finished reading the golden enclaves and idk if this is a hot take but i feel like it had better exploration of the importance of communal unity and the necessity of societal change than like 99% of books that people like to classify as hopepunk these days simply for not just being like "working together is so good, i love community, together we can accomplish so much and change the world for the better <3" and was instead like "yeah, this work is going to be really fucking hard. it's going to suck, and it's going to be unpleasant, and people are going to hate you for doing it. and maybe you'll feel like giving up because it feels like too much, and being complacent and just going along with the status quo would be easiest. but you still need to do it, because it's what needs to be done, and eventually the world will be better for it."
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It's sort of inevitable in D&D, especially in a game with a lot of calls to the idea of fate and a lot of complex parental relationships, that you'll touch on breaking cycles, but man do Imogen and Ashton seem to be lined up to be some of the most clear examples of it: Imogen, suddenly leaving her home, trying to learn about herself and stop her nightmares and get rid of her powers, becoming frustrated when information is scarce, even flirting with the idea of joining the Vanguard when it becomes an option...but deciding against it, staying with her friends, even finding a different way to ease the worst aspects of her powers will still retaining what's good. And Ashton, also broken and of burning purpose, also seeking power they believed themselves to be owed, but, in theory, fated not to deceive and destroy but share their gifts with someone else and use it to end a cult of personality rather than start one. They are both one really bad experience away from becoming their parents, but they have the opportunity and the information not to make the same mistakes.
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The day passed in blood, liquor and black lace. Not so unlike the others. He expected the debauchery, the violence. The symphony of gunfire. An NCPD Enforcer set ablaze beneath the neon sky, the sound of it's burning only deafened by their laughter. But he did not expect the cake. He couldn't remember the last time he had had one. Sometime long before. Before he was this. Before the callouses and the scars. He could hardly even picture it now—delicate hands ripped away from the flame of a birthday candle. Another life, one that no longer belonged to him.
He plucked a chocolate frosted cigarette and placed it between his lips. An attempt to hide his smile. "You make this all by yourself?"
"Fuck no. Klepped it from some fucking kid."
"Smokes too?"
"Took 'em from your glove box."
"Fuckin' devil."
"Happy birthday, Dag."
The words rang sweet as the cigarette tasted. Like none he had had before.
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re lrb in any case to me astarion’s arc is less about regaining agency than becoming aware that he already has it and has to act like that. there's a distinction between agency as a material fact, ie having the ability in theory to make your own decisions and act on your desires, and the awareness of having that agency.
i'm no psychologist, but in my experience one of the most helpful steps in recovering from mental illness has been the awareness of my own agency ─ yes, sometimes I feel as though my life is completely run by my intrusive thoughts, but invariably getting out of that place has involved a recognition that ultimately, I am the one in control of my thoughts and I have the agency to work through them. that doesn't mean that it isn't hard, or time-consuming, and sometimes I don't succeed in the way I'd like, but nonetheless the ability to at least try is and always has been in my power.
in baldur's gate 3, your companions appear with varying degrees of agency (aside, obviously, from the tadpole they all share). they range from gale, whose current situation physically and magically restricts him but who at that moment in time doesn't have many other immediate restrictions on his day-to-day actions, to wyll, whose every move is watched by his abusive warlck patron.
nonetheless, your companions benefit from being shown that they not only could have agency at some point in the future, if they break their pact/shar's curse/free cazador/free orpheus/fix the infernal engine/get the crown of karsus, but they have agency now and must therefore use it responsibly. wyll is already to some degree aware of this, i think, even if it's only because he is so morally forthright ─ he's one of your companions who remains actively trapped by their abuser during the game, yet he refuses to kill karlach because he knows that would be wrong. even within his severely limited circumstances, he makes a choice, he demonstrates agency. in the shadowfell, shadowheart ─ a cult victim subjected to extreme psychological and religious abuse ─ has the choice whether or not to kill aylin, and can make it either way.
astarion, at the point at which you meet him, has just been given freedom for the first time in, essentially, his life. it's no surprise that he doesn't know what to do with thise newfound agency, and doesn't recognise it for what it is, given that he literally cannot remember ever having control over his own life. that's deeply tragic, but it doesn't erase the fact that he has control over the things he does during the game. those actions (for example, given i am still talking about that last rb, talking about the children he kidnapped and gave to cazador as though they were nothing), are things he has agency over and is responsible for. nonetheless, he acts as though he does not, lurching from one attempt to gain power to another (killing the druids to suggesting you use whatever's in moonrise to your advantage), because his own self-perception as someone completely powerless is so overwhelming. he must accrue power because that is the only way he can make sure he's safe and can never be hurt again. it's just that that self-perception is not completely accurate, he does have agency; if he makes choices that result in moral wrongs, those moral wrongs are his to bear.
i'm not getting at astarion here, I don't mean to imply that he's at fault for this attitude. it is, obviously, the natural response to 200 years of enslavement and abuse. kind of the whole point of the game, of all of your companions' quests, is that if people are hurt and abused often they will feel as though their only avenue towards power is to do the same to others. but being severely traumatised doesn't make his behaviour okay; he doesn't get a free pass to do whatever he wants because of cazador. you can like him, literally who am i to say otherwise (i like him too!), but don't just excuse everything he does or get rid of the most interesting parts of his character because you're unwilling to grapple with the fact that as it stands in the game, he's morally incredibly complex.
i think there's a tendency to assume that a character either must or must not have agency, and to present it as a binary, because for some reason it's used as a shorthand for moral culpability, when in reality the relationship between agency and culpability is significantly more complicated. i haven't really been getting into coerced choices here because that's a whole other kettle of fish (though i will give the necessary disclaimer that my stance on this is quite clearly influenced by the fact that deep down i'm a bit of a virtue ethicist). nonetheless, while this is my pop philosophy take and i'm not trying to impose this overall moral framework on people, i think it's pretty reasonable to say that lack of agency does not mean that what you did was not wrong.
implying that astarion is at fault here would be indicative of the very attitude I am trying to oppose ─ the idea that people either have agency or don't, and if they do bad things with agency they are evil, but if they don't have agency they are victims. astarion is both ─ he is the victim of horrendous, harrowing trauma and yet he has done bad things and in fact visited that same trauma upon other people. there's no escaping this, and i think it would be bad for astarion to just brush everything he did for cazador under the rug because he did it for cazador. he still did those things ─ he might not be culpable, i do not think he can be considered as such, but there's no way you go through all of that and don't feel guilty for it.
notably, if shadowheart kills aylin and wyll kills karlach (if he can? i actually don't even know if he can do that, but hypothetically), they are still responsible for that action and it was still morally wrong. they have to deal with that: part of dealing with it can be to recognise the coercion they were subject to, but the fact that they lacked agency doesn't just erase the wrong or mean it was never wrong in the first place. likewise, astarion becoming the ascended vampire is still obviously a terrible thing to happen for him and everyone else, and is in no way justified just because it might finally give him the sense of safety and control he craves. the whole point of that moment is that even when he is being retraumatised, when he has returned to the place and person that hurt him, astarion has the capacity to choose, and to choose the right thing. acting as though his trauma means he has absolutely no agency whatsoever and so never has to address the fact that he can, at various points, greatly fuck up, just removes one of the biggest themes of his whole character.
tldr: astarion has agency, one of his greatest challenges is realising that he does and that he must use it responsibly, and acting as though that is not the case does a disservice to his character and the story it is trying to tell. also it is deeply deeply boring. the end.
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