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swfanficbyjz · 6 years

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SW Rey Theory - Legacy of Light - Chapter 26

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(10 and 11 years after Return of the Jedi)

Ashla stared numbly out the transparisteel glass of the Millennium Falcon as Nyx jumped the ship into hyperspace. It was strange to be back on this ship, but it felt good to be somewhere familiar again. She knew better than to be worried about her mom now, but she was tired of feeling guilty that her mom had to save her sorry butt. As if Ahsoka didn’t have enough to worry about, now she was causing her more trouble. One of these days she was going to get her killed, and that scared her. She bit her lip and glanced over at her uncle that she hadn’t seen for fifteen years. She’d been so lost in thought, she didn’t realize he was studying her. “What?”

“Nothing…” he looked away, brushing his long dark hair out of his eyes. He looked thinner than she remembered, and paler. Was he still drinking so much?

“Thank you for picking me up,” she said nervously, expecting him to be angry that he’d had to get involved with her again. She had no idea how her mom had found him and gotten here so fast, but she was grateful. “I don’t mean to cause you trouble.” He sighed and leaned his head back against the chair.

“You aren’t trouble, Ashla,” he murmured, closing his eyes. She wanted to ask him why that wasn’t what it felt like sometimes, but maybe it was better to let it go. She couldn’t remember the last time he was this quiet and not upset about something. She wondered what had changed since the last time she’d seen him. They’d kept in touch over the years, but not a lot was said about where they were or what they were doing. So the conversations were brief and sporadic. She’d missed him, despite knowing that he’d probably been happy to be rid of her after dropping her off at the enclave. “I’m sorry,” he said after awhile. “I should have taken better care of you.”

“Uncle Nyx…” tears welled up in her eyes and she hopped up to hug him. “You did take good care of me. I didn’t understand it before, but I do now. You were scared, and after what I’ve seen, I understand why.”

“But it was my job as your guardian to protect you and I didn’t,” he patted her awkwardly on the arm and she let go. She’d forgotten he wasn’t as openly affectionate as Rex had been.

“You can’t blame yourself.”

“But I do.” He stared at his feet. “When your mother showed up on my doorstep, I liked her right away. She gave me a hard time, pressuring me into letting her stay while I got beat up by thugs looking for some money I owed them. I don’t remember what all happened, but when I came to, they were gone and Ahsoka was standing over me offering to help me up. I never did figure out how she got rid of them, since there weren’t any cops nearby, but I was too grateful to care. After seeing the way she fought that guy back there, well… I guess I finally have an answer. Now I feel pretty foolish for all my rants to her about how much I hated Jedi. Without her help, I think my business would have tanked. She pulled me out of a bad place, kept debt collectors off my back and helped out around the shop. I was nervous about the future when she told me she was pregnant, I had no idea what to expect. Dealing with kids was not my forte. She was so patient with me, she let me help take care of you even though I wasn’t your father and I guess I fell in love with you a bit quicker than I wanted to admit to anyone.” He fell silent for awhile. She kept hoping he’d continue, but he didn’t.

“My mom said that even though leaving me behind was the hardest choice she ever had to make, she trusted you,” she smiled reassuringly at him.

“I don’t know why. I badmouthed her old life, I badmouthed your father, I even badmouthed her…”

She reached out and squeezed his hand. “Jedi can sense things. She knew that in your heart you were a good person and that you’d take care of me as if I were your own, and you did.” She tried to sit back down but felt something inside her and she almost missed the seat. “Whoa.”

“Are you alright?” he asked as she hunched back against the seat.

“Yeah, I'm just tired." She stared straight ahead wondering if it meant what she thought it did. She shook it off, she'd been through a lot today and frankly, she didn't trust her senses right now. She hoped she’d be able to trust them again after what happened with Starkiller. "Nyx?”

“Hmm?”

“What changed? Why are you suddenly so… uh… nice?” She blushed realizing that probably wasn’t how she should have asked him what was going through his mind.

“I guess I’m turning into an old softie,” he smirked at her and looked away.

“Seriously, what gives? You’re acting weird.” She rolled her eyes.

“Something your mother said before she jumped out…” she held her breath wondering if he’d actually tell her what that was.

“Well? What?” she begged him to continue.

“All these years I’ve stupidly believed that I’d gotten stuck raising you when that wasn’t at all what I thought I wanted to do. I resented her for the trouble it caused me. Meanwhile, she’d been wishing it was her that had you. That she’d gotten to be the one there and not me. The ironic part, I suppose… was that if your mother had been interested in being with me, I would have helped raise you anyways.” He looked up at her and she watched him curiously. “I don’t think she ever wanted me like that, mind you, but I kept hoping maybe she would if she saw what I did for you. Then seeing her again, wowee… it took my breath away.” His eyes widened, and he looked at her. “Don’t tell her I said that. I shouldn’t have said that.” He leapt to his feet and left the cockpit mumbling to himself and she stared after him confused.

She shook her head, smiling. So that was the main reason he’d put up with her for so long? He was still madly in love with her mother. It didn’t really surprise her to learn that. Everyone she’d ever talked to that had known her mother was enamored by her. And why shouldn’t they be? She was amazing! She was powerful, strong, soft, kind, brilliant... Ezra had admired her. Rex respected her and would do anything for her. Chewbacca had cared for her. Her father, who’d married a queen, had fallen in love with her. Ahsoka was just that type of person; you couldn’t help but love her.

She glanced down at her belly. She wasn't sure how she felt about sensing she could be pregnant. She thought she'd loved Galen. They'd definitely had chemistry, but after finding out who he really was... the idea that she was carrying his child made her nervous. She wanted to be a mother, at least she'd known for sure she did after making that deal with her own mom years ago. This was not how she’d imagined it, but maybe now that her mom was back from wherever she'd gone for so long, maybe they could finally be together. Maybe her mom would help her raise it. Although she hoped Ahsoka wouldn't be disappointed to find out Starkiller was the father.

Thinking about her mom reminded her that she’d just left her to fend for herself with dozens of crazy acolytes closing in around her and Starkiller intent on killing her. She tipped her head back, reaching into the force. “Mom? Are you still there?”

“Of course, I am, love.” Ashla smiled the moment her mom’s voice came through. “It takes more than a raging maniac to bring me down. You should know that by now.”

“I do, I do,” she laughed. Her mom sounded lighter, but still so serious. Like she knew something Ashla didn't. She didn’t know enough to understand the whole weight of what Starkiller had been trying to do to her, but the way her mom had reacted when she’d said they had dad’s helmet… Her mom had reacted in fear. It had crashed through her so strongly it had startled her. She’d never felt her mother afraid before. If she had been, she’d hid it well. Her mom had always known what to do, what to say. She seemed so sure of herself all the time, and Ashla wanted nothing more than to live up to that; to become that confident.

So if her mother was afraid of this, she was too. This was bigger than she thought. She stared out the transparisteel glass and tried to relax, but a deep sense of foreboding settled inside her. They’d dismantled the Empire before, they could face this threat too, right?

---

"I need to, uh, meditate," Luke looked away nervously after Leia went to check on her son. Ahsoka watched him tiredly for a moment but didn't move. Seeing him in person after so long was strange. He was almost a spitting image of Anakin, but she could see Padmé’s softness in him. Life and responsibility had been thrust at him with such force it was amazing he was standing so strongly in the light. This was the child that had tipped the balance in his father and brought him back to her. If only he knew how much that meant to her. Maybe someday she would tell him. Or maybe not. Well Padmé, your children turned out just fine. I think you’d be proud. I just wish after what we’ve all been through, that things were getting better not worse. I promise I’ll try to help them as best I can.

"Master Yoda. Master Kenobi. Anakin… If you're there, we need a word," she said aloud, crossing her arms in front of her.

"Oh right... I forgot you… wait..." Luke didn't get to finish his thought as the three force ghosts appeared in the room.

"It's good to see you again, Ahsoka."

"I wish it was under better circumstances," she brushed off Obi wan's words, not in the mood for false pleasantries. She paced back and forth as she recited everything she possibly could about what she'd learned on Taris, without of course, mentioning that Ashla was her daughter. She tried to ignore the way Anakin watched her carefully. The others were distracted by the words she'd said, but he’d always been in tune with more than that. He knew something else troubled her and she wasn't ready to say what.

Once they were deep in conversation about the information she'd delivered, she slipped out and made her way to her daughter's room. She sat down on the bed and dropped her face in her hands, sighing deeply. It wasn't long before she felt Anakin join her. She should have known he'd follow her here. Didn’t he have bigger things to worry about? This was about his family after all.

"I sense there's something else that's bothering you about this." He sat next to her on the bed.

"That's because there is," she sighed again. She was too tired to cry now, she just felt numb. Why couldn't the dark side stop needing to rule the galaxy for five minutes?

"Talk to me, Snips." He reached for her hand and she let him take it. At least the flicker of electricity she felt gave her hope she wasn't too far gone.

"Starkiller said that they were trying to resurrect Darth Vader. I don't know if that's possible, but I have a feeling that if they manage it, you're not going to come back to life as this. You'll be something twisted and dark; and possibly worse than before. I can't lose you again, Anakin. My heart can't take it. I'm getting too old for this." She wished she could lean her head down on his shoulder or fold herself in his arms, but even though he sometimes felt solid, she knew she'd only go right through him. Which would be considerably less satisfying. She was capable of curling up in a ball all by herself, doing it with him there would only exaggerate the pain.

"You won't lose me, Ahsoka."

"You don't know that.” She threw her other hand up in frustration. “I'm tired of fighting. It's all I've ever done. Every time I think I could lay down my lightsabers and walk away, something else happens."

"You don't have to get involved in it. This isn’t your fight. You've warned Leia, you've warned Luke. Let them worry about it now. You've done more than anyone can ask of you," he smiled reassuringly at her, but he didn't understand. He didn't know the whole truth. It wasn't that simple. Their fight was her fight, because she had a daughter that also belonged to him. They might not be her blood, but they were still her family in a way.

"I can't stop, Anakin. I have too much to fight for."

"This is about more than losing me, isn't it?" He tipped her chin back.

"Yes."

"Tell me."

"I can't, Anakin. Someday I will, I promise, but I'm not ready yet." Her eyes burned with the millions of tears she'd already shed over this. Why couldn't she just tell him about their daughter? Why did she hold it back now? She had nothing to lose... and yet, it felt like she had everything to lose...

"Ahsoka..." he was interrupted by Luke's call from the hallway.

"Dad?"

"Go, your son needs you," she breathed, gesturing to the door.

"What about you?" he looked back at her sadly.

"I'll be okay." At least she hoped she would be. He hesitated a moment longer and then left her sitting there alone. Ashla was safe; she was with Nyx. She was out of Starkiller's grasp. She'd be okay now. But she'd just found out her daughter was pregnant, and it felt like history was repeating itself. Only this time around, it was far worse than before, and somehow the stakes felt so much higher.

She scoured the room for any of Ashla's belongings she'd left behind, put them in her bag and left Devoran behind her. It was time to confer with Morai and learn everything she possibly could about these acolytes. Morai had told her something very disturbing on Taris; she wasn't the only one that had escaped Mortis in a new form. Her brother; the Son... Ren… was still alive, and he might be the one behind all this. Which meant, this wasn't just a small-time cult with delusions of grandeur. It was a far bigger threat than any of them were ready to face. He'd had far too many years to build it before being discovered. Why hadn’t she connected the dots before?

---

“What’s the matter?” Ashla studied the faraway look her uncle got as he held her newborn child. The fallen walker they’d made home in the middle of the desert on Jakku was… well it would do for now. It was private. It was far from everything, and after the Empire’s horrible defeat here, it was the last place anybody would think to look for them. Hopefully…

“Nothing. I was just remembering what it was like to hold you for the first time. I delivered you too, you know. It’s come full circle I guess,” he smiled at her and brushed his jet-black hair back out of his eyes.

“You delivered me?” she laughed, sitting up on the bed. She wished her mom was here right now, but as usual Ahsoka had far more pressing matters to attend to. She wondered how Luke was doing. If they’d been able to help Ben. Her mom had told her not to worry about it, but she did. For the second time she’d been taken away from her brother; her family. Just when she’d thought things were finally looking up. She’d locked away her mother’s lightsabers and sworn that she wasn’t going to do anything that could draw attention to them here. But if this child ended up being a force user, she wanted it to learn too. She’d have to worry about that when it got older.

“Well obviously I didn’t do the work, but I caught you when you came out. Don’t sound so surprised!” Nyx had chosen to stay with her for awhile after they’d found this place. She was grateful to not be alone. He’d changed a lot in fifteen years. He didn’t drink anymore, but he still liked to gamble too much. She got the impression that he was trying to make it up to her mother for all the years he’d resented her. She didn’t care why he stayed, she was just glad he did. He came around and handed the little girl to her. “So, what are you going to name it?”

She was instantly in love with the infant in her arms. She thought about what her mom had said about how she got her own name. Then she remembered what Ezra had said to her; about how she lit up the room like her mother, and for the first time, she fully understood how something so amazing and good could be born of darkness; as though the sun had finally peeked out from behind the clouds. She smiled, unable to hold in the joy she felt. “Rey. Her name is Rey.”

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swfanficbyjz · 6 years

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SW Rey Theory - Legacy of Light - Chapter 18

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(After A New Hope)

Ashla sat in a corner of her cabin, running her fingers over her mother’s lightsabers. All she’d been able to tell Rex about what had happened was that she’d tapped into something she never should have. A nightmare of sorts after everything she’d witnessed. She’d gotten the impression that calling it a nightmare hadn’t calmed him at all, but she didn’t know what else to call it. It was a nightmare. If that was her father, if that was what was left of him… what else besides nightmare came close to explaining the experience? Nightmares shake you up from the inside out. They make you afraid; they make you question everything, and that’s exactly what it had done.

The way her mom had talked to Starkiller, so callously; so coldly about her fight with her father. She’d defended who he’d once been while practically condemning what he’d become. Something about it had disturbed her deeply. As though her mom no longer cared what happened to herself. When she’d asked Rex about it, he’d said it was customary to taunt the enemy, it helped diffuse stress and fear; and that in the face of the dark side it often provoked the enemy into being careless, since they had a hard time controlling their emotions like the Jedi. That made sense, but there was something more to it that bothered her. Watching her mother kill people had been difficult. It flew in the face of the tenderness that had been all Ashla had ever known from her mother. It wasn’t the death that bothered her though, it had been her eyes; they’d seemed so cold. When she fought it was like something took over her; her normally warm blue eyes gave way to a darker, more predatory look. Was that because she was Togruta? Or was it years of training or war? Or was there an evilness that lurked in her as well?

She’d been watching her mom fight, in awe by her moves; though she feared for her safety. Starkiller had been fierce, but Ahsoka had danced around him as though she was untouchable. Everything had been happening so fast. She’d stood there feeling helpless, Rex gripping her shoulders. When she’d seen Starkiller charge at Ahsoka, she’d panicked; realizing too late that her outcry had almost cost her mother. Then just like that, she’d been dragged away from her again; forced to leave her behind, to go on the run. Another place, another home, another person watching over her; more unknown.

She opened her mother’s lightsabers and pulled out the kyber crystals in each of them. She sat back against the bunk, watching them flicker in the harsh light of the ship. They pulsed softly in her hands which gave her a small sense of relief. It meant her mom had survived the explosion. It felt as though a shadow had fallen across them, or within them. She was alive, but she didn’t feel alive. There was a sense of sorrow that pulsed from them; indifference, acceptance…. Almost as though her mother had given up. Her fire had gone out. She’d lost her will to fight.

She wanted to beg Rex to go back. Her mom needed them, but she knew what he’d say. She looked up as he entered her room. He glanced at the empty lightsaber hilts on the floor and the crystals in her hands and then he sat down on the bed across from her and handed her a cup of tea. She took it gratefully, blowing on it before taking a sip.

“How are you doing, Lil’un?” he asked. She looked up at him over the steaming mug in her hand. He seemed unnaturally old, as though the years had done him no services. Had he always been older? His hair had been white as long as she’d known him, but it was something in his eyes that made him seem that way.

“I’m okay, I guess,” she replied, looking down at the crystals still pulsing sadly in her hand. “And at the same time, not okay at all.” She blew air out her nose as she exhaled in a deep sigh.

“I understand,” he whispered. She saw a shadow flicker in his eyes too. He did understand. “Us clones were created for one purpose; to fight for the Republic. We were designed to be disposable; an army of faceless soldiers that no one had to pretend to care about. Everything we felt, we had to keep to ourselves. Duty came first. Good soldiers follow orders.”

She stopped herself before reacting in surprise. She didn’t know he was a clone. She supposed she had known about the clones; from stories her uncle Nyx had told her, but it hadn’t dawned on her there were any still out there. She’d never met one before. Unless the stormtroopers were clones too. “That’s horrible,” she said sincerely.

“I suppose so,” he said thoughtfully. “I never let myself think about it. It only distracted me from my duty. I loved all my brothers, and every one that fell was another mark on my helmet. Not everyone treated us as disposable though. Your mother and father were two that saw us as individuals. Even among the Jedi, they were exceptions to the norm. It was a great honor to serve with them. I’d do it again in a heartbeat.”

“How did you survive it? So much death and pain?” she asked. It made her feel better to hear that her mom and dad cared so much, even wherever they both were now.

“It wasn’t easy, but we had a purpose, and that was enough. Finding purpose was easy during the war though. You either fought for the Republic or you fought for yourself. Now, it’s not so black and white. Sometimes fighting for yourself or those around you, is all you can do. If you didn’t, what would be the point of victory? Personally, I’d rather fight for a hundred years with the people I love than for two years and have no one left to go home to.”

She took another sip of her tea, the warm liquid felt good in her sore throat. He was right, she hadn’t fought in the war, but purpose was hard to find. It’s something she’d been struggling with ever since Nyx had dropped her off at the enclave. Before that, it had revolved around taking care of him and keeping him alive. For months after settling in there, she’d struggled with it. She didn’t know what to do with herself, often getting lost exploring or building things to keep her mind occupied. Then Ezra had come along and he’d offered her, quite accidentally, another purpose; searching for her mother. In the meantime, she could be useful to the rebellion by repairing ships and equipment; services they’d desperately needed. It had felt good again, to be useful. That’s all she’d wanted when she pressured her mother into letting her accompany them on the mission to grab the supply ship. Instead, she’d gotten in the way, she’d been a distraction. She wasn’t competent enough in any kind of fighting to face enemies like that. Then after trying to find her father, she had nothing to offer there either. She felt like she was drifting along, as though the tide had swept her out to sea. From what she felt in her mother’s lightsaber crystals, she was struggling with the same thing.

Her mom had told her that knowing she was out there and safe gave her a reason to keep fighting, but all Ashla had wanted was her here or to be there with her. She’d rather fight every day of her life getting to be with her, than never seeing her.

“Rex,” she said suddenly. “I think my mom is hurting real bad. Not from an injury or anything, but like you just said, a lack of purpose.”

“What makes you say that?” he asked concerned.

She put down the cup she was holding and took his and put it aside. Then she dropped one of her mom’s crystals into his hand, closing his fingers around it. “Close your eyes.” He seemed skeptical, but he did so anyways. “Can you feel it, the heartbeat?”

He opened his mouth to respond, but then furrowed his brow like he was concentrating on something. “Yes,” he said finally.

“It’s slow and pained. She’s just as lost as we are,” she said sadly. He nodded absentmindedly.

“It sounds to me like she needs you then.,” he whispered. “She told me about the force bond you two have. Go to her. Remind her of her purpose and find your own.” She smiled suddenly and sat up so she could hug him.

“Thank you,” she kissed him on the cheek. “But what about you?”

“I know my purpose; watching over you,” he ruffled her hair and made her laugh.

“Hopefully I won’t be too much trouble.”

“You forget, I served with your parents,” he stood up and stretched. “I’m used to trouble.”

Being with Rex was a welcome change. It wasn’t that she didn’t miss her uncle; he had raised her after all, but now she didn’t have to hide who she was or what she could do. Even if Rex didn’t fully understand because he wasn’t a force user himself, he did his best to listen to the things that she talked about. He encouraged her growth in it, he didn’t make her feel ashamed of it, and he most certainly wasn’t scared of it.

---

Ashla reached deep into the force, like she had when she’d gone looking for her father, except this time, she was going to push through to the other side. She was going to be where her mother was so she couldn’t ignore her; just like her mom had come all the way through to her sometimes. If she wasn’t allowed to be there physically, she would be there in the force. The need to help her mother after everything she’d talked about with Rex, gave her a new sense of purpose. There was so much she didn’t know about her parents’ lives, but together they could heal it. Maybe after everything that had happened, her mom would finally let her in completely. Maybe she’d no longer hold back or mince her words. She didn’t need to know every detail, but she needed to understand. If pushing past her comfort zone to do that was what it took, she’d do it.

“Mom?” she asked aloud as the scenery around her came into view. She wasn’t sure where she was, but it reminded her a bit of the enclave; it was a very wild place.

“Ashla?” Ahsoka sat up in surprise. “What are you doing here?” she asked, looking around for a ship.

“I could feel your pain, so I came to you this time.” Her mother looked as though she was about to cry, but got up, came around the fire and pulled her into her arms. She was grateful to be in her mom’s arms again. Nothing felt more right than that. She was too tall to bury her face in her neck now though, like she’d done a million times before. She’d never minded her mom’s lekku, they weren’t as awkward as they seemed. Stiff, but soft, and flexible enough to move out of the way.

They embraced for a long time, neither of them wanted to let go. Rex had been right, they’d find purpose in each other. “I know, it’s dangerous. I shouldn’t have come,” she said finally, looking up at her mom’s face.

Ahsoka softened and kissed her on the forehead, “I’m glad you’re here.” No lecture, no warning, no scolding.

“Do you still love dad?” she asked.

“Yes,” her mom said, running her long fingers down the side of her face.

“Even after everything he’s become?”

“Yes,” she repeated and then sighed softly.

“Do you know why he turned to the dark side?”

“I don’t,” Ahsoka said sadly, and they sat down side by side on a nearby rock. “I think he was afraid, and he didn’t want to be afraid anymore. People do stupid things when they’re afraid. It’s why the Jedi taught to push past emotions and do everything from a place of calm. To others, it made them seem cold and indifferent, but in clarity, you can better understand the full weight of the choice you’re making. It’s not easy though, to push aside emotions. Especially in a war when everything around you can scare you half to death. Fears run rampant, and so does the need to connect, belong and not feel so alone. But when you have to watch death happen all around you on a daily basis, so the need to not feel alone can drive you to a place of obsession; where you dread or fear the day you might lose them too. I ached over every loss, it doesn’t get easier, you don’t learn to not care. I was raised as a Jedi from a very young age, but your father was brought to the temple much later on. He was taken from his mother at an age where he’d remember her. Most of us come to the temple before we have any memories of our parents. It allows us to be raised in an environment where we can learn to avoid attachments and keep that clarity. They believed him to be the ‘Chosen One.’ Someone who was destined to bring balance to the force, and they believed, that meant he’d kill all the Sith. Their belief that he was, is really the only reason they agreed to train him so late in development. His pre-attachment to people outside of the order, I think caused him to attach more to the people around him. He loved people deeply, because, well, he hadn’t been raised in an environment where that was frowned upon.”

“You weren’t allowed to love?” Ashla asked in surprise.

“Not really, no, but it wasn’t love that was the problem, it was learning to let go when you needed to. In war, you have to make choices constantly about who to save. It’s part of being a leader. The point was, you weren’t supposed to sacrifice a thousand lives for the life of one. Which makes sense. So, it became easier to preach not to love than teach how to let go.”

“That sounds terrible.”

“It was terrible,” her mother said sadly. “Letting go is difficult. I never mastered it either, and now, with you…” she squeezed her closer. “It’s even harder. After leaving the order, I still had attachments. I still loved people. When the war ended, I was forced to let go whether I wanted to or not. People that I loved were ripped from my life.”

“Then how come you didn’t turn evil?”

Ahsoka smiled at her, “Because I had you, and I had Rex. I had a reason to push through it. When I struggled, when I had doubts, I’d just remind myself that giving into the pain wouldn’t change it or make it go away. I just kept putting one foot in front of the other. It never made it hurt less, but it was one more day it couldn’t control me, and sometimes, that was a victory in itself.”

Ashla looked up at her. Even though what they were talking about was sad, her mom sounded lighter than when she’d first gotten here. She pulled the lightsaber crystals out of her pocket and felt them. The heartbeat was stronger now; it didn’t seem so pained. Her mother tipped her head and looked down at them. Ashla reached for her hand and dropped them into it. She watched as her mom’s expression changed, as though she’d just flickered through a thousand memories.

“It’s hard to believe it’s only been twenty years since I last held these. It feels like centuries ago. So much has changed… and so have I,” her mother murmured.

“I can feel the crystals,” Ashla said. “Or rather the life in them. That’s how I knew you were still alive after fighting dad. And again, tonight, when I felt your pain. I can feel it through them.”

“Is that so?” Ahsoka said, looking over the ones she’d given her.

“They’re like a container. They hold a piece of the person they choose to bond with,” she said excitedly. “As long as they're still alive, I can feel their heartbeat through it.” Her mom didn’t answer right away, she wondered what she was thinking. Maybe she already knew that and it wasn’t that impressive of a discovery.

“This weapon is your life,” her mother said almost trancelike.

“That’s what Ezra said too.”

Ahsoka looked up at her, and then handed her back the crystals and pulled out her own lightsabers. She flipped them open and pulled out those crystals. She put them in her hands next to her old ones.

Ashla screwed up her face, “These are different. They don’t feel like you.”

“I took these off an inquisitor, a year after leaving my old ones behind. They called to me, they seemed familiar. I assumed they were my old ones that had been taken back to the temple and then stolen by the Sith. When a Sith takes a kyber crystal, they bend it to their will, rather than work in harmony with it. In its natural state, it’s blue or green, sometimes yellow and purple. By bending them, they do what is known as ‘bleeding the crystal;’ essentially causing it pain. I always thought that meant the crystal was alive, but you said they hold a piece of whoever they bonded with. That would mean they’re not bleeding the crystal at all, they’re trying to bend the original owner’s life force to their will. Which actually better explains why the Sith lightsabers are always red. They’re hurting the life inside the crystal.”

"Bleeding the crystal," Ashla repeated, deep in thought. She set her mother's crystals in her lap, holding only the ones she uses now. She reached into the force, feeling for them. "No heartbeats," she whispered sadly. "They belonged to two different people, possibly people you might have known. You healed them but didn't bond with them. They work for you, because they're grateful you restored them to their balanced state." She opened her eyes and saw her mom watching her with a curious expression. "What?" she asked nervously.

"You could tell all that just by holding them?"

"Yeah... why? Isn't that something Jedi can do?"

"Not any that I've heard of. It's possible to use other people's lightsabers, but tricky long term because they don't feel natural and never fully work for you. That makes sense if you're using someone else's spirit. Sith can do it only because they don't care about the unnaturalness of it or its natural state, so they twist them into submission. Using your own lightsaber feels like an extension of your own hand, like it's part of your limb. Which also makes sense if it's holding a piece of yourself in it. But the idea that a crystal could willingly work for you in a natural way without being a part of you, well that's unheard of. So are white lightsabers. I've wondered about that for years. You say I restored them to their balanced state, not to the light?" her mother said.

"Yes. That's what it felt like it was telling me anyways."

"That is fascinating. These new lightsabers feel right in my hands, different from my old ones, but I thought that was because I was different. I guess I didn't realize they were consciously working with me even though they didn't have to. I wonder who they belonged to."

"I might be able to tell you if I meditated with them further," Ashla said.

Her mother smiled at her, but shook her head, "It's probably better not to know."

She was about to argue but then she remembered the reason she'd come in the first place. "Mom?"

"Hmm?"

"Have you lost your purpose?" she asked.

Ahsoka looked momentarily surprised and then turned and stared at the fire. Ashla watched the reflection of the flames in her mother's eyes wondering if she'd close her out again. "I think I did for awhile there," she said finally. Ashla linked her arm with hers and leaned onto her shoulder. "So much of my life has been fighting and loss. I never really had a chance to do anything else. I was scared when I left the Jedi order, it was the only life I'd ever known. The only thing I thought I could be. I was looking forward to being a mother, and that kept me going. Then I got sucked back into the war and it felt like I was being taken away from you. I could have gone back, I suppose. I would have risked it, but... I wasn't sure how I could protect you in this new world I didn't even understand. As hard as it was, I just kept telling myself you'd be safer with Nyx, and I went back to the only thing I knew; fighting. I told myself it was for you. That kept me going. I missed you so much, every day I wanted to go back for you. It got harder to stay away, but easier to convince myself the world I lived in was no place for you. It was not the world I wanted you to grow up in. It was definitely not the one I'd planned for you when I thought we had a future," Ahsoka sighed deeply and fell silent. Ashla squeezed her arm, feeling tears well up in her eyes. "When I thought I lost your father, you were all I had left of him too. I needed to believe that he was still alive out there somewhere, even if it was only through you. So, keeping you away became an obsession. I had to protect you. I couldn't bear to lose you both. See what I mean about how fear makes you do stupid things?"

"Maybe you were right to keep me away. I don't know how to fight people like Starkiller, I'd only get you killed," Ashla said sadly.

"Not if I'd trained you like I should have. I guess I wanted you to have a life I never had. I wanted you to fall in love and settle down, have a family of your own. I didn't want you out there having to fight a war against a seemingly unstoppable foe. I know you think that you're not special or not capable because I keep telling you to hide, but you're wrong Ashla. Your father and I had no choice, we lived to serve the will of the Republic and the will of the force. We didn't try to be heroes, we never saw ourselves as that. We just did the best we could with the cards we were dealt. You have the opportunity to pick your life. You can go anywhere and do anything. You can play any cards you want. I fight for that. I fight because that is my life. I don't have that luxury. I can't walk on to any planet I choose and do whatever I want. That makes you far more special than us. Your life is what you make it. So when I push you away, Ashla, I'm not telling you to hide. I'm telling you to live. I fight for you. You live for me. Deal?"

Tears streamed down her face at her mother's words. "I don't want you to fight for me. I just want you here. Why can't we both live?"

"I have too much to lose if I stop fighting now," Ahsoka said, taking her face in both her hands and brushing away the tears. "You are my purpose, Ashla. You are the life I never had. You are the reason I'm still alive. I lost myself a few times, I let my attachment to your father distract me. But I need you, Ashla. I do. I need you to be my light. Will you do that?"

She nodded numbly, too overwhelmed with emotion to speak now. Her mom pulled her into another hug. Again, they held each other for a long time.

If this was the way it had to be, then she would live the best life she could for her. She'd make a life. She'd let herself fall in love, she'd have a family of her own.

"Deal," she whispered finally.

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SW Rey Theory - Legacy of Light - Chapter 16

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(End of A New Hope, during rebel assault on the first Death Star)

"Rex, get her out of here!" Ahsoka shouted, from the other side of the room as she tried to keep Starkiller busy. It wasn't hard he didn't seem to care about anyone else. She regretted returning to the rebellion as she saw the dead bodies around her. Either Vader had sent his new apprentice after her, or he'd gotten the idea that killing her would please his master. Whatever the reason, these people were all dead because of her. This was why she'd tried to keep Ashla away from this. She knew that her daughter was no stranger to death; Nyx and his smuggling buddies got into more than enough trouble that resulted in someone shooting someone else. But a war was a different thing entirely. At least she knew Rex would stay with her. Knowing that was the only thing that made sending her away again okay. She wished every day for the fighting to end so she could have just a little more time with the light of her life.

Ashla was everything she'd always imagined her to be, and so much more. She was snarky like she used to be, her smirk made her feel like she was staring in the face of her old master. She was also soft and loving; balanced and far less volatile than her father. She had his impulsiveness though, and his sense for machines, and according to Rex, his ability to fix, upgrade and reinvent them. She hated to admit how much she'd give anything to go on adventures with her. It would be like Anakin was by her side again; just maybe a little less crazy. It was a wasted dream, she knew that. The past was gone, and she would not encourage his destructive behaviors in Ashla just so she could relive the glory days; if you could call them that. Protecting her daughter, making the galaxy a better place for her... it gave her life purpose. It gave her something to fight for. After so much loss... so much pain... she had to preserve it at all costs, even if it meant she never got to see her again.

"But...!" Rex started to argue. She appreciated his loyalty, but right now, her daughter's life was more important than hers. There was no one she trusted with it more than him.

"That's an order!" she replied, ducking under Starkiller's aggressive slashes.

"Yes, sir!" Rex obediently exclaimed, and they disappeared from sight. Ahsoka breathed a little easier knowing they'd be safe now.

---

"What about my mom?" Ashla cried, looking over her shoulder as Rex pulled her along behind him.

"She'll be fine," he said gruffly, pushing her forward into the ship and starting the engine. Ashla sat down in the copilot seat and looked over at him. Her heart ached. Was she about to lose her mother again? Rex sounded confident as he focused on the task of getting them away from there, but she sensed fear in him, and pain; strong pain. He believed he was losing her again too.

"How can you be so sure?" she asked, needing any kind of reassurance she could get. The way Starkiller had fought... was like nothing she'd ever seen. Even with Ezra's training, she couldn't imagine matching something like that. She'd been so foolish! So eager to do anything to convince her mother to let her stay. Who was she kidding? She couldn't fight! Not soldiers like that! She was good with a blaster, but the Sith agents had cut through those in a matter of seconds. Her lightsaber skills, natural though they were, were sorely lacking. Maybe she'd have a chance if her mother trained her... but that would never happen. Her mother wanted her to hide. Just hide. What good did that do anyone? She wanted to learn, she wanted to fight. She was tired of feeling weak and helpless. Tired of everyone sacrificing their lives for her. She wanted to defend herself. She wanted to be as strong as her mother. Maybe even as strong as her father.

"She's survived worse, Lil'un. That's what she's best at; surviving. And it’s time you learn that skill," Rex said finally. An explosion behind their ship rocked it, right as they jumped to hyperspace.

"Mom!" Ashla cried, running from the cockpit, knowing full well that she wouldn't see her. She wouldn’t see anything.

Rex found her crying against the loading ramp door. She was grateful for his presence; grateful to not be alone right now, but she couldn't form the words to tell him that. Her chest felt tight. Had her mom escaped the ship before it had exploded? She couldn't find a calm enough to reach for her to find out. The truth was, she was scared she wouldn't be there if she did; like the last time. She secretly wished she could go to her father, or Luke... or someone that fully understood the loss she felt right now. Rex had told her that Anakin's mother, her grandmother, had died just before he met her father; when he was her age. That he never fully got over it, and was very protective of those around him because of it. Luke had never said the words, but he'd lived with his aunt and uncle, never knowing either of his parents, only that they'd died. And after seeing his sorrow when they’d talked, he must have lost his guardians too. She wondered how many other kids out there had a similar story of loss or pain. Was the Empire to blame for all of it? Or something more?

Rex sat down on the cold metal floor next to her. He didn't say anything at first, but she liked him here. If there was even a chance her family could be a real family, she’d still want Rex there. In some ways he was more family than her mom and dad. Probably because in him, lived the memories of better times, and he was here, when they weren't.

"You know…" he said suddenly. She looked up at him as he leaned his head back against the closed loading ramp. "When I first met your mother, she sassed the pants off your father. She had no respect for authority, believing that her Jedi title would automatically earn her respect. Their first mission together was to sneak through enemy lines and disable a shield so that we had a chance at destroying the endless waves of clankers coming our way. I'll never forget that day. They left to complete their mission arguing the whole way. No one was really sure if they'd succeed or kill each other." A sad smile crossed his lips as he remembered. "They returned triumphant, and boy did your mother have a story to tell. How they'd bested innumerable droids and how she'd saved her master's life by pulling down a wall. Not wanting to be upstaged, your father claimed it hadn't happened quite that dramatically. They were so competitive, the two of them. Everything was a game and they always kept score. It wasn't very professional, but it made the war seem less... terrible..." he sighed and glanced over at her. "My point is, I suppose, I watched them walk away from more things that should have killed them than you'd think possible. I still have no idea how they did it, but they did. They watched out for each other. She's fighting this battle so you don't have to; she's watching out for you. I know it's hard, but she is strong and brave. You are too, Ashla. I see both your parents in you. Honor them by surviving. Watch out for them and for others and protect what they stood for."

"I want to," she said finally. The story he told filled her heart. Hearing the way her parents were, she didn't think she could ever hear enough of it. It made them feel closer. It was hard to picture her mom disrespecting authority though, she was so calm and balanced. Or so she seemed now. She supposed that's what growing up did. "I just wish I didn't feel so helpless. I want to fight, I want to do something. But instead, I just keep getting people into worse situations."

Rex reached out and patted her on the arm. "It's part of learning, Lil’un. Even veterans make mistakes. You can't blame yourself. Doing so only cripples you and gives the enemy the advantage. Acknowledge mistakes when they're made and do better next time."

"What happened to my dad?" she changed the subject when a thought occurred to her. She really needed to know.

"I can't say for sure," he whispered. "Your mother suggested that perhaps his deep emotions and fear got the best of him. I'm not a Jedi though, I don't know how all the light side and dark side stuff works. Anakin was a complicated person. He was brilliant and powerful, but he hid so many things about himself. He never talked about his past, he resented the title everyone had given him; they believed he was some ‘chosen one.’ He loved people deeply, even though the Jedi forbade attachments. He was a bit... unconventional at times, but he pulled more victories out of his hat than any other general at the time. But as your mother has told me, victory at any cost is not truly victory. The Jedi believed in a very specific type of victory, one that held true to their beliefs. Your father wasn't always so good at following those rules. He was an incredible leader, but he could be reckless and impulsive; things that tended to put people around him in unprecedented danger. It wasn't because he didn't care about them of course, but it did cause a lot of problems." He paused and scratched his bald head. "He was afraid of loss though, afraid of the people he loved dying or leaving. He'd risk entire missions to save one person. One time, he even risked a whole squadron to rescue his droid; R2D2. Brilliant little thing, but that was a rough mission for the books. Only two clones survived. Your mother went face to face with General Grievous, one of the worst enemies we faced during the war. She was still barely a padawan, how she survived her encounter without help, I'll never know. Far more experienced Jedi had fallen to that monster. That's why I mean what I say about surviving is what she's best at. If she could live through that stuff with minimal training, this is nothing for her now."

Rex's story had her buzzing with pride for her mother. She was powerful, clearly. If she could survive so much. Her father, on the other hand, she admired the way Rex spoke of him so fondly, but she was starting to understand how he was temperamental enough to be influenced by the dark side. Ignoring beliefs and warnings, risking lives on crazy rescue missions... she hoped she wasn't quite so impulsive, but then again, what had she just been berating herself for? The need to prove herself to her mother and the foolish things she'd done to do so. Maybe she was more like her father. That worried her.

Rex seemed to sense where her thoughts were going. "Your father was a good man. Whatever caused him to turn, likely wasn't simple or completely in his control. But you're not him, Ashla, and you're not your mother either. They're a part of you, it's true. You have a chance to choose your life, something neither of them could. You can be whatever you want. In fact, that's what I can say, quite confidently, they'd both want for you." He reached around her shoulders and pulled her into him. "Who will you be?”

---

Ashla rested her head back on the pillow on one of the bunks in the ship her and Rex were now living in. She couldn’t stop thinking about the things he’d said about her parents. How her mother had been fighting so hard in this war so she didn’t have to. She believed that, but hiding or not, there was really no way to escape it. The war would be everywhere she went. How she lived within it was all that would change. She was grateful for what her mother did, but she hated sitting around and not getting involved. Her parents had fought for something. She couldn’t even claim that. Even if honoring them meant choosing to live her life instead of fighting, it made her feel useless. Starkiller had said her mother had been the leader of the rebellion, Rex had told her a similar thing; that she’d made the rebellion possible. She felt the pride of that; knowing what her mom fought for. Knowing that without her, nothing could really oppose the Empire.

On the flip side of that, she wanted to reach out to her father. Not to join him, no way. He’d done too much evil in the galaxy; caused her mom too much pain to forgive him so easily. However… he had once been good. He’d once fought for the same things Ahsoka did, and she felt a burning desire to know him, to know why he’d fallen. Maybe even to save him. It was foolish to think she had any chance to reach him. If her own mother, someone he’d once loved couldn’t. But the urge to try was far too irresistible. She secretly hoped that they’d connect; that they’d form a bond like the one that she had with her mother. Maybe together, they could work through the losses they’d both experienced, and eventually… he might come back to them. Rex still believed in who he’d once been, and so did Ahsoka. They didn’t say it, but they were both holding out hope that Anakin Skywalker would return. In fact… she got the distinct feeling they were living in the past when it came to him; that neither of them could completely accept what he’d become. She didn’t know who he used to be except for stories about him, maybe she could meet him where he was now. It was worth a try, wasn’t it?

Maybe then she could say she too had contributed to the betterment of the galaxy, rather than hiding like a coward. She closed her eyes, falling deep into the force. Letting her instincts on how she reached her mother direct her. Except this time, she turned towards her father; searching the force for someone she’d never met. She didn’t know if force bonds worked like this. It was probably rare to reach anyone wherever they were, but she’d always been able to with her mom, no matter where she was; at least except for that place she’d been when her mom had fought her father. It was possible he lived somewhere just as impenetrable, but she was determined to try.

She pushed deeper, begging the force to give her a chance. Wherever she was going, it was getting increasingly harder to breathe. At some point, the energy seemed to shift from light to dark. Fear started bubbling all around her, but she kept going. Out of nowhere, she hit what felt like a wall of blood. The hatred swirled around her with such violence, she cried out in panic. She fought to get her bearings, to make sense of what she was seeing. There was nothing distinctive, just a pounding rage of emotions, beating against her. It was a sound but not really. It thrummed against her eardrums and she feared they might explode from the force of it. She brought her hands up to cover them; the pain was unbearable. She glanced up to see a man standing some distance away. At least she thought it was a man. He was terrifying. It looked like he was a burnt husk of something; disfigured beyond recognition. Flames seemed to burst from him in all directions.

She panicked, crying out in fear and rolled onto the metal floor of the room she’d been in, sobbing. Rex rushed in moments later and lifted her to her feet. She was so disoriented and freaked out that she couldn’t see anything clearly. Her heart pounded in her chest as though it was trying to escape the evil she’d just witnessed too. She shook her head when he spoke. She could tell he was talking but not what he said. She let him guide her somewhere to sit down. When he got up to get her something she pulled on him. She didn’t want him to go. She was too afraid.

“Don’t tell my mother,” she begged. “Please don’t! I know it was wrong. It was so wrong.” He looked at her in confusion and concern. He had no idea what she was talking about. She wouldn’t be able to explain it anyways.

“Don’t tell her what?” he asked softly, hugging her tightly to him. She shivered uncontrollably. Whatever she’d witnessed had been both burning hot and freezing cold at the same time. It made no sense to her. She wasn’t sure she’d ever understand it.

She shook her head, rocking back and forth. She couldn’t clear the image of that man-thing from her head. It took her a long time to get her breathing back under control. Never again; she’d never disobey her mother again. Everything she’d told her had been true. She was better off hiding. She wasn’t strong enough to fight the Sith. Or Starkiller. Or her father. Her mom had fought all those things and survived, over and over again. It was never clearer to her that she wasn’t her mother. She wasn’t her parents. She was plain ol’ Ashla; useless and about as special as a rock. She’d been so stupid. She had no idea what was out there. If any of that was an indication, she didn’t ever want to face it.

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SW Rey Theory - Legacy of Light - Chapter 13

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(~17 years after Revenge of the Sith, beginning of Rebels season 4)

Ezra tried to focus on the people in front of him. These were important people to Sabine and to the future of this planet. After helping them restore Mandalore back to the Visla clan, he’d noticed Rex wander away from the group. Something about the way he’d carried himself had bothered him. There was a weight on his shoulders that the veteran soldier had shown only once before; when they’d returned from Malachor without Ahsoka. No words had really needed to be spoken about what happened there. Everyone knew. She’d sacrificed herself to help them get away, but Ezra had never told anyone what he’d overheard between her and Vader.

He’d been her master. He’d been the Jedi knight that everyone had admired and told stories about, but he’d turned to the dark side. Scared as he had been in his shadow, he’d still felt the pain of what that truth meant to her. Knowing she was dead was bad enough but knowing who had killed her… so much worse. Now as he watched Rex walk slowly with his head down towards a burned forest, he was certain he’d known the truth of who Vader was too. If he’d served with Ahsoka, surely he’d also served with Anakin Skywalker. Certain the people in front of him were too busy to notice his absence, Ezra slipped away to follow him.

Rex dropped to his knees near a stump in the middle of the now bare land. It wasn’t easy to make out what he was looking at from this far away, but Ezra could feel his pain. He snuck as close as he could without the captain knowing he was there, so he could hear what he was saying. What had happened here? He’d said the first time they met that he’d fought alongside Ahsoka until the Siege of Mandalore, so this must have been the last and possibly the worst, battle he’d experienced of the Clone Wars.

“I’m sorry, Ahsoka,” he was saying, his voice tight and full of emotion. “I failed you. I should have gone with you. Why did I let you face him alone?” Rex sighed, his shoulders dropping. He bent over, placing his hands on the ground. “I’ve looked for her everywhere, kept my ears open for her, but I’ve heard nothing. I hope that’s a good thing. If I haven’t heard of her, that means the Empire hasn’t either. At least I hope that’s what it means. Although after losing you, I wanted to track her down.”

Ezra listened in confusion. Who was Rex talking about? He didn’t know a lot about Ahsoka, but the way Rex spoke, this girl meant something to her. And apparently meant a lot to Rex too. She might even be in danger.

“You and Anakin were my closest friends; my family,” Rex sobbed. “Your daughter is all that’s left of both of you.” Ezra’s eyes widened in surprise. Ahsoka had a daughter! “But I know, going after her would only put her in danger. Ashla doesn’t need a life full of war. I understand now why you kept her away from all of this. I promise you, like I did then. If I find her, I will protect her with my life.”

Ezra ducked behind the broken husks of the remaining trees as Rex stood and headed back towards the group. He watched him go, his mind reeling. Ahsoka had a child. Once Rex had disappeared out of sight, he moved over to where he’d been kneeling. There was a mound of dirt, that probably would have had flowers or grass over it by now had this planet not been so horribly devastated by all this war. At the head near the stump was a small stone marker. He brushed his hand across it, wiping away the ash and grime.

Here lies Captain Rex, the brave clone that killed Jedi General Ahsoka Tano. Buried with her lightsabers as proof of the deed.

He stared at the grave marker in disbelief. So that’s how Ahsoka had survived Order 66. She and Rex had faked their deaths to throw the Empire off their trail. Ezra dropped to his knees and started digging. He knew he wouldn’t find either of their bodies, but his hands closed around what he’d been searching for. He pulled up her lightsabers. He’d heard what Rex had said about keeping Ahsoka’s daughter away from the war, that was fine. He knew if someone had stumbled on something that belonged to either his mom or his dad, he’d want them to try and return it. Ashla deserved to know about her mother’s heroism. As he stared down at Ahsoka’s old lightsabers in his hands, he had the strongest sense that he needed to take these to her. He didn’t understand why, but he knew he did. These belonged in her hands, not buried in the ground as a forgotten relic of a horrible war.

He stood up, feeling a new sense of purpose. If Ashla was still out there, he would find her. He had to find her. It was the only way he could assuage the guilt he felt over Ahsoka’s sacrifice to protect him, Kanan and the future of the rebellion. If he was supposed to take these to her, hopefully the force would help him find her.

---

Ashla wiped her hands on her dress and stepped outside. Blinking as she looked in the distance where she’d heard the sound. Since she’d been at the enclave only two ships had come and gone, and that was in several years. She closed her eyes, reaching out with her senses. Whatever or whoever it was didn’t feel dangerous, but she didn’t recognize it either.

She missed her mother. She’d gotten so used to talking to her nearly every night that whenever anything new happened her first thought was to tell her. She couldn’t now though, she’d been silent for nearly eighteen months. But who was counting? She didn’t want to believe Ahsoka was dead… but the memories of the last thing she remembered had scarred her senses. For a moment she’d almost believed that she’d felt both her mother and father, but that didn’t make any sense. Her father was dead, and she feared… so was her mother now.

She felt compelled to move towards the sound. It was almost like there was music. It sounded like a song. Not one that she was hearing with her ears, it was as though she felt it. What could it mean? The closer she got to the source, the more powerful the feeling.

She paused behind a tree as the landing hatch opened and the light from inside cast the forest in a bright glow. Someone moved down the ramp to the bottom and looked around. She studied him curiously. He seemed to be about her age. In the light his hair seemed bluish. He wore bright orange clothes, and he definitely didn’t seem to mind attention on himself; because he sure stood out like a flame in the dark of the night. He stumbled a little stepping off the ramp and recovered himself as though trying to laugh it off even though nobody but her was watching. She smiled.

The song she was hearing seemed to be coming from him, or something he was holding. She moved trying to get a better look and snapped a branch. He looked up suddenly and she ducked behind the tree breathing heavy. “It’s okay,” he said, but she held her breath. “I’m not here to hurt anyone. I’m looking for someone named Ashla.”

Her eyes widened in surprise. Who besides her uncle knew she was here? Who was this kid? She took a deep breath feeling in the force for what she should do. Could she trust him? Her mother had told her time and time again to be cautious; to not reveal herself or give away her identity.

“I just want to give her something that belonged to her mother,” he spoke again. He was strong in the force too. She closed her eyes breathing hard. This boy knew her mom. But right before stepping out she remembered that her mother had told her countless times that her presence would put her in danger. That people would want her because of who her parents were. Her curiosity was burning though. What did he have of hers? She needed to know.

Forgive me, mom. I have to know. She took a deep breath trying to calm her nerves and stepped out boldly from behind the tree. The boy looked up at her in surprise, but he didn’t draw a weapon.

“Ashla?” She nodded numbly and he smiled, but then his expression turned sad. “I brought these for you… I thought… well I thought you’d want them.” He pulled two unusual looking metal things out of his pack. The song she’d been hearing was suddenly louder. “And… I think she would have wanted you to have them.”

“You knew my mother?” she breathed, still struggling to comprehend being face to face with someone that made her mom real. She believed she’d been really talking to her through the force. Sometimes it had felt like she was really there, but she didn’t have any physical memories of her; only visions and dreams. This kid… he’d really talked to her, been around her; maybe even hugged her. She dropped to her knees, tears streaming down her face. She felt a rush of emotion at the longing she’d always had for her presence. Not just in the force; but something real; physical, tangible.

“Oh, please don’t cry!” he stumbled forward and kneeled down in front of her. “I didn’t mean to make you cry.” She looked up at him unable to stop herself. “Look, see? These were your mother’s lightsabers. Well, her original ones I guess,” he put the metal things in her hands and she looked down at them blankly.

“Lightsabers?” she finally managed, turning them over in her hands. They were unlike any mechanical thing she’d ever seen. They had a feeling to them, like they were meant for her. The song she’d been hearing had stopped the moment he’d given them to her. As though that act sealed that they were where they belonged.

“You know what a lightsaber is, right?” he asked.

She shook her head, “I’ve heard of them, but I’ve never seen one.”

“Oh well, that’s because… Well never mind. Here let me show you.” He stood up and stepped away. She saw him pull something from his belt and turn it on. She leapt back in surprise as a long stream of green energy erupted from the end of it. To her surprise, it didn’t keep going like it had been fired. It just hung there, humming in the force. She stood up, looking it over in confusion. “No don’t touch,” he said as she reached her hand out. She pulled it back and looked at him. “It’s sharper than a knife and it will burn you. Here, throw a rock at me.”

“What?” she asked, furrowing her brow. “I can’t do that, it’s rude.”

He chuckled, “It’s okay, really. It won’t hurt me.” She bit her lip.

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah.”

“Okay,” she said reluctantly and picked up a stone from a few feet away, tossing it at him lightly; still unsure of this plan. He swung his lightsaber slicing through it. She ran to where the parts fell and inspected them. The rock had been cleanly split in half. And where it had been cut was hot to the touch. “Whoa,” she whispered in awe. She ran back to where she’d dropped the ones he’d given her. She ran her fingers over them inspecting the craftsmanship of how they’d come together.

“This button will turn it on and this knob will adjust the length of the blade.” He pointed out the parts to her. She pressed the on button and he leapt away as it narrowly missed him.

“Sorry!” she said.

“It’s okay,” he grinned up at her from where he was leaning on his elbows. “They can be a little tricky to get the hang of. I remember it well.”

She moved it around, waving it. She was entranced by the way it danced in the air and felt in her hands. One of them was larger, but not uncomfortable to hold. The other one was a smaller version of it. She turned the other one on and held them in her hands. These were her mother’s. At some point in her life, she’d felt the same thing she was feeling now; a sense of belonging to something bigger.

She closed her eyes and moved through the force with them in her hand, feeling as though they were guiding her hands to know just where to turn or strike. She heard him turn his back on.

“Care for a duel?” he asked. She looked up to see him smirking. "Don't worry, I'll go easy on you."

If her mother could wield these, so could she. She nodded to him, hiding her smile. She watched him carefully as he leapt around, moving and feinting as though to distract her. She stared unblinkingly at his movements, feeling the way it disturbed the force around him. She dropped low to the ground as all her senses were on high alert; feeling the path ahead. She felt a sense of strength and speed fill her, so she leapt forward spinning first to swing at him. He stumbled back in surprise and ducked as she swung the other one back around.

“Wow,” he said as he got his up to block her, but had to leap out of the way of the second saber. “For not knowing what a lightsaber was a few minutes ago, you sure picked it up fast.” He sounded a little breathless.

“I don’t know how to explain it,” she said. “It’s like they’re guiding me. As though they’re alive.” She spun them in her hands.

“Well they kind of are. I mean not a living thing, but the kyber crystals that power them are strongly connected to the cosmic force. You know about the force, right?”

“Yes. Do these kyber crystals… do they sing?” she asked and then blushed furiously. He stopped fighting and looked at her.

“They do, yes. Supposedly only the person they belong to can hear them. So no one else would hear the one mine made. Why? Have you already heard it?”

“These were singing to me,” she looked down at the weapons in her hands. “That’s the sound I followed to find you.”

“Then I guess I was right about bringing them to you,” he murmured, rubbing his chin thoughtfully. “I thought I was crazy, but it felt like the right thing to do.”

“My mother didn’t send you?” She felt heavy again. What had she expected? That this boy had come to get her and take her home?

“I’m sorry, no,” he whispered. “Your mother… she’s dead.” Sorrow seeped into her soul. It couldn’t be true. It can’t be! She had to still be out there. She looked up at him pleadingly as though he could simply unsay the words and that would bring her back. “But she died a hero!” he exclaimed as if that made it okay. “She saved us, and her sacrifice gave us a fighting chance against the horrible Empire.”

The Empire, she nearly spat. She was no fan of it either, but it had taken everything from her. It was the reason she didn’t get to know her mother or father. It was the reason her uncle had dropped her here so he didn’t have to look over his shoulder everywhere they went. It was the reason she couldn’t show her true powers. The reason she had to keep her head down. In that moment, she didn’t care about the Empire. Or the rebellion or even the war. All she wanted was justice, for her life and for her parents.

“You should be proud to be her daughter,” he tried to comfort her. “She was an amazing warrior for good. She made the rebellion possible. Without her, we’d be floundering in our own little corners of the galaxy making no difference. She gave us a fighting chance.” Her chest was tight. She wanted to be proud, but pride in her wouldn’t bring her back. Her mom was amazing simply because of who she was. She looked up at him, feeling angry. Not at him, at the universe; at the force.

“Who killed her?” she asked darkly. Her hands balled into fists around the lightsabers still clutched in them.

“I wish it wasn’t so either!” he said quickly. “But revenge is a dangerous path. It leads to the dark side.”

“Who killed her?” she asked again, eyes narrowing defiantly.

“A Sith lord,” he said hesitantly. “Darth Vader. Apparently he was once her master; Anakin Skywalker.”

She looked up at him in surprise, forgetting the anger for a moment. “What did you say?”

“Darth Vader was once her master…” he repeated. “Anakin Skywalker.”

“I know that name,” she breathed, sitting down hard.

“Well… I wouldn’t be surprised if you’ve heard of him. He was once a Jedi Knight. The most powerful one they’d ever seen. He was a hero during the Clone Wars.”

“No that’s not why…” she shook her head confused. The puzzle pieces were slowly coming together. Anakin Skywalker was… her father… And he was alive… That’s why she’d felt them both when she’d last felt her mother. She could still feel her mother’s pain at finding out the truth of what he’d become. No wonder her mom had been so protective of her. She was the daughter of two powerful Jedi; and one of them, had turned into a monster…

---

“Mom?” Ashla whispered from her knees on the forest floor. She reached deep into the force trying to find her. “I know you’re out there.” The tears fell freely as though she had no control. The boy, who’d introduced himself as Ezra Bridger had gone back inside his ship. He said he’d give her some time as though that could heal the words he’d spoken to her or the pain she felt right now. “Someone told me you are dead, but I don’t believe them.” She rubbed her fingers over the lightsabers in her hands. “He gave me your old lightsabers, from back when you were a Jedi. I should feel closer to you now, but I can’t find you anywhere. I search for you every day. I know you’re trying to reach me too; from wherever you are. I hope there’s just something blocking us and that what he said isn’t true. I heard the song from the crystals in your swords. He told me only the person they belong to can hear them, but that can’t be right. They belong to you, not me. Unless they know I’m your daughter.”

Even though she didn’t get a response anymore, imagining talking to her mother soothed her. “I don’t want to hate my father for what he did, or what he became. But if it’s true that he’s alive… part of me wants to find him. Trust me, I know it’s a bad idea; but I want to. He’d never accept me, I know that. You told me he didn’t know the truth. This boy offered to teach me how to use the lightsabers. I don’t know if it’s what you would have wanted. You taught me all about the force, but never how to fight. I know I was stubborn sometimes, but I promise I was listening. I listened to everything you told me. I wanted to make you proud. I hope if you are gone… you knew that. I miss you mom!” she dropped her hands to the ground as she was rocked by another sob. “I wish I was stronger, like you.”

She felt a hand on her back and looked up tearfully at Ezra who had sat down next to her. She threw her arms around his neck, burying her face in him. It had startled him, but he pulled her tighter to him. “I’m sorry, Ashla,” he whispered. She wanted to tell him it was okay, but it wasn’t okay. She didn’t feel okay. “Your mom was amazing. I wish you could have seen her fight.”

She looked up at him, “What was she like?”

“She was quiet and kind. Patient and a strong mentor; wise beyond her years. She was confident and radiated light. She always put the needs of others first. She inspired everyone around her to work hard and remember what we were fighting for,” he said thoughtfully.

“I wish I could have known her,” she said sadly, resting her head on his chest again. Really known her. “Was she beautiful?” She didn’t want to tell Ezra about the way they had talked in the force. Even though he was probably the first person in her life that might have understood. It felt too personal right now though, and even though she knew exactly what her mom looked like, she wanted to know how other people saw her.

“Very,” he said. “She lit up every room she walked into. Kind of like you actually.”

“But we haven’t been in a room,” she laughed.

“Well… you light up every forest you walk into,” he sounded flustered.

“Are you flirting with me, Ezra Bridger?” she smirked at him.

“Um…” he ran his fingers through his short hair. “Is it okay with you if I am?” She looked up at him critically. He had really interesting blue eyes, thick eyebrows and several scars on his cheek. But he was good looking. Not that it mattered that much to her. He had a kind heart, she could tell that much.

“Yeah, it’s okay,” she smiled.

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SW Rey Theory - Legacy of Light - Chapter 15

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(End of A New Hope, during rebel assault on the first Death Star)

“I’ve missed you so much! Where have you been?” Now that they'd moved somewhere more private, Ahsoka studied her daughter’s face wishing it was easy to explain what had happened and why she’d had to stay silent on her, but it wasn’t. Nothing was easy anymore. Ashla had felt her fight with Anakin, and it ate at her insides that she’d allowed herself to be so open when she had. In the moment, all she’d wanted was to open herself to him, forgetting momentarily the strength of the bond she had with her daughter. This was not at all how she’d hoped Ashla would know him. All she’d wanted was for him to be preserved in her memories as the good and heroic Jedi knight; not to sell him as perfect, but definitely not as what he’d become. How was she to explain the force, and how Ezra had pulled her out of her own time? Morai had explained some of it, but it was still a lot to wrap her head around. How could she explain her daily pilgrimage into hostile lands in attempt to save her master?

“I’ve missed you too, my love,” she breathed, running her fingers through her daughter’s unruly hair. She looked more and more like Anakin every day. How was she eighteen already? Where had the time gone and when had she gotten so tall? “It’s a long story, and I’m not sure now is the time. I want to hear about you. How did you find your way to the rebellion?” She wasn’t thrilled Ashla was here in the middle of it, but at least she could breathe some relief that she’d found her way to Rex.

“Well, I…” Ashla was interrupted as the loudspeaker came on across the complex.

“Ahsoka Tano, please report to the command center. Ahsoka Tano, please report to the command center.”

“Oh for…” she trailed off so she didn’t swear in front of her and set her hand on her daughter’s shoulder. “Wait here, I’ll go see what they want.”

“Welcome back,” the thin, short haired woman in front of her said as she entered the command center.

“Thank you, Senator,” Ahsoka nodded to her. She didn’t know this one personally, but she recognized her from the senate meetings during the time of the Republic. Padmé had pointed her out a few times. Mon Mothma, former senator of Chandrila. She’d abdicated her position and fled the Empire in order to join the rebellion sometime after Ahsoka had gotten stuck on Malachor. Now that Bail was… well… the loss of Alderaan still burned her soul. When she’d heard the news about it, she’d known it was finally time to return to the rebellion. He’d brought her into it all those years ago; she’d helped him bring rebel cells together. Had it not been for his willingness to take the risk, none of this would have been possible. After all the recent losses they’d suffered, and the intel that the Death Star was headed for Yavin… she couldn’t stay away anymore. Not after seeing the destruction the temple weapon had caused on Malachor, and knowing that the Empire had a bigger one out there that could destroy entire planets… It no longer mattered if enough time had passed since Ezra saved her or not. She couldn’t in good conscience sit back and do nothing with such a threat looming over the galaxy.

“Bail has spoken very highly of you over the years. It is an honor to finally make your acquaintance,” Mon Mothma nodded to her and put her hands behind her back. “Now I know you only just returned and would probably like to rest, but as you know, the Empire waits for no one. Do you know anything about this weapon that is on its way here?”

“Not much, I’m afraid.” She brought her hand up to her chin. “Only that I’ve seen what it can do on a much smaller scale and of course, what it did to Jedha, Scariff and Alderaan. In my opinion, the Empire is getting rather reckless; destroying their own information hub just to stop a small rebel skirmish?”

“Yes, I wondered about that too. However, they found out about our base here on Yavin and probably believe that by wiping it out, it won’t matter that they destroyed Scariff.” The senator paused as a handful of people entered the briefing room including Rex and Ashla. “As you are all aware, there is already a strike force headed to intercept the Death Star. Even if they are successful in stopping it, our base of operations will be moving to Hoth as Yavin has now been compromised,” she turned and addressed the rest of them.

“What are you doing here?” Ahsoka whispered to Ashla when Mon Mothma turned her back.

“I was summoned too.” She looked at her confused and turned back to the senator. The rest of the group of rebels were clearly fighters. Ashla stood out amongst them and she wasn’t sure she liked that she’d been summoned for this too. She had a bad feeling about this.

“A few hours ago, we received intel that there is an Imperial freighter floating abandoned in the Auril Sector not far from Kulthis.” Mothma turned on the holotable in front of them. We sent a droid ahead to slice into its mainframe. According to the log, it had engine trouble and the crew abandoned ship. All reports indicate their resources are spread too thin to reclaim it right now.” She clicked a button and a list appeared in front of them. “The cargo manifest shows it is carrying vital supplies to our rebellion. Water, rations, medical equipment, gear, and weapons.”

“Even if they don’t have the resources to retrieve the cargo, it doesn’t make sense for the crew to abandon the vessel completely, and it just so happens to be carrying supplies a rebellion would need? It’s too convenient,” Ahsoka crossed her arms in front of her. “Odds are that it’s a trap.”

“I agree,” Rex stepped forward. “We don’t exactly have enough people here to offload supplies from a freighter of that size, even if it isn’t.”

“I’m aware of that, Captain. And that is why Miss Okami is here. Ahsoka is going to lead the forces you see before you and steal the ship, disable any tracking mechanisms and meet us on Hoth.”

Ahsoka’s eyes widened and it took all her effort not to refuse, “I am not taking a mechanic into an obvious trap. It’s too dangerous.” She felt her chest tighten into a knot.

“But I’m the best mechanic on the base. I’m the only chance you have at getting it flying again,” her daughter exclaimed stepping forward.

“No, absolutely not.” Ahsoka glared at the senator.

“I’m afraid that’s not your call, Miss Tano,” Senator Mothma crossed her arms, meeting her challenge. “All members of the rebellion know the risks when they join.” Had Rex not squeezed her on the shoulder, she might have spilled right there that Ashla was her daughter and yes, it was her call; rebellion or not. With difficulty, she managed to stop herself from making a face at her. Shirking the leadership had been a hard habit to drop. One of the bad habits she’d learned from her master, and it was something she definitely didn’t want to pass on to their daughter.

“I hate to say it, Ahsoka, but without Ashla, that ship won’t go anywhere. At least not before Imperial forces return to reclaim it. She’ll have it up and running in no time and we’ll be right there to protect her.” She took a deep breath trying to absorb Rex’s words. He was right and she knew that, but this was exactly why she hadn't wanted Ashla part of the rebellion. What if a mission like this had come up when she wasn’t around? She shuddered to think about it. She knew Rex would do anything to keep her safe, but he hadn’t faced the inquisitors, Maul, Anakin or the Emperor. There were things out there a common blaster wouldn’t kill. As incredible as he was, he was just one man; they didn’t have an army anymore. Knowing that her daughter was in danger every second of this mission was going to be distracting, and she didn’t want to find out the consequences of that.

“I don’t like it,” she murmured to him under her breath, still staring daggers at the senator before them.

“I know,” he whispered, and she took a deep breath.

“It’s settled then, you’ll leave immediately. I assume I don’t need to tell you how important these supplies are for the good of the rebellion.” It took every ounce of willpower she had to not storm out of the room and order her daughter to stay put. But then she remembered that the Death Star was on its way to Yavin Four, and that if the rebels were not successful in stopping it… At least if Ashla was with them, she couldn’t be decimated by it. Luke was part of the strike force, that's what Ashla had said. For the rebellion's sake, she hoped he could fly like his father.

She’d been out of action for too long. Running out on a mission, hours after arriving was not at all what she’d had in mind when she returned. Though she probably should have known better. When Rex had told her that Ashla was here, everything else had gone out the window. She’d nearly forgotten why she’d returned the moment she’d seen her daughter’s face. She’d wanted nothing more than to scoop her up in her arms and run away. But she couldn’t do that.

She brought her hands up to her face trying to hide her frustration even though she was alone in the hallway. Everything she was afraid of was coming to fruition in front of her. She hadn’t been able to save Anakin; she wasn’t even sure if she was making progress in trying to reach him. She hadn’t been able to keep her daughter away from the rebellion or the Empire. She hadn’t made it back in time to help Ezra. She hadn’t been able to keep her daughter secret and safe. What if this was the last time she ever saw her?

“Come on, Lil’un.” She heard Rex around the corner and fell back into the shadows. “I know you’re frustrated but give your mom a break.”

“Why?” came Ashla’s strained voice and Ahsoka’s heart clenched in her chest. “She disappears for two years without so much as a word to me, then she acts as though she was never gone. Now, it’s like she doesn’t even want me here!”

“You know that’s not true,” Rex replied and Ahsoka tipped her head back leaning against the wall.

“Do I?” She could almost picture Ashla’s pout.

“Listen Ashla, everything your mother has done since you were born was to protect you. She’s seen more horrors in her life than you can possibly imagine, that’s why she kept you away from this. Working as a mechanic on the base and fighting on the front lines are two very different things.” She nodded in agreement to Rex’s statement. If you won’t listen to me, please listen to him.

“But I don’t need protection; I’m not helpless! Ezra taught me how to use the lightsabers, you helped me improve my blaster skills.” So, Ezra was how Ashla ended up at the rebellion? How did he even find out about her? Surely Rex hadn't told him. And how did she end up with lightsabers? What all had happened in the two years she’d been absent?

“I know that, Lil’un. And you’re very good at both; it’s not competency that’s the problem. She’s afraid she won’t be able to keep you safe, and so am I. Now is not the time to get surly and reckless like you have something to prove. The first rule of battle is to listen and obey your superiors, because they have more experience than you. Your mother, she has more than most. There will be plenty of time to work this out later. Can you put it aside for now?” Tears welled in her eyes as she listened to Rex try to calm her daughter down. So long ago… she’d had similar conversations with Anakin. He had been too protective of her, at least that had been what it felt like. While she, like Ashla, wanted action; she wanted to learn, she wanted to grow and prove herself worthy. Which usually ended with her doing something stupid in order to. She did not want her daughter doing the same thing.

“I guess so,” Ashla sighed.

“Good girl. If your mother was silent on you for two years, she must have had a very good reason. You are the most important thing in the world to her.” The tears fell before she could stop them and she ran in the opposite direction, locking herself in the nearest refresher and slumping over the sink. Yes… her daughter had been the most important thing in the world to her… until Anakin came back into the picture. She stared at her reflection in the mirror. What was happening to her?

She was alive, but it no longer felt that way. Everything she’d been fighting for was crumbling around her. It was getting harder and harder to stay above the waves of sorrow. Every step forward was met with several forced steps back. For every small victory against the Empire, they struck back with devastating consequences. Were they fighting a losing battle? Was that why Anakin was on their side now? Did he foresee this? If he were still her master, how would he advise her in this situation? We need not be adversaries... he'd tell her to join him.

She closed her eyes and took a deep breath, trying to remember everything he taught her when he'd been a Jedi. Try as she might, nothing came to her on how to proceed. Anakin probably would have run recklessly into the situation; believing arrogantly that he was in control of it. Okay, maybe he wasn’t the one to tap into after all… What would Obi wan do? He’d go into the mission confident in his abilities to protect those around him and if he failed, he’d believe it happened as the force meant it to. But he’d never had to lead his own child into battle. She laughed hoarsely and looked up at her reflection again. And he’d probably quote a laundry list of reasons why attachment was dangerous. A little late for that now…

If she couldn’t control her emotions, maybe the rebellion was better off without her. “Pull yourself together, girl,” she muttered aloud. “You can do this. You’ve faced worse. This is no different than every other mission you’ve ever ran. They need you and you’re going to come through for them. You’re going to protect them and you’re going to protect your daughter. It’s what Anakin trained you to do.” Keep your head in the here and now… She splashed some water on her face to wash away the tears and headed out.

---

None of the scans as they reached the coordinates indicated that there were lifeforms aboard the ship, but that did nothing to put her at ease. The trickle of unease was steadily growing as they closed in on the vessel. Senator Mothma may have taken over leadership of the rebellion after the loss of so many, but Ahsoka was not confident in her abilities to understand the dangers of these missions. To so blatantly ignore that this could be a trap… it infuriated her. She must think because Ahsoka had once been a Jedi and that Rex had served in the Clone Wars, that there was nothing to be worried about. No lifeforms did not mean they were walking onto an abandoned ship. If they were still fighting Separatists, this ship would be packed with battle droids.

"Commander, we're scanning high levels of carbonite," one of the rebels said that had accompanied her. The feeling that something bad was coming went through the roof; droids were now the least of her concern.

“It looks like this was a trap after all. Why was that not included in the report from the droid?” She turned to look at the battered group of rebels that had accompanied them. They looked amongst themselves but shook their heads. They didn’t know any more about it than she did. She tried reaching into the force to get a feel for what was waiting for them, but because the carbonite suspended life signs, it was difficult to make out. Odds were, if the trap that was set included carbonite, this was not going to be stormtroopers. This was worse, much worse. She glanced to her side and saw Ashla tense, gripping her old lightsabers in her hands. Seeing them startled her for a moment. How did her daughter have her lightsabers?

"I think we spent too long fighting droids, Commander. We've grown complacent," Rex commented from her right side. She didn’t disagree with him. Even though they hadn’t faced battle droids in over twenty years, it was still difficult to shake the ingrained lessons that they’d taught them. This was not the Clone Wars anymore. This was people versus people and she hated every second of it. His words stirred her back to action and she turned to the group behind them.

“Turn your weapons off stun. If these are inquisitors, aim for the hilt of their weapons, and don’t fire directly at the blade of the lightsabers. Spread out in groups, comms on and keep your eyes open. Move out.” They nodded to her and disappeared.

“Mom?” Ashla whispered, scooting closer to her.

"I don't like it either Ashla, but we're fighting a war. It's life or death, and sometimes all we can do is survive to fight another day. When this mission is over, you're going somewhere safe. Away from the rebellion," Ahsoka said distractedly. She was feeling something, but she couldn’t pinpoint where it was coming from. It was both familiar and unfamiliar.

"Why can't I stay with you? Why can't we go away together?" Ashla asked.

Ahsoka blinked a few times and looked down at her daughter. "Look at me Ashla, I stand out in a crowd. As the Empire thins out alien populations across the galaxy, I become more and more obvious. I’ve made more than a few enemies over the years who all know what I look like. I can't just put on a disguise; these things don't go away. Not even putting on a cloak will hide what I am. But you, you look human. You can hide anywhere." She didn’t mean to be short with her, but the feeling that was bothering her was creeping closer and she didn’t have time to argue. All she wanted was her to be safe.

"Why can't we stay with the rebellion? Then we wouldn't have to hide, and we could still be together!" Ashla begged.

As she looked at her pleading face, screwed up close to tears, she was reminded of herself from so long ago. When Anakin had been so overprotective of her; picking and choosing what missions she could go on based on the level of danger expected. What had she told him then? How will I ever learn if you don’t let me come? She understood the need her daughter was feeling far too much, but things were different now. She’d not been trained as a Jedi. She’d not spent countless hours meditating, studying and practicing. She was strong in the force, she had the natural ability, but the truth was, Ahsoka didn’t want her to grow up having to fight. She wanted her to live her life; to find happiness. To learn and know the force, and to respect it. She wanted to fight the war so her daughter could live, and she’d sacrifice it all for that. "I want us to be together more than you could possibly know, but you'll be much safer out there then you'll ever be with me or the rebellion." She couldn’t keep her away from it forever, but she had to try.

"But..." Ashla started.

She cut her off, "Ashla. I need you somewhere safe so that I have something to keep fighting for. I can't worry about you here. I can't risk losing you. I love you too much. You're one of the only things I have left," she begged her daughter to see reason, to understand. The very thing she’d warned her had happened to Anakin was happening to her too; the fear of loss. The possibility of losing her daughter existed wherever she was, but maybe it was her fear of seeing it happen; of not being able to protect her if she was here that scared her so much. Losing Anakin had been hard enough and he’d just been someone important to her. Ashla was her flesh and blood. She may have once thought she’d known better than the Jedi order on whether attachments were dangerous, but now… now she was starting to understand.

Ashla watched her face for a moment, tears streaming down her cheeks. "Okay," she said finally. “For you, I will.” Ahsoka pulled her into a hug. She poured every ounce of love she felt for her into the embrace. She kissed the top of her head, not wanting to let her go. Being away from her for years had been hard enough. Now having to force them apart again… she was certain it would feel worse than when Anakin had gone missing. If she kept ripping her soul to pieces because she was too attached to people, it wouldn’t be long before there was nothing left.

“Commander, I’m sorry to interrupt, but we found where the carbonite readings were coming from. They’re all empty,” Rex said returning. “No one has seen anything yet, and without a droid, we can’t tell how long they’ve been empty.”

Ahsoka released Ashla and looked up at the ventilation duct nearby. “Rex… I have a bad feeling about this. Where is the droid that was sent ahead?”

“Haven’t found it yet,” Rex glanced around.

“Ashla, stay close to us.” Her daughter nodded, looking around nervously. She pulled her lightsabers from her belt, mentally trying to push her emotions aside so she could focus.

The sounds of blaster fire echoed through the ship, Rex and Ashla raced towards it. She ignited them in front of her as she ran. They came around a corner where two rebel fighters had fallen. No sign of who they’d been fighting in sight. Rex crouched down to check for pulses, but shook his head at her sadly. She swallowed, looking around, trying to listen for movement.

She pushed her comm button, “Report?” she asked.

“We saw someone running towards the cargo hold, hold on…” someone responded but trailed off. She looked over at Rex and tipped her head. They moved forward cautiously, staying on high alert. “False alarm, just a droid. Not ours though,” the voice that came through was staticky.

"It looks like we are facing inquisitors. Regroup at the cargo hold. Do not engage alone.”

“Yes sir.” Ahsoka moved forward, senses out. What she’d been feeling earlier was nearby. They met up with the rest of the team in the cargo hold where the carbonite was. There were four of them, all empty. If they were all inquisitors, this wasn’t going to end well. She was the only one that stood a chance against them. Her daughter maybe, if she’d trained her to fight. Her feeling of dread was building, and she was almost certain there was something else here too; something darker. Something more like Vader. It wasn’t him, she was sure of that, but it felt like him. Stealth was not Anakin’s game, so switching to that now seemed unlikely. Whatever it was, was playing them into a trap.

Making the decision, she stood up taller, “Pull back, we’re leaving. Whatever is here, we’re not prepared to face it.” No amount of supplies were worth a slaughter. In fact, she doubted there were any supplies aboard at all.

“Look out!” someone behind her shouted as an inquisitor dropped out of the ducts above them. She couldn’t stop the soldiers before they fired, and the inquisitor just deflected their bolts back at them. Two more down. Ahsoka ran forward and engaged him, ducked under his swing and spun around, pushing him back. Her daughter had pulled out her old lightsabers too, holding them forward as though to help. She kept him occupied herself, but then another one appeared at the front of the group, by Rex. He’d called out to her, dodging the reflected bolts. Ashla turned to help him.

She tried not to worry about her daughter fighting another inquisitor while she dispatched the one that had come up behind them. When she finally managed to turn around she saw that Ashla wasn’t doing too badly, her and Rex seemed to have worked out a system where she’d keep the inquisitor’s blades busy and he’d shoot his blaster. By the looks of it, he’d already hit the inquisitor in the foot and the shoulder. She flipped, jumping over their heads and forced him to turn around. Ashla fell back, but Rex caught him in the back of the head and he fell to the ground.

She met eye contact with her daughter and saw her eyes wide and fearful. She herself had grown up with plenty of fighting, violence and death. She’d had too much time to think about the life and world her daughter was having to grow up in. She ignored the guilt, but was sorry Ashla had to witness that.

Ahsoka didn’t have time to comfort her though, she could feel the darkness moving to cut them off. Rex set his arm around Ashla’s shoulder and she looked down, breaking their eye contact. She caught Rex’s eyes and he nodded for her to go on. She was grateful he was here, he could be to Ashla what Anakin had always been to her. For someone who had been manufactured in a clone factory, he had more senses and empathy than most. Which didn’t speak very highly of the rest of the galaxy.

“Follow me,” she beckoned for the other rebels to follow her and took off running back towards the airlock where they’d left their shuttle. She knew that her daughter and Rex wouldn’t be far behind. If the enemy was moving to cut off their escape, they’d be safer behind them. “Go on ahead,” she ordered the ten remaining rebels as another inquisitor burst out into the corridor and she immediately had her lightsabers up to engage him. This was three, but not the source of the darkness she was feeling.

She heard more blaster fire and screams echo around ahead of her and she immediately regretted sending them ahead. It took a few minutes to take out the one in front of her and by the time she got to the cargo hold, there was devastation all around her. Her heart was racing. Where was Rex, and Ashla? Before she could panic, she felt them come up behind her.

“Oh no…” Ashla trailed off, clinging to Rex. She could feel her daughter’s fear and sorrow and it derailed her own ability to think straight.

There was a flash of movement and someone dropped down between them. He was human, unlike the inquisitors and his eyes burned gold. He also had two red lightsabers, but as he stood up straight, he held them behind him in the reverse grip; her signature style. She wasn't the only one that used it, but it was rare to find others that did.

"So, it is true," the Sith said dramatically as he paced around her. "Ahsoka Tano is still alive. The failed Jedi. The failed leader of the rebellion." He sneered ignoring them for now. Rex pulled Ashla back. "Considering how difficult it’s been to find you, I’m pleased it was you that fell into my trap. The rebellion you built is about to fall. And so are you.”

"And who are you?" she curled her fingers tighter around her lightsabers.

"I am Starkiller. Apprentice to the most powerful Sith Lord in the galaxy," he said smugly pacing back and forth in front of her. She watched him carefully.

“Since there are only two, that narrows it down a lot. Which means you're not good enough yet to be a threat to either of them," she taunted, narrowing her eyes in battle readiness. She reignited her lightsabers to shine the brightest white and spun them into her adapted reverse grip; ignoring the residual sting of his words. She was too numb to be bullied today. This was about far more than her accomplishments. If only Vader knew he'd sent his lackey to kill his own daughter. Would he care if he knew? "Well, I was the apprentice to the greatest Jedi that ever lived and last I saw your master, he was limping away from his fight with me. Not a very powerful Sith Lord if I do say so myself," she scoffed.

Starkiller snarled and rushed towards her, swinging wildly. She ducked under his left arm, twirling around to bring her other hand up to strike. She hadn't fought many others that used the reverse grip, but because she used it, she knew very well its strengths and weaknesses. She threw all her focus into keeping him busy and away from Ashla.

They fought intensely. She noticed that Vader had taught him to go for the kill every chance he got; it was a weakness she could easily exploit. Interesting how his teaching methods had changed over the years. He'd always stressed to her the importance of protection and defense. Apparently, his years unchallenged as Vader had made him arrogant; and likely, that arrogance would cost him his apprentice. Not today though. She had no intention of killing him unless she had to. Not that she didn't want to, for endangering her daughter.

That wasn't the way. That wasn't her way, and despite her emotions, she was going to stay true to her beliefs. She’d already killed too many today. Besides, she wanted to send him back to Vader roughed up enough to give him a message. From her, with love. This was personal.

She flipped, twisting over his head and swung fast. One of her lightsabers cut him across the cheek. He fell back but recovered, trying to assault with jabbing moves. She spun to the side, slicing up his arm. He howled in pain and tried to swing forward but her strike had severed muscle and he lost his grip on the saber in his left hand. He continued to fight with just his main hand, but she could tell he wasn't as strong with just the one.

"I have a message for your master," she said, pushing him back with the force into a pile of crates. "Tell him that Anakin Skywalker trained a far better apprentice than Vader."

"You can tell him yourself when you're broken at his feet, but he won't believe you then!" he screamed at her, leaping back to his feet and running back into the fight.

“Look out!” Ashla yelled from behind her and she almost didn’t duck in time. If she could keep Starkiller’s attention on her, they could get away. It wasn’t what she wanted, but…

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swfanficbyjz · 6 years

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SW Rey Theory - Legacy of Light - Chapter 25

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(10 years after Return of the Jedi)

She couldn't move or open her eyes, but she could still hear what was going on around her. She fought to regain control, but something was clamping down on her power. It was all she could do to not let fear overcome her. Galen Snoke was Starkiller? No wonder he'd seemed familiar, but why hadn't she sensed his darkness? Why had it just felt wild? Was it normal to be able to hide like that in the force? Would her mom have even known they were the same person? And what ritual? One that would steal her force power? Was that possible?

She struggled in futility to move. Dozens of voices started chanting around her. She didn't know what was being said, but she recognized the language. It was the same one Snoke used around Ben. He'd claimed it was his native tongue, but now she could feel the darkness in it. She swallowed her fear as she felt several ripples of electricity move down her body. She couldn't even react in pain. Whatever he'd done to restrain her, had made her entire body limp. She'd have thought it was numb, but she could still feel, she just couldn't respond to it. He must have somehow blocked her nerves; if she didn't know better, it was as if they'd short-circuited the entire system.

Stay calm... she was conscious, that meant she wasn't completely powerless. She tried reaching through the force to her mother, but nothing happened. Okay, not feeling so calm anymore...

She felt Galen move around her. He placed things around her body and then he set something down near her head with a dull clunk. Whatever it was, was strong in the force and dark; very dark. Her memory replayed her experience reaching for her father. Then it dawned on her, Starkiller had said he'd brought Darth Vader's daughter.

Her eyes snapped open and she saw Galen standing over her, a long-twisted knife clutched in both hands. She panicked, drawing on the power around her and felt the room quake in response. She leapt off the table in fear after rolling to the side and seeing the burnt helmet of her father. Now that she was somehow free from whatever had been holding her hostage, she raced between the people stumbling from the force quake. Heart pounding, she tried not to second guess herself as she navigated a maze of tunnels. She ducked under falling debris and tried not to get lost. The whole building might come down on top of her before she found her way out. Had she done that? Was that a dark side ability she’d just used? She didn’t know but she hoped not. Her mom would be so ashamed, but she needed her right now if she was going to get out of this.

---

“Mom, I need you!” Ahsoka stopped moving and raised her fist to indicate a pause in their mission. “It’s Galen… he’s Starkiller!” She tensed instantly and looked back at the rugged band of soldiers behind her. She’d been so busy fighting for the birth of the new Republic, she’d hoped her daughter was safe enough with Luke to not have to worry about her, but she’d been wrong. Luke wouldn’t have known about Starkiller. Would she ever learn? Her daughter would never be safe. That was just the way of things.

“Tell me where you are.” She reached out her senses, ignoring the uncomfortable shifts of the people she was in charge of leading. They think she heard something. She did, but not anything pertaining to their current mission.

“Taris. Some place called the Sunken City. Underground. There are other Sith here, but they’re not as strong as him.”

“Are you safe at the moment?”

“I’m hiding, but these tunnels go on forever and they know them better than me. They wanted me for some kind of ritual. They have dad’s helmet.” Ahsoka’s eyes widened.

“Get above ground, use your instincts. Stay away from rakghouls; do not let them bite you. I’m on my way.” The Emperor and Vader had been dead for eleven years, but the Sith were not truly gone. If they had Vader’s helmet… She shivered just thinking about the twisted rituals they had planned. Somehow, they’d found out that Ashla was Anakin’s daughter. She felt Rex’s hand on her shoulder and she turned to him. She gestured for him to lead the group ahead. He didn’t ask questions. He just nodded and squeezed her shoulder. She was grateful for his friendship over the years. That they’d become so in tune he just knew what she needed without her having to say a word. He’d been around her enough now to know that pauses like that meant a conversation with her daughter through the force. Something no one else would understand, and his observation skills never failed to notice what was going on without ever having to know the details of the situation.

After Rex took charge of the mission, she snuck away and opened her senses, and despite the danger her daughter was in she smiled. Nyx was not going to like this.

She took off in the direction she felt him. She probably could have taken one of the ships they’d come here in, but it was bad enough she was abandoning her mission, she didn’t want to steal their escape too. Rex was more than capable of finishing it. She’d only volunteered because she hadn’t had much time with him since she’d been back, and she’d missed her friend. She had hoped for a chance to tell him about Anakin and how he existed still. Rex knew Vader had died, but he didn’t know Anakin was a force ghost. But now… that would have to wait. Although, being on this mission meant she was only a few hours from Taris rather than across the galaxy, so perhaps it was the force intervening again.

Starkiller had become Master Snoke. Somehow, he’d infiltrated Luke’s new Jedi order and no one had noticed or known. But then again, Palpatine had been the Sith lord the Jedi had sought relentlessly throughout the Clone Wars and none of them had had a clue he was right in front of their faces. Had he targeted her daughter to get to her, or because he wanted revenge for the death of his master? Or worse?

Ashla had said ritual… Did they hope to turn her too? Honestly, it didn’t matter. It was time to take him down. Though it wasn’t her way to kill anymore if she could help it; preferring justice to death, she could not let him live on holding a grudge against her and now… If killing him meant protecting her daughter, she would do it and she would not hold back. She didn’t even bother to justify it as ‘removing a threat to the galaxy.’ It was personal, plain and simple.

---

“Ahsoka?” Nyx looked up startled when he saw her leaning back against a crate with her arms crossed. Nyx being here felt like yet another way the force had intervened. What were the odds they’d end up in the same place at the same time? Especially since she hadn’t seen him in thirty-five years? And why did he have Han Solo’s ship? Though considering the circumstances, she was grateful. It was the fastest ship around.

“Hello, Nyx. I need a favor.” He raised his eyebrows and scoffed, but otherwise said nothing. She’d never repaid him for the last favor; raising her daughter for sixteen years. “Ashla is in trouble and I need a ride.” At this, he crossed his arms and narrowed his eyes. She could feel his resentment and she wasn’t in the mood to deal with it right now. “I’m not asking you to do this for me, I’m asking you to do this for her.”

“For her?” he finally spoke. “You abandoned her! I can’t believe you’d do something like that!” he exclaimed angrily. “You’re no better than her father!”

She raised her brows at him, tipping her head back just a bit. She didn’t want to have a row with him, she didn’t want to defend herself for the choices she’d made. They’d been hard enough as it was. “I did what I had to do.”

“And how does that sit with you?” he raged.

She straightened, looking down on him in annoyance. “I said, it was what I had to do. Not what I wanted to do. I love my daughter, more than you could possibly know. To protect her, I had to leave her behind. She was safer with you. You can hate me for that choice, but I made it for her. And to set the record straight, her father never abandoned her, he couldn’t, because he didn’t even know she existed. I never told him.” It took nearly all her self-control to keep her voice even.

He glared at her for a moment longer and then shook his head in disgust. “Where is she?”

“On Taris.”

“You’re going to Taris? Are you insane?”

“You’re going to drop me off and get her out of there. I’m not asking you to put down roots.” She owed Nyx more than she could ever repay. She knew it wasn’t fair. At the time, she’d cared only about her daughter’s safety and her own. She didn’t have to imagine what it was like to have someone never come back, she’d experienced that too many times already, or worse, leave them with an unexpected burden… At the time she’d left, she had every intention of coming back for Ashla. Which obviously had never happened, but she didn’t have time to argue with him. Every second they wasted here was another second Ashla had to fight for her life. If it came down to it, she’d knock him out and fly the ship there herself. She really hoped it wouldn’t come to that. “You’re a smuggler, Nyx. Just think of it as another job.” She opened her pack and threw a pouch of credits at him. “I’ll pay you the rest later.”

He pursed his lips and then threw up his hands in frustration. “Fine. Help me load this cargo and I’ll take you to Taris.”

“And get my daughter to safety.”

“And get Ashla to safety,” he muttered under his breath and picked up a crate. She shook her head, reaching her hand out and called on the force. He stumbled backwards and landed on his butt as the remaining crates lifted off the ground and floated towards the ship. His eyes wide as he stared at her. “You are a Jedi! Her father was too, wasn’t he? You knew how I felt about Jedi, and you left me with one! I had to look over my shoulder constantly!”

“I was a Jedi, yes. I’m not anymore. I left the order before the war ended, and it doesn’t matter if he was or wasn’t. Did I know she’d be able to use the force? Yes, I did. As for looking over your shoulder, you had to anyways. You chose to be a smuggler. Leaving you with a force sensitive child only meant you’d have to pay attention to what you saw when you looked over your shoulder,” she responded in annoyance, brushing past him and hopped up onto the ramp. “I get it, okay? You’re angry. You resent it. Well you know what? I’m angry too. I’m angry I never got to be there with my daughter. I’m angry that you got to see her first steps. That you got to hear her first words. That you got to be there through all of it and not me. I’m angry about the life I had to leave behind, about all the dreams I had that died with the thousands of people I lost. I’m angry about all the sacrifices I was forced to make to give my daughter a chance at a better life. So you can sit here and rage at me, you can fume if you want to. You can live in your tired delusion that you had it so bad. You have no idea what I’ve been through or what the choices I’ve been forced to make have cost me. You got to have my daughter; and after the life I left behind, she was the only thing I had left. The only thing I wanted! I’m sorry, that you can’t see what a gift that truly was.” She turned away and disappeared onto the ship before the tears of fury overtook her.

She left him staring after her as she went to find a cabin or corner to take a deep breath. As annoyed as she was with his accusations, in a small way, they may have helped her. She was now determined and focused on the task at hand; to rescue Ashla. She had a feeling that Starkiller wouldn’t even know what hit him. She may be too emotional for the likes of a Jedi, but Anakin’s encouragement over the years teaching her to process her emotions, meant that she could control them when it mattered most. When lives were on the line, no taunts or bullying could break her focus. The fear came later, afterwards, when she could finally let down her guard.

---

“Okay, we’re here. So where is she?” Nyx grumbled as they entered orbit. She set one hand on the back of his seat and reached out with the force, closing her eyes. She took a deep breath, trying to calm the nerves that were getting increasingly agitated.

“Turn left.” She didn’t have to see him to feel his irritation. “Just do it.” He mumbled something she didn’t care to hear and turned the ship. She guided them through the ruined skyscrapers, never once opening her eyes as she relayed the orders. His irritation gave way into surprise and at one point, dare he admit it? Awe… the corner of her mouth twitched, but then she got blasted by her daughter’s fear. She was close, and Starkiller had found her. She opened her eyes and pointed to the opening ahead. It looked like an old park or something. “Fly low, come around and pick her up.” She raced towards the hatch before he could argue and hit the release.

"What are you doing? Are you crazy?" he yelled from the cockpit in surprise. Sure, now he was worried about her.

"I'm rescuing my daughter!" Ahsoka hollered to be heard over the rushing wind. "And you're going to get her out of here!" She moved cautiously down the steps holding onto the metal suspension.

"You're going to get yourself killed!" She heard him say. She ignored his comment and closed her eyes, feeling her way in the force. He didn't know what she was capable of, and he didn't need to know. She took a deep breath and leapt off in a swan dive; barreling towards the ground at high speed. She spread her limbs out to slow the fall, aiming her body in the direction she felt Ashla.

She caught sight of her daughter trying to outrun a pack of rakghouls who appeared to be obeying Starkiller’s bidding as he followed behind them. She flipped as she pulled her lightsabers to her hands, used the force to slow her fall and landed softly in front of the pack of rabid animals. She twirled and in one move beheaded all of them.

Starkiller looked up at her mildly surprised as though he’d been so zeroed in on Ashla, he hadn’t felt her yet. She stood up in the center of the stinky corpses and puffed out her chest.

“Mom,” came Ashla’s tired voice, filled with relief. She wanted to turn to comfort her, but she didn’t dare take her eyes off him.

"So… We meet again,” he sneered as he pulled out his own lightsabers and ignited them. She stood tall and confident, her own still at the ready. “I should have known you’d come running if I endangered your daughter. I know all about you Jedi. You sacrifice yourselves for others, and your compassion makes you weak. You're afraid of power, so you refuse to take it. I am unstoppable now!" Starkiller taunted.

Ahsoka narrowed her eyes, moving around him like a predator stalking its prey. Carefully working her way between him and her daughter. She tightened her grip on her lightsabers, running her thumb along the ridge, mentally preparing for the talking to end and the fight to begin. "You've made several gross miscalculations today, Galen," she started cooly.

"Don't call me that!" His nostrils flared like an animal about to charge.

"First, you threatened my daughter," she raised one finger and shook it at him. "And that's a no-no. Secondly, I'm not a Jedi, and I will not hold back; but unlike you, I can control my emotions." His anger won as she had expected, and he raced at her. She easily parried his attack, rolling to the side out of the way. "And lastly, the dark side will never be stronger for no matter how much power it gains, it will always be afraid of the light."

He jumped forward, slashing at her wildly. She dodged and ducked, swinging back to block him. "You will not win this time! I’ve become more powerful than you can imagine!" he yelled through gritted teeth as she pushed back on him. She wasn't as young as she once was, but in her age came a comfortable strength. Years of honed senses and instincts winning over fear or concern. What Starkiller didn't understand, was that she had faced the devil and won, worse and survived; and this time, she had no intention of letting him walk away. If he survived this fight, he'd be crawling away in pieces.

She'd let him live before to send a message to Vader, but then he'd tried to hurt her daughter. He did hurt her. The only justice he deserved now was death. She threw him back with the force. He rolled a few times in the dirt before leaping back to his feet and charging at her again.

As much as she hated to admit it, he was right; Jedi were predictable in their nobility and compassion. But she had been trained under the most volatile and unconventional, not to mention powerful one, the order had ever seen. She knew when to restrain herself and when not to. Beyond that, she no longer feared death. She'd found peace in the force, in her situation, in her relationships. Little did he know, that the master he worships no longer exists. He has been restored to the light and he lives in her soul. All of his lessons were still ingrained in her.

She'd adapted her fighting style to be a combination of his and her own. It was powerful in its own right. An even more unconventional version of the already unconventional, reverse grip Jar Kai. She knew better than anyone, how to fight like Anakin too. She'd spent countless hours studying his form for years, wanting to be as good as he had been. It was lethal yet defensive. He had taught her how to fight bigger opponents than her. How to utilize her speed and acrobatics. How to switch forms mid-battle, and even mid-strike. And today, she would unleash him.

She hadn't lasted this long being weak. She wasn't going to start now. Especially when her daughter's escape depended on her. She spun around building momentum, ducked under his left saber, brushed the right to the side, and slashed across his face. He howled in pain as she kicked off him, flipped, and sliced low, forcing him to jump back.

She turned and winked at her daughter who was watching her in awe, shut off her left saber and hooked it back to her belt. "Now you've seen me fight Ashla, how'd you like to see a bit of your father?" She gripped her lone saber with both hands, bringing it up and to the side. Starkiller watched her like an angry and venomous snake. She hadn't even broken a sweat yet.

She rubbed her left toe in the dirt, bending her knees like she was waiting for the pitch in bolo-ball. She sunk deep in the force, feeling the swirl of power and memories. She felt the burst of speed as she drew on her long-practiced lessons, her grip tightened. She ran forward in Anakin's battle dance, meditating in the cool and calm awareness as the world slowed around them. For the moment, she saw only her enemy and moved her saber with determination and intensity.

Her predatory senses snapped to every fumbled slash, every whiff, every weakness in his movements. It felt like eternity as she let the Anakin in her training win. Vader had been powerful, but slow and clunky. He had no longer contained the ability to move with speed and grace. She moved through the meditation, remembering the footwork, the positioning, the power. When she finally let up, she saw Starkiller panting in a heap on the ground.

"How?" he gasped. "It's not possible."

"I learned from the best. Your teacher was only the second-rate version of him." And if Anakin were here right now, if he were watching… he would have been proud. For the first time in ages, she smiled for real.

She pulled out both blades, pointing them at his neck. She glanced up as the millennium falcon reappeared, barreling towards the ground at an alarmingly fast rate.

"Ashla go!" she shouted over the roar of the engine, as it rushed past overhead.

"What about you?" her daughter called back.

"I'll be fine!" Ashla looked like she was about to argue but then raced towards an open area where Nyx was headed.

Ahsoka relaxed knowing her daughter was safe again, flying away from this forsaken planet. “Now, where were we?” She turned back to Starkiller who was still sitting on the ground. She could feel his pain. He was so twisted by whatever magic he’d been experimenting with, he was almost unrecognizable as the young man she’d fought before. His skin sagged on the left side of his face where she’d slashed him twice now. It looked as though disease was ravaging his body and he’d gotten desperate. She almost felt sorry for him. Sorry for whatever had turned him into this. In fact, if she truly wanted to be merciful, she’d put him out of his misery right now.

She glanced past him as a few dozen robed people stepped out of the shadows around them. These must be the other Sith her daughter had mentioned. Ashla had been right, they weren’t very powerful. She was outnumbered, but not outmatched. “I need more power!” Starkiller yelled.

One of the strange acolytes stepped forward, “The ritual takes time, master! And you let our power source get away.” She flipped back in surprise as he force pulled one of his sabers to his hand, but rather than swinging at her, he threw it, lit, at the man that had spoken. A trick he must have learned from Vader.

“Darth Vader’s daughter may have gotten away, but we have someone just as powerful standing in front of us. Any other objections?” he snarled, staggering to his feet as the acolyte that had spoken fell to the ground in two pieces. She closed her eyes, feeling around her. These other people feared him, and he was their leader.

“What are you?” she asked, glancing around. Not feeling quite as relaxed as she had a moment ago. They might not be as strongly Sith as Starkiller, but ancient magic was unpredictable, unstable and harder to fight against. She’d faced it only once before; in the world between worlds with Ezra when the Emperor had attempted to ensnare them both.

“We are the Knights of Ren,” Starkiller said proudly. “And we will restore the Chosen One to his rightful throne, so he can fulfill his destiny and finish what he started.”

She felt her blood run cold. Could they really bring someone back to life? Anakin lived still as a force ghost, but would he be ripped out of that form if they succeeded? The Knights of Ren… Why did that stir a distant memory? And then it dawned on her. Ashla had mentioned it before. Not today when she’d called out for help. She’d said that Leia’s son had talked about them, because Snoke had told him a story of an ancient being; one that didn’t consider themselves Sith, but something far worse than that.

She had to warn Leia, but first, she had to get away. Even if she succeeded in killing Starkiller right now, she couldn’t risk being ensnared here. She needed to survive and escape so she could warn the others. She looked around, scanning for weakness in their ranks. Starkiller wasn’t much of a threat at the moment, but now she was in the same predicament her daughter had been in. Taris was a dangerous place to linger. If she could find a place to hide, she could call Rex to come and pick her up.

She felt a tickle of awareness and looked up to see Morai swooping around above her as if to guide her to safety. She inclined her head, “Well, it’s been fun. I’ll be going now.” She spun out of the way of his swing and leapt up into a nearby tree. She raced across the branch and force leapt to the top of a ruined wall following the convor’s lead.

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SW Rey Theory - Legacy of Light - Chapter 24

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(Within the 1st year or two after Return of the Jedi, 10 years later)

“Han! Leia! Chewie!” Starkiller watched as Luke excitedly hugged his sister and the others. In her arms was a baby. The baby. He’d been training Ashla for months, but she remained infuriatingly light. Even though he had managed to move her away from the idea of telling Luke they were related. After that first day, she’d decided that it was better not to tell him, and he’d done his best to keep them apart. In fact, the reason she wasn’t here right now was because he’d sent her on a training mission. He’d known that Leia Organa was bringing her new baby to visit. There was still the chance to turn her, but now that he felt this child, he was certain it was the one that would fulfill Darth Vader’s destiny. Compared to Ashla though, and even to Luke and his sister, it was weak in the force. It was still young; some people took longer to come into their power than others, but admittedly he was disappointed. Vader’s bloodline was being sullied by the weak. His grandchild should have been magnificent.

At least that wasn’t the end of the plan. Sidious’ journals provided a way to siphon someone’s power. He’d already been experimenting with it and was certain he’d mastered it enough to help this child reach its full potential. The advantage to Ashla not knowing how powerful she truly was, meant that he could steal from her pool of power and she’d never notice. In fact, all he had to do now was get something from this child and he could start working on transferring the power to it. It would be a slow process, but they had the time. He had to be careful to not take too much from Ashla or give too much to the child before it was ready.

It was time to get to work. He plastered on the fake overly enthusiastic smile and headed their way. “Welcome!” he reached out his hand for them to shake. “You must be the sister I hear so much about. I’m Galen Snoke.” The child started fussing the moment he got close. Maybe it was stronger than he’d given it credit for.

“Hello,” she replied, bouncing to comfort the baby in her arms. “I’m Leia and this is my husband, Han. And our good friend Chewbacca.” She made a funny face at the child trying to soothe it. “And this is Ben, but he’s a little cranky right now apparently.” She smiled apologetically at him as Luke fussed over his nephew.

“Do you mind if I try something? Back before the war I was a bit of a baby whisperer. I learned all sorts of tricks to calm them down. Babies are very sensitive to the force, even if they don’t end up being a user. He can probably feel the energy here and it’s disconcerting to him,” he offered casually, smiling reassuringly at her. She looked tired. New babies will do that to you.

“Oh, uh, sure. It’s worth a shot.” She carefully handed Ben over to him. He smiled down at the baby, knowing that soon enough this child would be the leader of the new world order. The boy tipped its head back and bawled so he spoke softly to it, bouncing in a hypnotic rhythm. It slowly started relaxing and Starkiller started singing to it in the ancient Sith language. Within seconds, the baby hushed and stared up at him with big brown eyes. Before long, he was asleep, and Leia was looking at it relieved. And frankly, so was Han. “Wow, you really are the baby whisperer. I should have you come over at night to put him to sleep.”

He chuckled softly, “I’d be glad to, but my duties are here.”

“What was that you were singing?” Luke asked.

“It was an old nursery rhyme my mother used to sing to me in her native tongue. Must have worked on me too. Unfortunately, I can’t remember what the language was called, I only remember the one song.” Starkiller smiled at them. “Whatever it says, it seems to be a powerful tranquilizer. I still use it to relax sometimes.” They didn’t need to know that it was an actual spell. Not one that hurts the baby, only puts it to sleep. No, the other ones will come later; when he's ready.

Seemingly relieved Ben had fallen asleep, Leia and Luke fell deep into conversation about the current events. So he led Han and Chewbacca around the complex making small talk, and giving them a tour while still rocking the child in his arms. He could sense a small force presence in Han, but if he knew about it, he didn't care. He most certainly hadn't nurtured it in any way. Perhaps if he had, the baby in his arms would be that much stronger. When they returned to the entrance, the twins were still talking and likely hadn't even noticed their absence. He took the opportunity while they were all distracted to swipe some of the baby's hair. Once he delivered this to the acolytes, they could get to work preparing him. It was handy that all of these spells could work from a distance so long as they had a piece of the people involved. He already had a piece of Ashla, because he’d used it to test the transfer of power on himself. He’d also used it to steal some of her life in order slow the plague eating away at his flesh. That was how Sidious had brought Vader back to life after Anakin had been so badly burned he couldn’t have recovered without magic. It required someone that person was bonded with, and he’d already bonded with Ashla.

Eventually, he would need to take her to the acolytes for the final ritual, but for now, the child would grow up opened to the dark side and the Sith spirits would haunt his dreams. He would beg for relief and Starkiller would be able to provide it. Soon enough, its parents would feel at a loss on how to help the kid and they’d turn it over to Luke. Once here, he’d be able to prepare it for its ascension; and when that time came… he’d take Ashla to Taris and gift Ben Solo with her power.

---

"Do you know how beautiful you are?" He pushed her back against the ship wall and she smiled.

"You tell me all the time," Ashla bit her lip, watching him. "Hopefully that's not the only thing you care about though."

"Of course not. There's so much more I love about you, but the way you look is definitely a bonus." He kissed her neck and she tipped her head back with a soft sigh. Getting involved with her Jedi teacher probably wasn't going to end well, her mom could tell her that, but as her and Snoke had gotten close over the past ten years, it had just moved comfortably into that. He was irresistible in such a dangerous and yet exciting way. Sometimes he just had to look at her and she'd melt. He'd come from a sect of Jedi that apparently never had the same hang ups when it came to attachments; where love had been encouraged rather than dismissed. None of them had ever been tempted by the dark side. From what she'd been learning, the mainstream Jedi couldn't say the same.

Luke had tried to restart the order like it once had been, but he hadn't been willing to give up his attachments either, so it had become a gray area in the new order. When running missions with Galen, she didn't feel the fear everyone warned about; the fear of losing him. Of course, she worried about him, but if anything, she felt stronger running by his side because they were so close. From what she'd seen in the clips Artoo had played for her when she first got there, her parents beat the odds all the time because they'd trusted each other so much.

"We're on a mission though, now isn't the time," she murmured, her protests were mainly for show anyways, she loved the way it felt when he touched her. It was hard to believe she’d gone so long never knowing what this was like.

"We won't get to Taris for several hours, we have time. Might as well have a little fun," his warm breath against her skin sent waves of heat rippling through her body.

So much for trying to stay the voice of reason. She threw her arms around his neck and let him have his way. Giving into the need and desire he always ignited in her. Her thoughts gave way to a fuzzy haze of pleasure as he stoked her flame.

---

They arrived on Taris mid-morning. She thought their mission was to find a small group of force users that might join their new order. She was so gullible, she’d believe anything he told her. He watched her move through the ruins at the ready, admiring how much she’d grown, but he was also disappointed. He moved behind her and when she turned to look at him he waved his hand in front of her and she collapsed into his arms. "Oh Ashla," he shook his head. "If you'd just let go of your stubborn hold on the light, it wouldn't have to be this way. We could have ruled side by side as husband and wife." He kissed her on the lips and then scooped her up, carrying her deeper underground where the acolytes awaited.

He didn't want to admit that he'd become fond of her, but personal feelings aside, it was time for the heir of Darth Vader to rise. He'd tried for ten years to tempt Ashla into the darkness; using every trick he could think of. Though she'd been, and still was naïve, she was firmly rooted in the light. Her mother had taught her balance; even teaching her to use dark side spells didn't corrupt her. Her passion could ignite feelings in him he’d long thought dead, and if she’d just turned for him, he could mix his business with pleasure. At least once they drain her power, she won’t be able to resist him; she just wouldn’t be as interesting.

Ben was so much easier to manipulate. After the nightmares and the connection to the Sith spirits they had created when he was a baby, he would beg for relief. He'd hang on every story Starkiller told him, good or bad. Once he'd gotten his own lightsaber crystal, the power transfer had begun. He would steal some of Ashla's power and bind it to Ben's crystal. Every time Starkiller helped him feel more powerful, he fell more and more into their grasp. Ironically it was Ashla that had provided him with the method of her own downfall. She’d told him about lightsaber crystals being a container and how force users bond with them. That’s what had given him the idea to transfer her power to his crystal instead of to him. It had worked far better than their original plan.

Tonight, Ashla was going to lose the rest of her power in the last ritual. The blood of the chosen one would be spilled, and Ben's fate would be sealed. When he awoke the next day he would feel a burst of power and in the rush he would turn. They would then bring him here to Taris, and he would take his rightful place as one of the Knights of Ren. Once official, they would give him the artifacts of power that belonged to his grandfather and he would begin his ascent as the new Darth Vader. Then his master would be silent no more and the wellspring of the dark side would be unlocked.

He laid her down on the altar in the middle of the ritual room and brushed his finger across her lower lip. "Don't worry, dear," he whispered to her even though she was still unconscious. "I have no reason to kill you. We will only drain your force power." He ran his hand down her body. "At least pretending to be in love with you wasn't the worst thing in the world."

"Welcome home, Starkiller," Tashu said as he entered the room followed by the rest of the acolytes. Their numbers had multiplied since he'd found them ten years before. The new Republic believed the Empire was crushed. Little did they know, the new order; the First Order of the new darkness was rising from its ashes. The Knights of Ren were pulling strings all over the galaxy, everything was playing out exactly as they planned. And now that Ashla was here, the dark side would rise again; and it would be far more powerful than the Sith had ever been.

"I have brought you Darth Vader's daughter, just as I promised. Prepare the ritual. The time of reckoning has come."

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swfanficbyjz · 6 years

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SW Rey Theory - Legacy of Light - Chapter 12

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(15 years after Revenge of the Sith, end of Rebels season 2)

For weeks following her conversation with her mother about her father, Ashla had been buzzing with questions. No matter how many times she turned it over in her mind, it confused her. One moment, her mom had sounded happy, a soft smile on her lips as she talked about him. The next… she’d gotten sharp and silent. Every time she tried to bring it up afterwards, Ahsoka had quickly shut it down. She’d admitted that it was painful for her to talk about, but Ashla suspected there was more to it than what her mother had said.

She had loved him, that much was clear. She found herself hoping that she’d find a love like that someday too. Why bring it up at all if she really didn’t want to talk about it? She’d always wanted to know about her father, but she’d never had the courage to ask. Ever since she’d told her mother about Luke, she’d been distant, distracted and almost cold. She’d specifically said that Luke’s father was also her father, but surely Ahsoka would have admitted if she had another child, right? Then she’d adamantly commanded her to stay away from Luke. You have a brother, but you can’t talk to him ever. Why? That was what she wanted to know.

Something about her mom’s surliness when it came to the topic disturbed her. Almost everything she’d said about him had been positive, other than his inability to control his emotions. He’d been a hero, he’d died a hero. That’s what she’d said, but… their conversation had prompted her to ask her uncle Nyx about it. Which had been a terrible idea and she should have known better. He’d been drinking beforehand, which most of the time put him in a relatively easy-going mood. The moment she’d brought it up, he had snapped. Not that there were many times he wasn’t drinking anymore.

He’d ranted for at least thirty minutes about how no-good her father was if he abandoned her mother when she was pregnant. Revealing that he knew nothing about him except that his behavior painted him in a very bad light. Then that had led to another rant about how little he’d known about her mother too and ended with him complaining about being stuck with a kid the Empire would give anything to get their hands on; causing him to look over his shoulder everywhere he went. It made business that much harder on him and that he’d never understood what had possessed him to even keep the child after her mother abandoned her. The latter part as though he’d forgotten she was still there and could hear him.

His words had stung horribly. She’d always known that he was jumpy about her abilities and seemed to resent being stuck raising her, but otherwise he’d been a good guardian. He wasn’t perfect, but he took good care of her. Which kind of implied that he cared about her more than he liked to let on. He was terribly self-absorbed when it came to his own safety and profit. Surely he’d get reward money if he turned her over to the Empire, yet he never did. Her mother had sometimes told her that Nyx had stronger opinions than he did a backbone, and that pretty much summed it up.

Her uncle had acted as though he’d completely forgotten the conversation between them, but Ashla unfortunately, could not. And just a few short weeks after that, they’d landed on what appeared to be an uninhabited planet, but turned out to be a small enclave of refugees hiding from the Empire. If any of them were force sensitive like her, it wasn’t clear. But Nyx had insisted she stay there, it would be safer for her, and him, though he hadn’t said it exactly.

It had hurt at first, but then she’d accepted that maybe it was for the better anyways. She didn’t crave the excitement that others did. She hoped he’d be okay by himself. Her mom had been disappointed in him, but seemed to understand what had happened. Though she too had seemed relieved she was somewhere boring and safe. The other refugees had been welcoming and she'd fallen into the daily grind relatively easily. The only excitement was her daily talks with her mother.

---

She awoke with a start from her restless sleep. Her mom had told her she was going on an important mission and might not be able to talk for a few days. She'd needed to focus on what was in front of her. Ever since, every time Ashla tried to sleep she awoke with cold sweats and a racing heart. Feelings of dread slipped into her brain on a constant basis and only seemed to be getting worse. It was like she knew her mother was in trouble and could do nothing about it. She just kept begging the force to protect her.

She staggered out of bed feeling lightheaded and threw on a jacket so she could go get some fresh air. There was a nice meadow with a soothing stream several clicks away and she'd been haunting it like a ghost as she searched for peace the past few days. She'd been at the enclave for about six months now, though it was hard to tell the passage of time when she was so cut off from the rest of the galaxy. She weaved the familiar path there listening to the forest sounds. Her heart still raced and the cool air did nothing to calm her anxiety tonight.

Without warning, she felt a searing burn across her senses and dropped to her hands and knees clutching at the moss on the forest floor. Did she dare open her senses to find out what was causing the nightmares and dread? Did she want to know? Yeah, she did.

She reached for her mother, like she'd done every other night of her life. It felt as though she'd entered a storm. It took a few minutes before she was aware of what was swirling around her; aching, heartbreak, determination, repulsion, yet... love? This didn't have anything to do with her father did it? No, he was dead... That’s what her mom had said.

Then for a split-second, she saw a black cape, a shiny black metal helmet turning to meet her coming assault. A leap, a slash and then exhaustion and fear. Followed by a ragged voice calling her name. No, it wasn't her name... it was her mother's. There was a rush of hope...

In front of her stood a towering figure, dressed from head to toe in black. Around him was purple and red. Crackling lightning emphasized the sharp lines of a skull shaped helmet. She heard her mother's voice, Anakin? I won't leave you, not this time. She looked up at the face and saw a teasing of skin and one gold eye staring back at her. Yet in her heart there was pain, longing and love.

"Then you will die!" the monster breathed venomously and Ashla screamed, writhing on the ground in the damp moss. It took her a long time to catch her breath and find her bearings again. Who was that man? Was it even a man? Why did her mom feel so much love for him? Unless...

She stared unblinkingly at the sky as tears burned her eyes. Her father was alive. And he was about to kill her mother. No! She jumped up as though there was something she could do about it. She stopped running after a few minutes and leaned against a tree. "Mom?" she cried in the force. There was no answer. It felt like her heart had exploded. There was nothing but a void there now. She fell to her knees panting.

One of the villagers found her in the morning, still curled in a fetal position in the dirt. She felt numb and lost. Exhausted from searching for her mother in the force all night. There was nothing there. She couldn't be dead, she couldn't be. She was always there, as long as she could remember, her mother had always been there. There was just a hole there now. She'd never before felt so scared and unsure. She'd give just about anything for Nyx to be here right now. His presence wouldn't be that comforting, but it would be better than the feeling of loneliness that had overwhelmed her.

---

“May the force be with you, Ezra Bridger,” Ahsoka said aloud as she turned and headed back towards the temple. She was too tired and numb at the moment, to think about everything that had just happened. She was sorry to hear about Kanan’s death. Or rather, his eventual death. He was just another victim of the changing galaxy, like the rest of them. Ezra had told her to come find him the moment she got back, but she wasn’t ready to face the future yet. Right now, she needed to rest. Right now, she needed to mourn.

When she reached the bottom step, she sunk down in exhaustion. She closed her eyes and reached out with the force. He was gone. So was Maul. She hung her head as the pain overwhelmed her. The tears fell, she couldn’t hold it in anymore. She was vaguely aware of Morai swooping around above her, but she didn’t have the strength to look up. Her body shook, but she couldn’t allow herself to think right now. She let it all pour out, however unhealthy it was.

Eventually the tears dried, but the pain of it still stung her soul. She glanced up to see that the convoree had landed on top of a giant stone block and was watching her curiously. Part of her wanted to be alone right now, but she didn’t shoo her away. The underbelly of the temple was dark and cold. In the distance she could make out a ring of light, shining in through the cracked upper levels. She pushed herself to her feet and limped towards it. The light illuminated a pile of stones that must have collapsed when the temple exploded. She noticed pieces of flooring and tile that matched the room they’d been fighting in.

She looked up through the hole and could see white cracks still glowing from where she’d stabbed her lightsabers into the floor to break it open. This must be where he fell through. At least she wasn’t having to stare at a body; he’d survived the fall. Her final sacrifice hadn’t been in vain. Not that she wanted to think about what the consequences would be of saving him. Or the many more horrible things he could do because she’d helped him live on. She hadn’t been able to do it. He’d trained her to always do what needed to be done. In her mind, this didn’t count. Even if he needed to be stopped, there had to be a better way.

She chewed her bottom lip and laid down across the stones, curling herself into a ball and tried to imagine him lying with her. Not as this monster, but as he’d once been. The pile of rubble was hardly comfortable, but it was the closest she could get to him for now. She let herself drift into a fitful sleep.

---

Every muscle in her body ached when she awoke. She rolled her shoulders and tried to stretch. Her eyes fell on a crumpled piece of paper she hadn’t noticed before. She reached for it and smoothed it out over her knee, staring at it in disbelief. It was a drawing, a sketch, of her and Anakin. Her chest tightened as she studied it. It was casual, like a candid moment back in the day. Where had this come from? Who would have drawn this? She traced a finger across the image of her. It was so detailed; a perfect representation of what she’d seen in the mirror a million times. She followed her gaze in the picture and saw that she was looking up at him, a smile on her lips, adoration in her eyes. He towered over her, his long, unruly hair seemed to be blowing in the wind. Her breath caught in her throat when she saw the way he’d been drawn looking at her. He was wearing a proud expression, but there was more too it; there was love in his eyes. He had his arm around her shoulders, a goofy grin on his face.

She swallowed hard as the tears welled up again, threatening to overwhelm her. Had this come from him? Had he been carrying it all this time? Had he been the one that had drawn it? She hadn’t known he could draw. But then again, there were a lot of things about him she didn’t know. Strangely it made sense that he’d be an artist of sorts. He was always working on things with his hands, was drawing that much different? If he had been carrying it, then likely he was also the one that had crumpled it up and discarded it.

�� She sat up suddenly, looking around, “Morai.” Ahsoka put out her arm for the convor to land on. “I know what I said to Ezra, but is there really no hope for him?” She’d been trying to swallow her doubts, but they were creeping to the surface. Why was it always easier to tell someone else to do something rather than do it yourself? No matter what anybody said, letting go of him just wasn’t that easy. Especially after seeing that he had carried this piece that still connected them. Morai hooted softly at her and she looked down at her feet. “There has to be something I can do. I know he’s still in there, I saw him! I can’t believe he’s truly gone.”

The bird took flight off her arm and flew around for a moment and then transformed into her human form; her soft white glow illuminating the darkness of the temple. “When my brother killed you, your master, even in the face of death, truly believed there was hope you could be brought back. He said there was always hope. It was his plea that moved me to give myself to you.” Ahsoka looked up at her in surprise. Her friend never talked about the details of what happened that day. Death was a tiresome topic and yet it occurred around her all the time. Hearing that Anakin had plead for her life made the fact that he’d almost killed her that much worse. But she was being sincere; regardless of whatever had happened that had turned him into this, whatever had turned him against her, she still wanted to help him. She’d sworn in the heat of the moment that she wouldn’t leave him again and yet, she’d been ripped away from him. Which now that she thought about it, seemed to be a reoccurring theme in her life. Even if she wasn’t the one meant to save him, was there a way to protect the good in him? He was delusional in the lies he’d been living. The Emperor and the dark side had ensnared him well.

“If I could be saved from death, there must be some way I can save his true self,” Ahsoka sighed.

Morai moved closer and looked her over, “It would come at a great cost to you, but there is a way.”

She looked up at her hopefully, “Really?”

“I disagree with the Jedi and their view of attachment, but your love for this man blinds you to your own importance. That boy was led to the nether realm to bring you back because you have a bigger role to play in the galaxy. And yet, you are still willing to sacrifice yourself and your power to save someone that all others have given up on? Is it because you have a child with him?”

“No… I think it’s more than that. It’s something that’s hard to explain…” she trailed off and played with her hands. Was Ashla the only reason? It couldn’t be. “You claim I have a bigger role to play and yet all the paths I see come back to him. He was the chosen one. I once thought I was not worthy to stand by his side and now… even if that is still true… my instincts tell me this bigger role still involves him. Maybe he still has a role to play. I don’t know how and I don’t know why, only that it does.” She'd left him behind that fateful day all those years ago. She'd left knowing he'd always be there. Like a rock; steady, strong… immovable. That's how she'd always seen him anyways. Others had called him volatile and reckless and maybe he was. But no matter where they were or what they were facing, all she had to do was look up at his face, his jaw set in determination, and she'd feel safe. She'd feel like they would survive another day. She never could've imagined a day she'd see his jaw set against her.

The temple bombing, the following trials, Bariss' speech... it had rocked both their faith in the Jedi order, but she was the only one that escaped. She had someone else depending on her leaving. The unborn child that had been both a curse and a blessing that day. She set her hand on her stomach remembering the feeling; the mixture of fear, betrayal, awe and nervous excitement. She'd always wanted to be a mother. The rules of the Jedi order and the oaths she'd sworn had never made that dream waiver. The dream had always been accompanied with a secondary one, however, that the child's father would be there too. Maybe it was all about Ashla.

“Then I will help you,” Morai said. Ahsoka shook her doubts and looked at the ethereal image of someone who had become a dear friend in the last sixteen years. “Deep inside his subconscious lives the part of himself he wishes to destroy. So far, it has withstood the test of time, but without help, it could be lost forever. The journey there will be treacherous. It will demand much of your power and strength, and it will test your resolve in unimaginable ways. I will lead you there, but once there, you will be on your own. A word of warning however, even if you succeed in saving him, there is a great possibility you will lose yourself in the process. Where you are going there is nothing that can save you. No tricks of the force that can bring you back. You will be trespassing in a place he does not want you to be and he will retaliate. To survive, you must know when to let go.”

“I am ready.”

“Then first, you must see the heart of the Sith as a whole.” Morai reached up and touched a finger to her forehead.

She stood on the ridge looking out across devastation as far as the eye could see. She didn't need a planet wide scan to know she was alone here, she could feel it. The echoes of death. Thousands of lives extinguished in the span of a heartbeat. It tore her very soul apart to try to comprehend that such a weapon could be constructed; even by the Sith.

She didn't dare touch the bodies frozen in their poses of death, they'd just turn to ash and blow away with the wind. Their lightsabers littered the battlefield, whispering stories of pain and suffering. She chose not to touch those either. It was like she could see the ghosts of every person she'd ever lost; dancing across the battlefield as though this place were the cemetery of the broken. Malachor, whatever it once had been, was now so steeply rooted in the dark side it was difficult to breathe.

She let her eyes rest on the shattered peak of the temple weapon. Memories burned across her senses of the pain of her last fight. She hoped the holocron they recovered was worth the sacrifice. The only good thing she could see from all of this, was that this weapon could never be used again. Wouldn't stop them from creating more, so it was merely a small consolation.

“Search yourself,” Morai’s voice floated around her in this vision. “This place is but a glimmer of what you’ll be facing inside him. What do you feel?”

“Anger.” It felt like she was hit with burning coals as the flash seared across her senses. It curled her fingers. “And hatred. The need to destroy…”

“Deeper.”

She squeezed her eyes shut, jaw clenched against her burning flesh. It felt as though she was sinking into a pool of molten lava. The pain was excruciating. It made her want to lash out, to throw this pain at someone else. She fell into a dark cavern and looked around; the anger melted into paranoia. Everywhere she looked it felt like something was going to jump out at her at any second. She was on edge reaching for her lightsabers but they weren’t there. Panic rose, there was no way for her to defend herself. She felt vulnerable, exposed… weak… She had to control this, she had to find power. “Fear,” she muttered suddenly, remembering this was just a vision. “Beneath the anger and hatred is fear.”

She blinked a few times looking around as she came out of it. “You understand now. The heart of the dark side is fear,” Morai whispered. “How to you fight fear?”

“With love,” Ahsoka breathed. “The opposite of fear isn’t bravery or power, it’s love. When I was afraid, I’d do it anyways. Why? Because he had always shown me love. For him I would walk any path, face any outcome. Had he been cold, had he just told me to be brave, it never would have worked. The fear would have destroyed me. But he didn’t. In every way he showed me love. With love, I could face my fears.”

“And the absence of love?”

“Fear turned into suffering… into darkness,” Ahsoka replied thoughtfully. “There is no light side or dark side, only love and the absence of it. Which means that the Jedi were wrong; a person is not lost forever to the dark side unless they are never again shown love.” Which is exactly what Palpatine wanted. He wanted Vader to not seem human. He wanted him to look intimidating and terrifying. That way people would look at the mask and see only a monster. She knew what he had done; it was monstrous. But she also knew who was inside that suit. She knew what he’d once been. That was why she was so threatening to the Emperor; she could see past the monster he’d become. For that… she had to die. Fear was the heart of the Sith. She’d found the knowledge they’d come to Malachor for. To beat the enemy, you had to understand them. Now she did. They were afraid. What had he said to her when she’d claimed she knew who he really was? Skywalker was weak… I destroyed him. They sought power because they were afraid to be vulnerable. Afraid of the light. Afraid of love, believing love made them weak. So they stopped loving.

“Can your love save him?” Morai asked. It hadn’t been enough when she’d gotten that glimpse of him in the temple. What now felt like just a trick of the light. She wanted to save him, that much was true. She wasn’t sure if she could or not, or if she was enough. All that mattered was that she wouldn’t stop trying, because she loved him. She had no such fear of weakness. He’d once stopped at nothing to find her if she was lost, she would do the same. He was lost, and she would do whatever it took to find him. It wasn’t about Ashla, and it wasn’t about honor or belief that she owed him. It was simply about love. She loved him. She’d always loved him. And she wasn’t ready to let go. She would do it in the moment, if the moment demanded it. But deep down, she never would. It was just like she’d told Master Secura all those years ago; for the greater good she would not sacrifice many lives for the life of one… however… it didn’t mean she couldn’t try to save his too.

“I don’t know, but I have to try.” If he’d carried a picture he’d drawn of them for sixteen years after turning to the dark side, that had to mean he was still in there. Anakin Skywalker was still alive, and she had to try to release him. The only way to do that was to walk the treacherous path to his soul. She hoped her love was strong enough.

---

The warm liquid felt like it was burning across his skin. Every part of his broken body screamed in agony; memories of the fire that had seared his flesh. Even after all these years, the wounds felt fresh. He forced himself to ignore the pain and push it aside, using it only as a tool to keep his hatred alive. His eyes stung as the last of his body was submerged in the medicinal liquid. He squeezed them shut.

Once the initial shock to his senses had worn off, he allowed himself to sink deep in the darkness of the force that swirled around him like a maelstrom. Everything was red and black. A cold like he'd never known, but there was power in it. Power to push forward, to reach for, to hang on.

Inside the maelstrom was ultimate power, and only those brave enough to take it. He let it bathe him in darkness, feeling rejuvenated by purpose and strength. The wounds she'd caused would heal in time. He just had to be patient.

She thought she'd won by cutting open his mask, but he would not be deflated so easily. She was weak, like he'd once been. If only she'd accepted his offer. Then he'd show her what true strength really meant. He'd fought for this. All of it. It was his life's work. The Emperor, in all his wisdom, had done exactly as he promised. He'd ended the Clone Wars. He'd brought peace. He'd fixed a floundering failure of a system. The losses and sacrifices, a small price to pay for such potential.

He wished he'd understood his vision sooner. He'd have stood by his side to help build it. While the Imperials scuttled about building fancy weapons, they failed to realize the power of the force. The few remaining Jedi could not return it to the light. In the clarity of the dark side was there true peace and hope.

The weak would meet their due fate in time. Everyone he hurried along to it was another victory. The rebellion they assembled was pathetic. Good was easy to defeat, because it was predictable. It was compassion. It was wasted effort; fighting so hard for so little. If he'd realized that truth sooner, he never would have fought with the Jedi. They were too afraid to do what was necessary for victory, and they paid for it with their lives. Good riddance.

He burned in anger over their fight. The lingering dissatisfaction of not being able to end years of preparation. It wasn’t that he wanted to destroy her so much as everything she represented. The longer she lived, the more dangerous she was. The fact that she had pulled Skywalker out of him so easily both made him angrier and also terrified. That part of him was dead and gone. After everything he’d done to get here, he could not have it surface like that again. At least she was gone now.

She’d vanished in front of him as though she’d simply been a vision. He didn’t know how that was possible. He’d had his lightsaber up about to swing the death blow and then she was gone. He’d swung it through nothing. He thought he’d seen something right before she vanished, but he couldn’t recall now. His attention had been on her and only her. She’d stabbed her lightsabers in the floor causing it to break, but it had not worked for her fast enough. He still didn’t understand why she’d done that. She had to have known he’d take advantage of her dropping her guard. He’d trained her better than that.

He fell deep in meditation, allowing the darkness to refuel his passion. He welcomed it into every corner of his soul. When he’d come to at the bottom of the temple, he’d reached his senses out for her, but she wasn’t there. It was like she’d never been on Malachor at all. He’d searched for her multiple times before leaving, but had felt nothing. Where could she have gone? It didn’t feel as though she was dead, just missing. He wanted to ask the Emperor; he wanted guidance. But he was afraid to tell his master of his weakness. Afraid to admit she had gotten away somehow. And worse, afraid that she still lived out there knowing that Skywalker wasn’t as dead as he should be.

He tried to lose himself in meditation, but doubts continued to surface around him. He looked around at the world he’d been building in his head. A place as volatile and unpredictable as the planet he now lived on. An accurate representation of his soul. Here there was power, so much power. Here he could harness it and become everything the Emperor believed him capable of being. She may have broken through his conscious walls, but light could not penetrate here.

He looked up suddenly, what was left of his heart fluttered before he could clamp it down. How had she gotten here? It was impossible! But she was still alive, just as he’d assumed.

She stood at the edges of his consciousness; like discomfort you could feel but couldn't see. Except he could see her, clearly. Somehow she’d found her way in and he had to do something to get rid of her. Her orange face watching him in sorrow. The lines etched deep enough to distort her distinctive markings. He raged at her. She was foolish to enter here. What she wanted was dead and gone. He'd made sure of it, but nothing he threw at her made her leave.

She dropped to her knees as though in meditation. Light radiated from her, burning the darkness and pushing it back. He fought it with double the intensity and hatred; swirling it around her trying to suffocate it. The light she gave off could not be destroyed. He deigned to ignore her instead. He laughed at her efforts, mocking her audacity and persistence. Did she really think that her puny light would save his soul?

There was nothing left to be saved. He turned his back, but try as he might, he could not completely ignore her. She'd made herself at home in his consciousness. She came every day. Sitting there, meditating, shining. Most days he could pretend she wasn't there. Most days he could focus on other tasks, but every so often he felt drawn to the light, like a moth to a flame. Sometimes he'd just watch her, anger fuming in him. Other days he'd creep closer, wondering what was on her mind.

Why did she come? Why didn't she run away? No matter what he threw at her, night after night, she was there like clockwork. Haunting him, burning him, infuriating him.

He refused to acknowledge the longing. The yearning to reach to her. Every time it crept its way in, he'd burn it out with a fresh rush of hatred. Her efforts were futile. In time she would learn that.

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SW Rey Theory - Legacy of Light - Chapter 10

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(15 years after Revenge of the Sith, during Rebels season 1)

“Uncle Nyx?” Ashla said from where she lounged on top of the wing, staring at the spaceships as they came and went. Mos Eisley was intriguing to her. There was so much diversity and life to the city. She blinked up towards the twin suns. It was too hot here though, for her taste. And there was so much sand.

They’d stayed with Han Solo and Chewbacca for nearly three years. Though captain Solo had never spoke of their first argument about whether she was a Jedi again, he did seem to appreciate the ways she helped fix up the ship. Chewie and her spent a lot of time together working on it and she enjoyed his company even though it took a long time to start understanding him. Life with them had been exciting, but eventually her uncle had decided it was time for them to go their own way after saving up enough to buy another ship. Traveling with them had opened up other job opportunities and contacts too, so now they were doing better than they had been before. By the end of their time together, she’d been sad to say goodbye and hoped they’d get to cross paths again someday.

“What is it, Ashla?” he said from under the hull of their junker ship.

“I can’t believe people would want to settle on a planet like this.”

“Not all of them came here by choice. Now get your head out of the clouds and make yourself useful,” he pointed to the bag of tools.

“What clouds?” she sassed and hopped down to rummage through the bag. "I don't think I've seen a cloud since we left Bespin.

“Socket wrench,” he ordered. She pulled out the tool and handed it to him. “We’re almost done, I just have to get this one piece… kriff!” She heard a zap and looked under the ship at him. He was nursing his hand and staring angrily at the sparking part he’d been working on as though the machine would fix itself.

“What happened?” she asked, shaking her head. He rolled out from under the ship and kicked it.

“We need a new alluvial damper or we’re not going anywhere. The one that Toydarian sold me was faulty!” he said in annoyance. “Here girl. Go find a dealer that has one. On the double.” He dropped some credits in her hand. ‘On the double’ usually meant she had plenty of time.

“What are you going to do?” she smirked at him. This always happened. He broke parts and she had to go fetch. It was a good thing she was good at that. Sometimes it felt like she had a nose for parts, she always found the right shop on her first pick.

“I’m going to go get a drink.,” he said smugly.

“Don’t gamble away our lunch money then.” She rolled her eyes. She watched him walk away talking to himself angrily. She just smiled to herself. It wouldn’t take long for her to find the part, so she decided to go explore the city first.

She headed out the north door, locking the hanger behind her. She wandered the busy streets for awhile, taking in all the sights and sounds. Her favorite part about traveling around the galaxy was seeing the differences between the planets and the people. She closed her eyes, reaching out with her senses; feeling the energy around her like her mom taught her. The things she felt when she opened up always fascinated her. It was like the city came to life, full of color and sound. She’d tried to explain it to Nyx before, but he didn’t understand. It made her miss her mom. She wished she was with them. As amazing as her experiences with the force were, she hated having no one to share them with. Her uncle tried to listen sometimes, but there was so much she couldn’t tell him. And everything she could do made him nervous.

He’d tell her to keep her head down and not do it in public. She knew why of course, the Empire was everywhere. It was dangerous to be like her. But using it to explore and feel new places wasn’t anything other people would notice. It felt safe enough.

She moved forward feeling her way around, losing herself in the energy and feeling connected to it. She was so distracted by the feeling she didn’t notice the person step out in front of her. She crashed into them and then fell backwards onto her butt. He’d tumbled forward dropping a handful of parts all around them. “I’m so sorry!” she rushed to help him pick them up.

“Don’t worry about it,” he looked up at her and blushed. He looked about her age, maybe a little younger. He had light blonde hair that was wavy like hers. And soft blue eyes, also like her. She looked at him confused for a moment. He felt kind of familiar. Did she have a long-lost twin somewhere?

"Are you building a power converter?" she asked after looking over the parts in her hands.

"You could tell that just by looking at the pieces?" he sounded surprised.

"Um... yeah..." she shifted nervously. "It's kind of a gift. I can see random pieces and in my mind, I know how they should go together. I know it sounds silly, but it's hard to explain."

"I don't think it's silly, I think it's amazing," he said in awe. She blushed and looked away.

"You've got the wrong fuses though. You need thirty AMP ones. Otherwise you'll end up frying the battery," she handed him back the parts.

"Really? I like tinkering but I don't know much about parts. Most of the time I'm just feeling my way through it. That's probably why I have to keep starting over." He sounded frustrated. "I spend all my allowance having to replace pieces. I never get anywhere."

"Do you have the rest of the parts nearby? I could help you, if you wanted," she shuffled her feet, feeling shy suddenly. He was cute.

"I don't live in town," he said disappointed. "Otherwise I'd gladly take you up on your offer. I've been working on this same converter for over a year."

"Why so long?" she watched him curiously.

"Well, I don't get to come into town very often. And when I do, I don't have much money for all the parts I need," he looked down ashamed. She wished she could help him out, he seemed so nice. "But hey, if you're up for a day trip you could follow the road that way to the Lars farm. Maybe we could work on stuff together some time?" he said hopefully. She didn't think she could get away with being gone from her uncle that long. But she was sorely tempted to go anyways. She felt a kind of odd connection to this boy. Almost as though he were a kindred spirit. She'd have to ask her mom about it later.

"I wish I could," she said sadly. "But once my uncle gets our ship fixed, we're heading back to Bespin."

"Bespin? The cloud city? Is that where you're from?" He tipped his head to his side studying her.

"No," she laughed. "I'm from Coruscant. But my uncle and I travel around the galaxy doing odd jobs for people. Why are you looking at me like that?"

"It's just... well it looks like you have, I don’t know... markings on your face or something."

"I'm half alien," she said with a mischievous grin. She wasn’t supposed to tell people that, but this boy seemed harmless. Besides, Tatooine was a haven for all types, was she suddenly going to be hunted down if she mentioned it? It was controlled by the Hutts, and there were no stormtroopers in sight. In a weird way, it felt like a breath of fresh air, even though the city didn’t smell that great. He smiled broadly, his eyes sparkled in the sunlight.

"Really? What kind?"

"Togruta," she said.

"Togruta? Don't they have horns and head tails?"

"Montrals and lekku. And yes, they do. I told you, I'm only half!"

"Interesting! I think you got the better half." He looked embarrassed. "I don't mean that as an insult to whichever parent is Togruta. I just meant... well... you're really pretty." He dropped a couple pieces on the ground again.

"None taken. And thank you. You're not so bad yourself," she teased, blushing a little.

"Luke! Luke!" a woman called from the distance.

"Oh, that's my aunt. I better go. It was nice to meet you... uh..."

"Ashla," she said. "My name is Ashla Okami."

He smiled again. "I’m Luke. Luke Skywalker." He dropped another couple parts reaching out to shake her hand. She was surprised to feel a little electricity in his touch. "If you're ever in the neighborhood, feel free to come visit!" he said after she picked up the parts and set them back in his arms.

"I'd like that," she waved goodbye as he hurried to the woman that had called his name. Her mind was buzzing. There was something about him, she couldn't put her finger on it.

Ashla found the damper part her uncle had requested and returned to the hanger, unable to stop thinking about the boy. Whatever her senses meant, she liked him. It was a shame they weren't staying here awhile longer.

She laid down on the cart and rolled under the wing. She took apart Nyx's sloppy patch work and worked out her tension on the metal pieces in front of her. She liked working with machines, they were simple, yet complex. She felt calmer when she worked with them, as though keeping her hands busy made thinking easier.

Luke Skywalker... everything about him seemed so familiar. Almost like a dream she'd once had, of someone she was supposed to know. He wasn't the one she'd dreamt about, she was sure of that. But for some reason, he felt like he was connected to the person she'd dreamt about. And his name... it felt almost like a memory. It felt like it was floating right there, just out of reach.

She finished patching the ship and sighed. Packing up all their gear. She went inside to start the engines, they fired correctly this time. She ran a diagnostic on the ship to make sure everything was in order.

"Hey doll," Nyx slurred stumbling up the ramp. "If you fixed the ship, let's get out of here." She could smell his breath from where she sat and waved a hand in front of her nose.

"Uncle Nyx, you shouldn't drink so much," she fussed. This was normal, she was used to it. But she didn't like it.

"Don't worry, your pretty head," he stuttered falling sideways into the seat as she punched the buttons to lift off. "I only had one bottle." She rolled her eyes, reaching past him to press the door hatch.

"How big was the bottle?" she asked stubbornly.

He moved his hands to show size, but then dropped them, passing out in the chair. She sighed deeply and took over control since her co-pilot was now unconscious. It was a good thing he allowed her to fly most of the time now. She knew the ins and outs of this ship far better than he did. Mainly because every time he got drunk, she had to fly it. She was only sixteen, but she loved the freedom. She thought of Luke's name again and half smiled. Maybe she was a walker of the skies too.

---

"Mom!" Ashla's voice came through clear tonight. Ahsoka smiled at how far she'd come in the force. "The craziest thing happened to me today!"

"Oh yeah?" Ahsoka asked. "What was that?"

"I met this boy who was just like me," she said dreamily. Ah yes, young love.

"Just like you? How so?" she wondered if she’d stumbled on another force user. She filed it away in her memory banks in case the Empire decided to invade yet another world. Ashla didn’t know it, but she found a lot of potential allies to the rebellion based solely on the things her daughter had reported to her over the years. That’s also how she’d known to send the Ghost crew after the Wookiees. But she’d resisted telling her about the rebellion so that she didn’t get any wild ideas to try to join it.

"Well he kind of looked like me, but I felt this connection with him. I don't know how to explain it. It was like he was familiar, as if I’d seen him or someone like him in a dream. I felt like I should know him."

"That is interesting," Ahsoka murmured thoughtfully. "Did this boy tell you his name?"

"Yeah. He said his name was Luke Skywalker." Ahsoka nearly fell off the stool she was meditating on. So it was true then... Padmé lived long enough to give birth to their child. She’d never fully been convinced by Bail’s words all those years ago, but she’d had too many other things to worry about to investigate further. Senator Organa had never told her exactly what happened around Padmé’s death, but she’d seen the funeral procession broadcast on the holonet later. Whatever her and Anakin had done, she had mourned the loss of senator Amidala as much as she had any others. And believing that their child hadn’t survived had made her death that much more tragic.

Her head was reeling, it was hard to focus on her daughter all of a sudden. She wondered briefly if Padmé was still alive too, but surely if she was, Ahsoka would have crossed paths with her. She was not the type to stay out of a rebellion that fought such oppression. Her whole life had been devoted to fighting for the people. Besides, if she had somehow survived, they’d gone to such elaborate lengths to fake her death. "Mom? Are you okay?" her daughter asked.

"Yes dear. I'm sorry. I got a little distracted. Tell me about him." Ashla went on to describe her interaction with her half-brother. Ahsoka kept wondering if she was ready to tell Ashla the truth. She wasn't. Not really. Thankfully her and Nyx traveled around a lot. So the likelihood of them crossing paths again was slim.

"What a nice young man," Ahsoka commented when Ashla told her about his invite. "Dear," she sighed heavily. "I'm really tired tonight. We'll talk more tomorrow. I love you."

"I love you too," Ashla said.

She blinked a few times, pulling herself out of the meditation. Anakin had another child out there. Why was that both exciting and painful? She swallowed hard, reminding herself that her, and consequently Ashla, had always been secondary in his life. What was she hoping? That Anakin would come back from the dead and profess his love only to her? She shook the thought off her. It was too heavy to bear. What were the odds that their daughter would meet him and Padmé's child? It was a huge galaxy. Yet... Ashla had felt a connection with him. Maybe she should have told her the truth about her father. No... she wasn't ready yet. Or maybe she was. Maybe she needed to talk about it.

There were so many pent-up emotions and lingering feelings revolving around Anakin. He’d been dead for fifteen years. Nothing had filled the empty space inside her where he’d been. She’d witnessed countless deaths, but none had stung as bad as his. Yes, she’d been close to him. Yes, she’d loved him. And she’d most certainly been attached to him, despite all the Jedi warnings. But she’d believed that time would heal the gaping wound in her soul and it had not. She’d simply learned to grit her teeth and keep moving.

But that was before she had learned the truth. He was still alive, if you could call it that. There was little she’d been able to discover about how he’d ended up where he was now; as something else entirely. Since the horrific revelation, the wound in her soul had started hurting all over again. Worse this time though, burning her as though it was on fire. She’d cried on Rex’s shoulder that night the Ghost crew had brought him to the rebellion. He’d been equally horrified both for what it meant to her and her child, but also for his own reasons. Had it not been for him that night though, the cavern of pain surely would have collapsed in on her. But Rex couldn’t be around all the time; he had valuable intel and expertise to offer the rebellion. And she was often left alone with her thoughts and fears.

Finding out there was another child of his out there… it felt like the wound was bleeding all over again. Luke Skywalker. How much was he like his father? If she found him would she be looking at a younger version of him? Or was he too, in danger of becoming something awful? Did it also put her daughter in danger as well? She didn’t know. Ashla deserved the truth, and maybe if she finally told her, maybe together they could heal it.

The last thing she needed though, was Ashla getting the wild idea that she had to go looking for her father. Darth Vader was even less likely to accept her than Anakin was. And if he found out the truth… surely she’d never be safe again. And she could not let that happen.

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SW Rey Theory - Legacy of Light - Chapter 3

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(8 months after tcw S5:E20, right before unfinished Utapau arc)

Ahsoka grimaced in pain as the contractions hit with more intensity and more frequency. The pain was unbelievable, and that was saying something since she'd survived broken bones, blaster wounds and lightsaber cuts. The baby was ready, she could feel it in the force. She needed to go get Nyx, but she'd been dragging her feet. Not only was every movement painful, there was someone else she'd rather have with her right now.

She cried out as the next one hit with double the intensity. "I know you want to come out kid, but could you take it easy?" she grumbled aloud. She laid back, wiping the sweat off her brow and tried to take a deep breath. Even that was painful. It felt like she would burst like a balloon. She gritted her teeth trying to power through the pain, but she felt the bed suddenly get damp. She looked down at her pants, stained as though she'd peed herself. Oh great.

With great effort, she peeled them off and hobbled into the refresher. "Nyx!" Her call became a scream as the contraction hit so hard she had to grab the sink so she didn't fall over.

He bounded through the door eyes huge, looking her up and down. "Wha.....?" He didn't even have a chance to finish as he slid on the leaking fluid racing to catch her as she fell backwards. She landed hard on his lap as they tumbled to the ground. She let her head fall back into his shoulder, closing her eyes as tears streamed down her face. "You're in labor!" he stuttered in shock.

"You think?" she said tightly, trying not to lash out at him just because everything hurt. It wasn't his fault. It wasn't anybody's fault. She couldn't even blame the baby's father. But she wished he was here right now. Though, now that she thought about it, maybe not. She'd seen Anakin power through countless crazy scenarios without so much as a flinch, but she suspected this would be an entirely new and terrifying ordeal for him. What would he offer that Nyx couldn't? Well for one thing, she trusted him a lot more.

"I should get a doctor!" He tried to stand up, but she gripped his thighs so he couldn't move.

"Too late!" she cried, digging into his legs unnaturally hard as she felt the pressure of the baby's skull on her pelvis. To Nyx's credit, he barely yelped as blood stained his pants where she'd clawed him. She didn't have time to feel guilty as the next contraction pushed the baby further down. She took several rapid breaths, releasing him so he could come around and catch it. He grabbed a towel from the shower and placed it on the floor between her legs. She fell back onto her elbows panting.

Another contraction, another push. Pain crashed through her in waves. Sweat poured from her forehead and mixed with her tears, making her blanche at the sickly salty taste that dribbled into her mouth. "Almost there." He sounded more awestruck than terrified. This was more of herself than she wanted to show him, but it was what it was. She took a deep breath and pushed as hard as she could, and then collapsed backwards onto the cold hard floor as she heard the distinctive cry of a newborn baby.

It was the strangest moment of bright, headache inducing lighting, exhaustion, relief and... joy... She closed her eyes to relax after such a feat, that way she could greet her child more composed.

"It's a girl!" Nyx exclaimed. "I think..." he trailed off sounding doubtful.

"You think?" She laughed hoarsely as she looked down her body and could just make out the confusion in his eyes. "Haven't you ever seen a girl?"

"Well, yeah…" he said defensively, "I mean I'm looking at one right now. Maybe two. It's just hard to tell when they're this little. Like she doesn't have boobs." He said.

Ahsoka rolled her eyes, smiling to herself. How did she keep ending up around adorable idiots? She took a deep breath and sat up. "Remind me not to let you babysit." He was attractive sitting there, despite being covered in blood, fluid and sweat. His jet-black hair fell loosely in his face as he looked down at the child cradled in his arms. A smile played across his lips, there was admiration in his eyes. A pang hit her. She wished it was Anakin that was meeting their newborn for the first time. She shook it off. "Can you stop hogging her now? After what I've been through, I want to see if it was worth it." she teased.

"Oh right," he looked up like he'd completely forgotten she was in the room. He carefully handed her over, and Ahsoka looked down at the face of her baby for the first time. It was love at first sight. She rubbed her finger across her tiny hands and the girl gripped it tightly.

"Hello, Ashla," she whispered. She'd debated on the name for months, but the child's beautiful blue eyes looked back at her; her face as perfect and bright as a sunbeam and she just knew it was meant to be. Ashla meant ‘light.’ And that's exactly what she was. A light that came out of darkness, pain and goodbyes. Her features were Togrutan; her face narrow, high cheekbones, larger forehead, though not dramatic. But her skin was fair, and she had hints of hair. She had little white markings on her forehead and cheeks and a few stripes on her arms and legs but because her skin was light, they didn't stand out.

Ahsoka was relieved that she looked human. It would make her life easier. She'd be able to blend in and not attract attention. Ashla looked up at her gurgling and she watched her in wonder. She was the most precious thing she'd ever seen; the light at the end of the tunnel. As much as she wanted to show Anakin, it was better he didn’t know. She hoped that he'd not sensed her pain from the birth through the force. He was probably lightyears away with plenty of other things to occupy his mind.

---

“Anakin? Anakin!” Obi wan’s voice broke into his thoughts.

“Hmm?” Anakin blinked and refocused on the council around him, surprised to find them all looking at him.

“See something, did you?” Master Yoda asked him.

He shook his head. Even if he had, he wouldn’t tell them. It had just been a feeling. Pain… strong pain, but not the kind he felt around him on battlefields. It confused him because it had been mixed with… joy? It didn’t make any sense. Who feels happy when they’re in pain?

“Well can we get back to the meeting then?” Windu asked from across the room.

“Yes, sorry,” Anakin mumbled bowing his head. His mind wandered to Ahsoka. Did it have something to do with her? He couldn’t be sure anymore.

“Very good. Obi wan and Anakin will go to Utapau to investigate the death and report in…” Windu’s voice sounded far away.

---

“Not to ruin the moment, but I’m not sure a baby around my business is a good idea. It’s too dangerous.” Nyx brushed his dark hair out of his eyes and twiddled his thumbs, looking everywhere than at her.

Ahsoka had to bite her tongue so she didn’t tell him that she’d fought in countless dangerous situations with kids strapped to her. And that what he considered dangerous wasn’t even close to the things she’d seen in the last eighteen years. “Well you kind of did.” She tried to sound sassy like she used to with Anakin all the time, in order to hide the knot in her chest. “Are you seriously going to kick me out?”

“No, of course not!” he sighed. “It’s just…” he absentmindedly started wiping up the floor so he didn’t have to make eye contact with her. She watched him curiously.

“What?”

“I’m not real good around kids,” he said finally. “They don’t like me and I don’t like them and it’s just a bad combo.”

“Well just think of it as your roommate has a kid and you don’t have to worry about it. I’m not asking you to care for her or anything.” It must be all the hormones that was making her uptight. She suddenly wanted to be alone.

Nyx wasn’t a Jedi, but he seemed to notice the change in the room. He made a lame excuse about needing to fix a sprocket and disappeared, leaving her still sitting in the puddle on the bathroom floor.

She blew air through her nose out of frustration, willing herself not to cry. Jedi weren’t allowed to have kids or families. She wasn’t a Jedi anymore, but she had been one when her and Anakin had gone too far. She didn’t regret it. She loved him, even with an uncertain future, even having to raise the child alone… she still loved him. She’d always love him. Though being alone with a stranger and a new kid she had to raise by herself, wasn’t how she’d imagined the future when they’d slept together.

She ran her fingers down her daughter’s cheek, noticing how rough her fingers were compared to the baby’s skin. She pushed herself to her feet, exhaustion threatening to consume her. Her whole body ached. She turned the water on in the bathtub and let it fill while she cradled the baby in her lap trying to wrestle the tunic over her head one handed. Ashla fussed at the rocking motion and she spoke softly to soothe her. She gathered a few supplies from the cabinet and climbed into the tub.

She pulled her knees up so she could rest Ashla’s head on them above the waterline. She rubbed her gently, washing off the dried blood and bodily fluids. Cleaning her skin in little circular motions. Smiling to herself at the intimacy of the moment. Loving the beauty of this new light in front of her. She felt lost in her sound. She’d always had a fondness for children. She’d loved taking care of the younglings at the temple.

Her and Anakin’s first real mission together had been rescuing Jabba’s son. It was ironic that their relationship had started with a baby and ended with one. If she’d known that at the time, would she have changed anything? What a stupid question; of course not. The baby in front of her was something she could never regret. Even if it meant a daily reminder of the person she missed most. She silently thanked the force for the chance to experience motherhood. She’d never known how badly she’d wanted it until she had it.

She pulled the sterile knife out of the alcohol and carefully severed the umbilical cord between them. Tying the stub in a knot against her daughter’s skin and cleaning it off. She’d spent the last month researching baby care to make sure when it came, she could take care of it without needing to go to the hospital. Of course, half naked and crying on the bathroom floor with Nyx hadn’t been exactly how she’d imagined the moment.

Now that he was gone, she force pulled the little basket with a cushion into the room so she could put Ashla into it after drying her off and putting special lotion on her. Then she quickly cleaned herself up feeling like a real person again. She went about cleaning the bathroom up since the child had fallen asleep as soon as she’d put her down. She used the force to float it into the bedroom so it was a gentler motion and got dressed. She cleaned up her bedroom too.

Tired but feeling better, she sat on the edge of the bed watching her daughter breathe, occasionally twitching in her sleep. Her heart felt full. It came with a kind of peace and satisfaction that she’d never known before. She felt like she had a purpose again and she was going to hold onto it. She saw Ashla’s face screw up in a frown and then she started crying.

She picked her up. “Are you hungry?” she asked her as though she could answer. She sat on the bed with her back against the wall, opening her tunic. She marveled at every line and inch of her daughter’s skin as she suckled happily. “I’ll never let you go,” she whispered softly, rocking her gently in her arms while she nursed. She couldn’t remember the last time she felt this happy.

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SW Rey Theory - Legacy of Light - Chapter 7

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(End of Revenge of the Sith)

“General!” She heard Rex’s voice as he came closer. “We lost. I’m going to get you out of here!”

She reached up weakly to touch his face trailing a bloody handprint down his cheek. “No. Save yourself. That’s an order, commander,” she slurred. Her vision was blurry around the edges. Blaster fire and shells exploded all around them. She felt like her head would burst from all the noise.

“I don’t know what happened,” he said. “But what I do know, is that your daughter is going to need you now, more than ever. And I’m going to make sure you get back to her.” Her mind drifted to Ashla’s toothless smiles. She dropped her head back as he lifted her in the air. She clutched at her side where an obscene amount of pain was radiating from. Her head lolled onto his shoulder.

She felt helpless. It was all she could do to stay conscious as she felt him start running, carrying her with him. “There they go! Capture them! The Chancellor wants her alive!” She heard another clone trooper shout. She didn’t know who it was, her senses were as weak as the rest of her. All she remembered was yelling ‘now’, and instead of activating the ray shield to capture Maul, the clone troopers she’d been serving with had turned on her. Well, not all of them. Rex hadn’t. She’d blocked the first few shots, but they’d quickly overwhelmed her.

As she went down, she saw Rex shoot several of them. She couldn’t imagine what that must have been like for him. He loved his brothers. But now, for aiding her, he was the enemy too.

The battle had gotten bloody. She’d managed to get to her feet to defend him, but then a tank shell had sent her flying backwards away from the main fight. The Mandalorians had gotten involved, but rather than stopping Maul. They were fighting the clone troopers. She’d tried to get up, but she couldn’t move. Everything was bad. Was this an isolated event, or was this happening everywhere? Why had the clones turned on her?

Was Anakin okay?

Rex carried her into the forest, the way they’d trekked the night before. They seemed to have lost their pursuers for now. He set her down on the stump, pulling out his medpac and treating her wounds. He stuck a stim in her arm and forced her to swallow two little blue pills.

It wasn’t long before she felt her strength returning. She blinked a few times to clear the fuzziness in her eyes. She felt the vibration of boots on the ground. She knew they were closing in.

“Wait here,” Rex said, disappearing behind her. She crossed her legs in front of her and started meditating.

They were getting closer. She felt a shift in the force and then a surprising sense of calm.

“There she is! Set your weapons to stun. We’re to bring her in.” She didn’t move as she felt them surround her.

And then all at once, there was chaos. She leapt to her feet, blocking several shots and flipping away from the troopers. She danced around them as they avoided being stepped on by the giant wolves that were getting in their way. She spun around the leg of one, jumping to catch its fur and scaled its back. Once she had a grip, the wolf took off running away from the capital city. Its paws were thunderous on the ground, but it made it a day’s worth of distance in a short amount of time. She glanced to her left to see Rex was on another one, hanging on for dear life.

---

They waited two days before returning to the city. In the meantime, Mandalore had burned. She felt her heart ache at the destruction knowing that they were part of it. She’d come here hoping to help the people, but only ended up making it worse.

“Go get your daughter and get somewhere safe,” Rex said as they dug the fake grave meant to throw the troopers off their trail.

Ahsoka wiped her brow and looked at him. “She’s safer without me. If what you say is true about the chips. I’ll be hunted for a long time. It’s better she grows up with someone who isn’t a Jedi.” She threw her lightsabers into the top part of the grave.

Rex stopped shoveling and turned to her. He leaned one arm on the tool, and he looked her up and down. “I’m sorry, Ahsoka.” She knew he understood what this cost her. They’d had a long chat about family and she’d told him all about Ashla.

“Promise me something, would you?” she murmured, a tear rolling down her cheek as she tried to remind herself it was for the best.

“Anything,” he said without hesitation.

“If you ever find my daughter, will you make sure she’s alright?” Ahsoka said with a strangled sob. Rex dropped the shovel and pulled her into his arms, letting her cry.

“Of course,” he whispered.

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swfanficbyjz · 6 years

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SW Rey Theory - Legacy of Light - Chapter 9

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(10-14 years after Revenge of the Sith)

"Uncle Nyx!" Ashla shouted from the rear gun.

"I know, I know!" he yelled back, swerving to avoid getting hit by the three tie fighters behind them. "Shoot back, girl! What are you waiting for?"

"A clear shot!" she muttered under her breath knowing he wouldn't hear her. She should be flying and he should be the one in the gunner seat. But he still didn't trust her yet. Not in situations like this anyways. After he drank to the point of passing out, she was allowed to fly them from drop to drop, but if they met resistance anywhere, he always took over.

Flying had come naturally to her, even he'd been surprised, though he pretended it was due to his training. But her mom had told her something else entirely, which was also the reason she was so much better at it than him. Supposedly she had 'Jedi reflexes'. Though her mom hadn't been too keen on explaining what that meant.

She'd asked her uncle what a Jedi was and after ranting for a few minutes nearly incomprehensibly, all she'd really learned was Jedi were 'a pain in the neck' and according to her uncle, 'a myth'. But then why would her mom have brought it up? Her mom told good stories, but never lies. If she had these mythical Jedi reflexes, it meant more than her uncle was willing to explain. But Nyx had told her not to talk about Jedi, nor to ask anyone else about them. He said they were dangerous, even though that directly contradicted his statement that they weren't real.

One of the ties hit the hull of the ship and the whole thing shuddered violently in response. This was at least the third ship her and her uncle had since leaving Coruscant about ten years ago. She blamed it on his careless flying and begged him constantly to let her fly. He'd finally given in to teaching her, but never let her do it when it mattered. Thankfully though, these weren't Empire ties; just the mining guild protecting their profits. That meant that if they got far enough away, they'd stop chasing them.

She fired a spread of lasers but only managed to hit one of them, the other two swooped around for another pass. But came at them at an angle she couldn't hit them. "Come around!" she yelled up to him. "They're flanking our port side."

"The steering keeps freezing up, I can't turn!" he yelled back.

"Kriff!" she swore under her breath, abandoning her station and racing to the maintenance hatch. She pulled open the door and waved the smoke out of her face, covering her nose and mouth as she slid down the ladder. Inching her way along in the cramped space until she finally found the control panel. She yelped, it was hot to the touch. She pulled up the bottom of her tunic and used it to protect her hands as she pried it open. Gritting her teeth to the pain, she hotwired the overheated fuses.

"Got it!" he shouted, spinning the ship off to the side. The whole underbelly of the ship groaned in response. This junk heap wasn't designed for this kind of stress. She scooted back out of the tunnel and climbed the ladder, but was thrown off her feet as the ship was hit again. "Shields are down. We're losing speed!"

She pulled herself up and stumbled forward to the cockpit. "Not good," she said quietly as she looked out the viewport. "Divert power from the life support to the engines and aim for that moon!" She tried to get to the panel on the copilot's side.

"We need the life support," he replied in annoyance.

"Not if they blow us to pieces. We're going down anyways, let's at least crash into something!" She smirked in response. She was thirteen, and she'd already been in three crashes. It was a wonder she'd lived this long. Four, actually, if you counted the one they were about to be in. Stranded on a mining guild world wasn't ideal, of course. But there were plenty of other smugglers out there, someone would be along eventually. As long as they lived long enough to be there when they did.

She sat down and strapped herself in, bracing for impact. The ship bucked hard when they hit the atmosphere and she yanked back the controller to level them out. "Hey now!" he exclaimed as she took over control of the ship.

"Do you want to survive this crash or not?" she snapped in response.

He muttered something and buckled himself in. He'd never admit it, but he valued his life too much to argue with her. She sunk into the force, letting instinct take over as she fought with the ship to take it down as gently as possible. He hated when she did this, but couldn’t argue with the results. Somewhere along the way, they'd lost the ties. But now, they had another disaster.

"Gardulla is not going to be pleased we lost her shipment," Nyx said aloud, as the ship clipped a few trees as it barreled to the ground.

"Yeah well, maybe we'll be able to salvage enough of it we can still make some profit," she replied trying to refocus on the task at hand.

“We’d better, we’re about to need a new ship. She jerked the controller at the last minute, tipping the ship so one wing caught the ground. The sound of scraping metal was deafening in the small space. It bounced and crumpled against the hard landscape. It slowed some, but wasn't slowing down fast enough. Her eyes widened as the drop off ahead came into view. "Hold on!" she ordered, pushing the controller down so the ship nosed into the ground to slow it down faster. It flipped and spun, finally coming to rest mere inches from the cliff edge. The valley telescoped below them even more dramatically as they stared at it upside down.

"Well... that was close," Nyx muttered sounding more shaken than he'd ever admit.

"Yeah," she said, finally releasing the steering and trying to massage out her tight knuckles. "Too close."

"But at least the mining guild isn't shooting at us anymore," he commented.

"For now," she unbuckled her seatbelt and dropped awkwardly to what was the top of the ship. "We'd better go see what we can salvage." She headed for the cockpit door, but the power flickered and went out.

"Oh great," her uncle said, landing hard with a thud behind her. "Ouch."

She turned back to see him stumbling forward blindly in the minimal light from outside. She could feel her way through the ship, even if she couldn't see. But now she'd have to guide him through it too. She wondered briefly how he'd survive without her.

"You know," he said, crashing into her. "Back in the day, I used to walk away from crashes all the time."

"You say that like I'm supposed to be impressed." She rolled her eyes, but smiled anyways.

"You should be. I walked away from all of them without a scratch. There was a rumor going around that I was indestructible."

"I find that hard to believe," she laughed, grabbing his arm and guiding him towards the door. "Help me get this open."

---

By day three, her uncle was in a pretty volatile mood. They'd not been able to salvage much from the ship, the damage caused by the ties had destroyed most of their cargo. She'd elected not to tell her mother about the crash, she had enough to worry about. But she had found her old bag of baby stuff she'd been holding onto for years. There wasn't much left. A tattered doll and some expired creams. Nyx kept telling her to leave it behind, but he didn't understand what it meant to her. It wasn't much, but it was something that belonged to her mother. Something physical she could hold.

The doll was beyond repair at this point, she could only assume because it had been played with a lot or because it had been through so many crashes. It was in such bad shape now, you couldn't even tell what it was supposed to be anymore. She had such fond memories of it though, she couldn't let it go. It had once been a human male as far as she could tell. And she used to dream about it like it was a living person. She talked to him all the time. She'd never told her mother that, her uncle had believed he was just her imaginary friend. He didn't really listen to the things she'd experienced, but even if it was just a child's fantasy, he'd been an important part of her life. She often wondered if it had anything to do with her father. But her mom wouldn't talk about him. So, she'd just accepted it was yet another thing she might never know.

It often felt like she had a secret world inside her head. One that her uncle didn't want to know about, and one her mother, if she was really talking to her, was the key that refused to unlock the information she so desperately wanted about who she really was. But life with her uncle Nyx was chaotic, and she didn't have a lot of time to dwell too much on these dreams.

One night she'd been fiddling with the bag as she sometimes did, because holding it brought some semblance of peace to her busy life. She’d felt a poke through the bag. Upon investigation she'd found a small gold necklace. It was nothing more than a delicate diamond shape hooked to a simple gold chain. She'd put it right on, certain it must have belonged to her mother. She couldn't wait to show her. But Ahsoka had just touched it softly, tears welling in her eyes, and she'd lost the nerve to ask her about it. Clearly it had meant something to her, but was wrapped in sad memories, or bad memories. Which could be one and the same, just like it had been wrapped in a small swath of leather in the hidden pocket in the bag.

There were so many things she wished she could ask her mother about, but though they spoke every night, their time together was limited. Her mom was very busy wherever she was, and Ashla still struggled with mastering the force enough to keep the connection longer. She rarely got much time to practice during the day, so most of the time she got with her mom was training. Which was another thing she had to keep to herself. Any mention of the force around her uncle set him off in an hour-long lecture at the dangers of using the ancient religion that the Empire despised. Which usually ended in a very detailed anecdote of what would happen if they ever caught her doing it. Her mom encouraged her to use it, but cautioned her as well.

She'd mostly learned to control the unexpected things, mastering how to move stuff and feel her way around. She loved the way it made her feel, opening up to the energy of the universe. It made her feel powerful, something she certainly didn't feel on a daily basis. But she'd been given strict guidelines on when and where she could use it. Cautioned to not let anyone in the Empire, or anybody else, see her do it. She didn't fully understand the threat, but she trusted her mother enough to listen to her warnings.

Her favorite thing though, was to see what her mother could do. She always watched her in awe when she used the force. The special bond they had, was something she held onto very tightly. She looked for others everywhere they went that might be able to use the force, but she never found any that she knew of. They were probably cautioned not to advertise it either.

"Uncle Nyx!" She shook him awake.

"What is it?" he grumbled rubbing his eyes.

"I heard a ship!"

He looked up at the sky, listening too. "I don't hear anything."

"Trust me!" she scrambled to her feet. "It's not a tie fighter.

"I can't even hear it, and yet you can recognize what type of ship it is?" He pulled himself to his feet.

"Well I don't know what it is exactly, but I know what it isn't. Come on! It went this way." She picked up her baby bag, threw it over her shoulder and started running in the direction of the sound she'd heard. Nyx wasn't far behind her, but he kept grumbling about something.

They came to the edge of a clearing and ducked behind a couple rocks. She'd been right, there was a ship, and it definitely wasn't a tie fighter. They watched for awhile but no one returned to it. She didn't hear anyone nearby either. Whoever it belonged to, she was certain it wasn't part of the mining guild or the Empire. She started moving closer to it, listening for anyone nearby. When she got a few paces away, she couldn't help but admire it. It wasn't in the best shape, a little old, but whoever owned it clearly loved it. She moved around underneath admiring the way it went together. Any kind of machine fascinated her and she too easily got lost in wanting to know how they worked.

"Step away from my ship," came a voice behind her. She spun around to see a young man pointing a blaster at her. Her uncle had pulled one pointing at him, and not far away was a tall, hairy beast pointing a wicked looking crossbow at Nyx. She'd been so absorbed in the ship she'd forgotten to keep listening for the owners. "Who are you?" he demanded.

"No one important," she put her hands up. "Our ship crashed a few days ago, we just need a ride off this planet." No one dropped their weapons.

"Well I'm Han Solo and this is Chewbacca, and the Millennium Falcon does not smuggle people," the man said. "So sorry kid, you'll have to find another ride."

"The Millennium Falcon? The ship that can do the Kessel run in...?"

"Twelve parsecs. Yes," he interrupted her. "We're late delivering this spice, now move away from my ship."

"Look Captain Solo, we're not here to steal your bounty, we just need a ride. Maybe we can help you!" She tried to gesture to her uncle to drop his weapon, but he was glaring at Han.

"What do you two have to offer?"

"I'm a good mechanic! Your ship, it’s in good shape, but I can upgrade it. My uncle is a good smuggler, we can help you deliver drops. Please!"

"Look kid, as tempting as that sounds. I don't pick up passengers. Too dangerous nowadays.”

"Huuguughghg raaaaaahhgh huurh uughghhhgh," the hairy humanoid he'd introduced as Chewbacca, roared suddenly.

"What did he say?" Ashla asked curiously.

"He says you smell funny," Han finally dropped his blaster.

"Well..." she shifted nervously trying to hide a smile. "I haven't had a chance to shower for a few days, but is that a deal breaker?"

"I travel with a Wookiee, you think I care how you smell?" he picked up a crate and started to push it towards the ship. "Sorry!" he said as Chewbacca growled something at him and waved his crossbow in the air. "You're in luck kid, he likes you. Now grab a crate and make yourself useful."

---

“Chewie! Get to the gun!” Captain Solo yelled as they got in the air. The mining guild ties were back, in greater numbers this time. Oh wonderful. They’d barely gotten off the planet and were going to get shot down again. This was definitely not their week.

She watched the Wookiee rush past her towards the middle of the ship, and half thought about following him, but decided she’d just get in the way. “I thought you said this ship was fast?” she exclaimed, gripping the back of the pilot seat so she didn’t get thrown to the side.

“Fastest ship there is!” he yelled back.

“Except for the ties behind us!” she muttered, rolling her eyes and stumbling towards the panel behind the copilot seat. She reached into the force, feeling for something she could upgrade, some way to help the ship move faster. Her eyes moved across the blinking buttons and controls and she reached towards it.

“Get your hands off my ship!” he snapped.

“I told you, I’m a mechanic, I can fix it,” she replied, still following the lines of wires and seeing how it all came together.

“Does it look broken to you?” he rolled the ship to the side to avoid getting hit and she fell backwards.

“I can upgrade things too! Weren’t you listening?” she complained and got back to her feet. She could see it now, she knew just what to do.

“Chewie, you better hit those ties or we’re never going to be able to jump,” he called out to his Wookiee friend. She half heard him roar back in response, zoning out as she moved her fingers across the panel. The ship lurched as it picked up speed. “What did you do?” he asked in surprise as they lurched forward; the ties fell behind. “How did you do that?” he stared at her after jumping the ship into hyperspace.

“It’s hard to explain, I just know what I need to do. I can see how machines come together in my brain and where to act,” she answered without thinking and then flinched. She wasn’t supposed to tell people that.

Han Solo glared at her for a moment and then turned on her uncle sitting in the co-pilot seat. “Is she a Jedi?” he demanded.

“No,” Nyx answered without looking up at him.

“Just what I need, a Jedi on board. As if smuggling wasn’t bad enough now with the Empire cracking down on everything!” Han exclaimed in annoyance. “I swear if she is one, I’m dropping you both off at the nearest spaceport!”

“I told you,” Nyx turned on him angrily. “She’s nobody special!” She dropped her chin and stared at her feet as captain Solo and her uncle continued to argue. Yeah, nobody special. She didn’t even know what a Jedi was and yet Han recognized she could be one and Nyx adamantly denied it. Everyone seemed to have forgotten that she’d just saved their lives, but apparently the possibility of her being this mythical Jedi was the only thing they were yelling at each other about.

Unable to stand their squabbling, she left the cockpit and made her way to the cabin. She started picking things up and cleaning as a way to occupy her brain. But questions about who she really was were seeping through and flooding her brain. Tears welled in her eyes and she quickly wiped them away when she saw Chewbacca enter the galley.

"Aarrragghuuhw wuuh huurh uugggh aaaaahnr aaaaahnr?" the Wookie asked her.

"I'm sorry," Ashla said sadly, "I don't understand." He reached forward and pointed to the gold choker she was wearing. "My necklace? Oh, it was my mother's. I found it in my baby stuff."

"Raaaaaahhgh aarrragghuuhw uughguughhhghghghhhgh huuguughghg hnnnhrrhhh," he growled sadly in response.

She tipped her head to the side, studying him. "Did you know my mother?" he nodded emphatically, eyes widening as he tried to explain how. But try as she might, she couldn't make sense of what he was saying. Even in all her traveling with her uncle Nyx, she'd never met a Wookiee before. She'd only ever heard stories of them. He was big and furry, and intimidating, but she wasn't scared of him. Well maybe she'd been a little scared of him when he'd pointed that giant crossbow at them, but now she was sure he was just a softie. She shook her head when he finished his story. "I wish I could understand you."

He took her hands in his and looked her in the eye as though he was searching her soul. And then she remembered she could use the force. She blinked and then looked back at him, reaching out her senses. If Chewbacca knew her mother, then he must have known what she could do. "You didn't say I smelled funny, did you?" She asked with a smirk. He shook his head. "You said I smelled familiar." He nodded. "Wookiees have an amazing sense of smell." He nodded again. "You can smell someone's child?" she asked.

He shook his head, "Aarrragghuuhw huuguughghg wrrhwrwwhw huuguughghg raaaaaahhgh uughghhhgh." He pointed to the necklace again.

"You recognized the necklace," she started. "But you also smelled her on me?" He nodded. "So if I had a kid, would you be able to smell me on them if I wasn't around?"

"Huuguughghg uuh uggguh awwgggghhh."

"That's amazing!" she said excitedly. "You must have an excellent memory."

"Wuuh!" he roared and she laughed. Then she closed her eyes and reached her hand out, feeling for him in the force.

She saw a younger version of her mother sitting next to him by a fire. She looked tired, she was covered in dirt and grime. There were two others there too, and fear. Lots of fear. They'd all been fighting for their lives. "Ashla!" Nyx called, she opened her eyes in surprise. Chewie was looking at her curiously. She smiled at him and then turned to see what her uncle wanted. She'd have to ask her mother about it later. Even though she didn't understand everything he said, she got the distinct impression he clearly admired her mother and never forgot what she'd done for him.

She'd once heard a story about how some races, like the Wookiees and Gungans, believed in life-debts. If someone saved their life, they'd forever owe them. Often following them around and serving them in whatever way they could. She wondered if that was how he'd ended up with Han. But even though he talked a lot of smack, she could see his clear affection for Chewbacca. They were good friends; however they'd ended up together. Wookiees were strong too, and good fighters and hunters. Not a bad ally to have in the smuggling business. Especially now with the Empire cracking down on everything.

---

"Do you speak Wookiee?" Was the first question out of her daughter's mouth this evening.

"Yes, I do. Why?" she asked her.

"Because I met one today. I couldn't understand everything he was saying but he told me he knew you. He recognized your necklace."

Ahsoka looked at her daughter in surprise. Wookiees were hard to find nowadays, they'd been one of the first species the Empire had attempted to eradicate. But according to her daughter, one of them lived still and it was one that knew her. Could it be?

Their bond was getting stronger as the years passed. Now there were times it felt like she was physically in the places where her daughter was. Like right now, they were on a ship though she didn’t recognize what kind. It was so real though, she could feel the metal against her hands, the rumble as it moved. The smells and sounds.

They both stood as the door opened into her daughter's cabin, she didn’t bother hiding herself, no one else should be able to see her. Because no matter how real it felt, she wasn’t really there.

Ahsoka barely registered what was happening before she was pulled into a very hairy hug. "Oof," she got a mouthful of fur. He could see her? She thought only her daughter could. Or possibly other force users. "Hello Chewbacca," she said when she was finally released. "It is good to see you alive."

"Huurh huurh uughguughhhghghghhhgh wuuh?" he growled the question, gesturing to her daughter.

She smiled up at him. "Yes, Chewie. Please take care of her." He grabbed Ashla around the shoulders and ruffled her hair.

"Whoa," her daughter exclaimed.

"How bad is it for you out there?" she asked him. He released Ashla and went about telling several stories. She listened to him sadly. She noticed her daughter looking between them wondering what he was saying. She took her hand and squeezed it. "That's awful. I'm so sorry. Don't worry, Chewie, if I hear about any, I'll do what I can to free them."

Chewbacca growled in appreciation. And then he nodded to both of them and left the room. "What was that about?" Ashla asked. Ahsoka stared at the door where he'd exited, still a little in shock that he'd been able to see her and touch her too. She'd known Wookiees had strong senses, but she didn't know they could use the force. Well, that wasn't true, some of them could, just like most other species. But she hadn't realized that they all had a sense for it to some degree. Either that, or she really was here. "How do you two know each other anyways?"

Ahsoka looked down at her daughter by her side. "You've heard of Trandoshans, I presume?" Ashla nodded. "Trandsohans believe that hunting earns them points, which gains them better standing with their goddess; the Scorekeeper. Not all of them believe in hunting honorable targets and find ways to cheat the system. I was captured by a band of them while on a mission back when I was a padawan. This group would kidnap children and hunt them for sport. Their favorite prey was Jedi younglings, because we gave them more of a challenge. Chewie was caught and made a prisoner too. So, he helped us overthrow the hunters. And then the Wookiees gave us a ride home to Coruscant."

"He said you saved him. At least I'm pretty sure that's what he said," Ashla commented.

"I guess," Ahsoka said thoughtfully. "I wasn't trying to be a hero, I just wasn't willing to spend the rest of my life running. I convinced the others to fight back." She felt a pang as she remembered Anakin's shame and helplessness when they returned. He'd been so distraught, and angry at himself that he hadn't been there or hadn't been able to find her. It was true, she hadn't accepted being someone else's prey, but more than that, she'd wanted to go home... to him. She still did, but he wasn't looking for her this time. He wasn't even out there to go home too.

"I want to fight back too!" Ashla said suddenly. And Ahsoka put both her hands on her shoulders.

"This is different, Ashla. The Empire isn't a rogue band of hunters that like to chase prey. They're strong, and they have numbers and enough resources to squash any resistance. I admire your fire, love. But this isn't your fight. All I want for you is to survive. Okay?"

She dropped her head and shuffled her feet. "Okay, mom."

"Look at me," she whispered, and ran her hand down the side of her daughter's face. "Be a good person, help anyone you can, but be careful. I was raised to fight, Ashla. You were not. I want you to live your life, I don't want you fighting a war. Stay away from the Empire, please."

“I am a Jedi, aren’t I?” Ashla asked finally.

“No,” she said. “Jedi is a term for force users that live their life according to a certain doctrine and code of ethics. It’s a religion, in a way. If the Jedi order still existed, you’d have the potential to become one. But it doesn’t. The Jedi are gone.”

“The Empire wiped them out, didn’t they?”

“Yes,” Ahsoka gritted her teeth. She may not have left on good terms with them, but the loss of the order had still taken its toll on her.

“Were they bad? Why does everyone hate them?” her daughter asked looking up at her.

“Because they stood in the way of the Emperor’s designs for the galaxy. We were protectors, peacekeepers. We served the Republic before it fell, fighting in the Clone Wars as generals and commanders. But force users aren’t all good and there are many different philosophies about how you can use your talents or the force. The Sith was another of these,” Ahsoka sighed. “The Jedi and Sith were ancient enemies, often warring over what part of the force they believed should win. The Sith wanted the dark side to win, they were evil and selfish. The Jedi wanted the light side to win, believing in goodness and balance. Well, when we were at our most vulnerable, spread thin throughout the galaxy fighting on all fronts, the Sith made a final move and wiped most of us out. There are very few left. The Empire, run by the Sith, still fear the survivors and hunt for them everywhere. Everyone that shows Jedi potential or talent is a threat to them. It doesn’t even matter to them if you ever were a Jedi, if you can use the force, you’re a threat. That’s why I tell you, don’t deny that part of yourself, but protect it. If your powers are discovered, you will be hunted forever. And I don’t want you to live your life on the run,” Ahsoka finished passionately.

“That’s why you can’t be here, isn’t it?” She saw the tears well up in her daughter’s eyes.

“I am here. We’re connected through the force and we always will be. But yes, that’s why I can’t physically be there. The Empire knows I survived the purge. Being with me only puts you in danger, and I can’t do that. I won’t do that. So please, Ashla, let me protect you. Listen to me, trust me. Chewie will watch out for you as long as you’re with him. And so will your uncle.”

“He doesn’t like Jedi.”

“I know. I never told him I was one for that reason.”

“He said I was nobody special.” She dropped her chin.

“He’s wrong. You are the most special person in the galaxy. If he said that, it was only to protect you; to hide your true identity. Let those things roll off your shoulders. He’s scared for you. And when people are scared, they’re not always so tactful,” Ahsoka said, tipping her head back and kissing her on the forehead. “Stay strong, love. We’ll get through this.”

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