#and work for a while and get some stability etc etc and then continue. like. i might fucking do that. who knows.

[stellarsagittarius]

✨️🪐 7H in your Birth Chart: How you will meet your Future Spouse / Soulmate 🪐✨️

[Exchange readings open! Me (Astrology) x You (Tarot)] You can message me with your offer 🫶🏼.] CLOSED

7H ruler in 1H

You will most likely meet your soulmate through a place where you are the center of attention, but this doesn't have to be something grand. Just them coming across your social media profile is a great example. You might be fairly closed off in the beginning to them, almost inaccessible. These are more informal places, where it concerns nobody but you. This is a place where you play an important role with either your looks or your thoughts. "You," are the focus.

7H ruler in 2H

You can meet them when you are shopping. Like this is THE example that came to my mind. Places could be banks, malls, stores, even restaurants. This meeting is more steady, like there is no rush, and there is a certain stability to how the meeting proceeds. Go to your favorite restaurants and coffee shops often, you can really bump into them over there. This is also a place where you get some sort of work done on your body, so consider salons, parlours, tattoo shops, etc.

7H ruler in 3H

You are supposed to be meeting them in a locality or neighborhood you visit often. This may even be your hometown. Meeting through siblings or very close cousins is a thing as well. This relationship can start off on social media as well, more on the side of common interests and communication. This can be that one thing where your person has been hidden in plain sight all along.

7H ruler in 4H

This meeting has high chances of happening through either of your parents or close family members. This is more of a traditional placement and in a sense, more slow and gradually building up. This person really is coming at your doorstep, but only when you know you aren't "closing yourself off." Their is a bit of being emotionally guarded in the initial phases of your relationship. You may quite literally meet them at your home, like a delivery person or someone from service like replace AC or fix wires.

7H ruler in 5H

You are meeting them when you are having a fun time. Partying and clubbing is one thing, and if you are into that then there is a chance this relationship can start off as a one night thingy. Otherwise consider picnics, hikes or even just going on a date by yourself. This is an activity you really enjoy and are doing it for the sake of simply doing it. There is no responsibilities or things you have to comform to. You may also meet them through a kid or around some sort of kindergarten/nursery/daycare.

7H ruler in 6H

Oh this one is like that one character which hasn't been unlocked yet, but are around you all the time. They are a part of your routined life, and you can meet them while running errands, at the gym or while on the commute. This is the hidden in plain sight type of person. Continue with your daily life, go on that walk, go to the gym, grab the lunch and they are somewhere around. The first meeting is going to be quite steady, and everything will gradually develop from there.

7H ruler in 7H

This meeting is going to very special, in a way that you won't feel like someone else has a hand here. You will feel like it's just you and your person, whatever the situation. This could start as a partnership of some sort or a friendship. You will meet them more from their efforts, they will make the first contact. There is no hidden meaning or other intentions behind them approaching you. It's very direct, mainly because they want to get to know you. You can meet them anywhere, honestly, with this placement, but it will be more one-on-one. Like believe me, you won't have any other work besides them when you meet them. It's a great thing to have the ruler of your 7H in 7H, so this explaination definitely deserved a longer explanation. You are one of those people who are actually going to be in a strong soulmate connection that will be very prominent in your life. This is magical, even I don't know how to explain this. Look for any placements in your 7H, that will tell you specific qualities about your Soulmate, and perhpas give you specific insights on the meeting!

7H ruler in 8H

You will meet them through other people or through things having to do with other people. It's like a series of events that other people have you involved in, and then you bump into them. Like your friend asked you to accompany them to a party, and then they are like, "Hey, meet this person. They are very cool!" And that person they introduced you to turns out to be your soulmate. You may meet them though after some sort of hardship or change in your life, like a transformative one.

7H ruler in 9H

You can meet them through travel or on social media. Let's just say it, there is a physical distance between you both initially, and they may even be from another culture/country. The 9H always has a foreign connection, always! You may meet them on vacation or while on a work trip. There is also going to be a very interesting few exchanges, like they are from a different place and so you are, and you will have that natural curiosity to understand each other.

7H ruler in 10H

You will meet them through work or some sort of work network. The initial meeting could be very formal and you may have this tendency to think of your "image" in front of them, like wanting to make a good impression, etc. This is not necessarily a co-worker, that's more of a 6th house thing. They are someone new you happen to connect with because of work, like someone a rank lower or high than you, or some new business partner. Common work is something connecting both of you.

7H ruler in 11H

You can meet them through mutual friends, communities or networks. This is a more relaxed scenario, like I know a lot of people aren't just out there social, but think of it as going to a college party with some of your friends and that's where you find your person. It is not "through" someone, instead you will initiate that conversation yourself because you genuinely find them interesting, and then perhaps you get to know that you have shared acquaintances. It's a social place, somewhere you are out of your shell and making other connections.

7H ruler in 12H

You can meet them through some sort of solo activity. Like it is solitude. So maybe you are in a new country and don't know anyone just yet. Some places are hospitals, retreats, meditation centers, certain places of worship, or even certain abandoned places. It is a very calming meeting, like there will be a lot of peace in this. You may even happen to dream of them before you meet. There could be a bit of mystery to the first few meetings. This is a supposed to be a connection that will help you release a lot of karma.

Check out more Astrology content on my page 🎀🫶🏼.

#astrology #natal chart reading #astrology readings #astrology husband #future spouse #astrology chart readings #natal chart

[sp1ty0urh34rt0ut]

✩ what are their favorite things about you? ✩

꒰ pile one ꒱ ꒰ pile two ꒱

꒰ pile three ꒱ ꒰ pile four ꒱

one of their favorite things about you is how committed you are to your traditions. you have strong beliefs that you don’t plain on changing and you’re very stable when it comes to your morals and expectations from others. another one of their favorite things is your ability to multitask and take on many responsibilities at once. you may be working two jobs, going to school while also working, or taking care of someone at home & they admire how mature and responsible you are. their favorite thing is that you’re continuing to work for your dreams despite anything that may “hold you back.” your love and care for others, as well as yourself, is another one of their favorite things about you. you seem to have endless amounts of love and you’re more than happy to share that love with those are able to receive it. this can mean that you’re very generous with your money and belongings; you wouldn’t mind giving away a shirt you liked to someone who seemed to love it.

their favorite thing about you is how secret you are with your stability and your income. you don’t like to speak too much about how much money you make, how make it or even where you work at. your job in itself may be something you keep secret on purpose; maybe you’re an exotic dancer and/or a sex worker so you don’t really talk about it too much for safety reasons. another one of their favorite things about you is how cooperative you are during arguments & disagreements. you’re not someone who yells just to yell, and you’re not one to escalate the situation. you’re good at keeping your cool in tense situations and you respond gracefully in these situations - and yet, you’re still able to state your truth and come across as someone who knows what they’re talking about. you’re good at getting your point across without having to get disrespectful. you also stand up for your loved ones when needed, which is another one of their favorite things about you. you seem to be a very peaceful, intelligent and private person which they love because it shows your maturity and wisdom.

their favorite thing about you is your work ethic and how you’re able to progress in secret. you use your intuition for your benefit and you make the best moves because of it. you know when to work towards something, when to relax, when to take a break, when to return etc. another one of their favorite things is your ability to walk away, even in situations where you poured a lot of your love and energy. you could fall in love with someone, but you’ll walk away and leave it all behind if you really need to, and you won’t look back. you may be someone who works in the night time, or you just become really creative and expressive once the sun goes down, which is another one of their favorite things because it kinda makes you mysterious to them, for some reason. they wonder what you do that keeps you up all night (if they don’t know you well.) another one of their favorite things about you is how guarded you are when it comes to your passion - you’re not someone to easily express your love and passion for things. when it comes to love, you love hard, so you’re extremely guarded when it comes to your heart. just because you’re able to walk away from someone you love doesn’t mean this is something you want.

their favorite thing about you is how you go after your passion despite all the stress and anxiety you have simply by just thinking about it. you do have a lot of fears and worries, but you gather the strength and courage to push through tough situations. you always look forward to the future and you’re not afraid of starting over or starting something completely new. another one of their favorite things about you is your hair - it really draws them in and accentuates your features in the best way possible. they also really love your athleticism and how you’re always active. if you’re not athletic, then they just genuinely love your physical body and how you’re shaped. another thing they favor about you is your jewelry, specifically your necklace(s). they also really like your talents and skills - you may be really good at something that is unusual, like juggling. another one of their favorite things is your creative abilities and how imaginative you are. you may have very interesting dreams and they love listening to what you dream about.

#tarot #pick a card #MDNI #✩

[buboplague]

hello. i'm an art nerd and as such do art nerd things like study art. you are one of my favorite artists for your smooth and organic lines. is your style of line work something you've developed unintentionally over time or is it a matter of intention and technique? ive noticed you're able to do a lot with very little, which is something i strive for in my own art. happy late easter if you celebrated btw

oh this is an interesting question! I've never really stopped to think about this before.

I think it's a bit of both, but mostly unintentional and developed over time as a characteristic of the way I prefer to draw.

I draw quickly, erase minimally, like continuous lines, and enjoy the actual physical feeling of drawing messy, and I think that's helped me be more confident in my lines in general and contributes to how it looks. Being precise and accurate is usually not my goal, so it's ok if something is off (please never flip my sketches haha). I like the way drawing like this feels.

But there are also a lot of styles I love that use fluid lines, like ukiyoe art and artists inspired by those same styles, or others' quick gestural drawings. Seeing those inspire me to stay loose, or not care about accuracy, simplify things, etc, and folding these concepts it into my work is intentional, because it loops back into enjoying the way it's done. I don't really have much advice or technique for how to achieve this deliberately because I guess I'm not really sure myself LOL but based on how I approach things myself, these are tips to try (which it looks like you're doing some already!):

draw with pen on paper. If you mess up just go with it, or try again from the beginning. Don't get hung up on erasing and fixing things, just keep drawing

practice speed, with timed gesture drawing or other methods of practice you're comfortable with; try it without picking up the pen

turning stabilization off while drawing digitally for a more natural line (entirely subjective, but stabilization trips me up so bad and feels weird)

draw from life. It can be random objects around the house, or random photos, but draw things you normally wouldn't - train your hand to follow your eye, as this will help you see the way you use line, and is an easy way to practice what kinds of lines you want without getting hung up on idea generation, or if the character looks right, expectations, etc.

It's okay to be impatient and lazy sometimes LOL. Sometimes doing the bare minimum helps you to learn where you want to simplify or stylize things. "Good enough" is also a pretty useful catchphrase sometimes

I hope something in this post helps! And sorry if it doesn't, I'm not very good at articulating my own art or thought processes.

Thank you for your kind words and for enjoying my work. happy late easter!

#asks #@ferninapot #text #faq #long

[ystrike1]

Hwang Young's Misery - By Yeaze (9/10)

Yandere for profit. An author that writes miserable stories about psychotic love, just to get clicks. He meets an obsessed fan. One that wants to role play every part of his most popular story from beginning to end, even though it's not finished yet. What ending will satisfy the monster? Hopefully, not the original one he had in mind. He has to change the plot, in order to survive.

"Sheldon" is a lonely but successful webtoon author who sacrificed everything to get to the top. He has never written a happy story. He believes endless drama is what thrills viewers that are trapped in their normal, everyday lives. He gets rejected countless times. When his first webtoon gets approved he doesn't expect it to be a success, but it is.

Hwangyoung's Phantoms. It's a long-form yandere thriller about an author with a weak mind. Poor Hwangyoung. He relies on his doting lover for affection and stability and money. Dohyuk is the ideal partner for a lonely author. He is patient and kind and he manages Hwangyoungs schedule and he takes advantage of Hwangyoungs poor memory to sneak into his life. Dohyuk originally wasn't dating Hwangyoung. He lied about that while Hwangyoung's metal health was very low. Hwangyoung doesn't even remember his own name. He should be in a mental hospital, not a relationship, and his loving partner is downright dangerous. Hwangyoungs mental state will continue to decline if he doesn’t get help, but Dohyuk doesn't seem to care as long as Hwangyoung relies on him.

It's a layered thriller.

"Sheldon" isn't in a relationship. He's in an awkward hook up situation with someone, but it's not going anywhere. He's very lonely. He's drunk when he meets Dohyuk. Dohyuk is his biggest fan...and he looks exactly like fictional "Dohyuk". He even has features that aren't common in Korean men, like super deep dimples etc. Hwangyoung falls for the compliments. Dohyuk's smile is so familiar, and he is crazy handsome.

They flirt.

"Dohyuk" is not his real name. He brings "Sheldon" home. When Sheldon is dead asleep he uses a hammer to fracture his leg. I'm telling you right now the depiction of this injury is extremely realistic. Due to a combination of pills and alcohol "Sheldon" doesn't figure out what happened for a while. He is in panic mode for a few chapters, unable to move or negotiate in an unfamiliar house.

He is not a super genius.

He is an author.

"Dohyuk" almost murders him several times when he tries to escape. He gives up, and Stockholm Syndrome comes in...kinda. He thinks he's using "Dohyuk", but it's clear that the kidnapper always has the upper hand.

"Sheldon" doesn't have very many close relationships. His life has been his webtoon for several years now. The third season is about to begin. Nobody finds him for three months. "Sheldon" isn't an awful person or anything, but when his friends don't get an answer they just assume he's working.

"Dohyuk" uses this to make "Sheldon" even more lonely.

Also he calls "Sheldon" "Hwangyoung".

"Sheldon" based his yandere story around people in his life. The main character is based on him and his loneliness. "Dohyuk" picked up on this, and now the author must literally play that role.

The role makes him break down constantly. "Dohyuk" is not a perfect captor, but he is well prepared. It takes months for that wounded leg to heal as well. When he is healed his spirit is broken. He continues to write his webtoon, but he lives in fear of "Dohyuk". His kidnapper is his biggest fan, and his opinion is the only opinion that matters.

He knows, deep down, that he will lose his leg again if "Dohyuk" doesn't like the new chapter.

Or the ending.

His mind is not in the best condition for several reasons. "Sheldon" is a fully grown man, and "Dohyuk" isn't magic. The kidnapper uses underhanded methods to keep his favorite creator weak. "Sheldon" downs a cocktail of pills every morning. He manages to spit out some, but his mind is muddled by illegal substances. He can write, but he spends most of his day in bed. He has constant headaches, and consistent stomach pain throughout the story.

"Dohyuk" only cares if he has the ability to write.

Nothing else matters.

He thinks his true love will be fulfilled after the story is written. Then he will act out the love scenes with the real "Hwangyoung".

"Sheldon" has been in denial for quite some time. It's clear that his friends are worried for him. He isolates himself. He only writes disturbingly sad stories. He has trouble with romance, and creating relationships in general. He's got depression, and he hasn't admitted that to himself yet. He has been interviewed before, and the press was shocked to hear that his thriller BL is based around people he knows. He is scared of committing to his casual lover. So he wrote about that lover pining for Hwangyoung while he is kidnapped by Dohyuk. This happens in real life as well. Wo-ilk returns pained to see "Sheldon" with a handsome new lover.

"Sheldon" has never been normal. He just doesn't know it yet.

He is extremely hard on himself. He makes fun of himself for "acting like a wimp" even though being kidnapped was not his fault. His thoughts turn to self hatred pretty quickly, and this causes him to fall prey to Stockholm in just a few months.

I thought it was strange.

From the very beginning he believes no one will look for him. He doesn't have a shred of hope. He thinks he can save himself for a bit, but then he gets lonely...and he just can't function.

It's a somewhat normal reaction, but it happens too fast.

He has no faith in his relationships.

He writes season three, but he doesn't try to ask his editors for help. It is too dangerous. "Dohyuk" is watching through spyware, but he seems to believe his coworkers don't care either.

He gets better at manipulating "Dohyuk", but it's...not enough? He is fooling himself. "Dohyuk" is incredibly happy. "Sheldon" plays the role of "Hwangyoung" every time he leaves his room. Heck, it even escalates to him acting as soon as he wakes up in the morning. He is losing. His "victories" are just "Dohyuk not killing him", "Dohyuk letting him walk around the house" etc.

He's so caught up in the story.

He can't see the light anymore.

I assume his actual sort-of lover tries to break in, because I can't imagine him escaping on his own at this point.

#yandere #male yandere #yandere male #yandere boy #recommendations #recs #rec #recommended #webtoon #Hwang Young's Misery #yaoi manhwa #yaoi

[krenenbaker]

Rook Ballet Headcanons!

Now that we know Rook has CANONICALLY started taking ballet lessons, these are some thoughts I have as to some of his possible preferences with it! While I know that he's still learning the basics, if he were to continue further, he would probably get quite good!

He already has some of the necessary core and upper-body strength for ballet, and I'm sure that the cardio aspect wouldn't be a huge challenge for him, either. However, he stated in his Platinum Jacket vignette that he has struggled some with balance and ankle stability, so for the most part, he would be primarily working to strengthen his leg muscles - specifically those of the hip, thigh, and ankle - and increasing overall flexibility. With that work, in combination with the poise and grace he already has in his movements, he could become a fantastic danseur!

Now, for his preferences...

To begin, his uniform: I see Rook as likely preferring tights rather than shorts, and a leotard rather than a shirt. He'd also likely choose a cap or short sleeve over a tank, at least for the most part. and he seems as if he'd be quite drawn to a zip-front (or high-neck) leotard.

He'd also prefer grey canvas ballet slippers, grey tights, and a white leotard, though there's a chance he'd wear black slippers and tights instead.

For reference, Rook's preferred dancewear would be somewhat like this:

or perhaps this:

He'd also need to tie his hair back, of course, as he does for P.E., Beanfest, etc. (It would be wise for him to pin back the loose strands, too... though chances are, he wouldn't do that, except for recitals.)

Now, for the steps, I've added in some video examples, in case you aren't familiar with ballet terminology.

I'll begin with what Rook may struggle with, at least at first. Based on his main problem areas (ankle stability and balance), any sort of step which involves being en relevé ("on rise" on ones' toes) would be somewhat difficult, as well as some centre work. Grand pliés and développés in the centre would likely be hard for him when he first begins, until he has toned the proper muscles. And for a similar reason, he may struggle with turns, especially fouettés, pirouettes, and chaînés. Rook may dislike chaînés especially, as even with proper spotting technique, they can be quite disorienting.

However, he'd LOVE things like cabrioles, Italian pas de chat (in this video, alternating with glissés), saut de Basque, jeté en tournant, tour jeté, and similar steps. They each have a certain... sensation about them; when performed, these steps give a feeling of almost soaring through the air. He'd find them to be beautiful, and powerful to both perform and watch.

Rook would also adore the fluidity of pas de valse / balancé, and have a lot of fun with exercises which feature them!

he'd also love dancing any sort of pas de deux, even if he didn't have much chance to do it. being able to feel the interplay and balance between him and his partner, and build that sense of trust would be fantastically beautiful to him, possibly even more than watching a pas de deux.

There are likely a number of other steps and various variations (perhaps the Coppélia Act I Franz variation, for example?) which Rook would find to be enjoyable during his time taking ballet. And - should he continue with dance - Rook may just find another form of art he falls in love with!

#twst #twisted wonderland #rook hunt #twst rook #rook platinum jacket #holy crow... my ballet background was REAWAKENED by that vignette #and did I heavily insert my own preferences into this post? #...no #(yes) #although I do honestly think that these would be the steps that Rook would struggle with and the steps he'd enjoy #also... that Coppélia variation is maybe my favourite one - it has most of my favourite steps; plus it's from a fantastic ballet #mon beau chasseur ♡ #non... mon beau danseur ♡ #je t'adore ♡ #je t'aime ♡ #krenenbaker's :) #scheduling this to post in the morning because I finished writing this rather late :)

[writingwithcolor]

Happy New Year from WWC, Updates, aka we’re alive! (12/31/22)

Hi lovely followers,

First of all, thanks so much for your patience and all your continued support for WritingWithColor. 2022 has been heavily, heartily, devoted to tending to our personal lives, from pressing demands at work, school, mental health, family matters, and so on. All the while, trying to dig through the long backlog of Q's.

2023 should show us some more devotion to WWC. We'll answer more questions, invite fresh mods in the team to balance the load, and last (but not least) get the new Writingwithcolor.org up and running! Your kind donations have gone towards the new blog in progress and will continue to support it. Once that’s all established and stabilized, we’ll look into meeting our other fun goals, such as:

Diverse writing advice e-publications.

Follower giveaways and bonus content.

Charity and community causes.

See support the mods page to donate or learn more

We have made some major strides behind the scenes, though. 

Progress made in 2022

Here's some progress made so far.

1. Writingwithcolor.org, as mentioned, is a thing! Its also been around for a while. It won't forever lead to tumblr, but to our new site, when it's complete. But as long as Tumblr is around and working for us, we'll keep some sort of link between them, so no need for you to fully switch to a new platform to see our content. (Note: you can use that URL to share WWC on other social media. Facebook has blocked all Tumblr URLs, as is.)

2. Major clean-up in the tags, improvements to search. You'll notice both consolidation and separation of some tags. For example, you can search the tags for "Black stereotypes" or even "Black women stereotypes" whereas before they were separated out, which created a less concise search. 

Updated tags and improvements:

X + stereotypes (e.g. Jewish stereotypes, Jewish women stereotypes, etc.)

X + tropes (e.g. Black tropes, Black men tropes, etc.)

X + names (e.g. Indian names, Korean names, etc.)

Colonialism, was colonization

Exotification, was exotic

Fetishization, was fetish

Othering, was other

Microaggressions, was micro-aggressions (the "-” breaks search)

lgbtqia, was lgbtqa+ and lgbtqia+ (the “+” breaks search)

interracial + romance, friendship, relationships, marriage, adoption (it used to all be nestled under "interracial”)

Many more, with some changes ongoing. Check the navigation

What to expect in 2023

     1. Blog askbox re-opening. We haven't determined a exact date yet, but it will be early 2023. | Early 2023

     2. New askbox. Along with re-opening the askbox, we will have a new means for you to submit your questions. | Early 2023

     Our new askbox will:

Streamline the process by organizing the Q's for us (Previously, they’ve been manually screened and organized by Colette with the help of others...oo wee) 

Allow us to respond to questions faster.

Help guide askers through the process to better ensure ask is meeting guidelines, making it more likely to be answered.

     3. New blog launch! Individually hosted and paid for by donation funds from you all! | Spring 2023

     4. Continued blog improvement and cleanup (i.e. tag improvement, outdated post updating or deletion, fixed broken links) | Ongoing, 2023

Again, thanks so much for your support and just enjoying the blog. If you’d like to reply to this post to boost your favorite inclusive books or media of 2022, feel free.

See ya in 2023!

Sincerely,

~Mod Colette and the WWC Team

#wwc #writingwithcolor #wwc updates #books #authors

[mundaneandmagicalcreature]

The Newsreader & gender expectations. Part II: Dale Jennings and being a newsreader

I feel like there's a line connecting Dale's mum with his career ambitions and with how he feels about his sexuality.

Dale's not that young. So, why hasn't reflected more about his sexuality and his relationships? Why is he still trying to erase parts of himself (darling, it won't work)? Why does he assume that everyone wants to get married?

"It's 1987, there was not really the language for him to discover that (and he's working in such a rigid environment), to even really understand what bisexuality is or what pansexuality is or maybe demisexual (sic)." Sam Reid. ABC Radio National

Both Sam and Michael have talked about Dale lacking the language about his sexuality. While it's true that that he may not have come across the word "bisexual" (although the famous Bowie interview is from 1979), I feel like more than a label he needs a narrative. It's pretty common for queer people, when we're discovering our sexuality to look for people like us: historical figures, fictional characters, people in our own life, etc. Just some one to show us how to live.

Gerry also doesn't have a label, and yet he seems much more happy and comfortable in his sexuality. His life history could be that narrative Dale needs: fall in love with a woman, marry, have a child, have a successful career AND have sex with men on the side. But Dale is set on monogamy. Which is absolutely fine, but he can't imagine himself as attracted to both men and women, and monogamous, AND happy.

My theory is that he's never had the time to think about this things because he was an emotionally parentified child. We know that Dale's father died when he was only 15. He had to take responsibility for his mum happiness. And he's holding that responsibility ever since.

This is more fanfiction than analysis territory, but I can imagine a recently widowed Val glued to the TV, watching news. And I can imagine a very young Dale thinking "Now that my dad's dead I have to be a proper man, the kind of man my mum values. And that man is a newsreader."

"I suppose Dale has always sort of believe that the pinnacle of... everything that represents stability and assuredness and the kind of like archetype of what it is to be a man and what it is to be a voice of authority is represented in this newsreader kind of form." Sam Reid. The Newsreader Podcast. 06 | Fireworks with Sam Reid and Michael Lucas

I know that sexuality is not correlated to gender, but these things intersect and the ideal man for society (specially in this moment in time) is a straight man (who gets married to a woman, has children, provides for them financially, etc). Queer men are seeing as feminine and therefore faulty. Dale's running away from being perceived that way.

What I would call "a partner" and Adam calls "a lover", Val calls "a friend". The euphemism makes it pretty clear that she's not comfortable with queerness. Dale wants to make her happy, so he has to be a straight man.

Even after more than a year of Helen and Dale being together, Val says she wasn't sure Dale was going to propose/marry her. Maybe she thought they were going to break up, or that they would continue to "live in sin" (lets note the religious expression for a moment...) for ever. But what I hear (and judging by Dale's awkward reaction, he may be thinking the same) is "up until this moment I was afraid you were actually gay".

By the end of the season, Dale and Helen have broken up. He buys his own house and while he's showing it to his mum, they have that little dialogue. "It's not a family home", once again that idea of nuclear family shows up. For the first time he's going against her wishes. Does this mean he's happy? Sam doesn't think so and neither do I. I think he just switched his mum's expectations for those of the society in general. And society expect for people who work on TV to have big fancy houses, so that's what he bought.

________

(part I)

feel free to comment in whatever form you like, I'm nosy and I like to read what other people think.

#the newsreader #sam reid #maude davey #dale jennings #val jennings #gender #the newsreader season 2 #the newsreader spoilers

[redstringraven]

an excruciatingly long ramble about the '03 turtles and the enneagram 🐢 pt1

i’ve been working on this ‘project’ on/off for a year, and i need to get it out of my system. this is me posting the first part to force myself to stop fidgeting and hit the ground running.

i love the enneagram. i think it’s a useful tool not only for self-growth but also for character-writing and understanding. since 'typing' the boys, i've referred back to this tool while writing them or rewatching the series, and it's infuriating how much sense certain things start to make. to me, anyway!

as a heads up? this is going to be a big analysis over a series of posts. i have a lot to say fldjsfkl (i'm so sorry). i will try to keep it organized and understandable.

consider this the introductory post! posts will be linked below as i finish them. [ raph ], [ leo ], [ don ], [ mikey ]

some small disclaimers before we get started:

this is concerning the 2k3 incarnations of the boys only, and seasons 1-4 are given the most weight. 

i don’t take “”birth order”” into consideration. no one--not even them--knows the order they were born/hatched in. i won’t be referring to leo as ‘the oldest child’ nor mikey as ‘the youngest’, etc. when it comes to ‘filling a role’, sure, they do that just fine, but i tend to avoid referring to them in an actual birth order or approaching them from a birth order mindset. they step into roles rather than there being an established order. the 03 boys will frequently ‘switch roles’ depending on their circumstances and company.

these are also, obviously, my own thoughts/observations, and i’m not any sort of professional. I’ve just done reading and research and thinking. whether you agree or not is up to you, i’m not your mom, go--do whatever you want, it’s fine it’s good, i don’t care, blah blah blah, etc.

OKAY. an introduction and briefing:

we’ll start with some ground-work since the enneagram seems to be unfamiliar territory to a lot of folks i’ve spoken to. feel free to skip over the next two paragraphs if you’re already in the know. i’m not going to spend too long on it, but i feel like i need to spend some time or everything else that follows might get muddy.

while there were a few books i read in preparation for this, it was careless and neglectful of me not to mention the two i referenced and heavily pulled from in the more enneagram-focused sections of this project (the parts where the enneagram itself is explained rather than how it applies to the turtles) to aid in creating a baseline. i went into this excited to analyze and discuss the turtles specifically, but i should have treated both the sources and my own posting with more respect. i apologize for that massive oversight. i feel pretty damn stupid since i usually consider myself good at that sort of thing, but i'll continue trying to do better! the two books i referred from were:

the wisdom of the enneagram by don richard riso & russ hudson

the road back to you by ian morgan cron & suzanne stabile

and i recommend them if you have any interest in exploring the enneagram further!

the enneagram is a tool used to develop self-knowledge, self-understanding, and to grow beyond self-defeating aspects of our personalities, as well as improve the relationships with those around us and to grow in compassion.

one of my books uses colors to illustrate how the nine enneagram types work: there are an infinite number of variations of the color ‘red’, but they are all still variations of the same hue. similarly, there are an infinite number of ways a person may express their enneagram type. another thing to keep in mind: your number is not determined by how you behave, moreso why you behave. It’s less reliant on traits and focuses more on the motivation that drives you.

i also feel it’d be a breach in etiquette if i didn't say the enneagram should be used to type yourself, not others. these are fictional characters; please don’t go trying to type the people around you. don’t use it to justify your own questionable behavior, and please don't feel the need to adopt a more rigid personality if you see yourself in a type. again: this is a tool, not a rule book.

if you want my opinions immediately, and without further exploration or analysis, here they are:

Raph is an 8 and has a 7 wing Leo is a 1 and has a 2 wing Don is a 5 and has a 4 wing Mikey is a 7 and has a 6 wing

but if you want more details (including what the heck a ‘wing’ is), come along with me while i do some giant ass posts on the boys and how they align with their core numbers.

i'm especially excited to talk about "City at War" from the perspectives of an 8 and a 1, how mikey is a complicated combination of a lotta moving parts and almost stupidly self-aware, as well as "Same as it Never Was" and don's 5 and the fact this boy never talks about his goddamn horrors. like i warned: these are gonna be quite lengthy, but i’ll be breaking it up as neatly and in the most digestible way possible. as well as keep the meme-ing to a minimum. …but i make no promises.

stay tuned. i have an order i'm going in, and raph's up first.

#tmnt 2003 #tmnt 2k3 #tmnt raphael #tmnt leonardo #tmnt donatello #tmnt michelangelo #;hannah's meta #;tmnt #;tmnt enneagram #[ FORCES MYSELF TO POST THIS and slithers away ]

[best-underrated-anime]

Best Underrated Anime Group L Round 3: #L5 vs #L6

#L5: Underground boxer loves vampire doctor (BL)

#L6: Three girls and their (not) girly talk

Details and poll under the cut!

#L5: Mignon

[Note on video: Lots of blood. Slight NSFW at the end. Turn on CC for English subs.]

Summary:

After losing his parents at a young age, Mignon lives as a mechanic by day and a cage fighter by night at an illegal arena. Living a life of exploitation and violence, the only person who gives him any attention is Oh Young-One, the resident doctor at the arena.

Despite accidentally discovering Young-One’s true identity, Mignon continues to love him, and it’s this pure kind of love that lets Young-One slowly open his heart. But when the hellish reality surrounding Mignon starts threatening the stability of Young-One’s life, can these two ever find happiness?

Propaganda:

Mignon is an independently-made BL aeni (Korean anime). There are only 12 episodes, and each is around 5 minutes long, except for the last one which is at around 8 minutes. Watching everything is like watching a short film, and not just because of the length, but also because of its quality.

The story is really short, so much so that we don’t get to see how Mignon and Young-One develop feelings for each other (It’s easy to guess why though). We’re thrusted right into the turning point of their relationship, with episode 1 ending with a shocking revelation that immediately propels you into the rest of the story. And by “shocking,” I don’t mean it was unexpected. It’s shocking in a way that its execution ingeniously builds up the tension before exploding right in your face. 

The plot is nothing new in the yaoi genre, but Mignon makes up for this by delivering each aspect to perfection. The colors are purposeful, setting the tone of each scene while also telling us the significance of the place—loud, vibrant colors for the noisy arena, calm whites in the clinic where Mignon finds solace in Young-One, drab blues and greys in Young-One’s apartment where he’s lived alone for years, etc. Seriously, the backgrounds look like stand-alone paintings.

And oh, don’t get me started on the scene direction/arrangement. Every episode is impactful and unforgettable despite being very short. Episode 10, especially, is a cinematic masterpiece. Lastly, the music. There’s a lot of 80s synth-pop vibes that just work so well for it.

Mignon is really the kind of show you can call “art.” It’s a passion project by one person, and it took them three years to complete. You can just see how much thought is put into it. It’s not rushed at all, unlike a lot of weekly anime nowadays that would sacrifice the quality on unimportant scenes. And just for that, I think it’s worth checking out. 

Trigger Warnings: Blood, Physical Abuse, Gambling

NSFW Warning: Tongue kissing and some explicit sex scenes. The parts are pixelated, but it doesn’t really leave much to the imagination.

#L6: Please tell me! Galko-chan (Oshiete! Galko-chan)

Summary:

At first glance, Galko, Otako, and Ojou are three high school girls who seem like they wouldn’t have anything to do with each other. Galko is a social butterfly with a reputation for being a party animal, even though she is actually innocent and good-hearted despite her appearance. Otako is a plain-looking girl with a sarcastic personality and a rabid love of manga. And Ojou is a wealthy young lady with excellent social graces, though she can be a bit absent-minded at times. Despite their differences, the three are best friends, and together they love to talk about various myths and ask candid questions about the female body.

Propaganda:

Galko-chan is a short anime about 3 girl-friends, each representing a trope (the gyaru, the nerd and the lady) being friends despite their differences.

The episode generally kicks off with a taboo question—nothing’s really deep, but it works as a way to just deconstruct prejudices. Girls of all types and non types are welcome, it’s heartwarming.

Trigger Warnings: Gender Identity/Sexuality Discrimination. Galko is a gyaru, and it’s implied how she’s seen as a “slut”. But deconstructing these tropes are what the anime is all about.

When reblogging and adding your own propaganda, please tag me @best-underrated-anime so that I’ll be sure to see it.

If you want to criticize one of the shows above to give the one you’re rooting for an advantage, then do so constructively. I do not tolerate groundless hate or slander on this blog. If I catch you doing such a thing in the notes, be it in the tags or reblogs, I will block you.

Know one of the shows above and not satisfied with how it’s presented in this tournament? Just fill up this form, where you can submit revisions for taglines, propaganda, trigger warnings, and/or video.

#anime #aeni #best underrated anime #polls #poll tournament #tournament #anime tournament #animation #group stage #group stage round 3 #tournament polls #group l #mignon #민용 #please tell me galko chan #oshiete! galko chan #oshiete! gyaruko chan #please tell me! galko chan #please tell me gyaruko-chan

[yjano]

All of me.

Part 16.

Pairing: Jake x Mc.

Warnings: slow burn, swearing, angst, a little fluff, smut, violence and other pairings.

Words: 4.6k

Author's note: Although this story is not related to the Duskwood game, I will add some of our beloved characters. Please read it only if you're into angst prison stories, slow burns, etc. A little hint: You will get to see some similarities to Jake and his gang from "Never The Same" fic.

Sweat dripped from both Jessy's and my faces. While I was still putting pressure on the wound on Asher's body, Jessy rushed around the room to get the supplies she needed. Asher's face had by now almost turned into an icy color, and to say it worried me and Jessy would be an understatement. His vitals kept going lower and lower by the second while blood kept oozing out of the wound despite my attempt to stop it. The whole situation didn't look good at all, and both of us knew it.

"Mc, we need to do this now! We're losing him!" Jessy yelled out distressed while she rushed back over to me and the unconscious Asher.

With a hard smack, Jessy dropped all her equipment next to me on the metal table. Within an instant, she had put on a pair of gloves while she instructed me to step to the other side of the table.

"Mc, I need you to do exactly as I tell you. His vitals will drop once you let go of him, and the bleeding will get worse, but we need to get this bullet out for him to stabilize, okay?"

I gave her a short nod while I stepped to the other side of the table, all while trying to keep pressure on Asher's wound.

"When I say go, you will let go of Asher's and do exactly like you did at Jake's gunshot, okay? Open the wound, keep it clean, and press it back together when I get the bullet out." Jessy started while she grabbed the equipment she would need in a few seconds in her hands.

"If his heart stops, you will start giving him CPR while I continue with the wound. We need to keep him alive at all costs. Giving up is not an option when you work with me, you understand?"

I swallowed loudly before I gave Jessy an almost invisible nod, my heartbeat increasing by the second. She gave me a short look before shouting go, setting us both into action. I let go of Asher, grabbed the supplies Jessy had instructed, and a few seconds later, both of us were standing over the wound.

I was cleaning and keeping the wound open while Jessy tried to remove the bullet. Asher's decreasing heartbeat sounded in the background, the beeps getting slower by the second while blood kept leaking out of his body.

Sam's cries could be heard through the door that led to the other room, heartbreaking sobs traveling up my ears. I opened the wound a little further while Jessy pushed the clippers deeper down in an attempt to grab the bullet.

"Got it!" A small smile suddenly formed on Jessy's face while she slowly started to maneuver the bullet out of Asher's body.

"The moment I get this out, you need to close the wound and apply pressure on it, okay?"

With a soft nod, I agreed with her orders, and not a second later, she had retracted the bullet from Asher's body. Without giving it a second thought, I pressed the wound together while applying as much pressure on it as I could.

Jessy threw the bullet and the clippers in a metal bin next to me, already grabbing a needle and thread to sew Asher's skin back together. Blood kept leaking out of the unconscious guy even more than a few minutes before, making his heartbeat sound weaker by the second.

"Keep pushing the wound together while I try to sew him up. His heartbeat should stabilize once the wound is closed up." Jessy ordered, setting the both of us in immediate action.

While I pressed the skin together, Jessy started to sew it back up, the amount of blood loss decreasing with every knot she made. With a completely focussed face, Jessy finished up the last knot, a deep sigh leaving her body.

"You can let go. Please grab some fresh towels and clean him and yourself up. I will keep an eye on his vitals."

I let go of the wound, my hands completely covered in blood, and my heartbeat almost rose out of my chest. Asher's heartbeat was still beeping softly in the background, although it had been barely there for a few times during the operation. I didn't know much about him, but I knew he must be a fighter if he managed to survive such a wound.

I slowly started to walk to the cabinets filled with towels, bringing them with me to the small bathroom to get them wet and get rid of the blood on my own skin. I slowly pushed the tap a little upwards to get the water flowing, and a few seconds later, I was harshly scrubbing my skin to get rid of every last bit of blood that was on there.

The blood slowly mixed with the colorless water in the sink, making it look like a miniature murder scene. My body was still in a state of adrenaline mixed with shock, making me function mostly on autopilot, not really thinking about my actions.

Once I felt like I was clean enough, I wetted the extra towels I had brought with me and walked back to Jessy and Asher. She was now sitting on a stool next to Asher's body, an exhausted and grimm look on her face. I slowly walked over, grabbed Jessy's attention, and earned a small smile from her.

"You've done amazing, Mc, thank you."

With a soft nod, I walked over to Asher, and both of us started to clean the guy and got rid of his stained clothes. After completely cleaning and changing Asher's clothes the both of us placed the unconscious guy on a clean bed, placing a blanket over him to keep him warm while riding him out into the room where the others were waiting. It didn't take long for the others to notice the three of us coming into the room, expectant but terrified looks on all of their faces.

"He's okay, still unconscious but alive." Jessy whispered, placing Asher's bed in a free spot while giving the others a soft smile.

A loud sob immediately left Sam's mouth. He sprinted over towards his boyfriend and grabbed his hand. Deep sobs left his mouth while he sat himself down on Asher's bed, placing his head softly on his chest.

Sam's whole body shook from the heavy sobs that left his body, and the sight was a heartbreaking one to see for me. Sam always had a positive attitude towards everyone, and to see him like this broke my heart.

I stepped a little backward, the sight being too much for me. The adrenaline and shock were slowly leaving my body, making me suddenly aware of all the feelings that rushed through my body at the moment. All of them were too much to handle at once.

I had been the one to cause all of this, I had been the one who had almost killed Sam's boyfriend, I had been the one to not pull the trigger, I had been the one who hesitated, I had been the one who had done an operation for the second time, I had...

A soft sob left my mouth, I couldn't handle this all at once. Where was Jake when I needed him, I needed someone to rely on right now, but neither Jake nor Lex were in the room with me at the moment, making me all alone with my feelings. Another soft sob let my mouth, grabbing the attention of the other people in the room without me noticing.

A soft you've got to be kidding me was heard in the room before a set of footsteps sounded through the room. A set of footsteps who quickly made their way over towards me, making ms look up with my teary eyes. My eyes immediately widened once I got sight of a crying and angry Sam who was coming my way.

"Why are you crying!? It's your fucking fault he got shot!" Sam yelled while he kept coming closer and closer towards me. I stepped backwards to avoid a collusion with the pissed off guy while more sobs made their way out of my mouth.

"Why are you even here?! You shouldn't even be here! If you hadn't been here, he would never have been shot! It's all your fucking fault!" Sam kept yelling while he still kept coming closer towards md. I was now almost with my back against the wall while heavy sobs took over my body. He was right, it was my fault. I had fucked it all up.

"I-I'm sorry." I whispered almost inaudible, hoping it would calm him slightly.

"Sorry, doesn't fix things! I don't want your excuses! Hell, I don't even want you here! Nobody does! You're just here so Jake can get a good fuck once in a while!" Sam still yelled, he was now almost up in my face.

"He should have left you in the fucking prison! He should have..." Sam wasn't able to finish his sentence due to the smashing of the big door that lead to the hallway against the wall, grabbing the attention from everybody that was in the room.

"Enough!" Jake's voice suddenly boomed across the room, everybody's eyes almost bulging out of their faces at the sight before them. Jake had his gun readied before him and a raging look in his eyes.

Without thinking, Sam stepped away from me, his eyes falling on Jake, who had his gun aimed at him and looked like he was ready to fire at any moment.

"Jake, what are you..." Sam started but got cut off by Jake's booming voice immediately.

"Where the fuck were you the night Mc's sister got killed?!"

Sam's eyes got as big as saucers while the color slowly started to drain from his face.

"In my apartment."

Without thinking, Jake loaded his gun, aiming it even more at Sam.

"Bullshit! You killed her didn't you!?"

Heavy tears started to drip from Sam's eyes while he was shaking his head and giving Jake a pleading look.

"Answer me!" Jake's voice boomed again, his voice sounding angrier by the second while Sam slowly dropped down on his knees next to me.

"I-I didn't... Jake, please. I swear I didn't."

With an angry look on his face, Jake started to walk over towards Sam. The others, including me, were all afraid by the scene. Sure, all of us had seen Jake angry, but never this angry.

"Don't lie to me! The evidence is overwhelming. You're on camera! I saw you leave the building and come back completely covered in bruises and blood!" Jake yelled again, stepping even closer towards Sam, who was now full on crying.

"Jake, I-I didn't, I swear I didn't." Deep sobs made their way out of Sam's mouth while his whole body started to shake.

"You wanted revenge, didn't you?! You wanted revenge because Mc's sister put Asher in jail! You killed her because she separated you two! The only problem was that it wasn't enough, was it?! You needed to frame her sister too to get your ultimate revenge!" Jake now full on boomed while he aimed his gun at Sam's head.

The whole room now fell completely silent while everybody looked with big eyes at Jake. Nobody dared to come between them or to calm Jake down, afraid he would turn his gun at them. This wasn't the Jake they knew, this was completely out of the ordinary. This wasn't the calm and collected Jake they had grown to know, this was an outraged and filled with hate Jake. There had been one time they had seen this side of Jake before, but that was a long time ago, a time they all wanted to forget.

Jake's own eyes started to fill themselves with tears while he aimed his gun a little better.

"You leave me with no choice Sam..."

Sam put his hands in front of his face while more sobs made their way out of his mouth, heartbreaking sobs that sounded through the whole room. A room filled with people all beyond shocked at the sight before them, some of them now crying themselves while others could only look in shock at Jake and Sam.

"Jake... P-please..." Sam pleaded again, not getting any reaction from Jake at all. Jake placed his finger on the trigger, a single lonely tear dripping down from his eye.

"I'm sor-"

"No... No... No!" Without thinking, I jumped in front of Sam, spreading my arms while I made eye contact with Jake.

"Stop this madness! Please don't kill him."

Jake eyes grew slightly bigger when he noticed me. He removed his finger from the trigger and slightly lowered his gun.

"What the fuck are you doing, Mc? Are you fucking serious? After all he's done to you?"

I slowly dropped down on my knees, setting myself before Sam while keeping eye contact with Jake.

"Please don't, he's my friend. I don't care if he did it or not. He doesn't deserve to die, Jake. You can't kill one of your friends."

Jake now completely lowered his gun, pressing his teeth against each other while mumbling 'not anymore." I looked up with pleading eyes.

"He is Jake, besides I fucked up with Asher I don't wanna see someone else almost die in front of my eyes, we could barely help Asher. Please don't do that to Sam."

Sam sobs could still be heard throughout the whole room while Jake and I gave each other an intense stare, both of us not giving up on our decision. Ten long seconds passed before Jake suddenly turned around and slammed his gun on the table next to him.

"This is a fucking joke!" He yelled through the room. Without giving anyone a second glare he threw the door that lead out of the hospital wing open, making it crash against the wall while exiting the room himself.

The whole room fell completely silent. The only sound being heard was the soft clicking of the door falling back shut. Without giving it a second thought, I turned around and wrapped Sam up in my arms.

"Shh, you're okay. He won't kill you."

Deep sobs left Sam's mouth again, his fists buried in my chest while I softly tried to calm the stressed guy.

"I-I'm sorry, Mc, I swear I didn't do it... I shouldn't have yelled at you, but I'm so scared of losing Asher."

I wrapped my arms a little tighter around Sam, rubbing his back softly while swinging them slowly back and forth.

"I know, It's okay."

~

I slowly walked back to my apartment, hoping to find Jake inside. After the whole scene in the hospital wing, everyone had eventually somewhat calmed down. Sam and Jessy had decided to stay with Asher, while the others all retreated to their own apartments.

All of them, including me. I had no idea if my roommate would be inside our apartment or not, and if Jake would be there, would he still want me to be there too or if he was ready to kick me out. I didn't regret saving Sam, but I did regret the fact that I didn't go after Jake immediately after he left the room.

An hour had passed, and I had no idea if Jake even left to our apartment. Hell, I didn't even know if Jake was inside the building at all. For all I knew, he had gone outside without anyone noticing, I had, after all, upset him quite a bit.

With a heart that was hammering in my chest, I turned the corner to my shared apartment, only hoping Jake would be there and we could talk about what had happened earlier. Jake meant the world to me, and I didn't want to lose him over something like this.

Jake had become my lifeline, the person I could trust the most, the guy who held a large portion of my feelings. I liked him, and I didn't wanna lose Jake due to everything that had happened. He had been the one to give me a second chance, and I would forever be grateful for that, but it didn't mean that I would agree with everything Jake did.

We still were two different souls with different opinions, and the whole incident with Sam had made that more than clear. This being even more of a reason that I wanted to talk with Jake, I didn't wanna lose him but I also wanted a chance to explain my own reason for handling the situation the way I did.

I slowly walked up to my apartment door, pushing the handle down to find the door wasn't locked, and there was a big chance Jake would be inside. With a soft click, I shut the door behind me, walking towards the living room and spotting Jake immediately on the large couch.

His body looked tense, his hands were balled into fists, and his jaw was pushed together harshly. Jake didn't react at all even though he must have heard me entering the room, and he didn't spare me a glance at all.

With a soft sigh, I walked towards the couch, sitting down while leaving some room between me and Jake. An awkward silence fell over the room, both of us not speaking at all. I was too nervous to say anything while the anger radiated of Jake's body. With a nervous look on my face, I gave him a quick glance, instantly regretting my decision.

Jake's face almost looked like stone, his eyes staring at only one point outside while his lips were shut tight. Silence kept engulfing the whole room, making me even more nervous since I had no idea how Jake would react to me at all once I would start speaking.

Five more minutes passed with both of us still not saying anything towards each other 'till I decided that I would be the first one to speak if I wanted to get this over with.

"Jake..." I eventually managed to stumble out, my voice shaky and almost inaudible.

I slowly turned my head, hoping to find a reaction from him, but the opposite was true. Jake was still staring straight ahead, not acknowledging me in any way.

"Jake, I-" I started again, only to get an almost immediate reaction out of Jake this time. A reaction I didn't hope for, but at least it was something.

"Mc don't!" Jake hissed through his teeth, his hands bawling into fists even more to control his anger.

I could almost feel the rage coming from Jake through his words. I hated the fact that I made Jake feel like this, I hated that he closed himself off again, and I hated that Jake's tone made me feel so small. Without noticing myself, my eyes watered up a little, I didn't want to fight with Jake. I just wanted my friend back.

"Jake, please I-"

"Why Mc? Why the fuck would you go stand between me and him. Why the fuck would you protect him and put your own life in danger!?" Jake whisper yelled while he got up from the couch and walked away to the kitchen, leaving an almost crying me behind.

I waited a short minute to see if Jake would come back, but since he never did, I decided to get up and go after him myself. A few seconds later, I found Jake in the kitchen, his hands gripping the counter harshly while heavy breaths left his mouth. I slowly walked up to him, coming to a halt right behind him.

"I did it because I believed it to be the right thing to do. He's my friend and yours too, Jake."

Jake banged his fist on the counter loudly.

"He's a fucking traitor!"

I flinched a little from the sudden loud noise but didn't step back from the scene this time, if I was able to stay in place with a gun pointed at my head then staying in place while an angry Jake stood before me must be possible too.

"He might be, but you can't kill him just because of that Jake. Yes, he might have killed my sister, and yes, he might have framed me, but we don't know that for sure. You can't kill someone just because you assumed he did it, at least give him a chance to explain himself."

A deep scoff left Jake's mouth, indicating that he was listening to me but didn't agree with anything I said at all. I slowly took a step forward, placing my hand on Jake's shoulder.

"Please let it go for now. Besides, you hated my sister, so you should be relieved Sam might have possibly killed her."

A harsh and sarcastic laugh left Jake's mouth while he softly shook his head.

"You don't get it, do you? I'm not angry about your sister being dead, I'm angry because he framed you. I wanted to kill him because of what he had done to you. Your sister being dead doesn't bother me at all. She fucking deserved it." Jake whisper yelled through his teeth, his back still towards me but his body language somewhat calmer.

His muscles were still tense but not as tense as before, and his hands weren't gripping the counter that hard anymore. I slowly took another step towards Jake, placing my other hand on his other shoulder.

"I'm not worth killing for Jake. What he possibly did wasn't right, but it's not worth killing one of your best friends for."

Within an instant, Jake had turned himself around, looking me straight in the eyes.

"You are worth it! You are worth way more... You...I-" Jake's whole demeanor changed within an instant from angry to almost uncertain and shy, throwing me completely off guard. I didn't know what had made the change in Jake's mood, but I was glad his anger seemed to have died down.

"Mc I..." Jake started again, looking down for an instant before he looked me back in the eyes. An emotion swirling in them I couldn't place right now. I had seen Jake look at me multiple times, but I had never seen Jake look at me like this.

"Mc, I would kill for you... I would do everything to protect you."

I looked back at him, a questioning look in my eyes.

"But why? Why would you kill one of your best friends, someone who you have known way longer than me just to protect me?"

Jake gave me a long, almost searching look before he softly placed one of his hands on my cheek.

"Because I can't lose you, Mc, because..."

A soft silence fell between the two of us, I was still searching Jake's eyes for something that would indicate to me where Jake was going with his words. Before I could fully register what was happening, Jake had placed his lips on mine, lingering there for a few short seconds before he let go again and placed his forehead against mine.

"Mc...I can't lose you because... I love you."

My eyes widened while my heart started to hammer almost out of my chest. Had I heard that, right? Did Jake really say that he loved me? Did the guy who I liked so much really confessed his feelings towards me? My breathing picked up a little, looking right in Jake's eyes, still not believing he had told me that he actually loved me. Not liked me, no, he loved me.

I slowly searched Jake's eyes for any form of regret he might have, but I never found any. Without thinking, I slammed my lips back on Jake's while I wrapped my arms around his torso. Butterflies erupted in my stomach, and before both of us knew what was happening, Jake had flipped our positions so that he was pushing me against the counter.

Our mouths were still molding forcefully together while our tongues battled for dominance. Jake's hand was still on my cheek while the other hand kept me in place against the counter. Jake's hand slowly creeped from my cheek into my hair locks, gripping on them softly to get even more reaction out of me.

As if on cue, a soft groan erupted out of my mouth, giving Jake even more access to my mouth and giving him the upper hand in our battle for dominance. A battle Jake was destined to win but didn't want to force on me. My hands softly started to roam over Jake's back, letting him have the upper hand within our little battle.

Jake kept pulling softly on my hair locks every now and then, each time getting a small but certain reaction out of me. He slowly detached his lips from mine, going straight for my neck and collarbone, giving small butterfly kisses to the soft skin while searching for my special spot that would give him even more of a reaction.

Unconsciously, I wrapped my arms a little tighter around his torso, pushing Jake even tighter against myself. I loved the feeling of his lips against my skin, I loved the little tingles Jake's lips left at every spot he kissed, and I loved the love he displayed through them.

Jake kept kissing my neck, going over every little spot until I suddenly inhaled sharply while my fingers pushed a little in his back. A small smirk formed on Jake's lips, and suddenly, he started to suck harshly at the spot, getting an immediate reaction out of me. I unconsciously threw my head back a little to give Jake more access while a soft moan erupted from my mouth.

"Fuck, Jake-"

Jake grabbed my hair a little tighter to keep my head in place. I gave him full control over the situation as Jake kept kissing and sucking at my sensitive spot.

"You like that baby?"

Not being able to answer with words, I softly nodded my head while harsh pants and soft moans kept coming out of my mouth. Jake took another step forward, pushing me even harder into the counter. Our bodies now completely flushed against each other, Jake's leg between both of mine creating a small bit of friction between us. Just enough to get the both of us even more excited for each other but not enough to lose our minds completely.

Sure Jake wanted more, hell he even believed Mc wanted it too but he wanted their first time to be special, not some quick kitchen fuck. Mc was worth way more than that.

Another moan erupted out of my mouth, I unconsciously pushed my hips a little forward to create more friction between the two of us. The butterflies in my stomach were completely taking over at this point, and if Jake kept doing what he did, he would drive me completely crazy within a few minutes.

Jake placed a few more kisses on my skin before he slowly detached himself from me, earning himself a confused look from me.

"Why did you stop?"

A soft laugh erupted out of Jake's mouth before he captured my lips in a sweet and soft kiss, bringing us both in a calmer state of mind.

"Because you are worth way more than quick kitchen fuck, baby."

My cheeks instantly turned a cherry red at Jake's choice of words, getting slightly embarrassed of my own hormones. Jake placed another soft kiss on my lips before he completely let go of me.

"I love you, Mc. So much."

A small smile fell on my face, returning the action almost instantly.

"I love you too, Jake. I really do."

We gave each other a short look before another round of making out with each other broke out between the two of us.

#duskwood #duskwood jake #duskwood mc #duskwood family #duskwood fandom #jake x mc #mc and jake #duskwood fanfiction #everybyte studio

[cursestitched]

Content: Pregnancy, food mention, baby bump, etc.

Author's Note: this is only a sneak peak into a three part fanfiction I'm working on between my original character (Satoru Jiro) and Wanda Maximoff. This is my first time writing a fanfic at all so kindly bare with me in regards to the pacing of the story.

Summary: Satoru Jiro had been in love Wanda Maximoff for years. It's just that for as much as he valued their close friendship and teamwork, her love belonged to The Vision. He could only watch their happiness from afar.

Now, Satoru and Wanda are in Westview, living through it's various sitcoms. Wanda is pregnant and Satoru is providing stability with his work as a Bhuddist Monk leading an ever growing religious group in town. He's still upholding his promise to take care and protect her but he finds himself closer and closer to admitting these feelings he's kept hidden for so long.

"So, at some point the baby will start kicking? Won't that hurt?"

Wanda shook her head and smiled. "Sometimes but you've just gotta be there when they start moving around."

Ever since Satoru had changed his schedule to being away from his religious duties on Tuesdays and Thursdays, he's done nothing but keep Wanda company with all sorts of questions about the infant inside her round shape of her stomach.

It was an honest childlike curiosity that wound him up with so much enthusiasm that he started carrying a notebook with him for all sorts of questions and theories he had on his mind. Conversations that didn't go on without Satoru pampering her with foot and shoulder massages, providing cute maternity clothes, gathering resources between the kitchen and grocery store to soothe those bizarre to mundane pregnancy cravings.

His hand was caressing her stomach, anticipating these baby kicks he had been hearing so much about. Meanwhile preparations for a evening brunch was being organized for today's house guests.

The Jones Family. A family of four that the couple were well acquainted with. To squash any and all tension between himself and Phil, Satoru invited them over. The helpers in the kitchen, two of his followers, an older woman and her grandson no older than 19, had the choice to stay or leave once they arrived.

"Are you nervous?" He finally asked. "I've heard Dottie's quite outgoing and friendly in that country club you're in."

"A little. Dottie's nice but that's as long as you don't get on her bad side." Wanda said, half jokingly. While she respected Mrs. Jones and found comfort in their surprisingly tolerant friendship that developed between over the last month, Wanda couldn't help but sense a pinch of jealousy in that southern belle smile.

The man sitting beside her wasn't Vision and he never tried to be. But the genuine patience and care he had put into spending time with her was greatly appreciated now that the morning sickness and spells of dizziness had become part of her day to day routine. What especially made her heart melt was his interest in the baby growing inside of her. Despite the fact that the child wasn't his, he continued to love it as if it were.

She was incredibly lucky to have a dear friend like Satoru in her life.

"Everything is going to be fine, Wanda." Satoru squeezed her hand and kissed her knuckle, their wedding rings glinting in the small ray of sunlight from a window.

"You and I have everything under control."

#tw pregnancy #tw baby bump #wanda maximoff fanfiction #wanda x reader #wanda fanfic #Wandavision fanfic #mommy wanda #pregnant wanda

[cuntess-carmilla]

Hey guys, I've been doing a little better with my chronic fatigue since I got these mast-cell stabilizing meds and while the opportunity I got from a goth brand on IG didn't work out in the end, it moved me to think that maybe I can make some form of income through my goth posting if only I get enough exposure and like... Ideas for material?

If anyone's got any questions and such about the goth subculture they would like me to answer on a TikTok video I'd be eternally grateful. I'm a bit too inside the subculture and have been for so for 15 years as to know what kind of doubts newcomers or complete outsiders may have.

These are some videos I've made of the sort.

Here I am talking about what mallgoth really was vs its current misconception:

Here I am answering a question on nu goth's legitimacy, its true origin, and current place within the goth subculture:

I can make band/album/song recommendations, 101s, etc. Also thirst traps dancing to goth songs.

This post is ok to boost. You can tell me by replying, reblogging or DMing me.

[black-arcana]

INTERVIEW – LIV KRISTINE TALKS MUSIC, NEW BEGINNINGS + MORE

If we are honest with ourselves, we may ask… what defines us? A very lofty question to ponder, the truth lies in finding a place between the light and darkness of life, all while still being able to remain grounded on earth. This could mean something different for everyone, but for Liv Kristine salvation is within music, family, and helping others. 

Known by many in the Metal world as the Scandinavian Goth Queen, Kristine has left an impression throughout the last three plus decades of her musical career. First doing so as a part of Theatre of Tragedy, then with Leaves’ Eyes, she has also cleared a path as a solo artist. Taking with her experiences – some good, others bad, and others heartbreaking – Kristine finds deeper meaning in everything as she looks toward the future. 

Recently returning in 2023 with the exceptional, must-listen River of Diamonds album, now in 2024 she reflects on the past with the recently reissued, remastered edition of her 1998 solo debut album Deus Ex Machina. Truly exciting times, Kristine recently took some time to reflect on the trials and tribulations of life, finding a way to see through it, plans for more new music, plus much more. 

Cryptic Rock – A lot has happened over the last decade with you musically, as well as personally. Briefly tell us, how would you describe the past ten years of your life? 

Liv Kristine – Yes. There’s been a lot of change… especially in 2016. That was in mid-end January, the beginning of February 2016, when I was forced to leave Leaves’ Eyes. I was just left with a lot of doubt. I thought – How am I going to continue producing and releasing albums, or go on stage with this frequency of great disappointment? I was very disappointed; because Leave’s Eyes was my baby too. It was all about my Norwegian heritage; it had a concept which was really tightly linked to my own persona and history.

I had to get up again, and of course, take care of my family, moving home, etc. This is to go along with all of the stuff that goes with a divorce… it is just terrible. Those times were really harsh. I knew times were going to be really rough and busy for a couple of years. You always need a couple of years to stabilize after such a traumatic experience. I saw that there definitely had to come something afterwards; something much lighter and brighter.

I worked really hard day by day, having different jobs. Eventually, people kept coming into my life I learned to trust and to embrace. I also met my now real husband, Michael, who asked me the question, “Do you really want to continue singing? Do you want to continue being an artist? Will you ever go on stage again?” As I thought about that question, I really started crying because it’s such a big part of my life. It’s just so personal as well as authentic. There is this deep connection to you all out there.

That frequency kept me going and promised my husband, “Okay, if we do this together, I will continue with what seems to be my way of serving the world, of serving the universe.” At the same time, what came out of those stressful times, and having different jobs, is that I’m now devoted to working with children with special needs. I have a 100% job, next to music, working and supporting children with special needs. I’ve come to a point in my life where I’m really grateful for everything and for any experience. Under the bottom line, that is who I am. It’s due to my experience for which I am so grateful. You guys are still around… it means something. It’s all worth it.

Cryptic Rock – Wow. It sounds like it has been a pretty crazy, turbulent ride. All together, you have a very interesting story to tell that follows your career. There was Theatre of Tragedy, and we know what happened there, and then there was Leaves’ Eyes. It has to be tough to deal with such letdowns. What would you say your key to move forward through the disappointments has been?

Liv Kristine – It’s this inner call that there is this true, authentic version of yourself which really wants to manifest. If you survive tragedies, traumas, really rough situations, and a lot of stress, that’s a clear sign that you’re actually getting closer to your true self.

River of Diamonds, my latest solo album which was released last year, is actually about that path. Seeing the diamonds, seeing the light in the darkness. When do you see the stars and the planets in the horizon, when you look into the universe? It’s only in the darkness.

I think that both experiences, brokenness and beauty, belong to our experience which is called life. It is that time given to us between what we call birth and death. If you manage to survive, as stated, it’s a clear sign that you’re getting closer to your true authentic self.

Theatre of Tragedy – Theatre of Tragedy Theatre of Tragedy – Aegis Massacre (1995) Massacre  (1998)

Cryptic Rock – That is definitely something that you feel when you have children. It is really inspiring to see you have pushed forward through everything. You mentioned the album River of Diamonds. Released last year, it is new, but also harks back to your earlier days. It has a very Theatre of Tragedy sound. Returning to a more Gothic Metal sound, tell us about the creation of this record. 

Liv Kristine – Yes, you’re so right. It’s Tommy Olsson, who is the producer and the composer of the album. Tommy was the guy who composed the third release by Theatre of Tragedy; 1998’s Aégis. Tommy and I both left Theatre of Tragedy… he left just around the period when I was gone. We got together again and it was just something that happened all of a sudden. I’m so grateful that Tommy kept sending me songs; I think I have received about 35 compositions. I was free to choose, to pick, and just to go with the flow.

Tommy has always been very patient with me; because I needed time to get settled, to take care of my family, my jobs, etc. Plus there was everything that happened after 2016… which was the year when Tommy reached out to get in touch. Between 2016 and 2023, when the album was released, a few years passed by, but I needed that time. I needed that space. I needed to really feel the flow of creativity returning to me after a stressful period. Tommy is definitely the right guy to work with going back to that well-known sound of Theatre of Tragedy. It was a great corporation.

Cryptic Rock – It certainly was. If people are not aware of the River of Diamonds, hopefully they are learning about it, because it was one of the biggest surprises of 2023. Will there be further collaboration between you and Tommy?

Liv Kristine – I’m sure there will be. As we are talking now, I began working with new compositions for my seventh solo album. I’m just going with the flow now. I’ll see what comes from Tommy’s side; if he wants to sit down and compose. I know he has a 100% job himself. We’ll see what happens. Sharing this release with Tommy was absolutely magic.

Cryptic Rock – It really is a great listen and hopefully more will come from it. You also recently re-released your debut solo album on March 1st. Released for the first time on vinyl, it is also available as a double CD, which also has some unreleased bonus tracks as well. It’s almost like being reborn in a way, because you have a new life now. Did it feel like this was a great way to revisit the past, be reborn again, and re-show this material to the world?

Liv Kristine – I couldn’t have said it in a better way. Thank you so much. It’s exactly that. I recently turned 48 years old on Valentine’s Day, and I consider myself to be just in the middle of life. It just feels amazing to be here with everything I am and everything I’ve experienced. The work leading to the release of River of Diamonds was like writing a book. I believe, if I hadn’t released the album, I would have released a book.

Now, being just in the middle of everything and feeling better than ever, it’s like a second half of my life has just started. Re-releasing Deus Ex Machina is just the perfect moment to just round it up. Back then in 1998, when Deus Ex Machina was released, I was a student. I was still a singer of Theatre of Tragedy. I had just left Norway, moved to Germany, and I was touring with Theatre of Tragedy. It was a very exciting time.

Being a Norwegian young woman born somewhere in the nowhere of Norway, between the fjords and the mountains, I was then in the middle of everything. The world responds to something you are doing because you love it so much. Everything we did with Theatre of Tragedy was something we really burned for; something that came from the heart. The world starts reacting, and then there is fame and there is success. Obviously, Massacre Records was interested in releasing the solo album, and I’m still grateful for that. It feels like this moment is just perfect for the reissue of Deus Ex Machina.

Cryptic Rock – Agreed, It is a great time to re-release. It is a good way to also reintroduce some people to an album that perhaps they have not heard in a while, or who have not heard at all.

Enter My Religion Liv Kristine – Vervian Reissue Allegro Talent Media (2022) Napalm Records (2014)

Cryptic Rock – That is very interesting. For this re-release, the whole album is also remastered, correct? 

Liv Kristine – Yes. Everything is remastered. As you already mentioned, there is bonus material. We got hold of an old hard disk and we have added a couple of demos from that. We recomposed “Portrait: Ei tulle med øyne blå,” a traditional Norwegian Folk song, which was recomposed by Geir Bratland (the keyboardist of Dimmu Borgir). It’s just perfect because he’s Norwegian too. He knows all about this Norwegian traditional stuff. I’m very happy about that. We changed the artwork, added new pictures, and everything is just perfect now. I’m very happy that we really got hold of the original material for it.

Cryptic Rock – That is great to hear. On top of this, you also have re-released the song “3 AM,” featuring you with Nick Holmes from Paradise Lost, as a single. A great song with clear chemistry between you two, what was it like connecting with Nick? 

Liv Kristine – Absolutely. It was a great honor to work with him. Back then, in 1997-98, I was already a huge fan of Paradise Lost. I remember that cold morning when we picked him up from a tour. He was touring Europe Paradise Lost, they had played a show in Germany, or were about to play a show in Germany. We went there by car with Massacre Records, we knocked on the door of the tour bus, and Nick was a little bit tired. I think because I guess there had been some partying going on after the show. Nick was ready though and was in a good mood. He went with us to the studio, asked for a cup of tea, and a slice of bread with marmalade.

The frequency was just so open-minded and open-hearted at the very first time we met. Later, during the times when touring with Leaves’ Eyes, we toured with Paradise Lost, and it was always a pleasure and an honor to meet Nick again. I really appreciate his direct way, his transparency, and he always being himself. I appreciate that.

Cryptic Rock – Those are great memories. Talking about collaborations, you have done plenty of them through the years. Whether it be for your own material or offering your voice to others’ material such as with Cradle of Filth’s  “Nymphetamine.” Do you enjoy collaborating with others like that?

Liv Kristine – Definitely. In the period when I was really busy fixing my life and taking care of my family, I still got numerous offers to join in on different projects and bands doing corporations. That really helped me financially and also to be present somehow. I wasn’t ready for my own album though. My mind wasn’t clear enough and I was just too stressed out. I’m really grateful for that because there were a lot of opportunities. I have a really long list of which I’m really proud. It all began with Cradle of Filth back then, with “Nymphetamine.” It has continued even up until today. I’m still receiving offers to work with bands and different projects. I love that. It’s a very nice way to be creative in different ways and to have an open mind; because you receive a song, you receive different input, and then you start working with it.

Cryptic Rock – It is very exciting and keeps everything open. You also had collaborations on your latest album, River of Diamonds. You had Fernando Ribeiro from Moonspell on it too. There is also a history with you and Moonspell from touring together.  history there too. 

Leaves’ Eyes – Lovelorn Leaves’ Eyes – Vinland Saga Napalm Records (2004) Napalm Records (2006)

Cryptic Rock – That is great to hear. So you have the re-release of Deus Ex Machina and the new album River of Diamonds out now. You stated that you are already working on new material. What can people expect from that? Is there a timetable for that right now?

Liv Kristine – There is no timetable yet. I don’t really like timetables. I’m very eager to continue song by song. I really like to work track by track to concentrate on each and every one, and then continue with the next. I realized that the lyrics I’m writing are darn honest. I think I need to stick to that; because every solo album I’ve released so far reflects a chapter in my life. I could never do anything else than being authentic. When I recently started writing lyrics, listening to the new tracks, I thought, “Well, there is no other way around. Just go for it. Just go for the soul stuff.” Everything that comes from the soul, that’s it! That’s the words I want to sing, and that’s the messages I want to convey through my music.

Cryptic Rock – When it arrives it will be exciting. As you said, it has to come naturally. 

Liv Kristine – Yes, it has to. I promise you it won’t take six, seven years.

Cryptic Rock – That is good to hear.. Through all of the trials and tribulations, you seem to have a very positive outlook on things. That is a challenge, because people could become bitter when trouble comes their way. There are two directions you could go – you can either become bitter and wallow in your own misery, or you could move forward. You have chosen to move forward. How do you keep that optimism? What is that light for you?

Liv Kristine – Thank you so much. Yes, it’s absolutely true. Of course there are moments when you keep asking those questions that don’t really make sense such as – “Why me?, Why is this always happening to me?” You kind of fall into that victim role. It happens to everyone though, especially when you don’t feel the earth. When you don’t feel grounded anymore, you don’t feel heaven or whatever, you just lose touch with your soul. Then it feels like, “Okay, I’m being delivered on a silver plate, and that’s it. That’s supposed to be my life. I’m just trying to exist. I’m not thriving. I’m not growing.”

For me, what was the instant remedy was actually going out in nature; even if it was just a 10-minute walk with my dog. I realized that I had to work on one thing, and that is not falling into the victim role. Secondly, if something’s hurting in your soul or in your heart, there is no other way around but to go inside. Maybe you would need a good friend. Maybe you would need a sole partner to be with you when you’re doing that. However, when you’re going into the depth of your soul, you will find a lot of darkness. It’s so important to have a really trustful friend around you who doesn’t tell you what you would like to hear. A friend that tells you there is another perspective to things and to situations. It is – A, we can fix this. B, we can fix this. C, we cannot fix this right now, but it’s going to get fixed. I really appreciate my dearest friends. There are a few of them.

Of course there was meeting Michael, my husband and my sole partner. When I was feeling despair and unsafe on this planet, because of all of that stuff going on, I always thought about my son. I always thought about all those moments we have had and all the happy moments we’re going to have and this deep connection between the two of us.

I have to say nature helped me a lot. Motherhood helped me a lot. Falling in love again with my new husband, that helped me a lot. I’ve always been someone who feels deep empathy with other people too. So, during COVID, I started working with other people really trying to heal their traumas; to find ways to see the light at the end of the tunnel.

Sometimes you just need some practical advice. Sometimes you need some soul advice. You need someone to give you some direction. Sometimes it is just an embracement, a smile, or just asking someone, “How are you? Really, how are you?” It all comes down to getting to know yourself, to go into acceptance, and then to look forwards and take what’s there and use it. It is taking all the experience and using it for what comes. You will feel so whole and rich in the end… and so experienced. It’s a pleasure and honor to help other people out there to see the light in the darkness.

Cryptic Rock – Yes, it is a wonderful thing. We need more of that in the world, especially right now. It seems like the world is off its axis. You mentioned how you feel like you are in the middle of everything at this point. Life is never linear, but if we do something right, it is earning wisdom. What would you say the biggest piece of wisdom you have learned from everything has been?

Liv Kristine – There is so much talk about manifestation now out in the world. People are trying to manifest their happiness. I come to the point which is that – yeah, you can manifest a nice car, you can manifest Gucci glasses, and you can manifest holidays in the Bahamas. However, those are things that make you happy maybe instantly or for shorter periods. You have intentions and you want to manifest them. That’s something you do for the 3D world. That’s the physical world we’re living in.

Then there is another dimension. That is what I would like to call your higher self. That’s where your spirit is and your soul. When you go in there and start manifesting, you start getting in alignment with who you really are. You say – What do I really want to do? For me, it was really knowing that I need to serve the world as a singer, handwriting lyrics, singing words about healing, and that life is both beauty and broken.

I need to go out there and serve the world supporting children with special needs. When I realized that, things started to happen. I got a much better job, people turned to me for comfort, for dissolving their trauma and helping them. You’re sending out these frequencies about who you really are in your soul. When there is resonance to that, and there must be a resonance to that, that’s real growth. That’s the real manifestation.

Liv Kristine – River of Diamonds Liv Kristine – Deus Ex Machina Massacre (2023) Massacre (2024)

Cryptic Rock – Absolutely. It seems from what you are saying that maybe we hold on too tightly at times looking for that happiness.

Liv Kristine – Absolutely. We look around in our 3D world, in the physical world, and that is material-oriented. It might give you some happiness for a while, but it kind of goes away. It dissolves. That might be a burden in the end… what if you’re not able to pay for your big car? (Laughs) It’s very interesting when you tap into this field.

Cryptic Rock – Yes. Just to elaborate further, it is about becoming grounded with nature. Sometimes people think that’s kind of hippie-ish, but maybe you should go run in the grass barefoot for a little while. It connects you with the earth. The connection is real.

Liv Kristine – It is a real feeling. It absolutely is true. I feel that every time I’m going to a certain place in the forest. I’m living in Switzerland with my husband and my family now. There is a spot in the forest where I really think that something is magic and frequencies can reach me. It’s a place of stillness too. I really liked going there. Nature is so important.

I heard somewhere that the pulse or the frequency of love is the same as the frequency of Mother Earth, when we met the frequencies of the Earth. That’s the love frequency. I think there is something to it. Nature is so beautiful. It’s all about love, and that’s where you’ll find oneness and wholeness. It’s so rich.

#liv kristine #interview

[horizon-verizon]

Inspired by other ask: What positive quality people see in Aegon II? What do you think makes people love/like/feel anything positive about him?

@daenerysthefirst 

The heft of the love or sympathy for Aegon II mostly comes from:

a) the belief that men should continue to inherit power over women in a patriarchal society; Rhaenyra is not as much of a human being with flaws as Aegon to them

b) the idea that the patriarchal rules in of themselves, more often than not, should be followed for the continuance of order and stability (too much work to actually do something and uproot this sort of thing even in smaller, inspirational ways)

c) When considering what makes a man a good ruler, and how he respects the autonomy and boundaries of women specifically, doesn't factor into his how good or bad he is as a leader. Yes, it does to some (me for example) but I mean as a social pattern and idea. Think of how people praised Jaehaerys for years and are ignorant of how his treatment of his daughters, sister, and wife doesn't concern them so much. And yes, he was good at some practical aspects of ruling and was better at self-preservation….that also became his patriarchal selfishness in his decisions to assimilate body and mind to use Andal suppression of female leadership for his own ends.

d) fandoms and people consuming TV nowadays -- as this article hints at -- do not view women as autonomous, thinking and feeling humans as men; so they grant men much more lenience and less scrutiny for their questionable, evil, or problematic actions. Especially once they show the sort of helpless frustration or show a different image of themselves and their abilities than what is apparent. sometimes that includes them failing at the male-assigned/traditionally associated social "duties" and behaviors (examples: controlling the flow of cash within the household not by directly going through a budget but by giving direction and/or providing those funds OR holding onto power and trying to present manliness while doing it but showing vulnerability and frustration privately [so only the viewers see how pathetic they "really" are]) and being vulnerable to a person who could do those things better or ahead of them in some way.

That writer pointed out the linguistic infantilizing/feminizing of male characters who "fail" at achieving and/or presenting the ability to achieve/obtain impressive positions, images, resources, etc., i.e., the "girl failures" and "baby girls", and the teenage-girlification" of some male characters of Succession in the viewers seeing and "relating" to their emotional pain... sometimes just because they happen to actually express that emotional pain or frustration with recognizably teenage girl items and/or behaviors to "self-soothe".

The Senex Amans and the Connection b/t The Spectacle of Comedy and Drama & Patriarchy

Kinda reminds me actually of the senex amans character of Latin literature and adopted into medieval/early modern literature, how this jealous old man, sometimes a pervert, is supposed to have begun as a comedic character in Greek & Roman comedy. This character is defined by his pathetic lack of control over his own sexual desires or is both "impotent" for being cuckolded/thinking he won't be/that he has the ability to prevent it by isolating his wife. Trying to present himself as having some real control only to have it slip from him until it's too late (the seducer or wife's using blind spots against him or just plain opportunity). In other words, he tries to regain some of the masculinity he lost by getting old through his possessing her. As the old man can/not be expected to ever really participate in knightly/military activities younger men can in the "high" literature that these sorts of medieval texts parody or refer to in "cruder" language and wordplay. Being a knight or showing traits associated with aristocratic knighthood and chivalry was the pinnacle of masculinity even for those who are not aristocrats.

The plays and other texts usually had the younger girl being either kidnapped/seduced away by a more powerful/younger man or voluntarily entering an extramarital affair with a young man. The same texts would also expose and center that lack of restraint/how absurd it is to think a man could expect a woman to stay faithful to his old, wrinkly self (sometimes with the other implication that women, in general, could ever restrain themselves since women are the descendants of the seductive and mentally weak Eve) for the audience to laugh at and mock.

Alongside that, there was another idea/observation that a woman can't be totally blamed or should rebuke and reviled at all for not being faithful (usually a take or comment made by women). Her husband is just physically unattractive to her (his age) and she's bound to him until death, thus her looking elsewhere for a male, one she c/would actually choose if he were both wealthier and accessible-- if she weren't arranged by others into the marriage after years of social isolation. And there would be people in the crowd thinking so, too, medieval people are still a diverse thinking group of people.

But even this idea was still sometimes twisted into making the unfaithful young girl childish & irresponsibly unable to restrain her desires to fulfill her marital duties. Because women were already expected to reserve their sexual activities to their husbands even after death in some circumstances AND masculinity is no longer totally available to old men as it once was AND most of the poltical+economic power is still in his hands (thus the panic at being found out with another man).

The narrative's concern focused on the plight of the old man even as he's being portrayed as pathetic for his attempt at moving out of his own limits or not taking the implications of his age seriously enough in his pursuit of masculinity. Because masculinity is/as always much more valued than a young girl's sexuality/feminity.

The tension of competing masculinities within the context of marriage (which is meant to "seal" in resources and human behaviors) is made funny when the old man's masculinity is constantly negated while also naturalized. He has to find sexual enjoyment somewhere, his wife is desirable, and he must "protect" her, but it is a foregone ending. And what makes this a comedy is it's usually "back to the order" ending with the wife never being found out and the husband being none the wiser despite the hijinks OR coming into a nonunderstanding with her older tyrannically impotent husband to be faithful...but not really.

Diverging -> Comedy = "happy" ending; ends with a new/intact marriage or (re)union of some kind

Tragedy = sad ending; danger looming/an existential crisis ending in death, separation, dissolution of social bonds, or soul-crushing loss

Both of the genres' action comes from the flaws in an institution and/or MCs and ironic juxtapositions to create emphasis.

What does this have to do with Aegon, Though?

The senex amans means nothing without the social context of patriarchy and the exculpation of male foolishness. And Aegon's passivity is the element of demasculinization that I think he was also trying to win back in his attack against Rhaenyra. I write about that last part HERE (and no, I despise him--and not in a fun way like Aemond--so if it looks like I'm defending him, I'm not. I'm saying what I think HE feels.)

Aegon himself is a failure of any sort of leader because:

a) he never tries to be one, partially because he thinks it's already owed to him

b) every time he actually attempts ruling or winning at any confrontation, he either fucks it up for himself, has someone else do it for him because he himself can't bc he already fucked up before (having a betrayer cut Rhaenyra's breast and Sunfyre eats her instead of a battle) or cannot restrain that self-defeating anger (think him going into battle at Rook's Rest)...meanwhile they are blind to/choose to be blind to his decision to have "sex" w/12 yr olds, the years of Rhaenyra never haven been hateful towards him (in a text that hates her, this would be noted by Gyldayn, or Alicent would have at least spread and emphasized it to him and the court during his formative years). "Girl failure", "baby girl" "king".

But some viewers feel for him anyway bc:

a) the misogyny I already listed above in the first section

b) they feel Viserys should have loved him like he loved Rhaenyra and that he deserves that love and attention more than her by virtue of the fact that he is a man/his first male child and "true" heir that Viserys had been seeking

c) in HotD, he pleads with Alicent about how he doesn't want to be what they're pushing him to be when she finds him after he raped Dyana, which in some people's minds makes up for his rape (the evil person showed vulnerability so he deserves sympathy).

It is his comparatively larger passiveness and lack of ambition to Rhaenyra, Aemond, and even Daeron which makes his active decisions and actions seem like they don't matter. His canon patheticness and HotD vulnerability combined appear as if he were less responsible for his own actions than others are. It makes him seem a more passive player in his own life and people latch on to that.

He does not actually do anything in his youth (in the original story) worth mentioning and so the reporters/writers of F&B care to make note of him. They only take note of his drinking, crossness, and "fondling" servant women so it's set up how bad of a leader this guy would be. This is his defining trait!

Aemond does more in his youth by his claiming of Vhagar, the eye incident, his training with Criston, etc. Rhaenyra's life, we get from the moment she's born and we see/hear much more from her than Aegon with his life and marriage to Helaena. Even later, when he gets burned for the first time, he's put out of the story for a while for Aemond and Daeron to come back into the focus of the plot's action. So he appears like a person who is just here to enjoy his privileges and whatever comes his way like he's maybe carefree until his mother comes along to drag him into a war. (Untrue, but more on that later.)

The lack of really a deeper and wider scope of his interactions with Otto, Alicent, Helaena, and Aemond after episode 7 works to make the ones we do see the only ones that "matter" to pin down the relationship dynamics and how Aegon sees himself, but because we get nothing of his treatment or relationship with Helaena and how he justifies being away from his children. Little character development except for the most passionate moments or pathetic moments equals real characterization when you're deprived of a look into the character's "everyday" persona.

It's then easier to see him as more of a victim and a sincere "baby girl" when we see him almost cry at Alicent's castigation in episode 6....yes even as one remembers that he's naked from his just-rape of a much more helpless young servant girl. Right above the bed where she was raped.

HotD really incentivizes the idea of his lack of real accountability when we get nothing else about his interactions with Helaena or his kids, or how he preys on those servants. We don't get to see Aegon by himself or what he chooses to do when no one is there to use their authority against him aside from encouraging his nephews to bully his brother and calling his brother a twat. We see Aegon and all the characters, really having highly intense moments and not the moments of buildup or setup to them, so we are harder-pressed to trace the development, not those high, intense moments of culmination. Aegon thus, gets an easier pass because we don't really see him at his "rest" stage nor the transition into and out of that stage.

d) Otto pushes him around to comport himself at Laena's funeral and not embarrass him and his efforts at presenting him as a dignified heir candidate, totally leaving out any sort of desire to find out why he acts the way he does. And Otto does not seem to care much for any of his grandkids (even with Helaena, he's condescending, not actually engaged with her....yet no one ever mentions this, hmmm) beyond his plans for them.

And Alicent, as her fans and nonfans say, has herself been sexualized and sexually abused before and during her marriage to Viserys into not being able to emotionally connect with her kids as much as if she hadn't been for this same man's ambitions. Aside from Aegon just being insufferable, their relationship is further strained and she's impatient and crosses some boundaries with him because of that strain and history. Because she sees him as making all her own suffering seem worthless/pointless. So the sympathy for her also translates to sympathy for his having to deal/not deal with that, which would be fine...except for what else we know of him.

From Otto's disinterest/abuse, Viserys' comparative disinterest, and Alicent's desperate abuse, some fans feel that he's a victim for being pushed towards the throne through a lie and illusion of danger (the "promise of a young man's life 'wasted' ") after a lifetime of emotional neglect and exploitation -- that Rhaenyra would kill him, Alicent, and the rest of them if he didn't take the throne.

Or if they actually think that either Daemon or Rhaenyra would inevitably target him if he hadn't come into power and opposed them--that Alicent "had a point".

Either way, they also feel bad for him being pushed into a dangerous position without actually ever wanting or pursuing it. That because he didn't want it, he didn't deserve the burns, deaths, and year-long convalescence, that comes from his entering the war at all.

While yes, our parents and those who raise us are far likelier to pass on their habits to their charges (worsening the character their kids build later by letting them get away with stuff), that person is never just a wooden board receiving hit after hit. They have a brain and the ability to observe, think, feel, and compare. Aegon (book and show) simply chooses not to pursue anything beyond himself.

*EDIT this one paragraph* (12/5/23): He didn't want kingship at first (and I am sorta amending some statements of the past but also not) but he always wanted power comes with the removal of accountability and he comes to see kingship as the only his mode towards that anyway. Both in the book and show. To reiterate, he wants to be treated as if he's a big deal and comes to see kingship as the only way to be treated as the biggest deal...without having to cater to anyone else's needs or perform altruist policies bc this is the antithesis of what he wants. He thus ignores others' boundaries. And this circle of abuse further makes him lend more of that helpless image. Think Roderick Usher of the The Fall of the House of Usher tv show.

This is where I could see why people would feel bad for him...but he is a rapist both in the show and book and even if you were abused/raped, it doesn't stop your act of rape from being rape and it doesn't stop the internal patriarchal entitlement to rape from existing and being self-evident in the rape. His raping also gets ignored because some think that his "fondling" of women is not "serious" or never happened.

Or if they believe it "serious" and have happened, it doesn't occur to them that Aegon would rape someone because they assume that he has a higher moral code than he actually does...because they feel that Viserys ignoring him/near "motherlessness" somehow automatically makes him a victim.

If one is a victim, one cannot criticize their evil or questionable actions and thus cannot confront and acknowledge their wrongdoing, and victims automatically know to not victimize, therefore he couldn't have victimized anyone.....

e) Many people have been abused by those who are supposed to care for them or have felt completely powerless and trapped in familial cycles of trauma....so they feel they see themselves in Aegon more than in Rhaenyra, who actively finds partners in Harwin, Daemon, Laena, and maybe even Laenor, built her own family, and has more of Viserys' attention and regard. However, Rhaenyra also has traumas, Viserys also disables her from accruing power where it most matters, and has had to face Alicent's censure and targeted attacks for years, whether in book or show and would have felt helplessness in being a woman, lost her mother to at a very young age. Her abuse and traumas do not matter because she tries to fight back or she does so by going directly against the traditional mores of womanhood that create those foundations of abuse and emotional neglect she is rejecting in the first place.

Because they can't relate to her (or think so) and she is not suffering like how they want her to, Rhaenyra's resistance becomes a flaw rather than something to admire. HotD Alicent's suffering is much more appealing and Book!+show!Alicent's internalized misogyny doesn't really challenge them to look beyond their/her own suffering from patriarchy, so sometimes it feels like they are actually participating in denying patriarchy. Aegon, like show!Alicent, is a more passive but seemingly helpless victim of his demasculinization. Perfect vs imperfect victimhood, it's also described pretty concisely and perfectly by la-pheacienne HERE. And the blackqveen talks about the projection of suffering HERE.

#aegon ii #asoiaf asks to me #fandom misogyny #fandom critical #fandom commentary #perfect victim post #aegon ii's characterization #fire and blood characters #hotd characterization #hotd #fire and blood

[septembersghost]

sorry this is a reply to your reply but the "PR" thing is so frustrating and freaking annoying to me, that's not how people or relationships work and for some reason this little sect of people have an obsession with making Taylor (and Harry in this case) into a liar about everything and pretending that meaningful connections and love she had and experienced wasn't important or real. like??? it's so insulting to her as an artist and as a human being. it makes me fume that so-called fans won't believe her or listen to her when she shares her experiences

it is rage-inducing, and i think it's gotten much worse with the rise of a bad conspiracy theory pocket of fandom on social media (the clock app definitely feeding into it), but it's obnoxious (and quite concerning for certain other reasons). it's not limited to her past, either, it gets pasted onto her current life and truth and relationship too, but that's a whole other disconcerting topic. there are seemingly people who cannot handle her honesty, be that in joy and stability or grief and insecurity. (plus the very retrograde "she's pathetic for openly loving her partner and letting him participate" thing which is bonkers.) we saw a bit of it even with response to red and "why does she still let this emotionally impact her? ew" as if those heartbreaks and wounds - particularly when they happen at such a pivotal age - don't continue to shape us, or as if regaining ownership of her work is somehow negative and dwelling on it rather than it being a reclamation, which i wrote about the other night.

with regards to the past, it's just so boggling because, as that post said, there was literally zero benefit. she was shamed and ridiculed and painted as an evil maneating user, and the pain and frustration of what that did to her isn't only all over 1989 and the repercussions it had on her with him specifically at the time, but it continued to affect her to the point where the anxiety of that cruel unforgiving lens from the press is all over the work and her sense of self and approach that follows it too (rep having very obvious themes about this, but it's also present in things like peace and the lakes etc). i was just talking to @cowboylikedean about how i think the profound impact they had on one another not only personally, but also career-wise, is often overlooked. it's scattered across the art which grew out of it, and shaped a lot of the diverging paths that led to where they separately are as artists. we got even more insight into that with things like message in a bottle (it's a cute pop bop, but it's also so huge in the healing process of red), and then the old songs of his that leaked in april. it was on again/off again for quite a while, and an aspect of that was definitely more fun and casual in contrast to the anxiety and yearning, but there was true significance and connection there too (and both of their respective approaches to love and relationships come into play and juxtapose).

it's weird behavior to try and act like the art they created that was clearly inspired by each other's presences isn't true and valuable in the course of their journeys. taylor spoke so much about the fragility and beauty of that at the time, despite the anxiety and desperation to protect it, and harry has always framed it with grace and tenderness (which doesn't necessarily mean softness, loss and jealousy are tender to the touch too). it's not like we don't have their direct words on this. also, as zoë mentioned to me, she helped teach him to play guitar, to write a song. it's formative. i said not only was taylor a muse, she was a guide, and it's rare to embody both. the extended back and forth may have been exciting at times and difficult at others, but their mutual impact on their craft and the way that breathes in the music that was written is an irreplaceable thing. i don't know why anyone would want to undermine it when reality is much more human and bittersweet and touching. (alexa play this love tv on repeat)

#anonymous #letterbox #haylor #not putting this in their individual tags so that's where i'm sticking it #idk if this makes sense i'm too tired for words #but yeah i'm with you completely anon #the fixation on framing her as a liar when she's as honest and vulnerable as she can be #gets to a point where it's disrespectful of her humanity and her artistic voice and how willing she is to lay things bare

[daisys-reality]

hello daisy

I was wondering to see if you could maybe give me a reading on my shifting journey for me plz

what I want from this reading is some random messages that I need to hear that is super important for my journey that is from both my spirit guides & from my higher self

also maybe ask them to see what I should do on my journey bc I don't really know what to do tbh to finally shift bc so far I havent yet & it's confusing me & kinda frustrating me ngl

just want my 1st shift to happen already man

you can ignore this btw if you don't do readings for other ppl lmfao

Hello @lilshiftingqueen 😊🌸 I don't mind doing personal reading requests, it is just a matter of time for me. And I have some free time right now to do your reading! Remember to just take from the reading what resonates and to leave what doesn't. No matter what I get in this reading, at the end of the day you will always be the one who decides what will happen, okay? So without further ado, let's get right into it...

[ MAIN MESSAGES ]

This is an ending which you’re going through. But instead of leaving you deeply wounded and in pain while embarking on your new journey, you’re meant to recover and regenerate while going through this as well. A situation that has been troubling you is in the process of coming to an end. Afterwards, you will be able to breathe a sigh of relief. Once the challenging times are behind you, you can finally move on and go through this door step and leave everything behind. It’s important to fully let go at this juncture. If you’re carrying any baggage from the past, now is the time to hand it over to your ‘angels’. Do not resist an inevitable end. You may soon be free of your addictions/codependency issues. Learn to laugh at your problems.    

There is something about a relationship. It could be about the relationship of you and your DR s/o (if you have someone) but it feels more like it’s about your relationship with yourself, the universe, your shifting journey (with your DR/CR). There is some imbalance in this relationship, a lack of harmony. This relationship needs to move into a deeper, more meaningful phase. There are two main messages here: 1) Do not give up on a relationship that feels challenging to you; there is still hope! Relationships that don’t feel harmonious at this time will heal, and you should continue to pursue them. 2) Love yourself first before showing it to others, otherwise, you will never realize your self worth. // Usually a  relationship grows closer and stronger as both parties fall in love. This relationship has the potential to deepen into a very powerful and spiritual connection. Mutual respect and understanding needs to exist or needs to be developed. If this is about your relationship with yourself and your personal journey, then fall in love with yourself and develop respect and understanding for yourself. There might also be broken communication with yourself (like ignoring your needs etc.), try to work on this, listen to yourself and your own inner universe. It will be worth it.

Clouds sometimes block out the sun and the light of truth. Certain things are hidden and this lack of clarity causes doubts and confusion, the vagueness creates misunderstandings and mental stress. At this time, you might feel lost. Ask yourself what doubts you have and where in your life are misunderstandings. Think about how you can be more direct (in your approach). Doubts will probably prevail because something is being hidden from you but try to pin down the details and clear your mind (- like for ex. go back to the basics, the most simple approach). It’s time to learn and grow along the journey. Get ready for the next step in your life.

[ ADDITIONAL SHORT MESSAGES & ADVICE ]

++ Meditate, contemplate and re-evalue. Be careful of boredom/lack of interest and disconnectedness. Become aware, choose happiness for yourself and accept it!

++ Follow values that have a traditional or spiritual aspect. Seek stability and commitment instead of breaking laws and taking risks. Stick to your daily spiritual routines and take a ‘tried and tested’ route. Discover who you are and find the spiritual connection to yourself. You are blessed.

++ ❝ This is not 'predictable' . ❞

++ ❝ What will be, will be. - Let life come to you. Most of the time, things turn out just the way they should in the best way possible, without us having to influence them. ❞

++ ❝ Doubts are natural. They won’t stop it. - It will happen even while you have doubts. ❞

++ The Angel Numbers 52 and 25 could hold other useful messages for you. Feel free to check them out as well ! The picture below is from one of the main cards I got for your reading, I felt the need to show it to you too. It's showing your transition, don't you think so too? It will happen, don't worry. 🩷🍀

#shifting #shiftblr #shifting community #reality shifting #free tarot #tarot reading #request #t.asks