phil dunphy and "innocent" incompetence
Rewatching modern family and it's shocking to me how Phil Dunphy for a very long time was pushed by MF fans as the ideal husband. At first glance, he is a goofball, kind husband with childlike wonder who helps counterbalance Claire's uptightness and seriousness.
But in reality, Phil is like what many men are expected to be in their married relationships : useless. He is completely useless to Claire, which she brings up all the time : lets her do all the chores, all of the home rearing tasks even though he works so little he might as well be a stay at home husband. Him being so childish and refusing to enforce boundaries with his own children by acting like an adult is a very funny joke for a sitcom, but if it were real life it would make Phil a terrible husband, father and a complete burden on Claire who now has to take care of her husband's incompetence on top of raising her 3 children. If you've ever been in a situation where you had to work with someone else, but the other person doesn't know how to make themselves useful, so you have no choice but to micromanage them, then you KNOW how exhausting that is, even more so than doing it alone.
And before people "it's just a sitcom, it's not real" I KNOW. But there are so many people who watch this show and genuinely believe that Phil is great. I read a post raising the same concerns as me, and people were like "Phil is clueless, so he's harmless" and honestly something sparked in my brain. Women are always expected to forgive men's complete incompetence because they are "clueless". Running a household is after all a woman's task, and men can't be expected to ever learn how to do it, even if they're married with 3 kids. So women need to just happily accept the heavy burden, and accept to deal with a manchild as a husband. Not only do they have to accept this burden, but they should be grateful.
As if that alone wasn't enough, Phil constantly disrespects Claire. The fact that people (and that includes me on first watch), think his behaviour towards his own wife is funny is telling. He is constantly disrespectful of her, openly flirting with other women and openly crossing the line, such as staring at other women when his own wife is talking to him or hesitating when others flirt with him. And people say "oh but it's normal to still be attracted to others when you're married!" but there's a complete difference between attraction and his sleazy behaviour. That's what annoys me so much, not Phil Dunphy who is a gimmick character, but people who are insisting his behaviour is totally acceptable and that's just what a normal, healthy marriage looks like. The whole show, Phil belittles Claire, jokes about her uptightness even though she has to be strict because she literally gets no help, even makes a "marriage is prison" joke (which Claire does call him out on it), he has the most divorced dad energy I've ever seen. And yet people expect women to see him as a perfect cute baby husband who is harmless, and not what he actually is, a grown fucking man.
I keep thinking about how many of my girlfriends dated incompetent, lazy, dependent and pathetic men and excused their behaviour saying "oh no he just doesn't understand thesse things!" "yeah he forgot my birthday for the 3rd time in a row but you know how he is!" "oh yeah i hate it when he does that but you know how guys are!" Women constantly give men the benefit of the doubt (while never offering women the same benefit) and they use it to get away with being more useless.
This just sums up a big problem I have with dating. Women from birth to adulthood are raised into being the perfect wives and eventually the perfect mothers. I mean just look at the women in MF, Claire, a perfect household leader who takes care of everything that needs to be done for her family while her husband gets away with being a disney dad, and Gloria, the hot trophy woman who giggles and makes snarky replies when her husband throws racist or objectifying comments at her. They have created fantasy stereotypes of what a woman should be like that caters to men (all while denegrating said fantasies), but have never done so for men. Men are not, and have never been taught to be good husbands and fathers. The few advice they get on this does not come from women, or with women's needs in mind, but from other men, with the idea of impressing other men down the line.
0 notes
your fae au is WONDERFUL
i kinda read every single post in one sitting and can't get enough of those fae boys (loved them all but Soap and König are my favs, mean trickster Johnny ❤my love). Do you have some more of Soap and their Darling, pretty please with a cherry on top? Maybe Soaps visits Liebling shop? Does Johnny know König, they probably wouldn't like one another but Soap never was one to get scared...
This is a good post to say: No Fae!141 do not know König! Or like, they know of him because he's a weirdo but they don't know him. Price maybe has met him, but the rest of the boys are not acquainted with the nasty boy. This is a lot of Soap's darling being an adhd queen and not a lot of romance stuff. Very territorial fae vibes tho.
We’re going to get a quick Liebling POV before jumping to Soap and his Darling because God, I love terrorizing Liebling's shop.
You’ve had very little reason to fear the creatures that enter your shop since König started hanging around. You really have no reason to fear anything with him hanging over your shoulder at every hour of the work day. König tends to keep most of the fae in line by sheer presence alone, and human customers tend to act better when they notice how imposing he is. “Scary dog privilege” is what Love called it.
That said, this one is… bad. In a way that squirms in your stomach, visceral and primal and understanding in a way that you can’t even start to think about. He looks human enough, but it’s wrong. The way he moves, limbs long and calculated, elegant and dangerous, inhuman in a way you’d expect from a spider not a man. His voice rubs against your brain like petting the wrong way on velvet, hollow behind the friendly tone, in-genuine. His eyes slide to you like water and stop, staring, Looking.
Ice cold fear grips you tight in your chest. He doesn’t like you. You know it as soon as you meet his eye that you are something he despises. Not in an interpersonal way, no, he hates you the way you would hate a cockroach. Just through the virtue of its very existence in your presence.
König wraps a hand over your eyes, warm darkness obscuring your vision. You’re thankful for it, before you remember this isn’t exactly workplace appropriate behavior. You pull at his wrist and he presses harder against your eyes. His body curls over you, growling a low warning.
-
You are just full to bursting with ideas. You feel all light and golden and your brain wheels are turning at 100 miles an hour and you are getting that sweet sweet dopamine just how you like. God, you love that brand new special interest feel.
You pull out your phone to write a few lines down that pop into your mind and then can’t stop. Johnny’s hand slides right at home on your lower back, as you type. Your shoulders jerk a little, not used to being touched when you’re in the zone. Your fingers hover over the digital keyboard, trying to come up with the next line, no this is a good stopping point for now. You look up at your neglected date and he’s not even looking at you. He’s frowning at some guy across the store. He’s talking to the woman behind the counter, spinning her toward the back room insistently. Not your circus. You turn back to the display you’d stopped in front of.
You came in here for something, not that you remember what that was, plant stuff probably. You do have a few houseplants still desperately clinging to life. You pick up one of the cute little potted succulents and try to ignore the way the hand on your back is starting to burn. Johnny’s fingers curl against your shirt, breaking the fabric and digging into your skin. You hiss and jerk away from the feeling. Whatever spell he was under seems to break as you rub your back. Your shirt is all in one piece and the pain is gone like it was never there. Still, you’re not a fan of whatever that was.
“Thought we were looking for a notebook,” Johnny says as you hold up the terracotta pot to check for a price.
“I have a million notebooks,” You tell him, settling the pot back in its place. You look up at him, there’s something different in his face, something- huh, you don’t have the right word for it. He’s like a cat with its hackles raised. But that’s not quite right. You don’t have the right linguistic trigger to pull the word from your catalog. Not upset, almost… threatened. Almost. You’ll think of it later. “You good? We can do something else if you want.”
“I’m happy just being with you, we don’t need to do anything special.” He smiles, and it feels… hollow.
“You’re not a very good liar,” You raise a brow and his eyes widen ever so slightly before his smile turns into something much more genuine.
“Let’s do something else.” He relents. You nod, that’s much better. You don’t like being given the runaround, direct is your preference. That’s part of the reason you like Johnny so much, he doesn’t beat around the bush with you.
“We can grab lunch? I’m starving.” You tell him, letting him lead the way out of the shop. Your wrist is grabbed as Johnny holds the door for you, and you turn to see the rather frazzled looking shop girl. She presses something like crumpled paper into your palm with a tight expression.
“This is weird, I’m really sorry, but please take this,” She says and you give her a confused look but nod. She looks almost relieved, and lets you go. You follow Johnny out of the shop and open you hand curiously.
It’s paper, notebook paper, with a phone number on it and some weird name you don’t understand. You don’t really pay attention to the name on it, focus instead drawn to the silvery ring. It’s basic but pretty, not the sort of thing you’d give to a stranger. You slip it into your pocket to inspect later, not one to look a gift horse in the mouth.
“So, lunch! I’m thinking-” You list out a few options, meandering the conversation in whichever direction you please as Soap bites down a growl. The only thing worse than a seer is a nosy seer.
218 notes
·
View notes
https://www.tumblr.com/skullsandcorals/738285799236321280/im-dyslexic-im-not-stupid
1. Holy shit I am so happy I found another person who gets how smart Percy is, and gets that every instance of Percy looking/getting called stupid is due to his dyslexia or people not telling him anything.
2. Which book/chapter is this from? I need to bookmark it ASAP and start shouting it from the metaphorical tumblr hills.
3. We really don't talk about how good a mom Sally is? Like yeah she's badass and gentle but like. She respects Percy. When the school system failed Percy, she's the one who still not only believed that he was smart but still acted like it and probably taught him too. Queen mom Sally Jackson right there.
1.) YEAHH EXACTLY. Or his ADHD 😭 It drives me NUTS whenever Percy is treated as the dumb + comedic guy. Like I get what they're saying and why they're saying it, but sometimes his character gets reduced to JUST that and it hurts my soul. I get that he's funny as a narrator and as a character and sometimes he can be a little "clueless" but it just feels like some people like to think of that as either all he is or a huge part of who he is. I believe I've also seen Leo get this treatment despite literally being insanely smart at such a young age so. that's...fun. They can be funny and smart too 😞
2.) It's from the 10th Anniversary edition of The Lightning Thief! It's Rick's cover letter for the first readers of the manuscript & a note from the narrator. I don't have a copy of that edition myself, but I've seen some pictures of it on Rick's blog and someone posted one of the pages on Reddit (where I got it from).
Here's the full page from Reddit (source) & the picture from Rick's blog where the page is visible (source):
3.) YEEEAHHHH I LOVE HER SO MUCH!!! What I would do to get adopted by her rn. The way she talks to him makes me kinda teary-eyed because she's just so...you can just tell how much she loves Percy and that she would do anything to make sure he grew up resilient and kind in a world that's always out to get him. She believes in him so much that it just makes me lose my mind a little. It's just so sweet and I can't help but feel so moved by it.
I'm not sure if you've read Chalice of the Gods, but there's this scene where (spoilers, kinda) Sally talks to Percy after the whole thing with Hebe and honestly this scene makes me want to sob and cry and weep
“You are a lot of things, Percy. But helpless isn't one of them.”
37 notes
·
View notes