#and when i see a character that i see myself in getting infantilized it's just . yeowch !!! | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

sepublic · 6 months

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People -and this did include myself at one point- really don't want to engage with the fact that Belos is modeled after white supremacy by trying to bury this under the lens of "Oh he's actually a lonely weirdo like Luz!!!" when Belos' superiority complex is the most important part of him and it's where all analyses inevitably must stem from. I think the problem is that people are too attached to their speculative fanon version of Belos and instead of letting go of that to rebuild their understanding of him from the ground up (since he's a mysterious character who is only gradually revealed bit by bit), they keep clinging to this sympathetic tragic villain as the core behind their interpretation of him.

Everything about Belos makes so much more sense when you explore him as someone akin to a lot of right-wing 4channers; A lonely young boy who was radicalized because white supremacy promised to rescue him from his isolation, and after buying into it wholesale, he very much chose to cling onto the need to be superior to the "NPCs" even when someone close to him actually unlearns and deconstructs for him why this is harmful. He sees firsthand how someone just like him is happier for leaving this mindset, and then kills them to eliminate that contradiction threatening his world belief; At which point it’s inaccurate to infantilize him as just a lonely and misguided kid, because he’s no longer a kid and he made a very cognizant and informed choice to double down and commit actual violence.

And everyone knows that by this point, such people are not actually being sincere; They’re not secretly misguided, you can’t simply attribute their harm to not knowing better because this is what their religion says or whatever. These people know they’re committing harm, but rather than help on “lesser” people’s terms, they ‘help’ the way THEY see fit, in the way that strokes their ego. That’s what separates Philip from someone like Gwen, who humbled herself to focus on what Eda was saying she really needed. So the Titan’s summarization of Belos as someone who only cares about being the hero in his own delusion, and fears what he can’t control is… hardly an oversimplification, it really gets to the core of Belos as a character, and the narrative he embodies. It captures the difference between wanting to help and having a savior complex, and is what ends up delineating the two at the crucial crossroads.

And I find it a little concerning to joke about how this type of character is “just a silly guy” when people exactly like him are on the rise and committing very real violence right now. It’s also why I don’t buy the justification behind a lot of salt about how villains need to be humanized in order to show kids how THEY can become villains, because the show is fairly outright about how Belos rationalizes atrocities under the guise of the ‘greater good’ and refuses to self-reflect, and it’s not as if we don’t have Luz learning to understand characters like Amity or Lilith, the Collector and even Kikimora (whom she DID relate to personally, yet Kiki still doubled down with or without Belos), while still having the show emphasize that they need to get their act together and can’t just depend on people to save them.

There’s also the very obvious theme of Luz realizing she doesn’t owe her oppressor anything, especially not when he won’t ever meet her or anyone else on their terms, but idk some people just seem to hate Luz for having boundaries I guess, even though she already put in the effort to be kind and understanding to Belos and she got hurt for it. Hell the Collector made that effort after being inspired by Luz, and Luz was murdered protecting them from that mistake!!! There are some very obvious stories and lessons being told here with the actual protagonists being the heart of those narratives, but the problem I’ve noticed is that a lot of the people complaining on Belos’ behalf are those who hyperfixated almost exclusively on the Wittebane aspect of the lore, going over it with a fine tooth comb and microscope to extrapolate an entire fanon from the littlest of details… only to just ignore the actual show and narrative and themes happening on-screen.

And that leads to many not understanding various narrative decisions because they weren’t really paying attention to the actual point they’re in service to, and then they blame the writers for their own chosen ignorance, and how the story wasn’t about their part specifically so everything else doesn’t count and the whole show is wasted potential, really. The way so many of said fans immediately turned on Luz after the finale and tried to drag her down to Belos’ level by acting like she wasn’t any better for also wanting things and 'demonizing enemies', claiming Luz had unaddressed ‘flaws’ while Belos deserved more sympathy, and framing Belos as a ‘better’ character who ‘worked harder’ while claiming Luz was retconned into an arrogant chosen one who never grew, is actually baffling.

A lot of them are just upset that Belos didn’t play the role in Luz’s arc that they wanted him to play, so they’ve opted to dismiss Luz’s overall storyline as badly written and even a reflection of Dana's 'Catholic complex' (which is a tasteless jab to make) because they neglected the nuance behind every other aspect of Luz that wasn’t directly tied to Belos, that didn’t set her up as the one person who understands him or whatever because that’s more important to them than addressing the sheer trauma and pain that Belos willingly inflicted upon Luz. Because god forbid this brown girl be angry against her white abuser, huh? God forbid the white guy be used to set up the brown main character, rather than the other way around right????? It’s really just a jealous complaint about the show’s choice of priorities and celebration, hidden under the false guise of ever caring about Luz’s arc for Luz’s sake.

And that’s how you get insincere arguments about how Belos should’ve been able to survive, that’s how you get AUs that undermine the lessons of canon to egregiously relegate Luz to being Belos’ sidekick, or even present her as an obstacle to him getting his much-needed redemption, as if that last part hinges on all of Belos’ victims getting over their pain to help him, because obviously he needs it more than they do! Because we gotta spare Belos’ feelings by giving him friends instead of consequences!!! Unbelievable. He is not Amity, not Lilith, and definitely not Hunter, and the people who forgave them had actual reason to do so. And even Lilith had to move in with her mother so she could be given reparations by someone who actually owed it to her, rather than her younger sister and two kids.

And there’s definitely a major difference between Lilith and Gwen’s dynamic and Philip and Caleb’s, especially since Caleb was also a child when he moved into Gravesfield. Even if you think Belos' bigotry was radicalized due to 'grief' over losing his brother to witches, that's just entitlement and control because it's not as if Caleb can't have more than one positive relationship in his life; Philip is no better than people who blame minorities for some incident in their life and use that as justification to become white supremacists, and there's nothing sympathetic or 'tragic' about that.

But the point is that Caleb ultimately wasn’t THAT important to Belos because he’d always be secondary to witch-hunting, Belos clearly chose his white supremacy over his brother, and any ‘takebacks’ that come in the form of the Grimwalkers are insincere given Belos does nothing to actually repent or regret his violence committed on the people of the isles; It’d have been one thing if he DID try to undo his mistake by choosing differently, by cloning Caleb and giving up witch hunting, but he still doesn’t (Note that Belos does not hallucinate the ghosts of the witches he killed; He still feels no remorse over them, because his fear of being wrong comes from a selfish place). And unlike Luz, Belos can’t have it both ways because one option explicitly calls for the extermination of the other; It’s the Paradox of Tolerance that Luz struggled with, except contrary to what Belos claims, humanity’s existence does not require the eradication of others.

Because yes there IS a meaningful moral distinction between Luz and Belos -don’t forget they’re not just parallels but explicit opposites- that occurs even before you get into the genocide, not that you should neglect that other part either because it’s incredibly important, being the starting point for this entire rant. Society already has a bias towards devil’s advocating bigotry as some big misunderstanding, and prioritizing the angst of white dudes who commit it over the victims of color; Can we avoid applying that to fiction?!??!? I literally saw someone complain that the show didn’t portray Belos’ grief from murdering Luz, and that Luz’s “glory moment” took away from a Wittebane backstory!!! At this point, people are just being racist.

#the owl house #emperor belos #philip wittebane #luz noceda #caleb wittebane #vent #rant

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sm-baby · 4 months

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As someone with debilitating anger issues and a lot of projected and internalized contempt towards people especially when I slip into a depression and worse in my teens and I've come a LONG way Carnival Jax is like Cathartic for me if that makes sense like he's an awful guy but he's also just some dude who happens to be mentally ill with what I assume to be suicidal ideation while I don't appreciate any of the "He's baby!!! Misunderstood!" and "He's literally evil incarnate" which the latter is more close to the truth due to his chosen BEHAVIOR the infantilization is bothersome as he doesn't deserve to be coddled and excused for his chosen behavior but I do appreciate when it's touched upon he's as mentally ill as everyone there and coping what I find so cathartic of him is like the fear of what I could've been and almost was but also I'm not despite my biggest fears I am while I see a little of myself in everyone actually as someone Not Well and this is him at some of his worst and I'm Not That and "I'm better than you motherfucker" while I do wish better for him and wish things could've been different or something because I unfortunately see in him what I could've been things will never change it's just set in stone he's a bad guy while he's not well he made his bed and he's lying in it I'm making a mess of this ask but my point was some he'd bad, he's just some dude, he's reaping what he sowed, I kind of wish(ed) better for him, I see a lot of him in me, I see a lot of myself in him, I didn't end up like him and I feel I won in some manner, so why doesn't it really feel like a win to me all in all I just kind of feel Bad for him while acknowledging He Did This so it's so complex to juggle wanting better for him when he doesn't deserve it I find him fascinating though he may never get better and I like when people spin off interpretations where things Could've been different/better but it's almost like solving a fight in your head with someone irl as that solution wasn't real and thay fight still was and you may never be able to fix it sorry I'm rambling I hope this wasn't all too annoying also while this was highlighted on Jax I do adore Everyone in rhe Carnival is similar/varying manners as someone unwell myself I just Wish they could have their happy ending as it feels like patients let loose in a psych ward with no supervision or help and so they just kind of get worse especially because they can't leave and can't. Die.

I think this is really sweet. I read this a long time ago and I think this is a wonderful way to look at/sympathized with his character. I hope you're doing ok anon.

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ooc-themis-cattails · 1 month

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Can I just say how much I appreciate the diversity of ace identities in ISAT and all the detail about it?

(spoilers ahoy)

I love how at first Sif sees the porn scroll as "people doing fun things" but later admits it doesn't interest them at all. Their first response is to say what they know they're "supposed" to think it is, what everyone else is probably going to think it is. But then they learn that it's really ok to admit that they're not into it.

At first Sif is like "why does Beau like me?" but after a while they start to find him cute because they understand the emotion behind his feelings, and while they're not sure if they can actually take it as far as a sexual relationship, they're interested in figuring it out, because for them, that doesn't gross them out, it's just not a drive. This is so relatable to me and I love seeing it bc it's not the typical ace in fiction where like, this character is ace so we mustn't put them in a ship because we should assume it'd gross them out. Sif can be ace but not entirely horrified by sex, and Sif may be romantic (I don't know if even Sif knows whether they are romantic or not)-- I suspect they are demiromantic because it's the intimacy and familiarity of Beau's emotions that makes them start to feel things about the moment by the tree, to the point where they miss it when he doesn't try.

Mirabelle going through the dating service papers is the most wonderful scene because this is what it was like to be ace when I was in my early twenties. Most people didn't know it was a thing, and friends/family were very helpfully concerned that you should find a partner in order to not be alone, because the theory was that it was a basic human need for everyone. I did exactly what Mirabelle did, and had the same kind of reaction: "I have to pick one of these people to try dating because I have to figure out how to be sexually interested in someone so that I can do the whole partnership thing that everyone says you need to do in order to have a fulfilling adult life." Looking at pictures of people trying to figure out how to be attracted to them, or what you like, when the answer is really that you're just Not. And you're kind of torn because some part of you knows that this isn't going to work, but the other part of you legit believes that it's like staying hydrated, you have to do it for your own good even if you're not thirsty.

Mirabelle's being into fictional romance and shipping, just not into doing it herself, is also such a good detail. I'm not aro so I can't speak to that myself, but still, it's a thing. She's emotionally invested in the dynamics between people, she loves watching the details of how they play out, and that's completely separate from ever wanting to do it herself. I've seen it in others and I definitely get that from the perspective of an ace person reading smut-- you can very much enjoy a dynamic without wanting to BE in the dynamic yourself.

Sif coming to understand how attraction works from the outside: "Wait, you can't choose who you get a crush on? That explains so much!" The line made me wince because it's so self-deprecating-- they're probably thinking they're not good enough for Beau-- but I also very much appreciate the realism of how... nobody explains to you how attraction works because they assume you know what it's like, and you probably don't ask because it's embarrassing if they assume that you're an immature late bloomer with no experience of the world, rather than someone who will never have a libido no matter what they've seen. It's so easy to feel infantilized or to infantilize yourself if you're not comfortable with your ace identity. Both Mirabelle and Sif are young enough that they struggle a bit with whether this is really their identity or whether they've just not figured it out yet. In reality, at their age, this probably IS who they are. But they're also a bit hesitant to rule it out because it's really hard to know that you are NOT something, and (given that Mirabelle hadn't really considered the possibility that she's aroace) the culture doesn't seem to have a lot of representation or support for the idea. It's obvious to the player, well, if this is how they feel, then they're ace! But neither one of them can quite settle on that for sure. Because, unlike being attracted to someone where you can go "well that sure did happen", being not attracted to someone is a nonproof. So Mirabelle keeps trying, and Sif doesn't know that their reaction will seem valid to others (as evidenced by the change in how they describe the scroll). Odile, who is aro and who seems to be not entirely ace but isn't exactly the thirstiest plant in the garden, has a different position. She seems to pretty much know where she's at, which makes sense for her age, but we can't really tell if she's always been okay with it or if it's been an issue. We don't know if Ka Bu is a more uptight culture, or how long society has been normalizing non-hetero identities, but we do know she had no female role models, so if any of this heteronormative business was an issue, I imagine it contributed a lot to her feeling of outsiderness. I'd love to know more about how Odile's sexuality impacted her life but she's obviously not about to infodump it on a bunch of 20 year olds, so it remains a mystery. Nonetheless it's pretty great that there's an older aro character, illustrating that people have always been this way, it's just easier for young people to discover it now because they feel more allowed to not be heterosexual. [eta: @butterflyknifepoisoning reminded me that I've misremembered this and Odile isn't actually aro, she's had hatecrushes before and explained them to Mirabelle. Which I kind of sort of remember now! Not sure why I thought she was aro, my memory is crap sometimes. It's still a far cry from yamato nadeshiko, but yeah. Point taken]

...In the end, I find it extremely refreshing that there's a whole RPG party here and only ONE of them experiences sexual attraction, and it's a flamboyant gay-seeming dude with a poorly-kept-secret crush on an enby they/he. ISAT is so cool, it's the best aroace representation I have seen in fiction so far ever.

#isat #in stars and time #ace spec #ace representation

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antimony-medusa · 9 months

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Please Consider The Implications Of Assigning Every Character Dad In The Tag, I Am Begging You

Okay so we have to discuss something here.

I know a lot of people are coming in QSMP from DSMP, where the primary fandom focus, so to speak, was on underage creators. In that setting, and in an environment where people are heavily against shipping, assigning people into a family dynamic makes sense. I have my woes about the flattening nature of family dynamic but seeing a few teens and a few adults and going “siblings and parents” makes sense.

Not every environment in this world is that environment though, and sometimes certain dynamics in an open environment has *connotations*. In the same way that if you have a parent helping a child bathe that’s one thing but two adults in the shower is an entirely different tone, in the same way that an adult threatening to punish a teenager is either corrective or abusive, depending on the setting, but an adult threatening to punish another adult tends more towards “kinky”, if you have Grown-Ass Adults who are like 12 years apart in age and you are insisting they have parent/child pseudo-adoptive relationship, you did not necessarily make it automatically platonic, you just made it kinky. Looking at an older man and going “Dad” and getting the warm and tinglies about that and the idea of them taking care of you when you are an adult— there’s a term for that. That’s a Daddy Kink. That’s where Daddy Issues jokes come from. That’s not a thing where the first or only read is platonic. Platonic reads certainly exist, but for your broad open audience of the whole internet it’s not necessarily the first thing they think of. It’s literally fine but guys. Please. I’m dying here.

I have no problems with a daddy kink, it’s one of the myriad ways to navigate the mysterious knot of impulses that is human sexuality. You can even do kink in a non-sexual way, and plenty of people interact with kinks like fearplay, vore, bondage, hypnosis, predator/prey— I could keep listing them here— you can interact with that in a way that is honestly non-sexual. But that doesn’t mean it’s non-kinky. You are doing a kink. It’s fine to be doing a kink. I am an adult talking to adults about this. Kink is fine. But like, you have GOT to realize at some point what you’re putting in the tag.

I’m fine with shipping! I’m fine with kink! I just would like the kink on my dash to acknowledge that it’s kinking on something!

If you find older people strangely compelling and you want to trust them and you want to call them dad and have them take care of you/a different character you’re focused on, that is fine. If you want to focus on the relationship between a “parent” and their “little” who are both adults, again, fine. Honourable way to navigate the world. We all have fun here.

But I am BEGGING you to realize that certain dynamics have connotations when everybody involved is adults, and constantly going on about how someone is dad-coded or dad-shaped when you are not like, 15, it has a *vibe*. It has a vibe is all I’m saying! And it’s not a platonic vibe!

If you are looking at someone who is 21 fucking years old and you are focused on finding them a dad from an assortment of men who are just over a decade their senior, you are either infantilizing them like whoa or you are doing a daddy kink i am sorry to tell you. If you are constantly talking about how someone who is a decade older than you is dad(dy)— like, please. This is inescapable. My kingdom for people who approach my guys without this lens. If I have to see you doing this to Niki Nihachu I’m going to throw myself into the sea.

#QSMP #philza #fandom meta

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thesublemon · 16 days

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best picture

For the first time in a long time, I watched all of the movies nominated for Best Picture at the Oscars this year. Partly on a whim, partly for a piece I’ve been working on for a while about what is going wrong in contemporary artmarking. I cannot say that the experience made me feel any better or worse about contemporary movies than I already felt, which was pretty bad. But sometimes to write about a hot stove, you gotta put your hand on one. So. The nominees for coldest stove are:

Poor Things. Did not like enough to finish. I always want to like something that is making an effort at originality, strangeness, or style. Unfortunately, the execution of those things in this movie felt somehow dull and thin. Hard to explain how. Maybe the movie’s motif of things mashed together (baby-woman, duck-dog, etc) is representative. People have been mashing things together since griffins, medleys, Avatar the Last Airbender’s animals, Nickelodeon’s Catdog, etc. Thing + thing is elementary-level weird. And while there’s nothing wrong with a simple, or well-worn premise, there is a greater burden on an artist to do something interesting with it, if they go that route. And Poor Things does not. Its themes are obvious and belabored (the difficulty of self-actualization in a world that violently infantilizes you) and do not elevate the premise. There’s a fine line between the archetypal and the hackish, and this movie falls on the wrong side of it. It made me miss Crimes of the Future (2022), a recent Cronenberg that was authentically original and strange, with the execution to match.

Anatomy of a Fall. Solid, but not stunning. The baseline level of what a ‘good’ movie should be. It was written coherently and economically, despite its length. It told a story that drew you along. I wanted to know what happened, which is the least you can ask from storytelling. It had some compelling scenes that required a command of character and drama to write—particularly the big argument scene. The cinematography was not interesting, but it was not annoying either. It did its job. This was not, however, a transcendent movie.

Oppenheimer. Did not like enough to finish. But later forced myself to, just so no one could accuse me of not knowing what I was talking about when I said I disliked it. I felt like I was being pranked. The Marvel idea of what a prestige biopic should be. Like Poor Things, it telegraphed its artsiness and themes and has raked in accolades for its trouble. But obviousness is not the same as goodness and this movie is not good. The imagery is painfully literal. A character mentions something? Cut to a shot of it! No irony or nuance added by such images—just the artistry of a book report. The dialogue pathologically tells instead of shows. It constantly, cutely references things you might have heard of, the kind of desperate audience fellation you see in soulless franchise movies. Which is a particularly jarring choice given the movie’s subject matter. ‘Why didn’t you get Einstein for the Manhattan project’ Strauss asks, as if he’s saying ‘Why didn’t you get Superman for the Avengers?’ If any of this referentiality was an attempt to say something about mythologization, it failed—badly. The movie is stuffed with famous and talented actors, but it might as well not have been, given how fake every word out of their mouths sounded. Every scene felt like it had been written to sound good in a trailer, rather than to tell a damn story. All climax and no cattle.

Barbie. Did not like enough to finish. It had slightly more solidity in its execution than I was afraid it would have, so I will give it that. If people want this to be their entertainment I will let them have it. But if they want this to be their high cinema I will have to kill myself. Barbie being on this list reminds me of the midcentury decades of annual movie musical nominations for Best Picture. Sometimes deservingly. Other times, less so. The Music Man is great, but it’s not better than 8 1/2 or The Great Escape, neither of which were nominated in 1963. Musicals tend to appeal to more popular emotions, which ticket-buyers and award-givers tend to like, and critics tend to dislike. I remember how much Pauline Kael and Joan Didion hated The Sound of Music (which won in 1966), and have to ask myself if in twenty years I’ll think of my reaction to Barbie the same way that I think of those reviews: justified, but perhaps beside the point of other merits. Thing is. Say what you want about musicals, but that genre was alive back then. It was vital. Bursting with creativity. For all Kael’s bile, even she acknowledged that The Sound of Music was “well done for what it is.” [1] Contemporary cinema lacks such vitality, and Barbie is laden with symptoms of the malaise. It repeatedly falls back on references to past aesthetic successes (2001: A Space Odyssey, Singin’ in the Rain, etc) in order to have aesthetic heft. It has a car commercial in the middle. It’s about a toy from 60 years ago and politics from 10 years ago. It tries to wring some energy and meaning from all of that but not enough to cover the stench of death. I’d prefer an old musical any day.

American Fiction. Was okay. It tried to be clever about politics, but ended up being clomping about politics. At the end of the day, it just wasn’t any more interesting than any other ‘intellectual has a mid-life crisis’ story, even with the ‘twist’ of it being from a black American perspective. Even with it being somewhat self-aware of this. But it could have been a worse mid-life crisis story. The cinematography was terrible. It was shot like a sitcom. Much of the dialogue was sitcom-y too. I liked the soundtrack, what I could hear of it. The attempts at style and meta (the characters coming to life, the multiple endings) felt underdeveloped. Mostly because they were only used a couple times. In all, it felt like a first draft of a potentially more interesting movie.

The Zone of Interest.Wanted to like it more than I did. Unfortunately, you get the point within about five minutes. If you’ve seen the promotional image of the people in the garden, backgrounded by the walls of Auschwitz, then you’ve already seen the movie. Which means that all the rest of the movie ends up feeling like pretentious excess instead of moving elaboration. It seemed very aware of itself as an Important Movie and rested on those laurels, cinematically speaking, in a frustrating way. It reminded me of video art. I felt like I had stepped through a black velvet drape into the side room of a gallery, wondering at what point the video started over. And video art has its place, but it is a different medium. Moreover video art at its best, like a movie at its best, takes only the time it needs to say what it needs to say.

Past Lives. I’m a human being, and I respond to romance. I appreciate the pathos of sweet yearning and missed chances. And I understand how the romance in this movie is a synecdoche for ambivalent feelings about many kinds of life choices, particularly the choice to be an immigrant and choose one culture over another. The immigrant experience framing literalizes the way any choice can make one foreign to a past version of oneself, or the people one used to know, even if in another sense one is still the same person. So, I appreciate the emotional core of what (I believe) this movie was going for, and do think it succeeded in some respects. And yet…I was very irritated by most of its artistic choices. I found the three principal characters bland and therefore difficult to care about, sketched with only basic traits besides things like Striving and Being In Love. Why care who they’d be in another life if they have no personalities in this one? It’s fine to make characters symbols instead of humans if the symbolic tapestry of a movie is interesting and rich, but the symbolic tapestry of this movie was quite simple and straightforward. Not that that last sentence even matters much, since the movie clearly wanted you to feel for the characters as human beings, not just symbols. Visually, the cinematography was dull and diffuse, with composition that was either boring or as subtle as a hammer to the head.

Maestro. Did not like enough to finish. Something strange and wrong about this movie. It attempts to perform aesthetic mimicry with impressive precision—age makeup, accents, period cinematography—but this does not make the movie a better movie. At most it creates spectacle, at worst it creates uncanny valleys. It puts one on the lookout for irregularities, instead of allowing one to disappear into whatever the movie is doing. Something amateurishly pretentious in the execution. And not in the fun, respectable way, like a good student film. (My go-to example for a movie that has an art-school vibe in a pleasant way is The Reflecting Skin). There’s something desperate about it instead. It has the same disease as Oppenheimer, of attempting to do a biopic in a ‘stylish’ way without working on the basics first. Fat Man and Little Boy is a less overtly stylish rendition of the same subject as Oppenheimer, but far more cinematically successful to me, because it understands those basics. I would prefer to see the Fat Man and Little Boy of Leonard Bernstein’s life unless a filmmaker proves that they can do something with style beyond mimicry and flash.

The Holdovers. Did not like enough to finish. It tries to be vintage, but outside of a few moments, it does not succeed either at capturing what was good about the aesthetic it references, or at using the aesthetic in some other interesting way. The cinematography apes the tropes of movies and TV from the story’s time period, but doesn't have interesting composition in its own right. It lacks the solidity that comes from original seeing. (Contrast with something like Planet Terror, in which joyous pastiche complements the original elements.) The acting is badly directed. Too much actorliness is permitted. Much fakeness in general between the acting, writing, and visual language. If a movie with this same premise was made in the UK in the 60’s or 70's it would probably be good. As-is the movie just serves to make me sad that the ability to make such movies is apparently lost and can only be hollowly gestured at. That said, the woman who won best supporting actress did a good job. She was the only one who seemed to be actually acting.

Killers of the Flower Moon. The only possible winner. It is not my favorite of Scorsese’s movies, but compared to the rest of the lineup it wins simply by virtue of being a movie at all. How to define ‘being a movie’? Lots of things I could say that Killers of the Flower Moon has and does would also be superficially true of other movies in this cohort. Things like: it tells a story, with developed characters who drive that story. Or: it uses its medium (visuals, sound) to support its story and its themes. The difference comes down to richness, specificity, control, and a je ne sais quois that is beyond me to describe at the moment. Compare the way Killers of the Flower Moon uses a bygone cinematic style (the silent movie) to the way that Maestro and The Holdovers do. Killers of the Flower Moon uses a newsreel in its opening briefly and specifically. The sequence sets the scene historically, and gives you the necessary background with the added panache of confident cuts and music. It’s useful to the story and it’s satisfying to watch. Basics. But the movie doesn’t limit itself to that, because it’s a good movie. The sequence also sets up ideas that will be continuously developed over the course of the movie.* And here’s the kicker—the movie doesn’t linger on this sequence. You get the idea, and it moves on to even more ideas. Also compare this kind of ideating to American Fiction’s. When I said that American Fiction’s moments of style felt underdeveloped, I was thinking of movies like Killers of the Flower Moon, which weave and evolve their stylistic ideas throughout the entire runtime.

*(Visually, it places the Osage within a historical medium that the audience probably does not associate with Native Americans, or the Osage in particular. Which has a couple of different effects. First, it acts as a continuation of the gushing oil from the previous scene. It’s an interruption. A false promise. Seeming belonging and power, but framed all the while by a foreign culture. Meanwhile potentially from the perspective of that culture, it’s an intrusion on ‘their’ medium. And of course, this promise quickly decays into tragedy and death. The energy of the sequence isn’t just for its own sake—it sets up a contrast. But on a second, meta level it establishes the movie’s complicated relationship to media and storytelling. Newsreels, photos, myths, histories, police interviews, and a radio play all occur over the course of the movie. And there’s the movie Killers of the Flower Moon itself. Other people’s frames are contrasted with Mollie’s narration. There’s a repeated tension between communication as a method of knowing others and a method of controlling them—or the narrative of them—which plays out in both history and personal relationships.)

Or here’s another example: When Mollie and Ernest meet and he drives her home for the first time, we see their conversation via the car’s rearview mirrors. This is a bit of cinematic language that has its origins in mystery and paranoia. You see it in things like Hitchcock or The X-Files or film noir. By framing the scene with this convention, the movie turns what is superficially a romantic meet-cute (to quote a friend) into something bubbling with uneasiness and dread. This is not nostalgia—this is just using visuals to create effects. It doesn’t matter if you’ve seen anything that uses the convention before, although knowing the pedigree might add to your enjoyment. The watchfulness suggested by the mirrors and Ernest’s cut-off face will still add an ominous effect. It works for the same reason it works in those other things. Like the newsreel, it is a specific and concise stylistic choice, and it results in a scene that is doing more than just one thing.

In general, the common thread I noticed as I watched these nominees, was the tendency to have the ‘idea’ of theme or style, and then stop there. It’s not that the movies had nothing in them. There were ideas, there was use of the medium, there was meaning to extract. There were lots of individually good moments. But they tended to feel singular, or repetitive, or tacked on. Meanwhile contemporary viewers are apparently so impressed by the mere existence of theme or style, that being able to identify it in a movie is enough to convince many that the movie is also good at those things. The problem with this tendency—in both artists and audiences—is that theme and style are not actually some extra, remarkable, inherently rarifying property of art. Theme emerges naturally from a story with any kind of coherence or perspective. And style emerges naturally from any kind of artistic attitude. They are as native as script, or narrative, or character. A movie’s theme and style might not be interesting, just like its story or dialogue might not be interesting, but if the movie is at all decent, they should exist. What makes a movie good or bad, then, is how it executes its component parts—including theme and style—in service of the whole. When theme is well-executed it is well-developed. Contemporary movies, unfortunately, seem to have confused ‘well-developed’ with ‘screamingly obvious.’ A theme does not become well-developed by repetition. It becomes well-developed by iterationand integration. Theme is like a melody. Simply repeating a single melody over and over does not result in the song becoming more interesting or entertaining. It becomes tedious. However, if you modify the melody each time you play it, or diverge from the melody and then return to it, that can get exciting. It results in different angles on the same idea, such that the idea becomes more complex over time, instead of simply louder.

Oppenheimer wasprobably the worst offender in this regard. Just repeat your water drops, crescendoing noise, or a line about ‘destroying the world’, and that’s the same as nuance, right? Split scenes into color and black and white and that’s the same as structure, right? That’s the same as actually conveying a difference between objectivity and interiority (or another dichotomy) via the drama or visual composition contained in the scenes, right? When I watched many of these movies, I kept thinking of a behind-the-scenes story from Buffy the Vampire Slayer. The story goes that Joss Whedon was directing Sarah Michelle Gellar in some scene, and when the take was over he told her how great she was, and that he could see right where the music would come in. And Gellar replied that if he was thinking about the music, he clearly wasn’t getting enough from her acting alone. This conversation then supposedly informed Whedon’s approach to “The Body,” a depiction of the immediate aftermath of death that is considered one of the best episodes of television ever made, and which has no non-diegetic music whatsoever. Not to imply that music is necessarily a crutch, or to pretend that “The Body” is lacking in other forms of stylization (it is a very style-ish episode). But more to illustrate the way that it is easy to forget to make the most of all aspects of a medium, particularly the most fundamental ones, once one has gotten used to what a final product is supposed to feel like.

And that’s why most of these movies don’t feel like movies. They create the gestalt of a movie or a ‘cinematic’ moment—often literally through direct vintage imitation—without a sense of the first principles. Or demonstrating a sense of them, anyway. Who needs AI when the supposedly highest level of human filmmakers are already cannibalistically cargo-culting the medium just fine.

[1] “The Sound of Money (The Sound of Music and The Singing Nun).” The Pauline Kael Reader. (This book contains the full text of the original review, rather than the abbreviated review that I linked earlier.)

#posts: art #movies #am rusty at blogging and don't have all the virtuous nuance i would like in this but we will go with it

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autistichalsin · 5 months

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Hi, I hope you're doing well? I love your analysis of Halsin and I like him even more now that I understand him better.

Just recently I saw a post about Halsin degrading (?) himself when he propositions to the player and that he's happy with being just with them but he won't keep them from finding happiness with others. From what I gathered, since he's a mature wood elf, being poly is very much okay for him but I need your expertise here. Is Halsin _really_ ok with being "just" another boyfriend or does he think of himself as not worthy enough to be an "only" boyfriend?

I'm doing alright, just trying to power through this final essay for my epidemiology class! I'm glad to hear you feel like my posts make you understand him better <3333

Hm. So... I want to say this delicately because I don't want to demean those who have this interpretation, but I have noticed that this fandom has a real tendency to try to patholologicize sexual behaviors it deems outside the norm. All three of the characters who consent to polyamory with Halsin- Karlach, Shadowheart, and Astarion- have had many people trying to make it sound like they don't actually consent, and in Astarion's case, trying to link this to his trauma despite canonical evidence to the contrary. It reads like an attempt to infantilize, especially Astarion, and make it seem like anyone who consents to polyamory must have something "wrong with them" to do so; that there has to be a "reason" for polyamorous relationships, and that reason has to be that there's something "wrong" with the characters. They can't say no, they are manifesting trauma, they are afraid to be left single, they are using polyamory as a tool to commit mental/emotional self-harm. Needless to say, I really don't like this.

I like it even less with Halsin, because he is a wood elf. Polyamory is the default for his culture. Treating his social practices like they're the result of him being "broken" is really wrong, to me. Why don't we pathologicize Lae'zel, who comes from a culture that practices polyamory by default, being monogamous? "Maybe her monogamy is because she's too insecure in her attachment to embrace polyamory." "Maybe her trauma with being unvalued in her culture has left her too afraid to understand polyamorous relationships." It never happens, because our culture is monogamous, and therefore people want to explain away deviation from our particular set of norms.

Halsin is "traumatized and poly", not "poly because he's traumatized." The devnotes in the scene where Halsin first explains being poly specifically state, several times, that he's being sincere and that this is a core belief of his. Halsin isn't reluctantly accepting crumbs of affection because he thinks it's all he can get; he loves the player, is secure enough to know it doesn't need to compete with anyone else's love to be special, and is happy to see how the relationship unfolds now that he is free of the Shadow Curse.

He's not degrading himself by entering into such an arrangement; if anything, entering a relationship where he refuses his nature would be a degradation. Monogamy would be the degrading "abandoning who he is to beg for mere scraps of affection" option for Halsin.

I know it all comes back to the "you are all I want" option, but I think people are misinterpreting it. There was a silent "right now" at the end. He didn't mean he would never want another; he meant at that moment, the player was the only one he had his eyes on, but obviously that wasn't true for the player.

People say that Halsin never manifesting that interest later is an indication that he isn't real, but he does manifest it; if rejected at Sharess' Caress, he states his intention to basically go get laid elsewhere. He is receptive to the idea of having a threesome with Mizora one day if the player lightheartedly suggests it ("don't let me talk myself out of a night to remember all the time...")

These aren't committed relationships, no, but Halsin has little contact outside of the group to begin with. And as he says, his heart doesn't stir easily. He is very open to sex, but committed relationships aren't as much a part of his normal life; the player is all but said to be extraordinary for awakening those feelings in him. He hasn't had much room for deep romantic love in his life.

The lines- saying he wants others to enjoy the player, while he only wants the player- are simply reflecting the reality that at this point, the player has another lover, while Halsin has no other people he is interested in. That's all it is.

Again, I think Halsin would find settling for a monogamous relationship to be much more degrading than a polyamorous one, personally.

#halsin #halsin silverbough #bg3 #baldur's gate 3

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harukapologist · 5 months

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rambling about Haruka

As an ND person I just hate how Haruka's character is either completely infantilized or reduced to a selfish, evil murderer, when, to me, he is so much more than that.

Especially the latter; I hate when any MILGRAM character is called evil because what's the point of MILGRAM, then? They're all morally grey! That's how they test us. But Haruka in particular because I feel like it comes from a place of ableism, intentional or not.

I'm not sure if I should put TWs, but well I talk about ableism, murder (obviously lol), childhood trauma and well... it's Haruka

Haruka's outburst in the VD and his implication of killing animals (I know it's basically canon but erm... i can explain why I think it's an implication later) (i just finished writing the post and actually i explained why at the bottom of the post but its not a full explanation so lol) are the reasons I see people calling him either evil or childlike, and while I do think that Haruka is stuck in a childlike state in some aspects, this is emotional dysregulation of an ND and/or traumatized person, to me.

The uglier sides of being ND/traumatized, the ones that get heavily stigmatized and seen as intentional or evil; I think this was a display of one of them. And I really wish to see more people focusing on Haruka's disability in the ways it can affect his communication and day-to-day life skills more than "oh, poor baby, he has a disability that makes him feel unwanted" without actually understanding the details of the disability and, well, the reason why it is a disability.

Like, the emotional dysregulation that comes with being autistic, which is my headcanon for him. The hyperempathy and literal thinking that might make him harder to communicate with, and get people frustrated with him more often.

That and being severely neglected; I think neglect is one of the lesser discussed forms of childhood trauma and the fact that Haruka was shown to be neglected as well as abuse really means a lot to me, because I think some people don't quite understand just how much neglect and isolation fucks you up.

All those factors combined are a recipe for an unstable, impulsive, clingy shell of a human, and him getting called evil for that really saddens me. It's important to remember that these MVs are extracted from the prisoners' own memories and thoughts. It comes from their perception of their surroundings, their murders, and their own selves. The manic look that Haruka has on his face for a lot of AKAA, for example. The makeshift shirt he's wearing, as if he's desperately trying to sew himself together into a normal person, the exhausted, frustrated look when he picks up the necklace, it's important to remember that this is how he sees himself. A monster who has lost control of himself. The line "I'll keep killing to be your good boy" was a shock, but the way he meekly apologized to Es at the end of his VD, I really think that shows that he feels guilty, that he wants to convince himself more than anyone that he was a good person, that he was really trying to be one despite how his unlucky life frustrated him to his breaking point.

As for his infantilization, it has already been addressed by many thoughtful members of the fandom and I'm grateful to see that, but I also want to say it myself since god knows I hate being patronized.

It feels very ableist saying he's just "someone stuck in a childlike mindset/age regressor" Yes, and how does age regression as a coping mechanism develop? Usually through prior trauma that makes you "stuck" at said age, and that can present differently. It can be longing and yearning for a simpler time, for an actual happy childhood, or having flashbacks to a traumatic event that happened at a certain age; it is not uncommon for trauma survivors to be "frozen" at the age their trauma took place.

I think both of these are the case for Haruka. Frozen at that moment, but trying to reduce himself to nothing but a little, unaware child to avoid reliving it again, relishing in the innocence and purity of his good younger times (emphasis on purity--Haruka's murder was by strangulation, yet there's a shot in AKAA where he's covered in blood. I know it's after he killed the animals, but he's in the stitched-together outfit here; I think there's more to this MV than just killing the animals. Since this outfit is... not very likely to be worn in reality, did the animal killing happen at all? Even if it did, I think this shot remains an indicator that he sees himself as impure; guilty. I have a LOT to say about the inconsistencies in Haruka's MVs, but I'll save that for later... Anyway, back on topic) It is NOT "having the mental capacity of a child, so being unable to date etc." Haruka has still lived 17 years, maybe even more, since he isn't too interested in remembering his age. How do you treat actual neurodivergent people if this is how you see him?

When I rewatch the MVs, relisten to the VDs, reread the interrogations and timelines, I see no evil, just an incredibly broken, misunderstood person.

#please excuse any inconsistencies or spelling mistakes its almost 5am ive been awake all night lmaooo #im open to discussion but pls be nice :(#im a relatively new milgram fan (got into it just when ILY MV came out—got hyperfixated oct/nov) so please inform me if I say anything wrong #i love haruka so so much aaugh #i will defend him till my last breath #milgram #sakurai haruka #milgram project #haruka sakurai #jay rambles bleh idk #should i even tag this #i feel so scared to share my thoughts on the milgram prisoners AAA i hope everything makes sense

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wc-confessions · 1 month

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As a lesbian I have to agree with the anon mentioning the seeming fetishization of female characters in Warriors. It seems very popular to pair each and every single female cat with each other no matter the compatibility or other concerning factors simply because it’s WLW. I’ve also actually encountered some comment sections of ship discussions where people will straight up say X ship is immediately the best because it’s lesbians despite the ship being discussed is toxic or having a large enough questionable age gap. I also dislike the culture of pairing female cats with another female cat who was abused by the same mate or both had shitty partners. Not everyone who is on their own healing journey is compatible with someone else also on their own healing journey. Sometimes it can make it worse, from personal experience. I don’t see it much where people let the female characters simply take some time to heal in their own time and pace without a female partner to “cure them”. It’s usually portrayed as “they’re both better now because they’re lesbians so they’re both healed now no questions asked they’re immediately happy no problems at all they’re lesbians look at them my lesbians!” which is… kinda weird? I mostly see this with Moonlight and Squilf which is it’s own can of worms given that Moonlight literally kidnapped Squilf and is sexist to toms, which I doubt Squilf would stand for since her own sons adopted and blood related to her are toms and she loves her children no matter their identity. It makes me feel like lesbian love life in Warriors fandom spaces is often stemmed with this weird “UwU my gay babies they’re in love and they’re babies they’re gay babies” energy and I don’t like it. The anon that described it as like being akin to pairing dolls up said it best.

I think it’s more common with new fans and “baby’s first WLW ship” like Mothpool, but it’s still annoying and kinda weird. I’m a Mothpool shipper myself and there’s certain fans of it that I refuse to interact with because of above reasons. I hate when some people infantilize the ship making Leafpool seem like a “dumb naive baby who is helpless and weak and can’t save herself” and Mothwing is her “big strong duchess in armor coming to save her”. Yes, I’ve actually seen comments and artwork depicting this sort of dynamic and it feels off. Why portray it like this? Also it portrays Leafpool OOC?

Okay sorry it got long I just really wanted to get it off my chest. All I’m saying is to please not fetishize lesbian love. It only harms us in the end and does us no good. Ship things with respect for the orientations it is centered around and stop treating these ships like this. Signed, a real life lesbian.

#text #confession #anonymous #warrior cats

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collegeishardbutwritingisharder · 1 year

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When the little brother gets intimidated or hurt: Riddle, Leona, and Azul edition. Short stories(?)

@asillylitteseabunnyay had another wonderful idea and I got permission to write it!! I hope once again that I can do this justice. I tried to make all of the part equal but Azul's fell a tad short. Apologies. Also sorry for taking so long for not posting. I'm just trying to make sure that my writing is the highest quality it can be for people to read.

Warning: Yandere, death (Minor characters), injuries, infantilization (Maybe? Ashengrotto does get spanked), other things that I don't know how to tag.

Riddle Rosehearts

I felt a shiver crawl up my spine. That same Savanaclaw student is staring at me again. He's been staring at me ever since I started attending class with Riddle. It was only the second day of my punishment from exploring the forest.

He wants something from me but he hasn't said a word. It's honestly quite unnerving. I felt myself shake slightly. Riddle was too absorbed with the lesson to notice my discomfort. Not surprising because normally stuff like that doesn't get under my skin.

I slightly turned my head to look the Savanaclaw student in the eye. His eyes were just blank. Somehow that's worse to me than a glare full of emotions.

The bell rang which signaled that class was over. I started to help Riddle with his belongings and we quickly left the room to head back to the dorm.

"Come along, (Y/N). We have to start making preparations for the next unbirthday party."

"Yes, my Queen."

Next thing that I knew, someone stuck out their leg and tripped me. The books that I was holding went flying across the hallway. Thankfully, my reflex training kicked in and I caught myself before I completely fell onto the floor.

"(Y/N)!"

I turned my head to see who tripped me. It was the same Savanaclaw student from earlier. His eyes were still as dull as they were in class.

"Heh, so the rumors are true. A dumb little boy with strength. You'll be a perfect punching bag."

I turned my head towards Riddle to see him frozen with shock. It seems that this guy's words shocked Riddle to his core. The next thing that I knew was that my neck was grabbed and lifted far above the ground. My windpipe was being slightly crushed by his hand.

"Since your body is stronger, that means you can take more punches."

I started flailing my legs around, hoping for one of three things to happen. Either my leg would hit him and get him to release my throat, or I would stall long enough for either Riddle or a faculty to get this man to stop. Sadly, none of my preferred situations came true.

The guy punched me right in the middle of my chest, knocking the air out of my lungs and I think that I even heard one of my ribs crack a tiny bit. I opened my mouth to let out a scream but because of how tight his hand was around my throat, it couldn't escape.

"OFF WITH YOUR HEAD!!"

Thank you, Riddle!

I started trying to regain air in my lungs with the fact that my windpipe has been allowed to reopen. I lifted my head to watch what was happening. With the Savanaclaw student now dazed, Riddle was just launching spell after spell at him. It was getting really messy. Riddle was only stopped after other Heartslabyul students restrained him.

I let out an audible gasp. I was finally able to regain the air in my lungs. I stood up and went over to Riddle and just gave him a hug. This was one of the few things that I knew that I could do to calm him down.

"Calm down, Riddle! I'm not too harmed!"

Riddle calmed down but I could tell that he was still glaring at the guy who punched me.

"WHAT IS HAPPENING HERE?!"

Professor Crewel came stomping down the hallway towards the injured student and both of us. He didn't seem very pleased with us.

"I mildly expected this type of behavior from Savanaclaw students but from you, Mr. Rosehearts? Not even in my worst nightmares."

"My deepest apologies, Professor Crewel. But you know that I wouldn't act out in such a way unless a rule was broken."

"And which rule was broken?"

"NRC has a rule that says that there will be no fights on campus. That student attacked my brother unprovoked and broke one of his ribs. The only way that I knew to dissuade him from causing more harm to my brother was to make him unable to."

"Hmmmm. I can understand the reasoning. Although I will still be having a talk with you later, Mr. Rosehearts. For now, take your brother to the infirmary to get him checked up on. I'll handle this trouble maker for now."

"Thank you, Professor Crewel. Come along, (Y/N)."

"Yes, my Queen."

I wrapped my hand around my broken rib and started walking with Riddle towards the nurse's office. I felt the anger flowing off of Riddle. I don't think that that Savanaclaw student is free from Riddle's rage just yet.

"Hey, Riddle?"

"Hmm?"

"You don't need to be angry anymore. You did quite the number on him and I'm pretty certain that Professor Crewel isn't going to let him off of the hook that easily."

"..."

Silence was not what I was hoping to hear. Silence meant that Riddle was thinking deeply and with what just happened, I really didn't want him thinking that deep.

We eventually made it to the nurse's office. The nurse gave me an ice pack and told me to stay on the bed for a while. I looked over at Riddle for permission. He gave me a nod before speaking.

"(Y/N). Your punishment is over. Now, since you're injured, you are relieved of your usual duties."

I opened my mouth to get Riddle to stay but he walked out in a rush before I could say anything. A bad feeling sunk into my stomach. The events of today caught up to my body and I fell asleep.

I don't know how long I was out for but when I reopened my eyes, I saw Deuce asleep with his head on the side of my bed.

"Deuce? What are you doing here?"

My voice sounded so rough for the fact that I had just woken up from what seemed to be about a six hour nap.

"Huh?! Oh! (Y/N)! You're up! I was tasked by Dorm Leader Riddle to keep watch over you while you slept. He also told me to bring you back to Heartslabyul when you woke up."

"Hmmmmmm. Did he tell you why he couldn't be here himself?"

Deuce stayed silent for a minute, looking up at the ceiling. It seemed that he was trying to remember if Riddle gave him a reason or if he was just happy to be able to watch over me.

"I'm not certain anymore. I sort of walked as fast as I could away from Riddle after he gave me my task."

Deuce then gave me a sheepish smile. I return a knowing smile. I don't make fun of Deuce for trying to be an honor student which gets me brownie points with him.

"Oh! We need to be on our way! I nearly forgot to take you back to Heartslabyul."

"Right. Let's see if my body is willing to let me move."

I swung my legs to the side of the bed and stood up. I felt a sharp pain in the left rib cage area but after the initial movement, I could move easier. I still had Deuce assist me with walking in case the pain decided to spike up once again.

A lovely conversation broke out between the two of us. Hearing the antics of Yuu, Deuce, Ace and Grim plus others is always enjoyable to hear. Sometimes I wish that I would be able to join them on one of their crazy events but Riddle would never allow me to.

We made it back to Heartslabyul where there seemed to be mild chaos stirring about. I don't think that I've ever seen Heartslabyul so disorganized since Riddle's overblot incident.

"Excuse us but what's happening?"

"Riddle and Leona are having a fight in the Rose Maze!"

"WHAT?!"

Deuce and I picked up the pace to the middle of the Rose Maze to see Riddle basically pick Leona up with his magic and send him flying into a thorny rose bush. The thorns were clearly sharper than the normal ones for the fact that he was bleeding quite a bit.

"GRRRR! WHAT IS YOUR PROBLEM?!"

"Are you going to discipline your dorm members finally?"

"NO!"

"Then we're not done yet."

Despite Leona already being badly injured and with thorns now stuck in his body, Riddle showed no mercy and shot multiple spells at him. He even got Cater to use Split Card to send more spells Leona's way. They're going to kill him!

"Leona-Senpai!"

Deuce was obviously freaked out as well. It's not everyday that you see people nearly destroy someone for no reason. Whipping out my own magical pen, I quickly casted a spell around Leona's foot to swing him out of the way. Of course, it worked but I didn't really think about where I was swinging him. Leona was launched straight into Deuce and myself, creating a sort of dog pile.

"AHH!"

"UGH!"

"OOF!"

I need to start thinking past stage one of my plans. Leona put a lot of pressure on my recently broken rib which got me crying out in pain.

"Well, maybe if you weren't trying to play hero, you wouldn't be in more pain now."

"Oh please, if (Y/N) didn't just launch you halfway across the world, Riddle and Cater's spells would completely fried you alive."

"(Y/N)!"

Riddle's voice broke us out of our fantasy world and triggered what seemed to be a flight response in Leona. He booked it out of there before any more spells got fired. Riddle rushed over to where Deuce and I were laying on the ground and let out a huff in anger.

"Great, he got away. He needs to be more firm with his dorm members or else, we get stuck with more scenarios like today."

"It's not Leona's fault that one of his dorm members punched me and broke my rib."

"It wouldn't have happened if Leona just actually stepped up as a dorm leader and had his members under control."

Riddle's tone was icy cold. I could tell that changing his mind once again was going to be difficult.

"How about we forget Leona for now and help me inside? I think that the Leona impact accidently reversed all of the healing that my rib got."

Riddle looked down at me and his eyes softened a bit. He kneeled down and helped me to my feet. He steadied me and we trekked back to our shared room.

I laid down on the bed, ready to go to sleep. I was expecting Riddle to join me but instead, he went to the door before telling me that he'll be back in a short while. I nodded my head. I was originally planning to stay up until Riddle came back but my body decided that it had taken enough abuse and that it wanted to sleep the pain off.

*Riddle's POV*

As much as I wanted to join my brother in sleep, I still had a job to finish. Since Leona won't take it upon himself to discipline his dorm members, I'll do it myself.

"Cater."

"Huh? Oh, hey Riddle."

Cater seemed nervous when talking with me. Might be because of what I made him do earlier. Well, I need a similar favor now.

"You're more connected with other dorm students. What can you tell me about..."

Cater and I had a long, extensive talk about this Savanaclaw student. Cater was able to find him on the internet and get even deeper with some older accounts that he had. I was grateful for the new information on this guy. Makes what I'm about to do more justified.

"Thank you, Cater. You've been of great help to me."

"Not a problem, Dorm Leader Riddle! Umm, just to make sure, you're not going to do anything brash, right?"

Cater let out a small nervous laugh and I only turned my head to look at him from the corner of my eye. He stopped quietly laughing when he saw the look in my eye. That man hurt my younger brother, tomorrow, there will be a price to pay for what he has done.

I quickly made it back to my room and fell asleep next to (Y/N). I'm glad that he was able to sleep with his injury. I'll make sure that the members from the other dorm will treat him with the respect that he deserves.

*(Y/N)'s POV*

Today is so much worse. So, so much worse. Riddle somehow got the Malleus Draconia to attack the Savanaclaw student that hurt me yesterday. My brain is still trying to make sense of the fact that Malleus came and turned the student into stone.

"Thank you, Malleus. I appreciate the fact that you were willing to help me. I will see to it myself that you get an invitation to the next unbirthday party."

"Not a problem, Riddle. When Silver told me that you requested my help with something, I wasn't expecting this. But it would be my greatest pleasure to be invited to an unbirthday party at Heartslabyul."

Malleus then left the two of us alone with the student turned stone. My brain feels more and more fried. Riddle then came over to me and put a hand on my shoulder, snapping me back to reality.

"Riddle. Why would you do something like this?"

"Because. You're my little brother. Since you're my protector, I'll be yours as well."

Leona Kingscholar

Brother A:

"Holy crap, hurry up, Epel!"

"Sorry, (Y/N)! Ah should hav warned yawl thet yawl wuz walkin' straight into Rook's shootin' range."

Epel was trying to wrap the bandages tight enough to create a blood clot. Stupid Rook and his stupid shooting. I got an arrow straight in the leg because of him! I was this close to ripping off the Hunter's head! Thankfully, Epel calmed me down and is now healing my injuries.

"Is yawl okay, (Y/N)? Chur breathin' gist got heavier."

"Yeah, I'm just... trying to figure out what to tell Leona. He banned me from A: going to other dorms and B: Seeing you guys. He can be such a stick in the mud sometimes."

"Naw way! Leona don't hav thet type uh control ovur yawl! Yore not actually gunna gist leave us behind, raht?"

"Of course not! Leona may be my older brother but that doesn't mean that I'm going to listen to him. He doesn't listen to rules anyway. Why should I listen to his?"

"Thet's uh relief. Thayure yawl go! All patched up!"

"Perfect! Now, is it okay if I hung out in Pomefiore for today? Just to lay low. Leona won't step in here willingly and I was lucky enough to have lost Ruggie on my way here."

"Uh course, yawl can stay hare! Way gist hav tuh make shore thet Vil don't say yawl. Plus Ah can finally teach yawl how tuh apple carve!"

"Lead the way, my southern friend!"

I followed Epel to a T just to avoid Vil's line of sight. I don't want to know what will happen if Vil sees me. Sadly, it did seem that my luck wasn't running high today.

"EPEL!"

"Dagnabbit it."

"What exactly is (Y/N) doing here? And more importantly looking like that?!"

My clothes are not the problem here! They be comfy and I wear them anyway!

"Well, I thought that..."

"You thought what? Speak up, Epel! How many times have I told you to not mutter!"

"I just thought that it would be okay if (Y/N) stayed here for a short while!"

Epel and Vil appeared to be in a stare off. Neither really willing to let this slide from the other. Amazingly, the saving grace here was Rook.

"Roi du Poison! Please forgive my interruption but Monsieur Brute's stay is partly my own fault! One of my arrows accidently found its mark in his leg, injuring him and ruining his beauty! Please allow him to stay here until his beauty returns back to its full glory!"

Did he just say that I have beauty? I guess that's actually not surprising from Rook. I remember when I was just talking with Jack and Rook appeared out of nowhere, fawning over Jack's dedication to his work out. Jack was creeped out while I found it funny and started joining Rook in the fawning. I think I made an accidental friend that day.

"Hmmmm, considering the fact that (Y/N) was injured on Pomefiore grounds, I believe that it's fair for him to stay. But! He must act and look like a member of Pomefiore until he can go back."

"What."

"For starters, your wardrobe. Second, your makeup and finally, your manners! Rook, please go take (Y/N) to the sewing room to get him fully fitted!"

"Of course, Roi du Poison!"

"W-wait a minute. Hold it!"

My words did nothing to stop Rook from pulling me into a random room. Next thing that I knew, I was put into an official Pomefiore uniform and was getting my hair and make up done by random Pomefiore students.

"Ouch! Either you start pulling less on my hair or I'll start pulling on your limbs!"

"Sorry! I've just never had to deal with such tangles before."

My threat got through because the student stopped tugging on my hair whenever he came across a tangle. Although during the make over, a certain smell reached my nose. The smell of blood. More importantly, my blood.

I looked down at my bandaged leg to see the entire lower leg of my outfit was drenched in blood. I needed to go see the nurse badly.

"Oh my goodness, what is that smell?!"

And now the other students have noticed it as well.

"Calm down, that's just my leg. I need to go to the nurse's office."

"Do you want some help getting there?"

"Nah, I'll be just fine getting there. Thanks for the offer though."

I started trudging my way out of Pomefiore. The last thing that I really needed was to make more of a mess for the students to clean up. I'm used to bleeding out and making my way to health and safety. This will be no different.

"Monsieur Brute!"

Okay, maybe a tad different.

"What do you want, Rook?"

"I overheard what was happening. Please allow me to assist you!"

"You really don't need to."

"Non-non, Monsieur! It's my fault that you ended up like this in the first place!"

"What?"

My ears twitched at the new voice. Ruggie. I quickly turned my head towards Ruggie to see him just standing there with a weird look on his face.

"Leona's not going to like this."

"Ruggie, don't-!"

Before I could even get my sentence out, Ruggie ran off to Leona. Crap.

"Rook. Run and hide."

"Pardon?"

"Just trust me on this."

Rook, thankfully, didn't take my advice lightly before running back into Pomefiore. I quickly turned in the direction that Ruggie went before running as fast as I can to try and catch him. My injury is very limiting right now for trying to catch people.

"(Y/N)? What ARE you doing?"

Oh boy.

"Hiya, Jack."

"Is there a reason as to why you're bleeding from your leg?"

"I got shot."

"And that's all that I needed to hear."

"Wh-what are you doing?!"

Jack picked me up and put me on his shoulders. He took off to Savanaclaw.

"Where are you taking me?!"

"Where do you think? To Savanaclaw so that you can relax while healing!"

I let out a groan before laying my head on top of Jack's. My leg started to ache so bad that I felt tears starting to form in my eyes. I felt my hand clench around Jack's arm with my nails digging into his flesh.

"Uuuuggghhhh. This is painful."

"Not used to pain?"

"Normally, I can dodge fast enough or I have adrenaline coursing through my veins that prevents the pain from coming through. This is the first time that I've actually let a wound of mine sit long enough for it to ache. I'm not used to it."

"Hmmmm."

We finally reached Savanaclaw only to run into Leona standing right in front of the mirror, looking quite cross.

"Crap."

"Drop my brother."

"He's injured."

"I said drop him."

Jack cast an apologetic look before just dropping me on my butt. It upset my leg quite a lot.

"Rgh!"

"You deserved that for not listening to me. Didn't I tell you not to go around to other dorms anymore?"

"Well, in all honesty, you're a jerk. Second of all: you don't listen to authority yourself. What gives you any right to dictate over what I do with my life?"

"Because I'm your dorm leader and your older brother. That gives me twice the power that I have over you."

"Yet, how many times have I defeated you and Falena in a fight?"

"You wouldn't win in a fight in your condition now."

"Want to test that?"

Leona and I were having a stare down, neither of us really willing to back down from what we said.

"Found him!"

I turned my head to see Ruggie, running with two other Savanaclaw students who seemed to be dragging a certain blonde hunter by his arms behind him.

"Oh no..."

"Well done."

"This took too long! He put up a really good fight but he wasn't able to fight off all three of us!"

Rook did look worse for wear. His clothes were all ripped up and there were plenty of scratches littering his body. Ruggie and the two Savanaclaw students weren't in great shape either. They all seemed to have small scrapes, most likely from Rook's arrows, and just overall, really dirty. Pomefiore's forest wasn't as clean as Vil tried to make it appear.

"You've got a lot of nerve, hunting my own brother, Hunter."

"S'il vous plaît! Roi des Lions, I would never try to hurt (Y/N)'s raw beauty on purpose! It would bring shame to the message that I try to spread!"

"Stop your gibberish. It's giving me a headache."

I started to stand up before Leona just kicked my bad leg to keep me down.

"If you know what's good for you, you would stay curled up there."

Leona then grabbed his staff before walking over to Rook.

"Leona! Seriously, this wasn't his fault!"

"Don't care."

Leona stabbed his staff deep into Rook's leg. The same leg that I got shot in.

Rook's screams pierced the air, causing my ear to flick down to try and prevent the awful noise from coming into my head. Sadly, it didn't work. It seemed that one stab wasn't enough for Leona to get his frustration out. He stabbed the same leg multiple times in different spots.

I quickly stood up before tackling one of the Savanaclaw students, who happened to be standing in line with Leona. He slammed into Leona, catching him off balance and sent him tumbling. I was quick to get the staff out of Rook's leg before pulling out my pen to heal him.

Rook, somehow staying conscious of all of this, pulled out his own pen and started firing spells to prevent any of them getting close to us.

"I apologize deeply for this, Rook."

"Non. Once again, this isn't your fault, Monsieur Brute. I can only hope that Vil has gotten the message that I sent him."

"What message?"

My question got answered real fast when I saw more spells being sent from elsewhere. Vil stepped through the mirror and quickly made his way to Rook.

"Are you alright, Rook?"

"Roi du Poison! I could be doing better but I'll be just fine, now that you've graced me with your beauty one last time!"

"Stop being a drama queen. You're going to live. Thank you, (Y/N) for defending Rook until we were able to arrive. You'll always be welcomed to Pomefiore for a retreat if you need one."

"How about a transfer? I might need one soon."

Vil only gave me a slight smile before rushing Rook off. I felt a smile creep onto my own face as well. It's really weird to make friends. My joy didn't last though for the fact that I was quickly tackled to the ground by a Savanaclaw student. I tried to get out from underneath him but he put all of his weight onto my injury.

"Stop it, you idiot! Are you trying to make me lose my leg completely?!"

"Take him to his dorm room. It's quite obvious that he hasn't learned his lesson yet."

I was picked up and rushed off to my dorm room. After I got dropped to the floor, the door slammed and locked within a matter of seconds.

"Yeah, yeah. LOVE YOU TOO GUYS!"

I struggled to stand up and sit down on my bunk. They're really trying to break me, aren't they? Well, that doesn't mean I'll let them. Come at me with your worst, Leona. I'll always come out on top.

Brother B:

That guy keeps staring at me. I don't understand what's so interesting about me? I'm just waiting tables! Maybe I could get Jade to talk to him for me? No (Y/N)! Just as Leona has always told you! Be more assertive! You can take care of him!

I took a deep breath before scanning my surroundings once again. The Mostro Lounge always looked really pretty during the evenings, which is a major reason as to why I prefer these shifts over morning or afternoon ones. Finally, I looked over to the table with the Diasomnia student and we made eye contact. I flinched at the visible perk that the guy did when I finally gave him attention. I swear if that guy was staring at me because Floyd didn't take his order again.

I took long strides over to the Diasomnia student before stopping by his table. I gave him a closed eye smile before speaking.

"Good evening, sir! Do you happen to need something from me?"

"I would appreciate it if I could have your number."

My eyes popped open at his request. It freaked me out to say the least. I've never gotten that type of attention before. I mean, I have but those were princes who were requesting for my hand in marriage, thinking that I was a girl. I gave it a few seconds to mull in my brain before shaking my head no.

"Sorry, sir. But I'm not comfortable enough to give just anybody my number."

"Well, then, what if we did something to no longer be just anybody to each other?"

"Well, I appreciate the offer, sir but I'd rather not though."

"Come on, please."

"No, sir."

I turned on my heel to walk away but he grabbed my wrist in a bruising grip.

"Ow! Ow! Let go, sir!"

"No. I'm not going to just take no from a spoiled little prince. You're not going to have anybody who will be willing to give you the time of day ever yet you have the guts to reject me!"

"Sir, please let go! I don't want to have to call in Floyd to remove you from the establishment!"

"What? You're not strong enough to get me out yourself? What a weakling! How did you even get into NRC?"

I felt my resolve melting away. I'm always willing to give people more and more time to redeem themselves before I take matters into my own hands. But this time, I had a feeling that I needed to get my point across.

"Eh~~~~ What's goi-"

"I'm the captor of hearts, I'm the collector of heads. My words are absolute. OBEY ME!"

The man let me go and I felt my anger flare up.

"HOW DARE YOU EVEN THINK OF PUTTING YOUR HANDS ON SOMEONE YOU IS ONLY TRYING TO ASSIST YOU?! LEAVE THE LOUNGE AND DON'T EVEN THINK OF COMING BACK!"

I quickly dispelled my magic to avoid consequence towards my body. The Diasomnia student's body, obviously affected by my magic, left the Mostro Lounge. I quickly got my pulse back to a normal pace when I realized that the entire lounge was dead silent. I quickly spun my head around to realize that people were staring at me in shock, including Floyd, Jade and Azul.

I felt myself becoming more bashful before running over to Azul.

"Azul?"

I was whispering to avoid creating more of a scene.

"Is there any chance that I could go to Savanaclaw to visit my brother right now?"

Azul, still stunned speechless apparently, only nodded his head. I took that and ran. I quickly changed out of my uniform and back into my flowy clothes before making my way over to Savanaclaw. That was so embarrassing.

I made my way to the main Savanaclaw area where I saw a bunch of the dorm members just chilling or playing around. I ran over to one of them.

"Excuse me?"

"Huh?! Oh, it's just you, Prince (Y/N). If you're wondering where Leona is, he's actually at the stadium right now. Something about how we all were making too much noise."

"Thank you!"

I turned away from the Savanaclaw student when I heard a gasp from him. I turned back around and caught him staring at my wrist. I looked at it as well when I noticed a dark purple bruise circling my entire wrist. I knew that his grip was much too tight.

"Oh, I knew that was going to bruise."

"WHAT HAPPENED?!"

"Oh, nothing important. Just a rough customer. Don't you worry about it. Thank you for showing concern though!"

"NO, WA-!"

I ran off without hearing the rest of what he had to say. I only had limited time before I was expected back at Octavinelle and I still wanted to see Leona!

I saw my brother and rushed towards him. He was just watching the moon which was weird but I knew Leona felt a connection with the moon in some way.

"Leona!"

I hugged him from behind which actually got a chuckle out of him.

"Heya, (Y/N). What brought you here at this time?"

"I... had a really rough time at the lounge. There was this guy who was being a creep to me and I... completely overreacted."

Leona was quiet for sometime before reacting to my last sentence.

"What exactly happened?"

"Well, the guy who was from Diasomnia decided to be a real creep to me. He grabbed my wrist, see! Here's a bruise that he gave me! I lost my patience for a quick second because he was staring at me earlier. It really freaked me out so I used Obey Me on him and basically banned him from the Mostro Lounge."

Leona stared angrily at the bruise on my wrist before standing up. He grabbed me and started to carry me on his back.

"Leona?! What are you doing?!"

"We're going to have a little talk with Azul."

Leona rushed over to the Mostro Lounge before kicking the doors open, gaining the entire lounge's attention.

"Uh, welcome to the Mostro Lou-"

Leona grabbed Azul by his collar before dragging him into the V.I.P. room. He threw Azul over his desk before carefully placing me on one of the comfortable chairs.

"Listen up, cephalopunk! Is your little trashy business not a safe enough place for my little brother?"

"W-w-w-wait a minute! I try to make sure that the Mostro Lounge is safe for all of my employees!"

"Then how do you explain the fact that (Y/N) has a bruise on his wrist from one of your customers?!"

"We were taking care of it!"

"Obviously you weren't taking care of it as efficiently as you thought! Someone is going to pay for this. You have a decision here, cephalopunk."

"Oh really?"

"Either you tell me the name of the student who hurt my little brother or I'll drag the entirety of Savanaclaw to the Mostro Lounge to ruin it every night."

For the second time in the same night, Azul was stunned speechless by a Kingscholar. Azul quickly tried to regain his confidence and gave a smirk to Leona.

"There's no way that you would do that."

Leona only returned Azul's smirk with his own before walking out of the V.I.P. room. Oh boy, did Azul look like he was going to ink himself more than ever?

"Azul, you might want to reconsider Leona's offer."

Azul looked at me before plastering a smile back on his face. It was threatening to fall off at any minute.

"I'm not threatened by Leona's threat at all. I'm certain that he won't do anything. It takes effort to actually do what he's threatening. Also to make up for the fact that you did get injured on the job, I'm giving you the next three days off from work."

"You're going to need extra muscle to stop the entirety of Savanaclaw from entering the Mostro Lounge."

"Once again, (Y/N), you have too much faith in your brother."

Azul should have listened to me. I walked out of my dorm to go get some food from the kitchen to see the Mostro Lounge completely trashed with Savanaclaw students just making a mess of the lounge. I saw Leona laying on top of one of the tables, his eyes closed giving off the impression that he was sleeping. I also took note of the fact that Jade and Floyd, along with the rest of the employees, were tied up with a bunch of table cloths.

I let out a sigh before walking over to Leona. The rest of the Savanaclaw students gave me a lot of space to walk. They did not want to invoke Leona's wrath by hurting me either.

"Leona."

Leona didn't move but I knew that he heard me so I just continued on.

"Don't you think that you've done enough damage yet?"

I heard a door break before a lot of hollers followed shortly after. I saw Azul get dragged out of the V.I.P. room and throw over to where Jade and Floyd were to just get tied up as well.

"Now, I say that we've done enough damage. ALRIGHT BOYS! PACK IT UP AND LET'S GO HOME!"

All of the Savanaclaw students just started shouting more and rushing out of the Mostro Lounge, destroying more things in their wake. Leona only gave off a triumph smirk and air while he sauntered out of the lounge. A faint smile appeared on my face, it's been a while since I've seen Leona proud of something that he has done.

I quickly rushed over to where the tied up members of Octavinelle were and got to work untying them. The knots were quite tight so it took me longer than I truly wished for it to take.

The first person that I got undone was Jade. He was quick to stand up and help with untying the others.

"This was completely uncalled for."

"Well, it depends on how you look at it. Leona did give Azul the choice of either telling him a name or face this."

"(Y/N). I understand how important it is to love a brother, faults and all."

"Heeeyyyy!"

"But you shouldn't defend actions like those of anybody."

"Guess you can say that I'm programmed to defend Leona at every aspect of his life."

After about twenty minutes of untying, we got everyone untied and started cleaning up.

"Oh, we're going to be at such a deficit because of these damages."

"Well, if you don't want to have to spend all of that money again tomorrow, you should give Leona what he asked for. I have a good feeling that Leona will hold through with his threat still. Doesn't matter if you have nothing, he'll figure out what to take after that."

Azul appeared to be thinking over what I said before walking to his office. He came back out with his cane and snapped his fingers.

"Jade. Floyd. Come with me. We have business with Mr. Leona Kingscholar."

"Woo! No more cleaning!"

Floyd threw his broom which caused it to knock into the already broken plates and broke them even more.

"FLOYD!!"

"Hehehehe~ Whoops~"

I watched as the trio left. Maybe tomorrow will be an easier day. The bruise on my wrist started to fade a bit today which made it a tiny bit easier to clean and use it.

Today was not easier. Easier on the body yes but not for the sight in the main courtyard. The man who harassed me was strung up above one of the entrances to the main building. He appeared to be alive but he kept on coughing up sand. It seems as if Leona has gotten his way in the end.

Azul Ashengrotto

"Please, Azul! We don't even have to leave the Mostro Lounge, just anywhere out of this room!"

I was desperate to be let out of Azul's room. It had nearly been the two week long break that Azul wanted but I knew that I couldn't stand any longer. He kept coddling me, acting as if I was the three year old that he originally met.

"Now why exactly would I do that? We're having such a lovely time with just the two of us! You should be grateful that we get to bond at all. I feel bad for all of the little brothers who can't bond with their older ones."

I felt myself tense up with anger. Azul could be such a hypocrite when he wanted to be. That situation was literally us seven years ago! How could he have forgotten the pain that he inflicted on me so easily?!

"Yes, I apologize, Azul. I should have been more grateful."

I can't fight him at every turn anymore. I just don't have the willpower to do so.

"I'm glad that you finally recognized that you were acting like a toddler. Now, come here. I think that you need some cuddles to calm down."

Azul had a victorious grin on his face while spreading his arms wide open for me to set myself in. Another cage that he loved to put me in. I started to fidget with my fingers before walking over to him. I heaved myself onto the bed that he was sitting on before climbing into his lap. Azul gained a softer smile on his face before wrapping his arms around me and pulling me lightly into his body.

I felt his face burrow slightly into hair. He was letting out little giggles. He always did that when he was very happy. For example, he's been giggling for the entirety of these past two weeks.

There was a knock at the door, which made Azul stop giggling and let out a slight growl. Ha, that's what you get for imprisoning me. He lifted me out of his lap before setting me down on the bed. He nearly ripped the door off the hinges. I felt scared for the door.

"What exactly is so IMPORTANT that you have to interrupt the time that I've dedicated to my brother?"

If the person isn't a tweel, they are going to be in so much trouble tomorrow.

"Sorry, Azul. But we're having a bit of an issue. It seems that Yuu and their little posse are starting a fight in the common area."

It's Jade. I don't think that Azul could ever be mad at him. Even if he somehow killed me, I think that Azul and Jade would be on good terms.

Azul was looking worried at this fact and started looking between Jade and I.

"Alright, I'll be there in a few seconds."

Azul turned around, grabbed his cane and picked me up with one arm.

"I don't want you to feel cheated of time with me so, I think that this small excursion won't be such a bad idea. Although as soon as I get this fight sorted out, you and I are going right back into this room for a good cuddle session, okay?"

I only nodded my head, excited to see other people than Azul. It feels like it has been years since I've seen the Mostro Lounge. The lights in there felt like the stars that I would gaze at during my late night trips to the surface. If I was lucky enough to still have energy after finishing my homework that is.

"WHO IS YAWL CALLIN' UH GIRL?! AHL SHOW YAWL!"

I turned my head to a very feminine boy who appeared to be trying to fight a Heartslabyul student. He was being held back by a giant wolf guy and a mint green haired fae.

"Epel, drop it!"

"EPEL! STOP THIS UNRULY BEHAVIOR AT ONCE!"

"MAKE MAY!"

"Excuse me!"

Azul set me on the ground before running over to the fight and started to yell at both parties. I just watched in amusement at all of the fighting. It sort of reminded me of my best friends back at... middle school.

I miss those guys. (B/F/N) and (F/N) were some of the best people that I got to spend time with. They weren't jealous over what I had or what I could do. They just loved to spend time with me. I wonder what they're doing now though.

While I was deep in thought, I didn't notice the leaf shot that was coming my direction until it hit me straight in the face.

"OUCH!"

My eyes were in so much pain! The leaves that were swirling around got a clear hit at my eyes. I think that a blade did actually hit my retinas.

"(Y/N)!"

I heard Azul rush over to me and started to push my hands away to get a good look at my eyes. He forced my eyes open to quickly assess the damage. It seems as if the fighting had stopped since I was injured.

After about two minutes, Azul left out a sigh. Based on his facial expressions, it was most likely a sigh of relief.

"Thank goodness, no actual damage has been done to your eyes. But..."

Azul then stood up, having a death grip on his cane, and shot a spell towards the group suspending them all in the air.

"THE MOSTRO LOUNGE IS NOT THE PLACE FOR YOUR PETTY ARGUMENTS! THANKS TO YOU AND YOUR RECKLESSNESS, MY LITTLE BROTHER HAS BEEN INJURED! YOU ARE NO LONGER ALLOWED INTO THE MOSTRO LOUNGE! NOW, GET OUT!"

At the end of his little speech, Azul used the same magic to send the group of six first years and the offending Heartslabyul student and his group flying out of the Mostro Lounge's doors. Quickly regaining his composure, Azul looked over the rest of the guests who fell silent at the fight that was happening in the lounge. He quickly cleared his throat before talking.

"Apologies, loyal customers! Hopefully, we won't have another outburst again today but please do remember! The Mostro Lounge is a safe café for students to relax, not a risky bar for people to have fights in!"

Everyone seemed to go back to their own business after Azul had said that. Azul then quickly turned back to me and picked me back up once again.

"Let's get you back to the room so that I can patch you up, (Y/N)."

We ran back to the room and he took me into the small bathroom. He set me down on the sink counter before pulling out his magic pen.

"Oh, I should have known that taking my fragile little brother out into what could have been a war zone was a bad idea. You've gotten little cuts, haven't you?"

"I'm not completely defenseless anymore Azul."

My tongue moved before I could think.

"What was that?"

Azul's soft tone is gone now, I have no chance of that getting back soon. His gaze turned into a cold glare. I was in for it this time.

"Nothing, Azul! I said nothing!"

"Oh no! I'm nipping this in the bud before it gets out of hand."

Azul lifted me up before taking me back to the bedroom. He laid me, stomach down, over his legs before swatting my behind.

"If I seriously need to whack this into you, I will, (Y/N)! You are my baby brother! You will stop with the back talk and this rebellious behavior!"

I let out a cry of pain. This really hurts!

"Sorry! Sorry! I promise I won't do it again! Just stop please!"

"Hmmmmm, since you've already gotten hurt already, I think I can ease up on this punishment."

That's a relief. I hate punishments like these. They're so embarrassing and painful for me. Azul resituated me so that we were both lying down and that I was trapped in a perma-hug next to Azul's heart beat.

"I think it's a good time for you to take a nap. Doesn't that sound just refreshing, (Y/N)?"

"Uh huh."

I nodded my head as well. I felt a kiss be pressed to the top of my head before Azul's heart beat actually started to lull me to sleep. A perfect tempo to calm my racing thoughts.

*Azul's POV*

(Y/N)'s breathing has finally steadied out, which means that I could grab my phone for a quick text. I opened up the group chat between me, Jade and Floyd. I sent a quick text explaining exactly what I wanted to happen. It was one of those dim Heartslabyul students who sent the leaf shot (Y/N)'s way. I made it clear that I want him to be punctured like a pin cushion and a rose put into each of the holes. That was Jade's task. I told Floyd to give the Yuu first year group a good scare with a few scars to let them know what happens if you mess in the Mostro Lounge.

After I sent out my texts, I switched my phone to silent and set it down face first on my nightstand. I looked down to see (Y/N) just snoozing away. He was so adorable! How on earth could I not recognize his cuteness before?

"I was such a fool when I was younger. I'm going to make it up to you now."

That was a promise that I was going to keep to him.

#yandere #tw yandere #yandere x reader #platonic yandere #yandere twst #yandere twisted wonderland #yandere x child reader #child reader #ooc #yandere riddle rosehearts #yandere leona kingscholar #yandere azul ashengrotto

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aho-dapa · 2 months

Text

A personal rant on Nesta and Elain’s relationship and how I feel about it

TW: tbh this is a very personal rant for me given that my perspective on life informs how I see these characters (mostly Elain) neglect, abuse, parentification, fucked up family dynamics basically

For framework of this post, I'm anti sjm, anti IC, and pro character nuance even when it comes to the IC

Yknow, reading ACOSF was actually so difficult as someone who really wanted to see more nuance in Nesta and Elain’s relationship

I hate that Feyre actually used Elain’s packing of Nesta’s old home behind her back as a weapon against her, that it reinforced Nesta’s isolation

I hate that we never really understand what happened between Elain and Nesta before this moment, just that somehow someway Nesta was at fault and Elain was ‘justly’ hurt by Nesta, I hate that we, as readers, never even get the possibility to decide for ourselves

I hate that when they do finally talk to each other it’s this:

Elain: “I know the circumstances got your coming here were awful, Nesta, but it doesn’t mean you need to be so miserable about it.” (In reference to Nesta literally being confined to the House of Wind after getting evicted unjustly by the IC, in which Elain was willingly used against Nesta)

Nesta: “You tell yourself there’s nothing that could have been done because it’s unbearable to think that you could have saved him, if you’d only deigned to show up a few minutes earlier.” (In reference to Elain not being able to save her father and implicitly shaming her for it, noted, this is also a response to the above which matters)

Like, the fuck??

Where was the build up to this moment? Where was the reason?

For one, it’s so gross of Elain to invalidate what Nesta is going through, and is also gross of Nesta to place that blame on Elain

It’s just fucking gross all around

And I would have been okay with it, if it was fucking resolved by the end of that huge ass book, but it’s not

They don’t even talk about it, just a small joke and a truce at that ball, and they don’t even talk about the actual painful shit they said to each other

A personal note on this topic:

I’m gonna be honest, I like Elain (to some extent) even though we don’t know too much about her. All I know are these things, she’s someone who was taken care of from a young age, and relied on Nesta and Feyre basically like how a dependent would.

And tbh, out of all the sisters, despite relating to all of them in some way, I feel like what Elain’s going through is connected to my life more personally despite it not being written from her pov. Elain has all the typical signs of a golden child. Loved and cared for and seen as a the best child but also infantilized. She’s so fucking infantilized at every fucking turn.

(TW: A personal note about abuse and neglect) I had the strange dynamic of being both the scapegoat and the golden child to my mother, whenever it suited her, I was shown off like a trophy to my extended family but also was treated like the poison that was causing my parents’ marriage to fail.

As someone who grew up disabled, not able to walk, I also relate to that depression Papa Archeron inevitably has, despite whatever we want to say about canon and neglect

Elain likely took care of him, while both Feyre and Nesta took care of her

Tbh, the sisters’ dynamic is messy and complicated, and I’m not gonna trust sjm to write it well at all

But growing up as a disabled person, not being able to make choices for myself in my own care, I can understand where Elain is coming from

From the beginning by Feyre, Elain is casted in the light of childlike ignorance and while not entirely blamed for it, is also never confronted about it. Elain is doesn’t know that she’s not doing enough for Feyre and this likely forms resentment with Feyre later on. That’s understandable.

As a kid, I grew up stable enough to have what I wanted and then had to live through poverty when we lost our house. The transition in mindset is one I wasn’t one I immediately took to. I didn’t understand why I couldn’t go out to eat, no one ever sat down to explain our money situation, and even though we were definitely going through it, it was expected of me to understand that we couldn’t do certain things

So I would innocently ask for things out of our budget and ask for expensive food without realizing, and would get blamed for the guilt my mother felt for not being able to provide for me as she wanted to. I learned to never ask for what I wanted, and it’s still something I'm learning to deal with whenever I buy something or need help

I mention this all to say that Elain does similar things in the first acotar book. She asks for something out of the budget and she asks for things without malice, merely because she wants something and thinks Feyre can give it to her

Feyre never says that they can't afford it or that she needs to buy new boots for herself, she doesn't explain this to Elain and Elain is never given the chance to say, "Oh, I didn't realize."

She's not allowed a moment of growth, she's stagnated in her childlike responses to things both because of the narrative sjm wanted to tell and because of Elain's dynamic with her family.

I don't even think Elain understands money and how it works (neither does sjm but that's a different point). It's possible she sees the deer, the fur, something new and something that they could sell in the market for, and thinks they might have enough for something she wants

It's a mistake I made so commonly in my childhood, that Feyre's resentment actually breaks my heart

That's what makes Nesta's protectiveness over Elain feel both like care and shackles

(Something sjm tried to address but did so fucking poorly, like usual)

Later on, when their wealth is restored, Elain goes back to the familiar easily, likely because she never truly got to have the mental transition both Nesta and Feyre had (and her father was actively hoping for this to happen so he was likely excited about this as much as Elain)

I also want to point out want happened in ACOSF between Elain and Nesta. I mentioned in another post the Elain likely (mostly her unconscious inner child) sees Nesta as a mother figure. That Nesta likely was the one that took care of Elain when they were younger more than her mother. Nesta likely gave Elain the kindness of her mother, the attention of her father, and Feyre was too young at this point

So I think it's understandable why she's lashing out in ACOSF to Nesta, because it's that realization that the person who's been taking care of you your whole life, the one who you can go to and lean on and not be judged by, can no longer take care of you

To some extent, Elain realizing Nesta is going through hell, she has to face losing another parental figure and her first reaction is likely to cling onto that relationship even though it's unhealthy for both of them

Its like a child asking why their parent can't take of them, isn't that their job?? Except Nesta isn't Elain's mother and never should have been put in that position

Elain reacts in indignation and anger and hurt because that's what a child does, and Elain is going through this now because she's never had the chance to before, now she's being forced to

She has to grow up and she's petulantly digging her heels in

On the note of ACOSF, in the scene where she and Nesta talk (where I pulled those quotes from the beginning from), Nesta is not in the right head space at all to deal with Elain and what she's going through

Nesta is just point blank not able to do it. Mentally, she already feels like someone undeserving of love and is a horrible person. She's deteriorating and Elain just comes up and acts like she's not dying inside.

(Fuck sjm btw for doing this to Nesta)

In fact, Elain can see that Nesta is miserable but says she should basically be handling it with more grace. Which, is fucked, but it is something that is commonly told to literally anyone going through shit and by people not willing to be sympathetic to that

(It could almost be internalized misogyny because women are expected to deal with things gracefully or 'in a manner befitting a lady' but that's another discussion for another day)

What I want to point out in this discussion is how Nesta interacts with Elain because we honestly can't for sure know Elain's POV (despite this whole post projecting on her because sjm doesn’t give us enough for me to satisfactorily understand the character she’s writing after nearly FIVE books but whatever. Skill issue I guess)

A note on how they view each other and how they talk about each other in ACOSF:

This is honestly like?? Just a thing, but the implication is that Elain is pampered here, she wouldn't do this or that. It's framed as a bad thing, especially since at this point the stairs are representative of Nesta’s freedom being held hostage and Elain just gets to come and leave without consequence.

From Nesta's POV:

Someone had brought Elain here, since there was no way in hell she had climbed those ten thousand steps.

She stopped a few feet away. As if holding herself back from the embrace she might have given.

Like Nesta was some sort of disease-ridden leper.

Like, again, this comes from a distorted view Nesta has of herself, not helped by the IC at all. It's likely that Elain just know how to bridge the gap between them that has formed.

Elain had been the ghost then, too thin, with her thoughts turned inward.

Somehow Nesta had become the ghost.

Worse than a ghost. A wraith, whose rage and hunger were bottomless, eternal.

Elain had only needed time to adjust. But Nesta knew she herself needed more than that.

It was always that way between them: Elain, sweet and oblivious, and Nesta, the snarling wolf at her side, poised to shred anyone who threatened her.

In ACOSF, Nesta and Elain have switched places from ACOMAF when Elain was honestly going through it. Regardless, both of their mental states have been used to gain high ground with each other in this fandom and I'm like, not going to do that, that's not the point.

Rather this comes back to my previous point. Nesta has had to take care of Elain, likely as a mother would. It's the resulting parentification Nesta has endured.

This is also... Like yes, needing more or less time to adjust in general, especially to a traumatic situation, is morally neutral. What makes me pause of the self woe is me of Nesta saying she's worse than Elain in nearly every way. This is a result of her mental state. But it's also not helpful to either herself OR Elain. This instead puts Elain on a pedestal, in her own box.

WHICH IS INTERESTING BECAUSE BECAUSE BECAUSE: going hc now but, with how Nesta was groomed by her own mother, it wouldn't surprise me if Nesta also 'parents' in this way towards Elain. Except Elain gets to be everything Nesta didn't get to be in the eyes of her mother; perfect, beautiful, gentle, demure, a lady. Elain, to Nesta, deals with her own grief more respectably than Nesta, which is likely an external expectation placed on her from a young age.

There is also the idea that Nesta has more patience and gentleness with others than herself.

Elain had accepted his death as inevitable. She hadn't bothered to fight for him, as if he hadn't been worth the effort, precisely as Nesta herself knew she herself wasn't worth the effort.

Another comparison Nesta makes between herself and Elain. Except there's also this element of protection to it. Often, Nesta is willing to be that 'wolf' to protect Elain, the innocent and oblivious. But again, this also places expectations on Elain, that box her in.

"...Go back to Feyre and your little garden."

Again, with how Nesta essentially views Elain's grieving process. But instead, I'd say this comes across more as a twisted mess of Nesta's own unresolved feelings towards her father and also equating herself as him. He was their father, and in many ways Nesta played that role for Elain. When she hates her father, I suppose in some ways, she is also hating herself in this moment.

The unsaid said here is also Nesta's survivor's guilt. I think it's not far fetched to say that (presumably) just like Elain, she wanted to save her father and she wanted to 'be early' to help him.

"She's not getting any better. She's not even trying."

This is also likely Nesta acknowledging that they've split. In ACOTAR through ACOWAR, it has always been Nesta and Elain, Elain and Nesta. But in ACOSF, Nesta feels betrayed by Elain because of Feyre's actions. People hate the IC and Rhysand for Nesta's imprisonment, but this is also a product of Feyre using her authority and deciding Nesta's bodily autonomy with her own 'goodwill' in mind.

And Elain famously has always had a little garden. But it's also an isolation from hurt and pain, it's a place of comfort, and it's always been a place where Elain belongs. This time, Nesta is saying that Elain belongs there (despite whatever Elaim could want).

This could also reflect Nesta’s bitterness about being trapped.

Nesta shot to her feet. "No."

Now, this is what Elain says about Nesta. Which tbh, is understandable for her POV. This is after Nesta says those quoted words to her. But this is also ultimately a result of no one acknowledging the pain and honestly disgusting thing they've done to Nesta. Elain expects that Nesta will get better in an environment that's actively worsening her mental state. The reasons why Nesta does 'get better' is always connected to something outside of the House of Wind with Gwyn and Emerie. The library, despite being close, is not the same as the HoW, so it makes sense that Nesta would go there to escape.

Elain remained in the doorway, her face pale but her expression harder than Nesta had ever seen it. "You do not decide what I can and cannot do, Nesta."

... "You will not go looking for it."

I think this is honestly this crux of their dynamic. Nesta is the 'mother' and Elain is the 'child' despite them actually being sisters. Nesta tells Elain what to do, as a parent would would their 'power' over a child. Except Elain is rejecting this.

This is... a dynamic that is honestly just done a major disservice by sjm. Neither of them acknowledge anything in a meaningful manner and none of them resolve anything at all. ACOSF establishes dynamic poorly and does an even poor job of doing honestly anything about it. Nesta instead is beat down so much that she just breaks down and accepts it. And Elain doesn't grow in any way either. Instead, because sjm and her characters do not actually acknowledge the reality of the conflicts they have, Elain just comes off as more childish and spoiled, which is like, also horrible for her character. A clown show is what this whole series is.

#anti sjm #elain archeron #nesta archeron #pro elain #pro nesta #pro elain archeron #pro nesta archeron #papa archeron

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soullessjack · 8 months

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listen i get your frustration about how people treat jack, i hate when people reducd him down to just a destiel baby too. but as an autistic person myself, i really disagree with you calling people that like baby jack ableist. he's canonically 4 years old and had to have his childhood basically stripped away from him due to how dangerous it was. i don't think people enjoying the thought of him getting to have that chance at a happy childhood is as cruel and evil as you seem to think.

hi, I’m actually going to answer this differently than I did at first, because I feel like I missed the point and spent way too much time on the canon logistics of “giving Jack a childhood that he chose to skip and is never shown to want,” or that he’s actually pretty obviously portrayed as a teenager in the show, or that his character fundamentally revolves around autonomy & the struggle to have it, and not enough on the actual ableism. I’m also going to be a lot meaner this time, sorry.

honestly, you don’t get my frustrations. you don’t get that this isn’t some petty fandom drama about “muh fav being misunderstood” or “grr this content bad.” you don’t get my frustration if you think that’s all there is to any of this. this is something with an actual bearing on reality and the entire topic of representation in general, which you’d get if you took your head out of your ass and looked around for once. autistic people are still immensely underrepresented and misrepresented in most mainstream media. we are still seen and treated as circus animals, as punchlines, as lesser humans if not subhumans, and we have to face that alongside navigating a world that is wholly and systemically unnavigable to us. fiction and fandoms are an escape for many people, but especially marginalized people who long for community and representation.

the autistic community has a pretty long history of resonating with nonhuman characters in fiction over time, from robots to aliens to monsters in horror movies. because whether it’s their mannerisms or specific struggles or even narrative experiences, they resonate with us. jack resonates with us. he’s important to us as autistic people—and namely, as autistic adults who very rarely see ourselves represented in ways that don’t depict us as gross man-children, infantilized precious beans or emotionless geniuses. in fact, the very notion that autistic people are inherently childlike or mentally children directly leads into our sole representation being children, and even more into the treatment of us as “precious small beans.” does that ring any fucking bells to you yet?

jack might not have been intentionally written with autism or representation on mind, but this fandom literally builds itself up on coding and unintentional implications. he was also confirmed to be autistic anyways, so anyone still whining should just grow the fuck up about it. also, ironically, most accidentally autistic characters end up being the best kind lmao. but these discussions? these analyses by autistic fans —and even just fans who actually care about his complexities — only exist within our own little circles, and the idea of baby!jack is very much the fandom’s steadfastly going mainstream version of him—so much so that people are convinced it’s actually canon, they die on that hill like it’s some obligation to uphold. and any viewing of his canon character with nuance or complexity, or even his basic personality, is left to gather dust. it stops becoming people having fun when it’s over-saturating and supersedes actual canon. it stops becoming people having fun when it’s actually fucking harmful.

it’s frustrating as a general fan, but downright upsetting as an autistic fan who sees themself in him and has to witness every fucking day — in a community that prides itself on being a big found family no less — the infantilization of traits I and other autistic people express, and the stubborn justification of him being “actually a toddler” with even more autistic traits. There are literal scraps of canon adult Jack content to engage with; of any semi-intelligent thoughts on him to indulge in.

what you don’t get (or you refuse to get) that there is a direct correlation between all of this, the way jack is treated (ie ‘reduced to a destiel baby’) and the ableist infantilization surrounding his character. as in, this content directly feeds into his treatment, which then feeds back into the content made of him, which then feeds back again into his treatment in a horrible and exhausting cycle.

what you don’t get is that constantly regurgitating content where the baseline is jack being actively stripped of his identity and autonomy for the sake of becoming an accessory to Destiel/Sastiel/the Domestic Winchester Family is inherently rooted in layers of deep ableist rhetoric, and you can perpetuate all of that even without any intent for it. I’m not a fucking moron, and I’m not the big bad guy you’re talking to me like. I don’t think anyone who enjoys baby!jack is inherently “cruel” or “evil,” or turning jack into a baby while thinking “this’ll stick one to those retards,” and twirling their moustache, okay? and it’s really so funny to me that you’re trying to point the finger back at me. at least you tried.

what you don’t get is that whenever autistic fans voice our perspective on baby!jack, we’re fucking ignored. we’re fed the same rotten slop over and over and over again. “But we want him to be happy!” “But it’s an AU, it’s not canon!” “But he actually is a baby because XYZ!” “But, but!” Buts are not an argument, they’re the thing you still haven’t found a way to pull your heads out of. maybe the lack of oxygen from so many people in one small dark space is why you’re so fucking stubborn to understand this.

you wanna know what is cruel? being told that you are doing something hurtful, something harmful and something that painfully reflects real life struggles a real community goes through, and shrugging it off. being aware of the value something brings to someone else, and stripping it away simply because it doesn’t matter to you personally. finding another But or a corner-cut to excuse yourself from blame. you didn’t have the decency to listen when general fans said “hey this is kind of annoying can we treat him like an actual person,” and you don’t even have the decency to concede when autistic people are saying this is a deeply wrong thing to do.

if you have to ignore an entire community’s voice to feel better about the content you’re making that directly hurts them, if you don’t personally think it’s harmful or even real because autistic struggles are never real, then I am well within reason to assume you’re not a good person. it’s one thing to do something wrong because you’re uninformed, and it’s another thing entirely to continue to do that when you’ve been informed, and simply decided that it wasn’t worth changing or stopping.

believe me, as an autistic person I am well used to being isolated, to not being anyone’s priority in this capitalistic circle of hell. I am ready to expect my struggles and existence to be tokenized for somebody else to feel good, or squeeze money from. Im used to seeing movies portray my experience as some Manic Pixie Star-seed or creepy overgrown child. I know the world doesn’t care about me. But I don’t think I’m asking too much for this, the big found family fandom that’s been shown to care so much about every other problem, to care about me. To listen when it’s hurting me, or uplift something I care about.

I don’t think I’m asking for anything less than this family to actually treat me like I am part of it. But can you even do that?

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