#uefb rambles in the tags

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My “With Its Head Under One Wing” series/universe has spun entirely out of control and I’ve skipped from writing 1935 to 1944, and gosh darn it if I actually care about the ridiculous out-of-order way I post, because the NewTina fluff is killing me and I’ve been in an action/adventure/ANGST mood, so 1944 is just going to be posted whether anyone likes it or not because if I have to try to revise one more paragraph of early NewTina softness right now, I am going to turn into a radioactive jellyfish.

(And yes, this story does destroy my entire plan for the pacing and tone of the sequels of WIHUOW, but I’m just going to have to re-envision how the story will actually be told at the end of WIHUOW’s prepared 24 chapters and 2 follow-up one-shots, because gosh — f*ck it. No one’s grading me on this and I’m a grown person who can change their mind about things—I’ve signed no contracts 😆)

Anyway, there will be the first chapter of new fic tomorrow/today, and it’s nearly completely written so they’ll be very quick updates 🤷🏼

It’s fine. I’m fine. These 2 unfinished chapters of WIHUOW (between me and 15k+ words ready to post) are just going to torture me forever. 😅

#autism meet adhd #you now have no control over your life — enjoy #le sigh #uefb rambles #uefb rambles in the tags #fic: with its head under one wing #fic: hope is the thing with feathers #fantastic beasts fanfic #also I just remembered I had coffee at 7PM what is wrong with me

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OUT-OF-CONTEXT POWER COUPLE (I love them, your honor)

from approximately Ch 21 (not yet published) of this fic

#I sometimes wonder if these updates are annoying but then I remind myself this is my blog and people don’t have to follow me I suppose #part two is getting out of control #I thought I had it all written but the characters just keep doing shit and tying together plot points that weren’t even supposed to exist #in the first place #so here we damn are #at this rate it’ll be March before this chap goes up #it’s bloating #this story is sprawling and I only mildly regret all my choices #I’ve at least written partially through 1942 at this point so that’s something #even though this bit is STILL in 19 damn 35 #also I finally finally let them have an onscreen kiss in this scene #it only took me 3 years of narrative lmao #newt scamander #tina goldstein #newtina #autistic newt scamander #current wip #my stuff #fic: with its head under one wing #uefb rambles in the tags

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I absolutely love writing Newt Scamander as a dad. Absolute mama bear. Occasionally clueless and entirely ineffective? Sure, yeah, probably. Yet still always aggressively protective, in his own special way.

#fic: a teenage legilimens #oc ch: ephesus rafael goldstein scamander #newt scamander #fantastic beasts fanfic #my stuff #this one may never get completed bc it’s just a short one shot & doesn’t have much plot but it’s fun to scribble away at things sometimes #regardless #also fife has grown up to be the kind of kid that would join a frat #which is to say — he’s far more theseus than he is Newt & combined w the legilimency he’s got Weasley vibes #but Newt loves him nonetheless — and Tina loves him too - even tho she ironically blames all his rule bending on newt — the stories far #more complicated than that lol #anyway rambling #uefb rambles in the tags #back to statistics fml

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I continue to suffer through my phd but I was scrolling through my GoogleDrive before bed and came across a 2k, unedited one-shot. It’s about Theseus & Tina working together in the late 30s, handling Newt-as-consultant in the midst of their burgeoning “we’re both big bad aurors but now we’re also sibling-in-laws” relationship. The whole thing is—admittedly—largely crack, but it is also cracking me up

#I’m sure I’ll tidy this up one day but it needs too much work to be a project for this week #I have to — you know — not fail out of my phd program first #my stuff #tina goldstein #Theseus Scamander #newt Scamander #Scamander brothers #Theseus & Tina #fantastic beasts fanfic #everyone’s just slightly out of character but in everyone’s defense Tina is undercaffienated and newt’s thinking abt dragons so #uefb rambles in the tags

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Today is going great

💁🏼

#autism & adhd really do be like this #fanfiction #I swear I do things besides complain lmao #and yet HERE I GO AGAIN #time to put on an FB film in the background & try to use it to trick me into feeling like I wanna do what i have to do #it’s not that I don’t like research #I just don’t give AF about this class #but I unfortunately have to #bc it’s my last one #and I must get a B in order to move on to dissertation #literally the American doctoral system is wild tho #ANYWAY #Once I make it through this hell everybody’s getting Newtina fluff #theseus & newt vulnerability #emotional and physical hurt/comfort #replete with wizarding inventions and my convoluted plots so #hdkaldbfwiksjd #so close #uefb rambles in the tags #not fb #technically

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Early Tina and Newt give early Tegan & Sara song vibes and I don’t have the energy to elaborate beyond these screenshots at the moment but there will inevitably and eventually be edits bc I am queer, neurodivergent, fixated and thus have no self control

#also why are lesbian love songs absolutely on point for them #we all know #it’s the subtle queerness of them both and I love it #newtina #fantastic beasts #Tina goldstein #newt Scamander #uefb rambles #uefb rambles in the tags #tegan & sara #my stuff #kinda

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Twitter Hiatus

Hi, Fantastic Beasts people. I just wanted to let folks who follow me primarily on Twitter know that I am taking a twitter hiatus for the foreseeable future, and that I may be permanently transitioning to tumblr. I know more of my fic traffic comes from twitter than tumblr (for a reason I don’t understand, apart from FB fans being more active over there perhaps?), so please do keep an eye on this space for updates. I am hoping to have another chapter of my long fic up by the end of the weekend.

#send tweet from post-meltdown haze #I am really really really going to miss seeing everyone’s art and snippets on twitter but I have to take a break for my mental health #anyway #my stuff #newtina #fantastic beasts #newt Scamander #fantastic beasts fic #I love Lally #uefb rambles #uefb rambles in the tags

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The Business of Worrying (link)

A story about Newt’s first year at Hogwarts, featuring communication, bizarre wizarding expectations of ability, autism, ableism, nonverbal magic, and accessibility. (Also, with a side of 'Hogwarts is a Mess' and 'Complicated Families are Complicated'.) Starts at age 5, and ends at age 12.

SUMMARY: Newt has always had plenty of people worrying about him, so he doesn't bother with it much himself. But that doesn't mean things are always easy; and just because talking doesn't come to him naturally doesn't mean he has nothing to offer, or nothing to say at all. Luckily—sometimes—people manage to recognise that. Over time, though, Newt realises it's more important he simply believe it himself.

Opening Scene:

Newt is five-and-three-quarter years old when his mother takes him to St. Mungo’s for the first time. 

The day before had been a “disaster” and the Underage Magic Officers had very crossly told his parents they needed to “figure something out”. That command had apparently been what sparked his mum to gently wrestle him into his cleanest trousers and the itchy sweater with no holes that morning, before rushing him through their chores, tossing him an apple, and carting him off to London. She’s knelt before him, now, with that smile on her face that makes his heart beat like hippogriff wings on a late summer updraft, and she promises him over and over again that everything will be alright.

“Just try your best to talk so they can help you. Let them inside that brilliant little mind of yours. Think you can do that, cinnamon?”

They meet his aunt-the-mediwitch in the hospital lobby, and then Newt is ushered up behind her to the Children’s Ward, placed in a room with his mother seated behind him and a woman he doesn’t know across the table in front. 

The chair is too big and his legs are too small and he does not want to answer her questions. 

After several long minutes of discomfort, he lets his gaze drift to the wall and he pretends he is somewhere else ( anywhere —the doxy nest in the back garden); and when he starts paying attention again, he is suddenly and viscerally aware that his mother is crying. She’s pulled up her chair to sit directly beside him, and she is leaning slightly forward—toward the healer, who frowns at him—and she is vibrating with the kind of repressed and desperate energy he gets himself when he very much wants to leap for the next branch but knows (with his brother watching, for example) that it would be entirely inappropriate.

“Once a week, I think, Mrs. Scamander, should break him of the quiet.”

Newt blinks, watches the quivering reflection of the charmed lights on the enamel table top, swings a leg in agitation. 

“His father can be like this, though... Isn’t it possible he’ll grow out of it? That’s normal for children, isn’t it? Things like this?”

The healer he doesn’t know is rocking her head back and forth as if considering, and he thinks she looks a bit like a plimpie, bobbing about when stuck in an eddy.

“And your husband, when he was a child…” the healer is kindly saying, in the sort of voice Mother reserves for skittish hippogriffs. “Has your mother-in-law reported this kind of accidental magic? This single-minded mania?”

Newt looks up at his mum and watches her shake her head and bite her lip (No… No, nothing quite the same… ); and there is a part of Newt that wants to crawl into her lap and pet her head the way he does the stray dogs in the village, when they duck away from contact and skitter fast into the shadows. 

But he does not know this place so he does not move.  

They’re talking again, and Newt does not like it here, and he wishes his father were there with his steady voice, and firm grip; the enchanted paper he’d taught Newt to use to communicate when his words are a fog in his mind (but he wasn’t allowed to bring it today because the point was to talk ), but Dad is at work so he’ll see him at home.

“Well, we’ve no way to know about that,” the stranger-healer is saying when he starts paying attention again. “But if something happens again—like yesterday—it would be the Ward’s recommendation to admit Newton for observation.”

His mother is crying particularly hard now — she sounds like she’s choking on something very big and very important, perhaps even her heart, he thinks — and Newt feels that buzzing anxiety just beneath his skin, and he shakes his hands out from his wrists to stop the magic.

No one notices.

“Mrs. Scamander, I’ve sent a note to be placed in his file at the Improper Use of Magic Office, that his parents are reacting appropriately to the Ministry’s concerns.”

His mum pulls a handkerchief embroidered with flowers and griffins from her coat pocket, and she dabs her eyes and is herself again. Newt doesn’t look at the healer, but he watches her press some papers into his mother’s hands, listens as she rattles off the date he is meant to come back.

(Newt distinctly does not want to come back.)

His mother hasn’t carried him in years—not since he got too big to ride pick-a-back as she worked in the barn—but she scoops him up anyway as they leave the office, hefts him onto her hip as she says goodbye to her sister-the-mediwitch at the door to the Children’s Ward, floo’s them to his father’s department at the Ministry so they can all go out for lunch. 

His dad even clocks out early to take him to the menagerie and the bookstore after they eat. 

It is when Newt is on his tiptoes peering inside a terrarium that he suddenly realises his mum has begun to cry again, but this time it seems to be because he won’t stop talking (asking the man behind the counter if he can please see the kneazles! and telling him all about the horklumps he’s been studying in the garden).

It makes no sense, so Newt clings to his father’s hand and pretends it is not happening.

#There's a lot more hopeful and less angsty things in here too #mind the gentle content warning in the ao3 link if you're on the spectrum #my stuff #fic: the business of worrying #newt scamander #young newt scamander #autistic newt scamander #semispeaking autism #semiverbal autism #remember - you don't have to grow up to write a book that changes a field to be worth of life and respect so #just a friendly neighborhood disclaimer #also - i owe so many people so many comments on fics and so many responses to messages and asks #but my own words are really low right now and i'm struggling in school which is absolutely why i therapeutically wrote this so #thank you for your patience lmao #uefb rambles in the tags #fantastic beasts and where to find them #fantastic beasts fanfict

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This excerpt from Head Full of Fairies (x) brought to you by crying ✨actual tears✨ to my advisor and then spending an hour staring at the shadows from my hammock

New chapter up tomorrow ^_^

gifs by @whumpypepsigal & unknown (tenor)

#Queenie and newt become weird friends in this universe I’ve written is one of the more entertaining side-effects of falling in love with FB #*becoming #like I feel like they’re both often annoyed with each other but also deeply appreciative #newts a more subdued energy for someone like Queenie to deal with & newts gained enough trust for Queenie over the years to let her a #little more in #anyway #this scenes not ever about them except for the last line which I haven’t even fleshed out in my long fics yet alas #ANYWAY! #my stuff #fic: head full of fairies #tina goldstein #queenie goldstein #legilimens queenie #newt Scamander #autistic newt Scamander #newtina #fantastic beasts #fantastic beasts fic #uefb rambles in the tags

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Today was unproductive and stressful so I coped by rewriting 2k words and adding 2k more to a section of my long fic, which now includes this [excerpted] note from a rather well-medicated, currently non-speaking [and admittedly traumatized] Newt to a regrettably sober [and also admittedly traumatized] Tina, in 1935 (if it ends up making the final cut, of course — I’ve been doing a lot of shuffling of scenes lately)

Intro to the note excerpt:

But she woke, herself, to the smell of coffee three hours later instead. Newt was still asleep against her, but with a pen abandoned in his lap and the battered field notebook they’d salvaged from his coat limp in his hand, clearly indicating he’d woken at some point and managed to gain someone's attention. She blinked herself fully awake and watched the outline of Jacob solidify in a chair across from her. She looked from him to Newt and back again, but her brother-in-law only shrugged and handed her a cup of coffee, before nodding at the page pinned beneath Newt’s scarred and freckled hand.

It was messily written—he’d clearly struggled to do it with his left—though there was evidence of a very clumsy attempt at spelling it tidy (and even more evidence he’d given up on the nonverbal, wandless magic halfway through in—what she guessed was—exhausted frustration).

She tugged it gently away from him and shifted herself into the chair beside the bed, sipping coffee as she read.

Note excerpt:

Also this grossness later (and yes — we go hard with creature metaphors in this house and we lean so hard into Newt-as-writer):

I think perhaps you are the fire within which i am inspired to keep myself alive. Burning bright until the light goes out, doing anything to keep you my home

*gag* but also I resonate with nerd!Newt on a spiritual level in case that’s unclear

#how many salamander metaphors from how many sources can fit in one fic? #this one’s holding about 10 so far #also - #once a hurt/comfort writer always a hurt/comfort writer apparently #frankly astounded it took me 50k words to injure one of them #slow burn? #lmao #now that I’m 32 I’m increasingly fond of middle aged wizards lmaooo again #newtina #newt scamander #tina goldstein #autistic newt scamander #fic: with its head under one wing #my stuff #why tf can’t I word vomit about the things I need to when I need to ugh #I have so much to do #anywayyyyy #uefb rambles in the tags

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Tina & Newt, Summer 1946 (after the wars)

#for the oneshot that was meant to be quite tiny but has kept growing #it’s a bit different than my usual stuff which I don’t think is bad but it feels odd bc it’s different nonetheless #I think it will be finished tomorrow if I can get it a name and have time to fix one scene and edit #we shall see #my stuff #fic: unnamed oneshot #tina goldstein #newt scamander #newtina #I quite love those two #oc_ch: Leora Evangeline goldstein Scamander #oc_ch: Ephesus Rafael Goldstein Scamander #fantastic beasts fanfic #uefb rambles in the tags #fic: a home by the sea

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Snippet: Theseus/Lally + a side of autistic Newt

Writing 12 chapters ahead of where I’ve posted thus far (x) and ended up with this.

Newt watched a series of emotions flash across Theseus’ face before he settled on one that—as far as Newt could tell from his own experience—approximated resignation.

“You really got in there, Eulalie,” Theseus finally managed to compliment, looking over the intelligence spread across the table, though the words were somewhat muted due to the degree he was clenching his teeth.

“He does mean it, even if it doesn’t sound like it,” Newt assured from where he leaned against the wall, speaking for the first time since her arrival a quarter hour before. “He’s doing that thing where he is impressed with a person’s behaviour but is also quite worried.” 

He was watching Pickett walk up and down his fingers as he guilelessly continued. 

“So he’s probably trying to choose between reprimanding you and expressing appreciation for your skill, while also balancing the need to respect you as an independent, adult human with whom he has a trusting relationship.”

Theseus and Lally both gaped at him momentarily, and Newt glanced up at their silence, smiling slightly.

“I’ve been your younger brother for 38 years, Theseus.” He explained with a shrug, and he placed Pickett on his shoulder before dropping a hand in his pocket to pick at the stitching. “Plus, Tina is twice as anxious as you, and—contrary to popular belief—I do actually pay attention to human behaviour.”

Lally laughed and smacked Theseus on the arm.

“Well, in that case: I appreciate the concern, love.” 

And she placed a kiss on Theseus’ cheek which made him turn slightly pink, something Newt found rather amusing, so he cast his gaze to the ground.

“But I think you’ll find being me in Muggle America isn’t always much safer, Theseus.”

“You know, Lally— My favorite thing about you has to be your constant reassurance.”

“And my favourite thing about you—”

Newt had been fiddling with his pocket but interrupted them abruptly, for he did not feel it was necessary for him to be present for this—frankly disconcerting—newlywed banter.

“I’m sorry, you two, but can we…?” he gestured at the table. “We are on a bit of a timetable.”

“Oh, yes! Yes - apologies, Newt.”

#theseus scamander #eulalie hicks #lally hicks #newt scamander #autistic newt scamander #thally #theslally #fantastic beasts and where to find them #fantastic beasts fanfic #my stuff #Theseus & Lally as a potential couple didn't even occur to me until someone pointed it out in a note on their fic #i'm so frickin oblivious #but i didn't even notice bunty was crushing on newt so #whatever #i've now made theseus & lally married for convenience sake really #but i'm kinda soft for them now #uefb rambles in the tags #fic: with its head under one wing

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This chapter is really putting me through the ringer, but early-dating Newt & Tina…

…wrestling with autistic vs non-autistic communication styles + the reconciliation that follows almost makes it worth it. Ch1-6

After a largely silent afternoon spent on opposite ends of the couch, wrapped in blankets, their own thoughts, and independent projects, he made it up to her that evening by apparating them to Parke’s Castle at sunset, where he produced a thermos of hot cocoa before working a set of charms on a garish orange afghan he’d spread on the winter-dry grass, creating a tolerable bubble of warmth at the edge of the lake. He then explained to her, in detail, his own system for assessing risk before abruptly shutting up and listening, instead, to her own.

Newt found he was, in fact, mildly frustrated by such forceful commandeering of the conversation, but he was also willing to forgive such an auror-ly approach when the soft light lit her dark hair mahogany in those moments before the sun slipped behind the mountain on the far side of the lake…

And Tina, in turn, excused Newt’s increasing inattention when she noticed the way his eyes began to drift, skyward, with the night’s rapid deepening. Head tilted back and face toward the heavens, he was watching the winter stars emerge above them, until she too had leant back, wide-eyed and silent—

One by one, the stars pricked silver across the ink-dark sky, and Newt shifted minutely on the blanket beside her.

#this chapter is the only thing standing between me and about 6 decently polished chapters nearly ready to go #why is this so hard lmao #oh wait it’s hard bc it’s relationship heavy and I am relationally impaired lmao #and how has this particular scene ended up on the chapter chopping block bc I actually like it so much? #sigh #Tina goldstein #newt Scamander #autistic newt Scamander #subtle sensory seeking behavior too bc I am who I am #newtina #my stuff #fantastic beasts and where to find them #fantastic beasts fanfiction #uefb rambles in the tags #fic: with its head under one wing

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Wow. Me loving Newt Scamander makes SO MUCH SENSE now that I’ve started watching Doctor Who again... 13 is excellent thus far!

#I waged war again cisheteronormativity in undergrad dressed basically like 11 so #this all makes so much sense #the bow ties the suspenders the all across social awkwardness the autism #I was so transparent #hahaha #fandom things #doctor who #fantastic beasts #not fb #technically #uefb rambles #uefb rambles in the tags

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Can’t stop, won’t stop 😭

Have I got almost the entirety of Part 2 and just a smidge of Part 3 written before I’ve even finished the last few chapters of Part 1? 

Absolutely.

I gotta get it done soon or I’ll spoil the whole thing through 1938 😅

#MY BRAIN CAN ONLY FOCUS ON ONE THING AT A TIME AND MY ACTUAL CAREER IS SUFFERING #very mad at capitalism bc I’m a wildly productive person but I focus on one subject at a time in waves #every focus finishes with a good end project #sigh #anyway #AuDHD problems amirite? #Tina goldstein #Achilles tolliver #newt Scamander #newtina #my stuff #fantastic beasts fanfiction #fantastic beasts and where to find them #also omg 1930s language is fascinating I fkn love it #also I have so much in my brain abt interwar history rn that no one understands my jokes rn bc they’re referencing events that are 90 year s #*old #uefb rambles in the tags #fic: with its head under one wing

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I’m finally getting close to posting this story that’s been living in the back of my mind (and my drafts) for 2 months. I think I’ll put the first chapter (1 of 3) up this weekend! ^_^

#it’s been driving me up the wall because there’s a level of depth missing from it that I want to be there #like it’s going to be a decent little story #but I’ve need to spend a few hours shaking it like a puzzle in a box for that last piece to make itself known #and I think I’ll have time to do that tomorrow - before diving back into phd he’ll #*hell #anyway #my stuff #fic: the most vicious creatures on the planet #uefb rambles in the tags #newt Scamander #this story also has leta and Dumbledore and theseus in it ^_^ #fantastic beasts #fantastic beasts fanfic