#autistic ramblings

[potato-potayto]

don’t become the pipelines lunch…

see my vision

#pizza tower #sugary spire #autistic ramblings

[2-kamikou-1]

I feel so bad for wxs miku. how tf are you gonna be the main vsinger for the most autistic group of theatre kids on the planet, like you are the AMBASSADOR of autism, LIVE in the fucking WONDERLAND SEKAI, like OBJECTIVELY most overstimulating sekai, with FOUR FUNCTIONAL EARS, one of those pairs of ears is CAT EARS, and cats hearing is like ~3x better than a humans, so you have like normal hearing PLUS 3x that. HOW are you going to LIVE like that. I hope she has noise cancelling headphones that fit all her ears perfectly

#wxs miku #wonderland sekai #autistic ramblings

[floralcavern]

For years I’ve had a WoF animatic/MAP idea for Anemone with Unleash the Magic that takes place during Arc 2. It would be Whirlpool singing to her (a hallucination/ghost version) and the background singers would be electric eels surrounding her and swimming through the air and it would be Whirlpool singing to her to use her magic for evil and when Twilight starts singing, it’s when Anemone is looking at the knife on the beach and she’s smiling manically, and at the end, when it say “the magic’s what I really want to see” it would be Anemone talking to Darkstalker and “Twilight, no!” would be Turtle throwing her the enchanted stick to escape.

#Wings of Fire #WoF #Anemone WoF #Turtle WoF #Darkstalker #Darkstalker WoF #Whirlpool WoF #MLP #my little pony #Equestria girls #my little pony equestria girls #Autistic ramblings #Hyperfixation

[connoisseur-of-love]

ranting about the 2021 smurfs cartoon

I miss brainy and clumsy’s friendship as it was in the 80s cartoon (and maybe some comics? I don’t vividly remember much from them since we didn’t have any brainy-centric issues) like it was just so cute and interesting and it’s such a same that they took it out of it :(

also, while I’m currently midway between season 2, I would love to see the new girl smurfs village, especially since they canonically moved to a different spot

Some voices aren’t it. No offence to the actors, but I really miss some of the Smurfs having accents in the 80s cartoon that isn’t in the new one (especially painter-real disappointment)

And finally, one postive

I am absolutely in love with brainys and blossom relationship. They are SO CUTE! Love em

#The smurfs #smurfs #Smurfs cartoon #Autistic ramblings

[rural-arms]

Hey, so do you mind if I ask what gun(s) you think *do* fit Jason's personality?

Excellent question!

Edited: Added Pictures

Jason Todd is always seen with a 1911 style handgun, sometimes Glock like, or straight up Generic Handgun number 4.

And for as much as I shit on them, they make sense. 1911s are rugged, good durability (MAH TWO WURLD WARS) and in a decent caliber of .45 ACP. Glocks are also quite rugged, but are much more common and and come in a variety of calibers such as 9x17, 9x19, .45 ACP and .40 S&W.

I will say, both of those are great for Jason, but a personality gun is a bit harder. So, instead of his personality (which is sometimes all over the place) I have decided for ease of myself, to pick some that I believe he would use.

Starting with: Jericho 941 a.k.a The Cowboy Bebop gun

The Jericho 941 is quite similar to his handguns in the Arkham Knight game (mostly the Red Hood DLC) as they have a futuristic look. They are decent in power, great in comfort and usability, and commonly comes in 9x19mm which is a common round in the US.

Next: H&K USP. Or if you like video games, what Gordon Freeman and Lara Croft use

With the USP being H&K, and thus German, you know the durability is high tier (although still prone to failures, cause it's H&K). Accurate, reliable, sorta futuristic (for the time) and comes in common calibers much like a Glock.

For future points: The Maxim 9.

Integrally suppressed 9mm handgun that looks like it came straight out of RoboCop. Not that much to say, other than its very futuristic looking. (I'd also recommend looking at the KARD prototype handgun too as it is quite similar)

A Personal Fav: FN FiveseveN

A handgun designed for the 5.7x28mm round. Futuristic (for the time). The key point of the gun was the caliber, but the caliber is expensive (but being Bruce's adopted son, should have no issues)

And Lastly: The Laugo Alien

VERY futuristic looking, comes in the common 9x19. Comfortable, reliable. But a bit pricey, but again I'm sure he can afford it

There are many other that would fit Jason, but these are a few that I think are good contenders.

#jason todd #guns #red hood #dc #answered ask #autistic ramblings

[darkobssessions]

Social Skills news flash/alert/realisation

Not building rapport or being able to go deeper with someone you just met, or even more crucial, someone you just met and moved in with, has dire consequences on the isolation scale, but also lifelong discrimination and difficulties. It's simply nightmarish to navigate.

And if there are multiple persons in that arrangement, the issue further compounds. There are so many unspoken rules and hidden things that hold certain spaces together, especially spaces that are unsafe to mask in, such as, the public eye, in public, openly to people you just met or have just begun living with, to abusive parents, to a previously undisclosed monster you are dating, to government officials.

What spell are you under?

I do not want to be willingly vulnerable but masking is exhausting, masking is taxing I want to be free to speak my mind, to truly speak my mind Most people do not understand my words when I unleash on the real unmasked talk of what I feel and sense, real dreams, real visions, so much high talk that people tune out and can't listen, I've been asked to change the subject so so many times, been told that was a cool party trick can we get back to the party?

Others have stood awestruck asked me to slow down, save it for later, possibly keep it a bit more quiet because I'm getting excitable and definitely not loud enough for the neighbours to hear please.

I keep it quiet and I keep it small.

But the world's a stage And I'm at the age where I was 28 for 2 years, our mind just decided I was 28 for 2 years and I realised I'm turning 30 this year I'm at the cusp of luminance But that neccessitates that I have to die the darkest deaths and bleed so loud and strong and for long. this life is too sweet, too fleeting, too deep, too meaningful, to meaningless, cruel and hard and dark and bitter and unfair, sweet and breezy and a whole fucking ride

you've loved, you've lost you've begged, you've prayed you've bled, you've played, you've trusted and got busted

sometimes replaying an entire loop your life is cycles and you can feel it and observe as it does that, and no matter how hard you try, you can't get out of that cycle they don't give you conventional 'medicine' and by medicine i mean wisdom

they have got medicine for you, but I'm afraid the only way that it is a cure is by means of eradicating your sensation of it being an endless cycle or simulation or worse and deeper and darker, and bolder and bigger and brighter- all the same you;ve got an endless antenna unto that world, so you don't take the pills.

It's just something that numbs. And dealing with all that numbness dumbs down, and I use dumb in the same way dampen, for instance something cushioning a heavy flow, or suppressing the sound from an instrument. I've been called dumb and insinuated stupid for quite some time now. Whereas before there was just dumb awe at what I had to say, or discomfort, now, I receive all kinds of responses ranging from sheer pity to shocking loss of human decency and manners.

When you get yelled at by a 40 year old woman on her property in the jungle and she's German American and you're Palestinian-Syrian/American and she's trying to make you feel like a 5 year old, in fron of other volunteers, then you don't really feel 5 years old, you feel very affronted that is what passes for social engagement as an adult with the world as an autistic woman, worse off than the men for many objective reasons like being foreign, naive in more specific and dangerous ways, unlikley to express distress or alert anybody to being afraid or unwilling to engage with something, more likely to hide the results of such ecounters gone wrong, more likely to suffer in silence and act out in more nad more extreme ways, but always directed at herself. This individual didn't get the support that she needed to navigate the world in a way that worked. She was sheltered, she was abused and she had very little emotional support and guidance. She absorbed everything from her environment from the moment of her conception, taking in the milky waves of discord and distress and abuse, weaving a picture of a vessel to take her body side. She succeeded to survive the next 29 years and 5 months and 13 days.

i will blame myself too for driving frantically to my intro to pole class with an amazing instructor I met last time who made me feel seen and supported and was able to guide me through different exercises. and also allowed me the space to experiment, not overcautioning me often about things to know or do as a beginner. Dreading leaving the house well in advance of the day of, and finally having a breakdown the day it arrived. Too tired, too foggy, too spaced out, too apathetic and numb and don't care, and please no more of that, no more of anything please, just nothing, nothing more, kindly no, no sir, not today, not anymore, not this, not now, JUST ABOUT ENOUGH I SAID.

And proceeded to slap on a sizeable amount of more of that stuff for myself by masking and pretending and generally prancing around unable to be seen by individuals that very much give me the vibe of we will be onto you if you tell us all your secrets but a. they very infrequently express any interest in what it is I am saying, making me feel like just trailing off into nothingess, they do not ask any follow up questions about statments I make in regards to be autistic or listing out of any difficulties, I hear 'you're fine' a lot and it is starting to make my head hurt a little. Like actually, no I'm not. Can we stop pretending, and also it's because I can't be my damn self in this room without making an energetic cringe the size of a continent My whole solo universe is full of these instances and I am at a loss what my interactions are doing to the people around me that puts up such a wall or parades ignorance about opics which, well, that might be the point actually. Not knowing about these things and thus projecting their own ideas or misconceptions? Anyway the whole thing is just a mess because it's not leading to infantilisation (which would be worse) but still nobody is being blunt and direct about their feelings and what they mean and what they're saying. I want this thing to change because, ever tired of the insect in a glass phenomena, want to step through the looking glass, part the veil and come out onto the stage to say my piece because I swear, that vision has been with me since time immemorial. The one I have and the other one closely related depict a very ecstatic dance of life upon a stage facing all forebearers and factions and creator and created observing the life of the one, wi7da, who unfurled herself for all of time so that she may experience what each synapse feels as it connects with another, a divsion so expansive she could find herself widely across it in many different ways and with many different people. Many different people at once, and I mean in the feeling of oneness with all of the cosmos to tell all these stories takes time, but she dances in ecstasy as if all that exists for her is one endless moment.

Time to step out soon, and maybe now to aid in that I'll actually deliver the nugget of information I promised at the beginning of this whole thing. The social skill that I could certainly use more of and am so glad I have just learned about is called the hello good morning good night trick. Without the overforced hellos and how are yous the barista certainly feels that you are not normal and feels taken advantage of (*courtesy of my sister who I am pretty didn't read that right either. I mean she says she felt embarrased being out with me so that's another development in the younger sibling department who's been living her own life for the last 6 years and also my best friend and biggest supporter. not living together and me realising about my autism about 2 years ago, and subsequently unmasking, is making me incomprehensible to her I'm afraid, and this is deep sarcasm. She actually told me that she saw the exact moment the barista shut down and she shot her a knowing glance to as if to say, yeah, I'm over here with stupid, I know how you feel and I apologse for the inconvenience. That shit stung, there's not sugarcoating that!). So with even more specificity, within the US there is a strong friendliness, greetings and customary how are yous culture. If you don't say those generally in the public, you are viewed as much more ostile. Haven't got the statistic for you right now, but I am sure it exists.

In what could be closer relationships, like people you just move in with, if they are also from the place you have just moved to, and even if they are not, it just depends on how tight knit their group, what pressures they are under or are exerting and whether or not they are interested. I've found here, things are prevented from going deeper by something as simple as you not being able to gather that every night at a certain time, obviously, it is bedtime. And they disappear on and up to their rooms. The day ends, days begin, people come in from places, they have routines too. If you don't ask about them or greet them good morning, or wish them a good night, they simply either think you are unfriendly or never get the opirtunity to go deeper with you. The question of whether they even want to go deeper is yet to be decided, it is a no as it stands now. I don't know that anything ever makes me close to my true self except standing before a room and teaching and being in the intimate space of the divine things are getting quite tedious I am awaiting my chariot outside the front door It's said in jest but seriously, please, where is the uplevel button that allows me to drive and navigate and succeed and arrive and engage and manage and function well in such a place? I think I don't want to fnction INSIDE of it.

I say I want to create a new one.

#personal #personal writing #memoir #autobiography #blog #journal entry #autistic #autistic ramblings #processing #writing #self regulating #letting my words speak #soothing my emotions #free flow #telling my story #unleashing my glory #taking you all with me #on a journey #LOVE MY FOLLOWERS

[wasabi-gumdrop]

local ladies man’s signature move totally useless against autistic monster enthusiast. more on Kabru’s fumble era at 6

#i’ve seen so many interpretations of that 1 hr freeze frame of Kabru’s smile in ep 16 #he’s meeting his long time crush of course he’s trying to charm him #Kabru so obviously has a big fat giant crush on Laios #like atp in the story he’s tried to talk to him and get his attention so many times agjdjajdj #Laios is the human rubix cube he’s been searching for his entire life #everyone else is almost too easy for Kabru to pin down #Laios on the other hand … a treasure trove of autistic mystery #Kabru is so locked in #Kabru used signature move: charming smile #Laios: no effect! #there’s something so beautiful about the popular pretty boy entering his fumble era when his one true love turns out to be autistic #labru #laios touden #kabru of utaya #dungeon meshi #delicious in dungeon #wasabi rambles #seen so many clock that smile as nefarious and machiavellian #baby no Kabru is just dialing the charm up to 100 and what we’re all feeling is second hand embarrassment LMAO

[lightning-system]

As a medium/lower support needs autistic who works with young higher support needs autistic:

We all matter. We all have the same diagnosis. We all deserve to be treated with dignity and respect.

But we are not the same.

I can mask and might be seen as 'odd' or 'weird' in public. The students I work with are seen as 'dangerous' and 'practically little kids'.

I can go to university and work with accommodations. The students I work with likely will never live independently and a few might find jobs that support them but still pay them less than an abled worker.

I have full control of my finances. The students I work with aren't allowed to make independent financial decisions, even if capable.

If I say 'no,' I'm making a choice. The students I work with can't say 'no' without being labeled as defiant and difficult.

I can feed myself, bathe myself, and take care of myself with extreme challenges. The students I work with are unable to take care of themselves without high levels of support/one on one support.

I had an IEP in high school but was mainstreamed in classes. The students I work with take separate classes and some rarely get to interact with their abled peers.

Our experiences are fundamentally different. Higher support needs autistics will experience a specific type of ableism I never will, and can never fully understand.

Lower support needs autistics need to stop saying we understand what higher support needs autistics are going through and then present autism as only being disabling because of society/lack of acceptance because that is dangerous. We need to stop saying every autistic person is capable of everything if given the right support because that leaves out huge parts of our community who will never be able to do certain things, regardless of support.

We are worthy of existence regardless of our abilities.

Autism is a spectrum. It is not the same for every autistic person. Autism acceptance and advocacy has to come with accepting, acknowledging, and listening to our higher support needs peers.

#disabled #disability #actually autistic #autism #low support needs #medium support needs #high support needs #autistic pride #advocacy #acceptance #lightning rambles #important

[modeus-the-unbound]

*Crushes your skull while breasting boobily*

#modeus's autistic ramblings #humor #dungeon meshi #falin touden

[potato-potayto]

the fact this used to be a misconception has opened my eyes to a whole new world of yuri i’m not ready for

#taranza #kirby #autistic ramblings #not posting this on my kirby anime blog cause this isn’t related to the anime

[the-messy-artist]

Has this been done yet

#actually autistic #disabled #disability #neurological problems #actually adhd #actually did #im just fucked #rambling from the berry bush

[theradicalace]

i don’t know why my brain works this way

#ace rambles #actuallyautistic #actually autistic #special interests #neurodivergent #this isn't about anything specific i have literally done this my entire life with every interest i have ever had #1k #5k #posts i have notifications blocked for #10k #i'm so so sick of this post guys #15k #20k #congrats! this sucks #25k

[blackplaaague]

Can people stop treating autism like some horrible illness and start realizing that most autistic kids aren't suffering because they're autistic, but because they're bullied not only by peers, but parents? If you want to woobify us autistic people, imagine how sad it makes you feel to have your own mom as your first bully because sometimes loud sounds are too much for you. The problem isn't us, it's the world we live in not caring to accommodate us. Speaking as a person who was kicked off an "inclusive" team for "lack of communication and disability." I had one time I couldn't talk because I'm verbalflux.

They knew that.

Inclusive, my ass.

(This is just my experience, autism is a spectrum, don't kill me if you've had a different experience, rather, I'd like to hear about it!)

#autism #autistic #neurodivergent #actually autistic #neurodiversity #bp rambles #tw: abelism

[caterpillarinacave]

You know what, maybe its just because I'm autistic, but it really baffles me how growing up autistic people are so firmly shamed for happy stimming.

Like to be so happy you can't do anything but move? Can't help but hum, or squeal, or flap? To be momentarily blinded by sheer happiness? So much happiness that youre ever rushing mind shortcircuts into nothing but feeling? How is that anything but wonderful?

How could you witness such a thing, such true emotion and tell them that they're being cringey and weird? How can you look at the person in front of you overflowing with joy, and tell them they need to knock it off, and sit still like a normal person? How can you see someone light up in such a sincerely human way, making their merriment visible to the world, practically made of pure happiness and tell them to stop?

How can be shown someones soul and say they should hide it away?

#🐛 rambles #filled with constant embarassment over happy stimming but like my lord its such a nice thing think about it #shitposting #autism #actually autistic #asd #stimming #neurodivergent #happy stimming #actually autism

[sojourner-between-worlds]

Even if you, personally, don't hate Discord's new UI, I am begging ya'll to still send them the following feedback:

"The changes made to Dark Mode are an accessibility issue due to the lack of a low contrast option for those who need it."

The previous dark gray was never ideal, tbh, but it was still worlds better than what we have now. As someone who can feasibly get by with the new dark mode but vastly prefers low contrast, and as someone who knows people who do need low contrast -- please tell them about this problem.

#discord #its all terrible but most of it i can get over #this i will not #its a problem and they NEED TO KNOW its a problem #disability #autism #autistic #random ramblings #PLEASE mind me #disability visibility #disability advocacy #idk what all to tag this with but hopefully thatll at least get it seen a little bit

[soopertiddies]

My heart breaks for 9-year-old autistic me who thought everyone shared my special interest, so I would bring an entire pile of books about natural disasters, only to have the pages of my books ripped out. 

#3rd grade was rough for me #autistic community #autistic ramblings