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monorayjak · 6 months

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I want to come out to the people I care about. I want to be honest with them. I've written and rewritten a letter to my mom about all of it tens of times now; I just... I'm scared.

What if they don't believe me? What if they try to convince me I'm wrong? What if I am wrong? And I just went through all of this because I tricked myself? What if its the exact opposite and they try to pull me farther for my own good without realizing this stuff takes time? What if my extended family finds out? I mean one of my uncles is already a mentally unstable bigoted religious freak who's considered killing people and himself before because he can. What if people I care about get hurt? But also... what if I can't keep going like this much longer? It hurts. So much. Its fucking with my grades, I'm scared. I feel like I'm fucking up so much.

It just... it feels like no matter what I do is wrong.

Holy shit

I'm living in a trolley problem.

If I take action, it's untelling how many will be affected; but if I don't take action it will just be me affected at first. But even if I don't take action, I get the feeling the people I care about will be hurt as well, just later on. You know... now that I've thought that through... maybe I should make a list of things that could happen depending on the choice, kind of like a pro-con list, but... is that stupid?

#idk #lgbt+#i'm writing more #transfem #trans #help #transgender #transfeminine #mtf #lgbtq+#queer #gender queer #queer as in fuck you #queer stuff #dysphoria is a bitch #how much longer can I put up this charade?#anyone got tips?#or advice?#or anything

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readyformyend · 6 months

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Dude, I wanna km5 but like... I'm still tryna work out how to do it yk???

Like, I think taking pills and going to sleep would be best, but I live w ppl and don't want them to see a dead body yk? But like Idk where around me I could hide and take pills and then just sleep yk what I mean?

But I think I'ma have a list of stuff I wanna do before I die. Like idk eat something sweet without feeling like I'm MASSIVE and then die

#su1c1d10 #su1c1d3 #su1c1d4l #su1c1dal #want2die #want 2 cry #sh #any ideas?#anyone got tips?#man i need some suggestions #just want it to be over

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positivityjediprince · 2 years

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I commited an act of such hubris (trying to speed paint my nails with only minutes till my bus) that the Gods had no choice but to instantly punish me (I spilt black nail varnish on my favourite light coloured trousers).

#anyone got tips?#it dried like instantly and i smuged it like an idiot #the bus is like right outside my house...i got too bold too arrogant i had to be striked down

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clit-a-cola · 1 month

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Lesbians!!!!!

I'm struggling to learn blending and blurring in the digital medium....

#blogging #digital #I mean I also kinda struggle in other mediums as well.#Anyone got tips?#For digital or watercolor or oil or marker like I'm sure they'd all help lol

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jaime-in-chaos · 6 months

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I am working on a storyboard right now, wish me luck!

#artists on tumblr #I am trying storyboarding #anyone got tips?#iterators #iterator oc

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bamber344 · 6 months

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what is it about learning to draw specifically that has me wanting to tear my hair out more than any other art form?

I play multiple instruments, I was shit at them when I started but I pushed through and learnt the basics without too much trouble

I'm a writer, I made tons of mistakes when I started and I still have a lot to learn in the field, but writing is still satisfying and fulfilling, and always has been.

but if i try to draw one of my OCs and the shape of the face is even slightly off? Or I just can't get the hair right? I have to physically resist the urge to scribble or erase the whole thing out and throw the sketchbook across the room

is this just a me thing or can anyone else relate?

#art #artist #writing #drawing #new artist #beginning artist #anyone got tips?#writers

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eldestwitcher · 2 years

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peeling and cutting onions is literally the bane of my existance. my face melts off like the warm cheese on a raclette spoon and i get flashabanged in the face with the stingy particles. in utter despair i reach for the kitchen towel hoping to wipe away my enemies juices as i realise its in the air like covid and theres no escape

garlic is a whole other story, less dramatic but equally suicide inducing

#kitchen nightmares #onion hate #layer after layer of pure pain #anyone got tips?

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becca-e-barnes · 1 year

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I was getting my hair done today and I couldn't stop thinking about ex!husband Bucky finding out you started dating other people after the divorce and how fun the sex would be if he got jealous 😵‍💫

Because imagine how slowly he'd slide his dick into you, holding your chin in one hand to make sure you don't take your eyes off his. He presses into you so damn slowly, making sure you feel the way your body adjusts to allow him inside you. You're way more desperate than you even realised you would be and he knows it.

"What's wrong, sweetheart?" He chuckles quietly, his cheeks flushed, stroking your chin gently with his thumb. "You've gone a little stupid already. Didn't he fuck you right? I bet he didn't. Could've told you he wasn't right for you." It'd been four days since you'd bumped into Bucky while out having dinner with someone else. In truth, the guy you went out with hadn't been all that interesting and you'd parted ways after a couple of drinks but Bucky didn't need to know that.

"He was pretty good actually." You tried to keep your voice steady, despite Bucky's distracting kisses to your neck. "You're gonna have a hard time living up to him."

Your ex-husband huffs out a laugh, his breath hot against your skin. "You've always been a terrible liar." The confidence that drips from his tone is enough to send shivers down your spine.

He's not wrong, it had always been a running joke between the two of you.

"Just looking at that guy, I could tell he wouldn't be able to work out where you like to be touched." His hand moves from your chin to trail ever so gently up the outside of your bare thigh. The featherlight touch leaves you wondering if you'd had goosebumps all evening or if they'd just risen in the last couple of minutes but then you're reminded that this man has taken the time to learn your body like no one else.

"He looked like he'd be selfish. I don't think he understands that the real pleasure in being with you is in getting to watch you come apart. There's nothing like it." He's slipping a little, lost in his admiration of your body. His fingertip trails lightly over your hardened nipple and you know he's remembering the way you gasp when he sucks on the sensitive bud.

"There's nothing like feeling you cum around me and knowing I caused it." He groans quietly, pressing as deep inside you as he can. "And hearing you whimpering my name." He's consumed by the feeling of you, indulging in the memory of the pleasure you've brought each other. "Hearing you begging me to stop when you're so wrung out, you just can't take any more."

He's unbearable in the very best way. He's hardly moved at all and you haven't even noticed because the way he touches you is so distracting. He knows your body and he gets off on showing you that.

His hand drifts back up your body to hold your chin once more, making sure you're watching as he drags his length from the heat of your sex, only to press back in, tearing a gasp from both of you. "You feel perfect. You were made for me." He groans, repeating the motion again and again, enjoying the way your body flutters around his.

#becca's thots #becca writes spice #Bucky Barnes smut #exhusband! bucky smut #I don't know why but I'd been listening to 'king of my heart' by Taylor Swift in the car and this popped into my head #So I thought about it for the 4 and a half hours it took to do my hair #my hair is completely pink now and I'm in LOVE #and I got the shark flexstyle so if anyone has any tips/products to make the curls last pls share them

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painfulguess · 2 months

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hello hfjone community

closeups and alts under the cut

actually had a lot of fun with this :3

all of the numbers here are accurate (the radio number leads to the sheep place)

and, the part im probably the proudest of

(look moldys like 40 pixels i love it)

and airy has an alt (liam doesnt get any bc he gets the contestants </3)

incase anyone likes this enough to want to use it elsewhere, please ask me beforehand! or, at least credit me? im not strict abt it just be decent

#my art heehoo #onehfj #hfjone #hfjone airy #airy hfjone #hfjone liam #liam hfjone #liam plecak #hfjone spoilers #object shows #osc #object show community #ahhh parallel arts my beloved <3 #lets hope this is decent quality when i post engijferf #if anyone has tips for tagging object shows id like to know! just got into this fandom so. yeah

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teabutmakeitazure · 1 month

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Zuri's Declassified University Survival Guide

This is a post about survival tips in university (undergraduate), especially if you're an international student living alone in a different country in this circumstance. I will be adding onto this later on if there's something I want to add, so keep an eye out for update reblogs of this I guess.

General Tips:

it's okay to make mistakes. you are here to learn and grow. no one is perfect, especially in the first and second year of their studies. those are mandatory experimental years. you're not expected to get magically mature and perfect when you get to university (or college for you americans). be kind to yourself and analyse your mistakes instead of beating yourself over them.

don't bother too much about your wardrobe. just wear whatever's comfortable. you might think people care but no one does. more than half of the people at campus will be in sweats or pyjamas and if someone IS dressed up, they're probably arts kids or business majors and they're the ones with the least workload (yes i am dissing you guys I've seen your workloads stop lying).

put yourself in uncomfortable social situations. yes i said that. the only reason i somewhat learnt to make small talk and learnt to talk to strangers is because I go to every single social event that I can. it's not necessary to make friends in all of them. just talk to people, exchange contacts, laugh while the event lasts even if you never see them again. this is how you survive in the lonely dorm life. and if you make an actual good friend? amazing! it paid off. even if it didn't you'll probably network and build rapport and have acquaintances from different majors.

if you're an ethnic minority, don't be afraid. I cannot stress this enough. don't be afraid to be there and take up space. you are there because you deserve to be and qualified. sure, it sucks at times because a good amount of people won't interact with you because you're 'different' but the international students will and trust me they're the coolest bunch to be friends with (I have 0 such friends so far). most times you will have to take the initiative to talk and sometimes they won't respond or worse flat out ignore you but don't let that get you down. just don't interact with them again. the world is big. not everyone will like you and accept you. find the ones that will.

eggs and milk are your best friend. a glass of milk everyday and 2 eggs. make that a staple. eggs are also very versatile for recipes. more on that in the recipes section. also yoghurt. a smol cup of yoghurt everyday too and nuts whenever you can buy them.

always have a few pack of instant noodles at home. sometimes you have deadlines or you forgot to cook or need a quick dinner because there's so much to do and you didn't get groceries. always keep them in stock. they're a quick fix for food. I'm not promoting them for frequent dinner but it's better than starving. just eat the noodles man. there's already so much shit to keep track of just eat the damn noodles.

incorporate veggies into everything food. they're good for you. if you're like me and don't like veggies, experiment with different recipes and find the one you like best. one good way is fried rice or rice with mushrooms, veggies, and meat in the rice cooker (I don't own a rice cooker when I'm writing this). just eat your veggies and thank me later. if you don't wanna cut them up, get a pack of frozen veggies. it's better than nothing. baby steps.

meal plan. if I don't plan my entire week's food on sunday night, I do it the night before for the next day. eat out as less as you can. homemade is better even if you're a horrible cook. practice makes perfect and you'll be grateful for learning a few basic cooking skills along with your degree later on. cooking your own food also gives you the liberty to add more veggies or save money.

treat yourself to stuff sometimes. yes you deserve it even if you don't meet your goals. you're trying. be kind to yourself. get that boba.

study everything done the week by that week's weekend. do the day's content that same day and don't lag behind. utilise reading week and read. don't slack off please I'm begging you. I'll even get on my knees if I have to.

you're gonna miss home and it sucks. yes you will be having your fourth mental breakdown of the week on a wednesday night and you will be alone or hiding under the blanket as your roommate is asleep. you're gonna have to tough it out soldier. I see you and I feel you. it gets easier with time and when you're doing better, you'll feel relieved for toughing through. it's so lonely sometimes and it sucks but it's worth the pain. don't lose hope.

seniors are your friends. they will give you forbidden knowledge for free. from hidden places with good food or convenience things or just life advice exclusive to your institute, they have it all. they're also generally very friendly so don't be afraid to interact with them.

annoy the living hell out of your professor during office hours if need be and utilise the student help room for help. your tutors will be happy to help you so don't be shy to ask for help. they will appreciate you coming to them, trust me. as for your professor, they're lonely people. go to office hours if you need to, chat, ask them what you need. they'll appreciate your presence and happily help you.

the security guards and cleaning staff will be witnesses to your worst states (freshly out of bed or haven't showered in 2 days) but they don't care. they're just happy to be of service and have you around. be kind to them. greet them whenever you pass by.

sometimes coffee is bad.

if your classes start at noon or later, get an hour of exercise in the morning at around 8 or 9 am. the serotonin that will hit you will be unreal. trust me.

make local friends. they're cool people and friendly and very helpful and accommodating. I may be biased but it's true.

being a student helper, student tutor, or a research assistant looks good on your resume and helps you win more scholarships.

put headphones on when in public if you don't want to end up talking to someone you might bump into. it works.

your body also has rights. treat it with care. don't abuse it. nourish it. you should take care of your body like you would a loved one. feed it good things, clean it everyday, and so on. when you feel good by taking care of yourself, you still do better and feel more confident. wash your hair with a set schedule and use good products.

make your wardrobe easier. hang your usual shirts and maybe wear the one in front each day, the previous day's being hung in the back or in the laundry basket. it saves time.

there's no shame in not having stuff. I still don't own a proper laundry basket it all goes into an IKEA bag. you live in a dorm, not a house. sometimes not having every single kind of furniture or accessory isn't bad. don't compare your setup to others. if it's convenient, clean, and homey, it's good. you don't need those expensive lights or those expensive posters to make it seem cool. what you have and what you may collect among the way is enough.

notes on paper are better than laptop or ipad

take breaks. be kind to yourself. it is you for yourself. treat yourself with love.

manage your time by designating time blocks to a certain task. it might not always work but it will help create some discipline in the routine.

having a set everyday routine helps. you don't have to think what to do, thus saving you brain power.

use a semester planner for deadlines and important information. it's useful. I highly recommend. I also have a template if anyone wants.

write down your thoughts, what's bothering you, your feelings, everything on a piece of paper or journal at the end of the day. it'll help process your emotions and you won't have to let the thoughts and emotions fester inside you, slowly simmering and coming to a boil. remember, you are your best friend.

Recipes to help you stay afloat (they're all quick and easy dw):

right off the bat I want to say boiled jasmine rice with sunny side up eggs. you drizzle a pinch of salt onto the yolk, break it over the rice, mix it with the rice and eat it and it's just *chef's kiss*. definitely a comfort food and a very easy quick dinner.

a lot of these I found while scrolling through instagram and some are from when I was trying to lose weight. hope they're helpful!

oyakodon

one pot rice cooker rice with veggies

veggie and meat single serve in one pot

chicken wrap (primarily for weight loss I think)

chicken gyros (this guy makes amazing food)

minced meat weight loss meal prep

chickpeas (chana masala. this shit is bussin i swear)

something tomato + onion + egg

one pot veggie rice (recommended)

chicken shawarma (not dorm friendly cooking but looks delicious)

egg sandwich in one pan