways this roster is solid & uswnt is set to bring home the gold. kudos to you if you actually read through the whole thing.

#uswnt #alyssa naeher #ad franch #jane campbell #becky sauerbrunn #crystal dunn #abby dahlkemper #tierna davidson #midge purce #sophia smith #casey krueger #kristie mewis #sam mewis #rose lavelle #catarina macario #andi sullivan #lindsey horan #julie ertz #christen press #tobin heath #lynn williams #megan rapinoe #alex morgan #carli lloyd #tokyo olympics

[entertainment]

Entertainment Spotlight: Will Vought, The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel

Actor, comedian, and writer Will Vought stars in the most recent season of the critically acclaimed dramedy series, The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel. Additional television credits include The Good Wife, The Good Fight, both Lipstick Jungle and Love Bites, Bones, and Wilfred. Will is also an accomplished comedian, having toured the country opening for Wayne Brady. He got his start in the entertainment industry by contributing to Scott Shannon’s #1 morning show on 95.5 WPLJ, offering David Letterman updates and recaps, which opened the door for him to work for Late Night with Conan O’Brien. Following his work with Conan, Will was offered a position in the West Wing of the White House, working for former President Bill Clinton, where he still continued his radio work on the weekends as the youngest morning show host in the country at just 22 years old. Will went on to serve as head writer for Wayne Brady during his time hosting the The Late Late Show prior to James Corden in 2014 on CBS, and he continues to collaborate with renowned actor and comedian Paul Reiser, including shopping a television pilot they wrote together with Julie Bergman. We got the chance to ask him some questions. Check it out:

Do you have a favorite character arc from season 3 of The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel?

For Season 3, I’m finding myself really interested in Susie and her journey. I don’t want to spoil it for those getting ready to start the new season or binge the series; however, in the first two seasons, Susie’s been hustling and primarily being of service to Midge while her personal life hangs on by a thread. In season 3, there are so many more layers introduced and opportunities that will ripple into not only her clout as a comedy manager but also her personal life. Also, I’m really invested in Lenny Bruce. Having read so much about him to see his plight on screen told through Amy’s lens is incredible. I don’t know anyone in comedy that doesn’t appreciate what Lenny Bruce did for comedians. The end of the Season 3 premiere is absolutely priceless seen thought the eyes of Tony Shalhoub’s Emmy Award-winning performance as Abe Weissman - Midge’s father.

If everything that you did was narrated, whose voice would you want narrating your life?

HA! That is a great question, and I’ve had to think about it. At first, I thought of the late great voice-over artist Don LaFontaine who moviegoers would remember as the “In A World…” guy who made millions voicing almost every movie trailer ever! BUT…truth be told I think that I would love Seinfeld's voice and lens, and I think it would make my day to day activities far more entertaining to listen to, especially when on the phone with my therapist.  

Can you tell us about a time you bombed (on stage or in an audition)?

Well…the thing that pops to mind was an audition for NBC’s series called Lipstick Jungle. At the time, I was living on Long Island and decided to make the mistake of driving into Manhattan for the audition. Traffic was abhorrent, and you would think that there were mass casualties on the Long Island Expressway resulting in me being almost an hour and forty-five minutes late for the audition. The director of that episode was the one and only Timothy Busfield, whom I loved on Arron Sorkin’s The West Wing. Tim played reporter Danny Concannon - Senior White House Correspondent.

I had no idea that Timothy was going to be at the audition and was mortified when I showed up and saw him in the room because I was so late. It’s not unheard of to not be seen at all if you are late, let alone hours late. I read for the part and left. Tim was gracious. A month later, I got a call saying that I didn’t book that role; however, they were writing me another role and wanted to hire me for it. While on set shooting, Tim told me that when they asked him if he had any ideas for the part and he said, “That guy who came in 2 hours late. He was great. Hire him.” So I thought I bombed — but it worked out in the end.

The USO Tour scene from The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel broke the record for the most number of background actors used in a scene for tv in the state of New York (850). What was it like being a part of such a huge production?

I’ve never worked on Star Wars, but that’s what I was thinking of when we were filming that. It was by far the largest set I’ve ever been on, and yes there were almost 1000 background actors there for almost an entire week, who made up the audience of the USO show that you see in the season 3 premiere. When I met with Amy and Dan for the final audition for the role of Major Buck Brilstein, it was at Steiner Studios in Brooklyn in a small room that’s not much larger than a small studio apartment in Manhattan. It was the three of us and Emmy award-winning casting director Cindy Tolan. We did all the material from the episode, and to juxtapose that to being in an actual hanger with 1000 extras essentially filming a USO show that’s scripted — it was a historic moment in television that wasn’t lost on me.  

What was the audition experience like for your role on The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel?  

I kind of talk about that above. I had a great experience. As with anything, you have to go in a number of times, and then the final callback is with Amy and Dan Sherman Palladino. You are 2 feet away from her, there is a camera, and Cindy Tolan, the casting director, and you create the world and do the scenes — WORD PERFECT! That is a huge thing, and something I was told going in. Be word perfect every time. Their words are like notes on a page. Each one carefully picked and placed, and my job is to take them off the page and bring them to life with a sensibility of 1959 and a guy that’s a major in the army who always wanted to be a comedian but never really got the chance. So, my character is literally living his dream in this episode. Beyond that, you bring your A-game, nail it, and it’s up to Amy and Dan. It happened to go my way, and as I told Amy, I was grateful to get the invitation to play in her world. She wrote and directed this episode, so it was extra special.

Is there a specific role or moment that you feel has defined your career up to this point?

We’ll — this is pretty significant re: working with the Palladino’s.  I thought that The Good Wife was a big deal at the time — as I was part of Bob and Michelle King’s storyline that revealed Josh Charles’ character was murdered.  

It seems that I’m only allowed to act opposite actresses that have won 2 Emmy’s and 2 Golden Globes for Best Actress. LOL.  It’s truly a hard question to answer as each project is different, and as an actor, you hope that one job will open a door or opportunity to another.  That’s what I’ve found, at least over the past few years, so it’s certainly a slow burn.

Years ago, I was the low man on the totem pole at NBC’s Late Night with Conan O’Brien. I was an intern in the writing department under John Groff and often got the chance to appear in sketches on the show. This was an invaluable experience. There was an afternoon where I asked Conan (as I was cleaning his office) if he knew this was what he was going to do from the beginning. I’ll never forget what he said. He told me that, “In his wildest dreams he never thought he would be hosting a late night show.” He described show business as being on a highway. He was a writer in college, wanted to be a writer and set off on the highway with the goal of writing in mind. Along the trip, there were exits: Mad Magazine, The Simpsons, SNL. After each exit, he gets back on the journey. If you want to be a teacher or doctor or lawyer, you know exactly what to do. Go to X school for X years, and then they declare you as such. Boom. You’re it. Hollywood is not like that. Everyone’s path is so different, and how we get to where we are is almost inconsequential when compared to the culmination of the journey. I’ve been blessed to do a lot of different things so far and work with incredible talent that truly moves the needle in this business, and I hope for more opportunities.

What’s your favorite bit or joke from one of your stand-up sets?

I have a new bit I’m working on that’s fueled by my natural anger toward this situation.

I hate paper straws.

If this makes me a horrible person, so be it. If “they” think I don’t care about the EARTH or ENVIRONMENT and support the extinction of humanity because of this — so be it.

Paper straws? Really? Who did this make sense to? Who thought it was a good idea to combine PAPER and WATER?

I’m sure it seemed like a good idea at the time — but it doesn’t work. Three sips into my iced coffee and the thing has disintegrated, and I’m now drinking iced coffee and paper!

If you think paper straws are a good idea, let me ask you one question. Would you like to use a paper condom?

In the future, you’ll be standing in the rain telling your friend you can’t understand why she’s pregnant and soaking wet from holding the paper umbrella.

I will say that if we do switch to paper condoms …. I don’t know about the environment, but we will absolutely ensure the survival of humanity.

Lighting round! Describe each of the following in one word: Who you are, what you value the most, and what you’d be if you were a food item.  

I AM WILL VOUGHT.

I VALUE MOST: MY SON.

IF I WAS A FOOD ITEM, I’D BE A BEYOND BURGER!

What are you working on right now?

Right now, I’m working on sending out subliminal messages via Transcendental Meditation to Adam McKay for a coffee meeting that would result in being cast on the 3rd season of Succession on HBO.  I’d text him, but I don’t have his cell. Do you?

Thanks for taking the time, Will! Catch Season 3 of The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel on Prime Video. 

Photography: Emily Assiran | Grooming Laila Hayani | Styling: Natalia Zemliakova

#entertainment spotlight #will vought #the marvelous mrs. maisel

[harristops]

Did you watch the first Group stages for the Olympics? Thoughts? Do you think the US could have done better if Ash/Ali were there?

Not surprised by any of the stage results so far, tbh. Let's break it down team by team and go from there with my hot takes lmao:

GBR vs. CHI

Chile, while they have a GOAT in Endler, just doesn't have anything else to win, so they're never going to get passed the group stage, or if they do, it will be on a miracle. Like we've seen, good GKs can only keep your team in the game, whether or not they can stay in it is up to them. England has a strong squad and had a great start, and I think they'll hold up just fine in their group even against Canada or Japan for that top seed. They have enough gelling for them to work.

JPN vs. CAN

Two words: Steph Labbé. This is the Ashlyn Harris/Alyssa Naeher combo we all wish we could have. The heart she had to commit the PK, and then save it? A legendary move and I honestly felt for her that she had to be subbed out. Kailen, though, she's still so young and this is a great experience for her and knowing her, she's only going to continue to drive to improve and be better next game (even though that goal was a really tough one to save and came off some poor defending) - the CANWNT run into the same problems as the Pride sometimes; they're not out there to go and score a whole bunch of times, rather they score once and then defend the rest of the match. I need to see more attack from someone other than Sincy (congrats on her 300th cap and 187th goal, btw, absolute lengend) or Prince. Get some more attacking power in there because Japan isn't a team that will go down quietly, just likely they showed today.

BRA vs. CHN

Marta magic baby! The link up between Marta and Debinha, and just everyone on this team is so inspirational to watch. I honestly would LOVE to see them pull through and win this whole thing because no one deserves an Olympic Gold than Marta and Formiga. Their retirement is going to be the most emotional moment in women's football, even more than when Abby and Christie retired, tbh. China has some moments, but again, Brazil brings so much experience. I don't know how deep they can run into this tournament given how old their best players are, but they'll give it everything, no doubt. I want them to make it to the final rounds, or at least for the Bronze medal match, because the OGs deserve to go out with a medal.

ZAM vs. NED

Boy, this was an absolutely thrashing. I mean, there was absolutely no mercy by the Netherlands, but major kudos to the Zambia team for fighting hard to make that GD 7 instead of 10. They managed to score on a very good keeper and cut through a solid defense, even if they got blown out of the water. The drive was unreal and massive props to them for fighting to the last second. The Netherlands proved in this match why they were the 2019 finalists, and honestly, I'd be surprised if they're not back in the finals again this year. They're strong, meticulous, lethal on the attack, and defend very well. Not to mention they have a great blend of youth and experience for depth.

AUS vs. NZL

I mean, I hate to say it, but I don't see either of these teams going too far in this tournament. They both are big bodied, rough and tumble teams, but I honestly think it's a bit of a disadvantage than an advantage. NZL has never been particularly good, but kudos to them for clawing back and not getting shut out. On paper, the Matildas should have a great chance of going far, but I don't know if they can given who else is in their group. Maybe they can be in the top third? I still don't see it as likely, but no way is NZL going anywhere further.

SWE vs. USA

The match of the hour, huh! I mean, are any of use actually surprised at this result? The USWNT have been playing lower tiered teams and NOT blowing them out for the past year. Vlakto has made decisions to bring on older veteran players and barely healthy players like Jill did in 2016, except with a slightly weaker/disjointed defense. Look, I won't hide my inner glee at the karma inflicted by the soccer gods on this "the Olympics should be easy" USWNT team, but I'm gleeful. The revenge story fell flat and they showed themselves to be unable to make changes on a dime or adjust to the context. The ball to the face from Tobin's own kick was an accurate summation of the match. Now look, the USWNT will most likely bounce back and they'll probably at least make it to the semi-finals if not the finals. But, given the performance of Sweden, the Netherlands, and even Brazil, I'm not sure how they can withstand the firepower and strength of these teams when they've not played higher-calibre teams in a long time. Sweden put on a clinic with how organized, level-headed, and clean they were with their efficiency. The absolute dedication to pushing and attacking and defending and knowing their roles was outstanding and an absolute joy to watch. I felt happy for them and I believe that the USWNT are going to need a lot more than a redemption arc to get far in this tournament, but still, I think they should be okay so long as they don't rack up injuries or get gassed. Alyssa Naeher is the only reason they didn't get blown out, tbh. She is a star on the USWNT even if she's subpar in her club performance. She thrives at the international level and is so, so good and clutch.

Now, to answer your question about Ash/AK, no I don't think them being on the roster would change anything. Ash would never see a start even if she's a better club player than Alyssa, and tbh, she wouldn't make a difference here. Alyssa did a really great job and she definitely still is the #1 USWNT keeper even with the three goals conceded this match. Ash is great in clutch moments, but she has no big tournament experience so it's hard to tell if she could thrive under the pressure (I think she'd be fine, but there's no real evidence to back that claim since she has never played in a big tournament). AK might have added some leadership/consistency to the backline, but again, she didn't have a great performance in her last camp and her club performances have been rather inconsistent, even if they're still good. I don't think she should've made the cut or been on the roster.

The only person that should've been on the roster, in my opinion, but wasn't is Midge. She has proven time and time again she can play at any position and is versatile, strong, tough, and fast. She should've been the alternate over either Kruger or Lynn any day of the week. It will be interesting going forward how Vlatko rotates his players or if he will play the same Starting XI against a weaker NZL team. If everyone starts and subs, I worry about depth and conditioning especially for the older vets like Pinoe, Becky, and Llyod.

#asks #idk if i should tag the teams in here but i won't just to avoid drama #but yeah very interesting start to the games

[yayeetsonny]

"I really have 3 moms huh?" Baby R/Christen, Kelly, and Becky

Prompt: "Can you do one with Kelley, Becky, Christen being protective of the reader (since she’s the youngest and also in both teams with them) and acting like her team mom’s?"

This is for @super-market-sun-flowers

I'm so sorry that I've taken forever to get this out I just wanted it to be good haha. hopefully you like it!

-Minor swearing

Y/N PRO//

I finally was able to head back to the locker room after a grueling game against the Portland Thorns. We won the game 2- 1. I was so proud of the team and I was proud of how I played but I was in some serious pain because Midge Purce had fouled me in the 85th minute and when she did she clipped my ankle. I got up and walked it off and was able to play the remainder of the game. I did my best to hide the pain I was in because my "moms" Becky, Kelly, and Christen would totally flip if they knew. See I'm the youngest player on the Utah Royals FC and USWNT, at age 17 and being 4'11 doesn't help much either. Those three in particular baby me a lot. It's very sweet but sometimes it's a little much. 

As I was taking off my cleats I noticed my ankle was a little purple and swollen. Uh oh, Midge got me good.

"Shit." I mumbled, wincing when I went to move it.

"Oh my god. You need ice on that little one." Christen said startling me by her sudden appearance.

"H-hey Christen, it's really not a big deal. I'm okay."

"Then why are you grimacing and looking close to tears?"

"My allergies."

"You don't have any."

"Do too."

"Do not."

"Yes I do."

"No you don't.- okay since we're going in circles I'll just call Becky and Kelly over and see what they want to do."

"Woah wait that's not necessary. Shouldn't I be able to decide what to do about my injury?."

"No. You never take care of yourself when you're hurt or sick and you're the most stubborn person I know."

"I'll make sure I don't exert myself I promise!"

"I don't believe you even a little bit." She said crossing her arms and giving me a look.

"Okay, okay whatever get the other two involved I don't care anymore." I said exasperated

"Kelly, Becky come over here for a sec please."

"Hey what's up?"

"What's up CP?"

"Our kid is hurt and she doesn't want to ice her ankle and thinks that she can take a care of herself."

"I'm 17 years old! I turn 18 in like 4 months!" I said indignantly

"Sush. Let us help you babe. You're hurt."

"I'm fine guys seriously. it's nothing. Look we have camp in a week and I really don't want to jeopardize my chances by making this a bigger deal that it is."

"It'll be an even bigger deal if you don't take care of it properly and over do it at camp. Please just cooperate and ice your ankle." Christen said softly yet sternly. She's always been softer and gentler with me than the others but she has her moments too. Kelly and Becky nodded their heads in agreement.

"Ugh okayyy." I said. They all laughed at my dramatics as Kelly ruffled my hair. Kelly and Christen then proceeded to help me to the bus while Becky carried our things. Once there they insisted on having me sit in the back with my feet on Becky's lap elevating my foot. All of them fussing over me and arguing over what was the right way to ice an ankle.

"Kelly I swear if you hurt her more jostling her foot like that I'll make you hurt." Christen threatened

"Chill Chris I got it." She said

"No you don't you're hurting her."

"Stop being so uptight."

"She's my kid."

"She's my kid too. She's our kid." Kelly said looking a little hurt.

"You're right, I'm sorry Kel."

"They finally were able to agree on the way my foot was wrapped with the ice and let me be. Given it was only after Becky threatened to not let either of them take care of me if they didn't get it together. The look she gave then would have made a grown ass man afraid.

3 hours later//

The girls definitely were pushing it with the whole babying thing, they insisted on carrying me everywhere after we got back to the apartment we shared.

"Chris you can put me down! I can walk." I said, and I know what you're thinking but she's definitely stronger than she looks. She was carrying me to the couch after I woke up from a nap that she insisted on me taking because according to her I was "grumpy"

"No bubs you could hurt yourself more just let me help you. I just want you to be safe."

"I know Chris and I am, with you I always will be." I said laying my head in the crook of her neck.

I know I said them babying me and acting like over protective moms 24/7 was a little much but sometimes it really does make me feel all warm inside. Kelly and Becky had gone out to get food for all of us and would be back any minute.

Suddenly the door burst open and Kelly came barreling in "we're home losers!!"

"Kelly chill, Chris could've dropped our kid." Becky said having noticed that we jumped when they entered.

"Oh, oops my bad."

"Sometimes I feel like Christen and I have 2 kids instead of 1." Becky said rolling her eyes in amusement.

"Hey! I resent that!" Kelly said

"Oh come on Kel, she's only joking."

"I still resent it." She mumbled.

"Okay well let's eat before the food gets cold." Becky said patting Kelly on the back as she continued to pout.

"What's for dinner?" I asked

"Sandwiches from the deli around the corner."

"Oh yes, Antonio's! That place has the best hot sandwiches!" I said eagerly as I attempted to wiggle free from Christen's grip.

"Okay Christen seriously let me down please."

"We just talked about this baby, I'll put you on the couch that's it."

"I'm not a baby!"

"You're acting like it."

"Am not!" I whined

"Point proven." She said giving me a knowing look.

"Listen we love you and you're our kid whether you love it or not. We all know you at least like it 9/10 when we baby you. We're always gonna want what's best for you. Please let us take care of you until we know for sure your ankle is better." Becky said

"Okay, I'm sorry guys I just still have trouble getting used to having people who care about me so much. Sometimes I get a little overwhelmed by all the love you guys give me 24/7. I really do appreciate it and love you guys so much." I said getting all sappy.

"Awww you love us!" Kelly said running over and crushing Christen and I in a hug.

"Yeah, yeah. Can we eat now please?" I said

"Oh right, almost forgot." Becky chuckled

1 week later//

Becky, Christen, Kelly and I arrived at camp and met the rest of the team in the meeting room. After going over the plan for the day we were released to do some team bonding.

"Hey Y/N I missed you!" I heard someone say before I was startled by Emily Sonnett jumping on my back. I was able to catch her legs at the last second so she didn't fall but I rolled my already sensitive ankle as I tried to regain my footing.

"Shit, shit, shit." I said as Emily realized something was wrong as she climbed off of me.

"Oh man I'm sorry Y/N. I didn't hurt you did I?" She said looking slightly scared. All of the players on the USWNT, even some of the newest ones knew who my "moms" were and knew that they'd do anything to protect me, even going as far as getting in people's faces sometimes.

"I just lost my footing and rolled my ankle a little no big." I said trying to shake it off.

"You sure? Do you want me to get Christen?" She asked knowing I was closest with her.

"No, no it's all good. Just try not to surprise me anymore." I said smiling at her softly as I walked away.

"Hey kid, you good?" Ashyln said as I walked passed her

"Yeah, yeah all good." I said as I tried to rush away. My ankle was doing much better but still sensitive and was just getting back to 100% I argued with myself on what to do because it really hurt and I was beginning to panic. I knew my moms would be upset if they knew I had hurt it again after we just got here and I- wait, I called them my moms. Huh I didn't even notice. Do I say it out loud too? Does it weird them out? Oh my god wait what if they think it's weird I mean I know they think I'm their "kid" but I've never called them moms out loud before. I began to get lost in thought and was really starting to panic about everything, so much so I didn't even realize I ran right into Christen.

"Ouch" I landed on my butt after running right into her back. She turned around from talking to Tobin and Julie.

"Woah, hey there bubs. You okay?"

"Y/N?"

"Huh? Oh yeah I'm good. Sorry I just wasn't paying attention to where I was going." I said refusing to make eye contact, my ankle was killing me

She crouched down so she could look at me and softly grabbed my chin tilting my head up so I'd look at her. "Hey, What's wrong."

"Nothing."

"I know you too well to know when you're lying."

"I'm not lying it's nothing, just drop it." I said frustrated

"Woah drop the attitude please."

"I'm sorry, just forget it please."

"Y/N..." she said in a warning tone along with giving me the look

"Okay fine, I may have twisted my ankle when Sonnett jumped on me when she came to say hi." I said hesitantly as I scooted away.

"Well there it is, gotta go bye!" I said attempting to get up and get away before she went into full mama Press mode.

"Uh uh. Don't move, Kelly! Becky!" Christen yelled across the room.

"Oh man." I said laying back and face palming

"Uh oh short stack you gotta help sonnett before Chris, Kelly and Becky kill her." Tobin said in amusement.

Julie just rolled her eyes and said "why am I friends with you guys?"

"Oh shut up, we work together and you love us." Tobin said

"She's right dude you can't get enough of us." I said smugly.

"Woah CP, what's going on?" Kelly said rushing over to us as she saw the look on Chris's face.

"Where's Becky?"

"She's coming over right now what's going on? Is everything okay?"

"No."

"Chris will you please relax I'm okay." I said trying to get her to settle down before she went off.

"No stay out of this." She said not looking at me.

"This is literally about me! Come on don't make this a big thing."

"Hush before I-" she didn't get to finish because Becky came rushing over much in the same way as Kelly.

"Woah hey everyone take a breath, let's calm down. Will someone please tell me what this is about?"

"Sonnett hurt our kid!"

"No she didn't! I rolled my ankle when she tried to jump on my back! It's not a big deal I'm fine!" I said aggravated.

"She shouldn't have done that!" Christen said angrily. Becky, Kelly, Julie and Tobin were just looking back and forth as we argued.

"I can take care of myself! Just please don't hurt sonnett it was an accident and she didn't mean to. She even apologized even though it wasn't necessary."

"What she did was reckless and she could have seriously hurt you and herself!"

"Oh my god will you stop being so dramatic?! It's. Not. A. Big. Deal." I was getting increasingly frustrated as the argument went on.

"Oh I'm sorry, I guess you don't care about your safety or anyone else's then?" Chris said raising her eyebrow daring me to say something else.

"I do I just... Chris will you please talk to me about this, without yelling?" I said softly, finally relenting.

"I just want to protect my baby." Chris mumbled helping me up and pulling me against her chest. She ran her hands through my hair and kissed me on the forehead.

"I know Christen, I'll always feel safe and be safe with you protecting me. I already told you that. It won't ever change."

"Get ice on your ankle please. Elevate it and make sure that if you need anything at all you tell Becky or Kel okay baby? I'll tell dawn about your ankle so she can decide what to do."

"Yes mama." I said taking myself and everyone around us by surprise.

"I- I mean, yes Chris. I'll get on that. Where are you going?"

"Well, Sonnett and I need to have a chat so I'll see you later okay?" She said trying to mask the surprised look on her face.

"Don't kill my best friend please."

"Don't worry I just want to make sure she knows not to be so reckless next time."

"Okay..."

"Julie Tobin watch out for Em please." I whispered as Kelly carried me away.

"You got it kid." They said in sync

"Come on babe let's get you that ice."

30 minutes later//

"How you feelin kid?" Alex said as she sat next to me on the couch after finishing a game of monopoly deal with Tobs.

"I'm fine I guess it just blows my ankle is back at square one."

"Aw yeah that sucks, but it's not too severe right? So you'll be able to play with us and everything in a few days."

"You're right I'm just glad this camp is a pretty long one. I'll have a real chance to still show what I can do to the coaching staff."

"You're so talented. You have nothing to prove babe."

"Thanks Al that means a lot."

"Of course love. I love you."

"I love you too."

"You wanna play a game of speed?"

"You're on, just know I'm really good."

"Okay whatever you say Alex." I said chuckling

"What you don't believe me?"

"Maybe I do, maybe I don't."

"Oh it's on."

"Let's do it."

In the end Alex absolutely creamed me. But the plus side was that it wasn't just me she creamed, Crystal, Mal, Rose, and Sam had all joined in and it was amazing watching them lose just as badly as I did.

"Hey where's Chris?" I said suddenly realizing I hadn't seen her or Emily in over half an hour.

"Don't you mean mama?" Sam said teasing me as everyone else laughed

I blushed as I mumbled "that was an accident. Just forget it."

"Aw come on it was cute!"

"Yeah how come you don't call me and Becky mom or mama?" Kelly said appearing out of nowhere.

"Ahh! Geez you guys gotta stop doing that to me!"

"Aw I'm sorry kid. My bad."

"Seriously where's Chris? She didn't kill Emily did she? I told Julie and Tobin to watch out for her. What if-"

"Woah kid chill out, she's coming over right now."

"Hi bubs. You okay?"

"Yeah ma-Chris, I'm good. You and Em good?" I said catching my slip up. Everyone smirked at me knowingly while Chris gave me a curious look.

"Yeah we're good, you sure you're good?"

"Yeah." I said my voice cracking as I said it... dammit.

"Okay... uh hey guys can you give Y/N and I a minute I wanna talk to her about something." Everyone nodded and got up and went elsewhere, Sam patted me on the shoulder as she left.

"What's up Chris?"

"Are you sure you're okay? You're acting a little weird."

"Well, it's just that I know I slipped up twice now calling you mama and the girls were teasing me earlier and I'm sorry it probably weirds you out. I didn't mean to i swear, I'm so sorry please don't be mad, please don't hurt me I-"

"Woah hey, hey. Shhh calm down you're okay bubs. No ones going to hurt you, we would never. What's that all about? Look at me." Chris said holding my face so I'll look at her.

"I'm sorry I just don't want to weird you guys out. And uh, it's nothing forget I said that." Shit I really let that slip out, well that's a backstory for another time.

"You know I'm not going to do that baby, we'll talk about that later okay? You're okay I promise, there's nothing weird about it. We already see you as our kid. We love you more than you'll ever know and I'd be honored if you decided to keep calling me mama. I'm sure Kel and Beck would ecstatic to be called mom too." She said while rubbing my cheeks soothingly

"Can we finish this conversation with Becky and Kelly?" I asked timidly

"Of course Y/N. They won't mind."

"Kel, Becky can you come sit with us for a minute?"

"Yeah coming!"

"Absolutely!" They both came to sit with us, Becky on the other side of me and Kelly sat across from me.

"What's up kid?"

"Uhhh..."

"Y/N is worried that calling us her moms in a not joking manner will weird us out."

"Wait you really want to call us moms, like for real?"

"Well yeah i see you all as my mommies and I love you so much and wouldn't be anywhere without your love and support."

"I'd be honored."

"Me too."

"Wow really?"

"Of course, we really do love you kid."

"I love you too." I said almost beginning to cry.

"I really have 3 moms huh?"

"Yeah, you do."

"I wouldn't want it any other way."

-THE END

#becky sauerbrunn #christen press #kelly o'hara #utah royals #uswnt #x reader #baby reader #alex morgan #crystal dunn #ashyln harris #sam mewis #rose lavelle #mal pugh #tobin heath #julie ertz #uswnt imagines

[baltears]

on 2x05

so, now that the show has officially Gone There as of 3x05, have some completely self-indulgent, overlong and over-analytical lenny/midge character meta on the sequence from “midnight at the concord”. meta-ing back and forth with @isoldewass​ was making me go insane and i… had a lot of thoughts. 

keeping in mind of course that this whole sequence occurs over the course of several minutes, the conversation moves along quickly, and I doubt anybody is 100% consciously thinking through the things they are saying or doing, which is why I find a lot of it to be so telling. 

Midge’s first thought of something fun to do – go see Lenny’s act. I don’t know that it occurs to her that there would be anything odd about this suggestion, she just thinks, lenny is really funny, i want benjamin to have fun. but also, i want benjamin to like lenny. and also… i’m gonna go there… she just wants to see lenny and is not thinking about the fact that a date might not be the ideal time for that. we all know that she’s an impulsive person and often does not think things through so this would be totally in character for her to do.

At various points throughout the evening she keeps, almost compulsively, checking benjamin’s reactions to lenny. It’s like watching your favorite tv show with a friend and you keep waiting for them to have the same joy in engaging with it that you do; you want them to connect with something that you love because it’s like they are connecting with you. She really wants benjamin to like lenny. Case in point:

Benjamin doesn’t immediately understand what this means or that he’s supposed to have this special reaction to Lenny.

This is a normal human reaction from a guy on a date. He is approving her choice of fun for the evening. But clearly midge is not on the same page here, because she’s looking for a reaction that he did not have, despite his finding lenny’s act to have been funny.

Lenny is not funny, is the implication, lenny is brilliant. Lenny is an icon. He is not just funny, he’s brave. Not just a good comic, but a great comic, and not just that, but a great man. It is self-evident to midge that everybody should recognize how amazing he is. Benjamin seems to pick up on this, although he clearly is following her lead rather than himself having the effusive, admiring reaction that she has.

Like an, “oh, cool. I respect that,” type of reaction. But i notice that it’s more of a general statement than his own thoughts on the act or anything about lenny personally; it’s almost like he’s changing the subject. He is a good conversationalist and he’s agreeing with midge, showing the approval that she’s looking for, but i think he’s picking up at this point on the intensity of her reaction to lenny and is sort of quietly processing that/filing it away for a second.

Midge follows him away from the topic and turns it into flirting, and then Benjamin gets up to check in with the hospital and her attention immediately turns back to lenny.

Instead of getting up and saying hi to her friend… she throws an olive at his head and then looks away and pretends it wasn’t her. Typical midge trying to be funny, but also weirdly childish in a way that transparently reads as flirting. 

Lenny does not know quite how to process this interaction, i don’t think, although he’s happy to see her. He notices that throwing the olive at his head was a bit of a weird thing to do, i think he starts to register somewhere in his brain that she’s flirting with him, but he is not going to push her on it or bring it up because that’s not where their relationship is at the moment. If it took place after 3x05, this scene would not have gone the same way.

Another reference to the fact that Midge just sort of showed up on the spur of the moment. It was an impulsive decision that she did not think through. But immediately afterward she brushes off the comment with a joke and they quickly fall into their usual banter.

Notice how lenny moves his hand to his mouth here. In basic body language, a hand near or over the mouth tends to suggest that the person is trying to hide their true thoughts or feelings in some way. Not that Lenny is trying to deceive or lie to midge – but there is still a little bit of this sense that he is wearing a disguise in some way, that the way he’s reacting to her is somehow play-acted or inhibited. He is genuine about being glad to see her, but he is also thinking or feeling something else beyond that that he does not want to be open about. 

I think this is around the point where he notices the second glass at the table, but he does not immediately bring it up. they proceed to have some friendly small talk, and then:

he asks if it’s a date in a teasing way, but the fact that he keeps leaning closer to her suggests that he is genuinely interested in the answer to his question and that he wants to be closer to her himself. It’s also worth noting that Midge at first denies that it’s definitely a date, even though she later admits that it is. 

Said like date has a capital D. Immediately he is assigning extra significance and importance to this person… an over-the-top reaction for comedic effect, but also a joke that effectively masks the idea that he would have any sort of problem with midge being on a date. I think part of it also is that he keeps doing this out of a desire to hear midge deny that significance, which she also keeps doing. But he makes a big show of not believing her when she does.

Immediately, again, assigning more importance to the date than anything she has said would suggest. But framed in a very congratulatory way that is meant to make her feel flattered.

– maybe imagining in the back of his mind (correctly, as it turns out) that he himself would be received by her parents in the exact opposite way. He is successful in his field, but he is 1) a comedian, 2) a controversial comedian, 3) does not have an upper class background. Not to mention that he is constantly in and out of jail, has money problems because of his court fees, and is recently divorced. 

Midge quickly denies that she has “bagged” benjamin, which is undercut by the fact that by the end of the season they are planning to marry each other. In fact, she does see benjamin as a serious love interest and she does feel he is interested in her, but she is downplaying this fact to lenny for the second time… why, exactly? 

I doubt she herself actually knows why at this point, but we can guess.

Lenny pulls in the question, again i think to gauge the seriousness of the relationship, of whether benjamin is aware of midge’s standup career. He also frames it as this exaggeratedly taboo thing that they are both doing, which subtly emphasizes the connection between midge and himself and the idea of benjamin as an outsider who has to be let in on a secret.

She repeats this as if the fact that they’ve only had one date really means anything… this time it reads differently, more as a defense for her not having told benjamin anything than a downplaying of their relationship. 

I think she is a little needled by lenny bringing this up because it lightly implies that she doesn’t trust benjamin or that he doesn’t understand her, which is why directly after this sequence she immediately takes benjamin to the stage deli and tells him about her standup. 

Here is where we see some of Lenny’s genuine reaction. This is his advice to her as a friend, which he frames in very neutral terms, as a question. It’s not something personal that he feels, it’s just a question for her to think about, of whether she really believes that this relationship can ultimately work or not. It doesn’t matter that he doesn’t know benjamin and that “jell-o molds”, the upscale housewife who does normal housewife things, is not necessarily what benjamin seems to want. Lenny is questioning the suitability of midge being with anybody who is not like her and does not live the lifestyle that she does, but he is doing it in the gentlest possible way and i think he is sincerely saying this out of concern and friendship for her. 

Case in point – when she brushes his serious question off with another joke, he immediately backs off and starts praising benjamin again. This is not about, not about what he thinks or how he feels. While praising benjamin, though, he also ribs on him a bit by framing him as someone conventional and boring. 

Every comment he makes feels layered at this point, but he is clearly trying to be supportive of midge and to not display his sincere reaction – which is disappointment. Every congratulatory comment he has shot out has been joking and exaggerated. He cannot sit there and calmly, gently, sincerely tell her congratulations or that he’s happy for her… he is not happy, and he is trying to ignore it and cover it up with humor, which is very in character for him to do. 

Benjamin appears and Lenny immediately does the same thing. hello, Doctor. Emphasizing Benjamin’s significance and station in a way that feels almost part self-deprecating, part mocking, and part (again) congratulatory of midge… but also making known to benjamin the fact that midge told lenny who he is in the two minutes he was on the phone. we are friends, we talk to each other, and who are you? 

Benjamin, very normal and polite. Lenny turns it into a joke… but not just a joke, an in-joke that’s sort of at benjamin’s expense. “That was no act,” and then he looks at Midge for her reaction because they know something that benjamin does not. He’s not trying to be cruel, but he is clearly focused on communicating with midge here and not benjamin, and he does not really care that benjamin might feel left out. He only cares about midge, watching her face, watching her reaction, wanting to see her understand and remember what he said earlier about jell-o molds. But in a very gentle, subtle way, with a seemingly meaningless comment and a glance. 

He does not have to be going anywhere. i just wanted to mention that. Like it’s a stock polite thing to do to exit with an excuse when two people are together and you don’t want to intrude. But it’s more evidence to me that lenny is wearing a mask right now. While his support and care for midge and his enjoyment of her company are genuine, very little else about any of his behavior here has said anything about what he’s thinking or how he’s feeling. Note also, now that we’re reaching the end of the interaction, that he kept turning the conversation back to midge and basically never expressed anything outright, instead couching everything in jokes so it’s difficult to tell how serious he is.

Still polite and friendly as he is exiting – but benjamin’s expression (though also polite) does not look terribly genuine or charmed and i think he knows that there was something weird about the way lenny reacted to him. It was performed, it was exaggerated, and there was a vibe of something else. lenny being polite at this point doesn’t really do anything for that. 

He pays for their table. Another gesture of politeness, being hospitable and approving to benjamin for the sake of midge, but also – This is my place, i am known here, Midge is my friend, I am paying for your drinks. Regardless of the fact that he knows benjamin is a doctor and is not going to be short on cash, whereas lenny has been shown in the past to have money problems. 

Buy her a soda and have her home by 10. This is funny, and he never stops joking throughout this whole thing which is how he’s able to get away with doing and saying all this, but once again he’s emphasizing his position in Midge’s life… they mysteriously know each other and are close enough for him to casually joke about how benjamin should comport himself on their date as if he were a family member. Benjamin laughs, but it seems a little obligatory and a little forced. What exactly is going on here with this guy. Why is he acting this way. I don’t know that benjamin himself actually feels threatened by lenny, particularly because lenny is joking and not making a thing of it and is making a point of like, “allowing” benjamin to go out with midge (with the dad joke), like, I am not a threat to you while also saying I know her better than you do and you’re not going to find out how. 

Thinking about this bit I just find it so interesting that Lenny, like… vanishes into his jokes. To certain people, he erases himself until all that’s left is jokes and the reaction of laughter, however forced or genuine. It kind of reminds me of the way my grandfather used to act… he was a very intelligent man but around strangers he would like, obfuscate how smart he was, he would heavily exaggerate his southern accent, conceal his intelligence and talk like he was some kind of dumb rube. A way of self-defense and hiding from people, sort of a, you’re not allowed to know me. And Lenny even does this to Midge to a certain extent this time around, because he is so focused on not making it about himself, but about her and how she feels and what she is doing.

And the final piece, which is that after he has broken eye contact with benjamin and begun leaving, he turns around to make a joke to midge. He is gorgeous! It’s about benjamin, about him approving of benjamin, but it is not for benjamin. It’s because all he wants is to make midge laugh and get a smile and absolutely not let her think that he has any issues with this, no sir, not at all. This feels almost like a 180 from the very weird, outwardly-polite-maybe-semi-hostile-but-just-joking way he was treating benjamin a second ago… because it is. It’s not about benjamin, it’s about midge.

I love watching him just enjoy her reaction, her absolutely charmed and beautiful smile, for a second before he turns around and leaves. The special, almost magical power of being able, at any time, to evoke a laugh from someone that you like and watch them smile at you. Benjamin is witty, but he does not have that power. 

And then right away, Benjamin, who has just stood there through this very odd 30-second interaction, and just wants to make sure, says:

And I think it’s really important to note the context in which Benjamin is asking this. Several people by now have suggested the possibility of something between Midge and Lenny, but they have all said so in the context of her as a comedienne and the (sexist) idea that midge and lenny have to be in some kind of sexual relationship, and not just friends, for him to be willing to do such a favor for her. But Benjamin is not implying that. He has no idea about her standup career yet. He clearly is also not the type to believe that men and women can’t be platonic friends, because when midge says nothing has happened he believes her. All he knows is that midge took him to see some guy’s standup… and afterward the guy was kind of weird to him in a way that seemed like there might be something going on. 

#lenny x midge #midge x lenny #marvelous mrs maisel #tmmm #long post

[lostinprocrastination]

Episode Eight: Thoughts

Okay, this one I'm doing more than 12 hours after watching it and not as I was watching like the first seven, but I still have some stuff to say:

1. I saw the title was "A Jewish girl walks into the Apollo..." and I was *immediately* like oh boy...a pretty self-absorbed fluffy white girl who's lived in a bubble of privilege all her life? Yeah, this is *not* gonna work.

2. And then she has to follow Moms Mabley? At the freaking Apollo? That gave me even more assurance that she would bomb completely, and I would have been as freaked out as she was.

3. Then Reggie tells her to talk about Shy in her act and I myself freaked out so hard because a) it's the freaking Apollo!!!! and b) I knew what she was gonna talk about - we all knew, right? I know she wasn't being mean, but JESUS CHRIST, WOMAN! I actually thought everyone would be speechless, and what really surprised me most about her set was how much of a hit it was with the public. Did his Harlem people know or...

4. ...I guess not, otherwise Shy would have probably not opened with a song that specifically mentioned "a woman" (I started paying attention to every single musical cue after episode 5, go figure)

5. And, of course, he wouldn't have fired her, which I honestly thought was fair. Even not intentionally, causing other people harm has consequences. Things you say to and about someone, especially in a public setting, have to be thought through.

6. I gotta say though, I read the AV Club review of the episode and it went really hard against Midge, basically saying she's the kind of jerk who thinks of herself as a good person when she doesn't care who she has to step on to benefit herself and wait...what? She is certainly clueless about the world outside of her bubble, which can lead to being inappropriate and, yes, even harmful to others, but it's not like she's this monster who is deliberately destroying everything and everyone who gets in her way!

6a. That is such a fucking double standard! A man can leave his family and do whatever the fuck he wants with his life, and step up the ladder in any career leaving death and destruction - metaphorical or otherwise - in his wake but hey, he's successful and should be celebrated. When a woman breaks out of the traditional cycle of obedient daughter to obedient wife and eventually mother to sweet, always available grandma, she's a jerk? She leaves her kids with Joel because she KNOWS he's a great father and they would be much better off with him than on the road with her (as much as her lacking the patience to even listen to Ethan counting or saying the alphabet on the phone did make me pretty mad, had that been a man it wouldn't have been regarded as half as bad). When she hurts people is because she is, like I said, clueless and self-absorbed, sure, but much of this due to her upbringing - I mean, just look at Rose! So a woman pursuing her dreams makes her a jerk? She has to be unhappy with a life that makes her miserable? It's true that she hadn't realized that until she became aware of Joel's infidelity, but she did, and she had the guts to go do what made her happy! The fact that a woman wrote that review makes me really sad. She even wrote that watching her trajectory over these three seasons illustrates the problem with celebrating "women's liberation" and OH MY GOD.

7. Yeah, she doesn't care about Susie? When she freaked out about her managing Sophie as well, yeah, she was kind of a bitch, like I said in my post about that episode. She does eventually come to terms with it and supports her though. Susie's gambling problem and the whole deal with her mom is something she keeps away from Midge because she wants her to focus on her career (which by the way is her source of income as well) and, let's face it, if she got involved in her family stuff, Midge would drive her crazier than she already does and she'd end up in an institution.

8. I do worry about Susie though, a lot, because man, it's THE MOB. I know the show would never ever kill her off or anything like that, but it isn't the only unspeakable thing that may happen to her.

9. It was actually a smart move to ask Joel to manage Midge's money. That's how much she cares. And she was right when she said he loved her and always would...it's very obvious that if she gave up her career and said she wanted to go back to their old life he'd do it in a heartbeat. They are in completely different paths in life though, and he knows that.

10. Speaking of Joel, she didn't go to the stage for an impromptu set to upstage him...of course she didn't exactly mind being the center of attention, but she only did it so people wouldn't be mad and leave the club because of the problem with the lights, so fuck off, lady reviewer!

11. Also, did Midge *have* to be petty when replying to Mei? No, but Mei did want to seem ~superior herself when she said "I'm gonna be a doctor", so let's call it a tie.

12. All my defense of Midge aside, Benjamin was completely right and that outburst was a long time coming. He had to get it out if his system and she had to hear it. Rose inadvertently caused a very good thing.

13. Her emotional reunion with her old apartment, complete with the song played during that scene, was really cute.

You guys can totally message me if you think I'm being way too apologetic for Midge, for anything else about the show or, you know, if you just want to chat! Thank you for reading my thoughts on this season!

#the marvelous mrs. maisel spoilers #the marvelous mrs. maisel #midge maisel #susie myerson #joel maisel #mei #rose weissman #benjamin ettenberg

[n0-eyedtaissa]

Lethal Charm: Chapter Two (Serial Killer!Reggie Mantle AU)

Disclaimer: This story is in no way intended to romanticize Bundy or his crimes, all details about victims and their death have been tweaked and changed out of respect for the deceased + as a loose attempt to follow canon.

Warnings: Mentions of drinking/smoking, blood, depictions of violence/death.

Word Count: 6,634

A police siren rings out in high-pitched bleats that are long and loud enough to make people in the surrounding areas press their palms flat against their ears to muffle the sound. Blue and red lights cast over the front of the building, illuminating the circle of squad cars clustered together as they waited for the coroner’s van to pull up to the scene. There usually wasn’t all that much excitement around the UW campus; school security officials held their police scanner radios close to their chests and wished for better circumstances. 

There’s blood on her bed — Midge Klump’s bed. Her pink silk sheets are dried and stuck together from where the blood soaked through the fabric. The dorm room is thick with the smell of it. One of the officers was wondering if the girl bled to death, another said that if the victim bled out, “You’d know. This ain’t nothin’” There’s a white nightgown hung up over one of the drain-pipes, bobbing and weaving on the man-made breeze that came with so many people bounding in and out of the basement bedroom. The fabric is old and weathered, a hole worn into the side seam, a browning ring of dried blood around the neck. A crime scene photographer flits around the room, taking pictures of any and all little inconsistencies, anything that could be used as evidence eventually. 

There’s pictures of the nightgown in the newspaper that week; the dried blood, the broken lock on the basement door. Midge’s pillowcase was gone. So was her backpack and a handful of clothes. Her body was not at the scene of the crime. 

“You listen to me, and you listen good now: The same bastard who attacked that little girl at the beginning of last month has now taken Midge Klump. People saw him. He was outside of both houses.” The city had started up a help line, open twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week for University students and surrounding people of the neighborhood to call in case they remembered something, or came across any other shady behavior. There was a few crank calls, some kids are just bored and downright twisted, but it was mostly helpful information. Suspect was an Asian male, 26 to 28. Little over 6 foot. Muscular build. A few of the neighbors had seen the perp lurking around the area in a little VW Beetle. 

Midge Klump was the textbook definition of a “Nice Girl”. She was bread and butter, had a small but tight-knit family that mattered to her more than anything. Never having been the girl in the spotlight, Midge flourished in college, no longer kept at bay by fruitless fake friends turned home-town enemies. She let her hair down, found her voice; when she got to the University of Washington she decided to do things that would challenge her comfort zone. The first week of school she got her hair cut short by a student beautician in the lounge of the girl’s dormitory, the next week she found herself writing her name and phone number down on the sign-up sheet for the university’s theatre program, and after smoking a little bit of pot, Midge actually had the guts to audition. She’s first understudy in the Spring Musical…it hits a little too close to home, but she’s always appreciative that she’s even able to be apart of the action. 

She was diligent and hard working; never all that much of partier, always made sure she got a recommended eight hours of sleep, always was looking bright-eyed at her professors as she sat in the front row for their early morning lectures. Midge was full of promise and life, something that was agreed upon by anyone who encountered her, regardless of their relation to her. She was a pillar in the inner-workings of the UW theater troupe, helped with the outreach program in place at the local elementary school; Midge liked helping the kids out so much that on Monday she bounded into the admin building asking for the paperwork to fill out to declare her major in Child & Adolescent Development Studies. Midge thought she was gonna be an actress…and a teacher…and a Mother. She would have been great at anything she set her sights on. She could have been, but that was taken from her. 

After it happened, the police made a comprehensive timeline of Midge’s whereabouts leading up to her disappearance. The cops were trying to cover all of their bases, talking to all of Midge’s friends and housemates, her shift supervisor, her store manager, her professor; anyone who had seen her in the hours before her disappearance. The officers were aggressive, trying to leave no stone unturned as they grilled on about Midge’s life, asking if there was anyone who would want to hurt Midge. Each person that was questioned swore up and down that Midge didn’t have any enemies, that she wasn’t that kind of girl. Whether their statements were a correct testimony to the circumstances behind the girl’s disappearance was a different story though, because the police pressed on further. There was a big suspect board tacked up on the bulletin board down at the station, though it was looking a little blank. Midge’s senior portrait from high school was posted up in the middle of it all, blue string connecting to the crime scene photos; the bloodied nightgown swaying eerily from where it was hooked onto the drain pipe, the Midge-shaped indent in a vacant bed, the broken lock — Sheriff said it looked like the perp cut the pad-lock with bolt cutters. Besides the old portrait of the missing girl and the sparse number of crime scene photos, the only other solidified evidence the police were working with was an outline of the victim’s confirmed whereabouts:

[1:35 PM] KLUMP leaves place of residence to commence her walk to campus; roommate confirms that victim was running late. [1:50 PM] Victim sets foot on the University of Washington campus, due east towards the Humanities building. [2:00 PM] University Professor MARY ANDREWS confirms that KLUMP was present for attendance and through the class period. [4:45 PM] KLUMP exits building, heads north towards the Student Union [4:50] KLUMP sits down for coffee with KEVIN KELLER, the two started discussions about the upcoming musical theatre production 

—

Midge slung her schoolbag over her shoulder, taking in a deep breath between her teeth as she quickened her pace. A brief glance at her watch was enough to alert her that she was late, officially having left Kevin hanging for approximately three minutes and forty-five seconds. Kevin Keller was a theater major and it was obvious, but despite his grand talents and his ability to match pitch, he saw something in Midge from the first day she walked into the  auditions for Guys & Dolls. He didn’t give her the part of Sarah Brown, but she ended up being the understudy. After one of the dormitory buildings goes under quarantine for mono, Midge ended up in the spotlight for the closing night of the musical; her rendition of "I've Never Been In Love Before” garnered a full standing ovation. Kevin sure had his clipboard handed to him, not casting Midge in the first place. He was determined to rectify that this semester, even if he was doing it for somewhat of a selfish reason: The department head said that if the musical pulled good numbers this season, he'd work with Kevin on a plan for expanding the budget and allotting more funds to be applied to costume and set design for future productions. Kevin hated to say it out loud, but he needed Midge. He sees her hobbling towards him across the quad and sends a polite, tight-lipped smile her way as he waited for her to approach. 

“Sorry to keep you waiting,” Midge apologizes, fluttering into the area on a gust of wind. She huffs and reaches a frazzled hand up to pet down the loose hairs of her bangs, flinging her book bag onto the wooden table, “My Professor decided that the perfect time to hand back midterm papers was the last five minutes of a three hour class and demanded to talk to everybody about the grade that they got”. Midge rolled her eyes before smoothing down the back of her skirt in order to sit across from Kevin. He finds her personality to be endearing but this was more of a business meeting than a friendly gathering and Kevin meant business. 

“That’s not a problem,” Kevin brushes off her tardiness with a homegrown smile and a small sip of his cappuccino. “I actually had something that I had been meaning to discuss with you…about the upcoming musical.” 

Midge’s eyebrow raised in inquisition, “Did you and Fogarty decide on what production’s gonna be put on?” It’d been a point of tension for the small troupe of students for a few months now, since people started hearing whispers about casting rumors. 

Kevin sat up a little straighter and cleared his throat, “On behalf of the entire theater department, I’d like to —informally— announce that this spring we’ll be putting on a production of,” Kevin does a mock drumroll against the table, “Bye Bye Birdie!” His megawatt smile beams over at Midge as she clapped her hands excitedly. 

“Oh that’s so exciting!” She tittered, the toes of her sandals tapping excitedly against the pavement. Midge was quite pleased, two weeks ago when the little paper ballots were handed out, she checked the little box besides the classic show before folding it neatly in half and handing it to Kevin. The group was an uneven split and Midge was sure that the co-director’s choice was going to win the draw, but she was in luck! 

The initial excitement wore off pretty fast, and as the two college sophomores knew virtually nothing about each other besides a shared joy for acting, things quickly grew awkward. Kevin looked across the table at Midge, who’s smile had faded to more of a grimace. “And!” He clapped his hands together like one of the excited tour guides that led groups of potential students around the school grounds. 

“And?” Midge questions, eyebrow raising with inquisition. 

“I wanted to talk to you about casting,” Kevin started earnestly. “I know that with the last production you were a little upset by the fact that we stuck you with the role of first understudy, but you came through when we needed you to the most and absolutely blew the house down, so I was wondering…” He paused for emphasis and took a quick glance over at Midge to gauge her reaction, “Would you do us all the honors of being our Kim?” 

Part of Midge wanted to refuse the offer, to rub it in Kevin’s face a little more now after all of the times that Kevin took advantage of her. But she knew that she had talent, no matter how many times she wasn’t the one in the spotlight; now she had had the chance to show everyone the skills she had been working so hard on since the winter musical. “I’d love nothing more!” She sighs, feeling dreamy before giving Kevin a quick embrace. The two make idle chatter about auditions and rehearsal schedules before Kevin excuses himself and lets Midge get on with the rest of her day. 

__

[5:40 PM] KLUMP exits school grounds and begins her walk back to place of residence. [5:50 PM] Victim is offered a ride home from roommate, GINGER LOPEZ, approximately six blocks away from their shared house at 5823 Healy Avenue. LOPEZ and KLUMP commence their drive and arrive back on Healy Ave around [6:00PM]. [6:10 PM] KLUMP retreats to her bedroom, located in the basement of the residence. [8:00PM] Both KLUMP and LOPEZ exit the premises, with LOPEZ driving the two the local college bar, The Maple Club. 

—

The sound of the gravel crunching under the car’s tires is enough to make Midge wince and grit her teeth, her knuckles having gone white after holding on for dear life as her housemate sped along the main road as the two girls made their way to the old college bar for an after-school pint. 

“Remind me to never drive with you when you’re angry” Midge huffed, flipping down the sun visor to check her hair in the small mirror. She pulls her tube of lipstick out from her pocket and purses her lips as she applies the shimmery pink tint. 

Ginger wasn’t listening, which didn’t come as a surprise to Midge as she hoisted herself up and out of the vehicle, pausing to smooth down the back of her skirt and check out her reflection in the window. The short-haired girl watches as Ginger stomps out her cigarette, and soon the two girls are locking their arms together and preparing to take the nightlife by storm. 

When the two girls cross over the bar’s threshold, their senses are accosted by the bitter smell of smoke and the static boom of voices as they tried to overpower the loud, smooth rock music that was playing over the blown-out speakers. 

“Look who it is” Ginger leans down to whisper-yell into Midge’s ear, gesturing to a handsome young man sipping frothy beer from a frosted glass. 

—

 [8:30] LOPEZ confirms that the victim was spotted with long-time suitor, MARMADUKE, “MOOSE” MASON, no history of violence, harassment, or foul play. 

—

Moose Mason was a nice boy. Homegrown, the kind of man that most girls would dream of bringing home to their mother and father. He was a pressed linen shirt and a white picket fence, an old beat-up Ford truck that he spent the summer after high school fixing with his father. He was meat and potatoes. Moose Mason was good. He met Midge when he was recruiting potential new brothers from his fraternity; asked her if she wasn’t a part of any school sororities because they’d all be competing to have a pretty girl like her. Moose Mason was clumsy, heartfelt, not good with words but never shying away from expressing his hopes and dreams. It took him over a month to ask Midge out on a date: The two went dancing at the Maple Club and he was a perfect gentlemen. Moose didn’t drink anything because he wanted to make sure he’d be able to get Midge home safe. Didn’t smoke, didn’t try to make a move on her (though he did give Midge a goodnight kiss on the cheek after walking her back to her front door). His Christian methods of courtship were proving to be lackluster to Midge. She was waiting for someone to take her breath away, someone to sweep her off her feet and break her out of her suburban comfort zone. Moose Mason wasn’t quite there yet, but that didn’t mean he was going to stop trying. 

“You look real pretty tonight, Midgie” Moose says as he walks up to the pair of girls, drunk on confidence and Coors Lite as he teetered, slinging a heavy arm around the short-haired girl’s shoulders.

“You don’t look too bad yourself, Mason” Ginger scoffs, rolling her eyes as she pulls out a cigarette. Moose laughs at the pinch-faced girl but can’t help but waft the air around him to clear the thick stream of smoke. "Find me when you’re ready to spend some time with more exciting people” 

Midge nods, silently preparing herself for the damage control she would have to face with the backlash of her roommate’s harsh words. But like always, Moose Mason is there standing tall, with his puppyish brown eyes and his sad smile.

“I’m sorry about her, must be her time of the month” She fibs, biting at her painted lips. 

Moose chuckles, “No, I think she’s always that unpleasant”

Midge is taken aback by the young man’s sudden bout of unabashed honesty, so much so that her gut reaction is to laugh loudly and without regard for who may hear her. She shuts up quickly and claps a hand over her mouth. Moose has a wry look on his face and it confuses Midge because she didn’t think he had a mean bone in his body. It didn’t suit him, but maybe that’s what made it so much more enticing. She lets Moose buy her a beer, lets herself be led onto the dance floor, lets him rest his hands on her backside as they swayed to the in-house band. 

—

[9:45PM] LOPEZ confirms seeing MARMADUKE MASON exit the MAPLE CLUB, sans KLUMP. LOPEZ claims that KLUMP was spotted in a darker corner of the bar with an unknown man: Handsome, over 6-foot, dark hair & eyes. NAME UNKNOWN]

—

Midge dangles her feet off of the tall barstool as she watches Ginger flirt unabashedly with the fraternity meatheads that were always regulars at the Maple Club. She watches how the guys leaned into Ginger when she spoke, a protective hand covering the small of her back. It’s not that Midge needed the attention, or that she wanted it even, just that it seemed to come so easy to her roommate. Watching Ginger tote one of her suitors to the back corner of the bar to feel her up, Midge can’t help but sigh.  When Moose Mason left the Maple Club early that evening, he barely gave Midge a kiss goodbye. She got a half-hearted peck on the cheek and a side-hug. Knowing how old-fashioned the boy was, this behavior made sense, but Moose treated her less like someone he wanted to date, and more like a sister or a cousin. All Midge wanted was to feel desirable, to feel beautiful and confident after all of her adolescent years spent in the shadows of her so called “friends” from grade school. Her head hands low and woeful as she watches the couples dancing under the red lights to the music of the surprisingly good in-house band. 

“Is this seat taken?” A smooth voice knocks Midge out of her self-deprecating trance. When she looks up, she’s surprised to see a tall, handsome man smiling down at her. 

“It’s yours now” She smiles politely, glancing away from the man and assuming that he was most likely waiting for some beautiful girl he was on a date with.  

“You come here often?” The man asks again, with more intent, shifting his weight towards Midge as he sits atop the rickety barstool. 

“Sometimes, yeah” Midge answers honestly, “Though I’m not usually alone” She gestures broadly to her roommate Ginger at the other side of the bar, who was letting her suitor feel her up over her turtleneck sweater. 

“Well, you’re not alone now, are you?”  The handsome man smirks at Midge and she finds herself leaning in closer and opening herself up for conversation. She looks up at the stranger dreamily and takes in his appearance: Statuesque build, broad shoulders, clean-cut with his shirt tucked in and his hair slicked back. Pretty, pursed lips that would make the cosmetology students jealous, a smirk that made Midge weak in the knees. 

“I guess not” She giggled in response, toying with a lock of her cropped hair. 

“I’m Reginald” He skips over his last name but Midge doesn’t think anything of it, moving forward with introductions to give the man her name and to talk about college-related things, like choice of major and prospective carer paths. 

Reginald was a photography student, though his father wished that he would have chosen to study law like the rest of the men in his family. The way Reginald spoke about his father, it was clear that there was some resentment there, but it wasn’t anything Midge felt comfortable pushing as she knew it wasn’t her business. 

“I bet you have a really good artistic eye!” She pipes up, trying to ease some of the tension. “I’d love to see some of your work someday…” She hopes that the prospect of seeing each other another time doesn’t come on too strong for Reginald, the last thing she wanted to do was seem desperate and pushy, especially with someone as handsome and charming as he was. 

“I’d quite like that” There was a twinkle in Reginald’s eye that she couldn’t seem to place, but it made her feel hopeful nonetheless. 

The two carried on conversation for the better part of a few hours, laughing and talking casually while exchanging freshman year horror stories and hometown gems. When Reginald asked if he could buy her a drink, she wanted to be coquettish and refuse, but she didn’t, not wanting to run the risk of offending the man and scaring him. That one pint turned into a whole pitcher, and Midge was feeling loose and bubbly, not even ashamed to say that she was playing in to Reginald’s relentless flirting. 

Every so often Midge would cast her gaze towards Ginger, in part just to check in, but because she wanted to brag about being courted by a looker like Reginald. "Find me when you’re ready to spend some time with more exciting people” Ginger told Midge when the two girls split ways, and that was exactly what she did. 

“So you said you were an actress?” Reginald cocks a curious eyebrow at Midge, leaning in closer to hear her over the music. He seemed genuinely interested in what she had to say, which was refreshing to her. 

Midge laughs at the notion. “You’re looking at the University Theater Department’s favorite first understudy.” She shrugs and takes a hearty swig of her beer.

“Wow, I’m honored to be with such esteemed company” Reginald jokes, giving a megawatt smile. 

“If you must know,” She starts, laughter bubbling up in her throat as she continued, “Opening night of the Spring Musical, I came to the rescue when the leading lady came down with a bad case of mono. Blew the house down and received the only standing ovation!” Midge gives a comical bow when Reginald starts clapping.

“Thank you for gracing us with your presence tonight, Miss Big-Shot Actress” Reginald laughs, lacing his fingers with hers as their hands sat on top of the sticky covered bar. “You know, all the big time actresses have really nice headshots. Glamour shots, they’re called — It’s what you send to casting directors when you audition for the movies” His thumb massages the back of Midge’s hand as he explained.

“They’d never put me in the movies” Midge looked down at her feet to avoid Reginald’s eyes when she felt the heat creep up her neck as she blushed. 

He hooks a finger under Midge’s chin, tilting her face towards him and forcing her to maintain eye contact with him, like he wanted to make sure that his words would mean something and be remembered. “You’re beautiful, Midge. Don’t deny it to yourself.” She doesn’t refute it, shy away from it, or say thank you; Midge nods to herself, like she was trying her best to process it and take his words to heart. 

The conversation flows easier as Midge continued to emerge from her shell, but as soon as she was feeling more confident, there was Ginger waving wildly at her from the other side of the bar. The girl gestured towards the exit, hoping that she was good enough at playing charades to convert her message to Midge. It worked of course, because Ginger was flapping her arms very obviously so it was impossible for Midge not to notice. Reginald was talking animately about a debate that sparked up in his psychology intro course, but Midge was only really half-listening, as she was more concerned with how she was supposed to interject and remove herself from the conversation. 

“A-are you…?” Reggie breaks from his long-winded monologue and picks up on Midge’s hesitation, turning over his shoulder just as Ginger whips around as to not be noticed. Midge feels her face heat up with embarrassment, but Reginald acts cooly. “Duty calls?” He questions with a chuckle and another knee-buckling smirk.

“Something like that…” Midge bites at her lip as she stands up and smooths down the back of her skirt. Folding her jacket over her arm, she grabs a dry napkin from the bar and writes down her phone number with her brown eyeliner pencil. “You should call me sometime…” Midge blushes as she looks up at the tall man standing in front of her. 

He raises his eyebrows in surprise, not having been used to this kind of confidence radiating from the young woman. For most of their conversation it had been Reginald who had been putting in the extra effort, asking Midge questions about school and about the theater program. “I’d like that.” He quips as the short-haired girl gazes up at him hungrily. “Maybe I can help you out with those headshots.” he gestures to the camera bag at his side. 

A blush raised to Midge’s cheeks when he hands her over his ballpoint pen, prompting her to grab one of the square, white bar-napkins to write down her phone number. “You promise you’re gonna call?” She pulls her hand away a little.

“Scout’s honor” Reginald smirks, holding up the three-finger salute. “Hell, I’ll even call you right when I get home just so you know I’m the real deal.”  

“I’ll hold you to that, Reginald!” Midge quips with a coy smile, leaning to give the young man a final kiss on the cheek before retrieving Ginger and retreating to the car. 

—

[11:30PM] KLUMP and LOPEZ exit tavern, return to residence at approximately [11:40] Fellow resident of the home, MELODY VALENTINE, confirms talking to both KLUMP and LOPEZ in the kitchen following their return. Both women recount KLUMP taking an unknown phone call.

—

The ride back to the small house on the Healy Avenue was quiet, with Ginger gabbing on incessantly about the boys she was getting on with that evening, about how some showboat boy with a football scholarship was going to escort her to her sorority formal. Midge nodded along politely, knowing when to appease her friend with quiet affirmations though she wasn’t really listening. She nabs a sleek, long cigarette from the pack in Ginger’s purse and lights it up, ignoring the curious stare she receives, never really having been a smoker. Exhaling a dainty plume of smoke out the car window, Midge can’t help but ruminate on the events of her day: First Kevin gets over his own pride and offers her the lead in the musical, and then at the bar that same evening she was lucky enough to catch the attention of a person as grand as Reginald. Midge couldn’t help but feel as if something was different this time, it was like he saw her, saw her for what she truly was. She pulls a little too hard on the cigarette and sputters out a cough. It humbles her a little bit, pulls her back to the reality where she was just a small-town understudy and he was another good looking boy who only chatted her up because he was too drunk to know better. Midge tosses the butt out the window of the moving car and focuses her gaze on the grid-work of light poles and electrical towers, fully convincing herself that she would never hear from Reginald again. 

When the two girls pull up in front of the household, they exit the car quietly and stumble inside through the side door of the house, which led through Midge’s basement bedroom. The two girls are in a fit of giggles as they make their way to the main floor of the house, both in dire neat of some carbs to soak up the alcohol. Midge peeks around the corner stealthily, not wanting to disturb or wake up one of her other three housemates in case they had called in an early night. Things were going all fine and good until Ginger’s heel gets the best of her and her ankle rolls, twisted up in the carpet. She lets out a small yelp as she falls to the side and grabs the wall for support to recover. Midge claps a hand over her mouth when she hears a doorknob turning from down the hall.

“What kind of trouble are you two getting in now?” Another housemate, Melody Valentine asked, clearly irritated at the disturbance. Pulling her tortoiseshell glasses from their resting place on the tip of her nose, Melody takes in the sight of Midge: the pink tint to her cheeks, the glimmer in her eye, “What’re you all smilin’ about?” She questions again with no detectable malice laced in her tone like before. 

“Our girl Midge met a boy tonight and he was a real looker, definitely puts Moose to shame,” Ginger hiccuped. 

Her comment is received with a pointed look from Midge, leading Ginger to grimace as she limped back up the hallway to get herself a glass of water. The phone rings suddenly and the intake of Midge’s breath is audible. It wasn’t him, it couldn’t be. She had convinced herself that she was just another girl that Reggie would forget by morning. The phone lets out three more sharp bleats before Midge hesitantly reaches her hand for the receiver;

“Hello?” She whispers, her throat feeling dry from anxiety of it all. 

“Scout’s Honor,” It takes Midge a minute to put the pieces together, but she knows it’s Reginald, the same smooth-talking boy she had met a few hours earlier. He promised to call her and he did. “I’m a man of my word, what can I say?” 

“Reginald” She’s beaming as she wraps the red plastic chord between her fingers as she presses the receiver even closer to her ear, wanting to be even closer to him. “I didn’t think you were gonna call…” 

“Why wouldn’t I?” Reggie mutters like it was ludicrous that Midge would think otherwise.“You were the prettiest in the whole room tonight…The Actress. You’ve got it.”

“Got what?” Midge pinches herself because at that point, she can’t help but think that she was dreaming. 

“Star power.”

There’s a beat of silence as Midge tries to regain her breath, heart swelling in her chest as she pressed the phone receiver even closer to her ear. “I don’t have star power” She denies it adamantly, not because she believed it, but so he would say it again. 

“Yes, you do, Midge. You do.” Reggie’s breath is heavy through the phone receiver and it gives Midge chills down her spine. “You should take me up on that offer, I think I could capture you well” 

“Your offer?” The beer and the anxiety have her thoughts swimming.

“Headshots, I’m a photographer. You were telling me all about how excited you are about the upcoming musical, imagine how great it would feel for you to open the programs and see a fresh, new picture of your pretty face” Reggie hums contently on the other line, like he too was picturing it, dreaming of it.

“It’s a nice offer and all, but if you’re half as good of a photographer as you say, there’s no way I could pay you” Midge can’t help but feel guilty, like she was waiting the time of the gorgeous man that she met earlier that evening. She was expecting the conversation to come to a halt after this, that Reggie would make some excuse as to why he needed to go, and it would be mutually understood that the longevity of their relationship was over as soon as the dial tone hit. 

“If it means I get to see you again, Midge, I’ll do it for free” Reginald lays the charm on thick but Midge can’t help but happily lap it up. Something about the way he talked to her — about her— made her feel more confident, sultry even. It made her think that she was successful in reinventing herself. The old Midge wouldn’t let some stranger get her in front of a camera, she tells herself, pushing away her anxieties in hopes of a romantic new beginning. 

“You want to see me again?” Midge questions, chastising herself immediately for her lapse in self-confidence. 

“Definitely” Reginald promises. 

“What are your plans for tomorrow?” Midge stutters over the line. “If you’re free maybe we can get a bite to eat — or something? If you’re busy that’s okay too, I understand.” The minute she asks the question she backtracks immediately, somehow still under the assumption that Reginald would refuse. 

“I’m free” Reginald replies cooly. “What’s your address, I’ll come and pick you up. What d’you say, 4 o’clock?” 

“5823 Healy” Midge says too quickly before recovering, “I’ll see you at four o’clock sharp, Reginald” She tries to sound flirtatious but isn’t sure if it’s working for her. The man on the other end of the line laughs, low and even, sending a wave of nervous butterflies taking flight. 

“I’ll be there, Midge” He promises 

“Scout’s Honor?” She posits, calling back to their little joke from earlier. 

“Exactly”

—

Witnesses LOPEZ and VALENTINE confirm that after taking her phone call, KLUMP retreated to her basement bedroom of the residence, approx. [12:25 AM]. This is KLUMP’s last known whereabouts. 

—

He only lived three blocks away. He liked it better that way, it gave him easier access to Midge, made it easier to watch the girl from afar. If this was going to work, he needed to stick to his comfort zone. This wouldn’t be like last time. It’s what he tells himself as he sits three rows behind her in the lecture hall, when he trails the girl as she walks across the University campus to meet up with her theater friend. He passes Midge casually and walks to deposit his check from work, but the girl was gone once he circled back. 

Running into her at the Maple Club was a complete coincidence; or maybe by some stoke of luck it was fate. He knew that Midge would be receptive to his advances, though he figured he would have to work a lot harder. 

He almost felt bad, that there would be no date for the two of them to go on. 

When Reginald hung up the telephone, there was a sick sort of excitement pulsing deep through his veins. Adrenaline and anxiety were a deadly mixture. Well, not for Reginald…

He flits around the dimly lit garage as he gathers his materials. The black duffle bag was filled with everything Reggie thought he would need in this situation: wool ski mask, leather gloves, nylon stockings, bolt cutters, and red handled ice pick. A crowbar in case she tried to fight back. White clothesline rope, an orange electrical cord, strips of thinly torn bedsheets, and a pair of handcuffs as methods of restraining her. Trash bags and a small bottle of bleach for the clean-up process. Slinging the back over his shoulder, Reggie opens the garage door as quietly as possible. He starts the engine of the old VW Beetle and sits in silence as he made the quick drive three blocks over to the house on Healy Avenue. He kills the headlights when he turns into the courtyard. Parks three houses down as to not garner any suspicion. Before he exits the vehicle, Reggie pulls down the sun-visor and checks his reflection in the small mirror. He runs a hand through his hair and he smiles. 

He pulls the ski mask over his head and everything changes and suddenly he is angry and he is invincible. 

His footfalls are trained and quiet as he approaches 5823. He knows he’ll have to jump the gate. He knows that there’s a side door to Midge’s basement bedroom. When he hoists himself over the cherrywood fence he tries to be as quiet as possible, waiting an achingly long moment before making his next move, just in case a neighbor’s unsuspecting ear perked up at the noise. The bolt cutters work quickly and quietly through the metal padlock on the basement door, but again he waits to make his next move, trying his best to not wake up Midge (who he assumed was sleeping close by). Reggie moves at an agonizingly slow pace as he tries to open the basement door. Inch by inch he twists the rusty knob, the excitement bubbling now that he knew his favorite part was starting.

Who can be the quietest? It used to be Reggie’s favorite game to play as a child; taught to him by his mother as she held him close to her chest, the two of them sitting on the floor of the closet while his father went on another one of his drunken rampages. 

It was a skill that proved to be helpful to many situations such as this, because by some grace of good luck he was inside the basement with the door closed behind him and somehow Midge hadn’t even moved a muscle. Reggie paused again, letting his eyes adjust to the darkness. He takes in the appearance of the room: the cold cement walls and the water heater, the bedsheets she hung over the grey in order to give the place a little more life. Christmas lights, the good kind, the ones that popped and cracked like glass when you threw them. Midge had pictures and posters, a stack of records that was collecting dust.

And then there was Midge. 

She slept on her stomach with her long arms wrapped around her pillow, and Reggie can see her nightgown from where the duvet pulled up around her legs. He watches her worry-free features and feels a deep sort of pleasure knowing that she would never see this coming. He sets his duffle bag on the ground with a thump and Reggie’s heart drops to his stomach, thinking this would be the moment that he blew his cover. Heavy sleeper, Reggie noted as he heard nothing but a snore from Midge. He picks up a stray pillow from the floor and looks at it in his hands. 

It was like she was making this too easy… 

Reggie moved suddenly, shoving her sleeping body to flip her over onto her stomach; he wanted things to get a little bit more interesting. In wake of the movement Midge had become more alert now, eyes snapping open at the sudden weight present on top of her. With a quick movement, Reggie presses the feather pillow over her face before Midge could do so much as take a breath, not giving her a chance to scream. Her arms and legs flail wildly, trying to make contact with Reggie as her fight or flight instincts kicked in. One hand came down to grasp at her throat, the other still holding firm over the pillow. Midge’s nails claw at the old pillowcase, sharp enough to leave runs in the fabric. She manages to get a few good kicks in, and that made him angry. Reggie pulls his ice pick out of his back pocket and there’s a sick sound of skin splitting and blood gushing as he drives it deep into the flesh of her stomach. He repeats the motion again and again until he feels the languidness of her movements, can tell that the flight is almost over. Because when the fight was over, that’s when the real fun began…

#fic: lethal charm #reggie mantle au #midge klump au #reggie mantle fic #riverdale au #serial killer au #riverdale veggie fic #reggie mantle #midge klump #kevin keller #melody valentine #ginger lopez

[fanfics4all]

The Northside Serpent: Part 16

Request: Yes / No

Request are open but ONLY if they’re Halloween<3 Have a nice day/night

Sweet Pea x Keller!Reader

Word count: 2654

Warnings: I think just cursing

Y/N: Your Name

Y/N/N: Your Nickname

Summary: You’re Kevin Keller’s little sister when you’re mom left to go to war and your dad started cheating (I’m making it so he’s been cheating since season 1) You started rebelling; dying your hair, getting a nose piercing, tattoo, and hanging out on the southside.

PLEASE DO NOT STEAL MY WORK, I WORK HARD ON MY FICS AND IT’S NOT COOL TO STEAL SOMEONE ELSE’S WORK!

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1, 2, 3, 4,5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16

Masterlist

(Not my photo, credit to whoever made it!)

I was on the back of Sweet Pea’s bike, but this time it felt foreign. The was the first time he’s talked to me in weeks, or even looked at me. We were now on the southside and coming close to Sunnyside Trailer Park. I was worried what was going to happen once we go there because Sweet Pea and I still weren’t together but they way he wrapped me in his arms…

We got to their home and the bikes came to a halt. Fangs got off his and Sweet Pea hopped off after then looked at me. I just stared at them and they just looked back at me confused.

“Quinny? You okay?” Fangs asked and I blinked but nodded.

“Um…yeah…” I said and got off Sweet’s bike.

“So that was real?” Sweet Pea asked as we walked into his place.

“Yeah, dude that was fucked.” Fangs said sitting down. Sweet Pea plopped down on the other couch and again they looked at me confused.

“Seriously are you okay?” Fangs asked and I stole a glance at Sweet Pea. Fangs noticed and nodded.

“Right…” He said and then coughed awkwardly. Sweet Pea grabbed my hand and pulled me to sit next to him.

“I thought the Black hood was dead.” He said looked back at Fangs.

“They said he was, maybe it’s some sick fuck trying to be him.” Fangs said. Everything that happened at the play just hit me. Midge was dead… Murdered… I felt tears fall down my face and I let out a whimper. Sweet Pea wrapped his arms around me again and kissed my head. If I wasn’t so upset about my friend being murdered I would have pushed him away, but I leaned into him.

“It’s okay…” He said quietly. I glanced at Fangs and he just gave me a sorrowful smile.

“I think I’m gonna head home. I’ll see you guys later.” He said and then left. Sweet Pea held me to him until I stopped crying. I pulled away and looked up at him. He wiped my face and pushed some hair behind my ear.

“You’re safe.” He said and all I could do was stare at him, those eyes I missed so much.

“Why do you care?” I asked and he looked at me confused.

“You broke up with me and wouldn’t even look at me.” I said with a sniffle.

“I don’t want you to lose your family because of me.” He said with a sigh.

“I’m not losing my family because of you, I told you it’s because of my dad’s stupid decision to cheat on my mom.” I said shaking my head and looking away from him.

“I know but I’m still part of the problem, besides they’re right. You do deserve better. You deserve someone that can give you the world…” He said and I looked at him confused.

“What are you talking about? I don’t want the world, I want you.” I said grabbing his hand and he looked up at me.

“People talk Y/N. And they’re right, you’re a Northsider that could never have the life I’m sure you want with someone like me…” He said and I could see tears glossing over his eyes.

“Sweet Pea…” I said and placed my hand on his face.

“I love you. I don’t give a shit what anyone else says, I want you. I will always want you. I was proud to be with you, you are the most wonderful, badass guy in the world. You are the one and only guy in the world that I could ever want.” I said and he looked at me but couldn’t hide the smile that was on his face.

“I love you.” He said and I leaned up, placing my lips on his. He pushed me down on the couch. He deepened the kiss but I pulled back.

“I-I can’t…” I said thinking about Midge…

“Right… I’m sorry.” He said pulling back and sitting down again. I said and shook my head.

“No, it wasn’t you. Midge is dead…” I said as my eyes started watering again.

“I know, I’m sorry.” He said pulling me to him again.

“I’m also sorry for hurting you the way I did…” He said and I looked up at him.

“I’ll make it up to you.” He said and I just pecked his lips.

“Can we just go back to the way things were? Pretend we never broke up?” I asked and he nodded with a small chuckle.

“Of course babe.” He said kissing my head.

“Can I stay here tonight?” I asked and he nodded.

“Anytime.” He said then picked me up taking me to his room. He dropped me on the bed and went to look in his closet. He pulled out one of his shirts and tossed it at me. I got undressed and put it on and he smiled at me.

“I wish I could see that more often.” He said wrapping his arms around my waist and kissed my neck.

“Maybe one day.” I said with a small smile. I yawned and he kissed my cheek.

“Let’s go to sleep.” He said and I nodded. We crawled into bed and fell asleep in almost no time.

The next few days were hard on Riverdale. Everyone was dealing with Midge’s death, some better than others. My father had interrogated everyone that was part of the play, including me and my brother. It was finally time for the funeral and I was to dress in a black Vixens uniform and stand behind Cheryl as she sang for Midge.

“When you walk through a storm hold your head up high and don’t be afraid of the dark at the end of the storm there’s a golden sky and the sweet silver song of a lark… You’ll never walk alone...” Cheryl sang and we all raised our black pom-poms.

“I also feel it is my duty to say that, like the Furies of Ancient Greece, who ceaselessly pursue blood atonement when a crime’s been committed, the Vixens and I vow that we will not rest until those responsible for the murder or our sister is rightly punished.” She said and looked at my father… After that we all went back to be with everyone else. I was standing next to Sweet Pea and he pulled me into him. We listened to other people speak, then it was over. Sweet Pea, Fangs, Toni, and I were walking to leave when we saw my dad walking up to Cheryl and Mrs. Klump.

“Mrs. Klump? I just want you to know that the Sheriff’s department is working around the clock-” He was cut off by Mrs. Klump smacking him.

“Oh my god…” I said looked at them in shock.

“You’re supposed to be protecting our children! And you should be ashamed of yourself!” Mrs. Klump said and walked off.

“Your days of failing this town over and over again are numbered...Sheriff” Cheryl said and stared at them in shock.

“Great girlfriend you got there Topaz.” Fangs said and Toni smacked him.

“As much as I’m mad at my dad, he’s doing his best…” I said and Sweet Pea wrapped his arm around my shoulder.

“I’m sure everything will be find…” Sweets said and I sighed.

“Come on, let’s go to the Wyrm and try to forget about everything.” Toni said and we all nodded. The four of us went to the Wyrm, the boy were playing pool and Toni and I were at the bar.

“As much as I love Cheryl, my dad really is trying his best. He doesn’t want a killer loose, he’s worried that me or Kevin will be next…” I said with a sigh.

“Hey, I’ll admit you’re dad isn’t my favorite person in the world, but Cheryl may be going a little crazy…” She said placing a hand on my shoulder.

“And Sweet Pea would never let anything happen to you.” She said with a smile and looked over at the boys.

“None of us would.” She added and I smiled. Sweets and Fangs looked over at us then smiled.

“I’m glad you two are back together, He was a wreck without you.” Toni said with a smirk.

“Really?” I asked looking back at her.

“Yeah, the amount of time Fangs, Jughead, and I would annoying him just apologize to you was insane.” She said and I smiled.

We spent a few hours at the Wyrm until I needed to go home. Sweet Pea drove me home and my brother was standing outside. He gave me a disappointed look and shook his head. I sighed and he went back inside. I turned around and Sweet Pea looked at me sadly.

“Maybe I shouldn’t give you rides home anymore…” He said but I shook my head.

“No, Sweet Pea, I love you and nothing my family say or do will make me change the way I feel about you.” I said and he smiled at me.

“I don’t want to-”

“You won’t.” I said cutting him off. He sighed and I placed my lips on his.

“Goodnight, I’ll see you at school tomorrow?” I said and he nodded.

“Goodnight babe.” He said and gave me peck. He drove off and I went inside to see Kevin waiting for me.

“You’re back together?” He asked me.

“Yes Kevin, I told you I love him.” I said rolling my eyes.

“I know but-”

“But nothing! I’m happy with him, can’t that be enough for you and dad!?” I shouted. Kevin stared at me shocked and I just went up to my room.

The next day we had school, it was very weird to be here after what happened but everyone seemed to be adjusting. I was at cheer practice with Cheryl when my brother stormed in.

“Cheryl, what the hell are you doing?” He asked and Cheryl got up.

“Kevin. No doubt you’ve read my think-piece in ‘The Register’.” She said and I stood up looking at the two confused.

“Yeah, I did, and I demand a retraction! You’re smearing my father!” He shouted.

“Wait what?” I asked and Kevin handed me the paper. I skimmed over it and looked at Cheryl shocked.

“What the hell Cheryl? Our dad is doing his best!” I asked annoyed and she scoffed.

“Your father’s been incompetent since the beginning of time. And now that more bodies are dropping, he needs to step down. Lady Justice will be served, my Vixens and I will see to it.” She said and I scoffed.

“Then I don’t want to be a Vixen anymore!” I said shoving the paper into her chest.

“Y/N/N, you’re mad at your dad, you should agree with me!” She said and I rolled my eyes.

“I may be pissed at him but no way in hell will I be apart of your little revenge schema!” I said and grabbed my brothers arm. I pulled him out of the gym and he stopped me when we were in the hall.

“What?” I asked and he just smiled.

“At least we know you don’t hate dad.” He said and I rolled my eyes.

“I don’t hate him, I’m just pissed he’s ruining our family.” I said and Kevin pulled me into a hug but I pushed him away.

“Don’t even. Not until you and dad can get over your whole hating the Southside shit.” I said and he sighed. I looked behind my brother and saw Sweet Pea walking with Fangs and Toni.

“I’ll see you at home later.” I said and then walked over to them.

“Hey babe, I thought you had practice?” Sweet Pea asked.

“I’m not a Vixen anymore.” I said shrugging. The three of them stared at me with wide eyes.

“What? You love being a Vixen!” Toni said shocked.

“Cheryl attacked my dad in the paper and I told her I wasn’t gonna be part of her revenge schema.” I said and Toni looked at me.

“I’ll talk to her.” She said then walked off.

“Well, since you’re not in practice anymore…” Fangs said and I looked at him.

“Yes?” I asked.

“Wanna hang out with us? We were gonna go to Pea’s place and watch some movies.” He said and I nodded.

“Sounds great!” I smiled.

“Yeah, as long as you don’t mind being the third wheel.” Sweets said to Fangs.

“I’m pretty sure you’ll be the third wheel.” Fangs said and picked me up. He tossed me over his shoulder and started running out of the school.

“Hey!” Sweet Pea shouted and ran after us. I giggled and Fangs put me on the back of his bike.

“See you there!” He called and drove off while we were laughing. We got there and Sweet Pea wasn’t too long after. He ran up to us and grabbed me.

“Don’t you even try to steal my girl! We both know there’s no competition.” He said carrying me inside. Fangs and I couldn’t stop laughing. Sweet Pea sat me on my lap and held me close.

“You know I love you baby.” I said and kissed his nose. He grumbled but couldn’t help but smile. The three of us watch some movies and had a little bit of a popcorn fight. I was having a great time until my brother called me.

“Hello?” I answered.

“Come outside, we need to get home.” He said and I looked out Sweet Pea’s window confused. Kevin was outside in the car waiting for me.

“What are you doing here?” I asked.

“Y/N it’s late, let’s just go home.” He said and I sighed.

“Fine.” I said and hung up. I got up and the two boys looked at me confused.

“Sorry boys, I gotta go home.” I said grabbing my bag.

“Awww come on.” They both said.

“Sorry, I’ll see you guys tomorrow.” I said and gave Sweet Pea a kiss. Fangs cleared his throat and I looked at him confused. He pouted and I shook my head. I walked over to him and gave him a kiss on the cheek.

“What did I tell you! She’s so into me more than you!” Fangs said and I giggled.

“Oh shut it!” Sweets said and he opened the door for me. I laughed and gave him another kiss.

“I love you.” I said and he smirked at Fangs.

“Ii love you too babe.” He said and then I left with Kevin. When we got home the lights were out and we looked at each other confused.

“Dad?” Kevin called and checked his office. He grabbed my hand and pulled me in with him. Our dad was sitting in the dark drinking.

“Are you okay?” I asked and he shook his head.

“Deputy Mayor has demanded that I step down as Sheriff. Turn in my badge. If Fred Anders get elected Mayor, then I live to fight another day. And if Hermione Lodge wins, well, then, I’m out on my ass.” He said taking another drink.

“We’ll campaign for Mr. Andrews 24/7. But you can’t desert your post in the middle of a crisis.” Kevin said.

“Kids, if I resign, they’ll likely bring in somebody from the outside. Someone who could hopefully catch the Black Hood.” He said and I walked over and kneeled down.

“You can catch the Black Hood. You’re good at your job, don’t listen to anything Cheryl says!” I said and he shook his head.

“I can’t catch him…” He said with a sigh and then looked at Kevin.

“Take you sister to her room.” My dad said and my brother sighed. He came over and told me follow him. He took me to my room and sat me down.

“What’s gonna happen?” I asked worried.

“We’ll be okay, don’t worry.” He said and hugged me.

“We’re be okay…” He repeated.

Tag list: @54fangirl @southsidehufflepuff @xrosesareredx @cvvlxx @skeletalwolfcat @demigodofthesun @depressed-octopods-art @nalayrene @yourfavouritefuckup @staygoldsquatchling02 @sataninsatin @im-socialy-awkward-no-joke @dark-night-sky-99 @aframeofbones @jojokoko0717 @nixdunbarhale @wanderlust-and-poetry @theyouthfulmoon @seasiren96 @nixdunbarhale2 @misskarynie @emo-godess-loves-you @serpent-stan @a--smallgirlinabigworld @ohlookmybed @everheart12 @sailorsolar12 @screamxqueenx94 @les-bio-lie @tashy-bear @xrosesareredx @herokyolachan @ashwarren32 @hollie-blogs @schisbro87 @lover-of-books-and-teas @nerdygaloresposts @alex--awesome--22 @teenwolfbitches2 @blueandgoldaus @southsidefandoms @emo-godess-loves-you @hiya-imthatgirl @answer-the-sirens @mindsetjupiter @averysinclaire @mittelerde1999 @sweetest-peas @rousewriter @jjkingston @k-is-cray@staygoldsquatchling02 @wanderlust-and-poetry @hiighdeex3 @blueberry-lipgloss @ayeitsjaz @nadiagazecka @mysticrebelwerewolf @tht1wrdo @thegirlallthebadguyswant @widowsgirl

#riverdale #riverdale serpents #riverdale imagine #riverdale season 2 #sweet pea #sweet pea x reader #sweet pea x you #sweet pea imagine #sweet pea x keller!reader #kevin keller #Kevin x sister!reader #kevin keller x sister!reader #fangs fogarty #toni topaz #Cheryl Blossom #toni x cheryl #sheriff keller #Sheriff keller x mayor mccoy #sheriff keller x daughter #fanfic

[maiselous]

A Case for Less (Eye)Candy

I really hate to say it but I got a bone to pick with Midge’s wardrobe. Actually, it speaks to the larger critiques of the show, and for me, specifically of Season 2. In short, Midge has too many damn clothes.

And the clothes themselves are not the issue. They’re gorgeous eye-candy that are lovely and captivating enough to keep your eye on the screen, on Midge. They’re part of the charm of the show.

But at the same time, Maisel is about empowerment, especially in the face of adversity. Midge is supposed to make us feel empowered, so it would be helpful if we could relate to her.

My argument is that her wardrobe as a whole detracts from her relatability because it’s overly posh and colossal. It’s almost non-diegetic. It exists majorly for our viewing pleasure. It’s its own joke-like theme in the show. Midge loves shopping. She uses it to celebrate and to distract herself. Susie grumbles about the sheer bottomless-ness of her closet. 

And it’s been exacerbated this past season. Remember “The Look” at the literal grand finale of Season 1? It helped us feel the grandiosity of the scene! We felt the luscious culmination of the whole season in The Look. In Season 2 she had like, three more really similar dresses, which I’m sure she bought in anticipation of more big shows. But still. When all her her clothes look like The Look, The Look is less powerful for the audience. 

With all these bottomless accoutrements, Midge Maisel and her life/struggles/triumphs become a little less accessible to us, because we don’t have all that stuff. There’s a disconnect between her world and ours.

If I may dig a little deeper, there’s a bigger reason to keep her wardrobe excessively large; it’s to keep up the dream-like atmosphere. When we watch Maisel, we’re already draped in several layers of rose-colored fantasy. Keeping Midge Barbie-like in her wardrobe bolsters the fantasy-like quality of the show and keeps it in its own “bubble”, which I’m not sure is the best way to approach anything. The wardrobe, much like the music in a production, can and sometimes should reach out to the audience in a way that connects us to the story.

But look, I’m not gonna stop reblogging pics of the clothes. They’re objectively beautiful. And you guys know me, I usually roll with what show runners put in front of me. So if this is the flavor they want me to leave with, I’m good with it. And this show is far from the only show/film drowning in its own stylism.  

I personally think that Maisel would benefit from downsizing Midge’s closet. Every scene in this show packs a punch. Just think of how much more powerful they would be if we saw the outfits repeated a bit more. And they do repeat some! Just like, RARELY.  I think it would do a lot to make Midge more relatable and “normal”. It would put her more in our universe. And it’s not like the show needs all these shiny new clothes every episode. The set pieces and performances are already so strong. Besides, there’s nothing wrong with being an outfit-repeater!

#The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel #marvelous mrs. maisel #mrs. maisel #midge maisel #miriam maisel #wardrobe #does this post make me look proletariat-y? #then i might be onto something #Amy Sherman-Palladino #tv #amazon #production

[maeve-of-winter]

(1/2) Cheryl got a whole explanation on why she joined the Farm (seeingJason, agreeing to be Betty’s mole etc.) and Kevin got a little 1 minute explanation on why he missed Moose and that’s it. It’s not even because of Koose, because I love Kevin and Moose together. It’s the fact that even after, in 3x14, he was (as the fans say) mean to Betty, and the writers didn’t even explained his loneliness etc.

Yeah, you can really tell who the writers favor and who they really don’t care about. We could have gotten a really measured depiction of Kevin being gradually snared by the cult due to his loneliness. Even just one subplot in one episode of him struggling and his friends not having time for him and stuff like that, and then at the end him meeting someone from the Farm and them inviting for a meeting. But we couldn’t even get that. Just suddenly, Kevin is a member of the cult, and not even so we can get a plot about him. No, we get this plot of a gay character struggling and being lonely so a straight character who has a regular steady het romance can be frustrated by it. Even Kevin’s plot about joining the cult doesn’t really feature him; it’s all about Betty and how difficult it is for her.

Maybe that’s why the show didn’t really want to demonstrate him actually feeling lonely? Because it might risk Betty looking like a bad friend who doesn’t have time for him? (And look . . . she never really does. They’re almost never seen doing anything together, either working together or hanging out outside of the group. I’m going to say it’s happened maybe five times maximum, including the times that are her confronting him.)

And it is really frustrating to see how in contrast, we get basically entire sagas focusing on Cheryl and her struggles. Because I guess Riverdale has a limit of only one gay character’s pain being allowed to be relevant, and they’ve decided that it’s always going to be Cheryl, and no other LGBT character can ever have an exploration of their struggles? It would certainly explain why poor Toni is treated more like Cheryl’s plaything than an actual independent person with feeling.

It’s very disappointing, because there are so many opportunities, past and present, to explore how Kevin’s feeling. How he felt about finding Jason’s body, how he felt about finding Moose and Midge after they were shot, how he felt about getting those threatening letters and then Midge dying, how he felt about Joaquin leaving, how he felt about Joaquin dying, how he felt about gaining a stepmother and stepsister and then suddenly having to share his father, how he felt about Moose leaving, what specifically he thought the Farm could offer him . . . but it is never, ever explained, and it always feels like such a waste. 

And then because we never get an onscreen portrayal of his pain, certain contingents of Betty’s fans show up to insist that nothing he’s going through counts and generally act like the only reason he chose to join the cult was to upset Betty, not because he’s actually suffering, and that Betty’s the only person whose feelings should matter. It’s deeply vexing.

#kevin keller #betty cooper #cheryl blossom #toni topaz #choni #riverdale #Anonymous

[those70scomics]

Links to the Rest of the Story: Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3, Chapter 4, Outline for the End

Disclaimer: That '70s Show copyright The Carsey-Werner Company, LLC and Twentieth Century Fox Home Entertainment, LLC.

CHAPTER FIVE THE CIRCLE

“Honey,” Eric's mom said at the kitchen table, “what kind of food does Donna like?” Eric was halfway through his breakfast, pancakes slathered in maple syrup. He gulped down some orange juice, in preparation to give his mom a thorough answer, but his dad spoke first: “How's the boy supposed to know that? He's barely met the girl.” “I just though he'd seen what she'd eaten at lunch. Eric, you have been sitting at lunch with her, haven't you?” “Oh, yeah,” Eric said, and it wasn't a complete lie. He'd eaten lunch with her once in this life but thousands of times in his other one. “Chicken Parmesan's her favorite meal. She, uh … she told me. She also loves strawberries.” Mom smiled, and her blue eyes crinkled. “Thank you, sweetie. I'm going grocery shopping for our dinner this Saturday. I want to make sure Donna's comfortable. Her father looks like he'll eat anything, and Midge—” She twirled a finger around her temple. “She probably won't notice what she's eating.” “What you're mother's trying to say, Eric,” Red said and turned the page of his newspaper, “is that the neighbor girl's mom is a ditz.” “Red, I did not say that.” She nodded at Eric and mouthed, “That's exactly what I'm saying.”

Eric ate a bite of pancakes, and the syrup  tasted sweeter than before. Even if he wasted today and tomorrow, that dinner would give him and Donna a real chance to bond. All he had to do was not alienate her further. But Coach Ferguson alienated him during gym. It was the first class of the day. Twenty-five minutes in, and Eric's second greatest wish was never to see a soccer ball again. He'd been made goalie of his team for some incomprehensible reason. The soccer ball sailed past him one too many times, and the more athletic students on his team converged on him. “Hey, quit it!” Kelso said and moved in front of Eric. “He may be a lousy goalie, but he's got it up here.” Kelso pointed to his head. “He knows stuff. Spooky stuff.” “Either take his place, Smells-so,” Kevin Oakridge shouted, “or get outta the way!” “Fine!” Kelso turned around and patted Eric on the shoulder. “Take my position. I got you covered.” Eric left the orange cones that served as goal posts. He had trouble believing what had just happened, but when he glanced back at Kelso, Kelso gave him a thumbs-up. Several minutes later, Eric blocked a kick from Fez, who was on the opposing team. The ball slammed into Eric's stomach, and he grunted. Fez had put all his strength into the shot, as if he were aiming for Eric's beanbags and not the goal. “Fez,” Eric said as Kevin took control of the ball, but Fez sprinted to another part of the gym. Gym ended, as always, with Eric covered in sweat. He had a few short minutes to towel off and change from his gym clothes. By the time he was finished, Kelso and Fez were both gone from locker room. No chance to ask them questions. During homeroom, Eric found Hyde but no answers. “Have no clue what's going on in Kelso's skull.” Hyde said. “You got history class with him next. Find out.” Eric planned on doing just that, but his shoulders stiffened as Mrs. Bridges went through the school announcements. “How did you know I have history?” Hyde's attention was on Mrs. Bridges, and he gestured for Eric to be quiet. “You're such a teacher's pet,” Eric said. “Get bent, Forman.” But Hyde seemed more annoyed than pissed, and he walked with Eric to the hallway after homeroom. “Donna's got history,” he said. Eric’s stomach hollowed out. Hyde had memorized Donna's schedule, just as Eric had done in his other life. Hyde wanted her, just as Eric did. Only, in this life, Hyde had a much better chance with her.

Eric entered history class unsure of where to sit. Donna and Kelso were already at their usual desks, with Pam Macy sitting beside Kelso. But as Eric passed by their aisle, Kelso shouted, “You!” Eric braced himself for an attack. Kelso's friendly attitude in gym class must’ve been an anomaly — or a setup — but the attack never came. “Why're you just standing there?” Kelso said and slapped Donna's desk. “Sit down.” Eric looked at Donna questioningly, but she offered him no assurances. She had her pencil out and wrote in her notebook. Kelso slapped her desk again. “Move down a seat, Donna.” She continued writing. “Knock it off, dillhole” . “Move down a seat.” Kelso shut her notebook. “Me and Eric have to talk.” She glared at him. “What?” “Kelso, leave her alone,” Eric said. “I'll go somewhere else—” “No, I'll go.” She picked up her notebook and backpack and left the aisle completely. Eric's instinct was to grab her arm and tell her to wait, but he took her desk instead. Kelso leaned in close to him and whispered, “I gotta thank you.” He hiked his thumb at Pam Macy. “Me and Pam didn't stop at making out yesterday.” “That's … fantastic, Kelso.” Eric tore a page from his notebook and began turning it into a paper football. “So why, exactly, are you thanking me?” “Because you know me better than myself. I can't be tied down to one woman, and Pam's totally cool about me fooling around with other chicks. That was your plan all along, to free me from monogamy.” Eric ripped his piece of paper in half. “Sure.” Kelso wagged a finger in Eric's face. “I see your plan now. You're here to make all our lives better, like some kind of genie. The Genie of Janesville.” Eric didn't argue. If Kelso thought Eric was supernatural, so be it. Better than having to fend off Kelso's fists everyday. “So who're you gonna help next?” Kelso said. “Hyde?” “Who knows?” Eric was folding his strip of paper into triangles. “But no hard feelings about Jackie?” “No way. She would've told me not to fool around with other girls, and Pam—” Kelso's next word was garbled. His body jerked back, and Eric spotted the cause. Pam Macy's arm was under Kelso's desk, and a smirk glided over her lips. Eric focused on finishing his paper football. Donna didn't know how lucky she was he'd taken her desk. Mr. Wilcox arrived to class late but not late enough for Kelso. Pam withdrew her hand from him, and Kelso shrieked. He pushed himself from the desk and fled the classroom, no doubt to finish Pam’s work in the bathroom. Mr. Wilcox cleared his throat and continued the week's lesson the Cold War. Kelso's absence had to be on his mind. Class disruptions were more than a pet peeve to him. He took them as a personal affront, which was why Eric behaved himself during class. Getting a detention in this life would interfere with his other life, depriving him of a precious hour to win Donna back. “People aren't property,” Mr. Wilcox said when Kelso eventually returned. “But in communist societies, everyone is treated as a slave — and you, Mr. Kelso, will see me after class.” “But I see you now,” Kelso said. “After class, Mr. Kelso.” “Fine!” Class continued with Kelso scrawling angry notes. Eric glanced at Kelso's notebook, afraid that Kelso blamed him for his trouble, but Kelso wrote about experiencing his own Cold War because of Mr. Wilcox. Eric didn't leave his desk when the bell rang. He had study hall with Donna next, with Mrs. Fletcher supervising. It would be a prime talking opportunity, but he needed to give Donna space. She had to see he wouldn't pen her in, and letting her walk the halls without him stepping on her heels was a good start. Kelso sneaked behind Pam on his way out of the row, but Mr. Wilcox called him to the front of the classroom. “I had a bathroom emergency!” Kelso shouted after a minute-and-a-half, and that was Eric's signal to leave. He strolled out of the classroom, walking slowly to give Donna even more time. If he bumped into her in the stairwell or hallway, that was fate's fault, not his. But he got to study hall without seeing her, and her red hair was like a signal fire. He found her easily among the other students already seated. The tables were full of yammering guys and chattering girls, including Jackie and her cheer-squad friends. Donna had taken a table in the corner and seemed to be actually studying. Eric curled his fingers into his palms. His hands weren't sweaty yet, but his heart beat loudly in his ears. Donna's affect on him was as frustrating as it was necessary. In his other life, those few hours without her had turned him into a breathing corpse. Having to live a lifetime without her wasn't a prospect he'd consider. “Can I sit at the table with you?” he said by her shoulder, and her head dropped to her chest, like he was intolerable to her. “I don't mean next to you.” He gestured to the other end of the table. “I'll sit over there, but I figured I'd ask your permission since you think I'm — well, since you don't like me very much.” Her head rose with a sigh. “It’s a free country.” He went to the end of the table and sat down. His blood thrummed with his pulse, with his small victory. She hadn't rejected him. She hadn't pushed him away, and he removed the triangular paper football from his backpack.

“Will you ever talk to me again?” he wrote on the football and flicked it across the table. His aim was perfect. The paper football landed on Donna's notebook, and every gaze at the table turned toward it, including Donna's.

Her hand glided over the football and pulled it closer. She must have read his message because her hair fell over her face, and she wrote on the football herself. The football sailed through the air a moment later and smacked Eric in the chin. “I haven't decided yet,” she'd written below his message. He ran his thumb over her round, feminine scrawl before writing, “I'm not an asshole.”

He tossed the paper football across the table. Hands not belonging to Donna reached for it, but they were too slow. Donna snatched the football from the table and wrote on it again. She threw it back to Eric, and her message said, “But you are creepy.” “And you're judgmental,” he wrote. “True,” her next message said. “Sorry.” “But I can see why you think I'm creepy,” he wrote and threw the paper football to her. It hit her arm; but she read his message, wrote below it, and tossed the football back. “How did you know?” her message said. The question was tiny but not illegible. That side of the paper football had run out of writing space, and he flipped it over to the other side. “I dove head-first into Kelso and Jackie's lives the first day I met them.” He chucked the football toward Donna, but someone grabbed it out of the air: Debbie Filipelli, an honors student and well-known gossip-monger. Donna stood from the table and moved menacingly toward her, and Debbie relinquished the football to Donna's custody. Donna took a moment to write her next message, and she hurled the paper football so hard it overshot the table. Eric had to get up to retrieve it. The power she put into her throw must’ve been for safety's sake, to prevent other people from getting the football. “No,” her message began. “I mean, how did you know Kelso was a cheater?” “Our first history class,” he wrote. “His eyes + Pam Macy's boobs. Simple math.” She smiled as she read his message, and he grinned at reading her next one: “So you're not a sociopath. You're just perceptive?” “Yes!” he wrote, and the tip of his pencil broke in his enthusiasm. He pulled a pen from his backpack and kept writing. “That's what I've been trying to tell you.” He'd drawn smiley-face beside the last word, but she didn't seem to appreciate his artwork or his message. She unfolded the football and refolded it, exposing a blank space to write.

“You're also a busy body,” her message said, “sticking your nose into other people's business.” “Was trying to help,” he wrote. She read his message looked over at Jackie, who was deep in conversation with her fellow cheerleaders. Jackie gestured wildly, and her voice carried but not enough for Eric to make out full sentences. Donna inhaled a heavy breath. Her shoulders drooped while she wrote, and she flicked the football back to Eric. She'd given him her longest response yet: “You probably did help Jackie, but I haven't made my mind up about you. You could still be a sociopath in a perceptive guy's body.” “Fair enough,” he wrote back, “but I promise you, Donna, I don't want anything from you other than friendship.” It was a lie. He wanted a lot more from her than friendship, but that was in his other life. In this one, all he wanted — needed — from her was a kiss. “Sociopaths lie to get what they really want,” her next message said. “Actions speak louder than words.” He turned the paper football around for a clear space to write in large letters, “What do you really want?” She read his message and stuck her pencil between her teeth. Her fingers drummed on the table, and her gaze drifted to the ceiling before writing him back. “For you not to be so damn creepy.” It was her last message to him. By the time he looked up from the football, she was on her way out of the study hall. He stuffed the paper football into his backpack. He and Donna hadn’t developed any trust between them yet, but at least she'd started to communicate with him.

But he still had plenty of work to do — and not just with her. He approached Jackie’s table, and six pairs of eyes turned toward him. They belonged to the cheer squad, and he found no kindness in them, only judgment. “Jackie,” he said, “it's time to settle up.” Jackie rose from her chair. “Not here,” she whispered and pointed to the center of the room. She strode ahead of him. He followed, but standing in the middle of all the tables made him feel exposed. Even Mrs. Fletcher glanced at him from her desk. “Can't we sit somewhere?” he said. She scoffed and clasped her hands behind her back. “Where people can't see exactly what we're doing? Please. Do you know how much damage control I had to do because of Timmy Wilson's big, fat mouth? I'm sorry, Derek, but...” She jutted out her bottom lip in what had to be false-sympathy. “You're just too skinny and weird for me to make-out with, despite that you're friends with Buddy Morgan.” “Okay, first of all, it's Eric, not Derek. Second...” A scathing burn surfaced in his mind, but she hadn't paid him yet. If he antagonized her, she could back out of their deal. “All I want from you is those tickets.” “What tickets?” He gaped at her. She couldn't have forgotten their bargain. She'd just referenced the gossipy fall-out from their negotiations. “To the Rundgren concert in Milwaukee!” “Oh.” She examined her nails, as if this conversation couldn't be more boring. “My dad left for a business trip this morning. He won't be back until Sunday night, so I can't get you any Todd Rundergament tickets.” She lookat at him again. “But I heard there's a Rush concert in two weeks. I could get you tickets for that.” He gripped the top of his hair, and his cheeks grew hot. “For the love of — I ask you to do one thing!” “Don't shout at me!” She swung her foot at him. It connected with his shin, and pain spread through his tibia. He doubled over with a grunt, and by the time he recovered, she was back at her table of cheerleaders.

Eric spent all of music class fantasizing about calling WFPP, winning the Rundgren tickets, and presenting them to Donna. He thought about it on his way to the cafeteria, about the kiss she'd give him as a reward. The angel didn't specify that the kiss be on Eric's lips. A kiss, freely given, to his cheek had to count just as much. “Gross” Edna — Hyde's mom — dropped a greasy hamburger onto Eric's tray. He grabbed a fistful of potato chips and scurried from her sight. She was known to bitch-out students if they didn't move fast enough. Eric went toward Buddy's table. The spot across from Buddy was unoccupied, but shouts of “Eric, over here!” and “Yo, Forman!” drew his attention. Kelso and Hyde were calling him to their table. This was new, and Eric grasped his tray hard enough to make his knuckles hurt. Fez was still in the lunch line, but his objections to Eric's presence would likely be ignored. Donna, though, was seated next to Hyde. She bit into a potato chip and stared at Eric, as if challenging him to sit across from her. She had no idea who she was messing with: a man with his future on the line. He changed directions and sat at her table. “So, any of you manage to bag tickets to the Rundgren concert?” he said before anyone else spoke. He had to act cool, as if Kelso and Hyde's invitation weren't a big deal. “'Cause I've had no luck.” “Been calling every night,” Hyde said. “Got through once — and was caller number eight.” “That sucks.” Eric bit into his hamburger. A mixture of grease and meat juice dribbled onto his chin, and he wiped it up with a napkin. A person had to be caller number thirteen to win tickets. “Timing is everything,” he said. “Too bad we don't have someone working there who could help us out.” Hyde angled his head toward the ceiling as he chewed his last bite of food. Eric recognized the look. Hyde was mulling over an idea. “While I'm against nepotism in any form,” he eventually said, “getting concert tickets could make me abandon my principles.” Kelso laughed. “Yeah. I'd abandon Principal Pridewell on the side of the road for Rundgren tickets.” “Principles,” Donna said, “not principals, you dink.” She picked up her hamburger but didn't bite into it. “Oh, man, I'd love to work for WFPP.” “And I'd love to work for Jackie,” Fez said. He'd arrived with a tray piled high with potato chips and sat beside Eric. “I'd be her assistant, and eventually she'd let me choose her outfits, and I'd be there while she got dressed—” “Fez, gross,” Donna said. “Could you at least try to be less skeevy?” Kelso thrust a potato chip in Fez's face. “If you go after Jackie, man, I'll shove one of these where the sun don't shine.” “Why would I care if you shove a potato chip in Sweden?” Fez snatched the chip from Kelso's fingers and ate it. “I mean it,” Kelso said. “Jackie's mine.” “But I thought you didn't want Jackie anymore,” Fez said. “Not if she's the only chick I can fool around with. But after I'm doing it with all the girls who don't care about stuff like that, I'll give Jackie a chance.” “But that could be years!” Kelso shrugged. “Thems the breaks, Fez.” Donna's nose wrinkled. “Give me a break. Kelso, Jackie can date whoever she wants, including Fez. You don't own her.” Eric instinct was to back her up. If they'd been in his other life, he would've done it without hesitation. But here, she might interpret his support as undermining her.

He kept his mouth shut, but Hyde said, “Hey, I don't want Fez dating Jackie either. We just got her out of our life, thanks to Forman.” “No, thanks to Kelso being a horny pig,” Donna said. “And, apparently, a self-entitled one.” “A self-en-what?” Kelso said. She put up her hand dismissively. “Never mind.” Fez put up his hand the same way examined it. “This feels powerful.” He held his hand steady and glared at both Kelso and Hyde in turn. “If I choose to pursue Jackie, that is my choice.” “But, Fez—” Kelso said. “My choice!” Fez put down his hand and continued to eat. “Whatever.” Hyde swiped a potato chip from Donna's tray. “Study sesh after school?” “Sure,” she said. Their easy interaction occupied Eric's mind through the rest of lunch. Donna's friendship with Hyde was impenetrable, inviolable. Trying to get between them would be a foolish endeavor. As much as the idea soured his stomach, he'd have to treat them as if they were two parts of a whole. Being on Hyde's good side had gotten him this far. If Eric concentrated on that, it might get him even farther.

OUTLINE MODE BEGINS

Chemistry class. Eric and Buddy continue the lab experiment from yesterday and write down the results.

Buddy Morgan says, “Things must have gone well yesterday because you sat with the redhead at lunch.”

Eric says yes and no. Donna thinks Eric's creepy, etc. And Jackie flaked out on giving Eric the Rundgren tickets. The bargains he's made here so far aren't panning out.

Buddy says that's too bad.

Buddy's a bit cold to Eric, and Eric wonders if it has to do with Eric not eating lunch with him.

Eric asks if Buddy wants to hang out with Eric after school. Eric says he plans on going to Donna's house, and there's no reason Buddy can't come, too. Buddy thanks him, smiling, but declines. He has plans of his own.

Eric leaves school concerned about his friendship with Buddy. He hopes he didn't lose it by not eating lunch with him one day. The Buddy in his other life isn't so sensitive or fickle. But in less than three days, this life's Buddy won’t be a concern for him anymore.

Eric cringes at that thought. It sounds so callous. Tomorrow, he’d make sure Buddy knows Eric really does appreciate him.

Eric also wants to make a peace offering to Donna and Hyde. So he buys pot from Leo at the Fotohut.

Afterward, Eric goes to Donna's with the pot in his backpack. Donna opens the front door, and Hyde's on the living room couch. His and Donna’s trig notebooks are open. They really are studying.

Eric shows them the bag of pot.

Hyde says, “Holy hell.”

Donna says, “Whoa.” Eric says, “And I've got the perfect place to smoke it.”

ERIC'S BASEMENT. Eric locks both basement doors, the one to the kitchen and the one to the outside. Donna comments on the creepiness of that, asks if Eric plans on getting them high them murdering them.

Hyde says Donna's paranoid, which Eric finds funny since Hyde's the paranoid one in Eric's other life.

Eric says it's just a safety precaution. If Eric's parents catch them down here, he's dead.

Donna says, “Some perfect place to smoke.”

Hyde tells Donna to lighten up on Eric.

DURING the circle, Eric tries to guide the conversation to women's rights. But Hyde's much better at talking about them than Eric is. Hyde, in Eric's other life, always was, too.

BY THE TIME the circle is over, Eric wonders why Donna was ever with Eric in his other life. Eric sucks, but he can do better. He prays to God that if he gets that kiss from Donna, he'll read all the Feminist books that exist.

The angel appears and says this is bargaining. “And didn't you say your bargains don't pan out?”

Eric says this whole situation is a bargain. The angel can't argue. Eric asks if he's doomed to failure. The angel says he's got a little more than three days left to figure that out. 

#That 70s Show #That '70s Show #Eric Forman #Donna Pinciotti #Steven Hyde #Fanfic #One Difference: The Angel Offers Eric Another Choice #Fez #Michael Kelso #Jackie Burkhart #Eric x Donna #Eric and Donna #Buddy Morgan

[nanonaturalist]

I've been meaning to message you since the moth appreciation post because like I need to talk/know more about that moth that lays eggs in water? What the f-ing what? That is mental. I didn't know we had aquatic moths! (I currently have lots of Garden Tiger babies at home for a uni experiment. I love my fuzzy babies.)

Hello, Friend! Isn’t that ridiculous?? I only recently learned about Petrophila moths [link], too, and when I read that about their caterpillars, my mind practically exploded. Nature is so weird. But these moths with aquatic caterpillars caught my notice for a totally different reason initially: they are jumping spider mimics.

You can see from these photos that they’re not very large. If you weren’t really paying attention, you may not even notice anything unusual about them. The first time I saw them, I definitely didn’t notice that they were spider mimics. But one night, I went to a talk about moths, and the presenter talked about these and I thought it was awesome! She had a mercury vapor lamp set up outside after the talk for us to see some moths, and a Petrophila showed up. I was super excited! When I went to add the photo to iNaturalist, thinking I’d seen something new, it turned out I had already seen them at least four times.

You may not even be able to see how these are spider mimics. They don’t really *look* like spiders, do they? But remember, our eyes are much different than insect eyes, and we have the benefit of seeing things from far away. We can see this isn’t a spider. But imagine you are a small predatory insect or a spider, and you are in front of this moth looking at it. What will you see?

Jumping spiders above are Dimorphic Jumper (left) and Bold Jumper

Anyway, back to the aquatic caterpillars. I’m sure you know that most moths and butterflies have perfectly normal caterpillars who eat leaves, make poops, and turn into perfectly normal moths and butterflies. So finding out that one type refuse to play by those rules just seems super weird. But is it, really? Or is it just weird because… well, we have an idea of what caterpillars are supposed to be, whether or not that idea is accurate?

For example, look at some other insect orders with complete metamorphosis (they have larvae, pupate, and then become adults). Flies are a huge group. Where do fly larvae live? You know about maggots and food, but what about mosquitos? Those are flies too, and their larvae are aquatic. What about parasitic botflies that grow in animal tissue? What about gall midges who parasitize plants? Caterpillars will grow up in equally diverse habitats (although, I don’t know of an animal parasite… yet). Same with beetles–larvae will live on plants, underground, in water, in wood… 

But let’s look a little closer to moths and butterflies, since most caterpillars are fairly predictable in terms of habitat, and the exceptions aren’t very well known. Here’s a phylogenetic tree showing the evolutionary history of insects. In this tree, branches that are closer together are more closely related.

Note: I found this tree in an image search, but I was unable to locate the original source. I would love to credit it if I can! Let me know if you have seen this in a book before.

In this tree, I have circled the branch including Lepidoptera (moths and butterflies). Look at who else is in that circle: Trichoptera (caddisflies). Below are a couple examples of caddisflies. Chances are you have seen them before (they are pretty ubiquitous near ponds, lakes, streams, and rivers!), but had no idea what they were.

Caddisflies are also very difficult to identify. The one on the left is in the Macrostemum genus (zebra caddisflies), but the one on the right… uh… I’ll get back to you on that one.

There are a lot of moths that look pretty similar to caddisflies, so it’s easy to see that they are closely related.

Left to right: Yellow-headed Lichen Moth, Belted Grass-veneer Moth, Bluegrass Webworm Moth

These look so similar, in fact, you may ask how they even grouped them into different orders. This is easy to answer if you know your scientific names AND Greek! Moths & Butterflies = Lepidoptera (Lepido = scale; ptera = wing)Caddisflies = Trichoptera (Tricho = hair; ptera = wing)

Since I have an electron microscope at work (the “nano” in my username refers to my background in nanotechnology), I felt obligated to illustrate this. The white bar on each image shows the magnification. “um” refers to “micrometer,” or 1/1,000 of a millimeter. A human hair is typically about 100 um wide. (If you have questions about electron microscopes, let me know! These things are fun!)

Typical Lepidoptera (Moth & Butterfly) Wing

Above: Images of the scales on an American Snout Butterfly wing obtained with Scanning Electron Microscopy. Compare the scales in the middle of the wing to those on the edge of the wing.

Typical Trichoptera (Caddisfly) Wing

Above: Images of the hairs on a caddisfly wing obtained with Scanning Electron Microscopy. Note the similarities in the how the caddisfly hairs and butterfly scales attach to the wings.

Looking at these images, it’s pretty clear that they are different. But you have to look *very closely* to notice this difference, and when you look even closer than that, you start to see similarities again.

Guess where caddisfly larvae grow up! If you don’t already know about caddisfly larvae, oh boy, they’re fun!

It may be hard to tell, but I took this photo with an underwater camera. Caddisfly larvae build little cases by cementing together stones, pine needles, sand, or a variety of other things. You can sometimes identify the larvae based on what materials they use and what shape the cases are in. An interesting aside: if you raise these, you can get them to build their cases out of whatever you want. At least one person got creative, and I’m happy to see that she is still selling caddisfly jewelry over 20 years later!

I don’t mean to turn this post into an advertisement, but her stuff is beautiful and super interesting. She describes her process and some info about the species of caddisfly she raises on this page of her website [link]. Photo credits go to her–I totally stole these images.

Caddisfly larvae are exclusively aquatic. Moths and butterflies are slightly younger than caddisflies, so they have had more time to evolve their own method of development (mostly on land). I believe the Petrophila moths are one of the older moth genera (but definitely not the oldest!), so they could be like Cetaceans (you know, whales and such who had gone *back into the water* after they realized they were cooler than land mammals).

I have not yet had the honor of witnessing a little baby Petrophila scooting along the bottoms of ponds, eating algae and whatnot, so I don’t have my own photos to share, but there are a couple on their bugguide page [link] (just click the link for “caterpillars” to filter out all the adults). They more or less look like a normal caterpillar, except … a little wetter than usual. The females will go completely underwater to lay their eggs (they will carry a little air bubble with them, apparently). And typically moths don’t live too much longer after laying eggs, so who knows if they ever fly again. I’m sure the fish don’t mind finding them!

I hope I satisfied your desperate yearning for aquatic moth secrets! The closer you look, the weirder nature gets. Jeez.

Posted June 22, 2018 (finally!) All photos are mine except the caddisfly jewelry, phylogenetic tree source TBD. Everything was seen in Texas except the caddisfly larva was in a stream near Crater Lake in Oregon.

#asks #informational #wall of text #moths #mothblr #petrophila #wtf nature #aquatic caterpillars #complete metamorphosis #caddisflies #lepidoptera #trichoptera #insects #entomology #tl;dr #spiders #jumping spiders #mimicry #arachnids #taxonomy #evolution #microscopes #scanning electron microscopy #sem #electron microscope #butterfly scales #comparative anatomy #anatomy #all the tags #sciblr