#bc there are so many out there...but in a way that makes it easier to do a closet cosplay

[lunarharp]

"Found out" set in kind of a made-up chapter where the girls are in trouble, or something.

#witch hat tag #orufrey #i hate having a strong cinematic image in your mind for months..working hours on it..& at the end looking you have to be like “Sure. :/" #i'm especially unsatisfied with the beginning and the end and how i can't get eyebrows to work as i want #but i dont care any more... this is probably the comic that has given me the most trouble ever i just dont care #i barely even care whatsoever if anyone even sees this..Ugh..but at least i can move on to the next era now #i'm just annoyed i cant get out good enough my image of qifrey flinching bc he thinks oru will hit him but then he is not hit #i feel like sensei will do something along these lines. i want to see what she will do. #there are also other variations i have in my mind. i just want to know #i just don't want it to happen with qifrey on his deathbed or something. but it possibly will. I DONT EVEN KNOW. #i have another very cinematic image in my mind for something sort of along those lines which i will do soon. it never ends... #btw after this is probably my fics. yeah.... i think it has to be my fics. jasmine sort of goes along these lines #i need that space for dialogue. look - i'm a writer. this is HARD for me. so i am really glad i had the space and freedom of words #to process all the feelings. but i tried to get something out in a quick visual space too. <- me defending myself to myself at cai court #anyway going along the lines of 'Jasmine' - they talk this out and argue and cry and oru pushes the hat at him and tells him #why not just erase every memory i have of you then. That would be easier for us all wouldn't it? #they kiss and sob and kiss and lie outside in the flowers for many hours in that one. and then there's 'Deep End' where it turns out #way way way way more time and words is needed for this actually and that's upsetting for everyone. #the destruction of the hat is certainly another path to take. Can you make this work without that hat going up in flames? #something you have always had and have been clinging to will have to be destroyed. You have to lose something now. This is the crux qifrey #I CANT GET IT OUT IN ONE COMIC!!! I CANT DRAW IT OUT!!!! I NEEDED THOSE FICS!!!! PRAISE WORDS!!!! whatever im going to have dinner now

[areacode516]

i was able to find the button up will roland wore as jared kleinman at the end of the show/when he comes in for finale online and buy it!!! (pre-owned of course) it was a vans shirt

trivia: later jareds all wore a different blue/white/pink button up and slightly differently designed red sriracha shirt, jared and gaten wore the same designs but sky had his own version too

#dear evan hansen #jared kleinman #will roland #sky lakota-lynch #jared goldsmith #gaten matarazzo #deh #i assume they replaced wills costume bc they stopped being sold? or to fit later jareds better #i couldnt find a better pic of sky in the outfit :( #im sure no one can tell im obsessed with this character #i may make a compilation post of all jared costumes i can find? if people are interested in that #something like the bmc archive but just for jared. lol #the sriracha shirt is a nightmare ngl. its impossible to find exactly the same kind wrol wore #bc there are so many out there...but in a way that makes it easier to do a closet cosplay #part of me wonders how many jared costumes were just. will rolands own clothing #the shirt is really comfy by the way. its super lightweight and adds a nice oomph to an outfit without heating you up more #my.post

[mattodore]

found out while putting together matthias's oc page that his name has the exact same etymology and meaning as theo's name...

i’m sure this is information matthias is very normal about…

#theo is in fact a gift from god so jot that down ! #river dipping #i've been throwing myself into oc stuff bc i'm not doing hot mentally which is... tbh when i do my best writing 😭 #none of this is new tho i wrote the bios and 'at a glance' intros months and months ago when i first made an oc page #which is why i do plan on rewriting them but for now i'm leaving them like this... so i guess the echthroi page is done? #obviously echthroi has more characters than this but i haven't taken new screenshots of everyone yet... #i put the gray cas bg back in my game a few days ago only to completely forget i wanted to take new headshots for the oc page 😭 #like these are just placeholders... i want the backgrounds to match the oc page. oh... or maybe i could just do transparent pics? #i think i remember vyx made a post abt how to do that... will look into that when i open the game again. rn i'm at my keyboard 🧑‍💻 #like i am writing new things! started a google doc for theo yesterday and have been writing on it here and there since then #i've already cried in there... lmaooo. i like oc pages for sure but i think a huge google doc is what i really need to keep track of things #i drop so much lore in tags on here and it's like! river write that down somewhere else or you'll lose it 😭 #like i fr have never actually written down any of the info i've shared on here. i've just had all this oc knowledge stored in my brain. #so i went through and copied over a tonnn of tags and posts i've made into google docs but i just know i'm missing things i've probably #said in the tags of their core tagged posts... 🧍 if my blog didn't have so many posts i'd have an easier time going through it but 🤷 #and on top of that i've been making a bunch of posts about theo and matthias on my main acc. which is like 🧍 well great now there's more #i'm gonna lose track of...... i fr have gottt to get into the habit of actually putting things down in theo's google doc!!! #i'm just trying to figure out the best way to format it all but i've downloaded a few templates that i've been messing with. #...anyway. if it isn't obvious i'm trying to get back to posting on here. i'm opening my inbox now with the intent to just. #sit here in my inbox until i can get myself to reply. lads... avpd is actually so torturous i'm not kidding. #i feel like i'm dying trying to get myself to interact with people sometimes even despite how badly i want!!!! to interact!!! #theo and me and our avoidant trauma responses holding hands and skipping around together

[bunnihearted]

🐰🌧️

#so on my way home.. #i walked by a school and besides the fact that i felt so depressed bc just looking at these kids and adults i have NO hope for the future #i saw two boys on a bench as i walked by... and i just thought they were talking. and too late i realized that no one of the boys were #bullying the other boy. the bully walked away and the other boy just sat there looking so lifeless and dejected #a teacher came and sat down w that boy and i just kept walking. even if i wanted to say smth it's like what would i even do abt that situati #that made me so sad both bc that boy.. he looked so dejected and used to it. that anxiety going to school knowing you're bullied is awful #and like i imagined talking to him and saying heyyy if you're lucky you'll grow up to be 25yrs old #live like a parasite off your mom and be on wellfare and never have had a job :) #you'll have no education or highschool diploma :) you will still struggle to finish hs even at an easier level :) #you will also not have had friends in 10yrs and you'll be terrified of ppl and getting close to anyone and even going outside!! #you'll have no interests and hobbies and skills! you'll simply be a waste of space loser being a burden on everyone around u! #whoop whoop stay alive buddy it will only get worse ❤️ #god i just wanna cry. how did i let my life turn out this way??? i used to be full of dreams and life and passion and HOPE #i used to believe in things and in people. i had so many dreams and i wanted to try and do so many things #now all i can think is 'i wanna die i wanna die i wanna die'. im miserable wherever i go lmao #there's this bridge over the highway i have to cross when i walk to school and every time i look down at the trafic and when a truck drives #by i feel my entire body vibrate. i just wanna jump and get mauled by it. #or i dont *want* to but i feel so deeply and desperately that it's the only way for me #only way to make it stop hurting. and i am weak. i dont know how to just 'stop' or take control of my life. thats why i wanna die #bc i know that i wont be able to. that my life will never amount to anything #for fuck's sake my dream now is just to have my own 1bedroom apartment and have a shitty job - like in a grocery store or whatever!!!!! #not even that can i make happen! bc im so worthless i cant do anything. im also stupid so i wouldnt be able to do my job right #i dont know... i dont know... these feelings and thoughts are too much i just wanna relax #but i cant bc my ribs hurt and idk if it's heartburn or an ulcer 💀 why am i even alive???? what am i doing all this for? 😭 #my thoughts ran away but i meant like seeing that reminded me of how much of a failure i became #bc of my circumstances and all the shitty ppl around me thru out my life

[hauntedpearl]

oh okay okay okay hear me out: dean's widower arc 2: electric boogaloo that is post-canon pre-empty rescue moments. people have talked about how he leaves cas texts and voicemails and yes that fucks so hard like!!!! can you imagine!!!!

at first it's mostly a lot of angry, helpless drunken ramblings. this is like pre 15x19, let's say when he's like alone alone. he'll be like come back, you son of a bitch! he'll be like how dare you. he'll curse and yell and cry and brokenly say, you had me, cas. we had each other. but then lucifer calls him and it's so fucked up dean can't bring himself to pull up cas' contact for a while. they beat god. they get their lives back. jack comes back to them (he must!!!). their lives are theirs again and dean's determined to look for a way to get cas back. his voicemails are now everyday updates. he tells cas about jack. about sam and eileen. about a thing he's cooking. about what research is like. he still gets drunk and says dumb shit sometimes but then he'll apologize in the next voicemail. it's like prayer but it makes him feel better that it's a tangible thing. it makes him feel like cas is actually listening. the illusion of cas' life is easier to maintain when the phone against his ear is solid and cold and grounding in a way.

when cas comes back, they figure out that cas' phone's just lying around the bunker somewhere. Dean finds it, but doesn't give it back to cas right away. they exist in this limbo where it means so much that dean spent so much time to get cas back and that he risked so much to rescue him, but all these months of pouring his heart out to a phantom still doesn't prepare him for the real thing. cas, for his part, is just happy to be back but he's also very wary and is perpetually waiting for the other shoe to drop. they go on like that for a bit until it all comes to a head at some point because cas has misplaced guilt and dean has misplaced anger and it's always a bad combination and cas is like maybe i should go and dean's so mad he just stalks up to his room and brings cas ' phone to him and he's like do whatever you want. and then he goes to his room to just drops to the floor, head in his hands. cas turns on his phone and yep. all these texts and missed calls. and then the voicemails. he spends the night listening to them and then he FINALLY SEES it and goes to find Dean in the early hours of the dawn and dean's still on the floor against his bed and cas settles down next to him and they don't say anything for a bit but then cas just turns and hugs him and buries his face in dean's hair and hey look it's not everything but it's a start and they're gonna be okay. like. suddenly they're both aware that they have the rest of their lives. and like. IT'S SO. HMM. LOSING MY MIND THIS MORNING!

#HI IT'S LITERALLY 7 IN THE MORNING IS TJE REST OF THE DAY GONNA BE LIKE THIS FOR ME!!!!!!! #i am just thinking overwhelming destiel.thoughts today oh nooooo #spn headcanons #doe is talking again #destiel #like ofc i think prayer but also VOICEMAILS #ALSO LETTERS I THINK #i always think about how desn probably journalled so much in cas' absence #mostly out of habit but also like. it's ONE WAY HE CSN BE HIMSELF RIGHT #like. he can say i love you and he vantbe vulnerable and scared and stupid and it feels easier when it's not words pushing past his lips #he probably also sketches cas all the time. these doodles that he will then stare at when cas is dead because he didn't think to take #enough pictures before #and then when cas comes back he takes SO MANY photos of him and they're mostly badly framed and blurry but #HE WON'T STOP #he'll print some out like.he printed out the tombstone picture #he'll make albums bc he wants something to hold on to this time #when it happens for the last time #WHEEEEEEE ANYWAY

[llumimoon]

Oh my god I had a thought. Dude ok so the theory that’s been floating around is that killing one of the Doodler’s anchors doesn’t fix anything, and instead that emotion finds an anchor in someone else. WHAT IF ITS SCARY. WHAT IF ALL THE ANCHORS END UP TRANSFERRING TO THE TEENS THEMSELVES. It’s like the whole personalizing of the anchors thing from season 1!!! AND IT STARTS WITH SCARY AND HER LONELINESS!

#dndads #dungons and daddies #dungeons and daddies season 2 #dndads spoilers #LIKE LISTEN !!!! #i have been vibing w/ anchor Normal bc I was like that would be a cool story twist #but I didn’t think it would realistically happen bc I don’t think Anthony is the kinda dm to out of the blue be like #‘ur character was secretly this the whole time’ #but if anchor emotions can be TRANSFERRED…… #If each teen represents a specific emotion of the doodler #having the anchor arcs be centered around one of each of the teens #makes it SO MUCH COOLER AND EASIER to see how they relate to the Doodler and each other #GROUP THERAPY TIME EJWBAKSBKF #thinking abt when TJ said when Lark communicated with the Doodler on the throne #there was something physical he had that he smashed #and I don’t know if that’s a plot hole #or if that was Earth’s first anchor #THOUGHTYA….. SO MANY THOUGHTS #cal rambles #ok but also I think this would be a really interesting way to look into Scary’s character #and how her loneliness leads her to push the people around her farther away #and how it leads her to look for validation in the wrong places #OUGH she is soooo teenage girl I love her so much

[nexus-nebulae]

odd thing we've noticed. the less okay we are the smaller our active system gets

#like logically you'd think we'd get more members while stressed but we don't usually #we actually split way more often when we're feeling okay and alive #i think it has something to do with mental bandwidth #like when mental health bad we don't have enough mental energy to put towards the system #so we just. reduce a lot in size. to make the workload easier #like a few months ago we had about 100+ people active at once all rotating out frequently and cofronting a TON #and now we're down to like. three or four active the rest really only able to be active for a few minutes at a time #we're just too exhausted to deal with the chaos of so many people so it kinda. slows down a ton #it's hard to get used to when everything was So Loud before. its kinda scary sometimes #like damn. i cant just call Incredibly Specific Task Guy to deal with this task i really cannot do right now. that kinda sucks #but knowing that this is like. more bc of the fact that we Can't Deal With Much More Than This makes it a little easier #we're a bit like my current computer. shit ass RAM bc its got like 50 malware (illnesses) on it #and once i get a new computer (get a little better and more functional) i can get back to multitasking #side note my god my RAM on this computer is shit running tumblr and minecraft at the same time totally breaks it #like it makes the Entire Computer run at 10 fps it's Great #i'm getting a new one at the end of this month hopefully #and hopefully Actually Nice Thing Accomplished will also help brain a lot #also not having to stress about how annoying to use our computer is should help lmao

[dutybcrne]

Me BSing hcs like: The fact that Kae is not only able to create a shield when he is dangerously low HP but also the fact that he is able to regenerate HP when he hits opponents with Frostgnaw is definitely due to him receiving his Vision when Diluc had tried to kill him in their Confrontation...but could it be possible that his familial ties to the Abyss Order could have influenced that HP drain of his-

#//And that's without mentioning the fact that Glacial Waltz's duration increases FOR EVERY OPPONENT DEFEATED #//Between that and his lil teleporting trick like an Abyss mage's (minus the flurries of ice); I have SO many thinkings #//Deffo love the abilities of his being an amalgam of Vision based and Abyssal energy imbued #//Deffo love that fact meaning it hurts a bit to use his Vision at all; esp with the teleporting being such a Staple to his combat style #☆ ┆ ( .ooc. ); #//Sidetracking a bit; but I also like to think that even after the Abyss is defeated/beaten back enough to not be such a threat; he'd still #keep his abilities from it/some connection to it. Bc he's so used to it being such a big PART of his fighting style/assets to use in a pinc #//But also bc keeping that connection means it'd help him keep track of any remnants of the Order far easier #//He could track them down with far more ease; sense if they are growing stronger; get intel from Domains/abyssal traces #//Of course being very mindful to keep it a secret & trying to not involve his loved ones/fellow knights of it all #//But he very much is careful esp bc of risks of him being corrupted by it; keeping a keen eye on his mental/physical/emotional states #//Deffo has plans to leave Mond and/or end his own life if he starts seeing the Abyssal corruption affecting him irreversibly #suicide mention tw #//Kind of but also kind of not; considering some of the ways how he'd go abt it #//Knows it'd be harder to the further it goes; so he has particular criteria he keeps tracks of to ensure if they come to pass #//he; in a clearer state of mind; would either 1) use his Vision to try & purge the energy out of himself (extremely painful; COULD kill #if the corruption runs deep enough & save him the trouble) or 2) use the aggressiveness of the corruption to provoke someone (esp Luc) #into taking care of him &thus ending the problem all together. Bc he KNOWS he's strong; only a handful of beings could actually kill him #//& actually be WILLING to; without hesitation. Luc comes to mind first bc of their Confrontation. But also bc Kae'd be happy w him being #the last person he ever sees. Thinks it'd be comforting more than anyone else. Esp since a lover would just break his heart to see them #//Worst case scenario is him falling to the corruption & sb breaking it out of him in the moment #//Bc the Instant he realizes what's happening; esp if they are crying and/or angered at him; he WILL fatally wound himself #//And make SURE it's not something he can come back from; save by a miracle (or 'curse' as he'd see it) #//Probably making an icicle and slitting his own throat; if not jamming the thing into his heart #//he won't hesitate; wont offer explanations; final words or apologies; he cant risk that moment of clarity being too short for it #//he HAS to make sure he can't hurt anyone any further; no matter what it means for him #//Which is partly why he'd be so keen to make sure it's not found out; bc he KNOWS he can be talked out of keeping those abilities #//Or worse; he'd fight them on it; and thus make for a fucken MESS in the aftermath if he's been too far along in the corruption #//But he KNOWS that even with the risks; the powers are a VALUABLE asset to him; &thus desperately wants to keep them #//'sidetracking a bit'; I said. Proceed to write a wHOLE FUCKEN NEW HC IN TAGS; I did; kjfbgkftg. Whoops lmao

[holyviolence]

omg i spent the whole day cleaning my entire apartment because my family was coming to visit and 1) so so so happy my adhd is being medicated now it's literally changing my life and 2) i FINALLLY got through to my dad about how he probably has ADHD too!!!!! he finally said Yeah i think i might have adhd. and my mom was like Me too (we've had this talk privately before, she knows she has adhd too lol) And my brother is literally transferring to a different school because he can't concentrate and isn't disciplined at his current uni. adhd family.

#literally thank goodness my brother was here to like Perfectly describe in real time what happens to adhd people when they go to college for #the first time. there's less structure and you fall apart. i used that as an opportunity. #i've slowly slowly slowly been chipping away at my Entire family btw. i've finally convinced my dad that medication is a GOOD THING. #i said You know. there's a lot in life that you feel like you Have to live with. but being on meds has made life so much easier and happier. #and that's when my dad finally said it. #:^) sometimes i like..... think about my family and how complicated i feel because growing up was super tough with all of them but now they #are all better people..... and i can't help but feel proud because as much as it is ABSOLUTELY great job for THEM for getting there But i #also feel uhhh partly responsible because i was constantly calling them out for shit. not always in the best way #but always standing up for others and challenging them on their worldviews and just casually talking about more liberal (as in free. not #politically) things. yes i do feel like if it wasn't for me my family would be worse people #i KNOW one of my brothers would be because he literally told me so. and it makes me happy. it is proof that my life is worthy and i have a #good impact on the world. it doesn't have to be a big thing i do to change things..... because i believe in the Ripple Effect #my dad is a teacher and he uses the proper pronouns for his trans students without complaint now. that has a good impact on SO many people #the trans students and their classmates who hear their teacher respect them. my brother is no longer homophobic he's bi lol and #if i hadn't argued with him about what bisexuality meant bc he was Wrong when i was 18 and he was 16... i wonder.... #my younger sister is one of the nicest kids i've ever met and i partly raised her. it feels great to see her be such a good kid #her best friend is a trans girl and when she first came out my sister was one of two people in their class who still wanted to be #her friend. #idk. just inspires me to keep being the best person i can be & always do what's right even if it makes people mad #bc no one can hurt me as much as my family has traumatized me (lol) and look what happened to them!! i didn't give up! and i see real change

[catkin-morgs-kookaburralover]

how to not be overstimulated

#put music on - some of my very favourite stuff - and oh! it is making my hair stand on end! in not a good way! i am now on edge and i #don't! know! why! #if only all this would make SENSE >:( #no apparent trigger that i can perceive #back to our regular i want to dieeeeeeeeeeeeeee apparently #and there's no REASON for to be feeling like this it would be so much easier if there WAS #i want to do so many things but they involve Textures and No #knitting? i want to finish my cloak! im les than a row away from the border itself! excited! and its maybe at times getting cool enough i #could wear it! but the mere thought of perhaps i should knit to calm down sounds Too Much! because knitting has Texture! #piano? it has Sounds! and there's a slightly worrying trend beginning to emerge that piano makes me Feel Emotions! and it's been like at #least five times where ive gone to play the piano to calm down which helps to some extent but also helps to remove a numb feeling which is #overall good emotionally but it has ended up with me harming because i can't Deal with the Emotions! and i dont think this is a very good #trend! i could get out my colouring book i was given for my birthday and see if that helps but that also has Sounds! pencil on paper sounds #i could write but id have to work out a different scene because i cannot write the scene im up to rn bc it's hard enough when im #emotionally stable bc neither character knows what to do or say! #so many things i *could* do! i could go for a walk! too Bright #i could do All These Things If Only I Could #am i just making up all these difficulties and is it just my own stupid brain that's inventing things? Who Knows!! #and it's so unfair that eating makes everything *worse* #it shouldn't happen that way #it just shouldn't #i just want to die so bad #i wont do anything #not permanent i mean #tw suicidal ideation #tw sh #for the record i ate a meal like an hour and a half ago and ive hydrated #personal #im just so tired and pathetic and messed up :/

[saviorkink]

x

#so its been 3 months exactly since me & my ex like... said farewell #very dramatically #i just found out he blocked me on tiktok. 2 months ago i would've been devastated but now i just feel kinda bummed out #like is this really how 4 years of best friendship & 1 year of dating fuckery ends? damn lol it wasn't even all that #but mostly i just think its extremely pathetic & childish and LOSERRRR BEHAVIORRRR . for a 100k tiktok acc #to block a 150 follower account that doesnt even follow him + doesnt interact #like ok you said you weren't in love with me?? yet you feel the need to block me 3 months after the fact #im minding my business unless he breaks first (which has been the case a few times) #its still hard to get over him but he's making it easier every day! #just yesterday i was on the train On my way! to a concert & i remembered the afternoon before my harry concert in june last night #the mutual interest if you will had been re-established like a week prior & i texted him if he wanted to hang out and he said yes (ofc) #and the tension.......... GOD I MISS THATHSFDJKFS #walking around decathlon flirting oh it was SO STUPIDDD. THE GIGGLES. personally i've never really experienced that on that level before bc #like it's the best friends to lovers thing its the fact that we both felt the energy shift very clearly and were leaning into it #but not actually doing anything about it yet #just making stupid jokes flirting giggling but acting like actually nothing is going on #when i damn well know that if any of my friends saw us that afternoon they would've side eyed us SOOOOO HAARDDDDD #not to wax poetic over the guy who fucked me over so many times but. the electric energy ..... #i'm probably not going to feel That ever again #whatever! whatever #txt

[girlvinland]

Everything keeps feeling so off right now. I just wish I knew if I was being too overbearing.

#by bug #I feel like I should stop making so many snippets of posts like this but #idk it’s easier just throwing these things out into the void bc I feel like I’m not doing a good job of saying it elsewhere #I think sometimes i just can’t find the right words to explain things #or maybe I’ve already said enough without saying anything at all #idk I don’t actually think I’ve had anything happen this way before #and my navigation thus far has been poor

[orcelito]

Feeling some buyers remorse for buying 2 shelves yesterday online. But it's getting eclipsed by the excitement of thinking about where I'm gonna put them and rearranging my apartment a little bit

Is this what it's like to be an adult? Lol

#speculation nation #work sucked today but in brighter moments ive just been buzzing in excitement about furniture #i bought some storage shelves and then a bookshelf #im gonna put the storage shelves at the far side of my living room & put as many of my boxes as i can fit on it #removing Box Island from the center of my living room lol #i wanna also sort thru the boxes to figure out what things would be considered permanent storage (archival things) #which would be priority placed on the storage shelves #and then figure out what boxes i would potentially want to unpack in the coming months. to keep in easier to access locations. #yes ive been living here for 2+ years and yes ive only got like half my shit unpacked. such is life. #for my new bookshelf i wanna do a little more rearranging #the cats' fancy litter box is in the little hallway leading into the bathroom #placed there bc it was the easiest to access outlet for the self cleaning litter box #but it's chunky and gets in the way and with the non clumping litter those things are like fucking legos on the floor #crunch crunch crunch under my slippers. id like the litter box more out of the way. #so im gonna put it in the cat area of the living room. rearranging some stuff over there to make it fit. #and then where it is rn in the hallway. im gonna put my new bookshelf. #i dont know what books im gonna put on it yet. probably my less personal books. probably no manga. #im supposed to get a bookshelf from my dad sometime that's bigger than both my current and my new bookshelf #and im gonna put it in my room. clear the space behind my TV. and Theres where i wanna put out all my manga thats been in storage #idk. shelves!!! potential!!!! its all so exciting. #nothing like new furniture to make me feel like im gonna try to get my life back in order. #and Honestly having the living room suddenly so much cleaner has been... nice. #im gonna work on cleaning my room soon. it is Long overdue.

[cruelsister-moved2]

this is why we won't survive if we continue to focus on the oppressed but ignore the oppressor and the oppression because people might acknowledge that more than 1 in 4 women have experienced sexual assault, but doesn’t that bring up concerning questions about how many men have committed it? a lot of you are building a frankly deranged worldview where misogyny is just a natural part of the world that we’re all equally helpless against and apparently the solution is to completely deny it exists and force women to make nice with the people actively benefitting from our subordination. this happens with other forms of oppression frequently too but you seem to have the most difficulty in grasping that the patriarchy is intentionally maintained by people who benefit from it. There is no oppression without oppressors and your activism is far worse than useless if it frightens you to admit that 

#preemptive FAQ section: #yes i know not all SAs are committed by men but the VAST majority are #yes i know men can be SA victims but the stats on how many vary WILDLY and most of those are ALSO committed by men #I also dont believe the patriarchy genuinely benefits men but it does materially benefit them quite significantly #so long as they continue to profit from it i dont have time to cry abt how toxic masculinity is a prison like #its a prison created by men to which men hold the key #you are responsible for getting yourselves out of that one chief not women #dismantling the patriarchy would make us all like. mentally healthier but it would also force men to do more housework and speak less #and work harder for promotions etc #like this happens because men benefit it #the pay gap isn't an accident of nature it literally allows men to 1. add that money to their paycheck #and 2. for their partners to be financially dependent on them and therefore easier to cntrol #this is also reason number 34593745 why tran.s.misa.nd.ry is HORRIBLE analysis #i think many of them genuinely don't get it bc they have so thoroughly convinced themselves that sexism is just like. when ur mean to someon #but it implies that ppl who experience transphobia but not misandry are like. your oppressor class #who are benefitting in some way from your marginalisation

[medicasino]

ive just accepted im just never going to fit cleanly into any label or community ever

#affie txt #vent incoming sorry ik this is probably really annoying #and im also sorry if this comes off insensitive or ''i have it SO hard'' i dont mean to be like that #but just. no matter how my identity rolls out i always feel like an imposter in some way #when i ided as a lesbian i already knew i was nonbinary and despite my yearning to experience it; i never knew and will never experience #being a lesbian and a binary woman. and ofc when i ided as a nonbinary lesbian was during that whole bullshit ''nonbinary people cant be #lesbians'' debate that resurfaced so that didnt fucking help #but im not a lesbian im bi so that was easy i guess. or easier #not being binary or very knowledgeable on queer history (tbh i want to change this im not proud of that) and having not participated in #many pride events and queer spaces irl (due to uh. yunno. Covid lol) #has like really made me feel like an imposter that just doesnt fit in anywhere #and now coming to terms with me being transmasc and having a strong attraction towards men and nonbinary folks has really uh. shaken things #up #and not fully in a good way bc its left me scrambling to put together the pieces #its left me in sooooooooooooo much distress i feel like so sick over it #its. not fun. esp bc im still pre-op so very girlish in appearance and voice eugh #and on top of that im also still nonbinary and do feel more neutral/androgynous some days and also consider myself gnc bc i like feminine #clothes and stuff so like. AUGH! and im also fucking 5'1-2 so no matter if i bind or get top surgery or etc i dont think ill ever pass as #not a girl so . pain! #and even saying all that makes me feel guilty bc its like. is that just internalized misogyny? am i misogynistic for feeling this way? and #IK IN MY RATIONAL MIND THATS BULLSHIT AND THIS IS *ONLY* ABT ME NOT OTHER TRANSMASCS AND NBLMS/MLMS TO BE CLEAR #im just an anxious mess with ocd and anxiety in general that just loooooooooooves latching onto bullshit like this to prove im predatory or #weird. also other ocd themes dont fucking help? #idk ill shut up now i need to be on a call but just like. its painful bc i dont feel like i fit into any queer communities lol #this also applies to disability stuff but im NOT cracking that can of worms open today sorry #ok gopdbye for now . responses are ok btw but also no pressure im kinda just emptying my head lol #vent #rant #ask to tag

[moe-broey]

Honestly a dream hobby of mine (ESP as I've been getting more into Making Things with My Hands -- from pins to jewelry and ESPECIALLY clothing modifications) is doll customization. ESPPP inspired by Dollightful on Youtube, where her projects get So Involved sometimes she's woodworking she's sawing off limbs she's using clay and sanding it down to reshape the doll's body to fit her vision. AND ofc any doll custom involves a new face (watercolor pencils or paints choose your fighter) and new hair (doll hair BUT I ALWAYS THINK ABOUT the way of making doll hair/wefts Out Of Yarn‼️‼️ THAT'S SO COOL) and a new outfit (sewing and crafting and ESPECIALLY considering "Okay, What material would work best to achieve the goal I'm aiming for? How does it sit? How does it flow? And most IMPORTANTLY How Does It Work!!!!!")

Like maybe it's the alleged not officially diagnosed ADHD but I GET. SO BORED. If I'm not Working With My Hands (I literally CAN'T draw digital anymore because IT'S BORING‼️‼️ IT'S TOO CLEAN ALSO‼️‼️‼️ LET ME BULLSHIT AND GET MESSY AND TRY WEIRD THINGS THAT MAY OR MAY NOT WORK ‼️‼️‼️ EXPERIMENTAL‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️)

#in highschool my ABSOLUTE DREAM was to make a lillie pokemon doll #and i would make all her different outfits (ESP from the anime she has SO many cute looks) and hairstyles (AGAIN SAME THING) #the hairstyles would likely have been wig caps made of yarn wefts (easier styling/shape holding) #and i could switch em out like nendos. #but current day the current fixation is fire emblem so i would probably exclusively just make fe charas For A While LMFAOO #BUT ESPPPPP WHEN IT COMES TO MONSTER HIGH DOLLS.... AND ALL THE VARIETY............. #could you imagine!!!!!! esp w how i treat non-human/not entirely human charas as creative exercises LMFAO #A NOWI DOLL. WITH MORE NOTICIBLY DRAGON/CREATURE FEATURES. #nowi makes me want to bang my head againts the wall tbh bc I LOVE EVERYTHING ABOUT HER DESIGN. #I EVEN LOVE HER CANON OUTFIT SO MUCH. I JUST HATE!!!!!!!! THE PROBLEMS ‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️ #i ESPPPPP LOVE her color palette too IT'S SO FUCKING GOOD. ALL OF MY FAVE COLORS. TBH. SHE WOULD BE SO FUN TO MAKE #AUGH‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️ #in any case sharena would be my test run bc i love her dearly AND i think she'd be fun to make too (esp the gradient in her hair) #ALAS..... nobody get their hopes up bc. money 😔 (like i do know there's ways to start out #like on a budget. but. even then it seems so daunting. esp as someone who never has collected dolls)