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#back then i loved bleach sooo much it was the only thing that kept me going in my miserable life i mean.
zabiume · 27 days
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What made you start shipping IH? :) (if I can ask)
i got into bleach a little late, so by the time i was watching the hueco mundo arc, the manga had just about wrapped up the fullbring arc. BUT, i was binge-watching so many episodes a day that i ended up catching up to where the manga was a lot faster than i had anticipated 💀 the reason i mentioned this is because the way i binge-watched the series really affected my perception of the pacing, where yammy's attack and orihime saying goodbye to ichigo all happened within like. 2-5 days of each other in real time, just like in the anime. i remember going from not really paying attention to orihime all that much to having her be my favorite character overnight, simply because her lack of self-worth and her insecurities really resonated with me! i kind of had a gut feeling that ichihime would be canon when orihime had that talk with rangiku, but the moment i became really hyped about the ship was during goodbye halcyon days! orihime's speech really floored me, i replayed it like 100x times, i watched 100 AMVs of it, and i was excited to see ichigo go feral when he finally heard the news about her kidnapping, because that's like. a classic romance trope, right? one character not realizing how much the other cares about them? and then the other character proving them wrong in really dramatic ways? my brain had kind of divided the arc into two parts - a) orihime's confession and b) ichigo's response, so i did guess that they would get a lot of moments from here on, but boy i did not anticipate just how many moments that would be. bleach until that point had mostly just been about the plot for me, but that's when i started caring about the ship.
it was around this time that i got curious and went online to see if ichigo and orihime would have any more moments (i was so excited about the possibilities that i didn't mind seeing spoilers) and that's when i saw a clip of the infamous tower scene on youtube and i was like....wow....are you joking rn....is this for real....and then i continued watching the anime and i was like....it is for real and it's actually sooooo insane? my best friend at the time had told me to stop watching bleach after the arrancar arc ends because it gets really bad after, but i wanted to know where ichigo and orihime's relationship was going to go from here (after lust arc). i didn't have a tumblr account at the time but i did lurk around a lot of blogs for other fandoms (this was back when you could take a look at any blog without having to sign up), and that's when i realized that a) the manga was ongoing and i could read that and b) the manga had a lot more moments from earlier arcs that i had either completely glossed over or the anime itself had cut. as you can imagine, this delighted me, who casually shipped ichi/ishi because they were funny together but had no stakes in canon romances. i wanted to see ichihime grow, i'd become very fond of them almost overnight, and in the in-between periods where i waited for the manga to update, i read a lot of fanfic on fanfic dot net and began following people who liked the ship, but i was too scared to post/interact with anyone because the fandom was very different pre-2016 and i was scared of being bullied for liking ichihime lol.
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yamithediaperdork · 4 years
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Baby cuck (Bleach, warning, it gets VERY smutty and dirty!!!)
Ichigo might of been known to the spirit world as a hero without a match, and he might of been known as the loving husband of Reniji, and the owner of a successful noddles shop,But one thing that almost no one knew about him, was that he was a oversized diaper filling baby. It wasn't the kinda of thing him and his husband exactly liked to advertise, and it was the reason that all of Ichigo's diapers were disposable despite Ichigo wanting clothe. "Sweetie I love you, and I'll spoil this side of you, but picture the reaction from the neighborhood kids when they see your diapies and plastic pants on the clothesline." Was Reniji's reasonable stance on it, which had shut Ichigo up. It was after all bad enough he had to wash his few baby outfits in a tub in the basement when he got too much baby food on them, or worse, had a diaper blow out. It was the diaper pooping that caused the most fights about Ichigo's baby side, as Reniji was down with the Ichigo being a little cutie and crawling around, but wasn't so big  on how godawful his husbands dirty diapers were. "But I wanna be a little poo poo pants!" Ichigo would huff and whine, and Reniji would always lose the argument, and just pull out a clothespin for his nose.
Tonight Reniji had surprised Ichigo as he came in from work, slapping the orange haired boy's butt and tell him to go and get a shower, daddy wanted a red faced baby to tease. It was the first time Reniji had insisted on playing but Ichigo wasn't one to look a gift horse in the mouth and raced up the stairs to the bathroom 3 steeps at a time, a faint 'Yesh dada!' left behind. waiting till he heard the taps being turned on, Reniji pulled out his cellphone and hit call on the second contract on the list. "Hey it's me.. Yeah we're still on for tonight. Poo poo pants is just getting a shower in..how long will it take you to get over here?" Renji said, keeping his voice low just in case, and looked at his watch. "Ok. No that's fine, that give me time to get the baby dressed and fed.Can't wait for this~" Reniji said and after a second of listening to the other end, rubbed his crotch. "Love you too. see ya soon~" Heading upstairs Renji wasn't shocked that Ichigo was already getting out of the shower. he seemed to loathe the shower while he could play in the tub for hours if he was having as bath. Which Reniji supposed shouldn't be that much of a shock, he was just a silly big baby. "Did baby wash ALL over?" Reniji asked his still dripping wet baby of a husband, then came over and took the towel from the big baby and started to dry him off,m taking extra care to get Ichigo worked up as he dried the big strong hero's one inch dicklet. Patting the cocklet dry Reniji started to tease his submissive bitch of a hubby. "Awww, somebodies all excited to be going back in thick crinkly DIAPERS huh? And to think, I was gonna give you a chance to try and put this excuse for a cock in me tonight, but decided big baby ICHIGO would rather wear him's fluffy diapies and get teased~" "D-Daddy!" Ichigo whined, but the much stronger boy was caught up in his erotic humiliation and just did what any tiny dick diaper bitch would, and sucked his thumb. "there we go, all nice and dry~ Ready to spend the night in your diapies making tinkles and boom booms in them while daddy jerks off?" Reniji asked, smirking. it was a rule that Ichigo himself had asked, no cumming for diaper babies unless it was unstoppable and just happened. (which sounded like a long shot to Reniji at first but Ichigo had proven that 3 months without shooting his baby milk and then a big poopie would have him moaning like a whore) stroking the tent in his pants Reniji took out the pack of diapers with pink teddy bears on it, Ichigo wasn't a sissy but it helped deflect question, and smirked. "Last chance little man, you wanna get to cum lots riding daddies dick, or just crinkle around like a big dumb baby?" Reniji of course knew what Ichigo was gonna chose, so just chuckled as the so called badass lisped around his thumb. "Diapies daddy. pweasssssse~" "Ok then diaper boy, lay down for daddy. My husband the diaper loser~" As Reniji patted the bed, he thought for sure Ichigo was gonna spurt.
Ichigo was horny and a little confused as he laid on his back, looking up at Reniji and seeing little hearts around him. this was the first time, like EVER he hadn't had to beg and whine for Reniji to go daddy mode and fuck, he was nailing it on all cylinders. Daddy had him on -6- of the thick diapers, and it felt like he was sitting on a body pillow! "Awww, somebodies SUPER excited to go back to pampers huh? who's daddies little poo poo pants?" Reniji asked, tickling Ichigo's belly and making the stronger boy squirm and giggled. "Hehehehe me me! I'm poo poo pants!" Ichigo coo'ed, then sneezed as Reniji was sprinkling him with baby powder. "That's right! my big dumb BABY husband who's rather make boom boom in huggies then get fucked like a MAN." Reniji teased as he taped up the diapers, one by one. "I think maybe I should take somebody to play in the front yard. it's time the WORLD knows what a ba-" Reniji was teasing and it was just too much for Ichigo. Thankfully as Ichigo lost it and started to creamed most of the diapers were taped up. "Awww did poo poo pants make a sticky in him's diapers already? don't think that means you get to be a big boy~" Reniji teased and finished taping the diapers up as Ichigo squirmed, blushing. "Somebodies must of been sooo eager to show daddy he can do ONE thing as a man huh?" Reniji teased more, and pulled out a very suggestive shaped pacifier, that had 'mute button' written on the mouth guard. "Look what daddy got his little diaper boy? now you can practice for when you're big enough to be a good little cock sucker, and not just a diaper filling loser." Reniji said, and slid the cock shaped paci into Ichigo's mouth as he went to whine and ask daddy to tone down the teasing. "Ah ah ah, diaper fags should be seen little guy, not heard." Reniji said and kissed Ichigo's cheek as the big baby started to suckle on the rubber cock. 'Ngggh..He's ticking off every box for how to be a hot dom..but he could tone it down.' the love drunk big baby thought as he suckled.
Reniji carried Ichigo down the stairs and towards the kitchen, joking that he wasn't big enough yet to be walking and he didn't want the baby to hurt himself coming down the stairs. "Maybe after some din din we'll try and let the big little baby try and master walking." Reniji teased as Ichigo sulked and whined, burying his face into his shoulder. "Awww is somebody getting all embarrassed because he's a grown ass man who wants to be a helpless diaper wetting babbbbby?" Reniji asked, patting the dorks butt as he carried him over to a high chair they usually kept hidden away, but he had set up earlier. he plopped the big baby in the seat and before Ichigo could mouth his arms or react, he tugged the ray down, pinning the big babies arms to his sides and smirked as Ichigo squirmed and pouted behind the paci. taking out a bib that read 'daddies Lil stinker' Reniji tried it around Ichigo's neck then lightly tugged on the cockfier, pulling it out and setting it on the tray. "Now I know I said I was making us steak for supper, but I got to thinking..somebodies just too 'widdle' for big kid food like that.." Reniji said, wagging his eyebrows as he set a plate with two steaks, some mashed potatoes and a select of greens on the table for him.. then picked up a oversized jar of prune flavored baby food. "H-Hey Reniji come on, you know I don't really like that stuff." Ichigo whined, squirming in the high chair and trying to free a arm. "Awww, thats so cute mister poo poo pants thinks he can tell daddy what to do!" Reniji chuckled, and got a biggg spoonful of the mush and started towards Ichigo's mouth. "Come on, open wide for the airplane~" he teased as Ichigo whined and glared. Just like the fussy baby Reniji was treating him like, Ichigo turned his face away from the spoon, sure that Reniji would stop, and got baby food on his cheek instead. "H-Hey watch i-" Ichigo started to whine, only to have the spoon with most of the disgusting baby food on it popped in him mouth and making him make a face. "hehehe awww~ who's a fussy eater? you are! yes you are~" Reniji coo'ed. "Ok that's enough, you've gotten carried away. let me out of this damn highchair and I'll go and change while you set a plate for me." Ichigo growled, glaring at Reniji. Reniji wasn't worried though, unknown to his widdle diaper boy, that cockfier had been coated with a drug to nullify all of Ichigo's powers, the big baby might still think he was the baddest ass on the planet, but he was just a helpless diaper boy. "Awww somebodies talking baby babble!" Reniji teased and picked up the cockfier and dripped it in the jar. "Maybe you'd rather eat your num nums this way?" he asked and popped the coated rubber cock in his husband's mouth, laughing as Ichigo made anther face. "Not better huh? well if you'll be a good little boy and eat up, daddy will use the spoon. the sooner you finish this off the sooner you can have some teething bisket's to get the taste out of your mouth." Reniji offered. The look on Ichigo's face was pure rage, but as Reniji pulled the cockfier out, Ichigo just pouted. "Awww whats wrong buddy? you used to gush on and on about how you wanted me to make you a helpless baby! I'm just doing what you wanted..and trust me, it's only gonna get better! or worse depending on how you look at it." Reniji chuckled and winked. "...Just feed me the damn baby food." Ichigo huffed. "Tch..you kiss your daddy with that mouth? somebody just earned a bar of soap instead of biskets!" Reniji scolded, clearly getting into this and spooning a large spoonful of the mush into Ichigo's mouth as he went to yell, and catching some that dribbled out of his mouth and getting it back in. "SUCH a messy boy!" Ichigo huffed and whined and pouted, but got the message and played along, trying to end the torment as quick as he could and MAYBE avoid having to suck on a bar of soap.
Ichigo's tummy felt bloated and full, and he couldn't help but belch every 20 seconds or so, not to mention he'd started to fart up a storm, which only made Reniji laugh and hold his nose. "Whew! somebody can't wait to be poo poo pants huh?" Ichigo didn't risk a response, he was still trying to earn no soap and just opened his mouth for the next mouthful. "Oh, somebody loves his prune baby food now huh? last spoonful but if your still hungry." Reniji was saying, then popped it in the big babies mouth. Gah! Ichigo had NEVER been found of prunes and if this was made with really ones, he was willing to bet that they had smushed them by having a donkey smash it's nuts on them! Unpleasant flavor to start with and a even worse aftertaste! "heh, are you even listening to daddy?" Reniji asked, snapping his fingers as a long bubbly fart escaped from Ichigo's bottom. "S-Sowwy what were you *URP* saying?" Ichigo asked, unable to hold the gas in at either end. "Daddy was telling you how he stocked up on 24 more jars of this baby food for widdle Ichigo. so you can eat this instead of icky big boy food as much as you want." Reniji chuckled. Ichgio whimpered at that, Picturing himself going into work and having his employee listen to him belch and fart. "N-No thankies dada. Can I has biskets now? Pllllllease?" Ichigo tried. Reniji was about to answer when the doorbell rang. "Oh, excuse me, I'll go and see who that is. don't go anywhere." Reniji said and smirked as Ichigo rolled his eyes. Giving the big baby a kiss on the forehead Reniji strolled out of the kitchen, Leaving Ichigo squirming in his high chair, but glad he was out of view of anyone. Of course he toyed with just power housing his way out of the highchair, but figured if he did something like that it would be a cold day in hell before he got Reniji to be this dominant. he let out anther bubbly fart as he looked at Reniji's plate, licking his lips but the sad truth was even if he was offered some of the wonderfully smelling home cooked food (it was in a battle of aromas with Ichigo's gas) truthfully the big baby was too full to eat too much more, he only really wanted the teething biskets to get the horrible taste out of his mouth. A tummy cramp hit and Ichigo closed his eyes, whimpering a little as a very much wetter fart blasted out of him, making his asshole burn and the smell making him wrinkle his nose. "Yucky!" he whined. "I couldn't agree more Poo poo pants." Came a voice, and Ichigo opened his his eyes, a blush covering his face. that hadn't been daddies voice and now, dressed in jeans and a t-shirt, and holding up a smartphone was Toshiro! "Smile for face book diaper dork."
Reniji smirked as he watched Ichigo squirm and try and get free, even as Toshiro snapped picture after picture. "Ah! no! DADDY!" Ichigo whimpered, and Reniji could tell the orange haired boy was doing his best to get free. and utterly failing. "Awww is somebody as weak as the baby he wikes to dress up as?" Toshiro asked, and made a mock pouty face. "Go 'please Toshiro, stop taking pictures of me being a diaper fag!' and I'll stop." the former captain said, switching over to video mode. Ichigo stopped his squirming and glared, and Reniji spoke up. "Either do what he says little man or I have anther three jars of baby food with your name on it." The threat made Ichigo whimper, and blast out a super loud fart that had Toshiro laughing till the smell hit him, then he was gagging and holding his nose. "Ugh! Disgusting! you really stick you dick in this stinky baby?" Toshiro asked, still filming as Ichigo whined in humiliation. "well usually just his mouth. you never know when he's gonna piss himself so taking the diaper off is a bad idea." Reniji chuckled. "R-Reniji stop this! fire truck! fire truck!" Ichigo said, using his rarely called upon safe word. "the fuck is he going on about?" Toshiro asked, turning the smartphone off and retreated a few step, putting his sleeve to his face as the big dumb baby blasted out more gas. "Oh that's his safe word. technically I'm suppose to stop and treat him like a adult now." Reniji said, coming over, and then with Ichigo looking at them hopefully, Planted his mouth to Toshiro's and moaned as the smaller boy instantly took control, kissing Reniji deep and hard for several long seconds as Ichigo whimpered and watched in shock. Breaking the kiss off Toshiro looked over at Ichigo and smirked. "Yeah, fuck that noise..he wants to assault my nose and stink like a baby, he can stay a fucking baby. If you haven't figured it out yet dumb ass, I'm stealing your husband, but don't worry, you can stay here and just be a sad diaper shitting loser for the rest of your life..as long as you call me daddy." There were a few ways Toshiro and Reniji had figured Ichigo would react to the news. anger, tears..but him whimpered and jerking his crotch back and forth and yelling out goo goo gaga as he farted and came, well, that was unexpected. "Shit! should of kept the camera on him. Ah well. always next time." As Ichigo came down from his orgasm, the tears started and the new daddies left the little guy to cry it out as they retreated to the living room to make out in few view of Ichigo, but where the air was a little bit fresher. "Enjoy the show cuck.~" Toshiro called over. Ichigo was clearly fighting the urge to say something and Toshiro shared him a few seconds more attention, then chuckled as Ichigo finally spoke up. "Y-Yesh daddy. fank you."
Ichigo managed to keep from crying too much as he watched the love of his life and the little husband stealer mash lips on the couch. it wasn't fair! hadn't he always been a good husband to Reniji? spoiling him with whatever he wanted?!? How could he just go and turn his back on him like this!? "D-Daddies, can I least go to my room?" Ichigo whined, referring to the spare room that was a makeshift nursery for the nights when Reniji REALLY humored him. 'I wonder how many of those nights when he said he was just downstairs ignoring the BABY..he was really with him. oh fuck! did they ever do it in our bed?!' Ichigo wondered. "Fuck no crinkles. you need to see what kinda attention your ex husband deserves, not that a shrimp dick like YOU could ever do anything." Toshiro sneered, flipping Ichigo off with one hand was snaking the other down the back of Reniji's pants and clearly fingering him, at least for the gasps Reniji was making. Of all the ironies, it was only NOW that Ichigo manged to work a hand free..and all he could do was suck his thumb. "Get that fucking thumb out of your mouth, Suck on your cockfier and watch as i show you what a fucking BITCH your 'daddy' is. and before you ask, Yeah, I fucked him on your bed cuck, both beds. and wiped my cock on your pillows." Toshiro laughed. Ichigo felt fresh tears welling up but was also insanely turned on, and hadn't wanted to suck on the paci since he'd be forced to smell the gas coming out of him now. Still he knew his place, even if he was fighting to adjust and popped the paci in. "Ah..ah fuck.. Please Toshiro..I need you cock in me. This baby dick loser can't even suck me right!" Reniji moaned. "Heh, really? I guess your just a total failure as a man Ichigo, but then again, since your about to shit yourself.. " Toshiro laughed and tugged down Reniji's pants and make the slut bend over the couch. "Feel free to cum as much as you want tonight Ichigo. cuz tomorrow I'm putting a kido seal on you that means you'll NEVER be able to cum without MY permission again. and I'm a fickle daddy~" the platinum blond said and winked. Ichigo whimpered around his paci, but nodded lots even as his nose hairs were burned by the smells coming out of him. Toshiro had spread Reniji's cheeks and was spitting on his hole then unbuttoned his pants, dropping them and making Ichigo gasp and almost lose his paci. the little shorty was hung like a fucking horse! "Don't get any ideas..if you can't suck dick good enough for this slut." Toshiro said and slapped Reniji's ass, making the redhead whimper and moan. "then you're not worthy of sucking me off. your only value to me is taking everything you owe, and making you a permanent red faced baby. Now shit your fucking huggies while daddy fucks mommy." Reniji whined and blushed at being referred to as mommy, but offered up no argument, he instead just gave pathetic whimpers for Toshiro to suffer him. "Not until baby goes boom boom." Toshiro smirked. The thought of shitting himself on purpose, not at least just losing the battle as Toshiro took everything from him was just too much, and Ichigo went to shake his head no but then Reniji shouted. "FUCKING SHIT YOUR HUGGIES FOR MOMMY SO HE CAN GET COCK YOU LITTLE FUCKING LOSER!" Ichigo instantly leaned forward as much as he could and grunted loudly, and it was all the invitation the mud storm in his backside needed. Toshiro laughed as the gross sounding farts ripped out of the baby, but shoved his cock in all at once, making Reniji take all 12 inches in one go, not worried about hurting the bitch since he'd trained Reniji well. Thick logs semi fucked Ichigo as they slid out, making his diaper balloon out and forcing him out, and he found himself griping to the tray for dear life as he was having a mini orgasm every single time the logs rubbed his prostate on the way out. as the diaper filled out he was forced against the tray more and more and his locked up dicklet rubbing against the tray even as the foul filth started to coat his balls, making him have a dry orgasm as he was simply out of baby milk at this point. As Ichigo was fucked by his own filth, Reniji's eyes were rolling up in his head as he bit down on the arm of the couch to keep from screaming out more. even with the brutal pace Toshiro was more then capable of dishing out on his own, Reniji wanted more and thrust back to meet his lovers thrusts. "See Ichigo, this is how MEN fuck.. and what your doing..that's how BABIES fuck. is it any wonder I'm taking that away from you? Or maybe I won't. let me talk about it with your mother." Toshiro teased and buried himself in Reniji and stopped. "What do you think darling, should the baby be allowed to cum?" "Ah..ah..Daddy please.." Reniji whimpered out, a mewing noise that Ichigo had NEVER manged to get from him. "More..I..I need more " "heh, you'll get it..but answer the man of the house first 'wife'..Should.The. Baby. Be . Allowed. To. Cum?" Toshiro asked, spanking Reniji's ass as he said it. "W-whatever you want dear husband. Your the boss~" "Damn right." Ichigo was filling what was left for space in his diapers with a thick ooze now, and whimpered, and of course, came again before passing out in his highchair. "..Fucking Lightweight.. Come on bitch, we're moving this party upstairs, the baby fucking stinks." Toshiro said and pulled out, heading for the steps, then turning around. "Well come on, unless you'd rather give up this dick to just put the baby to bed. he'll be fine." "yes dear." Reniji said, and hobbled after Toshiro. "Good girl~"
While Ichigo slept downstairs in his high chair and poopie diaper, the new husband and wife (or at least soon to be) took to the room that had formerly been Ichigo's and Renji's, and now belonged to Toshiro and Reniji. Getting his cock hungry 'wife on all fours, Toshiro snatched a framed wedding photo of the too and sneered. "Awww how fucking cute." he teased, and took the picture out and placed it on the bed, under Reniji's 6 inches of throbbing fuck meat. "W-what are yo-" Reniji started to ask, but was cut off. "Your gonna cum all over it to prove to me your ready to divorce that pathetic diaper loser and marry me..or your not getting anymore dick." Toshiro said, and slid his cock between Reniji's cheeks, smirking as he felt the bitch's hole twitch in need. "Any arguments?" "..No sir." "Good gurl~" Toshiro laughed and slammed into the bigger but totally much more submissive man. truthfully Toshiro had yet to met ANY guy, gay, bi or strait who could resist falling to their knees once his cock was on display and he gave the order. he sometimes wondered if it was a super power or if he just gave off such a powerful aura of dominance that he could make any man he met into nothing more then a cock puppet. But for now he had duties to perform as a newly wed (so to speak) husband and a eager 'wife' who demanded his full attention. Slamming his thick fuck meat in and out of Reniji's hole, it was really only Toshiro's mastery of a healing Kido that had prevented the red head from joining his loser husband in huggies, and he gleefully spanked the slut with one hand as he made sure to take a firm hold of the bitch's cock and aim it on the picture. there would be NO accidents here, and no excuses. "Tell me how much you love me balls deep in you bitch." Toshiro moaned, feeling his peak surprisingly coming MUCH faster then normal, though again with his love of degrading losers, and what he was doing here, was it any shock he might be a little bit of a quick shot for a change? "F-Fuck, Your dick just feels sooo fucking good in my ass pussy~ I almost never want it out of me and could just stay here on the end of you forever if we could work it somehow!" Reniji panted, his dick throbbing in Toshiro's hand, letting the smaller man know his bitch was about to cum too. "on the c-count of three cunt. cum with me~" Toshiro ordered, leaning down and stroking Reniji stilled while aiming his cock, but pinching the red head's nipples and nibbling on the back of his neck. "One..Two..THREE! FUCKING CUM!" Toshiro grunted and then shot load after load into his lover, filling him with thick man milk and making the red head's belly bloat out a little from the amount he was taking even as Reniji screamed and sprayed the bed and photo of him and Ichigo with his own cum shot. "F-FUCK! I FUCKING LOVE YOUUUUU!" the red head howled. "Fucking love sick fag." Toshiro teased, both of them laying on their sides, recovering and panting. But being the kind and loving husband he was, Toshiro kept his cock in his bitch.
Ichigo woke up in darkness in the kitchen and still in his highchair. He smelled awful and for a second he wondered if he had actually dreamed everything that had happened. but well, being in his highchair still, and the clock on the stove saying midnight...That wasn't like Reniji. 'Oh fuck..Oh fuck! I..he..' Ichigo thought, whimpering softly and then starting to cry in the dark. In all honesty he couldn't really blame Reniji for going and getting what he needed from anther man. Ichigo had been egging for more and more baby time lately and it looked like that was EXACTLY what he was going to get. Thinking about how he was going to be dumped more or less, and thinking about just what his new life would be like, Ichigo's dicklet throbbed in his poopie pampers even as his bun's were starting to burn from diaper rash. Daddy.. there was no calling him Toshiro anymore, he was daddy, Had told him to enjoy all the cummies he could while he had the chance, so Ichigo did the only thing he really could do, still trapped in his own filth. he started to fuck his diaper again. As he did so he pictured all the torments and humiliation he was going to suffer, how he would be playing outside, in his diapers, how he would be giving up everything he owned and the thought of it made him moan and rock harder. He really did deserve all of this and worse, he wanted it! Still as he rocked himself he didn't notice that the high chair, while built strong, had been abused a bit too much before and during his little nap. One of the legs was wobbling now and as Ichigo started to fire off a weak pathetic load of baby milk, the leg gave way. His babygasm was ruined as he slammed into the floor, hitting his face though he thankfully didn't break anything. His fall had the side effect of freeing him from the chair chair and he crawled in the dim light provided by the LED clock on the stove over to where the light switch for the kitchen SHOULD be, and felt his way up the wall before finally finding it and switching it on. Looking at the chair, he could see that not only was it basically ruined, it was shit stained as he had clearly leaked in his sleep, and he had even left a trail of filth across the kitchen floor as he made his way to the wall. "...Oh shit. I'm gonna be in SO much trouble." Ichigo whimpered. surveying the damage. "You got that right mister." Came Reniji's voice behind him. His ex was dressed in a night robe and looked pissed and sleepy, clearly he had been fucked hard and enjoying a rest till Ichigo had woken him up. "I..I uh..I sowwy mommy?" Ichigo tried weakly. "Not yet you aren't.."
One quick shower later, and Ichigo was in fresh diapers and a pale blue diaper shirt. His butt had thankfully gotten some treatment from Reniji's shaky use of Kido but it was better then nothing as Ichigo found himself with a bucket and a sponge, and scrubbing his mess off the floor under Reniji's watchful gaze. "Just be grateful it's me and not your father who came down to see this, you'd be cleaning it up with your mouth." Reniji said, though he had no idea if that was true or not. Regardless, the threat motivated Ichigo to go into over drive and scrub faster. As the last of the filth was cleaned up and the High chair set out by the trash bin to be collected, Reniji showed some SLIGHT mercy on the dumb diaper cuck and picked him up, carrying him up the steps and to his nursery. "Get some sleep little guy. you have a longggg day ahead of you. You're gonna be signing over everything to me and Toshiro and ending up with not.a.thing~" Reniji said as he tucked Ichigo into his crib, and tapped a finger on his nose. "Mister big shot cash to burn is gonna have to beg like the little boy he is if he wants anything." Reniji added and smirked as Ichigo squirmed. "But don't worry, No matter what your father tells you, I won't let him kick you out. you might be a dumb diaper filling big bay..but your MY dumb diaper filling big baby." with that said Reniji gave the big baby's forehead a kiss and chuckled as Ichigo gave out a small "Fank ku Mommy..wuv you."
The next morning Toshiro was PISSED to find out what had happened, but was convinced that they needed Ichigo in reasonable shape for going and seeing the lawyer. "Look, if he comes in blubbering and holding his butt, it doesn't matter HOW much cash we throw at the guy, he's not gonna let Ichigo sign his shit over to us." "Damn it..Your right." Toshiro sighed and looked at Ichigo. the new parents were eating bacon and eggs at the table, while Ichigo was slowly spooning some bland oatmeal into his mouth sitting on a towel on the floor. "You have a date with mister paddle when we get home though little man, understand? the better behaved you are while we're out though, the least swats you'll get when we get back." "Y-yesh daddy I understand." Ichigo squeaked, and the 'proud' parents exchanged smirks as the hiss of a diaper being soaked was heard. "Hurry up with your oatmeal little guy, Mommy needs to get you dressed still." Reniji said. He'd fully taken on the role of mother of the house, up to including wearing a frilly pink apron over his t-shirt and jeans as he'd cooked breakfast. Toshiro finished his food and went off to have his 'morning glory' as he put it, leaving the bitch work for his darling wife, not that Reniji minded one bit. After helping Ichigo finish his oatmeal by sitting down and spoon feeding him, Reniji gave him a ba-ba of formula and dish soap and started the dishes, keeping a eye on the little stinker even as he made yucky faces. "sorry sweetie, but daddy wanted to see if we could have you burping bubbles." Reniji chuckled. "...I'll twy." Ichigo whimpered even as the foul mixture coated his touge and upset his tummy. As the babies ba-ba and finishing the dishes, Reniji carried Ichigo back up to his nursery and got him changed out of his sopping wet diapers and into dry ones, though it was only double layered. "we're trying to present a semi normal appearance, so TRY not to soak though these little guy." Reniji explained as he tapped them up. Toshiro came in shortly after, while Reniji was trying to pick out a outfit that wouldn't stand out TOO much, but make sure the little guy knew his place and placed a hand on the front of the babies diapers. "You didn't think I forgot about taking away your cummies did you?" He asked. the big baby poked his fingers together, laying on his changing table. "I was hoping.." "awww, thats cute. and stupid. say 'bye bye' to cumming without daddies permission little one~" Toshiro said, his voice dripping with mock sweetness. Toshiro of course had just been being his usual mean self, but even he had to pause and give a legit d'aww when Ichigo spoke up. "Bye bye cummies. I's gonna miss ou but da-da knows best." Ichigo coo'ed, tearing up and then giving a cute little burp and damn it if he didn't make a little bubble. "Shit..I'm starting to see why you put up with his shitty diapers." Toshiro said, though he still finished the kido spell.
20 minutes later and Reniji and Toshiro were dressed to kill, wearing black dress pants, white dress shirts and suit jackets with dress shoes. Ichigo on the other hand, well there was only so much Mommy had been able to do with the limited wardore of a adult toddler. His outfit consisted of light up paw patrol sneakers, a white diaper shirt to help keep his padding from fading, and a pair of blue jean short all with a lion on the front pocket that looked like Kon. He was holding onto Mommy and daddies hands as they walked towards the lawyers office, and found himself wishing that they'd let him bring a stuffie, or a paci to suck on as he got nervous. which wasn't good because when he got nervous his bladder tended to shrink to the size of a pea and they had left the diaper bag behind. whatever Ichigo did in his diapies he was stuck in them till they got back home. Of course they got looks from people around the block as they made their way, it was summer and Ichigo had complained more then once about 'fucking kids getting in his fucking way' after a bad day of work. To say that this had made him less then popular, and gotten his car egged (the only reason they weren't using it right now was it was in the shop getting a new paint job) over and over again was a understatement. "heh..Check it out, the terror of 9th street is a freaking little!" one teen aged boy said, speaking loudly to his friends as his voice carried. "the heck is a little?" "It's a diaper wearing doofus. Hey Reniji! can we play with the baby?" the teen called out. It was Toshiro of course who answered back, looking over his shoulder. "After we get back, and he gets a spanking." Toshiro said, and let go of Ichigo's hand to pat the big babies butt, the crinkle and whomp sound of his diapers making the teens and other kids who were gather laugh. to say the less, This didn't help Ichigo in his efforts to keep his diapers clean.
The only had to wait a short while in the waiting room, Ichigo was the top client of the law office after all. Still, the 15 minutes Ichigo spent on the floor, a coloring book in front of him and lazily filling in the pictures with crayons was more then enough to get snickers and smirks from the staff, and caused him to wet his diaper. Getting into the office, his lawyer wanted to make sure that Ichigo understood everything that was going to happen, though he also brought Reniji and Toshiro story that Ichigo was on the verge of a mental breakdown. (the fact that Ichigo spent the meeting in Reniji's lap and getting his butt patted every time he was handed something to signed helped) His Lawyer told them that he would start the process as soon as they were gone, and that by the end of tomorrow at the latest, Noodle noodle come get your noodle would belong to Reniji, and that Toshiro had replaced Ichigo on the bank account and the deed to the house. "As for you..I hope you get better soon little guy, here, have a treat on me" his now ex lawyer said, patting Ichigo's head and handing him a Lime lollipop, which had been Ichigo's LEAST favorite flavor. Ichigo, who couldn't of tasted the candy anyways with his soap soaked thumb lisped out a thank you and popped it into his mouth, knowing better then to be rude and waving bye bye with his free hand, let Reniji carry him out of the office, getting a small degree of revenge on the snickering staff as they were almost at the door, letting out a long bubbly fart.
Making their way back towards the house, Ichigo tried to nuzzle into Reniji for protection as they came up on their street again, where the kids were waiting for them. "Holy crap, I didn't wanna believe it but.." One girl said, looking amused and taking out her phone. "Ha! Reniji's with anther guy! Ichigo's a freaking cuck!" A 11 year old snorted. "whats a cuck?" a five year old asked, which got the 11 year old elbowed. "..I'll tell you when your older." a 3 year old giggled like crazy as he looked at Ichigo, and in barely understandable toddler speak (translated for your convince) proclaimed. "hehehe he's in diapies! even -I- dun wear diapies anymore! or pull ups!" Toshiro smirked and nodded. "well see, that's because your a BIG kid..and he's just a oversized baby, RIGHT Ichigo?" Toshiro asked, not even looking at him. "..Yesh daddy. me a big baby." the ex terror of 9th street whimpered, his candy treat gone and feeling his tummy acting up. a long fart escaped from him and the girls and boys made faces, though most of the girl's lost interest in the big baby while the boys laughed. "wait, does he CRAP himself!?!" "oh, that's one thing my little excels at, filling his diapers to the brim~" Reniji said, smirking. "Say, you kids wanna play with him for a bit while me and Reniji go inside and take care of some stuff? a big baby like Ichigo needs all the big brothers and sister he can get. and don't worry about hurting his feelings, he's just a fucking baby." Toshiro said, though his use of a swear word made some of the older kids put their hands over the younger ones ears. "uh..Sweetie. I think we should get the little guy inside first an-" Reniji said, he could FEEL how squishy Ichigo's diapers were and knew he was gonna 'go off' any second with a epic diaper mess. "Stop fucking coddling the loser, and set him down. he's gonna have to face this sooner or latter, and might as well get it over with NOW." Toshiro said, in a tone the allowed no argument. turning his attention to Ichigo as he was set on his feet, Toshiro grinned. "Ok little guy, i want you to play nice with your new friends, But you also have to keep your outfit clean for daddy and mommy." This got snickers from the crowd as it was Reniji's turn to blush. "Y-Yesh daddy. I'll twy." Ichigo whimpered, his thumb going into his mouth after and making a face as a very sick sounding fart escaped. "well let me put it this way, if you wanna be able able to sit anytime this week, your little outfit will be spotless. You kids will try and make sure he doesn't get it dirty..right?" Toshiro asked, winking to the kids , many of who were getting evil grins and looking for dirt clogs. "Anyways, have fun, and thanks again kids. Come on MOMMY, we have stuff to do." Toshiro said and turned away, leaving Ichigo at the mercy of the boys around him. Ichigo looked to Reniji, eyes pleading for help but Reniji just gave him a helpless snug, then chased after Toshiro. "Coming dear!' The weren't even inside as the first lump of dirt exploded on the butt of Ichigo's diaper, and the big baby burst into tears as his bowels gave wait, visibly making his diaper puff out rapidly as more dirt was tossed at him, his tears making the bits that hit his face turn to mud. He was nothing but a fucking joke, doomed to be a smell big baby for life, and bullied by all of these kids. and even as he whined in pain and humiliation he had a final thought. 'I love my daddy and mommy.'
The (SMELLY) end
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heartau · 5 years
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Oooh you went to Neocity right? I’d love to hear descriptions of the boys in the words of a writer 🥰
omg this sounds fun !!! ok before i start this i just wanna say this is from what i personally saw when i saw them live. i was relatively close to the stage, enough to make eye contact and to be waved at, so i’ll do my best!!
taeyong: seeing him in real life was a little surreal because he looks exactly how he does in pictures and videos which is already jarring because he’s already really beautiful through those. he has really big, expressive eyes and the warmest smile; every time he would look at the audience he’d have this small smile that looked like pride. it was really really heartwarming to see. he has such a calming, relaxed and cute aura durings ments but once he started to perform... whew! his head also really big, honestly a lot of their heads were really big in real life which is adorable idjdjddk, but yeah!! i made eye contact with him a number of times and you would think his gaze would be intimidating but it really really wasnt! the only word i can describe the feeling i got from him is motherly :(
johnny: first and foremost, i do not believe that he’s 6’1... that man is gigantic. his proportions are so good, his leg to chest ratio is so... [chef’s kiss]. what you see of him in videos is truly what he is in real life, he’s so goofy and funny and lively and he always encouraged other members to do their thing as well. he’s honestly so hilarious too which makes me sad because it makes me feel like we’d get along really well if i knew him personally ... man i just wanna be his bff. but yeah he’s really tall, like towering over the other members tall; even taller than jungwoo, who was surprisingly tall as well. maybe it’s just me because i’m really short. he also has a small face in real life, but at the same time his features are so expressive that you dont even realize it haha. but yeah he’s just a happy, talented, gentle giant.
jungwoo: if i could describe jungwoo in one word it would be cherub-like. he literally has the softest features ever and he moves so gracefully, he literally glowed on stage and it was kinda shocking really. he was also really tall omg, like i was expecting it anyways since i knew that he’s around 6ft, but like... he’s REALLY tall. he has the SOFTEST, most honey-like voice but he speaks with so much confidence, it’s so so so cute and made me so happy. he also has really fluffy hair, like even from my seat i could see how soft and light his hair was; every movement he made that night just made his hair whip around really easily, like even if it was bleached you really couldn’t tell because his hair didn’t look fried at all. all in all jungwoo was truly angel-like and very graceful.
taeil: oh man taeil is beautiful on screen and through pictures already but in person he glows 100x more. he has really, really pretty skin that made him shine under the spotlight and his jawline is REALLY sharp omg. he’s also really short (which i was expecting... probably still taller than me though) and has a big head hehe. he’s also one of the members that had a really calming, nurturing energy, during the ments he would literally have heart eyes full of pride when he’d look at the audience, it was really really heartwarming. a GOOD butt. also his vocals are so, so, sooo good and very stable - there was one point (i think it was back 2 u(?) i can’t remember anything from that night other than my videos) where he used his headvoice for the highnote and not falsetto and it floored me - i’m a classically trained vocalist so you bet i freaked out in the audience. but yeah, taeil is just really calming and nurturing and REALLY funny too :(
yuta: yuta honestly shocked me because although i knew that he’s baby from interviews and other clips, i was still somehow intimidated by him, but when i saw them live he really stomped on my intimidation. he literally has the most fresh, most positive, most genuinely kind energy i’ve literally ever felt :( he had the biggest smile throughout the night, every time i’d look at him he’d just be grinning from ear to ear. “healing smile” doesn’t even come close to describing how GOOD his smile is in real life. he’s also short, something i really wasn’t expecting, like a good 2nd or 3rd shortest - really really REALLY funny too and a REALLY good dancer, i got some of his freestyle dance on camera and every time i watch it, i’m floored bc he hits every beat on the spot. i made eye contact with him at one point and i remember feeling just so happy and at peace, like... he’s not intimidating at all... he’s just a happy boy :(
mark: ohh mark... i see mark as a childhood friend so when he came out on stage i literally felt tears spring in my eyes. i live in vancouver and saw them in vancouver so i feel like that kinda intensified it a bit more as well. he is SOOOOOO undeniably funny its crazy, throughout the night i’d just be laughing at things he’d say (that were intended to be humourous ofc). his head also really big omg it was kinda jarring, and taller than i expected. his stage presence is so good, everytime they’d perform my eyes would sometimes land on him, literally SO good. honestly, when i walked into that venue i was expecting him to cry which i feared for because when someone cries, then i cry, but he didn’t!! although after the concert ended, when they were saying their goodbyes, they left mark alone to say his own goodbyes and when he was doing so, his voice kinda cracked before he did this bow and his eyes were a little glossy and i got SO SCARED because i didn’t wanna cry rkdndkdndk but yeah :( im proud of mark and you can tell that he holds pride in what he does as well!
donghyuck: MAN... donghyuck literally has the most beautiful skin i’ve ever seen. i know i’ve said this before but he glows, like he literally glows, fullsun is an appropriate nickname for him. he emitted nothing else but cute, happy, mischeviohs energy during ments but once he started performing his vibe changed so drastically it was crazy - especially during wake up and baby don’t like it. there was one part during baby don’t like it when he pressed his forehead against taeil’s and when i tell you how much i lost it because i wasn’t expecting it... oh man. i also see donghyuck as a best friend; i was born a week before he was and our natal charts are exactly the same save for our moons, so seeing him rip it up on stage was so so soo good it made me so proud :( i made eye contact with him somewhere during summer 127?? I WAS SO HAPPY AFTER like it was refreshing omg i sound so silly but im telling the truth iddndkjd he’s also shockingly tall as well, around mark’s height, maybe even taller, and REALLY long legs. like a good 90% of his body was made of leg didjdjdjd but yeah donghyuck is just... he’s really the sun and he was meant to perform.
doyoung: i will start this off by saying; i left that venue as a doyoungzen. doyoung... whew... he also shocked me because through videos and pictures i was NEVER intimidated by him at all, i honestly genuinely always just saw him as cute baby but man oh man. you know when you just KNOW that someone’s rich by the way they hold themselves? that’s doyoung... he’s really regal-like and holds himself really gracefully, like a strict prince type. he intimidated me SO much that night (in the best way possible... sexy intimidation... dont worry) like his energy was just so... intense. i made eye contact with him a number of times and when i tell you how SMALL i felt just from meeting his eyes... my goodness. he has really broad shoulders and a tiny waist, also really tall, small-ish head. his features are REALLY sharp like it’s crazy, i really have no other way to explain it. he also has really pretty hands, nimble-looking fingers. he was really adorable during ments and at one point kept hopping which was so CUTE but even then... man. his energy is just really intense. i ended up making him one of my ults after i left the venue.
jaehyun: deep inhale... so. jaehyun. honestly its kinda silly because i can remember so many details from the other members but i feel like once it comes to jaehyun i’m at a loss of words because of how in SHOCK i was to see him up close bc as you all know he’s my ultimate bias, it was my three years with him a few weeks ago. but gosh... jaehyun... i really can’t see the whole “cold prince” image they give him bc he’s so chill and relaxed? ok wow a few memories are coming to mind now; he has a really big head, which i was expecting because i’ve seen people talk about how big his head is but yeah it’s big but it’s CUTE he’s just a little bobblehead :( i made so much eye contact with him that night too and god like. i got some of those moments on camera and you can see through the videos how i’d just FREEZE every time we jefkenfkd he’s just... really chill, really relaxed, let the other members do their thing, but at the same time really silly and had this aura of confidence which was really nice. a lil shorter than i expected omg but his skin was reeallllyyyy nice and he’s very pale irl omg. he waved at me and my friend at the end of the show and i also got it on video and like... every time i watch it its just so surreal cuz like ... 😭 LIKE WHAT NOW how am i supposed to live the rest of my life now knowing i reached my peak at neocity like .... bruh
all in all these boys are just so talented and have the best stage presence ever, and they’re super SUPER interactive with the fans. beingin the crowd during touch and replay was just so... nice :( it was truly one of the happiest moments in my life and i hope that they come back soon !!! i also hope that the next time i see them, winwin is part of 127 again as well :( and lastly, i also hope that whoever is reading this sees them in the future as well bc u deserve it!!!
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pandabearisaunicorn · 5 years
Text
Hydra’s Secret Weapon
Hydra’s Secret Weapon
Part 1
Word Count: 2.5k
Pairing: Steve Rogers x Fem!Reader
Warnings: Endgame Spoilers!! Small mentions of violence
Summary: As the world around you is crumbling down, half of the universe just gone and it leaves the rest of the Avengers into desperation and that’s when they find you. You and your two best friends who suppress special powers who could be key in defeating Thanos. Will they succeed or fail? That’s all up to you.
A/N: SOOO I came up with this idea of a storyline that happens during endgame, I just hope that it comes down on paper just as good as in my head. Fingers crossed! When written in cursive it’s flashbacks.Btw I apparently suck at writing this summary, might change that one up later idk (cringe face)
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The year was 1941, you had just finished your work shift at the local newspaper. Since you were a young female in the 40’s Germany it wasn’t easy getting a well-paid job so you took what you could get, even if that was cleaning the office.
It was the beginning of December and the wind blew cold on your face as you walked along the pavement. Your heels clicking with each step and your skirt and coat blowing in the harsh wind. You couldn’t wait to get home and warm yourself in front of the fireplace and gossip with your two best friends, Ellie and Elena.
You got to know the two sisters when you attended the local university and the three of you were inseparable ever since. Here you were, the three of you sharing a way to overpriced apartment in the center of Berlin and you couldn’t see your life without them. Since you lost your father to the war and your mother to illness they were the only thing that you could call family.
But, there’s always a but somewhere right? As you walked up to the front door of your apartment something felt different. You decided to turn the handle to see if the door was unlocked, something you never did knowing that the three of you always locked the door. Today it was open, your thoughts running towards that either Ellie or Elena must’ve forgotten, but they never did, did they?
You opened the door quietly and you were instantly met with dead piercing silence, something you weren’t used to. You took a big breath before continuing your pace into the apartment, leaving the door open. As you turned the corner you were met with both of your friends knocked out on the ground, a tall man dressed in all black sitting on one of the armchairs in front of the running fireplace. You looked at him in fear, his long fingers wrapped around a cigar and his eyes turned to look at you.
“I’ve been waiting for you Ms. y/l/n” He said, his voice low and intimidating. “It just so happens your friends here will do me so much more help than just you”
“What do want?” You asked, meaning for it to sound just as intimidating as his words but you failed, your words coming out more like a whimper than a threat.
“Oh darlin’ you’re going to be my secret weapon” his voice growing darker and his eyes black as he looked you up and down. You turned away from him, trying to escape. “No need to try to run away from me darlin’ you’ll only end up more hurt”
And just like that you felt something hit you in the back of the head harshly and you fell to the floor, everything turning black.
....
You woke up with a heavy chest and sweat running down your forehead, instantly looking around the room. You breathed out as you realized you were still in your small studio apartment in Brooklyn. The memories from your past still engraved in your mind and came to haunt you at night.
The three of you was able to run away from your kidnapper five years ago, that was in 2017, it’s now 2023 and you had been living under your kidnappers roof for over 80 years. You stopped counting centuries ago.
As the years passed you started to search for information about your kidnapper, realising that the name of the organization was Hydra and their original head courter was here in the United States. Due to your “work” you had been all around the world doing their dirty work, such as murder. All that while all three of you were experimented on. They wanted to create the most vicious and dangerous assassin they could. They had started with the super soldier serum that Dr. Abraham Erskine created in the 1940’s and made the oh so famous Captain America, what a joke. The story still made you laugh as you couldn’t imagine anything good coming out of a serum like that.
The second thing to come off that serum was the Winter Soldier, a man you feared for your life, the man who nearly killed you because you talked up to your boss. So, yeah you thought it was filled with humor that something good could come out of that.
Then there was the three of you, they had other plans for you. They did inject the super soldier serum but that didn’t stop them. They wanted to create a weapon, a human weapon to end their enemies and whoever stood in the way of them not succeeding. So, they created the ultimate trio, not just one but three. They managed to work in your DNA, making you inhumanly fast, inhumanly strong. They created a piece in your mind so you enveloped telekinesis, so you could move things with your mind including yourself and other people. A trait they used in their advantage and tortured you to only use it on their command. That’s what they did to all three of you, torturing and creating the perfect well trained assassins.
As they used the three of you for their personal use they froze you down alongside the Winter Soldier to keep you young and mind washed. To say the least not an easy time for you.
And now here you were, five years free and five years since people around you just turned to dust. You were happy that you had Ellie and Elena with you and none of them turned to dust in your hands.
You took another breath before stepping out of the bed and in to the small kitchen, turning on the coffeemaker and taking your red mug from the second shelf. Sighing in relief as you smelt the fresh smelled of coffee in the morning.
“Oh god do I love it when you make coffee in the morning” Elena groaned in her German accent as she walked into the kitchen.
“I know you do” You said, your face still towards the window above the sink.
“You know, you could use your powers for that” Elena stated as she sat down on one of the chairs around your round kitchen table, leaning against the red brick wall behind her.
“Yeah I know, it just feels good to do it by hand you know, somewhat feel normal” You said as you poured the fresh brewed coffee into your red mug and her green one.
“Yeah I know what you mean, I just feel better when I can use it for something good rather than bad” Her voice low and her eyes looking up at you as you set her cup down in front of you.
“Yeah and you’re getting good at that” you said and sat opposite her. “Wish I was”
“You will” she said and put her hand over yours.
....
Meanwhile back at the Avengers Compound, Natasha Romanoff was still searching for ways to bring all of these people back from the snap and looking for her friend Clint Barton at the same time. Whom everyone around her kept saying was a lost cause and she didn’t want to believe that at all. Yet she found herself crying every time she was alone, it was more of a routine now a days. 
That’s how Steve found her that afternoon, crying. Her feet up on the desk, hands covering her face and tear stained cheeks. Her blond bob had now grown out long and her bright red hair back, only the tips still bleached. He thought she looked just like herself except the tear stained cheeks, it wasn’t like her or more like the old her, now this was something he had to see daily.
“Found anything?” Steve asks as he sits down opposite her, her hands falling to her lap and her eyes glued on the images In front of her.
“No, it’s dead” She mumbled before raising to her feet. Seeing a picture of three girls all dressed in black leather head to toe. “Wait a minute”
“What is it?” Steve asks as he studies her features for any sign of what was coming.
“They, they’re real. I’ve always heard stories of these inhuman assassins that have incredible powers” She rambled on as she searched the web for them.
“You want to get help by assassins?” He asked in disbelief.
“I am one remember? Your friend Bucky is one. Maybe these girls are just like us, brainwashed and tortured. What if these girls can help us defeat Thanos? Steve we need to give this a chance? It’s just us now, we need more people on board” She exclaimed, he looked up at her and then at the picture of the three girls. 
She was right, to him they looked normal in the latest picture they were out having lunch or something, laughing and joking around. They looked like any group of girlfriends, normal. Maybe it was worth a try.
...
You were currently seated at the kitchen table reading today’s paper, that was something you kept doing as a reminder of your past. Elena was seated opposite you, her face stuck in her computer and she tried to get down with the kids as Ellie said. Everything was easier for Ellie, she was 10 years younger than you were which made her 16 the year all of you were taken away. Elena and you shared the same birth year, 1914, which made the two of you 26 at the time. Now 83 years later you were 109 years old, nothing you could see if you looked in the mirror, it was almost unbelievable that you could stay young for so long. Not a single grey hair or wrinkle in sight.
As Ellie were just turned 16 when you were taken she missed a lot in her school years so you and Elena decided that it was best for her to continue her last school years and trying to have a somewhat normal high school experience. She wasn’t hyped about it the first time you guys brought it up but when she came home after her fifth day at school and was talking nonstop about this boy Peter you knew she was enjoying herself.
You were just about to turn the page when there was a loud knock on the door, both you and Elena looking up at each other in confusion.
“Who could that possibly be?” Elena asked as you stood up to answer the door.
“I have no idea” You mumbled out as you slowly opened the door, still afraid of who’ll find you.
You were met by a petite yet well trained woman, her hair long and red yet her the tips of her hair bleached. She was stunning, you thought to yourself as you looked confused at her. She smiled warmly at you before opening her mouth to talk. 
“I’m Natasha Romanoff, I just wanted to talk to you about something really important”
“I’m sorry but I don’t want to hear it” You said and ready to close the door her hand came up to keep it open.
“Trust me y/n, you want to hear about this” The woman named Natasha said, her now warm look gone with desperation.
“Let her at least tell us what she wants” Elena said behind you and you looked over at her.
“Fine” You said and let her inside your small apartment.
She looked around the place as you closed the door behind her. Elena mentioned for her to sit down at the table as she grabbed another mug from the cabinet and pouring up some coffee for her which she gladly took.
“So, for the record I always thought you guys were a myth” Natasha started off as all of you were sat around the table.
“Well, clearly not a myth” You said with a smile, clearly warming up to her as time passed.
“Yeah well I’ve done my research on you and we need your help” She said and looked desperate at the two of you. “Though I was sure you were three”
“Yeah we are, Ellie’s at school. Why do you want our help?” Elena said, her accent thicker when the nervousness took over her.
“Oh alright, we need your help to defeat Thanos’ snap, when he erased half of the universe he took away son many lives including a lot of people we hold dear” Natasha explained and you just got more confused.
“Who are you anyways? And who’s Thanos? Can we really trust you?” You blurted out which only made her laugh.
“Of course you can, I’m with the Avengers, I’m sure you heard about us sometime” She said and that name sure did ring a bell.
“Yeah, that gang of superheroes who save the world? Yeah heard about you” Elena said and her voice filled with despite as you know what she thought about them.
“We are not as bad as you think Elena” Natasha said and she sure impressed you with her research skill.
“Sorry, didn’t mean to sound offensive” Elena said as you took another sip of your coffee.
“So why do want our help? The only thing our powers are good at is dark stuff” You said and Natasha looked up at you, her eyes filled with empathy as a small smile spread across her lips.
“No it’s not, your powers could help us with so much and for good! We will help you train, help you control your powers and I’m sure you’re great at helping us finding a way to reverse Thanos’ snap” Natasha said and you thought about giving it a chance.
“If we say yes to this, where will we go and when?” You said and Elena looked at you in shock.
“Preferably today and to the Avengers Compound about 1 hour from the city” Natasha said and you looked over at Elena, her face confused yet she nodded at you.
“Yes, we want to help” You said and a wide smile spread across Natasha’s lips, a genuine one and it was sure contagious as you could feel a smile spread across your own.
Yes, you truly did believe that this could be a fresh new start for your little family yet you were terrified of what will happen and if you could really control your powers, you had always had a hard time with that. So yeah, you were completely terrified.
 To be continued...
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mirkwoodshewolf · 6 years
Text
The start of an apprenticeship; Newt Scamander x teen reader
While I was posting up my Supernatural fics I thought why not give u guys more Newt. Now this was one of my recent and first Newt Scamander requests I got recently on Wattpad. And let me just say I had a FREAKIN blast with this story :) So I hope all of you enjoy this as much as I enjoyed writing it. I was sooo happy that someone asked for a Newt request and I delivered if I do say so myself :)
Warnings: Nifflers, Demiguises, Newt Scamander fluff, Goldstein sister fluff, but real warning here, TORTURE (using one of the unforgivable curses), other than that just fluff and nifflers.
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It first started off with a simple Thanksgiving vacation from Ilvermory. I had gone to visit my older sisters Tina and Queenie to surprise them but when I got there, it turns out I was on the receiving end of a surprise, when my eldest sister Tina had brought in men into our apartment when the landlady strictly forbids men from entering the premises.
“(Y/n) what a surprise” my big sis Queenie stated happily as she came up and hugged me tightly.
“Hey Queenie, mind telling me why there are men in our apartment?” I asked nervously.
“I think you should talk to Teenie” I turned towards my eldest sister and she explained that Mr. Scamander the wizard wearing the blue trench coat had committed a crime against the secrecy of Wizard kind, and the other man Jacob Kowalski was a no-maj that is sick because of Mr. Scamander.
I took a good look at both men and saw that Mr. Scamander had shaggy brownish hair, freckles danced across his face but he held a warm presence. Even though he was tall, he wasn’t intimidating. I took notice that he held onto a suitcase very tightly and kept looking around the apartment trying to figure a way to get out.
While Mr. Kowalski had a tuff of black hair, a mustache that went all over his upper lip, he wore a suit that was just barely able to hold onto him and he did appear a little sick as his face glistened with sweat and he tried to keep his stance. I also took notice that he kept staring at my sister Queenie, not like in the way most men have stared at her like they wanted to own her as property, he was in awe and it was almost like a puppy-dog kind of way he was looking at her.
“Hey (y/n), you’ve had such a long trip from the train station so why don’t you get settled in and then come back out for dinner, and no sweets don’t count as a meal” I stuck my tongue at Queenie for using her mind-reading abilities on me.  I picked up my suitcase and went into my room and saw that it was all cleaned up for me.
I set my stuff down and began unpacking for the week vacation that I had from school.  I got changed from my uniform minus my robes into more casual nightdress. Once I was done changing, I joined up with my sisters and our guests and we all sat down and ate the delicious meal my sisters had prepared.
After dinner, Queenie and Jacob seemed to get a long really well as they talked about their love for cooking and baking.  I smiled softly at them never once seeing my sister so happy before in her entire life talking to someone who also enjoyed the same thing’s she did. Like I had said before, most guys think of wanting to get her as a trophy wife and have her be the stay-at-home woman cooking and preparing coffee for them, or just use her as a chance to cheat on their own wives or girlfriends to show them that they could get someone better than them on the side when they don’t give them what the guys want.
Thankfully my sister always stands up for herself and tells them straight away that she’s not interested or goes right to the girlfriends or wives and tells them of what their spouses are doing. But seeing her now with Jacob, he’d be good husband material in my eyes for my sister, if it wasn’t for the laws of wizarding community here in America. 
That’s why when I get out of Ilvermory, I want to travel the world and I don’t know maybe settle down in England since their laws are looser when it comes to No-Magic people or No-majs as we call them here.
“Our little sister here is just about to be done with school. Top in all her classes and is looking at a full scholarship into getting into MACUSA’s International Research team. She’s always wanted to travel the world, haven’t you sweetie?” Queenie said to me.
“Yeah, it’s always been a dream of mine. Travel the world, see what other cultures are like”. I said to Jacob.
And Tina or as I sometimes like to call her Tina “Kill-joy” Goldstein struck again when I heard Queenie state solemnly that she wasn’t flirting.
“I’m just saying don’t go getting attached he’s gonna have to be obliviated. It’s nothing personal”. Tina stated solemnly.
“Oh hey, you okay honey?” Queenie asked Jacob as I began to take notice of his starting to get dizzy and his sweating began to grow worse.
“Ms. Goldstein I think Mr. Kowalski can do with an early night, besides you and I will need to be up early tomorrow morning to find my niffler so….” Mr. Scamander stated as he sat up from his chair. I tilted my head in confusion and Queenie and I said to Tina at the same time.
“What’s a niffler?”
“Don’t ask” she muttered. “Okay you guys can bunk in here” she said as she walked towards their room. 
Once settling down for the night, Queenie knocked at my door and I told her to come in and she came in with a cup of hot cocoa.
“Hey sweetie, thought you might like a drink before bed”.
“Thanks Queenie”. I said as she came up to me and I took the cup from her and blew on it before taking a small sip. 
“How is your year going so far?”
“It’s going well. Me and Danielle continue to do our competitions with each other in our Potions class, just last week she was going so fast in trying to outdo me that she caused her potion to explode right in her face, but I helped her clean up after class in the end cause I couldn’t let her take it alone”.
“You girls and your competitions, but you are a good friend to helping her clean up the classroom, so you excited to have finally brought your wand outside of school?”
“Yes never have I been happier then when they told me I could finally bring my wand home”. You see since the Magical community in America is so paranoid about being exposed by the no-majs, Ilvermory has issued a law that anyone under 17 cannot take their wands out of school. 
They have to remain inside their dorms at all times when it comes to home visits and only until the wizard or witch reaches 17 years old, then and only then can they bring their wands outside of class, but one slip-up of using magic outside of school grounds or using magic outside of my current residence, results in severe punishment even expulsion from the school.
But since I just turned 17 on All Hallow’s Eve, I was officially allowed to bring my wand home with me.
“Now you can help me cook some meals” she stated.
“Yep, I can’t wait”.
“But for now it’s time to go to sleep, no into bed little missy”. I placed my cocoa down on my nightstand by my bed and Queenie tucked me in and kissed me goodnight. “Night honey”.
“Night Queenie” I stated tiredly as I yawned. She then turned off my lights with her wand and closed the sliding doors behind her as she left for the guest room. 
Later that night I had this dream of seeing President Picquery’s right hand wizard Mr. Graves in his office.  Why I was dreaming about him I have no idea, I mean I only met the wizard once when I was first being interviewed for the scholarship that Ilvermory was giving me. I didn’t speak to him physically but I saw him around, plus my sister Tina talks about him constantly always getting on her back about something.
But what happened next was something I never expected to see in my dreams. His face appeared to change his onyx black hair with bleach white, his facial structure began to slightly change into a much older man and his eyes were the biggest changes of all. One was pure black while the other was pure white.  I had seen this wizard being posted around in the Ilvermory news. 
It was Gellert Grindelwald. 
I shot up in my bed panting frantically and I quickly got dressed and cried out for Tina and Queenie but no one responded. I then called out for Mr. Scamander or Jacob, again got no response.  That was until I saw a note on the kitchen table from my sisters.  I picked up the note and it read.
Newt and Jacob left the apartment, Teen went to find them and I was called into work. Things have gotten more dangerous now at MACUSA with all that’s been happening. Please just stay home, lock the door don’t answer it for anyone okay honey? I should be back by sunrise.
Love, Queenie. 
No, no, no, no they—they need to be warned. They need to know who Graves really is. I immediately got dressed and then apparated out of the apartment and flew myself all the way to MACUSA.
By the time I got there, it was completely empty with only a handful of people walking around.  As I walked through the hallways I then heard a voice call out my name. When I turned around I saw that it was my sister’s boss Mr. Abernathy.
“Oh hi Mr. Abernathy, so sorry to come in so early but I was wondering do you know where either of my sisters are at?”
“I’m not sure about Goldstein but Queenie she’s downstairs preparing coffee for the council meeting downstairs, is there a problem?”
“Yeah it’s—it’s a lady problem. And I would really like one of my sisters to come home and help me out”. At that statement he backed off and let me go my way and I thanked him. I walked on as if I had only one destination to get to then when no one was looking, I apparated towards Mr. Graves’ office.
Once I got there, I took out my wand and pointed it at his door and whispered.
“Alohamora” but it didn’t work.  I then ran through my head all the unlocking spells that I knew and tried “Aberto” again that didn’t work. “Oh come on (y/n) think!” I began running through my head again one last time I then came to a spell Danielle once taught me an unlock spell that is so obvious that most people wouldn’t remember it.  I then took a deep breath and pointed my wand at the lock and whispered “Sesamius Opus” at that I heard his door open. “Thank you Dani”. I then went inside Mr. Graves’ office.
I looked around for whatever spell or potion was used for Grindelwald’s disguise but couldn’t find anything.  I was so focused in trying to find whatever it was that helped Grindelwald with his disguise that I was completely unaware that the devil himself was right behind me.
When I turned around and saw “Mr. Graves” standing there, I quickly took out my wand but before I could even get one syllable out of my mouth, he used his wand to fire my wand out of my hand leaving me defenseless. He then fire a shot right at my stomach sending me towards the wall and soon I felt his hand around my throat.
“What are you doing in here child? This section is strictly forbidden”.
“I know….who you are”. At that statement he sighed deeply and said.
“Much like your sister, always turning up where you’re not needed. What gave me away?” I remained silent not wanting to tell him anything.  I felt his grip tighten around my throat cutting off my airway even more than before. “Answer me and I will let you walk with only your mind obliviated of this encounter”. I choked out but managed to somehow get enough spit into my mouth before spitting right in his face.He glared at me with soulless dark eyes and the next thing I knew I saw blackness. 
When I awoke I found myself in a pure white room chained up to a levitating chair.  I saw what looked like a sea of potion surrounding me.
“You are indeed the more interesting out of your sisters Ms. Goldstein.” I looked up to see Grindelwald himself standing before me. “Top of your classes in all years at Ilvermory, especially in the dark arts and potions. Your professors even praise you for your talents, you could be a great witch one day. Maybe even more. Now answer my one question, how did you see through my disguise?” Even though I was scared to death at seeing the infamous dark wizard before me, I refused to allow him to see me fear. So I kept quiet.
“Crucio” I then felt a surge of agonizing pain come through me as I held in my screams and panted heavily. “I grow tired of your silence my dear, tell me how you managed to see through my disguise and I’ll let you and your family go”.
“Drop….dead” I panted.
“Not what I was looking for, Crucio”. I felt the same pain go through my again. I kept hearing him whisper Crucio again and again and again never once refraining. He didn’t care that I was just a child, he was willing to watch me suffer and he didn’t even care if I would die or not.
I kept screaming in agony as I couldn’t take the pain any longer until I finally answered him.
“I HAVE FORESIGHT! I have foresight….I have foresight” I sobbed out.
It’s true. Like my sister Queenie who was a Legilimens, I was gifted foresight when I was around 8 years old. They don’t happen much and only through dreams do I get them. I haven’t really had one in years when I saw myself traveling the world with someone. Back then I was still learning to control my powers so I never did see who it was that I would one day travel with, but that’s what’s pushed me to getting the International research spot in MACUSA.
“Foresight, I never thought I’d see one so young. And if you were able to see past my spell, as I stated earlier Ms. Goldstein you must be very powerful for your age, and could be even more. Join me, imagine what kind of power you could obtain, what you could create. See a new world where Wizards rule and the muggles live under our reign”.
“Psychopath!” I panted out. His eyes narrowed then Grindelwald shifted back into Mr. Graves and he said in Graves’ voice.
“Very well then, Ms. (Y/n) Goldstein you are hereby guilt of trespassing and assaulting an Auror. You are thereby sentenced to death and your sisters will receive the same sentence”.
“No….no please th-they didn’t……”
“Shhh” he the pointed his wand at the chair and I was now being lowered towards the death potion. I let out weak sobs as I saw three people in white coats now come in to watch me be executed. I threw my head back silently praying for someone to help me and that’s when I heard the door slam open and what sounded like a fight came out.
My vision was blurry but I swore I thought I saw a flash of blue fighting off the three executioners.
“(Y/n)!” I opened my eyes trying to focus my vision and it was there I saw standing before me was Mr. Scamander.
“Mr. Scamander?” I stated out.
“Hang on I’ll get you out of there”. He then pointed his wand which unlocked me from my chains but before he could do another spell I tried to tell him.
“Mr. Scamander behind you!” He was then suddenly punched by the male executioner and the two of them began to try to over-power the other.  Newt then cleverly kicked the male’s shin inward and release some kind of bat-like greenish-blue creature and it flew around until it tackled the man down which forced his wand into the death potion making it sizzle like boiling water and raise it up higher towards me.
I whimpered and tried to stand up but I could only curl myself up into the chair.
“Mr. Scamander!” I cried out.
“Now, now don’t panic everything’s gonna be just fine. Now listen to me (y/n). I need you to jump towards me”.
“I—I can’t…..He used the Crucio spell on me”.
“Alright, alright”. He then made some sort of hissing sound at the creature and soon it began to change its flying pattern and circle under and then over me. “Jump”. I looked to him and then at the creature flying over me and I said.
“You’re insane”.
“Jump on him (y/n). Don’t worry I’ve got you”. As I saw myself now beginning to be encaged by the death potion, I tried to stand up but every muscle in my body refused to obey me, plus I was deathly scared. What if I didn’t make it? What if he didn’t grab me in time? What if I died today?
“I—I can’t…..I’m scared. I won’t make it, I can’t make it Newt I—”
“Hey, hey (y/n). Look at me, okay I need you to look at nothing but me right now, can you do that for me?” Tears filled my eyes as I looked up at him and he told me. “I’ll catch you. I swear to you (y/n), I swear on my life that I won’t let you die. I promise I’ll catch you. I’ve got you (y/n)”. Looking into his blue-green eyes filled me with some warmth and I knew that I could trust him, even after just meeting him today. 
I nodded telling him that I believed him. And no matter how much my muscles were screaming at me, I began to slowly stand up just enough so that I would be able to jump.
“That’s it, I’ve got you (y/n)….Go!” I then took my best leap and managed to land on the creature’s back before flying forwards and I fell into Newt’s arms.  He then held his hand out and the creature turned into a cocoon in his hand and he said to me, “Hold on”. He then adjusted me so that I was being carried bridal style in his arms as I cried out in pain but he calmed me down by shushing me softly before taking off running.
Newt ran down the hallway with me still in his arms. He had me so adjusted in his arms that as he was running I wasn’t being jostled around.  I then saw flashes of light heading straight for us as I knew the Aurors had been alerted of an escape and I heard the sound of the alarms going off.  Newt hid us behind a pillar and released the creature out and it flew around knocking the Aurors. As Newt came out running he then stopped and I heard him say.
“Leave his brains come on! Come on!” The creature then obeyed as it took off flying again. As more Aurors came for us, the creature protected us by simply tackling them down to the ground.  As Newt kept running I asked him.
“What was that thing?”
“Swooping Evil” he answered me.
“I gotta get me one of those”. I joked. Newt kept running on but soon stopped just as we were about to reach the exit and just when I was thinking we had been stopped by more Aurors or even worse Grindelwald himself, I was beyond relieved to see my sisters and Jacob standing before us.  Queenie held Newt’s case while Tina had all their wands plus my own.
“Oh (y/n) thank Merlin you’re alive!” Tina stated as she came up to me and took me from Newt’s arms and she and Queenie both hugged me but I groaned in pain.
“She said she was attacked by the Crucio curse” Newt explained to them.
“What?!” my sisters exclaimed worriedly as they both looked over me.  As Queenie turned her head she then gestured towards the suitcase as she still held it in her hands, “Get in” she stated firmly. One by one we all went into the case then Newt and Tina both helped me down into the suitcase.  Newt carried me down the steps before handing me to Tina who was at the bottom of the steps and as I was transferred to my sister, I saw that I was in some kind of shed.
“Place her over here” I heard Newt’s voice say. I was then gently placed as I cried out in pain on a soft makeshift mattress.  I felt Tina sit beside me stroking the hair away from my face.
“I thought we told you to stay home sweetie?”
“You—you needed to…..”
“Shhh don’t speak now” my eldest sister whispered. I then heard Newt’s voice say.
“Lift her head a bit, have her drink this. This should give her back some of her strength”. My head was then raised up and I felt something touch my lips and I felt a potion working its way down my throat softly.  I swallowed it whole and once I was done, I felt myself growing very tired before I blacked out in exhaustion.
*3rd Person POV*
Tina dabbed her youngest sister’s head with a damp cloth and Newt said to her.
“That should do it, now all she needs is some rest”.
“What exactly is that Crucio thing that did this to her?” asked Jacob.
“It’s one of the three unforgivable curses. The three most powerful and dangerous spells that any witch or wizard can do. One is an instant kill, the other can control a person’s actions against their will, but the one (y/n) was submitted to tortures the victim beyond any levels. Think of it as someone taking a hot iron rod and touching it to your skin from the inside”. Tina explained.  She turned back towards her sister and took a better look at her.
Her once vibrant skin was now ghostly pale, her eyes that were once filled with light were now sunken in and dark circles underneath her eyes. She couldn’t believe that someone in MACUSA knew the unforgivable curses and would do that to an innocent child.
“Here, for once she wakes up. This should give her some more strength and energy”. Jacob handed to Tina one of his grandmother’s desserts that he presented to the bank before all this mess started. Tina nodded in gratitude then she set the treat beside her sister then the two men left Tina alone with her sister.
*My POV*
When I woke up I found myself in a shed. I rubbed my eyes and when I opened them up I was staring face to umm….snout with some black, furry creature.  It had a pink snout, black fur, webbed feet with claws and a stout tail.  It sniffed at me before cuddling right back into me.
Normally someone would scream at seeing something just staring at them especially if they didn’t look like a normal animal, me on the other hand, I thought the creature was cute and it was friendly enough to cuddle with.  I giggled and pet it when I heard the door to the shed open and Mr. Scamander came in saying.
“For the last time you pilfering pest, stay in your burrow and don’t go—Oh (y/n), how are you feeling?”
“Better, much better actually. Wh—where am I? Last thing I remember was being in MACUSA”.
“You were hit with one of the forgivable curses, luckily for you I managed to brew a potion strong enough to give you back some of your strength. Now I would suggest still getting some rest, you were barely able to stand when I got you out”.
“Oh yeah you—you saved me. Thank you Mr. Scamander, I owe you my life”.
“Oh please call me Newt, and there’s no need to thank me”.
“Yes there is Newt, if it hadn’t been for you I’d…..well I doubt I’d even be here”.
“Well I couldn’t just let you die could I?” I smiled then I turned my attention back to the creature in my lap and I asked him.
“And who is this little guy?”
“Oh that is my niffler. Terrible bugger he is, anything shiny and he’s off like a shot. Grummy little thief, I thought him wanting to come in here was because I must’ve left something shiny in here, but I guess he wanted to come and see you. Dougal was also wanting to see you, he always has that parental sense in wanting to care for things”.
“Dougal?” I questioned.
“Do—do you think you can walk? Try and stand up for me?” I slowly found my footing and tried to lift myself up.  Wobbled the first few times but I managed to find my footing and proceeded to walk towards Newt.  He held his arm out for me to take just in case I felt like falling so I went ahead and took it. “Now before we head out I must warn you advance, it is a bit much for first timers”. He then opened the door to the shed and the second we stepped out, it was like I was in a whole new world.
Multiple habitats like those no-maj zoos that I’ve always visited whenever I came home from school but without the cages surrounded the entire area.  I was in awe and bewildered by the amount of space this suitcase had, it was truly bigger on the inside.
Dozens upon dozens of creatures were around roaming freely around their habitats but my attention was drawn to the magnificent Thunderbird to my left. I was in pure awe at seeing my Ilvermory house creature standing before me.
“Is—is that a—”
“Yes, he’s the reason I came to America. His name’s Frank, I found him in Egypt all chained up, I couldn’t leave him there so I rescued him, healed his wounds and brought him here to take him back to his home in the wilds of Arizona”. Soon a white furry creature with big golden eyes came up towards me and hopped onto my back and started stroking my hair.  “This is Dougal, he’s a Demiguise, fundamentally peaceful most of the time but can give a nasty nip or two if provoked”.
“Hello Dougal” I reached up and stroked through his soft fur and he let out a purr like sound as he leaned in against my hand then he adjusted himself more until he clung to my back.  Newt continued to show me around the case where I got to meet more of his creatures and he even introduced me to a creature I thought I had been seeing move around in his cloak at dinner earlier yesterday evening.
He told me that his name was Pickett the Bowtruckle and he has some attachment issues of not wanting to leave Newt’s side and join his branch (which is what a family of Bowtruckles is called).  But if I’m completely honest, out of all the creatures I’ve met, I seem drawn to the niffler the most. The little guy even gave me one of his gold coins and Newt was surprised at that, telling me that he’s never shared his gold with anyone before, not even Newt.
“(Y/n)!” I heard two voices cry out my name and soon I saw my sisters running up towards me and I embraced them both.
“How are you feeling honey?” asked Queenie.
“Better than what I was earlier”.
“Why didn’t you stay home like we asked you to?” questioned Tina.
“I—I had a vision about Mr. Graves, guys….he’s not who he says he is”.
“Wh-what do you mean sweetheart?” asked Jacob.
“I mean that Mr. Graves never even existed. Not until he came to MACUSA, and how is it that he’s managed to rise faster in the ranks of Auror command than any other Auror who had worked for President Madam Picquery? Guys…..Mr. Graves is actually Gellert Grindelwald”.  They all looked at me in shock except for Newt who might have had the same suspicions as I did.
“(Y/n) are you sure that he’s Grindelwald?”
“Teen, have my visions ever been wrong? Why would you doubt me now?”
“She’s right Tina, just from talking to him when we were being interrogated there was something about him that almost had a similar connection to Grindelwald’s belief. With all these attacks that have been happening that you’ve told me about, the obscurus. Grindelwald would seek a chance like that to expose us to the Muggle-world”. Newt backed me up.
Before we could continue on with our conversation, Frank suddenly went on the defense as thunder rumbled above us and he was flapping his wings almost anxiously.
“Danger, he senses danger”. Newt stated.
“(Y/n), you need to get home right now” stated Tina.
“What no I’m coming to help you guys!” I snapped at her.
“This isn’t a request. He already hurt you once, almost killed you I—I can’t let that happen again!” Tina choked.  I walked up to her and embraced her and I said to her.
“I learned from the best witch on how to fight. Now that I know exactly who I’m dealing with and won’t fight blindly, I’ll only step in when I need to”. She looked at me skeptically but I stared back at her with strong eyes determined to not back down from my decision.
“Just stay close to either me or Newt okay?” I nodded then we all began formulating a plan to stop Grindelwald. 
*Time skip to after the battle with Credence*
After Credence was destroyed by the Aurors and “Graves” tried to persuade the Aurors of their crime and how the supposed law to keep us save from the no-majs and asked them if it really protects us or them. At that moment Graves snapped and tried to kill Madam President Picquery but Newt used the Swooping evil to distract him and fired out some kinda of cocoon webbing to trap Graves where he stood as my sister used the Accio spell to bring Grave’s wand to her. As he turned to us with hatred in his eyes I said to President Picquery and the other Aurors.
“You all have been deceived. Mr. Graves was a fictional character created to hide his true form”. I then pointed my wand at him and made an R shape as I stated, “Revelio”. At that moment Graves began to breathe out harshly as his hair changed into the bleach blonde, the older face began to form as well as the mustache.  As I circled before him there kneeling before the Aurors was Gellert Grindelwald himself.
“Do you think you can hold me?” He asked President Picquery.
“We’ll do our best, Mr. Grindelwald” she stated lowly. It was then two Aurors came up and took him into custody and walked him out of the subway.  Newt came up to me and hid me from Grindelwald’s view as he stopped right in front of us.  The dark wizard turned towards us and he said to Newt.
“Will we die, just a little?” His eyes then turned towards me and he smirked wickedly down at me before being lead up the stairs. 
After he was taken into custody, in order to obliviate the entire city of New York, Newt suggested that by using the Swooping evil venom he could use Frank to create a thunderstorm and that should erase every no-majs memory of everything that happened tonight.  Seeing Newt say goodbye to Frank was heartbreaking and I knew it had to be even harder for Newt.
I mean he told me he had basically helped raise Frank back up on his feet the moment he rescued him.  To all of his creatures he saw them as his children and he vowed to protect every one of them, but now he had to let one of them go just like he was set off to do before all of this craziness started.
“(Y/n) come here please”. I heard Newt’s voice say to me.  I was surprised to see both him and Frank looking at me. I turned towards my sisters and they both nodded at me to go on so I cautiously walked up and held out my hand and Frank brought his beak to my hand and I stroked through his feathers. “Seems he’s come to like you”.
“I wish I had more time to get to know the creature that represents my house. But I know this is for the best, like you said this is why you came to America in the first place. And you must be willing to let them go”.
“Indeed” I heard him say.  After Frank was done nuzzling my chest he then let out a cry and turned towards Newt who said. “You know what you’ve got to do”. He then tossed a vile of the Swooping evil venom in the air and Frank caught it in his beak and took off flying high into the sky.  I stared in awe watching him go higher and higher into the sky.  Seeing him cause the sky to darken and thunder boom in the sky as well as lightning flash until finally a big boom was heard and rain began falling.
The Aurors then began to repair the damage of the battle while the no-majs went about their normal day as if nothing happened. Once everything was cleaned up, President Picquery ordered us that Jacob had to be obliviated because even one witness could cause trouble but she allowed us to say goodbye before she and the rest of the Aurors walked out of the subway.  
At the top of the subway exit, we said our goodbyes to Jacob even though it was hard, especially for Queenie.  She tried to convince that she would be willing to come with him and that she’d never find anyone like him.  Even though he tried to brush it off, she assured him that there was only one like him.  I then tried to stop him by whimpering out his name but he assured me.
“It’s okay kid, it’s okay. It’s just like waking up right?” Then without another moment’s hesitation, Jacob stepped out into the rain and allowed the potion to do its work.  Queenie then used her wand to form an umbrella above her as she walked towards Jacob, stroked his face and gave him a kiss.  I lowered my head sadly as tears fell down my face and I hugged Teen and she rubbed my back and stroked down my hair comfortingly.
Queenie then came back towards us and though we hate to, we apparated out of the subway and back to our apartment before Jacob could open his eyes. 
The next few days I received the letter I knew I had been dreading. Ilvermory had caught wind of my use of reckless magic in MACUSA headquarters and for that I was expelled from Ilvermory and my scholarship into the International research has been revoked.
I sighed heavily then I heard Newt’s voice say.
“Something troubling you?”
“Yeah, I’ve been expelled from Ilvermory and my scholarship opportunity into the MACUSA Research team has been revoked. Even if Madam President could convince them to reinstate my scholarship I doubt there’s any way I’ll get back and finish my last year of school. And I doubt MACUSA will hired a student with an expulsion record”.
“Actually….there is another way you could see the world” he stated.
“And what is that if I may ask?” I asked.
“For a while now I’ve been thinking about hiring an apprentice. Someone who could keep an eye on me from over-working myself and helping me with my creatures. I’m always traveling the world discovering new things for my book and I would like an editor by my side at all times instead of waiting for weeks on end to hear a response back”.
“Are you—you’re offering me an internship?”
“Now it won’t pay much, but you’ll get to do what you’ve wanted to do your whole life. See different cultures, meet new people, and you’ll be my first young witch I educate on why Magical creatures should be protected instead of being hunted to extinction”. I smiled at him and he said, “Plus I think the niffler would miss you. He kinda likes you”. I laughed softly and hugged Newt and said to him.
“Thank you Newt, for everything”. He was tense at first but then he relaxed and embraced me back and said.
“You’re welcome”.
After a long talk between Newt, Tina and Queenie about his offer of hiring me as his apprentice, they agreed that the best thing for me right now especially after my expulsion would be to go with Newt to get some experience out there in the world.
So a few days later after setting up my passport and packing all my things up, Tina and Queenie came with Newt and I to the docks that would take us to Madrid, Spain and then from there the world was my oyster.  After Tina and Newt said their goodbyes to each other, Queenie embraced me tightly and said as she rocked me.
“You have fun and listen to everything Newt tells you okay honey?”
“I will Queenie”.
“I’ll miss you baby sister”.
“Not as much as I’ll miss you big sister”. She kissed my cheek and hugged me one last time before I turned to Tina.  She smiled and hugged me and said.
“You be sure to write to us as much as you can”.
“I will I promise Tina”. She kissed my forehead and stroked the hair out of my face before turning to Newt and said to him.
“You make sure to look after her for us”.
“You have my word, no harm will come to her under my watch”. The boat then let out a blow of its horn. “Come on (y/n), we better board or else they’ll leave without us”.
“Coming Newt”. My sisters smiled down at my proudly with tears in their eyes and we all got into one last sisterly group hug and they both kissed each of my cheeks then I followed behind my teacher and the two of us walked onboard the ship and as we took off, I waved by to my sisters and they waved back to me until New York was out of our sights.  I sat myself beside my new mentor and he said, 
“Ready to begin your teachings?”
“Indeed Professor Scamander” I joked making the two of us laugh then he took out his journal and ran through the basics with me.
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wayhaughterthanyou · 6 years
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OF COURSE I’M BACK. WHO WOULD I BE IF NOT LIVING IN YOUR BLOG WAITING FOR A CHANCE TO SPAM YOUR ASKS? 1-100
You are very much welcome to spam my asks any time you’d like
1: when you have cereal, do you have more milk than cereal or more cereal than milk? Enough for my cereal to be moist but not enough for it to be swimming…also I hate milk and usually have coconut or a lactate free milk
2: do you like the feeling of cold air on your cheeks on a wintery day? Honestly my favorite shit
3: what random objects do you use to bookmark your books? I used to get in trouble for reading a lot as a kid so I often used a ton of obscure things but I think my favorites were a shoelace and another book
4: how do you take your coffee/tea? I depends on the kind of tea tbh but usually if it’s anything but black tea I’ll drink it plain. As for coffee I hate brewed coffee but I love espresso and I’ll drink that with anything but my favorite is probably an undertow
5: are you self-conscious of your smile? YES! I broke my two front teeth in middle school (long story) and I’ve just been bleh about it since
6: do you keep plants? I don’t but that sounds cute and now I’m sad that I don’t. Daddy needs a lil cactus or something
7: do you name your plants? I shall name my cactus Princess Rosalina Maria Fiore Montoya
8: what artistic medium do you use to express your feelings? Writing and film
9: do you like singing/humming to yourself? Baby the only way to spread christmas cheer is singing loudly for ALL to hear
10: do you sleep on your back, side, or stomach? I used to sleep curled in a ball on my side but I have a back injury rn and can only sleep on my back and its terrible and I hate it
11: what’s an inner joke you have with your friends? Lisa.
12: what’s your favorite planet? Earth. The ocean literally makes me want to cry thinking about it
13: what’s something that made you smile today? Waking up and seeing this ask
14: if you were to live with your best friend in an old flat in a big city, what would it look like? Like interior design? Oh wow, like a mix of modern and rustic? My brother and I are classy boys; we like to feel like we’re living in a spaceship and a cabin simultaneously
15: go google a weird space fact and tell us what it is! GOOGLE?? THAT WEBSITE FOR PLEBS WHO DONT KNOW SPACE FACTS?? The moon landing was faked.
16: what’s your favorite pasta dish? Pene al Vodka
17: what color do you really want to dye your hair? Right now I kinda just want to bleach it but I’m not sure if I should do it before pride or after.
18: tell us about something dumb/funny you did that has since gone down in history between you and your friends and is always brought up. Umm there is a picture of me…called Jaba the Hyuck..and um.. yeah
19: do you keep a journal? what do you write/draw/ in it? I don’t and I actually never have, however I have always written by hand so I used to always carry around a book.
20: what’s your favorite eye color? Trick question I have literally never seen an eyeball that I have not fallen in love with sooo
21: talk about your favorite bag, the one that’s been to hell and back with you and that you love to pieces. My messenger bag, which has had both sides of the straps resewn, has been peed on by a resentful cat, and lugged around 30 pounds of bullshit my senior year
22: are you a morning person? I have to be! I wake up at 4:30 on weekdays for my job
23: what’s your favorite thing to do on lazy days where you have 0 obligations? Play video games
24: is there someone out there you would trust with every single one of your secrets? Yes which is weird saying that out loud
25: what’s the weirdest place you’ve ever broken into? An abandoned preschool
26: what are the shoes you’ve had for forever and wear with every single outfit? Vans high tops
27: what’s your favorite bubblegum flavor? Okay so I hate actually chewing gum for a prolonged period of time anymore but I love the watermelon 5 gum
28: sunrise or sunset? Watching the sunset with someone and then staying up to watch the sunrise
29: what’s something really cute that one of your friends does and is totally endearing? @a-maelstrom​ thinks she’s tough but it just makes me want to pinch her cheeks ;)
30: think of it: have you ever been truly scared? I live with 2 demons I’m scared every day of my life
31: what is your opinion of socks? do you like wearing weird socks? do you sleep with socks? do you confine yourself to white sock hell? really, just talk about socks. I used to hate socks but after losing 100 lbs really fast and having absolutely no more blubber to keep you warm you learn that socks are nice and are just here to keep you cozy. But I’ll only wear black ankle socks
32: tell us a story of something that happened to you after 3AM when you were with friends. We we’re playing Mario Party on my friends wii and we decided we were going to play until disney started airing the old shows like Kim Possible and shit, but then the batteries died. BUT there was a 711 around the corner that we could all walk to BUT we lived in a really jacked up town. Long story short we saw 3 drug deals on the way and when we got back I won the game and my friend rage quit and turned the system off before I had a proper chance to bask in my glory
33: what’s your fave pastry? I love Italian cookies
34: tell us about the stuffed animal you kept as a kid. what is it called? what does it look like? do you still keep it? Okay I had two, they were both life sized black labs, one a puppy and the other an adult, and they were called Big Blacky and Little Blacky cause I’m creative as fuck I still have them in a bag in the attic somewhere
35: do you like stationary and pretty pens and so on? do you use them often? I only use on type of pen. Pilot Pen G.2 7.0mm
36: which band’s sound would fit your mood right now? 99% of the time I’ll have an album that takes over my entire soul (because I used a technique with writing long works that involves music) and right now thats One Fell Swoop by The Spill Canvas
37: do you like keeping your room messy or clean? I like it clean however my brother and I use it as a rec room right now so it’s like… a mess
38: tell us about your pet peeves! CHEWING. I don’t care if you resort to swallowing things whole around me I don’t want to hear you chew
39: what color do you wear the most? Black or blue
40: think of a piece of jewelry you own: what’s it’s story? does it have any meaning to you? I have a necklace that hasn’t left my neck since I was 15. It means everything
41: what’s the last book you remember really, really loving? To Kill a Mockingbird is my favorite book, but the most recent one I’ve read and loved is called The Ables by Jeremy Scott
42: do you have a favorite coffee shop? describe it! I don’t! I wish I had a cute one that I went to
43: who was the last person you gazed at the stars with? I don’t think anyone’s actually amused me enough to look at the stars with me so I’m gonna say my dog cause I used to find constellations at night and he’d join me in the backyard and lay with me
44: when was the last time you remember feeling completely serene and at peace with everything? I don’t lmao
45: do you trust your instincts a lot? I always do, which sometimes gets me into trouble but fuck it ya know
46: tell us the worst pun you can think of. What do you call a lobster with a boob job at a dirty bus stop? A busty crustacean at a crusty bus station
47: what food do you think should be banned from the universe? Spagettios
48: what was your biggest fear as a kid? is it the same today? Spiders. Hell yes motherfucker
49: do you like buying CDs and records? what was the last one you bought? I do only because my brothers car only plays CD’s I have no idea what the last one I bought was though
50: what’s an odd thing you collect? I collect currency from other countries, but only the ones that I find in the US. Like going to a country and bringing back the currency is cheating, I have to find it here
51: think of a person. what song do you associate with them? The first person that came to mind is my brother and the song is Fear of Flying by A Rocket to the Moon
52: what are your favorite memes of the year so far? Oh wow I don’t know man
53: have you ever watched the rocky horror picture show? heathers? beetlejuice? pulp fiction? what do you think of them? I have watched all of them. Beetlejuice and Pulp Fiction are amazing and I love them, but RHPS and Heathers (especially the musical) very much impacted my life and my art
54: who’s the last person you saw with a true look of sadness on their face? My dad when I told him he has white privilege
55: what’s the most dramatic thing you’ve ever done to prove a point? Oh god I’m such a dramatic bitch I’ll do anything to prove a point
56: what are some things you find endearing in people? Honesty, compassion and the ability to see past one’s own beliefs to at least try to understand someone else’s
57: go listen to bohemian rhapsody. how did it make you feel? did you dramatically reenact the lyrics? I don’t there’s been a time I’ve listened to that song without getting the chills and acting it out like a madman
58: who’s the wine mom and who’s the vodka aunt in your group of friends? why? My friend Adam is the wine aunt, my brother is the vodka aunt, and you can call me daddy
59: what’s your favorite myth? TSM Myth
60: do you like poetry? what are some of your faves? Very rarely
61: what’s the stupidest gift you’ve ever given? the stupidest one you’ve ever received?  A condom.. on both sides..cause we’re so funnny
62: do you drink juice in the morning? which kind? I don’t have a “regular schedule” where I “consume nutrients” but I love apple juice
63: are you fussy about your books and music? do you keep them meticulously organized or kinda leave them be? Yes they’re me babes
64: what color is the sky where you are right now? It’s a beautiful blue and the sky writers are practicing for the air show coming up this summer
65: is there anyone you haven’t seen in a long time who you’d love to hang out with? Yeah quite a few, but I might be seeing one at Pride
66: what would your ideal flower crown look like? Cute and classy
67: how do gloomy days where the sky is dark and the world is misty make you feel? Like the outside matches the inside
68: what’s winter like where you live? Sometimes we have blizzards and sometimes is 70 on christmas
69: what are your favorite board games? Monopoly and chess neither of which anyone will ever play with me
70: have you ever used a ouija board? Baby doll how do you think I got these demons
71: what’s your favorite kind of tea? The twitter kind
72: are you a person who needs to note everything down or else you’ll forget it? I’m the type of person who knows I’ll forget but doesn’t write it down anyway
73: what are some of your worst habits? I crack everything
74: describe a good friend of yours without using their name or gendered pronouns. A lil honey bee
75: tell us about your pets! I HAVE 6! A big ol mutt named Roscoe and he’s my boy and i taught him everything he knows (hes good at turning tricks) a whippet and jack-Russel mix named Sandy and shes a lil dummy, then a tux cat named Domino thats scared of everyone, a fat orange cat named Max who got lazy and took a nap on a scale one day (hes 17lbs), my baby boy Bandit, he has mainecoon in him and he has an extra thumb and is my world, and I have a turtle named Peewee who we call Pubes
76: is there anything you should be doing right now but aren’t? Editing
77: pink or yellow lemonade? PINK
78: are you in the minion hateclub or fanclub? I liked them in despicable me but it gets old seeing them everywhere
79: what’s one of the cutest things someone has ever done for you? My cat loves me and thats all i can ask for
80: what color are your bedroom walls? did you choose that color? if so, why? Beige, nope my landlord
81: describe one of your friend’s eyes using the most abstract imagery you can think of. ROUND ORBS, SQUARE HOUSE
82: are/were you good in school? I hated it because I was smarter than everyone so everyone hated me
83: what’s some of your favorite album art? The art from Nothing personal by All Time Low, the deluxe edtion, but more specifically the art printed directly on the CD
84: are you planning on getting tattoos? which ones? I have so many planned but I’m getting a farnsworth from Warehouse 13 that says “endless wonder”
85: do you read comics? what are your faves? I read the Rick and Morty ones and I was big on batman in
86: do you like concept albums? which ones? They’re absoutely everything to me. Sgt. Peppers, Pet Sounds, Pretty Odd, One Fell Swoop, Broken Bride..ugh my shit
87: what are some movies you think everyone should watch at least once in their lives? Jaws, Wizard of Oz, a lot more that I can’t think of
88: are there any artistic movements you particularly enjoy? I don’t like moving thanks
89: are you close to your parents? Nope
90: talk about your one of you favorite cities. Seattle!
91: where do you plan on traveling this year? Hopefully moving away
92: are you a person who drowns their pasta in cheese or a person who barely sprinkles a pinch? I’m gross and I have barely any
93: what’s the hairstyle you wear the most? HAt
94: who was the last person you know to have a birthday? My friend pat
95: what are your plans for this weekend? I’m about to eat a taco and smoke pot and I’ve got nothing after that
96: do you install your computer updates really quickly or do you procrastinate on them a lot? The time when my computer crashed after 80 questions was because it auto started an update because it wouldn’t allow me to put it off anymore
97: myer briggs type, zodiac sign, and hogwarts house? INFP, Libra, and Ravenclaw
98: when’s the last time you went hiking? did you enjoy it? A couple of months ago when my town threw a concert in the part for Zebra, it was fun cause we smoked in the woods
99: list some songs that resonate to your soul whenever you hear them. Oh, Calamity- All Time Low, Bottom of the Deep Blue Sea- Missio, This is for Keeps- The Spill Canvas
100: if you were presented with two buttons, one that allows you to go 5 years into the past, the other 5 years into the future, which one would you press? why? Future. fuck old me that bitch is dumb i don’t wanna see him
THANK YOU FOR RETURNING TO MEEEEE! My ask is always open and I’m always SO VERY LONELY!
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lady-nevermore · 7 years
Text
This has been a long time coming...
May 15, 2017
To be honest, I dunno where to even begin…there’s a lot of personal crap to sift and go through…..
Welp, Let me start by saying that I’ve known I had issues with depression and anxiety for a long long while now, it all started early in my childhood years (around when I was 5-6 years old after being traumatized, emotionally and sometimes physically abused my Poor excuse of an Aunt), but that’s a rather lengthy story, among many others, that I will save for another time. But yeah, I didn’t really start noticing something was off until around I was a young teen (i just didn’t really know that what I was feeling was anxiety and depression at the time, I just thought that it was normal that I was always feeling tired and that I tended to over-worry quite a lot about stuff).
I even had a nervous/mental breakdown in 2011, when I was 19 at the time; My Mentor/friend had passed away, it was my first experience dealing with grief/loss/death, and I was taking around 5-6 overwhelming community college classes/courses (everyone thought I was effing mental for taking that many college courses right off that bat, regardless if it was only my second year of community college….But yeah, I just couldn’t take it anymore, after hearing the news of his passing, I was already struggling with said classes and ended up failing most of my classes in the end, and thus - I broke down, and dropped out of community college…..It felt like I lost everything (my mentor/friend, my friends and I were drifting apart, my aspirations/dreams of both my myself and that my parents/mentors had for me....just gone).
 ......it really felt like I fell from grace to be honest……afterwards I felt apathy hold a tight grip on my heart, which in turn made me turn my back and basically cut everyone off from my life (my real life, high-school friends), and caused me to isolate myself (hence my agoraphobia) and fall into a very deep depression….The only thing that kept me going (and is still keeping me going, is: Tumblr, the few awesome/heartwarming people that I chat with here on Tumblr *cough you know who you are cough*, my Nerdy Fandoms, and my pride and joy of being open-minded and an overall nerd).
…Hell, I even had several anxiety episodes/panic attacks (dunno how to tell them apart tbh) or what I, at the very least, think are anxiety/panic attacks at least, after I was first selected as a Juror for my first Three-Month Trial of Jury Duty….And that was just a couple of years ago....How the hell I survived that is beyond me, really. >_>;
And Mind you, I’m currently: 25 turning on 26 right now, still live my my folks, never even had a part-time job in my life, tried to learn how to drive but my anxiety/driving anxiety made me chicken out (but am still willing to try and learn how to drive/get my license regardless), feel like an absolute failure and useless poor excuse of a daughter, and overall useless human being, but deep deep down I know, that I’ve let several people down, my friends, my parents, my mentors. ….Yeah - Trust me, No one hates me more than me…..
But that’s why it wasn’t until recently that I had started to seriously contemplate/toying with the idea of plucking up the courage to tell my parents that I should probably go see a therapist. And so began my first step.
So yeah, I met with my Therapist for the first time today, She was nice I guess (and I’m surprised at how calm I was throughout the whole situation…..to be honest I was a little unnerved with how surprisingly calm I was……I thought for sure that my anxiety/social anxiety was gonna at the very least make me feel disoriented and make me feel the beating of my heartbeat pulsing in my ears). It wasn’t until I got back home from our first session/evaluation that I realized that I didn’t really look her in the eye, and kept looking at the ground a lot, and I also noted that the moment I returned home, that I had a growing small tension-headache coming along and that the back of my neck and the middle of my shoulder-blades where feeling very tense.
First piece of Homework: She’s advised me on using a breathing exercise technique by Taking Three Deep Breaths every day (aka via inhaling slowly through my nose and exhaling slowly through my mouth); she say’s that it’ll help to control my anxiety in the future and that it’s important to start making this a daily ritual/a habit so to speak…..I’ve occasionally used deep breaths before to calm myself down now and again whenever I’ve been stressed in the past, so I’m not that unfamiliar with the concept, making it a consistent ritualistic part of my life on the other hand shall be interesting.
Unbeknownst to my Therapist (though I’ll probably end up telling her down the line), I’ve decided to create this “Therapy Blog” of sorts to help me keep track of and figure out this tangled web of emotions and learn how to decipher all the the messed up crap I’ve experienced/and has traumatised and affected me in the past.
Yup, this has definitely been a long time coming, I’m sorta relieved that I’ve taken this first step…..I know it’s gonna be a highly uncomfortable experience, but my parents (and now my therapist) keep telling me that it’ll be worth it and that they’re glad I’ve taken this first step…..I hope they’re right, We shall see.
Welp, I’m Gonna go reblog a couple of Bleach anime posts before bed, that is if my insomnia doesn’t get in the way again (I’ve almost caught up on the anime, just finished the Final Aizen/Arrancar Arc - Did I mention how much I effling love Soifon, like sooo damn much, I ship her with Yoruichi for damn sure).
….But anyways, thanks for listening, especially if you’ve read up to this far. ^^;
- Lady Nevermore
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