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comingoutofthecauldron · 4 years

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let’s talk about lesbophobia in fandom

i don’t like to use the word “lesbophobia” unironically because of all the gross radfem terfy connotations, so i will clarify right off the bat that i am neither a terf nor an aphobe and that if you are i want you off my blog like, right now. unfortunately, the meaning of lesbophobia has been so warped by alt right lesbians that seeing it in an unironic context makes me, a lesbian, uncomfortable, which speaks volumes in itself. so to clarify, lesbophobia is essentially homophobia with a pinch of sexism thrown into the mix, and it’s running rampant in supposed safe spaces and, more relevantly, fandom.

/i’d also like to clarify that i’m not only speaking on lesbophobia, but also the general disgust and disdain for all wlw in fandom, and am using it as a sort of umbrella term/

lesbophobia and disdain for wlw has been around forever, but whilst gay positivity, mlm and mlm ships have been steadily increasing in popularity within fandom over time, wlw and wlw ships have remained perpetual underdogs. why? because lesbophobia has become a fandom within itself. both in and outside of fandom, we see instances of casual lesbophobia every single day—from aggression towards wlw to something as simple and prevalent as the complete and utter lack of sapphic ships and characters in media. hatred of lesbians and wlw is practically a trend, and it’s seeping in through the cracks of fandoms who are already facing issues with minorities and marginalized groups (i.e. racism, ableism). if you honestly think that lesbophobia isn’t prevalent as hell in fandom right now, you’re either not a wlw, you’re not all that involved in fandom, or you’re dumb as shit.

just look at ships. in almost every single fandom, the ratio of mlm ships to sapphic ships is ridiculously unbalanced. people are quick to ship male characters who so much as smile at each other (and i don’t condemn that) but would never do the same for two women—even on the rare occasion that the ship is actually canon. i once wrote a wlw fanfic for a [predominantly straight] fandom, and received messages like this gem:

on the flip side of that, if there is a sapphic ship in canon or fanon, it is often fetishized and sexualised to a disturbing degree. there will be double the amount of nsfw art and fics, and ninety percent of it will be derogatory and fetishized as hell. having been actively involved in several fandoms over the past few years (and currently a content creator in one), i’ve seen instances of all this hundreds of times. people go crazy for mlm ships, but the second you say you ship/prefer a wlw ship, there’s always someone at the ready with, “i think all ships are great!” or “it’s not a contest” or “i prefer [insert m/m or m/f ship] actually” or “they’re my brotp!/why can’t you just let them be friends?”. not only do lesbians and wlw not get to have any rep in media, any rep that they try to create for themselves in fandom just gets attacked or ruined. this is so detrimental not only to all wlw, but especially to younger wlw who will end up being indoctrinated into this belief that their sexuality is something dirty, something that can never be tender and sweet but rather something that deserves to be preyed upon.

building on that, let’s talk about engagement. i run an instagram account (where i have a significantly bigger following) as well as this blog for my fandom, where i post the content i create (mainly text posts). when i first started creating content, i made a lot for a relatively unpopular wlw ship, in which both girls are canonically romantically involved with a dude—though one of them is canonically pan. their canonical m/f ships are both very popular, and i noticed that my engagement was dropping every time i posted them, so i eventually just stopped. it wasn’t even a conscious decision; i merely resigned myself to the fact that the fandom didn’t want to see sapphic ships, and some people would even go as far as to condemn them. for reference, my instagram posts get an average of about 500 likes per post (popular ones usually exceeding 1k), but when i post this ship, my engagement drops to about 250 likes. similarly, my tumblr text posts have an average of about 140 notes per post (popular ones usually reaching up to 750), but my wlw content rarely surpasses 100. this just feeds the cycle of wlw never getting rep: if, like me, content creators become disincentivised by the lack of engagement with their sapphic content, they’re more likely to stop making/posting it, leading to further lack of rep—and when new content creators try to rectify that, they face the same problems.

and then, of course, there’s the treatment of actual wlw in fandom. my best example of this is when my friend and i made an anti account on instagram (the first instagram anti account in that fandom), our bio saying something like “salty and bitter lesbians being salty and bitter”, and received an onslaught of lesbophobic insults and threats from angry stans within hours. (tw: r*pe) one commenter even went as far as to tell us that they wanted us to get r*ped. as well as this, i’ve seen so many instances of people using slurs against lesbians in arguments/in anons, often for no apparent reason other than they feel that they have the right. when i first mentioned i was a lesbian on instagram, my account only had about 200 followers, and within a day i lost 20. i also lose followers whenever i post f/f ships, not quite to that extent but enough for it to be noticeable, on top of the aforementioned engagement dips. in the face of all this adversity, i think a lot of wlw turn to mlm ships because they’re the closest thing we have to actual rep, but when we do we get accused of fetishizing them by the same people who fetishize us. there’s an endless list of double standards that non-wlw have been upholding for years, and i can firmly say that i’m really fucking sick of it. because of our sexuality, we will never be allowed to enjoy something without someone labelling it or us as dirty or otherwise problematic, when to them, the only problematic thing about us is that we aren’t pleasing men.

as i mentioned before, the lack of rep for wlw in media is appallingly consistent, and part of that stems from tokenism. in a lot of modern mainstream media, you’ll have one, maybe two lgbt characters, and nine times out of ten those characters are white cis male gays. of course, there are exceptions to this, but generally, that’s it. script writers and authors (especially cishets) seem to have this mentality of, “oh, well, we gave them one, that’s sure to be enough!”, which means that on the off chance you do get your gay rep, the likelihood of also receiving wlw or any other kind of rep becomes practically non-existant. this belief that all marginalized groups are the same and that one represents all is what leads to misrepresentation on top of lack of rep, which is what makes tokenism so dangerous. if you treat your only gay character badly, you are essentially treating every single gay person badly in that universe. so not only is lesbophobia and disdain for wlw harmful to sapphic women via their exclusion in media, it’s also harming those minorities who do get rep. when people try to defend lesbophobic source material, that’s when fandom starts to get toxic. the need for critical thinking has never been more apparent and it has also never been less appeased—and wlw are getting hit hard by it, as always.

finally, a pretty big driving factor of lesbophobia is, ironically, lesbians. my lesbian friends and i often joke that though everyone seems to hate us, no one hates lesbians more than lesbians do. though i’d say it’s most prevalent on tumblr, i see traces of it all over the internet. the growth of alt right lesbian movements is not only reinforcing hatred for lesbians, but also reinforcing hatred for bi and pan women. here you have these terrible lesbians using their platforms to express their disgust for bi/pan women, for aces and aros, for trans women/nb lesbians, and people see them and say, “gosh, lesbians are just awful.” and just like that, all of us are evil. occasionally, lesbian blogs that i follow get put on terf blocklists for no other reason than the fact that they have “lesbian” in their bio. and the lesbians that actually deserve to be on those blocklists? they’re too busy spewing misinformation about trans women and bi women to care, boosted up by their alt right friends in an ever-expanding movement. i’ve found that this heavily influences fandom on tumblr, lesbians often getting branded as “biphobic” when they hc a female character as a lesbian rather than bi or pan. this criticism of both lesbians and wlw by lesbians and non-wlw alike only ever allows lesbophobia to grow, both in and out of fandom. that said, lesbians aren’t to blame for their own discrimination; rather, many of us have been conditioned into subconsciously endorsing it after spending our entire lives hearing heterosexual platitudes about lesbians and sapphic relationships. homophobic cishets are and always have been the nexus of this oppression—the only difference is that now they can hide behind alt right lesbians.

one thing has been made apparent to me throughout my time in fandom, and that thing is that no one likes to see men “underrepresented”. people hate sapphic ships and lesbians so much because there is no room for men, and men Do Not Like That. so, like the worms that they are, they slither their way in, be it through fetishization or condemnation of wlw characters and ships, and they ruin whatever good things we have going for us. the thing about worms, though, is that they’re easy enough to crush if you’re wearing the right shoes.

so to all my bi/pan gals and lesbian pals: put on your doc martens, because we’ve got ourselves some lesbophobes to stomp on.

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swearwolf-writes · 3 years

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Teen Wolf 2020

it’s 2020 and corona is a bitch :) the wolves might not be able to get sick but they still wear their masks bcs they could still be carriers so *clears throat* WEAR YOUR MASKS Y’ALL!! this is very much a no one dies/everybody lives au :)

[CROSSPOSTED ON: AO3]

Scott McCall - age 26

this cute nerd. he studied veterinary medicine which takes about 4 years so he graduated in 2017 and works as Deaton’s partner at the Beacon Hills Animal Clinic. he’s dating Isaac (bcs he came back from France with Argent, remember) and Kira (she came back from the Skinwalkers in 2019 and has a proper grasp on her powers). sorry scalia shippers but it’s not really my thing-

Stiles Stilinski - age 26

NERD. anywho- FBI dork became an agent in 2019 whoo and lives in DC with Lydia, Derek and Braeden. he’s dating Lydia and Derek and things are pretty chill - he yells at arseholes who refuse to wear their masks bcs ‘it’s uncomfortable :(’ like bite me karen no one cares

Derek Hale - age 32

grumpy sourwolf actually knows how to smile!! who knew- he lives in DC with Stiles, Lydia and Braeden most of the time but he and Braeden travel often to fight butthead hunters who need to mind their own business. he’s dating Stiles and he and Braeden are engaged - it’s cute and they’re being dorks about it. he likes to complain that they’d be married by now if it wasn’t for freakin covid

Lydia Martin - age 26

your local genius banshee~ 🥰 still awesome, still a harbinger of death - so yk, the usual. bcs she had extra credits she started as a junior studying maths and graduates in 2016!! 🎉🎉 she moved to DC after she got some money together while working as a tutor - the quartet splits rent (but usually it’s just Stiles and Lydia splitting it bcs the other two don’t technically have jobs and yk Derek is an unsub and Stiles is in the FBI which Lydia finds hilarious). she teaches adults in the local community college and helps supernatural folk on the dl - she runs a grief counselling service at the same place for people who’ve lost someone. she’s also trying to get a degree to become a high school maths teacher and it’s a lot but she’s got it handled.

Allison Argent - 24

accidentally brought back from the dead by the Dread Doctors. everyone could not stop crying bcs she’s back baby!! she died in 2011 age 17 and came back in 2012 so she wasn’t dead long thankfully - wanted to kill Theo bcs he messed with her pack even he did bring her back. she’s a chimera now lads- she needed a kidney transplant when she was young which was why she was kept away from the family business. she was a werewolf-werejaguar chimera like Hayden but stayed a chimera. Chris and Isaac stayed home and bcs she and Isaac never actually broke up, they kept dating - she found it funny that Isaac and Scott were dating at this point,, meanwhile they were panicking wildly :) she went back to school and said she wasn’t dead, just in the hospital for a really long time. she joined Liam’s year and again, wanted to very badly throw hands when she found out about Monroe- she’s the coolest, like she has claws and bow and arrows

Malia Tate - 26

our girl went to France as promised and hooked up with plenty of hot French people *le eyebrow wiggle* she found her beau there in France and it was not a love at first sight sort of thing - she wanted to punch them in the face,, in their very pretty face- she was basically doing her own thing when she smells them, another bloody werewolf and like don’t get me wrong, she’s fond of werewolves, but bloody hell do they cause trouble. and they smell her too and it’s like ‘eh-?’ bcs werecoyotes aren’t so common as werewolves. and they’re just there in a club in Bordeaux and they’re sniffed each other out and they kinda just pause like huh- bcs they were were not expecting to see someone that pretty- but that’s not the point of course- they pretend to leave together and as soon as they’re out of sight from humans, they start fighting in an alley, as you do. it ends up with the wolf tasting the wall bcs who the hell are you- once they figure out they’re both just there to party, things chill and they see more of each other, naturally, it’s all just a big coincidence and doesn’t mean anything. and then they’re dancing and it doesn’t mean anything. and then they’re sleeping together and it doesn’t mean anything. except it does. and they don’t know when it became normal to cuddle or wake up together or have breakfast together but it just was. and when the cute werewolf (who I still don’t have a name for-) plans on moving to the next place, she comes with. the pack are happy for her and they usually road trip from place to place so when the pack comes to visit in Prague? it’s fun to say the least

Kira Yukimura - age 25

she came back from the Skinwalkers in 2019 and she and Allison became good friends. she kept going with school from home and is dating Scott. her powers are strong and when she sneezes bcs yk pollen or wtv, there’s sparks and it’s hilarious and Scott finds it adorable. she doesn’t really know what she wants to do yet and that’s cool of her

Erica Reyes - age 25

they thought she was dead- think again bitch, she slowed her heart rate down so they couldn’t hear and everyone thought she was dead - when the alpha pack got rid of her body and Allison found it, she told her to tell the others to pretend she was dead bcs of the Alpha pack - they beat the Alpha pack but she and Boyd hid with Satomi’s pack while that went down and helped generally after. she kept going with school and bcs she dipped for a while, ended in Liam’s year and eventually became a nurse in 2017. she works with Melissa McCall and joins for family dinner a lot.

Isaac Lahey - age 25

went to France with Chris Argent but kept going with his studies at Chris’ insistence. was dating dating Scott before he had to leave with Chris but they didn’t actually break up,, it was more ‘i’ll miss you :(’. came back to Beacon Hills when Chris came to help with the deadpool business and stayed bcs of Allison and Scott 💞 his studies were mostly uninterrupted and he studied law, becoming a lawyer in 2020!! so at least one good thing came of this infernal year- he wants to specialise in family law.

Vernon Boyd III - age 26

yea no, Derek didn’t mercy kill him bcs he was fine :) de nile ain’t just a river lads he went into hiding with Satomi’s pack and came back when the Alpha pack was dealt with. went back to school and ended up in Liam’s year. he joined the air force when he was 18 and finished his rotc training stuff in 2018 and it’s pretty alright - he’s a pilot but was discharged in 2019 bcs someone started with him and bcs they were a superior, he couldn’t say shit. so now he likes to wear ‘fuck the army’ and ‘fuck the air force’ shirt. he has mad respect for the people out there but the people in charge? fuck em

Aiden Steiner - age 27

he lives bitches 😎 Ethan had a silver chain on so he plugged the wound with it - it counteracted the oni poison and the chain started melting into the would (he had mild silver poisoning but he was fine). school was normal and now he’s an engineer, living in Beacon Hills. he and Ethan left for London for a while bcs that town was crazy af. while Ethan was very happy there, he missed home so went back. he got an online ordination and learnt Japanese bcs why not

Ethan Steiner-Whittemore - age 27

got married!! whoo 🎉🎉 Aiden officiated (this is 2018 btw) and it was cute. the whole pack was there and the wedding was in London bcs as quaint as Beacon Hills is

‘i’m only planning on getting married once so this is gonna be awesome’ - Jackson Whittemore, 2017

he’s dramatic but yk Ethan was a blushing mess bcs ~life partners~ he’s soft y’all. he’s a primary school teacher in London and they’re part of the South London pack.

Jackson Steiner-Whittemore - age 25

also got married!! whoo 🎉🎉 ngl he’s lowkey a trophey husband/sugar hubby bcs he’s rich af - he does business with his dad but it’s not a big workload. he and Aiden want to adopt and yk being rich will hopefully help

Theo Raeken - age 25

ah yes, the absolute nightmare bi enby returns. (i hc him with he/they pronouns ✌🏽 as you do) so he successfully gained Scott’s trust and is part of the pack - yay! he and Allison have a sort of ‘you’re a bitch’ ‘no u’ *saves each others lives* relationship at this point - it took a while for Allison to warm up to him but he did save Liam’s butt several times so,, anywho, he’s still a werewolf-werecoyote chimera and he’s cool with it. he went to an online school and got his high school diploma - Liam then snuck him into the school and he signed the bookshelf bcs yea he didn’t graduate there but he did go there and now he’s graduated so yay. speaking of, he and Liam are dating, yea ik we been knew. they started dating in 2014 and Theo now works waiting tables at a local restaurants bcs he lives with Liam and his parents (you best bet that when they found out he was living in his car, they made him move in so he pays rent, not at their request but his). that was till 2017 and they moved out into an apartment together. Theo chips in on rent but it usually ends up being split 60:40 (Liam: Theo) so he cooks and cleans a lot,,, mainly bcs Liam can’t cook and does laundry like a maniac-

Liam Dunbar - age 24

this werepup is just as chaotic as always - he cannot be trusted with laundry bcs he doesn’t split colours from whites :) honestly it makes me wanna cry a lil bcs he can’t even fry eggs either- he has Theo to cook for him tho so that’s all good. he’s a history tutor for the high school students bcs he likes history and he knows the pain of high school- *shudder* he got an online Spanish and TESOL (Teaching English to Speakers of Other Languages) degree and is now teaching at Beacon Hills High but yk his first year teaching is all online bcs 2020-

Mason Hewitt - age 23

he’s Emissary to the pack when they don’t have Deaton *wipes tear* he’s all grown up- he went to UCLA and majored in biophysics and minored in LGBTQ studies (graduated 2017). he lived on campus (kept the bat next to his bed lmao) and videochatted with Liam almost everyday - he would visit almost every weekend even tho it’s a 6 and half drive but hey. he got an apartment near the uni where he and Corey lived after he graduated. they’ve been engaged since 2018 (it was actually the day after the Steiner-Whittemore wedding). he’s helping work on a new drug delivery system and they moved closer to Beacon Hills (Sacramento)

Corey Bryant - age 24

he also went UCLA, studying comparative literature and LGBTQ studies, and lived on campus (for 3 years before moving in with Mason in 2017) before graduating in 2018. they’re engaged and moved to Sacramento. he’s writing a novel that will thankfully have nothing to do with their confusing ass lives

Cora Hale - age 28

lesbian queen *bows* still part of her pack in Ecuador, South America - she’s got a lady lover who I call Rosa (affectionately nicknamed Rosalita). they met when she first got there age 12 (Rosa being 13 at the time). Rosa taught her Spanish and made her feel like part of the pack - after all the Alpha pack stuff, when she went back with Derek and Peter, she didn’t realise how much she’d missed them- how much she’d missed her. Derek asks if that’s her girlfriend and she’s like ‘wha- o.o’ and Rosa just goes ‘yup - nice to finally meet you guys’. she still visits DC to see Derek and Beacon Hills to see Erica and Isaac. even tho she lives in a different continent, Peter still looks out for her, sending anonymous donations in Talia’s name to the areas surrounding her pack’s territory

Brett Talbot - 24

*singsongs* ~he did not die~ the car swerved out of the way and the pack took him to Deaton who burnt the poison out of him (it was a long and painful process but he’s fine y’all). he’s the new lacrosse coach at Devenford Prep and he and Liam have a (mostly) friendly rivalry :) he’s a single pringle not bcs of lack of dates but just bcs he hasn’t found the one yet

Lorilee Rohr - age 22

also did not die :) she finished high school (2015) and went on to studying at UC Berkeley (art practice and theatre and performance studies, major and minor), graduating in 2018. she and Brett moved once he reached age 18. she makes and sells art from home

Nolan Holloway - age 25

after proving himself, same as Theo, he was eventually accepted into the pack. he and Gabe were dating and that’s that so he did mourn him for a long while. he works with hunters on the dl, trying to stop them hunting the supernaturals - he’s flipped 23 away from the dark side by 2020. he and Liam are friends which took a while but Nolan has his back (like there was that one time someone from the lacrosse team said they weren’t gonna ‘follow some mongrel’ so he reminded them that Liam was co-captain and if they didn’t wanna follow him, they could kindly fuck off :)) he’s a simp and has a raging crush on Brett like me too bruh

~the end~ for now

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sammysdewysensitiveeyes · 4 years

Note

Do you have any hcs about Dom and Pyro's family backgrounds, how they got their powers, etc? Any shipping dynamic headcanons? No reason, I just figured you might and I'd like to hear them!

You have opened Pandora’s box, my friend, because I have so, so many head-canons.

I’m afraid this is basically all Pyro. He’s the character that I really obsess over in that ship. Avalanche is cool, too, but I’m all about Pyro. Maybe someday I’ll do Avalanche head-canons after I think more about his background. But for now, I’m going to rant about Pyro in ridiculous detail.

Background:

Pyro’s Marvel bio only mentions an unnamed grandmother under relatives, so I head-canon that he was raised by his grandmother. His parents were both teens that quickly abandoned him – his dad before he was born, and his mother a few months afterwards. Adult St. John doesn’t really feel any resentment or angst about it. Since they abandoned him as a baby, he doesn’t take it personally – they just didn’t want to be parents, and he can understand that. (He sure as fuck doesn’t want to raise any kids, either). His grandmother was strict, and he got yelled at a lot, but it didn’t really cross the line into abusive. Little St. John often felt like he was being punished for someone else’s crimes, but he also grew up feeling fairly secure that “Gran” loved him and would take care of him. He was born in Sydney (according to his bio), but he grew up out in the countryside north of Sydney. They were lower middle-class, sometimes dipping down into poverty if Gran didn’t get enough hours at her job, but not dirt-poor.

St. John wasn’t especially interested in fire until his powers began to develop in adolescence, then he couldn’t help but be drawn to it. He could, on some level, “feel” it in a way he could never quite describe. Gran banned candles from the house because St. John couldn’t resist reaching out to touch the flame, marveling at how he’d never get burned. He eventually discovered that he could make fire actually DO things – leap off the wick and fly around, form into shapes. Despite being a fairly outgoing, impulsive kid, he keeps this as a “fun” little secret. For a while he was convinced that he was a fairy changeling, and that Gran was secretly a witch, and he’d get pulled off on some kind of magical adventure. Until he first saw a news report that used the word “mutant.”

I’d like to give St. John a good relationship with his grandmother into adulthood, but my mind automatically jumped to an angsty head-canon, and I had to run with that. When St. John was about 16, their house was threatened by a massive wildfire. They were late to evacuate, mostly because St. John had been off in the bush fucking around like a dumb teenage boy, wanting to get close to the fire. When he gets back, Gran is frantically trying to drag him into the car, and he is arguing with her that they can stay. He’s confident that he can use his powers to direct the fire around their house so they won’t lose everything, but only if he stays. So he finally shows his grandmother his powers. It’s the first time he’s told anyone. His grandmother is already in full-blown panic mode, she’s been trying to track down her grandson all day, terrified that they are going to burn to death, and now suddenly he’s not her grandson anymore. He’s a creature. He’s one of those unnatural creatures that she heard about on the news, and she just can’t handle it. So she does something that she later never forgives herself for. She gets into the car and drives away, leaving St. John behind. After driving for about 30 minutes, she snaps out of it, and realizes what she is doing. She tries to go back, but the roads are clogged with people evacuating, and the police aren’t letting anyone go towards the fire, even on foot.

Back at the house, St. John gathers a few sentimental possessions, and a few valuable items to sell (anything he can fit into a backpack), and then spitefully lets the house burn. He tries to sit right in the middle of it while it goes up in flames (for maximum teenage drama), but realizes quickly that even if flames won’t hurt him, he can’t breathe smoke. He also sends the fire towards neighboring houses, really enjoying how powerful he feels, and reveling in the destruction. He doesn’t kill anyone, and he doesn’t want to (he’s not in that mindset yet), he’s confident that everyone has evacuated. Eventually he sets a barn on fire, and hears the horses that were left behind screaming in terror. That’s enough to snap him out of it, and he just wanders around for a while, stealing any cash or valuables he finds in abandoned houses until he makes his way to the coast. Then he jumps on a cargo ship that needs extra deck hands, and works his way around Oceania, pretending to be older than he is, having adventures, and generally being an annoying little dumbass that the crew tolerates because he works hard and is brave in a pinch. A few years later he comes back to Australia and is annoyed to discover that he’s been declared dead, and has to jump through a bunch of administrative hoops to be “alive” again. He never seeks out his grandmother, nor has any desire to see or speak to her again. He can forgive his parents, but her abandonment really was a personal rejection of him, and it hurts deeply. It largely sets his views that humans are not to be trusted, and that they will turn on him in an instant if they find out what he is. (Not that Gran is responsible for his many crimes later. She’s not. He makes his own choices.)

After getting a degree (his bio actually lists college level education), he starts working as a journalist and traveling around Oceania again, and banging out romance novels on the side. He uses his powers only in emergencies, generally to save his own skin, but occasionally to help others, if he thinks he can get away with it. He probably starts a few fires as well, mostly by accident. He tries not to be too obvious, but still winds up associated with enough strange fire-related phenomena that Mystique eventually tracks him down and makes him an offer. He’s not really a “true believer” in mutant supremacy, but he thinks that humans will turn on mutantkind eventually, and he’d rather “get them” first. Especially since it’s getting harder and harder to hide his powers. Mostly, though, he’s in the Brotherhood for money and adventure, his two favorite things.

Sexuality: Because of the whole “Byrne imagined Pyro as gay” thing, I absolutely head-canon him as gay. I don’t care if he sleeps with dozens of women and declares himself straight in Marauders, he’s gay as fuck. He’s also deeply closeted – not in denial or self-loathing, just very private about it. Since he appeared as an adult in the 80’s, I imagine he grew up in a time when “gay” wasn’t something that could ever be openly discussed (ignoring Marvel’s sliding time-scale here). It would easily get him fired or ruin his career, and with the rough crowds he hung out with, it could even get him killed. He tends to have anonymous one-night stands, or short affairs, old habit from when gay relationships could not be open. He has no qualms about sleeping with married men, since back in the day there was no chance they’d ever leave their wives (and what she doesn’t know won’t hurt her, right?). I’m afraid I’m making him sound like a negative gay stereotype here, but basically Pyro is a selfish jerk, and he’d have no qualms about sleeping with married women if he were straight or bi. He does occasionally sleep with women, just to keep up an appearance of straightness, but he spends way more time flirting and then making excuses to not take them home. He wound up channeling a lot of his feelings into his novels – giving the female main characters the kind of grandiose romances that he could never have. He’d never admit to this, though, he’ll claim that he just writes trashy romance because it sells well and it’s easy. Avalanche knows and completely accepts him, although they never discuss it openly. The rest of the Brotherhood/Freedom Force have a vague idea, no matter how much Pyro might try to perform heterosexuality. It’s generally a “don’t ask, don’t tell” situation with them. As long as he’s not open about it, they’ll pretend not to notice. (And as times change, I think most of them just don’t care).

With Avalanche – honestly, I can enjoy their relationship as platonic best buddies, or as a couple. If they are buddies, I imagine Pyro kinda pines a bit for his straight friend who put him in the “mate zone,” but mostly just enjoys his company. If they are a couple, then Avalanche is definitely bi (he has a wife in his bio), and was largely in denial about it until he got dragged out of the closet by his good-looking, chatty, obnoxious Australian team-mate. Avalanche tends to be the quiet, reserved one, while Pyro drags him out to bars and keeps up this constant patter that just becomes pleasant background noise. Dominic pretends that he finds it annoying, but he really likes the companionship, and having someone lavish so much attention on him. (He misses it desperately after Pyro dies.) Pyro is a huge flirt, and is also the one most likely to cheat. But mostly, he just enjoys driving Dominic wild with jealousy, then taking him home for intense make-up sex. After years of basically being the secret “fling on the side,” Pyro actually really enjoys Dominic being openly possessive of him. Dominic probably didn’t realize he had feelings for St. John beyond “good buddy” until he was dying (or possibly until he was dead, if you want maximum angst.)

As a writer – St. John is a good writer, sometimes even a great writer. He’s not a literary genius, but he doesn’t really want to be. He just wants to have fun. If the books sell, he’s reasonably happy, although he hates it when he feels like a book isn’t up to par. Even writing trashy romance, he had to bend to publisher demands and couldn’t stray too far from the formulas designed to sell. In a fit of frustration, he once wrote a parody of his own work, with all the insane plot twists that he was forbidden from publishing, and then posted it online as fan-fic under the pen-name “Firebrand.” It’s the most popular fan-fic in his small online fandom, but no one has figured out yet that he actually wrote it. He’ll always claim that he writes to make money, but he truly loves it, and can’t really stop. He’s been writing stories since he was a child, an activity that Gran encouraged since it kept him quiet and out of trouble. He enjoys reading other romance authors, but he absolutely despises Nicholas Sparks, because Sparks (in his mind) is a pretentious wanker who thinks he’s too good for the romance genre.

As a team-mate – Pyro is an absolute vicious, callous bastard if you face him in battle, and if you’re a bystander. He doesn’t hesitate to kill if that’s what the job calls for. But if you’re on his team, then you’re his “mate” (unless you give him a reason to dislike you), and he’ll be friendly, banter, drink with you, watch your back in battle and expect you to watch his. He has no problem working with the X-Men as a Marauder, because hey, they’re on the same team now! They’re all in the same boat, both literally and figuratively, so it doesn’t matter that they fought each other in the past. He may betray them at some point, or have his own agenda (I don’t know where the book is going with him), but in my head-canon, he’s just going with the flow. The X-Men are letting him basically be a pirate, so what the hell? He generally doesn’t like to think too much about what he’s doing when he’s on a team, whether the Brotherhood or Freedom Force. A job is a job, and he tries to turn his mind off about it. He’s pretty comfortable just being hired muscle, and has no desire to lead or be in charge of anything. He doesn’t mind following orders, as long as the leader treats him well enough. I’d like to imagine that all of the Marauders will eventually get tangled up in scheming and intrigue between the Hell-fire club factions – except Pyro, who has no idea what the fuck is going on, and no desire to know.

Marauders Pyro – I love him, he is a trashfire disaster. I think he is being a bit wilder than he has been in the past because he isn’t really over dying and coming back to life. He’s having, not a mid-life, but a post-death crisis. I mean, he literally got a skull tattooed onto his face. Which seems pretty significant when you think about how the Legacy Virus wore him down until he was basically looking at his own death every time he looked in the mirror. (But he’ll say he just did it because it looks cool.) I don’t think Pyro minds the idea of dying (he’s pretty upbeat about it in a Freedom Force mission when he thinks he and Mystique are about to get gunned down), but the Legacy Virus was hard on him, because it was so slow and inevitable. It was slow and agonizing and (in his mind) undignified, and he was basically staring down the barrel of it for years while his strength slowly failed - no longer able to control his powers, no longer able to be of any use to his team-mates. He hated it. He hated the idea of dying in a hospital bed. He wanted to get his head shot off on a battlefield somewhere, not die in bed. And now that he’s alive and healthy for the first time in years, he’s just reveling in it, and trying to live life the fullest.

Other random head-canons:

Pyro is terrible at video games. Terrible. Again, because he showed up as an adult in the 80’s, I imagine him growing up without them, but even with the sliding time-scale I don’t think he really got into video games as a child. He had a pretty low-tech house-hold with Gran. He’ll play Smash Brothers with the other Marauders just to hang out, but he has no idea what he’s doing. He just mashes buttons, and every now and then manages to knock someone off the stage with a lucky shot (which is infuriating to whoever gets knocked out). He routinely forgets which character he is. Once he “played” through a round with his controller unplugged and didn’t notice. (Kitty won $50 off Bobby in that bet.)

Keeping with the low-tech theme, he tends to write by hand in spiral-bound notebooks, old habit left from his journalist days. He’ll write an entire novel by hand, then edit as he types it up, a laborious process that often involves a lot of booze.

You can never offend Pyro with Australia jokes. He knows all the Australia jokes, and he’ll make them before you do. He sometimes uses obscure Australian slang to mess with people, and sometimes just completely makes shit up to see what he can get away with.

He doesn’t actually like Vegemite all that much, but it’s a very nostalgic taste and it’s hard to get outside of Australia, so sometimes he finds himself absolutely craving it. When Avalanche commented that Vegemite was disgusting, Pyro ate an entire jar with a spoon while staring him down the entire time. He was starting to feel really sick by the end of that, but he had a point to prove, damn it.

Pyro is smarter than he often acts. This doesn’t stop him from being an impulsive dumbass. He’s fairly literate, and can quote famous authors while also smashing an empty beer can against his forehead. He likes to read when he’s got downtime and nothing else to do. He’s especially fond of Jane Austen (because she’s witty) and Wuthering Heights, because it is a novel about horrible, dysfunctional people self-destructing and taking everyone else down with them, and he lives for that drama.

He secretly watches soap operas and dramas, they play up to his interest in romance. His deep dark secret is being a major fan of the 1960’s supernatural soap opera Dark Shadows. If ever caught watching it, he’ll flip it off and claim he was watching the most disgusting porn imaginable, because that is less embarrassing to him than watching Dark Shadows.

I think that’s it for now. I have too many thoughts about Pyro. Thank you for giving me a reason to write this all down. Bless you if you’ve actually read this far.

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libertasforte · 5 years

Text

Homestuck epilogue impressions: Part Meat: Take 2: The Dirkcoursening

My first readthrough of meat didn’t go that well because it’s an exhausting read. I ran out of emotional energy. (candy gives you energy; meat takes it away.) So I’m trying again.

Dirk, you are so right about everything.

I’d rather say that in real life, everyone is rigging reality all the time. It may be subconscious, but I think it’s necessary for being a happy, well-adjusted human being. Which Dirk is not, probably.

Yes, I know I’m a sucker for sympathetic villains. Next.

I hate to say this, but I agree with Dirk here. It probably has to do with my low opinion of politicians in general.

GLaDOS!

- Boss of Wheels, CaNWC

hm this reminds me of

but perhaps moreso it reminds me more of Vriska’s sense of

fuck Jade is so cool

the reason why she has to be incapacitated a lot of the time must be because Hussie simply cannot channel enough of the energy to write for such a cool character

mhmmm

Hussieeeee

You’re not so innocent either. I’ve caught you leering at some pretty personal moments. Are you having fun being a voyeur? Just violating the shit out of everyone’s privacy?

No you’re the one putting it on the internet fucking exhibitionist

You are the generalized, impotent witness to all this. You are essentially as beholden to me as those whose lives I describe.

So I’m at once both a violator, and a hapless ragdoll powerless against your whims? You can’t have it both ways.

Well no, actually you can, that’s the beauty of it. It's the essense of media consumption - the absolute dominance of the author, and the absolute freedom of the reader. Without the spirit of voyeurism, reading becomes unconditional submission to the whims of the author. Simultaneously, the inability to take real, meaningful action lifts all culpability, setting the stage and inviting the guest of voyeurism so to speak.

In actual video games, the gamemaker induces culpability by letting the player take action within the game. Homestuck simulates this with the command system. Clicking to the next page is the issuance of a command by you, the reader, the player of Homestuck, played out as a ritual. (This was “more real” while they were actual reader-submitted commands, with Hussie acting as the GM for the fans. Within the text, this ritual is demonstrated first by the Exiles, and then Caliborn.) And yet, it is only the ritual simulation of agency, and everyone knows it is not real. Even in a video game, the only meaningful actions you can take are those allowed by the programming - those that have been accounted for by the maker. You only have as much fake agency as the writer creates for you, and in the best of cases, the writer can do wonderful things with it. But really, you are still outside. The Homestuck characters aim to escape canon, and yet, you were already there.

mighty Serket

mighty Serket. mighty Serket? mighty Serket. mighty Serket. mighty Serket. (mighty Serket, mighty Serket.)

Dirk proceeds to take out his ire on the you-reader by bullying the reader stand-in, John. (The problem with this strategy is that anyone with half a brain noticed that John is nothing more than the blank slate protagonist and divested themselves of emotional investment in him long ago.)

Jade’s got this disarming combo of head-in-the-clouds flightiness and the kind of legit, down-to-earth cred that can only be earned by having done something like cutting open your own grandfather and stuffing him full of polyurethane foam.

fuck Jade is so cool

pumpkin matcha. pumpkin matcha. pumpkin matcha.

Jade is such a great foil to Dirk. Here, let me try one of those chad virgin things:

Virgin Dirk

disrespects pronouns

ships Davekat by trying to puppet them

got his “heart broken” by some guy and stops engaging in meaningful relationships

we literally have to listen to him expound on his own social incompetency

killed himself

Chad Jade

immediately feels bad and apologizes for not recognizing pronouns

inserts herself into her favorite ship like a confident person

loves everyone

has the good grace to get incapacitated so that we don’t have to slog through her social incompetency

would never kill herself despite being alone and lonely

...this is not funny :/

I’m ecstatic for this personal development they’ve embraced, for the people they are, the lack of gender they identify with, and the pronouns they prefer. I’ve got no problem with it whatsoever, and frankly, it’s fucking insulting anyone would ever imagine otherwise.

Dirk baby you don’t say that if you’re cool with it and have no problems

ugh that is the best way of putting it

Jade looks at where her hands are folded in her lap. Bites her lip. She has her own concerns about this, her own thoughts. Reasonable thoughts, I’d say. But I’ll refrain from any further comment.

ahahahahahahaha

my gender is F for Fucked

I mean there are definitely alternate selves I feel adjacent to, like being a lesbian, or a bi transman, but I am not. And factoring into that it cannot be understated how incredibly easy it is to be a cishet girl, particularly for my situation, and my gender is not my priority in life, "gnc" but no one ever wanted to be a conformist, sure “nb” but what even is the binary, I think I heard the joke somewhere that gender was made up by bathroom companies to sell more bathrooms, sorry I realized I am effectively what Dirk would call a “pompous alien virgin” and I will stop monologuing on the subject.

there was a lot of porn too and no one was consulted

pffffffft

If your perception expands beyond the meat sack of your body, then are you really an individual anymore? Why shouldn’t we become gods? Why shouldn’t we become one God.

Become one god? That came out of nowhere. I think at that point you become Sollux or something and that is an objectively terrible fate to befall anyone. Anyway it’s probably an Evangelion reference or something

All the power to you.

“Sorry, she is occupied” is the creepiest fucking joke and I know this is intentional because Hussie is the creepiest motherfucker

Okay, let’s analyze this. heat death = sex, solitary nature = desire for intimacy, this is creepy QED.

Yes, I admit. I’m just fucking with her at this point. But can you blame me, when she’s making it so easy?

stop fucking Rose you daughterfucker

leitmotif: clever boy

My reaction to every single Homestuck opinion I have ever seen, including my own

I kin this lmao

this is perfect

oh my god Dirk stop control playing your daughter

There is no free will and therefore I am not responsible for all the awful Homestuck fanfiction yaoi that have entered my eyes

She’s beautiful, actually—diaphanous and disheveled and filled with the limitless light of metaspiritual curiosity.

Sophia!

She uncouples herself from the creaking, buckling partitions of her physical mind, and her consciousness dissolves into a space more vast, a domain given structure and order by my words and conviction. She’s permitted the barriers between us to fall, to allow us to know each other more perfectly. As she was saying before, to resist this, to question it in any way, would be to succumb to dysfunction, to pathological insularity, to sociological sin.

Acktually, ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

And yet, ironically, renouncing our humanity is exactly what we have arguably just done. Good riddance, I say.

Humanity is all about boundaries that should never be crossed and if crossed, only very carefully! Otherwise you will lose yourself! Boundaries exist for very good reasons. Every boundary crossed without due respect is a violation, and it will change you.

The truth belongs to me.

Narcissist.

Believe me, I’m sympathetic to the temptation. It’s always just there, isn’t it? A limitless reservoir of emptiness, perfectly available to you, patient, omnipresent, and dead ahead.

Preface to say I’m fortunate to have never truly understood suicidal ideation...

This “manning the other end of a suicide hotline, transmitted through pure thought in a metatextual format” reads to me as incredibly trolly...

er, yes, as a "trollish form of self abuse", excuse the racism (eyes Karkat and Vriska). It’s not really that Jade isn’t the kind of girl who would kill herself, but she isn’t killing herself. Dirk did tho. (not that suicidal!Jade isn’t a valid headcanon, there’s definitely things that can point that way, mostly talking about that personally in my hc I would never kill myself and I see that in her, I mean that I headcanon myself as not suicidal yes)

I mean, what can I say, knowing that anything I have to say or think on the matter would probably come across as incredibly insensitive. Sure, I ficced it, but it was never real. I played at it as a form of gratuitous self-harm. You know, the edge. I played at it because it was never real. And in a way that’s probably even more insulting to the people who have to go through that.

Sure, like, I can try to make metaphors, like living is not consensual, you cannot safeword out of living, and that if you are coerced to live then it is also your birthright to control who you are, and that if you can’t find a degree of freedom that serves your needs then you can always create your own, and that you would always be promised the potential to overturn and reform all the systems that govern and provide legibility to you and everyone else,

but perhaps that’s also just self-serving, and if you are stuck in a way of being with no hope for change in a game theoretic sense what good is there a system without the potential for the ultimate vote of no confidence,

like sure my desire and all our desires to see each other live is entirely selfish,

like, how do I say this.

The thing is, I’m pretty secure in my expression of nonsuicidality, and...

I’m sorry I ficced the life of a character who wanted to kill herself. You know. I want. I want to understand what it is to be suicidal. I want to transgress, I want to understand that which most people cannot understand, what it means to live the whole human experience, all of it. But to know that you can personally actually entertain the idea and go through with it in real life? And to live with that? I don’t know what it means to not have that safety. I want to understand, I tried but I can’t and honestly? I think you’d agree that it’s probably for my own good that I don’t try.

soooo uhhh idk Dirk gets sentenced to an eternity manning suicide hotlines AU

Anyway, enter Calliope.

So maybe we could stand to dial down the melodrama, just a bit?

Like maybe somebody needs to get over herself?

These are gold because they’re subtly a self-own, but also, owning me, because, as I have demonstrated above, I am exactly that kind of person.

You’re fucking boring, your narrative voice is a total fucking drag, and someday I’m going to make you pay for this.

:o Dirk wants to take part in the time-honored Homestuck tradition of: Make her pay! Excuse me but you do not have the pussy pass for that sir.

And then, Johnrezi. Two universes destroyed, logic of canonicity forever made obsolete, gay singularity created and exploded, Donald Trump, and despite everything, it’s still popular girl fucks heterosexual male protag fanservice.

And as such, Calliope loses the cherubic sexual battle of penis fencing.

Ah, Meat 34. The “what do you mean this isn’t porn” chapter. I appreciate the numerological significance of 34. I saw on twitter that one of the female authors apparently wrote almost the whole thing and I am...relieved...?

Dirk is weird about Roxy. Not weird weird but weird in the sense that it’s different. From earlier:

In the spirit of full disclosure, Roxy’s the only one left I haven’t been able to crack. Her mind remains a total enigma to me, just like it always has. If I had to guess, it’s her Void powers that make her invisible, even to increasingly omniscient parties such as myself. For all intents and purposes, it’s like her thoughts don’t exist. She’s the same person, as far as I can tell. She still wears her heart on her sleeve. But the bottom line remains: Roxy Lalonde is still utterly fucking inscrutable.

Roxy is the other person he idolizes, other than Dave.

Dirk and Vriska. Hussie riffs them against each other, in a way which feels totally unfair to either of their characters. But they are similar. Idolizing. Something about having to stay true to themselves. But like, seriously? You are comparing Dirk to Vriska? But seriously? Are you comparing Dirk to Vriska? (The observant might notice that Dirk's name reads as a combination of vRIsKa's and eRIDan's (or aRaDIa's). Which is to say, in terms of memetic inheritance in the Hussiespace of ideas, Dirk was already fucked.)

Anyway, I feel like Dirk has trouble with *her* gender specifically because Roxy is *her* in that they are distinct from *him* and it is *his* separation from *her* that unambiguously makes *him* *him* and *his* separation from *her* reinforces *his* humanity, since separation is what reinforces humanity. But that’s just a theory. (Theory: all theory about gender and sociology and even the manosphere stuff, okay especially the manosphere stuff can be imporved by adding at the end: But that's just a theory. A game theory.)

It’s convincing, actually. Reasonably authentic, and quite masculine. He’s off to a great start exhibiting the mannerisms associated with his chosen gender. I’m genuinely proud of him.

This is distressing. I mean good that Roxy is passing, good for him, obviously, but you, Dirk? What is this, gatekeeping, grooming men into becoming men, I mean, not that it is a bad thing, “Son, I’m so proud of you.” But Dirk being proud of Roxy always rubbed me the wrong way. It never made me feel good about it. All it really makes me want to say is, the truth belongs to you, Dirk, I guess.

I feel depressed all the time. But I can’t remember ever having the luxury of feeling peaceful about it. Why should it be different for anyone else?

I know that you’ve always felt out of step here on Earth C. I know that you could easily put on a brilliant act that would fool everyone. You could potentially do that for the rest of your life. But it will eat into you, hollow you out like a parasite, because you’ll always refuse to allow yourself to be understood.

This. This shit right here. This is Dirk’s true villain monologue.

Dirk’s problem is that his consciousness of his ultimate self and realization of Heart powers are making him able to puppet his friends, and making him unable to see them at their full granularity as people, right? So it didn't make sense to me why Calliope can't save him from his power. Why can’t he just live like a normal person inside the confines of the agnostic and vaguely benevolent narration by Calliope?

Why isn’t he able to, as Calliope awkwardly puts here,

He gives us his answer here: because he will be alone. Because he cannot break out of himself. Because, if he were to live constrained by Calliope, he would not be able to live anywhere that is not inside of himself, and that is somewhere he cannot be.

Oh, come on. Can we keep our minds out of the gutter for more than two fucking seconds?

The actual question here, Dirk, is can you. Actually, you’re so nice to have explained it to us already:

I’ve only taken a moment to answer a few questions. Not ones I heard you ask—because again, you are nonspecific and therefore do not matter—but ones I imagined you asking. And by imagining these questions, they became less fake, and as such, demanded similarly non-fake answers.

It just means I carry a greater responsibility to take care of those more fragile.

You know, I always h8ed this particular aspect of masculinity. (H8, as distinct from hate, refers to a kind of hatred that serves to perpetuate the phenomenon being hated.)

It was always an illusion. You put your face in your hands and sob. The catharsis is relieving, bittersweet. Years of suppressed insecurities melt away. You’re finally free of this. Alone, yes, but free.

Surrender is Freedom. Lose the stakes, and nothing matters. It is a freedom that derives from apathy.

But there ought to and should exist a different kind of freedom, a freedom which presupposes agency and investment in reality, (*title drop*) STRONG freedom.

Look. Even you can manage to top this guy.

Just, the idea of Dirk saying this to Dave is, incredibly funny to me. Like, even you can be a man. Just do it, bro.

Karkat’s probably quite modest and feminine alien penis

ahahahahaha oh god

Okay, okay. Let me try to analyze why this is so funny to me.

Because it is...homophobic? Homophobia as implied by toxic masculine misogyny? Like, misogyny, but in the particular way it manifests in toxic masculinity in which male femininity somehow devalues men? In condemning the feminine in men, toxic masculinity is supposed to reinforce the male dominance over the feminine or something. And then it spills over into homophobia within this misogynistic-toxic-masculinity worldview where the mechanism of being penetrated is considered feminine (“feminine gay”) and the mechanism of penetrating is to feminize some other man (“predatory gay”) and those two specific ideas are then conflated together in the context of misogyny into generalized homophobia. “No homo, dude.” Idk, man, gay is just gay.

So perhaps since it has already been established that Dirk is somewhat misogynistic, invocation of the feminine carries the weight of prejudice. But it’s possible I’m reading too much into this, so let's take the generous approach and assume that feminization is not meant to devalue. But then why? Perhaps Dirk is implying that Dave actually prefers the feminine to the masculine? Is Dirk trying to help Dave get over his internalized homophobia by saying “this is totally straight if you want to be”? Is it Dirk with his internalized homophobia thinking it would be more convincing if it was het, that het is more valid? And then all this reminds me of the incel idea of fucking men because women are less available, which is emphatically not a factor here because, as Dirk offputtingly keeps repeating, superior genes.

But it is not Karkat being feminized, but his penis. What is a feminine penis? (And not the case of transwomen who have feminine penises.) Neutralizing the symbol of masculinity? As a cishet girl I feel like penises have negative connotations because of, I dunno, how men keeping sending unwanted pictures of them to women on the internet. I feel like culture in general has a case of penisphobia. Idk. Penis ouija. (I mean if I had that kind of thing on my body I would be afraid of it too, but like. It’s ok! Send your local internet girl dick pics and I will tell you that your penis is beautiful. It is very pretty and needs no vagina to validate it. Body positivity! Damn.)

But it doesn’t have to have anything to do with the social context! There also exists the specific sexual kink of turning something masculine into feminine. That is a thing. Sexuality, how does it work? I don’t know! I am effectively a virgin alien girl. Some time ago I just threw up all my hands in the air because none of this makes sense, I understand fuckall about gender and sexuality, and I am probably unwittingly being homophobic!

Maybe all I can say is it just reminds me of a bad AO3 yaoi fanfic. What if...oh shit. What if pornhub and all the other usual sources of visual porn all went down or stopped working due to file format obsolescence or the Condesce’s anti-reproduction measures and all that was left of online human sexuality was AO3, a lone server somewhere valiantly broadcasting all that’s left? What if growing up the only porn Dirk had access to was on AO3? Ok this cannot be canon because he definitely had access to all the media from the 2000s, he was probably into the furry fandom. But it would still be damn funny. Even just the generic idea of AO3 becoming all that’s left of the internet from this era, and future internet-archeologists having to reverse engineer what society was like from the online wreckage of horny teenage+ girls. I mean, extrapolating from how shitty all the other websites are in this era, it is not implausible.

All of this is wrong, none of it is valid, and I diagnose society (and therefore, myself) with generalized penetration obsession. It's all over the place and all I’m saying is that all this combination of the weird ideas I’m having about this topic is just -

Something happened between Dirk and Jake. Dirk won’t say.

There is dynamic range for things that could have happened, and what you think happened probably says more about you than what it says about Homestuck. It would be the perfect setup for endless Dirkcourse, but Dirk isn’t a sexy woman, so not really.

If you want a hint from Homestuck (if you do care what Homestuck would say about it, which, frankly, sounds like a bad idea), though, I think the most revealing thing he said about what could have happened was, augggh fuck Meat 34

Or at least, that’s what you like to believe. That people can’t resist you. That you have no responsibility for their feelings. That everyone uses you. That you’re the victim. Yes, it’s so unfair that anyone in this universe or the last has ever had a single expectation of Jake English. Why should anyone respect your personal autonomy when you’re practically begging to be taken advantage of?

So tell me, Jake: which one of us is really the bad guy here?

He makes it out like he’s talking about Jane, but he’s talking about himself. (He made it out like he was talking about Terezi, but he was talking about himself. He made it out like he was talking about Jade, but he was talking about himself.)

If I try and succeed, I’m a hero, right? And if I try and fail, at least I made things interesting on my way to the grave. There would be a tragic nobility in that. And the way I see it, settling for anything less from my arc would be, frankly, pathetic.

I hear you Rose

So yeah, of course I know I “have to be stopped.” It’s part of the contract.

I love your unilateral contract

What you sign up for when you assume the burdens of this sort of power.

Take up the burden.

Where there is that which must be subdued and suborned for the greater good, there is that which will instinctively resist.

The symbols hold all the power, but abstractions are leaky and will fail and hurt people.

That which intuits that whatever’s going on here is “wrong.”

“Wrong, but valid.”

Otherwise, intervention wouldn’t even be necessary, would it?

Right, intervention, the Princely vector of influence in reality.

If reality and those within it were already so intrinsically pliable, so amenable to deviating from their own nature, the sins of men and faults of God would have no rigidity or resilience.

People need systems to work in. People need reality to be stable. It needs to behave consistently, and make sense. People believe they have the right to an understandable reality. Do they? Parents ought to provide, but does wider reality have any sort of obligation? Is there power to be found in pretending to provide? It’s scary for people, to be threatened with the idea that reality might not exist.

There’d be no challenge in forcing their correction. No reward in ramming salvation down their throats.

Subdue and suborn for the greater good. People don’t know what’s good for themselves - be the patriarch you want to see in the world.

I know this isn’t coming cheap, what I’m trying to do. The cost of it is knowing I need to be stopped. I accept it consciously, and when the time comes—if it comes—I’ll offer myself up gladly.

I’m sorry, this is all Basic Arguments Against Colonialism. Colonialism wasn’t so bad? Nazis are people, just like me.

I’m remembering why I wrote that fic about that suicidal girl. Right, I wanted to rescue her from that architecture. I think that’s okay.

So when I say I know I need to be stopped, I guess it’s more than just accepting my end of a diabolical bargain. I know I need to be stopped, because I’m sure deep down, somewhere inside my infinitely recursive sense of self, I know what’s going on here is all just a little bit sick.

Diabolical bargains are unilateral contracts, made with the self by the self.

To be honest, I’d consider killing myself and sparing reality all the trauma from the jump—I mean, a legit suicide, not one of those melodramatic faux-suicidal plays for attention, sympathy, or Jake’s dick. But to really do it for keeps? For a truly selfless purpose? Nah. Too cowardly for that. Too afraid to stop existing for good. Wouldn’t you be if you were me?

Dirk, why are you me? Stop being me, this is creepy. Don’t tell me I was subconsciously reflecting you. Homestuck is fucked.

Yeah I’m gonna write that fic where you’re manning some suicide hotline forever and you’re gonna be trapped

I guess therein lies the problem. If I weren’t me, obviously I’d consider myself much less indispensable. Only worthless people permit themselves the great luxury of a valorous sacrifice. When the deed is done, what was really lost? It’s like the guy in the mail room quitting in a self-righteous huff. Who the fuck were you again? No, when the sense of self is so substantial, when the fate of everything turns on every vain whim of an ego this sprawling, this entrenched in the very medium that contains all else, there’s a certain existential sunk cost that goes with the whole deal. A persona that vast doesn’t just self-terminate. It won’t allow itself to.

Okay, no, never mind. It is not that I am too cowardly to die; I simply do not want to die. I love living. But someone who actually wants to die, and is too cowardly to do it? Someone who, if his own sense of cosmic importance was taken away, would have nothing left? You are you, and not me, and all of society tells us to help suicidal people, but I would never understand how, and that is the boundary that separates my self from the other, and that is okay.

That’s why when someone finally comes knocking for the price I owe, I’ll fully welcome it. By then it’ll have been a long time coming, and I’ll probably have done more than my share to make sure, somewhere along the way, it all got put into motion. What good is a villain who doesn’t have a satisfying dramatic comeuppance in store for him? So yeah, the next time I die, let’s pencil it in as a Just Death. And let’s also have it on good authority that the next time Dave cuts off my head, it’ll be for good.

Alright, Meat 42. This better be the answer sheet.

Therapy...

Wait, I got it. Candy has no answer. There is no Candy 42. That is so cute, Hussie, you absolute madman.

Kanaya stares into the distance. The best fucking question anybody ever asked is: why am I so fucking awesome? I believe I’ve recently provided more than enough material to supply an answer to that question. But Kanaya may have just asked the second-best fucking question anybody ever asked. What WAS she thinking? What are any of us thinking, really? Who’s doing the thinking, and who’s having the thoughts?

The more you study the question, the more it seems all concrete forms of accountability go up in smoke. Her original thoughts were never that important, and the significance of the idea that she was the one authoring them was always a bit overrated. My mission is to someday clear this all up for everyone. Remove the ambiguity, suck the mud out of the water. It’ll be a lot better that way, trust me.

Really though, whose thoughts are being had? When you get right down to it, all I’m doing is projecting. Subdue and suborn for the greater good, and divide the earth into ideas. Ideas provide legibility and form the seat and the core of the being. It's what anyone needs for structural integrity vs. other people's ideas - the unalienable right to be sovereign. It is Lore.

She’s really pissed. Yikes. Couldn’t pay me to be in that room right now. Not for all the agency in the world.

Ah, nice. Engineering situations in want to deny your own agency and free will. Excellent taste in extreme sports, I must say, if a mere shadow of the ultimate one: creating a 7-year 8000-page shitpost epic webcomic for the sole purpose of killing a version of yourself. We all stand under that shadow.

I’m not a gambling girl, but if I was, I'd bet Kanaya’s gonna get to Dirk before Dave does. Dirk cucked Kanaya, after all.

Kind of a catch-22, right, Kanaya? The one who’s “protecting” you all from my influence is also blocking you from getting any answers. Not that you’d even know what to do with them.

I feel like there’s supposed to be something deep to be said here but I’m not getting it. Idk, knowledge is fall from Eden, something.

She picks up the heart monitor and throws it out the hospital window. Holy shit?

Is this...is this supposed to be symbolic? The observation of the Heart is ending, and being thrown out the window, which in Homestuck is symbolic of breaking through fourth walls, abstraction barriers.

she picks up the heart monitor, and throws it out the hospital window.

ha. Calliope repeats the line.

Oh, yeah. I guess I don’t need to fucking do this anymore. Don’t worry, I’ll bow out. Seems like you got this from here. Go nuts, skull girl.

Kanaya picks up the device that was observing the Heart, and defenestrates it, symbolizing the self’s escape and liberation from this particular plane of reality. Holy mother.

roxy is looking out the broken window with an apologetic demeanor, a hand to his mouth.

“Excuse me.”

kanaya drops to the floor and begins weeping again. she feels the sorrow anew from her wife’s departure, with a sense of rage and pain unshrouded by the veil of the prince.

The raw, visceral emotion that can only be felt when you’ve broken out of yourself.

kanaya drops to the floor and begins weeping again. she feels the sorrow anew from her wife’s departure, with a sense of rage and pain unshrouded by the veil of the prince. neither she nor her friends will have to worry about him anymore, so long as they remain on this planet and under my protection.

But a bunch of them won’t remain, will they? They won’t be able to help themselves. You know that.

So: will they or won't they? Will Homestuck or won't Homestuck? I enjoy playing at Homestuck theory, but theory without falsifiable predictions is indistinguishable from psychosis. So my prediction is this: there is no continuation. This is the end of Homestuck proper. The Homestuck epilogues had a thesis, and demonstrated it to the best of its ability. Something to the likes of the fact that providing symbolism and legibility (meat) is at odds with true freedom and pursuit of happiness (candy). And yet, selfhood is found somewhere in between, breaking out of both states. Eternally so.

Or you can keep on chasing Dirk, forever and ever. You still don’t get it yet. I’m already gone.

And if my prediction turns out to be wrong, then I will get angry at Hussie again. Then we will wage war on him again, together.

his influence over canon has come to an end, as has this particular story. his ultimate sacrifice was made to put the missing keystone in place and avert the supreme dissipation of all that shall be considered to hold truth, relevance, and essentiality.

Valid Lore.

the rest of my presence can simply be reduced to a string of words. a recorded stream of ideation with a particular texture and cadence, but aside from that, there is nothing that should be considered remarkable about its source. one speaker can easily be swapped for another, and then another, under the right circumstances. speakers can duel, predominate, overassert, or fall back, as one does into the comforting blanket of space.

i leave all who inhabit this reality with a recorded stream that is colorless, sourceless, and quietly divested of accountability. for if i were to insist upon anything else, could i really be considered worthy of protecting the very cosmos i describe?

Yep, I'm pretty sure Candy doesn't have a narrator! The narration just conforms to the thoughts of whoever it is descri8ing at the moment.

Is your specificity not working for you? Then a8andon the specific and 8ecome a trafficker of sym8ols.

She’s stopping us from 8eing su8orned and su8dued, sym8olized “for the greater good.”

So, the mystery girl was Vriska all along? I’m just a character, idiot. Colonize yourself, or 8e colonized. Have your Lore or 8e powerless against Princes like him. That’s what I would say ::::)

#homestuck epilogue #dirkcourse #homestuck #dirk strider #homestuck reaction #homestuck analysis #homestuck theory #meatverse #cw: suicidal ideation #cw: incest joke #cw: cursed

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silasism-blog · 7 years

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— ‑ hey bbies !! my name is glo ( she/her, est ) and .. you rlly just have no idea how hype i am to be part of this beautiful rp playin’ my guy silas ! i haven’t used an alfie enoch fc in a million yrs either so this is exciting for me okay !!! my son . more rambling under the cut :)

so ! as i’m thinking about what i want to tell u guys about silas i’m basically realizing that .. he’s the worst ? he really needs to go. still a little bit of a FUCKBOY extraordinaire as much as i hate to say it

he’s had a pretty good life which contributes to that ;; silas was an only child and even tho his mother was kind of absent a lot of the time his father ~raised him right~

he’s spent pretty much his whole life in areton, probably even attended areton university to get his degree in forensic science, so he believes he’s pretty much earned his right to act like he runs the town lmao

OKAY no i’m exaggerating , he’s not that outright cocky but he’s still vain on the low. he’s v intelligent and he knows it so he can get smug ‘ nd act like he’s maybe a tiny bit better than some of the other ppl around him

generally pretty cool tho like he is p friendly and jokes around with people a lot ! but irresponsible as hell and doesn’t care that much about most things lol

^ like. i feel like it’s kinda mentioned on the main that the police force isn’t the best and one of the reasons for that is honestly S I L A S probably !! i feel like he prob assumes a lot of the same responsibilities that the officers do despite formally being a forensic scientist ( bc lbr small-ish town how much does he really have to do [when he’s actually even doing it] ) so i have this hc that he’s the cool cop™ (see also: shitty cop) who turns a blind eye to underage drinking most of the time and shows up to noise complaints but ends up joining the party.

despite being irresponsible he will also go into dad friend mode so quick if someone he genuinely cares about is in some kind of trouble. his problem is that dad mode just doesn’t kick in until the circumstances become dire lol

responsible mode also kicks in when his boss realizes he’s been turning semi-important paperwork into paper airplanes and throwing them at his coworkers . he’s HONESTLY the jim halpert of the police force

another thing he’s bi as hell and everyone prob knows it because he gets around. i’m not kiddign when i say he’s still exiting his fratboy stage. a BIG fan of one night stands n while he isn’t opposed to long-term relationships (hit me w bitter-exes-that-he-cheated-on plots OR a person-he-thought-was-the-one-but-then-broke-HIS-heart plot) he usually loses interest quickly

seriously the longest he’s committed to anything is having lived in areton his whole life and rarely leaving for more than a weekend at a time

also lokey manipulative when he wants to be which isn’t too often BUT he can read people pretty well so he knows when he has to charm someone or whip out the puppydog eyes ( watch out for those ok they’re killer )

okay that was SO LONG i’m so sorry but pls !! like this or mssg me to plot !! ur all perfect ok thnk you for reading and if you didn’t i don’t blame you lol <3

#aretonintro #i gotta go back and tag this as ooc laTer because #i havent figured out my tags yet lmao #i'm almost as much of a mess as this post beware

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stipulatedconflict · 7 years

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Band interview with NEGATIV(Oslo/Norway)

NEGATIV from Oslo, Norway

NEGATIV is a new hardcore punk from Oslo. This band makes me feel that it will bring something exiting to the Oslo punk scene which is not just about Oslo punk scene but it is more involvements from punk scene in other countries. It’s maybe also by the vocalist Skunk’s own hard works for label and bookings, and NEGATIV is deeply involved in it as well. Thus this band makes me feel something will happen! I have seen them couple of times and the latest one was at Barrikaden with SIEVEHEAD. Once they started playing, the band immediately grabbed the entire atmosphere in the moldy underground space and delivered its manic primitive energy thoroughly. Their sound is based on 80s hardcore with weird mixture of Scandinavian hardcore punk, some Japanese flavor, light distorted guitar sound which sometimes sounded even rockin and the edge of thrash hardcore. Their groove is undulated with its manic groaning vocal but still has some sharp edge of thrash hardcore here and there. Their groove completely smashed the space and whole live space was undulated by the crowds and its sweaty moist heated air. It was a great show.

This time I could get a chance to interview them.

Check their sound Here:

Bandcamp: https://negativ1010.bandcamp.com

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/endlessnegativityoslo/

Interview start from below;

-So, who is in the band? is there any band which any of you have played or been playing before or currently playing beside NEGATIV?

Skunk: I do vocals, me and Sig used to scream against each other in JENKEM WARRIORS before and I'm also part of a noisy hardcore band called INTERNT OPPGJØR. Sig used to play drums in DISCUNT and has a electro band called HYSJ.

Møkk(Kenneth) plays guitar and has been in bands since I wore diapers, MORTE CEREBRALE, 2:20 and currently KNUSTE RUTER just to name a few!

Our drummer; Erik has probably had the most musical projects than I can count! He originates from Death Metal but is very comfortable with anything rockin' and-a-rollin and grabs punk songwriting better than most; maybe it's because he's so untouched by all the genre-wanking bullshit that's been going on. I think his most noticed band was FILTHDIGGER, he also had a hardcore band called STRUKTURELL VOLD which is coming out on 7" sometime this year..

-Is there anyone who is involved in any DIY punk activities like running label, writing zines, taking pictures, designing, organizing shows etc in NEGATIV?

Skunk: Møkk is the mastermind and fingers behind ENDLESS STUDIO which is where we record and practice, we just moved into a new space so it's still under renovation. I'm gonna do my label work from there as well.

Sig has always been super busy with Queer and LGBTQ activism in Oslo and used to be the editor of the feminist radio RadiOrakel!

Erik does sound on a regular basis in our squatted venue; Barrikaden.

I've been running a small hardcore-punk label for about six years now called BYLLEPEST DISTRO and been doing booking at Barrikaden for pretty much the same amount of years. I've done sporadic designs for covers and posters but wouldn't really consider myself a designer in any sense. Just a complete hc-punk dweeb who spends too much time on punk stuff.

We all do shows!

-How did NEGATIV start in the beginning? how did all of you get together?

Skunk: Me and Sigrun had some aspirations to start a japanese-style hardcore band in the veins of stuff like GAI, EEL, LEBENDEN TOTEN etc. but had really big problems finding people in Oslo who were interested in playing that primitive and distorted. Sig was supposed to play drums originally, then guitar when Erik joined in on drums. We had our first rehearsal with a complete line-up including MØKK on guitar , which resulted in Sig playing Bass.

Møkk and Erik brought their own inspirations along and it ended up like something completely different! Kenneth wanted to bring influences from Italian 80's hardcore like NEGAZIONE and IMPACT, I think.. Although we try to avoid it I think we can't remain completely untouched by roots of Norwegian hardcore like KAFKA PROSESS , SISTE DAGERS HELVETE etc...

It was a really cold winter and all our other band project were on complete Hiatus.

-How do you describe the sound of the band by your own words?

Skunk: I think Sorry State Records described us the best; so I'd rather not describe our sound in my own words! They wrote; "After starting with a primitive SOA-style banger based around a punishing polka beat and snare rolls as jagged as a prison shiv, Negativ settle into a pleasantly thrash-infused take on 80s hardcore." It's originally about the two first songs on our EP; Automatic Thoughts but I think it describes our entire sound pretty well.

It's primitive and banging steadily! Sometimes we jazz out completely into weird atmospheric parts, but it always remain primitive to the bone.

-Is there any specific bands gave influence/inspiration to the band sound?

Skunk: Anything 80's hardcore but I think we all come from a bit different directions!

All the mentioned above and so many more! I listen to too many hardcore punk records... For the past year I've been quite inspired by the vocal style in UPRIGHT CITIZENS from Germany and early DEAD ENDS from the Philipines. The foundation for me has always been japanese bands from the 80's though. Sigrun is mostly inspired by american hardcore , anything from MINOR THREAT to SICK FIX to L.O.T.I.O.N to LIMP WRIST; I know there's also a great deal of EMBRACE and other mid-era SST influences in there... I know for sure that Erik is inspired by the roots of punk like THE GERMS, SEX PISTOLS and BLACK FLAG while Kenneth gets his groves from anything technically aggressive and JIMI HENDRIX!

-What kind of elements/influences do individual members bring to the band to sounds like NEGATIVE?

Skunk: Everyone in Negativ are practically professional musicians besides me, Erik brings a lot of discipline and force to the band which makes us evolve faster. He's also the father of the term "S-Beat" which is his most common beat inspired by SLAYER and old school death metal like that, it adds a great foundation for primitive hardcore punk!

Sigrun gives our songs those bass lines that makes the songs stick out, there is always a minimalistic melody or harmony that gives the songs a certain drive. I guess it's from that post-hardcore stuff I mentioned above but I dunno haha! I think Kenneth truly gives us that 80's sound with the way he plays in general and he's also a genius at making simplicity sound massive!

-How did you decide the band name? Is there any special meaning? something negative?

Møkk: We where talking about how things seemed upside down in the world.

That the ruling class of the world is mentally ill, but they act as they are the healthy ones. That right wing racist tyrants claim the role as victims, while refugees have lost everything, that capitalists are talking about ecology and “saving the world” while they are the ones raping it. When its more hierarchy, social and sexual abuse in the punk community than in the rest of society? What the fuck is going on!?!?! Its upside down isn’t it?! We where thinking of calling us “The Negatives” Like a photo negative. Where everything is inverted. But, since we`re all quite pessimistic, and having more experience with depression and negative thinking than we would like, and the double meaning with the upside down status of things at the moment, we cut it short and went for Negativ. The meaning is the same.

Its no secret that we dig Negative Approach either. Hehe!

-How's the punk scene in Oslo?

Møkk: Oooh, its like a roller coaster! Haha! Its ups and downs.. But yeah, oslo is a “bi-polar” city. We usually have very cold, long and dark winters. But still we have hot and sunny summers, the sun is up almost 24/7.

So when the winter is letting go, it seems that people are becoming manic, its good! But its definitely manic. Hehe!

Everything happening at the same time, everybody is ON and its a million things to do.

And of course, people are depressed during the winter. Getting “winter depressed” is as common as getting a cough here..

All that affects the punk scene, how the spirit is, if we are fighting each other or fighting our real enemies, or fighting for keeping our spaces, fighting for a better world. We are a small scene, everybody knows everybody, we aren’t very split into fractions. At least not in the same degree as other cities in Europe where I see more fractions and more homogenic communities. And I feel that the punk scene in Oslo is gonna be a good place to be in the future. Seems like people is starting to see what we have in common, rather than what we don’t have in common with each other. I think it has been a bit of a down period lately, but it looks promising at the moment. But hey! Its the month of May right now and maybe I`m just optimistic and manic at the moment?

-How do you think about playing in a band in Oslo?

Skunk: I think we only played five shows in Oslo during the year we have existed. It's a small city and even though there are always some punk gigs, the quota of local bands is always a variable. We've only done five shows here or so for the past year and we're gonna keep it at a minimum just to keep shit interesting...

The best thing about playing in a band in Oslo would have to be the access to studios, venues etc. We run our own label and studio directly in the center of Grønland and can pretty much play how much/how little we feel like and still be sustainable. I

The worst part is probably that a lot of great bands from Oslo doesn't get recognized abroad because we're so far away from everything and often drown in the shadows of bands from Sweden and Denmark!

-Which bands are you playing together a lot? any bands you feel sympathy as in a same scene?

Skunk: We played a couple of shows with Terrorstat, they're probably my personal favorites in Oslo. All good mates and half the band played with me and Sig in Jenkem Warriors. Terrorstat is a true freak accident of a fusion between Boston hardcore and Svart Framtid. They always deliver and is just such a hard-working, no bullshit band! All the members are also involved in Punk shit in Oslo outside of the band! Båndtvang is also a sick new noisy gang that I love to bits! Can't wait to see what direction they're heading, but it kinda reminds me of if Crucifucks would play Noise Punk!

We also did a two of our gigs with BLOOD SUCKERS, which is probably the only puristic USHC band in Oslo at the moment. Håvard from that band has put up quite a few gigs for us as well with the SVART SAMTID collective!

-Is there any bands you feel sympathy for the sound/attitude outside of Norway?

Skunk: First off, I'd have to say Arggh! Fukk! Kill!!! that we played two gigs with in Germany, they've helped us out a lot and are great guys; we are doing a UK tour with manic D-beaters in Split-Veins in the end of June, Carlos from that band has done some artwork for us and is generally a super sweet guy! We had a good session with PMS 84 in a club in Oslo not long ago and we hope we'll get to do some US shows with them in 2018!

-Is there any good bands out there in Oslo which we should keep our eyes on in these days?

Skunk: Besides BÅNDTVANG, BLOOD SUCKERS and TERRORSTAT; I would strongly recommend everyone to check out MODERN LOVE, URBANOIA, PURPLE X, and OUTER LIMIT LOTUS! Oslo is not really a big enough scene to segregate genres, so the bands on this list varies from post punk to hardcore to power pop! We all play together!

-How do you guys compose songs and lyrics? some specific members are dedicated to it? or more like bring some riffs and developing it by jamming?

Skunk: Most of the flesh on our songs is hammered out by Erik; our drummer; then the rest of us puts our flavor on it. This is not a rule though and I think all of us bring ideas to the table!

-Have you played outside of Norway?

Skunk: We did a short European tour about 8 months into NEGATIV's existence where we toured Denmark, Germany, Holland and Belgium. We got to meet old and new friends and I think it helped us define how we want to tour in the future.

-What was the most impressive/unforgettable show NEGATIV had so far?

Skunk: The craziest shit ever for sure was to see the kids in Die Friese, Bremen singing along to our lyrics! I never expected that on our first tour!

-What was the craziest things you had as NEGATIV?

Skunk: For me it must be the positive receivement we've gotten from the international punk scene. I've been playing in bands for about five years now where we've practically been having to beg for shows; with NEGATIV things've just fallen into place and the record has almost distributed itself. We're getting so many requests for shows, interviews etc. it's actually becoming stressful! We're extremely thankful to the punk community in it's completeness!

-What is the further plan for NEGATIV?

Skunk: We're just about to embark on a UK Tour with Split-Veins and if things go as planned we wanna record our side for a four way split we're doing in Sheffield! We are also working on material for an LP and would love to tour the US in 2018 if shit go as planned!

Møkk: We just played together for a year, so i have the feeling we have some crazy things happening in the future! Right now there’s just some small stories involving chocolate in Amsterdam, stalking in Copenhagen, Latin American punk sieg-heiling in Rigaerstrasse. So, can`t wait for the real crazy stuff to happen! Haha. Ugh!

-Is there any specific goal/aim for NEGATIV to achieve?

Møkk: At first it was just a goal to create a vent for frustration. Just to let it out.

The ambition was no ambition. It still is I guess. Some kind of therapy.

Right now we want to make an Album, we have a lot of stuff we want to sing about, and musical ideas to dig into. So no.. No specific goal at the moment.

But that can change as Byllepest Records is making a compilation called “infection”.

I think the goal is to infect society with punk rock. And make punk rock a very dangerous contaminating disease.

Skunk: Our goal is to keep up the fight and make sure it doesn't end anytime soon! Fight in Progress!!!

#Interview(EN)

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