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boredmadamoiselle · 1 year

Text

Much Ado About Nothing

Pairing: Charles Leclerc x Reader

Synopsis: When rumors about Charles cheating on you spread across the world and he can't find you anywhere, Charles thinks he has lost you. But has he?

Warnings: A little smut. Rumors of cheating. Fluff. Angst. English isn't my first language, it probably contains some mistakes. I tried my best but if you want to correct or help me, you are welcome.

Author's note: Thank you so much to everyone who likes and reblogs, your feedback is always appreciated and is important for me. If you have any ideas or concepts you want to share, feel free to write them and I will take into consideration.

Cancun, Mexico

It was 10am and after returning from his morning run and his usual work out with Andrea, Charles was on his way to breakfast.

While waiting for the elevator, he checked his phone and ignoring the numerous notifications coming from his social medias, he directly opened the chat with you.

He hadn't had much time to check his phone that morning but as soon as he had woken up and like so many times when you were away from each other, he had texted you wishing you a good day. By that time and given the time zone, he knew you must have been awake already but to his surprise, Charles found out that you hadn’t answered him yet. You hadn't even visualized his texts, Charles noticed. It was weird, sure, but you must have been working, he thought.

As he was entering the dining room of the hotel, he put his phone away. The room was crowded with people eating their breakfast. He crossed the room and took a seat at one of the vacant tables, while people around him had recognized him and followed his every single move. Since it was nothing new to him, he didn’t pay attention to them. He was a F1 driver, so he was used to people looking at him and talking about him pretty much all the time. In the end, it was part of the job.

Even though he was eating his breakfast, he could still feel their eyes on him while they whispered. They were more insistent than usual, he had to admit. Even though it could be frustrating sometimes, it was something he could handle and in the end, it was worth it. He ignored everyone and focused on his food; he was starving after all the physical activity he had done before.

He kept eating until hearing someone say your name caught his attention. He immediately stopped eating. Why someone was talking about you, his girlfriend? Although the voices weren't very close, Charles tried to focus on them and hear what they were saying.

“How can he act as if nothing had happened, as if he had done nothing?”

“Y/n deserves better! Poor girl, she must be heartbroken”

“Such a disappointment!”

“What did you expect? Men are all the same!”

“Do you really think he did such a thing? Especially under the eyes of all?”

The more Charles listened, the more confused he was, so he stopped listening. He couldn't understand anyway. What were they talking about? Did what? He didn't understand any of this.

He was picking his phone hoping to get some answers when a voice behind him called him.

“Charles! Here you are!” Charles turned around and saw Carlos. Charles noticed he looked pretty nervous and that made Charles agitated. What the hell was happening? At the same time, he was relieved to see his teammate who seemed to have more answers than Charles did, so maybe Carlos could explain to him what was going on.

He went to Carlos and without giving him time to speak, he asked the Spanish driver for an explanation. Carlos knew instantly that his friend had no idea what was happening.

“Yeah, that’s why I’m here. The others and I have been trying to contact you for hours. Haven’t you checked your phone today yet?”, the driver asked. Charles noticed he was whispering as if he didn't want to be heard, so he did the same even though he had no reason to do it and surely, nothing to hide. Or did he?

“I was about to when you walked in. Why?”, he asked, curious to have some answers.

Noticing that everyone was staring at them, Carlos took Charles by the arm and dragged him away from the room to go to a more private place.

“Come with me.”

Charles followed his friend, even though the whole situation was getting on Charles's nerves. Why all this mystery? What did Carlos have to tell him that couldn't be said in front of everyone? But above all, what did the others think they knew that he didn’t know yet? Charles was looking forward to some answers.

When they were away from indiscreet eyes and ears, Charles hoped Carlos was ready to speak but he just pulled out his phone and showed his screen to Charles.

“Do you recognize it?”

Charles looked at the picture Carlos was showing him. There was a table apparently set for two in a restaurant at night overlooking the sea. Of course Charles recognized the place, it was the same restaurant where he had dined the night before. He himself had posted a story by tagging the place. But still he didn't understand what it had to do with whatever was going on. Why was Carlos showing him that picture? Charles was starting to lose his patience.

“Yeah, I went for dinner there last night. Why?”

“Ok, I'll make it short. Apparently, a girl, who was at the same restaurant while you were there too, must have seen you and tagged you in her Instagram stories…”

Charles looked at his friend thinking he was crazy and didn't let him finish. “Carlos, we are Formula 1 drivers. People recognize us and ask us to take pictures with them or tag us all the time. A girl had seen me and tagged me in a story? So what? I don’t think it’s a problem”, Charles sighed.

“It isn’t a problem, of course it isn’t. You didn’t let me finish talking. The problem is what she wrote on the story.”

He picked up the phone from Charles's hands, quickly searched for something and as soon as he found it, he returned it to his teammate. “Here, look”, he said pointing to something on his screen. It was another photograph taken inside the restaurant, this time from another perspective. Charles looked better at the picture. He noticed it was a screenshot of an Instagram story probably posted by the girl Carlos mentioned before. He took a quick look at the name and had absolutely no idea who she was. There was also the location tag and then someone had written “date” followed by a white heart and his tag.

Charles was more confused than ever. Date? Why had the girl written something like that? Not only he didn't know her, but he hadn't even seen her the night before, much less gone out with her. Yes, he had gone to that restaurant and dined there but with his friends. But whoever had seen those stories didn’t know that and they could think that... It was all true. Oh no, Charles thought terrified. It couldn’t be.

Carlos' next words confirmed his fears. “As you can imagine, the story has gone viral. Now many people think that you had a date night with her and that you have…”

“Cheated on Y/n”, Charles ended the sentence.

Carlos just nodded. Saying those words was enough to make him feel sick and suddenly he felt the need to throw up. Charles loved you too much to do such a thing to you. But now the entire world thought he had betrayed you, putting you in a difficult position and maybe…

“Oh my God. Y/n!”

In that instant, Charles realized that if the pictures had gone viral and the rumors had spread, it meant that they had probably reached you too. And maybe they made you doubt him. Was that the reason why you hadn’t answered him yet?

He needed to explain to you that everything was just a big misunderstanding, that he loved you and you only. He immediately took his phone from his pocket, hoping to find a message from you but nothing had changed since he last checked. There were no missed messages or calls.

Given the six-hour difference, you must have been awake a long time ago. Even though you were very busy with work those days, you always found a moment for him, even just when it came to say good morning to him. Even if that silence from you wasn’t at all like you, Charles tried to stay calm and think straight. Without thinking further, he dialed your number and called you. Again and again. Hearing your voice would have calmed him down and if you had answered him, it must have been a good sign, it meant you still wanted to talk to him. But unfortunately, you were unreachable at that moment. He tried again and again but nothing. You didn’t answer him.

“Fuck!”, he screamed as he tried to contact you again. Apparently, your phone was off. But why? During the day, even when you were working, you always kept it on. Unless the whole situation had led you to switch it off, Charles thought. It was understandable given you must have gotten thousands of messages and calls in the last few hours asking you about the rumors. Minus the fact that you didn't want to talk to him, Charles thought. Was that? Were you actually ignoring him? Were you furious with him and didn’t want to talk to him? If that was true, it meant that you had believed the rumors. No, it couldn’t be. There had to be another reason.

Hours before, Charles de Gaulle Airport

With your face resting on the window and looking outside, you were waiting for the jet to take off. Seeing the cloudy sky, you were looking forward to enjoying the warm Mexican sun while drinking margaritas at the beach. Most of all, you couldn’t wait to hug your boyfriend. Fortunately, you still had a few days to spend together before Charles’ duties and the Mexican Grand Prix absorbed him.

You hadn’t seen him since he had left for Austin after his birthday, a week ago and as originally it wasn’t scheduled you went to Mexico, another week would have had to pass before you saw him. The more the races moved away from Europe, the harder it became for you to accompany Charles and support him. As much as you really wanted to, you had a job, deadlines to respect and other responsibilities to face. Recently the work had increased, and several paperwork had been waiting for you in the office. Therefore, you stayed home. However, motivated by the fact you terribly missed Charles and you wanted to see him, you had worked hard for the last weeks and carried out much of the work. So, without saying anything to your boyfriend, you had decided to join him in Mexico and work from… well, from the beach.

As you imagined the face your boyfriend would have made when he would have seen you, the jet was finally ready to take off. You checked the time and doing a quick calculation, you realized you would have arrived for lunch, and it wouldn't have been long from the moment Charles woke up to your arrival, so you had plenty of time to arrive without him suspecting anything. You checked your phone one last time before turning it off.

When the jet was several meters above the ground and after admiring the view for a few moments, you got ready to rest. A long flight waited for you but it was worth it, and you wanted to arrive already fresh and rested so that you could enjoy the time you had with Charles.

With the lights all out and the window down, it took you a few seconds to fall asleep, unaware of what was about to happen on the other side of the world.

Cancun, Mexico

The whole situation was driving Charles insane. He had tried to call you repeatedly but you still didn't answer him. He had also asked the other drivers and their girlfriends to call you because maybe you would have answered them, at least. But it hadn't worked and that freaked out Charles even more.

Your parents, friends and co-workers didn’t know where you were or didn’t want to tell Charles the truth. He didn't know what or who to believe. Apparently, you weren't in the office and had taken a few days off. You weren’t even in your shared apartment. He had sent Lorenzo – because even Arthur wasn’t answering him – to check. That wasn’t a good sign, Charles thought.

Under the gaze of the other drivers, he paced up and down the room while he thought about what to do. The more he thought about it, the more he came to the same conclusion every time: there was only one thing he could do.

He went to the closet; took the few clothes he had placed inside and threw them inside the suitcase without bothering to put them in order. He had no time to waste.

“What are you doing now?”, a confused Pierre asked.

“Can't you see? Packing. I'm going home”, Charles just said.

“You… what?”, the drivers exclaimed in unison. They were visibly panicked.

“Are you out of your mind? And the race?”, Carlos asked.

“Y/n is more important than racing, than anything.” Charles didn’t hesitate to answer, and everyone fell silent at those words. Charles had never believed so much in those words as in that moment. From an early age, racing had been everything to him, his dream. He lived to race and win. But then, one day you came into his world, and everything changed. You had given a new meaning to his life. You stole his heart and he won yours. Now he couldn't accept the idea of losing you. He had to see you and talk to you.

He looked at Max and had an idea. “Max, can I take your jet, please?”, he questioned his friend.

Charles still had a few days left before the Grand Prix and he could also skip his media duties and if Max lent him his jet, he had plenty of time to get home and back in time. It was crazy, Charles knew it, but he didn't care, for you it was worth it. For you he would also have missed the race if it were necessary.

“I’d like to, but…” Max seemed visibly in trouble like he didn't know quite what to say. “It won’t be possible, Charles. I lent it to a friend, sorry. And sincerely I don't think it's a good idea", he continued.

“Thanks for the help, mate”, Charles replied more sarcastically than he had intended. He knew it wasn’t Max’ fault and that he was saying it for Charles’ own good.

Without Max’ help, he could still do it. He would have rented another jet or taken a regular plane.

“Charles, Max is right. Try to be reasonable or at least wait a little longer before doing anything”, Pierre said.

“If I wait, I’ll lose her.” Charles took the last things and closed his suitcase. He was ready to go but Max’ words stopped him from leaving the room. “It won’t happen. Think about it. What if she tries to contact you and you don't answer her because you are flying? That could even make things worse. You need to be patient and wait for her to contact you. In the meantime, you could send your brothers to find her.”

Charles sighed. Max was right too, he had to stay lucid. Maybe you just needed some time to think. Even if he didn’t want to, he could wait a few more hours.

“Okay, but if I don't hear from her soon, I'm leaving tomorrow anyway and you couldn't stop me”, Charles said after an eternity, and he really meant those words.

He put the bag on the ground and went to sit on the bed with the other drivers. He picked up the phone and as he contacted Lorenzo to ask him to look for you, he didn’t see the complicit glance his friends exchanged.

A few hours later, Cancun International Airport

After a long journey, you had finally landed in Mexico and now you were in the car with Arthur on your way to the hotel, the same one where Charles and most of the drivers were staying.

Just before landing, you had freshened up a bit and changed. Instead of the comfy and warm outfit you had worn throughout the trip, you had opted for a top, a pair of white linen trousers and gold sandals. An outfit that was more suited to Mexican temperatures. In fact, it was a beautiful day; the sun was shining high in the sky and it was definitely hot, more than you had thought. You had already put on your swimsuit underneath and you couldn't wait to enjoy the day with Charles.

“We should warn the others that we have arrived”, you said as you saw Arthur turning on his phone. You did the same. As you waited for your phone to finally turn on, your attention was drawn to the incessant sound of notifications arriving on Arthur's phone. It seemed to go crazy. Intrigued by it, you looked at Arthur and saw his eyebrows furrowed. Suddenly he seemed worried.

“What’s up?”, you immediately asked.

He tried to assume a calmer expression. “Don’t panic but apparently Charles called me several times in the last hours. And Lorenzo too”, he said showing to you his phone.

“Oh no! Do you think he found out about the surprise?” Maybe one of the drivers had said a word too many, you thought. But if he knew, then why call Arthur so many times? It doesn’t make sense, you were thinking when your phone turned on and you noticed a series of missed calls and meaningless messages from your boyfriend. You quickly scrolled and read his texts. He was telling you not to believe anything, meanwhile another one was saying that he did nothing. You were confused. Don’t believe what? What didn’t he do? You showed them to Arthur. Something definitely must have happened. But what? You were starting to panic and Arthur could see that. You hated not knowing.

“Okay, let me call Lorenzo to see what’s happening. Surely, he knows something”, he said. You nodded trying to stay calm and understand what was going on.

Charles was in his room lying on the bed while he was impatiently waiting for your message or your call, anything that could tell him you were fine. Every minute that passed without hearing from you was a torture. Where were you?

He checked his phone for the hundredth time in the last hour but still nothing. He put it on the cabinet and sighed.

His gaze fell on the suitcase. It was tempting to stay in that room. The more Charles looked at the suitcase, the more he wanted to take it and get into the first taxi to the airport.

He could have gone out for a walk, got some fresh air but he had no desire to face people's scolding looks and hear the nonsense they had to say about you. The last thing he needed was to get any angrier, so it was best for him to stay in his room.

He was about to fall asleep when his phone rang bringing him back to reality. He jumped out of bed and immediately checked to see who was calling him hoping it was you. His face darkened when he saw the name on the screen. Arthur. Not the name he had hoped for but he still accepted the call, at least his brother was finally calling him and maybe he could have helped him.

“Arthur! Finally! I've tried to talk to you several times. Where have you been?” Before Arthur could answer, Charles kept talking. “Nevermind! I can't explain to you now but something happened. I just need to know if you have seen or talked to Y/n recently.”

Inside him, Charles prayed that the answer was yes.

After what seemed like an eternity to Charles, Arthur finally spoke.“Yeah, I know everything. She’s fine, Charles.”

Those words were a sigh of relief for him.

“Oh, thank God. Where is she? I need to talk to her as soon as possible.”

“Don’t worry, big bro. She’s closer than you think. And open the door. See you later.”

“What the hell?”, Charles exclaimed. Incredulous, he looked at his cell phone. He couldn't believe, his brother had hung up on his face and that only made his mood worse. Arthur must have gone crazy, his words didn't make any sense. Charles thought about what he had said. She’s closer than you think. And open the door. See you later. What did he mean?

He was about to call Arthur again to ask for an explanation when someone knocked on the door. Who the hell was that now?, Charles thought.

He put the phone back in his pocket and went to open the door.

As he went from confusion to surprise, Arthur’s words played on repeat on his mind. Even if he couldn't believe his eyes, now their talk made sense because you were there in front of him. Beautiful as always. And smiling at him as if you wanted to reassure him. At that momen, Charles knew that everything was ok between you.

Your heart filled with love and happiness at the sight of him. He was visibly surprised but you could see how exhausted he was too, even though it was still relatively early and he must have only been awake for a few hours.

Wordlessly, your bodies met in a tight hug, your arms always feeling like a safe place to him. Charles could feel that weight hanging over him in the last hours became lighter with every second that passed.

As much as Charles wanted to stay in your arms, he knew he had to face the subject with you sooner or later. What if you didn't know anything yet? After all, if you had just arrived, it meant that you had been on a plane until recently without any internet connection.

Reluctantly, he broke away from your arms and invited you to enter the room.

“Mon ange! You can't imagine how happy I am to see you. But how? Why didn't you tell me anything? And I thought you couldn’t because of work”, Charles said all in one breath sitting on the bed and pulling you along with you to make you sit on his lap.

“Thanks to Max.” You saw him frown. “I missed you and wanted to be here with you... You know, to support you, so I moved forward with my work and decided to surprise you. Max was kind enough to lend me the jet and I can work remotely”, you continued never stop looking at him.

Suddenly everything was clearer in Charles's eyes. Many of his questions were answered, like why you hadn't returned his calls. “You are therefore the friend to whom Max would have lent the jet”, he said.

You nodded and smiled. “Guilty, your honor.”

At that moment Charles loved you even more. He sighed. There were so many things he wanted to do with you but he had to talk to you first and warn you about what had happened. The more time passed, the more Charles thought you knew nothing. As much as he didn't want to broach the subject, the sooner he did, the better it was.

“C’est magnifique, mon ange, and I can’t wait to spend some time with you. But I need to tell you something before”, he started to say without ever taking his eyes off you. The last thing he wanted was to hurt you. “I swear there is nothing real but a girl…”

“Charles, I know everything, about the girl and the stories she posted, just as I already know that none of it is true”, you said taking his hands into yours.

At those words he breathed a sigh of relief. “So, you're not angry?”, he asked almost in a whisper as he feared your answer.

You couldn't help but laugh. “Of course not. Why should I be? If anything, I’m angry with that girl, even if I imagine, indeed I hope, that she didn't do it on purpose. And sure I got scared seeing all those missed calls and texts from you and I don't like people talking about us without knowing, but I never thought for one second that you did what they said. For me, in fact, it wasn't even worth talking about. I know who you are and I love you, Charles Leclerc.”

He could really breathe a sigh of relief. You could only imagine how worried he must have been for the past few hours. He had feared losing you but you were stronger than anything and it took more than that to make you question him and his love and loyalty for you. Despite this and the fact you loved him, however, you wanted to tease him a little.

“Thinking about it, though, I'm actually a little angry with you”, you teased him, letting go of his hands and trying to hold a straight face so that he knew you were serious.

Already missing your touch, Charles immediately stiffened and panicked at your words. He could swear his heart had stopped beating for a moment.

“Why? What have I done?”, he said wondering what could have been.

As much you were enjoying making him grovel a bit too much, you were dying to turn around and kiss him and tell him you weren't mad at all. “I've been here for... how long? 10 minutes? And you still haven't kissed me”, you told him without looking at him.

You were about to burst out laughing, unable to resist when Charles took your face in his hands and pulled you towards him. His lips pressed against yours, it felt like the whole world stopped. Nothing mattered anymore. It was just you and him. Against everyone and everything.

"Let me fix it then", he whispered between kisses, your forehead leaned onto his.

After that, things escalated pretty quickly and instead of spending all day at the beach, you ended up spending all day together in bed away from everything and everyone. You had to make up for lost time and the rumors had already stolen too much time.

A few hours later, you and Charles finally left your room to go to dinner and it was your turn to post an Instagram story to silence all the rumors. It seemed right to you. That story had to end the same way it began.

You were at the restaurant waiting for your food and while Charles was distracted on his phone, you took a picture of him. The sky behind him seemed to be on fire while the blue of his linen shirt matched his tan perfectly. He looked too good for you not to photograph him.

You looked at the picture you had taken and happy with the result, you started to think what you could possibly write on it. Only one thing best expressed the message you wanted to give at that moment to the entire world.

Even though, you were hesitant that it might have been a bit too much and that others might have thought you were possessive, you ended up posting the story anyway. Fuck them and what they think, you thought as the story was loading. They had talked way too much already. Now it was your turn to speak.

You glanced at Charles waiting for his reaction. As you saw him raising his eyebrows and then smirking, you knew he was looking at the picture.

You weren’t the possessive type but Charles liked when you acted like that and the same was for you.

When he glanced at you, you blushed a little and looked away. He approached you and showed his phone to you. You didn’t need to look at the screen to know what it was. You already knew.

“What would I be, chérie?”, he whispered into your ear. You closed your legs as just the sound of his voice was making you wet already. Each time you were surprised to discover the effect this man had on you. But there were two of you playing that game.

You turned to look at him, your face a few feet from his and your lips almost touching. You got close to his ear and put an hand on his thigh, gently stroking it. “Mine. And if I wasn't clear enough, I can show you later if you want”, you whispered and then kissed him.

Your hand began to move upwards slowly, you could feel his hardened bulge. Your mouth watered at the mere contact.

“Y/n...”, he moaned as you lightly stroke your fingers over his bulge a few times.

A wicked smile appeared on your face. “Uhm? Something is wrong?”, you teased him.

“Yeah, actually, I'm not that hungry”, Charles whispered as he tried to contain himself from moaning.

“Too bad because I'm starving instead”, you joked and stopped rubbing him. You were hungry but not for food.

But Charles wasn't ready to give up. “How about we ask for room service and while we wait for the food to arrive, you show me what you were talking about earlier?”

Ten minutes later you were back in your room, kneeling on the floor while sucking him off and showing him he was yours.

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latoyalestrange · 1 year

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an idea for Sebastian x the MC: MC is on her period and walking with Sebastian when she has a bad cramp, one of those you can’t really ignore and need to sit down for a min and endure the pain. Sebastian’s immediate reaction is thinking she was cursed like Anne because she’s always out fighting goblins. She really doesn’t want to tell him because what teenage girl wants to talk about that with their crush but he’s so worried and won’t drop it. (side note: did teenage boys know about periods in the 1890’s? i deadass have no clue)

omg my mind juices are flowing. what a wonderful idea, anon. thank you for the free labor.

speaking of which, by the time i post this i will most likely have hit 500 followers!! ding ding ding!! why do you guys follow me? i defo do not deserve all the love you guys give me.

another question, how should we celebrate? there are no bad ideas because i have none. anyway, enjoy!

pinky promise

s. sallow x f!reader

summary: normally you keep these things to yourself, or at least to you and your menstruating friends. but one sebastian sees you doubled over in pain, privacy goes out the window. he's so freaked out that you have no choice but to tell him the truth to ease him.

words: 0.6k

warnings: mentions of periods, cramping, angst, hurt/comfort, crying!seb, not edited!

you were just fine moments ago. you were walking with sebastian to the library to study, talking, joking, all of the normal things you would do. he didn't notice you weren't next to him at first. everything was just fine. but suddenly, everything came crashing down when he saw you clutch your side, your face twisting with anguish. he couldn't help it. he immediately saw anne in you, crying out in pain from her curse. everything slowed around him, all he could hear was his own heavy breaths as he stood helplessly in shock. a million thoughts were racing through his mind. he knew you were one to track down the remaining loyalists on your own, but how could he have missed it? you were probably in so much pain but with too much pride to admit it.

most of all, though, he was angry with himself for being unable to protect you. he'd already let it happen to his sister once, he should've taken more precautions. he should've known, he should've stopped it. without wasting another second, he raced to your side, wrapping his arm around you to support you.

"no, no, no, no, no...please don't tell me..." his voice was already breathless and trembling. with your eyes still screwed tightly shut, his words seemed distant, muffled almost. the sharp pain that suddenly surfaced in your abdomen shrouded all your other senses. you couldn't get a word out if you tried, so you just held up your hand, a weak attempt at calming him.

"no, no, i can't--" he didn't even try to hide the tears pooling in his amber eyes. he quickly dropped to his knees in front of you as you knelt over to get a better look at the expression on your face. his hand instinctively cupped your face.

"y/n, please tell me you weren't cursed, please!" he was full-on crying at this point, tears streaming down his freckled cheeks that were now flushed with worry. you were quickly brought back to reality, hearing the pain in his voice. you opened your eyes and instantly felt horrible.

you placed a comforting hand on his shoulder as you slowly started to straighten your spine as the cramp faded away. "no, sebastian, i'm fine--"

"no, you're not fine!" he was practically wailing now, gripping onto your robes hopelessly before wrapping his arms around your waist with an almost unbearable grip and hiding his dampened face in your torso. you were fast to rest your hands in his hair, gently patting it to somehow soothe him.

"sebastian, really, i'm okay, i'm just..." you continued running your fingers through his hair as you contemplated the truth. to be frank, this was something you were hoping you didn't have to talk with sebastian about. however, the lingering students in the central hall were already giving the two of you stares, you needed to calm him.

"it's...my time, sebastian." you tried to keep your voice hushed as to not draw more attention, but your wording sent him even further from relaxing.

"your time?!" he shouted incoherently, tears still streaming down his face.

you gasped, realizing your mistake, "no, no! sebastian, it's my time of the month." as if a switch had flipped in his brain, his brow softened immediately as he stared blankly at you.

"oh." he let his arms linger around your waist as he tried slowing his breathing. after a moment, he pulled you closer once more, his cheek flush with your stomach.

"please don't scare me like that again," he mumbled adorably, still holding tightly onto you.

"i--...sure, okay. i'm sorry, sebastian. i didn't mean to scare you, darling." you decided not to argue with him. in that moment, all he needed was love.

"and pinky promise no more ashwinder camps without me," he added, craning his neck to look up at you with puffy eyes. you suppressed a chuckle but still smiled down at him.

"pinky promise."

#sebastian sallow angst #sebastian x reader #sebastian sallow #sebastian sallow x you #sebastian sallow fanfic #sebastian sallow x mc #sebastian sallow x reader #sebastian sallow fanfiction #sebastian sallow headcanon #hogwarts legacy sebastian #hogwarts legacy headcannons #hogwarts legacy x reader #hogwarts legacy imagine #hogwarts legacy #sebastian sallow fluff #sebastian sallow smut

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stylespresleyhearted · 15 days

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what’s the secret project you posted 👀

oh gosh i keep meaning to answer this and then i keep forgetting or pushing it back for reasons unknown to me i think im just unaccustomed to having any asks lol but anyways this is something that actually started because of a certain thing me and marina yell about when it comes to austin and then as our love for callum grew it came to something else grand and beautiful. now it’s only something that has been discussed in the chat, it has no doc or nothing official to it, it may never even come to fruition (marina is already gifting us with so much goodness in the fic worlds she dabbles in)

but i will share some of it and feel free to come further talk about it if it interests you 😘

Warnings: nsfw below the cut, open relationship, threesome, guy x guy, guy x guy x girl

So we’re all aware of how Austin put his blood, sweat, tears, and soul into his Elvis role. This man gave it his all and I’m truly so grateful to him for it because in my opinion (and most importantly in Lisa Marie’s opinion) he did Elvis Presley justice.

• Bree is a famous and highly esteemed guitarist, singer, and lyricist. She’s won multiple Grammies and written for and with Lana Del Rey, Arctic Monkeys, etc., that’s more her vibe. Baz hires her on during the making of Elvis movie so she could help him modernize the soundtrack and help with the choosing of songs. Maybe she’s even there when Austin gathers all the people from the record label and has them ridicule Austin after his first run through.

• But she’s there before filming and she’s there during filming and her and Austin even shack up together for a while during the first COVID lockdown, spending time with him in his apartment and staying up at all hours of the night to help him get certain scenes right. The bed sheets are tangled, kisses are shared, breakfast is eaten in bed not in the kitchen and there are multiple walks on the beach taken together.

• Bree tries her best to be there for him through all of it. She can sense he’s about to sky rocket and rightfully so, she doesn’t think anyone around can currently measure for his talent. She tries to be a soundboard and a friend and a girlfriend of sorts and a co worker and he’s got her playing all these different roles to keep up with him but keep in mind he never asked her to do any of that. She’s doing it because she loves him, maybe she isn’t in love with him or if she is she isn’t aware of it yet but she does love and care for him.

• And he’s going through his shit. He isn’t sure where Austin begins and Elvis ends and he isn’t in the headspace for a relationship, especially with Bree who deserves the world so when he’s sick as a dog and bed ridden before heading to London he makes sure to have the conversation with her. They were never official. Never went public or had rumors swirl. It’s better to end it on a good note and leave it how it is.

• So consider his surprise when a few months into filming MOTA, Bree shows up on Callum’s arm being introduced as his girlfriend. It’s supposed to be a lads night and Barry dragged him out and now someone who he calls one of his closest friends is introducing Bree as his current girlfriend. A close friend who he goes on walks in the parks with, who places kisses on his cheek after a few drinks, who places his hand on the small of Austin’s back when he approaches him, who pinches his cheeks and welcomed him with open arms. Dating someone who was there at his worst and gave him her heart and stayed up entire nights talking him down when his anxiety was too high and made him do self care when he forgot he was supposed to be his own person.

• and see, Callum and Bree are both Brits so they run in semi same circles and they knew of each other and were friends but Callum was with Vanessa Kirby and they were in love and for a while Bree was with Alex Turner and them afterwards there was Austin. So Callum and Bree were already friends and when they run into each other at a record shop and then head to lunch after and maybe Callum gave her a kiss goodbye when they went separate ways - it all just grew from there.

• so maybe Austin feels a green jealous monster growing inside his chest but who he’s jealous of he’s unsure and a larger part of him is actually happy for both of them. They’re good people, they love each other and both deserve each other.

• they’re suddenly everywhere. She accompanies Callum on set and it’s clear to everyone how in love they are and one time when they’re filming the POW scenes and everyone’s on lunch Austin is looking for peace and quiet so he wanders into their “bunks” but there right in front of him - Callum holding Bree up against the wood panel walls, pounding into her as she moans his name so prettily, his sheepskin jacket still on and making him sweaty. Callum’s eyes open and he catches Austin walking, Austin who trips over his own feet to back away but Callum just smiles and winks at him.

• and later Callum approaches Austin with a high five and a cheeky, “see how good I was giving it to her, mate?”

• and fuck, Austin gets hard thinking about it. Gets hard thinking about Bree’s moans and Callum’s grunt and his sweat and her breasts bouncing against his chest.

• then filming wraps and Austin’s free of them. Doesn’t have to be in there presence every day anymore and he meets someone, a nepo baby who’s beautiful and kind and he’s in a place where he feels he can be with someone so he goes for it and he falls in love.

• and MOTA press isn’t until 2024 so it’s two years of only a handful of run ins with them but then press starts and news break: Callum and Bree are engaged. And the entire cast and crew are happy and they all celebrate.

• She didn’t join Elvis press because she was touring.

• so now Austin is around his engaged friends and he has mixed feelings regarding both of them. See he’s happy and he loves his girlfriend and his career is good but if he’s being honest something is missing and when he wants to torture himself he admits he knows exactly what it is. And he’s doing interviews and Bree is backstage and Callum’s always so touchy and so kind in his words in regard to Austin and one day Callum admits Bree told him what went down between Bree and Austin and Callum’s a confident guy, he assures Austin it’s all fine.

• But maybe it’s the first screening of MOTA, and Callum and Bree are tired of Austin’s sad puppy dog eyes every time they catch him watching them so Bree corners Austin backstage. Gets close and starts palming him through his pants, assuring him Callum wouldn’t mind, in fact Callum has been purposely teasing Austin during interviews trying to get him to cave.

• Callum and Bree both decided if they all wanted it how could it be wrong? Why not go for it?

• And Bree’s falling to her knees and taking Austin in her mouth, pretty pouty lips wrapped around him as she takes him all the way in and suddenly Callum is there, watching them, talking her through it.

• “Isn’t she phenomenal, mate? Had to work with her to get rid of that gag reflex and now she can deep throat me.”

• and Callum waits until Austin mewls his name and calls him over, begging him to be a part of this somehow, to please hold him. So Callum is joining them, Bree so pretty on her knees between them and Callum is flicking Austin’s nipple and letting Austin let his moans out in his neck.

That’s all we have more to come soon if ya’ll wish 🌚

• oh yeah there’s a scene where Bree holds Austin’s hand the first time Callum fucks him because she’s aware of the pain of how large Callum is.

@precious-little-scoundrel

#callum turner #austin butler #callum x austin #callum turner fanfiction #austin butler fanfiction #callum turner fanfic #austin butler fanfic #callum turner smut #austin butler smut #*made by me #return to sender 💌#blurbs #austin x callum #mota fanfic #callum turner x reader #austin butler x reader #callum turner x austin butler #illicit affairs 💫

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animentality · 3 months

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Tavtash leaves such a sour taste in my mouth. Like they could have had durgetash but they were too set on playing a manic pixie dream girl who is super sweet and lovely except that oh yeah she's fucking a mass murderer and a slaver

You know what's really funny to me?

I wrote a 5000 word rant about disliking Tavtash, and I think Tavs in general ruined the story of Baldur's Gate, but then I deleted it. Because people here just want me to fuel their Durgetash/Gortash thirst by making the funnies and the angsties.

They don't care to read things that challenge their viewpoints, offer a strong negative opinion, or encourage them to think critically.

And I know people wouldn't agree with it. Ultimately, that's why I delete a lot of rants. I come here so people can stroke my ego. I don't generally come here to start fights, because that simply bores me.

So it's just comedic to me that I get this anon, right as I deleted that post.

Because I'm glad someone understands.

Like oh, I'm sorry, you're too "nice" to pick the Dark Urge?

But you have no problem blowing a slaver?

You're like the stereotypical 90s love interests who are "nice girls" but also inexplicably dating a dude who knocks a kid in a wheelchair down the stairs. How the fuck can you be "nice" and compassionate, while the dude you're fucking is a sociopathic felon?

Durgetash works for TWO reasons.

Reason 1: They are both fucking awful, and we all know it. Them torturing and ruining each other is a tragic romance with broken teeth, and we enjoy the low moan of a dying animal, tearing itself apart in distress. They start evil, they end evil. Evil horny bastard sex. Tavtash could never be so demented.

Don't jump into bed with Enver Gortash if you intend to keep your hands clean either.

Reason 2: The Dark Urge was given a second chance, even though they didn't deserve it, and took it. They were given the opportunity to fix their mistakes in game. Gortash doesn't get that. The romance is in the tragedy of, he could never be saved. And you cannot save him, even as you save the rest of the world. You grow, and he stays behind.

The romance is in the longing and the yearning for something that is no longer there. The camaraderie of two lonely people...who were separated, and never ever came back together again. It's also about how you were born evil, but chose redemption, while he was born innocent, but chose damnation. Durgetash operates well on this level because it's always equality of opposites. It is character development, mirrored. And it's fascinating to consider.

And what does Tavtash have going on?

It's someone Gortash just met who has something he wants, who may or may not want to kill him but he's desperate enough to throw his eggs in that particular basket. And on Tav's side, it's weird because it's like omg.

I just met him, and he ruined my life, he put a fucking tadpole in my head, and I'm close to becoming a mindless monster without any free will, something he DIRECTLY did to me and my loved ones -

But I still think he's hot.

Hm. ok. that might be amusing if there wasn't a better precursor for a relationship sitting right there beneath you. rotting in Orin's dungeon.

I won't deny, Durgetash might be absolutely nuts - but it will never be as nuts as Tavtash.

But anyway. You didn't hear that from me.

If anyone asks, I looooove Tavtash. I loooooove Tavs. Especially YOUR Tav.

#baldurs gate 3 #bg3 #enver gortash #dark urge #durgetash

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gingiesworld · 7 months

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In Ruins

Wanda Maximoff x GN! Reader

Warnings: angst. No happy ending.

A request from my wattpad account.

18+ MINORS DNI

Wanda and Y/N had been married for the better part of a decade. The two seemed happy enough with the twins. Their own little happy family. Y/N worked full time at Stark Industries as Wanda helped out occasionally at Harkness Florists.

"I just don't know what to do? It's like they never have any time for me anymore." Wanda told Agatha who just nodded.

"Maybe talk to them, it can't be as bad as it seems to be." She reasoned as Wanda hummed. "Anyway, let's have a girls night this Saturday. You, me and the girls."

That was the start of the end for Y/N and Wanda. As they remained at home with the twins, Wanda was gaving the time of her life. Dancing and drinking with her friends, soon catching the eye of someone over at the bar.

"I'm going to get another drink." She told her friends, her heart racing in her chest as she approached the guy. She ordered her drink before she turned to him.

"You are absolutely beautiful." He told her with a smirk.

"Too bad I'm married." She scrunched her nose as she lifted up her left hand.

"It doesn't have to be." He spoke as he leaned in, his hand on her bare thigh, rising slightly as Wanda smiled. Feeling the arousal pool in her underwear as she stood up.

"Do you have a condom?" She questioned as he nodded. That was how she ended up in the bathroom, getting fucked from behind as he played with her breasts.

It turned into a weekly thing, the girls nights out, it was until she was caught by Agatha. Quickly moving away from the random guy as she followed her friend out of the club after she made sure she was presentable.

"What are you doing Wanda?" She asked her friend in disappointment. "You are married and have two boys at home too."

"I know that." Wanda ran her hands through her hair. "I just. I have needs and Y/N doesn't do fulfil them."

"They work full time Wanda, and they spend their free time with the twins." Agatha told her. "They do that so you can live a comfortable life and you are ruining all of it."

"Please don't tell them." She pleaded as Agatha groaned.

"They deserve to know the truth Wanda." Agatha told her firmly. "And it should come from you." With that Agatha flagged down a cab for the two to head home. Wanda looked out of the window as they approached her home. As she walked inside, there was the faint glow of the television as she entered the living room. Seeing Y/N sat in their chair, eyes heavy with tiredness.

"Hey." They whispered as Wanda gave them a small smile. "Did you have fun?" They asked her.

"I did." She answered like everytime they would ask her. "How were the boys?" She asked as she went for a bottle of water.

"Tiring as always." They told her with a smile as they followed her into the kitchen. Just the moonlight was illuminating the room as Wanda smiled slightly. Her heart constricting in her chest as she knows she has broken this family. Y/N and the twins don't know it yet, but she does and it's a heavy burden to bare.

"I'm going to have a shower." Wanda mumbled as Y/N nodded. They made her some toast and tea as she showered, taking it to her night stand as they climbed in the bed and dozed off themselves. Wanda's heart broke a little more at the gesture, even though they barely had intimacy due to Y/N's work and the twins, they always made sure she was cared for, treated the way a queen would be treated.

The next morning, she woke to an empty bed as the smell of pancakes wafted through the house. Tears started to fall as she cried silently, wondering if she should come clean or just leave it all unsaid.

When she walked into the kitchen, she smiled as the twins and Y/N spoke animatedly about that weeks episode of their favourite cartoon. Knowing that Y/N woke up early to sit and watch it with them as they did every Sunday.

The morning went by in a blur as she decided to head to Agatha's. Needing to talk about everything that is on her chest.

"I don't know what to do." Wanda told her as Agatha kept her eyes on the task at hand.

"Tell them the truth. You owe them at least that much." Agatha bit at her harshly.

"But I can't break my family apart." Wanda told her as Agatha chuckled dryly.

"You should have thought of that before you let that man even near you." She told her as Wanda looked away, Agatha tilted her head as realisation struck. "He wasn't the first was he?"

"I'm sorry." Wanda whispered as Agatha shook her head no.

"It's not me who deserves the apology. It's Y/N and those sweet boys who you owe the apology too." She told her as Wanda just nodded.

The week passed as Wanda kept thinking of ways she could come clean. Unable to even come up with an easy way, she decided to head out to her weekly girls night, even with Agatha keeping a close eye.

Pietro had also decided to keep Y/N and the twins company. Bringing his Xbox along with him for a games night.

As the night wore on, the twins went to bed at the usual bedtime, leaving both Pietro and Y/N on the game. Beers in hand as they played, laughed and they just had fun. It wasn't until Y/N had received a text from Agatha's phone that Wanda needed them. Leaving Pietro with the twins, they headed straight to the bar, seeing Agatha already outside.

"She's in the mens room." Was all she said as Y/N's mind raced to the worst possible scenarios. Racing through the club to the bathroom, even over the music they could hear her moans. Remembering them as clearly as it was yesterday.

"Wanda?!" They barged inside to see a random guy on his knees, his head under her dress. Wanda's eyes shot open as she heard her partner's voice. Pushing the guy away as their heart broke in that moment.

"It's not." Wanda started, but she was interrupted by Y/N's fist colliding with the guys face as he stood with Wanda's underwear in his hand, placing it in his pocket. "Y/N!!"

Once they were satisfied, they opened the door for Wanda to follow them to their car. The drive home was silent as Wanda watched Y/N's hands grip the steering wheel harshly. Soon pulling up in their driveway, they took a deep breath before turning to their wife.

"Why?" They asked her.

"I don't know." She whispered as Y/N just nodded, getting out of the car and heading inside. Pietro noticed the air between the two as he disappeared up to the guest room he was staying in for the night.

"What did I do to deserve this Wanda?" They asked her. "You and that guy, would it have gotten further than just that if I hadn't had come when I did?"

"Who told you?" Wanda asked as she crossed her arms.

"That is besides the point Wanda! I just walked in on you with some guys mouth on your clit!!" They yelled as Wanda took a deep breath.

"Do you mind, the boys and my brother are upstairs." Wanda told them as Y/N just shook their head.

"This is so unbelievable." They whispered as they saw their phone. "Apparantly I should ask about the other ones too." They waved their phone in her face. "So, there were more than just this once?" Wanda just sighed as she nodded her head, keeping her eyes away from their own. "Look at me." She looked up reluctantly as Y/N just shook their head. "I have done nothing but take care of the three of you. I have made sure that you have wanted for nothing and this is something that warrents your actions."

"I'm so sorry." She cried as she reached out for them. "It won't happen again."

"It has been happening for weeks maybe months." They reminded her as she cried. "I don't think we can make it back from this. It's done."

"No." Wanda sobbed as Y/N took a deep breath.

"It's done Wanda. We are done." They told her. "I just don't know who you are anymore. You aren't the woman I fell in love with." With that they left her on the floor as they exited the house. Pietro came into the kitchen with a disappointed look on his face.

"You heard?" She questioned as he just nodded. "I'm so stupid."

"You are stupid." He told her. "You ruined the best thing that could have happened to you and Y/N never deserved any of this."

"I know." Wanda whispered as she wiped her eyes.

"No you don't." He told her. "If you knew, you wouldn't have done this in the first place." He tapped the counter before he sighed. "I am going to be around a little more now, the twins need all of the support they can have through this. I just hope you are proud of yourself Wanda. You didn't just break Y/N's heart, you broke Tommy and Billy's too." With that he left her crying in the kitchen, she had indeed ruined the one thing that had been her safe place. Hating herself as she collapsed to the floor as Y/N drove to the place they had always hung out when they were younger.

Both of their lives were in ruins because of Wanda's lack of control.

#wanda maximoff x reader #wanda maximoff #marvel #elizabeth olsen #elizabeth olsen x reader #wanda x you #wanda x y/n #wanda x reader #wanda maximoff x you

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disturbedbeautywrites · 9 months

Text

Cardigan - Rafe Cameron Imagine

Word count: 4.5 k (Longest fic I've ever written!!!)

Warnings: Illusions to smut, a lot of angst and heartbreak, and swearing. 18+ only Minors DNI

The italics are flash backs, so I hope this isn't too confusing to read!

Vintage tee, brand new phone High heels on cobblestones When you are young, they assume you know nothing Sequined smile, black lipstick Sensual politics When you are young, they assume you know nothing

Life in outer banks was paradise, or at least it was supposed to be. Growing up, you had been blessed enough to be the rich side of the island and known as a kook. Your parents were pretty well off and you grew up next door to the Cameron’s. You had a good relationship with both of the kids, or you did anyways. You were never as high up on the popularity chain of politics at school as they were, but that didn’t keep you from fittings in with them.

Summer had just started; which meant that the first party of the year was creeping up that night. “What should I wear?” You were standing in your closet, eyes scanning the choices you had. You could wear an old band tee and a pair of jeans, or you could dress up a bit. But, that wasn’t really your style, it never had been. “Just wear your old nirvana tee, I love how that looks on you.” Your friends voice cemented your choice as you changed into the clothes, putting your makeup on. You were almost ready when you heard a gasp, your eyes lingering on your best friend as you waited for her to get on with the dramatics.

“Rafe is coming tonight.” The words hung in the air as you just clicked your tongue and tried not to think about what those words meant. “Do you still wanna go?” Reminders of the heart break the boy brought on filled your head as you swallowed thickly, thinking of if you wanted to deal with the feelings coming back. However, that slowly slipped out of your control as you skidded back into the recesses of your mind that had been taken up by the Cameron boy.

He ran a hand through his hair as he gnawed on his bottom lip. He wasn’t expecting you to act this way. “Come on, her and I were just having fun. You have no right to act like this.” His words infuriated you as you shook your head and laughed under your breath, of course he was that clueless. “Actually, I do. Fuck you. You can’t have us both like this.” And with that you stormed off, leaving him standing stunned and alone in the middle of the crowded party.

"(Y/N), come on. Do you still wanna go or not?" Your friend stood in front of you, her keys dangling off her finger as she tried to get your attention. You didn't realize you had zoned out until she snapped you out of it, an embarrassed blush taking over your face as you nodded. "Yeah, sure. I deserve to get out for a bit."

But I knew you Dancin' in your Levi's Drunk under a streetlight, I I knew you Hand under my sweatshirt Baby, kiss it better, I

As soon as you agreed, your friend could be heard cheering and taking your hand. She pulled you down to her car and quickly got in, driving towards the party.

She drug you inside, the sounds of kids cheering and music that was way too loud immediately filled your ears. The smell of weed and alcohol was impossible to ignore as the two of you made your way to the kitchen to grab a drink, the two of you leaning against the counter to people watch. You saw some of your old friends and went over to talk to them, laughing and smiling.

Time felt like it was flying as you enjoyed yourself, your body moving to the music with your friends. You hadn't felt this free in what felt like ever and it was a refreshing feeling. "Oh, shit. Excuse me." You felt someone run into you and you turned to look at who it was, meeting an all too familiar pair of steely blue eyes. Your mouth opened to say something before it closed again, your eyes now landing on the girl standing next to Rafe. Sofia, of course. You just gave a small, tight lipped smile as you saw a flash of sadness in the boys eyes.

You pretended to ignore it as you turned to your friends, telling them you would be right back. You walked outside and sat by the pool at the party, soft whimpers leaving your lips as you heard your name being called from behind you. Why did he have to be here? Why? Why why why? The questions kept piling up in your mind as you let yourself remember when everything was simple and easy; when you were the girl attached to his hip. When you were the girl he pulled along with him at parties and showed off.

“Rafe, come on.” Your words were drug out as you tried to pull the man up off the couch, his Levi’s feeling scratchy against your bare legs. He just sat back, an amused smile on his lips as he let you continue to try and pry him off the couch. “Come on, sweetheart. Gotta try harder than that.” The smugness in his voice was all but aggravating as you threw your arms over your chest, crossing them in frustration.

The boy in front of you finally took the hint and got up, his hands finding yours with one as his other slid around your waist. He held you close, humming softly as he spun you around the kitchen. The two of you were best friends, or were you more? You didn’t know. The two of you just always acted like this and no one asked anything about it and you never had any doubts. He leaned his forehead against yours, his breath mingling with yours as he leaned in.

Just before he kissed you, his phone started ringing and it caused the both of you to jump apart. “Hey, Top.” He put the phone up to his ear and listened to the other boy, nodding and glancing at you as he chewed on his bottom lip. “Yeah, man. (Y/N) and I will be there.” He said goodbye and looked at you, a smirk on his lips. “Come to the bar with the guys and I.” You knew you didn’t have a choice, nodding as you ran to go change.

After the excitement of the night wore off you stood next to Rafe outside the bar, his arm thrown around your waist as he talked to Kelce. The alcohol was pumping through both of your veins, your eyes moving from the boy towering above you and the streetlight you were standing under. “Well, I gotta go. It was good to see you guys.” Kelce gave you a nod and a smile before he left, leaving you and Rafe to your own devices.

You leaned against the streetlight, a love drunk smile on your lips as you looked up at the boy who was now leaning against you. “What?” Your words were innocent and quiet as you felt Rafe’s hand slide up on your waist, his cold fingers on your waist as he leaned in to attach his lips to yours. He tasted like bourbon and cigarettes, the taste intoxicating as you reached up and tangled your fingers in his hair.

That was the first time you guys kissed, but it definitely wasn’t the last.

And when I felt like I was an old cardigan Under someone's bed You put me on and said I was your favorite

“Rafe, do you wanna come home with me?” The girls words rang out in your head as you stood next to him at the party, a crushing feeling starting in the pit of your stomach and in your chest. You were right next to him. Didn’t she see you? Or did she just not care?

Your eyes ran over the girl, feeling a bit insecure. She clearly was higher up on the pyramid than your family when it came to money, her flashy jewelry and clothes making that obvious. She was pretty, very pretty in fact. But, Rafe didn’t seem bothered. He just shook her off and pulled you closer, smiling down at you as he leaned and pressed a chaste kiss to your lips.

You didn’t know what you were to Rafe. You didn’t know if the two of you were just best friends still, friends with benefits, or dating. You didn’t know. But, you knew he made you feel special. He made you feel important. “You’re all I ever need.”

A friend to all is a friend to none Chase two girls, lose the one When you are young, they assume you know nothing

Rafe was a player, you knew that from a best friend stand point and from the standpoint of just having a pair of eyes. He did not like to every commit to just one girl. "It's too boring." The conversation was one the two of you had a lot; especially when his hookups came whining to you about what was happening. It always slightly broke you, and you weren't sure if it was jealously or just seeing the sheer heartbreak these girls went through at the fingertips of someone you knew that well.

"I'm just playing the field until I find someone I want to really settle down with." His explanations always were an attempt at getting away with it. And for a while, you let them work. You would just apologize to the girls and go about your life. After all, you weren't his mom. You couldn't control him.

But, the game seemed to change once you got wrapped up in it. It didn't seem so fair anymore and guilt ate at your stomach; wondering who else was getting the same treatment you were. But, hey. He wouldn't do that to you, would he? Surely not.

But I knew you Playing hide-and-seek and Giving me your weekends, I I knew you Your heartbeat on the High Line Once in twenty lifetimes, I

Rafe sung in the shower, that was a tid-bit that you knew that not many other people did. But, as you sat on his bed and listened to his voice carrying out of the bathroom, the angelic tone mixing with the falling of the water, you felt like the luckiest girl in the world.

You got to see all of his quirks that he hid from the world because they didn't seem to be manly enough. For instance, anytime he took medicine he almost always gagged and he didn't like the feeling of scratchy sweaters. He was human, but it often got lost in the perfection act that he had to put on for everyone.

But, as the water stopped you got a maniacal idea and decided to try and scare your beloved best friend. You scampered out of bed and went to hide behind the door to his bathroom, praying that he didn't accidentally slam it on you as he walked past. "(Y/N)?" His voice was softer now that he was out of the shower and it wasn't vibrating off the walls, his blue eyes scanning his room for you.

You stood in your place, hand over your mouth to hide your giggles. However, it was fruitless and soon you were being pulled into his tight chest. His arms wound around your waist as he twirled you around, both of your laughter filling the room. "Put me down! You're getting me soaked!" You instantly regretted the words as soon as Rafe let out a signature chuckle and winked at you, setting you down on the floor. Your bare feet felt soft against the hardwood floor as you landed softly, his eyes meeting yours. "Oh, I can show you soaked." And with that, you were shoving his chest away with a huff. "You're so perverted."

That was your friendship with him. It was everything good and innocent until it wasn't. "Come with me to the bar this weekend." After he had gotten dressed the two of you were now laying in his bed, your head in his lap as he scanned through text messages. His eyes would dart down to you every once in a while, his eyebrows raising in a half question and half statement as you considered it. "Maybe I want you to suffer without me." It was a joke, and you both knew it. But, it was fun to push his buttons. A scoff left his pretty lips before a pout overtook it, blue irises boring into your soul. "Oh, come on. You can't possibly leave me with Kelce and Topper. You know how much of a vibe killer they are."

The words elicited a laugh from your lips as you nodded in a shared understanding, though you had love for all three of the boys, Rafe wasn't wrong. The weekends were usually spent with Topper whining about Sarah and Kelce whining about the new girl who he struck out with. You really needed to give them some pointers, but it always fell on deaf ears. They never believed any of your tips. "I'll only go if you say please." You moved to sit up, looking at him with a raised brow as you put the ball in his court. "You know that word is like poison. You're evil." Your shoulders shrugged as you crossed your arms over your chest. You weren't kidding, and he knew it. "Fine. Please come with me oh lovely (Y/N). I will simply die without your presence." His dramatics made you laugh and nod as you leaned in to kiss his lips, taking solace in the warmth and giddiness they provided.

To kiss in cars and downtown bars Was all we needed You drew stars around my scars But now I'm bleedin'

The weekend came and you kept your promise of accompanying Rafe to the bar downtown with the boys. But, you hardly even paid attention to what was happening with the other two. You and Rafe were lost in your own little world, his lips almost always at the shell of your ear as he whispered drunk nothings into it.

"You make me so damn happy." The words caused goosebumps to run along your entire body, your eyes daring to peak up into his. His pupils were blown, no doubt the cause of the liquor that he had been drinking since you had walked into the packed bar. But, there was an ounce of truth there that was so raw and so Rafe. He could be tough, he could be scary, but around you he was raw and real. Or, so you thought.

"Any man would be incredibly lucky to have you." His words were beginning to slur as he pulled you into a kiss, his arm wrapping around your waist as he pulled you closer. The kiss got deeper and more passionate, your hands tangling in his hair and yanking slightly. This was perfect. It was everything you ever needed. "Let's go out to your truck." Your words were breathy and quiet as he gave you a knowing smirk. He took your hand and told Kelce and Topper he would be back; which earned a whistle and a wink from the other two. "Use a condom! We don't need anymore of you two." Oh, Kelce. Always the PTA mom when it came to you.

You brushed the two of them off as you walked out to the truck and Rafe helped you inside, the kisses shared enough to make your head spin. "I've never done this before." The words were a quiet and shameful confession as the kisses got more heated and the lines between friends and more started to blur. "I got you. Don't worry." His words were whispered into your neck as you felt euphoria start to take over. You had never felt anything like what Rafe was showing you right now. "You're so beautiful."

That was the night that Rafe took everything from you and you willingly let it happen. You let the lines blur, you let the alcohol and the pleasure take over your every instinct that was yelling at you this was dangerous. You knew he was a player, but maybe he was changing. Maybe he would want more after this. Maybe. Maybe..

'Cause I knew you Steppin' on the last train Marked me like a bloodstain, I I knew you Tried to change the ending Peter losing Wendy, I I knew you Leavin' like a father Running like water, I And when you are young, they assume you know nothing

Boy, you could not have been more wrong. After Rafe took your virginity that night, it seemed as if something clicked in his brain that you guys went too far. He was more distant and unavailable.

That was until Sofia came to town and Rafe fell for her hook line and sinker. He met her at a party and lit up like a little kid on Christmas. You had been standing with him, his arm against your waist as he kept his eyes trained on her. She was moving to the beat in a way that you couldn’t, her eyes locking with Rafe’s. She motioned him over; your stomach dropping as he pushed off the wall and seemed to happily oblige to her request.

His body molded into hers immediately, his lips finding hers as they swayed to the tone of the music together. It was sickening for you to watch, bile rising up in your throat as you decided to walk outside. However, he called after you and pulled the new girl over. "(Y/N), wait!" His voice stopped you in your tracks as you gave a fake smile, looking at him expectantly. "This is my best friend, (Y/N). We’ve been best friends since we were practically in diapers." Best friend. The words stung as you recalled the feel of his lips, the taste of his tongue, the feeling of his arms around you. How was that just something best friends did? You knew it wasn't and you all but held back a sob.

"It's so nice to meet you! I'm Sofia." She held her hand out for you and you took it, giving the most awkward hand shake you had ever given. You gave the best fake smile that you could muster up before you excused yourself to go back to your friends.

Throughout the night you could feel his eyes on you as you danced with other guys, having fun despite the circumstances. “What do you think you’re doing?” You heard the all too familiar voice behind you as he pressed a kiss to your neck, his arms snaking around your waist. “I’m dancing and having fun. Where’s Sofia?” The words had a bite to it that you weren’t expecting, but as Rafe’s hips stilled you could tell you caught him off guard.

He licked his lips and turned you towards him, his eyes locking on yours. “She left. What’s with the attitude?” His eyebrows went up and knitted together as he looked you over and tried to read you like a book. He knew you like the back of his hand, or so he thought. He could tell you were upset, but he didn’t realize it was with him. He thought you were just a little buzzed and the alcohol was making you act weird. But, unfortunately for him he was reading the words on the page wrong and it would come back to bite him in the ass. “You we’re just hanging all over her and now you’re here hanging all over me. Is this a joke to you?” Your words exposed your hurt as you glared at the boy that you knew better than anyone, his eyes flashing with confusion.

You left, sobbing as you shrunk down against your car outside. This was an absolute nightmare and it was affecting you deep to your core. This was a boy you’ve known for as long as you could remember. He was the one who wiped your tears when you fell. He was always there. "Friends forever." The words echoed in your head as you leaned your head back in frustration, cursing the words the two of you had sworn on as children.

That was the last time you had spoken to him, and now the wound was just as wide open as it was that day.

But I knew you'd linger like a tattoo kiss I knew you'd haunt all of my what-ifs The smell of smoke would hang around this long 'Cause I knew everything when I was young I knew I'd curse you for the longest time Chasin' shadows in the grocery line I knew you'd miss me once the thrill expired And you'd be standin' in my front porch light And I knew you'd come back to me You'd come back to me And you'd come back to me And you'd come back

The sounds of the party had faded into the distance as you sat outside, head in your hands. Everything felt like it was a bad dream and you prayed that you could wake up from it. You wished you and Rafe had never started to get physical because that was when things got confusing. That was when feelings erupted and burst through the surface on your end. But, what if things had worked out? What if he had felt the same way about you?

The feeling of his lips still haunted your memory, a ghastly reminder of the impact the boy had on your life and your body. He was in your life for so long and then he was just gone, a faint memory of good times etched into your memory. It was like the faint smell of fire after a kegger, it lingered on your clothes and in your hair until you washed it off. But, it still always felt like it was there.

"He's an idiot for doing that to you. He'll be back once he realizes what he's missing out on." The talk you had with Sarah was resonating in your mind as you stared up at the stars of the backyard, their twinkling bringing a small sense of comfort as you let out a breath you did not realize you were holding.

"Hey." You swore you were hallucinating his voice and you actually prayed that you were. You didn't want to face him. You didn't want to see his pretty eyes, or see his shit eating grin that could light up the entirety of a room in an instant. No, that was your kryponite. That was the absolute thing that could make you break no matter what else was going on in your life. But, as you turned around and saw that exact sight, you knew you were in trouble.

"Shouldn't you be inside with your new girlfriend?" The words were pointed like a spear and you hoped it would wound him and cut deep. But, you knew he would never outwardly show if you did. However, the clearing of his throat was enough to show that they had at least pierced through the surface. "She's not my- That isn't important right now." You rolled your eyes as you stood up, looking up at his towering figure in front of you.

"Really, Rafe? Because she seemed pretty damn important when you completely forgot about me for her." Your voice was rising and you felt tears prickling at the waterline of your eyes, the big droplets falling down your cheeks. He was only back because he was bored of Sofia, you knew it. That had to be it. "She was a damn distraction." He was getting stressed, he was rubbing the palms of his hands against his jeans in a way that he thought you wouldn't see. But, unfortunately for him you did. "A distraction from what?" You hated how you took the bait and you also hated how he was walking closer.

His movements were slow and cautious as his hand moved under your chin, tilting your head up to his. "You." The single word answer was not what you were expecting, confusion crossing your face as you tried to read his reaction. "I fucking fell for you and I was afraid of fucking it up." His voice was saying all the things you ever wanted to hear, and yet you couldn't take them at face value. He had taken your virginity and dipped. He had abandoned you. He had left, after everything he had told you. And, you weren't ready to forgive him. You didn't think you could do that yet.

You just chuckled and shook your head, taking a step back. "I chased the ghost of our friendship around a graveyard of memories for the last month, Rafe. I'm not ready to forgive you just because you come spewing words about falling for me. For all I know, it could be a lie." Your words were not what he was expecting, that was obvious by the look in his eyes.

"What can I do to make it up to you?" His words were almost laughable at the rate of desperation that they were bred out of. It was a scared look, it was a flashback to growing up together, it was the feeling in his chest whenever you were around. It was the happiness that your laugh brought him, the bottle of your perfume he always kept in his car, the clothes of yours he kept in his dresser drawer. It was everything, you were the sun and the moon and all the stars. You were the entirety of his universe and now you were pushing everything into a black hole because he fucked up. That, in itself was enough to feel like death to him and he hated the fact that he messed up this bad.

"I don't know, Rafe. I'll let you know if I ever figure it out. Now, if you'll excuse me I have a party to get back too." And with that he watched you walk away, your head high and proud and your tears no longer falling for the boy and what could have been. You knew this would be better. You knew you deserved more than feeling like second best. You deserved the world, and you weren't going to have it given to you on someone else's time.

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beanghostprincess · 3 months

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Sanji transitions to a woman living her best life with her crew. The vinsmokes find out the typical reactions indifference (They're kind of like kaido. Yeah, they're terrible, abusive, neglectful but they're not transphobic Jud is but the siblings are not).

Her sister is upset that she never got to spend time with sanji as sister.

Ichiji doesn't like that she looks so much like their mother it makes his feel something he doesn't know what it is happiness sadness maybe both but not enough to truly care about his sister.

yonji feelings are complicated. He's really angry, really angry. Looking at her bounty just makes him scowl she looks so nice and pretty. She also looks so happy and free not worried about judgment or slander from family and peers he hates it. He hates this weird feeling and he hates sanji. She's happy and living her life with her loving and accepting crew and he's stuck at home unable to open up about anything without backlash

( the weird feeling is envy specifically gender envy. Trans girl yonji she would be the most cold hearted girl on the planet but she'd be so pretty)

Niiji stopped caring about Sanji when she left the second time. Her being a girl now doesn't change anything and besides you could see the signs from mars of course she's a girl. He used to watch her play with her sisters doll all the time before throwing them in the moat

Jud nobody cares about his opinion

Transfem Sanji my beloved yayyyyy I love these asks!!!!!!

Reiju would be extremely happy for Sanji, of course, but a bit sad she couldn't be able to help her sooner. Because maybe- And this is unfair but- If maybe Sanji had been born a girl, perhaps Judge would've let some of the stuff she did slide the way she let Reiju be a little bit more emotional. Everything would've ended up the same, yes, but Reiju can't help but wonder. And also, she's dying to see her and her crew again to finally spend time with her sister. She isn't sure if she'll ever be able to do it, but Sanji's wanted poster kind of keeps her hopes up.

Ichiji is conflicted. Because he shouldn't care about Sanji at all. He doesn't care. Is she a girl now? Good for her. Whatever. She can do whatever the fuck she wants with her life. And yet he keeps finding himself staring at her wanted poster rather often, and seeing her mom in her. And he- He didn't care about his mom either. She's dead. It doesn't matter. But there's just something about Sanji now that makes him feel... Warm and melancholic and he hates it. He tries to avoid the subject completely.

Ohmygod- I love the idea of trans girl Yonji being jealous of Sanji's life and having gender envy. That's- That's so good. She shouldn't be able to feel like this and she should not want these things like her sister but she wants to be like that. Be free like that. And that makes her so, so angry and violent and she's constantly talking shit about Sanji only to feel better but it only makes her feel worse.

Niji is... Complicated. Because he doesn't care. But I think he'd also be jealous of her. Like- Jealous of her being happy and free. But he accepts it better than Yonji because Yonji goes all sentimental and violent and visibly jealous about it while Niji tries to be more like "Huh? I don't give a fuck about her. Why should I? Why do we even keep mentioning her? And besides, you didn't know she was a girl? It was obvious from a mile away. Not that I care. Because I don't care. She rejected our pretty kind invitation to the family again because she's an ungrateful bitch, anyway" but he actually does care and it frustrates him but, anyway, it's not like she's here anymore so he doesn't think about her. I also think he'd be annoyed about her looking like their mom btw he says she doesn't deserve it since it was her fault she died (and then he realizes what he said and he shouldn't have said it because in theory, he doesn't care about their mom dying).

And you're right, nobody cares about Judge. But I think it'd be funny if he complained about Sanji and misgendered her all the time while the siblings keep getting the pronouns right and they kind of... Defend her? To some extent? They start to develop stronger feelings as time passes by and I just think it'd be great for them to finally lose it with their dad because "at least she managed to find herself, we don't even know who we're supposed to be" and it doesn't matter which one of them says it, because it affects all of them equally and they have the biggest identity crisis ever only because their sister finally is happy and they want to be like that too.

#vinsmoke siblings my beloveds i love them they're so complex i am going to put them in the microwave and watch them spin #one piece #black leg sanji #transfem sanji #vinsmoke ichiji #vinsmoke reiju #vinsmoke niji #vinsmoke yonji #vinsmoke judge #vinsmoke siblings

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that-one-anxious-mango · 19 days

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Hi love! I hope you are feeling/doing better! I was just thinking about the Days of Our Love series. Any chance we might get an update soon? I miss it!

Oh, New York. How I Love You. (1)

Summary: Austin's best girl comes to visit him in New York to cherish the time they have together before he leaves to Australia, in what becomes a very eventful two weeks together.

Word count: 8.2k

Warning: LONG POST!

Contents: Lots of fluff. Mentions of childhood trauma. Sexual Content (Oral: Fem receiving, hand job: Male Receiving), emotional situations.

A/N: Hello beautiful humans, it has been a minute. Don't drag me please. I just always take so long because I want to always put out the best content. Would you believe me if I said this went through TWO edits. Geez! But all in all, I hope you enjoy.

PS: Everyone feel free to comment, send more letter, and reblog! Much Love *hugs* Tags: @purejasmine, @wacoshuffle , @flyestvenustrap , @louisejoy86 , @unicoreads, @incorectly

______

“ Are you seriously going to take all of that to New York with you? Why don’t you just take one suitcase and then buy some outfits to wear there, ya’ know. “ Phoebe chirped from her spot laid out across your bed while flipping through a HG magazine.

“ I agree. Buy some cute outfits and surprise him that way. Then you’ll have room to bring back the clothes you buy for you and us.” Alex continued to play a riveting game of tug of war with Magnus on the floor.

Her last comment made a laugh erupt from you in the closet, “ Yeah nice try, buddy. I’m not bringing you heifers anything back but some damn keychains and the lasting scent of the smug and smoggy New York air on me the next time we see each other.” You yelled back. “ And plus it’s gonna be cold outside.”

Phoebe laughed while Alex scoffed, “ UM! Excuse me ma’am, but as a friend, need I remind your ass that this was a part of the deal. Since you’re abandoning me, The Travel Buddy, to go FORNICATE with Mr. Goldilocks in New York instead of HOME with me for the Winter Wonderland Festival. You promised to bring me back something nice to add to my outfit for the Warner Bros. charity event next month.” She recalled the promise that you did in-fact make to cease her tantrum at the time.

“ And on top of that, I’m also the one silk pressing your hair for this trip, ma’am. AND taking care of my fur nephew that you’re abandoning as well. Therefore, I DESERVE SOMETHING.” She added.

“ This is true.” Phoebe co-signed, continuing to flip through the pages.

You cut your eyes at her when you entered the room again to walk a pair of shoes over to your bursting suitcase.

“ Yeah. Yeah. I’ll make sure to bring you back something for your pain and suffering. Brat.” You muttered the last part. “ AND fyi his hair is black now.”

Alex grinned while blowing you an air kiss that you grab and pretend to smush in your hands.

“ You know you LUHHHHH me, girl.” She teased. “ Now hurry up because I don’t have all night to do this. I don’t know why you didn’t just get braids or some passion twists put in like a normal person going on a trip .”

“ What’s love got to do with it?” You sassed. In return you were met with a pillow to the side and giggles around the room. “ And don’t rush me! I’m almost done.”

“ What time is Austin supposed to be coming to get you from the airport? Phoebe questioned.

“ Noon.” You answered fighting to try and fit a scarf into your luggage. “ My flight leaves at noon and I should be there by evening. I’m not exactly sure when, I just know their three hours ahead.

“ Okay. Cool, just make sure you let us know when you’re in the car and everything. “ Phoebe noted.

You scoff, “Like yall asses won’t be watching me on 360 anyway. Stalkers.”

“ Hey! You should be happy that somebody cares enough to stalk your ass. People go missing everyone, B.” Alex mocked the line from Paid in Full.

“ Yeah. I know. I do the same thing with ya’ll.” You huffed, “ Okay. I think that’s it.”

“ Good! “ Alex jumped up, “ Now go and grab my hair bag. So we can start on this head, honey. All this dang hair.” She looked at the long blow dried mess on your head.

“ I know damn well that is not a damn hot comb.” You deadpanned.

“ Do you want the hair straight or not? We have heat protectant, so relax. Whenever we both get back I’ll come over and we can do a treatment to make sure your curls revert back right. I got this. Now tilt your head down..”

Phoebe giggled watching the two of you fuss at one another, “ Yeah you better sleep pretty tonight, babes. Head on hands, silk scarf, and turn a fan on so you don’t sweat.”

“ I'm aware.” You sighed, settling into the chair and began to listen to Phoebe as she started her descent into her plans while you would be away.

“ OW! ” You jumped at the sudden sharp burning feeling on your scalp, “ Alex really.”

“ I barely touched you! It’s the steam.” She giggled at the scrunch on your face, “ Hehe. My bad.”

______

The Next Day…

After a couple goodbyes to your fur baby and helping your driver wrestle your large suitcase into the back of the car Austin had sent for you against your wishes, you found yourself tiredly weaving about through LAX.

You’d already pre-checked everything, so once you went through security and went to make sure your gate existed, you’d found a very overpriced coffee place and ordered a little danish and iced chai to settle the nerves.

It wasn’t until you were in a seat by the terminal happily scrolling away on your phone that you got a text message from Austin.

Sweet Baboo: can’t wait to see you. enjoy your flight. love you. :3

Once you boarded, the flight had been fine and you’d done exactly what was predicted of you.

You’d read for a good couple of hours and then slept a good chunk of the rest of it. The flight was smooth with no delays.

When the pilot announced your descent, anticipation began to build up in your chest

Quickly you pulled out the mini mirror from your carry on bag and went to fix your minimal makeup and undid the head scarf on your head to reveal the flowy silk press that fell down your shoulders. You combed it out and fixed your little cute airport outfit in preparation to get off.

Seeing as you were in first class, against your wishes also, you were one of the first to exit the plane. You made it to baggage claim where a nice older gentleman with a sign had begun setting your luggage up for you on a cart and offered to push it down to the terminal.

“ For Miss Y/L/N.” He’d smiled.

“ Yes, I’m her.” You nodded.

“ Wonderful I’ll be helping you with your luggage. Compliments of a Mr. Sweet Baboo.” He told you with a grin on his face.

You stifled a part of your laugh as the two of you began walking through the airport, “ Did he really ask you to say that? “

He nodded, “ Yes, He did. But I don’t mind. One of the more milder things I’ve been asked to say in my time doing this job.”

“ I can only imagine.” You laughed.

“ Quite cold outside. But you look bundled up.” The man smiled.

“ Oh yeah. It’s the Sahara in here. I think the breeze will actually help cool me down.”

The sharp chill of the evening wind swiped at the little exposed patches of your face as you made it to the extremely congested pick up and drop off area. It felt near impossible to try and find which car belonged to your boyfriend in the sea of what felt like a thousand black SUVs littering the street.

It wasn’t until you spotted a familiar head of slicked back raven hair stuck out one window that you recognized your boyfriend as he made his way out the car.

A squeal unintentionally left you and Austin smiled a mile wide as he opened his arms up to you, “ There’s my girl.” He laughed, catching your body that was flung into him. “ Hey there. Mr. Sweet Baboo.” You giggled into his neck, placing a kiss there.

He’d taken his time unlatching you from him until he offered to quickly help the man load the trunk since he’d spotted what he believed to be the shine of a camera in the distance.

You didn’t have time to breathe once you both were inside and the door shut. The partition was already rolled up and once the car started to move, and so did Austin’s lips against yours. Your body had suddenly felt like it was on fire with a flame that only he could put out.

Your hands were attached to his face while his own were free to roam the parts of your body he’d missed in his absence.

A small moan escaped you at the sensation of his hand kneading your thigh under his touch and pulling you further into him to the point of being in his lap now.

“ Fuck, I missed you, Baby.” He groaned.

“ Not as much as I missed you.” You mumbled in-between kisses, hands feverishly grabbing at anything on his body that would keep him tethered to you.

He smiled into your lips, “ Is that a challenge? Because believe me, before this car even hits the main streets I can prove that I missed you most.” He whispers, hand sliding to rest just under your abdomen. Your breath hitches and the most indecent thoughts begin to pool around in your brain.

You giggled feeling his fingers sliding up your cardigan, “ Okay..okay..okay. I believe you.”

“ I can’t wait to get you home, all to myself.” His words came out muffled, but had all the same effect as you found yourself pacing your breath and clenching your legs together.

“ You look cold, sweetheart. Let me warm you up.”

The ride had been agonizingly long with Austin teasing you every chance you got.

When the two of you arrived at Austin’s brownstone, your eyes couldn’t register just how beautiful it looked from the outside. Almost like something you’d see in movies like Autumn in New York or Maid in Manhattan.

“ Aus it’s beautiful.” You mumbled out taking in the glistening snow that littered the cement steps beyond the black steel gate.

“ Thank you. Can’t wait to get you inside of it.” He smiled, pecking your lips before getting out.

To your protests, he’d gotten all of your bags himself and took them inside as you huffed and whined, “ I wanna help! It’s my stuff. Aus! It’s too cold for you to be out here doing this by yourself.”

“ Nope. Just get your cute ass in the house. ” You rolled your eyes at his smug grin.

The minute you stepped inside the foyer of the home Austin had literally swept you off your feet, dipping his face into your neck to administer kisses.

You laugh and thrash in his arms the entire way to his gorgeous couch, ridding yourselves of your coats.

“ So, first, “ He plopped down next to you, instantly reaching his arms out to pull your body into his lap. “ Are you hungry? I know you didn’t eat on the plane. And before we do anything else I wanna get you fed if need be.”

“ No, not really. “ You leaned back against him, “ I think I’m just hyped up on the adrenaline of getting to see you.”

“ Yeah me too.” A finger traced along your neck just where your hair fell past, , “ Damn. Look at your hair. I knew it was long, but I’ve never seen it like this. It’s beautiful.”

“ Thanks. I wanted something a little more manageable since our itinerary is a bit packed. It’s not big and unruly like usual.” You played with your ends.

“ Stop it.” He scolded, “ Big? Yes. Unruly? No. I love your hair in its natural state babe. It’s cute. I love watching you take care of it. It reminds me to stay up on my shit.”

“ Yeah, no 2 in 1 conditioner for you buddy.” You reached to pick at one of his dark locks close to his ear. It was still taking some getting used to.

“ Hey.” He turned to nip at your hand, “ There wasn’t any 2 in 1 shampoo before you and there damn sure won’t be any now that I’ve been exposed to the good life.”

And a good life it was! You’d exposed Austin to all the skin care, shea butter, oil pulling, essential oils and everything else needed and now mysteriously you had products coming up empty all the time.

“ I know babe I’m just teasing. Excited for this weekend with you.”

“ So am I. Gonna’ feel good spending time with my girl. Kinda miss my little buddy though. “

“ I know me too.” You pout, “ But I promise you he’s living his best life with his Aunt Alex. He’s already had a pup cup, two treats, and last I knew was taking a nap in her office on a pile of heated blankets.”

“ You’re going home to a diva, baby.” He smirked, imagining the little dog buried in blankets fast asleep. “ So, back to this itinerary that was mentioned.”

“ Yes! It goes by day to optimize experiences and time.“ You pronounced proudly, bouncing on the couch.

“ Really? “

“ Truly. I wanna make the most of our time together.” You replied.

“ Okay, do tell. “ His eyebrows raised in amusement, “ What’s on today? “

“ Today’s agenda is light because it’s the first day and I already knew I’d be tired. So the only two major things on the list are having dinner with my Sweet Baboo and unpacking.”

“ Nice! And we can make all that happen. Let’s take a look at the other days.”

And you did, together you examined the well planned and thought out itinerary in front of you.

He nodded , “ Looks good. We may have to make a couple of adjustments if that’s okay with you. I have some surprises in store.”

“ Ouuu! What?! Tell me.” You practically bounced in his lap.

He smiled, “ If I told you it wouldn’t be a surprise then, would it.”

“ Not even a hint.” You whine, slightly puckering your lips, and playfully batting your mascaraed eyelashes.

“ No. Nuh uh. Not gonna happen. But you’re cute though, baby.” He pecked your lips.

You groan, “ Fine! On second thought I am hungry. Feed me seymour.” You goofed trying to imitate the rich voice of Levi Stubbs.

The lines of his lips curl, “ C’’mon then Audrey II. You can keep me company while I start dinner.”

And you did just that perched on a chair at the island while the two of you made small talk.

“ That can’t be all.” He softly laughed, “ I haven’t seen you and I wanna really know how my girl is doing? Tell me. I know there's something.”

“ I mean there really isn’t much to tell, baby. I told you. It’s just been work..writing…Magnus..and missing you.”

“ How about that lease? “ Austin said, rolling out the dough in front of you.

Your shoulders tensed, “ What about it?”

“ You talk to your building manager about whether you're renewing or not this spring, yet? ” He inquired about your plans for your apartment, which was really his not so subtle way of asking if you’d thought anymore about his offer to move in with him after Elvis was estimated to wrap this summer.

Although you and Austin had been together for almost six months at this point, you weren’t exactly sure if you were completely ready for that kind of commitment yet. Granted when the projected time of wrapping would come around the two of you would be coming up on a year, you still had some things holding you back about the whole ordeal.

“ It’s on the to - do - list…” You stretched, “One of the many adult things to eventually be handled.”

“ Uh huh. I see. “ He mused,” Well like I said before. I wouldn’t mind coming home to you and Magnus every night. And when I’m home you're either always at my place or vice versa. In my eyes it would just make sense.” Austin explained.

Your hands fidget with the brown place mat in front of you, “ I hear you and I understand, babe. And I promise I’m really taking all of this into heavy consideration. “ You settled.

“ Good, I can live with that. Now get up, come over here and help me by cutting the sheath on these asparagus.” Austin instructed, while heating up his rosemary and pepper butter mix in his skillet.

Your eyes widened at the opportunity to help, while you could cook you were unashamed to say that you had hard limitations of what you could and couldn’t make. Whereas Austin on the other-hand was practically a chef with the way he could make his assortment of dishes. Which in turn made him the primary cook of the relationship while you were always happy to be captain of the clean up crew.

“ Oh yay. I get to help.” You hopped up, “ And you're going to let me use a knife! Sick! “

Now becoming skeptical, Austin cocked his head rethinking his offer of a sous chef position, “ On second thought maybe you should stick to being my honorary taste tester. Quite good at that job, peaches.”

“ Nope. I’m helping. “ You rolled up your sleeves, “ Now prepare to see some clean beautifully mutilated asparagus, babe. “

“ Jesus.” Austin groaned, placing the steaks in the sizzling pan.

______

Your dinner of sirloin, seared asparagus, garlic and herb mash potatoes, and bread you couldn’t pronounce right was absolutely splendid.

And now being presented in-front of you was just the dessert to top the night off: A thick and nice slice of strawberry drizzled NY cheesecake.

Favorite of yours.

As you began to indulge in your sweet treat you teased yourself by wondering if there was any way the night could possibly get better.

Then it hit you…you could knock one of your tomorrow's itenary items off tonight without any worry.

So, yes. It definitely could.

“ You know what would be really good, right now.” You mused aloud at the island.

Still turned Austin asked, “ And what would that be, sweetheart? “ He continued loading the dishwasher.

“ A nice hot relaxing bath. “

“ Uh huh.“ He sounded

Grabbing the towel off the stove handle, Austin walked over to the island to lean in.

“ Okay. “ He simply said, “ Your wish is my command.”

“ Really? “ You nervously scraped your fork against your plate.

“ Of course. This trip is all about you. So, if the best girl wants to end the evening with a bath. Then it’s my job to make it happen.” He washed his hands.

“ Just stay here and finish your dessert. And then come up. Alright? “ He instructed, coming around to stand in front of you, taking your face into his face.

“ Okay. “ You nodded.

He returned the gesture and placed a chaste kiss to your forehead on his way out before heading upstairs.

You could hear the faint sounds of water running as you struggled to calm your weirdly nervous stomach and finish your dessert.

By the time you made it up stairs and into the bathroom the lights were dimmed and the aroma of jasmine bath salts and vanilla bubble bath filled your senses.

You weren’t spooked when you felt him appear behind you.

“ Let me take this off of you.” His fingers danced along the curves of your side as his hands moved along to lift your shirt over your head.

You sucked in tiny breaths the rest of the time he took to undress you. Ever so often you’d catch his eyes and smile, turning away to blush.

Once you were as naked as the day you were born, he gently helped you step into the creme claw foot tub.

“ You wanna get in? “ You sheepishly grinned. “ Plenty of room.” Kicking up your feet over the side to expose the suds and bubbles that dripped down your legs.

Knowing that he’d already restrained himself while helping you undress, Austin wasn’t too sure he’d be able to handle any accidental slips of the hand or touching by any means without immediately yanking you out the bath and into the bedroom for some extremely intentional touching of his own to you.

“ No, I’m okay. This is about you. So, enjoy your bath, babe.” He smiled leaning over to grab at the loofa.

, “ Stop it. You’re fine.” Austin playfully scolded, watching the pout spread on your face.

“ If you want we can both sit on opposite sides. “ You offered just as a lightbulb went off in your brain, “ OH! Or you could lay with your back against my chest and my arms around you like Vivan and Edward in Pretty Woman. I’ve actually always wanted to do that.” You confessed your little fantasy.

“ Plus. You did say this weekend was about me.” You moved to place your hands on the tub and rest your head on them, “ And what I want right now is for you to come in here with me. Now,“

Austin’s cheeks warmed in affection and amusement as he watched a twinkle appear in your eye at the idea of getting to live out another one of your little rom-com fantasies. And how you’d suddenly gotten a bit bold in your request.

He sat there for a moment contemplating when ultimately he decided who would he be if he couldn’t be the person to fulfill your fantasies and desires.

He blew out air, “ Fine. I’ll be the Edward to your Vivan, babe. But just know the accidental touching and moving needs to be kept to a minimum. “ You watched as he stood up to pull his shirt above his head and shimmy his pants. “ I mean it. I am a man of virtue after all, honey. A delicate flower you could say. So, I expect to be treated as such.” He teased.

You didn’t have a smart remark to quip back at him because your mind and eyes had both been polluted with the images of him bare before you in all his glory.

Instead you mustered a playful cat call, “ Yeah take it off! Look at those cheeks! “

All Austin could do was smile and shake his head as he walked over and maneuvered himself to get in and sink in between your legs. Your arms found a home around his shoulders and your lips made quick work of placing innocent enough kisses to his skin in places you knew may be less…inflammatory than others.

And you could tell by the low and almost soulful groan Austin let out once he was fully submerged in the calm of the warm water that this was something he needed too. “ Feels good..” He mumbled letting his head back to rest in the valley of your naked breasts.

“ Good.” You replied, as you too were enjoying the warm intimacy of the atmosphere.

“ We don’t do this enough at home.” Austin sounded as you used the soft silicone loofah to scrub and wash his chest.

“ What? “

“ Relaxing…soaking like this.” He rubbed at your knee that was exposed out of the water.

“ I agree.”

“ So..” He squeezed the sponge he’d grabbed and dipped into the water on your back, “ You excited for tomorrow? “

You nodded, “ I am. I’ve visited here once on a family trip and another time for a work thing. But I’ve always felt like I’ve never gotten the true experience. And since Aunt Kiki lives here now I’ve been wanting to visit her. But of course she’s away on a work trip this time of year.”

“ Mhmm.” A hum can from Austin as you move your hand lower.

“ Watch yourself.” Austin mumbled, grabbing that hand to interlock it with his.

And you did, you made it a point to keep your hands clear of the southern equator of your man. That was until you felt him let guard with a sigh and push back into you.

This was the moment you took your opportunity.

A breath hitched, “ Y/N…what are you doing? I thought I made it very clear the stipulations of this arrangement. “

You crane your head down to rest your lips just above the shell of his ear as your hand continues to move toward its desired destination.

He tensed against you when you went to lightly grip at his now half-hard cock in your hand. You moved it up and down a bit before stopping and using the pad of your thumb to quickly run across his tip.

Involuntarily Austin lets out a small hiss at the sensation, “ Alright, that’s enough of that. “ He hand comes to try and halt yours. But you use your leg to stop him.

Instead you ignored him, keeping your attention focused on guiding your hand to stroke him up and down. The water of the tub has begun to sway from the movement, “ I’m not done.” You whispered in his ear. “ You said this weekend was about making me feel good.”

Your tongue darts out to lick and bite at his ear, “ You wanna know what would make me good?

“ Yes.” His answer sounded strained against his voice. By now he’d ever so slightly begun to move his hips upward into your hand, beginning to get lost in the sensation of his touch.

“ What would make me good right now is for you to be a good boyfriend and cum all over my hand for me.” You say, mindful to increase the pace of your hand. “ Please can I have it, baby. Will you give it to me? Will you give your cum, baby? “

“ Oh fuck.” Austin’s head dives back against your breast and his eyes are tightly shut as his body begins to become overwhelmed with pleasure. Your words doing something to him, of course he’d heard you be verbal during exchanges, but never like this. “ I’ll give you anything you want.” He groaned.

“ That good, Aus? “ You used your free hand to come from its place on his chest, to grip at his chin and guide his head to loll to the side. It gives you access to attach your lips to his in what could only be described as a sloppy exchange of love. You swallowed his grunts and groans in your throat while he allowed your soft whimpers to enclose his lips.

By now the water of the tub began to slosh with bits beginning to fly out of the tub and onto the floor from the impact of Austin’s hips coming to meet the pace of your hand.

He reluctantly forced his mouth away from yours, saliva collected on his cheeks. “ Fuck, just like that. Baby you’re gonna make me cum if you keep doing this.”

“ Yeah? That’s what I want, baby. Give it to me, Aus. Show me how much you missed my touch, baby.” You moaned dipping your head to suck on skin you’d long ago identified on his neck to be his “ sweet spot.”

With that he couldn’t contain himself anymore and you watched as his face contorted into a beautiful display of pleasure and angst, his eyelashes fluttered as he shot his thick ropes of cum in your hand. You keep stroking him through it until a hand shoots out to stop you. This time it succeeded as you ceased your movement, and watched his chest heave up and down.

Your hand rubs at his shoulder to help ground him and bring him back to you.

After a couple of minutes with a huff he speaks, “ Was this your plan all along? To get me in this position, baby. So you could use me this way, as your play thing? “ He accuses.

“ Guilty.” You whispered, thinking about how this all was in-fact a long game in getting him here. You knew had it been in the bedroom or anywhere else he would have undermined your advances and made your own pleasure the main focus as usual. But you figured that if you could essentially “ trap him “ into a smaller more controlled environment where you could take the reins a bit, you could finally have a moment to adore your boyfriend the way he always makes sure to adore you.

“ What am I gonna do with you?” He groans and you smile, placing a kiss on his head.

Eventually with no more funny business involved, you both take turns cleaning each other off before he gets out and wraps a towel around his waist. And then comes back for you, plucking your wet body out of the water.

Routines are done and pajamas are thrown on quickly before he ushers you both to lay in the big king size bed.

You relish the opportunity to sleep in his arms after so long. It seemed like it’d been a day and forever. When really it’d been about five and a half weeks.

“ Quite the little show you put on there in the bathroom.” He whispered.

“ What can I say, I missed seeing the faces you make like that in person. All those facetime calls just don’t do those flushed cheeks or sweet strangled moans justice,baby. Needed to see it.” You shot back, and went to lightly play at the dip in his shoulder.

“ I see we’ve grown quite bold in my absence.” He muttered, trailing his eyes to your thigh that peaked out from the slightly raised shirt.

“ So what about me? When do I get my own personal refresher of your moans and the way your body arches off the bed when I use my fingers to touch your spot? “

At his words, you could feel your heartbeat begin to race and the all too familiar aching and yearning you’d been feeling throughout your body return.

“ I don’t know. I haven’t felt like that in a while. I’m not as good as you with my hands, baby. “ You casually say.

“ Well. I don’t particularly plan on using my hands tonight. I’ve got a bit of a different approach since we’re so eager to try out new things. “ He said.

And then he said something that knocked the wind out of your chest.

“ Instead I want you to come and sit that pretty pussy on my face.”

It would take you many moments and labored breaths of shock before you mustered up your bewildered response, “ You want me to what?! “

“ You heard me.” Austin laughed from underneath you. You were straddling his lap while he lay flat on the bed and you were pretty sure that maybe he wasn’t getting enough oxygen down there as it was.

“ Aus. You can’t be serious. I-I’m not a Polly Pocket sized girly, babe. I have a nice amount of meat on these here bones.” You countered, “ I’m not sure this is a good idea.”

“ What? You don’t think I can handle you? Is that it? “ His voice purred, fingers dancing up along the curve of your spine.

“ Of course not! “ You clarified, “ It’s just that…that.” You huffed trying to gather the right words together. “ I want you to be able to breathe , babe. HOW WILL YOU BREATHE?! “

You watched his face turn in amusement at your flustered state, “ Don’t you worry about that, babe. I’m a big boy. I’ll figure it out. And if not…. when they find me you tell them I died happy and stuffed in-between the sweetest place on earth.” He said, immediately you felt your cheeks flush, “ These thighs.”

“ AUS! “ You softly slapped at his chest, “ Be serious.”

He laughed ,“ I am. They’ll find me with a permanent glistening smile.”

You groaned trying to shimmy off of him but his hands at your sides stopped you. “ Uh huh. From when good ole’ Rick and Mortis set in.”

“ I’m not asking again, darling. “ You yelped when he grabbed your thighs and moved you further up his chest, close to your neck, “ Get up here.”

“ But Aus I- “ You cut yourself off with moan when you felt his hand come to fondle at your breast.

“ What was that? I’m sorry I may not have caught that.”

“ I-w-well-”

He had your virgin ass absolutely flustered.

“ Take em’ off. I want em’ off of you.” He mumbled,scooting you further and tugging at your night shorts.

Obliging, you somehow managed to rid yourself of your shorts and his shirt. At that moment it took all the courage not to fold right there.

You leaned forward against the pretty dark wood headboard to grip at its edges in a fair attempt at stabilizing yourself in your squat.

The plan had been to lower yourself down nice and slow, but leave it to your boyfriend to be an absolutely impatient brat to knock the wind out of you by slamming you down against his face.

You went to make a remark of protest but soon found that the second his tongue touched you, you’d been left unable to form long coherent sentences. A simple moan of, “ Austin!” Was all that was mustered.

He groans as he begins to eagerly lap and lick at your drenched pussy. The vibration alone makes you tighten your grip.

Using his hands he bares down pressing you further into him as you cry out from this new intense feeling. He's calculated with how he uses his tongue to tease the entrance of your opening before gliding it back to suckle at your poor throbbing clit.

The more and more sucks, the more your juices uncontrollably leak from you, until now the sounds of lewd slurping and your moans come together to echo off the walls.

“ That feels so good.” You mewl, unable to control how you begin to grind your pussy against his face.

He lifts up a little bit to mumble, “ Yeah? Am I making this pussy cry with my tongue? She talking to me, honey?” He sends a long lick up your slit making you jump.

“ Yes! Your tongue is so good, baby. It feels so good.” You cried out.

You could practically feel him smile into your pussy when he closed the gap, obviously satisfied with desensitizing you this way.

From there he really started to lay into you, when he laid his tongue completely flat on your clit you couldn’t help the pleas that spilled from your mouth, “ Yes! Yes! Yes! Just like that! Aus, PLEASE.” You began riding his face with more urgency.

A hand came to smack and grip at your ass to help you with your motion, by now your stomach had begun to build up into that all too familiar knot of delicious agony.

“ Oh shit! Oh shit! Oh shit! “ You squealed, “ Aus I’m close! I gotta get up.” You tried scrambling off him and out of his grip, out of fear he truly wouldn’t be able to breathe from how hard you were about to flood his face.

Little did you know that was all the motivation he needed to go harder, using his tongue and mouth to take a grip on your clit that outta to be illegal. He sent a series of smacks to your exposed ass to let you know that you had better not go anywhere.

Tears sprang in your eyes, “ I-I. It’s too much! “

You white knuckled the headboard as your body began to heat up and spark with your impending orgasm. “ Aus I’m about to cum all over your fucking face!”

“ That’s it, baby. Let go for me.” He moaned out against you.

Gripping your ass harder he helped grind you faster against his tongue until he felt your body begin convulsing above him, “ I’m fucking cumming! Aus! Yes! Yes! Yes! “ You hissed, feeling the floodgates overtake you.

After cleaning you up with a couple more licks and slurps, he catches your limp body and gently lowers you to lay next to him.

Through hazy pleasure ridden eyes you look over to see that previously mentioned glistening smile set across his face as he lays triumphantly next to you!

You feel the bed dip as he disappears into the bathroom and returns with two damp towels: one for you and one for him.

He goes to really clean you up before hoisting you in his arms and carrying you to the bathroom to pee.

After everything is said and done, he brings a now sleepy you into his chest, arms creating a warm cage of comfort, “ So, will I be doing that again this weekend?” His hands rub your back.

You nod and he smiles, “ That good? “

Voice cracking you whisper back, “ Could you not tell by the way I left Lake Erie on your face that it was fuckin’ amazing.”

“ Just checking. “ He laughed, “ Next time we’ll try for the Mississippi, yeah?”

_____

Next Day

Madison Square Garden

New York Rangers vs Philadelphia Flyers Game

“ I can’t believe I’m actually doing this. I’ve always wanted to go to one of these.” You squealed looking out at the crisp white ice while you were surrounded by thousands of other people.

Cup of water in hand and popcorn in lap, you’d dressed in thick wool lined jeans , a Flyers jersey, converse, and had your baseball cap to the back in spirit of your first time seeing a Flyers game in person.

Austin laughed and took a sip of the wine he’d gotten. “ I’m glad we’re enjoying ourselves. I keep forgetting you told me you were a little hockey fan. Would have never guessed.”

You laugh, “ Yeah. When I was little my Aunt dated the guy who did the sound at the games for the Blue Jackets so we always got tickets. She’d go and take us up on the weekends and I can remember just always having the best time. Ever since I’ve become quite fond of hockey. The smell of the wet ice when they redo it, the chill of the arena, the way the glass rattles when the players zip by. I love it.”

Austin noticed the way you hadn’t taken your eyes off the ice the entire time you were talking about this little passion of yours. A smile passed his face in satisfaction that he’d learned something new about you. For most of the rest of the time he got more pleasure from watching you watch the game then actually paying attention to what was going on himself.

The way your nose scrunched when a shot was missed, your little squeals when your team regained the puck, and even how you held your own and weren’t afraid to get back with surrounding audience members who may have said something to you out of the way.

This was hockey after all.

By the time halftime rolled around you were content at watching your favorite little segments.

Kid of the game, celeb look alike, and your personal favorite: The Kiss Cam.

The cliche track by Sixpence None The Richer echoed throughout the arena as you watched couples old and young peck each other and giggle for the camera.

It warmed your heart, but what happened next made it drop to your ass and roll onto the ice.

Because suddenly, your face made up in about a million pixels on the big kiss cam screen, there you and your grinning boyfriend were on display for the whole world.

People around you had begun to cheer and you could see Austin’s face was turning a shade of candy apple red.

“ Aus.” You whispered, half covering our face. The encouragement and cheering only grew louder and you felt Austin’s hand come to remove yours from your face. “ Hey. C’mon we can’t let everyone else have all the fun.”

“ Just pretend it’s you and I. Only us. Okay?” He whispered, taking your face into his hands.

You nodded and took a deep breath closing your eyes with a mixture of excitement and nerves pinging through you as your lips connected with his in a sweet little innocent kiss.

The whoops and cheers intensified around you and when you pulled away you saw the wide smile Austin had his arm around your waist and you both waved to the camera one last time.

After you were off Austin wrapped his arms around you, placing a kiss on your head, “ Always wanted to kiss a pretty girl on one of those things. Never thought I’d ever get the guts to do it. Guess dreams come true.“ He laughed.

You could still feel your heart pounding in your chest a bit thinking about how you’d replay that moment in your head for who knew how long to come, “ Yeah. They really do, they really do.”

He placed a kiss on your hand and the both of you returned your attention back to the screen just as an older couple appeared.

Eventually after some shouting, another small bag of popcorn, and twenty autographs from Austin to some fans later, the game was over, the Flyers beat the Rangers, and the two of you happily walked along to the car.

“ Home for a nap. “ Austin suggested.

“ Yes Please.” You yawned, feeling the excitement of the day beginning to catch up with you.

______

Austin’s Brownstone - 8:23pm

“ Well, Good Evening sleepy-head.” Austin greeted your groggy figure as you sat up with a pile of blankets sliding from you.

“ Evening?! “ You yawned while looking around at the dimming sky outside the big bay window in the living room. “ My gosh, babe. How long did you let me sleep? What time is it? Don’t we have reservations? “

You looked over to the loveseat where Austin had his feet propped up with a book in hand.

“ Woah. “ He held up a hand, “ Slow down. Take a breath.”

“ I let you sleep because you needed to rest, Babe. It’s about eight-twenty five right now and I called and canceled the reservations we had because truth be told I’m a little tired too. “

Your bottom lip stuck out and you went to protest but he held up a hand.

“ So, instead I thought maybe you’d want to order in. Your choice. Thai, Italian, Mexican…” He threw out the options. Nothing sounds good.

“ Do you know any good sandwich places? “

______

Forty five minutes and two wrapped hero sandwiches later…

“ Two-truths and one lie go.” You randomly said, reaching for one of his fries.

“ Hmm. Alright. Well, I once shared the same production lot with Beyoncé and met her. “ He began, “ Two, I used to come home every single day in elementary school to eat lunch with my mother, and I once played a sad tree in my acting group’s play when I was younger..”

You threw up your grease ridden hands, “ Automatically I'm gonna assume that the Beyonce thing is unfortunately untrue because I don’t think you would’ve held out on me like that. And I’m almost positive from that picture your sister showed that you were a sad bird in that play. So,I don’t know…maybe the lunch thing. I wouldn’t think an elementary school would let a kid walk home like that? Right? “

Austin smiled, “ Well my dear. Unfortunately this one you’d be wrong because all through elementary school I did in fact have a standing lunch appointment with my mother everyday.” He revealed.

“ Really?! And the school just let you go? “

He nodded, “ Yeah. We started doing it because of how shy I was. I couldn't really make friends at that age because of it, so sometimes it was hard being in school. Everyone knew everyone in town so the walk home and back was a breeze. We always ate P & J’s and watched cartoons or old westerns.” He recalled the fond memories. “ I know with work and other things at the time I’m sure her doing it wasn’t exactly ideal, but she still always made it work.”

Your heart swelled for him as you reached out to rub his shoulder.

“ Awe, Austin, that sounds so sweet. She seemed amazing. “

“ Yeah, she was.” He sighed, “ She really was.”

“ Wish I’d had a mom like that.” You sighed, “ I wish I would have had a mom period. “

As soon as the words left your mouth and you saw the look on Austin’s face, you instantly felt embarrassed.

It wasn’t like Austin didn’t know about your situation, it just wasn’t something that you had in-depth discussed before. And you also really weren’t trying to make this seem about you either. It was just a little slip of word vomit.

You backtracked, “ I mean I do have a Mom. Just, it’s rather I just…have no idea where she is. Sorta…”

Noticing you were about to say more but held yourself back, Austin encouraged you to continue, “ Hey. It’s alright. Tell me.”

“ Okay well. From what I know, my Aunt said after I turned a year my mother wasn’t really around much. Started going out and hanging around with friends all hours of the night, and she just really didn’t seem that interested in Gracie and me anymore. Even disappeared for days at a time.”

“ She left my Dad a note one night. On it she explained that she couldn’t imagine another day of being a mother. Specifically she said that it was draining something out of her that she was afraid she’d never get back. That we’d all be better off without her being there, herself included.”

“ I was only a year and some change and Gracie was almost five. And Dad did the best he could raising two girls by himself. He didn’t date much or anything really. Just was a devoted GM Plant worker and an even more devoted Dad.”

“ A couple years later he found out that she’d remarried, moved to a part of Spain, and had more children. So, he made the decision to go to court and officially file for full custody of us. Which she didn’t contest, naturally.” You continued, “ I don’t think he ever really got over it, unfortunately.”

“ He never talked about her at all. And when he passed away when I was thirteen from congestive heart failure we went to live with our grandmother in Georgia. Gracie graduated and decided to move to Texas to pursue a career in public service. And after graduation I got a scholarship to Arizona State, so my grandmother moved and then decided to travel the world.”

“ If you don’t mind me asking, has she ever tried to reach out? “ Austin questioned.

You nodded, “ Only once. Not to me though.” You clarified.

“ When Gracie got married. Somehow she’d found Gracie’s address and sent a letter. Gracie read it but never responded. And she never told me what the letter said either. Her silent way of still protecting her little sister. I guess.”

“ Would you have wanted to know what it said? “

“ I don't really know. Maybe? Maybe not? “ You answered. “ She wrote it just to Gracie. So, I'm sure there’s a reason for that.”

“ Being honest….” You started feeling your lip begin to quiver and eyes water at the incoming thought. “ I always wondered if I was the reason she left? Like maybe I was hard to take care of or if carrying me did something negative to her. I-I *sniffle* It doesn’t sound like she wanted to leave when she had Gracie, so why after me? Why didn’t she stay? “

Your vision had full on fuzzied out now and your cheeks were slick with tears, turning his head to look at you all Austin could do was feel his heart ache.

He tried to reach out but you instinctively moved away trying to cover your face, “ Don’t. It’s fine.” Your voice cracked.

He frowned, “ No it’s not, babe. You’re upset. My best girl is crying. Nothing is ever fine when my best girl is crying. It’s very far from fine actually.” He fussed moving toward you still.

“ Hey.” He cooed, while reaching over to gently grab you and pull you onto his body, “ Hey. Shhh. It’s okay. Let it out.” He encouraged, rubbing your back and placing a kiss to your head as small sobs still escaped you.

A hand went to your head to hold against him as he offered you all of his love and comfort.

After a while you’d began to settle and quiet at the warm feeling of being enveloped in his arms and calmed by his words. He hated that you were feeling this way. In situations like this it truly made Austin appreciate his mother, he couldn’t have imagined ever having any other maternal experience then what he had. He wished everyone could have had that.

“ Hey, look at me.” He cupped your face and wiped at the tears while you sniffled, “ Anyone would be lucky to have you in their life, sweetheart.”

“ I’m lucky to have you in my life.” He affirmed while making sure your eye contact never broke, tears forming in his. “ You hear me? I love you.”

You nodded, clinging to his shirt, “ I love you too, Austin.”

He smiled, “ Of course. Snot and all.” He teased making you giggle and shriek away from him.

He went to lean over and hand you the tissue box he’d snatched.

“ Now, let’s get into bed. How about a shower and a movie? Any movie you want.”

At this declaration you perked, “ Any movie? “

Now a bit skeptical, Austin still nodded, “ Any movie.”

______

“ Okay, I changed my mind. Any movie but this one.” He groaned.

“ Austin.” You mirrored his groan.

“ Fine.” He mumbled dragging you into his arms as the beginning of Lilo and Stitch played on the screen.

“ You really like this movie, huh? “ Austin chuckled into your headscarf.

“ It’s my favorite! I was obsessed when I was little. I had a lilo and stitch lunch box, bed set, and all kinds of stuff.” You explained.’

“ And have you ever been to Hawaii? “

“ Nu uh. Haven’t gotten around to it. Maybe one day.”

“ Uh huh.” Austin yawned.

Maybe one day real soon…

#daysofourlove #austin butler x reader #austin butler x black reader #austin butler #austin butler fanfic #austin butler imagine

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imaginespazzi · 1 month

Text

Part 4: The Art of Letting Go

Masterlist - Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3 - Part 5

Only know you love her when (she lets you) go

(In which a still very sadistic writer make things a lot worse but only so they can get a little bit better)

Pairing: Paige Bueckers X Azzi Fudd

Themes: Angst, Pining, Hurt with very little comfort

Words: 7.9K

TW: Car Accidents, Panic Attacks, Swearing

A/N: Hello my lovelies <3 I know I'm very, very late with this and I love you all for being so patient. I don't really know how I feel about this chapter but it is what it is. Logistical details are probably a little off but I need things to work for the plot, so try and ignore that. Per usual I did edit (very loosely and I'll probably go back over it later), there are probably typos anyways. And as always, let me know what you liked, what you didn't, and what you'd like to see in the future. Happy reading lovelies and let's get a W this weekend. <3

December 2023

A week or so after they get back from the Cayman Islands, Azzi feels like she’s been sleep-walking through life, everything around her hazy and dull. She religiously sticks to a routine of eat-study-practice-sleep. Except well, sleep isn’t really sleeping. It’s her brain conjuring images of blonde hair and blue eyes and Azzi forcing herself to wake-up from a nightmare that used to be her favourite dream.

She doesn’t tell anyone what happened, lying to herself it’s because it would be embarrassing and not because it would mean having to face the truth. Still, it doesn’t mean that her teammates can’t piece together little bits. There must be something quite sinister about the air around her, because none of her normally nosy and eager-to-help sisters try to weasel any information out of Azzi. They act like they always have, only sharing worried looks behind her back when the façade of i’m doing fine slips momentarily when she thinks no one’s watching.

And then that façade goes to hell over the span of a couple of hours.

It starts with the inevitable breakup with Zoe. At first Azzi avoids it, making up excuses as to why she can’t see her girlfriend. Selfishly, there’s a part of her that wants to keep Zoe, keep a girl who would never leave, never make her feel anything less than (or more than) just content. But it’s not fair, Azzi knows that, and it’s why she practises her it’s not you, it’s me speech to perfection in front of the mirror. When she goes to message Zoe that she's coming over, the text chain causes a pinch of guilt in her heart at the contrast between her girlfriend’s hopeful tone versus her own nonchalant one. And Azzi thinks that Zoe will never really understand just how similar the two of them are, stuck at wanting someone who would always let them down. Only, Azzi will let Zoe free but when it comes to her herself, she’s pretty sure she’s destined to be trapped forever.

It’s embarrassing to admit that Azzi remembers the apartment in Storrs that she’d visited barely a handful of times a lot more than she remembers the apartment she’s currently in, the one that belongs to her girlfriend. Zoe sits rigidly on the couch with the same reserved, guarded expression she’s had since she’d opened the door, clearly aware of what was about to happen. Her foot taps incessantly as the silence between them drags on.

“You deserve better,” Azzi says finally, keeping her eyes firmly locked on the floor.

“No,” Zoe’s voice is cold, “don’t say shit like that. It’s a cop out. It’s the shit people say to make themselves feel better-”

“Zoe-”

“Don’t be a fucking coward Azzi. Look me in the eye and say it, say exactly what you’re here to.”

Azzi doesn’t want to do any of that. She wants to crumble to the ground and let it swallow her until she’s buried so far away from the mess she’s created. But she owes Zoe this. When she does look at Zoe, there’s this look in the other girl’s eyes that Azzi had never thought herself capable of evoking in anyone and she has to swallow away the bile that rises in her throat, disgusted by her own self.

“I’m breaking up with you,” Azzi whispers. Her words linger in the air, like shrapnel after an explosion. Zoe flinches, a single tear trickling down her face.

“There it is,” the Californian says quietly, the ghost of an ironic smile playing on her lips, “I knew it was coming but damn- there it is.”

“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”

“For what-” Zoe cuts herself, “no actually don’t- don’t answer that. I think I know.”

Azzi draws in a deep breath, ready to confess, “I need to tell-”

“Please-”

“Z-”

“Please,” Zoe sobs, “please don’t tell me. I don’t wanna hear it okay? I don’t- I don’t want to hate you Azzi. It’s too much and I don’t- I just- I’m so tired of feeling so much for you when you don’t- when you feel so little for me.”

“That’s not true,” Azzi counters helplessly, her words ringing hollow to her own ears.

“Fucking hell you just ended it Azzi, you don’t have to pretend anymore. And it’s okay because I get it. You can’t feel any more than what little you do for me because- because you’ve already given the rest of it away. And it’s not- it’s not like I didn’t know you know? I only ever met you because you were crying over her. You only let me into your life because you missed her. And now you have her,” Zoe says wistfully.

It’s terrible the way everything else becomes white noise as Azzi’s ear latches on the last sentence, a sentence that couldn’t be any further away from the truth. She was prepared for the accusations, for Zoe to hurl every curse word in the book at her, but this, the unintended reminder that she was giving up on soft, sweet, gentle Zoe for something that she didn’t have, hurts far more than any words could.

“This isn’t about-”

Zoe’s quick to cut Azzi off, pushing herself off the couch they had been sharing, trying to put even more space in between them, “please do not insult my intelligence by finishing that sentence. I deserve that much at least.”

“I’m sorry.”

“I know you are because I know- I know who you are Azzi and I know you’re a good person and that’s why- that’s why I don’t wanna know okay? Whatever you did- whatever happened- just let me- just let me have this. Let me remember you as someone good- someone great,” Zoe pleads.

“If that’s what you want Zo,” Azzi answers weakly, the guilty clawing at her heart. She doesn’t think she deserves to be remembered like that, doesn’t think she’s worthy of being thought of with fondness, not anymore.

Zoe doesn’t make any acknowledgement of Azzi having spoken as she starts to pace, “I should have known. You know the day I met her this summer, I got it- the appeal- I got it immediately. She has this aura, this charm. She just- she just fucking glows you know? And she’s just- she’s this huge entity and so are you and I’m just,” she lets out a hollow laugh as she shrugs, “I’m just a girl from Stockton, California.”

“And you’re amazing,” Azzi puts up a hand when Zoe tries to cut her off again, “you are. I don’t think I’ll ever be able to thank you for what you did for me last year. You could have walked away that day and maybe- maybe one day you’ll think you should have. And I’m sorry. I’m so sorry Zoe. You do deserve better. It’s not a cop out. It’s the truth.”

Since she was younger, Azzi’s always hated endings. This time is no different. The bitter truth is that she probably won’t miss her girlfriend, but she will miss the friend that had gotten her through one of the toughest years of her life. Slowly, Azzi picks herself off of the couch and walks over to a still Zoe, squeezing her left hand once before heading towards the door.

“Azzi,” Zoe calls out, just as Azzi has one foot out the door, “I hope it works out for the two of you. You and Paige always did just seem inevitable.”

***

She blames the fact she’s currently stuck in the terrible LA traffic, with the word inevitable ringing in her ears, for the way her fingers continuously flicker over the green call button under Paige’s name. Zoe saying her name had been the first time in a week that Azzi had even let herself, in consciousness at least, think of the blonde properly. And now that it had been unleashed, whispers of Paige, Paige, Paige echo through every crevice of skull. The pain and anger that she’d been trying to shield herself from, come barraging into her heart as she’s held captive once again by thoughts of her best friend.

It would be a lie to say that Azzi hadn’t been hoping for a call or a text to come through. She’d waited two days with bated breath for a friendly quip that would lead them back to their safe haven of just pretend. Instead it was as if they were back to being who they had been before summer of 2022 all over again. Back to being nothing. But this time Azzi had been adamant that if Paige was going to cut her off again, she wouldn’t fight it, not this time. Apparently that resolve was never meant to last and Azzi feels a little pathetic with how desperately she needs to hear Paige’s voice, how desperately she wants to try again.

The traffic clears just as she presses call and maybe that should have been a sign. Azzi’s not a bad driver per say, but as her dad always said, no one’s a good driver when they’re distracted. The phone rings for too long and she should take that as her next sign and accept it as Paige not wanting to talk, but she lets it continue to ring anyway, as she turns onto a more secluded road. And then-

“Hello,” the voice is unfamiliar and Azzi doesn’t really know Paige’s teammates, beyond Caroline, that well but she’s pretty certain this one doesn’t belong to any of them.

“Hi uh- who is this?” she manages to get out as her grip tightens on the steering wheel.

“Oh um- this is Rose, Paige’s friend” comes the reply, the word friend said with a sultry lilt and Azzi feels her skin prickle. Hang up.

“Why are you answering Paige’s phone?” her tone is far more accusatory than she’d like it to be.

“She’s in the bathroom but she told me to,” Rose answers defensively.

Azzi hesitates, she doesn’t need to know more except, “does she know who called?”

Because surely if she did, if Paige knew it was Azzi on the other line, she wouldn’t let one of her likely random hookups answer the phone, surely Paige would know what it would do, how it would make her feel.

“Uh yeah- I told her Azzi called and she seemed pretty sure she wanted me to pick up.”

Maybe Paige does know what it would do, does know how it would make Azzi feel, maybe that’s the whole fucking point. Through the phone she can hear quiet footsteps walking closer, towards Rose. When Paige is close enough that Azzi can make out the sound of her breathing, can almost picture the way her chest is heaving, that’s when the tears finally fall, blurring her vision.

She doesn’t see the blinking headlights rushing towards her until it’s too late and then she’s swerving. The world around her erupts in motion and light and noise, everything spinning and spinning and spinning. For one moment, as she loses complete control of her car, Azzi thinks maybe this is it. And the most terrifying part of it, is that for a second, she’s not all that opposed to the idea of this being the end. It’s a singular image of her parents in her brain that has her regaining her senses and hitting the brakes as hard as she can. Her tires screech as her car barrels into a tree and her entire body jerks around in her car, her seatbelt leaving burn scars against her neck. Azzi feels her heartbeat going haywire, as everything comes to a halt.

“Oh my god, oh my god,” Rose’s panicked voice echoes.

“What?” and there’s Paige and even in this wreckage, Azzi’s heart stutters at the sound of her best friend.

“I think she crashed-”

“WHAT?” there’s frantic shuffling until, “Azzi? Azzi? Hello? Are you there? Fuck. Azzi are you okay? Please say something. C’mon Az. I know you’re there. Can you hear me? Please be okay. Azzi? Fuck, fuck, fuck. Azzi?”

Azzi opens and closes her mouth, trying to answer to the call of her name, but nothing comes out. She feels hot and cold all over at the same and she swears there’s a hand curled around her neck because she can’t fucking breathe.

“Azzi,” Paige says again desperately, “please say something.”

“P-Paige,” Azzi finally manages to stutter, her chest heaving as she gasps for air. There’s blood rushing to her ears and everything around her feels hazy.

“Azzi,” and that one syllable is wrapped in so much emotion, “I’m here okay, are you okay?”

No, Azzi thinks, I don’t know if I’ll ever be okay.

“I c-can’t breathe. I think” she grasps at her neck, “I th-think I’m having a panic attack.”

Paige curses under her breath, “okay, okay alright listen to me breathe okay? And try to match it okay?”

“O-okay,” Azzi whispers, pressing her head to her steering wheel as she tries to mimic Paige’s exaggerated deep breaths on the other end of the line.

“Good girl, you’re doing so well for me Azzi, just keep breathing okay,” Paige’s voice is far calmer than she probably is in reality, “just keep breathing with me okay.”

Azzi closes her eyes as she feels her chest slowly start to loosen up and lets herself be immersed by Paige’s soothing words of comfort. And for a second, it almost feels as if her best friend is right there with her. For a second, Azzi imagines that they’re on a whole other planet, just them in their little world, like it always should have been, like she’d once been so sure it would be. It’s a beautiful dream that reality is quick to gatecrash.

“Babe, is she okay?” Rose asks, and Azzi’s eyes fly open at the term of endearment. She’s not on a different planet. She’s alone. And Paige isn’t.

“I’m fine,” Azzi breathes out and then more firmly, “I’m fine.”

“Thank God,” Paige lets out a sigh of relief before her tone turns sour “what the actual fuck Azzi?”

Azzi winces at the loudness, pretty sure she might have a concussion from the way her head had crashed back into her headrest as she’d crashed into the tree in front of her.

“I’m fine,” she repeats assertedly, as everything around her slowly starts to make sense again. It’s not a lie really, at least not physically. There’s the potential concussion, and the litany of bruises she’s starting to feel all over her body but she’s pretty sure there’s nothing wrong internally. Well except for her stupid fucking heart but it wasn’t the accident that had fucked that organ up.

“You just crashed your fucking car, no you’re not fucking fine,” Paige yells, voice thick with tears.

“What the fuck do you care?” Azzi bites back, “sorry I interrupted your fucking night Paige. I swear it won’t happen again.”

She hangs up before Paige can say anything else, sitting deathly still for a second. And then she lets herself completely break apart.

***

74 missed calls from Paige

did u go to the hospital

pick up ur fucking phone

dude

azzi

this is not the time for this stubborn bullshit

PICK UP UR FUCKING PHONE

AZZI

just say ur ok at least

please

called ur mom

said u had a concussion and some bruising

thats not too bad

ur so fucking stupid

it could be so much worse

please pick up

AZZI FUCKING FUDD PICK UP UR PHONE

so u can call carol and not me ok

thats just fucking perfect

dude i feel like an accident > stupid fights

so maybe just pick up

or call me back

u wanna play this stupid game fine

ignore me for now

but i’mma be in dc for christmas

ur gonna have to talk to me

i know where u live

***

The box in Azzi’s arm feels freakishly heavy, like she’s holding the whole world inside of it. In a way, maybe she is. The walk up Paige’s dad’s driveway feels longer than it ever has and she’s fighting the urge to turn back with every step. As soon as she’d seen the vaguely threatening text message, Azzi had decided she would beat Paige to it. The night of the accident had put several things into perspective and Azzi was determined to finally grasp control of her own life.

It hasn’t been that long since the Cayman Island and so it hasn’t been that long since Azzi’s seen Paige. But when the door opens and she’s face to face with her best friend, despite the dread and anxiety that’s drowning her heart, Azzi still feels that beat of it’s cold but you always make me feel warm flutter in her chest. Paige smiles and Azzi��s arms wobble, drawing the blonde’s attention to the box in her arms.

“Still a couple of days till Christmas Az, a little early to give me my present,” Paige smirks lightly and Azzi feels a river of hot anger slide around her veins. After everything she’d put her through in the last couple of weeks, the fact that Paige could act so frivolous, as if they were still fine, makes Azzi see red.

Her voice is icier than the sheet of frost on the ground when she replies, “it’s not a Christmas present.”

Paige’s eyebrows knit together questioningly, “then-”

“It’s all your stuff I had lying around,” Azzi cuts in, trying to keep her voice confident and stable.

The smile disappears from Paige’s face as she studies Azzi's face, looking for some semblance of emotion beyond the blank stare.

“What?”

“All the things you’ve left at my house over the years, a couple of t-shirts, a hat, a book and a couple other things, they’re in this box,” Azzi says pointedly. She tries to hand it over but Paige is quick to move away from it, staring at the offending object as if it’s a ticking time bomb.

“What the actual fuck is going on Azzi?”

“I might have missed some things. Let me know if I have and I’ll mail them to you in the future,” Azzi recites clinically, keeping her demeanour stoic as possible “and of course I would like my things back as well. Not right now of course. You can mail them to me whenever it suits you.”

“Mail back your things? What? What the fuck are you going on about?” Paige asks, a bewildered expression taking on her face. She reaches out as if she wants to shake Azzi but seems to think better of it.

Azzi doesn’t say anything, as she sidesteps Paige into the house, putting in the utmost effort to make sure no part of herself brushes up against the older girl, knowing the inevitable burst of electricity when they touch would be enough to break her resolve. She places the box of Paige’s stuff on the coffee table in the living room, before turning back to Paige.

“I’m giving you your stuff back,” Azzi repeats, “I’m giving you what you want.”

“What I want? When did I ask for my stuff back?”

Azzi draws in a deep breath, fighting desperately against the screams of you don’t want this in her own head, “I’m giving you a clean break Paige. I’m letting you go.”

Saying those words feels a lot like free-falling. Her stomach lurches at the way Paige’s features scrunch up in pain and she’d never meant to do that, but Azzi’s so tired. She’s so tired of this push and pull, the way they seem to hurt each other every fucking time, the way things get so close to going right and then go wrong any way. The bitter truth of life, Azzi has forced herself to admit, is that it doesn’t matter how hard you fight, sometimes the darkness wins out anyway.

“You think-,” Paige stutters, clutching at her chest, “you think this is what I want?”

“Well isn’t it?”

“Of course n-”

“If I hadn’t called you that night would you have called me first Paige? If I hadn’t gotten into that stupid accident, would you even have texted me ever again?”

Paige’s silence is an answer in itself . And although Azzi had known it, she can’t deny that there’s a part of her that had posed the question hoping against hope that Paige would have answered it with a resounding yes of course. She thinks maybe she should be used to the singe of disappointment that burns her skin by now but she’s never been immune to Paige’s fire.

“That’s what I thought,” Azzi says quietly, “I’m tired of running after you Paige. I thought I was done after the Cayman Islands but then I- I don’t know- I don’t know why I called you that night when you- you clearly didn’t want that.”

“Azzi c’mon-”

“It’s my fault really. Because you've always been clear about it and I- for some reason- I just don’t listen. You were clear with it when you told me to go to UCLA and get out of your life. You were clear when you didn’t want me to come into your air BnB. You were clear when you told me to get out of the bathroom last summer. And when you left that night-,” Azzi pauses as Paige’s eyes widen, the words catching in her throat, “when you were gone that morning- every time you didn’t call- every time you didn’t text- you were always clear about it Paige and I- I’m sorry I didn’t listen.”

“You’re being really fucking unfair right now,” Paige accuses, “you’re mad because I didn’t want to be your fucking side whore? I’m so sorry I had more self-respect than that Azzi.”

Azzi blinks rapidly, her face still completely neutral, “excuse me?”

“You wanna blame me for those first two things, fine. But you have a whole ass girlfriend and you wanted me to be what? Just a girl you can fuck occasionally because you feel like it? Who the fuck do you think I am? I deserve so much better than that.”

“I don’t-”

“You wanna know why I left that morning?” Paige asks icily, “I woke up and the first thing I saw is your girlfriend’s fucking i miss you text. All that shit you said to me when I kissed you in LA about not wanting to be one of my groupies or whatever but what did you want me to be Azzi?”

When they were young and naive, the largest fight they’d ever had was about whether or not one of them had cheated in a game of horse. The allegations of cheater from a 15 year old Paige had seemed massive back then, but they pale in front of the accusations of cheater from a 22 year old Paige. It’s not that Azzi thinks she’s some prime example of a good samaritan and she can deal with people thinking she’s not all that, but it’s different when it’s Paige, it’s different to know that Paige could ever think so low of her.

“You really think I’d do that you? That I’d make you my sidepiece or whatever?”

“What else am I supposed to think about you fucking me while you have a girlfriend?” Paige asks exasperatedly and Azzi flinches at the repeated use of the profanity.

“Had.”

“What?”

Azzi grips the hem of her shirt, trying to focus her eyes anywhere but Paige, “I had a girlfriend. Past tense.”

“You- you broke up with Zoe?” Paige’s expression morphs from anger to confusion before finally settling on realisation.

“I never wanted you to be a side piece. You think I don’t know you deserve better than that?” Azzi rubs her temple, as she tries to keep herself steady on her feet, “I know seeing that text hurt you but it’s not like you didn’t know I had a girlfriend. But- but if you’d just waited for me to wake up, god if you’d just talked to me once instead of jumping to conclusions then-”

“Then what?” Paige breathes out and Azzi doesn’t miss the little spurt of hope that’s taken birth on the older girl's face.

“It doesn’t matter anymore,” Azzi shakes her head, “that’s also past tense now.”

The thing with Paige is that anger is her protective mechanism. When she gets a little close to losing control of her emotions, or feeling too much, it’s what she falls back on so it’s not surprising that her tone is harsh when she speaks again.

“How the fuck was I supposed to guess you were gonna break up with your girlfriend Az c’mon,” Paige takes a step towards her, “I’m not a fucking mind reader.”

“I never asked you to read my mind. I just- all I’ve ever wanted- is for you to just have a little faith in me- in us,” Azzi’s voice breaks on the last word.

“That’s not fair. I was really fucking hurt Azzi-” Paige begins, her voice pleading.

“And then you tried to hurt me back on purpose,” Azzi spits out as the façade of neutrality completely slips off, “you knew it was me calling and you had that girl pick up any way knowing exactly how it would make me feel.”

“Azzi,” baby blue eyes sparkle with tears and Azzi has to force herself to look away, because no matter how much she’s convinced that this is what needs to happen, seeing Paige break, will drown Azzi and she’s barely floating as it is.

“I don’t enjoy hurting you Paige,” Azzi says softly, “and I don’t think you enjoy hurting me but for the last couple of years, I feel like that’s all we’ve been doing and I- I can’t do it anymore.”

It’s not something she’d ever admitted out loud, or even to herself, but once upon a time Azzi used to think her and Paige would have one of those stories, one of those soft, sappy fairytale-esque stories that had no chance of an ending that wasn’t happily ever after. And she hopes that maybe in another universe, maybe they did have that. Maybe in a universe where she chose UConn and things never went wrong in the first place. Maybe in that universe, they’re happy. But in this universe, they seem to be destined for misery. And Azzi thinks the saddest tragedy of it all, is that it feels like she’s ending a story that never even really got the chance to start.

“So that’s it then, you’re walking away- you’re just- you’re fucking giving up?” Paige says bitterly, crossing her arms protectively over her chest and Azzi feels a flicker of annoyance light up against her ribcage.

“Isn’t that what you did?” she accuses, “Is that not what you do? You walk away every. single. time. because you can’t deal with things getting just a little too fucking hard. And what? I’m just supposed to wait until you come back? Or chase after you like a pathetic little puppy?”

Paige flinches at the hardness in Azzi’s tone, mouth opening and closing but nothing escaping.

“I’m so fucking tired of always being the one calling, the one showing up, the one trying. I’m so fucking tired of fighting for us when it feels like you’re fighting against me,” Azzi pauses,trying to blink away the tears she’d tried so hard to keep locked behind her eyelids, “if you wanna call that me giving up then okay, but I don’t think you realize just how fucking hard I want to hold on.”

Azzi’s not sure if it’s the way her voice cracks, or the absolute misery behind every word she says, but Paige's hard and cold expression is gone so fast it gives her whiplash. And then her Paige, the girl with the warm eyes and soft heart is back, looking at Azzi in a way that makes her want to believe in them all over again. Arms outstretched, Paige takes a step forwards and there’s nothing more Azzi wants then melt into them. It takes everything in her to step away instead. For a moment there’s nothing but them staring at each other in silence, a moment where Azzi tries to memorise everything about Paige just in case this is the last time. And then-

“What if,” Paige begins softly, “what if I entered the draft?”

Azzi looks at her in confusion, “what does that have to do with anything?”

“The Sparks have the second pick, it’s where I’m projected to go,” Paige bites at her lips, peering at Azzi through her eyelashes.

The Sparks. The Los Angeles Sparks.

“Is that what you want?” Azzi asks quietly, trying to prevent her brain from already coming up with dreams of stupid picnic dates at the park during sunset.

Paige hesitates. And it’s enough for those dreams to crumble, because Azzi knows Paige just a little too well, knows exactly what that little bit of hesitation means.

“I haven’t decided yet but if- if there was a reason that I should-”

“There isn’t,” Azzi says firmly, “it’s not what you want.”

“I don’t even fucking know what I want,” Paige argues and that doesn’t make it any better.

“Then figure it out,” Azzi yells, frustratedly rubbing her hands over her face, “I won’t deal with you fucking resenting me and running away again in a couple of years- hell in a couple of months- because you regret your fucking decision.”

“I wouldn’t-”

“Please just stop. It's done. I’ve made up my mind” Azzi begs, exhaustion flooding into her body, “just- just let this go please.”

Paige meets her eyes with a stubborn fire, “I don’t fucking want to.”

“Well tough luck because I do.”

“Azzi,” Paige pleads desperately, trying to block Azzi as she beelines for the door, but the younger girl is quick to push past her.

“Goodbye Paige.”

***

December 2024

azzi please just let me in

ur parent are saying u dont wanna see me

and i get it

but i can fix this i swear

i know u know im here

please fucking let me in

i fucked up

i know

im so fucking sorry

but dude we can fix this

just

can u just fucking let me in

i really wanna see u

i really wanna talk

can we just fucking talk

please

merry christmas az

u know what fuck u actually

didnt mean that sorry

i was just mad

u make me really fucking mad

christmas breaks almost over

i have to go back soon and ik u do too

we should talk before that

ur so fucking stubborn

but so am i

im not giving up

i won’t

January 2024

i miss you

ur really fucking annoying

not texting me back

but its fine

i’ll just fucking spam

i had an ok day today

practice was kinda ass

not me tho

i was great

as always

bet i made more threes than you did

bro im watching ur game

and

what the fuck kinda airball did u just throw up

get in the gym az jfc

oh that was a good pullup

not better than mine

but decent

been a fucking month azzi

just fucking call me back

or text me idk

i miss u

sooooooooooo

hows ur day

good? good.

hows mine?

oh kinda shit

lets see

we lost in front of all these uconn legends

to their fucking rival

everyones saying uconn fucking sucks

some people are saying i suck

they might not be completely wrong

now would be a good time to reply az

like maybe make me feel better

fuck u actually

what the fuck am i doing

idk if u even read these

February 2024

idk maybe i should stop

like maybe only fucking psychos do this

but idk bro

i feel like ur gonna text me back eventually

well sc was a shit show

i mean we knew it but holy shit

i really wanna talk to you about it

it’d mainly just be me fucking yelling

and u giggling

fuck i miss ur laugh

i miss you

idk if u just ignore these

so idk if ur gonna even see this

but

i wanted to tell you first

before u saw it from somewhere else

im staying at uconn

u were right

i didnt want to leave yet

i want my 4 years

but

just dont think it means i didnt mean what i said

that i dont wanna be in la with u

i do

its not about that

i just need to do whats best for me

and thats staying here

fuck

i get what u meant now

u didnt pick ucla over me

fuck fuck fuck

im sorry az

is this how u felt

when i didn’t text u back

because it’s actually fucking hell

i miss you so fucking much dude

i’m so sorry

i’m really fucking sorry azzi

for all of it

please just call me back

March 2024

last pac-12 tournament mvp!!

dude i’m so proud of you

we also won

idk if u heard

it wasnt easy either

everything just always fucking goes wrong

fucking pisses me off

but oh well

u know i dont even like texting

idk how many messages ive sent u

its gotta be hundreds atp

insane shit on my part

tf is wrong with me

did u see the bracket

see u in the final 4 azzi

April 2024

i fucking told u

i told you id see u in the final four

fucking meant it

fuck

gonna kick yalls ass

revenge szn

we’re built different in march

cleveland here we fucking go

but also

cant avoid me anymore

i cant fucking wait to see you az

***

UConn 87 UCLA 84

There’s six seconds left to go and UCLA has control of the ball. The game today had been completely different from the on down in the Cayman Islands. That one had featured a UCLA team that had dominated from start to finish versus a UConn team still reeling from multiple injuries. This time around, UCLA seemed to have lost some of their shine and UConn had been on a tear. She would never give Paige the satisfaction of knowing it but her stupid goading, her incessant smirking because UConn seemed poised to win handedly, had gotten in Azzi’s head for most of the game. The fourth quarter had seen UConn enter with a 11 point lead that had held study until the last two and a half minutes when something had finally clicked for Azzi.

“Told you, you should have fucking come to UConn,” Paige had sneered while casually dribbling the ball and that had been enough to break Azzi out of whatever funk she’d been in. All of her anger and frustration at Paige seemed to culminate into that one moment as she’d swiped the ball straight from Paige’s hands, narrowly avoiding a foul. An easy steal-and-score layup was followed by two signature three pointers, created by her team’s defence, and suddenly the lead had been cut down to three. On the other side, Muhl had been called for an offensive foul and immediately Coach Close had called for a timeout to advance the ball.

When both teams get back on the court, Azzi, with her competitive streak in full control of her emotions, relishes in the way Paige’s face is contorted up in frustration. But it isn’t just this game that has Azzi irritated. Paige had been relentless since both teams had landed in Cleveland in trying to corner Azzi. She’d known it was gonna happen since she’d read the text but still Azzi had hoped that maybe the blonde would just let it go, would understand just how much Azzi didn’t want to have to deal with this. Because seeing Paige hurts. All the missing and yearning of the past few months seemed to have blended into this ball of tight hot pain that had burst the minute Paige had smiled at Azzi. She knows Paige means well, and it’s taking everything in her to ignore the part of her that’s secretly enamoured by how hard the point guard is trying finally, but Azzi just can’t do it again. She can’t let Paige in again and then spend every other second scared that Paige will run away again.

The whistle blows and Charisma gets ready to inbound the ball. The play call had been to just get it to Azzi but it’s clearly one that UConn had anticipated, because she finds herself swarmed with Paige and Muhl both trying to make sure she doesn’t get the ball. Instead, it’s Kiki who gets the ball and the countdown starts, as Azzi fights to get herself free, running off of screens, to get herself open on the three point line. It takes too much time and they don’t have any more timeouts left. Kiki throws it inside to Lauren who misses the layup but gets her own rebound and somehow the ball finally finds its way into Azzi’s hands. And with barely a second left to go, and Paige’s hand firmly in her face, Azzi throws up a prayer. The arena goes deathly silent as the ball hits the back and then circles every inch of the rim before spilling over the edge and falling straight into Edwards’ hands.

The crowd erupts in deafening cheers as the UConn bench rushes to the court, jubilantly hugging each other with Paige in the middle. Azzi blinks rapidly, refusing to be caught shedding a single tear on camera. Her teammates look distraught and Azzi feels disappointment curling into every crevice of her skin she’d almost had it. In the grand scheme of things she knows that, that shot would have only guaranteed overtime and not a win but still, it wouldn’t have meant a loss. And she knows this one isn’t completely on her either but it doesn’t mean that she doesn’t feel the burden of it on her shoulders any way.

But despite it all, seeing Paige’s bright smile stretch all over her beaming face as she celebrates with her team, soothes the sting of the loss just a little bit. Azzi still remembers late night calls and Paige’s broken voice too well, her brain imprinted with the misery of a girl who had just wanted to play the sport she loved and couldn’t. And even if everything between them resembles the remnants of an earthquake, Azzi can’t help but be just a little bit happy for Paige.

The handshake line is better this time around with no one being unnecessarily hostile. One team is too happy to care and when Muhl briefly hugs her, Azzi can’t help but be a little shocked by the affection. Her team is too despondent to be mad, and Angela briefly nods at Paige when shaking her hand, and gets a reassuring grin in return. Azzi has to force herself not to run away, if only for decorum’s sake, once she and Paige finally get to each other. Trying to keep herself steady, she reaches out her hand to counter Paige’s outstretched arms. The smile falls a little bit from Paige’s face as a more resigned expression takes its place.

“Good game Bueckers,” Azzi manages to muster out.

The last name stings but Paige does her best to not let it show, “good game Az.”

***

When there’s a knock on the door to her hotel room a little bit after 10pm, Azzi knows exactly who it is. The look that Charisma gives her as she goes to open it, suggests that she does too.

“Oh thank fucking god, I thought maybe y’all left already,” and there it is, Paige voice echoing through her room and from where she’s perched on the edge of bed, her feet dangling over the side, Azzi catches a brief glimpse of the UConn point guard.

“Had a little bit of a transportation issue. We’re not leaving til tomorrow morning,” Charisma explains, “what are you doing here Paige?”

Paige shuffles her feet nervously at the doorway, peering over Charisma’s frame in the doorway to catch sight of Azzi, “can I talk to Azzi?”

“First you kick my ass in the final four, and now you wanna kick me out of my own room?” Charisma asks, voice light but there’s an edge of seriousness to it.

“I-uh-”

“Az,” Charisma turns to Azzi with a questioning look, and Azzi sighs at having all the attention on her, “you wanna talk to her?”

Say no. Say yes. Her head fights with itself. And for the last few months, Azzi’s done well with listening to the logical part of her brain, diligently sticking to letting go. But that had only been easy to do because Paige hadn’t actually been there. Now that she is, with bright hopeful eyes fixed on Azzi, well, this time the emotional side wins out. She nods her head in yes at Charisma and Paige seems to glow all over.

“You’re lucky it’s me and not Angela or Kiki or any of the other girls,” Charisma warns, “but I swear to god Bueckers if I come back and there’s a single tear-”

“Then you have my permission to fucking murder me,” Paige vows, her face a paragon of sincerity.

Charisma nods once, stepping aside to let Paige in. The Bruin’s point guard looks at Azzi once more for confirmation and then, satisfied by the small smile Azzi shoots at her, she leaves the room, letting the door shut behind her. And then it’s just Paige and Azzi and the myriad of unspoken thoughts that seem to always linger between them.

“Hi,” Paige says softly.

Azzi stares up at her with tired eyes, “shouldn’t you be celebrating or something?”

“Still one more game to go. Gotta lock in for that first.”

“Then go do that. What are you doing here?”

Paige flinches at the harsh tone and Azzi feels a wave of guilt come over her. She doesn’t mean to be so hostile but she’s scared that if she gives in just a little, all of her will go tumbling down.

“Sunday is the most important game of my life,” Paige says quietly.

“I know- I know it means a lot to you.”

“It does,” Paige nods, as she takes a step forward, hesitating for a second, before she drags a foot stool over, so she can sit right in front of Azzi, “will you stay for it?”

“That’s not-,” Azzi sucks in a deep breath, her senses muddle by having Paige so close to her again, “I thought I was clear about- about us.’

“You were but I thought I was clear with my texts,” Paige counters.

“Paige please.”

“I just-,” Paige pauses, leaning forward and staring intently at Azzi, “I don’t know how the national championship is gonna go. I don’t know if we’re gonna win or lose but I just- I know that no matter what happens, I want you there. Because if I’m gonna end up fucking crying, then I want it to be on your shoulder. And if I’m gonna end up celebrating, I want it to be in your arms. I just- I just want you there. With me. Always.”

Everything else floats away and for a moment, all Azzi knows is Paige, and the warmth that reverberates through her body at the earnestness in those words. If she could, she’d capture that feeling in a bottle and keep it forever. Because moments are fleeting. And when her brain catches up to her heart, and that voice in her head is back to echoing it won’t last, Azzi feels cold all over again.

“You don’t believe me,” disappointment echoes in Paige’s voice; she’s always been a little too perceptive of Azzi’s emotions, “you think I don’t mean it?”

“I think you mean it now. I don’t think you’ll mean it forever,” Azzi shrugs.

Paige is quiet, nerves on full display, as she cautiously reaches for Azzi’s hands with both of her own, an audible sigh of relief floating out of her lips when Azzi lets her.

“I know I fucked up,” she begins quietly, thumb caressing Azzi’s palms, each trace sending jolts of electricy through the younger girl’s body, “like really fucked up and I get why you think that. I get why- why you’re so scared to believe me. And I’m so sorry. I’m so fucking sorry.”

A teardrop rolls down Paige’s cheek, falling onto their intertwined hands, and Azzi feels herself flinch, her own eyes beginning to glisten.

“If I could go back in time, I’d change so many fucking things. I’d go back to the beginning- back to your room the night before you went to LA and- and I’d tell myself to shut the fuck up. I’d tell you that I supported you- that I understood that you weren’t choosing UCLA over me- and I’d- I’d tell you that it didn’t matter how many fucking miles away from me you were- we’d survive it. But I can’t- I can’t change the past. I can’t change that we fought. I can’t change that- that I was a fucking idiot for ignoring you for a year. I can’t change that I was a dumbass for leaving that morning.”

Tears are freely streaming from both of their eyes now as they grip each other’s hands tightly. There’s something cathartic about finally being able to cry, about finally being able to mourn the loss of what could have been together.And it feels a little bit like healing.

Paige looks up at Azzi through watery eyelashes as she continues to speak, her voice wrecked with emotion, “and I’m not gonna make promises about how I’ll never do shit to hurt you again because god knows I can be really fucking stupid.”

They let out simultaneous giggles at that and Azzi can feel something in herself unravelling.

“But what I can promise is that if you let me, every day- every fucking day that I live- I will try. To not hurt you. To make it up to you. To fix this. To fix us. And I can promise, that I will never ever fucking run away from you again. I know- I know it’s gonna be hard but I swear- I fucking swear- that I will stay right here and face it with you.”

“Paige,” Azzi whispers helplessly. It’s everything she’s wanted to hear and it’s too much. The voices in her head are too loud again, screams of she’ll hurt you, she always does, let her go colliding with shouts of it’s Paige, it’s your Paige, hold on to her.

“You said- you said you were tired of fighting alone but you never- you never have to do that again because- because I’m here now. Fuck- Azzi I’m here. And I know- I know there’s so much we have to talk about and so much we still have to fucking deal with. But we can do that- we can- we can deal with anything. Because it’s us. Paige and Azzi. We can do anything. Together.”

Paige presses her forehead to Azzi’s, pulling their interlocked hands to her chest. They’re breathing in sync and Azzi can feel the thrum of Paige’s heart beat against her fingertips. Azzi’s eyes close of their own accord, as Paige’s lips brush over hers, her next words coming out in a breathless whisper.

“Believe in me- believe in us just one more time, please.”

#pazzi #paige bueckers #azzi fudd #wcbb

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respectthepetty · 4 months

Text

10 QL Girls I Want Carnally

Because @twig-tea hit me with the tag in their 10 QL People I Want Carnally list sprinkled with women as @negrowhat requested, let me slide up in here to show some appreciation for only the ladies because the amount of GLs we have leaves me thirsty, and these women look like a beautiful stream in the dusty desert.

Honorable Mention - Namtan's Characters [Pluto]

I don't understand the plot of this upcoming series. Namtan is playing twins and one or both of them love May (played by Film). Full disclosure here, I don't give a fuck about the plot because I'm going to watch it regardless. I'm always showing up for Namtan (and Film and Clize). When I'm being offered beautiful women in a GL plot, I do not question the gifts God bestows on me.

Honorable Mention - Jung One [She's Makes My Heart Flutter]

Fucking Korea and its short ass shows! I only had this precious babygirl for one hour, and I would murder for her. I would treat her so well that she would never feel nervous about another thing in her whole life. She is like Jim from Moonlight Chicken, just trying to help her niece and run her bar, but I'll be like Wen and WORK FOR FREE because that's how much I want to be in her bed warming her up at night. Money ain't the only way to pay me for my services.

Hydration Station

Maya & Rose [Laws of Attraction]

Choke me. Maya AND Rose are my ideal throuple with me being the third. Silvy had me hot and bothered in her scenes with Joong and New in The Warp Effect (bisexual reawakening), and Organ had me hot for mommy in Never Let Me Go, so Laws of Attraction giving me both in a Be Gay, Do Crime plot was heaven sent. Watching them manipulate and beat up men, knowing they were going home to each other is the energy I need from all my GL plots.

Yuna [Semantic Error]

She rides a bike and has beanies for every occasion. She'd let me wear her hoodies. She'd let me wear her beanies. She let me ride her bike. She'd let me ride her. Her entire demeanor lets me know what's up without her even having to open her mouth, and I've already signed up for a two-month subscription before I even approach her. Whatever she wants to do, I'm down whenever including going down wherever.

Tee [GAP]

Let me say this with my full chest "FUCK, SAM!" If I was Mon, as soon as Tee would've asked my name, it would have been "Sam, who?" because TEE COULD GET IT! I'd let Tee fuck me in front of all her friends and God on that table. Tee's game was unmatched. No hate to Sam being inexperienced, but Tee obviously knew thangs and was more than willing to share her knowledge, anytime, any day, anyway. *bites knuckles*

Phai [My Dear Gangster Oppa]

I don't fuck with cops. But . . . girl definitely knows how to use handcuffs. And the way she always told Muffin to shut up did things to my sacral chakra that told me that even though I don't fuck with the police, I would 100%, without a doubt, fuck the police(woman).

Proud [7 Project]

This is going to be a theme in this list because I don't just want Proud from 7 Project, who deserved so much better than that horrible story. I want Samantha, the person who played Proud. Sammy has been in everything for a solid decade now. She deserves the lead already, and I deserve to watch her and those beautiful lips of hers make out with another girl again! 2024, do me and my girl right.

Luna [Sleep with Me]

She has problems sleeping. Like an actual medical diagnosis. Not even trying to take away from the seriousness of her condition but . . . I've heard intensive physical activity is good for sleep. I'd be more than willing to test this scientific theory out by fucking all night long. It couldn't be just once though. In order to prove a theory, we'd have to do it a couple of times. I'm great at pulling all-nighters and being an enthusiastic participant for *science*

Cher [GAP]

GAP gave me so many beautiful women, and all of them were mean to Sam. Blessed. But my favorite Mean Girl was Cher. I had her for only a few seconds, but I would leave my SO on vacation if I saw her walking through the resort. Her AND her girlfriend could get it. Call me. Beep me. If you wanna reach me.

Ray [Club Friday]

This bitch was crazy. And I. Loved. It. But playing crazy is apparently what this actress does best.

As Ray, she was wildin' out trying to have a baby between her husband, her husband's boyfriend, and her ex-girlfriend, and as Anthika in Midnight Museum, she was wildin' out trying to resurrect the savior. And you know what? I would proudly stand next to her and commit queer wrongs every day instead of demanding she come to her senses if it meant she was making me come every night. Ooookay.

Mayris [The Sign]

Is she open to a two-night stand with a girl? I don't know, but I'm sure the hell gonna try to persuade her.

Ink [Bad Buddy]

There is a reason everyone loved her in that show. In Magic of Zero, Pa was trying her damndest to get Ink to remember her, and girl, same. If I had a girl like Ink, I would be the brattiest bitch. I'd pout until she gave me all of her attention. I'd be pissy if she even looked at someone else. I'd want her all to myself and she'd have to lose her job because I'd keep her in the bed ALL DAY. Well, not the bed. We could pull a Pat and Pran and fuck on the couch, the kitchen counter, and outside after drinking.

The One to Rule Them All

Sine Inthira, the person, not the character.

I want this woman carnally. She could tell me to shut up in front of my friends and God, and I WOULD DO IT! She could say something that went against all my feminist beliefs, and I would not give one fuck. I would ruin my life for this woman. I would be peak toxic for this woman. Why The Eclipse cast her as the teacher and tried to make me feel bad for Khao's character was the rudest thing to ever happen in my bisexual existence, but I know where my heart lies because I was telling Ayan to shut the fuck up and let my beautiful angel speak.

LOOK AT HER! If y'all ever hear of an American sitting in a Thai jail after chasing after this woman, know that American is me because my ass will not be sane if I see her in person.

I'm only tagging one person in this list of women I want carnally.

💙Daddy💙

@dribs-and-drabbles, I'd love to know who you want helping you break in that bed after you move it in this weekend. You've been so focused on shared clothing when all I want to know is whose do you want to take off.

#tag game #multi bl #I love the ladies #and I thirst after them too #love to know what your type is #so I could be it

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itsrorysstuff · 2 months

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hey baby, can i request julien x jealous!gf reader angst to fluff? thank u sm ♡

I blushed when you called me baby 🤭 (do it again) anything for you.

RPF

Jealous!gf x Julien

It gets hard watching my girlfriend make out with someone who’s not me, especially when they do it so publicly. The hate is the worst, people on the internet say the meanest things “she’ll never look at y/n like that” or “Lucy and Phoebe are better for her anyway”it was starting to feel like that too. I mean I trust my girlfriend, I trust Phoebe and Lucy too, but it’s so damn hard watching it happen after every show. To make matters even worse, Julien and I had barely said anything to each other since tour started. I knew she was busy, and she made time for me when she could, I just don’t know what to make of it anymore. My head raced constantly with anxious thoughts, did she still love me? Did she still want me or want me on this tour?…did she still think I was beautiful?

I want her to absorb all of this love though, she deserves the whole world, who am I to stop her from receiving such love from people who adored her almost as much as I did. On the other hand, I missed my girl. And maybe selfishly, I thought that outweighed the other things. So I overthought it some more, meticulously planning out every word I’d say to her if and when I decided to bring this up.

One night, after watching a particularly heavy “Salt In The Wound” make out, I decided I’d had enough. Getting angry on the inside but trying to stay cool on the outside. Thoughts like “does she even consider me while she’s out there? Do I even matter to her in this circumstance? Did she read the hate I got? If so, did she just not care?” All thoughts were interrupted by a sweaty julien pressing into my side. “Hi baby, what’d you think?” She asked, I wondered if she even noticed this was the first words she’d said to me all day. I pushed it aside though, telling myself I had to talk myself down “it was amazing as normal” i said with a forced smile on. She looked at me weirdly “thanks…ready to go?” I nodded and took het hand as she lead me to the car. The car ride was yet again, silent. More thoughts came running through my head, it’s like I couldn’t stop them. Did she miss me like I missed her?

When we got back to the hotel julien immediately went into the bathroom to shower, I just sat down hunched over on the bed. Before I knew it she was out and I was still anxiously sitting and staring at the wall. Suddenly, words came out, I couldn’t help myself “Julien we need to talk.” I don’t know if I regret it or not, but she looks scared. “Okay…what’s up sweetheart?” She said, using a nickname she usually only used to soften me up. I sighed, “feel free to tell me I’m a selfish bitch, cause I feel like one, but this has to come off my chest. You’ve been neglecting me completely. I know you’re busy on tour, that’s fine and I’m so proud of you j, I really am. But it’s come to the point where you say 2 sentences to me per day, 3 if I’m super lucky. And it doesn’t help at all that you make out with your friends, but not me. Especially so publicly, do you understand how much hate I get from that action alone? And usually it wouldn’t bother me but under these circumstances…” I blurted it all out, so quickly I’m not sure she caught it all. She looked surprised, mouth hung slightly open as I said “what I’m trying to say is, do you still love me?” I asked, completely seriously. “Baby-what? Of course I love you. God of fucking course I do. I love you more than anything in the world. I-i I’m so sorry you even had to ask that” she said, pressing a kiss to my lips as a tear rolls down my cheek. “I’m so sorry my love, I’m so so sorry.” She said as she kissed my face “I’ll do so much better for you I promise, I never want you to question my love for you. It’s infinite my sweet, beautiful girl.” She said. “I love you so much. Thank you for understanding.” I responded. “Of course. You know you can always talk to me. I’ll work on talking to you more, I promise. And as for the hate, I’m putting out a statement on mine and the boygenius instagrams tomorrow” “you really don’t have to do that much it’s not-“ and than she cut me off with a kiss to my lips. “It’s a big deal. I don’t want people hating on my girl.”

#julien baker x reader #julien baker fanfic #julien baker fluff #boygenius x reader

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mins-fins · 7 months

Text

OCEAN EYES (S.HB)

SUMMARY . . . you'd never really be his first choice, or the person he'd like to be seen with, only she would, even if hanbin professed his love for you, it was never really true.

PAIRING . . . sung hanbin x male!reader

GENRE . . . angst

WARNINGS . . . insecurities, bullying, mentions of bruises, hanbin is manipulative, reader deserves better

WORD COUNT . . . 2.2k

NOTES . . . um hi… this has been in my drafts for a while and this is one of my only free days so have this as a sorry for not posting for a while :)) (except it's insanely angsty anyways)

"i love you".

if those words weren't the biggest lie you've ever heard, you don't know what is.

you like to assume that your not boring, because if you were that boring hanbin would barely glance your way, he wouldn't even think of talking to you, kissing you. sung hanbin shouldn't be interested in you, it makes no sense.

there are thousands of other people who deserve hanbin, that fit better with him, that aren't as antisocial as you, that aren't shut ins that hide during school in fear of being bullied, that aren't so embarrassing that their partner feels the need to kiss a girl to hide you from the public eye.

hanbin is popular, there's no doubt about that. he knows everybody, everybody knows him, everybody loves him, and you can't blame any of those people. is there anything hanbin is bad at? he seems to have no flaws, he's always the first one to volunteer, the first one to help others, the first one people think of when they say the word "kind".

hanbin and his perfect smile, his perfect laugh, his perfect voice, his perfect personality, his perfect EVERYTHING.

you'll never know how you scored him.

and honestly, you wouldn't be surprised if he just up and left you.

jealousy is a bad thing, your mom always told you growing up, you shouldn't let it consume you, y/n, but that's so difficult to do whenever you see hanbin kissing her in the halls, running his hands through her hair and telling her that she's the only girl in the world.

you have to hand it to him, his impersonation of a straight person is on point.

you get hanbin for the most part, his beautiful reputation would be shattered if anyone found out that he was secretly seeing the weird kid from class b. you'd do the same if you were in his shoes, because no one wants to be seen with the weird kid.

still, it's difficult to not feel your heart shatter every time you see the two of them together, looking so perfect and happy, you should be angry, but in the end you just feel depressed, because hanbin would never display his love so publicly for you like that.

just hearing him talk to her makes you want to burst into tears, because why can't it be you? why can't it be you who gets to experience love from hanbin like that? why is he ashamed to be seen with you? why can't just be seen as something other than the weird kid so that for once, he won't feel ashamed about loving you?

maybe it's better this way, you say in your mind.

but you know it's not, y/n, he doesn't really love you, and you know that, he's just dragging you around because he feels bad, he pities you.

you always try your best to avoid those thoughts when they blast in your head. you know they're right, that it's true. if hanbin loved you, would he even care what other people think? it makes no sense that he fears being seen with you even though everyone would still love him regardless.

every time you look at him, your eyes holding a strong look of fondness, all you can think of is how he looks at you behind closed doors. you always feel your breath hitch when he walks past you in the hallway, and he pretends he doesn't know you, doesn't even regard your existence.

the first few times were okay, you could deal with him avoiding eye contact with you, the eye rolls did make you frown a bit, and so did the snickers, but hanbin loves you, he'd never do anything to intentionally hurt you.

sometimes, you don't get how you forgive him, especially in the worst of situations.

like last week, it was like every other week, you did your best to avoid people who'd potentially punch you in the face, because it had become a staple in your life at this point to do that.

but alas, you have absolutely shitty luck.

it didn't take long for you to get cornered, smashed against a locker, and have a bloody face in the spam of a few seconds. it was painful, yes, but all you could do was wince, every time you did try to defend yourself, you'd get in more trouble than the people that picked on you first.

most people who saw the scene walked past it, or took a photo, or laughed, or just ignored you, and you honestly expected it, but your heart still broke at the way no one thought to help you.

but your heart practically stops when hanbin walks around the corner, and by the look on his face, his does too.

he pauses in his steps, his face practically paling at the sight. he knows that you get horribly bullied everyday, he can tell by the bruises that show up on your body every now and then, but he never says anything in specific about it.

the boys beating you up stop for a second, they're faces paling as soon as they see hanbin. hanbin advocates for no bullying, he was a spokesperson for that very assembly, and they just knew they were in big trouble.

you look to hanbin, tears in your eyes as you wipe the snot running down your nose. he doesn't look over at you, shutting his eyes as he takes in a deep breath. "can you two move? your standing in front of the staircase".

you let out a small gasp, but hanbin's face remains unmoving, the two boys bullying you obediently move out of the way, and so do you. hanbin doesn't spare you a glance, and just walks ahead, making his way down the stairs.

you see? he left you, he doesn't care.

you could barely even pay attention as the nurse was patching up your bruises, all you thought about was how hanbin disregarded you, walked past you like you were nothing, ignored your helplessness and went on with his day like he had nothing to lose.

"you know y/n, i wouldn't even be mad if you began hitting back again" the nurse comments, wiping rubbing alcohol on your bruise as she always does.

"i don't wanna be like the aggressor" you whisper, too hurt to speak loudly.

you wanted to ask hanbin about it, you were screaming in your mind to ask him about it, especially as you lied in his arms later that evening, listening to the random videos he was watching on his phone.

you were about to ask, when hanbin instead interrupted you.

"you know i don't want to hurt you, right?" he says, and you want to punch him, so bad. he tilts your chin up with his index finger, and this time he doesn't avoid eye contact with you. "you really are important to me, y/n, i was just very confused in that moment, i had no idea what to do".

lies, he's such a liar.

you hate the way you always fall for his words, you hate the way he can always easily coax you into thinking what he did wasn't bad, you wanted to punch yourself for forgiving him, because your so stupid thinking those words have any real meaning.

it's just an excuse, he wants an excuse for ignoring you, he wants an excuse for dismissing you like you were nothing.

you open your mouth to respond, but hanbin's hands run through your hair, and you feel a tear stream down your cheek, you didn't even know why your crying. stupid emotions, stupid—

hanbin presses a thumb to your cheek, wiping the tears from your cheek. "no need to cry, pretty" he whispers, giving you nothing but a small peck. "you know i love you, right?"

you barely nod, just laying your head down onto his chest, you hate that you find comfort in the way his hands wrap around you, and how he plants a kiss on your head. you take a deep breath, trying to calm yourself down.

fake fake fake fake everything.

the way everything unfolds should be enough to you, because someone who loved you would never do that to you would never do that, would they?

but he hugs you, and comforts you, and whispers sweet words into your eyes whenever you break down.

but he does all of those things for her as well.

and well— you feel bad for her, yeah you still do feel jealousy running through your veins, but she doesn't deserve hanbin, she deserves better, not only because he's cheating on her with.. you, but he's such a fucking fake, and you can't fathom how heartbroken she's gonna feel when she figures out everything about you two.

and maybe, for the sake of her, doing this would be a much less painful task.

"do you love me?"

a week after the whole bullying incident, you ask hanbin. he pauses, turning off his phone and looking over at you. the look on his face suggests that he's humored, he finds it funny that you have the confidence to ask such a question. "what kind of question is that y/n?"

you can never identify what kind of tone hanbin holds these days, the only thing you can really tell are his expressions, and it hurts because all you see are grimaces and snickers, no lovely expressions like the ones you stare at him with.

"just, answer it" your voice is shaky, and hanbin is clearly resisting the urge to laugh at how pathetic you look at the moment. he pretends to think about it, but you already know what he's gonna say, because those are the same words he uses all the time when you ask this question.

"what makes you think i don't?" bingo. "i only truly have eyes for you".

his words are such a pain to hear, because after everything he's done to you, after letting you get beat up and not doing anything, he still has the audacity to say that like it's gonna change what he's done to you.

"your such a.." you pause, the words seemingly stuck in your throat, you feel like your about to throw up, you don't wanna say it, but at the same time, you know this had to happen eventually.

"liar".

hanbin pauses again, a look of surprise colors his face as he stares back at you. he wasn't expecting that, because he knows you, and you'd never say that to him, because you love him, and you always told him that.

"ah, what's up with you today, babe?"

the way those words are said makes you want to punch him in the face.

"you don't love me" you say, raising your voice in the slightest. "maybe you did in the beginning but now, you just enjoy having me around, you.. you go around acting so sweet and amazing with your perfect fucking girlfriend and then you leave me to get beat up in the hallways? what kind of person does that?"

the surprising thing about this is how you don't burst into tears while saying this, you somehow keep your cool, especially with how hanbin's face stays unmoving for the most part. he then frowns, a look of faux sadness on his face.

"is that really how you see me? after everything i've done for you?"

"you don't like me!" you exclaim, raising your voice. "the only reason you keep me around is because it makes you feel better about yourself! i could get murdered on the street tomorrow and you wouldn't help me!"

hanbin chuckles, shaking his head, he doesn't move closer to you, because frankly, he thinks you look ridiculous. "your really saying this now? it'd be less funny if you told me a few months ago but to be honest, it humors me just how long it took you.."

your no longer down, your pissed off, you loved hanbin, but he didn't love you, you were just his charity case, someone he kept around to feel good, like he was doing some sort of good deed by dating you.

"you need to go".

hanbin smiles, a fake smile. you know this won't affect him, none of this matters in the end because the only person that suffers is you, hanbin is still going to have a girlfriend, his perfect life, and everybody loving him at the end.

tomorrow when you wake up, you'll still be the weird kid with no friends, that everyone ignores and purposefully avoids.

"alright then".

you close your eyes; and when you hear hanbin shut the door, you sink into the couch and sob. you hate that your crying, because you should feel proud of yourself after breaking up with him, he did nothing to deserve you, and you wish that you weren't crying over him.

he doesn't deserve your tears.

of course, in the back of your head, you had a feeling that his love for you was never true,

but it hurts so much more facing it.

#sung hanbin #zerobaseone #zb1 #zb1 sung hanbin #zb1 hanbin #zb1 imagines #zb1 scenarios #zb1 drabbles #sung hanbin x reader #sung hanbin imagines #𑁍 ࣪˖ 𓂃 isa's works!

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i-jus-wanna-writehappy · 6 months

Text

Abundance

incubus!Gojo Satoru x black!fem!reader

Warnings/Content: 18+ only cursing, praise kink, some spit (not spit play), blowjob, toy usage, joint (that isn’t relevant until part 2), deep throat, cum eating (both), dirty talk, pet names (baby, pretty girl), porn with plot

Author’s Note: well fuck. I got sick as hell and it pushed back all of my kinktober work. I’ll still publish them all, they’ll just be coming out in through November. Anyways, I hope you enjoy and let me know if you’d like to be tagged in Part 2

Part 1 | Part 2

•••

You gnaw on the skin at the edge of your thumb nail nervously as you look at the shoddy, yet well intentioned miniature hut you’ve built with the help of YouTube, 20 minutes of sleep, and the 4 shots of tequila you guzzled to quell your anxieties after said 20 minutes. If we’re being honest, it doesn’t seem like the kind of offering a deity of abundance would really like, but it’s the best you could do, and you cross your fingers and snap a picture, hoping it’ll be enough.

Not even 5 minutes after sending your photo does your phone ping with Shoko’s personalized ringtone.

It’s kinda plain. Put some flowers or something. Or a money tree… duh

You grumble at the message, but still jump up and throw your feet into two mismatched shoes before sneaking out to your apartment courtyard and ripping some of the flowers from the display out front. Crouched down, you check to see if anyone is around again, the jumbo beads on the ends of your braids clatter and nearly erase any semblance of stealth that you have as you rush back into your apartment, not even breathing until your back is flat against your door.

Looking at your cozy one bedroom with fresh eyes, you notice that not only is your hut plain, but it’s also sitting on your coffee table where no sun can reach it. Taking your thumb back into your mouth, you kick off your fuzzy slide and wedge sandal and get to arranging in a way that will hopefully make Shoko proud.

She’s an expert by zero means at all. She really just sent you the first abundance ritual post that popped up on Pinterest after listening to you freak out about how long you and your colleagues have been striking at the office and what are you going to do with only a side hustle and a half? You’re both as knowledgeable as each other when it comes to summoning anything but a free drink at a club, but only one of you thought to check Pinterest and now maybe the other one is looking for some validation because even if it’s shoddy, she worked really hard and would like to hear that she did good.

So though you send the photo of your hut, now preciously decorated with maybe too many flowers and sitting in the sun with only a “Fuck you, she’s pretty 🥹”, Shoko is quick with her reply, knowing exactly what you’re looking for.

Much better, very pretty. You did a pretty good job honestly.

The praise has a smile growing wide on your face, you did do a pretty good job for your first go at it. You stayed up all night and even added a few symbols (sigils? Fuck if you know) to the bottom for good measure. That kind of dedication deserves a reward, so you decide to take yourself out on a date. These have been a hard few weeks and until the deity, fairy, or whoever does it, you will give yourself an abundance. Of love and care that is.

As you return home an hour or two after the sun has set with two handfuls of bags and leftovers from your lunch with Shoko, you feel satisfied, maybe this was the work of your sweet little hut. “Give back to the universe what it gave to you.” You whisper before places a small wet kiss to the smooth, misshapen roof of what you have now decided to call a cottage, potentially thanks to a few dinner mimosas that were not your idea, but we’re happily consumed.

With your day having been lived and the universe having received your thanks, early or otherwise, you drop your clothing and beauty supply bags beside your couch and set your leftovers on the counter to wait for you until after your shower. You let out a long groan of anticipation as you try to undress without the hands currently pushing your braids into your bonnet.

You’re absolutely right to anticipate your shower. The steaming water is loosening knots in your shoulders you didn’t even notice were there. Just as you go to reach for your body wash and wash rag, a shiver runs down your spine and ends as a warm buzz between your legs. The intensity catches you by surprise, almost making you slip out of your bathtub and wiping away your soft intoxication.

Catching yourself quickly, you push your urges down, you have plans for her already; leftovers, specialty ice cream, a rose-petal wrapped joint, and the cute little rose toy you picked up today. It’s nothing fancy, but you figure that your date should end the right way, and you deserve to be wined and dined before putting yourself to sleep as you throughly plan to. It’s hard, let’s not downplay the severity of this arousal, you’re stalled for nearly two entire minutes, fearing any movement right now ruining your plans, but your brain wins and you’re able to finish your shower with major discomfort, but no worries.

Out of your shower and donned in your favorite panties and flirty nightgown, you begin to set up your bedroom for your eventful night, lighting candles and putting your comfort show on the television all of your friends hate that you keep in your room (until they’re all staying over) while your leftovers spin in your microwave. All the while, you can’t get rid of the infuriating itch in your lower belly, demanding attention. “Guess abundance can mean anything.” You mutter as you cut your eyes over to your cottage while removing your food from the microwave.

There’s no one to blame but yourself, you figure as you shut off the rest of the lights in your apartment, and while the abundance isn’t fully working out how you want right now… that doesn’t mean you won’t wake up to a 30 million dollar check in the mail from a secret admirer.

Though you don’t have time to be amused by your thoughts, instead, you’re frozen in your doorway, petrified by the two icy blue eyes glowing in the darkest corner of your room. As your eyes meet, another wave of arousal rushes over you, threatening to knock you off of your feet, but you’ll be damned if you drop your leftovers, opting instead to squeeze your thighs together softly as his mouth cracks open into a wide smile, teeth just as bright as his eyes.

The man begins to approach you, each step feeling like a vibration in your core, and as your mind reels, you figure that he has to be the deity. Granted, now that he’s out of the darkness, he does look good enough to eat - tall and lean, black dress pants running along the incredible length of his legs to gleaming shoes and a white button-up shirt that looks soft enough to wrap your pillow in, just enough buttons open to show the peek of a silver necklace glinting beneath - but you’d be lying if you said you thought a real person could turn you on to this extent. He stops once the cool tips of his shoes rest against your toes, his burning gaze lazily dropping to the soft pink polish on your toes before dragging its way up past the hem of your nightgown to your chest, lingering there as his Cheshire smile grows even wider and his eyes make one final jump to meet yours. “Hey.”

Having him so close to you is an adjustment you don’t know if you’ll ever be able to make as you feel your pussy flutter around nothing. You have no idea what to say in response, and before you can think about it, or simply whimper instead, your mouth moves without your permission, “Are you a fairy?”

The man throws his head back in a boisterous laugh, his lower lip poking out in a mocking pout when he meets your eyes again, “Awe, pretty girl,” A cool thumb caresses your cheek, your body still adjusting to his pressure, “Were you supposed to be summoning a fairy?” Nodding, your shoulder lifts in a halfhearted shrug, “Or a deity. Of um, of abundance.”

He removes his hand from your face and clicks his tongue, not relinquishing his pout as he pulls one of your cottage flowers from his pocket. “And here I thought you were trying to set the mood.” As he maneuvers the flower behind your ear, you realize that you hadn’t even noticed that his pockets were stuffed with all of the flowers you’d set up to welcome… whatever he was. Luckily, he answers your question after plucking the long stem from the flower behind your ear, “My name is Gojo Satoru, and I am the finest incubus you can summon.”

You’re not given much time to process, your confused (and betrayed) gaze still out of your bedroom door and set on the naked cottage as Gojo takes your hand and pulls you towards your bed. He takes a seat on the edge, releasing a hum of delighted satisfaction at the soft bounce, and rests you so you’re standing between his open legs, the tv flickering colors across his face, all paling in comparison to his eyes. “I summoned a demon?” Gojo nods, smile ever present and hand not yet leaving yours, “Can incubi also bring money?”

Gojo chuckles, “You ask a lot of questions don’t you?” He pulls another flower from his pocket and rips the stem off with his teeth before placing behind his own ear, “I’ll answer that one and any others you’re allowed to ask until we’re done, okay?” His okay is punctuated by his hand releasing yours and instead mirroring his other to slowly trail up your legs and beneath your nightgown.

“For starters, you’re gonna call me Satoru tonight, or however much of it you’re able to get out later.” A cheeky smirk as he looks up at you through his frosty lashes makes you want to feel his mouth on you and see if it’s as chilled as the rest of him is, but he’s also a demon, so using your newly mastered skill of beating your desires back until you just barely have control, you nod and clench your thighs again, “Okay, Satoru.” His hands have reached the hem of your panties now, fingers bunching the material until he clasps the entire sides in both hands, “Good! Now, as far as money goes, usually, no, but, if you’re a good girl for me, I just might reconsider.”

If you weren’t already struggling to keep your breath softer than a pant, you’d probably be embarrassed at how your legs quiver at the label, especially when Satoru acknowledges the shake with a groan deep in his chest and the tortuously slow descent of your panties, which he follows with the burial of his nose in the crevice between your thighs over your nightgown. After he finishes a deep breath, he releases your panties to land on the floor and catches his bottom lip between his teeth as he chuckles again. “I’m a demon, not a monster, you’re not in any danger.” The end of the statement is very pointed, Satoru’s eyes serious as he says it, though they soften again when you nod, some of the returned tension in your shoulders dropping with the motion of your head.

Satoru’s icy hands have made their way back up your legs, his fingers digging into your ass as he kneads the fat of it, the crotch of his pants tightening in response, “Last answer, no more questions til we’re done; I don’t care about your neighbors, don’t muffle any of the sounds you make. I know I won’t be, so it’ll be a waste if you try.” While you heard Satoru, your entire body’s attention has been focused on his cock trying to break through the zipper of his pants, and with one more nod, this one much less invested than your prior, you drop to your knees in front of Satoru. He goes to protest, but you offer a silent trade, offering him your leftovers, though he doesn’t take the plate until you pull your lust blown eyes from the growing tent in his pants to meet his own. Once your eyes meet, Satoru laughs, almost giddy, and takes your plate, “Are you repaying me for earlier?”

Your fingers fumble with his pants, your anticipation so high, you can barely function. You have to taste him, and you most definitely have to do it now, besides, Satoru is counting on you to be a good girl for him, “I’m gonna try.” You mutter as you finally get his pants undone. Satoru takes a forkful of leftovers into his mouth, those paralyzing eyes of his focused on you.

Taking a note from Satoru’s book, you slowly, tortuously pull his pants down, your lips leaving wet kisses along his snowy happy trail. Satoru is about to say something else, but you finally get his pants down low enough to see he isn’t wearing any underwear beneath his perfectly tailored pants and lick a path from one side of his pelvis to the other, forcing him to cut off whatever he was going to say with a breathy groan.

The noise makes you impatient, yanking Satoru’s pants just low enough for his cock to come springing up onto his stomach, long veiny, and begging to be touched. Flicking your eyes up to his flushed face, you guide his tip into your mouth, hollowing out your cheeks and pushing your tongue against the sensitive skin just beneath the head of his cock, a smile constricting your mouth even more when the repeated motion causes Satoru to flop back onto your bed with a long whine.

Taking a deep breath in through your nose while you can, you glide his twitching length over your tongue until the cool, yet angry red tip pushes at the back of your throat. The entirety of Satoru can’t fit into your mouth, the very base of him eluding the warm wet embrace, so to make up for it, you sit up on your knees and extend your tongue to lick what your lips can’t reach, spit pooling into the short shorn hairs you can’t quite bury your nose into. Now Satoru moans, low and lulling, setting your plate beside himself on your bed and tossing his head back. As you lift your mouth from his cock slowly, tongue lazily dragging behind, Satoru’s breaths turn into shallow pants. You can’t remember the last time you wanted to savor something so badly, or the last time you wanted to devour something so grossly it’d be hard to look your mother in the eye. Satoru is using one hand to push his fluffy hair off of his forehead and the other is lying limp over the edge of your bed. His moans and whines have your pussy clenching and dripping, aching for the relief that comes when you slip two of your fingers into your heat.

As the stimulation on your g-spot and the dizzying heat of Satoru’s slack jawed stare make you moan around the head of his cock, you suddenly drop your mouth back down on him until his spongy head makes harsh contact with the back of your throat. The feeling pulls a deep growl from Satoru, the edges of his licked lips curling as you repeat the motion, building a steady pace of slow ascension and burning descent until the sounds of your clattering beads, moans, and squelches of your fingers fidgeting in your pussy are joined by the wet, choked cry forced from your lips every time you make that bruising collision.

“So good, baby. You’re doing so good for me.” Satoru praises you, reaching for something on the small end table beside your bed, sharp blue eyes still trained on you and summoning another wave of arousal over your curling fingers. You moan at the feeling, air in the room growing thick and Satoru sits up now, resting his weight on his left arm as he extends the other to you, revealing your new toy. You still your movements, your aching throat enjoying the reprieve as you gaze up at Satoru, eyebrows scrunched in confusion and your tongue lazily sliding along his twitching length. “I wanna taste you while I fuck your mouth, pretty girl, you can use this.”

You don’t go to move for the toy, not because you don’t want to, of course, but once again, as your eyes flicker from his open hand to his face, his eyes, your body’s actions seem to be incredibly limited, only allowing for your pussy to clench tighter around your fingers and your mouth to release a needy whine around Satoru’s cock. Hissing at the vibration, his expression gets serious, “Take it and use it. Give me your hand.” His demand turns your brain back on and you pull your fingers out of yourself with a loud pop, your wetness dripping onto the floor as you present your sticky fingers to Satoru, your other hand dropping into his own to drunkenly grasp the pink toy.

Satoru is smiling again, pulling another cock muffled whimper from you, “Awe, baby, is that all for me?” He coos, cheeks flushed as he licks at some of the sticky arousal that has dripped down to your wrist. You nod, needy moans and whimpers leaving your mouth more often than breath at the moment, and your heat missing something to grip as Satoru’s eyes roll back into his head as he groans hungrily at the taste of you. When his eyes meet yours again, they’re dark and hazy, almost making his cheeky grin look ravenous, devilish. “You should have told me you tasted so good.” He doesn’t leave any room for response - not that you really could in your state anyway - before his head gestures to your hand, still lying in his, “Use your rose, pretty girl. I want you to cum with me.”

Now that your new toy is turned on and pressed against your clit, Satoru gently grips the back of your neck, his thumb gently stroking the skin behind your ear as he savors the taste of your arousal on your fingers, “Relax your mouth, baby, okay?” This time, Satoru let’s you nod in response before his grip on your neck tightens and he thrusts his hips so he hits the back of your throat again, the sensation making you both moan loudly. He barely pulls back before plunging his cold cock head right back into the increasingly more sensitive spot. Relentless, Satoru keeps his pace, whimpering broken fragments of praises and your name as he sucks and licks at your hand, cleaning you up with a greedy attention to detail that almost makes you wish he was licking into you in tandem with the you making your thighs shake.

Almost. But as Satoru’s thrusts begin to speed up and his licks begin to turn into dragging bites to your palm, you relish in the feeling of having his heavy cock twitch in your warm mouth and his balls gathering and spreading the drool seeping out of your mouth with loud slaps. He’s loud, he’s rough, he’s greedy, and as Gojo Satoru clenches his jaw and interlocks your fingers, begging you to cum with him and telling you how good you feel, you’re sure he’s also absolutely divine. His lidded eyes and slack jaw are enough to have you clenching your thighs and moaning loud and long as your orgasm crashes over you, so strong your vision goes white for a moment.

Satoru lets out a low broken moan as he watches your orgasm rush through you, contorting your face and constricting your mouth around him. His short fingernails are digging temporary crescents into the back of your neck as he holds you down on his cock as far as he can manage, “Eyes up here. Watch what you do to me.” Satoru waits patiently, grinding into your mouth slow and hard until you’re able to lull your eyes back to his.

As soon as you make eye contact, Satoru reaffirms his grip on your neck and begins to piston his hips, making his earlier pace seem geriatric. “Fuck, been so good for me, haven’t you?” Satoru pants out, voice soft and raspy. You hum an acknowledgement around him, a nod barely able to be formed due to Satoru’s rapid thrusting, but your whiny confirmation, the beg for his approval buzzing around his aching cock is all Satoru needs. With his jaw slack to release a loud throaty moan and his snowy eyelashes fluttering, Satoru cums down your throat, warm and so, so filling. As he twitches against your tongue, holding you so far down his length tears slip between your lips and add to the salty flavor of him filling your mouth, Satoru chuckles breathlessly, “That’s right… take it all.”

Satoru doesn’t let his hefty cock slip out of your mouth until you’ve swallowed all of the cum he gave you. Untangling your hands, Satoru pulls you up so you’re straddling his lap and he sets to wiping the tears from your cheeks and sweeping the cum that seeped out of the corners of your mouth up with his thumb. “Open up, pretty girl, you’ve got leftovers.” Satoru coos, the cheeky tone he never abandons for long makes you huff in soft indignation, but the compliment has you moving forward to suck the digit into your mouth, being sure to clean it of Satoru’s salty cum, eyes closing at the flavor and pussy fluttering again.

Opening your mouth to release Satoru’s thumb, you rub yourself against his still stiff member, subconsciously scratching the itch he seems capable of continually causing, “I wanna do that again.” You’re insatiable as you hump your way through your sentence, wanting him so badly you can’t stop yourself from gripping his shirt so tightly your knuckles hurt as you run your clit over his bulbous head, high pitched whimpers falling from your lips at every pass.

You lean in to kiss Satoru and lick the smug grin off of his face, but he moves away, reveling in how your pout after chasing his lips doesn’t result in him meeting you excitedly, tongue startlingly warm and licking a path through your mouth. “No baby,” Satoru flips you effortlessly, standing to slowly discard his clothes as he watches you rub your thighs together, “Now I do my job.” Fully naked, adorned only in the thin, glistening chain and the securely placed flower he set behind his ear earlier, Satoru creeps himself up the bed towards you.

One sloppy kiss after another, Satoru hums his way up your body. As he’s passing by your pussy, Satoru pushes your thighs open and with his tongue flat, he licks one mean stripe up your slit before abandoning your lips entirely and setting to nibbling at your neck. Before you can protest though, Satoru slips one of his long fingers into you, immediately curling to where you’re most sensitive, “You gonna be loud for me while I fuck you full, pretty girl?”

#i-jus-wanna-write-fanfics #black girl insert series #black reader insert #black!fem!reader #kinktober #kinktober 2023 #jjk gojo #gojo smut #gojo x reader #gojo x black reader #jjk smut #jjk x reader #gojo saturo #gojo satoru smut #satoru gojo smut

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