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humphul · 20 days

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real talk for a second and yes i'm gonna criticize my fellow t-slurs here so buckle up

✨ the queer community hasn't broken down gender roles like we were supposed to ✨

there are currently 6 acceptable gender/sex combinations, according to the behaviour of the mainstream queer community:

dick + no breasts + manhood = cis man

vagina + breasts + womanhood = cis woman

dick + breasts + womanhood = trans woman

vagina + breasts (or top surgery scar) + manhood = trans man

dick + no breasts (or very slight HRT breasts. for some reason with this one i've noticed the size of the breasts affects the validity of the identity) + non-binary = boy non-binary

vagina + breasts (preferably in a binder) + non-binary = girl non-binary

and anyone who falls outside those 6 categories is still treated as an aberration (or at the very least, marginalized within our community), including:

trans women who've had vaginoplasty

trans men who've had phalloplasty

trans women or trans men who aren't interested in HRT (they're accepted as trans, but they're infantilized as babytrans and there's an assumption that they're waiting to start HRT)

non-binary people who have an unusual combination of sex/gender characteristics

non-binary AFABs with big breasts who don't wear binders

cis butch lesbians who keep getting called trans men because they look masc

cis gay men who keep being the butt of jokes about being uncracked eggs because they wear skirts, dresses or makeup

intersex people intersex people intersex people intersex people intersex people intersex people intersex people intersex people

and there are weird expectations about how you're allowed to break the rules (that's a hell of a sentence lol)

e.g. i'm AMAB non-binary. i have a dick, breasts, facial hair, and i usually wear masculine clothes. i'm less accepted than my AMAB non-binary friend who has a dick, breasts, facial hair, and usually wears feminine clothes.

i sometimes feel like instead of breaking down the gender binary and abolishing gender roles, we've just added 4 extra genders, and the gender roles and rules got more complicated.

we (you) really need to do better. i'm tired of feeling like a freak to both the cis and trans communities. this isn't how it was supposed to be.

of course it goes without saying that i am hopelessly dependant on bigots fucking the hell off my posts. this is a conversations for queer people

#trans #non-binary #intersex #transphobic #gender #queer #rant

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pansyboybloom · 3 months

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I remember when some ppl on here got so mad at an innocuous post (that i think didnt even had to do with this) that they started posting "masculine men positivity" of just... cis men with beards and all that, and a bunch of people started making think pieces that if you read them you would have thought that men get beat up on the streets for NOT wearing skirts or pink eyeshadow... I can't belive that there's QUEER people that think that for some reason masculinity, specially on men, is under attack when men being masculine is what society expects and NOT being masculine is what a lot of people not just men get punished for, like if you didn't know these people were queer you would look at the way they talk about how masculine men are being oppressed and immediately think "this was written by a right wing bigot", like guys on here writting about how masculine men are oppressed... what separates their argument from homophobes commenting "make men masculine again" on posts of a man wearing a skirt, I think it's specially obvious when they get super mad at joke posts that are like "all men need to wear skirts or they aren't worth it" and take it as a personal offense and a real instance of the world??? Do they think men are getting jumped outside because they don't have their nails painted? I think it's specially horrible when they bring up butches, and black men to defend their argument of masculinity being "oppressed"

like, i absolutely wont pretend to know what life is like for all masc queer men in all parts of the world, but as someone who has grown up in Ye Ol' South, even in a safer area than most, the expectation here is 100000% that a queer man who is hard masc is inherently more deserving of humanity than a fem queer one, including trans men. 'make men masculine again' is written on real life bumper stickers that you can see in high school parking lots. while mike the jock is obviously still in danger of being queerbashed, if he presents as hard masc and plays his cards right, he is less likely to be than the 'dirty sissy' fem man. and it's the same for trans men-- being extremely masc won't make your gender respected, but you are slightly less likely to be beaten up than a guy like me who wears a skirt.

heavy irl example of a queer-bashing hate crime description below heads up:

when i was in middle school, there was one very, very fem gay boy who had his head bashed into a mirror in the boys' locker room hard enough to break the mirror and send him to the hospital. would the boys in my school likely attack a masc gay classmate as well? yes. but everyone, cishet and queer, knew that that was less likely to happen because the masc queer men were the 'good ones' who 'didn't shove it down your throat' and 'kept it in the bedroom' unlike the 'sissy fags' (GROSS stuff to say about a fucking middle schooler but ya know, homophobia!)

like i said, can't speak for everyone and everywhere! but my life experience? a lot of guys forced themselves to be masc for safety. i know guys who faced so much horrible rhetoric that they would google speech therapy to 'talk more masc' or join in on the queerbashing and bullying, bc even if they couldn't be 100% masc, beating up the other, more fem guys would earn them some basis of safety.

are queer women threatened for being gnc? for being butch or masc? yes. absolutely. but at least in my neck of the woods, it ain't the same for queer men. but like i said. just my experiences

#queerbashing tw #hate crime tw #homophobia tw #sissy tw #negative #long post

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absolutebl · 1 year

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a follow up from my yelling:

hi hello yes i have seen smol earth's instagram and it is a breath of fresh air. i don't have an instagram but i was actually considering breaking my social media abstinence vow to follow him lmao.

but i do actually have a few questions: why do you think thailand (instead of somewhere like taiwan where they actually have marriage equality) is the one giving us actually good genderqueer rep? do you think it has something to do with there being a "third gender"? why do you think taiwan aren't doing anything with genderqueer rep? and what are your predictions for korea and japan in terms of genderqueer representation in the future?

my bets are on kbl being second to feature a non-cis characer, based on the fact that we had a surprisingly well done trans character in a mainstreem k-drama.

thank you,

~linc

why do you think thailand (instead of somewhere like taiwan where they actually have marriage equality) is the one giving us actually good genderqueer rep? do you think it has something to do with there being a "third gender"

Hum yes I think it has to do with 3rd gender and cultural and linguistic malleability around ideas of gender and sexuality. I don't want to be biologically deterministic though. The two are linked, it's not necessarily that the one causes the other.

I’m assuming you are not including Pinoy and Vietnamese stuff? Because they had this covered from the start.

here more kinda stuff around this topic:

Queer Lens & Thai BL

BL Linguistics & Queer Identity I Am Gay versus I Like Men

Husband Wife Language in Thai BL (SOTUS, TharnType + a lot of 2022 BL)

Touch & Daisy in Secret Crush On You - Queer Coded Language and 3rd Gender Identity

Daisy, kathoey, 3rd third gender, Thai language & culture (and a bit of BL)

Thai BL Lacks Representation of Butch & Transgender Men (and why this has to do with Thailand's 3rd Gender)

my bets are on kbl being second to feature a non-cis characer, based on the fact that we had a surprisingly well done trans character in a mainstreem k-drama.

And... I'll take that bet because I'd win, Taiwan is the one who actually just put a femme in a manger role in their latest BL HIStory 5. Admittedly, a side and not a main but still, this is a pretty big deal for them.

Unless you count The New Employee’s pride college crew?

Why do I think Taiwan is so late to the party?

Well Taiwan is still very much Chinese in culture and aesthetics (for all its westernization). China doesn't have much of a history portraying cross dressing or other visual markers of queerness in their pop culture, legends, or mythos. Every culture has some, of course. Korea does (mostly women cross dressing as men, which they flipping LOVE). Japan really does (check out Edo period Wakashu for an epic historical mind fuck) also they LOVE (fetishize) gender bending, crossdressing, and intentional androgyny on the main, and have a strong tradition of queer films and representation (just not much in JBL for source yaoi reasons). So I think Japan probably actually got there first, just not in the shows we follow (see soemthing like 2015′s Udagawachou de Matteteyo or 2021 Colorful Love: Genderless Danshi ni Aisareteimasu)

I think a country's heritage even if it's staged cross dressing (men as women) for punch down humor (as we see throughout Western history) plays into how and what queerness is depicted by that country in pop culture's modern iteration. Also how it crawls down its own path to acceptance and representation in the entertainment industry.

What are your predictions for korea and japan in terms of genderqueer representation in the future?

Japan we are gonna (I hope) see some more out gay/queer actors in leading roles, as well as a skew more kinky stuff in general, and more androgynous visuals plus cross dressing their characters for stage, comedy, or fantasy etc... (See My Love Mix Up for an example of this).

Never discount Japan if they have access to maid costume.

Or a butler/waiter uniform for that matter.

Korea I don’t know. I think butch lesbians are more likely from them as side characters than anything else and even then, I’m not confident. They like gender bending in their kpop fashion but they like their male mannerisms to be super masc there, clearly. Manic pixie dream boy = yes, but actual femme = seems pretty frowned upon, if not outright bashed. (See the Holland incident.)

Taiwan: even though they are unquestionably the queerest country to produce BL, and the only one with marriage equality, Taiwan is very invested in super masc presenting BL leads. (As, indeed, was China in its BL heyday.) It's kinda a matter of taste but also a kinda in your face:

our two men and manly men and they wanna fuck each other. Whacha gonna do about it?

Is this a bit of a side effect of leaning hard away from seme/uke and Thailand's obsession with imposing a heterosexual skew on their BL? Maybe. Taiwan also distinguishes itself by rarely adapting from graphic novel content, or even novels, so they are particularly separated from a literary tradition that likes the skewed het-ness of seme/uke.

Also all these countries are following a trend, which is towards more and better queer rep of the kind that is partly dictated by global taste. (Well, except Japan, of course. Because Japan sticks to its lanes.)

BL is getting not only queerer than we supposed it could, but queerer than we can suppose.

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feralattentionwhore · 2 years

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Get to know the blog:

So apparently my horny posts are something worth following for so I guess I'll do a bio and about me thing that definitely won't turn into a random ADHD ramble about shit

About me

I'm Feral, 19 and I never learnt how to read ✌️

^^ I'm leaving this up because I think it's hilarious but I'm 20 now

Living in the UK but not white

demisexual as fuck, preference for women but honestly I'm more interested in how we vibe than any gender. I tend to identify most with lesbian/sapphic labels because I feel most comfortable in this community.

fuck knows my gender either, I mostly present femme atm but I just identify as *all* I'd say I'm more nb/w or nb/nb & t4t but just in love with queer people in general. I am a girl but I'm also a boy, I'm not cis. You aren't straight if you're attracted to me

Owned, completely and utterly in love, technically poly. I'd rather start off as friends and see how it goes (benefits available if we vibe)

-Dni and more under than the cut-

DNI:

I'm saying this now, I love y'all but minors please get off my page *respectfully*. This includes blank blogs without your age/ age range

Cis men-Age regressors-People who fetishise trans people, s*ssies and cross dressers-Gender/sexuality correction-terfs/homophobes etc-

Oh and PSA this fucking includes people who gatekeep LGBT labels, including but not limited to hating on butch lesbians who transition, nb&he/him lesbians. Just honestly if you aren't accepting of the ✨ENTIRE✨ LGBT+ community and how people choose to identify please leave. No buts no ifs no maybes

How to give attention:

Asks are completely okay, if you want to talk through anon regularly pick an emote and I'll be sure to tag it so they're easy to find. Flirt with me or ask questions, just keep it within my limits please.

Requests are also totally okay along with reblogs of any of my posts. They're always appreciated!

Unless we've interacted before please don't randomly DM me. Mutuals are obviously always welcome to chat, for non moots I prefer asks as I get a lot of anxiety

I tend to check out profiles that reblog/follow so if you want to be moots then that's the way to go

I can't believe I have to say this, but if you're only messaging me to sext or roleplay or whatever you call it you can leave. It makes me uncomfortable, and will most likely make me feel weird about talking to you again in the future. I'm happy to flirt but unless we've talked about it nothing more.

Safe words and talks about boundaries and limits are non negotiable in kink. If you're not respectful of that you're not a dom, if you don't have complete understanding of how this works and expect to engage in anything sexual with someone without doing proper preparation you're practicing unsafe and frankly dangerous kink. Kink is something serious and you need to know what you're doing

I'm demisexual, with a partner and require actual communication before I engage in anything other than flirting. If you're literally only talking to me bc I'm hot or for sex n stuff you're going to be disappointed

I also have a shit tonne of anxiety, so I will disappear if something makes me feel unsafe. If I don't reply, don't make it worse by getting upset. I'm sorry but I really just don't have the energy to deal with things, especially when we don't really vibe.

About ✨whore✨me:

I'm a sub mostly, total bottom and complete mess irl. thought I was ace until this year and basically innocent af (I mean significantly less as of v recently but still fairly shy). Also kinda a hermit so I'm very touch starved.

Short long summary of my kinks.. To be continued..

- Praise and nicknames, specifically cute ones that start with "my"

- Exhibitionism Mostly being uh, fucked in front of people and stuff

- hands and fingersJust god, everything to do with them. In my mouth? Yes, Pulling my hair? Yesss, choking me?? Yesssssssss, hurting tf out of me?? Please

- being manhandled, strength, just be stronger than me and throw me around pls&ty

- being a simp for me and letting me get away with pretty much anything?? Yes

- being controlled and posessiveness Like a lot, like probably more than a healthy amount

- being teased, constantly

- marks.. Just fucking marks feeling owned and having proof of it with collars and stuff

- and also pain, pain and more pain all the hard kinks

- voices, dirty talk, the way they beg, and moan, and call me a good girl, the way their voice drops when they tease me. Everything about voices

- corruption.. 👀 😤

- being free use, letting friends fuuck me, being a whore for everyone. Them sharing my nudes with their friends, them letting their friends fuck me? Yes please

- affectionate domination / soft doms but rough sex

- most of this is just the long way of saying I have a massive kink for my pretty ass girlfriend though.. Just everything about them.. Mostly their hands, and their voice and uh.. Yeah just them

Limits:

-degradation, any way shape or form,I'll most definitely cry. Acting like you don't like me, hurt me because you love me not because you think I'm worthless

- pet play, Ddlg and that kind of vibe aren't for me

- I don't quite know how to explain it but the strict af, black suit and tie, academy / high protocol/training style/straight people bdsm. It's just way too nonpersonal for me and not fun. I prefer messing around and stuff plus my gf looks way better in a skirt

- discipline, punishments and other things that make me think you hate me (see: I'm a big ass baby and sensitive af)

- refering to my uhh *anatomy* just uh it gives me dysphoria like a lot so please don't

- body fluid shit, incest, feet, tickling, hypnosis

- other things that I'm not perticularly comfortable talking about here, you don't need to know unless we're talking

Tags I use:

Yes I'm insanely bad at tagging things, yes I'm trying, no it's not working. If I forget to, just get mad at me in asks or something. I'm sorry ADHD just kind of does that

#feral asks - all asks that I've answered

#feral music - music recommendations because I have a god complex about music

#feral in love - direct posts about my gf/wife/partner/Dom/love of my life

#feral tmi - random personal shit about myself and figuring out my body

#feral reblogs - stuff I reblog, I have a separate account where I keep most of my reblogs but sometimes I can't help it

#needy feral - me begging for attention on Tumblr

#feral exposed - photos of me

#tw feral - depressing shit, mute the tag if you don't want to see that shit

#dark feral - hard kink shit, mute if you'd rather not see it

#feral complaints - shit that bothers me

#feral blogs - thoughts, updates and questions for you all about the blog

#nsft #About me #get to know the blogger #get to know me #rambles #im in looooove #i don't know how to tag this #needy feral #feral tmi #feral asks #feral in love #feral music #feral complaints #dark feral #tw feral #feral exposed #feral blogs

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sanfielle · 1 year

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how are trans masc people inherently privileged? not all of us are cis passing binary trans men who have Male Privilege ™ and actively most of us face a lot of violence and hatred as well. why cant we be a united trans front instead of playing privilege war?

disclaimer: i am tme so my opinion and interpretation is colored by this, if any transfems want to comment please feel welcome to do so. this is probably the only anon i'll answer in my inbox because i feel it might be the only one in some good faith, and even if it's not, it at least asks concise questions i can answer lol.

acknowledging how transmasc - and all tme trans people, yes, this can even include amab nonbinary people if they don't identify with the transfeminine label - have privilege over transfems isn't antithetical to having a United Trans Front at all. our goals can still be united while we also acknowledge and tackle transmisogyny in our midst - if anything, we CANNOT have a united trans front if we ignore transmisogyny and don't allow discussion of it!

an overwhelming amount of SOCIETAL transphobia is directed towards transfems too. while it's undeniable all trans people experience transphobia on some levels (i'm fucking trans), if you look at the way society as a whole is thinking of us, you'll see the true target is majority transfem people, and we're either an afterthought or we've somehow been groomed by those evil transfem people into this ideology or whatever.

all the bathroom bills in the US, all the drag storytime stuff (which also affects gnc men ofc, but the concern is 'people with penises being feminine is inherently grooming kids', which also lumps in transfems with them), an entire hate movement founded around hating "men who think they're women" is DIRECTED at transmisogyny affected people - the boogeywoman is a gal with a cock.

the woman who coined the term "transmisogyny" (julia serano) says in her book whipping girl:

"when the majority of jokes made at the expense of trans people center on 'men wearing dresses' or 'men who want their penises cut off' that is not transphobia – it is transmisogyny. When the majority of violence and sexual assaults committed against trans people is directed at trans women, that is not transphobia – it is transmisogyny."

sure, that pity that us afab trans people get from these same bigots is infuriating - we aren't confused, we aren't stupid, we haven't been groomed into this, we aren't mutilating ourselves, we aren't mentally ill, etc, etc - but it's undeniable that being treated like a tragic, confused Wombyn or a poor baby girl who just wants to escape misogyny is not nearly as severe as being treated like a rapist just for having a dick and wearing a skirt regardless of how old you are.

especially when that is on a societal level - it's inescapable, it's been baked into our society since day 1. you may not be aware of it, i can't even be aware of it, but just because we can't see our own transmisogyny cooked into our brains doesn't mean it doesn't exist. we as tme people are the least equipped to identify it -- this is why we need tma people to have their own language about it, so that they can point it out to us. if you can understand a similar but unrelated concept of the difference between the intricate details of racism V colorism, this is the idea of it.

you don't even need male privilege to be privileged over transfems. i'm a tme nonbinary intersex butch lesbian! i'm a woman (heavy quotes)! i don't have any kind of male privilege at all and i literally never will! but i still have privilege over every transfem, no matter how cis-passing and conforming they are, because every 'man in a dress' joke will never be about me. there's never going to be a world where that's about me, or you, or anyone else who doesn't experience transmisogyny - hence, we're transmisogyny exempt.

so yeah, even being trans doesn't mean you can escape being transmisogynist (no matter what way that trans is short of being tma yourself, no matter how cis passing or binary you are, no matter your gender identity), and holding this privilege over transfems - just like being any other minority or experiencing hate and violence doesn't just let you off the hook for being bigoted towards others. letting transfems make language to talk about and point out transmisogyny in our spaces is vital to allowing us to understand each other and uplift all of us equally.

otherwise we're just building a space that transfems would never be safe in - destroying that goal for your United Trans Front.👍

#transmisogyny #rape mention #<- sorry. just. gd.#please udnerstand that acknoweldging you have privilege doesnt negate any bigotry youve experiecned either.#white trans people face transphobia every day. btu theyre still capable of enacting racism on others #LGB cis people excprinece homophobia every day. but they can still be transphobic #it sucks extra hard to face bigotry frpm these groups in fact becasue youd think people who would understand it>#<would be fellow Oppressed Groups ykwim?

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alleycat4eva · 2 years

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So, just read up all the asks and responses so far, and I think I have a better understanding of where you're coming from. Tbh, I think it's pretty close to my own experience about 10 years ago when I first started learning more about gender theory and trans issues and tried to reconcile that with feminism and my lived experiences with sexism and misogyny. Thing is, they actually reconcile pretty easily once you take it a step further; sex and gender aren't really that cut and dry anyway, and it never has been. Like, full disclaimer, I'm a nonbinary dfab person, and since I feel no need to medically transition and I find binding uncomfortable, I am still perceived as a woman by society. A butch woman, sure, but unless someone already has the habit of not gendering someone by visual cues then people are going to think I'm female. I was raised female, and have the socialization that goes with it, to the point where even my father, who has only ever been gentle with me, terrifies me if he swears loudly in frustration. Because a man is angry and has raised his voice, and a part of my brain will always interpret that as dangerous. Socialization is a thing, although I believe still controversial even within the trans community. Anecdotally though, I've seen those socializations become learned behaviour after transitioning anyway, because once society perceives you as a given gender it will treat you that way. I think the most important thing to acknowledge here is that yes, the feminist struggle against sexism is still ongoing, and there are a lot of ways society hurts dfab people that it doesn't do to anyone else, but that doesn't need to be separate from recognizing and including trans woman as women, and dfab people who aren't women in the fight for reproductive rights. A trans woman's experience with womanhood and misogyny is still her experience as a woman, it might just differ from a cis woman's. Much in the same way a black woman will experience misogynoir, transmisogyny is still misogyny, it just intersects with another aspect of her identity in a specific way. (There is then, of course, transmisogynoir with its own set of interactions and oh boy why can't humans just accept variance without literally killing others over it already) Basically, "knowing that trans women are women, trans men are men, and nonbinary people are whatever combination or lack there of of the above that they say they are" can and does be something that exists in the same breath as "dfab people face specific persecutions and oppressions related to their biology". Those are facts that exist side by side without contradicting each other. Sorry if I'm waffling or unclear, it's currently 3am and I'm pretty sure some of these points are only half formed anyway (why do I always write on complex topics when I'm not at my best lmao). I'm just really glad to see you engaging with this conversation and researching more about it, and those two things already put you miles ahead of actual terfs. (also a terf would never have written Haku as trans so like. Nah you're just having A Time reconciling and questioning shit, and that's normal and I'm glad you're doing it.) I'm so sorry someone sent you anon hate over? I can't even see anything on your blog that might set someone off on you? either way it's horrific and never okay to do that to someone and that person should be ashamed. But yeah, you're right, this topic is complex and multifaceted but there needs to be space to talk about biology specific discrimination because that is definitely a thing that happens. Thing is, I don't think that conversation ever stopped happening? Tumblr likes to drink the kool aid a bit but it's certainly something actual IRL queer groups have never forgotten to give space to (that I'm aware of). It's just spoken in a way that doesn't alienate people it affects by misgendering them, and doesn't misgender people it doesn't affect. Language is amorphous and ever-changing anyway, why not be inclusive with it?

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xxlovelynovaxx · 2 months

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Screenshot:

I mean...

Yeah, that's still a fucking binary, when you treat transfemininity and transmasculinity as mutually exclusive, when you treat tma as "transfem only" when transmisogyny in fact affects some non-transfems (including AMAB nonbinary people who don't identify as trans women or transfems), and tme as "everyone else".

First of all, you're conflating two things, not just one. It's not "transfem or aren't", it's "experiences transmisogyny and is the 'right' identity for me to believe them" or " a privileged lying man/AFAB person who is just talking over women and wants to pretend to be more oppressed than thareey

And secondly, it's not "transfem or aren't", it's "transfem or [AFAB transmasc, AFAB nonbinary, or cis], intersex people are either AFABish or AMABish depending on their sex characteristics, and AMAB trans people are all transfem even if that's misgendering them, oh and transfemmasc people don't exist".

I can't even go into the fucking tag for one of the primary forms of oppression I fucking face because at least 80 percent of the posts are about some reductive bullshit dichotomy that flattens and erases the lived experiences of anyone who is not a passing stealth binary gender conforming trans person, and even then it's full of transmisogyny itself, like claims that T ruins you and makes you ugly and masculine forever and that feminizing HRT won't ever actually make you look like a woman! That's ter/f shit, and it's coming from other fucking transfems!

Is the word "dichotomy" better than binary? /s

(Okay, 80 percent of posts aren't about that. A good third are wildly transandromisic or exorsexist and another at least quarter are extremely intersexist, not to mention a bunch of racist, fatmisic, and other generally bigoted posts. The ones that call stuff "the [bigotry] community" or "[bigotry] guys" or "[bigotry] truthers" are especially ghoulish. Yes, I made those statements general on purpose. I have a feeling y'all would go "the sanism" community" or "aphobia guys" or "antisemitism truthers" (especially given that if you're using "truthers", you're already wildly antisemitic) given half a chance, but maybe it'll get through to a few people. I'll be honest though, I hesitated on the comparison out of genuine worry that I'd give people ideas.)

Setting aside that people other than transfems actually experience transmisogyny though, is it really ALL transfems and NO nontransfems? Again, what about AMAB and intersex non-transfems who experience transmisogyny? What about AFAB and intersex transfems? What about transfemmascs?

Adding the actual binary in question back in, what about stealth transfems who feel they are functionally TME (not a theoretical - I've met several transfems who have expressed this while discussing transmisogyny). What about transfems who are TMA, but happen to believe in transandromisia as a concept and feel more personally affected by it - especially transfems who experience antimasculinity due to being butch or not performing cisfemininity? What about trans people who are mtftm and ftmtf not as detransition, but because of genderfluidity? What about trans people who are mtx, ftx, xtx, xtm, xtf, and so on? I cannot express this enough, what about intersex trans people, since y'all love erasing and tokenizing us.

Ex. Haust. Ing.

If you wanna argue with me don't waste both our time, just block me and rant on your own blog about how I'm a "definitely tme transmisogynistic loser" despite me, y'know, experiencing transmisogyny daily. Because I know it's not actually about whether or not I experience transmisogyny. I've seen y'all call perisex AMAB binary trans women "TME" because they disagree with you (and honestly, seen some of y'all do far worse to trans women who speak out against your bullshit). It's about shutting up and shutting down anyone who you disagree with.

And if you think you have the one argument that'll "get through to me", I've seen them all. I've even engaged with more nuanced ones that advocate for, for example, use of TMA without TME as a self-label based on actual experiences and not ontological identity.

I've thoughtfully analyzed ones that compassionately look at the language void these imperfect, often inaccurate terms fill and how their purpose could be more accurately and compassionately filled with minimal changes (such as "tme" being changed to "transmisogyny-unaffected" to acknowledge it's not a permanent state).

I've found myself having more in common with some people who argue for their continued usage as long as the nuance of people's lived experience is prioritized and it's acknowledged that there are more factors to the labels than just identity, than I have with some people who argue they should be abolished entirely, despite mostly being in the latter group myself!

So just. Like I said, don't waste both our time. I'm dealing with more than enough bullshit from actual oppression IRL to deal with people who think they know an internet stranger's material experiences better than the person experiencing them.

#transmisogyny

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ventbloglite · 6 months

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Some people claim to want to see more gnc people but they don't mean it. What they mean is that they want to see people who still look like women, but they only wear trousers and a small amount of makeup and have short (but not too short hair). What they mean is they want to see drag queens, people they understand to be still men and only dressing up for fun.

The moment an average person starts to be gnc in a way that isn't palatable, so many attitudes change. An intersex woman who has grown out her natural beard (people really seem to hate beards + feminine things). A masculine man who just happens to only wear skirts and dresses. A young trans boy who still loves make up but isn't a twink. A trans woman who is butch. All of these people are somehow 'only attention seeking' and 'not really gnc' and 'appropriating the trans experience (in some assumed cis cases)'.

And they say 'you will just go back to dressing like normal/will shave when you realise it's not all fun attention on social media'. Which is just sick. If somebody has to hide their true self because of the abuse they're receiving from others, that's not a good thing and doesn't indicate that they were 'faking it for clout'. Nobody should have to suffer and put themselves in danger so people will understand that they really truly want to look this way.

Where do they even get the audacity to assume that someone isn't dressing gnc purely because they like it? That it's bad even, to use your lifestyle to gain attention online? That wanting to show off your looks or your style means you 'aren't really into it'? Yes people lie on the internet. But you cannot see somebody who has started to explore gender non-conformity and assume because they weren't doing it since the start of their account or whatever, they're 'faking it'. As if there couldn't be many reasons they weren't always expressing themselves in this way up and to and including not realising that doing so would make them much happier and truer to themselves. Where do they get off gatekeeping a way of looking?

As for 'if you're cis, you're appropriating the trans experience' you have to be mad. The acceptance and prevelance of gender non-conformity would only help trans people as a whole.

Basically, if you only support cute white thin mildly gnc people you don't support gnc people and have no rights to be accusing anyone of anything. Even if a person only experiments with being gnc for a while there's nothing wrong with that. If you want to see more gnc people, because you want it to be normalised to wear whatever, you simply cannot be accusing people of 'only doing it for clout'.

#gnc #gender nonconforming

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autismserenity · 2 years

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i am officially over all the awkward phrases that attempt to include anyone who is marginalized on the basis of gender

For instance: Mills College, Spelman College, St Elizabeth's University, Scripps, Agnes Scott, Wellesley, etc, aren't "Historically Women's Colleges."

Mills didn't "start admitting trans women" in 2013. It started officially stating that it would admit trans women regardless of what their legal docs said. It was admitting trans women at least as far back as 1980.

It didn't "start admitting nonbinary students" (or what our absolute trash corrupt president inexplicably calls "gender-nonbinary people") in 2013. It admitted me in 1996. I came out in the student newspaper in 1997. I started a club, and found out there were a lot of other genderqueers already there. And we certainly weren't the first ones.

So here is my offering to you:

[a graphic stating that "gender-marginalized people are GEMS," in which the G E from gender, and M from marginalized, are capitalized to illustrate the meaning of the term]

It's a women's college. It's exactly what women's colleges have ALWAYS been.

It's a nonbinary college. It's certainly closer to being an enby college than any other kind of school is likely to be. It's flat-out common to be nonbinary here.

It's a trans college. It has had out transfem professors for 30 years. It has admitted trans men for at least that long. (Unintentionally. But that's true of almost all of this.)

But we need a word for this stuff.

Because when I see things like women's improv festivals using "Fem" instead, to be "inclusive" of enbies... or "womxn," which comes off as "women, and those of you who we think are close enough"... or all the times that orgs say "women and enbies," but in practice, are welcoming to transmascs and not to transfems.... or just how hard it is for people to do outreach because they can't quickly state who an org is for... it makes me just a little stress-barfy.

Gems, like everything else about gender, is an umbrella term. It includes intersex people of all genders, trans people of all genders, gender-nonconforming people who don't identify as trans or intersex, and cis women.

In other words, all the people originally included under the trans+ umbrella, and cis women.

anyone who doesn't like that definition can lump it. anyone who is confused by that definition can start by reading les feinberg's assorted trans nonfiction books.

Examples: "Oh! I guess I don't really know many cis men. I went to a gems' college."

"I don't know, should we open this group to all gems? I feel like we need to clarify who's welcome here, and do more outreach."

"You know that you won't necessarily read all gems as women, right? Wait -- you know that the way you read someone doesn't tell you what their gender is, right?!"

Is it a little on the glittery-femmey side of things? Yes, and I'm sorry.

On the other hand, butches of all genders, how many times have you been described as "a diamond in the rough?"

This term owes a debt to "MaGes," for MArginalized GEnderS, which I saw suggested many years ago but which never caught on. I can't find the post anymore, but I suspect it was proposed by someone at the Black Feminist Project, because people/orgs within its sphere seem to be the only ones using the term.

As the House of Liberosis explains, "Gender marginalization includes but not limited to misogyny, transphobia, intersex-phobia, transmisogny, misogynoir, transmisogynoir, or any combination thereof. The only gender not marginalized (for that factor itself) is [non-intersex] cisgender men."

If you want to define it as "trans people plus cis women," you can apply for a special Disclaimer License that explains what it really means. Or link back to this post.

also, if you were thinking "shit how the fuck do i go to a school like that" P L E E E A S E sign this petition telling Congress to investigate the shady deal that gives Mills and all its assets to Northeastern University. this is so clearly a cover-up for embezzlement and i Cannot

#emetophobia tw #queer linguistics #gender etymology #etymology of gems #no this isn't because my pronouns are gem gems gemself i SWEAR #it just happened to work out that way #honestly if i could have thought of a better alternative i would have gone with that #i just don't think that we can get away with statements like 'this is a colleges for mages' especially in the post-Rowling era #wall of words

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