#because i'll just start spiralling | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

wahgifs · 4 months

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[2 KIDS SHOW] EP8: LEE KNOW X HAN | WANT SO BAD | WITH MC CHANGBIN ☆

#createskz #bystay #3rachasource #seochangbingifs #forhanji #linosource #stray kids #changbin #han #lee know #skz #trying not to think about this ep #because i'll just start spiralling #but i had to gif the cutest boy in the world #i love you scb!!!#i'll come back to gif minsung #when i can stop crying about them

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cryptiduni · 10 months

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“white mourning.”

#‘‘A white mourning. A modern death. Divorce or something similar. All you can do is put more distance between you & him. make him smaller.’’#jean is a very easy character to hate if you know nothing about him. & you know what they say. easy target doesn’t make for a good practice #judit literally compares harry to intellectually disabled man yet you don’t see ppl hating her because she is outwardly nice.#she’s polite yes but she doesn’t care as much as jean cares for harry #he is not perfect. he is mean. but loyal. if he truly didn't care he wouldn't hab come back to martinaise & coulda just reported harry’s as #he put up with du bois’ bullshit for years and built a toxic (totally straight) relationship with him yet always comes back.#he says he will leave you in the village to die but please understand harry isn't exactly a great person. especially pre-bender hdb.#planned a make up joke & put on a wig for hdb even tho he wasn’t the who started the whole fiasco #you can hate him all you want for leaving harry before & during tribunal but how could he have foreseen all this bullshit would have happen #his second leaving is kinda bullshit writing but #jv is dealing with his own demons too. clinical depression. partner almost died. job is shit. case spiraling out control #i do not blame the DE staff either. sometimes shit just happens. not everything needs a grand explanation.#but it definitely coulda been handled better. but i understand. resources were sparse.#i relate to jv. as someone with temper issues & attention problems i have to remove myself from the scene or i'll say shit i'd regret late #my man is having the worst week of his life. leave him alone.#kim is great but have u heard of a man who thinks he's old when he is only 30 & luvs horses & his commie boyfriend that he's divorcin' soon #disco elysium #de fanart #jean vicquemare #disco elysium fanart #jean heron vicquemare #jean posting #illustration #de #artists on tumblr #my art #I WANTED TO DRAW THIS FOR MONTHSSS YOU COULDN'T IMAGINE. HE LITERALLY HAUNTED ME IN MY SLEEP!!!#i love him normal amount. very healthy. much feelings #my little maiu maiu

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torchickentacos · 4 months

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girl help i've been hit with the twentysomething curse of wanting to move to a city where nobody knows my name and where I get to feel and see and be something new✌️

#ok to rb lmao. i'll be fine. just desperately awaiting the day i pack up and move to a dorm #it's so funny actually #because like. so many people associate depression with wanting things to end but i'm in a bit of a spiral bc want it to START #i am a sad lump on the couch because i can't wait for things to BEGIN #i miss people i've never met and i miss places i've never seen and i miss things i haven't had and i miss who i haven't been yet #carly rae jepsen was right. before you came into my life i missed you so bad.#death cab for cutie was right. i miss strangers more than i miss my (irl) friends #TANGLED WAS RIGHT. WHEN WILL MY LIFE BEGIN #i was not built for this (being immunocompromised and in my house all the time)#guess i'l just explore the woods and/or write fic and project about it for the 834384785648th time

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baalzebufo · 9 months

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one of my favourite songs of his and i cant believe i didnt see the live recording until like yesterday ... thanks weird al tumblr blogs i follow. for putting germs in my brain

#yes i am weird al fanart posting on main. sorry this is something you just have to deal with now #i KNOW this . is not my usual content. but my case of the mondays has extended into tuesday. let me have this #if i keep joking about it i'll feel less embarrassed about posting-#alloyart #weird al yankovic #literally this all started because of that goddamn dnd oc and me using al as a reference for him and it spiralled out of control #and then i relistened to a bunch of his stuff and got that good warm fuzzy nostalgia from when i was younger and less ashamed of being goof #so im trying to bring that back lol #anyway. i enjoy this outfit.

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moregraceful · 15 hours

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Photos: 1. Blossoms on I think the plum tree, taken on film; 2. Jake Oettinger grappling with Miro Heiskanen while Jason Robertson and Roope Hintz look on; 3. Flowers and shadows at midnight.

#having like eight different mental breakdowns rolled into one atm and like don't even know how to talk about them #like where do i start. it started eight months ago. it started two years ago. it started 35 years #ago.#i said i would have * done by tonight bc it would open up some job opportunities but every time i look at google docs i scream #i may need to handwrite it #and people at * being like oh you look tired. well i am tired. you people make me very tired. but you do not care #and it's like how much of this was preventable vs how much is just someone pulling out that last loadbearing block in the jenga tower of my #sanity and now it's all falling down #i made a list last night to compare things that would make me sad about doing * vs things that fill me with hope and curiosity and quiet joy #the hope/curiosity/quiet joys list was a lot longer #i swear every third text message i send beryl is like hi. i'm spiralling. again. but then i'll say to someone else and theyre like wow have #you tried not spiraling?#well i love to do that personally but every time i try something massively destabilizing happens #it's so interesting (it's not interesting)#angela sent a wonderful prompt about sleep deprived demon summoning #and being as i am on that shit i thought ok what if cale summons a demon due to sleep deprivation #but the demon is simply his younger self. happier #less ground down. more bright-eyed. easier to smile. doesn't feel the weight of expectation #voice like you hear in a recording of yourself five years ago and it's you but it's not you #it's him but it's not him because it's also a little evil. what if you hadn't looked the other way #what if you said something. what if you found your voice. what if you let your heart grow open rather than grow cold.#the demon of a cale who is less serious and more open less selfish and more giving #and he calls devon in the night and devon ends up at his house with two cales the one he loves and the one he always wishes he'd known #before the nhl ground it out of him #and then devon has to decide who does he keep the now cale he loves or the old happier gentler cale #and as i was contemplating thaf i thought hm. it's possible i'm sublimating some things there #like i am to be clear a way happier and more well-adjusted person overall than i was five years ago #but rn i'm also an animal with its leg in a trap growing increasingly desperate and frantic #fresno oilers.txt

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glitter-andgold · 17 days

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General Valentina Headcannons (Saw X)

Currently planning the "Valentina lives and becomes an apprentice" AU I've been wanting to write so consider this a precursor to that! (I wasn't kidding when I said I had many headcannons about her so enjoy the ramblings of a mad man <3)

Her full name is Valentina Rosa Hernández

She was 32 years old during the events of Saw X.

This makes her younger than Cecilia & Mateo and older than Diego and Gabriella

Valentina’s birthday is on the 27th of July (thus making her star sign Leo)

Let’s those close to her call her Val for short.

Is still trying to put an exact label on her sexuality but knows for a fact she isn’t straight

Valentina struggles to fully trust and open up to people as she’s been hurt by many throughout her life; she often uses her feisty, sarcastic personality as a shield. Though if you manage to break through this prickly facade, you will find a loyal woman with a lot of love to give.

Valentina loves doing her makeup and is quite the talented makeup artist. It was almost like her pre-work relaxation ritual for the night, doing her makeup while blasting some of her favourite music.

Loves heavy metal and rock music! It was quite rare but when she was able to go to concerts, she’d be in the mosh pit.

As well as having her ears pierced, she’s also got her belly button pierced.

Has a younger half-sister named Carmen who is five years younger than her. Val loves her above all else and is fiercely protective of. Aside from this has no relationship with any of her immediate family.

Growing up it was just Valentina and her father; her mother wasn’t really in the picture. She was really close with her father. However, he passed away when she was 12.

She was then sent to live with her mother, step father and Carmen. Her mother and step-father were cold and neglectful towards her, it was always clear that they didn’t want her there.

As a result of this she grew into a trouble making teenager.

At first, she was distant from her little sister, envious of the love her mother and step father seemed to give her. However, as the pair grew older Valentina came to realise that the amount of pressure they put on her, even from a young age, was harmful within itself. They didn’t love her, they loved the idea of her and as soon as Carmen strayed from what they wanted she was punished. From that moment onwards Valentina vowed to love and protect her sister.

In fact, she started trying to change her trouble making ways so she could be a better older sister.

Valentina left home the age of 20 after a huge argument with her mother and step-father. The only person she stayed in contact with was Carmen (and she had to fight to stay in contact with her, their mother tried to prevent it but was unsuccessful).

Had little to her name when she left home and ended up couch surfing at friend’s places for a while.

Eventually saves up enough to rent a little place of her own, it was small and little bit rundown but it was hers. Carmen ended up moving in with Valentina after also having a falling out with their parents. Times could be tough but they were happy to have each other.

Valentina always wanted to provide a better life for her sister than what she was able to and this is why Cecilia was able to convince her to join the scam. She promised Valentina a life changing sum of money in exchange for pretending to be a nurse for a couple of days. Valentina had her doubts but at the end of the day, such a large sum of money to pretend to be a nurse for a short period of time??? She’d be a fool not too, after all this was for her sister. And she’d do anything for her sister.

#saw #saw x #saw x valentina #sawposting #saw franchise #saw movies #headcannons #I am so normal about her /j #It's funny that this originally started because I wanted to headcannon a full name and age for her #And then it just spiraled from there lmao #And yes her last name is the same as her actress's pls excuse my lack of creativity there LMAO (I overthink names far too much)#Also something that's silly is I gotta lowkey hype myself up to post any writing I do 'cause I'm worried I'll somehow get it all wrong loll #Which is RIDICULOUS I know haha #But I gotta show my girl the love she deserves #cause I am forever cursed to care about characters who have little to no cannon info about them #also not to be rambling in the tags but y'all can pry sapphic Valentina from my cold dead hands <3

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born-to-lose · 1 year

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#ok to rb because this handmade meme is good #but i need to vent a bit so you either skip the tags or read my suffering #no i'm not actually gonna kill myself (now) but like. what if i was dead #i just feel like absolute shit and completely helpless with everything and i'm (not even slowly) losing control of myself #i need to work on myself and my issues asap before i get Really Bad but i have no idea where to start #i'm planning to go to the self defence area of this one shop on friday because at this point you need it here if you're out alone #probably getting a pocket knife and i'm highkey scared because i'll have to keep it out of my room just to be safe #or else i can't guarantee that i won't cut myself or even end it for real when i get bad and it's just there on my desk waiting to be used #anyways i closed the 'it is what it is' chapter and i'm now going to spiral out of control #maybe not hopefully. not if i finally do something immediately #mel talks #tw self harm #depressed bitch posting

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butchvoid · 20 days

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mmm I got an appointment date for a gyno to get the hysterectomy process started which is! good news! but the appointment isnt until september. and the letter straight up told me to expect to have to sit in the waiting room for up to two hours after my stated appointment time. on a week day. when I will be in school. and I'm just filled with dread because that means I have to endure a whole 5 more periods before even the consult appointment. and I was naively hoping that I'd have the surgery before I was in school this fall, because I don't want to have to take time off of school to heal

#and I just.. I wont even have a summer break because I'll be dojng a work placement so I cant just have it done next summer #sorry I am. starting to spiral and panic lol #I dont know if I can do this (school)

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thebleedingeffect · 1 month

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.

#okay I'm talking in the tags of this post cause shit is happening in my life and I gotta talk about it somewhere #one part of it is my step brother crashing and burning before my very eyes and there's nothing I can do to stop his own destructive actions #so it's just me watching this poor kid ruin his relationships and blame everything and everyone around him as he does so #despite the fact that he's undeniably been treated horribly at times- he's just turned that anger back onto others and himself #and I have no idea what to feel as I watch him get arrested. have drug problems. because I'm just waiting for the inevitable spiral #it doesn't help that my mom has been comparing us and saying that I'm the much better child and she wishes he was like me #not understanding that I could’ve been him if I was just more angry at the world at that age instead of being so sad and scared #and that leads me to my fucking mom cause like- I love her. we've been through alot of bad shit with her #I've almost done some really bad shit for her and I know that she loves me more than anything else #but it feels like its been getting more and more suffocating cause I'm not sure she's able to start seeing me as an adult #and start loosening her grip around me and let me breathe. to have my own experiences without her by my side #to be able to go places and imagine a future without her constantly by my side #she talks and it's like she doesn't even think to wonder that perhaps I want to form my own experiences #and experience the world on my own terms because I feel like I've spent my whole life having so little damn control #religious family. shit and neglectful father who turned into the exact opposite and nearly killed me. family who refuses to listen and talk #having to move and run immediately. put survival above all else. go to school. get out. and god I just wanna breathe #she loves me so much and I love her too. but I feel like I'll be sooner crushed if I stick here for long enough #I'm just mad that my life has been nothing but absolutely no love. sudden waves of intense love. absolutely nothing. sudden spike #and I feel like I'm just finally starting to form good. healthy relationships on my own terms and actually make friends #because I had no idea what I was doing when I was a kid cause I was so fucking lonely and hurting #now I just. gotta figure out how to tell my mom that I can't carry this expectation that I'll continue to stay forever by her side #it just feels like I'm her child first and a person second. and it sucks. it really sucks.#ough. spins and spins and spins and spins-

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peribirb · 1 month

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...

#i really. really want to get to a point where i can be comfortable in my being trans #a point where getting my picture taken or looking in a mirror doesn't send me spiraling #i dunno i just want to be able to present myself to the world without feeling awful!#it's unfair because i know every other trans girl has to go through the same shit but like. fuck i wish i could at least fake it better lol #i dunno. tdov has me feeling a kinda way #jealous of those who were able to start earlier than i did. jealous of those who found their style and voice and know how to share it #i'm trying not to let it get to me because i know the only answer is. well get on hrt now (i tried!)#and i know it's “never too late” and i sincerely believe that but it also really really stings how much stuff i'll never get to make up for #i spent so long hiding from myself that now i'm like. well now what. how the fuck do i try to exist again in the physical world #ughhhhhhhhh #delete later

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andthebeanstalk · 11 months

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i love that you are still here on this earth. i am relieved that we've both made it this far. and i am so, so happy to be here on this planet with you. thank you for that.

#original #this is bc i wrote a super long post about mental health and ableism and saved it to my drafts after finishing it bc it is #intense enough to give it a breather and a second look before posting it #it started as an angry thing about suicide and ableism but ended in a long beautiful monologue that basically can be summed up w this post #which is. ya know. actually a really good sign for my overall mental health. just... considering how those topics used to spiral me #like send me into a downward mental spiral to a dangerous degree. this is way way better. (if almost as time-consuming lol)#but also i may have literally just been repeating another post i've made so #idk #but anyway thank you for being here. please stay alive bc in 20 years i am going to have a party and you are invited #i am saving you a seat just like all the other kind folks you could meet in that time if you don't run into me specifically #but you need to be alive to be able to go bc I don't think ghosts exist and i definitely can't see them if they do #so you gotta try your best okay? just like you've been doing. hold on. be brave. and i'll try to do the same.#because baby i'm going to that fucking party.#and it is going to RULE but it will be so much better if you're there too.

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autisticchangeling · 1 year

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Ugh, I just hate the sheer ego in medical professionals assuming that if they can't identify an issue as related to their specific field it must be psychological.

Like, breaking news! There are other fields of medicine! If you're not expert enough in those to tell me it's one of them, why are you an expert enough in mental health to tell me it's that just because I have a fucking anxiety disorder?

Especially when I've had that anxiety disorder basically my whole life and these symptoms are new.

Like, you know what's causing me anxiety right now? These damn symptoms!

#sorry just had to rant #trying to hold onto the righteous indignation because otherwise I'll start spiralling #it's like medical professionals think mentally ill people don't know we're mentally ill and have never considered it may be the cause

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piplupod · 7 months

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nooooo dont find omens in the otherwise explainable, you're so sexy ahahahaaa