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lavendermunson · 2 months

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mine - steve harrington

summary you get separated from the love of your life after spending the best night together, would the universe bring you back to him? based on this request, thank you so much!

cw college!steve, college!reader. fluff, angst and more angst then more fluff. modern times!! allusions to sex. reader wears glasses sometimes.

w.c 9.2k

a/n created a playlist for this one (i struggled a little bit and the songs helped) thank you to @stveharringtn and @ihatepeanutss for reading the early chapter and motivating me to continue ily! NO PROOFREAD BECAUSE IM EXCITED

dividers by @saradika

I. Left a small town and never looked back.

Due to your parents' jobs, you had to move frequently, and the longest you stayed in one place was three years. You were so used to this, following the single rule for yourself: never get attached.

One problem, it was impossible not to fall for Steve Harrington.

You met Steve in Hawkins, and the three years you spent together were magical. Talking late at night, going to the movies, and hanging out by the lake. Holidays were always spent with him, you invited him to your house, and your parents loved him. Even though your little brother was only 8 years old, he knew Steve was important to the family.

The last year of high school was just around the corner. You’ve talked to Steve about graduating together, going to college, and spending the rest of your lives together. Watching each other through all the ups and downs of adulthood, you knew Steve was going to stay with you no matter what, he would be there for you, and you would be there for him. It was all a perfect dream, you’d have someone to celebrate your victories and cheer you up when the inevitable bad luck followed you around.

That dream was crushed when your parents told you they had to move again. You were heartbroken, and even more so because you were going to be separated from your favorite person. It was the first time you'd broken the rule, you got attached to Steve, and you fell in love with him.

The news broke him. He couldn’t sleep for the rest of the week, he wanted to be with you all the time, like you promised.

———

Before leaving Hawkins, you decided to confess your feelings for him. It felt wrong to pack that secret into your suitcase. Steve felt the same, he liked you too, but he didn’t want to admit he was in love with you yet. He decided to make your last day at Hawkins the best day you’ve ever had.

The first stop was the diner outside of town to eat burgers, fries, and milkshakes like you always do. At your favorite booth, this time it had a vase with flowers in the center of the table and a beanie babie.

“This is the one I saw in the magazine.” You take the white stuffed bear, it has a red ribbon around his neck and an embroidered red heart.

“In case you need someone to hug,” he says, looking at the laces of his shoes and holding back his tears.

“Smells good! I’m so hungry.” You saw the way his smile faded, changing the subject was better than crying already. You had to enjoy the night.

While sipping from your freshly made milkshakes— stealing the cherry on top of his milkshake as usual—and watching Steve go over the old jukebox to play your favorite songs, the pocket of his jeans ended up empty from using all the coins he had.

“Get up! We have to dance.” Steve stands up, reaching for your hand.

He had to choose wisely for the next song, it was the last coin he had, so of course Be My Baby, by The Ronettes, was playing. He took your hand, squeezing it, and placed his free hand on your back to keep you closer. You rest one of your hands on his chest, feeling his heart beat fast for you.

Everyone in the diner was watching you, but you didn’t care. You were in the arms of your boy, your love, and it was the last night with him before a while. You had to dance like nobody was watching.

Leaving the checkered floor and the red booths, the second stop was the theater, cuddling while watching ‘Before Sunrise’ . It's one of your favorite movies, and it came back to the big screen for its anniversary.

Both of you get the feeling that it is the perfect movie to watch on a day like this. It was perfect because you don’t know what’s going to happen with you two in the future, just like Celine and Jesse. Your love for each other looks like that, it feels like that, and the best part is that it’s real, not something written for a movie. You aren’t acting or performing. You are feeling it.

You feel so lucky you didn’t meet him for just one night, you had spent so much time with Steve. The endless walks around the park and picking flowers in spring while he holds the basket and you place your favorites on it so you can take them home. The fun summers, hanging out by the pool, and eating a lot of ice cream—one of those years you had free ice cream thanks to Steve working at Scoops Ahoy. You spent the entire summer making fun of his tiny sailor suit, not wanting to admit he looked really good in it.

Fall was always fun, dressing up for Halloween, and joining the kids to trick or treat, so at the end, you can steal some of their best candy bars. The adorable winter, playing in the snow and getting your nose red, drinking hot cocoa and marshmallows while watching Christmas movies.

Everything comes back to your mind like you were watching your movie. Feeling safe and loved with Steve’s arms around you. You never fought before, nothing went bad, but everything was over. For a while.

Steve holds your hand while you walk through the parking lot. The night sky is decorated with stars, so big and bright. He interlocks his fingers with yours, squeezing your hand as you walk to his BMW.

The last stop is Lover’s Lake. He parks his car in the usual spot—your favorite spot. It’s the best place to feel the magic of the water mixed with the light of the moon. A reminder that you exist on the same planet, even if the miles come between you.

The radio starts to play ‘Don’t you forget about me’. The song was perfect. You take a deep breath. This is a moment you will remember forever.

Both sitting in the hood of his car, he hugs you, shielding you from the cold breeze, and kisses the top of your head while your back rests against his chest. The tears start to spill from your eyes, rolling down your cheeks. You can't hold the sobs, your chest is giving up.

“Hey, hey!” He turns you around, softly cupping your face between his hands and rubbing the tears away with his thumbs.

“Don’t you dare forget about me,” you whisper, as if the trees were going to be disturbed by your sobs.

“I won’t, I’ll call you every day. But I am going to miss you so much,” he whispers back.

“I’m scared, Stevie,” you sob, tangling your arms around his neck. “What if we can’t make it?”

“We will, we got this. The love I have for you is stronger than anything else, we won’t let the distance break us.”

“Do you promise?”

“I promise”

Pressing his thumbs against your cheeks, he gets close to you. Your lips touch, and it feels like thousands of fireworks light up inside you. You feel one of his hands slide down your arm, and it makes you shiver. His hand rests on your waist and gives it a little squeeze. You jump closer to him than before, and you can feel his lips turn into a grin.

It wasn’t your first kiss with him. You kissed sometimes while playing spin the bottle or when Steve wanted to teach you how to kiss better.

“We will get through this. I'll see you again, and we can live the rest of our lives together.”

He kisses you again, and you open your mouth as he pushes your face to the side with his thumb. He slides his tongue to join yours and get more of the way you taste, honey, strawberries and cherries. Steve is being patient, taking his time brushing his tongue against yours and humming at how good it feels.

This kiss felt more magical, it made your insides bubbly, and your cheeks got warmer. But inside you, the clock was ticking, you had to savor this moment in case the universe turned against you again.

He breaks the kiss, trying to slow his breath. You do the same, opening your eyes slowly.

“I won’t do anything, not tonight." His voice is soft, but the tone is deeper. He feels a knot in his throat. “But next time, I promise I will make you feel so good.”

“I know, next time and the others. There’s only a couple of months left for summer break, and we will see each other again.”

“We will, baby. Now kiss me before I fall to the floor, you look so pretty tonight as you always do.”

“You are beautiful, Stevie.”He kisses you again, not getting enough of you. He kissed you before you went inside the house and he would’ve kissed you a thousand times more if he knew it was going to be the last time.

II. Wondering why we bother with love if it never lasts.

You were disconnected and heartbroken by the time you spent the first week of your last year of high school at a different school. Steve picked a few shifts a week at the local coffee shop after school, always with Robin by his side.

Hawkins felt so empty without you. Every time he saw a happy couple smiling, kissing, or hugging, he felt nauseous and jealous. His friends knew how he felt, they missed you too, but they never stopped calling you.

The only thing that kept him going were your calls, you called every single night. Tell him about your day, your new school, and your new friends. He tells you about school, work, Robin, and the kids. It was good, he loved hearing your voice and watching you through his screen.

“I can’t believe it! I told you! Steve Harrington’s first A+ essay, and without my help. I feel a little wounded, you don’t need me at all!”

He felt so proud of himself. You were the last one to know about it but you are the most excited one. Even more excited than him.

“You are a great tutor, all those tips and seeing my practice essays marked with a pink glittery pen helped me a lot”

“I'm so proud of you, you are capable of anything I know!”

“Honey…” Steve’s worried face makes your heart sink.

“Yes?”

“I’m always going to need you. I can’t live without you.”

You press both of your hands against your chest as if that were going to soothe your pain. The damage you caused him is evident, you shouldn’t have broken that stupid rule.

“I miss you, Stevie. I can’t do this without you.”

“I miss you too, honey. And you can, you have me here. Always”

Steve feels his head heavier each minute, the long hours at the coffee shop kill him.

“We should go to sleep, yeah?” he says, noticing your sleepy face.

“We should. Good night. Call me tomorrow!”

“Please, I don’t know if I can survive without hearing your voice”

You get closer to your camera, blowing him a kiss.

“I’ll annoy you with my voice every night, honey!”

“I’d love that baby. Good night,” he says, blowing a kiss back.

When you hang up, he tosses his laptop to the floor. It falls on the pile of unwashed clothes he has.

“Weird,” he says to himself, looking at his laptop resting on the clothes. He takes a look around his room. It’s a mess, he makes a mental note to clean it, and he can’t stress over it right now.

Steve lays with his back against the mattress. He remembers the way you brought your hands up to your chest. He does the same, hoping to understand why you did it.

His warm palms rest against his chest, now he knows. He feels it. Steve applies a bit of pressure to his chest, closing his eyes and trying to fall asleep.

So much for trying, it felt like maybe five minutes had passed, and when he glanced at his clock, it was six a.m. His alarm was about to go off, and he had to go downstairs, make breakfast, and get on his way to pick Robin up to go to school.

That’s when he lets out a sob. Time does pass without you, the world doesn’t stop, and he gets even more scared than before.

Don’t you forget about me.

He grabbed his phone, clicking on his texts. You’ve already said good morning to him.

‘Good morning baby. I'll miss you forever. Have a nice day! Love you”

That’s when he takes a moment to reply.

‘Good morning, hope you slept well. I love you too.”

And then he gets out of bed to spend another day without you by his side. Knowing you are slipping through his fingers already.

———

Three weeks later.

The calls stopped being frequent, sometimes you were too tired, or sometimes he was too tired.

“I have to go, I'm exhausted. Can I call you tomorrow?” you ask him.

Steve had to ignore the arrow that just shot through his heart, he wasn’t ready to say goodbye. The more he talked to you, the more he missed you. When he knew you weren’t going to make it for the summer break he felt his heart break, every time he woke up he was already crying.

This broke your heart too, not being able to see him, or visit your friends. It felt like some strange and strong force was keeping you away and pushing you farther.

“Of course, honey. Sweet dreams”

“Sweet dreams, Stevie.”

He closes his laptop after you hang up, tossing it aside. The pile of clothes seems to be bigger. He swears to do it tomorrow, or the day after tomorrow. Whenever he feels like he is alive.

Four months later.

The rush hour at the coffee shop ends up killing Steve’s back, and his feet are burning. To his surprise, his parents are home.

Can this day get any worse? Yes, you haven’t texted him back since yesterday.

"Steve, are you still wasting your time at that damn coffee shop?” His dad shouts he doesn’t have time for this. “Steve?”

He hears his dad’s heavy steps behind him. He catches Steve at the first step of the stairs.

“Didn’t you hear me? Say something!”

“I’m not wasting my time, I'm saving up for college,” Steve whispers. He can feel his dad’s warm breath against his face, and he can smell the whiskey too.

“College? You are going to work for me, right?”

“No?”

“Then why go to college in the first place?”

Steve pushes his dad away, and his mother joins them.

“It’s clear, John.” she says.

“Say it, Steve.”

“To get the fuck away from you, that’s why,” Steve spits out. His eyes were burning, and tears were threatening to fall.

He gets away from them, locking himself in his room. He doesn’t mind looking at his phone or picking up his laptop, he just wants to fall asleep and get this over with. It has been such a long day.

Six months later.

It’s been a long time since you’ve talked to each other.

“Are you tired?” You ask, and he has been rubbing his eyes for the third time now. “You don’t have to hang up, carry me to your bed.”

Steve leaned his head to the side, just as a confused puppy does.

“C’mon, I’ll read you a story so you can fall asleep. Like old times.”

“Are you sleeping late?”

“I have assignments to finish, I need to catch up with a few classes because I fell behind.”

“You’ll do great, honey. You are the smartest person I know!”

“Steve Harrington, you are the smartest person I know. We are a couple of months away from college and i'm really excited”

“Me too honey, it sucks you couldn’t come here for summer break”

You will see each other, you will.

Steve shakes his head with a smile plastered on his face, holding the laptop in his hands. He lets himself lie under his sheets, fixing his pillow and resting his head on it.

"Are you ready?” you ask him, sitting on your desk and getting comfortable for a long night.

“Ready, no scary tales, please!"

“I promise! Close your eyes now!”

Steve takes the last glance at you, his fingers reaching to touch his screen as if he were touching your face. But he can’t, you are too far away now and it kills him.

“Goodnight”

The bubbly feeling in your chest goes away when you don’t hear a nickname. No honey, no baby.

“Goodnight!” You wait until his eyes are closed. “And we begin, once upon a time."

Steve falls asleep before getting to know what the story is about, he was so tired and this is the first time he has slept more than three hours.

You close your laptop after watching him turn to the other side. You are trying to return your attention to your assignments, but the only thing you can feel is your heart breaking again. The hope you once had is now fading away. You are managing to live without him, but you don’t want to.

Steve regrets it. He regrets falling asleep. This time he didn’t wake up seeing your face, he didn’t get to hear your bedtime story, and he didn’t get to tell you how much he loved you. And he regrets it so much because it was the last time he heard your voice.

III. And every time I look at you it’s like the first time

Two years later.

Steve had a hard time finishing high school, but he did. Later, he had to retake a year, but he saved up some money with Robin to move to college. After jumping up and down and celebrating with their friends their acceptance letters, they got into the college dorms for the first year, but that went very badly because they couldn’t be roommates and all the noise from the dorm building was constantly giving them a headache.

He saw Nancy and Jonathan when they all came back from college over the summer break, hanging up with them was the best. They helped him and Robin choose the best apartment outside of college, it was close to the new coffee shop they were working on and close to their buildings. He never saw you again, you were too busy to travel, and he was too. Mindlessly forgetting about each other and not meeting again hurt less.

When he had to retake a year, he hesitated to call you. He was ashamed of himself, you were supposed to go to the same college in the same year.

When he finally got his acceptance letter, he didn’t call you. Steve had a feeling you got into college and that your life was going well. He knew he was right.

But it had a good outcome, Steve retook his senior year and moved in with his best friend to start a new chapter in his life. A life that he wanted to enjoy, free from the pressure of his parents and the small town that made him feel so small.

Their first year wasn’t easy. Steve spent most of his time in his dorm, and Robin did too. They didn’t go to parties and didn’t seem too excited about meeting new people.

He felt like a total stranger like he didn’t belong there. He picked the same coffee shop he was working in to hang out, he picked the public library over the school library because it looked terrifying.

Steve spent most of his weekends and days off studying, he was at the top of his class. Whenever he wrote an essay, it reminded him of you, but not as a sign of hope, just a reminder of his small town years.

Robin spent most of her weekends traveling to Hawkins to meet her girlfriend, Chrissy. Taking Steve’s car and cleaning it for him as a thank you.

Steve didn’t meet anyone else, he didn’t want to get attached. If anyone leaves, what’s the point? He was only close to two of his classmates, that was enough for him.

———

“Do you know who’s moving in?” your roommate asks, Diana was always aware of every gossip around college. It was your second year being her roommate, she slowly became your best friend.

“No, who?” You ask, not really wanting to know but giving her satisfaction again.

“A new couple! I hope they aren’t as loud as the last ones.”

“Please, I need to buy new headphones just in case.”

Diana laughs, walking towards her room to place some of the new boxes she moved in. You asked if she wanted help, but she didn’t because her brand new date was going to join her.

You decided to head up to the public library, knowing you had never been there and wanting to explore a new world. It was a couple of blocks away so you had to take the bus.

———

Steve and Robin were driving around their new neighborhood, looking for their new apartment. They were singing the songs on the radio, even if Robin didn’t know most of them because her music taste was original. But Steve knew every one of the trendy songs.

They stopped at a red light. Robin got distracted by two dogs ‘kissing’ each other. Steve looked away with a face of disgust, and that’s when his eyes fell on you.

He wasn’t sure if it was his imagination, were you really there? Was he hallucinating? Maybe the smell of coffee is doing some damage to his brain.

But it was you, wasn’t it? without the signature choker, without the thousands of bracelets, and without the red lipstick always staining his shirts. Then it wasn’t you. You had glasses now, a gold chain around your neck, and your hair was slightly lighter.

The bus blocks his view; he wants to scream at it to move, and when it does, you disappear—or the hallucination he had of you disappeared—the honk of the car behind him makes him jump, the green light is on, and he has to move.

“Steve! Are you okay?” Robin shouts, scanning Steve’s face. He looks pale, confused, and scared.

“I think I just saw a ghost,” he says, looking over Robin and then the road ahead.

“You are only nervous, the apartment will be good, don't worry. If they scam us, we have Chrissy to defend us in court.”

“Yeah, stop it lovebird. We are here.”

The apartment buildings look so tall, almost intimidating. Steve drives around looking for the parking lot, and when he finds it, he and Robin take a moment to process it.

"I'm scared too, but we should go in. The moving truck will be here, and we will have a lot to do,” Robin says, taking Steve’s hands and giving them a light squeeze. “We got this”

“Yeah, we should go in now.”

They go over to their apartment, meet their landlord, and get their keys. The moving truck comes a couple of hours earlier, and they move in their new stuff after cleaning the apartment.

A couple of empty boxes and a lot of wrapping paper later, they are done. They only need the heavy couch.

“Even if I help you, we won’t be able to do it”

“I know! I’m thinking”

Steve and Robin are stressed now. Steve’s hair is disheveled already, and Robin’s mascara is smudged around her eyes. They had a long drive, and now they are so tired of getting the apartment ready.

“We should just knock at our neighbors. Their screams stopped.”

“Yeah, I should buy new headphones for that.”

He points in the hallway. Robins walks out of the apartment and knocks on the door. After a few knocks, the door opens, and Steve joins them.

“Steve? You are Nick’s friend, right? I saw you with him the other day,” a guy asks, introducing himself as Eric.

“Uhh yes, Nick! Nice to meet you."He shakes his hand. “This is Rob, my friend.”

“Nice to meet you!” Eric says, “This is my..."

“I’m Diana, nice to meet you guys,” she waves at them.

“So, we need help moving on our couch. Could you help us?” Robin asks.

“Please, we are a great team, but that couch is very heavy,” Steve says. “What if you help us, and we invite you to eat some pasta? I saw a new Italian restaurant a few blocks away.

“Sure, we can help!” Diana says.

The four of them carry the couch with ease into Steve and Robin’s apartment, they thank their new neighbors, and they all high five, looking proud of themselves.

“Thank you again, guys, we should go. I'm starving!” Robin smiles at them, and they all nod but Diana.

“Can I invite my friend? She can meet us there,” Diana asks. They all nod, but Eric.

“No way! She hates me,” he says, shaking his head, taking Diana’s hand, and stopping her from going into their apartment.

“I told you it would take time. She is protecting me,” she says, dragging Eric with her into her apartment. “We will see you guys in a minute.”

“Sure, take your time,” Steve says. Their neighbors leave and shut the door behind their backs.

When they are gone, he wraps his hands around Robin’s neck. He looks over the apartment and smiles.

“We made it,” he says.

“We made it!” She says back, hugging his waist and rubbing his back.

They break the hug after a few minutes, looking over the almost finished apartment. There’s some stuff left to unpack.

“Wait for Chrissy to see this, she is going to love it.”

“Is she coming? Tomorrow?” Steve asks, looking at his friend and her lovesick smile.

“Yes! I think I'll finally ask her the question"

“Already? Isn't it too soon?”

“Dingus, when you know, you know. Life is short, we can’t lose time stressing over everything,” she says, rubbing his shoulders. “You will find someone, maybe not, you know who, or maybe you will. Let time choose.”

He knew Robin was talking about you. Even if Steve moved on and got his shit together, he was still missing you and the part of him you took with you. No matter how many dates he had, how many times Hopper talked to him. He wanted you, something far from impossible.

“You should write that on a note and put it in the fridge." They both laugh. "I'm very proud of you.”

“Don’t make fun of me, or you will lose your best man spot. I will give it to Eddie.” Robin gets a napkin out of a box and cleans her mascara.

“Hey! Who used to drive you everywhere and still does?”

“I'm joking!”

“I know,” he says, giving her a pat on the back. “Good luck with your proposal.”

“I still need a ring, not all of us carry our grandmother’s rings everywhere we go.”

“Shut up! I'll help you get a ring.”

“Yes!”

They high five again, and they hear knocks on the door. They see their neighbors again.

“My friend isn’t coming, I think she is with her boyfriend. But we can go now!”

“Yay! Sorry about your friend."Robin gets closer to Diana, leaving Steve behind with Eric.

“Aren’t you together?” he asks.

“No, we are friends. Platonic with a capital P!” Steve replies, walking to the door and joining the girls.

“Cool, maybe you can date Teddy and smooth the anger out of her,” Eric says.

“Teddy?” Steve asks, walking to the parking lot.

“Oh, Di’s best friend,” he says, pointing at Diana. “She has this weird ass white teddy bear, and since then, I call her Teddy.”

“Oh, funny,” Steve says. A weird white teddy bear? No, no, it can’t be. His heart pounds harder against his chest, and he gets back to that night. The diner, the flowers, the beanie baby, and then someone who looked like you at the bus stop.

This can’t be real, he won’t get his hopes high again.

“Are you okay, man? You look scared,” Eric asks Steve, stopping him after he puts the key on his BMW. “Can you drive?”

“Yeah, I can. Don’t worry,” Steve says, his free hand over his chest. “It’s just something that happens.”

“He sees ghosts!” Robin shouts, making everyone laugh.

“We should walk guys, it isn’t that far,” Diana adds.

“Yeah, we could use some fresh air,” Robin says.

They all walk to the restaurant, enjoying a fun night. All of them get the feeling they’ll be close, but tonight they treat each other as strangers. Not sharing all but funny stories and college adventures.

———

When Diana gets home, you are already there, she walks over to the couch to wake you up and help you get to bed.

“Did you talk to Jake?”

“He picked me up from the library, we didn't-"

“Another time will come."

You hum, walking with her to your room. She closes the door, and you walk towards your bed, put your pajamas on, and slip into bed. You try to sleep, trying to keep all the midnight-crushing thoughts away, with the BMW in the parking lot on your mind, it looks very familiar.

———

It’s only 8 a.m, and you sit at home, eating your oatmeal bowl with strawberries, bananas, and a cup of coffee you’ve made yourself. You point to the cup you made for Diana, it has been sitting there for a few minutes. Maybe she wanted a cold brew instead of a nice hot cup.

“One is Rob, and the other... I don’t remember.”

“Di! You are really bad with names.”

“Are you sure you don’t want ice on your coffee?” you joke.

“No, and yeah, I was a little stoned too, that’s why I don’t remember well.”

“That’s always going to cost you, babe.”

“I know, but I can introduce them later! We are all going to a party, and Rob will pick us up after work because the girl had to see her girlfriend.” She chugs her cup of coffee and puts her jacket on.

“Are you sure his name is Robert?”

“No, it’s Rob!” She still looks unconvinced, but you leave it. “Anyway, is Jake picking you up?”

“I don’t know, we aren’t really on speaking terms.”

Jake was your boyfriend a couple of weeks before he asked you for a break, and you haven’t “fixed it." He picked you up from the library yesterday, and the whole ride home was quiet and uncomfortable, but something tells you it isn't going to last.

“Call him! He is good for you.”

“I’m not sure about that, but I’ll see you later then.”

“I’ll see you later, babe!”

“Be careful!”

———

You finish washing the dishes and go back to your room to get ready for the party. Minutes later, Diana and Eric show up to drive you to the house. It’s the first party of the semester, and everyone seems pretty excited about it except you. You know if you see Jake again, he will probably break up with you, rip off the band-aid, and go to the girl who has been hanging out with him at the gym.

But you go, not wanting to miss out and excited to see some of your friends who arrived in town. It might not be the best night, but at least you’ll have a cup of cranberry juice with vodka to survive.

You arrive at the party early, not wanting to talk to anyone, yet you get closer to the table in the middle of the dining room and make yourself a cape cod. When it’s done, you get to the living room and sit on the couch, watching as people come over, and some of them wave at you and say hi before going for their drink.

Jake arrives with a girl by his side, He gets closer to her ear to whisper something, and she turns around as he walks to you.

“Can we talk?”

“You are going to break up with me, aren’t you?” You pinch your eyebrows together.

“Let me explain.”

He sits on the arm of the couch you are sitting on, so close to you. You can already hear his words muffling and how sorry he is about all of it, making up excuses to let you know it’s not your fault he is doing this and the two of you should end your relationship now. Avoid telling the truth and spinning around the subject, reminding you of all the good moments but also all the fights and “breaks” you had.

You look at him through your eyelashes, your tears rolling down your cheeks. Your now ex-boyfriend pinches your chin with his fingers, not letting your gaze fall to your lap or the cup you hold in your hand. He whispers “I’m sorry” thousands of times more, and you refuse to move, feeling the warmth of his fingers against your face for the last time. Then he leaves you alone to find his date, and you wish the earth could swallow you whole.

———

When Steve gets to the party with Robin and Chrissy by his side, he lets the two of them look for a place while he gets their drinks. The house is so tiny that everyone is squeezing each other and bumping into each other on the way to other rooms. Everything smells like alcohol and weed, and even the floor is sticky, but after all, Steve manages to get to the dining room and look for the red solo cups. He takes one and pours tequila into it. He drinks it, feeling the burn down his throat as he keeps his eyes closed. He needs more of these to survive the night.

He looks around, recognizing some people he used to see around in his first year, some of them are customers in the coffee shop he works in. When his head looks over to the living room, he sees the girl from the bus stop, the one who looks like you.

Steve gets even more confused as you chug your drink, the solo cup covering your face. He turns his head away from the view, even if it’s not you, his mind betrays him.

Where’s the real you? What are you doing right now? Do you have a boyfriend? A girlfriend? A child? A cat? Are you married?

The question that hurts more is the one he used to think about almost every night. Would he see you again?

He tries to enjoy the party as soon as he sees the girl leave. He misses watching Diana run after you and try to comfort you.

Your friend takes you home, and Steve stays until the party is over, and he is a bit more sober to take Robin and Chrissy back to their apartment.

———

“Robin? Why did you leave so soon?” Steve asks Robin over the phone, while he tosses empty boxes and bags around.

“We are getting you breakfast! Jesus, what’s your problem?”

“I’m hungover, and I forgot I have to send this email before twelve, but I can’t find my laptop charger, and I can’t find yours either!”

“Shit, I took mine because Chrissy needed my laptop, but I'm sure yours is in your room. We unpacked everything.”

“Fuck! I’ll call you back.”

“Ask Diana for one!”

Stressed out, Steve hangs up the phone before listening to Robin’s last words. Of course, he can ask his neighbor for a favor, and he knows Diana is nice.

He gets out of his apartment, and a few steps later, he gets in front of the door. He knocks a lot of times to get Diana’s attention, or maybe Eric’s. Steve doesn’t remember if they got back here from the party, but it’s worth trying.

As the door opens, he takes a step forward. “Hey! My laptop charger broke, and I have to send this very important email-" He takes a deep breath, not believing who is in front of them. “What-”

“It’s you,” he whispers, feeling a knot in his throat and rubbing his clammy hands together.

“It’s me” You rub your eyes one more time, getting rid of the blur on your eyes from being woken up. “Steve?” Your heart starts to beat against your chest so fast that you swear it’s hurting you.

Steve stares at you, it’s like the first time he saw you all those years ago. He didn’t believe in love at first sight until he felt his body giving up and just yearning for you. He feels it all again, you look even more beautiful than before, but with your signature heavy gaze.

“I'm sorry if I’m interrupting, I can just...“

“No? no. Uh, come in, let me find my charger.”

This is not how you imagined seeing him again. The last time you dreamt about him, you were seeing him for the first time at the Hawkins airport, You ran to him, and he caught you in his arms, kissing every inch of your face. And now, with your heart beating faster than ever and your feet carrying you to your room, you can’t help but feel like you are having a nightmare.

You hurry up, find your charger, and run back to Steve.

“Here, you can keep it. I have two of them,” you say. He still looks at you with his mouth slightly open and his eyes studying every part of your face.

Keep it. He knows you are doing this because you are nice, but a part of you still recognizes all the love you once had for him. Or have, because it never faded away. It’s still your Steve, slightly older and with a confused expression on his face.

He takes the charger from your hands, your fingers touching him for a couple of seconds. When you finally lock eyes with him, you can see his glassy eyes while yours look the same. He didn’t want to believe it was you, you were so close all this time.

“I thought i’d never see you again,” you whisper, almost inaudible, but he can hear it. As if its ears were trained to hear even the lowest tone of your voice.

But the air feels tense, awkward. He doesn’t say anything, and you stand in front of him like before, frozen in your place as a wave of anxiety washes you over. You stare at each other, trying to avoid all these feelings rushing through your veins.

“I need to send this email, I’ll be right back.”

He goes back to his apartment, leaving you and your overwhelming feelings alone. You close the door to your apartment and take some time to process everything. Steve is here, your Steve. The boy you once called the love of your life, the only boy you’ve ever loved.

You weren’t sure you were going to see him again. You gave up on it a few months ago, knowing it would take a miracle to see him again. And he was so close to you all this time.

When you hear the knock on the door again, you open it faster this time. Steve stands up in front of you, watching your tears roll down your cheeks. He wraps his arms around your body, hugging you so tightly as if you were going to disappear. Your arms hug his torso, letting your head fall against his chest for a second before your sighs turn into sobs.

“I can’t believe it’s really you,” Steve whispers, convincing himself to not let you go. He fears the alarm will go off and he will have to wake up from his dream.

“I know, it feels like a dream, please don’t let go,” you say, as if you were reading his mind all this time.

“I won’t”

Steve rests his chin on your head, letting his own tears fall. You stay in the hug for a long time, feeling his warmth against your body, and his arms push you closer to him. You dig your fingers in his back, wanting to feel him more and wishing for this not to be some sick joke.

He places one of his hands on your head, kissing your forehead, before leaning back and searching for your face.

“Hi,” you say as you look at him, tears on his face just like yours.

“Hi,” he smiles, slightly. You do the same, looking at every inch of his face. Remembering all the moles your mind seemed to forget with the time.

You admire each other, letting your mind take you back to Hawkins and all those years you spent together.

“I missed you so much,” he says, slicing the awkward silence with a knife, now rubbing your back and trying to get you relaxed. As your sobs stop, you let go of him and invite him inside.

“I missed you too.” You smile again. The inches separating you are killing you, but there’s too much to say and feel.

“You stopped calling,” Steve says, with a sour tone in his voice you’ve never heard before.

“The phone works both ways.” You bite back, crossing your arms in front of your chest. Protecting you from what’s coming.

“I-” Steve mutters, avoiding your eyes and looking all over the room.

“You? What? Did you forget about me?” you ask. “We made a promise.”

The mix of feelings that sit right at the top of your chest starts to reveal themselves. It’s all so confusing, and you weren’t prepared for this. You want to blame him for the time lost, but you know it’s also your fault.

“Why are you bringing this up right now? I saw you for the first time at a fucking bus stop and thought I was going crazy. It’s too much!”

Steve feels relieved; his mind wasn’t betraying him, and he wasn’t going crazy. It was really you—the new you.

“Just say the truth. You didn’t answer my call when I got into college or when I moved in.”

“You called?”

“I called your house since you didn’t reply to my texts or emails. No one answered.”

“I got into a fight with them, and I moved in with Hopper. I was having a hard time, I’m sorry.”

He confesses. You see the way his lips turn into a pout, his tears threatening to fall again.

“What happened?”

“I messed up, had to retake a year.”

"Oh,” it’s the only thing you can think of. Some things made sense, but you still had a lot of questions.

“I didn’t tell you because I was embarrassed and so disappointed in myself. No one heard about you, or your family, so I thought you didn’t want to see me, and I had the feeling you were fine without me.”

“We had to move again, two times. But this is the college of our dreams, I didn’t see you here the first year. I thought you chose a different one.”

“You know me, I don’t break promises.”

He looks back at you again, it takes everything in him not to walk to you and kiss you. It takes everything in you to not do the same.

“Listen, I have an interview today, but can we have dinner? I still have a lot of things to say, a lot of things to ask, and it’s been so long.” you blur out.

“Sure, I have a shift at the coffee shop, so I’ll see you at seven?”

“Yeah, that’s okay, Where do you work?” you ask, suddenly shivering. It’s really him, this isn’t a dream.

“In a coffee shop that’s on Main,” he replies, “I know you never go there, I would’ve seen you.”

“I’ve been busy.”

Right. Diana mentioned a boyfriend. His heart suddenly stops, fearing that he is seeing you again just to lose you again.

“I know,” he says, resting his hands on his hips, looking around the room to avoid your eyes again. “Good luck on your interview.”

“Thank you, good luck on your shift." You can feel the awkwardness coming back, the uncomfortable silence threatening to come back. “I’ll see you at seven!”

“I’ll pick you up here,” he says, You can only nod before he turns his back on you.

"Stevie,” you say. He is about to open his front door when he hears your voice again.

“Yes?” he says, turning his head slightly to see you. He missed that nickname, you are the only one who calls him like that.

You want to keep talking and confessing your true feelings right now, but you have things to do. He is more important than everything else, you got him back, you don’t want to waste time.

“Say hi to Robin for me.”

He nods, then walks into his apartment. You close the door of yours once again.

Fear and excitement occupy most of your brain right now. You are praying for him to still want you, to love you back as much as you've loved him this whole time. Being his best friend would be a great start, but being back to be his love sounds even better.

IV. You are the best thing that's ever been mine.

Steve paces around his apartment, Robin and Chrissy are back, and they watch him mumble something under his breath.

“Everything will be fine, you will talk to her and get back together,” Robin says.

“What if she has a boyfriend? What if she is in love with someone else?”

“You can always steal her away, Robin did that to me." Chrissy joins the conversation.

They have been talking about you for hours. Steve decided to exchange his shift and stay home while Robin was taking her day off. He was too distracted to go to work today.

“Dingus. Stop it! You are making me dizzy." Robin gets up, reaching for Steve’s hands and making him look at her. “You’ll see her when she is back, you are going to take her to that restaurant and talk like the adult you are. Okay?”

"Hot,” Chrissy blurs out.

“Thank you, sweetheart." Robin looks at her and winks.

“Gross, get a room, you two!” Steve’s disgusted face makes both girls laugh.

“You can do it, dingus. You’ll get her back.”

“I’m not sure if she feels the same or if I feel the same.”

“Didn’t you say she hugged you so tight you almost ran out of breath? That’s a good sign.” Robin’s hands travel to Steve’s shoulders, shaking him up and trying to wake him up from whatever nightmare he is making up in his head.

“And don’t start. You’ve been rejecting girls, having failed dates, and looking like a lost puppy whenever you see a girl that looks slightly like her. You two are still in love, from what you tell me and from what I feel.”

“You are right, I'm still in love with her. But it’s been a long time. I changed, she changed too.”

“Changes are good, I know it because it was hard for me to accept the real me, but I took that step because I wanted to be free,” Robin confesses, stopping Steve from giving up. “Talk. Try. You met again for a reason, don’t let that go to waste.”

Steve nods. “What would I do without you?” He hugs Robin for a minute before hearing some voices in the hallway. He hears the front door open and close, which means you and Diana made it home.

“You’ll be lost without me! Good luck, dingus.”

“Go get your girl, Steve!”

Steve walks to your door and knocks, to his surprise, Diana opens the door.

"Hi,” he says nervously. “Is she here?”

“Yeah, she will be ready in five.”

"Alright,” Steve says, his hands clammy again, and he finds himself shaking.

“So, you are the guy she has been talking about nonstop.”

“I guess yes,” he replies, feeling his heart racing again. You’ve talked about him.

“Good for you,” Diana says, before you step in.

"Hi,” you say, looking at Steve again. You find this odd, but you are thanking whatever it was that brought him to you again.

"Hi,” he replies, his gaze heavy on you as he takes everything in. Your soft voice, the sweet smell of your perfume.

“Home by ten!” Diana jokes, making you laugh and shake off the anxiety that took over your body.

You walk away from the apartments, with Steve by your side. He glances at him from time to time, and you do the same.

“How was your shift?” you ask him, trying to get rid of the awkward feeling that washes over you again.

“I didn’t go. Too distracted for it,” he says, looking over at you as you walk to the parking lot. “How was your interview?”

"Good,” you sigh, not wanting to ramble about it at this moment. “I hope I get the job.”

“You will, you can do anything,” he says when you reach his car, noticing it looks the same way as before.

Nothing has changed, just time. Everything feels the same, like it froze, letting time pass over it without a single consequence.

Steve looks at you, his brows knit in a frown, and he is almost chewing his lip.

“If you want to ask something, just do it,” you say, making him shiver. “I know you, maybe not so well anymore, but I do.”

“What if your boyfriend sees us?” he asks.

A chuckle falls from your lips, shaking your head and pushing the hair out of your face.

“I don’t have a boyfriend, he broke up with me yesterday, and I saw it coming. I’m over it.”

“Oh, do you want to talk about it? We can stay at home, i can leave you alone, and we can reschedule our dinner because i don’t want you to feel like you.”

“I’m still in love with you,” you interrupt, confessing. With a soft look in your eyes, Steve gets lost in them. “I’m sorry, I can't waste any more time. I need to get this out of me. I’ve been looking for you in everyone, everywhere. You are here, and you look the same, I know time has passed, but I believe my love for you has kept you exactly as I remember you.”

Steve doesn’t know what to do, the truth is, he has been waiting to hear those words for a long time. He has been waiting to see you, to hug you, and to kiss you.

“I’m still in love with you too,” he says, running his fingers through his hair, pushing his golden locks back. The sun is setting completely, and you can still see how it shines. “I never got over you, I was forced to move on because i felt like I didn’t deserve you. And I never wanted us to fall apart, I needed you all this time.”

He gets closer to you, his chest almost bumping into yours. He hesitates to kiss you in the moment, even to touch your hand. The setting reminds him of the last time he saw you, your last night at Hawkins.

“If you want, we can try to make up for the lost time and give it another try.”

“I’d love that.”

He gets closer now, with your confession turning into an invitation. Steve places both of his hands on your cheeks, rubbing the soft skin with his thumbs. It takes you back to that night, it feels like you are relieving that moment just to make it right this time.

“Baby-” he is so close to your lips, his words tingle your lips, and you never stop looking into his eyes. Those sweet brown eyes you missed so much.

“I’ve missed that, honey." He laughs at the nickname, but it still makes him shiver and smile like a little kid.

“And I’ve missed you, kiss, please?”

Steve nods, pressing his lips against yours. It’s a soft, slow kiss. You can feel the breeze of the cold night on your face as you flush when Steve leans his head to the side to trap your bottom lip between his lips to taste you. You close your eyes, savoring the moment. One thing you forgot and cried for every night was this.

His warm lips against yours, his taste. His hands squeeze your cheeks as you press your body against his.

It’s the first kiss since that night, two years have passed, and this still feels so familiar. So safe. The kiss is even sweeter thinking of all the time you’ve dreamed about this, of all the unspoken feelings you communicate to each other with everything your lips brush.

When air is needed, you lean your head back a bit. You giggle at the same time, and he places a kiss on your forehead. Happiness takes over you, it feels like floating.

“I still have that beanie baby, you know?”

“I do, Teddy.”

“Don’t call me that!” You hit his arm slightly, and he chuckles while rubbing his arm dramatically.

“It’s cute, it suits you,” he says, leaving a peck on your lips, resting his hands on your hips this time.

“It’s ridiculous!” You scrunch up your nose, and he leans in to smooth it off with a kiss. “Let’s go eat, I’m starving.”

“Only if my dessert is going to be this sweet girl, the universe got back to me,” he says, picking you up, his arms hugging your waist. You can feel your feet dangling in the air. You tangle your arms around his neck so you don’t fall when he spins you around.

“Yes, yes, I'll be your dessert!” You giggle as you feel his lips on your cheeks, and when he stops, you peck his soft cheeks back. “In which house?”

“Oh, I don’t know, it depends on how loud you are.”

“Stevie!” Your cheeks glow red, and he laughs at your sudden flushed face.

“I’m joking! we‘ll figure it out later." He doesn't stop hugging you, even when he puts you down, your feet are now touching the concrete of the parking lot.

“Which one?” you ask, teasingly. Trying to hold back the giggle that is about to escape your lips.

“Both!” Steve says.

You get back in his car, and he proposes the idea of repeating everything you did that last night but with a different ending. You find a nice diner, not as nice as the one outside Hawkins,but it does the job. The old jukebox is there to dance after you eat burgers and fries and you end up stealing his cherry again.

When he picks up the sun, you get up from the booth where you are sitting and run up to him. One of your arms rests around his neck, and the other hand is holding your hand. He interlocks his fingers with yours while his free hand sits on your waist. He pushes you to his chest, the closest he can get you to him, and you start to sway around the checkered floor of the diner. Dancing like nobody's watching, again.

“You are the best thing that’s ever been mine, baby." He sings along with the song before kissing you again.

“I’ve always been yours, honey”

This night is even more magical than the last one, and you’ll have tons of them.

tags: all @munsonology @emistrash @livsters @paybacksawitch @ali-r3n @keeksandgigz @babybatlover @fanfictionlover277353 / steve @stveharringtn @double-vision-in-a-rose-blush

please please reblog to support your creators! comments are appreciated !! my ask is always open if you have any feedback. thank you so much for reading ♡

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daisynik7 · 2 months

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cw: f!reader, smut - cunnilingus, face-riding - MINORS DO NOT INTERACT

Author's Note: I wrote a quick little something for Valentine's Day! Enjoy! Back into my dilapidated castle I go lol. Divider credit to the amazing @/cafekitsune.

“Happy Valentine’s Day, baby!” Ino greets you happily, holding a large bouquet of red roses in one hand and a heart-shaped pizza in the other.

“We said no gifts this year!” you pout, pretending to be upset that your amazing boyfriend got you something anyways.

He steps towards you, sliding his hands to your waist, grinning as he places a soft kiss on your forehead. “Aw, are you mad?”

You shake your head. “No…but I feel guilty. I didn’t get you anything.”

He chuckles, wrapping his arms around you in a sweet embrace. “I don’t need anything else. Everything I need is right here.”

You peer up at him innocently. “You mean it?”

“Of course I mean it,” he smiles, nuzzling his nose to yours.

You sigh, really playing this whole act up. “Well, I did get something for Valentine’s Day. But for me, not for you.”

He crinkles his nose at you, confused. “Huh?”

“Wait for me on the couch. Let me go get it,” you instruct him, leaving him even more bewildered while you retreat into your bedroom, shutting it closed.

He waits for you patiently, shrugging his beanie off as he rests his head against the back of the couch. When he hears the door creak, he peeks with one eye open, then stands up immediately with his full attention piqued, watching you strut towards him in the sluttiest set of lingerie he’s ever seen on you. Red lace that’s mostly sheer, woven together in what is barely a pair of bra and panties, considering how much of your bare body he can see right through it. You give him a coy smile, tipping his chin up to close his mouth, which has been agape since he laid eyes on you. He swallows hard. “Holy shit,” he says, licking his lips, salivating.

“Do you like it?” you tease him, placing his hand on one of your breasts.

Brushing his thumb over your nipple, he nods dumbly, the erection in his sweatpants very obvious now.

You giggle, grazing his ear with your mouth. “Maybe this can be a little treat for you too, don’t you think?”

Soon, you’re on top of him, straddling his face as he eats you out through the fabric. His lips are wet with spit, tongue wide and flat on your clit, slurping and sucking while he strokes his cock with his fist. With his free hand, he squeezes your ass cheeks, loving the way it feels in his firm grip. His gaze is always focused on you, his eyes half-lidded with lust, watching you moan his name with each orgasm. He loves being between your thighs, being smothered by your warm cunt. It’s enough for him to reach his own climax, hot cum pooling on his abdomen as he jerks himself fast until he’s drained of every drop. Even then, he doesn’t stop. He grabs your ass with both hands, making you ride his face deeper. He hooks his fingers around the panties, stretching it to the side, spreading his tongue all over your wet pussy, savoring the taste of you.

Both of you properly spent and satiated, you eat the now cold heart-shaped pizza together, cuddled on the couch. “You got this for me, didn’t you?” Ino finally realizes, mid-chew.

You laugh, kissing him on the forehead. “Happy Valentine’s Day, Takuma.”

#ino takuma #takuma ino #takuma ino x reader #takuma ino smut #takuma ino x you #ino takuma x reader #ino takuma smut #ino takuma x you #ino takuma fluff #ino x reader #ino x you #ino smut #jjk x reader #jjk smut

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planetbeanie · 10 months

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Beanie Baby old web dividers

#old web #beaniestory #beanie babies #beanie baby #ty beanie babies #kidcore #toywave #nostalgia #stuffed animals #90s toys #stuffies #y2k

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sweetestofchaos · 4 months

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let it snow | s.mg x reader

oh, the weather outside is frightful... let it snow! let it snow and snow!

❅ mingi x reader

❅ prompts: "looks like we're snowed in." + "maybe you could warm me up...?"

❅ wc: 1.1k

❅ warnings: pure fluff with a nice mix of smut - fem receiving oral - daddy!mingi

❅ a/n: written for Merry Chaosdays 1K Follower Event, requested by @minisugakoobies. sunny you are such a fucking doll and i love you so much! thank you for requesting my mans mingi, i haven't shown him any love in a while. i started to write this and forgot to turn on the word count...this almost got out of hand lol

❅ line, snow, mdni and support dividers made by @benkeibearn

❅ send in your own requests here

“Mingi I swear to God, if you don’t hurry the hell up-” You glance down at the shiny golden watch on your wrist and suck your teeth, “We’re going to be late!” You shout down the hall to your boyfriend.

You can hear him moving around in the apartment, taking his sweet ass time like his mother won’t chew your asses the moment you step out of the car. You love Momma Song, but that woman is deadly with her wooden spoon. Huffing in annoyance, you kick off your shoes and stomp into the apartment, ready to drag Mingi out the door by the ear if you must. Just as you make it to your shared bedroom, Mingi steps out with one hand wrapped around the door handle. You shout in surprise and Mingi giggles as he grabs you around the waist.

“Easy, baby. Don’t want to hurt yourself, hum?” Mingi stares down at you through a pair of brown glasses and you can feel your face heating up. From this angle you can clearly see the moles on his face. Mingi leans down and pecks your lips with a soft smile on his face, “Wanna take a picture?”

You suck your teeth and push Mingi away as he laughs. “Hurry the hell up! I’m not getting hit by your momma because you refuse to move faster!”

“I’ll protect you baby,” Mingi promises with a wink and you roll your eyes.

Pulling the bedroom door shut, Mingi grabs your hand and leads you down the hall to the front door. At the door, the two of you, put your shoes on and you fist the material of your white sweater dress as Mingi helps secure a pair of fluffy white earmuffs over your knotless box braids. Mingi helps you into your faux fur coat and pulls a thick white cardigan over his white turtleneck sweater.

Holding up his keys, Mingi smiles as he unlocks the door, “I already started the car and the seat warmers are on.”

“I love you,” You mutter with a shiver knowing that it is about to be freezing outside.

Mingi pulls open the door and all you see is a frozen sheet of white. You blink and Mingi frowns, “What the fuck?” He reaches out to poke at the snow and you snatch his hand.

“Aht! Haven’t you seen those videos online? Do not touch it and shut the door!”

Mingi shuts the door and rubs the back of his neck, “Um…looks like we’re snowed in.”

“I’ll check my email. You should call your momma.”

Kicking off your boots, you paddle into the living room and plop down on the couch. As you scroll through your email, sure enough there is one from maintenance stating that your floor and a few others are snowed in due to a sudden ice storm and people are working on getting everyone’s doors unblocked. You can hear Mingi on the phone with his mother and you are so happy that you are not the one breaking the news to her. The party isn’t until two days from now but you were supposed to spend time together before the rest of the family showed up.

Hearing Mingi sigh, you watch as he comes into the living room, pulling the white beanie hat off his head. His hair is sticking up crazy and you smile. “Well since we’re stuck here until someone breaks us out maybe you could warm me up…?”

Mingi raises an eyebrow as you pluck your earmuffs off, toss them on the floor and peel your jacket off; flopping back on the couch and spreading your legs a little to give him a peak at the blue panties underneath your dress. Licking his lips, Mingi nods his head and shoves his cardigan off before he crosses his arms over his waist and pulls his turtleneck off right after. Standing at the edge of the couch in just his white slacks with his glasses skewed, you crook your finger and widen your eyes.

“Warm me up, daddy, please?”

Crawling onto the crouch, Mingi sits on his knees between your legs and grabs your ankle. You muffle as moan as he kisses his way up your leg and nibbles on the sensitive skin of your inner thigh. “I’ve wanted to fuck you since I saw this dress laying out on the bed.”

“Yeah?”

Mingi’s hands are warm, heating your exposed skin as he pushes your dress up to bunch at your waist. He says nothing as he peels your panties off and tosses them over his shoulder.

“Come on my tongue twice and I’ll give you a gift early.”

Your eyes brighten at the promise and you nod your head. Mingi chuckles and settles himself on his stomach between your legs before he dives in. Your back arches as his lips wrap around your clit. He sucks lightly, teasing the heated skin with his wet tongue.

“F-Fuck! Mingi daddy, please! W-Wanna come for you.”

“Take what I give you, baby.”

“Yes, d-daddy…” You throw your head back as Mingi continues to eat you out. His large hands, hold your hips down, stopping you from humping his face. So, you tangle your fingers in his hair, messing it up even more. Mingi hums against you and the vibrations ripple throughout your body. You can feel your pleasure building and you know it’s only a matter of time before you are tipping over the edge and falling into Mingi’s world. Sweat collects at your temples and you aren’t even worried about your edges. You can fix them later.

Your thighs clench around Mingi’s head and he’s slurping so loud, even as you cry his name, gushing into his greedy mouth. He doesn’t stop, sliding one hand downward to play with your swollen clit. It pushes you into your second release and Mingi hisses as he drowns in you.

“That’s a good girl. Give it to me, baby.”

You see stars at your vision spots and when Mingi pulls away you are both panting. He wipes his mouth with the back of his wrist and settles into your arms. He makes sure to keep his weight off you, cuddling into your side as you catch your breath. Your head hurts a little from the back to back release but you feel good. A gooey fog is blanketing your mind and the warmth of Mingi’s lips on your temple is grounding.

“It’s still early, baby. Nap and we can go again when you wake up.”

“What about you?”

“We have all day from the looks of it,” Mingi whispers as his hand starts to massage your thigh. You snuggle into his chest and kiss his Adam's apple. He laughs and hugs you, “Sleep.”

#mingi x reader #mingi smut #mingi fluff #merry chaosdays event #1k followers event #sunny sunshine ☀️#fic: let it snow

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animatedglittergraphics-n-more · 11 months

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source: 1 / 2,3 / 4‐7 (f2u w cr) / 8

requested by anon

#my asks #anon #shark request #beanie baby #shark stamps #shark dividers #page dividers #line dividers #separators #divider #transparent #archives #webcore #gifcities #flashing #eyestrain #shark header #640x360 #dividers

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apple-piety · 2 months

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So, not even a week after resuming my veiling practice, I experienced discrimination. I don’t wish to recount the experience to save my emotional energy, but I do want to go into why I’m glad I had this experience, and how it encourages me to continue.

Firstly, I want to acknowledge the fact that my preferred approach to veiling does in fact make me resemble Muslim women. And because of this, I want to give a heartfelt thank you to Muslim women worldwide for setting the standard for others who find empowerment and comfort in modesty. As a white person, I have been aware of and sympathetic to the plight of Muslim women worldwide, but it’s different when it happens to you. It cements it. My heart aches for your strife and is full by your courage. This is one reason I’m glad for this experience. It strengthens my resolve and compassion. Thank you.

Another reason I’m glad for the experience, is because it reiterates why I want to veil in the first place. I live in Midwestern America. Our bodily autonomy is quickly being stolen from us. Our bodies are hyper-sexualized and spoken about as if all I’m good for is having babies that the government can raise as cattle for the capitalist machine. It’s a physical symbol of rejecting that. I get to decide how I look to others. I get to decide who gets access to my body, not just in a sexual manner but as a whole. For me, it’s a radical act of feminism. It feels as though the fibers in my headscarves and coverings are woven together in a greater tapestry of women worldwide. I can feel it with Muslim women, whom I do not share a religion with, but share something more important: kinship, and sisterhood. My threads are woven with the Muslim women in France who are fighting legislation for their right to be modest (that is batshit insane) and also with those victimized by western imperialism (which gave birth to the Taliban). The tapestry is worldwide, including Jewish women and their tichels, other pagans with their bandanas and beanies, even traditional Christian women who wear lace coverings. But modesty and autonomy reach beyond the gender divide so I have home in those who are also men, nonbinary, gender-fluid, two-spirit, and many others. It is community. It filters out many people who show their true intentions and beliefs, and makes it so much easier to cut through the lies and masks of people whose support is conditional.

I have always been modest and prudish and now I can celebrate it, instead of being “othered” by it. I feel as though it is a symbol of my devotion, but also a form of radical self-care that I celebrate myself.

It is Hera’s Crown.

It is Athena’s War Helmet.

It is Hermes’ Winged Helmet.

It is Eurybia’s Cloak of the Ocean.

It is Hades’ Helmet of Shadow.

It is Hestia’s Veil.

It is Zeus’ Crown.

It makes me feel godly and holy. It protects me. It invigorates me. It gives me confidence.

Khaire.

#pagan #paganism #hellenic deities #hellenic devotion #hellenic pagan #hellenism #hellenic polythiest #hellenic community #hellenic gods #veiling pagan #veiling #polytheist #hellenic polytheism #polytheism #muslim

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slafkovskys · 4 months

Note

pls more nolan charlotte homecoming i could acc cry over this fictional family

warnings: language, some angst

the detroit metropolitan airport was somewhere she had become all too familiar with over the last couple of months. charlotte bounces beside her, the pom on top of her beanie going wild as she did so, “where’s daddy?”

she hadn’t even told her that that was what they were here for, the little girl had put the pieces of that puzzle together all on her own. she led her daughter over to the board that displayed the flights and looked for nolan’s connection, on time. she grins down at charlotte, “he should be here soon, baby. why don’t we go wait for him?”

“okay, gotta hurry!” she tugged on her mom’s hand and the woman easily led them to where all of the international arrivals came through.

she bends down and points to the doors that nolan should be walking out of any second, “daddy’s going to be there, okay char? so you gotta help me watch for him.”

“gonna find daddy,” charlotte says determinedly, gripping the bars of the gate as she tries to shove her face through. mom pulls her back gently and the little girl giggles, “sorry.”

time seems to tick by slowly and even charlotte starts to become weary. mom goes to check her phone, maybe there was a delay at baggage claim that was holding him up? then she swears that she spots him. she doesn’t let charlotte catch on just in case she was wrong, but as she raises herself on her tiptoes, she realizes that she would know that stupid hat anywhere.

she bends down to swiftly pick up charlotte, pointing towards nolan, “there he is!”

she watches as a look of relief washes over nolan’s face as he comes around the corner and spots them. charlotte lets out a shout of, “daddy, we’re here!”

as soon as he’s through the doors, nolan breaks into a sprint to get to them. charlotte tries everything to break free of her mother’s grasp if that would get her to him faster just before he could wrap his arms around them both, the metal gate separating regular airport traffic from international arrivals still acting as a divider. she hears him take a deep inhale, “oh my god.”

“i missed you so fucking much,” mom breathes out and nolan chuckles, pulling away to press a kiss to her lips. “did you get taller?”

“i don’t think,” he grins, “c’mere, baby.”

he takes charlotte from her arms and she clings to him instantly. she raises an eyebrow, running her hand along his jaw, “where did it go?”

“i shaved it. did you like it?” tears threaten to spill from his eyes. she nods, a little pouty, and he presses a kiss to her cheek, “i’ll grow it out for you again.”

“you missed us, right?” the little girl questions just when they're out of earshot of her mother. she holds onto nolan’s arms as he balances her, a carry-on, and another suitcase during their quick trip around the barrier.

“baby, every day. every hour. you know your little bear that you got for me?” before he departed, mom got him a build-a-bear with charlotte’s voice in it. every time he would squeeze it, her little giggles preempt an ‘i love you daddy.’ she nods, kicking her little legs, “it goes on every road trip with me. i sleep with it every night. my teammates get tired of hearing it, but i don’t care.”

mom raises an eyebrow when they finally make it to her, “telling her about the bear,” nolan mumbles and she nods, rubbing her daughter’s back.

“why don’t we take daddy home, charlotte, and show him his surprise?” she offers and charlotte nods enthusiastically, placing her tiny hands on her father’s cheeks,

“you gotta see it, daddy!”

“well, what are we waiting for?” he questions as he sets her down to grab his luggage. charlotte refuses to hold mom’s hand, instead holding onto the leg of nolan’s sweatpants as they make their way out of the airport and to the car.

the entire drive home, charlotte is telling him stories about her friends at school, things she has coming up that week that she’s so excited he gets to be at too, and even how she felt her baby brother kick earlier in the morning. nolan hangs onto every word.

he grins when they pull into the driveway and sees a banner on the front porch that was obviously drawn and colored in by charlotte, reading ‘welcome home, daddy!’ he sees blue sitting on the stairs and when the cat sees him, he has the audacity to hiss before darting away. nolan rolls his eyes, the feeling was more than mutual.

charlotte drags nolan inside where balloons are scattered on the floor and there was even a cake on the kitchen counter. the little girl giggles as she sticks her finger in the frosting for a taste, “i helped.”

“did you?” nolan teases like he doesn’t see her messy initials scrawled at the bottom like a signature. his eyes follow mom as she makes her way into the kitchen, blue scrambling in behind, “so, what’s the plan?”

“you probably want to rest and then dinner?” she offers, leaning into his side.

“a nap with my girls sounds perfect.”

“i can’t believe that she’s let you out of her sight,” mom mumbles as nolan steps out onto the porch. he’s got two mugs in his hands, both steaming and she grins as he hands one to her, “or that you let her out of yours.”

“i’ve got a week with her. still won’t be enough time, but,” he takes a deep breath as he sits down beside her on the porch swing. that swing was what had made her fall in love with the house. as soon as they had toured the place just after their daughter was born, she couldn’t stop raving about how she could imagine them on that swing, drinking their coffee and watching charlotte in the front yard or running up the sidewalk from school. her dreams had nolan signing a lease the next day. “we need to talk.”

“yeah, we do,” she sighs. she allows him to grab her legs and situate them across his lap and she reclines slightly into the decorative pillow behind her.

“i had some time to kill on the plane,” he uses the hand not holding his mug to trace invisible shapes on her knee, a tell-tale sign that he was nervous, “it’s easier to have you, both of- all of you, with me if we’re married.”

she blinks slowly, trying to process everything that he just said, “married?”

“i looked into it, talked it over with some team personnel while i was waiting for my bags, they can help with your stuff. i work over there, they can get you and lotts over in a few months-”

“in theory, yes it’s a good idea, but i’m pregnant, nolan,” she stares at him, “you know how it was with charlotte and you didn’t even want me coming over there in case something happened on the plane. now you want me to move and then come back, what? three months later? i’ll be, like, seven months by then and i don’t think any doctor would have me stepping foot on a plane given my history-”

he interrupts, “so we stay until you have this baby, wait until you’re both okay to fly, and come back home.”

“honey,” she sighs, adjusting her body so you can be fully facing him. she reaches a hand out and grabs onto his hand, “that’s not how it works. we, this is too much right now.”

“what do you mean?”

“she couldn’t go to school the next day, nolan, because as soon as she woke up she started crying again, asking me if i was sure that you still loved her. i know that you being there is for your career and for us, but i can’t keep seeing her be hurt like this. she’s my daughter-”

“she’s my daughter too! how do you think that i feel watching her grow up through a phone and asking how many more sleeps she has until i can tuck her in again?” he tilts his head back, “what are you trying to say?”

“that i can’t keep doing this anymore, nolan.”

the words are like a knife through his chest. like everything he had done, everything he had worked for over the last five years was slowly starting to crumble around him and, no.

“i didn’t want kids,” he swallows, staring out over the porch railing to the neighbor's house, “especially not at twenty, but then there you were outside of my lecture hall that november with an attitude and a fire behind your eyes and it switched. i failed a big exam the day we heard her heartbeat for the first time because i couldn’t stop thinking about it, the little thumps, how that day marked me officially doing at least one good thing in my life.

“and then she was born and i was so fucking scared of this tiny human being with this big ass bow-hat-thing on her head-” mom can’t help but laugh through her tears, “but then she looked at me with your eyes. your eyes and my face and then you’re holding her and it hits me that we have a baby. i’m a dad, you’re a mom and we’ve got shit to do.

“and we’ve done that shit spectacularly. we’ve got a cool ass kid and we’re going to have another one soon, so if you think that i’m walking away from everything we’ve built, everything we’ve fought for over the last five years because of- what? an ocean between us now? fuck that,” he shakes his head, “when i got down on my knees in the laundry room that day and told you that i would never do anything to mess up what we had again, i meant that. we’re not going down like this. i’m not letting it happen.”

“i’m scared,” she whispers, “i need you, nolan. i’m trying to be strong for charlotte, for you, but i can’t keep doing it.”

“i know that,” he takes her into his arms and she holds onto his hoodie tightly, “we- i don’t know what to say. we’ve got a week to figure this out. please don’t give up on us, honey.”

“does your offer still stand?” she questions, head on his chest listening to the quiet thump of his heartbeat. he doesn’t answer immediately and she taps at his ring finger, “what does this little marriage scheme of yours involve?”

“oh- i, uh, well, you don’t even really have to go to the courthouse. you have to get a license, but you don’t have to wait for anything there. you could go down to the post office and have a notary sign it and boom, done deal,” he lets his feet steady the swing, “do you want to get married? it really was just an idea-”

“it would be nice to have the same last name as my kids,” she says thoughtfully, tilting her head up to look at the man, “besides, does five years and two kids mean nothing to you?”

“it means everything to me and i hope you would know that. besides, can i tell you a secret?” she hums and he grins, “there’s a ring in the top drawer of the dresser at my mom’s house. i’m sure i could get her to overnight it, if you’re serious.”

she nods, looking back out into the street, “make the call, moyle.”

#nolan moyle #baby moyle series #the inbox purge

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astranva · 2 years

Text

Backstage Girlfriend | Pt. 3

Pt. 1 | Pt. 2

This is divided into TWO endings for your liking!

Word Count: 3.9k

Category: Fluff, Angst

Warning: Strong language

Summary: In which Harry gets you back

AND

In which Harry realizes what he lost but it’s too late to do anything about it.

Scenario #1: Harry & Y/N get back together.

He couldn’t sleep.

Hell, if we were really talking, Harry couldn’t function at all.

Food tasted funny when you weren’t comfortable, the weather was never right, the bed was never welcoming, and you feel homesick even if you were home.

Harry carried the uneasy feeling everywhere he went after you left him. For three days, he let you take your time and had given you some space, even when he struggled to adapt to his space, environment and life without your presence.

“Call her, man,” Mitch said, leaning his arm behind Sarah who sat beside him, cuddling their sleeping baby.

“I can’t,” Harry mumbled, staring down at your number on his phone, his finger itching to press on it so he could hear your voice.

“For fuck’s sake, Harry,” Sarah whispered tiredly, “It’s been 3 days. You give it any more time and she’ll feel like you didn’t even fight for the relationship.”

“She looked–She looked done,” he said, looking up at them for a moment before looking back at his phone, “With me.”

“Well, you did hurt her,” Mitch mumbled shamelessly. Harry blew out a breath, closing his eyes momentarily, “What? You did,” his friend confirmed yet again.

Sarah nodded in agreement, “You did fuck up, H, I’m sorry.”

“Are you just going to make me feel worse?”

“Nah,” Mitch sighed, “You know that well yourself.”

“What am I supposed to do now?”

“End the shit with Olivia,” Sarah said, “Talk to Jeff. You don’t need this.”

Harry seemed like he wasn’t even listening to his friends and band mates. He was in his own little world, a million thoughts running through his mind that only had his anxiety trippling.

“Do you think she’ll hate me if I just–pop up? Like, at her work?” He asked them.

Mitch shrugged, “Don’t think it’ll get worse than where you are now.”

Sarah elbowed him, “I don’t think so but I think she’d be overwhelmed. Maybe text her first, ask if you can meet up.”

“I can’t just text her.”

“Well, you can’t just pop up at her work either.”

“Fuck,” he groaned, knuckling at his tearful eyes, “When did all of this happen?”

The couple stayed silent, looking at their friend as he scrolled through your pictures like an old lover would; reminiscing the time when all he cared about was not giving and receiving enough kisses from you.

He nursed a cup of tea, staying quiet and uncomfortable as his friends tried to cheer him up for two hours but in vain. It was like it was humanly impossible for him to think about anyone or anything but you.

God, he wished he could’ve taken by his friends’ advice because the moment Harry stood outside your office building, he was sure he could’ve thrown up on the side of it if it weren’t for the comfort mint candy in his mouth.

His sunglasses hid his swollen eyes, green beanie covering his head and oversized hoodie swallowing him whole with the baggy jeans he wore. Harry’s bottom lip was bruised from the way he kept biting down on it, knuckles white from the hard clench he had on his fists.

He felt like a joke.

Harry walked inside the building, reluctantly taking off his sunglasses before his eyes fell on the short receptionist.

“Jenna,” he addressed her with a fake, small smile.

“Harry!” The short girl greeted with her usual grin before it faltered, “Thank God you’re here,” she sighed, leaning forward a little as to be discreet with him, “You know anything about why Y/N’s been in that mood?”

His stomach fell, clearing his throat as to compose himself, “What mood?”

She shrugged, “Sad. Like really, really sad,” she answered, “Mike and I think she broke up with that boyfriend we know nothing about but,” she gave another shrug before sighing, “Asshole. Definitely didn’t deserve her anyway.”

He was officially a joke.

“Is she here? Y/N, is she here?” Harry asked.

“Yeah, mate. Just go in.”

The film production company was used to seeing Harry in their space.

It was no surprise to see him carrying lunch, sharing smiles and “hello”’s with everyone as he visited, whom they thought was his friend, you.

His skin felt hot and he felt like the air was thick as he stood outside your door, hyperaware of all his surroundings.

“Jesus,” he muttered to himself, taking a deep breath in before exhaling, “Get her back, you fucker. You fucking owe her.”

The knocks on the door were softer than the thumping of his heart, and when you gave a “come in!” he was sure that no beating drum could ever beat the intensity of his own heartbeats.

It was in that moment that he realized that he was empty-handed and he almost felt like running away.

But Harry opened the door slowly, eyes down as he took a step closer before he looked up at you.

Your breath hitched in your throat, your fingers going numb against your laptop’s keyboard as you froze in your seat.

“Can I come in?” He asked.

It took you a moment to reply.

Your eyes were on him; knowing him well enough to know that he was about to shit bricks and from the way his nose and lips were extra pink, you knew you were right.

You stayed quiet as you gave him a nod, tearing your eyes from him to look at your laptop screen in distraction, aware of his hesitant steps inside your office after closing the door behind him.

“Can I sit?”

He wanted to hear your voice. He wanted you to address him; look at him with care one more time. Anything to assure him that maybe you didn’t hate him.

But you gave him another nod instead.

Harry sat in the chair in front of your desk, fiddling with his fingers on his lap.

You nervously cracked your knuckles, suddenly feeling every molecule that composed air in your lungs.

“How are you?”

That seemed to make you crack.

You looked at him in disbelief, noting how he understood from your look that it was a stupid question to ask.

“Fuck, sorr–I’m sorry,” he quickly corrected, raising one hand to rub his eyes in frustration.

“What are you doing here, Harry?”

It wasn’t anything he wanted to hear but he would’ve been a fool if he hadn’t expected it, but at least you addressed him.

“I–” Harry paused, cursing himself in his head at how he felt like he was a deer in headlights, “I wanted–I want–” He paused yet again.

You gave him a look, crossing your arms on your desk as you did.

Harry let out a breath, “I just want us to fix this.”

“Ah,” you let out with a subtle nod of your head, “How do you think we can do that?” You asked him gently.

“We can–We–” He groaned, “Can you please not talk to me like that?”

“Like what?”

“Like I’m–It’s like I’m your client, bab–Y/N.”

You put your hands on your temples, closing your eyes for a moment, “You’re making this hard for me.”

“It’s already hard, Y/N,” Harry instantly said, “We’ve been together for 3 yea–”

“Were,” you corrected him, “We were together for 3 years and not a day went by where you felt like I was worthy of showing off.”

“That’s not true,” he shook his head, standing up to quickly approach you behind your desk, turning your chair and holding on to your arm rests, leaning down close to you, “That’s not true.”

“Yes, it is,” you almost scolded yourself for the state he put you through just by being close to you.

“I was a fucking twat,” he said, “I was wrong. I did you wrong, I admit it,” his tears tearfully confirmed his words, “But not once–not once did I do it because I don’t love you.”

You stayed quiet, looking down at your lap as your own eyes grew tearful.

“It’s taken me 3 days to know that I can’t fucking function without you,” he said, “But that night–When I was performing and I didn’t see you up there,” he took a breath, “Nothing made sense. When I saw you with your bag and–and when I saw your stuff not next to mine, that didn’t make any fucking sense either. Nothing makes sense without you.”

“How do I know you mean it, Harry?” You sniffled, looking up into his eyes, “What’s going to happen if I tell you that I love you too? You’re just going to hide me away an–”

“No,” he cut you off firmly, “I won’t. No more.”

“Yeah, good luck with Jeff.”

“Fuck Jeff, fuck my career, and fuck my life without you.”

You shook your head slightly, wiping your cheek, “Please be logical here.”

“I am being logical,” he said, “Y/N I–” He but his lip in thought, looking to the side before looking back at you, “Look, if you want me to get down on my fucking knees and–”

“Oh my God, Harry.”

“I would! I really would,” he said, “I’m not losing you, Y/N. I can’t.”

“Do you actually realize what happened? Do you–Do you realize why we broke up?” You asked him.

It felt like copper in his mouth the moment he heard you say that, almost like the two words had an unpleasant taste to them that he felt.

“I do. I reall–”

“Because I feel like you don’t,” you admitted, “You didn’t–Do you realize how it feels like to be with someone who believes being with you is bad for their image?” That was when your tears fell, “Do you know how it feels to–to have the person you love so much, whom you’d do anything for–have to see them with their arms and with their lips on someone who isn’t you? Do you realize how fucking awful it feels like to basically be told that you’re not enough for the person you love the most?”

Harry stayed quiet, looking down at your lap as he heard every word.

You sniffled, “You don’t. Because I would have never put you through that.”

He looked up at you, “I know–I know it feels like that but–” He shook his head, sniffling, “You’ll always be better than anyone can ever be.”

You stayed quiet but you shook your head in disapproval which made Harry reach to cup your face gently in his hands.

“You’re right for feeling all these things. I treated you like shit. I didn’t stand up for you when I should have done nothing but that–All this–All this is on me, but please,” he whispered, “Please, baby. Let’s try again. I didn’t do that shit because I don’t love you but I was stupid. I was so fucking stupid.”

“How do I know it’ll change?” You asked quietly, looking into his eyes as his thumbs softly caressed your cheeks.

“Find it in you to trust me,” Harry said, “Trust me enough to know I’ll fix this for you.”

“What about your relationship with Olivia? And Jeff?”

“First of, it’s not a relationship. It’s–It’s basically business–It’s–Just,” he shook his head, “Just don’t worry about it. Consider it done. Gone. No more.”

You stayed quiet but you leaned your face on one of his hands, only looking at him.

“I love you,” Harry said quietly, leaning closer to gently place his forehead against yours, “You. Only you.”

“I love you, too,” you said with a tearful chuckle, “You’re such an asshole, Harry.”

“I am,” he nodded with a small smile, “I was,” he joked, “But I love you,” he said again, pressing a soft kiss on your nose as he continued to caress your cheeks. “Can I kiss you?”

It wasn’t like you needed to think about it because you nodded the moment he finished asking his question, and it wasn’t like Harry needed to prepare for anything because he pressed his lips to yours in a kiss that almost screamed “welcome home”.

“No more hiding,” he said, “I promise.”

------------------------------------------------------------------

Scenario #2: Y/N moves on, but it’s not Harry and he can’t find it in him to not feel bitter.

“You never know what you have until is gone” is a statement that Harry wished he didn’t know.

Sure, it was a cliche for a reason–it was true, and Harry knew so, but he wished the phrase could go down to the lowest level of hell.

It’s been two days. I respect your space, and I want to give you all the time you need and deserve but please let’s talk. I’m sorry, I love you. H

I feel like a fucking pest. I’m sorry I called you, it was out of habit. I miss you and I hope you’re staying safe. I love you.

Saw these two dogs today while I was on a walk. I know you would’ve loved seeing them hug :) x

Congratulations on your cousin’s wedding, love. You looked beautiful. x

Gemma told me it was disrespectful of me to keep texting you. I’m sorry. You probably think I’m a let-down creep, and I don’t blame you for it. I don’t know if you get my flowers and I don’t know if you’ll be comfortable with us meeting although I think I might know the answer. I’ve hurt you and I will never forgive myself for it. You never deserved this, Y/N. You deserve the best of things because you are the most beautifully, kindest person I know and I can’t believe I had the privilege of being loved by you and I ruined it. I wish you a good life, one that you deserve and one that will do nothing but make you happy and secure in ways I never made you feel. I’m sorry, always. I love you, always.

Hiiiiiiiiii misssss youuuuuuuuuuuu sppp michhh!! Were ging tp be fine right?? Im wearng yoir prfume so I can smell likr you I looooove youuuuu xxxx

7 months passed.

7 months of no progress for Harry other than sheltering unpleasant feelings in his gut, allowing them to occupy the space of his body and to scream in his head. It was especially at nights when the screams got louder and louder, making Harry’s sleepless nights the factor of making him look like he had aged 5 years in the span of 7 months.

He watched you from afar and he hated it.

He went through your Instagram before going on stage, after leaving stage, on his way to wherever he was staying, before bed and the first thing in the morning. He went through your pictures together; ones you had always taken behind the privacy of closed doors and discreet places so no one knew you were the love of his life and him, yours.

He watched you post stories of your smiling face a month after the breakup; surrounded by your family and friends, looking like you were definitely going through something.

He watched you post the first picture of yourself looking all glammed up with a glow that screamed “I’m single!” two months later and he felt like a fucking hypocrite because he wanted to be happy for you. He wanted to feel like he was happy that you were out and about and not sulking in your room, but how could he when he knew he was, in no way, the reason behind that glow?

It was only a day after you posted a picture of yourself on your private Instagram when Harry noticed it.

You had unfollowed him.

And God, he hated the social media era so much because never mind that you hadn’t been answering his calls or texts, but then it all felt too real.

You wanted nothing to do with him.

Harry felt like a walking red flag. He felt like the most toxic person there is when he didn’t unfollow you back. He wanted to accept your decision to leave him out of your life, but every time he got a notification on his phone that you had posted a story or a post, he was always quick to watch and check. The both of you had turned on Instagram notifications for one another 2 years ago and he didn’t think he’d have the heart to turn them off.

It was ironic how during the time when he broke the love of his life’s heart–the time when they were no longer together, fans were going on about him and Olivia breaking up.

They had noticed his vibe, noticed his change of energy, and they noticed how he was different than the Harry Styles they had always watched and seen.

While some had speculated that it was his breakup with Olivia that caused that after their lack of interaction and presence, others speculated that things went south with the one friend they loved seeing of–you.

usertwitterhandle: Y/N unfollowed Harry on Instagram….

usertwitterhandle: Y/N, the only person to ever go out of the way to actually interact with us during shows is apparently not friends anymore with Harry. All men do is disappoint

usertwitterhandle: Y’all saying they were friends but it was so clear that there’s more…

And it went on for months.

Fans circulated multiple theories around for months, and while Harry’s social media presence was then limited to just you, he took notice of it.

It was the 8th month when he saw it.

usertwitterhandle: I’M SORRY BUT IS THAT Y/N HARRY’S FRIEND WITH JOE KEERY?????

usertwitterhandle: SHUT UP JOE KEERY’S NEW GF LOOKS SO CUTE AND THEY LOOK SO HAPPY

usertwitterhandle: isn’t she harry styles’s friend???? how did she even meet joe?

usertwitterhandle: y’all forget that y/n used to work as an art director for 21 laps entertainment production company which is stranger things’ prod. company

“Have you seen–” Harry Lambert paused mid-sentence, warily looking at Harry whose eyes were set on his phone with a deep-etched frown, “Is everything alright?”

Harry stayed quiet for a moment, looking at the picture again and again.

“Is this about Y/N?” Lambert asked, and Harry’s head instantly shot up to look at his stylist.

“You know?”

Lambert scratched his neck awkwardly, “Yeah,” he mumbled. Lambert, being one of the team, knew about yours and Harry’s relationship and although he despised Harry’s actions because he absolutely admired you, he stayed quiet.

“Do you talk?”

“Not really,” he shrugged, “We check up on each other every now and then. It’s always casual.”

“Did–” Harry took a breath to contain himself, “Did she mention anything about…?”

“A couple of times,” Lambert felt like he was snitching but it was the truth, “Just that she was seeing someone.”

Harry hummed, looking back at his phone.

And then, it was like the internet only cared about you and Joe.

usertwitterhandle: SHUT UP THEY LOOK SO IN LOVE AND SO HAPPY I’M SLEEPING ON THE FUCKING HIGHWAY TONIGHT

usertwitterhandle: happy 2 months anniversary since we found out about joe and his new gf y/n besties <333

usertwitterhandle: joe and y/n today omg

usertwitterhandle: THAT VIDEO OF JOE SINGING AND SMILING AT Y/N IN THE CROWD IS MAKING ME CRY

Harry consumed it all. He stared at every picture, watched every video, and not once did he feel fine or even as little as okay.

He watched Joe on stage, guitar around his shoulders as he sang with a genuine, happy smile on his face as his eyes were set you. He watched you look up at him, your hands clutched together on your heart, face glowing and beaming as you sang along with a sway of your body.

Drinking sucked. Drugs sucked. At that point, Harry was sure he needed somebody to knock him out to stop his thoughts.

It was one day when, what Sarah always called, his intrusive thoughts got to him.

Fly out and go to Y/N’s house, they said. Fly out and went to your house, he did.

God, he was stupid. He was many things, actually. He was hurt, he was bitter, he was so fucking jealous.

He was sorry.

His sunken face was no similar to your beaming one as you opened the door.

His heart fell when your smile faltered the moment your eyes met his.

“Harry,” you breathed out in surprise.

What was he going to say? “I’m sorry”? It was 9 months too late. “Forgive me”? You probably didn’t give two shits about him.

“Hey,” he let out and he almost scolded himself.

“What are you doing here?”

He hated that.

He hated how your voice was gentle with him. He hated that you didn’t look angry. He hated that your eyes didn’t tear up as his did.

He hated it because it made him realize that you moved on from him.

“I–” He paused, “I was actually coming to–” Stupid. Stupid. Stupid. “I don’t know.”

Did he mention that he hated how your eyes seemed to hold pity for him? In fact, that one was more than hate.

“Do you–Harry, you don’t look too good. Do you want to come inside?”

Fuck that, you really were past him.

He nodded though. He nodded because yes, he did want to go inside and be with you. He did want to be around you.

He stepped inside after you stepped aside, and his muscles almost seemed to relax.

Almost.

“Baby, they’re almost done!”

Almost.

Your eyes instantly went to Harry, gauging his reaction to Joe’s voice.

His face completely fell. He was already devoid of color, but right there and then, he almost looked lifeless.

“Just a second!” You called back, “Come sit down, yeah? I’ll get you a drink.”

“No,” he quickly said, “No, I won’t fucking sit down to have a chat with your boyfriend, Y/N, I–” He took a deep breath in, closing his eyes as he pinched his nose, “Sorry, I’m sorry,” he shook his head.

“It’s alright,” you replied awkwardly.

He wasn’t sure, but maybe he wanted you to scream at him. Shout. Cuss him out. It wasn’t alright.

“I’ll–” He pointed behind him at the door, “I’ll go. I’m sorry, this–this is so embarrassing.”

“Hey, it’s okay,” you said.

“It’s not,” he replied, “Please just–Stop. And stop–stop with the eyes.”

“What eyes?”

“The pity eyes,” Harry said with a shake of his head, “I don’t deserve them.”

“Harry,” you sighed, reaching up to rub your eyes.

He was tired.

Harry felt like the biggest loser there was. He felt like it was only then that it was really it for you–the both of you.

“He’s–He seems like a good man,” he said, and he wished he didn’t mean it.

“He is,” you said gently and cautiously.

He nodded, unsure of what to say, “Are you happy?”

Still cautious, you nodded, “I am. I actually am.”

“Great,” he sniffled, nodding, “Great. Good.”

You only looked at him.

“I’ll–” he pointed behind him again, this time taking quick steps back to the door and opening it before he paused in the doorway, turning back to you, “Do you think–Do you think you’ll ever forgive me?”

You gave him a small pursed smile, crossing your arms across your chest, “I always wanted the best for you, remember?”

God, he hated himself.

“I’m really sorry, Y/N.”

You gave him another smile, being gentle as you replied:

“I know you are, Harry.”

#backstage girlfriend #backstage gf!yn #harry styles imagine #harry styles fluff imagine #harry styles angst imagine #harry styles angst one shot #harry styles one shot

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call-me-maggie13 · 1 year

Text

The first time Beatrice takes Diana to school with her, it’s a Wednesday morning, Ava is running so very late and Beatrice is terrified of missing her classes. So, with an approving text from Ava, she bundles Diana into a winter coat and beanie, her favorite rubber duck printed blanket, and secures her in the baby carrier that Beatrice struggles with the straps of long enough that she’s genuinely embarrassed.

Her first lecture of the day is with Dr. Superion, who makes Beatrice nervous on a good day — on a day when she’s not asking to bring a eighteen-month-old baby into class with her. Superion is surprised, to say the least, when Beatrice stumbles into the lecture hall with a bouncing baby strapped to her chest and homework in hand. She greets Beatrice with raised eyebrows and a tilted head, waiting for the rushed and desperate explanation from Beatrice.

More below the break or on AO3.

"Will it scream?" Is the only question Dr. Superion has, shrugging and motioning to Beatrice’s seat when Beatrice assures Diana’s silence.

The lecture goes by mostly uneventful, with a minor hiccup when Diana first wakes back up and hates not being able to see what’s going on around her. Beatrice steps into the hallway, accepting two tiny slaps to her cheeks before she flips Diana around in the carrier and she’s content again, kicking her legs and flapping her arms gleefully.

Her second lecture of the day is with Professor Salvius — please call me Jillian, my name is Jillian — and she is properly ecstatic to have a baby in her class.

"It’s never too early to learn electrical fundamentals, is it…?" Jillian looks at Beatrice for the answer to the unasked question.

"Diana, like the princess."

Diana grabs at Jillian’s hands, cooing and babbling until Beatrice makes her way to her seat. Ignoring the lingering stares from a few of her classmates, Beatrice settles Diana on her lap with a stuffed rabbit and attempts to take notes throughout.

She ends up fighting Diana to not scribble on her notebook more than she actively takes notes.

They’re halfway to the quad when Diana starts wailing, Beatrice fumbling with the carrier and the diaper bag while searching for her pacifier. Beatrice’s heart is pounding and her cheeks are flushed a deep red when a random student stops beside her and offers to help. Beatrice nods and blinks the tears out of her eyes because everyone is staring and she refuses to cry.

The boy digs through the front pouch of the diaper bag while Beatrice bounces and shushes Diana, desperately rubbing circles in her back in what she can only hope is a calming manner. By the time he manages to find the pacifier, Diana is halfway asleep in Beatrice’s arms but Beatrice still accepts it gratefully.

The second time Beatrice has to take Diana to school with her is exactly a week later, Ava’s coworker called in so she had to stay late and she couldn’t get out of it. Beatrice is less nervous this time, but still uneasy.

Dr. Superion greets the both of them with a tight smile and a nod, and Jillian waves and grins at Diana.

The third time Beatrice takes Diana to school with her, it’s a deliberate choice. Ava isn’t feeling well and Beatrice wants her to be able to sleep without worrying about the baby.

Everything is well until Diana decides she doesn’t want to be in the carrier and, instead, wants to sit at Dr. Superion’s desk and play with her pens. Dr. Superion is surprisingly calm about it and simply moves her letter opener out of Diana’s reach. Jillian is more than happy to move her lecture outdoors so Diana can run and try to climb on the statue of the school mascot.

The girl that sits behind her in the lecture hall offers Beatrice her notes after realizing Beatrice’s divided attention has severely impacted her ability to take consistent notes.

The fourth time Beatrice takes Diana to school with her, it becomes apparent that the entire student body now recognizes Diana and most greet her by name in the halls. Beatrice rarely gets any acknowledgment, she’s certain almost none of these students know her name, but she enjoys it regardless.

She does have one interaction with a girl on the football team that will linger with her for many, many years. A passing remark that makes Beatrice’s ears burn and her stomach flip.

"Your daughter is precious. She looks so much like you." Beatrice thanks the stranger, but doesn’t correct her.

Beatrice doesn’t correct her.

The fifth time Beatrice takes Diana to school with her, Diana has a meltdown in the middle of her first lecture. Beatrice takes her to the hall and tries to calm her, but she’s inconsolable. Beatrice is considering skipping the rest of her lectures and taking Diana home when Dr. Superion opens the door.

"Let me see her." Beatrice blinks at Dr. Superion with her arms outstretched, reaching for the crying baby.

“It’s okay, we’re going home." Beatrice offers weakly, shifting the diaper bag on her back. Dr. Superion glares at her, stepping closer to them and letting the door close behind her.

"Believe it or not, Ms. Beatrice, but I did raise one of these myself. We will be covering exam material in this lecture and, if you intend to pass the course, it is imperative that you are in attendance. The child is clearly unsatisfied with you at the moment, so I would appreciate if you would give her to me and retake your seat."

Beatrice frowns and looks between Diana and Dr. Superion before relenting, easing the baby off her hip and into Dr. Superion’s arms. Dr. Superion cradles her and begins rubbing the pad of her thumb between Diana’s furrowed eyebrows, following the ridge of her eyebrows to her temples intermittently. Diana quickly quiets and relaxes against Dr. Superion’s chest, Beatrice sighs, allowing her shoulders to drop.

"How’d you do that?" As far as Beatrice is concerned, her professor is some sort of magician.

"My son used to get these wretched sinus headaches. She probably has allergies. Bring it up to her pediatrician at her next checkup." Dr. Superion speaks gently, her voice reminiscent and distant like she’s remembering something she hasn’t in a while before she fixes Beatrice with a pointed look. "Back to your seat, Ms. Beatrice."

They make it nearly to the end of the lecture before Diana starts crying again, although much softer this time. Beatrice stands immediately, only making it two steps before Superion tells her to sit again.

"This is distracting. There shouldn’t be whiny babies in my college classes. I’m paying a lot of money to be here and I can't even sit through a lecture without it being interrupted by a screaming kid." It comes from the far corner.

"You can always leave, Mister Daniel." Superion’s words are cutting and demanding, and Beatrice was very glad not to be on the receiving end of her sharp glare. "However, I am failing to understand the difference between a brief disruption and you sleeping through the entire lecture, as you have all semester."

There is a chorus of gasps and Beatrice stands again, ignoring Dr. Superion’s prompt to retake her seat and taking Diana from her. She clicks Diana into the carrier — which has gotten significantly easier to use — and leaves. She takes Diana home and they spend the day stacking blocks and singing to various musicals with Ava.

The first Wednesday Beatrice doesn’t take Diana to school with her, she gets stopped by at least a dozen students asking if Diana is okay and Dr. Superion starts the class with a short anonymous vote. She passes out notecards and tells everyone to write the numbers one through three, skipping every other line.

"This is a quick classroom survey in response to the events that transpired last week. There are no repercussions for your answers. Please be honest." She waits until everyone is looking at her again before continuing.

"Question one: is Diana, Ms. Beatrice’s baby, a distraction to the class?"

Beatrice’s face flushes hot as she stares at Dr. Superion, contemplating walking out of class again, only for her professor to continue.

"Question two: does it bother you that I allow Diana to stay during lectures?"

A man across the aisle glances intermittently at Beatrice, and the urge to walk out is overwhelming, but the need to not be seen anchors her in place.

"Question three: would you prefer I didn’t allow Diana back to class after last week’s incident?"

There’s a shuffle behind Beatrice, a soft murmuring of conversation that ripples through the air and draws everyone’s attention.

"Do you have something you would like to say, Ms. Yasmine?" Beatrice first met Yasmine in class two years prior, an excruciating mathematics course that almost led them to switch majors, until they decided to study together and realized the other understood what they did not.

Right now, Yasmine meets her gaze and shakes her head before turning to Dr. Superion.

"Yes, actually. I think this is bullshit. Diana should be allowed to stay, Daniel is a misogynistic asshole and he deserves to be kicked out of the class." Yasmine stands and points to Daniel’s empty seat.

A chorus of agreement is heard, with everyone either nodding or verbally agreeing.

"Seeing Diana is the best part of my week," a voice calls from across the classroom.

"She’s sweet and not at all distracting."

"I don’t understand why anyone cares what Daniel thinks."

"Diana deserves to be here."

"Beatrice should be allowed to bring her baby to class."

Dr. Superion allows the classroom to erupt for exactly two minutes before she quiets them.

"Are there any students who feel Diana should not be in this class or can't focus with her around? Again, there are no repercussions right now. In this classroom, everyone should feel that they are being given the best learning experience. This is me ensuring that."

It’s silent, the air in the room Arctic cold and thick as an iceberg while they wait. Beatrice doesn’t dare look around, she doesn’t know if she can handle any more rejection.

"Then it’s settled. Ms. Beatrice?" Dr. Superion waits until Beatrice meets her eyes, which are softer than she’s ever seen them. "Diana is always welcome in my class."

Beatrice glances around the lecture hall, searching for even a single hand in the air. When she doesn’t find any, she settles on Daniel’s seat and her stomach turns sour.

"Mister Daniel has elected not to take the course this semester and instead will retake it next semester; you need not worry about him."

"She kicked him out after you left last week," the woman beside her whispers, leaning closer to Beatrice with a dimpled grin. "She basically told him he’s going to have to switch his major because he can’t graduate without this course and she’s the only one teaching it."

Jillian intercepts Beatrice when she’s halfway to her lecture, waving her off to the side of the hallway. Beatrice bites the inside of her cheek but follows her, leaning against the wall and waiting for Jillian to speak.

"My wi - my colleague Dr. Superion informed me of last week’s events. I wanted to personally assure you that Diana will always, always be welcome in my lecture hall. The two of you were greatly missed last week, and not just by me, multiple students asked me if the both of you were okay and if I knew anything."

Beatrice nods hollowly and steps around Jillian and into the lecture hall, taking her seat silently and arranging her study materials in a rehearsed manner. Her phone buzzes in her pocket, three messages back to back and she knows it’s Ava before she even lights up the screen.

Ava: i know u cant take her to class anymore but can we have lunch?

Ava: she hasnt stopped crying since u left this morning

Ava: every time i get her half calm she asks for u and starts crying all over again

Beatrice’s heart tugs in her chest as she types out her response.

Beatrice: Lunch sounds wonderful, I have a break in 90 minutes?

The reply is almost instantaneous, a series of smiley face emojis and a single pink heart. Beatrice slips her phone back into her pocket with a smile on her face as Jillian starts the lecture.

Ava: we r at the cafe w cam and lilith

Beatrice: Just left class, be there in seven minutes.

Ava: exactly 7? im starting a timer

Beatrice grins and speeds up, slipping in between groups and telling herself that her heart is racing from the rush and not the prospect of seeing Ava. She has to repress the urge to sprint when she catches a glimpse of Ava and Diana through the glass of the cafe, barely remembering to check for oncoming cars before darting across the street.

She’s breathless when she bursts into the cafe, smiling wide and bright. Lilith rolls her eyes and holds Diana out to Beatrice like she has just been informed the baby is a biohazard. Diana squeals and kicks her arms and legs out as she makes grabbing motions for Beatrice.

"Bea-Bea! Bea-Bea!" Diana squeals as Beatrice takes her from Lilith, holding her other arm out for the very obviously exhausted Ava to collapse into her chest. Ava tucks her nose into Beatrice’s neck while Beatrice holds her tightly by the hips, accepting the multitude of wet and sticky kisses Diana is pressing against her cheek.

"Hey," Beatrice traces the curve of Ava’s spine with the tips of her fingers slowly, smiling at the quiet hum of acknowledgement she receives in response. Lilith feigns a gag and Camila flicks her ear before tugging her behind the counter and forcing her back to work. Beatrice rests her cheek against the top of Ava’s head and smiles at Diana, teasing in her question. "Did you break your mum, Diana?"

"Sorry," Ava takes a deep breath and stands, obviously trying to stifle a yawn behind a shaky inhale before she slips back into the booth. Beatrice slides in across from her, holding Diana by the torso when she stands and slaps the table repeatedly. "I’m just so tired today, but I’m okay."

Beatrice tilts her head softly, laughing gently when Ava rolls her eyes. Diana laughs with her, the sound tugging Ava’s lips into a soft smile.

"I’m good, Bea. I promise." Ava assures, reaching across the table before retreating halfway through the action and dropping her hand back into her lap.

"You look exhausted, Ava. I can take her the rest of today so you - "

"No, you told me what happened last week. I’ve been expecting too much from you." Ava is steadfast in her dismissal, strong and committed even though Beatrice knows how desperately she needs a nap. Beatrice appreciates how she doesn’t want to take advantage of her generosity, but something has to give.

"You haven’t expected any more than I’m willing to give." Beatrice wraps a steadying hand around Diana’s stomach as she leans forward, reaching her hand across the table in the same motion Ava had just retracted. Ava sighs and takes Beatrice’s hand in her own, her fingers a live wire intwined with Beatrice’s. "I wouldn’t be offering if I wasn’t willing, Ava."

Ava sighs and presses her lips together, scrunching her nose up in a way that makes Beatrice forget to breathe. Diana bounces on Beatrice’s lap and Beatrice has to drop Ava’s hand to steady her before she does it again, giggling and shrieking all the while.

"She’s a lot today." Ava looks down, tucking her bottom lip between her teeth and rubbing her nose. Beatrice reaches across the table and tucks a strand of hair behind her ear, her hand lingering before brushing the pad of her thumb across Ava’s cheek.

"She’s a lot every day, Ava." She keeps her voice light and teasing, she knows how guilty Ava feels just for admitting she needs help, she doesn’t want to make it worse. The watch Diana take the sugar packet tray, tip it over, and spill the colorful packets across the tabletop. "How about this, I am going to keep her the rest of the day and you are going to go home and sleep. And, if you’re still feeling guilty tonight, you can make me that weird pasta that I love. Sound good?"

Ava shakes her head and opens her mouth in what Beatrice knows is going to be a rejection so she interjects.

"It was a rhetorical question, I wanted you to know the plan and feel like we decided it together. I’m keeping her and you’re going to sleep." Ava pouts, she honest to god pouts and Beatrice is suddenly extremely distracted with the thought of kissing her pout away.

Beatrice forces her attention back to Diana, who is pulling the sugar packets to the edge of the table. She knows she was staring at Ava’s lips, she just really hopes Ava isn’t aware of it too.

Beatrice cups her hands under the edge of the table and catches the sugar packets when Diana topples them over the edge, smiling when Diana giggles and kisses her cheek. When she looks back at Ava, the tips of her ears and nose are red and her smile is softer than it was before.

When they say goodbye an hour later, Ava lingers in her hug with Beatrice, her nose tucked into Beatrice’s neck.

"If I’m giving you a ride, you better hurry the fuck up." Camila flicks Lilith’s ear again and chastises her before pulling her to the other side of the car, their voices carry but their words don’t. Beatrice wonders briefly what they’re talking about before she’s distracted by Ava moving away.

"Thank you," she whispers before she lifts Diana off Beatrice’s hip and helps clasp her into the carrier, pressing a kiss against her forehead. "Be good, okay? I love you."

Ava leans forward again and brushes her lips over Beatrice’s cheek before she’s gone, slipping inside Lilith’s little car and slamming the door behind her. Beatrice takes a shaking inhale and blinks.

They’re gone by the time she’s recovered, cheeks burning and skin vibrating. She doesn’t have time to dwell on the moment when Diana swings her tiny hand back and smacks her in the face.

"Uh-oh." Diana tries to twist to see where she hit Beatrice, bottom lip stuck out and chin quivering and Beatrice’s heart aches.

"It’s okay, baby. Don’t cry." Beatrice bounces Diana, offering her own hands for Diana to hold, which Diana accepts ecstatically.

Beatrice is uncertain of a lot of things — whether Ava meant that kiss as a friendly gesture or as something more, whether Ava feels the same way as her, what would happen if she told Ava everything — but she is certain of one thing: she loves Diana and she would do anything to stay in her life and keep her happy, healthy, and safe.

Including not confessing her undeniable feelings for Ava.

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