#because it's so essential to. what the show is trying to say. that they have to be. they can't be straightforward

[un-lawliet]

Can I PLEASE request more soft gojo fics pleaseee. Maybe in jujitsu tech where he barges in the class we're teaching just to give us a goodbye kiss because he's going on a mission and he just can't go without a kiss! 🥺

“Teacher, Teacher”

-in which Gojo visits you before he leaves for his mission.

“And so Maki!” You say, staring down at the faces of your students, your arms opening in a hug like motion towards them.

“When using any of your cursed tools, make sure you protect your weak points, it’s essential!”

It was late in the afternoon, and you were currently going over your students last performance in training, your eyes lit up with passionate praise as you evaluated their improvements.

Maki nods, her face resting on her palm, her glasses slipping down her nose slightly.

“Now..Panda.” You turn, looking at him a grin on your face.

Panda straightens, cocking his fluffy head in acknowledgement to your engagement.

You giggle, “Well, you did great! However, maybe try to rely a little less on your size and more on the technical aspect of your attacks.”

“Tuna.” You hear Inumaki sigh, rubbing his shin in which Panda had sat on mid battle.

“If I have the weight shouldn’t I use it?” Panda questions gently, ignoring Inumaki entirely.

You nod, “Of course! Just not to the point where your entire strength hinges on it…If that makes sense..”

“Try throw a punch she means.” Maki interrupts, leaning back in her chair yawning.

“Salmon.”

“Listen, I can’t help it if my battle tactics are different from you’s two” Panda huffs.

“So what? You gonna sit on a curse?”

“Maybe I will.” Panda replies, sticking out his chest, “See if they can handle me!”

Inumaki’s shoulder slumps as he writes something on the book in front of him before holding it up.

“You’ll get destroyed.”

“The hell? No I won’t.”

Maki leans over to read Inumaki’s writing before laughing to herself, “He has a point y’know”

“Stupid point.”

“Bonito flakes.”

“Ooh someone’s mad I beat him.”

“OoOoh some Panda’s mad that he gets annihilated by a grade 4 curse.” Maki cheekily replies, her eyes glimmering with mischief.

“Hey!” You interupt, “Nobodys getting annihilated when I’m the teacher.”

Your students sigh and turn back to you, Inumaki sticking out his tounge to Panda in his movements.

And you giggle to yourself fondly.

You love being a teacher.

After training at Jujutsu Tech it seemed the only natural course for you, you had strength of course, but your real talent stemmed from your ability to create battle plans that exploited sorcerers strengths and disguised their weaknesses.

Yaga had welcomed you as a co-worker just a couple days after your graduation, his grin wide as he explained your duties before frowning at someone behind you.

“And what are you doing here Satoru.”

“What? I’m here to teach.”

“Huh?” You had said turning to look at him.

Even Shoko, who you would tease for her stoicism, raised an eyebrow.

“You’re gonna teach?” She said, “You.”

Gojo placed a hand on his heart, a dramatic showing of offence present in the way he opened his mouth and gasped, “Is it that weird?”

“Yes.” You all deadpanned.

Yaga scratched the back of his head, “Never in all my years of teaching you, have you ever shown an interest in teaching.”

“Well, it’s different now.” Gojo replied simply, grinning at his previous teacher, gloating. “Someone has to look after this one.” He nodded towards you, winking.

“Look after me??” You exclaim, turning to face him fully, your arms crossed, “I’m more than capable of-”

“Is this about Geto?” Shoko had asked plainly, resting her chin on her palm, staring Gojo out.

All of you went silent.

“No, not at all.”

Gojos’ expression had turned cold, as if the very mention of his best friend could freeze any conversation, any fleeting moment. You felt uneasy, your body closing in on itself to fight off the chill.

“Are you sure-”

“Yes.”

It was awkward.

Gojo and Shoko staring at eachother, as if commuting in a silent battle in which you and Yaga could not understand.

Quiet. Until Yaga interupted with a sigh, shaking his head.

“You’ll have to do an interview.”

“HUH?” Gojo replied, his head swinging back to Yaga, breaking his battle with Shoko instantaneously.

“Y/N didn’t need an interview?”

“Y/N is not a reckless.”

“Neither am I!!”

And you remember laughing into your palm, the pain of the past dissipating for a split second, as Gojo pouted, and followed Yaga into his office, as Shoko congratulated you on your new job.

Your new job that you had kept for the last 10 years.

…With Satoru Gojo.

Who had somehow, along the way, stole your heart.

Your phone buzzes from your desk, and you glance at it to see a message for Satoru, asking you if you wanted anything back from his mission later.

You deflate a little at the reminder.

You weren’t going to see Gojo before his mission due to your scheduled classes with the second years.

It had been a while since you had properly spent time with him, you missed seeing his silly face.

You sigh, you’ll reply later.

“So Maki, were you with Nobara yesterday?” You hear Panda start as you tune back into your students conversation.

“Huh? Yea? We were training.”

“Oh oh oh…Private training sessions…” Panda smirks, and you swear Maki’s glare could kill.

“Salmonnn~.”

“Shut up Inumaki.”

“Look Inumaki she’s totally blushing!” Panda laughs, you think it sounds more like a roar.

“That’s it! I swear to God, next training session I will fuc-”

The sliding door behind you opens, and you turn to see your boyfriend waltz into the room, bending to pass through the threshold.

“There she is!” Gojo says, opening his arms in your direction.

“Oh here we go.” Maki mutters.

Gojo was beaming, his mouth carrying the weight of his expression, teeth bared in a wide grin, eyes hidden behind his blindfold.

He raised his arms and walked towards you, ignoring your students exasperation, only focusing on you.

“Hello!” You say, as he pulls you into his chest, giving you a big; dramatic kiss on your head, swaying gently.

“Thought you were leaving?” You question, leaning towards him.

“I was, but someone didn’t reply to my text.” Gojo huffs back, pulling away to watch your face.

“How can I face this world’s dangers if I’m being ignored!?”

“You just sent it Toru.”

“Aha! So you did see it!”

“I was gonna reply later.”

Gojo shakes his head, pouting, “Not good enough.”

You watch amused as he taps his cheek twice, challenging you.

You giggle rising up on your feet to kiss his cheek, before you push him away by the chest.

“Go!” You say, your voice light, “You got your goodbyes, don’t let me hold you back.”

And he just looks at you, a soft smile on his face and you miss the cheeky look he gives you before leaning down and quickly kissing you.

It was small and gentle, and you barely register the disgusted groans of your students, your cheeks warning.

“I’ll be home by 10.” Gojo says, patting your head, “Don’t wait up for me if you’re tired yea?”

And you nod, although you both know that you’ll stay up to see him regardless.

“Be safe!” You call after him, as he walks away, a spring in his step.

“Always am baby!”

And then he’s gone, and you’re left speechless and smiling.

“God, can we leave?” Maki groans, “I feel sick.”

“You just wish that was you and Nobara Maki.” Panda teases, and you hear Inumaki laugh, slapping the desk.

Maki’s face turns bright red and she stands up from her desk, pointing a finger at Panda.

“You and me outside now, we can see if Pandas can survive being buried alive!”

“Oh it’s on!”

You lift an eyebrow and all three of them rise, not bothering to stop them.

“Please try not to kill each other.” You call after them, laughing as Inumaki salutes you before he exits.

…You love being a teacher.

masterlist <3

FEEL FREE TO LEAVE A REQUEST

A/N THANK U FOR THE REQUEST !!! i decided just to write it silly, just bc i’m not too good at the characterisation of the second year students EEK so i hope this is ok !!!!! i love gojo <3 also i wrote this instead of getting ready for work so AHHHHHH i have to panic get ready now so that’s fun

i love you all have a lovely LOVELY day thank u for reading :)

#gojo x reader #gojo satoru #jjk gojo #jjk leaks #gojo satoru x reader #gojo fluff #gojo smut #gojo comfort #jjk #jjk x reader #jjk fluff

[bloobharry]

How’s your head? H.S

She never thought she’d be into something like this.

Something which reduced her to such a filthy, whiney mess.

That too from her best friend.

Or,

Harry is Y/N’s best friend, and he just wants the best for her.

Content warning: mature content.

Word count: 3.8K

When Y/N told Harry she wanted to hang out with him Friday afternoon, she didn’t quite think it would end up like this.

The original plan was to essentially do nothing all night. After a long, tiring week at work, nothing satisfied Y/N more than lazing around on her couch and snacking on all the chocolate sitting in her pantry she had been fantasising about having while at her desk. It was always nice to have someone do these things with you, though, where both parties could lie in silence, munch on snacks and glue their eyes to the television to forget everything that happened in the past workdays.

Y/N quickly realised Harry was the perfect person for this. He didn’t have much going on for him either so there was no reason why he would turn down a night of gorging Y/N’s pantry and flopping over her hunched body on the sofa so they could watch whatever show she was recently obsessing over.

And that was how the night started.

Harry came over at about 7, with a pizza for takeaway and a large soda, and claimed the furthest right corner of the couch, snuggled up with Y/N’s cat Lola. While Lola took her time sniffing Harry’s fingers and tentatively licking his knuckles, Y/N warmed up some popcorn and ruffled Harry’s hair as she walked past him to her spot on the other end of the sofa. “Heeeeeey,” he began, a furrow in his brows, “you can’t just do that. I put a lot of work into making it look this good.” Y/N rolled her eyes, “if it looks like that after all the work I’m afraid you’re not doing enough, Harry.” He didn’t say anything, only scoffed and shoved her legs slightly from where she had swung them on his lap, “you need to pull that stick out of your ass. Let off some steam or something.”

“Right and do you want to volunteer as my punching bag?” She retorted. She wasn’t really trying to be mean, a teasing grin on her lips when he feigned offence once more, “that’s not what I meant. There are other ways to release tension, you know,” he said.

“Harry, if you want me to drop-kick you, just say i—“

“What I want is for you to go out and get a good dicking so you can stop being such a menace to me.”

“I’m not being a menace, this is just how I am. I thought you’d know that by now.” Y/N’s eyes widen, looking at him like she can’t believe he hadn’t realised her quip-y and teasing comments have been entirely satire. “Menace or not, it doesn’t change the fact that you’ve been on edge lately and could go for an orgasm not brought to you by your vibrator.”

“Harry!”

”What? I’m just saying,” he said through a smirk. Y/N’s eyes narrow at his dishevelled sight, his hair just touching his collarbones and his black sweater swallowing him whole. “My orgasms are perfectly fine, thank you. And my vibrator does a very good job at helping me ‘let off steam’.”

He sighs, almost mockingly. “When’s the last time you got laid?”

“Why would I tell you?”

”Because I’m your friend. I promise I’m just trying to help,” he says sincerely. The dim lighting of the living room made his eyes sparkle and Y/N avoided eye contact by fiddling with her fingers.

God, there was just something about the fucker that made a person want to spill every secret before his jade gaze. “I dunno. Maybe five, six months?”

“Jesus Christ Y/N, what the fuck? Weren’t you seeing Daniel like 3 weeks ago?” His voice goes up a few octaves, looking at her all bewildered. “It’s Danny,” she corrected him, “and I stopped texting him a while back. He was a bore in real life and quite frankly, a bore in bed.” Danny was one of Y/N’s coworkers' brothers who she had tried setting her up with, and Y/N did have some fun with him at first. It was always nice having someone to flirt with back and forth and get compliments from every now and then but he just never scratched that itch for Y/N. She ended up ghosting him 2 dates in and she knows that's a dick move, but really a second more of listening to him go on and on about his mum and how much his new PC game cost would make Y/N want to gauge out her own eyeballs with a dinner fork.

“Did he ever get you off?” Harry asked. Y/N was incredibly appalled, not appreciating his prying hands all over her sex life. Or lack thereof. “No and that’s none of your business anyway, jeez.”

“There you go again, snapping at me. You know if you’ll ask me nicely I’ll stop.” He sat up against the arm rest, fingers grazing her bare leg from when he pulled it back on his lap. Y/N knew she could ask him to stop asking her all these questions and he would, but was it really a conversation with her if she wasn’t being at least a little bit hard to read?

Besides, maybe it would do her some good talking about it and whatever advice he had might actually help her out. Harry seemed to be more than well-equipped when it came to charming the heck out of someone and working his way into their pants. “Sorry,” she sighed, rubbing her eye, “no, he didn’t get me off. We never actually had sex, I just gave him a blowie once and he tried to go down on me.”

Harry smiled softly knowing he got her to crack and squeezed her calf, “tried?” He knew he was treading on dangerous waters here, wedging his fingers between Y/N’s brain and asking her to recall her time with Danny.

“Yes, tried. It was fucking awful.”

She didn’t meet his eyes, busying herself with the strings on her hoodie, “and he definitely came in your mouth?” Y/N’s cheeks went pink, and she quickly pulled her legs away from him, “Harry!” Her voice was high pitched and defensive, and while her mind told her that maybe confiding all this in Harry isn’t the smartest thing, her heart wanted to see where an odd conversation like this could lead.

“I’m just asking!”

She hesitated, narrowing her eyes. “Yeah.”

“Well fuck, Y/N, sorry to say it but you were seeing an absolute douche.” Harry makes this diagnosis like Y/N didn’t already know, his fingers reaching for her legs again, tugging them onto his thighs with a strength that made her tummy flip. He ran a hand through his unruly hair. “I know. It was fun but I didn’t want anything more with him.”

“Good. But you still need a good fuck. One where you actually get to come and don’t come back home all high and dry.”

Y/N gasps, trying to get off him again but Harry holds her down, laughing at her bright red embarrassed face, “you’re such a dick I hate you.”

His dimples dug deep into the soft of his cheeks, and he pulled her legs so she was sitting much closer to him. Her ass touched the edge of his thighs and she could feel the warmth radiating off of him, making her skin even hotter. Y/N remained frowning, shoving his chest when he wouldn’t stop giggling, “stop laughing, Harry!” For obvious reasons that doesn’t work and the little genuine crink in her eyebrows had him almost cooing and smiling wide at the same time. When she didn’t let up the frown and tried to move back to her spot, Harry only grabbed her hips and pulled her back, close enough that her ass was now on top of his thighs, “okay, okay I’m sorry. You’ve got a really funny angry face.”

Y/N was near seething at this point, gearing up for an attack, “I’ll show you an angry face,” she tried lunging for his hair again but very quickly realised she failed to take into consideration her position when he instantly caught her wrists in between his long fingers, holding them tight but not enough to hurt her, “okay, John Cena let’s take a breather.”

God, was he able to make her skin absolutely crawl at times. He was still holding her wrists when he brought them down, watching her blazingly. She didn’t realise how far she had shuffled into his lap and how close his face was to hers until now. Until she could smell the strawberry mints he was sucking on on his breath.

She made a half-hearted attempt to smack his chest, but his hold only tightened around her, suddenly dragging her even closer to him over the soft fabric of his sweats. Y/N held her breath. He was too close to her, his nose daring to touch hers. She’d never been in such a vulnerable position with him and she might possibly just faint if he didn’t stop staring at her mouth and then her eyes, flicking his gaze between the two like he couldn’t decide where to settle.

She moved her head back, trying to create some space between the pair, “what are you doing Harry.” The sound she makes is an odd one— one that she doesn’t make often and it’s desperate and needy, akin to a weepy whine. His fingers finally loosened enough for her to break free and she quickly moved her face away from his where it seems like it was magnetically pulling her closer and closer.

Harry didn’t say anything for a while and Y/N found herself frozen in her spot, still right on his lap. “What’s going on here, hmm?” He said, glancing down.

Y/N followed his gaze, confused at first and it took her a moment to realise what he was insinuating. His fingers grazed her hips. “What’s got you all squirmy on my lap?”

He was still staring right into her eyes, making her go crazy with the stolen glances at her lips with every passing second. Meanwhile Y/N’s chest heaved and she unintentionally shuffles again, “fuck, Y/N.” Harry’s voice was deep and groan-y, vibrating through her body when his eyebrows furrowed slightly. “I’m not squirmy, Harry shut up.” She was lying right to his face and her poor attempt at covering her actions made him laugh again. The sound was teasing, nothing like the light-hearted giggles spilling from his lips when he found her angry face amusing.

“You’re a terrible liar, Y/N.” His fingers fell to her upper thighs, which he gripped harshly. Only then when she couldn’t move did Y/N realise she really was practically rubbing herself against him, milking even the slightest pressure against her heat from his warm, pliant lap. Her face pinkened again, embarrassment coursing through her veins and making her want to dig a hole and hide in it forever. She couldn’t believe what she had just been caught doing.

Y/N expected him to fully push her off his lap, disgusted by her basically humping his leg, but he didn’t.

Instead, he dug his fingers into her skin and slowly helped her move back and forth, pushing her down just slightly to give her the friction she was searching for. Y/N’s mouth dropped open in another little whine.

“Will you let me, then?” His eyes searched hers, gaze sincere, though Y/N didn’t know what he was implying, only half listening to him. She was clearly preoccupied with the delicious pressure pressing right up against her clothed clit.

“What?”

Harry laughed, a large, ringed hand slipping over her ass to squeeze lightly. “I said, will you let me make you feel good? Help you relax? Have you gone dumb already, baby?” Y/N couldn’t really do much other than nod frantically, afraid he might pull away if she didn’t say yes. The pet name melts her even further, paired with the way he was holding her like he was going to swallow her whole made her insides slosh.

She preens under his gaze, now holding the front of his sweater tightly between her fingers. “Yes,” Y/N breathed, “yes please.”

Harry wondered for a second if she was agreeing to being cockdumb or agreeing to him touching her but nonetheless he took it as his queue to push her off his lap and position her the way he wanted.

“I—what, I thought you we—“ Y/N protests, neediness evident in her voice and her hands which chased after his warmth, like she was afraid he was going to leave her be in this desperate state. Harry only pressed on her shoulder until she laid back on her back, hands coming to part her legs so he could fit between them, “shh.” A wet kiss was pressed to her cheek, like comforting a rabid animal, which Y/N was feeling exactly like as she stared at Harry’s frame cowering hers.

His curls hung past his ears and tickled her face when he slotted his hips between her legs so she could continue grinding down on him, “who knew you were such a needy little thing?” Y/N sighed in response. Another suckling kiss was pressed to her jaw, “do you need me to make you feel good, baby? Hmm? Need me to make it better?”

The way he was talking to her made her feral.

She had trouble believing this was the same Harry who irritated her to no end and pushed all her buttons to rile her up. Except this time he was pushing other kinds of buttons, moving his body around hers so perfectly Y/N wondered if this was like second nature to him.

“Yes. Please don’t tease me.” She commanded him and Harry chuckled at her desperation, lips sponging these warm, slow, gooey kisses down her neck and across her collarbone. When she went to sift her fingers through his curly hair, he pulled back to look at her. “You’re so bossy,” he accuses, pulling her thighs further up his hips, “it’s okay though. I’ll fuck the attitude right of you.” He grinded down against her, one strong roll of his bulge against her heat. “Are we going to have sex, Harry?”

“No.” He grinned.

“Why?” Y/N’s eyes crinkled in pain like he just told her her cat died and her lip jutted out in a pout which Harry quickly tucked away with his thumb. “Because,” he started, using that same hand to wrap around her throat, “we need to talk about that before we do anything. Don’t want to lose my best friend, do I?”

His rejection almost made Y/N cry and she would have had Harry not tightened his hand around her jugular. The cold press of his rings sent shivers down Y/N’s spine. “Why would you say anything then?” She asked, craning her neck to allow him more room to cover with his palm.

“I said I won’t have sex with you. Didn’t say I wouldn’t make you feel good.”

With that, he took the hand that made a home around her throat and patted her cheek, hard enough that the feeling went straight down to her tummy but soft enough that it didn’t hurt her like someone might think it would. He crawled further down her body, shoving her hoodie up with his hands and exposing her stomach to the cold air of the room. Y/N thinks he was trying to keep up some boundaries, bunching the shirt just below her tits like protecting some kind of modesty and pressing ticklish kisses across her skin and down her belly button. Her body tingled with anticipation, breath bated and eyes glazed as she watched him.

She felt him nuzzle into her tummy and inhale loudly, “you smell so fucking good.” Y/N giggled, taking pride in her extensive shower routine and incessant rubbing of various lotions into her skin, “thank you.”

When his mouth reached the waistband of her tiny shorts he murmured a small, “can I take these off?” To which Y/N hummed in agreement. She couldn’t agree with anything more. If Harry walked up and out of this room right now, Y/N was certain she would die.

Once they’re off, Y/N realised she was completely at his mercy. Her underwear is the only thing protecting her modesty, and with how wet she’s feeling, she doubts there’s anything left to the imagination down there, “would you look at that. You’ve soaked right through.” His fingers toyed with the edge of her wet gusset.

Another embarrassingly desperate sound left her throat and she pushed her hips in the air in search of some friction. Harry delivered a harsh slap to her thigh, “don’t move.”

His stern voice did unimaginable things for her but she complied and tried to stay as still as she could, which seemed like a task for the impossible with the teasing touches Harry delivered to her skin.

She never thought she’d be into something like this.

Something which reduces her to such a filthy, whiney mess.

That too from her best friend.

Harry doesn’t do anything for a while, just admiring how her pussy looked soaked through her panties, playing around with the lace lining of the fabric. He grabbed the gusset and pulled it tight against her so her folds swallow the cotton, “fuck. A little manhandling and this is what happens?” He more so makes a statement rather than asking her, punctuating his words by leaning down to lick a wide, sloppy strip across the cloth. It makes Y/N squeal and attempt to shut her thighs but Harry makes sure to hold her down, biceps bulging.

He pulled back to drop his fingers firmly against her clit, just keeping them there pressed tightly, feeling her heartbeat against the tips. “I thought I told you not to move.”

“Yes, I’m sorry please, please don’t stop.”

He went back to nosing at her covered clit, not making any attempt to wrap his lips around it. At this point Y/N was itching in anticipation, every ounce of her working not to rut her hips in his face and ride his tongue like she wanted to. When he finally touches her again, it's where the wetness pooled, soft suckling kisses over the fabric which made Y/N’s heart and pussy flutter.

She was incredibly frustrated, wanting nothing more than to rip her underwear off and shove his face into her but she held back, not sure if Harry would appreciate that after he made it clear time and time again how he preferred her to remain immobile while he played with her. Instead she waited until he was through with kissing every inch of her and when he finally peeled off her panties, she could practically come just from the prospect of having his mouth on her.

He doesn’t give her a second to think though, because his mouth is unrelenting. Teasing the tip of her button with his tongue before circling his lips around it and suckling in sweet, soft pulses. The sensation has her panting and gasping, squeezing his head between her thighs while one of his arms swung across her hips to keep her down and the other wiggled between the two to push her lips apart in a V shape. With her clit now exposed to the cool air, Harry zeroed in on the nerve and worked magic with his tongue, flicking it up, down, left, right and circling the button with such fevor Y/N could burst.

What electrified the experience was the sounds in the room, which were just sinful.

Her pussy squelched with each suckle Harry gave, making Y/N moan and pull Harry’s curls which in turn had him groaning lowly against her. It was an endless cycle of pornographic music.

When he pulls away from her clit, the pulsing it does is almost amusing, like it was personally begging for Harry’s attention. Instead he kissed down the length of her slit and took his time playing around with her folds, slicking her hole and letting his spit drip down to her ass.

It was so perfect and messy.

Before she knew it, Y/N’s thighs were shaking and Harry’s tongue was back to abuse her poor button. A couple more flicks and a harsh kiss pushed Y/N over the edge, her orgasm washing over her and nearly blinding her. It’s euphoric and the most intense she’s ever felt, no vibrator of hers or cock she’s ever had compared to what she was feeling and even then Harry didn’t let up on her pussy. He continued his assault, now both of his arms locking around her hips to tone down her thrashing. Only when she pushed his forehead away did he finally depart with a final lick across her slit and smiled at her fucked-out state.

He wiped the corner of his mouth with his thumb and brought it to his lips, sitting up between her legs which she clinked shut. A second passes.

“Are you okay?” Y/N’s eyes were shut, an arm thrown across her forehead. “I think so.”

Harry giggled, leaning over her to remove her arm, “how’s it feel?”

“S’good. It was really nice. Thanks.” She was slightly dazed, too far gone to really understand what was going on. Her limbs felt like jell-o and she let Harry kiss her cheek again before lending her a hand to help her sit up. “I’m glad. Come on now. We need to clean you up.”

She doesn't know how she stood up from that godforsaken couch and how she made it to the bathroom, Lola returning from her retreat to her bedroom to wind around her ankles. Harry bent down to pet between her ears, “hello babydoll. Did you miss me?” He cooed.

She looked down at the pair and Harry easily sensed her wary gaze. A dashing smile was sent her way. “Do you need me to get you some underwear? Or are you afraid I’ll stumble across your array of sex toys?”

Y/N rolled her eyes. He was still the Harry she knew before he gave her the best head she ever received.

“You’re such a dick.”

“A dick that gave you the best orgasm of your life.” She couldn’t even argue with him on that. Instead, she flipped him off and disappeared into her room. Once she was all changed and wearing a fresh pair of undies and shorts, she walked out to see Harry passed out on the couch with Lola snuggled into his throat. It was then when her head finally returned to the ground and she realised the gravity of the situation.

The looming prospect of a long, painful chat in the morning hung over Y/N like a dark cloud, filling her with a gnawing sense of dread she suddenly couldn’t seem to shake.

Divider by @firefly-graphics

Hiiiii i hope you like this one, first time posting in a long time so feeling a little nervous omg … leave feedback if you have any!!! Mwuahh

#harry styles #one direction #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles blurb #harry styles imagine #harry styles smut #harry styles fluff #harry styles angst #one direction fanfiction #writing #harry styles one shot #harry styles writing #harry styles Drabble #Harry styles au #bloobharry

[charles-leclerc-official]

Monaco Qualifying: Mini Analysis

Just wanted to point out a few things about the field tomorrow with our top 10.

First is that Charles is in a league of his own, pole by more than 2 tenths, fastest qualifying lap of the session. Well deserved pole and he did it with a comfortable gap to P2.

The only other driver to break out of the 1:10.5 range was Oscar, who is a little over 2 tenths off Charles, and almost a tenth ahead of Carlos.

The next 4 drivers are all extremely close, as in they are off by hundredths not tenths. This really could have gone anyone's way. Slight variances and imperfections made the difference. No one is clearly ahead. So it really came down to a little bit of luck and also the skill in the little areas where it mattered.

Of this group of four drivers Carlos was ahead by the most, he was closest to cracking into the 1:10.4 territory, so the Ferrari's really were on top of it for this track.

After that between George and Lando it's a difference of literally 1/100th of a second, that is just down to luck, because it's essentially the same lap time. Like that margin is basically invisible. And Max is only off them by 20/100ths, which again is so small. Those three were basically matched and it was just down to the very little things with the car, the lap, and the conditions.

Lewis also wasn't too far off this group. Less than a tenth separating himself from Carlos, and about half a tenth off his teammate.

After Lewis the rest have a bigger gap to the rest of the pack.

I want to note that while this was an insane showing from Pierre, his best lap was actually his Q2 lap of 1:10.896.

This is certainly the most unusual starting order we've seen so far, for the whole grid and the top 10. Monaco will do that do you.

Quick look at comparing Charles' and Oscar's laps

What I am interested in is the fact that there isn't a clear point where Mclaren has the edge, I knew they'd be more evenly matched against Ferrari here but this is further off than I'd thought. These straights aren't even Mclaren's best sectors, where they were so strong at Imola it seems that significant lead didn't translate as well to the street track format. So good for Ferrari which overall was the strongest car on this track.

Also Charles really did bring it, no one really touched him when it came to that lap. He really did dominate.

Finally remember that Monaco is an extreme outlier of a track. So for drivers/cars that are not strong here it isn't a good metric to try to determine how things will go on other tracks. Yes Red Bull seem to be struggling, but on this track that's not as concerning for them performance wise as it would be at a more typical track. Similarly Alpine are doing well, which may or may not hold true in the future, same with Alex and Williams. An outlier track sometimes makes outlier results. One of the reasons Monaco is so cool.

Now we do know that Ferrari and Mclaren are strong, and these aren't outlier results for them, they've been fast and competitive, and they were here as well. So what this means for those teams is that their cars are very versatile and less track dependent than say some other top teams(Red Bull)

There is a lot more, but those were the things I noticed that were interesting to me from this session. But really all you need to know is that Charles put together a STUNNING lap.

#lucis race analysis #qualifying analysis

[amazingdeadfish]

hey! do u have any 'terrible' shadowpuppet AU/concept with things like kidnapping or abuse or other bad violence things? cause I have much of them

CW: Discussions about toxic relationships.

The thing is... Shadowpuppet shipping already has those things in itself..? Kind of.

I mean Mayor literally kidnaps Macaque in the last minute or so of Shadowplay-

-And then Macaque proceeds to kidnap Mayor in the season 3 finale and hands him over to the Monkie Kids.

Abuse on the other hand is a finicky subject because this is still a kids show, but Macaque was definitely not having a good time working under LBD. The uneven power scale between the two and the lack of equality in the 'working relationship' is just another form of a toxic relationship. She literally floats above him in every scene the two are in together. Power dynamic goes crazy.

LBD did not treat Macaque like a person, and I suppose this would extend to Mayor. Mayor on one hand probably would not have been treated like a person (an equal) by LBD either, but in turn (as one can now argue that), the Mayor probably wouldn't have treated Macaque like a person too? Copying their Lady's treatment of him? Which, can obviously be seen when the Mayor carelessly shoves Macaque through the portal in season 3 in canon. Not an ounce of respect. You could even go as far as to say that Mayor probably thinks that equality in a relationship isn't normal. That someone has to always have more control and power over the other one.

This essentially, where Macaque lacks control over his own life because of this power struggle, is a form of abuse. And instead of Mayor sympathising with Macaque, he would just be (depending on how you interpreted LBD's relationship with Mayor) a victim who also plays a role as an abuser.

I guess what I'm trying to say is: No, I do not have any toxic AUs regarding shadowpuppet, because Shadowpuppet is already plenty toxic material in itself. I mean, there is already too much to play around with their dynamic that I find no need to exaggerate or add anymore problematic content to it in an AU. I think that's why I like it so much. So much of an interesting dynamic that can be poked around with but also, so much room for interpretation (which is something Shadowpeach is getting less of as LMK canonically develops Wukong and Macaque's relationship further).

But this doesn't mean I'm trying to tell you that you can't have your own toxic spin on Shadowpuppet! I mean, your interpretation of them is bound to be different than mine and everyone thinks of a ship differently. Because yeah, there MUST have been more problematic situations between these two behind the screen and not in the canonical story itself. And who knows how toxic these two might be to each other when put out of the LMK universe entirely?

#ask #shadowpuppet #co-worker relationships always have me by a chokehold #lego monkie kid #monkie kid #lmk #lmk mayor #monkie kid mayor

[americankimchi]

wish i knew what to do with this helpless frustration i feel every time i see people vilify the jedi for their way of life when the person doing the vilification doesn't even understand them properly. it's one thing to criticize and dislike them if you have an accurate picture of who they were and what they're trying to do vs. hating them because you straight up don't understand them at all 😭

#personal #this isn't vagueposting i'm just tired of seeing it every time i go in the tags or on youtube or on ao3 #literally if you boil the jedi down to the essentials it's just #''these are psychic empath space wizards wandering around the galaxy trying to establish a higher quality of life for everyone'' #a bunch of aragorns except anduril is a beaming blade of plasma #or gandalf with the ability to do backflips #the only hard rule they have is ''thou shalt not add misery to the world where you can remove it'' #everything else is just interpretations on that theme #''they're cold and unfeeling and they HATED ANAKIN and BAN LOVE'' #like WHERE in the WORLD are you getting this information #WHEREEEEE #SHOW ME YOUR SOURCESSSS #and don't say ''they ban attachments'' without understanding what that MEANS #ATTACHMENTS =/= LOVE #ATTACHMENTS ARE CHAINS THAT YOU USE TO DRAG OTHERS DOWN WITH YOU #YOU KNOW THE SAYING IF YOU LOVE SOMETHING YOU WILL LET IT GO? THAT'S IT. THAT'S ALL IT IS. #and where are u getting that they hated anakin do you think he'd be so torn up about betraying them all in ep 3 #if he was surrounded by people who hated him for over a decade like mans was IN TEARS #HE LOVED AND WAS LOVED BY THEM IN TURN #IT JUST WASN'T ENOUGH TO SAVE THEM IN THE END BECAUSE #CRUCIALLY #HIS ATTACHMENT TO PADME DRAGGED HER AND THEM AND EVERYONE ELSE DOWN WITH HIM #stop stripping anakin of his agency he made a CHOICE #star wars is ALL ABOUT CHOICE. THE CHOICE TO FALL IN EP 3. AND THE CHOICE TO RISE AGAIN IN EP 6. #like cmon fellas..... fellas cmon........

[commsroom]

i think one of the boldest and best moves wolf 359 makes in its character development is that, in terms of the major defining events that led him to where he is, eiffel doesn't have a tragic backstory so much as he is responsible for the tragic backstory of someone else.

(the archetype of the everyman protagonist who copes with past trauma via humor does in many ways describe eiffel, but like with every character in wolf, it's the complexity of their circumstances that make them feel like real people with believable inner worlds. they don't subvert the archetypes they represent, exactly; they're just people, complex and contradictory, who ultimately can't be constrained by the expectations or defined lines of the narratives imposed on them.)

eiffel believes this is an intrinsic part of who he is, that he was "just those mistakes"; he externalizes his desire for redemption and that manifests as lenience towards people who lack his fundamental desire for growth. and in failing to recognize his own ability for growth, he presents himself as a doomed character archetype more than a person; he sidelines himself as an observer within his own story. his guilt and self-hatred allow him to in some way abdicate responsibility, to see his failings as inevitable, and it's only accepting his own complexity and capacity to be more, the human quality he recognizes so fervently in others, that frees him from those self-imposed conceptions.

(once my friend kit said that eiffel “defines the tone and the moral compass of wolf 359 so strongly that if you put him into any other series he would turn it into wolf 359 too” and i think about that a lot.)

doug eiffel is wolf 359, in all it believes, and despite his perception of himself as the weakest link, he is so interwoven with both the crew of the hephaestus and the themes of the show that he is inseparable from either. he doesn't always embody the show's values or its morals - in fact, he frequently fails to live up to them as much as he'd like - but he is the one who advocates for them. "it's not just about surviving; it's about being able to live with ourselves after we get off this tin can."

it's a show about communication; he is an intermediary, a vessel for communication - sometimes literally, and he's also just a guy who is still trying to learn how to communicate better himself. what eiffel represents is a flawed, contradictory, unpredictable, irrepressible humanity, singular, and so desperately in need of connection. the show's love of humanity is truer for that. he has genuinely done wrong, in ways he may not ever be forgiven for. he has very real flaws, some of which persist through the entire show, even as he's consciously trying to do better. and he is very much human, and very much loved.

#wolf 359 #w359 #doug eiffel #and i want to kiss him. with tongue. #i don't even know how to express this fully it's. these simultaneous facts #that he is so interwoven with the themes and narrative of wolf 359. enough to be inseparable from it. #while also being constrained by his own narrative preconceptions of who he is. and how he views the world through pop culture #stories and archetypes and escapism #while also being The Most Human of them all. in some ways that are so wonderful and some that are so infuriating #and that ALL of that is why wolf 359 characters broadly feel so much more Like People to me than characters from basically anything else do #because it's so essential to. what the show is trying to say. that they have to be. they can't be straightforward #they can't be suggestions or concepts or archetypes. they have to be people #they have to have pieces that don't fit neatly together #or even ones that outright seem to contradict each other #that there are too many factors to even one individual person for any Big Picture #in the corporate or cosmic sense. to ever account for. #and that's what wolf 359 is about!! and that's who eiffel is!! #and that's what he brings out in others!! #makes me crazy.

[wutheringmights]

I think on some subconscious level, I don’t ever want to finish writing this chapter

#this chapter kinda feels symbolic? like it’s the beginning of the last part and I have to introduce the final stage conflicts in both #plot lines and now things can’t just be intriguing any more they have to be satisfying #and I want it to be satisfying but I am so worried that the cracks in the story are only going to really start showing #and I can’t even say that at least ctb will retain its loyal readers when I am essentially resetting the story #like oh did you enjoy the tension of when time was going to reveal the truth? we’re done with that now #did you enjoy the three brothers plotline? that’s basically over #like this was the plan from the beginning and everyone already has a sense that the status quo is changed #but still!!!! what if I can’t write it good enough!!! #what if it’s shit because I’m the one trying to write it!!! #me rambling

[no1ryomafan]

Forgot to mention awhile ago I started Big O-ITS GOOD-and this is something that hasn’t been touched on yet but is that the robot is sentient, which got me thinking about why this aspect is appealing to me in mecha context pasts “already preferring robots with sentience to begin with”.

There is something both intriguing and horrifying about the idea this giant man made machine your piloting that cannot speak at all is still technically aware. It doesn’t have a free will per-say as it needs you, its pilot, to operate it, to make it move and fight, but it still has its own thoughts and feelings. And whether or not this sentience means anything to humanity-if it freaks out other people, if it means anything for the general scale of evolution and the future as technology continues to grow-you still have the duty to pilot this robot because there’s no other way to eliminate the enemies, and only you can do it. Even if you didn’t choose to, the robot needs you as much as you need it.

#meg text #mecha rambles #this is also probably a byproduct of my getter brain rot lol #I don’t expect every mecha to be like getter-that’s dumb-but any similar narrative with robot sentience makes me 👀 #of course there’s the level of vagueness to it all but that’s what I like about it because it’s perfect analysis material #also characterization of robots being sentient but not speaking>>> #honestly this might be why I couldn’t get into tf or brave didn’t tickle my brain even though I should try again #I love my talking robots obviously but with mecha this approach makes the most sense #having them talk or “only be metaphorically representing something” doesn’t appeal to me unlike this in between #only expectation is like- the pilot is literally the robot but I can only think of Jeeg for this lol #and even then it’s just for OG but Kenji is essentially a toku protag so I like the metaphorical part there #he’s not literally Jeeg nor is his robot sentient but mentally they are intertwined #oh and can I just say so far with big o I like how it manages to balance big robot with human looking robot #the fact Dorothy is ACTUALLY connected to them is so fucking cool but I’ll save that for another time #(also I really gotta watch giant robo after I finish this show even though I got a pile of other things huh)

[my-thoughts-and-junk]

thinking about dream daddy again and god brian makes me so mad

#random thoughts #dream daddy #HIS ROUTE ISN'T EVEN ABOUT HIM #okay so the thing about the fleshed-out routes is you can tell a lot about a character depending on how many people are around #like with craig his first two dates involve at least one of his kids and a lot of social interaction because he's so overworked #so his final date where you just spend time with HIM one-on-one hits a lot harder #while with joseph he surrounds you with people but takes little periods of time to be alone with you to make a move #before instantly surrounding you with people again so you don't have enough time to question if he just made a pass at you #which is why his final date with you on the boat hits so hard: he purposefully isolated you in a place you could not easily leave #so he could make his move #and with brian... all his dates involve daisy in some way #which would imply he's trying to maintain some sort of distance? but he's not. he actively wants to befriend you #daisy and amanda keep tagging along... and for what? #they're eventually sidelined anyway! each date involves a moment where daisy and amanda are gone and you get a moment alone with brian #brian is the dad whose kid is the most present in his route and it says. literally nothing about him #make it so your character keeps inviting brian out and brian keeps making it a 'bring your kid and make it a playdate' thing or SOMETHING #maybe he's been raising daisy by himself for so long he's a bit rusty on how to interact with someone he's interested in? #on the second date daisy and amanda could have stayed home. it would change nothing #have daisy be sick and amanda be otherwise involved (maybe imply they're both faking to get out of fishing/get brian and mc to smooch) #like i don't think i'd mind daisy being around so much if she wasn't such a nothing burger of a character #give her some flaws! have amanda think she's weird or creepy! show us why she has no friends! #why is brian's route centered around our mc's daddy issues. we don't know his dad. we don't give a shit about his dad. #brian's route's main conflict ISN'T EVEN ABOUT HIM??? WHAT THE FUCK #you're essentially forcing us to make a character choice based on a backstory you also forced on us. you fallout 4'd us. #like okay. there's a lot of 'here's a part of your backstory you didn't know about' in dream daddy but this specifically doesn't work #like the ska band? it's a jokey plot device that's kind of weak but also a bit whatever #alex? is an explanation for why you're a single parent. very sad. not very fleshed out. #mc's dad? IS THE FOCUS OF AN ENTIRE ROUTE?????? WHAT THE FUCJ #literally no reason to do that. it makes brian a flatter character whose whole purpose is to react to your daddy issues #GIVE HIM FLAWS. MAKE HIM THE ONE WHO TAKES THE COMPETITION TOO SERIOUSLY

[lesbiansanemi]

We’ve officially hit the point where I can’t fucking sleep because of this shit and on top of everything the AC went out I literally want to cry I’m so stressed I physically feel like shit like I need to throw up I’m so tired but between my stomach hurting, the stress, and the heat I can’t

#today he told me it ‘wasn’t fair’ that I expected him and his bf to move #just because I refused to get rid of my ‘disgusting cats’ and they would be ‘happier’ in a shelter #his reasonings for why they would be happier in a shelter were all things that they did not do/did not happen until he started this shit #‘they’re always hiding and you never spend time with them’ #they hide from YOU #early morning and late at night when you’re in your room they’re fine #im out here rn just sitting with them giving them attention #also yeah I used to give them attention for AT LEAST several hours of the day #but after I essentially got chased out of all the common areas no obviously that wasn’t happening #man FUCK YOU #also sorry I don’t want to spend literal THOUSANDS more than I would other wise to fucking move #esp when YOU moving means no changes in your finances #you make over 50k a year I make barely 20k AND already have more bills to pay than you #why the FUCK should I be getting stuck with the far worse financial decision #and then to try and frame it like you’re getting treated ‘unfairly’ just because I won’t get rid of my cats for you?????? #I genuinely hope the stupid fucking car your mom gave you explodes tomorrow idc idc idccccc #ESPECIALLY WHEN HE BOTH THREATENED AND SAID HE DIDNT CARE TO MOVE OUT #and when I said ‘great. do that’ he starts throwing this fucking fit #I hate him so much it is so goddamn UNREAL #I am dealing with a giant man baby who has never been told no in his life before now #and it’s really fucking showing #this is what happens when parents give their kids everything they want #and you have normie cis white man privilege and have also gotten every job/into every program you’ve ever wanted with minimal effort #so when someone finally says ‘no you don’t get whatever you want at my expense’ #he has the most immature meltdowns fucking imaginable #kaz rambles

[capricornsicle]

something something the villain of the season (the one about how fear can give way to extremism if you're not careful and how easy it is for many, many people to become radicalized by one person's radical hate and how genocide is a bad thing actually regardless of whether individuals of the targeted group have themselves done terrible things) being a black woman who survived an incident of indiscriminate mass murder is perhaps. not the best idea considering the themes involved

#teen wolf #tamora monroe #hollywood racism #if I could change one thing about this season it would be to cast anyone else in the role of monroe OR to not make her like that #if you want a woc who gets involved in a radical hate group yeah that can happen but not like that #it's a very tone deaf season overall which reminds me of the line from douglas in 6a where he says scott would be a good nazi youth #when a minority joins a hate group it is to double down on hating who they are because they're afraid of what it means to accept it #i.e. mixed kids being super racist because they are led to believe their non-white heritage is bad and they should try to be whiter #monroe doesn't have that. she has no connection to the supernatural. she is just afraid of the other which she refuses to understand #which would be actually interesting if monroe was a white woman who thinks she's immune to radical hate and extremism #but as a black woman who's a victim of circumstance in a random act of mass murder just for the sake of killing people #that doesn't radicalize you against where that person is from. that radicalizes you against murder. #the setup of her story is that she is essentially the survivor of a hate crime or random killing spree. which is so very relevant #that's not how it explicitly happens on the show but that is the metaphor they walked into with that one #you can't have themes where it's convenient and ignore the other implications and connotations of the rest of your work #and the implication is that they used a black woman as a primary villain (and unredeemable which is interesting bc peter exists) #as the face of the radical hate/genocide group which targets a group of mostly children simply because someone like them was bad #they're using a woc in the role of the aggressor who hates all poc because of one person from one group who did something bad #diversity win the woman of color is racist. the word of the day is 'tone deaf' #tw writers/casting department be like I don't see race and then is racist in a new and unique way

[fingertipsmp3]

Might just pass the fuck out actually

#it has not been a good day. the first thing i had to do today went badly and i’m not looking forward to doing the second thing #and it’s hot and my house feels like a soup and my knee is acting up so i’m essentially walking like i don’t even know what #i was going to say frankenstein’s monster but i don’t even know if he has a limp #i wish the lecture i have tonight wasn’t the FIRST one in the course. if i’d already done a couple i feel like it’d be more acceptable #for me to email the lecturer or the guidance person or somebody and be like ‘hey chief i had an absolute disaster this morning. #is it okay if i take a personal day to cry into chinese food and try to drown myself in the bath? i’ll watch the lecture tomorrow & recap’ #but i haven’t established a reputation for showing up & being competent yet #ugh and i looked on the website and the cohort is exactly 8 people which… idk what i was expecting but why must it be small #if i get asked to introduce myself i’m just going to cry on camera #god i bet i do get asked. that’s going to be fucking horrible #‘i’m ellen; i don’t work anywhere because i left my first shift at my new job in tears today bc i almost fainted because my knee decided to #give out; i know enough html and css to know that this course is going to kick my ass. i’m also learning python #because my friend roped me into it. also sorry that i’m eating right now but i decided there was no way i was getting through this class #without ordering fried rice. i don’t know why i’m here. nice to meet you i guess’ #i’m so hungry but i don’t want to eat anything because i want to order food. but also. do i have the mental fortitude to talk to someone #on the phone. but i don’t have the mental fortitude to cook either…… it’s a big problem #ultimately cooking would be physically harder but i would also get my food sooner. calling them would be mentally harder and i would get my #food later. ohhhhh god and i just remembered this other takeaway place that opens at 4:30 (💖) but they’re CLOSED ON MONDAYS #i guess there’s also the chinese place in the village. AND their prawn toast is better. and they open earlier and deliver super fast. 🧐 #i might just order beef fried rice from them and whatever happens to me happens to me. (i have a beef intolerance lol #but they cook their chicken in a way that makes it really chewy. it won’t make me sick or anything; never has before; but it’s not the vibe. #it’s chinese food cooked by english people. that’s the problem. the prawn toast is good though) #anyway! for personal reasons i will be passing out #personal

[crystalkleure]

>“What are your favourite animals” >*Lists off almost exclusively creatures that most people are afraid of or think are gross [or both], for the given “I am offended on their behalf, they are simply vibing” reason* “...And also dogs!”

One Of Those Things Is Not Like The Others, except it actually is because I was raised by my mother and my mother fucking hates [read: is afraid of] dogs, especially the big ones. When I was a kid I asked for a pet dog once and she got me two cats instead.

#.It speaks #About me #I am about to bitch in the tags #Animal abuse // #Child abuse // #She HATES hates dogs. I have to listen to her seethe about how much she hates dogs every time the subject of ''dogs'' gets brought up. #She says they're 1. dangerous and 2. ''too clingy and emotionally needy'' #She doesn't like affectionate animals [or people] because they're ''manipulative'' [her words] and thus revolting #She likes cats because ''It's so cute. They think they're so independent and don't need me but they would DIE without me.'' #Her smug words once again. She does NOT believe me when I try to tell her cats are social animals too. #They literally are affectionate they just don't show it the same way dogs do. Different body language. #Essentially she likes cats because they make her feel Superior™. Bit fucked up! #Psychology fun fact btw. People who like things other people find repulsive [ahem] aren't necessarily just being contrarians. #Sometimes it's a sympathy/relatability thing because the person themself has been made to feel repulsive/hated #Guess what happens when a small child's primary caregiver -- the only person who is raising them -- thinks love and crying are manipulative #I have DID :) #Another reason my mother hates dogs is because they can maul her much worse than a cat can if she kicks them #I think one bit her once. We USED to have two dogs when I was very small. #She was always really mad at them for ''Taking up all of everyone's attention'' and liked to drag them around by their collars #And she wondered why Lorraina had anxiety issues and chewed the furniture. #Lorraina and Frosty were both just kind of uh. Gone one day. #Mom also declaws her cats. I don't understand why vets are even still willing to do that. It's extremely inhumane.

[stilltoolazy]

.

#is it really so much to ask that someone - just /someone/ - shows just a little bit care that I’m absolutely miserable? #like I’m not asking much I don’t think #just for someone to acknowledge that I’m miserable and #I don’t even know #I’m not even necessarily asking for someone to comfort me although that sure would be nice #I just want some sort of... ‘I see that you’re hurting and I’m sorry you feel that way’ #even in what is essentially a discord vent channel #no one has answered my post or even just. reacted with one of the hug emojis or whatever. #and there have been several other posts today in that channel that have gotten reactions #and I’m not trying to say they shouldn’t get comfort just because I’m not getting any #or that my problems are worse than theirs or anything #I just. #it makes me feel invisible #like no one would notice if I disappeared #or like maybe I’m not even really here in the first place #and that’s just... not making me feel any better that’s for sure #idk venting in the tags on a blog no one really interacts with anyway probably isn’t going to help with any of that #but I just.... I don’t know what to do

[snekdood]

gonna be very annoyed if ppl insist on tryna turn all 5 of my dude characters into women when the majority of other characters in my comic already identify as women

#seriously you have so much to choose from... leave my self insert alone thats for sure ill eat you #im laying it out rn in a table. MOST of the dude ocs i have are villains. #MOST of the dude characters are minor characters #YOU WILL HAVE SO MANY OPTIONS WHAT MORE MUST YOU TAKe #as far as the most story relevant ocs SO FAR that i have- 10 of them are dudes and 14 of them are grrls #and also not including the nb characters but im keeping them outta this #and even amongst those 10 plenty of those ocs aren't really relevant either @-@;; #wamen play a stupidly huge role in my comic so i dont wanna hear it from no one i want no excuses #go imprint on one of the many grrl ocs that i have n leave me alone >:| #or make ur own fuckin character instead n fuck off somewhere else #...ig its kinda unfair tho bc ive specifically been holding back on posting a lot of my characters specifically for the purpose of #surprising ppl w someone new but. yknow. still. #all im saying is i have so many different options for u to pick from that i dont wanna see anyone trying to make excuses to change #my self inserts gender bc it will specifically be invalidating obviously. #yer gonna hafta just trust me on this one dawg. #i always find women more fun to draw anyways. sure i gotta get my self insert in there and some other dudes bc i like them #or for plot reasons. but women are more fun to draw to me partially *because* theres such an under representation of them #i feel like theres a lot of untapped potential and i wanna tap into it. i wanna show you all the different wamen characters ive made #they're all so unique and cool and i wISH I COULD POST THEm but i dont want to spoil surprises :/ #the most i can do rn is post what are essentially background characters u-u

[foldingfittedsheets]

I worked retail for a long time and people really do treat you like shit sometimes. But between selling sex toys, mattresses, and jewelry I can say definitively I got treated worst selling mattresses.

All three of my jobs were in sales but selling sex toys we were allowed to put people in their place, and in jewelry people didn’t want to misbehave in a fancy setting. But people at the mattress store had no problem yelling at me, hitting on me, or insulting me to my face.

For a while I was managing my own store for the company. I ran a small location and had struggling employees placed with me for rehabilitation. If their numbers improved they could go back to bigger stores. If not, they got fired.

So this meant I was the manager of problem employees. At one point both of my people had a foot out the door. The company was going downhill and changed computer systems and they were fed up. Consequently, they made a ton of mistakes, because they just didn’t care about the job or learning the new systems.

I strolled into work on what was essentially my Monday to a shit show. Deliveries scheduled without product, wrong things on orders, poor expectations of the process, you name it. I spent the entire morning getting yelled at for mistakes that weren’t mine.

The final straw came when a man called furious that his moms bed for her nursing home had a delivery window he couldn’t accommodate. This wasn’t a huge disaster since we still had time to deliver it before she moved. I ran him through the options and he just kept screaming at me. Not for a solution but because I was there and he was frustrated.

My heart filled with malice and a cold fury. A calculating part of my brain had a realization in that moment that I could stay a punching bag or I could strike back.

I quavered my voice delicately, taking in a shaky, warbling breath like I was trying not to cry. “Sir,” I quivered through fake tears, “I don’t know what you want from me! I told you what I can do, I didn’t make this mistake I’m just trying to fix it!” My voice broke pitifully on the last syllables, sounding in all ways like a sweet innocent person being yelled at who’s just trying her best, really!

It was like I’d doused him with cold water. My emotional act was the realization that he was screaming at someone who was just doing their damn job, and he was being an asshole. He hastily made an excuse and hung up.

I had a third employee covering with me from another store that day who heard everything. When I hung up, I looked over to see them watching me with an awed expression. “Did… did you just pretend to cry?”

“I absolutely fucking did,” I said with feeling, “and I’d do it a thousand more times. If that’s what it takes for someone to realize they’re behaving like a fucking prick, they deserve it.” The employee looked at me like I was their hero.

The man called back, apologizing profusely, having magically arranged his schedule to accommodate delivery. He came in later that week with an apology Starbucks gift card. I was gracious in my acceptance.

I pulled it a few more times before leaving the company. I felt no shame in the ruse. If someone behaves so poorly that it’s plausible their behavior would drive someone to tears they deserve to feel absolutely wretched about it.

#ramblies #ffs foibles #story #retail #retail hell #I have had people over the years had qualms with the ruse #one person even told me it was so unprofessional #that I’d pretend to be in more distress was not nice of me. but getting yelled at is not nice and I’m in a position where I can’t yell back #and who would they complain to that I cried? would they go to corporate and say how unprofessional the lady cried when I screamed at her!