#bc a lot of the time it’s done with no self-reflection

[redlestat]

today i watched season 1 for the first time so here are my thoughts on season 1 of hannibal.

please note that those are MY thoughts and i never watched the show or have knowledge about it.

hannibal s1 thoughts

hannibal is someone that never let his feelings controls him. he is always ahead of everyone because he thinks about every little details, he thinks of the best and the worst scenarios and get prepared for it. he reveals only what he chooses to show, allowing him to manipulate situations to his advantage. all of this is reflected in his killings and that’s why he’s never been caught. his killings are cold, clean and done meticulously with no motive but just the love of human meat and killing.

hannibal never anticipated will entering his life; it was unplanned and unexpected. hannibal became intrigued by will after their first meeting, seeing will own true self, which others failed to recognize. he said ithimself, hannibal saw himself in will but will is also his opposite. at first he just got non romantically obsessed with will and it became romantic without even him knowing.

people say that hannibal knew he loved will the day he first met him him but i think he only realized when he got will framed. until then he cared for will without knowing what it was, we hear him say « will is my friend » a lot and it shows how it is important to him. maybe his first true friend, the first time he thought he could unveil himself to someone. but first he needed will to accept his thoughts, accept what he was and he tried but it didn’t work (for now).

will is a killer it's in him even if his encephalitis acted on it it was something that was always inside him. that’s why he understands criminal behaviors so much, it’s because he desire to be them. will’s empathy and his encephalitis had gotten too much space in will’s brain that it didn’t have a place to think about acting on it or even a place for hannibal.

his side of relationship with hannibal is a bit more complicated. he felt comfortable with him, he could be completely honest. the lines between him being his psychiatrist and his friend were blurred. in contrast of hannibal we never hear will refer him as a friend or even as his doctor. he doesn’t know what hannibal is to him. he loves hannibal's company and trusted him more than anything but i don't think he was in love or at least knew he was for now. he was going through too much to even care about his feelings. On top of that i don't think he really liked alana romantically. he needed romantical love and alana was the only choice he had. he craved love not alana

the relationship between Hannibal and will is unique and special. it's neither purely romantic or entirely platonic, at least not at the moment.

for hannibal will changed everything in his life. his kills had always been planed, meticulous, leaving no traces behind and no witnesses, yet the kills we saw were reckless and with a motive: will. framing will was not out of desire or deliberated from the very beginning but more something he thought off as he went to protect himself, and to protect will from him. he loves cannibalism and killing more than anything nor anyone and he wouldn't let anyone take it from him even his best friend.

hannibal realized he loved will when will got arrested and that's why he cried because he lost will (and abigail) bc he lost family.

so many people guessed he was a serial killer. so many years of killing never getting caught and in such a short period of time he got shown. its because for the first time he had feelings, he had empathy not for his victims but for will and abigail.

he loves abigail like his daughter yes he manipulated her a lot but he cared for her like will did . he saw himself in abigail. she is a perfect mix of will and hannibal in personality, in her sociopath tendencies.

i love the show i hate gore but im loving the crimes here. the artistry and the cinematography is so good and beautiful. even the cannibalism doesn't disgust me bc hannibal is making fine culinary with it. everything is elevated.

#hannigram #hannibal #hannibal lecter #will graham #mads mikkelsen #hugh dancy #hannibal nbc #nbc hannibal

[airbenderedacted]

NO YOU NOTICE IT TOO???? EVERY NICE/OPTIMISTIC CHARACTER IS ALWAYS HEADCANONED AS PAN QND I??? HUH????? Not that there's anything wrong with being pan, I'm mspec myself, but it's ALWAYS the happy go lucky characters and I??? 😭

IT'S,,,.,...,.

#mango-mya #like ig i wanna cut some slack to the very young kids who're doing it bc they're still learning and figuring things out and uhhh yeah #they're gravitating to what makes sense to them n i think lots of them dont have the concept of sexuality fully separated from personalty- #-in their heads yet. bc character tropes and flanderizations and stereotypes are easier to ''get'' #so tl;dr it's easier for them to get p submerged in stereotypes bc they're still new to everything n stereotypes r by definition Everywhere #it doesnt make it less Not Great & they do need to learn better but ik it's not done w like. malice / willful ignorance (mmost of the time) #BUT OLDER FOLKS........ GROWN PEOPLE PERPETUATING THIS STUFF.............. MASSIVE MASSIVE SIDE-EYE. BC WHHY R U STILL THINKING THIS STUFF! #the lack of self-reflection is NOT it 😔‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️ #IT'S LITERALLY JUST ABT ATTRACTION SO WHY ARE U OUT HERE THINKING THAT SWEETER/NICER = NO GENDER PREFERENCES??!? NO!!!!! #THAT SAYS REALLY BACKHANDED THINGS ABT PEOPLE WHO ARE GAY/LESBIAN/STRAIGHT (& ARO/ACE EVEN) !!!!!! OUGHGFGFYGFHHGHGGHHh #ofc you can be a kid & maliciously internalize shitty things like that too but imho the older/experienced you are the more likely this is #w/ age comes wisdom and all that. MASSIVE alarm bells if someone thinks these things and has been around queer communities a lot #atp that's a sign of it being kiNDA DELIBERATE ourgh #and yea the inverse is true to certain degrees. you can be older but super new & ignorant abt lgbt+ stuff but uh. in this specific case.. #a lot of it is just...... bro... all you have to do is think a little. just a little. abt why niceness =/= sexuality. willfully ignorant sh #blaaagh #OH! And ofc: there's nothing INHERENTLY wrong w/ hcing characters like this as pan / etc. #you can make lgbt+ hcs influenced by personality ofc - it IS kinda best to lowkey Not but ykw it depends on how you're going abt it!!! #(*cough* LEAVE NICENESS/FRIENDLINESS OUT OF IT 😀🙏) #& it's not bad & evil for a character to fit some ~~stereotypes~~ bc those fr aren't always a bad thing!! sometimes it's legit commonalitie #but if stereotypes are ALL you ever do... if you knee-jerk leap onto WEIRD/NASTY stereotypes... if you base sexuality on niceness/goodness. #YUEAH THAT IS NOT FUCKING GOOD AND SOME SELF-REFLECTION NEEDS TO BE HAD... LIKE BOATLOADS OF SELF-REFLECTION NEEDS TO BE HAD #and really any time you're looking to a charcater's personality to come up w/ ur hcs... #(which will probably be often bc honestly what influences hcs in general more than that?) #just take a second to ask yourself if you're tapping into any personal biases/misconceptions/alladat !! #most of the time it isn't a question of ''would this look wrong?'' but rather just ''am i looking at this wrong?'' #sexuality is just who you have the hots for!!!! not how kindly or wholesome or open you are! (that's just action/expression not orientation #(´･ω･`) 👍👍 #.......sorry i rambled so much here. i'm on my meds today 😅 #my brain has too many thoughts in it and things to say like Always aohgbhbvsfs

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

#just turning over the idea of executive functioning issues in my head part by part. impulse control. im extremely tightly controlled. im the #best at control. the only times im impulsive is when someone asks me something and my brain doesn't work well in the moment so i tend to b #like fuck it: says something that might fuck me over later bc im like whatever itll prob b fine lol. but mostly not an issue. emotional #control. i dont lash out at ppl except myself i guess. ill sometimes have freak out meltdowns bc i get so frustrated with myself plus mood #weirdness. so not great. flexible thinking. im pretty rigid. if plans randomly change theres like a 1 in 3 chance ill freak out and start #crying and it takes me a long time to adjust to the idea that i have to chsnge something. and things tend to have to b a certain way #not for any reason in particular. thats just how it has to b. i have to eat the same foods. operate at the same times. do thr same things. #thats just how it is. and i find it difficult in social situations to adapt to the flow of convention bc its like but we're talking abt thi #now but something just interrupted and we aren't going abck to that thing. i dont make it other ppls problem but its uncomfortable for me. #working memory. my memory is pretty fucked. self monitoring. im good at that. too good. im pathologically self reflective. planning & #prioritizing. i can plan but i cant prioritize for shit. i will spiral for hours doing nothing bc i can't decide what comes 1st. #task initation. im good at torturing myself into getting things done but i anxiously avoid a lot of things but once i start its like: im in #this mode now. no i cant fucking stop i need this to b done. i need to sit here and finish it otherwise i wont come back to it. i cant do #moderation its all or nothing. all school and nothing outside of that. cant send mail. cant clean sink. i see it and kno i need to do it an #then i just walk away from the disaster area. organization. is ok. it looks a disaster but i only exist in like 3 places so i dont lose #things often but i dont remember where i put things once i put them down i have to deduce where i would have put it. does that paint the #picture of executive functioning issues or rigid and restrictive compulsive behavior paired with self destructive impulses leading to #absolute mental exhaustion which is y things arent getting done? could b either or both. idk my ability to do things 95% of the way and wal #away leaving a mess that ill never come back to strikes me more as the former but what do i #still its worth considering bc i do have an amazing to control myself in a way that's completely out of my control. maybr my start/stop #switch is just fucked idk. slow down and reorient says my counselor u never stop to rest. shes right but also im a grad student stopping #would mean death u gotta keep swimming and doing more than u should. thats how it is #but im so tired and i only get more and more tired. so somethings gotta give eventually #unrelated #i forgot focus. my focus is good sometimes and sometimes my brain is moving too fast and i cant focus at all. its static #but focus is not a thing i cna control

[zstraps]

actually really love that they didn’t have ed give a perfect heartfelt apology. like a) leaning into the workplace comedy vibe “we’re trying to move the culture forward” was so fucking funny, A+ no notes. and also b) i love that it’s a little messy. that healing doesn’t happen through a single group conversation. everybody’s healing happens differently and on their own. roach “what’s an apology” lastname is just like. eh good enough for me. jim and olu and archie recognize that it’s not a real apology, but also that they can’t force it to be one, and they choose to let themselves move on and start to laugh and relax again. lucius tries a lot of shit for catharsis but ultimately his healing starts with him shifting his focus from reliving his traumatic experiences, to what he wants for the future and being present with black pete. fang is ok not bc he’s ok with what ed did but bc he’s sat with what ed’s done to him and what he now did to ed and done some self-reflection. and ed’s healing starts with a one-on-one conversation with fang and some quiet reflective time with himself and a meditative hobby. healing happens in bits and pieces, individually or in smaller groups, on different timelines.

#ofmd #ofmd meta #ofmd s2 spoilers #z.op

[kairiscorner]

when drunk miggy <33

drunk miggy headcanons

this is how i imagine the stages of drunkenness for miggy play out: sober but a little dazed, quiet, cranky, sleepy and sad, giddy.

sober but dazed is pretty tame and self-explanatory, he's still partially there for the most part, but when you talk to him, all you get are, "huh?"s and "nu-uh"s as he keeps swigging his drink.

then when you get to the quiet drunk miggy stage, he can barely hear what you're saying, all he can hear are his thoughts, which are amplified by the lack of sobriety he's feeling right now. he points out such obvious stuff like, "wow, jess' hair is so frizzy", "damn, peter's got a weird laugh", "lego peter is really cute". he also reflects a bit on recent shit that's happened, like a lot of regrets he's had about missions and judgements he's made, a lot of thinking, "i regret doing that".

when he's had a lot more to drink, he becomes slightly dependent upon the liquor to keep his thoughts as the only things he hears throughout the night. the effect of the liquor where his hearing becomes fuzzy wears off and he starts to hear everything, causing for the cranky drunk miggy stage to begin. every little thing is so audibly loud and irritating that he wants to leave and scream at everyone if they make another sound. this is when he usually leaves the drinking fray and waddles back to his office, with lyla preparing everything he needs to recover from his drunk and hungover stupor in the morning.

but when he doesn't leave, he becomes more emotional and tired as he steps foot in the sleepy and sad stage. he experiences just a general fatigue and lethargy from everything that's happened as of late. he says sorry for everything, he clings on to the nearest person and will most likely sob all over them. you can push him away if he gets too overwhelming, but that'd make him sob harder. he's so scared of being rejected and alone that the only way to quell him is to let him mellow in his pent up sadness. he'd apologize for hurting/lashing out at you, be it that night or any other time he might've lost his cool, which is probably all the time tbh.

then the last stage is the giddy stage, where if you haven't lost your patience with him before, you might now because he gets all over you. he isn't in the right state of mind anymore, it's this subconsciously loving and touchy miggy that you bear witness to, get all clingy and points out everything he loves about you; everything from your face, to your body, to your personality, to your toughness. it's the deepest part of miggy that he keeps hidden away from everyone else, and it's this side of him that's the realest. he'd say sorry for everything still but do it while embracing you, kissing you all over, and just nuzzling the crook of your neck while giggling and snuggling against you. it's the sweet miggy he tries to keep under wraps that you find with you.

a/n: if you guys use these headcanons, please tag me and credit me babes! i'd love to see what you guys make out of him ( ⸝⸝´꒳`⸝⸝) oh, and once my suit miggy fic is done, expect more drunk miggy content :> (or while i'm making it bc i'm so inconsistent TEEHEE)

tags !! @thecoolerdor @miguelswifey04

#miguel o'hara #miguel o'hara x reader #miguel x reader #across the spiderverse #miguel o'hara x you #miguel o'hara fanfiction #atsv miguel #atsv spiderman #atsv #atsv imagines #drunk miggy

[cringefail-clown]

Jakehal is very fun. But why dirkkri? I dont understand what's appealing about it :? confused

theres a lot of things i like about dirkri and honestly i dont even know where to start lmfao

first of all, and its mostly a funny reason - davekat on crack. like some traces of davekat are still there - the arguing about shit, stoic facade vs emotional mess, all the good stuff, but its also so much more exaggerated it makes it this much more ridiculous. gets even better when you consider them under the lense of swap aus like alphaswitch or tbau, where they land on the meteor together. theyre most likely hunting each other for sports by the year two

second of all, the funney. theyd be so fucking funny together. their smallest arguments would take like twenty pages of non-stop flow of red-orange text to resolve, and not because they came to a consensus but because some third party physically dragged them away from their electronics. it doesnt do any good, since it only gives them both time to think over new arguments to use, and theyre back at it as soon as they get their phones back. like if we had a tournament about which ship would do the most collateral damage to the overall group, i think these two would be Up There. karkat would gauge his eyes out from frustration, because now not only does he have to deal with his piece of shit, know-it-all other self, but now theres also Fucking Dirk thrown into the mix. their home life is absolute insanity, a small jab about the other forgetting to buy sugar once again devolves into a screaming match about the merits and flaws of communism or some other inane shit. and theyre doing it for fun, they enjoy debating with each other, because often times they have vastly different opinions, and comparing their beliefs challenges them intelectually and morally. from the outside perspective theyre one of the most dysfunctional pair in the paradox space, when in fact thats simply how they want their relationship to be, and it makes them better people overall.

third reason is that theyre thematically delicious. dirk is a control freak, micromanaging his and his friends constantly. hes terrified of losing control, but hes also desperate for someone to just tell him what the fuck he should do. dirk doesnt think he should be in control of others, because he believes hes a naturally evil person capable of horrible acts, at the same time he doesnt trust anyone else to get things done but himself. hes a whole collection of contradictions.

kankri desperately needs to be in control as well. hes constantly injecting himself into conversations he has no business being in, trying to find someone thatd listen to what he has to say. hes wants to guide others, but his efforts are flawed, because he doesnt listen to other perspectives - hes got tunnel vision, as he thinks hes the one in the right while everyone else is wrong or ignorant (cringefail seer literally). he doesnt trust anyone else to make decisions for him, and becomes defensive when he thinks others are attempting to coddle him. his ass was definitely culled on beforus.

theyre also both so fucking lonely. dirk conciously tries to put difference between himself and his friends, worrying hell "corrupt" them. kankri tries to connect to his friends, but his behavior alienates him from them to the point of no one except maybe porrim want to have anything to do with him.

my point is, kankri wants to guide people but has to learn to listen to others and reflect on his own flawed opinions. dirk has to learn to trust that people closest to him can get shit done on their own and loosen up, as well as realise hes not evil at the core. them helping each other out - dirk teaching kankri about different perspectives, kankri teaching dirk about letting others do their thing - is something i think about a lot.

also i like to think theyd spar for fun a lot as well. its not really a reason and wholly my own personal headcanon but i wanna mention it as well bc its so funny to me. i like the idea of kankris behaviour being a complete reverse of karkat - where karkat is all bark no bite and doesnt like fighting or violence, kankri puts up a front of the beacon of love and peace and tolerance, but in his free time he gets his rifle and goes shooting at the fucking squirrels or some shit. i think he wouldnt have the same qualms about strifing as karkat. like dirk would try to jokingly jab his finger at kankris side and he would just fucking flip him over his shoulder and onto the table breaking it in half, because he doesnt like being touched unexpectedly and by gods dirk when will you fucking learn. he goes from 0 to 100 real fast. its such a hysterical concept for me.

#homestuck #dirk strider #kankri vantas #dirkri #dirkkri #turnabout au #homestuck turnabout #alphaswitch #tagging it as well bc well. dirkri #is it dirkri manifesto? its dirkri manifesto #wally where are you i need your words tell em tell em why dirkri is so fucking good

[wikiangela]

fuck it friday

tagged by @tizniz @bidisasterbuckdiaz @honestlydarkprincess 💖💖

still on my bucktommy bs, I'll be back to buddie but i'm too obsessed with tommy/lou to think about anything else rn lol

so here's a bit of something short I'm wiriting for 7x05 from tommy's pov, idk what this is, what it's gonna be, but I wanna finish it tonight or maybe by the end of the weekend so posting it here to motivate myself and also tell me what y'all think bc the more i reread all of it the more i doubt myself lol

___

It took him some time, plus a lot of self-reflection and just taking it one step at a time, letting himself look at other men, this time consciously and sometimes deliberately, noticing how hot they are, how they make him feel. He let himself feel how they make him feel. It took a minute to stop feeling guilty and ashamed, and to rework all those internalized prejudices that had been ingrained in him his whole life.

He gave himself time, a lot of time, started with just chatting with guys on dating apps, later got the courage for some casual dates, and when he met the man who would be his first actual boyfriend, his first gay relationship, that he genuinely liked, he felt ready to pursue that. It didn’t work out then, that’s just life, but it was a good relationship, because he was ready for it. Now he feels settled and comfortable with himself, feels confident, and knows what he wants. And he wants- he wants love. He doesn’t want to put any pressure on any relationship he might start, but ultimately, that’s the goal. Love. 

He really doesn’t mind being this first to Evan. He likes Evan. He has those bright blue eyes that seem to shine their own light, and that wide, excited smile that makes it impossible not to smile back, with that adorable dimple accompanying it, that makes Tommy melt a little every time he sees it. Plus, those perfect, kissable lips he can’t wait to taste again, and the distinctive birthmark just adding to the charm. And he’s big and strong and so hot, too. And he’s just so nice, and so adorable and endearing, and he’s so easy to talk to. Tommy just wants to keep getting to know him, spend time with him, develop this relationship and see where it can go. And with any luck, maybe this one could last, could be something real.

The thing is, Tommy is ready for serious. He can take it slow, give Evan time to figure everything out, but he’d also like to know where he stands. He would never want to pressure him to come out before he’s ready, but he also knows he doesn’t want to be anyone’s dirty little secret. Been there, done that.

Still, he would be fine with keeping it just to him and Evan for now, for as long as Evan needs. But then…

___

no pressure tags: @elvensorceress @thebravebitch @shortsighted-owl @eddiebabygirldiaz @watchyourbuck @eowon @loserdiaz @evanbegins @ladydorian05 @wildlife4life @diazpatcher @lover-of-mine @monsterrae1 @thewolvesof1998 @neverevan @weewootruck @loveyouanyway @spagheddiediaz @rainbow-nerdss @epicbuddieficrecs @pirrusstuff @spotsandsocks @alliaskisthepossibilityoflove @nmcggg @rogerzsteven @giddyupbuck @sunshinediaz @underwater-ninja-13 @exhuastedpigeon @911-on-abc @jesuisici33 @steadfastsaturnsrings @theotherbuckley @buddieswhvre @dangerpronebuddie @diazsdimples @fortheloveofbuddie @hoodie-buck @your-catfish-friend @hippolotamus @daffi-990

#7x05 tommy pov fic #fuck it friday #idk im creating a whole backstory for him lmao #idk this is supposed to about him thinking buck's not ready idk what i'm doing #also idk where im going with this fr i just wanted to take a crack at getting into his head #the problem is as much as i love him he's new and i don't have a grasp on him yet like i do with buddie lol #so idk what this is gonna turn into lmao #but the smutty continuation to that other bucktommy fic is coming too! just gonna take longer haha #fic snippet #wikiangela writes #my writing #my wips #911 fic #911 abc #bucktommy #tommy kinard #evan buckley #buck x tommy #bucktommy fic #911 spoilers

[p0rchc0ll4ps3]

kim............. just some headcanons for how i characterize him. i might be missing somethings. i might add to this. this is very disorganized but it's fine

He wears cologne

He was raised by a Dolores dei church orphanage, hence why he’s very slightly religious (he prays. Occasionally. And he’s respectful in churches)

He’s very attached to his car, refers to it in his head with she/her and sees it as a motherly figure

Eyes didn’t die immediately. Instead Kim had to watch over him and take care of him, just like with harry, but eyes died in his sleep

Kim has a serious amount of self-loathing and is REALLY critical of himself due to shit when he was a kid and the shit he got working juvie

As such he really likes how harry much worships him

He likes to listen to insulindian classical music like operas and symphonies because as a kid the church orphaning him tried to indoctrinate him and erase his culture. He didn’t even have any culture, and all they ended up doing was making him love the country. This is also why he knows so much history

He also listens to it as a big fuck you to the fascists bc it’s fascist music (bc it’s really national, like the music of the country) and the fascists would hate to know someone who looks like him listens to their music

As a kid, the orphanage referred to him by last name, so he refers to himself by his last name in his head because it’s a way of being formal with himself and keeping up his image (also kinda’ says he is his own father figure, since the closest thing to a father figure he had was the dolorian priest that ran the orphanage, and he referred to all the kids by their last names)

The only person who ever referred to kim by his first name was eyes who was the only other person who really saw Kim for who he was

Kim used to be a really pissed off kid, and he used to respond to injustice with rage, but it kept getting him into trouble. Eyes had to teach him how to calm down and deal with the shit, and he was the only person who was kind to Kim

Kim reflects a lot of what eyes taught him in his own interactions with people; it’s why he gives people the benefit of doubt, and it’s why he’s so kind to harry. It’s kinda’ like eyes passed the mentorship down to Kim and now Kim’s teaching harry

Kim genuinely tries to be kind with people because he doesn’t want anyone to have to deal with the shit he’s dealt with

He doesn’t like to ask for help though. Has a real hard time with that because that shows vulnerability

Kim has a little picture of eyes in his wallet and he talks to him and updates him when he misses him. He will never get over his death. He will tear himself apart about it forever. He seriously still blames himself for eyes’s death, even though he did all he could, and he’s spent many nights replaying it over in his head to see how he could’ve done it better

Kim’s buried the “Kim” in him so deep, he’s started to be closed off even when he’s alone, always putting on a false face, pretending he’s much more put together and professional than he is internally. The only time he really lets loose is when he’s in the kineema alone, and sometimes in his room in the dark

Harry calls him Kim so much, Kim starts to love himself again Otherwise he’s just trying to ignore the past, trying to fix the past, or trying to keep himself together. He’s afraid if he relaxes even once, he’ll slip up

He has some kinda’ general anxiety disorder, very well stifled, but it comes up when harry does anything stupid or late at night after a long day when he worries if he said the wrong thing earlier. He’s always trying to make sure things r going smoothly, and he deals with mistakes really badly (internally. On the outside he’s professional as hell about them)

He’s very hard on himself and thinks really lowly of himself

He thinks he’s never been anyone’s favorite person (even if there was eyes, he thought eyes was too cool for him, and that Kim could never be as cool as him (though eyes wanted to tell him how much he meant to him, but he couldn’t because he DIED))

He’s kinda’ silly. He has a lot of interests he’s picked up from the kids he’s worked with such as really harsh electronic music and wirral, among others (though he likes the electronic music bc it makes him feel like shit)

He’s really nerdy / geeky. Likes machines, cars, has a very specific obsession with aerostatics. He has so many books he’s read over and over. He just thinks they’re really cool. Something always fascinated him about flight. Maybe because it’s so freeing

I think his cosplay is literally something he just does for fun because he can get away with it. It makes him feel cool. He’s always in the pursuit of being cool

He likes games he can micromanage where there’s a lot of moving parts he has to strategize really deeply. It gives him a challenge and it’s also a sense of control

He’s always taking notes. He’s gone through so many notebooks. He’s afraid if he doesn’t write things down, he’ll miss something important that’ll get someone killed, but also it’s a way to pay attention to what someone’s saying without having to look at them (meaning he doesn’t have to act a certain way. It gives him a break)

He writes his notes in shorthand. Harry can read them, just like harry knows French (innate things he never forgot)

He’s got a lot of rage in him that he’s gotten really good at controlling, but it comes back out when anyone’s racist towards him or thinks less of him, though he tries really hard to keep it down

He’s scared to open up because it’s gotten him really hurt before.

He’s got wall after wall built up around his soul

He has a little box he tries to stay in where it’s safe, and when things challenge that, or when things try to pull him out of the box, he insists on staying in the box because he’s scared of leaving it because things outside the box are no longer under his control

Harry’s slowly loosening him up and Kim’s learning how to let go a little more bc harry keeps challenging him and pulling him out of that box (like with the cryptids. Kim’s like that shit’s not real shut up I don’t want my reality challenged with even the Consideration that there are things beyond my control. And harry’s like well Kim the nature of the universe is that everything is out of your control and either you succumb to it and ride it or you die. Also cryptids Are real and I’m gonna find them and you’re coming with me. And then they DO find them. And it’s so freeing for Kim to let go and let things happen to him and to like. Actually experience the world without the fear that he starts to let himself be a lot more open to it all. (Plus he trusts that if harry’s there, it’ll all be ok. That if something gets fucked, they can work through it together. He’s never had anyone else to work through shit with. He finally doesn’t have to do everything alone.))

The pale freaks him out bc it’s the ultimate unknown. He doesn’t like thinking about it, he doesn’t like talking about it, he just pretends it doesn’t exist / doesn’t dwell on it

Also after eyes dies, he has no one to back him up and support him anymore, so he really toughens up and hardens and gets his Cool Exterior after that. It’s big protection thing, and also in the very beginning he tries to manifest and become eyes bc he has no fucking clue how to deal with losing him other than becoming him. He’s slowly dropped off that, but he still tries to be cool and put together and professional. Its bc of the racism he has to be tough and bc he was working juvie he always couldn’t act his age even though he was an adult (and he really doesn’t want to be seen as a child anymore. He wants to be Trusted to handle things like an adult). He was also scared the grief was getting to him and he was scared of how much control he was losing

WAIT I FORGOT HE'S GAY THAT'S ANOTHER REASON WHY HE TRIES TO BE PROFESSIONAL ok thank you that's all. for now

#c4rg0f1l3s #my writing #disco elysium #disco elysium spoilers #kim kitsuragi #harry du bois #kimharry #idk feel free to add i may or may not adopt them into my lexicon #ive seen posts also i took some things from those like the music one (his liking bad music) #but most of this is mine #ummm. grasps him. yeah that's all #marfă din elysium

[kelseytheballerina]

what made you realise you were acting vain and how did you change it?

It wasn’t just me enjoying the fun or relaxation of it anymore, it was a serious pursuit. So take my enjoyment of luxury goods for example. I like buying bags and shoes and stuff bc I think they are pretty and I just like them for what they are. I don’t make an idol of it, I don’t think it makes me better than anyone, and if God showed up and told me to leave it behind I would do it before he even finished the sentence bc I don’t actually place too much importance on it. I can wear a chanel or a random unbranded bag from amazon and it wouldn’t make a difference. But when it came to former beauty practices, I did care. A lot. The thought of not being done up a certain way was no longer simply about self care but caring far too much about how others were perceiving me and how I was looking in relation to others. Always wanting to be the shining star in the room. I was also doing it for personal enjoyment and for beauty’s sake but there were other dubious thoughts bubbling under the surface and they weren’t healthy. It was giving me a false sense of superiority and for what?

It was weird bc I would see other vain girls and feel a distaste for them even though we were exhibiting the same traits. So I was really seeing myself and not liking the reflection, if that makes sense. There’s a difference between confidence and arrogance. There’s a difference between doing something because you like it and feel like doing it vs feeling like you have to even when you don’t authentically feel like it. My views on beauty are very relaxed now and although I very much enjoy my routines and the end result, it is not an idol in my life and I am fully shining in simply doing what I want/like and feeling no pressure of any sort to be as pleasing to the biggest pool of people as I was before.

Being pretty, dressing cute, it doesn’t make me better than anyone else. It doesn’t make me worth more. It doesn’t mean I deserve more or am entitled to demand better. Yes I knew that before but I wasn’t behaving that way 100% of the time. All it means is that I like having curled hair and eyeliner. That’s it.

Whenever I take breaks from the extra outward adornments (just wearing my hair curly, no makeup, etc), I don’t feel any better or worse about myself bc it’s been taken off of a pedestal in my life. 2021 was definitely the height of my vanity and I’m glad I don’t have that same mindset anymore. You can enjoy looking good and taking really good care of yourself without being snooty or insufferable about it and somehow I was really annoying that year lmao! But it’s funny bc I got a lot of followers that year so people loved it but after a while I realized that I wasn’t as proud of my behavior and I didn’t think it was showing upstanding character. At the end of the day, getting 50k notes on a post and gaining a bunch of followers doesn’t mean anything if I’m not proud of who I’m becoming when I put the phone down.

I am a very visual person and I love beauty and will always enjoy partaking in beauty routines, but it doesn’t mean I have to be vain.

#ask

[linddzz]

Whooooo! I found ya! Down to business:

Are there any fic recommendations for baggin/shield or pitch/frost that you like(d)?

I am absolutely feral

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaand…..

What are 3 of your most favorite fics that you’ve ever read?

Ya found me! Let me say that the notifications of someone going through old fics and commenting are ambrosia. You are a treasure and a saint of a person!

And oh man I had to dive into my old bookmarks for these! I'm good at remembering snippets or vibes of fics but not the fics themselves. I will warn that a lot of my fave pitch/jack stuff tended to be pretty dark. It's not like, a thing I regret or say is wrong, and I still enjoy/love a lot of it! I was in a dark place mentally and that reflected in the stuff I was reading and creating. Who actually has a good time in their early to mid 20s?

Mostly warning because most of my stuff since then skirts the edges or flirts with the darkness but doesn't feel that need to go deep diving.

Second warning is there may be less here than you'd think! The more I write for a ship the less I read, because my brain gets very dumb and the self doubt gets Real Bad. This is all non-exhaustive of course! I wouldn't even say this is my Best of The Best it's just what's coming to mind at the moment. There's way more in the AO3 bookmarks

Pitch/Jack fics

In the Dark - series by @charmed7293 romancing the monster under the bed is maybe not always the best idea

The Syntax of Programming Languages, and, Why Some Code Talks in Accents - by Midievil. I'm biased here bc this was a gift fic inspired by my The Device Has Been Modified, but it done showed me up bc it was written by someone who knows more about actual coding than me

Shadows and Light - this series by @not-poignant is The Classic of the ship. Since you liked Things That Were you'd most definitely like this one. And unlike me, Pia actually finishes things!

I swear to God there were a lot of fics by @insufferablearchanist that I loved but they nuked their old AO3 and I can't ever remember shit.

Thorin/Bilbo fics

Prayers to Broken Stone - @avelera the beauty and the beast flavored au you didn't know you wanted

Comfort in the Sound - by northerntrash. Ok. Yes. It's Bilbo/Thorin/Bofur but like. Trust me on this. Road trip throuple shenanigans

Patchwork Robe - @hallsofstone2941 I am not immune to stupidly adorable modern college au one-shots

Possession - aljira. You liked Sanzigil, you'll like this :)

Marriage in the Manner of Dwarves - series by diemarysues

Other Fandom Faves (that come to mind. I've been reading fanfic since like 2002 ok there's a lot that has made impressions over the years that I just lost track of dkdjdk)

Taking Everyone For A Ride - by Nonymos. Venom/Eddy+Anne/Dan. typical Eldritch shenanigans plus polyamory. Unhinged and weird, just how I like em

The Only Way Out Is Down - @avelera Newt/Hermann. The second PR movie was so bad I wanna erase it from my memory but my god did it spawn some AMAZING fics, including this one that rewired my brain

After Zero - by what_alchemy Newt/Hermann. A bunch of delightful smut

The Wine Dark Sea - @moorishflower Dream/Hob. Siren! Dream au. Jesus Christ. Holy fuck. Goddamn. Gorgeous, monstrous, surreal, Unhinged4Unhinged behavior. Listen. I work with octopuses. I know what their arms feel like and that has ruined almost all tentacle shenanigans for me ok?? This fic got past that hangup.

If I Please You - @moorishflower Dream/Hob. It feels like a modern retelling of an old medieval fairy romance goddamn

And finally. This series. The series.

So. I very recently refound this series and I'm almost hesitant to post it. Because as I was reading it again I kept having to put it down and sit in horror at the realization that I read this fic when I was in college and it actually rewired my brain. I realized everything I have written was trying to recapture what this fic did to my synapses. I was chasing after vibes that I did not realize originated in this fic for me. Me sharing this risks everyone who reads it and has read my stuff also going "ooohhhh you're just doing this again huh?"

It is the very specific combination of "Character A: openly unhinged, obsessive, violently romantic and unnerving/Character B: seems so chill and just happily rolls with CharacterA being insane, because they are also secretly insane." It's the combo of a codependent bonkers relationship with humorous banality of their day-to-day.

It's also a Johnlock fic.

Anyway, The Paradox Series rewired my brain so deeply that I didn't even realize it rewired my brain until over a decade later. I swear I have been unaware of how much my writing has been leaning on what this did to my brain.

#fic recs #i cannot stress enough how non exhaustive this is dkfjdkdj #refound the paradox series like a month ago and kept having a fuckin crisis about it to my friends #like UH OH IVE JUST BEEN SNATCHING THIS FICS ENTIRE VIBE THE WHOLE TIME

[bestworstcase]

I don’t know what it means but.

Ruby talking with Qrow (I believe) in V7 when she compares herself to Oz, and Qrow saying “No you’re better than him you’re waiting to see who you can trust vs never giving anyone the chance to be trusted”

And now Ruby saying what’s the point of anything if Salem has the relics now and Yang saying “That’s how Ironwood thought. You don’t mean that”

The WAY Oz and Ironwood carried out their plans was Bad but they didn’t start at the deep end. Their thoughts didn’t spawn all of their actions. Ruby having doubts and seeing Oz’s perspective of being wary of who to trust doesn’t mean she’ll turn out like him. Ruby showing she’s upset and mad that things seem to be turning out useless despite their efforts doesn’t mean she regrets saving the people they saved. Or trying to save them.

The way Ruby hasn’t been able to openly doubt herself around others or say things that others see as “thinking like Ironwood” or “you’re better than Oz” is so prominent in episode 7. And I’m not saying she was wrong in anything I’m on her defense squad rn from ppl who are doing what the characters in the show did. They are Hearing her words but they aren’t Listening. WHY is she better than Oz when she thinks she’s doing the same thing. WHAT has caused her to Think like Ironwood. Why can’t she mean what she says why can’t she be negative. Where is the person to lift her up about herself. Not the plan not the team but just Ruby Rose

I don’t think I’m explaining this properly I’m not mad at anyone bc they didn’t know how she felt. I’m just trying to point out connecting things in the show and how “We’ll be better than blank”, in Ruby’s mind, can’t just be something to say when Qrow is mad at Oz (rightfully) or Yang is worried she sounds like Ironwood (the man they just had to save a kingdom from)

V9. Misinformation. Miscommunication. Blinded by your own emotions. Resistant to change. Not listening. It’s felt so Real it’s been so good I hope what I said makes sense it’s just the Be Better Than The Old Mentors vs just bc we won’t do things the same way doesn’t mean we won’t ever feel like they felt or have the same doubts or worry that what they did might’ve been The Best in their mind at the time. Lack of perspective. How you can be the villain to those you’re trying to save. It’s a lot sorry I rambled so much

pushing pause real quick here, anon, the anxiety pouring out of this ask about being misinterpreted as bashing this or that character is really palpable and bc of that i just want to like directly affirm that analytical discussion of character flaw or the narrative construction of a conflict isn’t accusatory or condemnatory of the characters themselves. in this household we go buckwild for characters whose human imperfection is fully and honestly realized by the narrative <3

anyway yeah yeah exactly like

ever since these kids got looped into ozpin’s cult they’ve just been in this emotional vortex of—don’t be negative, don’t spread negativity. salem wants to divide us. we can’t let salem divide us. LOOK at how terrified they were in V8 of not being in unanimous agreement about whether to prioritize a long-term or short-term goal, how much jaune’s proposed compromise scared them. it’s profoundly dysfunctional. they don’t know how to differentiate normal, constructive debate and infighting, or critical self-reflection and harmful negativity, so they are constantly hyper-vigilant constantly monitoring and policing each other for the smallest sign of bad thoughts, bad feelings, because this war they inherited isn’t a war against salem, not really, it’s a war against this nebulous idea of division, of conflict, of negativity, of the bad things that will see humankind condemned to extermination when the gods come back.

and like:

YANG: Okay, Ironwood wants Penny, otherwise Mantle is done for. So, how do we stop him?

BLAKE: Qrow and Robyn are still in his custody, and May said that the Atlas security drones are watching the crater, so they’re trapped too.

OSCAR: And Salem isn’t going to stay gone forever.

RUBY: So then it’s impossible.

EMERALD: See? If Miss Hero with all the answers doesn’t have an answer, then we have ours.

WEISS: Shut up.

YANG: Why don’t you just leave?!

OSCAR: Can we please just give each other a chance? Emerald’s not with Salem anymore, and Ozpin is back. All this doubt and worry and distrust, it isn’t getting us anywhere—

RUBY: Then nothing has CHANGED! We’re in the exact same spot we were yesterday, arguing what to do while the kingdom waits to die.

^ she ran away then, too. and yang went after her thinking that ruby needed a pep talk, needed to be told that sure things are bad and risks don’t always pay off, but the mom who abandoned them both for the world’s sake is still her hero—when what ruby actually, desperately needed to hear, what she’s PLEADING for now, is for someone to tell her it’s okay to feel bad, it’s okay to have doubts, it’s okay to just be overwhelmed. that it ISN’T FAIR for the fate of the world to sit on her shoulders and that the world will not end if she admits that it’s too fucking heavy, if she asks for help, if she puts it down.

and that’s what makes it sting so much when her doubts and fears and frustration get brushed off like those feelings don’t matter or aren’t true or, worse, like it’s wrong for her to feel this way at all—it’s a manifestation of this, like, existential terror of Innate Badness that lurks in the heart of ozpin’s cult, don’t feel bad don’t think bad thoughts or else—or else what? “salem will divide us” but it’s so easy for that line of thinking to shade into “only bad people have bad thoughts,” because feeling bad IS bad in and of itself, right. like fundamentally this is how the strict ideological delineation between hero, villain, and passive narrative object enforces itself: the villains surrender to negativity and so become themselves agents of this Badness while the heroes stand as beacons of hope and inspiration to the defenseless masses—who otherwise would of course succumb to negativity (“panic”) and be obliterated. baked into the cult’s ideology is an unspoken but perilously thin line between feeling bad and being bad.

you don’t mean that. that’s how ironwood thought. (you can’t mean that. only bad people think that way.)

and the real world just doesn’t fucking work that way—the world of remnant does not work that way—so this is an emotional poison, it’s toxic, they’re swimming around in a noxious soup of unspoken ideas that seeped into all of them to varying depth but percolated right down into the very bedrock of who ruby is—and while it killed them slowly it ate ruby alive. and now the bones of her are poking through the cracks and she has nothing left to give so the only way to move forward is to claw herself out of the soup!! (<- this metaphor ran away from me a bit.)

which somewhat ironically given what the first layer of her crisis is about, means ruby is going to lead the way out of this festering mess of a fairytale cult. by way of the desolate howl that this way of thinking is dehumanizing and inhumane

#rwby v9 spoilers #I AM FEELING VERY NORMAL. ABT THIS EPISODE

[graceetarot]

What does your person want to tell you ?

Pick a pile 1,2,3

Pile one ;

Your person wants to tell you that they have learned so much from you spiritually , they are very inspired on deeper level when it comes to spirituality, and feel you are a big part of this.

You balanced them out and they felt really completed and whole with you completed them, in some way. You filled something in them that they didn't know was missing in the first place. there's also a truth or something big they want to tell you, but they are not able to do at the current moment due to another love interest . Shows a distance energy due to a unbalanced and they are not able to pull it together just yet bc they are not yet healing nor taking any steps to change yet .

They miss the connection you both had deeply , but, before this can happen, what they have been keeping from you must be told n needs to be revealed. They are very strong minded on wanting you back at some point .also shows heavy jealous energy when you give attention to other people, even if it is just a friend.

Pile two ;

Your person wants to tell you they are sorry they over think , this is not because of you or something you have done but this is because of unheralded trauma, from relationships and from growing up.

They want you to make things easy for them, they lack the ability to heal or do extra for the relation right now , also shows guilt of some sort for something they have done in the past 3 months.

Shows everything going perfectly for a while , shows a lot of happiness ,& then something happened that caused a fall out , shows some sort of cheating , another person involved forsure. Shows cheating or lying about a emotional bond

They are taking the time right now to do some self reflection , and spiritual work. they truly regret what they did , and will reach out for forgiveness soon.

pile three ;

Your person would like to tell you they are doing some self reflecting & are understanding a little more on why they are the way they are and how they act, they have reached out to a spiritual guide and have started looking into what shadow work is, they haven’t been working for to long on it but they are very dedicated to taking on their demons , they have a issue with ignoring their own needs and right now they are being very hermit , and also cutting out anyone who is using the, or isn’t giving the same energy to them.

their happiness and peace is what means the most to them right now. This may be why they have been very passive with you, or very confused on your relation with them. Very big energy of them weighing out their options and trying to make the best choices for themselves and what they deserve . Shows over thinking & not wanting to have conflict , they will shut down. Give it space and time right now.

#tarot cards #tarotcommunity #magic #witchblr #tarotoftheday #tarot reading #tarot deck #pick a pile

[stateswscarlet]

i want to manifest my desired face whenever i dont see a movement i go crazy and the cycle starts again, i just wanna get my df but im tired of this cycle i always go back and nothing happens, i feel like all that thing is waste of time but at the same time ik its true cuz i've manifested a lot of things. but whenever it comes to my df i cant stop wanting it and after fulfilling myself i feel like it's done, but after 10 mins it happens again. i start to get mad at 3d again and its just so .. i cried becaus i want my df and 3d makes me crazy. i feel like nothing happens im so desperate i dont wanna read 823823 loa posts anymore i just want to be pretty as like others. i hate that feeling of 'trying so hard' hope u answer

<3

this genuinely makes my heart hurt :(

this is what i told another anon:

“unrelated, idk what youre desiring to change about your face but make sure you’re approaching it from love and not hating/disliking your current self. it makes me so sad whenever people tell me theyre manifesting a whole new face thinking itll make them happy, prettier, attention from people, etc and it wont at all. changes starts within and you are more than worthy of being just the way you are and treating yourself with love and compassion.”

please understand that “getting” a physical change will never ever ever ever take away your insecurities or make you happier, fulfilled, nor will it make you feel pretty from the inside. literally look at all the supermodels and stars who are drop dead gorgeous who we pine after who are incredibly insecure and are constantly hyperaware of their insecurities and flaws.

PLEASE i beg you the best thing you can do for yourself is practice self love RIGHT NOW the way you are. stop waiting for some ideal face before you chose to love yourself, as that day will never come. you will find more and more reasons to feel insecure and upset at the 3D and be running in an endless cycle “manifesting” things to change but you’ll never be satisfied.

you need to remove your dependence from the 3D/outer world by understanding it can never give you anything. go within and instead of focusing so much on your face changing focus instead on the feelings of being secure, safe, etc regardless. stop chasing shallow things like pretty privilege and attention and anything else you THINK your df will give you (spoiler: it wont give you any of that).

coming from someone who isn’t conventionally attractive and used to hate herself and her looks, it is SO important to love yourself and accept yourself the way you are first before expecting others to do that. i learned to love myself exactly the way i am. my inner shift changed my attitude and how i viewed myself which led to others reflecting that. i started getting attention, pretty privilege, etc (which now i know are just shallow things) without a single physical change.

i really hope you understand where im coming from anon. its not that you cant have your df, but if youre unable to love yourself right now you wont be able to love yourself with your df bc youll find a million other reasons not to. once you remove this from the pedestal you have it on (thinking itll make you pretty, etc) it will be much easier to focus on the feelings of security and anything else you desire.

[jewishbarbies]

So I debated for a long time whether to send this or not bc I explicitly do not want to equate what's happening in I/P to fiction or in any way trivialize the very real people who have died

But I find it incredibly ironic (in a bad way) how the leftist circles screaming about Zionism are the same circles that are STILL openly proudly fans of tv shows/books/movies that depict war in genuinely nuanced ways. Ways that EXPLICITLY contradict the black and white narratives exploding in leftist spaces.

So like. Did y'all miss the point or do you think nuance is for fiction only? There are innocent civilians on every side in war and civilians shouldn't be blamed for the actions of their governments --but only in fiction? In the real world it's fine to celebrate civilian casualties as long as they're Israeli? Guilt by association in fiction is bad but every Jewish person should be held accountable for the Israeli military???

Like I'm intentionally not naming any fandoms bc this SHOULDN'T be about fandoms, but the hypocrisy is killing me. They claim to be fans of the "killing civilians is bad even when they're from the Bad Culture™" shows but they're out in the real world denying (or worse celebrating) Oct 7th? They love the fictional characters who say "killing civilians is bad" but can't stand Jewish people mourning the civilians in israel? What???

(again, I'm really not trying to make this extremely real problem about fiction. I just mean the complete lack of self awareness I see every day has me ready to explode. )

no, i get what you mean. i definitely think there's a link between the massive drop in critical thinking and media literacy and the fandomization of real world issues. there's some statistic that gen z is the most politically active of most previous generations and while that's inherently a good thing, they're not engaging with politics and conflicts in responsible ways. they'll do a lot of organizing for a cause here in america and get something done, and then think they can do the same thing for international plights and just end up stepping on everyone's toes, inadvertently perpetuating that america-centric attitude they claim to be against, bc they don't listen.

a lot of people these days refuse to engage with media in the way it's intended and therefore ignore or flat out miss its entire message. you'll have a movie/show/book/whatever about the nuances of war, like the hunger games (which gen z is so completely misinterpreting), and how easy it is to become the person you're fighting against if you let yourself do the things they do eye for an eye style, and they'll come away from that comparing hamas to katniss. it makes no sense within the context of the book's narrative, yet that's the conclusion they draw because they refuse to properly engage. it contradicts their second-hand anger. they're mad about their own shitty life in the states and the powerlessness we all feel here as our rights are being threatened every single day, and they'll look for somewhere else to put it all. so they butt in to situations they don't belong in and make it worse like bulls in a china closet.

bottom line is that they see what they want to see because of their lack of self reflection and self awareness, thus allowing their lack of media literacy, critical thinking, and confirmation bias run the way they think and believe. they've taken "it's fiction" to the point where none of them would pass a basic english class and now palestinians and hamas are all blorbos in The Real World Show.

#Asks #anonymoose #antisemitism

[remcycl333]

°•. creation is finished + the 4D .•°

do you ever look back at your past and see your old self struggling and think, “wow, if only they knew that in x amount of time ‘this' was going to happen?” for example, in january 2019 (before i knew about manifesting) i remember being rlly upset and sad bc i had ruined things with a boy i liked. not even a month later, we were together. and i remember writing in my diary about how i wished i could go back and tell my old self from a month prior to just relax and stop crying bc in a month i would have what i wanted.

now you may be wondering, what does this have to do with the 4D and manifesting? and i’ll tell you.

the 4D is your only true reality. the 3D is just an illusion, a mirror that reflects to you you’re own assumptions. while everything in your 4D is already created and already exists right now in this very moment, i have found it very useful to view my 4D as “the future”, and to act like i can see into it even though i am still in the present. (yes this still allows for instantaneous manifestations as even one second from now is still technically the future)

so back to the example i gave before. if in january 2019 i had known that in barely a months time i would be with the boy i liked, how would i have acted? knowing that my desire was promised to me? i wouldn’t be crying over the lack, i’d be content knowing that what i wanted was on its way to me.

what you see in your 4D is promised to you. you say your affirmations to remind yourself that it exists and is real and is done. to assure yourself that you have it. so if you’re having a bad day bc u feel like your desire will never come, that you messed it up havent done something right, just take a second and look into your 4D and remind yourself that what u r seeing is guaranteed to happen. if you can see it in your mind, it is real and it is coming to you.

i think that using little tricks like this can rlly make manifesting feel a lot more accessible--especially if you’re a beginner. so if telling yourself that you’re a prophet and that when you imagine your desire you’re looking into the future makes the idea of the 4D being real makes it click for you, then use this trick! also pretending to be a witch who can tell the future is fun af

#manifesting #manifestation #law of assumption

[i-never-forgot]

I wanted to ask for curiosity sake BUT!!! What does Lu wear/look like when he’s evolved into a fully fledged Lucario? We’ve seen Eliana but I don’t think we’ve seen him yet, and I’m SUPER interested :O

I’m not great at drawing Pokes besides Eevee (especially from memory) so the one other time I’ve drawn a Lucario recently I decided…not to post it🥲

But! I don’t give Lu enough attention (plus I’ve been meaning to post some more refined sketches of this duo), so…here you go!😊

Team Relic!

I’ve previously shied away from giving them any specific identifying features because I am frankly terrified of unique character design (I’ve never been particularly good at it tbh…I always draw a blank on what I could include that wouldn’t be terribly cliche…all my OCs weep bc of this lol), but I decided to try my hand at it.

Eliana as an Eevee is taller than average, perhaps the greatest indicator of her physical age despite being a first form Pokémon (still tiny tho). Her paws are a darker shade of brown, similar to the tone in the inside of her ears, and instead of having a somewhat coarse, stiff, straight fur like most Eevee, hers is smoother, silkier, and almost curly (to reflect the texture of her hair as a human more closely). Her fur is also a tad longer, so some of these errant cowlicks are visible. She wears the knot of her scarf in the front sometimes because she does (thankfully) have enough dexterity to tie it on her own, but it takes her a while. Most of the time Lu does it for her.

[Lu develops a habit of either smoothing down said curls with his paws or introducing her to the concept of mutual grooming as a response to either of their occasional insomniac episodes or when one of them is anxious, but only in the privacy of their room. Otherwise, he keeps a paw between her shoulder blades under her ruff and strokes the fur under his pads as a self-soothing tactic, such as when running into Team Skull.]

As a Leafeon she grows extra lithe and lanky, so she has a bit of fawn clumsiness at first because she’d gotten so used to her shorter legs. Her nose scar from Grovyle is fully healed by this point, so it’s faded a bit, but she hadn’t been able to see the dead patch of skin where Dusknoir’s Ice Punch frostbit the flesh around her throat and rendered it hairless before, so she wears something over it almost all the time bc she hates the reminder.

[Later on she continues to wear it bc it distresses Dusknoir to see it a whole lot—it’s hard to coax him back from his guilty spirals, so she only goes “naked” when her things need to be washed after exploring.]

[She doesn’t even realize she has to allow herself time to photosynthesize a certain amount of time per day so the first week she couldn’t figure out why she felt so awful until Sunflora pointed out that her ears and tail looked a bit wilted. Sun baths and afternoon naps become a main stay after that point, although Lu does have to occasionally remind her when she starts to feel down without realizing she’d forgotten to do so.]

[She feels a little naked without her ruff because she’d grown the habit of tucking her chin/mouth into it when stressed out, so when she swaps her Guild scarf for a Virid Collar, she’s grateful to have the extra fabric to nuzzle into when she’s overwhelmed.]

[She can also contort into the oddest shapes to sleep. Lu can’t understand it, but it’s because she and Treecko would often have to wedge themselves into crevices and cracks to rest.]

Lu is pretty much your run-of-the-mill Riolu, although he’s a little slimmer and taller with a bit of a longer narrower snout.

However, when he evolves into Lucario, he fleshes out and gets a bit bulkier after all the exploring they’ve done. His chest spike is broken in an accident, and he develops early gray hair along his muzzle (losing your best friend prematurely to sudden vaporization will certainly affect your stress toleration in the long run huh).

[His fur thickens up in the winter and he’s the best to snuggle with, but given the fact that Treasure Town is coastal it rarely actually gets cold enough to last the whole night without having to peel yourself away for a chance to breathe.]

Let me know if there are any other details or questions you wonder about :)

#fisara’s answers #ao3: in the morning light #pokemon #pokemon mystery dungeon #explorers of sky #my art #eevee/eliana #riolu/lu #lucario/lu #leafeon/eliana