#and why would you use a PR post to complain about your life

[monzabee]

mr. big (social media au) - cs55

masterlist ||

Summary: The one where there he was, wearing armani on a sunday, your boyfriend, Carlos.

Pairing: carlos sainz x romance writer!reader (model used: random people i found on pinterest)

Warnings: none other than some cursing? carlos being an old money dream as always

Request: "For a smau, would love to see romance writer!reader with Carlos (he is just Disney prince vibes) where fans aren’t quite sure how they got together but the influence him on her work is greatly appreciated" by my lovely @percervall

Author note: OKAY JUST REALISED I AM A CARRIE AND BIG APOLOGIST, WHO WOULD'VE THOUGHT (i might be freaking out about them, but i will always be a charlotte girl)!!! (might honestly turn it into a series because who doesn't love a satc x old money crossover???)

Please also note that all of my works are protected under copyright, and not available for reposting on other platforms.

yourusername

Liked by carlossainz55, yourbestfriend, readersdigest and 438,927 others.

yourusername: busy, busy, busy bee.

user: thank you mother for feeding us with another hot billionaire novel

yourusername: you are more than welcome

user: how is she not only one of the best romance authors, but also a fashion icon??

user: can't wait to read what carlos inspired this time!!

carlossainz55: you are not wearing you glasses again, cariño

yourusername: why don't you come put them on yourself??

user: oh, they are so cute it's sickening

user: GIVE US THE MANUSCRIPT AND END OUR SUFFERING

view all 2,387 comments.

user: how did they get together again??

user: i think he ran into her at one of her book signings in madrid?

user: i thought it was when she went to the paddock for some good old r&d?

user: i heard somewhere that a friend set them up

yourusername posted a new story!

carlossainz55 posted a story!

yourusername

Liked by carlossainz55, landonorris, goodreads and 682,928 others.

yourusername: life lately & "between love and loathing" out june 23rd.

user: we love the romantic getaway, and a new book!!

user: we're being fed in more ways than one, and i am not complaining at all!!

user: oh shit, we're about to read the best romance novel of all time

view all 13,726 comments.

carlossainz55: i'm so proud of you, you have no idea

yourusername: way to make me cry

yourusername: i love you though

carlossainz55: te quiero más

user: I CAN'T BELIEVE THEY ARE THE OLD MONEY COUPLE WE NEEDED ALL ALONG AND WE DON'T KNOW HOW THEY STARTED DATING

user: it will remain forever a mystery

user: but at least we have content to keep us going through these hard times

carlossainz55

Liked by yourusername, scuderiaferrari, charles_leclerc and 977,520 others.

carlossainz55: one of us made the pancakes, and one of us stood there looking pretty.

yourusername: hey, it was your turn to make breakfast

carlossainz55: and i loved every second of it

yourusername: even doing the dishes?

carlossainz55: especially doing the dishes

user: this is by far the most romance book thing this man has done

user: i still don't understand how they started dating, but good for them i guess

view all 35,726 comments.

landonorris: hey, i didn't get any pancakes, did you? @charles_leclerc

charles_leclerc: didn't even know we were having pancakes, where are our pancakes @carlossainz55

landonorris: and cooking in a towel?? how is that sanitary??

charles_leclerc: he's breaking at least a dozen health codes

carlossainz55: i hate you both

yourusername: you are all a pr nightmare

scuderiaferrari: i agree

user: damn he got lucky

yourusername

Liked by f1wagss, carlossainz55, sarahjessicaparker and 736,928 others.

yourusername: and there he was, wearing armani on a sunday, carlos sainz.

user: SHUT UP!!! SHUT THE FUCK UP!!

user: what kind of an iconic cunt slay is this

user: and just like that... they became the coolest couple on the internet

user: NEW NOVEL IDEA, SEX AND THE CITY RETELL WITH CARLOS

user: girl wtf

yourusername: no let her cook

yourusername: you might be onto something here

user: don't know if i want to be her or be carlos

view all 44,736 comments.

user: everybody say thank you mom for blessing us

carlossainz55: amor

yourusername: amor x2

user: oh she's working overtime god bless you

#monzabee #formula 1 x reader #social media au #f1 social media au #f1 fanfic #f1 fanfiction #f1 x reader #carlos sainz #carlos sainz x reader #carlos sainz imagine #formula one x reader #carlos sainz social media au

[ingravinoveritas]

Firstly i dont think she adjusted since moving to the UK what do u think?

And secondly this post feels that its all about her again like and the character is based on her in real life but the project was longed talk about in 2017 as michael said on the Graham norton show to which michael was with Sarah at that point. It's again trying to be the centre of attention again and stay irrelevant just cos she not getting it from michael

What ur thoughts on this recent of post of Al

So, apologies that it took me all week to answer this--I feel like the entirety of the month of February has just caught up with me, which essentially feels like a lot of tiredness hitting all at once.

I did see this on Monday, however, and I just...am again at something of a loss. I got a bit down on myself over my response to her Insta story from the first preview of Nye and thinking I was overreacting/reading too much into things...and then this happens.

The first thing I would say is that I agree with you that AL is making it all about her again. The post itself comes across as PR, which it likely was because Georgia also shared the same clip that day--albeit with a caption that was actually about Michael/centered on the show. And the contrast becomes even more stark when you look at this post from Caroline Sheen. Caroline is Michael's cousin and she had a small role in The Way, and her post is much more personal and essentially what you would expect from someone who is close to someone in the production. Which subsequently makes AL's post look even more like PR in comparison.

But I think what irritates me the most about Anna's post is that it's yet another instance of her making a dig at Wales. Talking of patterns as I tend to do, she did this previously in September of last year (the #FromManhattantoTonypandy hashtag), and in both of these cases it's her reminding everyone of where she lived before, and likely where she still wishes she lived. In thinking of your initial question, AL may have adjusted to Wales in some ways, but it's clearly not where she belongs or thinks she belongs. I've written previously on my blog about her likely thinking she would be living the celebrity life in New York or London, and Wales was almost certainly a place she didn't even know existed until Michael. So this entire post feels like it's tinged with passive-aggressive resentment as a result.

Let me be clear: In no way do I think that moving to a new country is an easy thing, and it is more than understandable that someone might not love every single thing about the place in which they live, especially if they are an outsider coming from a completely different culture. But the thing is, The Way is literally about Wales. It is entirely focused on Welsh identity and history, and it is a project into which Michael has poured a tremendous amount of his passion and energy and time, which speaks to what you mentioned about him talking about this since 2017.

Why, then, would you make such a snarky comment on a post promoting a show so centered on Wales? That your own partner directed, no less? At best, it comes across as thoughtless and self-centered, and at worst, as deliberately disrespectful.

I can also fully understand why Michael put out a tweet of his own promoting the second episode less than an hour after Anna posted that story. If we are to say that Georgia is a good representative for David on social media--which she arguably is, most of the time--then Anna, by contrast, is the worst possible representative for Michael. And a post like the one above only further highlights how mismatched and wrong for each other they truly are. I also think it's pained him to refrain from tweeting for this long, and now he finally has a reason to start again, for which both we and Michael can be thankful.

So yes, those are my thoughts on AL's story from earlier this week. Glad to hear from my followers as well about your reactions to this. Thank you for writing in! x

#angel19924 #reply post #michael sheen #welsh seduction machine #the way #trying to provide a balanced perspective #but what's the old saying: when someone shows you who they are believe them the first time #choices #not all of them good #also does she really expect us to believe there is no coffee anywhere in Wales #and why would you use a PR post to complain about your life #i can't #but i will leave it to my followers to make up their own minds #anna lundberg #discourse

[icypopz]

caught in 4k ♡

↬ request from anon ; I love your writing for blue lock and i was wondering if you could write a Rin x actress reader when they're adults and they get caught by the media somehow. ↬ notes ; itoshi rin x gn reader ↬ from ice ; pretends like i haven't been gone for months... anyways here's my grand comeback that literally no one asked for but this req was so cute i rlly wanted to write it 🥹 hope u enjoy ! ↬ warning(s) ; none

please reblog w comments ! it helps a lot :)

itoshi rin has always been a private person. he rarely shares anecdotes from his life with his friends, let alone the paparazzi. his fans constantly complain that they're starved for content, because despite the fact that he's one of the most famous football players in the world, he somehow manages to keep his schedule entirely under wraps and often downright refuses to do interviews. (the only way to get him on camera is to invite him for a joint interview with sae.)

his tendency to keep his personal life a secret is exactly why it comes as such a shock when it's revealed that he's dating you.

actually, 'revealed' is the wrong word to use when in reality, the both of you were spotted leaving a popular restaurant together by a pesky journalist. he snapped pictures of rin holding your hand, offering you his jacket, opening the car door for you... and the next morning they were all over the internet, splashed across the front page of all the major news websites. #itoshi rin is in a relationship?! was the number one trending topic for days.

the amount of attention showered upon the two of you is actually unsurprising, considering how you've been at the peak of fame ever since you recently took on a role that went viral. pair that with the fact that you're dating the most mysterious football player? it's a miracle they didn't hear about it in space! both your fanbases were gushing about how adorable you are together and they're always eager for crumbs of interaction between you two in public.

in private, rin groans and grumbles about how annoying it is to have a spotlight shining on your dating life, but he's secretly happy that you both don't have to hide your relationship anymore now that it's out in the open. he likes the idea that everyone knows he's yours, and you're his.

in public, he's as aloof and cold as ever to every enthusiastic interviewer that dares cross his path. the only time he visibly softens is when they mention you, and a hint of a smile will curve his lips. rin gets angry if they even imply that you're leeching off his fame, or you're a gold-digger, or you're trying to get close to his brother through him - he never fails to set the record straight immediately. the two of you love each other, and maybe these journalists' time would be better spent trying to find someone to love them instead of trying to ruin someone else's relationship. (his pr manager is at her wits' end).

overall, rin is not too bothered by the fact that your relationship ended up becoming public knowledge. of course he would have preferred it to be on both of your terms, but now that it's happened he just rolls with it. as long as you're happy, he's happy.

help i swear i'll be active now HAHAHA i won't disappear for a year again ,,, and btw i cannot believe my last post was over a year ago tf

✧ thank you for reading ! if you have a request, feel free to send it in 🌠 © icypopz 2023. do not repost or modify in any way.

#[ my writing — ! ] #[ blue lock — ! ] #blue lock x reader #bllk x reader #itoshi rin x reader #rin itoshi x reader #blue lock fluff #itoshi rin fluff #itoshi rin x you #itoshi rin #blue lock

[papirouge]

The good samaritan complex, projection, and how to *not*throw stones while living in a house made of glass - a study

You mean, the same fragility as pro choicers calling pregnancy "torture" and saying that stating the biological & logical reality that restraining from sex resolves from unwanted pregnant is "victim blaming"?

"Because they'll [pro choicers] sit there and reblog the most horrendous things- about how pro lifers are like rapists, describing the most grueling case of pedophilia/rape, characterizing pro lifers as pro rape, "forced birhters", as nazis, as callous, heartless mysognists. They'll spread misinformation and lies, while ignoring anything that would contradict them or add nuance to their views. Shrug off the suffering of anyone who's the usual scapegoat of of abortion culture -such as disabled, poor people, or child from rape- without even a hint of empathy."

Wow, crazy how well it works the other way around. So what's your point OP? why don't you have the same energy to call out this inquisitive behavior only to pro lifers when the same behavior can be found among your kin.

And sorry to burst your bubble, but abortion DOES murder a baby, so by definition, abortion are "baby murderers" ; I don't get why some you are so bothered by this statement. As harsh as it, it's technically true.

Note here how OP acknowledges that pro lifers are attacked over beliefs, and is complaining about the hypocrisy of freaking out at having a tease of their own medecine, but NOWHERE does she adresses the issue of.....attacking people over beliefs? I mean, that's seemingly what she was complaining about in the previous paragraph. Maybe don't give pro lifers any ground for them to "victimize" themselves by attacking themselves in the first place, I- ?? Why complaining about something you admit partially being responsible of?

Oh and peep the euphemism of "not so civil"; Girl, there's been literally death & rape threats and bullying. Some people out there are mentally ill/suicidal so we should thread lightly with this kYs🤪 crappy trolling. You being wishy washy to call it for what is it prove how dishonest you are lol

It's not a "feeling". Either pro lifers are attacked, or they're not.

Note the subtly attempt at using "feeling" as if none of the attacks prolifers were complai- excuse me, victimizing themselves over weren't really true and were rather up of their "feeling". Typical EMOTIONALISM ("feelings") tactics that is familiar with abortionists.

Yeah I know you OP (I hid your username as I always do to not cause any bullying). I remember you latching onto one of my pro life post to put out the stale already seen 1000 times before pro choicer word salad talking points, and then a bunch of abortionist minions leeches went with the flow to diss and clown me - while acting they were threatened by a random post from the internet.

Funny enough how you suddenly didn't care about the "most horrendous things" being thrown at me right in the notifications of your reblogs. And no, I don't victimize myself because it pretty unphased me (I am blocking happy), but I can't with your hypocrisy of professing this kumbaya gospel while you actually don't do shit when these "horrendous things" are happening right at your door.

Oh and I also remember how you couldn't help yourself to say how "nice" you were and pull out that branding of the "nice and understanding" pro choicer. Your image seems very important to you huh? But you're not fooling anyone. Because being "nice" (which isn't really true, because advocating for murder of unborn isnt "nice" IMO) isn't mutually excluse to be offensive.

Your condescendance & disdain is dripping from your whole post. "have been trained to not try to learn" Ah yes, because prolifers HAVE to be uneducated idiots who *need* the Truth of pro choicer Gospel.... *Fun fact: I was initially pro choice, but that's when I started seeking into what abortion was and the reality of the abortion industry that I became pro life :)* Do I need to be reeducated?

Calling us "ignorant" "insulated to their echo chambers" actually makes you no different from the same people you're criticizing a few paragraph before....yet feel somehow different from. Not using big words and slurs still make you as mean spirited and antagonist, so don't pretend being morally superior at this game. You're not a bigger person for remaining civil with pro lifers ; plentiful of pro lifers are super chill too. It doesn't protect them for being hurled slurs and harassment. No one is going to give you a cookie for not being deranged on main like some abortionists are. That's called being NORMAL.

Here again talking about "feelings" or "instincts". Note how OP is obsessively trying to alienize any logic or reasoning behind the pro life stance. How anymore condescending someone could be?

Pro lifers do not always rely on "feelings" to make their point. Science states that life starts at conception. BY DEFINITION A fetus isn't a parasite, but HUMAN. Pregnancy death are lowering 0% in most developped countries, yet almost all pro choicers obsessively argue that pregnancy is deadly and dangerous to defend abortion, which goes againt actual OBJECTIVE REALITY. THIS is literally documented. Won't you learn? Won't you listen?

As annoying and stupid some prolifers can be (yeah cause unlike OP I have no issue to acknowledge there are pos on BOTH sides of the spectrum) you can't deny this cold hard reality, that's why you will weep and weep about how hard & dangerous pregnancy is and make posts to bitch about pro lifers, when the crux of the whole discourse is unborn HUMANS being murdered for convenience - whether you accept it or not. The shitty behavior of prolifers will NOT erase that; don't get it twisted.

Your "annoyance" <<<< the life of the unborn.

#this has to be the most delusional and condescending post I have seen since a while #like- the projection is HUGE on this one #pro life #papi watch #abortion

[talkingwoman]

Disbelief, disappointment, resignation...

Just a few moments ago, I re-posted the text I wrote the day Elizabeth and Armie jointly and quite amicably announced the ending of their marriage. I posited that for better or worse, we would discover whether the belief in the Armie/Timmy ship was, like the profoundly wished for sequel to CMBYN, in fact a mirage, a chimera born of heated imagination, fan fictions, and yearning for romantic beauty. As often happens when I post something contrary to the prevailing beliefs in the fandom, the response was crickets. Turns out I may have been prescient, but this is not about a "Toldja so!!" moment. Rather, this post is like my stages of grief, as yet incomplete.

When Armie embarked on his parade of liaisons with young, yet publicly active and recognizable women, I questioned the move, but could never have imagined the shitstorm that descended as women complained vociferously about his sexual and emotional treatment of them. What happened next was swift and merciless. Crisis management researchers may use Armie's experience as a case study someday, but the finstas, DMS, and other messages central to the events are probably too raunchy for academic texts. Certainly his flat denial of any wrongdoing strategy failed dismally. Throughout the cascading losses of agents, film, tv, and stage contracts, I kept waiting for someone, ultimately anyone, to speak in defense of Armie. Most particularly I was stunned by the silence from Timmy, Luca, and others I had foolishly believed would publicly support a colleague, let alone friend or lover, who was enduring such attacks. Well, forget that. I literally could not believe no one came forward, but having stumbled down the Charmie trail, I couldn't understand why even a very simple line like, "Talented actor and scene partner. Loved working with him. I don't comment on anyone's private life." was not forthcoming. Mostly, I couldn't believe Timmy would display such public indifference. Saddening. Hurtful, whether intentional or not (see? I'm still making excuses for Timmy,)

In the ensuing years, Timmy gave three interviews to major media outlets. To say that I was disappointed that he dismissed the question posed by Time, as "worthy of a larger discussion" and said nada, zilch, nothing remotely supportive of the guy he once called his brother, role model, etc. is a massive understatement. In his second "Woodstock" interview with GQ he not only took pains to address rumors that his relationship with a woman he loved (his words), LRD, was a PR sham, but also failed once again to affirm his onetime friend and mentor, Armie, was a part of the "making and re-making of Timmy" that the article focused on. Well, he didn't credit Luca G. or James I. either, but they were not twisting in the wind like a bashed in dollar store pinata. Loyalty counts, even in the often cynical world of entertainment, right? Not so much, maybe.

Between the second and third GQ interviews, the AirMail interview Armie collaborated on appeared, and while that piece was gravely flawed and quickly vanished, it was another missed opportunity for Timmy or anyone else to speak consoling, compassionate words for a guy embarking on his addiction recovery journey. Not gonna happen. The most recent installment of the GQ articles should not have surprised me, but it's surely clear by now that for all my bluster I am not free of my gullible Charmie predilections. Timmy had every opportunity to say something kind, even in a dismissive mode, like, "aw, dude, ancient history. total mess for anyone to endure." about the scandal. Surely he and his team had prepared for this. What came out in the article was enigmatic in the extreme. "I don't know...it was..disorienting is a good word." Is that it? It's Timmy's world and Armie is exiled forever?

OK, I give. You, Timmy, owe me, your fans, and Armie nothing by way of explanation. Whatever you think or believe is your business. Having reluctantly accepted your continued behavior as personal agency in this matter, it is my problem and mine alone that I perceive it as a bitter betrayal of that gorgeous man who instead of showing resentment that he was not also Oscar nominated, gave you that momentous, loving push toward the snapping cameras and said "now, go shine, shine, shine". How long ago and far away that seems today.

And yet, it was there before my own eyes in this GQ article. Indisputable, maybe inadvertent revelation about the state of the Timmy/Armie ship came with the discussion of the fishy coincidence of the Bones and All announcement less than two weeks after the cannibalism stories erupted. What were the chances, Timmy questioned? What is immediately clear is that neither he nor Luca was in touch with Armie at all. When there is even a casual friendship between actors they talk about projects they are pursuing, engaged, and don't forget, co-producing. If there was any contact Armie would already have known. But check Timmy's reaction. Did he say, "I needed to let my friend know there was no evil intent in our announcement." Instead, he felt he HAD to do the project b/c it came from a book rather than someone's social media nightmare. Still, the cannibalism/Armie/Bones and All discussions endured and some would argue were exploited through to the premiere and even into awards season, with Dakota Johnson's snarky joke at Armie's expense when introducing Luca at a banquet. That's what friends are for, yeah?

The mirage seemed real. Sometimes I still flail, but time and circumstance continue to pile on evidence to the contrary. That does not make me happy AT ALL.

#heartsandparts

#mystery of charmie #@alittlefrenchtree #all about armie hammer #as-long-as-there-is-thinking

[its-a-swift-kloss]

I get people are upset and everything but Taylor has been loudly telegraphing that this was something that was going to happen since the day after the VMAs with the tabloid articles that Taylor started having Tree push in response to the original rumor. It's not Taylor's fault that everyone stuck their fingers in their ears and refused to listen.

Taylor's finally got Swifties genuinely interested in 1989 TV again for longer than an hour or two by getting this new boy-toy, that's a fantastic thing after how boring and uninteresting everything else she tried to do to keep her mainstream fans interested in it since the announcement was, and as a bonus she might even end up getting sales from people who've never bought her music before.

No matter how anyone on our side of the fandom tries to pretend, this was a great business move from Taylor and could end up being just as useful for promoting her stuff for awhile down the line if she plays her cards with this beard right. And if anyone on this side of the fandom other than me bothered to read the articles about this that Taylor had Tree push, you guys would know that Taylor isn't being a bad role-model for promoting the idea that guys should ignore "No's" from women because if they try enough times they'll eventually get a "Yes", that was literally never part of the narrative for this beard at any time and is just something that some butt-hurt loser completely made up.

If Taylor wants to beard with some macho dude-bro sports guy then that's her right, and the only person who has any right to voice any objection about it is Karlie. If Karlie is fine with it then it sucks to be everyone else, Taylor has the right to live her life the way she wants and if that bothers Gaylors and some Kaylors because it not what they wanted from her then tough fucking titties.

Yes, anon, beards are beneficial. They get attention from ppl outside your fanbase. They increase numbers. They'll boost sales of whatever it is that one's selling. That's a thing, and we've seen it a million little times. We all know how it works and why celebs do it. You're preaching to the choir. I don't think ppl are all that surprised, as they are annoyed - at least as far as I've been seeing. Taylor does whatever she wants, it's her life. You won't hear me saying otherwise.

About his insistence... well, you see, he did say he tried to talk to her at the concert and was told she doesn't talk to anyone, which is a lie bc she does meet ppl and talk to them. From the top of my head, see Jessica Chastain with Taylor backstage in Mexico. So he went somewhere (I think a podcast) and complained about it a little, about how they told him she had to preserve her voice or whatever excuse they made up. Then, he went to say he threw the ball in her court and invited her to his game, implying he did reach out to her somehow after being rejected with a polite "no, sir, you can't speak to her". Honestly? I see the point of people's complaints. I myself didn't post anything about it, but, yeah, it does enforce problematic behavior a little bit. Not the worst thing her PR has ever done, sadly.

#but honestly anon why are we having this conversation?? your mind is already made up about tumblr 🤷‍♀️

[luxshine]

I posted 1,680 times in 2022

That's 303 more posts than 2021!

860 posts created (51%)

820 posts reblogged (49%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@drifting-pieces-blog-blog

@ragnell

@lunaresystem

@enigmatist17

@stealth-liberal

I tagged 898 of my posts in 2022

Only 47% of my posts had no tags

#amigurumi - 280 posts

#murphysplushtrips - 279 posts

#murphysplush - 273 posts

#yarncraft - 215 posts

#moon knight - 174 posts

#sdcc2022 - 74 posts

#cats - 74 posts

#webcomic - 70 posts

#yarncrafts - 62 posts

#building blocks - 61 posts

Longest Tag: 93 characters

#as she complained about her status as a glorified cameo and wanted byrne back on her pencils.

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

Queerbaiting in real life -and it's not what you think it is.

So this is no longer 2 cents. This is a whole dollar because I am sick and tired of certain parts of the fandom discourse re: what happened with Misha. Because I KEEP reading people having to "forgive" (or, conversely "hating") Misha for "queerbaiting" us and In the wise words of Inigo Montoya: You keep using that word, it doesn't mean what you think it means.

(Once again, YOUR feelings about the situation ARE valid, yes. You have the absolute right to feel hurt over everything that happened. BUT I also urge you to consider WHY are you hurt, and WHO hurt you. Especially given the horrible biphobia that the fandom showed even BEFORE Misha spoke up)

Queerbaiting is, at its core, "the practice of implying non-straight relationships or attraction to engage or attract an LGBTQ audience or otherwise generate interest without ever actually depicting such relationships or sexual interactions". Which means that no, a real person can't "queerbait" because come on, do we want everyone to parade their private lives around all the time? (This is even HARDER for say, a bi person. I mean, are we REALLY going to start asking for queer credentials and demand every bi person is in a poly relationship with partners of more than one gender just to prove they're bi? WTF people!)

More importantly, what kind of benefit would this weekend have? No one sold tickets "so you could hear the most incredible secret of Misha's life", and while Stands did send that mail about the pins and everything... well, if everything HAD been a pr move, don't you think it would've lasted MORE than three days? I mean, at least until SOMEONE bought something and couldn't take the order back!

And besides... We, society, know EXACTLY what "RL" queerbaiting looks like. And yes, the younger members of fandom may not know about this, but I side eye any 30 + year old Queer who ignores this.

Allow me to introduce you to t.A.T.u:

This video? Was SO SHOCKING in 2002 that the UK wanted to forbid it world wide.

t.A.T.u was a Russian (YES, I know) girlband formed by Lena Katina and Julia Volkova in 2001, when both girls were 15. They came from a children's music group named Neposedy and had been scouted specifically by producer and director Ivan Shapovalov in order to fulfill a very curious concept he had.

The name of the group (usually pronounced Tattoo) comes from the phrase Та любит ту (ta lyubit tu) which literally means "This girl loves that girl" so... yeah, the concept was VERY Clear if you add the video up there, right?

And I mean it, there was NO official image of these two that was not dripping with sapphic longing

See the full post

108 notes - Posted April 27, 2022

#4

I can't sleep, so hey, my .2 cents on what happened.

First, disclaimer: I am a cis-bisexual woman who was lucky enough to be born to two very open minded parents (and, ironically a match made in homophobic heaven. My dad was gay, and only married because he wanted kids and he didn't want to come out to his mother, My mom is a lesbian who, up until three years ago, was in the most transparent closet in the universe and ALSO married just because she wanted children and didn't want to come out to her family, AND the other option was a convent. So, yeah) and while I had had that one very awkward "but are you SURE you are not 100% gay? I mean, you can be gay and we'll love you anyway" conversation I think every bi and pan person has had at some point in their lives, I never had the impression that I had to HIDE that I liked both boys and girls when I was growing up from my PARENTS.

Clear point there: My parents.

So in a way, the whole "Coming out to family and friends" is a bit alien to me.

Even now, I didn't really came out as much as I stopped denying it when asked point out. So, when the first news came out about Misha's slip of tongue on Friday? I was happy for him because THAT's exactly how I -and many, many of my Bi friends- ended up coming out. Casually, by accident, and trying to change the subject to a different thing.

HOWEVER... I also don't blame him for correcting himself ("taking it back") for two reasons:

If his current label is straight? Then good for him that he corrected the record as soon as he could -even if I find it weird that he didn't know about it until now as I assume there were a lot of bi-fans squealing the whole weekend- because doing otherwise WOULD be really bad and leading on fans (See: T.a.T.u for the best example of that. RL Queerbaiting, no joke) And yes, I said CURRENT label because I 100% believe that sexuality is fluid. A person can identify as cis-straight at one point of their lives, then as cis gay, then as trans-gay after a long road of discovery, then as trans straight when they realize that they were attracted to the opposite gender (To their REAL gender, not their ASAB gender) all along, and it is ALL Valid.

However... IF he is Bisexual? Then we have to consider WHY he might have felt he had to take it back, and it was not JUST that it was made a big deal out of it in the Media and Social Media.

I mean... the reactions that were not 100% supportive? Were a cesspool of horrible biphobia that just reminded me of the one truth that every queer person knows: No matter how safe you think you are, no matter how much you trust the people around, no matter how much society insists that it's OK to be GAY now? Coming out is ALWAYS hard, and it will always HAVE backlash.

Coming out as Bi, Pan, Ace or Aro? Same thing but in HARD modality (And when you add coming out as Trans? That's Nightmare difficulty and I am so sorry it is so)

So yeah, I can see someone trying their toes in the queer pool, coming out as a bit of a joke, as a bit of a casual thing, trying to see how the label fits. And then being first love bombed -because as far as I know, in the con itself? It was all love, rainbows and puppies- but then coming back to reality and social media and... well, reading all THAT.

Some queer people could say "Ok, my bed, I laid on it, I can do this." But others? Well, others could go "yeah... no. This... This is not worth it. I can go back to the safe presenting side and... just hide part of me". AND BOTH ARE VALID. BOTH ARE OK. BECAUSE we all have to remember that every individual's path is, well, individual.

So, as I stand, for me there are two possibilities: Either Misha is Straight, he misspoke, he apologized and we should all respect that -which doesn't necessarily means forgiving him or accepting the apology. That's something YOU have to decide on your own. Just, respect that he APOLOGIZED- or he is Bisexual, got very spooked at coming out and ran back into the closet, which should ALSO be respected if it's the truth because rule number ONE of the Queer fight club is : WE DO NOT FORCE ANYONE OUT OF THE CLOSET.

So TL;DR? If Misha is identifying as straight? I respect that. If he at a later time changes his label? I WILL respect that and NOT take this incident as a point against him. Is it FAIR and OK if you felt hurt by the REACTIONS around it, but it is also important to remember that he is human, he also has feelings and, INCLUDING his apology? He has NEVER once gave us a reason to believe he is not at the very least a great ally who is willing to learn, to listen and to CHANGE his attitudes if needed.

And I think that's what we all should take out from this (Besides the importance of re-visiting at a later time the fact that for a very gay friendly fandom? There's also a lot of virulent biphobia going around)

OH! And if you need a safe place to come out? My DMS are open. Seriously, I can be your trial run for typing those words if you need one. My services as queer fandom auntie are always, always open for everyone.

132 notes - Posted April 26, 2022

#3

The Moon Knight #15 preview has Steven saying EXACTLY what we all have been thinking.

And of course, he gets STRAIGHT to a barber. Because Steven Grant is NOT going to let the body he and his headmates use look like an emo kid from the early 2000.

187 notes - Posted September 2, 2022

#2

Believe it or not, this is one of the BIGGEST honors someone can get in Mexico. Your own bootleg TORTAS food cart (Tortas or tacos. Both work)

BTW, "Tortas ahogadas" are literally "Drowned Tortas", which are basically your average torta pretty much drowned in salsa.

212 notes - Posted November 17, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

American Uterus-having people:

I'm so sorry about what is going on, but you guys aren't defeated yet. Because of the leak? You have time to organize, protest and fight this draconian thing. Just... FIGHT. Don't stop sharing links, don't stop informing people of what is going on and what is at stake.

Non-Uterus having people, while you may think this doesn't affect you?Remember, this is just the first step back to the dark ages. And you won't like where this ends. So please, please, please, fight with your uterus having friends. Help them to protect reproductive rights, and that, in the end, will protect you too.

I'm not in the USA, and I'm not a citizen. So I can't vote and help you guys overturn this. But I can help you raise your voice, and retweet and reblog and let people know what's going on. And I will. Because this is not over, and the good guys can still win.

(Also, if you need a shoulder to cry, I'm here. We're all together in this)

246 notes - Posted May 3, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

#tumblr2022 #year in review #my 2022 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review #Youtube

[edzasks]

your page is literally a haven for toxic fans and tabloid gossip and you're complaining about drama on Twitter? you created it. what do you think speculating about his health and drug use is? your lack of self awareness is embarrassing.

This ask really pissed me rightfully off, so I’m just going to give you a brutal fucking response because of how disgustingly disrespectful you are, and the lies you’re spreading about me. So here we go. I never talk like this, but you can rightfully fuck off.

For starters babe, please shut the fuck up — respectfully.

My page is not a haven for “toxic fans” get the stick out of your ass — I barely come on here anymore, and I don’t feed into this apparent “toxicity.” Just because I post anons and stay neutral doesn’t mean “rumors are pushed.” Neither are those my opinions either. Just because I post them, doesn’t mean I agree or participate in them.

I didn’t create Jack shit either, you just want to bitch 😂😂🤣 and make up fucking bullshit. Cause you all can’t stand that fans have other opinions or want to discuss or chat about their fav which is Zac — that’s how it works every fucking time, there’s always one anon 🙄 who wants to bitch because (on every Tumblr ask blog, if they aren’t jerking off fav celeb 24/7. There are Taylor blogs out there 50x bigger than my blog about Zac and they get the same shit from cupcake anons like this who cry and bitch because they’re that obsessed in their fantasy about the celeb they made in their head. That’s why blogs like mine drive you insane.

If you ever actually spent time on my blog too — then you’d know the anons I get are mainly positive, or neutral. (Back when I was up Zac’s ass, and always stated my opinion firmly, I was still damned, so whatever I do whether ‘perfect’ or not I’m damned always .🤷‍♀️) They are completely mild compared to most ask boxes about bigger celebs. Majority of the time I’m also being neutral (therefore, not really a response) or denying, x, y and z.)

Lastly let me educate you on PR. That’s not how rumors are created you absolute fucking dumbass. Tabloids have never picked up a “rumour” here, ever. You need a fucking whirlwind of people to do that — and guess where those start on? Deuxmoi. One or two anons speculating whatever the fuck they like, doesn’t start shit, but platforms like Deuxmoi have started rumors daily about Zac that been false every fucking time. Why don’t you focus your energy there?

“Speculating about health and drug use” 🤪🤪🤪 yeah, okay anon. If you didn’t have reading comprehension and talking out of your asshole, you would know I never once said Zac was doing drugs, dumb fuck. People speculate all the fucking time and make headline news (there is nothing you can do about it because that’s unfortunately his past)— you also have his ex-girlfriend yapping to radio hosts and booking interviews crying about his issues with drugs and how he struggles. IF YOU used common sense and stop talking out of your ass, you’d be able to put 2 + 2 together (very simple math babe) and realize it’s shit like that reignites the gossip bird.

Additionally addiction is fucking black and white you dumbass — as someone who have family friends who work in rehabbing people, and have lost family & friends to addiction, you aren’t just “sober” and “addiction is over” … Life isn’t rainbows and daises and a walk in the park after. Sobriety is discipline and struggle — what can I tell you? Even Men’s Health magazine already got people speculating on Deuxmoi already, or mentioning his past cause they think he got plastic surgery.

Also next time — get the fuck off anon and speak to me directly and have some balls if you’re gonna shade me on Twitter.

I’m tired of fucking logging in every fucking time and hearing one pissed off stan with their panties in a knot acting like a knight in shining armour. By the way by crossposting to another platform and crying and throwing your hissy fit — you’re the one who WILL start rumors and giving more publicity to my blog, so thanks for the clout babes.

Keep on hating and being obsessed — love my fans 💋

[tobe-sogolden]

Hello! I’ve looked through your blog a couple times, as I’m trying to find other harries of color to interact with about Harry, and I have a question but I hope it doesn’t come across the wrong way as I am genuine. Why do you keep up with what larries, deuxmoi, and what you call “pr harries” are saying about Olivia and Harry? If I’m understanding your replies to the asks that you get on the topic, these things make you very upset, which is understandable. But is constantly complaining (sorry if that’s harsh I can’t think of a better word for what I’m observing) in response to the latest rumor or hissy fit about them being spotted together any healthier for you and your anons/followers? Doesn’t that just distract from talking about what you actually enjoy? I used to often check accounts from known big larries or Harry haters as yeah, it was funny observing the immense cognitive dissonance, but eventually it became less fun and more mentally exhausting to do so much doom scrolling when I could just…block and ignore them, y’know? I’ve also deleted twitter, cause that’s just another head ache, and with some curating of my dash I’m mostly blissfully unaware of what’s going on Harry’s personal life. But if I chance upon your blog, suddenly I’m aware of the terrible things being said about Olivia everyday by people who are dug into their own narratives about Harry and likely aren’t going to change without real help. I’m just curious if this is fun or cathartic for you and your anons to be stuck in this seemingly self imposed cycle of always seeing negativity about Olivia and focusing on that, rather than talking about the fun things?

To be honest, I try to not keep up with it. I don't ever seek out the information on my own and I prefer to stay ignorant if possible. But it inevitably ends up in my orbit (I probably need to delete twitter too 🥴) and (1) I'm very triggered by people spreading misinformation and physically cannot shut my mouth if I see it lol and (2) I really hate for the naysayers to be the only voices. I feel like just ignoring it and not calling it out or providing a rational alternative to their insane bs is what's allowed this behavior to become so commonplace and accepted in this fandom and I hate that. I would say like 85% of the time it's more funny than truly annoying to me and like 15% of the time I get genuinely angry over it and then I just take a little break and remind myself it's not that serious 😆 and no I don't find that it distracts me from talking about fun things! I know that might seem like that's all I'm doing lately but that's only bc tumblr is so dead these days so I literally just log on, answer messages, and then log back off bc there's usually like 5 new posts on my dash from the last like 12 hours so not much else to do 💀 but rest assured I'm still listening to the album on repeat and enjoying myself 😌

#ask #if you ever see me getting genuinely mad over something it's usually bc im stressed about smth in real life #or about to start my period lol #i have really really terrible pms #and also like even though sometimes i dont like when people bring stuff here bc im like wow i wish i didnt know that 😃 #i also get that some people just want to vent and im okay with entertaining it for now #if it ever starts getting to be too much i just wouldnt do it

[assjuice4ever]

The lamest pick-up lines Atsumu used on you:

Is your ass a volleyball? Because i wanna smack that. He will use this if he is drunk as hell, he his your boyfriend or you have a flirty banter. Please, don't give in with this one because he will smack your ass as a volleyball and you will have an hand print for at least a weak and a sore ass.

Heard you like to win so here is your gold! When you say that his hairs are no more gold blonde he will start to whine about the fact that he is a gold in the athletic way, losing all his charm if he had some to start with. Say to him that Kageyama is the "gold" as a setter and you will end on a date for sure but to hear him explaining why he is better and how he is going to be the number one the next year.

Are you an onigiri? Because I want to eat you. Now, you need to say to Osamu he used that on you. He would laugh and tease his brother for a whole week but he will save it to use it later. Atsumu would die inside every second of the week.

Damn, my brother didn't say there was something as delicious as you on the menu. He will use this if you work for Osamu or if he find you eating there. He will give you the most smug look he can but be calm, you don't need to answer because his brother his screaming against him to stop harassing his clients/workers.

I thought you were the camera because I can't stop smiling at you. He will use this for sure if you are a journalist or a photographer, he will give you his best smile and heck, when you played along you had the best shots. Maybe you could really go out with him.

So, it was true there were angels in the sky. There is not a single team member who is not groaning on the airplane when he used that line. He didn't say anything to you since when he seated next to you until you were up in the sky just to use this one.

Are you a libero? Because I think you saved me. If your response was "so are you a ball?" You won't hear the end of it. He will start complaining by saying he is not fat to literally take his shirt off to show you his abs, while Sakusa says to him to act like an adult. There is no fat there.

Are you a trophy? Because I see you in my hands in the future. God give people humility but Atsumu wasn't there that day. Why not waiting to see if he win to go out with him? And if he loose maybe he will need another trophy.

You're like beach volley: you make me want to throw my shirt away to play. Hinata gave him the idea, he realised how bad it is just after having said that. Please, stop laughing, otherwise he won't watch you in the face anymore because he would be to embarrassed.

Do you like volleyball? Because I think we could create a team. That sounds a little scary. Like, how many child does he want? Somebody can say to him that's plain scary to think about?

My PR said that I need to post only good looking thing, can I post a photo of you? It's not true at all. His social are awesome (if you ignore the photos of his friends wasted), you just don't need to check the comments, where he and his brother insults one the other, sometimes, somehow, Suna is in the middle with Aran. Don't you wanna be a part of his beautiful feed?

I thought you were a new rule because I want to follow you. Stupid. Cute. He uses this on you if you are the referee at the end of the game or in any place near him after or before a match. Meian literally took him back on the field by his ear.

You look a little sad, if you want I can give you vitamin D. Sign a report.

Are you the Olympics? Because I waited for you for all my life. Go out with him. No question. He loves you if he compared you to the Olympics.

A pretty stupid idea born after I and one friend of mine started to test pick-up line ocean related. There are like hundreds of them (Would you like to see the Marianea Trench? Or Do you wanna se my fish?, I swear to God in Italian they are awesome), anyway, I may add something later and eliminate the mistakes.

#atsumu x reader #atsumu miya #hq atsumu #lame ass #pick up lines #atsumu x you #osamu hcs #osamu miya #haikyuu msby #msby scenarios #hinata headcanons #sakusa headcanons #meian

[castiel-left-his-mark-on-me]

Hi, Ary, very inactive ex-mutual(i think???) here. Good to see you thriving! ♥ It's been a while since I've dipped my head into cockles stuff. Could I perchance maybe ask uuuuum tf is going on??? lol I see Mish apparently confirmed he used to stay over at Jensen's in Van, and heard newbs were apparently freaking out about it and getting a bit messy, which I get that, business as usual. But I'm also seeing shit about spin-offs? And Jared getting in a twitter fight with Jensen, causing/resulting in stans to going feral and sending hate?? I know you're not as big a fan of Jar, but that's part of why I figured I'd ask you, you usually have a really level head about this kinda stuff. If you don't wanna answer publically, or at all, that's totally chill!

Hey, Rhi! We're still mutuals! Of course we're still mutuals! When I saw the notification of your ask, I was like "Hey! I haven't seen you in a while!" and my husband was like "???" and I said "Tumblr" and he said "Oh."

It was a wild time haha.

In any case, welcome back to the dumpster fire! We are obviously still a mess. So to catch you up, I guess I will start by summarizing both before and after the finale (not sure where you left off so this might be redundant for you) ... basically, it became obvious as the end of the show neared that Jensen was not on board with the plan for the finale; although Jared never stopped singing its praises.

We got confirmation of this during a zoom interview where Jensen said that he actually went into the writers room as well as called Kripke to basically voice how he didn't agree with the direction the final season was going, but he was shot down on all fronts. In another interview, he was asked "What would you tell your younger self going into this career?" And Jensen responded with: "I would tell myself to just keep your head down and do the work" meaning, "Don't try to change things because you can't." I also think that this whole situation is what he wrote "Let Me Be" about for his first Radio Company album, but that is just my own speculation. All of his reluctance, even though he always followed it up with "But I eventually saw the value in the script" or "I came around in the end" (which never sounded sincere, and I don't think he was really trying to sound sincere) made us all very nervous about what was to come for 15x20; and of course, when the last two episodes aired, we saw just how badly they fucked it up.

After the awful finale, the entire fandom became aware of the CW's heavy handed role in the thing, basically squeezing all the life out of SPN to shape it into a ramp from which Walker could launch itself. They not only erased all the love and joy and representation that Cas's love confession gave us, they also tore apart the things that made sense about the bond between Sam and Dean, making it really just about Sam-- and therefore Jared, which of course, Jared seemed to be fine with ... even though no one else was. Misha barely said anything during the finale, and a few of the other actors talked about the show ending in various posts, but Jared tweeted up a storm ... and Jensen? Jensen just sat in sexy-silent resentment of the whole thing. He didn't tweet, he didn't post, he didn't say a word once he no longer had to, and I think that's because he was already going full-steam-ahead on his plans for redemption.

Which brings us to Chaos Machine-- Jensen and Danneel's new production company that is being run by a queer creative director and has a mantra of inclusivity and representation woven throughout it's fabric; and apparently, the first story that Jensen wanted to tell through this new platform is the origin story of Sam and Dean's parents; so last week (?) he announced the upcoming production of "The Winchesters" -- the untold love story of John and Mary. Obviously, John is not the most likable character from the show, so the idea was met with a lot of resentment when it was first announced, but Jensen has gone on to say that he is excited to take on the task of telling the "true" story behind these characters-- the one that makes sense with the pre-established canon and doesn't reject it. So, given that, the idea is being mulled over with a bit more optimism from the fandom.

Who isn't being optimistic though?

Jared Padalecki.

When Jensen made this announcement on Twitter, many of his friends and coworkers congratulated him, but not Jared. Jared responded with a passive aggressive: "I'm happy for you, man, but I wish I didn't hear about it through Twitter." This of course, sent all the die-hard Jared fans into a tizzy and they immediately began asking him if he was serious (hoping it was just a joke-- we all hoped it was because there would be fallout no matter what one's opinion on Jared is). Instead of leaving it there though or just deleting that tweet, Jared went on to tweet some more, saying that he was being serious that he didn't know about the plans for the prequel, and that he was "gutted" that Sam apparenlty wouldn't be included (mind you, this a prequel to SPN... meaning BEFORE Sam and Dean were even born, so how could Sam be included? But Dean is apparently narrating this story so maybe Jared thought Sam should be helping to narrate it? I don't know). But Jared being Jared couldn't just leave that there, he then went on to tweet at Robbie Thompson who was announced as a writer for "The Winchesters" so then Jared went off on him too, calling him "Brutus" and a "coward" acting like Robbie betrayed him (speculation is-- Robbie refused to write for Walker, so Jared is pissed that he essentially chose Jensen over him). He did fairly quickly, remove that tweet attacking Robbie, but of course the damage was done at that point. And it truly only took his first tweet calling out Jensen for some people to be like "Jared-- that sucks if you didn't know but why are you saying any of this publicly?"

As you might know, Jared has had issues in the past with posting hurtful things on social media, and has even used it as a tool for attack before-- calling out customer service agents and public workers that he felt have wronged him, which is bad enough ... but for him to then do the same thing to his best friend of well over a decade? Many people who had once liked him or at least gave him the benefit of the doubt (I used to ...) stopped after this latest twitter tantrum.

However, some people have suspected for some time that J2 had a falling out either shortly before the finale or just after. Their public/social media interactions have seemed awkward, stilted or even non-existent in moments that they normally wouldn't be. In the past year, when Walker premiered, Jensen didn't say much about his friend's new venture other than a "Congrats. buddy" here and there. Later, we learned that Jensen refused to work on the show ... Jared said he make him do it, drag Jensen to the set "kicking and screaming" which made many fans quirk up an eyebrow because, why would Jensen put up a fight unless the two weren't as close as they used to be? And then Jensen moved his family to Colorado (either permanently or for an extended period at least) which is notable considering how he moved to Texas seemingly to be closer to Jared, even buying a house that was near his. All this was just speculation though; but it wasn't until Jared's tweet complaining about not knowing about the prequel that the theories behind them falling out, became less theory and more fact.

The day after his twitter tantrum, Jared tweeted again-- not retracting his statements or apologizing, but instead saying that he and Jensen "talked" and were "all good". Jensen then tweeted too, parroting this statement to some degree, which only made the whole thing even more sour in the mouths of the fans. The fact that Jared didn't apologize for his outburst and throwing his friend under the bus, and also the fact that Jensen-- Mr. Sexy Silence, Mr. Never Tweets, Mr. Tech-Ignorant-and-Proud, actually had to POST SOMETHING saying that he and Jared made up, it just screamed OPTICS. It was obviously the work of agents and PR firms and lots of people going "Look, if you two keep beefing, that will mean the death of both of your projects. Even more people will stop watching Walker, and this SPN prequel will never get picked up due to the scandal." So, the two "made nice" publicly to quell the chaos, but in my opinion, it's all too little too late. Jared started a storm that he can't contain now with a little tweet, and it seems like he knows that too because before he talked about him and Jensen making up, he asked that people "not send threats". He could have just as easily said that he shouldn't have made this a public issue and that he's sorry, but instead, he continued to play the victim and stoke the flames by alerting us all to the damage he's done.

Now, like I said before-- I used to give him the benefit of the doubt. I don't think he's an awful human or that he deserves to be attacked or anything, but he is an adult man with very poor judgment and an obvious selfish-streak a mile wide. He should know better, and he should have more respect for his so-called "friends" and "brothers" than to make them targets to public ridicule. I have a hard time believing that Jensen still sees Jared the way he used to, and I wouldn't blame him a bit for wanting to pull away-- especially when he's moving on to so many new and exciting things. Jared certainly deserves happiness just as much as anyone else, but he went on twitter and basically asked for a scandal, and he got one.

The question is now-- was there a motive behind it? Was just looking for a reason to bring his and Jensen's falling out to light-- while making himself looking like the victim in the process? Or did he genuinely not know about the prequel and just decided to go about "not knowing" in the most toxic and hurtful way he could manage?

In any case, that is the drama ... that is the J2 insanity in a rather lengthy nutshell ... that is the tea ... and I hope it all makes sense.

But the good news out of all of this is, Cockles is thriving-- they are happy and in love and Jensen calls Misha "Babe" and Misha misses waking up to see Jensen in the morning, and they are just as cute and wonderful as can be.

So, I will end that there. I am so glad to see you back, and I hope I answered all your questions in a way that made sense ... I tried anyway!

💖💖💖

#omg #I don't even know if this makes sense #this took way too long to write #j2 #cockles #long post #spn family #so glad you see you back again my dear #welcome to hell #it's hotter now

[nugnthopkns]

i wish i could disappear

word count: 3.6k

warnings: explicit!fem reader, cursing, feelings of anxiety due to social media harassment, invasion of privacy that border on stalking

recommended listening: brutal | olivia rodrigo

series masterpost: here

a/n: and we're off to the races!! i love this album and olivia so much. there's a shoutout to goon by tobias jesso jr. in here bc it's my favourite album to cry to lmao (highly recommend giving it a listen!). i'm on the fence about this one but am posting it anyways because i don't think i can make it any better

How the fuck do people find your social media?

All of your accounts are private and Kevin makes sure to never tag you on the rare occasion he posts a picture of the two of you together. The wives and girlfriends who have public accounts make sure to never post about you, and you’re careful not to comment on posts often. You’re a private person and though you understand that due to the nature of your relationship with Kevin you intrigue some fans, you don’t want to give them more than you have to.

Despite making no attempt to open up to the public or media, every day you wake up with hundreds of follow requests from complete strangers. At first it was a little exciting knowing that people were curious about your life but after years of the same routine it’s become draining. It takes you nearly twenty minutes each day to weed through them and accept only the people you know personally. Kevin doesn’t actually know how many people want to catch a glimpse of your daily life because you do your best to keep it from him. Knowing would only bring him stress, and you want him to be able to focus on winning games and loving you with his entire heart.

☼☼☼☼

The phone on your desk rings loudly, pulling your attention away from the computer screen that has way too many numbers on it for your liking. The finance department needed someone to proof their audit before sending it away and since you’re the only one in human relations that has a business degree the job landed on your shoulders. Eager to take a break, you pick it up and press the receiver against your ear.

“Hello?”

The voice on the other side laughs gently, but you immediately know it’s Kevin. “Hi sweetheart,” he says warmly, “How’s work?”

“Fine I guess. It’s work, Kev. Nothing terribly exciting happens here,” you explain but continue to fill him in on all the coffee pot gossip you got this morning. Kevin listens as you complain about forgetting your lunch on the counter and chuckles at how upset the situation makes you.

“What if I told you I’m outside your window with a burrito bowl?”

Excited at the possibility of seeing your boyfriend before dinnertime, you whip towards the window and spot Kevin on the sidewalk, waving like an idiot despite knowing your office is on the fifth floor. You hang up quickly after telling him you’ll be down in two minutes and let the receptionist know you’re stepping out for lunch. There’s a line for the elevator so you head to the stairwell, taking them two at a time in your haste. You’re crossing the street to the small park where Kevin has set up a picnic before your co-workers are even out the door.

You plop down on the blanket beside Kevin and lean into him. He presses a sweet kiss to your forehead before passing you the food he brought. You take a bite, sighing at the taste. Kevin knows you better than you know yourself and knew exactly what to get that would satisfy your mounting hunger.

“Thanks babe,” you smile, holding up your fork and offering him a bite. He takes it graciously but makes a face. “What’s the matter?” you laugh as you take the utensil back.

“I fucking hate avocado.”

The two of you eat in relative silence, speaking only when you remember a detail from your morning. Kevin tells you about the drills he’s going to lead at practice in the afternoon and what he plans on cooking for dinner since he’ll be home before you. You insist you can whip something up when you get home but Kevin shakes his head. He reminds you that relationships are give and take, and that you’ve made dinner the past three nights because he had a string of games. You manage to reach a compromise that has you doing the dishes before you have to return to work.

Kevin insists on walking you back to your office even though you protest vehemently. Your relationship is far from secret, and has been the topic of workplace gossip more times than you can count, but after five years you’ve learned to ignore most of it. However, you don’t want your co-workers to think you flaunt your NHL player boyfriend to prove you’re better than them. They all love Kevin, and a couple of them congratulate him on last night’s goal as he follows you down the hall. A few of the newer hires stare in awe and shake his hand, completely blown away that one of Philadelphia’s biggest stars is asking how they like their jobs.

“Pretty soon they’re going to approach you to do PR for us,” you chuckle as you flip the light on and close the door of your office.

His laughter echoes off the walls as a pair of strong arms find a home around your waist. “It would be kind of fun to hear myself crush those radio commercials.”

“Since when do you listen to the radio?”

“Checkmate,” Kevin sighs, pulling you closer. He kisses you quickly, not wanting to give a show to anyone who could be walking past, but it still sends you reeling. You don’t want him to pull away and kiss him again.

You get your way for a few more moments and then Kevin’s leaving with a promise to not burn the house down and wishes for a good rest of the day. Focussed on giving the audit its final once-over you don’t bother pulling your phone from the drawer you had placed it in when you got to work that morning. You turn up the small radio at the corner of your desk and get to work scanning the document for errors. There’s a mistake halfway through that skews the rest of the data and fixing it takes a bit of time, but it isn’t a huge deal. You have nothing else to do except answer a few emails and organize meetings for after the weekend.

An hour or so later you’ve completed all your tasks and debate what to do. It’s too early to leave for the day, so you decide to kill time by checking your phone. You’re expecting a few notifications, perhaps two or three memes in the group chat you share with your friends, but not the hundreds that greet you.

The majority of them are instagram notifications, and assuming they’re just more fans requesting a follow you ignore them, instead heading to your text messages. There’s a picture from Kevin of a dog he found walking home and another from your mom asking why you haven’t called home in a few weeks. However the one from Claude’s wife is the one that piques your curiosity.

Just a heads up that someone posted a pic of you and Kev to one of those stupid wag pages. I filed a request for Instagram to take it down but it’s gotten a lot of traction. Sorry :((

Your heartbeat increases rapidly and a million thoughts fly through your head at a rapid speed. Fingers shaking, you respond with a thanks and open up the dreaded app. You don’t see it immediately, your feed being full of photos belonging to friends and family, but it’s in your messages almost two hundred times. Many of them have text attached and you know there will be a comment about your relationship regardless of which one you open.

Tapping on the most recent message you brace yourself for the worst. The new window opens a photo someone took of you and Kevin while eating lunch in the park across from your office not even three hours prior. It’s grainy and the camera angle is strange, but you’re eating and Kevin is looking somewhere out of frame. The accompanying caption reads Kev and his girlfriend out for lunch today! Follow @philllywagupdates for more :).

You let out a sigh of relief – it could have been a lot worse. Personal pictures of yourself have made it onto pages like that before and most of them they’re paired with mean-spirited captions about your appearance or other trivial matters. Assuming you’re in the clear, you head back to the page of the original message to thank the person for bringing the post to your attention. However, the message accompanying the post is anything but positive.

He can’t even fucking look at you. It’s only a matter of time before he leaves you

The blood in your veins runs cold. You know it’s not true – Kevin’s made it clear you’re the one and truthfully you’re just waiting for a ring – but it doesn’t stop the sting you feel. What could possess someone to say such horrible things? You decide not to respond despite, possibly opening another can of worms with the seen function, and close the app. Leaning back in your office chair you focus on anything but your phone, looking out the window at passersby while regaining your breath. It works for a while, but eventually not knowing what others said eats away at you. You go through every single message to see hundreds of similar comments to the first, with only a few saying they’re glad you’re happy or how posting the picture is a violation of your privacy.

By the time you’re finished your spirit has been crushed. However, it’s also an acceptable time to start the weekend – at least no one in the office will have to see you cry. Things are hastily packed into your bag and you wave a few quick goodbyes before once again taking the stairs. You curse yourself for deciding to walk to work that morning and set off in the direction of home wiping away tears. The last thing you need right now is for someone to recognize you, but you have to get home. Tobias Jesso Jr plays at much too loud a volume through your headphones and Kevin will most certainly remind you it’s bad for your hearing, but the melancholy piano riffs of Goon overpower the thoughts swirling around your head.

Do people really feel that way about me?

Are my friends just too nice to stop inviting me places?

Does Kevin really feel trapped?

Hundreds of similar sentiments and situations cross your mind as you stumble through the streets of downtown Philadelphia, but you force them as far back as possible before opening the door to the apartment you share with Kevin. Hoping to slip inside undetected, you take your shoes off slowly and throw your jacket on the end table instead of hanging it in the closet. Your plan fails somehow and Kevin hears you, greeting you in a goofy apron covered in flour.

“Hey sweetheart,” he smiles, but it drops once your eyes meet and he sees the hurt on your face. “What’s the matter?”

“It’s nothing,” you insist, trying to step around him in pursuit of the bathroom.

Kevin doesn’t buy it and sees right through your feeble words. “It’s not nothing if you’re this upset. If you don’t want to talk now that’s fine, but I think you should get it off your chest.”

You know he’s right, but you also know you can’t tell him the true cause of your despair. “Just some work stuff,” you sigh. “The audit got all fucked up and I had to fix it even though it’s not my job.”

It’s not technically a lie, which makes you feel better, and Kevin buys it. He presses a sweet kiss to your lips in sympathy. “Go take a shower and the gnocchi should be ready by the time you’re done. We can spend the night cuddling on the couch.”

“And watching Selling Sunset?”

“We can watch whatever you want sweetheart,” he chuckles. You part from him with a final kiss and head to the bathroom. Hopefully the steam from the water will carry away the negativity brought on by that damn post.

☼☼☼☼

Time passes but the hateful comments on social media don’t stop. In fact, you’re pretty sure they get worse. It’s so bad that you’ve deleted every app except facebook because you need it for work. Kevin doesn’t notice your abstinence from social media, but he picks up on how you spend more time criticizing yourself or staring off into space. When he pushes you either brush him off or feed some bullshit excuse about how work is getting you down. You know he doesn’t believe you but trusts you enough to come to him when you’re ready to talk.

You aren’t sure if you’ll ever be able to tell Kevin what’s been going on. There’s been scrutiny from social media before, when you first started dating, but it quieted down after the initial media frenzy. He helped you through that but it’s different this time around. Never before have you had strangers tell you your life is worthless or that your boyfriend should end your relationship. Some of the other wags notice your absence on instagram but chalk it up to you just taking a break. They reach out via the group chat and send wishes to see you at the next home game. It’s nice to know they care, but the voice in your head that has grown much larger in recent weeks tells you they don’t truly mean it. This leads you to decline the invite as politely as possible, citing extended work hours for your absence. In reality you’re too anxious to be anywhere that isn’t home or work, petrified someone is going to post something that will add fuel to the flames of those who interrogate you.

It’s another Friday afternoon, and you’re leaving the office early once again. There’s a small craft exhibition taking place around the corner from work and today is the last day it’s open. You had been meaning to go all week, hoping to find something small to add to Kevin’s birthday gift. As you step out of the building there’s a small group of young women, who don’t look old enough to have graduated college, standing off to the side. It fills you with dread, worried that somehow someone found out where you work and the insults are going to start occurring verbally, but you force yourself to be rational. You work fairly close to one of the artsier districts in the city and it’s more than likely they just want to find a cute mural to take pictures in front of.

You pass by and swear you hear them snicker, but you remind yourself you’ve just been jumpy lately. When they peel from their place on the wall and follow behind at a distance you think the coincidences are running out. It seems a little too strange how their movements line up with yours, and you go down a few winding side streets in an attempt to lose them. Part of you feels ridiculous because what group of barely legal girls would track a full-blown adult around a city of nearly two million people, but your life is currently strange enough you can’t be sure. They don’t follow you, and by the time you reach the market your heart rate has returned to normal.

The first few stalls have little to catch your eye, but a few rows in you find a leatherworker who makes adorable wallets. Kevin’s is ridiculously old and falling apart at the seams – his mom bought it for him before the two of you got together. You think a new one will make a perfect addition to the concert tickets you already bought and browse the table for something simple and elegant. A deep brown one with tan braiding around the edges catches your eye and you know it’s the one for Kevin. Checking the price to make sure you have enough cash in your wallet, you approach the shop owner to purchase. The older man has a kind smile that reaches his eyes as he thanks you for purchasing from him.

“No, thank you for making something so beautiful!��� you gush. “My boyfriend is going to love it.”

It’s then you hear it – snickering accompanied by the click of a camera. You look over your shoulder to see the same group of girls from before laughing as they huddle over a cell phone, no doubt already starting to broadcast the photo across the internet. Tears prick at the corners of your eyes but you refuse to let them fall. Those girls don’t deserve to see their mission accomplished, but the longer they laugh at you the harder it is to swallow your feelings.

Head held high, you thank the owner one more time before holding your head high and walking past the group. The only way out is past them so you hold your breath and pray they don’t notice you. Unfortunately you aren’t that lucky, and one of them looks up just as you come into earshot.

“If Kevin doesn’t leave you after that sorry excuse for a gift I don’t know what’s wrong with him,” she sneers.

Another one chimes in, “You’re honestly so pathetic.” They all cackle in amusement, and you speed up. The tears flow freely now, and you call an uber even though it will be a ridiculous amount of money. You just want to get home.

The uber driver doesn’t say anything when you get in, though you know it’s strange to be bawling your eyes out at four in the afternoon. You can’t help it – weeks of keeping all the hate to yourself finally got to you and being followed with the sole intent of ridicule is the final straw. At one red light he silently passes you a box of tissues, which you accept gratefully.

Luckily the lobby of your apartment complex is empty and you manage to get to your floor without encountering a familiar face. There’s a few hours until Kevin gets home from his final roadtrip of the season, and if you play your cards right you can get all the tears out and be as normal as possible before he comes through the door. You don’t even bother to put anything away, just head straight to the bathroom to slump against the tub. Sobs rack your body and you lose all sense of time. All you can feel is the hurt you’ve been holding in releasing itself and soaking the material of your blouse.

Kevin finds you laying in the position hours later. He tripped over your shoes coming in the door and immediately knew something was wrong – you always place them neatly on the rack in the closet upon arriving home. Peering through the quiet house for a hint at where you are, he sees the bathroom light on and makes a beeline for the room. It breaks his heart to see you like this, and even more so because he doesn’t know what spurred it on.

“Sweetheart, hey,” he coos, maneuvering his body to sit beside you and pull you into his lap. “What’s the matter?”

You bury your head in his shoulder and clutch the material of his dress shirt as you cry harder at the sound of his voice. Kevin takes your reaction in stride, rubbing circles on your back and working on evening out your breath. He doesn’t pressure you to speak and provides the stability you desperately crave as the world around you spins. An unknown amount of time passes before your tears run out, but spend it all on the bathroom floor curled into Kevin.

“I guess I should have told you sooner,” you mumble, “But I didn’t want to bother you.”

Concern laces Kevin’s features and his eyebrows knit together. “Tell me what?”

“I, uh, have been the subject of some internet hate for the past little bit,” you say sheepishly. It feels stupid to not have told him now, but you can’t change that. “But you were really busy with the season and I wanted to make sure your head was completely focused on the game so I just dealt with it myself. I deleted the apps and tried my best to go about my life. And then today after work I was followed by some people and they said some really hurtful stuff and shit became a little too real.”

“I’m so fucking sorry.”

It’s your turn to be confused. “Why are you sorry Kev? You're Not the one sending me death threats.”

He tucks a loose strand of hair back into your ponytail. “Maybe not, but I still made you feel like you couldn’t talk to me about what was going on. What kind of partner am I?”

“The best one,” you say confidently. “It’s okay, I’m okay. I just want to forget about it right now. Can we just disappear for a little bit?”

Kevin wraps his arms around you tighter, as if he can engulf you to protect from the cruel outside world. “We can do whatever you want. If you want to get out of the city for a bit if you want, or just spend the next few days here away from prying eyes.”

“I love you.”

You say it because you mean it, and if you could scream it from the rooftops you would. Kevin is incredibly easy to love, even when you make it difficult for him to love you back. You know another much longer conversation is coming about everything that has happened recently because communication is the only way to solve problems and Kevin deserves that, but you’re thankful he’s willing to put it to rest for a few more moments.

He cracks a smile for the first time since he’s been home and kisses the crown of your head. “I love you too sweetheart,” he whispers, “Always and forever.”

Things are far from over and though you still never want to show your face in public ever again, you know that Kevin is going to do whatever he can to make things better and that’s enough for you.

☼☼☼☼

taglist: @ricohenrique @tortito @boqvistsbabe @iwantahockeyhimbo @himbos-on-ice @2manytabsopen if you want to be added just shoot me an ask :)

#i don't love this but here it is!!! #one day i'll like the stories i write #kevin hayes imagine #kevin hayes x reader #kevin hayes fic #philadelphia flyers imagine #nhl imagine #nhl fic #hockey imagine #hockey fic #cwrites #sour

[peridot-dreams]

beautiful people | shawn mendes

Shawn sees a familiar face at the awards show, and learns the value of realness.

The setting sun leaves the Hollywood sky pink and full of possibilities. Shawn finds himself looking out the window at it, still in a daze after the events that had unfolded that day. He’d won several awards for a song he was proud of. He thinks of the look on his parents’ faces in the audience when his name was announced and smiles. That’s who I do this all for, he thinks to himself.

His limousine rolls up the venue. It’s already teeming with people, Lamborghinis, and cameras. Shawn is used to such commotion, but the second he opens the car door, he’s bombarded with excessive noise - noise so loud that he can barely hear himself think.

He’s still riding his post-awards high when he walks in, still dressed in the same red carpet outfit as before. He has a girl on his arm, but not by choice - rather, an unfortunate PR stunt planned terribly and executed even worse. He greets his celebrity friends as he passes by, offering a small smile and a thank you when they congratulate him on his win.

He’s just about to ask the girl on his arm if she’d like to come with him to the drink bar when he sees a flash of silver in the corner of his eye. Shawn realizes who had just walked past him; he feels his heart began to pound in his chest and his breathing gets shallow. “Sorry, can I go to the bathroom?” he tells the girl on his arm, not bothering to wait for a response. He detaches himself and follows the silver blur, around a corner and into a dark hallway.

The silver blur is standing in the dark, scrolling aimlessly on her phone. Shawn sighs and takes in the sight: the silver dress on her is absolutely stunning. Her hair and her makeup is perfect; he feels lost in her presence, stunned by her beauty. He’s never seen her like this, and it only adds to the pain of it all. His mother had once said that losing a best friend is worse than a break up and right now he completely understands what his mother meant.

“Y/N,” he breathes. When she looks up, he feels like running away - she’s looking at him as if he’s the dirt under her silver heels. He wishes she would stop, that she would run to him and hug him and make everything alright between them again. She’s standing right in front of him but he misses her, misses everything about their friendship and support for each other.

“What do you want, Mendes?” she mutters under her breath. She turns her attention back to her phone, tapping her toe incessantly. Shawn can’t stand the sound of her heel hitting the ground because he remembers that she tends to fidget when she’s upset; the clacking sound is only a reminder of their friendship that had crashed and burned for reasons Shawn still fails to understand.

“Why do you hate me so much?” Shawn blurts out. “I don’t get it, Y/N. We used to be best friends, and one day you just started hating me and I still don’t understand why.”

“Because,” Y/N spits, shoving her phone into her bag. “Because you’re like them now.”

“Who’s ‘them’?”

“All those fake people out there!” Y/N exclaims, her eyes glancing over to the party-goers with a disgusted look plastered on her face. Shawn feels her gaze coming back to him, judging and critical. He feels like he could wither under her stare like a plant in a drought. “Shawn, you’ve changed. You used to be so down to earth, so genuine, but now you’re caught up in the money and fame and corporate bullshit.”

“Am not!” Shawn crosses his arms as he unconsciously clenches his teeth. “That’s such bull-”

“Shawn, you’re the epitome of fake. You’re in a fucking PR relationship.”

“W-What-”

“Don’t even try to argue. It’s so obvious and even your fans know what’s going on.”

Shawn closes his eyes. He wishes that he could argue with her, but arguing in the dark hallway outside of an after party wasn’t the ideal setting to do so. From the outside looking in, he knows it looks like he’s changed but he needs her to know that it’s not true. He needs his best friend back in his life again.

“Look,” Shawn speaks, taking a deep breath. “Let’s ditch this party. I know you don’t like these kinds of events anyway, so I don’t even know why you’re here…”

“My manager made me come.”

“Right. Whatever, let’s just sneak out. Let’s hang out like we used to, okay? I’ve missed you.”

“Don’t you need to get back to fake-dating your ‘girlfriend’?” Y/N snaps, giving Shawn the most sarcastic air quotes she can muster.

“No, fuck that,” he says. Against his better judgment, he takes her hand in his. He’s relieved when she doesn’t try to yank her hand back. “Let’s just go.”

✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

Thirty minutes later, Shawn finds himself sitting across from Y/N at a dingy old diner on the other side of Hollywood. He watches as she twirls the straw in her chocolate milkshake. She hasn’t said more than three words to him since they left the party, and Shawn feels like trying to salvage their friendship is pointless at this point. Shawn knew from their now-dead friendship that Y/N was a champion at holding grudges - he just never expected to find himself at the other end of one.

“So how’ve you been?” Shawn asks softly. He wants to kick himself for how awkward and nervous he sounds, but he hopes that Y/N will take his nerves as a sign of his genuine interest in rekindling their friendship.

“Fine,” she mumbles. She takes a tiny sip of her chocolate shake. “Slow year.”

Shawn knows that isn’t true. He Googles her name every few weeks and watches every single interview she appears in on YouTube. Y/N’s acting career had taken off in the past few years, and she’d been getting tons of lead roles in TV shows and movies lately. He always gets a pang of jealousy in the pit of his stomach when he sees pictures of her with friends on Instagram, because he knows full well that it could have been him travelling the world with her, experiencing new things with her.

He doesn’t tell her that he’s been keeping tabs on her. “Yeah,” Shawn mutters. “Okay.”

The tension in the air could be cut with a knife. It doesn’t help that the diner is completely empty, save for the old man who owns it and is busy complaining about how “millenials are killing the restaurant business” under his breath. Shawn tries to focus on the owner’s mutterings, desperately wanting to think about something other than the fact that Y/N is totally not into him or the conversation that he’s been trying to keep going.

“I don’t hate you, by the way.”

Shawn’s head snaps up to look at her, eyes wide with shock. “Well, you stopped talking to me out of the blue, so I just assumed you did.”

“Well, I don’t.” She stops twirling her milkshake straw and drops her hands into her lap. She meets his gaze, eyes still hard and lips pressed together in a straight line. “You’ve just...changed.”

“I think we’ve both changed.”

“No.” She shakes her head, letting out an indignant laugh. Shawn winces at the sharpness of her tone. “You’re the one who started doing brand deals, ripping off fans with overpriced tickets and merch, signing PR contracts and betraying your fans…”

“Y/N.” Shawn’s hands are starting to shake; he rubs his thighs over his jeans in an attempt to calm himself down. Her words are cutting deeper than a knife; he can barely stand it.

“You’ve completely betrayed your fans, Shawn. You’ve sold them out to every company that has approached you, taken advantage of their trust. Damn it Shawn, you’re even endorsing overpriced water now, like how stupid is-”

“That wasn’t fucking me!” Shawn slams his hand on the table. The old man stops mumbling about millenials and looks in fear at the angry boy. Y/N is barely fazed, her hard glare still targeting Shawn.

“Oh really?” She narrows her eyes at him. “‘Cause your ass is everywhere these days, every time I turn on the TV-”

“Do you remember how my career started?”

Y/N stops for a second, but rolls her eyes immediately after. “Yeah, at some overpriced convention marketed towards prepubescent teenagers.”

“Before MAGCON,” Shawn interrupts. His eyes plead with her to understand, to see where he’s coming from. “I was just a kid, sitting in my room with a guitar. Singing cover songs and making six second videos even though no one was listening. Because I felt like it. Because it made me happy.”

“Yeah. I remember.”

“Yeah. That’s the happiest I’ve ever been in my life.” A sigh leaves Shawn’s mouth; his eyes drop to his lap as he tries to calm his shaking hands and voice. He’s never felt so heated in his life, like every emotion is about to burst out of his chest. “And then everything just took off and suddenly I was signing with a record label and being thrust into the public eye. I was just a small town kid from Canada, but suddenly people were starting to expect things from me.”

“Shawn-”

“No, please. Hear me out.” The suit on his body was tailored to be comfortable, but in the heat of his rant it feels like it’s suffocating him. “It all went so fast. It was just one song after another and interviews and TV shows and concerts and tours. Everything was just going by so fast and every day, I lost a piece of myself. I was on autopilot, and my team was just signing me up for everything and I would let myself be led by them. Even now, I just sign contracts without thinking and allow myself to be molded by people who only care about money.”

“Shawn, why didn’t you tell me any of this before?” Y/N’s eyes are soft now. She suddenly notices how tired he looks under the makeup that he was forced to wear to the awards event: his sunken eyes, the dark bags under them, the lines that furrowed into his skin between his eyebrows. He looks like he’s barely hanging on to life, like the walls are caving in and he’s been trying to hold them up. She wishes she would have noticed earlier how lifeless he looks. “We were best friends, you could have told me about this.”

“Because,” Shawn starts, holding back the sob forcing itself up his throat. “I can’t ever tell anyone because I don’t want to sound ungrateful. I’m grateful, I really am...I’m lucky to have my passion be my career. But I’m so tired, Y/N. I just want to go back to being that kid in his bedroom, playing guitar because he feels like it, not because he signed a contract or because someone else wants him to.” He closes his eyes, sighing, letting his head fall back slightly. He reminds himself to relax his shoulders and take deep breaths. “When I’m on stage, I get to go back to being happy for just a moment. I get to forget about everyone’s expectations, about contracts and brand deals and PR and all the bullshit. I get to be me. Completely free.”

She’s stunned and he knows it. He’s just unloaded all of the burdens he’s been carrying; Shawn doesn’t know how Y/N is going to react, but he feels lighter, he feels better. He just hopes, so desperately, that she’ll understand his brokenness and the wreckage that has been left in his mind as a result of the stress and anxiety of the last few years. He hopes that she’ll understand him for what he is, not what he appears to be.

“So I haven’t changed, Y/N. I’m not like them; I’m like you. Money and fame, it’s just not who we are.”

“Shawn, I’m so sorry.” Her tear-filled eyes move in a frenzy as she realizes the falsity of her words and accusations. “I should have realized that you felt this way and that you were struggling. I’m so sorry for severing our friendship and for not knowing what was going on.”

“No, it’s not your fault. I just…”

Shawn groans as he sees the group of people that have congregated outside the windows of the diner. They both gaze into the parking lot, bombarded by bright flashes and deafened by the sound of cameras shuttering.

“Fuck. It’s the paps.” Shawn groans again, head rolling back in frustration. “How did they find us?”

“They were following your famous ass,” Y/N says, laughing. Shawn smiles; he resists the urge to point out that she’s famous too, and has more followers than him on Instagram.

“Should we leave?” Shawn asks.

“Hell no. They want pics, let’s give them pics.” Shawn watches in awe as Y/N stands up on her seat despite the loud protesting of the owner. She starts waving at them crazily, her peace signs occasionally replaced by a middle finger.

“Fuck you!” she yells in between her laughs. Shawn grins; he finds himself copying her and standing on his own seat. He starts waving at the cameras, reveling in the flashes and dancing like an idiot to the music inside his head.

“Fuck you!” he yells. He’s never felt so liberated in his entire life. He starts posing with her, each pose more ridiculous than the prior. They pretend to tango on the table, screaming when they nearly topple over the edges. He twirls her around, smile growing bigger and bigger with each giggle that leaves her mouth. “It’s been two years and you still suck at dancing,” he cackles. She pretends to gasp, then sticks her tongue out at him and at the paps outside.

Before he realizes what he’s doing, his lips are on hers. She doesn’t kiss back at first, shocked, but when Shawn is about to pull away he feels her hands on the back of his head pulling him closer. Suddenly, there’s nothing else in the entire world besides her; they’re not standing on top of a diner table anymore. It’s like they’re floating and Shawn’s body is leaning into hers and he’s never felt so complete before. The smell of her conditioner makes him forget his own name and he realizes that her lips taste like chocolate and friends aren’t supposed to know how each other taste but he doesn’t care because it’s her and it’s always been her.

When they finally pull away, Shawn’s gasping for breath and Y/N’s eyes are as wide as saucers as she realizes what has just happened. “S-Shawn. Your PR contract…”

“Fuck the PR contract. Let’s give the world something real.” And their lips connect again, for the paparazzi cameras and the whole world to see.

#shawn mendes fic #shawn mendes angst #shawn mendes imagine #shawn peter raul mendes #shawn mendes #shawn mendes fluff #shawn mendes x reader #shawn mendes x y/n #shawn mendes x you

[stuckinapatriarchalbullshitland]

Enzo anon here - the more this era is progressing, my theory about gaymila being used as damage control and for profit seems to be happenening.

I have some thoughts that I know many other CS share, i think it would be good to summarise what i’ve seen on different blogs into one post as well as adding my own theory. So this will be a long one but i hope you guys find it insightful and Stuck thank you again for giving me a space on your blog!

Let’s look back on CC2 and the aftermath of its release. A quick disclaimer : I’ll only be addressing her situation in terms of the social/PR aspect as we have no idea what other factors might be at play such as contracts and money etc.

It’s fair to say that C was and is not in a good place reputation wise. Señorita was of course a smash hit but was mostly used to promote S. Her fans complained about C almost becoming a double act with S. These fans understandably signed up for C, not S and so subsequently most of them unfollowed her on SM and stopped paying attention to her to escape the constant Showmila. For the GP, Showmila became a mockery and so it’s asking a lot from her fans to stay when she was constantly embarrassing herself to the point that it made it uncomfortable for them. Of course with this comes the racist controversies also involving Normani which brought back the entire 5H feud. This put C even further than she already was against LAND and so the narrative that she was hated by the other girls for being obnoxious and attention seeking was further reinforced by her being racist towards N. All of this made/makes Camila extremely easy to hate, to the public she seems like a privileged straight girl who has never once had any sort of difficulty or obstacle in her life.

On the CS side of the fandom, many having left after having enough of the Showmila circus, leaves very few CS to fight back against the narrative. Even more leave after Lauren’s bombshell of a podcast. For example, this graph from google trends show how searches for “camren” or “camila cabello camren” are/were decreasing.

We know that CS are a very large part of C’s fanbase so who are we left with ? Many solo C stans all have converted into SS accounts and again even then S takes the main focus, not C. So… its not looking good, having people being fans of yours only for your relationship is a risky move business wise. We’ve all wanted Showmila to end for a long while and we definitely can all agree that the end is long overdue, infact a lot of us believe that had there not been the pandemic they would’ve broken up a while ago. So where does C stand now? Well, in my opinion, after this entire circus (which unfortunately is still ongoing) C is in a very vulnerable position. How does she promote her upcoming album with so much of her fanbase gone? Perhaps a big break up album? That option doesn’t sound great when she most likely will get the short end of the stick narrative wise and be further disliked by the little fans she does has left. If Camila doesn’t have Shawn anymore, the SS will most likely all disappear leaving her with a very limited amount of people who have the guts to actually publicly support her. Another option she could have is to keep riding on this relationship until people get bored, only that’s already happening and Showmila does not have the punch it once did to get a second Señorita. What about a fake pregnancy or a marriage? God we hope not and I really believe that Camila would do anything in her power to avoid that as we’ve seen how extremely unhappy she seems just being his girlfriend. For all we know Shawn might be very against this idea too and even if they did go along with it would it really be enough to promote CC3 ? After a few weeks the excitement would have died down again and leave them both back to square one. Not to mention that C getting married/pregnant would make even some of her most dedicated fans leave for good and would still not be enough to get her out of the racist accusations.

This is where my theory comes into play, however i think her team will only follow through with this if they are smart and if they aren’t actually sabotaging her. This past year I watched as Taylor Swift released her two albums and broke numerous records and achieved incredible success. I do not think this success would’ve been achieved had it not been for the insane rise in speculation over her sexuality due to her new songs. T is of course a household name, she’s earned her place amongst the top artists of this generation but people were starting to get bored hearing dramatic songs about her oh so difficult love life being a straight white girl. This is why when folklore and evermore came out there was so much buzz and excitement about T possibly being LGBTQ to the point that it found it’s way to the GP. People were wondering what these gay songs with gay lyrics were and so they went to listen for themselves. Eventually tons and tons of extra streams and talk generated from people who would’ve otherwise never paid attention. Myself included. You can see below on google trends the massive increase in online searches for “gaylor swift”. The gaylor side of tumblr also expanded as there had never been so many songs with so much queer interpretations to analyse and discuss and more and more of the GP were getting curious enough to read the blogs. Regardless if you think Taylor is gay or not, the general public discussing it was an essential part in improving her image for Gen Z and promoting her albums thus creating $$$ for her team and label.

Keeping this in mind, I believe that C might (not having many options left to salvage her career/reputation) take a page out of TS’s book and have an era that will attract more LGBT fans than ever before. We’ve seen how camren is slowly coming back. Even just by C liking a picture of L’s it was enough to bring back out a whole lot of fans who had abandoned her. Her team see this, they know this, they are aware. If talks of Camila being gay will generate more $$$ they will use that to their advantage and push out the new gay narrative as much as they can. I don’t think she will explicitly come out any time soon, and i don’t think that they will “confirm camren” but this era will definitely set her up for it in the future like the way it has for TS and it will give her a stable fanbase for a long while, which at the moment she is in dire need of.

Although C would’ve probably liked her relationship with L to remain private I think she may have no other choice but to use it more than she ever has before to save herself. Sadly no amount of self improvement and apologies will ever erase her racist past, it will follow her forever and people will never stop talking about it, unless there’s something more interesting to discuss. That’s the way the internet works, a photo of camren together in 2021/2022 would generate more buzz than anything Showmila related. Not only would all of the CS who left come back but all the anti-CS would be talking about it too and an entire wave of new fans would be interested enough to join. There would be no room to talk about Camila Cabello being racist when Camila Cabello is actually gay/dating Lauren Jauregui is the new talk.

Of course this entire process will not be instant but we can see that they are building up to something like that. Perhaps Camren being public friends again which would still generate a ton of talk as it did back in the 5H days. She will not instantly break up with S and then be seen making out with L the next day but I do think that although it wasn’t her or her teams plan to use her relationship/sexuality, i think she has no other choice if she ever wants to gain favour with the public again. Let’s not forget that the rest of 5H seem to be on their way to having new music out very very soon and just as camren worked to promote 5H in the old days it will work again in 2021/2022. This would encourage her team even more to follow this route as it would suit everyone, even if they no longer are a group they will always be connected.

We shall wait and see what happens, of course circumstantial situations may arise to cause them to switch up their plans but for now all this 5H, camren and gaymila interactions are no coincidence. That’s for sure.

This concludes my very long post! thank you to anyone who took the time to read this, thank you again to Stuck and if anyone has anything else to add that i might have missed or any questions don’t hesitate! I love hearing what everyone else has to say. To clarify these are all my personal thoughts and speculations and I am not claiming to know anything for certain.

____

Wow, I didn't expect to be a window into another great submission from my dear buddies, but Enzo, I loved your post. And I really totally agree with you in what you mentioned.

The truth is that it is true, Camila has been selling her LGBT + agenda of hers since 2020 and even long before because I always had the theory that she would be let out after having a big heterosexual PR circus. This PR circus with the diva is that circus and what we have been seeing, because it checks all our theories.

As for Gaymila, she has always been there. More crushed with the fucking circus shit maybe, but she's always been there and one thing I want to emphasize is that most of Camila's fandom other than SS or homophobic, would accept Camila out of the closet, ALWAYS AND WHEN NOT WITH LAUREN.

That is why I think Camila would have more followers if the aforementioned are left aside, because they would have no problem supporting her and we would be more, considering that those clowns are partly paid fans and bots.

I don't think she will even give him permission to leave her, but if she does it is because that would also be part of her contract. Of her agreeing to do all this theater of the absurd with the circus, as long as they let her out at the end.

The fucking shit hole that is the industry knows that it has to please its LGBT + audience because we are the ones who support artists the most. The main audience for them may always be heterosexuals, but when they get bored and look for something else, the ace up their sleeve will always be the community and with the examples that you have given my dear Enzo, that is proof of it.

The thing with Camila is that she's never been in the closet. They forced her into a closet and that's different. Camila always felt good being herself and they have tried to cover that with different types of circuses since she was in the band because it is what suits business.

What we are seeing now with Camila is that, a double agenda, that of the circus managed by the idiots behind it and Camila's own agenda that lets us see Gaymila from time to time.

And when I talk about an agenda, I do not do it in a negative way but as something that she must have already planned.

My theme now is that it will come in that aspect. I don't think I'm waiting for a circus engagement or a lavender marriage, but I do hope that Camila can set Gaymila freer every time. Unfortunately, everything else is still very screwed up and this circus just represses it more and more.

The problem is that as long as she does not regain some control over her career and her image, no matter how small, nothing will change.

#submission #enzo anon #love you buddy