#back on my evil engineer bullshit

[mostlysignssomeportents]

The moral injury of having your work enshittified

This Monday (November 27), I'm appearing at the Toronto Metro Reference Library with Facebook whistleblower Frances Haugen.

On November 29, I'm at NYC's Strand Books with my novel The Lost Cause, a solarpunk tale of hope and danger that Rebecca Solnit called "completely delightful."

This week, I wrote about how the Great Enshittening – in which all the digital services we rely on become unusable, extractive piles of shit – did not result from the decay of the morals of tech company leadership, but rather, from the collapse of the forces that discipline corporate wrongdoing:

https://locusmag.com/2023/11/commentary-by-cory-doctorow-dont-be-evil/

The failure to enforce competition law allowed a few companies to buy out their rivals, or sell goods below cost until their rivals collapsed, or bribe key parts of their supply chain not to allow rivals to participate:

https://www.engadget.com/google-reportedly-pays-apple-36-percent-of-ad-search-revenues-from-safari-191730783.html

The resulting concentration of the tech sector meant that the surviving firms were stupendously wealthy, and cozy enough that they could agree on a common legislative agenda. That regulatory capture has allowed tech companies to violate labor, privacy and consumer protection laws by arguing that the law doesn't apply when you use an app to violate it:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/04/12/algorithmic-wage-discrimination/#fishers-of-men

But the regulatory capture isn't just about preventing regulation: it's also about creating regulation – laws that make it illegal to reverse-engineer, scrape, and otherwise mod, hack or reconfigure existing services to claw back value that has been taken away from users and business customers. This gives rise to Jay Freeman's perfectly named doctrine of "felony contempt of business-model," in which it is illegal to use your own property in ways that anger the shareholders of the company that sold it to you:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/11/09/lead-me-not-into-temptation/#chamberlain

Undisciplined by the threat of competition, regulation, or unilateral modification by users, companies are free to enshittify their products. But what does that actually look like? I say that enshittification is always precipitated by a lost argument.

It starts when someone around a board-room table proposes doing something that's bad for users but good for the company. If the company faces the discipline of competition, regulation or self-help measures, then the workers who are disgusted by this course of action can say, "I think doing this would be gross, and what's more, it's going to make the company poorer," and so they win the argument.

But when you take away that discipline, the argument gets reduced to, "Don't do this because it would make me ashamed to work here, even though it will make the company richer." Money talks, bullshit walks. Let the enshittification begin!

https://pluralistic.net/2023/11/22/who-wins-the-argument/#corporations-are-people-my-friend

But why do workers care at all? That's where phrases like "don't be evil" come into the picture. Until very recently, tech workers participated in one of history's tightest labor markets, in which multiple companies with gigantic war-chests bid on their labor. Even low-level employees routinely fielded calls from recruiters who dangled offers of higher salaries and larger stock grants if they would jump ship for a company's rival.

Employers built "campuses" filled with lavish perks: massages, sports facilities, daycare, gourmet cafeterias. They offered workers generous benefit packages, including exotic health benefits like having your eggs frozen so you could delay fertility while offsetting the risks normally associated with conceiving at a later age.

But all of this was a transparent ruse: the business-case for free meals, gyms, dry-cleaning, catering and massages was to keep workers at their laptops for 10, 12, or even 16 hours per day. That egg-freezing perk wasn't about helping workers plan their families: it was about thumbing the scales in favor of working through your entire twenties and thirties without taking any parental leave.

In other words, tech employers valued their employees as a means to an end: they wanted to get the best geeks on the payroll and then work them like government mules. The perks and pay weren't the result of comradeship between management and labor: they were the result of the discipline of competition for labor.

This wasn't really a secret, of course. Big Tech workers are split into two camps: blue badges (salaried employees) and green badges (contractors). Whenever there is a slack labor market for a specific job or skill, it is converted from a blue badge job to a green badge job. Green badges don't get the food or the massages or the kombucha. They don't get stock or daycare. They don't get to freeze their eggs. They also work long hours, but they are incentivized by the fear of poverty.

Tech giants went to great lengths to shield blue badges from green badges – at some Google campuses, these workforces actually used different entrances and worked in different facilities or on different floors. Sometimes, green badge working hours would be staggered so that the armies of ragged clickworkers would not be lined up to badge in when their social betters swanned off the luxury bus and into their airy adult kindergartens.

But Big Tech worked hard to convince those blue badges that they were truly valued. Companies hosted regular town halls where employees could ask impertinent questions of their CEOs. They maintained freewheeling internal social media sites where techies could rail against corporate foolishness and make Dilbert references.

And they came up with mottoes.

Apple told its employees it was a sound environmental steward that cared about privacy. Apple also deliberately turned old devices into e-waste by shredding them to ensure that they wouldn't be repaired and compete with new devices:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/09/22/vin-locking/#thought-differently

And even as they were blocking Facebook's surveillance tools, they quietly built their own nonconsensual mass surveillance program and lied to customers about it:

https://pluralistic.net/2022/11/14/luxury-surveillance/#liar-liar

Facebook told employees they were on a "mission to connect every person in the world," but instead deliberately sowed discontent among its users and trapped them in silos that meant that anyone who left Facebook lost all their friends:

https://www.eff.org/deeplinks/2021/08/facebooks-secret-war-switching-costs

And Google promised its employees that they would not "be evil" if they worked at Google. For many googlers, that mattered. They wanted to do something good with their lives, and they had a choice about who they would work for. What's more, they did make things that were good. At their high points, Google Maps, Google Mail, and of course, Google Search were incredible.

My own life was totally transformed by Maps: I have very poor spatial sense, need to actually stop and think to tell my right from my left, and I spent more of my life at least a little lost and often very lost. Google Maps is the cognitive prosthesis I needed to become someone who can go anywhere. I'm profoundly grateful to the people who built that service.

There's a name for phenomenon in which you care so much about your job that you endure poor conditions and abuse: it's called "vocational awe," as coined by Fobazi Ettarh:

https://www.inthelibrarywiththeleadpipe.org/2018/vocational-awe/

Ettarh uses the term to apply to traditionally low-waged workers like librarians, teachers and nurses. In our book Chokepoint Capitalism, Rebecca Giblin and I talked about how it applies to artists and other creative workers, too:

https://chokepointcapitalism.com/

But vocational awe is also omnipresent in tech. The grandiose claims to be on a mission to make the world a better place are not just puffery – they're a vital means of motivating workers who can easily quit their jobs and find a new one to put in 16-hour days. The massages and kombucha and egg-freezing are not framed as perks, but as logistical supports, provided so that techies on an important mission can pursue a shared social goal without being distracted by their balky, inconvenient meatsuits.

Steve Jobs was a master of instilling vocational awe. He was full of aphorisms like "we're here to make a dent in the universe, otherwise why even be here?" Or his infamous line to John Sculley, whom he lured away from Pepsi: "Do you want to sell sugar water for the rest of your life or come with me and change the world?"

Vocational awe cuts both ways. If your workforce actually believes in all that high-minded stuff, if they actually sacrifice their health, family lives and self-care to further the mission, they will defend it. That brings me back to enshittification, and the argument: "If we do this bad thing to the product I work on, it will make me hate myself."

The decline in market discipline for large tech companies has been accompanied by a decline in labor discipline, as the market for technical work grew less and less competitive. Since the dotcom collapse, the ability of tech giants to starve new entrants of market oxygen has shrunk techies' dreams.

Tech workers once dreamed of working for a big, unwieldy firm for a few years before setting out on their own to topple it with a startup. Then, the dream shrank: work for that big, clumsy firm for a few years, then do a fake startup that makes a fake product that is acquihired by your old employer, as an incredibly inefficient and roundabout way to get a raise and a bonus.

Then the dream shrank again: work for a big, ugly firm for life, but get those perks, the massages and the kombucha and the stock options and the gourmet cafeteria and the egg-freezing. Then it shrank again: work for Google for a while, but then get laid off along with 12,000 co-workers, just months after the company does a stock buyback that would cover all those salaries for the next 27 years:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/09/10/the-proletarianization-of-tech-workers/

Tech workers' power was fundamentally individual. In a tight labor market, tech workers could personally stand up to their bosses. They got "workplace democracy" by mouthing off at town hall meetings. They didn't have a union, and they thought they didn't need one. Of course, they did need one, because there were limits to individual power, even for the most in-demand workers, especially when it came to ghastly, long-running sexual abuse from high-ranking executives:

https://www.nytimes.com/2018/10/25/technology/google-sexual-harassment-andy-rubin.html

Today, atomized tech workers who are ordered to enshittify the products they take pride in are losing the argument. Workers who put in long hours, missed funerals and school plays and little league games and anniversaries and family vacations are being ordered to flush that sacrifice down the toilet to grind out a few basis points towards a KPI.

It's a form of moral injury, and it's palpable in the first-person accounts of former workers who've exited these large firms or the entire field. The viral "Reflecting on 18 years at Google," written by Ian Hixie, vibrates with it:

https://ln.hixie.ch/?start=1700627373

Hixie describes the sense of mission he brought to his job, the workplace democracy he experienced as employees' views were both solicited and heeded. He describes the positive contributions he was able to make to a commons of technical standards that rippled out beyond Google – and then, he says, "Google's culture eroded":

Decisions went from being made for the benefit of users, to the benefit of Google, to the benefit of whoever was making the decision.

In other words, techies started losing the argument. Layoffs weakened worker power – not just to defend their own interest, but to defend the users interests. Worker power is always about more than workers – think of how the 2019 LA teachers' strike won greenspace for every school, a ban on immigration sweeps of students' parents at the school gates and other community benefits:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/04/23/a-collective-bargain/

Hixie attributes the changes to a change in leadership, but I respectfully disagree. Hixie points to the original shareholder letter from the Google founders, in which they informed investors contemplating their IPO that they were retaining a controlling interest in the company's governance so that they could ignore their shareholders' priorities in favor of a vision of Google as a positive force in the world:

https://abc.xyz/investor/founders-letters/ipo-letter/

Hixie says that the leadership that succeeded the founders lost sight of this vision – but the whole point of that letter is that the founders never fully ceded control to subsequent executive teams. Yes, those executive teams were accountable to the shareholders, but the largest block of voting shares were retained by the founders.

I don't think the enshittification of Google was due to a change in leadership – I think it was due to a change in discipline, the discipline imposed by competition, regulation and the threat of self-help measures. Take ads: when Google had to contend with one-click adblocker installation, it had to constantly balance the risk of making users so fed up that they googled "how do I block ads?" and then never saw another ad ever again.

But once Google seized the majority of the mobile market, it was able to funnel users into apps, and reverse-engineering an app is a felony (felony contempt of business-model) under Section 1201 of the Digital Millennium Copyright Act. An app is just a web-page wrapped in enough IP to make it a crime to install an ad-blocker.

And as Google acquired control over the browser market, it was likewise able to reduce the self-help measures available to browser users who found ads sufficiently obnoxious to trigger googling "how do I block ads?" The apotheosis of this is the yearslong campaign to block adblockers in Chrome, which the company has sworn it will finally do this coming June:

https://www.tumblr.com/tevruden/734352367416410112/you-have-until-june-to-dump-chrome

My contention here is not that Google's enshittification was precipitated by a change in personnel via the promotion of managers who have shitty ideas. Google's enshittification was precipitated by a change in discipline, as the negative consequences of heeding those shitty ideas were abolished thanks to monopoly.

This is bad news for people like me, who rely on services like Google Maps as cognitive prostheses. Elizabeth Laraki, one of the original Google Maps designers, has published a scorching critique of the latest GMaps design:

https://twitter.com/elizlaraki/status/1727351922254852182

Laraki calls out numerous enshittificatory design-choices that have left Maps screens covered in "crud" – multiple revenue-maximizing elements that come at the expense of usability, shifting value from users to Google.

What Laraki doesn't say is that these UI elements are auctioned off to merchants, which means that the business that gives Google the most money gets the greatest prominence in Maps, even if it's not the best merchant. That's a recurring motif in enshittified tech platforms, most notoriously Amazon, which makes $31b/year auctioning off top search placement to companies whose products aren't relevant enough to your query to command that position on their own:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/04/25/greedflation/#commissar-bezos

Enshittification begets enshittification. To succeed on Amazon, you must divert funds from product quality to auction placement, which means that the top results are the worst products:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/11/06/attention-rents/#consumer-welfare-queens

The exception is searches for Apple products: Apple and Amazon have a cozy arrangement that means that searches for Apple products are a timewarp back to the pre-enshittification Amazon, when the company worried enough about losing your business to heed the employees who objected to sacrificing search quality as part of a merchant extortion racket:

https://www.businessinsider.com/amazon-gives-apple-special-treatment-while-others-suffer-junk-ads-2023-11

Not every tech worker is a tech bro, in other words. Many workers care deeply about making your life better. But the microeconomics of the boardroom in a monopolized tech sector rewards the worst people and continuously promotes them. Forget the Peter Principle: tech is ruled by the Sam Principle.

As OpenAI went through four CEOs in a single week, lots of commentators remarked on Sam Altman's rise and fall and rise, but I only found one commentator who really had Altman's number. Writing in Today in Tabs, Rusty Foster nailed Altman to the wall:

https://www.todayintabs.com/p/defective-accelerationism

Altman's history goes like this: first, he founded a useless startup that raised $30m, only to be acquired and shuttered. Then Altman got a job running Y Combinator, where he somehow failed at taking huge tranches of equity from "every Stanford dropout with an idea for software to replace something Mommy used to do." After that, he founded OpenAI, a company that he claims to believe presents an existential risk to the entire human risk – which he structured so incompetently that he was then forced out of it.

His reward for this string of farcical, mounting failures? He was put back in charge of the company he mis-structured despite his claimed belief that it will destroy the human race if not properly managed.

Altman's been around for a long time. He founded his startup in 2005. There've always been Sams – of both the Bankman-Fried varietal and the Altman genus – in tech. But they didn't get to run amok. They were disciplined by their competitors, regulators, users and workers. The collapse of competition led to an across-the-board collapse in all of those forms of discipline, revealing the executives for the mediocre sociopaths they always were, and exposing tech workers' vocational awe for the shabby trick it was from the start.

If you'd like an essay-formatted version of this post to read or share, here's a link to it on pluralistic.net, my surveillance-free, ad-free, tracker-free blog:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/11/25/moral-injury/#enshittification

#pluralistic #moral injury #enshittification #worker power #google #dont be evil #monopoly #sam altman #openai #vocational awe #making a dent in the universe

[vicmillen]

Nooooo... I want my wip done dammit. But anyway my mind got hijacked by a sci-fi au, so. Here we go again I guess, have some sci-fi settings for the LU boys🫠🫠

Feel free to use any or all of this setting for yourself, if anyone is interested. Credits appreciated tho not needed.

General background

The Links came from different time period due to the unavoidable time delay and time wrap in intergalactic travel (think Ender's Game and how all the ships arrived at the same time despite spanning decades in departure). Up to recent times where instant wrap becomes a thing, at least.

The Links, and maybe the Zeldas too, may or may not have came from a common clone source (think Dances On The Snow style cloning, gee I love that novel)

There's a war involving a certain holder of the force of power, at some point.

I actually have no idea what the Links gathered for, something something evil shadows, I guess?

Is time travel a thing? I don't know. Depends on if they fucked with the spacetime continuum hard enough (they have). Though I refuse to melt my brain again for any inevitable paradox situations so for now let's pretend they haven't.

The Links

Sky was a well decorated pilot for the Hylian air force, back when air force is still it's own division. He is the furthest back in terms of time period, being one of the test pilot on board project Skyloft, the very first large scale long distance warp jump in Hylian history. Very skilled pilot, despite the outdated training. Fi is helping a lot with his retraining. His jet is simply named Crimson.

Four is a engineer from the Picori system. At one point got himself into a freak accident involving a cloning station and a lunatic scientist. Extremely quick learner and good at solve technical problems (it's like working fourth times the normal speed, you know:)

Time is humble ranch hand, or so he claims. He's not entirely wrong, but before he become said ranch hand, he has a complicated history with the Hylian council and the intelligence community. Specialized in mech suits, heavy hitter.

Twilight is the actual rancher, being Time's adopted son. However he got himself involved in a series of abduction and trafficking cases, and somehow ended up in some human experiment. Straight up not having a good time tbh. Though he broke himself out and took down the rig before Time got invited to the carnage, which is good because there's at least something left of the offenders. Good at mech suits and piloting jets, but specialized in hand to hand. Hand to claw? Hand to fang?

Warriors was an army captain on board of Artemis' flagship. Though he specialized more on the strategic planning than the daily management, hence why Wind is the unofficial captain of the ship now. Comes across as snobby at first because damn non of this gang have any training or discipline? Mech fighter, heavy hitter. Good with jet piloting too, just don't comes with his own jet. Copilot with Sky if needed.

Wind ran with Tetra's crew before whatever leads to him joining the chain, so a privateer. Though he prefers pirate, just sounds that much cooler. He comes with his own jet, the Red Lion. Talented pilot, very good at scouting. Surprisingly the most experienced in managing the staff on board since it's similar scale as Tetra's.

Legend is, well he'll say he's a merchant. Hauling and selling perfectly legal merchandise. The Federals disagree, but they're mistaken. His private jet, Sir Raven, is not technically armed, but the 'merchandise' on board is varied and certainly useful in hostile situations. Very skilled at navigating and bullshitting the feds and fighting with his custom weaponry. Kind of a weapons expert too.

Hyrule may or may not have been one of the perfectly legal merchandise that required Legend's shipping service at some point. And may or may not have led to Legend gaining yet another wanted poster somewhere, somehow. Works miracles with the med unit, and like Legend is great with the unusual weapons that they rig up.

Wild is a cyborg, multi talented but especially appreciated for working miracles with the food assembly thingie. Despite being the only one on board that don't need edible material to survive. Technically the owner of the ship, and technically is part of the ship too. Take care of the daily management with Wind.

The ships

The ship they're currently aboard is the Master Ship Zero very original I know, Fi is the ship's Ai. Though the three jets in the hull each have their own system. The master ship is not really meant for a crew of only 9, but between the Fours and some creative problem solving, they managed pretty well. (Or maybe the Links didn't came alone, so there are more crew, like Malon Ravio and idk, somebody else.)

Wind's Red Lion is the smallest and lightest jet. Single pilot, speedy and stealthy, but very little fire power.

Sky's Crimson is a antique very traditional fighter jet, though it's is under heavy modification to suit the need of the current situation. For a fighter is on the small side, but comes with heavy fire power.

Legend's Sir Raven is a modified commercial jet, packs a surprising punch. But overall focused on camouflage shielding and speed. The largest jet among the three, actually. At least the largest hull. Can fit the whole chain inside if need must, but cannot provide sustainable life support for more than three people.

#yet another au #linked universe #lu sky #lu four #lu time #lu twilight #lu warriors #lu wind #lu legend #lu hyrule #lu wild #lu chain #lu au #lu

[mean-scarlet-deceiver]

re: Why the Coppernob/Cornwall war

thanks to @houseboatisland for helping me punch up the insult a bit ;) been carryin' my ass all day, actually —

To a large extent they just have just been instilled with different value systems. So they're constantly judging each other.

Could they have left all this behind when they both separately embarked on their preservation years? I mean I guess but that’d be boring for them both. Let ‘em hang on to what little they have left from those days. Also, there was An Incident that cemented Coppernob’s enmity, justifying it retroactively… and for the next couple hundred years… 

Scene: 1898. F.R. 3 and 4 are making their final preparations, preparing to be dismantled for the last time in the coming winter. 4 has the bright idea to write to Cornwall. Apologize for their part in the old quarrel. Wish him and his well in the years ahead.

It should be noted 3 was against this idea from the start. But 4 was feelin’ chipper with a warm sense of good-fellowship peace-on-earth-goodwill-to-man, so he went right on ahead with the project.

3: He'll never reply.

4: He doesn't have to reply. The letter says so.

3:  Well... don't put my name on it!

4 and 4's driver: *ignore him. 3's name is signed to this bullshit too.*

To everyone's surprise, they do get a reply. Aaaand it's basically 'lol get scrapped losers. couldn’t even remember who you were till cousin columbine reminded me of the two grubby little humpback radishes i used to leave in my dust. anyway lmao imma live forever bitch. hope hell's hot enough for ya… probably gonna be a big step up from barrow tbh.' Bonus: insults their long-dead sisters.

4: .... bit harsh, that

3: I told you! I told you!!

Of course in the end 3 is also preserved and now he can carry the memory of the time Cornwall basically spat in the face of all three of his dead siblings until the end of time.

***

But. 

I'm gonna be honest, I suspect Cornwall doesn't know the letter was sent. Like his attitude was "oh fuck them" and then he and his closest mates had a roaring session where they all tried to out-do each other on what Cornwall should write back but he has no idea some officious Company-proud shed employee dutifully wrote down all the roasts and sent the result back off to Barrow. Cornwall fully disliked the Copper-Nobs, and he is a jerk, but, like. He's not evil. If the engineman-turned-scribe had had the sense to confirm the letter he wrote up on his behalf Cornwall would undoubtedly have been like 'oh lmao no just rip it up.'

Which makes it all the funnier to me, ngl. Coppernob hates Cornwall intensely because he knows what a foul rat he secretly is. Cornwall thinks Coppernob is carrying a new degree of grudge because he didn't write back with kum-bye-ya we're-all-pals-now and scoffs at it. Other engines have picked up on the dark hints they've both thrown out about this incident and have had difficulty assembling them into a coherent narrative, for obvious reasons. It's a mess. If tomorrow they realized they were at cross purposes and Coppernob quoted that letter-he-totally-hasn’t-memorized Cornwall would be like 'WHAAAAT i never wrote that' and Coppernob would fuckin' die of humiliation when he learned Cornwall thought he'd been in a strop for a hundred twenty five years only because Cornwall left his apology on read and now his widdle fweelings were hurt. 'I'd never have given a fuck if there'd been no reply!! I never even wanted Four to send that stupid letter!!!!' 'real shit? haha that actually does make more sense lol your brother was such a loser — '

Aaaaaand I guess that'd be the beginning of the third phase of the endless grudge.

So maybe it’s inevitable. They gotta despise each other. It’s fate. 

#coppernob things #cornwall things #real true railway headcanon #chatter #'humpback radish' was allllll houseboat <3

[vintagegeekculture]

Yes, Scientology is an evil cult that ruins people’s lives, yes, he spent a lifetime as a con-man and pathological liar, but I feel this should be said: L. Ron Hubbard was not just a good writer, but a great writer, even in the context of the Golden Age, which had no shortage of them, and he was a popular one as well, regularly topping reader polls in Unknown and Astounding.

His contemporaries, like Asimov and L. Sprague de Camp, were in awe of him (at least until things started to get weird with Dianetics). He was the first major writer of scifi to prioritize characterization over a science fiction idea, to write stories that dealt with neurosis and everyman protagonists over adventure stories where an engineer solves a problem, and because of that, his 1930s-40s work has aged so much better than nearly everyone else from that time. 

His best work, in my opinion, was not his scifi but his fantasy/horror, published mainly in John W. Campbell’s Unknown, a magazine he created for horror and fantasy (the two were, really, one genre until the 1960s, like twins conjoined at birth, there was scifi and then there was everything else, witch’s brews and dragons). They include Slaves of Sleep, which starts with a millionaire in modern times who was cursed by an Ifrit inside an artifact he finds, so that every time he goes to sleep, he wakes up in an Arabian Nights realm ruled by an evil genie queen, and whenever he wakes up, he vanishes from that world back into ours, and it’s unclear which is the dream and which is reality. This was a major theme of Heinlein’s work, the blurring between reality and fantasy in a story to the point where it was unclear which is which. He wrote two other fantasy novels with a similar theme: Typewriter in the Sky, which starts as a traditional pirate adventure story, but then there is a sound of a typewriter clacking in the sky, and then everything in the story is rearranged. 

The most fascinating work of Hubbard’s fantasy/horror, and the one with the best insight into his psyche, is Fear, a psychological thriller where a man is visited by demons and ghouls after mocking black magic, and it’s not clear if he’s hallucinating them or if he is going insane, and both possibilities are equally horrifying. There’s no Soldier of the Mist (or Gene Wolfe in general) without Fear. The reason this story is the most fascinating insight into Hubbard as a man is because I actually suspect that L. Ron Hubbard, who wrote about the blurring between fantasy and reality, and had a tendency to write nervous, unheroic, nebbish main characters, may not have been a complete scammer. I think he was the kind of scammer that believed his own bullshit and got high on his own supply, a pusher and user simultaneously. This reminds me of stories Scientology insiders tell where he would have auditing session after auditing session when he felt tormented, something it’s hard to imagine a completely cynical fraudster would do. 

#l. ron hubbard #pulp scifi #30s scifi #golden age #john w. campbell

[rallamajoop]

Twist my arm, why don’t you? XD Well, I did tell you guys to ask!

What the hell, let’s open this one by sharing a few pics from a Sims household created by a good friend of mine, made up of Heisenberg (mad scientist), Mia (secret agent) and Ethan (just really wants to be a dad). The three of them immediately became the most delightful sims-land trainwreck imaginable.

Their neighbourhood is full of werewolves, because you can do that in the Sims. Ethan’s apparently made friends with some of them. But because this is Sims-land, when he and Mia tried to have a romantic dinner together, it ended with Ethan passed out on the kitchen floor while Mia set herself on fire, with Heisenberg running in in his underwear with some passing hippie, and being no help whatsoever. Aren’t Sims wonderful?

Beyond the land of the Sims, though… I mean, let’s be honest, my desire for mithanberg comes from how I ship both Ethan/Heisenberg and Ethan/Mia, and refuse to choose between them. I could see it working either as a proper OT3, or a poly arrangement where Ethan’s involved with both of them, but Mia and Heisenberg aren’t involved with each other (on which note, I also ship the hell out of Mia/Zoe, so Mia is not missing out here).

For the few really mithanberg-ish things I’ve ever posted so far, Follow Me Home is headed for the former category, whereas that other one is more likely headed for the latter. Going for the proper-OT3 option does come with the extra hurdle of trying to figure out how Mia/Heisenberg would work when they’ve never even met in canon, but I am fully up for the challenge.

But there’s way more to this ship for me than just the convenience of ‘why not both’. Seriously, wintersberg fic is missing out on so much by writing Mia off so quickly.

For one, Ethan’s somewhat-complicated relationship with Mia is the best evidence you could ask for that Ethan might actually be up for getting involved with someone as fucked up as Heisenberg (or even Chris, if you’re more into winterfield). Mia has canonically lied to Ethan, (accidentally) drawn him into mortal danger, and (while possessed) sliced off his hand with a chainsaw. Ethan’s still with her in RE8, so clearly he’s willing to forgive.

Fig 1: Apparently not a dealbreaker!

Heisenberg, meanwhile, opens their relationship by stabbing Ethan with a fucking spear-headed fencepost, chains him up, drags him off be put on trial, and ‘rescues’ him only by throwing him into a gauntlet of lycans and spike traps. He later sends Ethan through the second gauntlet that is the Stronghold, before finally trying to make a deal with him. When Ethan refuses, Heisenberg throws him to a chainsaw-propeller-faced monstrosity made of engine parts sewed onto a corpse.

Fig 2: Also not a dealbreaker?

I will make some excuses for Heisenberg, given that he’s been trapped in a repressive cult for decades and seems to have internalised a lot of bullshit about the strong destroying the weak, but holy shit is this guy red flag city (and I love it). And that’s not even touching on all the violent bullshit Chris pulls in this game. You may also note that neither Heisenberg or Chris have Mia’s convenient mind-control or replaced-by-a-shapeshifter excuse for their worst behaviour.

Ethan asks for none of the madness all these maniacs have injected into his life, but goddamn, does he learn to roll with it and come back swinging. Whether or not you assume Ethan ever found out the truth about Mia’s past, she offers us some solid proof that Ethan’s ‘type’ does not exclude covert special agents with a talent for violence, who’ve spent years working full-time for evil bioweapons manufacturers. Ethan may not be ready to admit to himself that he’s got a thing for dangerous people, and Mia may be a lot better at pretending to be normal than Heisenberg, but the fact Ethan’s still with her could say a lot.

Basically, if you wanna ship Ethan with either of these other guys, Mia Winters is the best ally you could ask for!

There are other problems with writing off Mia too quickly so you can ship Ethan with someone else, one being that it makes Ethan look like, well, kind of a psychopath. Fic after fic presents him as the kind of guy who can witness the mother of his child being brutally murdered in front of him, and within a matter of hours, he’s apparently realised he was never that happy with her anyway, so it’s just fine if he’s fucking some other dude. The fact the ‘Mia’ people are so quick to dismiss as an abusive bitch wasn’t even the real Mia apparently doesn’t necessitate any sort or reexamination. It’s basically a meme at this point.

Thing is, even if his relationship with the real Mia was unhealthy, you just aren’t going to make a guy like Ethan process that within hours of watching her fucking assassination. Try and make him face it, and you’ll push him straight into defensiveness. Even at the best of times, Ethan’s just not the kind of guy who could leave the mother of his child without a fuckload of heartache and a few rounds of ‘what does this say about me’ at the very least (and Mia loves Ethan far too much to leave him, except in a misguided attempt to protect him). Even if you're writing an AU where Mia really does die (rather than just suffering the usual round of character assassination), at least let that poor boy ANGST about it! C’mon, people – that’s the juicy stuff!

Of course, the real problem fans are grappling with here is that in the current fandom climate, the idea that Ethan would willingly hook up with a guy who stabbed him in the gut that morning is still somehow more palatable than having to consider that Ethan might be capable of being (gasp!) less than completely faithful to a partner who doesn’t deserve it. So it’s not enough that he thinks Mia’s dead, she’s also got to be a horrible person and a complete non-entity who can be forgotten as quickly as we’ve brought her up, just to get her out of the way – as if that somehow makes Ethan look better.

People are so eager to get rid of Mia that I have legit read multiple different fics where, even after being mysteriously reborn post-game via horrific mould-magic, somehow one of the very first things Ethan wants to talk about afterwards is divorcing his wife. Can we not even give the poor guy a single scene to have a proper existential crisis over not being human anymore before finding a woman to blame for all his problems?

Fig 3: Ethan's actual thoughts on his wife right before his death

On the greater subject of that whole inconvenient marriage poor Ethan's saddled with, I can only say ‒ again ‒ c’mon, people, that’s the juicy stuff! A good story needs conflict, and Ethan having had this weird hook-up with/confusing attraction to an incredibly creepy guy in the middle of an incredibly confusing day and while he thought his wife was dead, only to later discover that she’s alive? GOLD.

You don’t even necessarily have to wrap it all back around to a happy OT3 scenario. An Ethan who's struggling with Mia’s (actual) death, or even the realisation that he truly can’t deal with all her lies, all while telling himself Heisenberg’s just a rebound fling that doesn’t mean anything – that’s all the angst and pathos and opportunities for filthy smut you could ever ask for! Lean into it! Heck, the Duke tells Ethan outright that he can’t go back to his old life anymore – you could have Ethan decide his own status as a mould-creature makes him too dangerous to go back to Mia and Rose. More angst, more drama, more actual material for narrative conflict!

tl;dr: Write Mia off in a sentence, and not only have you made Ethan look like an asshole, you’ve made your story boring. And thus (thank you for bearing with me) ends my tangent about The State of Wintersberg Fandom, and why Mia deserves more love (from Ethan at least, even if the author can't completely bring themselves to join in).

Getting back to the real topic here: if you are up for letting your resolution involve an OT3 scenario, you’ve got some great options to play with.

Mia bossing the other two around is certainly an angle you could go for, but I think I’d prefer watching Mia and Heisenberg working together to drive Ethan out of his mind (not that options like these are ever mutually exclusive, mind!) But I’m broadly more interested in how you get these three together than what it would look like once they get there. In other words, it’s time to talk Mia and Heisenberg.

As I touched on above, these two do have more in common than it might look at a glance. They’ve both been infected by the mould, they’ve both spent years (or even decades) trapped in dysfunctional, cult-like, mould-controlled families, and had to bottle themselves up and hide behind a persona while working for truly terrible people. They’ve both done some truly terrible stuff themselves, probably watched even worse happen to other innocent people, and presumably internalised some pretty awful excuses for themselves along the way. They’re also both madly in love with Ethan (what, is anyone into wintersberg going to argue with me on that one?) In short, there is no lack of stuff for these two to bond over and find common ground.

I can’t see Mia being too hard to convince if Ethan does want to try an open relationship either. Heck, the first thing we ever see from Mia involves sending Ethan a message where she tries to let him go, because she doesn’t think she’s making it back alive. Her guilt throughout RE7 is palpable, and how much she loves Ethan is the same. I don’t think it’s any stretch to say Mia would be willing to contemplate almost anything if it would make Ethan happy (and frankly, she’s pulled enough shit herself in this relationship that she doesn’t get to get judgy anyhow).

That said, I do think she’d have reasonable concerns about Ethan’s new boyfriend being someone like Heisenberg, but then, he’s hardly any more dangerous than what Mia’s brought to the table herself. If anything, your bigger obstacle would be convincing Ethan that he’s sure enough about whatever’s going on with Heisenberg to admit it at all. But then, I don’t think getting Mia and Heisenberg involved with each other too would be too difficult either.

It doesn’t hurt that Mia has a lot of the same characteristics that probably draw Heisenberg to Ethan: a badass survivor, tough and determined enough to be a little sassy even in the face of danger, but still very vulnerably human underneath. That vulnerable side of Mia is a very important part of her to me – it’s the main aspect in play in the longest thing I’ve (yet) posted with any Mia/Heisenberg interaction, where she’s locked up in Miranda’s lab, and has no good reason to trust him. There’s nothing openly shippy going on in that story, though Heisenberg makes no bones about what he wants with her husband. I’m not sure exactly where things are headed in that universe, but you know there’s drama coming on in that front.

The main point there is that Mia’s not too badass to be intimated by Heisenberg, especially when she’s got her back up against the wall. Take them out of the village, though, and I can see Mia being a much tougher nut to crack.

Which is mostly my way of leading into mentioning that the longest thing I’ve written between them that I haven’t posted yet basically flips the previous scenario: instead of Heisenberg coming to tell Mia he’s after her husband, now it’s Mia coming to tell him she knows what he’s after, and he's about to receive some serious grilling about his intentions. What I realised in writing it was that somewhere in the middle of this conversation, Heisenberg goes from seeing Mia as an obstacle between him and Ethan to seeing her as a potential bonus. He’s impressed with her gall and starting to look at her in a whole new light. This is one ficbit that's definitely going places ‒ only problem being the usual one: I’ve still got to write the rest of the damn fic to get to that scene. (I’m working on it! But you know how it goes.)

That isn’t the only way I can see you getting the three of them together, of course. One interesting alternate possibility might be to suggest that Mia and Heisenberg have met before. Mia seems to have met Miranda (they’ve been photographed together, at least), and it’s not completely beyond the realms of possibility that Miranda might have brought along an ‘assistant’ (slash-bodyguard-slash-whatever else she thinks he’s useful for). And if she’s going to bring any of her ‘children’, Heisenberg is by far the best qualified to pass as normal, hilarious as that should be.

I don’t imagine either Heisenberg of Mia would be eager to admit any of their personal reservations about their respective ‘bosses’ to each other, meeting under circumstances like that. But the possibilities are intriguing nonetheless.

For complete AU territory, however, I don’t think you could find a better start point for an Ethan/Mia/Heisenberg scenario than to introduce Heisenberg as Mia’s ex. He’d be back in her life for Reasons, and Ethan would naturally be more than a little threatened by this huge, hot guy with history with his wife, little realising that Heisenberg’s as interested in Ethan as he is in rekindling anything with her.

Or for doing the whole thing on easy-mode, suppose Mia and Ethan have always been in an open relationship from the start – or that they’ve already had that conversation because Mia’s also in love with Zoe (I meant it when I said I ship them too!) Doesn’t mean there’s no angst or drama potential for Ethan getting involved with Heisenberg: he’s still going to be questioning what’s wrong with him that this guy is turning his crank, or whether it’s remotely appropriate for him to be seeing someone new while he’s got a six-month-old daughter at home. But if nothing else, I can promise you that having a third person around to babysit while Ethan’s ‘busy’ could only do good things for his sex life at this point. ;D

So, yeah – those would be My Thoughts On Mithanberg in a nutshell (or possibly more of a nut bowl, I can never resist the urge turn out a full essay on this stuff). If you’ve got any interest in writing mithanberg yourself, please do consider all these ideas free to a good home! Treating Mia better makes Ethan/Heisenberg better for me, and all those possibilities are right there to explore.

But to finish, have some more random Sims!

There are many more of these if anyone wants to see them, though most are less G-rated ‒ the friend running this household has installed ALL of the porn mods to enhance this little trainwreck.

(Also, before I'm done, just throwing a quick tag at @macgyvertape, since I had to screenshot their ask rather than reply 'officially' so I could reply to the both of them at once.)

#mithanberg #wintersberg #mithan #Ethan Winters #Karl Heisenberg #Mia Winters #Resident Evil Village #asks #meta #LetThatBoyAngst! #Mia Winters week

[yonhet]

I’m a believer in the whole Echo Zane is Mr. E thing but the whole story of him is tragically hilarious when you break it down:

-He is literally built as a shittier version of zane, like face just falls off type of shitty

-this happens sometime prior to season one, like he has been around suffering this entire time

-Sometime prior to season two Dr. Julian locks him into a fucking dungeon in the lighthouse for no reason

-he then knowingly leaves him to rot in the lighthouse when he is rescued, with the whole episode having the lesson that “no one deserves to be imprisoned, while Echo Zane is rotting in the fucking walls”

-The only person who knows he exists then dies off screen instantly of “we don’t want to keep this character around disease, which kills Sensei garmadon later)

-When he finally gets out in Skybound time travel bullshit puts him back in the lighthouse dungeon and Jay and Nya who know full well he is there never go back to help him, (canonically they later tell Wu about the whole thing who also decides not to help him)

-The Sons of Garmadon then somehow acquire him from the lighthouse (who apparently have quite the team of robotics experts and engineers on hand) and he’s just evil now

-him being locked in the lighthouse for 6 seasons didn’t faze him because he’s a nice little guy in skybound but being locked in it for 2 more seasons turned him into a revenge-driven insane mute

-He spends the whole season hating on zane, literally almost beating him to death and never decides to reveal their relation (i know he does in the deleted scene but this is way funnier)

-Him taking on the alias “Mr. E” FUCKING MYSTERY and it never being revealed to anyone who he is will forever be my favorite niniago writing blunder

-Despite being the most competent member of the Sons of Garmadon by quite a bit ,he is ripped limb from limb by garmadon for no reason

-Sometime between season 9 and season 16 (at least in my head cannon) Harumi rebuilds him and he just has a glock now, and is also fully on board for helping out niniago Satan

-After his 16 season long journey he is crushed to death under a Better Call Saul billboard

#ninjago #lego #echo zane

[scholastic-dragon]

Rocket is the biggest comfort character to me and I’m not ready/not ready for vol 3,

Could you do a rocket x reader where he sees his best friend trying to leave the guardians, them thinking they all don’t need him but rocket doesn’t want them to leave as he’s been very happy with them.

This just felt too good and the thought of rocket either dying or leaving gives me an empty feeling

Bro same, and if he does d!e I'm just not going to acknowledge it like, 🙈, hear no evil, see no evil.

Rocket x Gn!reader

I Care

Word Count: 663

Warnings: insecure reader, language, ~spelling mistakes~

Summary: Rocket opens up to you for the first time after you try to leave the Guardians.

Rocket was a light sleeper.

Always had been: any little beep, buzz, or footsteps would startle him awake. While normal animals had good hearing, Rocket was cursed with "super hearing" as Groot called it. He could hear 5x the normal animal.

He could hearing the engine rumbling in his room, hear Quill and Drax arguing from across the ship. And while most times he could roll over and go back to sleep, this time he couldn't.

You were moving about it your room across the hall, it wasn't uncommon, you often had restless nights or simply felt like cleaning.

He understood, it was quiet and you could actually get work done without interruptions.

He layed on his stomach, face buried in his pillow, thin blanket covering him. His room was mostly dark, save for the few inventions that had small blinking lights.

His brow furrowed hearing your dresser close for the third time in the last ten minutes.

Then your door opened and closed and you headed down the hall.

Maybe you were going to shower?

No, the bathroom is the opposite way.

You were heading towards the loading dock.

Rocket sat up, looking at the clock on his bedside. 5:24 AM. What were you doing going to the loading dock at 5 in the morning?

Grumbling, Rocket tossed the blanket off himself and jumped out of bed. He opened his door, peering out into the hallway before following you.

You had just opened the port door when he caught you.

"Y/n?" You froze, hand still on the doors control panel. "What're you doing?" His voice was groggy, he was clearly tired as he came toward you.

"I...well I-I," You stuttered, not able to look at him. He took another few steps closer, coming within five feet from you, it was then he saw your duffel bag at your feet.

"Why do you have your bag with you?" Rocket looked up to meet your eyes. "And why are you fully dressed? What's going on?" The fear in his voice rose.

You met his eyes, trying desperately to hold back your tears.

"You're... You're leaving," He gasped, taking a step back, squinting his eyes.

"I don't belong here, Rocket," You sighed, not able to keep your feelings in anymore. "I'm different from you guys, I'm not as strong or brave or as smart as you, I just cause problems, so I'm going home,"

"You are home," Rocket admonished, pointing a finger at the floor.

"It didn't feel that way when you yelled at me for breaking my blaster," You mumble, looking at your feet.

"Just because I loose my temper or get upset doesn't mean I want you to leave," He stepped forward, taking your hand and tugging it until you kneeled on the floor in front of him. "You're my best friend, and I don't want you to leave,"

"You don't, but what about the others, I can tell I just upset them and am just a burden, they don't care-"

"I care," He interrupted. You were sure if he could turn red he would with how angry he sounded. "You matter to me and I don't care that you're not as smart as me, or as strong as Drax. You're funny and clever and tolerate all of our bullshit. You're my best friend and you're a part of my family, please don't leave,"

Tears spilled down your face, you squeezed his hand gently. Inhaling sharply you wipe away your fallen tears and smile at him.

"You're my family too, thanks Rocket, I needed that,"

"I was tempted to smack the shit out of you, but I'm glad this worked instead," You both laughed softly. "Does this mean you'll stay?"

"Yes, I'll stay," You nod, feeling your worries start to disapate. It'll take some work to get them all to go away, but it was a start.

"Thank God, I don't think I'd be able to tolerate Quill without you,"

#guardians of the galaxy #guardians of the galaxy headcannons #guardians of the galaxy imagine #gotg #gotg headcannons #gotg imagines #guardians of the galaxy vol 2 #guardians of the galaxy vol 2 headcannons #guardians of the galaxy vol 2 imagines #gotg2 #gotg2 headcannons #gotg2 imagines #rocket #rocket raccoon #rocket raccoon imagines #rocket racoon headcannons #rocket racoon x reader #thanks for the ask!

[tarynisbunhead]

So, they're making a film centered around the classic childrens book Harold and the Purple Crayon. That's a book I remember reading in grade school back in the 80s, in fact I still have my copy of the book. The amount of dingbats who flood the comment sections with "Just a live action rip off of Chalk Zone" is astounding. Cool, you watched a show on Nickelodeon, in the 80s there was Simon in the Land of Chalk Drawings and it was part of the show Pinwheel - I watched that show religiously. Simon was the inspiration for Chalk Zone, the cartoonist behind Simon wrote the children book series. The internet has this thing called a search engine, try using it before posting something that makes you look like a total dumbass.

There are several silly kid books about children using crayons and chalk, those drawings then come to life and the child interacts with their drawings. Harold and the Purple Crayon was released in the 1950s, Norway has the story The Magic Chalk that was released in the 1940s, and of course the Simon series that I believe came out in the 70s. From what I saw, other countries have cartoons about crayon and chalk drawings coming to life that date back to the early 1980s. For gosh sakes Spongebob had that evil doodle episode! So this dumb idea that Chalk Zone is original is absolute bullshit.

Just a side note, is magic and imagination just a foreign concept now? The crayon is clearly magic but grown adults were ass mad and freaking out about how shit they saw in the trailer wasn't logical. Captain America injected with immortal serum isn't logical yet this set you off? What the hell? I would think you'd be more concerned about preventing your kid from drawing all over walls with their "magic" purple crayon after the see this movie or read the book. That was the big problem when I was a kid in grade school, teachers had to confiscate purple crayons after several kids drew on walls around the school, and of course I did my share of drawing around the house. If you think your kid won't be that problem child, think again.

[buttercups-song]

Extremely late thoughts on episode four:

I’m sorry is this a doctor who episode? I cannot see the intro with what looks like the time vortex and not go doo wee doo!

Why did Sylvie think it was a good idea to throw renslayer into the citadel? Like that’s such an obviously horrible plan! Edit: oh surprise surprise it was a horrible plan

Weren’t mobius and loki just behind victor? Where are they? Also yes it’s probably also a horrible idea to take him to the tva (not that they have many other options considering the loom is about to go into meltdown) and it’s probably going to be the thing that starts the tva in the first place

Edit: he’s spaghetti now

What the fuck is Sylvie doing here? Girl I thought you wanted to have a normal life

Oh so we’re just forgiving the genocidal general? Who murdered untold billions of billions of lives? And we’re giving her her job back? Delightful. Can’t see how this can go wrong (now I don’t trust saraquel whatever her name is in here)

I love how everyone is so excited to see ouroboros

Oh time is a circle! An ouroboros!!!

Oh my god victor likes and admires O.B is that why his memories were never wiped?

Mobius and Loki being married and Sylvie is so tired of their bickering

Also, theoretically, shouldn’t Loki/Sylvie be the best candidate to launch the whatever into the loom? I kind of hate that mcu keeps deliberately forgetting that they’re gods. Wouldn’t their strength and speed be to their advantage? Aren’t they more likely to survive more radiation than other tva employees who are (presumably) human? Also can’t they use magic to move the thingy without even getting out there? We know they have telekinesis!

Oh my god I’m so tired of Sylvie’s bullshit! I liked her last season! “You want to leave it to them?” Yes? They are the engineers?? Wtf is he supposed to do right now? Is he supposed to invent the solution to a problem you created? When will you take responsibility? At least Loki and mobius and b-15 and everyone else are trying to do something while you were chilling at a mcdonalds!!! You started this by killing he who remains without a second thought about the consequences and now you’re accusing mobius that he doesn’t care what happens to the timelines? Mobius who’s been working to save everything?

I’m not going to feel bad for the woman who killed literally untold numbers of people but jfc that was horrific

X-5 after seeing your colleagues turned into mush you’re still going to follow ravonna?

That wasn’t very surprising but still! Good job honey! You saved yourself!

I love that Loki bickered with mobius about which one of them would put on the suit but in the end he volunteered without a second of hesitation

Oh my god

Oh my god he turned into spaghetti

I feel so bad for victor now??? I was waiting for him to turn evil but he was just nice? And brave?? And he died???

#loki #loki season 2 #loki spoilers

[mostlysignssomeportents]

Podcasting "Microincentives and Enshittification"

Tomorrow (Oct 25) at 10hPT/18hUK, I'm livestreaming an event called "Seizing the Means of Computation" for the Edinburgh Futures Institute.

This week on my podcast, I read my recent Medium column, "Microincentives and Enshittification," about the way that monopoly drives mediocrity, with Google's declining quality as Exhibit A:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/07/28/microincentives-and-enshittification/

It's not your imagination: Google used to be better – in every way. Search used to be better, sure, but Google used to be better as a company. It treated its workers better (for example, not laying off 12,000 workers months after a stock buyback that would have paid their salaries for the next 27 years). It had its users' backs in policy fights – standing up for Net Neutrality and the right to use encryption to keep your private data private. Even when the company made ghastly mistakes, it repented of them and reversed them, like the time it pulled out of China after it learned that Chinese state hackers had broken into Gmail in order to discover which dissidents to round up and imprison.

None of this is to say that Google used to be perfect, or even, most of the time, good. Just that things got worse. To understand why, we have to think about how decisions get made in large organizations, or, more to the point, how arguments get resolved in these organizations.

We give Google a lot of shit for its "Don't Be Evil" motto, but it's worth thinking through what that meant for the organization's outcomes over the years. Through most of Google's history, the tech labor market was incredibly tight, and skilled engineers and other technical people had a lot of choice as to where they worked. "Don't Be Evil" motivated some – many – of those workers to take a job at Google, rather than one of its rivals.

Within Google, that meant that decisions that could colorably be accused of being "evil" would face some internal pushback. Imagine a product design meeting where one faction proposes something that is bad for users, but good for the company's bottom line. Think of another faction that says, "But if we do that, we'll be 'evil.'"

I think it's safe to assume that in any high-stakes version of this argument, the profit side will prevail over the don't be evil side. Money talks and bullshit walks. But what if there were also monetary costs to being evil? Like, what if Google has to worry about users or business customers defecting to a rival? Or what if there's a credible reason to worry that a regulator will fine Google, or Congress will slap around some executives at a televised hearing?

That lets the no-evil side field a more robust counterargument: "Doing that would be evil, and we'll lose money, or face a whopping fine, or suffer reputational harms." Even if these downsides are potentially smaller than the upsides, they still help the no-evil side win the argument. That's doubly true if the downsides could depress the company's share-price, because Googlers themselves are disproportionately likely to hold Google stock, since tech companies are able to get a discount on their wage-bills by paying employees in abundant stock they print for free, rather than the scarce dollars that only come through hard graft.

When the share-price is on the line, the counterargument goes, "That would be evil, we will lose money, and you will personally be much poorer as a result." Again, this isn't dispositive – it won't win every argument – but it is influential. A counterargument that braids together ideology, institutional imperatives, and personal material consequences is pretty robust.

Which is where monopoly comes in. When companies grow to dominate their industries, they are less subject to all forms of discipline. Monopolists don't have to worry about losing disgusted employees, because they exert so much gravity on the labor market that they find it easy to replace them.

They don't have to worry about losing customers, because they have eliminated credible alternatives. They don't have to worry about losing users, because rivals steer clear of their core business out of fear of being bigfooted through exclusive distribution deals, predatory pricing, etc. Investors have a name for the parts of the industry dominated by Big Tech: they call it "the kill zone" and they won't back companies seeking to enter it.

When companies dominate their industries, they find it easier to capture their regulators and outspend public prosecutors who hope to hold them to account. When they lose regulatory fights, they can fund endless appeals. If they lose those appeals, they can still afford the fines, especially if they can use an army of lawyers to make sure that the fine is less than the profit realized through the bad conduct. A fine is a price.

In other words, the more dominant a company is, the harder it is for the good people within the company to win arguments about unethical and harmful proposals, and the worse the company gets. The internal culture of the company changes, and its products and services decline, but meaningful alternatives remain scarce or nonexistent.

Back to Google. Google owns more than 90% of the search market. Google can't grow by adding more Search users. The 10% of non-Google searchers are extremely familiar with Google's actions. To switch to a rival search engine, they have had to take many affirmative, technically complex steps to override the defaults in their devices and tools. It's not like an ad extolling the virtues of Google Search will bring in new customers.

Having saturated the search market, Google can only increase its Search revenues by shifting value from searchers or web publishers to itself – that is, the only path to Search growth is enshittification. They have to make things worse for end users or business customers in order to make things better for themselves:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/01/21/potemkin-ai/#hey-guys

This means that each executive in the Search division is forever seeking out ways to shift value to Google and away from searchers and/or publishers. When they propose a enshittificatory tactic, Google's market dominance makes it easy for them to win arguments with their teammates: "this may make you feel ashamed for making our product worse, but it will not make me poorer, it will not make the company poorer, and it won't chase off business customers or end users, therefore, we're gonna do it. Fuck your feelings."

After all, each microenshittification represents only a single Jenga block removed from the gigantic tower that is Google Search. No big deal. Some Google exec made the call to make it easier for merchants to buy space overtop searches for their rivals. That's not necessarily a bad thing: "Thinking of taking a vacation in Florida? Why not try Puerto Rico – it's a US-based Caribbean vacation without the transphobia and racism!"

But this kind of advertising also opens up lots of avenues for fraud. Scammers clone local restaurants' websites, jack up their prices by 15%, take your order, and transmit it to the real restaurant, pocketing the 15%. They get clicks by using some of that rake to buy an ad based on searches for the restaurant's name, so they show up overtop of it and rip off inattentive users:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/02/24/passive-income/#swiss-cheese-security

This is something Google could head off; they already verify local merchants by mailing them postcards with unique passwords that they key into a web-form. They could ban ads for websites that clone existing known merchants, but that would incur costs (engineer time) and reduce profits, both from scammers and from legit websites that trip a false positive.

The decision to sell this kind of ad, configured this way, is a direct shift of value from business customers (restaurants) and end-users (searchers) to Google. Not only that, but it's negative sum. The money Google gets from this tradeoff is less than the cost to both the restaurant (loss of goodwill from regulars who are affronted because of a sudden price rise) and searchers (who lose 15% on their dinner orders). This trade-off makes everyone except Google worse off, and it's only possible when Google is the only game in town.

It's also small potatoes. Last summer, scammers figured out how to switch out the toll-free numbers that Google displayed for every airline, redirecting people to boiler-rooms where con-artists collected their credit-card numbers and sensitive personal information (passports, etc):

https://www.nbcnews.com/tech/tech-news/phone-numbers-airlines-listed-google-directed-scammers-rcna94766

Here again, we see a series of small compromises that lead to a massive harm. Google decided to show users 800 numbers rather than links to the airlines' websites, but failed to fortify the process for assigning phone numbers to prevent this absolutely foreseeable type of fraud. It's not that Google wanted to enable fraud – it's that they created the conditions for the fraud to occur and failed to devote the resources necessary to defend against it.

Each of these compromises indicates a belief among Google decision-makers that the consequences for making their product worse will be outweighed by the value the company will generate by exposing us to harm. One reason for this belief is on display in the DOJ's antitrust case against Google:

https://www.justice.gov/opa/press-release/file/1328941/download

The case accuses Google of spending tens of billions of dollars to buy out the default search position on every platform where an internet user might conceivably perform a search. The company is lighting multiple Twitters worth of dollars on fire to keep you from ever trying another search engine.

Spraying all those dollars around doesn't just keep you from discovering a better search engine – it also prevents investors from funding that search engine in the first place. Why fund a startup in the kill-zone if no one will ever discover that it exists?

https://www.theverge.com/23802382/search-engine-google-neeva-android

Of course, Google doesn't have to grow Search to grow its revenue. Hypothetically, Google could pursue new lines of business and grow that way. This is a tried-and-true strategy for tech giants: Apple figured out how to outsource its manufacturing to the Pacific Rim; Amazon created a cloud service, Microsoft figured out how to transform itself into a cloud business.

Look hard at these success stories and you discover another reason that Google – and other large companies – struggle to grow by moving into adjacent lines of business. In each case – Apple, Microsoft, Amazon – the exec who led the charge into the new line of business became the company's next CEO.

In other words: if you are an exec at a large firm and one of your rivals successfully expands the business into a new line, they become the CEO – and you don't. That ripples out within the whole org-chart: every VP who becomes an SVP, every SVP who becomes an EVP, and every EVP who becomes a president occupies a scarce spot that it worth millions of dollars to the people who lost it.

The one thing that execs reliably collaborate on is knifing their ambitious rivals in the back. They may not agree on much, but they all agree that that guy shouldn't be in charge of this lucrative new line of business.

This "curse of bigness" is why major shifts in big companies are often attended by the return of the founder – think of Gates going back to Microsoft or Brin returning to Google to oversee their AI projects. They are the only execs that other execs can't knife in the back.

This is the real "innovator's dilemma." The internal politics of large companies make Machiavelli look like an optimist.

When your company attains a certain scale, any exec's most important rival isn't the company's competitor – it's other execs at the same company. Their success is your failure, and vice-versa.

This makes the business of removing Jenga blocks from products like Search even more fraught. These quality-degrading, profit-goosing tactics aren't coordinated among the business's princelings. When you're eating your seed-corn, you do so in private. This secrecy means that it's hard for different product-degradation strategists to realize that they are removing safeguards that someone else is relying on, or that they're adding stress to a safety measure that someone else just doubled the load on.

It's not just Google, either. All of tech is undergoing a Great Enshittening, and that's due to how intertwined all these tech companies. Think of how Google shifts value from app makers to itself, with a 30% rake on every dollar spent in an app. Google is half of the mobile duopoly, with the other half owned by Apple. But they're not competitors – they're co-managers of a cartel. The single largest deal that Google or Apple does every year is the bribe Google pays Apple to be the default search for iOS and Safari – $15-20b, every year.

If Apple and Google were mobile competitors, you'd expect them to differentiate their products, but instead, they've converged – both Apple and Google charge sky-high 30% payment processing fees to app makers.

Same goes for Google/Facebook, the adtech duopoly: not only do both companies charge advertisers and publishers sky-high commissions, clawing 51 cents out of every ad dollar, but they also illegally colluded to rig the market and pay themselves more, at advertisers' and publishers' expense:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jedi_Blue

It's not just tech, either – every sector from athletic shoes to international sea-freight is concentrated into anti-competitive, value-annihilating cartels and monopolies:

https://www.openmarketsinstitute.org/learn/monopoly-by-the-numbers

As our friends on the right are forever reminding us: "incentives matter." When a company runs out of lands to conquer, the incentives all run one direction: downhill, into a pit of enshittification. Google got worse, not because the people in it are worse (or better) than they were before – but because the constraints that discipline the company and contain its worst impulses got weaker as the company got bigger.

Here's the podcast episode:

https://craphound.com/news/2023/10/23/microincentives-and-enshittification/

And here's a direct link to the MP3 (hosting courtesy of the Internet Archive; they'll host your stuff for free, forever):

https://archive.org/download/Cory_Doctorow_Podcast_452/Cory_Doctorow_Podcast_452_-_Microincentives_and_Enshittification.mp3

And here's my podcast's RSS feed:

http://feeds.feedburner.com/doctorow_podcast

If you'd like an essay-formatted version of this post to read or share, here's a link to it on pluralistic.net, my surveillance-free, ad-free, tracker-free blog:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/07/28/microincentives-and-enshittification/

#pluralistic #podcasts #enshittification #google #microincentives #monopoly #incentives matter #trustbusting #the curse of bigness

[hopefulstarfire]

Howdy friends. Should I be working on the main fic? Yeah probably. Am I still working on moving next week and also working with my friends on trying to restructure everything on my fic outline as the ocs develop more? Also yes. So uh have a drabble I wrote today bc why not. Please accept my humble offerings.

The old Impala finally parked in the driveway and Iris cut the engine, leaning back in her seat for a moment. Exhaustion had been setting in since the flight back to the city, and now had driven itself deep into her bones, muscles, heart. Her thumb and index finger massaged closed eyelids, trying to bid away the strain as well as a headache coming on.

If she didn't have a job to worry about going back to in the morning, she'd happily take a week long coma after all of that absolute nonsense. Tournaments and Dueling could be fun, she knew; there was a reason everyone kept coming back to the game. She enjoyed the game.

But having multiple people fall into comas because their minds got sent to some evil dark dimension that she was 90% sure was just the actual realms of hell, her father and the other old douchebags come back to try and kill her, her family's collective trauma thrown back into and her siblings face with the reveal they had another brother that was a complete shithead that had also wanted them dead, and then her brother blowing up the last remnants of the old KaibaCorp and making the others believe he was dead for a solid 60 seconds (she had it timed, she had kept looking at her watch because she knew he wouldn't) had been enough for her to not want anymore adventures for a while.

Logically, she should have just gone home. River and Flora had gone back with her Dad while Mokuba and Seto had flown out to a different branch of their company to start work on the new and improved Kaibaland, ready to make a real amusement park and not the indoor one. Their Mama was probably worried about them. Really, she could have gone back, had a quick dinner, cleansed herself of the bullshit with a shower and some work at her alter and gone to bed before going back to work the next day.

But. She also had clothes at Alister's house and it was closer. She just wanted to be held for a while. It felt like a better idea to go stay at her boyfriend's and just relax for the night because he understood more what being low energy meant for her.

She grabbed her bag out of the passenger's seat before she climbed out of the car. It was a small walk to the door, and she took note to see most of the lights were out. Alister said he was home, but he was probably upstairs or something, since his room was at the back half of the house. There was no way he was asleep -- he slept a max of about four hours and didn't start trying to sleep until at least midnight. He was probably reading or something.

She jammed her key into the door, twisting the lock and set her purse down on the console table. She busied herself with undoing the buckles on her boots before kicking them off and setting them by her work shoes still sitting there from her last overnight stay -- something that was becoming more and more frequent, really.

(Her mother wasn't entirely wrong with her comment about the two of them practically living together since they got together.)

Iris brushed her bangs back, turning to go towards the stairs only to stop as she realized there was a faint light at the end of the hall.

...To be honest, she sometimes forgot there was a proper dining room in the house. The windowed doors to it were always closed and they never bothered using it -- most of the time they ate in the breakfast nook in the kitchen or on the couch. But there it was, this soft glow of light that instantly screamed candles, accompanied by a scent of cinnamon, apple, cidar and pear as she got closer.

"Alister?" She called out, a brow arched in confusion as she neared.

He didn't respond. She walked closer, stepping into the doorway of the dining room to find him standing there finishing off lighting one more candle and setting it back on the table. He had been dressed in a dark blue sweater that cropped right above his abs, and a nicer pair of black jeans. He had even styled his hair to show off the layers he had -- something she only ever saw first thing in the morning, before he'd style it into the more boxy cut he had.

The table was set with nicer plates they never used and wine glasses, along with table runners and napkins she hadn't seen before ever. The two plates were topped with salmon, alfredo spooned perfectly, and bacon wrapped asparagus. There was enough space on the plate for the salad he had in a separate bowl, along with garlic bread he had on a cutting board. There was a platter with mint chocolate fudge for dessert and a vase with fresh red orchids.

His gaze softened as he looked up at her, hand going to set on the back of a chair. "Hey."

"Hey," she greeted, leaning against the doorway for support. She did a final sweep over the table before she met his gaze, taking a step forward. "What's all this for?"

"Well, contrary to what my brothers will tell you, I do, in fact, have a singular romantic bone in my body," he drawled playfully, a smirk tugging at his lips. "And I figured I should use it to give my girlfriend a nice night in with an attempt at a fancy dinner after what I'm gathering was a shitshow tournament."

She tucked her hair behind her ear, coming up to stand in front of him. "Everything that could go wrong in that tournament went nine more levels of wrong we didn't know were possible."

"Yeah, I had to try and fix the camera footage your brother wanted," he agreed. "I saw part of it. The whole thing was made up of...interesting choices on his part."

"That's one way to put it."

Iris relaxed a bit as she studied him. Most of the time, they did a lot of simple cooking and just enjoying each other's presence. They always put in the effort for each other, but this...this was nice.

She wrapped her arms around him, resting her head against his chest. One arm looped around her waist while the other moved to cradle the back of her head, pulling her close to him.

It was funny. She had always felt comfortable around him. Ever since their friendship first started, it felt like she never had to put on the mask or keep a sizeable amount of distance she did with everyone. He was safe.

But the feeling of peace that washed over her, melting away the tension of the last few days, and the warmth that bloomed in her chest was the realization that once upon a time she would have laughed anyone out of the room if they told her she'd someday feel it -- or scare her deep to the core.

But now...

He pulled back slightly, her hands going to her cheeks as he kissed her softly. When they broke the kiss, their gazes met once more, a small air of comfortable silence falling over them.

His hands dropped after a moment as he reached for the chair. "Come on, let's--"

"I love you."

It fell quietly from her lips, but it was loud enough she couldn't make up some lie about it. She hadn't even meant to say it out loud, the words having played on a loop in her mind until her voice decided to just act on it.

Oh my God, what is wrong with you?! It's too early! It took you HOW LONG to start dating--

He stared at her in disbelief. She could have sworn she could see the gears turning in his mind, his cheeks faintly dusted pink.

Iris bit her lip, looking away as her arms dropped back to her side. "I...you don't have to say it back," she covered, feigning nonchalance. "I just--"

His fingers found her chin, gently guiding her to look at him again. His expression had cleared, pulling her back to him with his free hand at the small of her back. Her hands moved to his chest to steady herself at the sudden push, feeling his heartbeat quickening under her palms.

"I love you, too, Iris." His voice was soft and genuine. He wasn't just saying it to say it, even if he was probably just as nervous as her over it.

Her own cheeks flushed red, the rest of her mind practically cheering in victory. "...Ah."

He snorted, kissing her forehead. "I do," he promised her. "I just...didn't know when to tell you. So thanks for breaking that ice for me."

"Yeah, it's um...it's a little freaky to get that out there, I get that." She managed, clearing her throat.

"Terrifying, honestly."

"Even if that did seem only natural to say after we've been dating for a while now and are basically living with each other."

"And everyone in our lives thought we were dating only a week after we met."

"I'm pretty sure Rie in accounting has had our wedding planned since then, actually."

"Oh, she'll be happy then."

They watched each other for a moment before they both laughed, her head leaning against his shoulder. "Fuck, we're bad at this."

"Oh, the worst," he agreed. "I think that's why we love each other."

"One of a few reasons," she quipped. She leaned up after a moment, kissing him once more, this time with a bit more passion behind it. His hands drifted, keeping her held close to him.

They loved each other. They loved each other.

She never thought she'd see the day. Yet, now, rather than it being some world ending concept that she always imagined it was -- the idea of everything being stripped away from her and everything burning down in an inferno...it was just as natural as breathing. Being by his side made everything else feel right.

Once the kiss ended, he looked her over, debating something before he pulled the chair out for her. "Alright. Let's get some food in you," he said, softly. "After dinner, we're taking a bath and going to bed. How's that sound?"

She smiled, a genuine smile that only ever seemed to be reserved for him as she took her seat. "I can't think of anything better."

#yugioh #ygo #my writing #yugioh ocs #ygo ocs #iris mcginnis #yugioh alister #amelda #alister yugioh #twin stars with different births #trouvailleshipping

[sodiumlamp]

Picard

The one thing, the only thing that I really cared about with Picard Season 2 was this moment where he hugs Q. I don't know if I just figured out he was dying all on my own, or I read spoilers at some point. But I'm pretty sure I saw this and decided there was really only one reason for this. I mean, I guess Q could just be "going away for a really long time." Like he got a job screwing with some other characters in a different dimension, and he won't be back before Picard dies of old age. But it simplifies things if he's just dying, or whatever the Q version of death is.

And I guess the basic idea is sound. Q knows he's only got so much time left, and he wants to spend it on one last romp with Picard, and this one is extra special because it forces Picard to confront his feelings about his mother's suicide.

I don't like Yvette's suicide in a vacuum. It's pretty fucking dark, and the gravitas it would have had in another show is wasted in Star Trek: Picard, which does constantly hotshots dark moments in a vain effort to be profound. By the time we get to Yvette's noose we've already seen Icheb's eye get plucked out, several other character deaths, Evil General Picard's skull collection, and all the spooky hallucinations and flashbacks that foreshadowed the Yvette reveal. The actual reveal gets lost in the shuffle.

Still, for what they were trying to do with Q, the gesture he was trying to make to Picard, it almost has to be something that big and character redefining. It's just that it's a good idea that was cast in the purgatory of this tedious bullshit show. Q's powers giving out was completely unnecessary, except as a way to drag out the story. Now he has to walk everywhere and use proxies like Adam Soong, which just ruins the pacing. All the other Q stories are settled in two hours or less, and that's because he can appear whenever and wherever to gas up the plot, or vanish to allow the story to simmer. But Picard isn't built that way.

The thing I realized today is that this show, and others like it, relies more on the audience speculation than the actual writing. What I mean by that is: You get one story over several episodes, and you're supposed to watch them over a span of time, and between episodes you're supposed to wonder about what's going to happen next. You're expected to rewatch the episodes you have access to and search for clues, formulate fan theories, and then tune in for the next one and see if you were right. And there's fun to be had there, but with Picard, it feels like the show is constructed more to tickle the viewer's curiosity more than actually telling a compelling story. For example:

Most of this episode is about the good guys trying to protect Renee and the Europa launch so Adam Soong doesn't spoil it. Q's nearly powerless, and the Borg Queen left in the previous episode, so there's no one left to be the villain except Soong, and he's... not a strong enough character to carry that off. He tries to poison Renee with a fast-acting neurotoxin, but Gary Eight fakes him out with a decoy. Soong's backup plan is to destroy the spacecraft itself with drones, but Raffi hacks their guidance system and Rios manages to use one drone to take out the other three. Then Kore reappears to reveal she erased all his research files, just to twist the knife. Utterly defeated, Soong reaches into his desk and pulls out a file entitled "PROJECT KHAN". You know, like the Star Trek villain. Khan? You know who that is? Do you?

It's... a dumb moment. This story is over, so there's nowhere for it to go. The good guys return to 2401 at the end of this episode, so they don't have to deal with the Eugenics Wars. And we already know how Khan ended up. This show isn't gonna pay any of this off.

But earlier in this viewing, I considered that maybe Adam Soong had something to do with the Eugenics Wars, since he seemed to be a hawk for genetic engineering, and then it turned out he cloned dozens of daughters in some sort of weird experiment. So during the long, dull minutes of this season, I wondered if maybe he was going to turn out to be involved with Khan and the Eugenics Wars somehow. That was kind of fun. And I was right! Good for me!

Except... I had to make my own fun. The text of Star Trek: Picard doesn't actually do much with any of this. Adam Soong's arc in this season is:

Whoa, what's Brent Spiner doing here?

Oh, he's a scientist with a sick daughter, and he's desperate enough to help Q.

Oh, he's turning into a huge dick. It's like Q corrupted his love for his daughter. Very tragic.

Oh, he's some sort of shady war criminal? So he's always been like this, and he always will be.

It's not much of a character arc at all, is my point. The real fun of Adam Soong depends on the audience to try to figure out his whole deal. Maybe he's Alton Soong from the 25th Century, or Data in disguise! Maybe he's Lore! Maybe he has an army of Kore clones in his basement! But the dirty little secret is that he really isn't that interesting at all. And by the time you find out what he really is, it's the end of the season, and they got away with wasting your time with a dud character.

The "PROJECT KHAN" folder is this cheap prize they give you at the end to reward you for sticking around this long. "Hey, you were right, he really is important because he invents Khan later." But it doesn't actually matter because this is his last appearance. It's just Brent Spiner holding a folder.

The same thing applies to Wesley Crusher showing up to recruit Kore into the Watcher/Traveler organization. I guess the idea here is that the Gary Seven people and the Travelers were in the same group? And now that Renee's Watcher is dead, they have a vacancy. But what makes Kore special? Like, Wesley had all these special talents and gifts. Kore spent her whole life indoors waiting for a cure for her genetic ailments. I mean, maybe she's a super-genius, but they never showed that. It just feels like they worked this in to cover for the fact that they never did much with Kore. "No, no, we meant to overlook Kore! That way you'd never see it coming when we... uh... uh... have her team up with Wesley Crusher! Wow!"

I mean, it's nice to see Wesley. I wasn't sure if he was in this series or not, so I can check off that box. I'm glad he's doing well. But it just doesn't matter. I guess they might still turn up in Season 3, but I doubt it.

So, once Q takes everyone back to their own time, we get back to the Borg crisis from the beginning of the season, and it turns out it's Jurati, and she set all this up to coordinate some big joint mission to save the galaxy from another space anomaly. It really doesn't mean anything, but they had to do some big feel-good thing to pay off the Borg. Jurati's Borg are good guy Borgs, I guess, and they request provisional Federation membership. I guess.

I think that's about all I wanted to go over. There's some interesting ideas in this, but the show is so plodding and slow that it never manages to land any of its best shots. Again, all I cared about was Q and Picard hugging. They could have done anything else to set up that moment, and it probably would have been better. Maye Q uses Picard's house as his own hospice, and Picard's stuck with him as a roommate for a while. Maybe he tries to take Picard on some goofy fantasy adventure but his heart just isn't into it, so Picard takes him out for drinks instead. Maybe they just give in to 30+ years of sexual tension and have dirty, nasty, old man sex for three episodes straight.

Oh, and Elnor's alive again. For all the difference it makes.

#mike watches picard #sheer fucking hubris #i like the candy cane stripes on the project khan file #like the shady organization that wrote the file wanted people to know it's hazardous #watch out for khan he's a flammable solid

[mevekagvain]

Chapter 502 - Damn right through Mirai's boob. She and Yuizi can form a club about it now, though at least Geo went for the side with heart unlike Yuri.

- ...So Lunark and Mirai vacillate between matesprit and kismesis are lovers yeah :3 Though I wonder if Lunark dates both sisters or just Mirai.

- ??? You can't only numb the part of the nervous system for feeling pain since there aren't separate systems for different senses. It'd be possible only if they made it so the signals for pain weren't processed properly so I'll pretend that's what they did to Haydn as a side effect.

Chapter 503 - And Kentas is back from Lukedonia lol.

- Put your clothes back on First.

Chapter 505 - I... I forgot that First gets even uglier.

- Ah yes Blood Spear debut... imagining its gijinka is making me cry omg. A shy noblesse looking child being mothered over by my monstrous Dark Spear gijinka 🥺

Chapter 506 - First??? Since when are artificial bloodstones human tech? Lagus pioneered that shit and must have shared it with Maduke. Humans using bloodstones would have taken Lagus' research. I'm-

Chapter 507 - Why tf did Dark Spear mode make Frankenstein and Lunark's height difference larger. I refuse to acknowledge this shitty art choice.

- Okay so you did one decent thing by making sure the murder satellites won't activate when you die, First. Doesn't change the rest of your bullshit.

- 'Created it in secret'. Idk I feel like whoever is in charge of the Union's finances would have noticed. Maybe if it was just one I'd give it a pass but multiple satellites? For murder? Haha yeah ig that means Urokai woulda known by my hcs. Poor guy. Just wanted to murder his husband and his husband's pet but got dragged into helping people in the Union. The audacity smh.

Chapter 508 - They really need to hire more hackers. Tao may be a superhuman but even he can't do it alone.

Chapter 509 - I wonder what city First spends most of his time in? It's very pretty.

- Crombel's right, First. You're both shitty people.

- Put your shirt back on please Crombel (T°T)

- You two too, First, Third.

- So Crombel wants to play god which means he's going to genetically engineer humans but uh. Who's gonna raise all those test tube babies? Him? His assassination squad? I don't think either is okay.

Chapter 510 - To think it all started with Twelfth Elder suspecting Crombel all that while ago. Good times.

- Oh hey Yuri. Hey Aris. That dress looks much nicer than what Crombel would pick so maybe she got a parcel from Tillie.

- Ah yes time for the random weirdly detailed different artstyle owl.

Chapree 511 - Why would you ever think Frankenstein wants Muzaka to wake up because he cares about him, Lunark? This man would murder him personally if he wasn't Raizel's bff.

- Ajdjisis Frankenstein and Raizel are having a talk as they perch atop boulders by a coast. What is this? A 50 episode drama?

- Third having the decency to tell the household about what happened makes him the best human Elder (aside from you know, the unnamed dead Elders in Frankenstein's flashback who did nothing wrong ever).

Sidenotes - I find it hilarious how the official translation still sucks even as it nears the end. They're calling clan leaders lords.

- Imagining the reactions of all the not evil people at the Union.

"We're going to put aside a significant amount of the budget for something that isn't human modification."

"Yay!!! Omg what is it?! Medical research? Stop climate change and rehabilitate the earth? Eradicate poverty?"

"Attack satellites!"

"... We should have fucking known it was something similarly useless and evil."

#noblesse #raining while reading

[arcticdementor]

Sometimes while I’m here, in the evening chair, in the family room, writing my blog post and doing instapundit, my husband watches a movie. Ranging on what the movie is, this can range from distracting because I watch it or parts of it, to infuriating. Elysium was the second kind. in fact, it was so bad that about halfway through I went upstairs to bed because otherwise I was going to just start screaming at the TV and not stop. The reasons were many from worldbuilding — LA looks like the bad parts of Mexico city, there’s nuns who raise orphans who aren’t orphans, everyone speaks Spanish, except the designated oppressors who speak Africans or English with a South African accent, and who also inexplicably seem to always know where the hero is, or something. ANYWAY, moving right along….. Perhaps the thing that infuriated me most was the harping on the “overpopulation” and how there are so many of us that we’re destroying the planet (and that’s why the rich moved to a space habitat.)

…

Now, why did the population thing get under my skin to that point? Well, mostly because it is probably the most important fight of our time. All the problems we used to think were caused by overpopulation: the loss of wealth, the inability to feed everyone, etc. are in fact problems in low population. Because the highest resource of humanity is humans. We are clever apes, who can engineer our way into anything. Oh, as a side note, before I go on with this, the movie made much of the fact that Elysium — the space habitat — didn’t allow the Spanish speaking, favella-dwelling poor in. This was of course evil and racist. But in fact if the culture of the poor was what was shown in the movie, the habitat couldn’t let them in. Because they’d just make it the same as they’d made of the Earth, and nothing would be improved. So this whole thing was an argument from pointless and counterproductive compassion. But to return to population and our real issue, which is a lack of people. And since people create resources, by finding them or producing them, a lack of resources with it. The economy doesn’t work when the next generation is markedly smaller and the one after that even smaller than that.  There is also a psychological side. Humans work for the future. And the future of humans is other humans. Part of the reason socialism kills slowly is that the generations rely on the state, not each other, and while young people think “why bother” and don’t have kids, but kids are needed for the state to provide for the old, and more importantly, to give adults a sense of the future.

…

It’s not disputed that cats have kind of hacked us into taking care of them — or we hacked them — by changing their features and sounds so that they mimic the look and feel of an infant to our back-brain. Cats have always been with us, and some number of us always found them irresistible. But it’s also undeniable that their popularity is growing all over, and that people not only have larger numbers of cats, but treat the cats increasingly like children and get more and more attached to them. I realized to my discomfort sometime last year that I need young cats around to feel even vaguely optimistic, in fact.

…

But more and more of humanity’s sanity might be riding on their fuzzy butts. And no matter if Engineer-Indy is engineer, cats are not the future of humanity. We’re in deep, deep trouble. And evil pieces of propaganda blaming more humans for all ills possible — but mostly imaginary — just push us deeper into trouble. Maybe it’s time our overculture got — or was given — a clue, and stopped killing us softly with their bullshit.

#sarah hoyt #elysium #demographics #cats #read the whole thing

[britesparc]

Weekend Top Ten #634

Top Ten Transformer Cities

I’m back on my bullshit, by not only doing a totally unnecessary continuation of last week’s list – bringing you the most disappointing sequel since every single Terminator movie released after 1991 – but also once more wanging on about bloody Transformers again.

Yes, after talking generically about fictional cities last week – ranking both Gotham and Metropolis as best in show, uniting the entire DC universe as the bestest at making make-believe towns and that – I’m now doubling down by picking one particular fictional universe (well, I guess, one particular franchise that’s full of broadly-similar but still somewhat different universes in a vast multiverse of toys what turn into stuff), and ranking the greatest cities therein. And this is especially fun with Transformers because a lot of their cities actually turn into stuff!

So there’s going to be two strings to this bow, really: the cities that are also people – your “Titans”, your Metroplex and Trypticon and the like – and then the cities that are just cities. These latter townships – all places on Cybertron, as it happens – are interesting because of their place in fiction. They could be prominent cities, the Transformers equivalent of Metropolis; or they could be, say, the birthplace of the War on Cybertron, or where the dead rose, or the place that gave its name to the leader of the Decepticon Justice Department.

And that’s all there is to it! Ten cities from the various wings of the Transformers franchise, ranked in order of how cool I think they are.  

Autobot City: the Earth-based city that’s the star of 1986’s classic The Transformers: The Movie, it’s a beautiful piece of metallic engineering in a luxurious rocky setting, featuring cascading waterfalls and attractive foliage. Can be converted – with some difficulty – into a battle fortress with large guns, missiles, and multiple blast shields. Probably not quite as attractive in 2005 as it was in 2004.

Metroplex: now, is Metroplex actually Autobot City? Or does he sleep under it? Is he a part of it? Regardless, Metroplex is a city – the first real city-bot – but he’s also a person. This was a fantastic conceit in 1986, and the toy really did feel incredibly cool as both a base/battle station and as a frickin’ huge toy robot. The character’s stoicism, selflessness, and humbleness is a great counterpoint to his huge badassery too.

Trypticon: the Autobots have a bloke to be their city; so the Decepticons have a monster. Whilst Metroplex might have the “platonic ideal of robot city” conceit all sewed up, what could be as cool – cooler, even? A giant dinosaur. Yeah, he’s had some cool characterisations over the years; but basically, just being a kaiju-sized robot T-Rex is more than enough. Also: his toy could walk.

Iacon: the capital city of Cybertron (most of the time, I think), it’s one of the most-seen locations on the planet. It’s one of the only places that seems to have a distinct look. It’s got large domed buildings and several towers, and usually is home to important functions of state or Cybertronian culture. One of the few places that really does appear frequently across multiple versions of the franchise, and as such is often wrecked, too.

Scorponok: back to the city-bots, and if you can’t have a chuffing huge dinosaur, how about a frankly massive scorpion? Scorponok – and we’ll come back to this point I believe – occupies a funny place as he’s either a big city-sized person or he’s just an above-average Transformer with claws. As a city, he’s got a cool colour scheme and – depending on continuity – was rebuilt out of a secret, evil, underground Nebulon city. As a character, especially in the old Marvel G1, he was fantastic, a nuanced and multifaceted bad guy with doubts and morals. But let’s not take away: city with claws.

Polyhex: basically – traditionally – the Decepticon version of Iacon, it may lack the various elegiac governmental institutions and pretty architecture, but it does boast a sinister fortress called Darkmount, a Cybertronian slum called the Dead End, and – wonder of wonders – the smelting pools, home to one of the most tragic events in the original Marvel comic.

Tarn: I’m not really sure what Tarn is like; how pretty it is, how big, how many Starbucks. But it’s notable – historical – because it’s traditionally where Megatron is from. As such, it often has negative connotations; there’s more than one continuity where it’s destroyed or falls immediately to the Decepticons. It also gave its name to Tarn, the leader of the terrifying Decepticon Justice Division.

Kalis: again, this is a city more notable because of an event. Underneath Kalis, in one continuity at least, a renegade Autobot built a giant reactor, and a signal device that controlled the bodies of dead Transformers. That’s right – the dead walk the streets of Kalis.

Kaon: Kaon is usually a pretty bad town. In some continuities, it basically takes the place of Polyhex as the “Decepticon city”; often it’s still one of – if not the – first city to fall to Megatron. It’s the home of the (illegal?) gladiatorial games where Megatron himself, former miner, rose to power. Like Tarn, it gave its name to a member of the DJD: Kaon the Decepticon turns into, get this, an electric chair.

Fortress Maximus: ah, here we are again: is he a city, or is he a bloke? Fortress Maximus, in most Transformers fiction, is presented – like his Headmaster leader/city counterpart Scorponok – as being basically big and beefy for a bot, but not a base. And I love his character; whether it’s the war-weary pacifist of old Marvel, or the gung-ho cop with PTSD in the IDW comics. However, as a base, he’s great; massive (held the record for the biggest TF toy of all time for over twenty years!), cool-looking, complicated, with my favourite ever gimmick: his head turns into a robot whose head turns into a robot (well, a human). You can’t get better than that. Apart from maybe nine other cities.

#top ten #lists #movies #comics #cartoons #sci-fi #transformers #toys #action figures #transformers the movie #transformers 40

[blondeulence]

hot water

karlach/tav oneshot (lemon)

by me on ao3 !!!!!

used my tav Soleil !!

Karlach was taking her extra-sweet time getting to bed, spending most of her night in a rock-lined pool some previous adventurers had left to fill with river water. The water was cool, her muscles were sore from traveling and unpacking and then packing and then traveling. She was grateful for this new section of her life, and as unfortunate as the company of a brain parasite is, she couldn’t compare it to Avernus. Here, she had friends. She had no plan, a heart that was burning up and a whole lot of bad guys to run through, but she had friends.

There was sunshine and the moon and birds and wind and cold water, as short lived as it was with her condition. The years she’d spent trapped in Avernus made this feel as close to heaven as she could get. Maybe it was as close as she’d ever get. She couldn’t complain, not really. She felt as alive as she ever remembered feeling, ironic as it was. 

Karlach rolled over to face the wall of the pool, lifting her arms out of the water to rest on the cool edge. Her chin rested on the back of her hand and she inhaled the steam rising from her skin. Her engine had begun burning hotter, and it was getting more difficult hiding how uncomfortable it was at times. She could deal with the impending doom, but leaving her friends behind was another thing. She couldn’t have them worry about her when there were brain worms, missing parents, evil ex-masters, lying gods, and so, so many devils to deal with.

Her friend Soleil had sacrificed a lot to be able to help them in the capacity she had. She never mentioned her own family, her own goals, really much of anything. Karlach could never tell if Soleil wasn’t mentioning it intentionally or if she just didn’t remember. A lot of them couldn’t remember a lot, for a variety of reasons. Maybe that's why they got along, and they were all much too proud to admit it.

When they had met Dammon at the Tiefling camp, Soleil had jumped at his offer to help Karlach before she could even open her mouth. She’d spent valuable time and expensive resources helping her get her engine tuned up and never once looked back expecting thanks from her, only “Hi Dammon, please fix my friend.” Of course Karlach hadn’t let the generous deed go unappreciated, she tells her as often as she can how grateful she is but Soleil shrugs it off with an “Of course!” or a “Don’t mention it” every time. How could she not mention her dramatically-increased lifespan thanks to her friend’s effort? She’d never stop, even if it got annoying.

The moonlight felt almost cold against her face. The feeling wasn’t common but it was very welcome, and Karlach closed her eyes.

She really, really did not want to die, but going back to Avernus wasn’t an option. The thought of the hellfire made a painful death on the surface sound like a warm embrace. She wasn’t sure how she could explain this to her friends. Astarion would definitely understand, one of the very few things they saw eye-to-eye on. Lae’zel might even consider a fiery death honorable of her. If she did choose to go back and live, would they visit her? Would they bother? Would the chance that they might make it worth it?

No, it wouldn’t, and she would spare herself the self-pity for tonight. She opened her eyes.

Dew had collected on the dense grass and the moonlight filtering through the trees made it glitter beautifully. The lake ahead caught the same light, stretching it into white ribbons over its gentle current. Halsin talked a lot about nature’s gifts and Karlach decided she should probably slow down to appreciate them, because she’d never been good at accepting gifts, and at least nature can’t suddenly decide it expects anything from her in return.

She’d never felt so cared for. She’d never been so cared for, and she’d never been so understood. Everybody here had their own bullshit and baggage to sort out but they had been helping each other through it - even Wyll, who had been so hell-bent on killing her sacrificed his humanity so she could live, and never let them know of his incoming consequence. She, Lae’zel and Soleil had gotten all the way through Shar’s trials with Shadowheart so she didn’t have to do it alone, even though she changed her mind after. Even Cazador was slaughtered without question, and that was a fucking fight. Astarion hadn’t even been anything but halfway-decent to them all before they’d marched in there with him.

She was getting better at accepting the same kind of love she gave every day. She was so, so grateful.

She might have been too focused on the fireflies to hear the soft footsteps approaching the pool, but when a sweet voice interrupted the silence Karlach did her best to not look too startled.

“Mind if I join you?”

Standing to her right was Soleil, waiting patiently for permission to be included in Karlach’s scheduled overthinking time.

“Hey, you,” Karlach smiled, leaning into the rocks to try and hide how brightly her heart lit up the water. “Come on in, water’s fine.”

“I’m sure it is now,” Soleil giggled, slipping her shoes off, “It looked cold earlier.”

Karlach smiled into her arm, turning back around so Soleil could undress without eyes on her, but mostly so she couldn’t see how her face burned. The water swayed gently and Soleil sighed into it.

“You can’t sleep either?” Soleil asked after she’d settled in the water next to Karlach.

Karlach turned toward her but her answer caught in her throat when she realized how much closer Soleil was than she expected, and much more naked than what she was used to. It was certainly welcome, but now she had to use what was left of her day’s worth of concentration to not stumble over every word.

“Why can’t you sleep?” A non-answer. Karlach’s arms slipped back into the water.

“There’s too much to think about,” Soleil looked down at the water, “I want to do everything, and save everyone… and, we’re out of wine.”

Karlach laughed.

“And Shadowheart’s wailing from Lae’zel’s tent also isn’t helping,” Soleil giggled quietly, “I’ve heard Astarion very loudly rearrange his pillows twice now and I don’t think they’re getting the hint we’re all up.”

Karlach’s hand came up to her mouth to stifle a very loud laugh. Soleil leaned in and giggled quietly.

Once the hilariousness of their sworn-enemy friends’ involvement with each other had passed, Karlach answered Soleil’s initial question, “Yeah, I can’t sleep. It’s just… I’m just-”

“I know.”

“...Yeah.”

A beat passed before Soleil spoke up again, “Does this help?”

The cool water, the quietness of the edge of camp. It really did.

“Yes, a lot,” Karlach breathed, “It’s probably not as nice now, sorry, soldier.”

“That’s why I came over, I knew it wouldn’t be cold.”

Karlach laughed at that. She was such a small thing, so sweet and honest. An appropriate temperature. Karlach wished she could keep her warm forever. “It’s not too bad, is it?”

“It never is.”

Karlach felt her chest burn again. She hoped it wasn’t bright enough to notice.

Soleil’s eyes flicked down to her heart and quickly back up to her eyes and held them. 

“...I’m also thinking too much,” Karlach broke the silence, “About everything. Right when we find a way out of one pile of shit we’re thrown into a deeper and even stinkier one.”

“We’re good at digging our way out, I think,” Soleil rubbed her fingers in the water, “Astarion said earlier that when the Devils start approaching you, you know you’re in deep.”

He’s right, as easy as it was to laugh at the absurdity of it. Even in Avernus she never encountered this many Devils. It had to mean they were close to something, if even the worst creatures imaginable were trying to interrupt them. Even Mizora swore she’d fight with them, and that she wouldn’t let the Duke get hurt, all in exchange for Wyll’s continued servitude. It was sickeningly confusing. 

“We’re up to our tits in hot water,” Karlach had to laugh, “We have to be close to something, then.”

“That's what I’m thinking,” Soleil’s tone changed into the tone she uses when she’s come up with a plan, “What is Raphael trying to keep us from doing?”

She’s right, he had spent all kinds of breath explaining to them why they weren’t going to make it out of any of this alive without his help, and they’d managed fine, mostly, thus far. It sounded insane boiled down like that.

“I really think we can make it out of this,” Soleil continued, gesturing to her head to specify what she meant, “I think we can get rid of these worms, and we can free everyone, and we can be safe, and we won’t have to run anymore.”

She held Karlach’s gaze.

“I think we can fix your heart, Karlach.”

She spoke her name so sweetly, it was painful having to think about explaining to her again that it just isn’t possible, and even if it was, she couldn’t ask that of her. Every second counted now and she’d never be able to live with herself if they’d wasted any more valuable time on her. 

That, and they hadn’t run into Dammon since the shadow curse was lifted. She wasn’t even sure he made it out of the Inn safely, or the slightest idea of where he might have ended up.

“I wish I could hug you,” Karlach exhaled, “You’ve done so much for me, soldier, much more than I’ve asked.”

“I wanted to,” Soleil shrugged, her hand reaching for Karlach’s under the water.

Karlach flinched when their fingers touched, expecting Soleil to pull back in pain, but she never did. She kept her hand held out. Karlach opened her mouth to ask if she’d hurt her, if she was okay, but the words fluttered from her mind when Soleil reached out again, this time linking their pinky fingers together, and then fully taking her hand.

“You okay?” Karlach held her breath, trying her hardest to concentrate on her engine.

“Yes, I’m fine,” Soleil smiled, reassuring her, “You said the water helps?”

“A hell of a lot more than burning up in my tent, yes,” Karlach hadn’t thought that it might cool her off enough for this, though. She was still so, so, scared of seriously burning her.

Soleil stepped closer to her, her eyes flicking from her glowing engine to her lips and then her eyes, her fingers fully intertwining with her’s on the way over. Gods, she was lovely. The water was much warmer the closer Soleil was to Karlach, and she prayed it wasn’t too uncomfortable. Every second more Soleil held her gaze the warmer it got, too, and the brighter she burned.

“Are you okay?” Soleil smiled again.

“Never been better,” Karlach exhaled, and the small vents on her shoulders lit up blue. Soleil watched intently, bringing herself closer yet and studying the light burning from her. The soft blue light reached the irises of her eyes and little wisps of silent flame flickered from her skin above the water. Still, she wasn’t too hot to touch.

-

Soleil found her so beautiful, and even more beautiful the closer she brought herself to fully touching her. She felt ethereal, the moonlight as bright as it can be this time of night with the fireflies slowly dissipating as if to offer them the privacy. Karlach smelled of cedar and leather and the palms of her hands were as rough as such, but her gaze was so soft, and she handled her so gently. Soleil had never experienced the fires of Avernus herself but if they were to surprise her as being anything like her companion she’d consider a visit. 

“Karlach, you’re allowed to touch me, if you’d like,” Soleil spoke, almost against her lips.

Karlach hummed softly in response, her callused hands coming to rest on Soleil’s hips. It was a very welcome heat, intense, but not overwhelming.

She pulled back briefly, “Is this okay?”

“Yes, please,” Soleil moved Karlach’s hands back into place, and her touch was more firm this time. Soleil shivered.

The light in Karlach’s chest grew brighter and then dimmed into the same soft blue in her eyes, dancing in the ripples on the surface of the water between them.

Soleil had been honest about the noise keeping her awake, although not completely. She’d never been a good liar, and she’d been kicking herself in her tent every night that week for chickening out of every opportunity she had to tell Karlach how much she liked her. As a friend, as a companion, yes, but she really really liked her. She couldn’t believe she hadn’t caught on. It was one of her more endearing traits.

It had taken nearly an entire bottle of wine for Soleil to be able to verbalize these feelings to Wyll, who had never asked for them, but who had sat so patiently and listened while the heart of his friend was splayed in front of him, quietly topping their glasses when they were low.

“I’m not afraid of her, or the rejection, or… or of losing her, but she makes me so nervous,” a long sip of wine, “I freeze up every time I talk to her, not even about my feelings, just because she’s talking to me, and she’s so cool, and she trusts me, everything I do or say she trusts me…”

“Do you trust yourself?”

“I… think so?” Soleil hadn’t thought of that, “I don’t know what the right way to go about any of this is.”

“I don’t either,” Wyll shrugged, “We’re taking things one day at a time, and that’s how you should take this.”

Soleil looked down into her cup.

“Yes, I think you should tell her, or show her, or write her a poem or a song or make her a gift,” Wyll leaned forward, “And I can certainly help you with those things, but your heart is here tonight, and whatever your heart’s instinct is I think you should listen.”

Soleil nodded.

“You’ve done a lot for her, your acts of service have not gone unnoticed.”

“You have too.”

“Something tells me this might be different.”

And it might have been, and it might be, and Soleil had convinced herself that she’d been imagining things, that she’d convinced herself that maybe Karlach was being more than friendly to her, when she was really just being friendly.

Maybe Wyll knew something she didn’t. Maybe they’d talked, in the same way she’d talked to Wyll, and maybe he said the same things to Karlach. Maybe she was as nervous as Soleil was, right now, in the hot water, with her strong hands touching her with nothing in between. Nothing in between them but water, and steam, and the soft glow of the engine behind Karlach’s ribs.

“Is this still okay?” Karlach’s hands gently slid up her back, her fingers lingering where Soleil’s flesh dipped over her spine.

A shiver ran through her, the physical contact as well as the warmth being things she hadn’t felt this deprived of until now. She craved it deeply.

Soleil leaned into Karlach, letting Karlach’s leg slip between hers. She raised herself up on her toes. 

-

Karlach had promised herself she wouldn’t act like a desperate freak if her dreams had ever come true like this, if she ever found out that Soleil felt the same way about her. It was taking every ounce of strength she had to not grab her and squeeze her and kiss her and touch her, everywhere, all at the same time. She cared for her deeply and she didn’t want to scare her, but she wasn’t sure Soleil knew what this meant to her right now.

It had been ten years since anyone had touched her, especially like this. Ten years since she’d tried, and ten years since she’d decided it wasn’t worth trying anymore. Either this was some kind of miracle pool, or she’d failed to consider every option. She almost felt stupid, but she couldn’t blame herself. She’d only escaped Avernus months ago.

Karlach sighed as Soleil’s hands ran up her chest to her neck where she held her face, her thumbs running softly over her cheeks. Karlach leaned into her small hand, the cool moisture evaporating from her skin.

and Soleil kissed her.

and Karlach expected a sharp pull away, a wince in pain, but it never came, and instead Soleil pushed into her gently. When she did pull away it was slow, she lingered in the dense heat and smiled sweetly when Karlach was tugged forward by the lingering feeling.

Karlach exhaled a held breath against Soleil’s lips. She was a live wire with excitement, she wanted to grab her and ravish her, if she even remembered how. She’d probably end up scaring Soleil away.

“You're so beautiful, Karlach,” Soleil remarked softly.

She hadn’t scared her away yet, she thought, and there’d been plenty of times she was sure she had.

“Gods, you should see yourself.”

Soleil was soft, mostly unscathed, save for the scar over her nose and the chip in one of her horns. Her hands had also seen some wear since they’d met. Karlach’s tendency to dive head-first into confrontation left her skin littered with scars, something she never fully disliked, but was much more aware of now that she occasionally caught Soleil’s gaze trailing over them. They sliced through her tattoos and some even formed patterns, reminders of the beasts she’s found herself trapped under.

The way Soleil’s touch paralyzed her, though, she’d never be able to wiggle out of it.

She felt Soleil’s tail curl around her thigh, willing her back in. Karlach held her tighter, still waiting for any sign of a third-degree burn where her hands pressed into her but the water kept them at bay. Soleil was a tough one, she knew, but she hoped she’d tell her if it was ever too much. Karlach wanted to spend a long time with her in this quickly-heating puddle.

-

Soleil hadn’t ever thought about what she’d do after she kissed Karlach, the fantasy in her head had always ended there. The roof of her tent usually became entertainment for the rest of the night, as well as the company of her right hand. She never let it get far enough to where her hopes might get too high, and she was okay depriving herself of the delusion if it meant it would keep her heart from shattering completely. Their game plan to the end of the world wasn’t entirely free of impending danger at every step.

“Can I kiss you again?”

Karlach’s question got stuck in the steam between them. Soleil’s hands fell to Karlach’s chest, hovering over her blue engine, letting the heat seep into her fingers. She could feel the air between them vibrate in its constant whirring and ticking.

Without a word, as if she could have come up with one at all, Soleil nodded briefly and kissed her again.

Karlach’s arms wrapped tightly around her and she leaned into her, so much that Soleil’s feet were pulled from the ground and she drew her legs up to wrap around Karlach. Soleil inhaled the thick steam around them, almost struggling to get enough air in but her head was so clouded with the feeling of Karlach’s hands under the water she paid it little mind. One of Karlach’s hands slid to Soleil’s leg to hold her up, and she tilted her head to not break the kiss. Soleil’s hands came up again, her thumbs brushing Karlach’s cheeks softly. She gently squeezed Karlach’s leg with her tail still coiled twice around it.

Soleil ran her wet hands down Karlach’s neck again, the trail of water quickly drying and she threw her arms over her shoulders, clutching onto her tightly. Karlach moved at a similar speed and crushed her against her, spinning them around so Soleil was backed against the stone wall of the pool.

Karlach broke the kiss to trail hot kisses down Soleil’s neck and collarbones, her hands gliding lower under the water until one hovered between her thighs. She pulled back again when she felt Soleil’s legs tighten around her.

“Karlach, I’m okay, I promise,” Soleil smiled, her chest rising and falling quickly, struggling to take in air in the dense heat.

“You promise to tell me if I hurt you?” Karlach spoke into the shell of her ear.

Soleil rolled her hips forward into Karlach’s hand, “Yes, I promise.”

The direct heat into Soleil’s core was intense. Karlach’s fingertips ran gently over her and slowed down at her clit, rubbing softly over it in small circles, not pressing too hard, treating her with care.

Soleil unraveled into her. Her arms around her relaxed and Karlach held her against the wall with her own weight.

“Gods, soldier…” Karlach breathed. Her strokes were steady and controlled. With a second finger, she ran both over the sides of Soleil’s clit, squeezing it in between while she stroked back and forth.

Soleil matched Karlach’s movements, her hips in perfect time. Her legs trembled every time Karlach ran over her clit. Slowly, Karlach slid her middle finger inside her, and Soleil gasped at the heat, bringing a hand up to the back of Karlach’s neck where her fingers tangled in her hair.

“Yes, my love.”

Karlach softened at the name, a quiet and sweet sound slipping from her lips. Soleil felt her smile against her neck. Kissing her skin gently, Karlach slid another finger inside her, pressing the heel of her hand into Soleil’s clit again.

Soleil ground down on it, Karlach’s fingers inside her warming her thoroughly. Her head fell back as she rocked, pockets of cool air from above breaking through the dense steam and cooling her face. Karlach kissed her throat, letting Soleil grind onto her hand at her own pace, and meeting her in the middle. Slowly, she ran a hand down Soleil’s back and gripped the base of her tail, rubbing her underneath where it met her spine.

Soleil choked, using what strength she had left to lift her head and press her forehead to Karlach’s.

“Karlach,” She gasped, the name on her tongue as hot as the air around them.

“I got you, baby.”

Soleil crumbled at the softness of her words and shook at the roughness of her palm. The hot coil in her stomach tightened, further and further, and before she could utter a word of warning Karlach had kissed quickly down her neck, hovering between her breasts when she lifted Soleil to the edge of the pool and kissed her all the way down to her hips.

Soleil’s head spun at the quickness in the change of position but was pulled back to earth at the feeling of Karlach’s lips inside her thighs, kissing softly toward her. Karlach’s eyes fluttered open to meet Soleil’s and she melted fast, the blue flames flickering off of her and burning in her eyes so much richer than the cool moonlight they were bathed in.

Karlach kissed the soft folds between Soleil’s legs, and she was unable to tear her eyes away. Karlach’s tongue worked over her clit again, sensitive from the way she ground down onto Karlach’s hand moments before. Karlach brought one arm around Soleil’s leg to pull her close, and inched her other up Soleil’s body to softly palm her breast.

The attention, especially at this temperature, was overstimulating and heaven on earth at the same time. The cool air outside of the pool quickly became chilling on her wet skin and her focus shifted entirely to Karlach’s hand on her, and her arm around her leg, and her mouth around her heat. Soleil’s tail involuntarily coiled itself around Karlach’s bicep.

Soleil was quickly brought back to the edge of orgasm, her arms shaking in an attempt to hold her up and her legs spasming under Karlach’s touch. Karlach knew this too, and she sucked hard on Soleil’s clit, her tongue flicking over it slowly.

“Yes, yes…” Soleil exhaled into the sky. Her words seemed to float upwards, no longer trapped by the steam over the water.

Karlach hummed into Soleil, keeping her pace so as to not disrupt the building pressure. Her nails dug into Soleil’s flesh, something neither of them were aware of. Her other hand on Soleil’s breast rolled her nipple in between her fingers, pressing heat into her.

Soleil shook, the tension snapping. Her ears rang, her fingers and toes going numb as Karlach drank in her orgasm, drawing it out of her with her tongue. She lingered here for a long time, savoring the taste of her until Soleil’s breathing had slowed.

After what felt like minutes of rolling hills of ecstasy, Soleil sat back herself back and took Karlach’s face in her hands. Karlach smiled, turning to kiss Soleil’s palm and wrapped her arms around her, pulling her back into the hot water.

Soleil sighed at the sensation again, welcome and warm. Karlach’s hands trailed soft lines up and down her spine and she kissed her forehead, letting Soleil lean into her, supporting her weight.

“Did I burn you?” Karlach asked softly, in a half-joking tone.

Soleil shook her head, humming a no before lifting her head, “I’m okay, I promise.”

“Just okay?”

“I’m… deliriously happy.”

Karlach’s hands squeezed her gently. After a second, she spoke again.

“You can have me, completely, if you’d like,” Karlach spoke softly, her eyes flitting back and forth between Soleil’s eyes and her lips, red and puffy from the heat and roughness of her kiss.

Soleil searched her eyes, still dimly glowing blue from the heat of their exchange, and wondered if they’d gotten any brighter since she’d offered herself like that. Seconds had passed before Soleil nodded and pushed in again, Karlach leaning into her open hand.

“Yes, I would like that,” Soleil smiled, “and you can have me as well.”

“I would really, really, really, like that.”

Soleil felt the surrounding water heat up again and Karlach sunk lower into it, pulling Soleil close and kissing her again. The world was probably ending, the devil was after them and so were multiple different gods. They all still had tadpoles and heavy deals to consider but if everything had come crashing down right at that moment Soleil would be okay with that. 

#afab tav #afab karlach #bg3 #baldurs gate 3 #oneshot #fanfiction #ao3 #reasart #nsft #lemon #do people still post fanfic to tumble !!!!!!!!!!