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baldursgate3tempobsessed · 7 months

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Astarion teaching Tav embroidery/sewing. Preferably with him dragging them onto his lap for a close-up demonstration.

Why do I make everything so long? Do I have a problem? There is always so much introspective nonsense idk man. Anyway adorable idea actualized below!

Also mentions of sex but this is totally sfw. I went with the timeline of when your sleeping together but he hasn't quite admitted his feelings to himself, as a side!

Astarion had no idea how he became your camp's designated seamstress. How was it possible that a team of eight adults were all incapable of knowing the basics of such a fundamental skill?

Then again, Karlach seemed to be perfectly fine with wearing her clothes to tatters. Wyll was born with a silver spoon in his mouth. Lae'zel, for some gods forsaken reason, was only capable of fixing up heavy armor. Gale seemed to prefer eating magical clothing items versus being able to salvage them and the rest were mediocre at best.

The look of confusion on Shadowheart's, who was the second most skilled by far, face when Astarion tried to explain a ladder stitch was enough for him to give up entirely. It was quicker to fix the tears then to explain simple concepts to simpletons.

Brats. All of you. With one who was significantly more brazen than the rest when it came to using Astarion as their personal tailor.

Tav, the lovely thorn in his side. Who could handle wielding a glaive with startingly accuracy, but somehow managed to consistently stab themselves every time they picked up a sewing needle. It was impressive, how useless someone who was otherwise extremely competent could be.

Impressive as it was frustrating. Because somehow you managed to destroy your clothes more often than anyone else. Always bashfully handing him over torn trousers and ripped shirts every other night. Anyone else he would have told to fuck off by now. Even the rest of the camp knew better than to test their luck with anything more than once a fortnight. But you lacked the very basic level of self-control.

It was his own fault for giving you special treatment in the first place. But sleeping together did warrant a few extra benefits. He got your protection and you got to experience the pleasure of being with him. Simple. Or it would have been if you didn't insist on making things complicated.

Because Astarion was starting to feel things. Things that he hadn't anticipated. Because your company was... oddly pleasant. You were an interesting little thing, he had to give you that. Well-read and talkative, but not boringly so. No, Astarion sometimes found himself losing track of time when he was with you. A simple question could easily turn into a two-hour conversation about the silliest things. It was... nice. New. And oh so different from what he was used to.

Cazador didn't even allow him or his brethren to speak in his home, let alone speak to each other unless it was strictly necessary. But here he was free to do whatever he pleased. And he was finding that included being near you, despite how differently you both saw the world.

He couldn't quite blame you for your delusional optimistic views. As a Tymora worshipper you were basically doomed from the start to believe inane concepts like good fortune, luck, and gods, the good that could be found in "anyone".

You were as sweet as you were aggravating and Astarion truly, honestly, had no idea how your insane trusting nature hadn't managed to get you killed yet. But then again he... kind of liked that about you. He liked that you trusted him. It made his life more convienet and... it was nice to be seen as a person worth confiding in. Instead of the blood-sucking monster he really was.

He... liked that. He liked you. A fact that he didn't enjoy thinking about. He didn't really know what to do with it, and the implications of where his feelings could lead were starting to become unsettling. So he pushed it out of his mind. It was an easy thing to do when doom was always looming in the background. He had plenty of things to think about that didn't include his fondness for you.

Like the inner-rage you caused when you managed to somehow rip the same shirt twice in one day.

"That's it," Astarion announced when you bashfully asked for his help yet again, "Come here. I'm teaching you how to sew."

"But you always get mad when you try," You whined. But despite the hesitancy you still obediently sat next to him as he got out the sewing kit, "Do you promise not to snap this time?"

"That depends," Astarion said with a roll of the eyes, "Do you intend on not maiming yourself with a sewing needle?"

Astarion smirked at the way that made a blush crawl up your neck, "That was one time!"

"Actually darling it was closer to seven," Astarion corrected as he snatched the shirt from your hands, "Now pay attention. Look at where the tear starts. Notice how it's on the seam?"

You nodded along as Astarion explained the basics to you. He could tell that you were trying your damndest to pay attention, but when it was your turn to hold the needle your hands couldn't stop shaking. Astarion frowned as he tried to watch you work, his view obfuscated by the angle and the flow of your hair.

Well that wouldn't do.

Before he could think better of it he was hauling you into his lap, ignoring your surprised squeak as he situated you just right.

That was better. At least now he could see what you were doing. It was a sloppy stich, sloppy enough for him to undo it before putting the needle back in your hand.

"Now do it again," Astarion ordered, "Let me see what your doing wrong."

Astarion watched as you tried again, frowning when he realized your shaking was even worse than before. In fact, you seemed more nervous than ever, your face red as you kept your eyes down.

It made Astarion torn between watching your hands and looking at your face. You really were adorable, getting all worked up from simply being in his lap, all while trying to stay dutifully undistracted. He could almost hear your heart racing, obvious through the tension coursing through you.

Silly little thing, acting all shy like he hadn't already literally been inside of you. But at least you were doing better, your stitching straighter than Astarion had ever seen it. Maybe he'd have to make the lap-sitting mandatory from now on, for the good of your learning.

"See," Astarion said softly, his breath tickling your ear as he leaned in closer, "You're perfectly capable of learning this."

"So it looks good?" You asked, taking a chance to glance at him. Astarion hadn't realized just how close the two of you really were. He had never... seen you like this before. So closely. Even when you slept together, he had been a bit distracted by other parts of your body. He never noticed just how many light freckles were hiding across the bridge of your nose, how your eyes looked almost golden in candlelight. You smelled nice too, sweet. Like you had been rolling around in a field of lilies. Considering your personality, Astarion had to wonder if that's exactly what you did.

It would take almost nothing to press your lips together. Barely a turn on the head.

"Astarion, are you listening?"

The sound of his voice snapped him out of his revelry. He straightened, clearing his throat as he looked over your work again, embarrassed in a way that he couldn't quite describe.

Maybe you weren't the only one being affected after all.

"It looks better," Astarion said honestly, "But still needs work. You'll almost certainly be needing more lessons."

Preferably like this. Astarion wasn't quite ready to let you go yet, not when you felt so pleasantly warm in his lap. But luckily enough for him, you didn't seem quite so keen to leave.

Astarion tightened his hold on you laughing at the way it made you gasp, "But that's enough for today. I think you've earned a reward. Don't you?"

"I-yes?" You said back, your eyes flitting from Astarion's mouth and back, "Please?"

You really were too precious. How could he possibly say no to that?

Astarion grinned as he tilted your chin up, finally pressing your lips together. It was an odd feeling, kissing someone when he couldn't stop smiling, but he supposed you just had that effect on him.

Maybe being the camp seamstress wasn't so bad after all.

#astarion #astarion x reader #astarion x tav #baldur's gate 3 #asks #cutsey #this was a very cute idea

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dirtbag-linecook-kyloren · 5 months

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apparently we're all posting smut for thanksgiving, and I wanted to join!! this is an excerpt from my Pornstar AU, for context in thix au it's basically benarmie bc i couldn't find a way too add enough trauma to kylo's backstory to justify a change (because this is really a story abt hux) and Ben's ace in this story, so their sex life is basically just things I find interesting as someone who is also ace? im really playing with the definition of sex here in a way i find super fun.

anyway have 2k of porn, and then after you should all read jayne's fic private demonstration because it's amAZING

OKAY PORN UNDER THE CUT

As strange as it was adjusting to mornings with someone in his bed, Armitage is having more trouble right now reaching over and finding only rumpled blankets and a long cold pillow. The scent of Ben's shampoo still clings to the fabric when he pulls it into his arms, buries his face in it and takes a deep breath. The blinds are open, no doubt done by Ben long before the sun rose, before he climbed out of their bed, before he left Armitage to sleep away another day of retirement aimlessly.

While the garden has proved a useful distraction, some days are harder than others. Each first light brings with it the reminder that he doesn't have anything to do, besides keeping three plants alive and taking care of himself. Having never been skilled at the latter, Armitage can feel himself fraying at the edges. He twirls his wedding ring idly with his thumb, runs the pad over smooth metal, and watches how light reflects off the gold band. For a moment, Armitage remembers that day in the Trader Joe's, dreaming about taking a man home and doing something for himself, fucking someone without a camera involved.

Some might consider it a betrayal to explore this line of thought, Ben's made it clear that Armitage is allowed to imagine whatever he wants, and do with those thoughts whatever he pleases. Though his morning wood is fading, Armitage reaches a hand between his legs, buries his head deeper into Ben's pillow and cups himself, relishes in the pressure. He imagines an alternate world, one where Ben took him home, laid him out on the couch, slotted between his thighs until clothed erections pressed together, layers of fabric adding to the friction.

Ben would have gasped into his mouth, still shy, and Armitage would have whispered encouragement at the shell of his ear, nipped at the lobe before kissing his way down Ben's neck. His fingers would have popped the button of Ben's jeans, his hands pushed down his joggers, and following along with the daydream, Armitage pushes his briefs down, propping Ben's pillow against the headboard so he can sit up and lean into it.

Eyes closed, Armitage circles his hole lazily. He's not willing to move and grab lube, so the most he can do is toy with himself, but imagining Ben's hands make even that exciting. Ben's voice, husky from lust, stuttering with nerves, asking if Armitage is going to be good for him, open for him, scream for him.

"Yes," Armitage whispers to the empty room, moving from his hole to wrap around himself, pressing under the head with a finger while his free hand toys with a nipple. "Always, Ben."

"Good morning."

His eyes snap open, his neck jerking as his gaze shoots to the door and his hands freeze. Ben's there, leaning against the frame, shoulders loose and a smile tugging at his lips. Does he move his hands away? And when had Ben gotten home? What time is it? Armitage hasn't checked the clock yet, hasn't even taken his phone off the charger.

"Short day," Ben says, coming further into the room. He takes Armitage's dressing chair and picks it up, moves it to face the bed and leans against the back. "Keep going."

A decade of fucking on camera, and this is what makes Armitage blush. With stilted motions, Armitage strokes his cock, torn between looking Ben in the eye and pretending he's not there. Ben moves as Armitage hand slides up and down, comes to his side of the bed and opens the drawer where his toys are.

"Ben-" he starts, but he's shushed, one hand raising a finger while the other rifles through the drawer.

"I've been thinking," Ben says. His hand withdraws from the drawer, a bottle of lube and a dildo both fitting in his grasp. "If it's alright with you, I'd like to try something." His mouth opens, word Armitage can't find the words, listens instead to the click of his throat as he swallows, the hitch of his breath as he reaches up to take the items from Ben. "I'll need you to use your words, sweetheart."

"Yes, god," Armitage gasps. Ben is well aware what the pet name does to him, has seen more than once how he flushes at the smallest bit of affection. One of his hands stills, just holding himself, and the other sets everything he’s been handed next to him on the sheets. "Yes."

"Good." There's a laughter to Ben's words, even as he sits in that chair at the foot of the bed, legs spread, facing Armitage and watching him with warm eyes. Sat like that, Ben's slacks do little to hide him even soft, and Armitage has to stop himself from staring. "Are you going to do what I say?"

"Ben-"

Ben clicks his tongue.

"Call me 'love,' dear. We don't want you to wear my name out." Armitage’s flush moves down his neck, turns his chest red as his head tries to hide in the pillow. "None of that. I want to see how much you enjoy everything."

"Ben-" Armitage winces, looks forward and forces himself to hold Ben’s gaze. "Love, please."

"Hands off."

Armitage groans, but he listens, grips the sheets and looks at Ben, from his eyes, warm and calm as always, to the rise and fall of his chest, even and slow. Ben chuckles, leans forward in his seat as his elbows rest on his thighs.

"What were you thinking about when I came in?" he asks. "When you said my name."

His head twitches, and Armitage wants desperately to hide, bury himself in the blankets away from intense brown eyes. He feels exposed, flayed open. Instead his own gaze traces Ben's jaw, wonders how his stubble would feel against Armitage's chest.

"The day we met," Armitage says, breathes almost. His hands clench in time with his jaw, and Ben's silence bids him to continue. "Imagined you spreading me out on the couch, didn't get much farther than that."

"Half-fucked out, and still all you could think about was more," Ben says with a laugh. "I want you to stretch yourself, sweetheart. Just one finger for now, I'll decide when you're ready for more. Do you understand?" Armitage nods. "Out loud, honey. I need to hear you."

Armitage's breath stutters as he uncaps the lube.

"Yes, Love," he says. His hand shakes as it moves down his body, as he shifts down just enough to bare himself to Ben. His legs spread on habit, knees drawing up towards his chest, the muscle memory of camera angles burned into the motions. He hasn't shaved in a few days, but Ben watches with rapt attention as Armitage circles his hole.

"Don't tease yourself," he says. "That's my job."

Armitage groans as he slips inside, takes a deep breath and relaxes as best he can. His cock is weeping against his stomach, head red and precome spilling from the slit, and Armitage wants to take it in hand, give himself relief. He keeps his hand in the sheets instead, flexes his fingers. "Can you keep a slow rhythm on your own, or do you need me to set it for you, dear?"

He can't think, let alone keep time, but his throat is dry and his head foggy, so Armitage shakes his head, watches as Ben's brows furrow.

"Armitage?"

"You, please," he manages.

"You're with me?"

"Yes." After another breath. "Wanna be good."

"You are," Ben says. "You're doing so well."

Standing from his seat again, Ben comes around the bed, sits next to Armitage and leans into him as the mattress dips. His dress shirt is rough against Armitage's heated skin. He's pulled into Ben's chest, and his head falls back to rest in the crook of Ben's neck, panting breaths against his collar.

"Is this better, sweetheart?" he asks, words vibrating through Armitage. One of his hands is on Armitage's waist, and the other runs slowly up and down his arm. "Can you keep that pace?"

It will be glacial, Armitage knows, work him closer to the edge inch by inch and still maybe never get him there. But it's what Ben wants him to do, and Armitage wants to be good.

"Yes," he mutters, nodding. He pulls out as Ben's hand drags down his arm, hissing as he thrusts in when the motion moves upward. Minutes pass with the slow push and pull, hours, maybe. Armitage's world has narrowed to the warmth of Ben at his back, the hand on his arm, and the catch of his rim each time he pulls out to the tip.

"Add another, honey," Ben says, words whispered into Armitage's hair. "You don't have to be quiet. The world would be lucky to hear you."

His stomach twists as Armitage lets out a noise, a gasp, a moan, a sob. Even with thin fingers, there's a stretch, a strain. When his fingers are fully seated, Ben has him scissor them, pressing soft kisses to the crown of his head, his temple, the skin behind his ear.

"Tell me how it feels," Ben says.

"Not enough," Armitage groans. "More, please, Love." The dildo rests on the sheets to their left, and Armitage looks to it. "Please."

"Another finger first, sweetheart." His eyes squeeze closed, and Armitage tries to focus, slides into himself even as he loses the rhythm for a second, his wrist stuttering. "Do you need to go faster? Tell me what you need."

"Ben- Love." He drawls the words, turning his face up blindly, mouth open. His unasked plea is answered as their lips meet, kiss chaste despite the depravity of the situation. When Ben pulls away, Armitage whines, an aching in his chest.

"I want you to fuck yourself now, honey. However you want, you've been so patient, exactly how I pictured." Both his arms are wrapped around Armitage now, pressing them close enough the buttons of Ben's shirt dig into his skin. Armitage doesn't grab the lube, can't think beyond lining the dildo up with his entrance and sliding it in slowly, inch by inch until the base is flush against his rim. He can't bear to pull it fully out, can't suffer through the feeling of emptiness, so Armitage fucks himself with shallow thrusts, his shoulder straining to angle just right.

His prostate is just out of reach, and Armitage sobs, hides in Ben's neck again as he sits just on the edge. It's so much, and still it's not enough.

"Love," he gasps, chest heaving and breath hitching. "Please."

"You need help, don't you, dear?" Ben asks, and one of his fingers pinches at Armitage's nipples. "Can't think enough to get yourself off, so you need my help." He does, god, Armitage doesn't even know what to do, can't collect his thoughts enough. "Sweetheart, you have two hands. Wrap the other one around yourself for me."

Armitage does, holds himself loosely. If he slows down the thrust of the dildo inside him, he can manage weak strokes, twist his wrist at the tip and runs his thumb over the slit. Armitage moans, settles for just squeezing his cock to thrust deeper as his stomach coils tighter, as his toes flex, as his breathing grows shallow.

"Close," he mutters. "Please, Love, I'm so close."

Ben's teeth close around the shell of his ear, worry the cartilage and nip at the skin.

"What are you waiting for?" he asks. "You've been so good, honey. Let yourself come." His movements stutter as he pulls out and pushes back in, and Armitage lets go of the dildo, leaves it seated inside him and thrusts up into his own hand. "Are you picturing me inside you, sweetheart? We'll need to get you something bigger next time, let you really imagine how I'd split you open."

Mouth gaping, pushing back into the body behind him, Armitage comes. He spills over himself, over his hand, come warm on his fingers and sticking to his skin, and even with closed eyes, he can imagine Ben's gaze, eyes hooded and focused. Armitage pumps himself through his orgasm, smears his cock with come and hisses through the overstimulation, chasing the feeling despite the pain.

"Gorgeous," Ben whispers in his ear, pulling his hand away. "Look at you, how ruined you are. I'll be right back, dear, I need to get something to clean you up."

Ben climbs out of bed then, settles Armitage back onto the pillows as his breathes even out and he floats on the aftershocks of sensation. The tap in the bathroom, feet on the wooden floor, and then a warm, wet towel is wiped gently over him, careful against the sensitive skin of his cock.

"Sit up, sweetheart," Ben says, guiding him up with a hand at the small of his back. His eyes flutter open, and Ben hands him a glass of water. Armitage takes it in weak hands, glad that Ben doesn't let it go, but instead brings it up to his lips. "You did so well, Armitage. God, I hope you liked that."

Armitage chuckles, pulls the glass away from his lips.

"Understatement," he mutters. "Loved it, Ben, just-" The water is set on the bedside table, and Ben opens his arms. Armitage climbs in, settles across Ben's legs and rests his head on Ben's shoulder. "You said you were thinking about it?"

"You always-" Ben pauses. "During the-" He winces. "During, you seemed so happy, just listen to instructions. I wanted to try and give that to you, somehow. Googled a few things, came up with this."

"You should Google things more," Armitage says. He's in Ben's arms, but he's also back on that set, surrounded by bodies and meeting Ben's eyes through them, watching himself be watched. "Just you, though, right? Only want you."

Ben presses a kiss into his hair, pulling him closer.

"Just me, and just you."

I can't find the like line break thing so this is just a line break

Also the during ben's talking abt is a gang bang hux films for work before he retires, this scene makes a little more sense at the beginning and end in context of the fic but mainly it's just porn and @moondyad was my one yes vote to join in the porn fest that I needed bc i literally only ever need one other person to encourage me

#kylux #benarmie

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sendpseuds · 5 days

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Love the last chapter! was obiwan already interested in men, like I know something was mentioned in the first chapter and of course him mentioning that anakin is handsome, but I wasn't sure if he is aware or ready to have something with anakin or a men?

Thank you so much for this incredible question!

There are a lot of layers here, and while I plan to address a lot of it directly in the fic as we go, some of this will just be there as subtext, so I'm super excited to talk about this.

[read perfect spiral]

Obi-Wan definitely knows he's bi and has acted on his attraction to men throughout his life. He definitely doesn’t pursue men as often as women, and I’d go as far as to say he represses that attraction to some extent but, aside from the typical homophobia in organized sports keeping him in the closet, he has more complicated feelings about the fact that he’s bi than he does about the fact that he is attracted to men.

He carries a lot of shame about the fact that he’s closeted, but whenever he gets close to thinking he might want to come out [Satine often encouraged him to, especially toward the end of their relationship], he always comes to the same conclusion:

What’s the point?

What’s the point in saying “hey! I like dudes!” if he’s just going to turn around and be in a heterosexual relationship? The queer community deserves someone who actually represents them, and Obi-Wan has convinced himself many times that he cannot be that person.

[he’s an idiot, obviously, but that’s how he sees it]

Now, as far as if he’s ready to have something with Anakin??

No.

At least not where we left off in the last chapter.

Right now in the story, Obi-Wan is at the point where he’s willing to admit to himself that he finds Anakin attractive, but he hasn’t realized that he is attracted to Anakin yet, and he certainly hasn't realized that Anakin is attracted to him.

I also want to mention that Anakin is a completely different ballgame for Obi-Wan— it’s not the fact that he’s a man that is the biggest burier between them, it’s that they are teammates. That is a forbidden line that they both struggle with. This is a point I really really want to make clear in this fic, these two do not go around ogling other players. For both of them, football and sex are two completely different facets of their lives, and this blurring of lines is the biggest issue with them getting together. There’s this horrible notion that a queer man in a locker room wouldn’t be able to control himself, and that is just simply not the case.

This isn’t lust at first communal shower.

Whatever is going on between these two idiots is just something else entirely.

Anyway, now that I’ve turned your lovely ask into an essay, I hope I answered your question!

I am having the best time writing this story and everyone’s thoughts and questions have really been helping me to make the world so much richer. Please keep the thoughts coming, I would love to hear from you 🖤

#anon asks #perfect spiral #obikin #football au #my wips

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asherloki · 11 months

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His new purpose

Bbc Sherlock

Fluff!

Sherlock's life was, messy after every chaotic event. He was alone. His life was scattered. Even though because of John and Rosy he was 'okayish' in his words. He was fine if you ask him. Because he didn't know what being really happy, really content, really living felt like. What it's like to truly be loved. Sherlock's life was a dark night, and his friends were the stars which kept his life a little lit.

Like any other day he was going through some case files and was waiting if lestrade brings a case. Until his flat's door creeked open. He went towards the door and looked out to see a young lady walking inside a little, she looked innocent and he found her... To his surprise, adorable? Was that the right word? He didn't know.

"Mr Sherlock Holmes?" She asked. He kept looking at her. His mind palace ran like a bullet train. Trying to deduce her, all he got was, she's new to London, was looking for a place to stay, maybe here to be his flatmate. His eyes softened, barely happened before, just having a feeling of affection for someone by laying eyes on them for the first time.

"Are you?" She said again impatiently. 'quirky' Sherlock thought. But then he got out of his mind palace and replied.

"Y-yes, sorry I was disturbed by a ... A case, you?" He asked. To this she introduced herself and said, "I'm y/n, I was looking for a flat, and most preferably shared, cause you know.. high price, I bumped into your landlady and she said I could stay here, but I just needed to talk to you."

She explained everything very clearly. No, never happened before, that Sherlock felt a sudden empathy and... What was it? Affection? Wanting to keep this young lady safe? What happened to him? He just nodded and said, "oh yeah sure, surely you can stay. I don't want a young lady like you to be bothered here in London at my presence."

She raised her eye a bit, hmmm... He seemed.. interesting. She looked around the flat and saw only junk, well his case files, a skull before a mirror. A bull head or something wearing a headphone? Bullet marks on wall over a yellow smiley.

Sherlock saw her baffled expression seeing the flat so he said, "I'm sorry, it's just, have been busy."

"No no it's actually pretty interesting. Never felt like this to the other flats I went to." She said.

"Like what?" He asked a little confused.

"I don't know, just feels my own" she said, but immediately regretted, ofcourse it isn't her. It's his flat, she hasn't been in yet. Sherlock would've been irritated with this answer if it was anyone else. But it was her, an adorable little person, innocence flashing like light, but the smile, that smile hid pain, he could see.

"Anyway miss" Sherlock said, "welcome" offering a handshake.

"Thank you, Mr Holmes it's..."

Sherlock interrupted her and said, "Sherlock please."

"Sherlock!" Said she looking into his eyes, "but You're... Okay then Sherlock". She wanted to say he's older than her and if it was okay or not. But if he insists. "May I see my room please?"

"Yes ofcourse" he took her to the room where previously John lived.

"Ah, I love it, where does Dr watson lives now though?" She asked.

"Oh with his daughter in their house" replied Sherlock "and um.. you know him?"

She giggled to this, wait did that make his lips curve into a smile too?

"Yes ofcourse, who doesn't know you two." Replied she.

"So.. you read his blogs too?" He asked. Being known to her fascinated him.

"Oh just one". She replied.

"And ? You liked it?" He asked.

"Well, not bad, I didn't read it focusing too much actually, I was so bored in lockdown so I read one."

'brutal honest' Sherlock thought, 'like me?'. Thoughts raced in his head, why and how this person seems so .. so known, familiar, similar.

"I see" he replied.

"But..." She answered, "now I can witness your intelligence from this close, it may be quite an adventure with you."

Sherlock smiled and nodded, "yes, an adventure indeed."

Then he went to living room and she started unpacking. He walked with a case file on hand, but he smiled, he doesn't feel alone anymore. He loves her being here with him, on the other hand, she unpacked her stuff and kept on mumbling to herself smiling, 'sherlock' 'sherlock?' 'mr Sherlock Holmes ' 'what an interesting man' . She came out and met his eyes, he holding his violin. Delightful sight. He smiled genuinely and so did she. So that's the start of a companionship. Maybe more than just friendship. Perhaps Sherlock found a moon to light his dark nights a bit more.

#sherlock holmes x reader #sherlock x y/n #sherlock x reader #bbc sherlock

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mihai-florescu · 6 months

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Hello there tumblr user Mihai-floresuco.

I would like to ask of thee which stories you’d recommend of fine? I do not like the unit but I would like to like them so perhaps a better understanding of the characters shall aid me in this quest, thank you in advance and have a truly lovely day.

Yours truly,

Secret mutual :3

I am going to assume you've read the war era reminis, you are familiar with ex fine, what and why things happened, and your question is regarding current fine. I will also hope you've read Daydream and Blackbird as they explain a lot about the moments right after the war, from Eichi and Wataru's perspectives. Plus Eichi calls Yuzuru sexy, never forget.

Now, let's see, from the beginning. Flower fes is the first story with fine as we know it (minus Eichi as he was in the hospital), it's about Tori and Yuzuru meeting Wataru for the first time (among other things. It's also a good look into the state of things in the beginning of the next year right after the war. There's a good bit with Valkyrie as well)

Then other early ! Era stories would be Circus (fine perform at a circus, the scene that stood out the most to me is that of Eichi and the lion) and Quarrel Fes (Eichi Keito showdown mostly, it's good for understanding Eichi better)

Then Milky Way (fine and valkyrie, personally i'm due a complete reread), Jingle Bells (the one where Tori's illusions of fine as a perfect savior unit that can do no wrong and that hasn't done wrong in the past start dissipating), EP:link......i assume that if you follow me you've read eplink, but if not, i will not spoil it. The last story before the change of eras and it deals partially with fine's future.

Then for other stories i recommend when you have time: Magnolia (the best bridal enstars story imo, focused on Tori working around the school to buy Eichi a brooch for a gift exchange event), Dance Floor (they go to the park and then do karaoke at the end...), Triumph of the Emperor (an old story where Tori takes lead to prepare for a future where Eichi wouldn't be in fine anymore. This is all before we or they knew we'll have !! Era where the units stay together), Summer Live (undead and fine. Very unfortunate a good story is overshadowed by orientalist cards)

From the !! Era... um. I think there are some good one off idol stories, like the one with the parfait i remember seeing a tl for, but i dont know the name of it (i suspect it's somewhere in tori or eichi's idol stories). The best fine story in !! imo is Tempest. I also recommend if you end up enjoying fine Fist of the shangri la idol. And Sanctuary.........i feel like you should only read it after you already like Eichi or you might not have the best time... If you want to read anything else go ahead, but I can't guide you (I was unsatisfied with Primavera, and haven't yet read Ghostic. I enjoyed the livetweets for Atlantis but you can't find a full tl of it anywhere yet afaik and I'm not gonna recommend the !! climax to someone who is just getting started with fine as a whole anyway)

I hope I haven't talked for too long... if you need ex fine recs too, i'd say Element first and foremost, Checkmate for Eichi & Tsumugi's early relationship, and Wonder Game. Oh and Altered Origins. It's still a fever dream of a story to me personally, i haven't fully wrapped my head around the fact that we are getting the remini animes and extra stories yet. I mean I have, but you know, it still feels a bit surreal.

If anyone feels like I forgot any important fine stories please add to the conversation. If you end up interested in Wataru and Eichi in particular I'd also recommend Diner Live, but it is not a fine story. I've heard Toyland is good for Tori (Yuzuru too?) but I haven't personally read it yet. If you want more Wataru and Tori interactions, Amusement Live has some good scenes, but it is not that much about them, the story's about Ra*bits and 2wink. A story i enjoyed of fine members shenanigans sans Wataru is Noble Game. We shall see when White Brim gets translated, I know it has some good bits with Tori&Eichi. Hm hm hm. That's all I can think of at the top of my head rn, but I think I've already said more than enough...

#ask #secret mutual anon

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annerbhp · 1 year

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Hi Annerb! Could you please explain this conversation between Ginny and Thompson in the Changeling?

“You don’t look scared of me,” she says dismissively, trying to get him to realize just how wrong he is.

His lips purse with something that looks almost like disappointment. “Then you aren’t looking carefully enough”

What does he mean by that? What exactly is he scared of? Is he talking about how intimidating he finds her reputation? Her power? Is he talking about her as a person? I just never got the impression that he was scared of her. Even in the team reunion at the pub, he is still affectionate towards her.

I’m also aware that this conversation gets referenced in ‘we can still be’ when Ginny and Harry have a little quiet time after Slughorn’s dinner, and Harry says that she’s only terrifying to people who don’t know her well but it just made me more confused. I feel like Thompson did see Ginny as someone separate from her IPs, like:

“Sometimes I forget […] How young you are.”

‘Thompson is still watching her face, shaking his head as if he can read her thoughts. “You just get too stuck in your head sometimes.”

Ah, interesting.

Yes, Thompson is scared of her. Like, not intimidated by her personas or whatever. But, like, objectively, she's pretty freaking fierce! At this point, she doesn't really see or understand her power, but Thompson does. He sees her strengths and her stubborness and her sheer refusal to give up. She really is like this whole person, who despite her internal doubts (thanks, imposter syndrome), really has her shit together and knows herself. It's just that she hasn't figured out yet that no one ever really has all the answers and that having doubts doesn't make her weak, it actually makes her strong. And he sees that too, because she's so much younger than him. There's just all sort of tangled interesting stuff going on there.

Though I think Thompson is most afraid of Ginny because of what he feels for her, and I think he's self-aware enough to at least suspect she doesn't really feel exactly the same for him. Not to mention she's younger than him and he kinda knows he has to take more care. Basically, she's a risk. He knows she is. And risks of that kind aren't really the kind of thing he would do normally. But he does it anyway because he likes her that much, or at least likes who he perceives her to be. So it's no surprise that he's scared.

#the changeling #ginny/thompson #sean thompson

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matan4il · 1 year

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Hello Alice,

it’s miya again :) I hope all has been well with you. I really loved your meta this week & it made me realize the reason I appreciate your analysis so much. You write about buddie but you write about them as buck AND eddie and not like they are one combined single unit. buck and eddie are their own people with different personalities and i think people forget that sometimes when it comes to talking about them together.

I love how the focus of your analysis was eddie and his clear childhood/adolescent trauma dealing with traditional parents who believe in only one way of doing things. I feel like people kinda missed that when talking about eddie & his performing. i know people interpreted the performing line as literal but it’s much deeper than that and you pointed that out very well. it all goes to show you we look at things through so many different lens but i love your focus point so much. you honestly make me want to get better at my own writing and analysis for this two lovers.

I wanted to ask you though on your thoughts about buck downplaying his brush with death. He never has explicitly said out loud “i died” & I do think that moments coming soon. I just found it interesting that everyone keeps reiterating that to him & i wonder if he’ll snap the next time someone says it. Buck has not processed or accepted that his trauma happened. him referring to him literally dying as “an accident on the job” breaks my heart cause you can tell he wants people to stop making a big deal of it, despite it being very serious. he is suppressing his trauma which i understand as someone with ptsd. anyways sorry for my rambling. buck is my favorite & character i connect to the most so i tend to babble a lot lol. hope you have a lovely rest of your day/evening/night whenever you see this ❤️

Miya, you darling! :D I'm always so happy to hear from you! I've had a very challenging week (which is not yet over... when you read this, I'll probably be recovering from another double shift), but the feedback on everything that I was most stressing out about has been amazing, so I'm exhausted, but very satisfied! How are you? Well, I hope!

Awww! Yes, that's exactly it! I think I even explained it in one of my earlier weekly meta posts, that I'll be writing about Buck, Eddie AND BuckandEddie. So I'm glad that's something you not only noticed, but also enjoy! ^u^ Thank you SO MUCH for the kind words! And I'm particularly please to learned you liked my POV on Eddie in my 614 meta. I know I've spoken to a very perceptive friend of mine back when... I think it was still s3 airing? Or possibly start of season 4, and despite how smart and insightful she is, she had missed the bit about Eddie's conversation with Bobby back in 217. So yeah, I think a lot of people might have? We all miss something, since 911 serves us with so much goodness. And I'm glad if in this case, this is something I can add to the table.

I fully agree with you, Buck is not really coping with what happened, given the fact that he's not yet said it out loud, and other characters have to remind him of it repeatedly. I also wondered this week if his PT scores being low is also a reflection of him still struggling with the lightning strike and how to recover from it. Because remember in 301, when he was coming back from the fire truck crushing his leg? He still aced his re-qualification exam. Even after he also suffered a pulmonary embolism during that very same period of time AND survived (and rescued others during) a tsunami, we never got any indication that his physical ability to bounce back had been diminished. So that suddenly changing? It could be a sign of the gravity of the matter, and how this is different, and Buck has to wrap his head around it, but because he hasn't yet, his full recovery is also stalling. I don't wanna get too much into spoilers, but based on the little that we do know about the finale, I feel like if this isn't addressed before the end of the season, then it should be in its very last ep. The themes seem like they would easily lend themselves to it, in any case. I hope that's what happens! If it also leads to some breakthrough with Eddie, one of them finally, finally ADMITTING what the other one means to them, I would be ecstatic, but I would absolutely take the win if we simply see Buck starting to actually face the trauma he had just been through.

Thank you again for your wonderful ask! I hope you're having a great day. As always, my ask tag. xoxox

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aspecpplarebeautiful · 1 year

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so like. this is going to be so rambly and i'm sorry. please skim lol i don't want to put you through all that. but i've been thinking i might be ace or prob gray ace for over two years. and i'm still convincing myself "it just hasn't happened yet you'll start feeling regular attraction someday." and like it's not that i haven't had a sexual awakening yet or whatever lmao i definitelyyy have. i'm an adult and i def experience like a sex drive and think about it lots lol it's just the attraction isn't really there and that's the part that would make me ace, like in theory i know that it's what makes the most sense.

but i think i have experienced genuine attraction ... like twice in my life. and i kept thinking 'when i go to college, i'll feel more attraction, i just don't like anyone at this school.' and i do feel occassional attraction in college now, i do feel it more here. i do regularly think people i walk past are attractive, but it's never anything real. it never lasts or anything. and i'm wondering if this is just how everyone feels, but it doesn't feel that way. i haven't had a legit crush that i didn't force in years. and when i feel this fleeting attraction like it doesn't feel like it could become something real. but i don't know if that experience of attraction is just what everyone feels or not.

like i always thought the thing that made me maybe ace was that i didn't find people hot based on appearnace walking past them. and now that's all i ever kind of feel and i never feel the deeper attraction i would very occassionally feel in the past. so i'm just so confused. and i feel like the amounts of atttraction i do feel would negate my aceness (even though i think i'd go with the label gray ace anyway and that's literally exactly what it's for lmao).

but the thing is like. i feel like i'm having an aspec life experience. like the little attraction i think i do feel doesn't negate the fact that more and more i'm starting to doubt whether i will find someone i am substantially attracted to long term who is also interested in me and so i don't think i will have a typical allo romantic/sexual life. and i don't even know if i would want sexual and/or romantic things if they actually started happening outside of my head.

and i'm wondering if i'm aro spec too. which logically. i know that if i am ace spec i am also aro spec because i don't think the two things are disentangled for me personally. and that scares me a lot and i think i just haven't wanted to admit it to myself. but then i also don't want to be wrong and i don't know what the attraction i do (think i) feel means. and i know almost every aspec person feels like this at least at first and i have to let go of it but i can't.

anyway i just think like. if i've been feeling this same way for over two years and i haven't been "proven wrong" yet. then like why am i still waiting to be "proven wrong." non aspec people usually know they are not aspec, don't they. they usually don't doubt it because the feelings are so obvious. and if i'm sitting here, two years later, still going "well i don't know maybe that WAS attraction." then like. i need to accept it.

but i don't know. i feel like if i am aspec, i'm a really weird aspec person lmao. like i feel way too obsessed with the idea of sex and romance to be aspec. even though logically i know that's very common and it's about real world attraction. and i think that's also why i'm so hesitant. because i don't want it to be true because i want to want all that so badly.

sorry for this being LONG. thank you for reading this, i actually don't know who to talk to about this. it feels so personal and hard to explain.

Yes, generally speaking experiencing attraction the way you do is different than how allo people usually experience it. Allo people generally experience attraction in a sustained way and the feelings are usually quite strong and noticeable even if they're not looking for them.

Aces on the other hand do sometimes experience attraction, but in a way that's fleeting, doesn't last long or feels weak. And you have outlined in this ask a lot of common reasons why people identify as ace and how it's experience based and often it can be based a lot in experiencing things differently than allo people do or are expected to.

I would definitely encourage you at this stage to at least explore asexuality and see if that would be a useful label for you. (Gray-asexuality is good too, but there isn't really a distinct line between the two, you can also use both labels at the same time if you want.)

For a lot of people romantic and sexual feelings/attraction are wrapped up with each other. But if you're not feeling ready to explore aromanticism yet, that's OK. And a lot of people who are both on the ace and aro spectrums will often figure one out then the other. Though of course you can look into both if you want to.

I disagree that these conflicting feelings you're having are something you just have to get over. Instead I'd say it's something that's better to work through. A lot of people have to work to accept being aro, it just takes time, but spending time in aro spaces, looking up aro media, and following aro blogs can all help.

Honestly nothing here is screaming 'not aspec' to me, even obsessing over romance and sex. Some aspec people think about both a lot and do like both in certain ways (but usually have some reason for identifying as ace or aro).

My advice at this stage anon would be just to explore. Follow ace and aro blogs, read up on ace and aro experiences. Check out media with ace and aro characters (there's especially a lot of book lists and podcasts out there with ace and aro characters, and easy to find rec lists, though I can share some too if you're having trouble.)

Places you may find interesting to check out:

Carnival of Aces and Carnival of Aros: These are both monthly blogging events according to a theme, and you can dig through their archives.

Arocalypse: An aro themed forum, they also have a really good faq.

A couple a-spec microlabels you may find interesting or want to look into (it's your choice if you feel like these may fit you or if you want to use them or not):

Caligosexual/caligoromantic: Sexual/romantic attraction that is very weak, vague, or almost nonexistent, like a vapor, fog, or mist.

Aegosexual/aegoromantic: someone who has things they find sexual/romantic, but doesn't want to be a participant themselves. Someone who feels a disconnect between themselves and the subjection of their arousal/romantic feelings.

And don't be afraid to take your time. This is all a lot. If you have more questions or want anything clarified, don't be afraid to send in more asks either.

All the best, Anon! Good luck!

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your-dose-of-obidala · 1 year

Text

Your Dose Of Obidala - NTWFL

I decided to finally post the Force manipulated Padmé fic. Thanks for the inspiration to @omg-hellgirl and sorry for taking it into a place you didn't really want. But the story just wanted to go there.

Please don't read if you are triggered by dub-con/non-con, depersonalization, maladaptive dreaming, bad coping mechanisms, gaslighting or dark!Anakin/Anakin bashing.

I would be really interested in hearing what everyone thinks about this one. Even if it's criticism or negative feedback.

You don't know what it is but being in Anakin's proximity feels like taking a step back. Like having someone guide you through a crowd, with a hand on the small of your back. Bringing you somewhere you never wanted to go. You never even thought of going.

It does feel gentle. In the beginning. As long as you don't think about it.

But if you would be able to think about it more you would find that it's not a good thing.

What you don't know is that it is not only Anakin. When everything is over you realize there was a subtler power manipulating you. Obi-Wan says it's a Sith Lord that pushed you in the direction they wanted you to go.

Still, after everything you think that it wasn't Anakin's initial intention to hurt you. You believe he loves you, even if his love is like glowing embers.

You want to believe that it started innocently enough, that he wanted to be near you. A hand steering you, shielding you even. Anakin is not a monster.

Merely a frightened child.

You are not sure how Obi-Wan noticed.

Is it obvious for a Jedi when someone else uses the force? Is it detectable? Even easy to see? Is it like a beacon? An aura that no one else sees?

You want to ask him, but you are afraid. Even of him.

Not him as a person, but him as a Jedi.

"Are you sure you want me here, Padmé?" he asks you, voice soft, a deep frown etched in between his brows.

You look back down at your folded hands.

Are you sure? Can you be sure?

You keep having nightmares.

You see him in the darkness, illuminated against the skyline of Coruscant. He is beautiful in the way that only dark things are. Rain storms and thunder and the vast blackness of space. Sometimes you think it wouldn't have been a hardship to fall in love with him. There is an allure to his otherness, the dangerous air around him.

You think you were attracted to him. Dangerous things appeal to you by nature. Maybe it would've ended like this anyway? Maybe Anakin just helped destiny along?

But now he haunts you like a ghost. You see him when you don't want to, see him in a crowd, see him when you're alone.

Obi-Wan says that it's to be expected. He tells you to talk to a Jedi healer. But you don't want to. You are wary of the Jedi and their powers. And even though you see the hurt in Obi-Wan's tired eyes, he knows and understands.

He repeats, "It is to be expected."

For every nightmare, you create a daydream.

A world in which not Anakin went with you to Naboo, but Obi-Wan. It's such a simple way to change the narrative. It makes you a bit dizzy the first time as if someone could look inside your head and see the silly little thing you have created and take it away.

But of course, the only person who could do this is dead.

So you cradle your little dream to your chest and spin your very own tale. One in which the Senator goes to Naboo and falls in love with the handsome older Jedi knight.

Even the young padawan gets his moment of glory and finds out about the clone army. They find out about the Sith Lord and end a war that hasn't even begun yet.

All of them will be happy.

What a pretty tale.

In the beginning, when your stomach is still flat you don't remember anything. Obi-Wan says that it is because you experienced great trauma and your memories will come back after some time.

"It seems like they had to use more and more force to manipulate you. You are very strong, Padmé."

It is meant as a compliment, but it doesn't feel like it. You feel like before you fall: Teetering on the edge, gravity pulling your body down yet still standing. But for how long?

It is meant as a compliment, but it feels like a sharp-edged thing, cutting you easily. Because you didn't break free, you didn't come out of it.

What says this about you?

You remember Anakin saying that only weak-minded people can be manipulated.

You start to show at around the third month. You take a pregnancy test because Dormé tells you to. She looks so worried, the creases between her eyebrows and the downturn of her mouth will be etched in there indefinitely soon.

You are pregnant.

You don't remember how it happened.

You start wrecking your brain about when this happened but you cannot remember.

Do you want to remember? the voice in your head asks you.

You sit in front of the mirror and stare at your hands framing your belly. There is some anger, but it feels like when you hear someone calling you from another room. Distant and indistinctive. It's coming from someone beyond the mirror.

You sit there and stare, not comprehending.

I am pregnant, you think, numb. I have to tell Obi-Wan.

In your dreams, you are not pregnant.

In your dreams, you enjoy the countryside of Naboo. You entice Obi-Wan to go skinnydipping with you and he blushes down to his sternum. It's the most beautiful sight and you have to hide your face in your hands to contain the emotions you experience.

In your dreams, you stay longer and longer at the lake district. Every time you raise the question of having to go back Obi-Wan kisses your hands and tells you to enjoy it while it lasts.

You think this is sound advice. You know that nothing will come of it.

Even Dream Padmé knows that your little affair will not survive after returning to Coruscant. But she forgets because you want her to.

Your feelings will wilt like a flower in the grey metal landscape of the inner world. There is nothing there to sustain it.

Each day there are more memories coming back. Not all of them. You guess you will never fully recover your memory, and in a way, this feels merciful. Still, there are enough of them that do come back. Like driftwood on a shore, they get thrown out by the deep.

You get used to seeing Anakin standing by the balcony as if he belongs there. His broad back is naked under the setting sun. He is a presence that calms your agitated mind by pulling you under, like anesthesia. You are so used to this feeling that you crave it, like a drug.

You remember calling him over comm, telling him about feeling strange, helpless, and doubting, knowing that the moment he would be able to touch you, you would be calm again.

There is a part in you that always knew and you welcomed oblivion. Being weak like this was easy.

(You are not strong. You are unbearably weak.)

In your memory, Anakin looks over the city, over and over again. But there are moments before you fall asleep when he turns around and focuses his gaze on you. You know what will happen. His gaze will lock with yours and you will feel pinned like there is a great fist tightening around you.

His attention is heavy and hot, glowing embers that will burn you.

Your limbs feel weightless, you still see and hear things but they are far, far away. Every touch is happening to a different person, another Padmé. The Padmé that loves Anakin.

There are hands undressing you and when you look down you realize those are your hands, your fingers but it is not you who makes them move. It feels surreal. A bit like touching a limb that has fallen asleep.

You know it's useless to struggle, you tried it several times. It never ends well. There will be headaches or even migraines and you will be nauseated, sick even. So you get used to it... It's like that moment when you sink into a too-hot bath and you're body is protesting but you don't want to get out of the water so you lay back and bear it until the pain stops and you get numb.

Here, you wake up.

It never goes further than this.

But even with the fact that you will not remember the act itself, your body still bears the consequences.

Today you felt the babies move for the first time.

The thing that is scaring you is that you don't feel anything towards the children that grow inside of you. You see your body getting fat and ugly, and feel the bone-deep tiredness and the ever-present hunger but the thought of bringing home twins in a few months is far away.

Your doctor says that all of this is normal and that your love will grow. But you are not sure.

How will love grow? And where? In the wasteland of your emotions, in the vast emptiness of your inner self? There is a disconnect since Obi-Wan freed you from Anakin's mental prison. Your feelings are sluggish and small.

There won't be any love.

But you have arms to hold them and you can rock them to sleep and soothe their hurts.

It will be enough for now.

"Milady." Dormé's hands are gentle while she brushes your hair. How long are you sitting here? How long is she already brushing your hair?

Were you dreaming? You must have been.

"Milady, you cannot continue like this."

You turn around to look at her.

"What do you mean?"

"You are... Absent. All the time. Dreaming. I am worried about you. You are neglecting yourself. I--"

"You are dismissed, Dormé." You rise from the bench. "Your concern is noted and appreciated, but misplaced."

Dormé falls quiet, her face scrunched up. Her gaze is wavering under your own. Even now you are the one being deferred to.

"I may have overstepped but I talked to Jedi Kenobi about it."

You try to stay calm when you answer her: "Yes, you did overstep."

"I am worried about you, Padmé."

You turn your back to her, showing instead of telling her again that she is dismissed.

You feel her presence there on the threshold for a long moment, before she leaves you alone.

This time you stay present in the now, just to show yourself that you can. The thing is that your present is grey and your mind is used to painting more vivid colors.

"How do you feel?" Obi-Wan always asks when he visits you.

"Good enough."

He nods and looks away.

Are you so repugnant that he cannot even look at you anymore? You wouldn't know, you don't look at yourself in the mirror. Dormé helps you dress in the morning, fusses over you and curls your hair, and applies your make-up.

You ignore your size and the way you have to accommodate to move because of the size of your belly. This, too, belongs to the other Padmé. Just like everything that happened in those blurry almost-memories.

You will care for the children, of course. You are a responsible woman. If something like this would've happened to Sabé or Dormé you would care for their offspring. So, of course, you are going to care for those children as well, but in a distant way. Like a monarch does for her subjects. Detached, yet wise. Objective, yet firm.

"What will you name them?" He asks you and your gaze snaps up. Your eyes lock.

You haven't thought about names. Somehow thinking, it isn't your place to name them. (Shouldn't their mother do that?)

"Padmé..." he starts after a long moment of studying you.

It's strange, his gaze doesn't feel alien or pressing. Only calm. There is no judgment there. It is as if he too is an observer, watching things happen and letting them be.

You envy him because of it. Your detachment is a forced thing. His is real.

"How do you do that?" you ask and you see that he doesn't understand what you're asking of him. "How do you... accept things so easily?"

His eyes narrow and his gaze turns scrutinizing.

"It's part of being a Jedi."

You let out an unladylike snort.

"Did you forget to teach Anakin this lesson?" There is a moment where you see hurt on his features, but even that passes. "Anakin never accepted anything. He either took things he wanted or made them happen. Either way, there was no accepting, no letting go of emotions."

"I failed him."

You shake your head because it's not that simple. You remember that acceptance can turn into complacency easily.

"Telling yourself you failed him, absolves him of too much of the blame. Telling myself that he is a child, that got wronged instead of a rapist, absolves him of too much of the blame. That is the problem with Anakin, there were too many exceptions made for him."

Your voice sounds awfully bitter and on the verge of breaking. There are tears in your eyes, everything gets blurry and unfocused. Obi-Wan is awfully pale under his beard and you have the ridiculous urge to comfort him.

"I am so sorry." The words aren't more than a breath.

You swallow and voice those hidden thoughts you harbored for far too long.

"I wish..." the words get stuck in your throat. Once you say them you won't be able to take them back. Once you voice those ridiculous little dreams they will crumble under the weight of reality.

You know that you must tell him though. Tell him so you can face what is right in front of you and not hide in a fantasy world anymore. You have hidden for the longest time. It is time to face the truth.

You hold his gaze and force the words past your throat.

"I wish... Sometimes when I can't sleep because I keep seeing things I don't want to see... I lay in the dark and imagine you would've escorted me. I wish you would've come with me to Naboo. I wanted you to. When we first talked about it I had hoped..."

You shake your head and look past him.

"I wish I would've been more forceful and demanded you to come with me. Silly, isn't it? Using your imagination to play with your memories as if you're playing with dolls."

You ball your fists in your lap.

Obi-Wan's eyes are still on you. And even though he is right there you feel as if you're on different sides of the universe. Nothing will ever make you connect. You are two lines running parallel to each other. You can see each other but never know each other. You are deeply aware of him and the sorrow you can discern in his eyes but you will never truly know him. He will never know you.

You are alone in your misery.

"That's what Anakin did to me. Play with me. I was nothing more than a doll. A loved one, yes. But still, a doll to dress and undress. To tell him everything he wanted to hear.

"And living in my head is easier than facing the truth. I don't want to be that person anymore. But I don't know who I am. I feel like he has worn me down and now I am gone."

Maybe you imprinted on Obi-Wan because he freed you of Anakin, maybe because you had a crush on him once, maybe because he is handsome and unattainable and safe. Who knows? Who the kriff knows? Not you. You just feel lost and hopeless. It feels like you woke up from a dream and you realize that he is not the one you made him out to be.

He is somehow worse and better all at once.

You realize that you are standing and staring at him with your fists clenched at your side and your voice has gotten louder. You step back, silenced. His gaze follows you.

What does he see? Who is this woman standing in front of him?

You mumble an apology and step back, but he is right there in the blink of an eye, touching your arm.

Nothing but a gentle touch that halts everything indefinitely.

You both freeze in your position, awkward and anxious.

Finally, he lets his hand sink, his gaze is stuck on it. He doesn't make eye contact.

"You are still yourself. Anakin forced you, but he could never alter you."

You make a sound that is supposed to show disbelief and amusement, but it is very close to a sob.

His eyes are back on your face. He struggles for a moment and forms words that don't come out. Finally, he settles on this:

"Just know... Just know that you are not the only one regretting how things have turned out. Maybe it will help you to know that I did contemplate the possibility of escorting you."

Your stomach plummets and there is a part of you that knows you should take this and accept it.

You do notice the way he seems to silently beg you to not ask any further questions. But you are a politician. And you smell a hole in the story.

It's amazing that even after you feel blunted like an old knife that this instinct is still there. You go with it. It's you. And there is not a lot of you left these days.

"What made you decide against it?" It's only a whisper. But he hears you.

Is he disappointed in you? You can hardly tell, the microexpression on his face is hidden quickly under the eyes of the master Jedi.

"I believed myself to be too partial. Jumping out of that window showed me that I was already compromised."

It's such a strange way of saying that he felt things that he wasn't supposed to be feeling.

You only notice that your vision is getting blurry when you feel the wetness slide down your cheeks. You blink and look down, to hide your reaction. There is a twitch at his side and you think it could be him, suppressing the notion to wipe away your tears.

"I failed both of you," he says softly. It hits you that it's not complacent you hear in his voice, it's sorrow.

You look at his face, his greying temples, and the lines around his eyes. You feel freed and weighted down all at once. You want to laugh and cry.

The universe, you think, is ugly and mean.

If you would've been a bit more demanding...

If Obi-Wan would have just one moment of weakness...

If, if, if.

Here is reality; you and your misery, hand in hand. Even if you will never remember what happened, it still happened. And it happened to you. Yes, you, Padmé. And not a stand-in. Not another person.

It was your body and your mind. It was taken, inhabited, and worn like a glove. It's a violation and you knew it all along.

You are left with a deep mistrust in the feelings that remain.

It is safer to dwell in dreams than, in fantasy.

There is a glimmer of hope that maybe your fantasy can live on. That there is a place inside the both of you that holds a version of you falling in love with each other. It's a thought like a balm, easing a throbbing pain.

But it can only hold the bitterness at bay for a moment. Because right now it feels like the dream ended. And it's slipping through your fingers. Everyone knows that feeling.

Dreams have to fade in the light of day.

Pulling them out into the open somehow lessens them, and makes them threadbare.

You remember writing stories as a child, painting pictures to go along with them, and putting them under your bed. In your mind, they were vivid and full of life. Years later, in the eyes of a grown-up, they seem sparse and grey and lacking.

Here is the same feeling: Half disappointment, half sadness. Oh, and regret.

The fantasy crumbles between you, worn and brittle. It never happened. It never will.

This is the real tragedy.

Well, at least it helped you survive.

In the end, Obi-Wan takes your hand and you let him.

This could be the beginning.

#obidala #obi wan x padme #open ending #angst #heed the warnings

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butimnotasexyrussian · 2 months

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1, 2, 7, 13, 18, 27, and 30. :D

So it turns out that I can only access my inbox from mobile because when I log in through desktop, Tumblr still says I have no asks, which is so fucking annoying but we're making do.

Anyway.

From the unique writing asks post:

1. What themes would you like to write about that you feel don't get explored very often?

I think it's the nature of fanfic that most people that stumble across stuff I've written are looking for romantic pairings, which is great because if I've written for them, it means their dynamic makes me want to chew concrete and I love being able to share that with readers! But as someone on the ace/aro spectrum (we're still figuring this out), I think it would be really interesting to explore themes of asexuality and/or aromanticism through characters in a respectful and meaningful way. I don't think I'm at the point in my personal development where I can do that quite yet, but I'd love to some day.

2. What are some common elements of stories you are tired of seeing? What would you avoid writing about?

This one's a tough one because I'm genuinely pretty open to whatever. Like whenever I'm like, hmm don't think I like that, something will come up and inevitably prove me wrong. I didn't think I'd ever be into cheating, but then there's like every canon Roisa fic ever. Also Rose being Luisa's stepmother is still weird but hasn't stopped me.

Oh, one trope I do hate though is magic babies. I spend most of my time in wlw fics and while I'm fine with adoption fics, I hate it when someone in a wlw couple magically ends up pregnant and everyone's weirdly happy about this and no one is freaking out about it. It just doesn't do it for me. It's a huge commitment and the fact that a biological baby is like the "next step" to fulfillment in their relationship and doesn't strain it at all is so icky to me.

7. Favorite description in your wip?

I am literally so bad at descriptions but please enjoy this brief excerpt from my gap princess diaries 2 au I haven't updated in a year lol.

Mon fidgets for a bit before Sam takes off her suit coat and drapes it around her shoulders.

"Oh," Mon says. Sam's wearing suspenders and that distracts her. It takes her a while to remember to say, "Thank you."

"You looked cold."

She was not cold. It's actually a pretty mild night. Mon does not mention this as she pulls the coat tighter around herself. It smells fresh, vaguely like saltwater air.

13. What traits do you share with your original characters or what traits do you wish you shared with them?

I think whenever I do end up writing original characters, they're always like plucky sidekicks who are only there to give the protagonists a kick in the ass. I'd like to be able to not overthink as much and just see the situation clearly and tell it to people as bluntly as my OC's seem to.

18. What writers have inspired you with their use of language? What are some of your favorite quotes?

It's been so long since I've read anything so my mind is blanking right now, but I'm always amazed by how much feeling poets can put into their words. I remember sobbing throughout Ocean Vuong's On Earth We're Briefly Gorgeous. The older I get, the more I identify with everything Mary Oliver has written ever. My mentally ill boy Kafka is always a mood. I wish I could remember anything any of these people have ever written but I have nothing but dryer fluff in my head. I'm sorry.

27. Do you have playlists for your wip? What are some of the songs in it?

Sorry, I usually don't have playlists for writing! I should actually start though because it has gotten me over writer's block a couple times, but for the most part, I just play whatever song I'm currently obsessed with. My ADHD means that I tune the lyrics out and I'm just vibing with the beat, although if I loop a song enough times while writing, every time I hear that song afterwards, I'll always associate it with the process of writing that fic, which is pretty cool. I don't think I've written anything over the past twelve months, but my current song on repeat is Animal by VEAUX if you wanna check it out!

30. What is some of the best writing advice you've read or received? Why does it work for you?

The thing about advice for me is that I'm always seeking it out and hoarding it like wow, I bet this would work for me and then...not doing anything to implement it. One thing I did end up using though, is from a Tumblr post that was like, "order everything in your sentences the way a movie scene would play out so the emotional punch comes at the end, like she came into the kitchen, saw the creeping puddle of blood, and discovered her brother's body." I'm paraphrasing obviously because no one can find anything on this hellsite, but this really made me realize that I kinda just threw everything together and hoped it made sense (once again, probably due a little bit to the ADHD). I'm not sure if anyone's even noticed, but I like to think it's made my writing a bit more coherent and easier to follow.

Thanks for asking! I'm love you!

#aparticularbandit #ask games

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kae-karo · 10 months

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Hey kae, just wanted to drop by to say I really love your fics! The characters always feel so in character, and I love the various ways you describe things. I was wondering if you had any general tips for writing for beginners? And any tips for writing characters that feel in character? Thank you so much, and have an amazing day!

AWE hi dear this is so sweet omg ????? 🥺🥺🥺 i'm so so glad u feel that way !!! this got long so uhhhhhh most of it'll be below the cut lmao

honestly i think my biggest overall writing tip (both for beginners and anyone, really lmao) is to follow inspiration and just write. write the scene you can't get out of your head, write the thing some song lyric inspired, write the silly situation or dialogue that some meme made you think of, write the heart-shattering angst that spilled out from a 'what if' scenario, just write anything that you're inspired to write. don't worry about the quality of it, just get it down somewhere

fr that's the most critical part of writing, so like. first and foremost, just write. i mean it's the most memed one too, like every other writing meme is abt blank gdocs and managing to get down three whole words and whatever, but like. that's the biggest hurdle tbh? everything else can come after

and in the after part is where u can focus on improving the """quality""" (quotes bc quality is subjective !!!!!!) honestly this is a twofold thing, cause honing both writing and editing skills takes time and that's okay, but as with a lot of creative crafts, it helps to seek out what you enjoy - the authors who write with metaphors you really like, or who describe scenes or characters or clothing or whatever it is in ways that really appeal to you, the ones who write the most interesting or fun or heart-wrenching dialogue, the ones with worldbuilding that feels so seamless or intriguing, the ones that know how to build suspense or craft a really compelling character/relationship arc, whatever it is, work on honing your senses to seek out those specific things in those fics! how are those authors doing it? what word choice or sentence structure or narrative closeness to or distance from the character's point of view gives the perspective you prefer? how are they foreshadowing, if at all? what methods are they using to create the emotions or feeling that you notice?

and honestly figuring a lot of that stuff out takes time and it takes reading!!! which like. probably as a writer you're doing anyway!!! but doing it with some focus and going from 'oh shit i loved that story' to 'oh shit i loved [these specific aspects of it]' to 'oh shit, this is the WAY they did those things i liked, maybe i can try them sometime' is really powerful when it comes to building your writing wheelhouse and shepherding it toward writing you personally enjoy. and i mean this very seriously, look for what you personally enjoy. not everyone is gonna appeal to you, and even some of the 'best' writers are not going to do things in ways that you personally like!!! please don't strive to write in ways you don't like just cause someone else thinks they're great!! there are some incredible writers out there that i just personally don't vibe with their writing style and i don't want to write like them!!! but that doesn't mean they're not good, it just means they aren't for me personally! (and on a side note, knowing what you dislike is also helpful and can point you away from writing tactics or methods that u don't enjoy)

i'll also add that what's probably tricky (as it is for a lot of creative endeavors) is the 'i'm not where i want to be yet' feeling - you know what you want, you know what you're going for, and you feel like your writing hasn't hit that point yet. and this is the hardest piece of advice to take and to do, but like. you gotta just write it anyway lmao. like you have to get comfortable with going 'this isn't what i want it to be yet but i'm going to write it and i'm going to be proud of what i've done even if it isn't perfect'. and maybe that includes posting if you're planning to post stuff !!!! post the stuff that isn't perfect !!!!! i'm so so serious about this btw like. get comfortable with writing stuff (and posting it) if it's not perfect. this is critical. it will never Be perfect but that's not the point the point is to have fun while you're doing it and work on guiding yourself toward writing you enjoy even more as you go

cause like (and this ties back to my point about seeking out things you enjoy while reading and analyzing how they're accomplished by other writers) the more you enjoy what you're doing, the better it will be. this is just. like. a genuine and sincere fact, if you are having a good time with it, it'll be fun to read. so aim for that feeling and you'll be in a good place, i promise

as for writing characters more 'in-character'! i'd say this has two key parts, the first half is just dipping a toe into their canon dialogue, canon experiences, interactions, etc. having a good general sense of their character can help pave the way for the 'in-character' feeling!! if it's helpful for you, it can be nice to put some thought into a brief summary of the character in question - i'll use kaeya as an example, i often focus on his tendency for keeping his cards close to his chest, the internal battle with honesty and revealing anything personal, and his outwardly carefree attitude as some key goalposts when i'm writing. and sometimes there are others that are more relevant to specific stories i'm working on, or some of the goalposts can change or be less significant to a story, but i generally aim for having a few key markers that allow me to set up the second half of the 'in-character'-ness

the second half then being motivation - basically, once i have my character staked out, i want to figure out how their motivation in this particular story fits within those goalposts. and sometimes it doesn't completely fit, or the goalposts it fits in are different from what i originally was considering! or there's some aspects that get a little less important based on the motivation in a specific story! but the key i think to really making a character feel 'in-character' is consistency - do their motivations make sense for how they're being portrayed? cause at the end of the day (and some people may feel slightly different about this but i think it's a good rule of thumb if 'in-character'-ness is a concern) there's never going to be a perfectly in-character character, right, like the whole point of fic is that you're putting them in New situations that didn't happen in canon lmao. but if you can convince me that the character, with their motivation influenced by these key goalposts of their characterization, would do or act or think a certain way, that is what truly makes a character feel 'in-character'

and the way this manifests would be something like, a couple really straightforward examples:

kaeya choosing to hide a wound from the knights because he doesn't want jean or lisa or anyone butting into his shadier interactions because they might get hurt, and he can handle himself (playing on his evident care for others in spite of his cool attitude, his typical carefree facade, and his desperate self-reliance)

kaeya threatening someone for scaring klee (leaning into his darker and possibly dangerous side as well as his protective nature, especially toward klee)

kaeya battling with some fallout of his khaenri'ahn ancestry coming to light (playing on his facade and its possible fragility, his uncertain relationship with his past/his family, and his history with diluc the night of their fight)

ANYWAY all of that to say that motivation based in key points of a characterization can be extremely effective in convincingly painting a character as 'in-character'

also in a broader sense, and depending on how 'close' to a character's perspective you want to be (i'll just add that i prefer to be as close to a character as possible, so if you're more a fan of writing omnisciently, this might not be as helpful!!) it helps to think about how a character might think or speak in a broader sense beyond just exact dialogue/etc?

like, a good extreme example would be zhongli - he tends to speak with a more archaic or formal vernacular, especially when compared to childe, for example. depending on the scenario, childe might use some more formal vocabulary (ie around the tsaritsa), but it doesn't seem as likely that his internal monologue would feel super formal

another extreme would be writing from a kid's pov! they aren't likely to use huge words or complex sentence structure (take a look at klee's canon dialogue from the event!) and their metaphors/analogies might be a little different from an adult's or a teen's

all of that really just helps put the cherry on top of a convincing characterization though! i personally don't find it particularly offputting to a characterization if the internal dialogue is a little different from what i personally would imagine or assume lmao

PHEW okay all of that said i will do my lil tl;dr which is:

WRITE oh my god write!!!! follow your inspiration and put words down somewhere!! do this as much as you feel inspired to do so!!! (and take breaks!!)

HAVE FUN do whatever u gotta do to make it an enjoyable time!

READ stuff from writers you enjoy, and practice picking out the things that seem to contribute to what you enjoy

BE CONVINCING with consistency between a character's motivations and the things you're painting as key parts of their characterization in a story. 'convincing' beats 'perfect' characterization every time i promise

HAVE FUN seriously i'm saying it twice cause it's so important if you're writing and it doesn't feel fun, take a step back and consider what about it would make it more fun. then do that instead!!

tyty for the ask dear and i hope this helps!! <3

#ask #anon #writing advice #writing

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sohcah-toa · 2 years

Text

Teyvat Blossoms - a series ❀

Teyvat Blossoms [click for the main masterlist]

Chapter 7: Pages always turn

cw — sfw, fluff, hangout with friend albedo

tip or donate at ko-fi

A few weeks later.

"No news on when the event should be from the officials" You sigh walking up to the library. It was so quiet there that you forgot it existed because of all the others things running in your mind.

In the library you see Albedo, reading while drinking something. You walk up to him "Albedo, you're here?!"

He nodded with a smile "Y/n. Long time no see"

You sit next to him "How are you? But of course if I'm bothering you from reading tell me"

He closed his book "No such thing as a bother. I'm doing well these days. How about you? Is something the matter? You kind of looked bothered"

You were surprised, you had no idea it showed on your face too much "I don't want to lie but yes"

"Do tell, if you're comfortable" He said, sipping on his drink.

You sigh "I don't know. My self control is ... so bad" you mutter, thinking of everything that happened these last months. Albedo just looked at you, waiting for you to finish before giving his thoughts "I don't know what's wrong with me. The same thing keeps happening over and over again and I have no control over it.. I mean, that's a lie I do have control over it but I let it happen"

Albedo nodded "I see.." he took a sip before continuing "Then maybe you like it?"

Your eyes widen, heat spreading on your face "I—" you were speechless, do you like it?

You answer "Honestly.. I think I do.. but it's — so wrong" you sigh, feeling nervous "I let it happen and ignore that it happened afterwards. I'm so bad..."

"Whether you like it or not, pages always turn. Something is bound to happen .. of course eventually, even if you ignore it, even if you don't do something about it. But I prefer being in control of what's going to happen because I think if I don't control it I'll get hurt or things will get out of hand. That's just me though" He said, sipping on his drink, Albedo was your classmate back then, you're pretty close, going on trips when you were young before you even met Zhongli and Xiao.

He was right. What if things get out of control? You try and think but you couldn't. Once again.. you chose to ignore it, hoping that this would be the last time you ignore it.

You sigh "A-Anyway .. what's up with you? What are you doing here? I heard you were going on expeditions"

"I'll stay here for a while because of Teyvat Blossoms plus I heard you worked here" He smiled, waving his book, it was all about Teyvat flowers "I just arrived this morning"

"Great!! Everything's almost done and I do hope you enjoy it. My staff and I worked hard on everything!" You suddenly got excited "There's even a romantic spot for couples. Surprisingly, one of my staff thought that" you remember Childe forcing you to include it.

"Oh. That'll be fantastic" Albedo was even more interested all of a sudden "I'll take someone there"

You were taken aback "Albedo, you sly dog! You have a girlfriend?!"

"I don't" He said "I just have someone in mind"

You smile, almost creepily "Ooooh Albedo, you! Such a romanticist"

Albedo blushed "It's just — aah" he finally broke down and covered his face because of embarrassment. He can be really serious but at the same time he can be cute. You always have fun teasing him because he's so easily swayed.

You laugh "Alright, sorry I'll stop now. Do you want to hang out for a while? Catch up and eat? Have you eaten? My treat" this is how it usually goes between the two of you.

He chuckles a little and stood up "Lead the way"

You take him to Childe in the kitchen, not surprised that Kaeya was there.

"Your special please! This is one person who hasn't tried your special yet" You yell at him, he basically shoves his 'special' dish to anyone who hasn't tried it yet.

Childe ran up to you "This guy?! You have to try it. I'll be right back!" he then ran back to cook.

"Oh boy. Not this again" Kaeya sighed, Albedo shot him a worried look, Kaeya shrugged and said "Don't worry, it's not poisonous or something"

Albedo gulped, somehow he was even more nervous after Kaeya said that "F-Fine" he sighed.

You slap his back gently "Don't mind Kaeya, the special is really good it just has a really funny name"

"It's annoying when you've heard it a million times" Kaeya laughed, playing his game as usual.

A few minutes later..

"TARTaglia, ready to eat" Childe laughed so hard while Kaeya was annoyed. Albedo chuckled, finally getting what it all means after you and Kaeya explained it to him.

You and Albedo along with Childe and Kaeya had a fun time while eating. You decided to take Albedo way up where the view is amazing.

"It's amazing in here" Albedo said, observing all the things he could see but never reach "Bittersweet isn't it?" he asked, looking at you intently.

You feel nervous all of a sudden "What is?"

Albedo sighed "Looking at something you know you can never reach" still he was looking at you.

You laugh nervously "Albedo, do you have something you can't tell me?"

"Nothing. Just the thought of it, right?" Then he turned his gaze towards the mountains once again "It makes me feel blue and yet I still look at it"

❀

You were alone once more in your office, thinking of all the things Albedo told you. He was right, even the bittersweet part.

"What do I want?" You ask yourself. Still feeling antsy about everything. You heard a knock, your heart almost jumped out of your chest "C-Come in!"

Albedo walked in carrying his book "Can I— read here?"

Your eyes were wide but you nodded "Sure?"

"I figured you might be still thinking about the stuff you told me earlier" He said, sitting down and opening his book "Even if you are, I'm here to accompany you. If you don't mind?"

You blushed and nodded like a fool "N-Not at all"

The whole day was quiet, with Albedo reading his book and you working on files while thinking of other stuff.

Sometimes, Albedo would look at you and he was sure that you were having a hard time. Albedo isn't really reading his book, he was there to brainstorm ways on how to help you ..

And he has the perfect idea.

To be Continued ❀

ppl who asked to be tagged: @stygianoir @yay-its-tj @atsukawolfcat @e7t3 @dainsleif-when-playable @nookiesposts @emperatris-rinaka

#teyvat-blossoms❀#genshin impact #genshin x reader #genshin #genshin impact x reader #albedo fluff #genshin fluff #albedo x you #genshin albedo #genshin impact albedo #albedo x reader #albedo

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mineonmain · 2 years

Text

KINNPORSCHE EP 11 (Spoilers, duh)

gawd I know I'm so late but life happens. It's literally like 12 hours before the next ep drops, but better late than never right? anyways here's my usual recap of highlights from the ep, random shit that stood out to me:

Kinnporsche: ok fine. tooth-rotting sweetness. almost too much for me to watch at times. both of them admitting to each other's families (EEEEEEEE) that they love each other. floating hearts everywhere. So lost in themselves that they seem to have forgotten mafia duties, big brother duties, friend duties, or literally any other duties other than getting their dicks wet. To think we haven't gotten the pool scene OR the 'i'm on your side' scene yet...fear.jpg

Kimchay: Kim you are so close to being on my shit list. I've said it before, but the only reason you're on thin ice but not in the sub-arctic waters is because I love Jeff. The thing is, I'm sure that Kim said that to protect (??) Chay from whatever shenanigans he's up to, but he better start resolving it soon. It's been there as a B plot/C plot since the early episodes, but it hasn't really progressed, and also it hasn't been made clear to the audience why we should care about whatever he's investigating. What impact does it have on our protagonists, other than the fact that it involves the Kittisawat parents? Also, we haven't seen much from Kim's POV so far, we need to see that there's a private side to him that isn't his cold facade, that he cares for Chay and struggled with his decision to let him go. (People who have read the books, this is not an invitation to slide into my DMs and explain, this is me critiquing the show's writing and storytelling technique, i'm not asking anyone to explain the actual plot to me lmao)

VegasPete: Oh boy oh boy oh boy. Vegas' sadistic side was probably born out of him needing a release from the violence his father inflicted upon him, him needing an outlet for all that pain. Understandably, he wanted someone else to feel the pain that he felt. In a way, every time Vegas has tortured someone, it was him calling out to the universe begging to be seen, to be heard, to be understood. He obviously didn't know this himself, how would he. He's suppressed any part of him that involves self-reflection, except the awareness that he's Fucked Up. His entire personality is a combination of Please Dad, Protect Macau, Piss Off Kinn, and Fuck the World Up. What I find so interesting, is the parallel between Porsche and Pete. They are both beacons of light in a world that's perpetually shrouded in darkness, and they are both bright sparks despite the shit they've both been through, making them ideal partners for Kinn/Vegas. They can help them out of the darkness without being idealistic, because they can understand what they other's been through. Vegas wanted to be seen, and Pete saw him, and saw right through him. Vegas tried to break him down the way his father has constantly broken him, but Pete broke through Vegas' walls instead. Vegas realises this, and knowing that in turn sees Pete properly for the first time. Not as Porsche's shadow, not as just another (head) bodyguard for the major family. And after their first real conversation, Vegas is going to go through a paradigm shift - it's already started, in fact. In his mind, Pete is elevating himself from the position of prisoner to someone on an equal level with Vegas mentally, and consequently Vegas is going to want to do things to Pete not because he likes seeing Pete in pain, but because he likes pleasing Pete and Pete himself is going to want it and enjoy it. It's about time Pete starting living for himself. I'm sure I could write a lot more about just their characters, and the symbolism around levels in the different scenes between their characters and how it changed throughout the episode, but I can't quite put it into words. This is enough already.

Things I need in the next ep:

KinnChay interactions A S A P

KinnKim interactions, why are they literally never in the same frame??

Kimhan. Mr. Kimothy. Sir Kimlock Holmes. If you don't explain yourself, both your actions towards baby Chay and also what all investigative spy work you've been up to, or so help me god i'll let Tankhun loose on you

VegasPete is going to follow their natural progression of events, so the next new conflict has to arise - Kim's info on the Kittisawats in connection with Korn??

P.S. I refuse to entertain the idea of ChayMacau. Absolutely not. I haven't read the book so I don't know but the little Macau that we've in the show is like, even more childish than Chay. I don't even want to see them talk to each other. If this makes me salty and petty so be it. I've said before that I'm not the biggest fan of JeffBarcode (as a pairing) but I will not think of any other pairing other than KimChay, and that's on that.

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