#bad social anxiety y'know

[idol-emu-otori-official-archived]

╰┈➤ SHUFFLE AU

DESTINATION POINT (DP)

the Leo/need adjacent unit, composed of Ichika Hoshino, Airi Momoi, Ena Shinonome, and Minori Hanasato. ☆ a girl who's lost her friendships, and three others searching for their worth.

about the group's name: ♡ originally, i had "from here to there" in mind, but someone from the Discord gave me the name "destination point" and i thought it was much better, so i went with that. ♪

about the SEKAI: ♡ the Train SEKAI. no one knows when it left, or where it's going - just that it never stops. it's the perfect place for those who feel like they're lagging behind. just close your eyes and let yourself be carried away, right? but maybe there's something you can do… starts with a Miku and a Rin. the former's hardworking and talented, but the latter struggles - Rin is somewhat influenced by Ena's (and, to a lesser extent, Airi's) jealousy towards others.

•

Ichika hasn't managed to rekindle her friendship with her friends, and she's not doing particularly well. At one point, she meets Airi - who just quit being an idol. The two start talking and become friends, at which point they end up forming a band together. Airi wants to try finding a place where she could finally be taken seriously.

Ena's invited by Airi, and Minori - who had failed auditions recently - ends up inspired by Ichika's kindness, Airi's drive and Ena's determination, which is how she joins. (Haruka completely gave up on being an idol; something Minori is saddened by.)

In my mind, Ichika plays the guitar; Airi, the drums; Minori, the keyboard and Ena, the bass.

-

IDEAL HEAVEN! (IH)

the MORE MORE JUMP! adjacent unit, composed of Mafuyu Asahina, Emu Otori, Mizuki Akiyama and Shizuku Hinomori. ☆ an up-and-coming idol group that combines cuteness and sophistication.

about the SEKAI: ♡ quite similar to the Empty SEKAI, but with some idol influences - a broken stage with no one in sight. there's no bright lights, no colorful props. nothing. that SEKAI both comforts and pains Mafuyu. home to a lone Miku. sweet, hopeful, but genuinely crushed by the pressure she's feeling.

•

Mafuyu's mother wants a perfect child. idols are very frequently represented as being perfect - so, she decides that her daughter should become one, too. Mafuyu's not keen on the idea, but that's her mother; she's obedient, so she goes along with it.

Shizuku still quit Cheerful * Days, but instead of stopping altogether she ends up with Mafuyu. Emu wants to make people smile, but no one ever came; Wonderlands × Showtime was never a thing. so she decides to become an idol instead, even if it means she'll never bring back the Wonder Stage to its former state.

Mizuki's half-dragged into IDEAL HEAVEN! by Emu, who saw them looking with interest at idol merch. after bringing them to meet Mafuyu and Shizuku, Mizuki ends up accepting - the idea of wearing cute clothes and being called cute doesn't seem too terrible.

-

READY MADE SUCCESS (RMS)

the Vivid BAD SQUAD adjacent unit, composed of Haruka Kiritani, An Shiraishi, Shiho Hinomori and Akito Shinonome. ☆ two street musicians chasing after their dream, and the two girls they brought with them.

about the SEKAI: ♡ the Street SEKAI. weirdly, it seems Haruka's idol background has somewhat influenced its appearance. its inhabitants are Miku, Meiko and Len. this Miku is levelheaded, but it seems like there's something holding her back from going all-in...

•

after quitting being an idol, Haruka is invited by An to join her.

An's never met Kohane, and she never found a partner. Haruka is hesitant for a moment before deciding to give it a shot, though she keeps struggling with singing. Shiho tries getting more experience, meets Akito. no one really knows how these two ended together, but they both have a similar drive and take music very seriously.

eventually, they all start working together. Haruka deals with her guilt and, while she doubts she'll become an idol again, she's mostly made peace with what happened.

-

STARLIGHT ☆ EVERMORE (S ☆ E)

the Wonderlands × Showtime adjacent unit, composed of Tsukasa Tenma, Saki Tenma, Kanade Yoisaki and Toya Aoyagi. ☆ a strange troupe of people who aim to help others through their performances.

about the SEKAI: ♡ still very much Tsukasa's, so it's the Wonderland SEKAI. [kanade goes there for the first time and dies. alas, they're still a shut-in and this place is simply too colorful for her poor eyes.] starts with a Miku and a Kaito, though this version of the former uses far less onomatopoeias.

Tsukasa figures he needs to show the world how much of a star he is himself, and he drags his siblings into it (with varying degrees of willingness).

a part of Saki still wishes she could be in a band with her friends; she's only somewhat managed to repair her friendship with Ichika. but she's still happy to do something fun and lighthearted after all her struggles. Toya's very excited to do something with Tsukasa and his siblings. he also gets to stick it to his dad, which, honestly - is a bonus.

out of the three, Kanade is obviously the most hesitant about the whole thing. but she sees Tsukasa's drive to make others happy, something she shares with him, so she ends up agreeing. Kanade is… slightly healthier physically on account of the stubborn people looking after her, as well as all the exercise she does she does as part of Starlight ☆ Evermore. mentally? eh… we'll get there. i need her traumatized to be interesting. <3

-

LONELY SYNDROME (LS)

the 25-ji, Nightcord de. adjacent unit, composed of Nene Kusanagi, Rui Kamishiro, Honami Mochizuki and Kohane Azusawa. ☆ hidden behind avatars, these citizens of the web tell stories online.

about the SEKAI: ♡ the arcade SEKAI. this Miku is shy and withdrawn, though she one day hopes she'll be able to break out of her shell, just like Nene. alongside her is Luka - she has a bit of a teasing attitude and a catlike personality, but she always does her best to boost Nene's confidence.

about the group's name: ♡ syndrome refers to a group of symptoms - i paired it with the word lonely because i felt like it represented the atmosphere of an arcade. you're connected with people who share your interests, but at the same time, you're sort of separate from them. surrounded by people, but utterly alone…

•

Nene's social anxiety hasn't gotten better over the years. since she never joins Wonderlands × Showtime, she doesn't learn how to fight her stage fright.

but, she finds an alternate solution; using an avatar online. it's less stress-inducing, and it lets her pursue acting, in a way - it's not what Nene wants, but it's close enough. she figures she could be satisfied with that. Rui ends up figuring out what she's doing, and asks if he can help. Nene doesn't really have any reason to say no, so they start working together.

as for Honami and Kohane, they ended up on Nene's channel by pure accident. but her performances quickly became a comfort to them, since they were struggling at the time (the former because she no longer had her friends, the latter because of her lack of confidence).

unfortunately, ignoring your problems only goes so far, and eventually, her feelings give birth to the arcade SEKAI.

#// ooc #shuffle au #didn't bother detailing every SEKAI - they're mostly staying the same #destination point is accidentally very similar to richie's unit 💔 #and ideal heaven! also. oh well. i didn't do it on purpose.......... #my favorite out of these five is lonely syndrome & starlight ☆ evermore :D #which is evident because a) i developed lonely syndrome's story the most and b) starlight ☆ evermore has all my favorite characters #pushing my tenma agenda <3 #lonely syndrome is like… dear to me because i struggle with very bad social anxiety and it's held me back so many times #so i relate to nene a bunch #i wish i could just - go out there and show people what i'm capable of doing. but i just freeze in place each time. it's easier to just… #give up. y'know? it hurts less. #and fun fact: lonely syndrome's luka is more or less based on rui? he's an important person in nene's life so you know - #i figured that it would influence one of the virtual singers. i love nene and rui's friendship ww #i put Kanade in the WxS-adjacent group because i wanted her to die <3 #also. the potential of others finding out that this pathetic wet cat? is in a theater troupe?? insane. i think it's hilarious. #ready made success is a name i settled with despite not being very satisfied of it - so changes might happen! #there's some angst potential in there. i put some for emu too :3c #anyway. enough rambling in tags. i feel bad 💔 #i'm insanen over them. if you have any questions - feel free to ask. teehee <3

[georgespaniel]

i am sorry if you ever spoken to me and i've been very awkward i struggle with social interaction a lot </3

#i struggle a bit with social cues and knowing what to say 😭 #there might be a tiny bit of the tism hidden in me somewhere y'know #who knowwwssss #i just feel bad because people message or try and talk and i am the most awkward mfer ever 😭 #can't make or keep conversation for shit #i try my best but apologies if it just sucks sometimes </3 #and then we slap social anxiety on top of that and you have a great combo lmao #a talks

[supercantaloupe]

also i swear to gd i Need to get less weird and anxious about the mere concept of talking to maestro. i have known and played with him for seven years and in that time he has been literally nothing but kind and friendly and helpful and supportive. and yet every single time i have to ask him a question (or if he comes to talk to ME or like sends me an email or something) i swear to gd my heart starts racing like i’m about to get banned from every orchestra ever or something

#it's so weird. idk why i'm so weird about talking to him in particular cause i rarely feel the same about other professors. #ig it probably has to do with the greater level of like. formality? involved in orchestra #like i'll call other professors by their first or last name sometimes (though not usually directly to them... #only rarely like for my jazz prof in freshman year who was like 'just call me jake lol') #but i straight up refuse to refer to maestro as anything but maestro. y'know. #so much of classical music is about tradition and formality/politeness is an element of that... #which is usually nice for me and my social ineptitude but also occasionally is not. for example when i need to ask maestro a question lol #especially one that's not relevant to the rehearsal #i would make a 'going to get a bad grade in orchestra which is both normal to fear and possible to achieve' joke here #but i literally can get a bad grade in orchestra and he's the guy who'd assign it. #(y'know...hypothetically. i would die before i willingly did anything to tank my grade like skip rehearsals/concerts #or purposefully play horribly) #ig my nervousness might also have something to do with the fact that. like. i've known him since i was in high school #and so the thought of like. being a grad student and working on a much closer to equal/professional footing with him #as opposed to just like. student musician in the orchestra. #fucking weird! it's a weird idea to me #which i'm sure i'll get over myself enough to actually proceed if/when that becomes a reality #(though not over myself enough to cease all anxiety entirely lol) #i wanna talk about me #sasha speaks

[casekt]

#I don't like to consider myself an anxious person because I haven't had like generalized anxiety much in my life or maybe I have n I don't #remeber. forever had social anxiety #but this year I'm so incredibly anxious just doing nothing or anything #about nothing but also about things that trigger my PTSD and OCD #I feel so much more sensitive to becoming that way idk if it's because of my antidepressants or because of how many hours and hours of this #specific abusive relationship media I've watched lmao #I really enjoy it when watching it it's amazingly done and I can't stop thinking about it I'm totally in love with the characters n their #relationships n the story etc but later after it's settled in my brain I'm too anxious to watch it anymore #stupid brain #personal shit #audio #but anyway I was doing just fine ptsd wise and obsessive part of ocd wise but I started thinking about some shit n talked about it in #therapy n thats of course a good thing I don't want to hust bury it but damn bro getting through it sure isn't easy #also stupid brain bc when I'm ''not suffering enough'' I feel like damn I should be suffering more my mental illness is not bad enough #but then when it's worse again its like fuck no lets go back to the not suffering as much #y'know how it is #spotify play killpop by slipknot at a high volume to drown out having shitty feelings but also the song makes me anxious as well because #it's literally about a shitty relationship and reminds me So much about my favorite characters in this media and their relationship #we were meant to be together now die and fucking love me #p***/e***** brainrot FOREVER

[some-creep]

Splatoon shop owners ranked on how likely they are to let me shoplift

Sheldon: I don't think he'd let me because he cares about his job too much. Most of the weapons are pretty big so I'd have to sneak out of the training room with one. I don't think he'd call the cops but he's also so tired of no one listening to him he would probably just stop me himself if I tried to ignore him when he told me to stop.

Annie: She'd notice but her social anxiety means she can't stop me. She wants to but has no idea how to approach the situation and ends up crying later. Easy to do because the fish can't stop me but I guess I might feel bad. She took her business online anyway so this can't happen anymore.

Crusty Sean: He's too much of a big brother type to let me get away with that. He'd very firmly tell me to put back the shoes but not in an overly aggressive way.

Jel(onzo/fonzo/la fleur): I put them together because I think the jelly's are a hive mind. Anyway the S3 guy has on sight security to shoot me on sight if I even look at the door while trying on a shirt.

Flow: depending on what it is she might just look the other way. Kids, y'know? Just don't make a habit of it. She's possibly on something. Very new age. She seems like she sells crystals. That's not even related I just wanted to say it.

Bisk: This guy kinda looks like a bro but in an obnoxious kinda unlikeable way. He's pretty cool though and so long as it's just some cheap slip-ons he probably wouldn't notice.

Gnarly Eddy: This dude is literally high as hell. You think he even knows I made a purchase? Absolutely would let me steal.

Mr. Coco: He would be very disappointed in me if I tried but also I think he would be supportive of my assumed financial situation. He'd offer me part time work or help my find a job elsewhere. He wouldn't let me shoplift because he wants to see me be my best self.

Harmony: Yes.

#Splatoon #Splatoon 2 #Splatoon 3 #harmony is what started this i was like they should let me shoplift from the general store #harmony doesn't care

[the-jukebox-system]

SO GUESS WHO JUST REMEMBERED ALL THE TIMES THEY PLAYED JUST DANCE AND FIGURED OUT WHY THEY WERE SO BOLD SOMETIMES

#holly.txt #turns out the main reason why i would randomly get a burst of energy and boldness when it came to playing just dance was hailey!! #she loved that game back then and still does #i usually get upset when i find out that certain memories weren't really mine to begin with #but this time i'm just flat-out happy #because it makes me feel like i was playing the game with a friend y'know? #all those times i wasn't playing it with my cousin #i had really bad social anxiety as a kid and still do #so when i did play just dance i would always be really hesitant and critical of what i was doing #but then there would also be these random times when i was suddenly EXCITED to play it and wouldn't hold back #yeah no that was hailey #tw caps

[bonschai]

my therapist gave me homework to do a tracker thing for my social anxiety but nothing has really made me that anxious this week so now i am anxious because i wasn't anxious :(

#i feel like i'm wasting my therapists time here #bc half the time it isn’t really that bwd #but when it is bad its not good #i get anxious about other more general things a lot more but this therapy is specifically based around social anxiety #i feel like i'm not really bad enough to be there y'know #theres something wring with me i want to fixed but man idk how #i contempated writing that i'm anxious because i didn't have anything to talk about #but i'm not sure if that would be stupid lmao #a talks #a vent

[thatonetrans-binarydude]

Sonic characters and their love languages (sonic, shadow, knuckles, and silver):

Sonic:

💙 definitely physical affection and quality time.

💙 jit cannot go one minute without being near you or he.will.die

💙 that's what he says anyways

💙 he knows he can be a little over-baring so he tries not to come off as clingy as he actually is

💙 he follows you around everywhere to, store? He can help you carry bags! Work? He'll make sure no one bothers you! Bathroom? He's right outside the door.

💙 now exactly how clingy he is kinda depends on whether it's romantic or platonic

💙 if it's platonic he won't really feel the need to stake a claim in you by always being around. He's much more toned down if he only sees you as a friend or family.

💙 if it's Romantic holy shit- bro always has a hand in you one way or another, especially in public. Either holding your waist or having his arm around your shoulder ....

💙 it feels natural to him.

Shadow:

🖤 acts of service and quality time I'm calling it now.

🖤 he feels so bad whenever he can't bring you with him :( What if something happens???

🖤 like sonic he's pretty much always near you.... except most of the time you don't know it

🖤 it's not stalking ofcourse, he's just....protecting you ok?

🖤 he fears what happened to Maria will happen to you...

🖤 onto lighter topics :) whenever he does come back to you he always gives you a hug before doing your chores for you without saying a word. Dishes? Nah, shadow will do it, what if you you wash and get a cut? Laundry? He can do that to, y'know you look a little tired maybe you should rest...

🖤 if you try to stop him he'll give you a look before pushing you back down onto the couch.

🖤 how dare you interrupt his cleaning >:(

🖤 it's all for you after all....

Knuckles:

🥊acts of service, I see him doing like shadow litterly everything for you because your fragile to him.

🥊 he's like your personal bodyguard to, no one is gonna bother you with him around that's for sure .

🥊 scary dog privilege? Scary dog privilege. Him and shadow both....

🥊 he's not very physically affectionate or verbally affectionate either, mainly because one what if he accidentally crushes you?? Second of all boy doesn't know what to say tbh-

🥊 someone get this man some social anxiety meds😭

Silver:

🤍 physical affection and words of affirmation.

🤍 mf can't go anywhere without you 💀

🤍 it's like the that one scene from family guy with Donna and Cleveland.

🤍 you'll be walking to the kitchen to get a class of water when suddenly you hear name being shouted by a sobbing silver who's stuck under the sheet 😂

Anyway-

🤍 he follows you around everywhere like a lost puppy, y'know privacy? Yah forget her you have silver now.

🤍 he's like the worse clingier version of shadow and sonic....

🤍 can and will go into heavy detail about how you should be a nation wide treasure

🤍 although while he's a simp who can't leave you alone for one millisecond your very much protected with him.

🤍 not a single hair on your head will be harmed as long as he's here...

Bonus!:

*silver walks in to see sonic and knuckles fighting over who gets you*

Silver: 😶....what do you mean it's not my turn??? *Insert angry silver using his telekinesis to throw them out the window*

Also silver: *Insert hysterical sobbing near y/n* "YOUR MY BABYYYY"

Shadow: I already told you idiots that I'd have them for the week...I have... nothing to do anyway *awkwardly hides the piles of darks he forgot to do*

#yandere x reader #yandere sonic #yandere sonic the hedgehog #yandere shadow the hedgehog #yandere silver #yandere silver the hedgehog #family guy references 👉👈 #shitpost #yandere knuckles #yandere knuckles the echnida

[sleepyangelkami]

pls do more of carl grimes😭🙏🙏 (can be smut or fluff idrc🤭)

TROUBLE ADJUSTING c.grimes

 ☆ WORD COUNT - 2.1K

CARL GIMES X FEM!READER

 ☆ SUMMARY - there was a heavy difference between travelling the roads filled with dead people walking and alexandria, a place that you fear is too much like the old world. you have some trouble adjusting, luckily your boyfriend carl doesn't mind you using him as a human shield.

 ☆ WARNINGS - anxiety, social anxiety, obvious attachment issues, aged up characters, (2) use of y/n, petnames, intended lower case, nothing i write is ever proofread 🩷

the roads were unlike anything you'd ever experienced in your entire life.

the prison wasn't exactly the best option but it was safe and it was secure. it kept the dead out and the living in. when you were at the prison, you were never told to leave the grounds. perhaps that was why the road had been such a shock to you and not the others.

you thought when you and the others got off the roads and found a new place to settle down, things would mellow out.

and by things, i mean the elephant in the room between you and carl.

you and carl had been dating for quite some time now. you'd always been close, you supposed. but on the roads? he was your safe haven. you slowly began isolating yourself into just you and him.

though he never minded, of course.

if anything, it put carl a little at ease, knowing you were always so close to him. during the prison, he worried tremendously about you, where you were during the night, what you were doing. you two weren't permitted to sleep in a cell together, at that stage.

but rick's rules began to disappear when death began to slap him in the face over and over. if anything were to happen to any of you, he'd like to think you lived doing what you wanted, what made you happy.

besides, you didn't really have anyone other than the grimes' family.

michonne and you had moved into the large grimes' house in alexandria. rick and michonne were at one end of the hall, judith's room somewhere in between and then it was carl's room. you didn't like to call it your room seeing as it wasn't your house. but the grimes' let you know that it was as much your house as it was theres.

"you wanna go for a walk or something?" carl questioned causing your head to move from his shoulder.

you and carl had this sort of ritual of reading comic books together since the beginning of the breakout. you were thankful that at least that didn't change now that you were in alexandria. "do you want to?"

carl shrugged, debating. sure, he wanted to. at the same time, he worried for you. it was evident that the change hadn't been good for you. once so bubbly and outgoing, you'd sort of shrunk into yourself. now, you didn't even feel all that comfortable talking to rick. "why not? the place is huge."

that much was true.

you'd never seen a place as huge as this, even before the breakout. you only worried that you may run into someone on the way.

"what's going on up there, baby?" his finger tapped against your head, bringing you back.

with a bitten lip, you tried your best to conceal the obvious anxiety bubbling in your chest. "i don' know... i jus' don't wanna see anyone."

"we don't have to." he shrugged his shoulders. "we'll just keep reading the comic." before relaxing back into the pillows of his bed.

but you couldn't leave it at that. "but you want to. you should go without me." feeling bad that you were restricting him from doing the things he wanted.

he could only chuckle lowly. "don't be silly, angel. wouldn't go nowhere without you." he didn't realise it, but truthfully, it had been the most comforting thing you'd heard all week.

you'd had so much worry caught in your throat about going out and meeting people that you began to think you were weighing the others down, too. "but i feel bad." you mumbled, voicing your feelings to the only person you felt like you could.

carl was quick to shush you. "i was just suggesting, maybe another day. y'know, now that i think about it, i'm kind of in the mood for hot coco and a movie, what d'you say?" though he was already getting up from the bed.

you sat criss-cross legged on the bed, practically pouting at him. "you don't like hot coco." you informed him, knowing what he was getting at.

"why can't you just let me do something nice for my pretty girl, hm?" lifting out his hand to you and letting you take it.

carl would never force you to talk to anyone.

a couple more days in the new community passed and rick was beginning to get worried. of course, he knew you and carl weren't normal teenagers, you never would be after the things you'd experienced in your lives. but he wanted you to be as normal as could be, and that included at least trying to make friends.

obviously, the man hadn't picked up on the obvious anxiety that followed you like a dark cloud over your head. so, he made arrangements with the blonde woman who lived down the street who had a son about your guy's age. who had a girlfriend and another guy friend. rick thought there would be no harm in at least meeting them. and if you came back to the house, not liking them, then he wouldn't force you guys to go back.

simple.

or at least it should have been.

you were sure you were shaking like a leaf by the time you made your way to the white door from across the street. worried you'd be looked at oddly, you didn't hold carl's hand, though you stayed silent, behind him.

the woman, jessie anderson, let you in with a smile on her face.

then you met her son, ron. "so mikey and enid are upstairs waiting for us, got some cool games if you play."

"uh, sure." as much as carl wasn't the awkward type, he still felt sort of odd in someone else's house. perhaps that was because he never experienced the whole 'teenager sleepover' thing.

you followed carl up the stairs, staying eerily close to him. you heard ron talk, even crack a joke. carl laughed and made a joke back. but truthfully, their words fell on deaf ears for you. your eyes travelled around the house, glancing to the family portraits hanging and so on.

you didn't look back until ron opened his bedroom door, allowing you both in and shutting it again. "hey guys." a boy with black hair whipped around and the girl who was sat on the bed, comic in hand, didn't bother looking up.

"oh, hey." the boy didn't exactly say hi to ron, more so to carl and you.

"hi." the girl spoke, not so much as looking away from the pretty coloured pages.

"so, this is mikey." pointing to the black haired boy who nodded swiftly before turning back to the gaming console he'd been playing on. "and enid." the girl who finally glanced up, eyeing the two of you before nodding. "and guys, this is carl and... sorry, what was your name again?"

three pairs of oggling eyes on you. you felt your own eyes widen and your mouth part, a little dry. suddenly, your own name was caught in your throat.

"y/n." carl responded for you, loud and proud as if he'd wanted to boast about you. "her name's y/n." instinctively, you found yourself shuffling closer to the boy, trying to make yourself as unseen as possible.

you swore you didn't leave his side the entire time you spent there. he got comfortable on the ground, back against the bed while ron sat above you two, at the edge, mikey on the desktop chair and enid, now on her second comic.

"so, how long you two been together?" you glanced up at the sound of mikey's voice. he was a well put together boy, expensive sweater and a collared shirt beneath. you were suddenly thankful for carl's dirty boots, cowboy hat and loose flannels. "been third wheeling these two for like forever. i know a couple when i see one."

carl and ron both huffed out a laugh, you did not. "yeah, we've been together for like forever too." carl's head turned to give you a graceful smile, one that had your cheeks turning a light pink before smiling back ever so softly. "hey, where's the, uh, where's the bathroom?"

you were almost tempted to grasp his arm and tell him you were coming with.

"just out the hall, first door to the right." ron answered, without taking his eyes off the screen.

"thanks, man." carl's baby blue's turned back to your nervous face. "i'll be back in a second, okay?"

you nodded, though you could feel the colour drain from your face without even looking in a mirror. carl left as quickly as he could, deciding that the quicker he left, the quicker he would be back. "so..." ron voiced again. you suddenly wondered how much he liked the sound of his voice, seeing as he wouldn't stay quiet for longer than a full minute. "not much of a talker?" you nodded your head softly before hearing the loud crash on the video game, jumping a little. "jumpy too huh?" you breathed out a sigh, shying in on yourself.

"don't worry." enid voiced, only now choosing to speak. "you get used to the noise again."

this caused your head to spin, what was she talking about. and without even having to ask, ron answered your question. "enid was on the roads too. i heard your group was on the road for a while, how was it?"

how was it?

"scary." you answered shortly, turning backwards and feeling your hands become clammy.

if there was one thing you wanted to forget, it was the roads. every day, it seemed as though you were loosing someone else. every day, you faced death and it stared you back right in the eyes. panic would come over you, wheeze it's way through your lungs.

carl would always hold you back, close to him as he stabbed his way through walkers with the others. but even that was a comfort to none.

every day, you were living, wondering if it'd be your last.

"i'll bet. i couldn't imagine living without my xbox." he snorted before pressing the shooting button again and letting bullets fly. it was now that you wished carl was next to you again, at least then you could squeeze his hand 'til it turned purple.

you wondered if everyone here was that shallow. if everyone only worried about their xbox or their stupid assets that in the long run, meant nothing.

"so, what do you think about alexandria?" this time it was mikey who'd asked the question.

"scary." you huffed out again. "but a different kind of scary."

"intimidating." enid answered for you. "it'll be like that for a while but you get used to it, just like the noise." you could tell that she was one of the good ones. the ones who don't care about silly things like objects. you could tell she'd seen the horrors you had, too.

"thanks." you mumbled, sheepishly glancing down to your fingers.

soon enough, carl returned from the bathroom, catching onto your face full of anxiety. he excused you both, stating that his dad needed help rearranging furniture or something or other. stupidly enough, the others believed you and soon bid a goodbye.

when you left, it felt like you could finally breathe again. you let out a breath of relief, fluttering your eyes shut and opening them again. carl was careful to peer at your face. "what'd you think?"

"the girl's nice." you mumbled.

"yeah? think so?" you could only nod in response. "well that's good, maybe you guys'll become friends. and the guys?"

you shrugged. "ron talks a lot." this caused carl to grin, a laugh puffing out from his cheeks causing you to do the same. it was much easier to laugh when it was just you and carl, even after everything you two had been through. "did you like 'em?"

"i guess." he gently nudged his nose against your cheek. "nothing compared to you, though." you couldn't help but roll your eyes, pretty smile dancing on your cheeks.

you huffed out again, noticing the way your chest suddenly felt clear of knots. "that was scary." you spoke honestly.

carl nodded his head, understanding that it wasn't exactly your thing. "it'll get better, though. just takes some getting used to." you couldn't agree more. "you're just having a little trouble adjusting, that's all. but you got me, right?"

the boy's elbow nudged you causing you to giggle softly and lean against his shoulder. "yeah, i got you."

he pressed a chaste kiss to the crown of your hair. "c'mon, let's go pick out another comic."

now that sounded like fun.

main masterlist/carl's masterlist

#carl #grimes #carl grimes #carl x reader #carl grimes x reader #carl x you #carl grimes x you #carl x y/n #carl grimes x y/n #carl imagine #carl grimes imagine #carl grimes drabble #carl grimes oneshot #carl grimes smut #carl grimes fluff #carl grimes angst #carl drabble #carl oneshot #carl smut #carl fluff #carl angst #the walking dead #twd #twd x reader #twd x y/n #twd x you #twd imagine #twd fluff #twd angst #twd oneshot

[slocumjoe]

how would companions be at the beach? who gets sunburnt for a week? who tries drowning who?

Companions have a Beach Episode

Cait; is kicking ass and taking names at volley ball. Any who step up to the net are swiftly executed, either by shame of their devastation, or Cait spiking too hard and beaning them in the head. Being a ginger, this girlie is 2x vulnerable to sunburn. Doesn't put on sunscreen, thinks its dumb. Regrets this immensely. But before her skin starts peeling off of her like an onion, and in between claiming victims, she's throwing back fun beach cocktails. Doesn't drink water. On a hot, sunny day. When she's exerting herself. Also comes to regret this. This could have gone much worse if she didn't gorge herself at the BBQ. She wears baggy swim shorts and a loose tank top.

Codsworth; Hangs out at a gazebo with a makeshift kitchen/bar area. He's not risking sand getting in delicate places, absolutely not. No, Codsy stays nice and cozy, and makes those aforementioned cocktails, as well as other cold drinks and food. When he isn't serving something or cooking, indulges in some sort of activity, like a puzzle book, a normal novel, something like that. He enjoys the energy of the beach, the sand and sun and surf, but practically...he just really wants to take a broom to it, y'know? Just...just to see if he could...but that's rude to nature. So, it's best he keep to a more manageable area. One that doesn't give him cleaning itches.

Curie; Sets up a beach towel under an umbrella, and relaxes with a good book and iced drink. Despite not going out in the sun, puts on sunscreen to set an example. Periodically chases people down with a bottle if they've yet to apply it. You are not allowed to get skin cancer on her watch. When she isn't hunting Cait for sport, Curie is simply enjoying the beachy soundscape, warmth, and general chill vibes. Will get up and check on everyone, make sure they're drinking water, et cetera. Half of her time is spent relaxing, the other half Mama Hen-ing. These people lack self-preservation instincts and it kind of drives her crazy. Wears a pastel blue two-piece with ruffles.

Danse; is in his element. Warm weather, fishing, grilling, bright-colored, gaudy-patterned shirts. This is his happy place. Gets a cooler of beer, a pole, and sits by the shore, soaking up sun like a cat. Lives out his ideal life as an old beach bum and for once, has a good day. This is Danse at his peak. He shows up in knee-length khaki shorts, socks and sandals, and a borderline-neon floral button up. Anything he catches, he grills over at Codsworth's gazebo. Spends his day fishing, bbqing, and drinking, and shocks everyone with the fact that, yes, Danse is capable of basic joy and relaxation. Just...very sparingly.

Deacon; Redhead. Unlike Cait, knows the divine agony that is a bad sunburn, and lathers himself in sunscreen. Wears a speedo, crocs, and an obnoxious sunscreen streak on his nose. Participates in volley ball, wrist is sprained by a hard serve from the Red Menace herself. Afterwards, lets Piper and later, MacCready, use him as a sculpture base. Seeing as his day was spent underneath piles of sand, didn't do much. Had a lot of drinks, though, courtesy of Piper engineering a long curly straw for him. Has to be dug out for BBQ against his will, wanted to spend the rest of his life as a mermaid. When he emerges, is caked in sand and looks like a golumn. All that sunscreen turned against him. For the next week, greets people with "Hi, I have so much sand in my ass, how ya doin'?"

Gage; Tends to dislike casual, hang-out activities on principle. Whereas Danse doesn't like them due to his social anxiety and gets nervous around people. Gage doesn't like them because he doesn't like people period. The beach is one such activity, with the added bonus of causing him physical pain. Due to his half-blindness, prolonged exposure to brightness really strains the one eye, so he sticks to Codsworth's gazebo for shade. The ocean is basically a giant disco ball and that shit triggers migraines for him. Spends the day observing the others and chainsmoking. Keeps tally of Cait's various volley ball crimes. Plays catch with Dogmeat until the pooch collapses from exhaustion. Generally does what Gage is always doing—keeping tabs and making notes. Also, mooching off free food.

Hancock; the thing about Hancock, is that it's difficult to keep him in order. You're rarely going to see him in a group, doing group pre-ordained stuff. He sticks around the others for maybe ten minutes before he wanders off to see whatever he can find. Comes back a while later with his pockets full of rocks, shells, even bones. Codsworth empties a bucket for him to put his treasure in, and Hancock's back out on the hunt. Spends his day beachcombing. Brings back stuff for MerDeacon, gets a big clump of kelp for the hair, and seashells for modesty. Hancock just paces up and the down the beach, pondering shit, collecting shit. Basically this image;

MacCready; didn’t intend on sculpting a mermaid onto Deacon, but God presented him an opportunity. MacCready has based his entire life on taking opportunities given to him. Has so many fruity drinks as he crafts his masterpiece. Whereas Piper is more interested in forming the excavation site around the corpse of this behemoth sea monster, MacCready's more interested in giving the Deac very crude and childish features, such as breasts in the image of Deacon himself. But wait, aren't mermaids seals? Seals have multiple nipples, right? Guess we have to make more Deacon tits! This descent into madness might have something to do with the copious pina coladas he put away. Getting beaned in the head by Cait also probably didn't help. Wears gym shorts and a tank top.

Nick; Curie had the right idea. Only, Nick improves on it by moving his spot much, much farther down the beach. Takes a radio, wine coolers, and various books that he goes through over the day. Reads shlock romance pulp fiction, because he felt it more thematically appropriate to the beach. Has a few towels down for cushy-ness, being an old man. Needs his back supported. He wears shorts and a long, thin-material cardigan, almost like a robe. Wouldn't look out of place telling an officer he most definitely didn't kill his husband. Nick appears later at lunch/dinner/dinch, but until then, he's sequestering himself under an umbrella and he's having a moment of peace. Considered participating in whatever the others were doing at one point. Decided against it when he saw whatever the hell was happening with Deacon.

Piper; was almost a victim of Cait, dipped when a volley ball went past her head and it sounded like an actual bullet. Wisely moved out of the firing zone and began construction of a sandcastle. She blinked, and there was Deacon, and six nipple-Deacons. Doesn’t know how it happened. Didn't question it. Turned her castle into the excavation site of a prehistoric sea creature, washed ashore and buried beneath the sand. It pays to be adaptable like that. Piper spends a good chunk of the day pissing, as she's the type to need so much water when its hot out. She doesn't start slinging back fun cocktails until its lunch/dinner/dinch. Then, it's a cocktail for every hotdog, burger, serving of fish...and Piper can put away bbq. Wears a red halter one-piece.

Preston; is the only one to consistently survive Cait's bloodbath, so he keeps her busy, so as to let the others escape her rubbery death blows. Basically just plays ball with her until she gets tired, same as Gage with Dogmeat. Preston takes some breaks, and drinks water, but its a matter of attrition. Its an endurance test. He passes by the skin of his teeth. The game ends once Cait is lured away by bbq and alcohol. At that point, Preston is better considered a husk than a man. Drops an ice pack on the ground and lays face-down on it, and takes a nap like that.

X6-88; shows up in his usual black trench coat and not a single bead of sweat forms. Haunts the gazebo for sugary drinks and treats. Everyone tries to ignore him because they get second-hand heat stroke just looking at him. He's loathe to get near the water and loathe to get sand in his clothing. Becoming the Phantom of the George Foreman Grill was the only outcome for him. Backseat sous chef, constantly questioning Danse and Codsworth's methods or choices. Codsworth politely takes the criticism, and ignores it. Danse just chucks candy into the bushes to lure him away.

#fallout 4 #fo4 #paladin danse #preston garvey #nick valentine #piper wright #x6-88 #robert joseph maccready #companions react #Codsworth #porter gage

[hurricanek8art]

Okay, so, um... Hi? So, I've been a lurker on Tumblr for a while, including the SWTOR tag, because I've got major social anxiety. Recently, I think I've finally worked up the courage to interact, which is great! Especially now, because I think I need advice about the game and don't really know where else to ask! Other social media sites scare me and I'm not currently a subscriber, so I can't access the SWTOR forums. :P

I've just finished Corellia on my Jedi Knight. She's technically my main, even though I already finished the class storylines for Consular and Smuggler. I got burnout on doing the planetary missions and side quests around Balmorra (I'm a huge goody-two-shoes, so I was doing almost every quest I came across) so I figured, hey, I'll just focus on the story for a while and come back to it another time! Except now I feel kinda bad for skipping them because my Knight's leveled at 53, when my other two finished their class stories around 60/65. I know over-leveling's pointless, but at the speed I take getting through stuff, they'll have to have raised the level cap again by the time I catch up. 🤣

Should I go back and do them before finishing the class story? I know it's pretty harmless to skip them but I dunno, I want to do as much as I can with my Knight so I haven't missed out on anything. My brother plays too, we share an account, but his philosophy is skip absolutely everything that's not important unless he's underleveled, so obviously we have differing opinions on the subject. 🤣🤣🤣 Can some more experienced players give me some advice? I'm paralyzed with indecision, help me Obi-Wan Kenobi, etc., etc., you get the gist.

Unnecessarily adding pictures of my Knight because she is awesome and I love her to pieces and I only really get to talk about her with my brother. I'm a writer/artist and I've got loads of stuff I've created about her and my other legacy characters but. y'know. extreme social anxiety says no sharing yet. You guys make such cool stuff and I'm a huge chicken, but I'm working on getting over that, so maybe someday I can actually tell their stories!

#SWTOR #Star Wars The Old Republic #SWTOR Jedi Knight #SWTOR OC: Aja Verdona #K8 Rambles about SWTOR #(I guess that tag will work for the future? I'll figure all this out eventually :P)

[isuckatwritingsobenice]

Helloo! I came from your other account, and I was wondering if you'd be willing to make a Deuce Gorgan X male reader fanfiction that takes place after the events of the 2nd live action movie :)

(P.S) I'd also love if the reader has social anxiety and is awkward around other monsters since we don't really have any of that in the live-action movies <33

A/N: so I never watched the second movie or the first, but thankfully Wikipedia gives a full summary of the movies 😍, so I got some what of an idea here. I tried to be more general, so my lack of knowledges sake this is set WAYY after the second movie.

Warnings: use of he/him pronouns for the reader, mutual pinning, unspoken relationship, symptoms of social anxiety, pure fluff!

Navigation!! // Masterlist!!

It's a long day, a tiring one at that. After all the recent drama subsided, the school has been having multiple new students come in, and this made Y/n uneasy. Not in a bad way, but he definitely didn't like all the new people coming up to him.

"Hey." Deuce says, sitting next to Y/n on a tombstone. The quietest place around here is the graveyard. For obvious reasons.

"Hey." Y/n says, shutting his book and turning his body to face Deuce clearly now. "Finished talking to Komos?" He asks, and Deuce nods, pulling his notebook out his bag to hand it to Y/n.

" Yeah, we went down some rabbit hole about the new students coming in since a new one was stopping by ever five minutes." Deuce joked as Y/n opened his notebook. Inside were the notes from today's lecture, one he missed because of the large class.

"Oh you got the notes, thanks." Y/n says as he opens his notebook, flipping to a fresh page to copy the notes from Deuce's notebook.

"No problem man. Why didn't you come to the lecture though?" Deuce asks, before adding quickly. "Not like I have a problem sharing the notes but, y'know it was just-"

"Deuce I get it, you're fine." Y/n says laughing as he flips the pages over on the notebooks to copy the rest.

"Oh sorry, I just didn't wanna be rude." He says, scratching the back of his neck nervously.

"Trust me you're fine." Y/n says, copying the notes.

"So.. why weren't you there?" Deuce asks again, hoping he isn't being too pushy on the subject.

"Oh, I went to the library instead." Y/n replies shortly, brows furrowing when Deuce let's out a laugh. "What?"

"Why the library? I mean you could've gone anywhere." Deuce says, leaning forward the rest his elbow on his knee.

"It's quiet there, and way less people." Y/n says, folding his notebook in half to get a better grip while writing. His hand is cramping from the grip on the pencil, and it's not because of all the writing.

"Oh, so the class is the problem." Deuce says. Y/n stops, shaking his head and sitting up straighter.

"Not the people, just the.. amount of people. It feels like I can't breathe in there. It's just so crowded." Y/n says. Deuce let's out a 'hm', thinking to himself quietly.

"So you don't like large crowds? Or a lot of people?" Deuce asks, and Y/n nods. "So what's it like in the halls?" Deuce asks jokingly. Y/n just chuckles shaking his head.

"Honestly the worst. I don't like people so close. Or when they talk to me. I just don't know what to say. Or I miss social cue's and then it's just awkward." Y/n says with a sigh, leaning back down to finish writing the notes.

"Is that why you don't go to any of Clawd's parties?" Deuce asked, and Y/n nodded.

"Yup. Too many people, definitely not for me." Y/n says, before pausing. "Though it does kinda suck, not being with people." Y/n says a bit quieter this time. Deuce looks at him, watching his demeanor shift.

"We could hang out if you want." Deuce says. At that Y/n perks up, a bit happier.

"Really?" He asks and Deuce nods.

"I mean why not. Parties are repetative anyway. There's another one this weekend, we could just hang out then if you want." Deuce said, watching Y/n's smile widen. Y/n nods, writing the rest of the notes quickly on his notebook. He finishes writing, handing the notebook back to Deuce who just puts it in his bag. Y/n shuffles in his spot, leaning his head on Deuce's shoulder.

"You think whoever's in these graves are mad at us for sitting on them like this?" Y/n asks.

"Oh definitely."

#monster high #monster high deuce #monster high deuce x reader #monster high x reader

[vinnival]

I think I will now drop my Jonah HCs !!

Buckle in, boys, there's a reason why I call myself the CEO of him/hj

Things he likes

Drums!! He used to always sneak to the band room in high school in order to practice on them. At least, before he got a set of his own and all.

Honeybuns! Always loved them. He in general has a sweet tooth (blame weed brownies) but always catered to honeybuns. Any time he shoplifts you'll most definitely find him pocketing a honeybun somewhere.

Weed. This is canon, yes, but he's also tried out many of the other drug methods and hated them, simply stuck to weed.

Physical affection. He's prone to hugging and cuddling. He will hold his friends' hands if they're cold, or flop on top of them if they're stretched out on a bed (all strictly platonically). This is more pronounced when he's high.

Things he dislikes

Authority. You've never seen a man be so spiteful towards the law before/hj

Going back on promises.

Cats. Not even in the funny cat alternate way he's just allergic.

Littering. He always makes sure to pick up after himself and will make sure no one he knows/sees litters.

Social

Whenever he meets someone- unless in a formal or professional setting- he will make a nickname up for them almost immediately. Nicknames include Ads, Sar, Eevee (Adam, Sarah, and Evelin respectively), and so on and so forth.

ASK HIM ABOUT ANIMAL FACTS.

He has DEFINITELY learned some whale facts as a kid just to spite his namesake. So y'know. If you ever happen to find yourself swallowed by a whale--

"Trust me on this. You get eaten by a whale. End of the world, right? NO. Curl into a ball, reduce your surface area. That way, those whales with teeth won't chomp you as easily and you'll just make a harder time for the whale."

He has a wonderful ability to make friends, but most times he chooses not to in favor of hanging out with the ones he cares for most.

Fiercely cares for his friends. This one's a given.

Sceeeene !! Of course, in order to avoid standing out in the era of Being Wanted By The Fucking Feds, he toned down his fashion taste and looks to dark greys and blacks. But before then, he was very much an eyesore. Taste the rainbow mothafuckaaa

He's the type to goof around a lot, so he will poke-poke teasingly or start impromptu pillow fights. This gets even more pronounced when he's high.

Easy-going.

Very... dog-like in personality. Golden retriever of a man/hj

He can and will start impromptu road games while on a drive. Expect him to spot a Volkswagon Bug and LAUNCH A PUNCH—

Mental

He has anxiety. This causes him to overthink... a lot.

He has a tendency to try and blanket his negative emotions or play down bad situations by joking about them. Sometimes it helps him process it! But most times this essentially turns into bottling up his frustrations, which... well. We all saw how that turned out in v2.

He's convinced himself that most times it's just better to walk away than to face things head-on. I repeat, we all saw how that turned o

Educational

Fucking LOVES biology. Always had an interest in animals and plants. He went to college to study biology :)

Keeps a few bugs at his place. Names them after celebrities so he can say shit like "Beyoncé's new roommate Madonna arrived yesterday. They immediately started fighting." and not provide any context to it.

His dad (mentioned up next) wanted him to go to law school. He just ignored that

Familial

His father, Mervin, is a lawyer. He was rarely home.

This left him with his mother, Clementine (OC), who was... eh. She was the bare minimum.

One fateful day, she ran away from them with 50k from Mervin's savings and never returned. In a panic, Mervin sent Jonah off to his grandpa to live with him while the lawyer strained himself to regain the money.

This left Jonah essentially without proper parents, only his abuelo. This is where he learned Spanish, at least!

He has a younger brother he doesn't know about, named Lucas (OC).

Miscellaneous

Peruvian. Obligatory

Will always be overtly dramatic about going to lay in bed. He'll usually do some extravagant dive onto it or something.

Bouncing off the last one, this man LOVES to sleep.

He's always had a hyperfixation on ghosts and the phenomena of spirits, even before he met Adam. Of course, any time too much fuckery happens, you bet your ass he's out of the place and back in their vehicle/observation area, on the cams for other evidence (ghost orbs, etc), or reviewing spirit box recordings.

He shoplifts. He knows all the good tips and tricks of stealing small items.

He's a goddamn furnace. He can have a simple t-shirt and sweatpants on and he'd still feel like he just hopped out of the Sahara.

Very proud of his hair! He loves it. In my HC it's a silver-ish, with just a hint of purple in there.

Has read the JJBA manga.

His favorite movie is The Lion King! He's basically adopted the hakuna matata ideology for his own

He's a big optimist. He'll always try and see the good in things, because... well, it's gotten him this far, hasn't it?

Whenever he listens to music he finds catchy, you'll likely see him tapping out a drum beat, whether it be with his hands or feet.

Likely has ranted before about how common 2/4 beats are in music and how annoying it is.

Likely has ranted about many other things- silly and serious- relating to his interests. He can just do that. Good for him <3

He can and will find ways to always joke about things, whether it be good or bad

Listens to a variety of music, he likes stuff ranging from breakcore to metal. Anything with a good beat.

He usually drives the car but sometimes he takes shotgun so he can watch the scenery fly by.

Demisexual+biromantic, he/him+they/them (when he feels more fluid.)

Started smoking weed because of getting MAD as a kid. He's since forgotten why.

Convinced himself Always believed alternates didn't exist.

Ended up dying via alternate.

#i think i will update these as time goes on i dunno #'i have jonah hcs in my head you guys couldn't even comprehend' #<- FINALLY. you guys can comprehend them now #anyways. jonah <3!!! blorbo from my horror series hyperfix #jonah marshall #jonah marshall tmc #mandela catalogue #mandela catalog #tmc #jonah my belonah

[not-poignant]

Hi! Comments thread anon. Thank you for answering. It is a really interesting point, that maybe the ones who stopped doing big ones just didn't feel my replies fullfil an energy exchange. I am actully been there too, so I try to answer to everyone on ao3, but sometimes I can't make myself to reply outside of it, on twitter or discord dm/pm, but who knows, It could be the same people. Anyways, I feel like the important mantra to have is that everyone is human, and that's not their or my fault.

Hi anon!

Tbh the main reason people stop leaving big comments is that they're probably just tired. In a big series, it's actually hard to remember to leave comments on every chapter, and sometimes people run out of things to say, or just want to let the author know they're reading!

Like you say - everyone is human, it's no one's fault. There's no need for guilt or shame on either side. It can be sad sometimes when comments drop off on a story, I notice this happens towards the end, when the chapters are happier and there's a lot less conflict going on, people also tend to have less things to respond to like 'omg what's coming next!' because everyone knows a happy ending is coming next, lol.

And a lot of authors can't reply to comments either! I have a partner who gets pretty bad social anxiety at the thought of replying to commenters, so they can only do it when they really feel like it!

It's just sometimes our readers get social anxiety too, y'know? :D

We're all just doing our best out here <333

#asks and answers #pia on fanfiction #commenting is just one of those things #like i should comment more than i do #and i'm sure some of us feel this way #but like the reality is most of us are there to read and enjoy ourselves while reading #and sometimes commenting doesn't occur to us until later! #i treasure all the comments i get #but i also beam love to the lurkers #anyone who's reading my story and enjoying it #i like 'em lol #administrator gwyn wants this in the queue

[octoagentmiles]

hello hello hello, i come bearing headcanons for my dearest octoagents <3 the old mens™

angst cw for some of em, woops- (mentions/descriptions of anxiety, and implied trauma)

Natquik:

the Antarctica Incident had a much greater toll on him than he realizes. he's just ✨ Fine™ ✨ y'know? nbd <3 (he's not fine somebody please hug him-)

has a Thing about things breaking/not working. it causes him to immediately panic and have a million thoughts rush through his head about how he'll survive the weather, how much food he has, etc., even if it's something small.

he also doesn't like being alone for too long. you'd think he'd be "used to it", but nope.

but on the bright side: contrary to popular belief, he wasn't completely alone while trapped. he befriended a lot of penguins. mostly against his will, but still.

1000000000% views Barnacles as his son but he'll never admit it.

so gosh darn fluffy. basically canon but yeah. aside from the adorableness it's kinda a burden because he'd probably overheat really fast if he left his station.

fluent in Russian, and used to have a habit of muttering Impolite Words™ under his breath—until reuniting with a grown-up Barnacles who picked up some Russian in his worldly travels. now he only does it in private.

he watched the great penguin race. he saw and/or heard Barnacles there, but wasn't sure if it was him. they left before he worked up the courage had a chance to talk to them.

Calico Jack:

mmmmmmmmmm. undiagnosed autistic. masks really well but only among other pirates, who have completely different social rules and whatnot. he's struggling now because he doesn't know how to mask anymore. he doesn't need to, because literally all the Octonauts are neurodivergent, but pshh

he's going through a redemption arc in his head. no one else knows about it because everyone likes him already and thinks he's great, but he can't see that.

his leg will start to hurt really bad if he runs on it too much—he tries to avoid it if he can, but sometimes he's stubborn, or just forgets (until it's too late).

three words: phantom limb syndrome.

has anxiety and gets nightmares. he's good at hiding it, but sometimes a really bad one will bother him for a day or two.

Emotional Support Bird Pete Emotional Support Bird Pete Emotional Support Bird Pete Emotional Support Bird Pete Emotional Su-

wrote hundreds of letters to Kwazii when he was in the Amazon, but never sent them. he still wants to give them to him one day.

his eyepatch used to be covering the opposite eye—that's why Kwazii's is on that side, and why his statue (slime eels) and mini carving (pirate parrotfish) both have it on the wrong way. he switched it over when he left to hide live in the Amazon.

Marsh:

genuinely forgets that he's green sometimes. someone will comment on it and he'll be like "????? oh right–"

sings; he used to make up road trip songs with Tweak when she was little. he still knows them all by heart.

slightly hard of hearing (for rabbit standards). hi @timegays. you did this to me /pos

Him 🤝 Barnacles: separation anxiety and a secret fear of storms. i will not elaborate further <3

highkey a dad to 90% of the Everglades creatures. every single one of them is like family to him.

he grew up side-by-side with a lot of the older swamp critters (Belle The Turtle, & maybe Flo The Flamingo), he considers them like his siblings.

his first name is literally "Ranger": he had it legally changed, so that he and Tweak (who decided to go by "Tweak" when she got into engineering) could both be named after their interests.

unintentionally inspired Tweak's engineering special interest. that motorboat he has in The Alligator-Shark? it used to break down constantly, until he taught her how to fix it. she fixed it ONCE and it never broke down again. it gave her such a rush of euphoria that she went around fixing everything, and eventually building new things. and she just,, never stopped.

#love how some of these are angsty and some of em are goofy. no in between #octonauts #octonauts above and beyond #octonauts natquik #octonauts calico jack #ranger marsh octonauts #i dunno what tags to add lol #fun fact: arctic foxes have the warmest fur in the world! do whatever u wish with this information #love how someone in the writing room rly said ''✨ let's give ALL the dads trauma <333 ✨'' /j #i think one of the main reasons natquik didn't sound the octoalert sooner in the red fox is because he secretly enjoyed the company (: #anyways #hi tg 👋👋👋👋 :)) #also btw natquik is autdhd and marsh has undiagnosed adhd. thank you for your time byebye <3 #and ranger marsh is The Dad Ever. byebye² <3

[kart0]

Venting about me being stupid tw ed and suicide thoughts

...hey

I feel like I should start this by saying I've been actually pretty well lately ! I am drawing again, I lost weight which was something I really wanted, I think I made new friends, and I've been growing a lot on social media - I love the attention btw

So what do I have to complain now ? Dani doesn't this get tiring ? Uhhh yes but it's my blog so FUCK YOU

Anyways, it's exam season and there's a lot of things to do. And I have to mention I am illiterate I do not read nor am good at writing. I guess it has to do with my anxiety, I have a lot of thoughts. A LOT. That keep playing 24/7, so it's kinda hard to write something coherent.

So, I have this class, ceramic class, and I am terrible at it. Like. Super bad. Everything I do looks so bad it's literally disgusting to look at. Ok so we had this essay to do and I did, proudly, and I finish it on time which made me so happy. And I thought I did pretty well in fact !

Hm. Thought. We got our grade today and I got such a bad grade. Like. Not even half of the grade. And now I can't stop crying and feeling so stupid specially because ! Basically everyone in my class uses Chatgpt and gets away with it. And I swore, on my life, that I would never, NEVER, use AI to do my work. To do nothing, really. I have an ego the size of the universe, and I am extremely proud. It's my dignity on risk. What would my parents think of me ? What would I think of myself ???? I would never do that. Instead I keep writing everything on my own, with references of course. I used to think I'd rather get a low grade instead of using chat fucking gpt.

Well, now that I actually got a low grade I am really really upset, and regretful. Why did I have to be so proud and stupidly arrogant with my abilities. I know I FUCKING KNOW I can't write for shit. I keep thinking about how I should've used AI.

And I feel so shitty I skipped dinner tonight. Because I feel like I should starve and die. I do not deserve food. All I have to feel right now is fucking pain, and be miserable. Because I am failing this class. And I know, rationally speaking, this is super dumb. It's just a class and it's just one essay y'know. And I need to eat. Cuz honestly I'm pretty hungry.

But I keep thinking about what I did, and how I could've done so much better. I feel like such a fool.

Such a fucking fool.

And now my thoughts are spiraling, how I should either dropout of college (again btw) or kill myself ! Damn bro. Chill for a second.

And I have been eating less. Too less in fact. That's how I've been able to lose weight. So eating even less each time feels like a sickly accomplishment somehow. And I keep weighing myself everyday, morning and night. Sometimes 10 times a day. And all I want is for the number to get lower. It's so sick I should stop but I don't know how. And I feel so embarrassed and ashamed, I haven't told anyone about this.

I need to lose more weight, I NEED to lose more weight. Keeps on replay, and I work even harder to not eat. It's a game of being unworthy of basic human needs. I am starving myself to death. I know that.

And now I am punishing myself by not eating anything at all because of a fucking essay. Why do I keep doing this. What am I even trying to achieve with this. I keep feeling sick and nauseated and it's so bad and I keep taking pills for headaches and I just feel so... stupid

But I need to see me getting skinnier. I feel proud. And there was a time when this happened before too, when I was 18-19. I was so skinny back then and I did not eat.

And now it's happening again and I can't remember how I stopped the first time.

I don't want to feel sick all the time. I don't want to keep looking at the scale. I don't want to think I have to deserve food.

I don't want to die.

But I want this to be over. So much. And I know it's not the end of the fucking world but why, why does it feel like this all the time. Why can't I be normal, and have normal thoughts, and behave normally, and just be fucking ok for once.

I was doing so well... How did I end up like this again.

When will this ever stop ?

#me #rant #vent #uhhhhh