#anyway I just want to be DONE with this fucking thing PLEASE I want my degree so I can put it on job applications like HIRE ME PLS

[beenbaanbuun]

Mug w/ Jung Wooyoung

this has been in my drafts for months and i’ve always wondered whether or not i should release it since the material could be triggering to some people. i guess i’ve finally settled on putting it out there, so please heed the warnings before reading it. i don’t want this to affect anyone negatively.

warnings: mentions of past abusive relationships, self doubt, slight dissociation, panic attacks, blood, self harm in the form of skin picking. i think that’s it but please let me know if it’s there’s anything i forgot to mention

——————————————————————————

“I’m not mad,” Wooyoung said, as if that made anything better. The tension was still there, eating you alive from the inside out. So was the guilt.

“But you’re disappointed, right?” You countered, knowing how this sort of thing goes. They tell you they’re not mad, but you have to face the consequences anyway. And there were always consequences.

Wooyoung just stared at you with unreadable eyes. They looked almost pitiful in a way, but why would he pity you for what you’d done? He should be screaming at you, throwing things around just to prove his point. Just to make you submit to him once more. That’s how it normally went for you.

But Wooyoung had been kind up until now. He was a gentle soul who preferred to steer you in the right direction if you ever misstepped. There was never any shouting within the four walls of your relationship, nor was there any placing the blame on you being ‘useless’ or any other such word. He was just… nice.

But there had to be a day when that ended, right? You’d fucked up big time this time and he must’ve realised that his kindness isn’t working by now. He had to know that the only way to get you to learn was by putting you in your place.

“Baby, what’s going on?” You were desperate to answer, fumbling over your words trying to find a suitable answer that would reduce your punishment. Perhaps you could tell him you were sick! That always worked when your last partner was mad at you. It would at least postpone whatever was going to happen for a few days. Wooyoung, just frowned. “Calm down, sweetheart.”

But you couldn’t. You knew this was the breaking point so how could you be calm about such a thing? No matter how gentle Wooyoung had been up until this point, you knew it wouldn’t always stay that way. If you’d been taught anything it’s that you were a bad girlfriend, and the only way to make you good was to hurt you. Fear was a powerful teacher, afterall. Fear wouldn’t let you be so careless about your actions.

It would hurt to say goodbye to this version of Wooyoung, you had to admit, but you always knew it was coming. He couldn’t stay his annoyingly loving self forever because you couldn’t stay well behaved forever. You only had yourself to blame for what was to come, really. Did you even have the right for it to hurt?

No, you decided rather quickly.

Wooyoung stared at you, unsure of what to do as you seemed to completely depart from reality. Your eyes were glazed over as you stared off into the distance, and your fingers picked at one another so bad that it fetched blood. You didn’t flinch as the crimson liquid beaded up on your fingers, though, almost as if it didn’t hurt you at all.

Your breathing was heavy and ragged and Wooyoung could tell you were barely staving off a panic attack. He’d done it often enough himself to know exactly how to recognise it, but for some reason, he didn’t know how to help. Something told him you didn’t want to be touched, but he wasn’t sure of how else to get your attention. He’d been calling your name with no success, but the last thing he wanted was to raise his voice. If he was in the slightest bit angry with you, perhaps he would’ve, but he wasn’t. Not at all.

He spared a quick glance towards the trash can, his favourite mug resting at the top in shards. It was really the only one he used, the weight of it just feeling… right. You’d bought it for him when you first started dating a few months ago and although the saying on it made him cringe a little, he’d learnt to love it. Of course, he was sad to see it go, but it was only a mug. He could always get another one. It wouldn’t be the same, but then again, was anything ever the same as the thing it replaced? And you never know, maybe he’d end up preferring whatever mug he got to replace it.

With a sigh, he turned back to you. There were bigger issues to deal with than a mug. You were still barely keeping away a panic attack and your blood from your fingers starting to smear grotesquely across your hands. He briefly wondered where he kept his first aid kit before realising that too was a problem for later.

“Sweetheart,” he mumbled as he walked closer. He didn’t lay a hand on you but instead spread his arms as if he were herding a scared animal. He felt stupid doing it, but you started to back up and eventually landed upon his sofa. He tried to ignore the pang of pain that shot through his chest when he thought too deep about the implications of the situation, but it was hard when you were backing away from him like he was going to hurt you.

Oh.

His stomach lurched and for a moment he was sure he was going to throw up. He begged for it not to be true, but it fit way too perfectly not to be.

Someone had hurt his baby.

Wooyoung couldn’t help the rage that filled him from head to toe.

He wanted to scream, and throw things, just to get his rage out, but he couldn’t. To risk scaring you even more would be a cruel thing for him to do. Even if he were sure it would make him feel just a little more calm, he couldn’t bear to think of doing anything that would make you afraid of him. He simply had to hope that his anger would eventually peter out, and he wouldn’t be reminded of it every time he looked at you.

Deep breaths, he told himself as he took himself over to the sofa to sit beside you. One in, he shuffled closer so he was almost pressed up against you. You shuddered and Wooyoung frowned, but he didn’t move away. He couldn’t move away.

One out, he said your name in the softest voice he could muster, finally bringing you out of the trance you’d found yourself trapped in. He wondered why this time it worked when all of the other times you ignored him. Perhaps it was his proximity. It was a long shot, but perhaps you felt a little safer with him so close.

One in, he asked if you could hold you in his arms.

One out, you gave him a shaky nod and crawled into his lap. He hated to think that you were only doing it because you thought he’d be mad otherwise, so he let you know that you didn’t have to.

You did it anyway.

“Sweetheart, I need you to tell me that you understand that I’m not angry,” he whispered into your ear, wrapping his arms around you tightly. When he was fresh out of a panic attack, he always liked pressure. With the way you seemed to go limp, he assumed you felt the same. “Not disappointed either. It’s a mug, baby.”

“Your mug,” you replied as if that made your reaction seem any more normal, “I broke your favourite mug.”

Wooyoung sighed. Whilst it was the truth, it was nothing to be angry over. He wondered how many times he’d have to clarify that to you before you understood? Whatever. It didn't matter. He’d tell you as many times as you needed to hear it, just as long as you knew you were safe.

“We’ll it’s only my favourite because my favourite person got it for me,” not a complete lie, but it wasn't the whole truth either. For some reason, though, he felt as though ‘it was a nice weight in my hands’ wouldn’t have been so effective in trying to get you to calm down.

“But I bought you that mug?” His heart broke a little, but he couldn't let that show. He refused to give you another reason to throw mental punches at yourself.

“Well then, I guess that makes you my favourite person.”

There was silence for a few seconds as you considered his words. There was no trace of a lie in his voice, but you still found it hard to believe that he was telling the truth. He was surrounded by so many wonderful people who didn’t fuck up nearly as often as you did, and yet he still chose you to be his favourite? You doubted it, but you would never call Wooyoung a liar.

“And I want my favourite person to know that I would never do anything to hurt them,” he continued, voice suddenly a little more solemn, “because why would I ever want to hurt someone as lovely and precious as you?”

“I’m not lovely,” you hid your face in his neck, partially to cover the blush, partially because you were afraid of what may come at the inadvertent accusation. He merely chuckled, bringing a hand to cup the back of your head.

“Yes you are, you little liar,” a kiss, warm and chaste, was placed to your temple, “and I don’t know how anyone could ever tell you you’re anything less than the most wonderful person to ever walk this planet. You’re so kind and thoughtful and even if you do mess up sometimes, that’s okay because you’re human.”

You just nodded into his neck, no longer wanting to deny his compliments. Even if they were just being used to butter you up, you let them sink in. As long as they came from Wooyoung’s mouth, you told yourself you would believe them, for his sake. He’d yet to prove himself to be anything but a good boyfriend, the least you could do was believe him.

“I love you,” he mumbled into your hair, “so incredibly much.”

“I love you too, Woo.”

“Will you let me patch you up?” He asked, pointing at your fingers but placing his hand over your chest where your heart was beating deep within. You couldn’t know for certain that this relationship would be different, but the look in Wooyoung’s eyes made you feel like you could trust him. It would be a long process, you knew that, but you knew he would put in the work.

You knew that he could make you feel safe.

#ateez x reader #ateez fic #ateez fanfic #ateez oneshot #ateez fluff #ateez scenarios #wooyoung fluff #wooyoung x reader #wooyoung angst

[deerlottie]

🐰 — you're the one (that im dreamin' of)

summary: ever since that stupid kiss with jackie, things have gotten worse. you just wish she liked you back. warnings: fluff with angst, childhood best friends to lovers, pining, dysphoria mentions/internalized transphobia, timeskips. not proofread a/n: 3k WORDS HOLY FUCK????? this is my first fic that ive done that has gotten to be this long im amazed wtf! this is definitively a favorite of mine now, and i hope you all enjoy it <3

you're just sitting next to each other on the couch watching a movie, you don't know why your heart is beating so fast.

maybe it's because her shoulder is touching yours, and every time she finds a joke funny, she leans into you while laughing, causing you to sweat and nervously laugh along with her.

god, you need to get over your little crush on jackie. well, it's not little at all, actually - you know you're in love with her, which is 10x worse. but the worst part is the voice in the back of your head telling you that she'd never be with someone like you. someone trans.

you know it's not true - jackie was very supportive when you came out to her in middle school. she was the only one defending you from shitty kids and let you stay at her house for a while when your parents found all your binding stuff and threw you out. of course, you had to go back eventually but they made you throw out anything related to that 'sinful' shit.

jackie would sneak you some of shauna's flannels when you'd reach the bus stop so you could be yourself outside of home, and you always chalked that fluttery feeling in your stomach when she called you handsome down to gender euphoria. which is partly true, but you secretly wished she would've called you her boyfriend instead.

but even so, you'd have to swallow the bile that rose to your throat when senior year of high school started, and you'd see her talking to jeff - to a real man. you know that there wasn't anything going on between them, but your stomach would churn when she would mention how cute he looked that day. it made you angry - at her, at jeff, at your parents, at yourself.

so angry, that you would start ignoring her. being too close to her got to your head and it was getting hard to ignore your growing feelings for her. but this is jackie we're talking about, and she cornered you until you spat out some pathetic excuse that you were just busy with homework to ever go see her. she didn't buy it for a second, but she saw how uncomfortable you were and didn't want to press you about it. you somehow made it through the rest of the school year with only seeing her a couple times while hanging out with mutual friends.

now, it's your freshman year at rutgers which jackie begged you to apply at so you could be college buddies, and to be honest, it wasn't your first choice, but you applied anyways. and it was the only one you got accepted to, so you had no choice in the matter. coincidentally, you and jackie had the same history class, so it was only natural that she had asked you to come over to her house to reconnect.

which was a bad idea.

"have you ever kissed someone?" jackie speaks suddenly, turning to you while twirling her hair around a finger.

you splutter for a second, gulping hard. "u-uh, no, i haven't. have you?"

please say no, please say no.

"me neither." she smiles, and if you hadn't been too embarrassed to make eye contact, you would have seen the way she glanced at your lips. you hum at her response and nod before turning your attention back to the movie.

a beat passes.

"wait, we should totally practice on each other!" she says it as if it were a huge revelation. she's looking at you with sparkles in her eyes and an innocent grin, reaching for the remote to pause the movie.

"what?" you squeak out, scooting up and sitting straighter on the couch, swallowing hard as you look at her. your hand shakes as you bring it up to scratch at the back of your head. "are you serious?"

"of course," she rolls her eyes. jackie leans in closer to you and grabs your hands, and if she heard the nervous breath of air you let out, she chose to ignore it. "i mean, it wouldn't even be awkward, right? we've known each other since we were kids. and besides, it's just a little practice, no harm done."

oh, if you only knew.

you think about it - really, think about it. you don't wanna kiss her just because you like her. you know that would just cause more problems with your feelings for her. but at the same time, you've barely gotten to know anyone while at this college and the only girl you talk to here is your classmate who sits beside you in art, and she only asked for a pencil one time. so, who knows when the next time you'd be given this opportunity to kiss another girl, let alone jackie taylor.

of course, there would be no other option you'd pick besides kissing her, even if that means destroying your friendship with her forever. for you, at least. she'd go on with her life and you'd be stuck dealing with all the emotions and be lucky if you don't suddenly explode with them.

you nod slowly, choosing to ignore the sinking feeling in your gut. your lips tremble as you speak, and a cold sweat consumes your body. "s-sure. it's just practice." you try to convince yourself of it, but it doesn't seem to work that well.

jackie giggles and claps her hands together, wiggling her toes as she gets in position next to you, and you nearly back out of it as you feel her breath hit your lips. she places her hand on your shoulder for a second, picking at the fabric of your shirt before trailing her hand to your neck and pulling you in for a soft kiss.

your brain immediately shuts off and you can hear the wires crack with electricity as her plump lips move against yours. you have no choice but to let her take control of the kiss, jackie giving you experimental pecks before getting brave enough to stick her tongue in your mouth.

you moan at the feeling, eyes widening with embarrassment as you pull away, wiping your lips with the back of your hand. you can't look her in the eye as you stutter out apologies, but you wish you could because the only thing you can focus on is how swollen her lips are.

"how was it? was i good?" she asks hopefully, leaning in and anticipating your response.

"mhm." is all you can say.

she raises her fists in a celebratory manner, proud of her newly found skill. she buzzes with excitement, looking lost in thought as she replays the moment in her head. she grabs the remote and turns to you again, seemingly mistaking your frozen state for some sort of expectation on her part.

"you were good too." she reaches out and touches your arm, eyebrows furrowing at how suddenly you get up.

"sorry-i just," you wipe at your nose and clear your throat, looking anywhere but her. "i forgot i have an early class tomorrow, and i don't wanna stay up late."

"oh, okay." she nods, trying not to sound disappointed. she watches you walk away and calls out your name, remembering something. "wait! you should come to my party that i'm hosting in a few weeks."

"what party?"

"it's just a small party with friends and their friends, probably. it's to kick off our first semester of college." she smiles and shrugs, bouncing on her tippy toes. "i really want you to be there with me."

"and shauna!" she adds quickly. "her semester at brown doesn't start for a couple more weeks so she's coming over to visit. she's been asking about you too, i don't know why she's suddenly so interested in you." she crosses her arms, looking annoyed.

"i'll try to show up, but don't expect anything." you tell her, giving her a small smile. you feel your heart skip a beat at her excited squeal and hug, awkwardly melting into it.

you walk out the door and can feel your emotions building up, kicking a stray rock on jackie's sidewalk before you let out a heavy sigh and wipe your face.

"fuck!"

the second you get to the party, you make a beeline straight for the drinks.

jackie's front door was unlocked when you arrived and for now, she was nowhere to be found. you're not entirely sure why you decided to show up in the first place - you've been a mess since that kiss you had with her all those weeks ago. it's all you can think about and replay in your mind, and some of your grades have started to slip. the thought of seeing her here after successfully avoiding her, which was surprisingly easy with a clever lie about being busy with classes, made you want to vomit.

you gulp down your 4th shot, grimacing at the burn in your throat. you pull out your phone and check the time - 9:49 p.m. you could stay another hour or so, take advantage of all the free drinks, maybe say a quick "hi" to jackie and shauna and then leave.

"should you really be drinking that much?" you hear a raspy voice tease from behind you.

speak of the devil.

you turn around and are face to face with shauna shipman, one of your best friends from elementary school. the last time you had spoken to her was a couple of days before high school graduation, and it was about jackie, because of course it would be. she had urged you to grow some balls and ask her out before any other person with brains would. you chickened out, that same voice in the back of your head saying she would've rejected you. of course, you've kept up with her through texts, but you haven't really had the time or heart to respond to all her questions about how it's going with jackie.

you roll your eyes and bashfully smile at the sight of her, clad in her iconic plaid shirt, which you're pretty sure is the exact one jackie gave you that one time. you shake your head to rid the thought of her, bringing shauna in for a hug. you inhale the scent of her cologne, sighing against her shoulder as your mind spins.

"i've missed you, shipman." you pull away from her and grab another shot, ignoring how she scoffs and rolls her eyes. despite this, she reaches out and grabs herself one, clinking it against your glass before you both swallow it down.

"you look good." she compliments, punching your arm and scanning your body over. "i heard that you've been on T for a while now, congrats. i like the little baby beard thing you've got going on." you swat her hand away from your face as she tries to touch it, chuckling at her antics.

"oh, thanks." you say with fake earnest, scratching at your stubble. "i've only been letting it grow out for 6 months now, no big deal."

"i'm sure jackie loves it, she's always had a thing for beards." shauna replies, smirking at you.

your smile drops a bit at the mention of jackie and you clear your throat awkwardly, looking away. shauna looks at you quizzically, wondering what she said wrong. you shake your head, pouring yourself another shot before sighing.

"it's a long story." you slur, the alcohol finally catching up to you. she grabs you by the hands and leads you through the crowd of people and into jackie's backyard, pulling a chair out and sitting you down.

"well, spit it out."

you end up spilling your guts to shauna about your feelings and what happened with jackie, surprising yourself for being able hold tears back as you pour your heart out. she rubs your back comfortingly as she listens to you talk about everything, her heart hurting as you mention your internalized transphobia.

she opens her mouth to speak but another voice calls out for you.

"there you are!" jackie yells, stopping in her tracks when she sees how close shauna is to you. her annoyance turns into concern when she notices how drunk you are. "i've been looking for you everywhere."

you giggle at her, looking up with a dopey smile and rush to your feet. "jackieeeee, hi."

"how much has he had to drink?" jackie looks at shauna, growing more concerned. you stumble into her arms, and she catches you, trying to keep you still as you mumble incoherently into her neck.

shauna shrugs, wondering if she should intervene. you're nearly black out, but she knows this would be the only way on earth that you'd confess to jackie. "maybe 4, 5 shots?"

jackie scoffs, rolling her eyes. she grabs your face and looks at you with a soft expression. "i'm gonna take you back to my room, okay? you can rest in there until you get sober enough."

"noooo," you pout, letting yourself get tugged by her back into the house and up the stairs, which you nearly trip on. you huff and puff as she pushes you into her room, feeling old memories come back at being in here. "you're no fun."

she ignores you and guides you over to her bed, pulling the covers back and helping you get in. you have no energy to fight back as she tucks you in, moving stray hairs out of your face and kissing your forehead. she leaves for a second to fetch you water, forcing you to drink some.

"why did you have to ask me to do it?" you ask suddenly, hiccupping and closing your eyes as you feel yourself get tired.

"do what?" she says quietly, running her nails over your scalp as she watches over you.

"ask me to practice kissing." you mumble. "i hated it. i hate you."

"i'm sorry." she apologizes, feeling a pang of sadness at your words. "i never wanted to make you fe-."

"i think i'm in love with you, jackie."

she freezes, her movements stilling as she processes what you just said. she swallows down what she really wants to say and shakes her head, blinking away tears. "you're drunk, you don't mean that."

"i do. i've known since middle school, i just could never tell bring myself to tell you because you'd never date someone like me."

"shut up." she gets out of bed, releasing a shaky sigh and fixing her hair. she feels her stomach drop as you give her a dejected look and turns around to face the door. "you can sleep here tonight. i'll come and check on you in the morning."

she walks towards the door and opens it, not looking back to you as she whispers a "goodnight." you're too drunk right now to care about what you just did, so you close your eyes and sleep.

you wake up with arguably the biggest hangover ever and groan, covering up the creeping sunlight with your blanket. wait- not your blanket, jackie's blanket. you sit up, feeling your heart sink as you realize what happened last night.

shit.

just as you're about to get out of bed, the door opens and in walks jackie, looking surprised at you being awake.

"i've checked on you like 5 different times, and you were always asleep." she chuckles awkwardly, sitting at the foot of the bed and fingering the loose thread on her pajamas. "i didn't know if you had classes today but i figured i'd let you sleep in anyway."

"thanks." you mutter, licking your dry lips and reaching for the water she brought you last night and taking a generous swig. you glance at the clock that reads 2:33 p.m. and sigh. you do have a 3 o'clock class but you really don't think you can handle going anywhere today.

the room is filled with uncomfortable silence as you both sit and pretend like you're not glancing at each other. you fumble with the water bottle before you gather the courage and speak with a small voice.

"i'm, uh, i'm sorry about last night. i wasn't thinking." that's as best as you can do without feeling like throwing up.

"did you mean it? what you said about me?" jackie scoots closer, removing the water bottle from your grip and placing it back on the nightstand. you internally scream as you make eye contact with her before looking away, feeling too nervous. her hand covers yours and you feel a shock of electricity, nodding your head slowly as you glance back to her.

"y-yes." you finally say, voice breaking. "i meant it."

you watch as her shoulders relax, closing her eyes and sighing out. she looks to you with a half grin and playfully shoves you, bouncing to her knees on the bed and holding you by the shoulders. "you're an idiot."

"excuse me?" you furrow your eyebrows, looking at her like she's crazy.

jackie shakes her head and pushes you back so you're lying down the bed and gets onto your lap, her lips meeting yours in a sweet kiss. you feel like you're having a fever dream between the hangover and jackie kissing you, but you welcome it, placing your hands on her hips and kissing her back.

you spend at least 5 minutes catching up with a long awaited makeout session, jackie pulling back with a satisfied grin. she rests her forehead against yours and caresses your cheek with her hand, looking into your eyes with a loving expression that makes your heart flutter.

"i was waiting for you to confess to me all these years, you know." she mumbles, kissing your nose. "i was starting to think you were gay or something."

you chuckle, tracing random patterns on her back. you lean up and flip her over on her back, smiling at her sound of surprise that flies from her mouth. you place your arms over both sides of her head and kiss her gently, pulling back only slightly.

"well, here's my confession. jackie taylor, i've been in love with you since we were in middle school. you would make me the happiest man in the world if you went out with me. what do you say?"

"hmm," she ponders, giggling as you pinch her side. she brings you in for another long, sweet kiss, getting sidetracked as she stares at you.

"i say yes."

#.myworks #jackie taylor thoughts 💭 #yellowjackets x reader #jackie taylor x reader

[shellbilee]

Hey There Darlin' - Chapter 5

A Glen Powell RPF Series

Apologies for the little hiatus guys. I'm hopeful that I'm back to regular posting, Glen's recent content influx has certainly helped with my inspo! Please comment if you'd like to be tagged! x

Billie

Billie hears a groan of effort and looks back at her phone sitting in the cradle on her dashboard. The metallic sound of dumbbells hitting the floor rings out and suddenly a face fills the screen, familiar brown eyes looking back at her. 

“Alright I’m done with my set now, sorry”.

Billie laughs and shakes her head, looking away from the phone and back at her reflection in her rearview mirror. 

“You’re the one that called me, Brad” Billie counters to her brother, smoothing back the baby hairs near her forehead into her slick ponytail.

Bradley, her brother had facetimed her ten minutes ago, Billie having since pulled into a car park at the address Glen had sent her this morning.

“Yeah, cos’ I feel like we haven’t spoken in ages and I miss my little sis’” Bradley says with a smile before taking a quick sip from his water bottle, “Besides, who else am I gonna speak to at this time? You’re the only one I know that would be awake”.

“Speaking of, why are you doing a workout at----” she pauses, lifting her wrist to check her watch, “Three AM?”. 

Bradley shrugs nonchalantly, as if going to the gym in the early hours of the morning is the most normal thing in the world.

“Just came off a week of night shift. First day sleep routine is always kinda fucked. Couldn’t sleep, so figured I’d come and do a workout rather than wake Jords and the kids”.

“Have you tried reading a book?”.

Bradley pulls a face and Billie can’t help but laugh at it.

“Oh yeah sorry, I forgot you’re allergic to reading” she teases, knowing her fire-fighter brother hated every single second of school and study and she, the book smart one in the family, was the complete opposite.

Bradley rolls his eyes and wipes his face with a sweat towel. “Where are you off to anyway? Gym?”.

Billie looks back at her reflection again - she’s wearing activewear again, this time a pair of tight latte coloured shorts and a white racer back tank whose neckline makes her shoulders look toned.

“I don’t know actually. It’s a date” she says with a soft laugh, looking back down at the facetime call.

Bradley snorts. “A date? Dressed like that?”.

This time it’s Billie’s turn to pull a face.

“He said to wear something I don’t mind sweating in, and to bring a change of clothes”.

Billie swears she can see Bradley’s face morph into older-brother protective mode.

“Don’t mind sweating in? Who is this guy?”.

Billie only smiles. “Just a guy I met at Rufus the other day”.

She stays tight-lipped with the rest of the details - namely, that the guy also happens to be a Hollywood celebrity and is so gorgeous that just looking at him makes her want to melt into a puddle on the floor. Though she and Bradley were close and told each other almost everything, she decided to stay vague about her date. 

Right now, she’s happy being in her exciting first-few-dates bubble. And she isn't ready for it to burst by involving other people. She would tell Bradley later, maybe. 

Bradley starts to ask another question when Billie looks down at her watch, looking back at her phone and interrupting her brother to say she needs to go.

“I’m gonna be late ok? I’ll talk to you later in the week?”

Brad nods, “Yeah yeah, you better. Be safe ok?”

“I always am, Brad. Give my love to Jords and the kids yeah?

“I will. Love you Bil”

“Love you too”.

The call abruptly ends and Billie lets out a deep breath, suddenly aware that her heart is hammering in her chest. She’s nervous, nervous to see Glen again even though she’d seen him less than twenty-four hours ago, though admittedly the last time she’d seen him she’d kissed him without warning.

She can still feel his lips on hers, their plush softness moving against hers in a gentle dance, his scent in her nose, his fingertips on her skin. She’d struggled to think of little else during her bosses housewarming barbecue last night, flashbacks of their kiss invading her every thought as she’d mingled with her work friends.

Billie realizes she’s closed her eyes, opening them a moment later and letting out a breath as she looks out the window at the busy LA street in front of her. She double checks the address on her in-dash car GPS confirming she’s at the right place, before taking a final look at her reflection, grabbing her bag and stepping out of the car.

It’s a sunny Sunday morning in LA, the sunshine instantly blinding as Billie closes her car door behind her, reaching up to shield her eyes and looking at the modern brick building in front of her.

Oh my god. 

It’s the Alo gym.

God, it’s a workout date.

Billie can’t help the breath that escapes her throat then.

Glen really did take her advice about unconventional dates seriously.

Fuck.

Billie sucks in a nervous breath and reaches up to smooth down her hair, making her way towards the entrance and doing her best to ignore the mass of butterflies that have suddenly started flapping wildly in her stomach. She knows it’s nerves, but part of her also knows it’s excitement at the thought of seeing Glen again.

She gulps silently.

Here we go.

--

Glen

Glen’s sitting in the entrance area of the Alo Wellness club, relaxing into one of the sleek, cream coloured lounges. His right leg is bouncing like he needs to go to the bathroom, but he knows it has nothing to do with his bladder.

He looks down at his phone in his hand for what feels like the tenth time in a minute, looking at the numbers above his screensaver of Brisket.

10.02am.

Glen knows he’s nervous, but he doesn’t know why. He’d been on hundreds of dates in the past but for whatever reason this one feels different. 

They’d spent most of yesterday together, talking and laughing for what felt like hours, they’d even kissed yesterday - albeit unconventionally, but still. His stomach is a tangle of nervous thoughts and feelings, and all of a sudden he can’t help but second guess his date idea. 

Billie had said unconventional, but was this taking it too far? Especially so soon?

He’d come up with the idea almost instantly yesterday, calling Keith, his Alo trainer as he’d driven home from his Ikea trip with Billie. Some part of him had decided that a personal training session for the two of them would be a great second date idea, given he and Billie had bonded over their frequent exercise and gym habits.

It ticked all the boxes - it would be an activity she told him she enjoyed, one they both regularly participated in, and it was certainly not a traditional date choice.

It was the kind of activity that he would never even attempt with a lot of girls, let alone on a second date, but with Billie? It seemed like the perfect choice. At least it had when he’d come up with it yesterday.

Glen shakes his head as if he’s arguing with the voice inside his head, ignoring his thoughts and standing firm on his decision. He exhales through pursed lips and flips his phone over in his hand again, looking up when he hears the entrance door open.

In an instant, all of his fears and concerns are gone. 

Billie looks every bit as gorgeous as he remembered, even better if that were possible, his eyes running over her as he watches her ask for directions at the front desk. There’s a smile on his face before he can even think about it, standing up from the lounge just as the receptionist points in his direction.

He feels his breath catch in his throat when Billie’s eyes meet his, and suddenly there’s a smile on her face too - a smile that makes every single muscle in his chest contract.

Glen stays put as she makes her way over to him, unable to help his gaze from following the sway of her hips. She's wearing a pair of light brown coloured shorts and a tight white tank top, both accentuating her fit figure and making her golden skin glow. 

Glen’s fingers tighten around his phone and he fights the urge to bite his fist and audibly groan, suddenly wondering how on earth he's going to get through this date without dying when she looks like that.

“Hey darlin’”.

Billie grins gorgeously. “Hey you”.

Glen steps forward to kiss her cheek just as she does the same, the turn of her head making his lips land dangerously close to her mouth. He sees her cheeks immediately flush as they step apart, and Glen fights the urge to groan out loud again for the second time in thirty seconds. 

Fuck.

If they hadn't been somewhere so public he'd have tipped her chin and pulled her in for a bruising kiss. 

Glen swallows and reaches down to pick up his gym bag, grinning down at Billie.

“So, what do you think?”

Billie tilts her head and smiles, “I see you really were listening when I said unconventional dates”.

Glen laughs. “Told you”.

“So what are we doing?” Billie asks as Glen gestures for her to follow him, heading over to the elevators at the back of the room.

Glen shrugs and presses the ‘up’ button on the wall, looking up when the elevator immediately dings. “You'll find out in a second”.

Billie laughs and flashes a worried smile. “I’m actually kind of terrified”.

He returns her laugh as the doors open and they step into the modern elevator, Glen stepping forward to press the button for level seven. 

“You’ll be fine, I promise”.

The doors close and a moment later they’re going up, Glen struggling to ignore the less than three inches of space between them. That, and the sweet, spicy peach scent of her perfume that’s once again filled his nose, the one that’s plagued his brain since their kiss yesterday, the one that seems to be permanently burnt into his every waking thought for the past twenty-four hours. 

God.

A moment later the elevator dings again and the doors open almost as quickly as they closed, revealing the sprawling, modern black and white gym floor of level seven.

They step out and Glen smiles when he sees Billie look around in awe, spying Keith up ahead standing and talking to Mike, one of the club’s other trainers. Glen nods when Keith sees him, leading Billie over towards him to introduce her.

“Hey bud” Keith says, pulling Glen in for a handshake hug in that way that only men do, Glen stepping back and gesturing to Billie.

“Billie, this is my trainer Keith. Keith, this is Billie”.

They shake hands and Billie smiles, Glen momentarily caught up in how beautiful he thinks she is for the tenth time in only ten minutes.

“Glen’s told me a bit about you. You’re a physical therapist?”

“Yep! I work at Evolution Sports Rehab, on Olympic Boulevard?”

Keith nods, “Ah I know the one. I’ve sent some clients there before actually, to see Ross?”

Billie nods enthusiastically, “Yes! He’s my boss. He’s incredible. He’s a big part of the reason I’ve worked there for so long”.

Glen watches Keith and Billie chat, impressed at the way Billie so effortlessly converses with new people. He smiles to himself as he looks down at her. 

No wonder she’s such a good physical therapist.

Glen takes Billie’s bag off her shoulder and puts their bags aside, returning to stand with her and Keith holding two water bottles in his hands.

“So, what fresh torture have you got for us today?”

Keith laughs and Billie looks mildly terrified, Glen putting his arm around Billie and offering a reassuring squeeze.

“You did say you wanted a bit of a challenge” Keith says pointing at Glen, Billie dropping her head back in dismay, “And you did say that Billie was basically an athlete”.

Billie’s head snaps back up and she looks at Glen in alarm, “An athlete? On what planet?”.

Keith drops his head back and laughs, “I’m kidding, I’m kidding” he says holding his hands up in surrender, “But he did say you work out quite a bit, so I’ve put together a team challenge for you both”.

Keith turns to make his way over to the squat rack, motioning for Billie and Glen to follow. As soon as his back is turned, Billie punches Glen’s arm playfully.

“You have definitely talked me up way too much”

Glen grins as he looks down at her, winking mischievously. “No such thing darlin’”.

Billie grins and rolls her eyes adorably, Glen taking her hand and pulling her until they’re both standing in front of Keith again.

“So, we’re going to do a bit of a circuit challenge. It will be a mix of strength and cardio, but you’ll need to work together to get through it” Keith says, pointing at various equipment around the room. “There will be ten stations, and at each one there will be a rep target which you can divide up between you, so you can sub in and out as you need”.

Glen reaches up to stretch his arms above his head, the corner of his mouth tugging into a sly grin as he looks over at Billie’s wide eyes.

“For example, battle ropes. There will be four hundred reps. Billie you could do one hundred, then Glen does a hundred, and repeat until you get to four hundred. Ideally, the goal is to do the entire circuit in under fifty minutes”.

Billie exhales loudly. “Have you done this exact circuit with people before?”

Keith nods. “The record is forty-six minutes”.

Glen bends his left leg behind him, holding his ankle so he’s stretching out his thigh, glancing down at Billie and back to Keith. He scoffs out loud.

“Forty-six minutes? Easy”.

The look of alarm is back on Billie’s face, though this time she’s looking at Glen like he’s insane. 

Glen can’t help but chuckle at her expression.

“What the hell have I gotten myself into?”

He grins down at her, loving the way she smiles back at him. 

“You said unconventional, remember?”

Billie shakes her head. “I think I’m starting to regret saying that”.

Glen laughs, and they both turn back to Keith.

“So, the key is to know your strengths, and what exercises you’re good or not so good at”.

Billie looks up at Glen, tilting her head playfully.  

“Surely there are no exercise that you’re not good at”.

Glen opens his mouth to speak but Keith beats him to it. “Maybe ask that again when we get to the core exercises”.

Glen pulls a face and both Billie and Keith laugh.

“Alright then” Keith announces, clapping his hands together and looking back at Glen and Billie. “We ready?”

---

Forty-five and a half minutes later, Glen and Billie collapse on the floor on their backs, panting and breathless, and covered in sweat.

Glen feels like his chest is going to explode.

He knows it has nothing to do with the workout he’s just done that has his heart rate hammering at marathon race levels, and everything to do with the stunning, sweaty, sexy girl lying panting next to him right now.

Doing that workout with her was like forty-five and a half minutes of foreplay.  He’d never been so simultaneously impressed and turned on in his life. 

Watching Billie move and jump and squat and press had Glen thinking all kinds of things, things he definitely shouldn’t have been thinking while doing a workout in the gym. He couldn’t help but stare as he did his own exercises, frequently losing count of his own reps, his eyes dragging over her back, her legs, her ass. He was totally enamoured by her, by how strong and fucking sexy she looked, even now as she lay on her back, her chest heaving, breathless from the finishing the fifty burpees they were both determined to get done before the timer ticked over to forty-six minutes.

Glen turns to look over at Billie, his eyes running over her face, her lips parted as she sucks in breaths, her cheeks flushed and covered by a glowy sheen of sweat. He swears she’s never looked more sexy than she has in that moment, and all of a sudden he can’t help but imagine what she'd look like after another kind of cardio that has nothing to do with the gym. 

And nothing to do with clothes.

“That” Billie pauses, sucking in a breath and exhaling loudly, “Was not the way I thought my Sunday would go”

“Probably not the way you thought this date was going to go either” Glen retorts, watching as Billie finally turns to look at him beside her.

She grins at him, that same gorgeous, breathtaking grin, her beautiful eyes sparkling, and it takes everything Glen has not to roll over and kiss her right there in the middle of the gym.

“You guys killed it. Broke the record and everything” Keith says suddenly, standing over the two of them and clapping his hands. “Glen, I don’t think I’ve ever seen you work that hard before. But I guess you had some extra motivation this time”

Glen chuckles and Billie laughs, but it sounds strained through their panting breaths.

“And Billie, that was pretty incredible. You smashed it out of the park, awesome stuff”

“Thanks Keith” Billie breathes, still panting, offering a weak thumbs up before dropping her hand back down to the ground dramatically.

Keith laughs. “You’re welcome”.

They talk for a few more minutes before Keith announces that he has to run to see another client, Keith bending down to shake both of their hands before waving and walking out of the gym. 

Billie sits up and leans back on her hands, her legs still outstretched in front of her. Glen is still lying on his back beside her, dabbing his face with his sweat towel.

“Glen, that was fucked”

Glen tips his head back and laughs, dropping the towel back to the floor. “But you killed it”.

“I think it killed me” Billie replies exasperated, dropping head back and looking up at the ceiling, “I am going to be so sore tomorrow”.

Glen chuckles and moves to sit up from the floor, his sweaty skin sticking to the floor beneath him.

“I really need a shower”.

“That makes two of us” Billie laughs, “But I don’t think I can stand up”.

Glen laughs, letting out a groan of effort as he hauls himself upright and stands. He reaches down for Billie’s hand and pulls her up, unable to stop his eyes from flickering to boobs in the tight white tank she’s wearing.

God.

“I also need food” Billie announces, taking a long sip from her water bottle and smoothing back her sweaty hair,  “I’m suddenly starving”.

Glen nods in agreement. 

“I was going to ask if you wanted to grab a bite after this?” he asks, eyes searching her face as he looks down at her, “If you still have the day free of course”.

Billie’s lips part into a smile, and Glen can’t help the way his own smile grows. 

“My day is totally empty”

“Oh really?” Glen inquires, one eyebrow raised, “Does that mean I can steal you for dinner too?”.

Billie laughs, shrugging her shoulders adorably, “If you don’t get sick of me before then, sure”.

Glen shakes his head and reaches out to touch Billie’s arm, flashing her his most charming grin and loving the way she looks back at him in that moment. 

“I’m not sure that's actually possible Billie”.

Billie smiles, and Glen can’t tell if her cheeks flushing is from their workout or from his comment.

They walk over to their bags, Glen bending and handing Billie hers before bending to pick up his own. 

“Did you want to shower here? Or head home and meet up again?”

Billie shakes her head and holds out her hand, “I brought a change of clothes like you said, I’m happy to shower here. But it’s up to you?”

“No no, here’s good” Glen says, dabbing at his face again with his towel, “the bathrooms here are pretty fuckin’ amazing”. 

They walk towards the elevator and step in when the doors open, Billie’s perfume filling his nose as she brushes past. Glen presses the button for level 12, the two standing in comfortable silence as the doors close and they move up the building. 

The elevator dings and the doors open up to the reveal the luxury spa, shower and sauna level, Glen letting Billie step out in front of him.

“The female bathrooms are that way” Glen says, reaching up to run a hand through his sweaty hair, “I’ll meet you back out here?”

Billie nods, looking over in the direction of the bathrooms and back up at Glen with a soft smile.

“See you in a bit”.

---

Billie

This shower is better than the one at Billie’s house. No actually, it's the best shower she's ever used. At the gym of all places. 

It's all dark moody tile and black furnishings, the rainfall shower head providing the most amazing water pressure on her already aching muscles. Not to mention the luxury skin care products that are just free to use.

She’s in shower heaven. 

Or she would be, if Glen was in there with her.

Billie tips her head back and lets the warm water cascade over her, unable to think of little else except Glen. 

The way his muscles had rippled beneath his skin as he’d pulled himself up on the chin up bar, the way his biceps had flexed and moved as he’d picked up each dumbbell. Billie had barely been able to concentrate on her own exercises, not when Glen was looking like that, and certainly not when he was looking at her the way he had been. It was like he wanted to devour her - and if they hadn't been in public, she probably would have let him. 

Right there in the middle of the gym floor.

Their workout has left her feeling all wound up in more ways than one, like forty five minutes of insane heated foreplay without a finish line. If she were at home, she’d probably play with herself. 

She thinks about Glen in the shower, thinking about how badly she wants to have him pressed up naked against her, to feel his thick arms around her frame, his lips on her skin. 

Fuck.

What was this man doing to her? 

She wonders idly if he’s thinking about her the same way she is right now, suddenly remembering that he’s probably waiting for her outside and that she should get on with it. She exhales heavily through her nose and rinses the last of the soap suds from her skin, letting herself enjoy the shower for thirty more seconds before she turns off the tap.

Billie steps out of the shower and dries herself with the fluffiest white towel she’s ever used, changing into a pair of light blue mom jeans and a loose white button up shirt. She looks back at her reflection in the giant mirror of the luxury bathroom, tucking the front of her shirt loosely into the waist of her jeans and buttoning it just enough that it teases just a hint of cleavage.

She reapplies her makeup keeping it glowy and natural, using the gym’s very expensive hair dryer and blow waving her hair just enough that it’s tameable. She pulls her hair back into a loose braid leaving out a few face framing pieces, spritzing her favourite peachy perfume onto her neck and wrists. She steps back and looks over her reflection once more, deciding she’s happy with her look, packing up her things and walking out of the bathroom.

Billie does a double take when she walks out to find Glen sitting waiting for her on one of the cream leather lounges near the elevator, looking somehow even more handsome than he had earlier. 

He’s now dressed in a cream henley shirt and brown trousers, a pair of brown leather boots on his feet. His shirt is unbuttoned just enough that she can see the beginnings of his dark chest hair, his hair still damp from the shower and falling messily but somehow still perfectly.

As if he wasn’t handsome enough just looking like that, Billie feels her breath catch when he looks up and sees her, his lips parting in an utterly gorgeous smile.

Billie tries not to notice the way her body feels as his eyes run over every inch of her, following her hips as she walks towards him.

“You look gorgeous”.

Billie smiles. “See, I was just thinking that about you”.

Glen laughs and stands up in front of her, pressing the button for the elevator and holding open the door for her as they walk in. 

“Were you feeling anything particular for lunch?” he says looking down at her, Billie standing close enough to smell his delicious aftershave and fighting the urge to reply with ‘Besides you?’.

“I’m not fussy”.

Glen nods. “Good, I know just the place”.

---

Glen

“Were you really?” Billie asks, shaking her head in exasperation, “No way, I’ve seen that movie a thousand times, I’d have recognised you”

Glen laughs and nods his head, putting his hand on his heart to emphasize that he’s telling the truth,  “I swear I am. I’m in the stock exchange scene”. 

Billie’s brow furrows, like she’s replaying the scene in her head, and Glen chuckles when she reaches into her purse and pulls out her phone. 

“No way. I have to look this up”.

They’d just had lunch - they’d gotten sandwiches at one of Glen’s favourite spots near the Santa Monica beach. It was a little hole in the wall place with an outdoor courtyard type area at the back, and best of all, it wasn’t too well known about. On this sunny Sunday afternoon, it was the perfect choice.

He and Billie are sitting side by side in a wooden booth together, having just finished their food. They’d been there nearly three hours now, the conversation and laughs between them flowing effortlessly. It’s only been two days, and yet somehow Glen feels like he’s known Billie for months. 

They’d been talking about music choices when they exercised, Billie revealing that she actually liked to listen to movie scores when she ran - namely, superhero movie scores, saying that they made her feel motivated and pumped to keep going. That had brought them to talking about The Dark Knight Rises, at which point Glen had laughed and told her that he was actually in that movie.

He keeps his eyes on her face as she types on her phone, looking over her glowy skin and dark lashes, her full lips that make him want to kiss her for hours.

He hears the beginnings of a video play, the familiar menacing voice of Tom Hardy’s Bane character, watching as Billie’s eyes suddenly light up, her mouth dropping open in surprise.

“Oh my God it is you!” she exclaims adorably, looking up at Glen and then back at her screen still in disbelief, “How have I not noticed that before? How old are you there? You look like a baby”.

Glen laughs and takes a sip of his soda bottle, tapping his fingers against the plastic. 

“Twenty-something---, twenty-four, I think?” he says just as he hears Bane smash his character’s head into a computer.

“You know, I actually got a real concussion during that take. Tom got a bit too into his character and instead of just tapping me on the head like he was supposed to, he actually slammed my head down. Had to go see a medic and everything”

Billie’s eyes widen in shock for the second time, a soft laugh of surprise slipping from her lips. “Oh my god, really?”.

He nods and they both laugh, Glen looking over Billie as she shifts in her seat to better face him.

The afternoon sun is warm and Glen has since shed his jacket, his gaze hidden behind his sleek sunglasses. He takes advantage of that fact, savouring every moment of his eyes on Billie’s available skin, the edge of a pale blue bra peeking out from the dip of her shirt from this new angle.

He tries not to notice the way one of her denim covered thighs is now pressed against his, or the way one side of her white shirt has slipped down to expose her golden collarbone. He finds his imagination wondering what her skin would taste like on his tongue, how it would feel beneath his lips if he kissed along it.

Billie lifts her hand to look down at her watch and back up at Glen.

“You need to go?”. 

“No no, just thinking about Nugget”.

“If you want to go home and check on him it’s okay Billie”

“I want to” she says, her voice trailing off into a pause, “But, I also don’t want to leave”.

Glen smiles back at her, his eyes crinkling behind his sunglasses.

“Well, how about this then?” he asks, reaching up to run his fingers through his now dry hair, “You go home and grab Nugget, and then the two of you come to mine a little later for dinner?”

Billie tilts her head as looks at him, the corner of her mouth tugging into a smile, “Oh that is incredibly tempting”.

He grins and leans in towards her, loving the way her gorgeous hazel eyes are looking back at him. 

“Anything I can do to make it even more so?”

Billie ponders for a moment, her eyes still on his, her tongue sliding out to wet her pink lips.

“Well, for starters, keep smiling at me like that” Billie says, leaning her elbow on the table between them and resting her cheek on her hand, “Do you have any idea how handsome you are? Like, it's almost unfair how attractive you are”.

Glen chuckles softly, the sound rumbling in his throat.

“I’ve been thinking that same thought about you since the moment I met you at Rufus, Billie”.

“Oh really? You think I’m handsome?” Billie teases, a laugh bubbling up in her throat.

Glen only grins, reaching up to brush a loose hair from her face, swearing he sees her suck in a silent breath.

“Actually you know what” Billie breathes, her voice almost a whisper, “I think there is something you can do to tempt me more so”.

Glen raises a curious eyebrow, acutely aware of how close his face now is to hers.

“What’s that darlin?”

Billie exhales quietly, her perfect lips stretching into a soft, sexy smile.

“Kiss me”.

Glen needs no instruction after that.

He tilts Billie’s chin with his finger and angles her face to his, closing his eyes and pressing his lips to hers.

---

Previous Chapter

TAG LIST:

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#glen powell #glen powell fanfic #glen powell fic #glen powell series #glen powell smut #glen powell x ofc #glen powell fluff

[volivolition]

✨ thinking of him thursdayyyy ✨ (<- said in a monotone deadpan with jazz hands)

#volition thoughts. as usual. (sorry im so fucking deadpan all of a sudden hello lmao? probably bc i need to sleep.) #hey. volition ship captain and echem as a siren. what then huh. he's already like an octopus AND its mermay. #(<- will not act on this thought in the slightest but know that i am thinking it in the back of my mind) #i think they're lost at sea and the sirens keep singing and volition's losing more and more crew but he's fuckin volition so of course he's #not falling for it. but its okay in the end the sirens are just leading them back to land because my god give them happy endings. please. #concept and suggest would also be sirens i think. ency and logic are navigators. volta do mar should be here because i say so. #volta and kinetic dressage are little fairies then that help volition with sanity/the ship. who can stop me im not even making this. #anyway VOLITION. i am totally normal about him and 95% of my brainspace is definitely not occupied by thinking about him. #jesus ive been so tired lately (its! the! ✨ chronic fatigue! ✨) i WANT TO DRAW but i am. too tired. writing is easier... #but i want to draw so many volition things. hmgbmbbb... i want him to be loved... which in retrospect is fucking silly he is a character. #okay vision's straight up going unfocused so we're done here goodnight. o7 #chemi chats

[stardust-vi]

Dumb ramble but I hate that you can't critique The Thing you love within a fandom space without some dude breathing down your neck like "Well actually that means you hate The Author and The Thing! And what about all the times The Author did this Good Thing? Checkmate, liberal." as if you can't be critical of something because you love it and want it to be better.

#just. i'm in a rush rn so i'm probably not articulating myself well and i could go more in-depth with my thoughts #at the risk of someone spinning my words into “cringe blue hair pronoun wants to cancel araki!” which... will happen inevitably #even though i don't know how many times i can repeat “i do not hate araki #this is specifcally about jjba btw because like. #look i love it and araki has done some good things (or at least had good intentions in most cases) #but i'm so over the fact he constantly has to reach for some form of traumatizing women in his writing #and I already hear “well it shows they're a villain!” #but does he HAVE to use assault? why does he have to use that instead of demonstrating their villainy in other ways #that don't need to use it as a crutch #i'm not even saying you can't ever write about assault #that's not my argument either. #I'm not even accusing him of being a bad writer or person but just. Can we please retire the overusage of assault for shock value? #i obviously don't hate people who enjoy the series regardless #i'd be a massive fucking hypocrite #i mean i've literally been in this damn fandom for 6 years and just now decided to post my art. #but i'm tired of any time someone brings up legit criticisms of the misogyny in his writing #it's met with “but araki did this-” like it changes anything. #i'm glad he did somewhat improve writing women over time compared to the earlier parts #that said. that doesn't cancel out the blunders he did make or will make in the future #even if he has good intent. #or really any criticism of the writing being hit with “but its not supposed to make sense #anyways rant over. probably going to delete later bc im tired. #tw assault #assault tw

[a-nybodys]

spending any amount of time on twitter is like walking slowly towards the chernobyl elephants foot

#i just want to see peoples art i feel like fanart is so hard to see here now bcus ppl get demoralized when nobody reblogs it #but like otherwise i have to go on TWITTER #its genuine hell #anyway people are talking about how izzy dying is somehow the worst thing anyone has ever done and it erases any good that came from ofmd #yknow the show with one of the most diverse casts and crews ive ever seen in my life thats about middle aged gay romance #but yeah killing off the morally gray character who most of the fandom hated last year negates every bit of good the show ever did #legitimately fuck off #i think we all need to take some media literacy classes PLEASE #cus like wtf do u mean he died for no reason it was practically spelled out in all his big speeches in the last ep #and it was foreshadowed the whole fucking season!!!! #just cus u couldnt see it doesnt mean it wasnt there #and just because u didnt understand what the show is trying to do doesnt mean its bad writing #grow tf up PLEASE jesus christ #thanks for coming to my ted talk #anyway

[therealslimshady]

theres a lot of things that I wasn't expecting when watching evangeleon for the first time, but the thing that threw me for a loop the most was the shinji tragic gay romance arc????? Hello???? After all that girl stuff?????

#This is not a bad thing btw #Just so hilarious how they did so much will they won't they with the girls and then he just fell heads over heels with Kaworu #Say what you want about holding the same still frame for five minutes but that shot.... With the music.... heartbreaking #I think it's really cool that that's the one time the audience doesn't get to hear shinji lose it #Got very disappointed when the next episode didn't deal with that at all #Which don't get me wrong- I think the trippy ''how can I be happy'' stuff was cool! #It just would've been better if they had done any kind of lead up to it whatsoever #like can you imagine if they're all rushing to stop the third impact and then something happens and we get those last two episodes #no further explanation no hints as to what's really going on outside shinji's head besides quick shots that might just be misdirection #It would be so cool it would be so cool do you see my vision #Idk maybe they do that in end of evangeleon but I couldn't watch it #tried to push through but man... It's so bad.... #None of them would fucking do that #Anyways I heard the mangas different I wanna give that a read #All the characters are so good im obsessed with all of them #Please give all legal rights to evangeleon to me I have so many good ideas I can make evangeleon better then sliced bread you have no idea #No one is going to read this BUT IF YOU DO please talk to me about evangeleon I need someone to talk about evangeleon with #Anyways #Nge #neon genesis evangelion #Evangeleon #shinji ikari #kaworu nagisa #My post

[asummersday]

when will my writing motivation return from the war 😭

#please i just wanna post the next chapter #or at the very least start a oneshot or do literally anything #ive been more tired than usual and i dont like that #im ALWAYS so so tired #sometimes YEAH its because im up til 3 or even 4 #but ive also slept 9 hours. 12 hours. and yet ill STILL feel so tired #im too tired to do the things i want to do #and then i feel like ive just wasted my whole day :((( #how many times these past few weeks have i said im gonna get this chapter done huh? and it is NOT done #i love creating and writing but it takes so much energy sometimes :((( and i just dont have it :((( #i feel bad/down -> writing would help me feel better -> too tired/unmotivated to write -> doesnt write -> keeps feeling bad #rinse and repeat lmao #sometimes being nice to urself and waiting for the motivation doesnt work #sometimes u gotta sit at ur desk with a massive mug of coffee and say ''i will WRITE if its the last thing i fucking do'' #screw quality its time to write WORDS #anyway. im making myself coffee rn. i will get through this dammit #summer post

[practically-an-x-man]

it's like this whole car thing was an attempt to punish me for not having a job

#bc she openly admitted that she thought i didn't have the money to pay for it and was going to make me buy it anyway #and i don't *want* this car but I can't get to my sfx school without it so she's forcing me to buy it off her #and on monday (jan 29) she blocked me into a corner about paying it. saying we had a discussion that we did *not* have #and then told me i had to pay 150 dollars by the end of the month (two fucking days) for the first month's payment #(which is SUCH a trap. if i didn't have the money saved up then wtf would I have done? thankfully i have enough saved to pay for the car) #she's like... trying to force me to get an hourly job that i physically do not have time for by putting this sudden financial pressure on m #like please mom i will have a job as soon as i graduate it's literally the first thing i will do #just give me five more months to finish my goddamn higher education and i'll have time to start working

[sundial-bee-scribbles]

experimenting w/ blood colors, b/c red blood would not stand out on this hoe’s already red-as-hell design

#my art lol #blood tw #gore tw #self harm tw #vocaloid #fukase vocaloid #vocaloid fukase #ughhhh why do drawigns take so so long to make nowadays 😭 i can waste like an entire day doing this stuff man #dont have enough time to do the things i want or the motivation... well the last point maybe actually i do have motivation its called spite #and just these dumb fake computer program nerds are on my mind everyday all the time. please talk to me abt them 🥺 #everytime my old voca arts on here get notes or my yt shit gets views/likes/comments/whatever i become slightly more powerful #yes thats dumb but. whatever. #ANYWAYS why is this bitch's hair so hard to draw. LITERALLY EVERYTIME I DRAW HIM HIS HAIR IS DIFFERENT #LIKE AHKDSJHGK. his hairstyle isnt even that complicated wtf 😭 but it fucks me over so bad the hell!!! SOMEHOW EVEN LEN'S IS EASIER #in general the members of the meme squad im noticing i just cannot draw consistently at all... pain and sufferign but ily them #PIKO ESP IS A MOTHERFUCKER TO DRAW the hell is going on w/ his dress thing and his boots. augh. flower at least has good ref sheets #sorry to peeps expecting wholesome art or smthn (but when have i really done that??? the ogs know im edgy as hell 😩✌️😎 #ive done blue blood on him before so thats the one i prefer lowkey; the others didnt come out so good 😔 green's ok tho #was also going to do like a dark purple/black but im tired and also black wouldnt b very noticeable on him i think either...

[disdaidal]

The way I've actually lost -12kg & -10cm from my waist already, and I know I really should stick to my diet because I've already eaten enough calories today. But I'm really craving some coffee so much right now 😫

#personal #diet #tw diet #i was getting a little bit frustrated a while ago #because i ate more and then instantly gained some back #but then today i took the measuring tape again after i hadn't touched it for a month #and i was so pleased to see the results. like how much fat i'd lost from other places too #i mean my back fat is almost gone and i'm grateful for that because i fucking hated it #´my tummy looks a little bit smaller (that's where most of the fat gathers on my body anyway lol. and my boobs) #my arms look smaller and my shoulders look a little more toned too which is awesome #the only thing i'm sad about is that i lost my ass ;((( i have no ass anymore nooo #but otherwise i'm super happy because while these have been a frustrating few months #i've also gained results from it and i'm again one step closer to where i want to be #i just need to stay patient and take it easy (easier said than done)

[pearl-kite]

crying at your course instructor feels super awkward btw

#kite rambles #finally scheduled a call right #and the last time I tried this course I fucked up and waited too long to ask if there was possibly ANY alternative to a learner group #and found out there was! I could have used simulated data! ffs if I had stopped being so damn anxious and just ASKED right? #well that was why I set up this call #but apparently there's a new chair that's decided in the last couple of months that nope no simulated data whatsoever #and like uhhhhhhhh fuck? #so my advisor was trying to give some suggestions and they're good I'm absolutely going to look into them #but I asked about accommodations because my legitimately documented mental illness has got me so fucking frozen #and I TRIED to be kind of like 'so I don't necessarily WANT to rely on it but could it be worth looking into accommodations?' #and it did not end up as nonchalant as intended I started fucking crying #benefit: was able to be 'see what I mean?' #anyway I just want to be DONE with this fucking thing PLEASE I want my degree so I can put it on job applications like HIRE ME PLS #I've submitted 3 applications today with updated resume fingers crossed

[latinokaeya-moving]

i wuv ganyu so much even if the game has done nothing but make her entire personality overworked ‘waifu’ (😵‍💫) that only worries abt her weight but like the potential is There i can taste it and i am obsessed w it even if her outfit is so godawfully ugly. why did they have to do that to her

#x #gi posting #it’s genuinely so bad i havent seen a single redesign that didn’t immediately make her a million times more appealing #i love her horns and i like the stupid bell around her neck but everything else…. 🫢🫢🫢 girl. please #it annoys me bc she like xiao and zhongli is one of the few playable charas that were alive during the archon war n stuff #n both of them have significantly more interesting/culturally significant design choices that sorta show how importantly genshin thinks of #them… but nothing for my queen 😭😭😭 #the disrespect… i think she would’ve looked soooo good in some kind of fit inspired by modernised hanfu….. instead she wears those fucking. #leggings n a weird ass leotard thing EUGHHH #anyways. was saying this bc i Just saw a redesign i rlly liked. SHE HAD GOAT (ig qilin) LEGS IN IT LIKE!!! #i still love her tho ig…. my baby #i think other than kaeya (bc he will always be my number one LOL) she’s the one that i’ve done the most heavy lifting for in terms of like. #creating my own characterisation and understanding of her sbdksjd bc they give us Nothing for the most part n then there’ll be a handful of #snippets that r Just interesting enough to make me go crazy n want for more #i also think it’s really entertaining to use her meta mechanics within her characterisation n story. again i kinda do this w kaeya too but #specifically for ganyu it rlly fascinates me that she’s canonically partially a creature known to be incredibly docile and benevolent and #goes out of its way to not hurt living beings meanwhile gameplay wise she’s like. arguably an absolute beast of a hypercarry n one of the #strongest dps’ in the game. like that’s just such a funny contrast to me i love playing w that idea in my head #BUT YEAH. Anyways. i feel like i’m always talking abt kaeya (LOL) so have some ganyu my beloved rambles now instead…

[psikind]

wow I really don’t know what to do with myself 

#drb #vent #usfw #hi if you follow me and are a minor please don't read these tags for your own good please #seriously take care of yourself block any tag variations of n/sfw or whatever #anyways! hi on top of every fucking thing else lately I just found out that someone comming me has #commissioned child/parent inc*st p*rn of their own ocs! great thanks cool not like that's literally in my dni and for extra purpose! #I haven't done the comm yet and am now planning on just refunding and blocking them but christ I just. #I'm so stupid I should have looked before but I was really in need of money at the time anyways but I still wouldn't have accepted it and #I'm just really stupid I'm always really stupid this wouldn't have happened if I was more cautious or could take care of things easier like #the adult I'm supposed to be why am I like this #I don't even know how to feel better or distract from this I don't want to ask for help I'm already given it too much but #ugh

[convxction]

[ you being nice and wholesome to chrom will make him very emotional. thanks for support friend. 

#⚔ooc.⚔ (faty speaks) #[i see wholesome art even for other fandoms make my brain ah yes for krumb too. this is neat. #[sobs in my hands #[give him more friends dang it! every type of friend ok??? rivals hello??? #[it is funny that chrom is just =_= looking sometimes and ppl assume he might slice them if they spoke to him #[or like argued with him or disagreed with him but hes like 'ok so?' and thats just culture shock to them #[1) if they knew who is his father that will make them very shooketh yes #[2) his face is really not friendly-ish looking when you first meet him ...man it takes a bit for you to notice his subtle smile #[(shut up chrom is not huehue kind of guy please understand that he is military man first and foremost sobs) #[3) being as i said military man means he either gonna take no one's advice or suggestion because he is right always #[or the type who will K you instantly without arguing #[so yeah i want that ok???? #[i want more interactions figuring these tiny little things about him first and not just 'well hello there hamsom / brave/ strong man' #[dont get me wrong lmao i am berry ok with that but dont think i had the 'press x to doubt' moment for chrom #[it is neat if he is trying to talk to someone and they just backs away thinking he will hurt them and chrom WHY YOU FUCKING RUNNING AWAY??? #[them: IT IS BECAUSE YOU ARE COMING AT ME!!!!! WHY YOU YELLING!? #[chrom: BECAUSE YOU ARE RUNNING AWAY I HAVE NOT DONE ANYTHING! IM RYING TO TALK TO YOU PUNK! #[back and forth until they ....ok. lets just. calm down. #[aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaakrumb loves his friends and family ;;u;; #[anyway. here some chocolate/ strawberry milk for bribe.

[loverboybitch]

hi yall im back from being in the woods for two days with some of my friends and every part of me is so sore and tired and exhausted but i had such a nice time, also this is pretty much the only pic i took on my phone before it died. could not tellu who that is or what was happening but it might be my friend falling into the lake cause he tried to stand in a kayak while drunk.//.

#imjustsittinghere #uploads #literally slept on the doc under only a blanket and the stars it was very beautiful except for the mosquittos #we made all our meals in a cast iron pan in the campfire < #very cool little day we just kayaked around and got wreckedlol #wish i could have like a decompress session lol 1 because i am exhausted but 2 because feelings and my friends both said some things to me #while absolutly off their fiucking rockers #my one friend going 'NO shut up i need to vibe with shane rn. listen. we wont remember any of this but i hope we grow old together' #baby......baby!!!! u mighta done too much k and not remember but baby i remember<3 same <3 #my other frined who i have always thought is jus so cool and charismatic n hot stopping me mid sentence to say 'god ur so much cooler thanme #shutup!!!!!!!!! but also i love you thank you <3 #anyway anyway im a little sunburnt n i have to fucking work a shift tonight lol shoot me in the dome please #but also im so tired n sore n i want to lay in bed and have someone rub my back honestly #oh lastly will probably elaborate at some point but yo just not being able to get texts cause i had no service then my phone died #for two days was like...blis.......... #whenever we werent doing something iwas jus looking at the stars or thinkin or getting firewood r somethn #was a grand ol time <3 also cause we wantd to do bushcraft shit #we endedup making a torch out of tree sap and some old carpet and yarn and it kinda worked!!! for like 15 minutes at least! #definetly coulda been better but good first try #also some of the sap dripped onto my hand and i have a big gross blister burn scab thing gross ouchie