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wtftarot · 2 months

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PAC: The Sun

The Sun stands as the counterpart to the Moon. Representing clarity, the Sun leaves nothing in shadow. It speaks of blessings and growth. What do you need to learn from the Sun today? Let's fuck around and find out.

As always this reading is meant for entertainment purposes only and is not a substitute for professional advice in any way. Remember, use common sense, and don't be a dumbass.

Masterlist

Pick the Sunflowers, the Kid or the Horse and head on to your reading.

The Sunflowers page cups Rx, Justice, 7 swords, the Fool, three cups, the hierophant Rx, temperance rx

A lot of things are lookin hazy for y'all, huh group one? The energy here is super interesting. First, y'all are entering an era that will redefine what you think it means to have a balanced life. You'll figure out what it means for you specifically. Which is awesome but that's not the focal point of your reading. There's something here that feels very sneaky, not in a harmful sorta way, more like a heist. It's like you're heisting yourself back. I fuckin love that. I think y'all may have lost yourself or a part of yourself somewhere along the way. The cards aren't saying how or why, which I feel is significant. While whatever happened had its impact, it's so much less important than this, than you, finding yourself again. Now you're scheming and plotting ways to get yourself back and it's beautiful. There's so much excitement and joy here. You may still have to hide them because of circumstances outside of your control but you're not burying them. You should feel absofuckinlutly no shame about it, fyi. You had to adapt, that's all. Now though, you are plotting and planning yourself towards a life that you don't have to adapt yourself to. The clarity you're getting is clarity of self. Things in your life feel a little hazy and off because they kinda are. You only "fit" your life as it is now because you lost those parts of yourself. Things were always 'off'. You edited yourself to what the situation called for. So, as you find yourself, you won't 'fit' the roles in life you used to. You're stepping into a life that gets you. A life where those parts of you are celebrated. Moving forward you may not get many satisfactory answers from sources outside of yourself on what to do. That's cause this is a time where you are creating the answers. You may find yourself doing a lot of inner-child work in the next few months. Deconstructing outdated teachings, or just seeing through bullshit you once thought to be true. Your awareness of when you are or are not acting in favor of your true self is being heightened. Now, this all feels like the inner-shift that has to happen before the external changes. So, you may wanna seek out some alone time or journal your thoughts cause I'm willing to bet you'll be having some epiphanies or ah-ha moments. This is awesome, babe. It's gonna be beautiful to see.

random ass vibes: Cats, 8,888, the wizard of oz, My Chemical Romance, shout out to all y'all with adhd/autism. religious upbringing? Red, "you can't buy happiness- steal it", goldenrod, something about acrylic nails? first time getting them? owls.

The Kid

The Sun rx, Nine of Swords Rx, Four of Cups Rx, Page of Wands, Knight of Cups, Eight of Wands Rx, Nine of Wands Rx, King of Swords Rx

This reading was interesting as hell to do. The short version is: Y'all are intuitive, you're just not letting yourselves simply BE intuitive. You try to force things or second-guess others and it's fucking you over.

There is a message that you may be spending too much on different divination tools when you don't need them. This reading is cool and frustrating. I had to walk away from your cards because every time I tried to read them, the message was muddled and contradicting itself? I'm writing this a day later because now that I'm not trying to force it, it's flowing like the goddamn Mississippi. I didn't even plan to get back to your reading yet. It's like 6,7 am? I was just drinking my coffee and the reading became clear. Which is the whole ass point of your reading. Everyone has different intuitive psychic skills and different skill levels but if y'all chose this group? Y'all are pretty fuckin psychic. Or you could be if you got over some self-doubt and shit. When I said you're not letting yourselves be intuitive, I mean you may be relying too much on divination tools and signs instead of your intuition. You can strengthen your intuitive gifts, and learn to interpret them more accurately but you can't force it. It seems like you've become so focused on trying to pick up on things psychically, that you're not even living in the moment anymore. Which leads us to the other side of this coin. When you're determined to know and see more when there's nothing there, you can start to take your anxieties for hits cause they're the only thing you got. It's sorta like how when you're looking into a dark space, and you start seeing things that ain't there. Which understandably makes you freaked out, then when the anxieties don't come true you doubt yourself cause your "intuition" was wrong. Truth is not everything is a sign or a hit. Sometimes a number's just a number and a bird's just a bird. A bad feeling in your gut is just your gut feeling bad. Truth also is sometimes true psychic hits are kinda dumb, most of the hits I get regularly are just my cat needing something. It's okay if your intuition is just when produce is on sale. You ARE psychic. You're also human. All of this is confusing and that's okay. We're always confused until we figure things out. This all came out with the Sun in reverse because y'all expect your intuition to be clear the way your other senses are clear. You're looking outside of yourself for something that dwells inside of you. The advice here is to learn to trust your inner instincts. I keep hearing "Play psychic games". Scry out what animals you're going to see the next day. Try to intuit what suit a card is before you turn it over. Being psychic isn't (always) foreshadowing doom, it can be super fun. Try to get readings on non-serious topics. Let your intuition flow and play.

y'all have no random ass vibes because you need to stop relying on external confirmation of your intuition.

The Horse

This reading may be triggering, I'm not sure if feelings of not deserving love are a trigger but just to be safe. If you struggle with depression, anxiety, or the like please seek professional help. I'm just a chick with a computer and a deck of cards. Remember, don't do anything to compromise your safety.

I took some time between readings, and leading up to your reading horses kept popping up everywhere. I knew this reading would be different. I did pull some cards, but they feel unnecessary because y'all's guides are just talking to me. Why are y'all so convinced you won't get a happy ending? Mind out of the gutter, please. Thank you. You seem to be utterly convinced that you will never have a solid, safe, joyful life? "None of that is for me" is what I keep hearing. It's like there is one way to be happy, one sort of life that leads to happiness, and if you do not conform to that you're just doomed to die alone in squalor? There's this energy of I cannot do things my way and be happy. I can't be myself and loved. I just heard " I don't get to.." As in I don't get to be myself. I don't get to be loved. I don't know who made you feel that way but they better fucking hope I never see them. Or better yet, hope that future you never meets them. Cause sweetie, this reading? It's about your comeback. And HOLY FUCK YALL THIS WILL BE A HELL OF A COMEBACK. There's this overwhelming feeling of happy, unbridled defiance rearing its head in you. If you haven't felt it yet, you will soon babe don't worry. This may just be a heads-up. Defiance in the face of every fucking thing that makes you feel like you'll never get what you want. SPITE. That's what yall are embracing. I FUCKING LOVE THIS ENERGY YALL. SPITE IS MY ENTIRE LIFE PHILOSOPHY. This may be sort of a "villain era" for you. You're gonna be spitting in the face of everything that made you feel like you'd never be enough. YOU ARE ENOUGH. I want to be clear, you're not going to wake up and suddenly be immune to all the bullshit you've been told. You are however going to wake up and decide to live in defiance of what people have told you. That's why it'll feel sort of villainous, you may not feel like you deserve happiness (yet, give it time). BUT is 'deserving" it going to stop you? HELL NO! This is giving happiness is the best revenge. Those fuckers saying you can't be you and loved? They're gonna have to sit and WATCH YOU. And you get the pleasure of shoving your success, your happiness DOWN THIER FUCKING THROATS. Sometimes, you have to move towards things before you feel deserving or ready, so you can learn to feel deserving and ready. It's gonna take some work and strategizing, (y'all may wanna chat with some of the people in group one) I am so fucking pumped for y'all. If y'all don't feel this energy yet, you will soon I promise. In the meantime, maybe make a happy-upbeat revenge/spite playlist. Cause above all, this is about being HAPPY.

Random ass vibes: Danger Days, snakes, cats, 666, y'all may wanna look up Hopepunk, zombies,

#tarot reading #tarot #divination #tarot community #tarot cards #pick a card reading #pick a card #pick a pile #wtftarot #the sun

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that-wizard-oki · 20 days

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Autism brain go brrrrrrr: In the way that the game play in Wizard101 functions so that when a Wizard/creature/thing "dies" or is defeated upon their health being depleted, I like the idea that, in a "real world" Spiral Universe, what determines the "defeat" of an opponent in a duel is when an opponents Mana drops too low OR is completely exhausted of it.

Obviously Mana is needed to cast spells in a duel, but I also like the idea that a Wizard or most living things/creatures in the Spiral would need like, a "baseline" amount of Mana within themselves to properly thrive- so, when a Wizard runs their Mana Low in battle, they are unable to conjure more spells, but they can be at risk physically. Hence how dueling CAN be lethal, but does not have to be.

Part of this idea comes from how the player character, upon defeat, will appear unconscious, but is not truly "dead" by any means.

Also, in terms of "dueling etiquette" I think that either a set amount of "rounds" or like, respecting that reaching a certain mana threshold equates to you loosing is what the "modern standard" would be across the Spiral. Think this helps explain why The Wizard usually "wins" against enemies in some battles, but then can "kill" other enemies during other fights.

Additionally, I like to think that for some creatures (or maybe even some Wizards, too) they cannot fully "run out" of Mana- that their existence/essence is what helps mana & magic "flow" in and around the Spiral, producing magic/mana/wips around them, etc. In my mind, this might apply to the Titans, Bartlebey/Rave/Spider, and the like. They can still experience the woes of being critically low on Mana, but their biology/essence is functionally a SOURCE of mana/energy, so cannot "burn out".

Mana/Magic is ever flowing throughout the Spiral, and will feed and react to the living things that feed & energize it- MUCH like the root system in an ecosystem.

#wizard101 #oki says a thing #oki's theories #OHHH im so crazy. i have ideas. as well as thoughts. LKFJskdfj

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elasticitymudflap · 5 months

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If Betty returns in season two, what kind of plot lines and character arcs would you like to see for her? Which characters do you want to see her interact with?

oh man. okay buckle up because you are about to endure my full frontal autism.

first you're going to have to go into this post knowing that i am insane about betty grof. i am aware of this. but they also called me crazy back in 2012 when i said simon and betty probably loved each other very much despite the fact she disappeared, and that she was probably a huge chaotic badass, AND I WAS RIGHT so.

all of this aside, here are a couple things i think would be epic and sexy of them to address:

~betty's past~

GIRL WHY ARE YOU LIKE THIS.

no, seriously. i hate that the cut content from the storyboards revealed so much about her that didn't make the final 'jerry' cut. betty is passionate, intense, and liked simon's work because he was this weird little guy who proudly had all these "out there" theories. she even stated that "ancient magic" was once her major, so it's no fucking wonder she was so jazzed to find the one other guy who studied and believed in the strange things she did.

how did betty come to have these strange beliefs, and to the point of pursuing it in fucking grad school? was she just always like this? did her interests and beliefs put her at odds with others when she was growing up, little miss dig-her-way-down-to-the-devil, and that's part of the reason she wanted all the more to support simon?

reading that scene in temple of mars where magic betty laments "what remains" of her original self after spending so long dedicated to simon, even if you take into account the way MMS is warping her perspectives and cranking her obsessive tendencies to 11, i find it hard to believe betty didn't grow up with some kind of instability or trauma that made her more prone to throw herself completely at someone who showed her genuine love and kindness. this isn't necessarily a fault on simon's part, he probably didn't even clock it because he was so caught up with trying not to fuck things up with her (he's got his own issues). but it definitely seems like this is something deeply coded into her being, especially when you consider she was willing to leave everything she knew behind in an instant for him.

and i NEED to know more about the wacky shit she was up to in ooo, before and after becoming magic betty. did she ever go to wizard city? did other wizards even know about her? what does she think about her time as magic betty? moreover, how the hell did king man even get betty to agree to his weird idea of cognitive behavioural therapy?? how did she actually go from literally willing to kill herself via time travel to actually accepting that she needed help getting over simon?? did prismo and the cosmic owl get involved?? what is their connection to king man and mars anyway, i mean we know grob gob glob grod hung out with them?? do you think betty knew at any point about simon's head holding the fionna and cake universe?? SO MANY QUESTIONS RAAARRGHGHHGHH

also, not to get super sappy, but i want to see the enchiridion expedition from her perspective!! i want to see her progression from 'hell yeah im going on an adventure with that guy whose research i admire' to 'oh my god i love his stupid ass help????'.

~betty's guilt (feat. regrets)~

i don't care what the alternate bus stop scene said, you will never convince me betty grof has "no regrets". i think she has 'no regrets' in terms of loving simon, and she would never want him to think that she regrets their relationship because of what it "did" to her (turned her into a kaiju). i think this scene was betty trying to give simon a modicum of closure by reassuring him of that fact, and trying to help him reckon with the fact that there's no going back and changing how things ended up for the two of them; from here on out they can only move forward.

that being said, we know that betty will often push simon into doing things she thinks are best for him, whether he wants these things or not, such as not getting held up by snakes or not dying. she's a quick thinker and a risk taker who doesn't like looking at the 'big picture', and these are things she's probably very aware about herself.

i think, in the 12 years that they were apart, betty probably had a lot of time to reflect on her decisions after the crown came into their lives. how her hubris in trying to study magic ended up in her becoming "magic betty", how magic betty nearly ended/condoned the end of the world multiple times, how she ultimately did cure simon but almost killed him in the process. most of all, you cannot convince me betty wouldn't agonize over how her split-second decision to jump into the future affected simon. you really think betty fucking grof would've have been totally unaffected by the revelation that simon spent nearly ten human lifetimes agonizing over driving her away?

in her last interaction with him, magic betty's recklessness cured them... only to then be grotesquely crushed to death inside of golb. but he didn't get upset with her, he didn't panic, he didn't even fight it, he just... gave in. there's this air of acceptance to him, an acceptance that comes after prolonged and complicated grief, that i'd argue, wasn't the culmination of being cured, but the culmination of his long and painful battle over losing her; he was content to die as long as he was with her. that must have been... really something for her to mull over.

i could easily see her developing a bit of a complex over it. i think it would be fascinating to see a betty who now, after all the dust as settled, has looked at their history and concluded that she was the common denominator in all of this, that she is bad for simon, that in a way she is a "curse" to him. and that it would be the perfect justification for her staying away from him all these years, thinking without her influence he could finally move on from her and live the rest of his human life happily with his new magic future friends.

i don't think betty has necessarily "moved on" from simon, i think she still loves him dearly... but as i said, thoroughly convinced she'll only damage him further if she keeps trying to pursue him, and that simon's breakdown during season 1 was only more evidence to that fact.

i think she's trying to lead him to get over her 'for his own good', and that she's purposefully being vague and simplifying conclusions about their relationship so he doesn't try to fight her on it like he always does when she makes these huge decisions for them. she's not bringing any of the stuff she actually regrets up with him because only betty sees it as a problem. simon is so enamoured with her he probably wouldn't even entertain the possibility that she had negative effect on him, but he would believe the reverse in a heartbeat.

this isn't me saying they're ""toxic"" at all, i'm saying that these are two very damaged people who would benefit from multiple types of therapy. and that, as they are, they currently are more likely to keep going in loops with unhealthy behaviours and blaming themselves ad infinitum rather than try to reckon with how they can change, and how it is a problem that they'll always do it for the other, but never for themselves.

even if all of my above ramblings turn out to be bunk: betty grof needs some kind of therapy for her pre-existing self sacrificial tendencies and self worth issues, a space for her to process and work through all of the things that happened to her in ooo, couple's counselling, and the biggest blunt known to man.

you might be wondering "emery, why are you talking about her like she isn't beyond such things? she's golb now, the embodiment of chaos! her ""arc"" is over."

~golbetty conspiracy theory time~

i'm not entirely convinced betty is golbetty as we've come to understand her. i stand by this with my crumbs of a conspiracy theory in that when simon first did the ritual, it was ORIGINAL golb's face that flashed over the scene (not golbetty or even the statue's face), and how golbetty seemed to transform back into Golb Classic after she blew simon away into the void. there's also this weird thing where golbetty had these holes or rips on her leg when she rotated; i thought it was an animation error but then it was also in the storyboards so idk what to believe...

plus the boards ive seen seem to only refer to them as "GOLB", never 'GOLBetty', which i just find... interesting

and i keep thinking about simon info-dumping about golb to betty in the 'come along with me' flashback and the specific wording that was used: "imagine if we could somehow harness all that dank energy..." and then comparing it to the specific wording of betty's wish "... however it has to happen, I wish for the power to keep Simon safe"

there's a couple lines in 'you forgot your floaties' regarding betty's work before becoming magic betty that i feel often get overlooked, one being how tiny manticore describes the situation as "she thinks she can save her BF, Simon, by finding the source of magic," and in betty's own words: "studying [magic madness and sadness] could lead me to their underlying cause, and then I'll control the forces that hold sway over Simon"

i've always wondered if part of the reason betty's wishes to "banish golb from this world/for golb to disappear" didn't work was not just because they didn't tap into her heart's deepest wish (keeping simon safe), but because a wish like that would also require some kind of fundamental change to the laws of the universe first in order for it to work. magic betty even references golb as "the most powerful force in the universe," so how would the crown ever hope to compete with that? according the ancient candy elemental, wish magic has the potential to cause "irreversible damage to the very structure of existence". maybe the crown itself couldn't banish golb with a simple wish, but it could restructure the world to create someone who was powerful enough to control even golb, if only it were structured through the correct wishing language.

and it would make total sense for betty to become that person.

i've been thinking about the way the candy elemental tries to warn evergreen from using the crown: "this wish may see things in you you cannot see yourself, can you truly say you know your heart's truest desire?"

i wonder if there may have been two elements to betty's wish, and the part of it that betty "didn't see in herself" was her worded in the language of "power"; betty's desire to gain control over forces of the universe no human could ever hope to fight against, let alone win.

she spent her human life fascinated by ancient magic, fighting to get her's and simon's work recognized as valid and worthwhile. then, she's suddenly in the future, fighting to stop simon from dying, physically fighting at times, and fighting to find a way to gain control over these "forces" that held him prisoner. she essentially is fighting to become the conqueror of magic, madness, and sadness... and she fails, becomes a victim of it. and it all goes downhill from there, the loss of control over herself, over her mind, over her goals, yet the most 'betty' thing about her is that she's still fighting, albeit a bit crooked and to the detriment of all else. in the end, she's even fighting with herself, fighting to remember who she even is without the fight, not even sure if that person exists anymore.

and then she's freed, suddenly, from the confines of MMS to the literal confines of a quickly shrinking prison. when you watch the two of them in that scene, she isn't fighting to escape the same way finn is literally fighting the wall, but you can tell she's not giving up. part of her is still fighting to think of a way out, even when it feels like there's absolutely no hope left.

her desire "for the power" could mean, in a sense, to have the ability to be in control of all that she couldn't at one time or another: time, fate, magic, life, death, chaos... but this was articulated through her love for simon, because it's the only way she probably even recognizes it within herself.

this is why i don't entirely think betty and golb are fused, or that betty is solely "golbetty". i think being "fused" with no possibility of escape would be antithetical to the language and possible wider implications of her wish. this is why i think she's something above even golb, like a being with the ability to possess/harness the power of other deities. and i think she does this specifically in scenarios where simon is in immediate danger and she needs to control them or harness their power in order to protect him.

i'm ready to be proven wrong, and i probably will be. still, i rotate these thoughts in my head at a dangerous velocity, and none of you can stop me.

~ok i'm done ill stop being insane now (lying)~

so to... actually answer your question, i REALLY want betty to meet fionna and cake, because it sounds to me like they remind simon a lot of her. i would just love to see the absolute fucking tornado they'd be when put in a room together.

also, obviously first and foremost, I NEED BETTY TO TALK TO MARCELINE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! PLEASE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

anyway, as far as season 2 goes, something is definitely up with prismo. and since he's guardian/creator of multiverse entities, who the fuck knows what that means for the fabric of existence if he's glitching out.

all im saying is, i wouldn't be surprised if our main trio end up having to save the multiverse and have to do so with help from other... entities. bettities, even. (hehe. bettity)

#here i am; 27 and writing 7 page essays about betty grof #just as nature intended

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strange-aether · 10 months

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Worlds Beyond Number is just... god it is just hitting emotionally. Not the kind of thing where I’m inconsolably weeping. At least, not yet. Give it time (you should have SEEN me when I was listening to the TAZ Balance finale for the first time, there were actual snot bubbles).

Right now The Wizard, the Witch and the Wild One is just... tugging hard at my heartstrings, and I’m only on episode 6. These are three players who are so deeply invested in the story they’re telling, and aren’t afraid to go to messy and complicated places with their characters, and then on top of that a DM who is obviously just a master of his craft.

I mean, Ame and Suvi’s friendship? How their time apart changed things, and changed their values and it’s not as easy as it was when they were kids because kids can just... be friends without so much emotional baggage? Oof, man. The friction between them is giving “I care so much about this person, and we have both changed so much and it feels like we might be growing apart but I am determined to hold on tight anyway because of how much I care” and that just... oof. That’s intensely relatable, and I think it’s not an uncommon experience. The way that it’s played, though! Man! Because it’s like- you feel it, but it’s cathartic.

And Eursulon... ohhh the gifted-kid burnout vibes. Honestly I get big autism energy from Eursulon as well. That feeling of being in the wrong world, or being out of place? That’s a sentiment so many autistic people have, including myself, and that is Eursulon’s story in a very literal sense. His glamour can also be likened to autistic masking, honestly. “I need to put on this other persona to move through the world safely” is uh... oof, again. That’s too relatable to my own life. And his reaction to his friends showing up to that play? That just absolutely shattered my heart, so that’s gone now.

Anyway if you’re looking for a piece of media that will make you feel like you just need to lie down on the floor for a little bit, I highly recommend it. It may not be to your tastes if you’re into actual play for the mechanics and dice rolls and math but not the narrative. This one’s more narrative focused, and that’s what I’m into.

#worlds beyond number #the wizard the witch and the wild one

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weeb-polls-with-pip · 7 months

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Autistic Anime Girls Group 2 Round 2 Match 16

SUBMISSION PROPAGANDA:

Anisphia -

"The two big points in Anisphia's favor here are her hyperfixation on magic and her disregard for social norms.

Anis is unable to use magic. The people around her don't see this as unusual, but they do think her obsession with magic is. She thinks magic is awesome (it's magic, you know? What do you mean no?), and spends every free moment inventing magic items that she can use, ranging from magic swords to a flying broom.

It's also worth noting that Anisphia is, technically, a princess. For the most part, she does not act like it, earning the nickname Princess Peculiar. After [spoilers], a great deal of pressure is put on her to become the next queen, and she starts trying to act up, but until [spoilers], she is willing to hunt monsters at night and bring their bloody heads back to the castle. She's capable of adopting royal etiquette, but finds it tiring.

Since this is Tumblr, I should probably also point out that she is in lesbians with a contrasting autistic girl, Euphyllia Magenta, the genius young lady from the title.

Marcille -

"Dungeon Meshi is a manga about autism that just so happens to also have monsters and cooking.

On a surface level, Marcille seems like the most 'normal' one in the main group, she's often playing the straight man role in jokes and objects to their crazier plans. But its all just masking yall. She is a very introspective and anxious person, she spends a lot of time silently worrying about things like mortality and social rules. So whenever she's freaking out about people cooking monsters, she doesn't actually have any personal objections to it, she's just watching people break the rules she has fixated on and is unsure what to do about it. Likewise, she fell in love with her girlfriend after watching her openly being a weirdo who scampers around in the wilderness to look for cool bugs.

And yet, for all of her worrying about fitting in, she never quite manages it. At the wizard school she was seen as a weirdo half-elf who does unusual experiments and gets too excited. Over the course of the manga, she travels in an adventuring party with a few other openly autistic people (and a chronically divorced hobbit), and she slowly opens up to them over time and becomes more okay with the idea of coming across as weird.

A vote for Marcille Donato is a vote for your local weirdo autistic transbian who fails to fit in."

#autistic anime girls poll #tumblr polls #anisphia wynn palletia #anisphia von palletia #Tensei Oujo to Tensai Reijou no Mahou Kakumei #The Magical Revolution Of The Reincarnated Princess and The Genius Young Lady #marcille donato #dunmeshi #dungeon meshi #delicious in dungeon #magirevo

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alwaysahiccupandastrid · 5 months

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“autistic luna” this, “autistic luna” that, can we talk about how hermione was autistic coded pls?

I mean... yes? It's definitely something I've thought about but I haven't really talked about it because I'm aware of my habit of making headcanons that all of my favourite characters are autistic (Dano!Riddler, Robin from ST etc), but yes, I've definitely considered that Hermione is autistic-coded.

Let me just be clear from the beginning: Do I think that R*wling intentionally wrote Hermione as autistic or autistic-coded? Absolutely fucking not. That woman can't write autism for shit, as she's proven with her Strike books; she didn't write Newt as autistic intentionally, nor did she write Luna as autistic intentionally, and I'm not giving that nightmare the credit for any autistic-coded characters in her works because she doesn't deserve it.

With that out of the way, let me discuss autistic!hermione.

One of most obvious things we all know about Hermione is her love of studying; it very much seems that upon finding out she was a witch, she threw herself into that world and learned all that she could about it. By the time she was on the train to Hogwarts for her first year, she had literally read all of the assigned text books and even knew a few basic spells. This is in part due to the fact she wanted to fit in with the Wizarding World - it's implied that she didn't really have any muggle friends pre-Hogwarts, she was probably ostracised for being such a "know-it-all", and it's clear that she wanted to fit in at Hogwarts, to find a place where she belonged, hence why she threw herself into it (and also because of her love of learning of course). You can see that she was desperate not only to learn as much as possible but also to make friends; if she didn't care about being accepted and making friends, Ron's comment about "no wonder she hasn't got any friends" wouldn't have hurt her nearly as much.

While a love of studying certain topics and a desire to fit in aren't solely autistic traits, they are ones that autistic people do seem to experience, myself included. Speaking from experience, I want to fit in and make friends because I feel lonely, and I see that everyone else around me seems comfortable/to have found people they can be around and trust, and I wish I had that. I find friendships very difficult to build and maintain, because I don't know how to talk to people or how to get them to like me, and I feel deficient in that area. Again, that's probably an experience non-autistic people can relate to as well, but from what I can tell it seems to be very common among us.

Another reason I think Hermione could be autistic-coded is that she seems to display a lack of empathy for others at times; a prime example of this is when Lavender's rabbit, Binky, died. Lavender was - quite understandably - sobbing about it, especially given that Binky was only a baby and that he was killed by a fox. Instead of offering any kind of sympathy or empathy, Hermione instead lectured her (and everyone else) about how Trelawney wasn't actually a seer, analysing how Trelawney didn't predict the bunny's death - she was more interested in proving that Divination sucked because it was her worst subject, like she had to have some kind of win over Trelawney/Divination. And while I understand her logic, she was sort of right, choosing that very moment - when one of her dorm-mates was sobbing over her dead pet - was not the best time to voice it. There's also her utter disregard for Ron's feelings over "Scabbers"; she had this "he's never really cared that much about Scabbers anyway" "he's an old rat anyway" kind of mentality that just displayed no kind of attempt to understand his feelings. The fact that Hermione became a pet owner herself just a few months before all of this also goes to show her lack of empathy/sympathy, the fact that despite owning an animal now she still was unable to do the socially acceptable thing and show empathy/sympathy instead of logic. Hermione is certainly not emotionless by any means, but there are definitely times where she seems so absorbed by her own ideas and thoughts/feelings that she's oblivious to other people's.

Not all autistic people are like this, of course, and not all people who display a lack of empathy or sympathy are necessarily autistic, but it's another thing to consider. While I like to think of myself as being a bit too empathetic, there are many times where I've appeared selfish and too caught up in my own head/feelings to regard other people's feelings or how best to approach being there for them. It's not because I don't care for them, it's just that I'm so caught up in my own thoughts and how I'm feeling that I often don't think twice about how someone else must be doing - and I'd say it's the same for Hermione, because while she doesn't seem to feel particularly strongly either way about Lavender in PoA, we know she definitely cares for Ron because he's one of her best friends (and love interest but if anything it was probably more a crush than anything else in third year)

Some more things that I'm too exhausted to discuss properly because I'm suffering severe burnout right now:

Hermione is very blunt and to the point, she doesn't sugarcoat things or mince words at all

It's mentioned that she talks very fast, to the point where during their first interaction Harry's like "did she even breathe during that speech?!?!", which is usually what I do when I infodump on people because I want to get all of my words out before I'm interrupted or forget them

An extremely good memory, she remembers so much of what she reads in books; the only reason I don't think it's photographic is because she read about Flamel and then later didn't remember it immediately when the trio were searching for information on him until Harry found him mentioned on the back of Dumbledore's Chocolate Frog card.

It's worth mentioning that she panics in dangerous situations and seems to forget things; "oh we don't have any wood to build a fire", for example, and then Ron had to remind her that she's a witch and can literally just use magic - something you'd think she'd remember given that she not only set Snape on fire that year but also created flames to put in jars during the winter

Hermione seems to be brilliant at spells and magic that require precision, but then she struggles with spells/magic that require some creativity and imagination like the Patronus charm - she's a logical thinker and so struggles with emotional charms

This links to what I said above about a lack of sympathy/empathy and her struggle making friends, but she definitely lacks social awareness; she constantly butts into other people's conversations and business, speaks her mind abrasively, and critically

Hermione taking on way too many classes in PoA, struggling to keep on top of it all, and snapping at anyone who came near her; struggling to manage things is is commonly found among many of us with autism since we can often only handle a certain amount of sensory input before we get overwhelmed.

Her reluctance to even consider other people's views/beliefs, eg. Luna's belief in strange or bizarre sounding creatures. She may have technically been right, but she was rude to Luna about it and didn't even want to consider why someone may have an opposing view. Hermione is so set in what she believes in, and what she believes in is logic and hard evidence.

I also recently found out that Emma Watson was apparently diagnosed with combined/hyperactive type ADHD as a child; while autism and ADHD are two different things, sometimes there's an overlap and sometimes people have both, so it's not outside the realm of possibility that any autistic/neurodivergent traits in movie!Hermione are partly down to this.

I'd be interested to hear other people's thoughts and if people want to add onto this post because it's been a long time since I read the books properly, and its also 1:30am here so I'm going to bed to try and get a few hours sleep!

#hermione granger #autism #autistic #actually autistic #harry potter #emma watson

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canmom · 1 year

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on D&D

there have been many a Posten floating across my slice through the tumblr database of late on the flaws of Dungeons & Dragons. this is an old, old argument - pushed by the White Wolf fans before my time, raised to a furious pitch by the Forge movement (Ron Edwards infamously declared that D&D players have brain damage), and continuing to simmer as the Forge gave way to 'Story Games', and then ebbing a bit with whatever that movement have way to. i don't even especially disagree - most of the good times I've had with D&D have been more despite the printed rulebooks than because of them.

however, it's worth considering what D&D actually is.

"D&D" should not be confused with the books released by Wizards of the Coast or TSR. Nor even the other books in the D&D family in the OSR, Pathfinder, etc. these are an important part of it to be sure, and WotC would certainly like us to think that it all flows out of the books.

however, I think 'buying a D&D book without any expectations, reading it cover, and attempting to run the game as described in the book' represents probably a tiny fraction of D&D players. any more than you could discern the practices of a religion by reading their holy book.

D&D, as actually practiced, is something like that - a set of practices or sorta oral tradition. you learn what D&D is when someone invites you to a D&D group, or you listen to an 'actual play' podcast, or - like me! - you fall into forums and read libraries worth of arguments about which edition is best and game balance and funny game table anecdotes, which create a picture in your head of idealised D&D, and then off you go and try and get your friends on board. you use the books primarily as a reference. (or nowadays you go on 5e.tools instead and don't buy expensive books).

the thing is, this tradition is really good at perpetuating itself and it's as endless and weird to dig into as any long running media franchise. and because a lot of it is an echo of weird 70s shit that comes from, say, an off-brand tokusatsu figurine from Hong Kong, or an author like Jack Vance whose legacy has been kinda swallowed by D&D, there's real character. yeah, there's plenty of tedious wank too, but the density of it means it can serve the 'creative prompt engine' function of an RPG in a way that's very difficult for a smaller, more tightly focused, and tbh less stupid game to be able to do.

it's also got a huge body of folklore to immerse in. the Dread Gazebo. Tucker's Kobolds. Pun-Pun. and it's fractal. a D&D forum, a podcast fanbase, etc. will end up with their own niche injokes. (of course, so will an individual group). there's endless lore to learn about the game's own history if you're that way inclined.

now you might say, most of that doesn't depend on it being D&D, the janky system outlined in the books of WotC. and that's true! there's no reason (beyond copyright) you couldn't confront a Bulette in Burning Wheel, play a Mind Flayer in Fiasco, or even set a game of Apocalypse World in Dark Sun.

this is where one of the quiet strengths of D&D-the-product does come in though. the role of the book is mostly to lend a certain sense of concreteness. it's a rhetorical trick: if you can turn to a page of the Monster Manual and see a mindflayer with a statblock, an artwork and a couple of unique abilities, then mindflayers feel more 'real'. factor in the existence of decades of history, splatbooks expanding on the concept, articles in Dragon, modules, stories about other groups who've encountered a mindflayer, and you feel like you know something. nevermind that most of the mindflayer lore is kind of eh at best! D&D is a machine that rewards your autism, hard.

and in terms of actual game design, there are some things that D&D is very granular about, like what your character can and can't do. D&D certainly is an unbalanced grab bag of not-exactly-integrated systems with no unifying design philosophy... and that's largely to its advantage in terms of making the stuff on your character sheet feel concrete, rather than ephemeral like the freely chosen Aspects in FATE. by making the map more complicated, the supposed territory it describes (the shared fiction) might be made to feel more substantial. it's not the only way to do this, mind you - you can absolutely make something a strongly impactful, constraining part of the shared fiction without numbers and dice. but the numbers and dice provide a scaffolding, a thing to lean on when you draw a blank.

(D&D arrived at this more or less by accident mind you. you could definitely say that something like the Moves of a PbtA game are a more coherent and flexible framework for system and fiction engaging without sacrificing substance. and there's plenty of trad games besides D&D which follow the same paradigm, not least because splatbooks are good business. still, I think there is something gained by what seems at a glance to just be an unholy mess of jank).

for a new game, it can't work in the same way. it's a chicken and egg problem. if nobody's ever played your game before, you can't so easily introduce it by doing. (sure you can run it for friends, but you can't rely on most people being introduced to the game that way). there may be a small or even large community of people for any given game, or maybe fans of types of game, but you have to mostly rely on the book to build up the concept in the player's mind.

one of the most useful tools you have is genre, but that's a double edged sword. there are many games that are just 'PbtA for cyberpunk' or whatever, instantly forgettable. again, that's a tricky bootstrapping problem. somehow, a game book needs to get players enthusiastic about the premise using the familiar, introduce them to the unique quirks that make it interesting, and put them in a mindset where they're ready to extemporise in whatever idiom the game suggests. tall order!

the voice of Apocalypse World - the rulebook - is very casual, quite aggressive. 'to do it, do it', not 'when its condition is met in the fiction, the Move is triggered' as a later PbtA might put it. it swears a lot. the voice of a Jenna Moran game is full of little asides and wordplay. the voice of an Avery Alder game is exhaustingly sanctimonious, which has unfortunately spread to other authors. this aspect, the feeling you get reading it describe the stuff it wants you to do, is way more important in telling you about the game than the short story you skip over at the beginning of the book, or even any particular mechanical procedure.

the voice of modern D&D is... honestly in its current edition, painfully corporate and dull. nothing puts me off playing D&D faster than reading the class introductions! but where it has the most character unique sort of slightly arch 'game prose', kind of like an encyclopedia entry with dice rolls in the middle of a sentence. it's unabashedly nerdy, comfortingly so. this is why long lists of almost identical polearms are actually valuable. games need to have something weird and jank and inexplicable for your brain to hold on to.

however... that mass is also a weakness. because all that concrete stuff that you can lean on to flesh out and inspire your imaginings... is also a lot to digest for a potential new player. (this is a reason why I've found it hard to get into games like Shadowrun and Eclipse Phase, lacking a clear on-ramp, and my ideas clashing unpredictably with established stuff.)

compared to games with a hyper-defined setting, and games that create it all improvisationally in the first session, D&D's modular framework is actually pretty ingenious. if every campaign takes place in its own mini setting designed by the DM, there's huge libraries of stuff that could be there, so you can get that 'I recognised that' knowledge, but there's no need to digest a campaign setting or worry about lore conflicts. you can be ~intertextual~ with other D&D games - "oh yeah, my DM used that!" - without all the commitments of an official setting. (of course, D&D has plenty of those too, and many of them are pretty neat. but it's agnostic about whether you use them.) this also gives you a starting point for making your own setting. "here's a thing that's expected to be there. what's your spin on this?" is a really productive question, if the things are minimally interesting.

so being a DM is kind of a bridge between "run it by the book" and "make your own game". you have a lot of freedom, and you have fallbacks to lean on. that's actually pretty good I think.

the DM role is... you could spin it different ways. on the one hand, it gives one player vastly more work than the others, turning them into a mini game designer + master of ceremonies + multirole actor + narrative author + typically, organiser; the one who's responsible for carrying the whole thing. on the other hand... that's a stage. if you are lucky enough to play with a really good DM, the whole thing really does come alive in a way that a book, no matter how elegant or flavourful, could never convey - because it's responsive to you and you get a rapport going. of course by the same token an unengaged, unenthusiastic DM can't be saved by any procedures or rules you could imagine. in that middle ground... that's where tools like Apocalypse World's MC moves come in to help. for D&D, 'how to DM well' is in my experience communicated almost exclusively through stories and imitation - you could never learn it from the DMG.

viewed as a practice or a ritual, D&D likes to mysticise the DM, like the mad wizard who built the moldering pile etc etc. you have the pageantry of the DM's screen, hidden dice rolls, passed notes, asking for perception checks without explanation. if you play in to it (you should, it's part of the fun), you get to lean on the established image of the Dungeon Master, not just someone in a room telling a story. oh wait, is that actual magic?

incidentally, I never really ran Apocalypse World strictly 'by the book'. I was aware of the list of principles and vaguely remembered the moves, but equally, perhaps more so, I was thinking of the idea of an Apocalypse World MC suggested in discussions online. I was also of course leaning on previous experience playing D&D and other games. it worked well, better the second time when I was older, because it's like 75% about being genuinely enthusiastic and paying attention to people when you get right down to it.

all this is why it's hard to replace D&D with a suite of modern, elegant purpose built systems. most of what happens at a TTRPG table, with any 'system', is not determined by what's written in the book but some fuzzy social dynamic in a given group of people and their shared idea of what the game is supposed to be. you can try and introduce rules and procedures into that dynamic, even create a game like Firebrands where nearly every step comes from a prompt list. (the question of how much the explicit mechanics should touch social interactions and narrative structure is a matter of taste). it can be helpful, but you can also risk stifling something important that comes in improv.

viewing the broad space of indie RPGs as its own tradition, like D&D... 'indie RPGs' has its own content, a shared context of frequent ttrpg players, the type like me who are likely to try a new system every campaign. the more games you play, the more analogies you can draw and the quicker you can pick up the gist of a new game. you'll have cross-game skills in e.g. improv or breaking down systems, and an established habitus in terms of stepping into character or playing a GM-like role that can't be written in a book. if you've only ever played D&D, or no TTRPGs at all, you'll have some of that, but a lot will be unfamiliar and the benefit won't necessarily be obvious.

I do think getting into the broader space of TTRPGs is worthwhile, because... ok this is going to sound pretentious as hell but seriously, it's a ridiculously interesting art form, both the designing and the playing of them. but also that's given me a perspective to look back and say, oh, that's what D&D was all along!

what would kill D&D, WotC edition? hard to imagine. there have been splinters, like the OSR for people who like simple mechanics, high lethality and the flavour associated with older editions, or Pathfinder for people who... idk, who really like 3.5 I guess and just wanted a few balance tweaks, idk, did it diverge more? it's definitely just D&D in a funny hat though. oh and there's Dungeon World but lol, Dungeon World.

D&D-the-product-line has come close to collapsing a couple of times, once when TSR went under, again when 4e divided the 3.5e fanbase hard, but 5e being a 'pretty solid for the most part' game that managed to somehow appeal to multiple ideas of 'what D&D is', along the Actual Play renaissance selling a new generation on the idea of D&D... that saved it. maybe it's about to take another hit with this new OGL killing the secondary industry.

I don't think that most of the D&D groups out there, in it for the idea of D&D, would be playing other TTRPGs if only D&D was not so big. likely they wouldn't be doing any such thing at all, but some other dorky hobby. if WotC-run D&D goes under, I'm not sure what happens! D&D-the-practice would continue no doubt, and maybe it starts looking like the OSR, with numerous variations on a theme that don't carry the stamp of 'officialness', until one or another can become an unofficial standard. maybe it looks like open source software and some kind of nonprofit D&D foundation is created to control the source lol. would be interesting to see.

aaaaanyway. if you want your fave non-D&D TTRPGs to thrive as D&D has, here's what you gotta do. talk about them. tell anecdotes from your games, the stupid memes and injokes, what you really like about the mechanics, tell everyone about the weird fun fucked up bits of the lore. tell a story about what it means to play that game. and sure, talk about how it's different from D&D and why you like it more. that story is the bait that will get people onto that fun new RPG system and give them a handle to get started. what got me into 'Story Games' all those years ago was finding a forum with a whole bunch of people having fascinating nerdy discussions about sides of TTRPGs I'd never been exposed to in D&D.

[of course me being me, I took it way too seriously and made a whole thing in my head about how much better these new, progressive Story Games were better than janky old incoherent Trad Games. for years I wouldn't even consider playing D&D or similar. all I can say is, I'm really glad I got over that attitude. hence this kind of post.]

#roleplaying games #dungeons and dragons #tabletop rpgs

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autisticgirliesbracket · 11 months

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What makes Dendy from OK K.O.! Let's Be Heroes the autistic girlie ever of all time? Here's what the people have to say:

Dendy-related asks/reblogs: x This post will be updated after each round!

Image ID in alt text and under the readmore.

[Image ID. White slide with a screenshot of Dendy in the top left corner. She is surrounded by text boxes which read,

"literally just look up a photo of her and youll understand. buuuut lets see uhh. she shows special interests in technology and these things in the show called pow cards. she has trouble understanding others emotions. her expressions are so. yknow. :|. when she shows up the show literally has this running gag where it plays a YAYYYY stock sfx in the bg. its literally the autism creature yippie. also shes just really cool and deserves to win everything ever. thank you for your time. watch ok ko."

"She's the little tech dork trope but I actually like how she pulls it off! She's constantly impressing K.O. and K.O. even calls her 'A science wizard' once! One of her nicknames that's canon is literally just 'Science baby' and I think that's so cute for her- She even says that she taught herself coding because it's a way to express herself, and I love that so much for her! Anyways I think she's more autistic coded than canonically Autistic but I love her anyways and think she'd fit right in!"

"Idk I just think she's cute and some other people like her, I hope she does well in this bracket"

"Shy, intelligent, and very good at hacking. Takes idioms literally and can act insensitively, but is sweet and has good intentions. Special interests are technology and trading cards. Often accompanied by the sound of kids cheering (not ASD related i just think its neat)."

"Okay, so: Dendy from OK KO is portrayed from the very beginning of the show as a young girl (around KO's age, since he's somewhere around 6-9) who is very logical and structured in her way of seeing the world, but struggles with social cues and expectations that aren't clearly laid out. She has a keen special interest in POW Cards (in-universe trading cards, basically), and this is how she first meets and connects with the protagonist KO. What I adore about this show is that it highlights what lots of people consider to be her being autistic, in a positive light. She has character arcs and self improvement like all of the characters do, she's not perfect, but her way of thinking and being is not demonized in any capacity, even if some characters occasionally don't 'get' her perspective, that's shown the same way as when /she/ doesn't get /their/ perspective. It's not canon that she's autistic, but there's a lot in this show that is coded without being stated explicitly, and because the show is very heavy handed (it is a kid's cartoon!) you get a lot of the positive messages you might expect like "celebrate differences" and whatnot without ever explicitly saying that she's autistic. However I think that it was very much intended! There are probably way better infodumps on Dendy being autistic than this one, haha, but I love her so much!"

"OUGHHH I CANT EVEN WORDS!!!! ANY DENDY CLIP SHOWS IT, SHES THE WORLDS BEST KAPPA UFHFHDBSB"

"Look at her. Silly kappa. I love her. She loves computers. She doesn’t understand emotions. She loves her friend K.O. She wants to be a hero. She’s so good. My sweet baby"

"she has a special interest (coding/robot stuff), she has trouble with empathy, she doesn't pick up on social cues, and more stuff I can't completely put into words cause I'm really bad at that :,)"

"I resonated very deeply with this awkward little kappa but aside from that I got the vibes from her monotone and formal speaking pattern and the way she struggled with understanding social cues or sarcasm. She's also extremely literal and logical to a fault sometimes (like myself) and she's got special intesests in tech and pow cards. She does struggle with understanding how her actions may effect others sometimes but she means well and does try to show that she cares once she does understand. I also see her backpack ("hack-pack") as a comfort item for her as she tends to take it with her everywhere and doesn't allow others to touch it, including her best friend, K.O."

"She's shown to behave in a way where she doesn't show her emotions that much, but when someone brings up her special interests she becomes a gremlin (In this case, POW Cards), she stims on screen, she's shown to be hyperfixated on technology and that's where she's able to infodump and such, im not sure how to explain this very well but yeah, as someone who is autistic themselves, i feel dendy is a great autistic girl!!" End ID.]

#autistic girlies bracket #autistic girlie masterpost #ok ko! let's be heroes #dendy

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alistairssock · 5 months

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List of companions from least to most likley to have abs

(Also want to clarify and disclaimer this that most people do in fact have abs, as in the muscles, which is very normal, but it's highly unrealistic that the majority have rippling, vacuum sealed ones, like Larian likes to pretend they make us believe)

1. Halsin. Bear. That man is a bear. He can become one and should be one, in both the literal sense and the queer sense. You can drag bear Halsin from my cold, dead fingers

2. Gale. This man does not have visible abs. He is in fact the last person on this earth who would have model abs. Whether you see him as some lean, frail, stick of a man, or if you see him as fat (correct opinion imo, because it makes him hotter /hj (head canons are to have fun with, nothing's 'correct')), that guy's only workout routine has been not skipping leg day in his little wizard tower. That's it. Maybe running after Tara if she causes some Cat Sheanigans. Point is: that man does not actively work out, because he simply doesn't need it, and I can't imagine him having the interest to do so. He's lived a repulsive autism king life idk what to tell you here

3. Jaheira. She looks like the average mom in her 60s, whatever you imagine that to be. She's also a druid, so wouldn't think doing sit-ups would be her first priority. She is strong tho, just not in a conventional way. More in a mama bear type of way. You get what I mean, in your heart

4. Astarion. Look, why would he have? I don't think it was on Cazador's criteria list that every one of his spawns should have chissled abs, I'd figure he doesn't care about that. Besides, it makes a lot of sense he'd just look how he did when he died in the first place?? So whatever that is, I refuse to believe it's how Larian wants him to look

5. Shadowheart. Look, being trained and brought up as she got, I would figure she'd get a fair deal of combat training. But he heart is also prone to Short And Stocky Shadowheart, so hence placing her here. She is wide and compressed (endearingly)

6. Karlach. She has abs, but in the way beefy wrestler women do. She is tall and built like a truck, beautiful tank of a lady. After recruiting her, she mostly works out to stay in good shape for battle, but most importantly to give her friends the bestest of hugs once she get the opportunity

7. Wyll. He's fit in like a pro fencer kinda way, in a prince charming kinda way. Kinda like his in-gsme build but less...that sculpted y'kno. He' a gym bro, but without the evil macho man vibes

8. Lae'zel. Githyanki anatomy is for most part being gangly and kinda bony?? but I know that gal takes sit-ups every day at dawn. Anime training montage music ensues, she's really in it for the kill #girlpower

9. Minthara. Built like Rhea Ripley, need I say more🕴🏳️‍🌈

10. Withers YEEEEEAH GO PEEPAW💪💥💪💯💪

#sorry for not including Minsc I just haven't encountered him in game so sadly have no opinions on him #bg3 #baldur's gate 3 #bg3 headcanons #bg3 companions #I got lost looking at beautiful women so this took a while to write down

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thoroughlychance · 8 months

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I have a cold and I’m miserable so I’m rewatching my favorite childhood show, Phineas and Fuckin’ Ferb.

I’m low key live-blogging to my bff so I might as well put some here. I started at season 2 because that’s what google says is the best season and I think it’s right.

- Doofenshmirtz has so much trauma and OWCA agents are therapists. He just sits there and eats wings with Perry and talks about how sad he is that he can’t come up with anything evil, then in the aglets episode Perry gives him the delete button to get rid of the embarrassing video, and when the evil plan doesn’t work he comes right back to Perry and says “I have an ouchie… in here” pointing to his HEART IM GONNA CRY DOOOOOOF

- Perry the Platypus makes that little sound intentionally. It doesn’t mean anything. It’s just a sound. Like when I hum at people. It has no translatable meaning, just tone.

- Candace is so stubborn. But she does love her brothers. She gets so mad about the aglets thing, but with Nessy Nosie, she looks at her brother’s puppy eyes and immediately agrees to throw away the evidence she wanted. Then she meets the ACTUAL MYTHICAL MONSTER and doesn’t even care, is just stubborn about it.

- “HAHAHA, IT WORKED! Your miracle growth elixir has turned you into GIANT NERDS!”

- I do enjoy the flawless girl thing. Beauty/cosmetic thing with a whole bunch of cosmetics to make insecure teenagers feel the need to buy a whole bunch of products to look “perfect” but it’s very hyperbolized so it’s clearly visible to be bad, and I’m sensing a moral about that as well. Heck yea. As I’m typing, we’re reaching the end of the episode and yea, “you both make money off of people’s natural insecurities!” Good moral.

- “Oh, that’s our sister… our -chuckles- Big sister.” (She drank the growth elixir)

- (she shrinks back while approaching her mom) “I’m back to normal!” “Normal being a… relative term.”

- why are Baljeets parents so… the way they are. I feel so bad for Baljeet. He’s got that Smart Kid Pressure ™ and can’t escape from it. Except in that one episode… but I haven’t gotten there yet.

- “oh my gosh, the square root of soon… is never.”

- “doofenshmirtz 🎶quality 🎵bratwurst”

- “Make this fish put me down!” “It’s a mammal, Candace!”

- “Your hot dog is no match… for my BRATWURST!” (No but the way Perry just keeps a hot dog in his hat that he summoned like a wizard summons a broom) (the way they’re swordfighting and Doof just takes a bite of Perry’s blade)

-Ferb is so autism

- “You know what they say: if you love something, set it free.” “We do that every day with Perry— oh, there you are, Perry!”

#phineas and ferb #liveblog #kids shows are so good #between this and bluey I’m set #seriously I just have a cold #but I’m so miserable #I’ve been coughing so much #Ferb is so autistic #Phineas is so adhd #those boys are everything

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chaosismynamemf · 1 year

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Here are headcanons bc i decided im not going to wait for someone to ask for them bc im not a wuss PT. 1

I SAID IT BEFORE AND ILL SAY IT AGAIN

REGULUS ARCTURUS BLACK IS REALLY FUCKING TALL

Remus and lily are also pretty tall

James and sirius are short kings

peter's average height and hes chill with that

hes also carries himself really like idk proper? idk. He just unconsciously has really good posture. its so fuckin elegant (Bc you KNOW that shit was drilled into him asap. sirius was the same way i think lol. I think my mans literally trained himself to slouch.)

ALSO- I regulus has autism (ik its a popular hc but idc if its popular i agree with it and i love everyone being nd and gay and pwinpiwnpinqfp I NEED REPRESENTATION ALR??)

Reg also has bipolar disorder and anxiety ptsd and depression

Sirius has bpd and ocd and ptsd bc i have bpd and ocd and i said so

james has adhd

remus has depression and anxiety

peter is the token nt friend lmao once again hes just chillin

hes vv supportive tho and is as helpful as he can be you wont catch him slippin and being ignorant and weird about his friends and they mental illness. Nuh-uh no sir.

Ok so i dunno much about the slytherin skittles or like Marlene, dorcus (is she apart of slytherin skittles?? idk man) ,mary, etc etc

But i see them everywhere in the fandom sooooo yall best be aware ive gotten attached to these fuckers

Marlene

She is SO FUCKIN HOT

Gods

So hot

She could step on me

Her and sirius are besties. Leather jacket duo if you will.

OK BUT REGULUS IN PLATFORMS???

Just thought of that and i am in love

Ugh this man is my everything

i honestly just wanna be his best friend

deadass

but anyways

i actually like the idea of regulus and sirius having similar music tastes and exchanging music reccs

dont come at me lmao

Literally reggie and sirius are just 2 sides of the same coin

this post is getting really fuckin long. BUT IDC

i wanna talk about my VERY MUCH ALIVE AND WELL AND HAPPY gay wizards

i dont know much about other cultures or anything like that.

so im not gonna go willy nilly and assign a bunch of headcanons on race or ethnicity or whatever

but i am TELLING YOU, YEA YOU

my wizard babies were not all white

We can all agree on this yes?

james has a little bump on the bridge of his nose.

And dimples

regulus and sirius getting drunk would either be really really funny or really really depressing

There is no in between

regulus is the type to not heavily drink all too often but when he does? my mans is blackout

the next morning? he dont know shit, legit if he DOES remember anything? hes like "mustve been a funky dream"

Yes regulus says funky

i honestly dont gaf that marauders era is set in like the 70's

Regulus deadass acts like gen Z incarnated, and you wouldnt be able to snatch this from my cold dead hands

even then i wouldnt let go

id wake up to bitch slap you

bitch

ANYWAYS

I think that regulus has like really explosive anger and sirius actually has like the quiet, you know im angry, what'cha gonna do about it?

my logic is that regulus has for the longest time kept all of his emotions and opinions to himself bc he literally couldnt express them because he was barely surviving as is

regulus speaking his mind about anything would be suicide

Now the opposite is for sirius ofc

sirius from pretty early got to scream and shout what he thought and felt until he lost his voice

He got a lot of it out of his system

he hasnt HAD to bottle up enough anger to be explosive

Also jus sayin i set all of this in a everyone lives, nobody dies universe

voldemort is killed in the 1st war because regulus survived the cave and ended up on Order of the phoenix's doorstep bein like

"Let me in, i got sum shit to tell you"

Man's is soaking wet and has a look so intense noone can tell him no

And so my mans joins the order and ends the war MUCH MUCH EARLIER

pop off buddy

love ya, mean it

nobody really trusted him at first

and i mean it

regulus was vv alienated at first (Not by dorcus, but dorcus is only one person and cant keep the caution and disgust and animosity away completely)

and you know what??

He was hurt he was angry he was depressed and he was so so over this shit

So he screamed until he was hoarse and told them to get their heads outta their asses bc he was here to help and here to stay

he knows he fucked up and he is self aware to know that he couldve been called the "bad guy" on many occasions

but that doesnt fuckin matter anymore because hes apart of their little hero club now and he is not being shunned just because he was a dumb kid who made mistakes

long story short my dudes like "SO-if you're going to talk shit, either say it to my face or keep quiet. ight?"

vv quickly after that people choose to keep quiet and actually yknow interact with him and see for themselves that he is not the boogie man hiding under their bed waiting to fuck them over.

I love angry, unhinged, doesnt gaf anymore regulus

Hes been through too much to be calm cool and collected towards people who he doesnt give a shit about (i mean he will but still)

ANYWAYS (can you tell i have adhd? if not i vv much am)

Regulus yanks his school besties (Even and barty) away from voldemort. I think my mans straight up yoinked them.

after the war he reaches out to pandora

this is getting really long so i will make another part lmao

LOOK YOU CANT BLAME ME

these characters couldve been so dynamic and complex

and jkr ROBBED US

#jkr is trash #i hate her #anyways #I love my dead gay wizards #Except they aren't dead :)#jegulus headcanon #james x regulus #james & peter & remus & sirius #peter pettigrew #regulus #sirius and regulus #marauders era #harry potter fandom #regulus headcanon #regulus being regulus #regulus and evan and barty #regulus deserved better #black brothers

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whiterosebrian · 1 month

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Suicide and Satire

Several months ago, I stated that I would take an extended break from posting to social media to focus on personal rehabilitation. It seems to have gone poorly. For starters, the manual labor at the mass-mailing warehouse still causes pain and leads me to spend much time resting and recovering in bed, watching videos on my smartphone. The weather hasn’t been right yet for wandering outdoors for meditation. Due to multiple unhappy accidents causing delays, I haven’t been able to meet with a clinical social worker often enough and make much progress in counseling. Even apart from those complications, I came to realize that I can’t make significant progress in healing deep-seated personal wounds within a neat, limited timeframe.

I have issues. I have increasingly struggled with feelings of inadequacy, with self-loathing, with a sense of utter failure in life, with lifelong dreams that have seemed more and more distant and impossible. I still feel wounding from my years of trying to live as a proper Catholic Christian while also seeing the serious accusations and difficult questions about the religion and its claims of truth—further reinforcing my sense of having wasted my life. My autism has made relating as a normal human being difficult.

There is one further aspect that I have been tight-lipped about until now. The stigma around its discussion is understandable, as it could potentially encourage harmful actions. I’ve been plagued by thoughts of suicide. The doomsaying that I’ve seen around the Internet has provoked thoughts of life being utterly, utterly pointless. If everything is irreversibly doomed and no one is trying to save or restore or prevent anything, as a large number of voices suggest or bluntly proclaim, why bother doing anything whatsoever? Thus, my thoughts have turned to suicide being the only logical response.

Even apart from that, I’ve wondered if my personal existence in general has any purpose, given that I seemingly failed to achieve anything meaningful and made too many wrong choices. Am I merely a spoiled brat who brings nothing but pain and suffering? Am I merely a parasitic colonizer? Would my death somehow bring healing? I’ve tried looking online to see if “white guilt” ever becomes suicidal in the real world, but I’ve seen only mean-spirited right-wing mockeries of the entire concept. You might be pleased to hear that a new medication that I’ve been taking has reduced such extreme depressive thoughts.

I doubted that I could write about my personal torments in more detail here. I wrote about them more extensively in an outline of topics for discussion that I printed and handed to the aforementioned social worker—that in itself was draining. What I can more easily write about is possible plans for near future.

Are you familiar with the phrase Juvenalian satire? The likes of Mad Magazine and the Simpsons have led many to think that satire is inherently comical and silly—that type is called Horatian. Satire can also be quite dark. For example, Watchmen is a satire of superhero comics and general heroic narratives. The most infamous example of a dark satire, in this case about the pursuit of wealth and pleasure, is the horror novel American Psycho. That type of satire is called Juvenalian.

Concepts for a philosophical novel on cultural warfare have bounced around in my mind for nearly twenty years at this point. Fairly recently, I began typing developmental documents for a novel acting as a Juvenalian satire of Catholic fundamentalism. The very basic premise is this: a Heathen wizard tries to bring solace and healing (and later investigate a rumored though plausible conspiracy) as his college campus faces murders by a slasher likely radicalized by a reactionary order of Catholic priests. Considering the rise of audiobooks, I could see myself attempting to perform an audiobook after publication like some oral storyteller. I have considered going ahead and writing that novel as a means of working through my religious angst. Indeed, I would have started during January if I didn’t think that I needed to focus on getting help through counseling and meditation.

I may do that later. An organization supporting adults with disabilities (recall that I am autistic) has been building a new housing complex at a former military base. The construction is projected to be completed during the fall, and I will very likely move in shortly afterwards. I may take go on another extended break from social media after I move, focusing on the formal composition of the novel.

What shall I do in the meantime? Shall I write and post more poetic exercises? Incidentally, I still don’t think that I’m ready to seek out open-mic events yet, as I still intend to prioritize not only counseling but also continued magical research. I may yet make and post a new digitally colored drawing or two as well as a several sketches if I feel like I can do so. Don’t expect me to post frequently or regularly by any means.

I can’t expect you to say much regarding my personal problems. I do ask you that you contact your elected officials and put pressure on them to hasten the transition away from fossil fuels, encourage environmental restoration, work towards peaceful diplomatic resolutions in foreign relations, place stringent regulations on artificial intelligence, demand a ceasefire in Israel-Palestine, and take action on various current genocides. Whenever I post public journal entries like this, you’ll likely see more generalized calls to action, as I do believe that we all need to what we can for the Earth and all its inhabitants. I do indeed wish to personally make as big of an impact as possible.

#long text #self healing #writer #life

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theautismgoblin · 6 months

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Okay more rant time, so I've noticed the ASD community has again decided to grab something by the Figurative strings for dear life (The Amazing Digital Circus) which has happened quite a few times in the last two years, with it happening a total of like four times at this point in that timespan. Anywho, I think I know why, it's something I've been running through my head for a few weeks. So I think I'll explain, it's the isolation and confinement factor. What do I mean, let's take a look at all the fandoms I'm talking about

First is The Amazing Digital Circus, where the characters are all effectively isolated from the outside world, and trapped there.

Next, is Welcome Home. Now this one is depending on the theory people have, since it affects how you view the main character, Wally Darling. If you believe the isolation theory (where Wally is trapped and alone inside Home, and is using the restoration project to try to escape). But the same concept exists, trapped and isolated and alone .

Third, is DHMIS I don't even need to explain this one. But I will, all three puppets are trapped inside the house, and each of them is also isolated from others, only having each other to rely on.

Finally The Stanley Parable, once again, Stanley and The Narrator are literally trapped in the Parable. They are isolated from anyone other than each other, with them sometimes isolating themselves completely (like the not real ending, or the escape ending, the skip button ending, just all of it)

Now what does this have to do with autism, wellllll, a lot actually. Now this is just from my own experiences so it doesn't fit every one, but I know that it applies to plenty of autistic folks, but many folks with ASD have been isolated from our peers throughout our lives, even if we could mask really well. We were picked on, when we ranted or talked, we immediately got weird looks. So many of us got ostracized from social groups, hell sometimes we isolated ourselves by hiding in our rooms or closets to get away from others. And then the trapped factor. This is another one, many of us have felt trapped in our own lives (yes it sucks). We had to play pretend with everyone, just to not get isolated and even that didn't work (but the kicker, was it was hard to stop masking). Many of us got forced to sit still, the touch or eat things that hurt, to drain our social batteries for gatherings. And when you're a kid, which is where most of the trauma comes in, you got little to no say in what you and your family did. I know on multiple occasions I was forced to go to festivals I didn't want to go to, and was exhausted when I got home (yet still expected to clean afterwards sometimes, depended on the day though)..

Anyways, this sore of sympathy and empathy I think extended very specifically to characters even more than where their from. In most of these case the main premise has the idea already there (with the exception of Welcome Home, though their puppets so that absolutely plays a factor), but there are plenty of characters who are isolated or trapped in their respective media, like The lonely Wizard, Goobert, P03 (look I have seen multiple people call P03 out, and you can't tell me you don't love Goobert or Lonely Wizard). Chara and W.D. Gaster was another one, Gaster makes sense, and Chara is only heard by one person (the player) so yeah isolation. You also have Suns and Moon again they are stuck in the daycare (Moon's iffy, but Sun's definitely there). Bill Cipher was another one, I think not sure about him (could just be my bias)

And the best part, the majority of these characters are also viewed as having ASD or ADHD, which those two things go together too well, which adds to the empathy even more. But I do want to point out that what I just stated isn't a requirement at all, but it does help.

#the amazing digital circus #tdac #welcome home #dhmis #tsp #dont hug me im scared #the stanley parable #the stanley parable narrator #autism #fnaf #analysis #wally darling #isolation #trapped

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uefb · 1 year

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The Business of Worrying (link)

A story about Newt’s first year at Hogwarts, featuring communication, bizarre wizarding expectations of ability, autism, ableism, nonverbal magic, and accessibility. (Also, with a side of 'Hogwarts is a Mess' and 'Complicated Families are Complicated'.) Starts at age 5, and ends at age 12.

SUMMARY: Newt has always had plenty of people worrying about him, so he doesn't bother with it much himself. But that doesn't mean things are always easy; and just because talking doesn't come to him naturally doesn't mean he has nothing to offer, or nothing to say at all. Luckily—sometimes—people manage to recognise that. Over time, though, Newt realises it's more important he simply believe it himself.

Opening Scene:

Newt is five-and-three-quarter years old when his mother takes him to St. Mungo’s for the first time.

The day before had been a “disaster” and the Underage Magic Officers had very crossly told his parents they needed to “figure something out”. That command had apparently been what sparked his mum to gently wrestle him into his cleanest trousers and the itchy sweater with no holes that morning, before rushing him through their chores, tossing him an apple, and carting him off to London. She’s knelt before him, now, with that smile on her face that makes his heart beat like hippogriff wings on a late summer updraft, and she promises him over and over again that everything will be alright.

“Just try your best to talk so they can help you. Let them inside that brilliant little mind of yours. Think you can do that, cinnamon?”

They meet his aunt-the-mediwitch in the hospital lobby, and then Newt is ushered up behind her to the Children’s Ward, placed in a room with his mother seated behind him and a woman he doesn’t know across the table in front.

The chair is too big and his legs are too small and he does not want to answer her questions.

After several long minutes of discomfort, he lets his gaze drift to the wall and he pretends he is somewhere else ( anywhere —the doxy nest in the back garden); and when he starts paying attention again, he is suddenly and viscerally aware that his mother is crying. She’s pulled up her chair to sit directly beside him, and she is leaning slightly forward—toward the healer, who frowns at him—and she is vibrating with the kind of repressed and desperate energy he gets himself when he very much wants to leap for the next branch but knows (with his brother watching, for example) that it would be entirely inappropriate.

“Once a week, I think, Mrs. Scamander, should break him of the quiet.”

Newt blinks, watches the quivering reflection of the charmed lights on the enamel table top, swings a leg in agitation.

“His father can be like this, though... Isn’t it possible he’ll grow out of it? That’s normal for children, isn’t it? Things like this?”

The healer he doesn’t know is rocking her head back and forth as if considering, and he thinks she looks a bit like a plimpie, bobbing about when stuck in an eddy.

“And your husband, when he was a child…” the healer is kindly saying, in the sort of voice Mother reserves for skittish hippogriffs. “Has your mother-in-law reported this kind of accidental magic? This single-minded mania?”

Newt looks up at his mum and watches her shake her head and bite her lip (No… No, nothing quite the same… ); and there is a part of Newt that wants to crawl into her lap and pet her head the way he does the stray dogs in the village, when they duck away from contact and skitter fast into the shadows.

But he does not know this place so he does not move.

They’re talking again, and Newt does not like it here, and he wishes his father were there with his steady voice, and firm grip; the enchanted paper he’d taught Newt to use to communicate when his words are a fog in his mind (but he wasn’t allowed to bring it today because the point was to talk ), but Dad is at work so he’ll see him at home.

“Well, we’ve no way to know about that,” the stranger-healer is saying when he starts paying attention again. “But if something happens again—like yesterday—it would be the Ward’s recommendation to admit Newton for observation.”

His mother is crying particularly hard now — she sounds like she’s choking on something very big and very important, perhaps even her heart, he thinks — and Newt feels that buzzing anxiety just beneath his skin, and he shakes his hands out from his wrists to stop the magic.

No one notices.

“Mrs. Scamander, I’ve sent a note to be placed in his file at the Improper Use of Magic Office, that his parents are reacting appropriately to the Ministry’s concerns.”

His mum pulls a handkerchief embroidered with flowers and griffins from her coat pocket, and she dabs her eyes and is herself again. Newt doesn’t look at the healer, but he watches her press some papers into his mother’s hands, listens as she rattles off the date he is meant to come back.

(Newt distinctly does not want to come back.)

His mother hasn’t carried him in years—not since he got too big to ride pick-a-back as she worked in the barn—but she scoops him up anyway as they leave the office, hefts him onto her hip as she says goodbye to her sister-the-mediwitch at the door to the Children’s Ward, floo’s them to his father’s department at the Ministry so they can all go out for lunch.

His dad even clocks out early to take him to the menagerie and the bookstore after they eat.

It is when Newt is on his tiptoes peering inside a terrarium that he suddenly realises his mum has begun to cry again, but this time it seems to be because he won’t stop talking (asking the man behind the counter if he can please see the kneazles! and telling him all about the horklumps he’s been studying in the garden).

It makes no sense, so Newt clings to his father’s hand and pretends it is not happening.

#There's a lot more hopeful and less angsty things in here too #mind the gentle content warning in the ao3 link if you're on the spectrum #my stuff #fic: the business of worrying #newt scamander #young newt scamander #autistic newt scamander #semispeaking autism #semiverbal autism #remember - you don't have to grow up to write a book that changes a field to be worth of life and respect so #just a friendly neighborhood disclaimer #also - i owe so many people so many comments on fics and so many responses to messages and asks #but my own words are really low right now and i'm struggling in school which is absolutely why i therapeutically wrote this so #thank you for your patience lmao #uefb rambles in the tags #fantastic beasts and where to find them #fantastic beasts fanfict

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