#and then after a couple days of that I go ‘oh I’m bloated it’s just pms’
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Hm think I might go nuts for a bit
#me thinking ‘did I forget to take my meds why am I so anxious’#no bitch it’s that time of the month where your uterus drives you right up to the brink of something drastic#as long as I keep reminding myself that my mental state is only altered because of hormones I’ll be fine#but holy SHIT#just#fuck#I don’t track my period with a calendar or an app I simply#become completely untethered from reality and feel like an open wound and worry I’m about to go into psychosis#and then after a couple days of that I go ‘oh I’m bloated it’s just pms’#and before anybody comes in the notes saying that’s not normal talk to your doctor#listen#please listen#because I have and they’ve said ‘yeah that happens’ for every fucking thing#and the sheer thought of making a doctors appointment only to get told I’m overreacting again literally makes me physically ill#holy fuck man#I am so tense just thinking about it
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just friends
nico hischier x fem reader
word count: 10.9k (the longest fic i’ve ever written i’m so sorry)
warnings: unplanned pregnancy and mentions of unprotected sex, cursing, the word climax, a little angsty, if i forgot anything lmk.
note: i started this on september 1st, this actually took forever. ANYWAYS hope y’all enjoy lmk if you love it, if you hate it, any feedback in general is appreciated!! love y’all babes <3
+++
it was an accident.
you and nico had been in a casual friends with benefits relationship for about a year and a half, having known each other for three years in total, when it happened.
you and nico were being stupid one night. after a few too many drinks, and no condoms to be found anywhere in your apartment, you and nico fucked without protection.
you were on birth control and nico had pulled out, well he did halfway through his climax.
you didn’t think anything when you didn’t get your period the following month or the two months after that, you hadn’t had a period in four years thanks to your birth control.
for weeks you thought you were just bloated, maybe you had been eating too much lately. you were much hungrier these past couple of weeks, it made sense.
it wasn’t until you threw up eleven times in one week before ten in the morning that you grew suspicious and worried at the possibility of you being pregnant.
you stopped by the drug store on your way home from work and panic bought nine different pregnancy tests.
you drank seven things of water during the day and took no bathroom breaks in preparation for this moment, and you had never been so scared to get test results back.
positive. every single one of them.
you felt faint, like the walls of your tiny studio apartment were caving in on you.
you couldn’t have a baby, you couldn’t be a mother, it just couldn’t happen.
+++
the first thing you had to do was tell nico.
you and nico weren’t exclusive, and while he probably has his fair share of hookups, you did not. he was the only possible candidate for the father.
nico was currently three days into an eight day road trip, and as much as you wanted to just get it over with, you knew this is not the type of bombshell to be dropped via snapchat or imessage, considering you two only used imessage to play game pigeon and the nature of your saved snaps was not welcome to an “i’m pregnant and you’re the father” chat.
you decided to just text him that you needed to talk when he got back.
to: nico (hookup)
hey lmk when you’re back in newark, we need to talk.
from: nico (hookup)
oh?
from: nico (hookup)
everything okay?
to: nico (hookup)
not quite sure yet.
+++
five days later you found yourself at nico’s door, nine positive pregnancy tests in a ziploc bag in your purse. you were shaking, you don’t think you had ever been this nervous in your entire life.
nico opened up the door with a wide smile. you didn’t know what face you were making, but it was enough to make nico’s face fall and worry come through his tone of voice.
“y/n? what’s wrong?”
you didn’t even register his words, you just moved past him into his apartment and sat down on his couch.
“y/n?”
“i’m pregnant.”
the words fell out of your mouth before you could stop them.
nico sat there frozen on the loveseat as you pulled the pregnancy tests out of your purse.
around three minutes later you pulled your phone out and opened up some home makeover game, nico was still frozen.
“-oh and you’re the father but you probably already know that.”
+++
it was around four minutes later when nico finally opened up his mouth to speak.
“what are you going to do?”
his question made me a little angry, yes he wasn’t entirely at fault, but he could’ve at least taken
a little responsibility and said “we” instead of “you”.
“i don’t know yet, i have an appointment with an obgyn on saturday. i’ll learn about my options there.”
“what time?” nico asked, opening up his phone calendar.
“10:30.” you knew that nico had practice at that time because it was a game day. “you have practice, i’ll just let you know what i decide to do.”
“this is my child too, i want to be a part of the decision making.”
“well you’re not going to be the one taking care of them, i am.”
“what makes you think that? i mean obviously i will be on the road at times during the season, but when we’re on homestands and since we’ll be married we’ll have the off season together-”
“woah take a girl out to dinner before you propose nico.” you interrupted. “we aren’t getting married…”
“we’ve done a whole lot more than just dinner, and yes we are? how are we supposed to raise this baby together if we aren’t together.”
“have you ever heard of co-parenting? -also who says i’m keeping it, i haven’t made my decision yet.” you get up from your spot on his couch. “look i have to go, i’ll tell you about my appointment tomorrow.”
nico let out a heavy sigh. “don’t make any decisions without me.”
+++
“y/n?”
you looked up at the nurse who was holding the door open with their body and walked up to greet her, your knees slightly wobbling from the nerves running through you.
“please follow me into room two, i’m just gonna get your vitals.”
you stayed silent as she took your blood pressure and checked your reflexes, you had to take a moment to calm yourself down after you saw your weight, you had freaked out before you remembered that there was currently another being inside of you.
“alright your vitals look good.” the nurse spoke before exiting the room. “follow me into this room, you can go ahead and take a seat on the bed in the center of the room. the doctor should be in shortly.”
you nodded and thanked her before she exited and you took a look around the room, taking a few mirror selfies to send to the family group chat. you had told all of your immediate relatives over facetime on your way back from nico’s yesterday, the news was received better than you had planned so you couldn’t say anything about your mom’s comments on being a grandmother, she made it very clear she was on team “keep the baby and be a badass single mom in the city”.
you sat on the bed/chair thing, ripping the paper instantly as you tried to get comfortable.
you took your eyes off your phone as you heard a series of knocks.
“miss y/n?”
“yes, that’s me.”
“hi, i’m dr.swarn i’ll be assisting you today. is this your first ultrasound?” the middle aged woman asked.
“yes it is.”
“and do you know how far along you are?”
“i’m assuming three to four months…i just found out yesterday…”
“well we will find out today.” the doctor began getting the sonograph ready as you attempted to mentally prepare yourself. “-and i have to ask…the father, is he in the picture?”
“he is, but it’s complicated…we aren’t together.”
the doctor simply nodded before asking you to lift up your shirt and warning you that the gel might be cold.
after a few moments, a grainy black and white image showed up on the screen, dr. swarn pointing things out. “-and this is your baby! it is a couple weeks too early to figure out the gender, so i would estimate that you are about four months pregnant.”
you didn’t really focus on anything she said though, all your attention was on that tiny blob.
“do you want to hear the heartbeat?”
as dr.swarn began to turn up the volume the door swung open.
a very out of breath and sweaty nico stood in the door frame, bent over catching his breath.
“sorry i’m late!” nico walked up towards where you were lying on the table and smiled up at the doctor. “i’m the father.”
dr.swarn smiled at him before speaking. “well you made it just in time, we were just about to listen to the heartbeat.”
she had the screen turned towards her so nico had yet to see the baby.
“this is your baby-” dr.swarn turned the screen back towards you and nico. “and this is their heartbeat.”
it was like everything around you had disappeared and all you knew was the image of your baby and the sound of their heartbeat. nico grabbed your hand and effectively pulled you out of the trance you were in.
“would you like me to discuss your options with you?” dr.swarn asked, turning the heartbeat down.
“no, i’m keeping it.”
+++
you got a recording of the heartbeat and got a couple prints of the ultrasound before exiting the doctors office, nico getting the same things as you.
“so you’re actually gonna keep it?” nico asked once he had walked you to your car.
“yes i am, and i don’t expect you to be involved at all if you don’t want to…i can do this on my own.”
“well you won’t have to.” nico started. “move into my apartment.”
you sighed, but nico spoke again before you could. “look we don’t have to get married right away, just move in…we will see how things go from there.”
“nico- i’m not moving in with you, i am perfectly fine living in my apartment and so is the baby.” you didn’t mean for your tone to come off so harsh, well you did a little bit, but you didn’t want nico thinking that you would be getting together just because of your child together. “look nico, i know that you believe that to raise a child the mother and father need to be together but i don’t and i don’t want to be with someone just because people think we have to. i will not be having a shotgun wedding.”
“what is a shotgun wedding?”
“-it does matter. we are not getting together nico.” you got into the driver's seat of your car. “i don’t really know how this co-parenting shit works, and i’m assuming you don’t either so let’s just make sure to be patient with one another, okay?”
nico nodded before you said your goodbyes and drove off in the direction of your apartment.
+++
around two weeks later as you sat in your little cubicle your phone started ringing.
nico (hookup)
you sighed and saved the progress on your current project before picking up the phone.
“hello?”
“hey, are you home right now?”
“no, it’s two in the afternoon on a thursday. i’m at work.”
“oh i didn’t think you would work while pregnant…”
“i need to fund this child’s life somehow.”
there was an awkward silence for a few moments before you spoke up again.
“did you need something nico?”
“well i called to ask if you would like to come over for dinner tonight.”
“what are you making? because i don’t mean to sound rude, but this child doesn’t like anything i cook and you’re much worse than me.”
“hey i’m not that bad!” you both chuckle before nico speaks again. “is there anything you’re craving right now?”
“jiggly cheesecake and that gouda mac n cheese with sausage i got when we went to new york two years ago.”
“okay i can’t make any of that.”
“just make whatever you want, i’ll force it down if the baby doesn’t like it. what time should i come over?”
“5:30?”
“okay, i’ll just come straight from work.”
you said your goodbyes before you go back to your work.
+++
once the clock struck 4:45 you called it a day and headed out to your car before driving to nico’s apartment.
you knocked on the door, a tad bit confused because you heard multiple voices on the other side of the door, if it wasn’t for the welcome mat on the outside that you had forced nico to get you would’ve thought you were at the wrong door.
“hey.” nico opened the door, the voices only getting louder.
“hey…are other people joining us…?” you asked, looking around his apartment confused.
“yeah i probably should've mentioned-”
nico had begun to speak, but a voice that you knew as nico’s mother. “is y/n here!?” soon you saw her smiling faces coming towards you with open arms. “oh come here, it’s been too long sweetie!”
god bless your work bag that seemed to span to five feet because it was hiding your baby bump that was very noticeable in your blouse.
“hello mrs.hischier, how are you?” you asked politely, but you were really wanting to strangle nico right now.
“i’m great! luca and nina are here too!”
“oh that’s great! i’ll go see them in a second, i just need to talk to nico really quickly.”
you smiled as she walked away before turning to nico and gave him a swift slap on the backside of his head. “are you crazy!? did you just ambush a pregnancy announcement on me!?”
“look, i know this probably wasn’t the best way to approach this, but my family needs to know.”
“i am fully aware of that, but this is something that you plan out, not something you spring on a pregnant woman!”
“i’m sorry! just- let’s go into the living room, nina really misses you.”
you had met nico’s family multiple times before and were especially close with his sister nina, she was the only one who knew of you and nico’s odd relationship and was the number one supporter of you two getting together.
you walked out, your work bag still covering yourself as you greeted luca and nina, the later giving you a look that only made you nervous.
you made small talk with the family before nico announced that dinner was ready. thankfully nico had brought your plate to you, both you and the fetus were happy with the look and smell of the fettuccine alfredo, with sausage, that nico had made. “thank you.”
as much as you didn’t want to, you had to set your work bag that had been used as a bump shield on the floor to eat, you just hoped everyone was too distracted by the food in front of them to notice.
“so what was the news that you had to share? i assume it has to do with y/n?” mrs.hischier spoke excitedly, it was obvious she was hoping that you and nico had started dating.
“y/n is pregnant and i’m the father and we are keeping it, but we are not together.” nico spoke quickly, his head down as if he was a child being scolded.
“oh…”
it wasn’t the worst reaction that could’ve happened, but it definitely wasn’t the best one, but how good of a reaction could one get after they tell their mother they got their fuck buddy pregnant.
“we’re figuring this all out as we go, but i am very sorry mrs.hischier i understand this isn’t how one would usually want their son to become a father.” you apologized, your head was also down.
“i’m not angry, just shocked and a little bit disappointed in you nico…but everything happens for a reason so i fully support you two.” you and nico let out identical sighs as his mother revealed that she was not going to disown either of us.
+++
the rest of dinner went great, you even made plans for both yours and nico’s family to get together for a small gender reveal brunch before the hischier’s headed back to switzerland.
nina had called dibs on walking you out so you prepared yourself for the question you knew she was going to ask.
“are you absolutely, one hundred percent, serious when you say that you and nico are not together in any way, whatsoever, romantically?” nina asks, using too many synonyms for the word definitely.
“yes i am absolutely, one hundred percent, serious when i say that me and nico are not together in any way, whatsoever, romantically.” you reply, mocking her words.
she doesn’t seem too pleased by your answer and whines. “why? i want a sister and you are the only person i like, in general.”
“that is very sweet nina, but me and nico don’t like each other in that way. we’ve been…boinking for almost two years now. if either of us had feelings, i guarantee they would have been confessed by now and we probably would not be expecting a child out of wedlock in five months.”
nina let out an exaggerated sigh as you neared your car.
“me and nico are just friends, okay?” you spoke, getting into the driver’s seat.
“yeah friends who happen to boink on a weekly basis and are now expecting a child together.”
“i’ll see you at brunch on sunday nina.”
+++
“i’m team boy and girl!”
“mom i already told you we aren’t having twins.”
the sunday morning activities were supposed to be fun, and they were, but they were causing you a shit load of stress.
it seemed like everything nico was doing was aggravating you, and when nico and your little brother were in the same room it was a recipe for disaster. plus your mother wasn’t any help, she teamed up with nico’s mother and kept pressuring you to at least move in with nico, who you believe put them up to it.
“okay let’s just get this over with!” you yelled out, just wanting to figure out the gender so you could go home and have some much needed alone time.
nico came up next to you holding the envelope that contained the gender. “you ready mommy?”
“ew, don’t call me that.”
everyone had their phones out and began counting down as nico opened up the envelope.
“it’s a…GIRL!”
everyone’s cheers only furthered your headache, but you gave nico a smile and side hug before going over to your mother who ecstatically hugged you.
“a baby girl! i’m so happy for you y/n, my first grandbaby!”
you quickly said your goodbyes, not bothering to eat any of the food that was made or open any of the gifts that were brought.
were you being a rude, ungrateful, bitch for no reason? yes. but you were too exhausted to care or feel bad about nico’s constant dejected looks on his face throughout the morning.
+++
the second you got home you passed out on the floor of your apartment , god bless the pregnancy pillow your mother had delivered to you because you had a weird thing for sleeping on hardwood floors.
you woke up at three in the afternoon to a series of knocks at your door. you took a while to get up and once you did you regretted it because you saw nico looking very angry through the peephole.
you grabbed a sharpie and a sheet of paper towel and wrote the words “GO AWAY” in a very bold font before slipping it under the door.
the knocking silenced for a moment before it got louder, along with a call of your name.
“y/n. open the fucking door.” nico was seething.
you opened up the door. “what? i was sleeping.” you pointed to the pillow and blanket on the floor of your kitchen.
“on the floor?”
“yes- what do you need nico?”
“you left the party so quickly that you didn’t even get to open up your gifts, or acknowledge them.” nico gestured to the large bag of wrapped gifts that sat at his feet. “you actually left the party so early that the food wasn’t even served before you had said your goodbyes, which by the way thanks for not saying goodbye to me and thanks so much for the fake smile and side hug you gave me after we found out the gender of our child. that’s gonna be a real joy to look back on.”
you felt your headache coming back, you were starting to believe the sole cause was nico.
“seriously what was your problem this morning?” nico asked after a few moments of silence.
“my problem was that i didn’t even want this baby in the first place and i know for a fact i’m not going to be a good mother, and you! nico you are my problem, everything you did this morning seemed to piss me off and it’s probably just the pregnancy hormones making me easily irritable, but you were getting on my fucking nerves by breathing this morning.”
nico kicked the bag of gifts into your apartment in a fit. “well i’ll stop bothering you then.”
you knew you should’ve been a rational adult and went after him, but you weren’t, so you slammed the door and brought all the gifts to the living room so you could open them.
you smiled as you realized that all of the gifts were for you. your favorite candies and snacks, maternity clothes, and some prenatal care items that you probably should’ve started taking the second you found out you were pregnant, with the exception of one gift. it was from nico, you could tell by the poor wrapping job, you had been the one to wrap all of his christmas gifts ever since you met him except your own of course, those he always wrapped himself and they were a nightmare.
once you got his present unwrapped you found a boat load of mini devils gear. bibs, socks, a onesie, even a pair of noise canceling headphones. at the bottom of the box you found a very tiny devil’s jersey with the number thirteen on the back and a big patched “C” on the front. you teared up once you saw the big patched “DADDY” above the thirteen on the back and a matching bow headband with a small note.
i’m writing this before the reveal and i know we don’t know the sex yet, but i’m hoping for a girl and i know you are too. i hope the headband is a little good luck charm that baby girl judith is on the way. - nico.
you teared up at the note, especially at nico remembering the name you’ve always wanted to name your first daughter.
you quickly called nico, tears streaming down your face and nose all stuffy.
“hello?”
“come back up…please.”
“on my way.”
+++
you stood by the door waiting for nico to knock and once he did you immediately opened the door and nearly tackled him from the hug you gave him.
“i’m sorry.” you mumbled, still crying.
“i know, it’s okay.”
you walked into your apartment and sat on your couch next to nico. “you remembered my baby names.”
“how could i forget them?” nico stated.
“what would you have done if it was baby boy gannon instead of judith?” you asked, turning your head that was leaned on his shoulder up to look at him.
“turn the headband into a bowtie…?”
you laughed at him before your stomach growled loudly.
“what are you in the mood for?” nico asked immediately.
“canes, but that’s in the city and i don’t wanna make you go to new york.”
nico stood up after hearing your restaurant of choice. “c’mon, i’ll drive.”
+++
“how is it?”
“this is sex in a chicken tender nico, thank you for taking me here.”
nico laughed at your response before the both of you continued to eat a comfortable silence.
“hey tell your family that i’m sorry for how i was acting this morning, i am super grateful for them helping plan the reveal and to delay their flight to attend.”
“don’t worry, they understand that pregnancy emotions can be a lot, but i will still let them know.” nico said, making a mental note to text the family group chat.
“their gifts were very thoughtful too, how did nina know i like black licorice?”
“oh i let them know all your favorite things, that wasn’t alcohol.” nico shrugged as if it was no big deal.
you took a moment to process his answer, it wasn’t that weird for nico to know all of your favorite snacks and desserts, that’s what friends do…right?
+++
to: nico (hookup)
i have my sixth month checkup tomorrow at 10am, would you like to join?
from: nico (hookup)
yeah, do you wanna meet there or drive together?
to: nico (hookup)
could we drive together?
from: nico (hookup)
of course, i’ll pick you up at 9:30, we’ll stop by mcdonalds for breakfast. i know you love their sausage muffins.
you hadn’t seen nico since the day of the gender reveal party and when you went into the city together to get canes. of course you stayed in contact, but it was hard with both of your work schedules that often collided.
the next day nico was knocking on your door right at nine thirty in the morning, and you were still passed out. the pregnancy pillow and weighted blanket combo was not being your friend right now, though it was at 5am when the gremlin in your womb wouldn’t stop kicking. which she did for the first time earlier that day.
after about five minutes of nico knocking on your door with no response he began to fully panic, had you fallen down and couldn’t get up? were you dead in your bed? did you forget he was picking you up? so many things could’ve happened to you.
after a few moments of contemplating, nico decided that his only option was to break the door down. he began backing up a few steps and then running full force into your door, it took about seven tries for the door to fall to the ground.
the sound of the first impact of nico’s body was enough to wake you up. at the second impact you became aware of your surroundings, and at the third you thought someone was trying to break into your apartment.
you grabbed the closet weapon you could find, a meat pounder that you left on your kitchen counter last night, and got in position, ready to attack the person on the other side of the door.
once the door fell to the ground and the body fell on top of it, you got ready to swing.
“y/n!? are you alive!?”
“AHHH- nico!?” you froze your movements, the pounder hanging right above your head. “what are you doing here!?”
nico was still on the ground, also frozen as he tried to catch his breath. “ultrasound.”
you dropped your hands to your side as an ohhh played in your head. “i’m sorry i completely forgot. just give me a few moments and then we can leave.”
you turned around to enter your room before you froze and turned back around.
“i don’t have a front door…”
“i’ll text jack to come over and watch over the place and reattach it while we’re gone, the kid needs something to do this morning anyways.” nico said while pulling out his phone.
“does he know?”
“no, but he will…i’ve been meaning to ask you about telling the team anyways.”
“we can talk about it later , i need to get ready.”
you quickly got dressed, sporting a tight tank top, tight leggings, and a tight zip up. all tight because this baby had you gaining five pounds a minute. you huffed and puffed trying to get the tank top on. eventually you got it over your bump, but it was rising up and you were spilling out of it in too many places. deciding to just embrace the bummy look you threw on uggs, didn’t bother to put your contacts in, and left your hair in the rat's nest bun you’ve been wearing for the past five days since you were told to take a break from work by your boss, of course you had to faint in front of her.
“nico i need to get maternity clothes, i’m pretty sure these tanktop strings will snap if i raise my arm and don’t get me started on these leggings.”
“you’re huge…”
“thanks nico, you’re really helping out right now.” you joked, but deep down you were upset. you don’t tell a pregnant woman she is huge, especially if it’s your baby. “let’s go, we can’t be late.”
“jack is almost here, babe.” the nickname slipped out before nico could even process what he was saying.
“uhm…”
“yo nico what’s up…where is y/n’s door.” jack said while walking into your apartment.
“you’re standing on it.” you spoke. jack’s eye’s wandered to you and then to your belly, and then they got really wide. “hi jacklyn.”
“oh shit.”
“we can talk about this later, but me and nico really have to go because we’re already running late.”
you and nico quickly walked out, the later telling jack that you had a toolbox under your sink and to “go crazy.”
“no mcdonalds then huh?” nico asked as you got into his car.
“no, but i’ll be fine.”
+++
you weren’t fine.
you quickly got hangry and so did judith, nico seemed to be your punching for just about everything and even though he said he was fine, you could tell you hit home when you told him he needed to wax his eyebrows.
dr.swarn was completely fine with you guys being ten minutes late because she didn’t have anyone scheduled after you. the appointment went great except judith didn’t want to kick when nico felt your stomach, and of course nico’s hands were all dry and calloused which you hated feeling on your skin, and then after the ultrasound was over you guys rushed to mcdonalds because nico was determined to get you a damn sausage muffin, but of course you were two minutes past the cutoff for lunch and the teenager taking your order wouldn’t budge and you had to pretend like the cheeseburger didn’t come back up the second you got into the restroom. all you wanted to do is go home and be alone…and eat jalapeno poppers…and mozzarella sticks…
nico stopped at target to get what you wanted, and mac n cheese bites because he knew you’d love them.
you were pleasantly surprised when you arrived home to your door back on. luckily it had just separated itself from the hinges when nico tackled it to the ground, so it was an easy fix for jack.
once you stepped inside, nico quickly got to work, placing large portions of everything he bought in your airfryer. nico said it was crazy to buy a twenty size quart size air fryer and that you would never use it, but here he was being proven wrong.
you quickly changed out of the leggings and jacket, leaving the tank top on because you knew it would be just as much of a workout to get it off as it was to get it on and you threw on nico’s heart boxers he swears he wore as a joke, but you knew he picked them out at the store being one hundred percent serious.
“you two kids come sit down.” jack spoke loudly, as if he was your father.
“jack we are both older than you.” nico spoke sitting down in the spot next to you on your couch.
“doesn’t matter. you’re pregnant?”
you both nodded as jack pointed to you.
“-and you’re the father?”
you both nodded as jack pointed to nico.
“and you’re keeping it together as…”
“friends, just friends.”
“friends don’t have babies together.” jack gave you a skeptical look.
“they do now.” you stood up. “goodbye jack.”
+++
“i think it’s best if you two move in together, for both your safety y/n, and the babies.”
dr.swarn spoke before leaving you and nico in the room alone,
you were now seven months pregnant and you were constantly fainting, your boss had stopped allowing you to come into work and told you that you “needed rest” so you met her halfway and you now work from home.
nico was over one night after a game when he walked in on you passed out on the kitchen floor, but this time it wasn’t on purpose. he immediately began staying the night on your couch to make sure you were alright and as soon as you could he got you into dr.swarn’s office.
“i’m taking you home and we’re packing you up. i’ll text jack to come over with luke.” nico said as you exited the obgyn.
“you know i can help right? judith is fine-”
“-but you’re not fine! you told dr.swarn that you’ve been fainting since even before you got pregnant, and i didn’t know. why didn’t you tell me about all this?” nico interrupted you, obviously upset.
“because it’s not important!” you snapped back. “it doesn’t affect judith in anyway, so i don’t understand you’re so worried.”
“it’s important because it affects you. i am worried about you, and i’m allowed to be. now there is no more arguments, you will be moving in with me and ending your lease at your current place.”
“nico-”
“no, that is final.”
+++
for the rest of the day you sat and watched tv while the two hughes and nico packed up your apartment until they had to pack your tv, which you insisted they did last.
“the truck is all loaded up, we’re gonna drive it over to nico’s and he is going to drive you in your car.” jack spoke as you approached where the truck was parked on the side of the street.
you nodded as nico helped you into the car. you hated admitting it, but you were much larger than you were expecting to be at this time in your pregnancy.
+++
once you had made it to nico’s apartment you did the same thing you were doing before while the boys unpacked your stuff into the second bedroom, absolutely nothing.
you got up and waddled over to where the guys were all watching luke struggle to get the fitted sheet on your bed.
“can i please do something? anything?” you begged.
“yeah, go out and use my laptop to create a list of things you want as gifts at the baby shower, a registry because i know you want specific things for judith.” nico answered your begging.
“baby shower? i’m having a baby shower?” you had not been informed of this.
“yeah, all the guys on the team and their partners are gonna come, so are your friends and family, mine is coming too.” nico spoke like it was no big deal.
nico had told the guys about three weeks ago because they saw the ultrasound in his locker. which in response had you getting multiple text messages from some of the girls all sounding very similar to “i thought y’all were just friends?”
“when is this?” you asked, knowing you would need to get an outfit ready.
“next saturday, we have no game.” nico replied simply
“that’s in a week!” you shrieked, when you went maternity clothes shopping that did not involve any dresses.
“yeah, so you better get working on that list.”
+++
it only took you ten minutes to make the list because all you had to do was transfer it from a google doc, where it was already made but just titled as your shopping list, to a spreadsheet where people could claim a gift to give you, nico, and the baby.
it was a list with the basics. a stroller, breast pump, car seat (preferably one that went with the stroller), bed sheets, clothes, the essentials to keep a newborn alive, but you also had other things like decor for the nursery toys, and this bedside bassinet that your mother had been raving about since she saw it on facebook. you thanked god that your new room had a walk-in closet because that was going to be judith’s room. you weren’t even sure it was a closet because it was completely empty, no shelves or rods to hang anything on, it was more of a very small room, but it worked out better for you so you couldn’t complain.
you quickly went back to where the boys were, silently screaming as they made your bed completely wrong.
“please, oh please for the love of god, let me make my bed.” you begged nico, genuinely astonished that they had managed to put your pillows in the wrong order and put your comforter on inside out.
“i thought i told you to make your list?” nico said.
“i already finished. it was easy.” you said as you began stripping your bed of everything on it. “i just put down everything i already had on my shopping list…and then some because i know my friends are gonna wanna get me multiple things.”
you made sure to stare jack down as you put your comforter on the correct way before you placed your pillows in the correct order as well as the blankets at the end of your bed.
nico was quick to rush you back into the living room, turning on a movie for you to watch. you quickly got bored, which meant you quickly got hungry.
“nico!” you yelled out, needed your baby daddy to come to your rescue.
“yes honey?” nico approached where you were lying down, the two brothers laughing at their captain.
“i’m hungry.” you gave him a hopeful smile. “for taco bell…”
“you’re order still the same as it was last time?” nico didn’t even hesitate to grab his shoes and keys.
“yes, but if they have nacho fries please get those too.” you answered, nico had basically all of your fast food orders memorized by now.
“nico can i get some food too?” jack asked in a girly voice.
“please honey!” luke added.
“fuck off you two, go finish putting her clothes away.
+++
soon enough you had dragged nico out to go shopping for a dress for your baby shower. luke and jack had left shortly after nico arrived back home with your food and once you finished eating you got nico to drive you to the mall.
“ooh what about this one?” you pulled out a simple floral dress.
“it’s nice, but it’s only march. don’t you think it’ll be too cold for a tank top?” nico spoke, reminding you that it was still freezing cold in new jersey.
a few minutes later you approached where nico was sat in a chair with a dress you thought would be more appropriate.
“what about this? i love the pink.” it was basically a dupe of the skims long sleeve dress, but you didn’t really care. “we’ll have to find a polo that matches the color while we’re out.”
nico approved of the dress so you were quick to go to the checkout and buy the dress, excited about the event that was going to happen, after you pulled nico into the closest department store and found a polo that was close enough to the shade of pink of your dress.
“how are you gonna tell the media about…this whole thing?” you asked on the way home.
“what whole thing?” nico questioned, not exactly understanding what you meant.
“the fact that you knocked up some chick, who you are now living with to raise the baby, but you aren’t together with said chick.” you deadpanned, thinking of all the reactions you knew you were going to get from the hockey world. you could already see the “baby trapper” and “gold digger” comments and dms you would get.
“i didn’t knock up some chick, i knocked up my…friend?”
“yeah go with that, it sounded real believable nico.” you said sarcastically.
“look i don’t really know how to tell the world that i got my hook up/best friend pregnant because, as jack as told me multiple times, my pull out game is weak.” you laughed and agreed with jack that nico did in fact have a weak pull out game, the evidence was currently kicking you.
after a few moments of silence nico spoke up again. “alright what if we don’t mention our relationship at all. we just make an instagram post together of images of the ultrasounds and pics from the baby shower and tell everyone that we are expecting. we definitely won’t post the gender reveal video because you look like you were planning my death in it, but we just make the post and don’t comment on our relationship.”
you had to admit that it was a good idea, but you already knew that this would make everyone assume that you were dating. most people did already, which you understood. you wore playoff jackets with nico’s name and number, you attend team events and parties together, hell you went to the nhl awards with him and his family, and you are super close with his family, so you were never upset that people assumed your relationship status with nico because you did everything that the other girlfriends and wives did.
“i like that idea.”
+++
“alright this gift is from me and jack.” luke spoke as he handed you a gift.
you were a bit overwhelmed with the amount of people looking at you and just simply being in your home, but you knew that these people were here for you and at the end of the day you were getting a shit ton of gifts.
so far every single thing you had put on your list was gifted to you and now it was just things people thought you or the baby would like.
“oh you guys…i love it!” it was a wood wall decal of judith’s name and it matched the pink polkadot of her sheets.
“there is more under it.” jack spoke up.
you lifted up the large sign and saw a baby onesie in maize and blue that said “future wolverine.”
you and your friends started laughing at it.
“you guys do know that i went to ohio state right?”
you were met with a disgusted stare by the brothers, more specifically the youngest, only causing you to laugh harder, not noticing nico’s pissed off expression, the one he had on his face all day.
+++
you continued to open up gifts and thank everyone, nico was one writing duty so he wrote down each gift and who it was from so you could send them thank you cards later in the week.
once presents were done it was photo time. you took lots with your family and nico’s family, as well as some with your friends, and of course you had to keep the tradition going with the girls from the team and took a picture of everyone pointing at your belly.
you only took a couple with nico, as he had been oddly distant all day.
after everyone left you and nico began moving everything into judith’s nursery and setting things up.
“thank you for setting that up, i had a lot of fun.” you spoke up, interrupting the awkward silence that was looming around you two.
nico nodded as he finished building the crib, you were given the simple task of putting all the wipes and diapers in the changing table’s cabinet.
“so once we’re done do you want to make the instagram post? or were you wanting to wait until after judith was born to post?” it was awkward, nico was just sitting there once the crib was all set up. “...nico?”
you were met with silence, nico was staring at you, yet not speaking.
“okay what the hell is up with you today? you’ve been weird all day, the only time you were even interacting with me was during pictures.” you had snapped, getting aggravated by the swiss’ behavior today.
“it’s nothing i just…” nico started speaking, but trailed off quickly.
“are you having second thoughts about all of this?” you whispered, scared to say it too loudly, scared that it is the truth. “second thoughts about judith?”
nico’s head instantly shook. “no, of course not.”
“then what’s wrong?”
“it’s nothing, i’m just not feeling the greatest and i didn’t want to risk you getting sick so i tried to keep my distance from you…” nico lied.
earlier, when the party was first starting, nico had overheard your conversation with your friends about how you couldn’t wait to give birth so you can start going out on dates and having meaningless hookups, saying that you missed being a twenty two year old who could do twenty two year old things.
nico understood you had urges, hell he had his urges too. over the course of your pregnancy you and nico had the occasional…hang out, but ever since you moved it was happening once, sometimes twice, a day. he thought it meant something, he thought you guys were finally going somewhere, but it seemed like you just wanted to go back to how things were before, which would probably be impossible, you have a fucking kid togther.
nico had realized a year ago that he had feelings for you. the only reason he didn’t go full legal team on your ass when you told him you were pregnant was because of how desperately he had fallen for you.
“oh, well you could’ve just told me that earlier, i was worried that i had done something.” you said before an awkward silence settled in the room. “well could you put all the sheets and clothes we got today in the washer? i’m gonna start on thank you notes in the living room.”
you shook off the tension as you exited the small room, nico gathering everything that needed to be washed in a small basket before going into the laundry room.
+++
“i don’t like that, why don’t we just wait to post until she is born to post everything, have the caption just be judith? i think that's better than a three hundred word rant that could be summarized by i knocked up my friend.”
three weeks until you were due to pop and you and nico still hadn’t gone public with the pregnancy. of course the wag blogs found a way to get a hold of a picture of you and nico from earlier on in the pregnancy where people could only speculate whether or not you were with child or just had a large lunch and somehow it got out that you had moved in with nico, only furthering the rumors that had been going on for years that you and nico are more than just friends.
“okay. let’s wait until she comes to post, but i don’t like that caption, let’s keep thinking.” nico replied, the devil’s PR team email staring back at him. “they want us to publicize it before someone else does it for us.”
“well it’s a good thing i’m chained to this bed until i go into labor.” you joked, you were so big you could barely sit up let alone walk anywhere. “no one is going to find out, don’t worry. it will all be okay.”
+++
two weeks later you had been having contractions all day, but dr.swarn said to not go to the hospital until your water had broke because these contractions could’ve been directly connected to stress. considering that your pregnancy was exposed three days ago, you would say that you were pretty stressed out.
one of the girls, not even thinking, had posted a photo dump on instagram to celebrate the devil’s season ending and included one from your baby shower. nico, you, and unborn judith right in the center of it all. it was quickly taken down, but the damage had already been done and now all of nico’s and your social medias were being flooded by comments.
nico was currently at locker cleanout, and the meeting he had to have with the PR team to apologize for not listening to them and to set up a game plan to rescue him from whatever deepshit this was going to get him in was scheduled for right after.
you were laid down on the kitchen floor, your mother was somewhere in the living room timing your contractions. you were having a big contraction, holding onto the nearby chair leg for support, when you felt a gush of liquid puddle under you.
“MOM!?” you yelled out, your water had just broke.
“sweetie!? what’s going on- OH LORD!” your mother scrambled to get you on your feet as you cried out in pain. “let me get the bag!” you had never seen your mom run so fast, you would’ve laughed at her nearly tripping if it wasn’t for the child threatening the slip out at any moment.
you were assisted into the backseat of your mother’s car as she drove to the hospital.
“if you could step on it, that would be great i’m kinda-” your sarcastic comment was cut off by another contraction. “nico…oh my god nico! i need to call him!”
you fished around the packed bag until you got a grip on your phone, dialing up nico as quickly as possible.
“i’m sorry but the number you reached is not available. please leave a message at the sound of the beep.”
you groaned loudly, speaking into the phone.
“your child is currently in the process of being born, i’m at the hospital closest to the arena. please hurry.”
+++
you laid in the weirdly comfortable hospital bed, not yet fully dilated. it worked out in your favor because nico had yet to show up. you left a couple text messages and then a few more voicemails.
“i don’t know what the fuck your doing right now, but if judith is born before you get here your last name will not be on the birth certificate.” you said into the microphone, leaving the third voicemail of the day.
nico’s entire family was flying in next week and nico had made sure that he had all of next week off from any media or anything related to hockey so he could be there for the birth, but now judith was coming early and no one but your mother was here.
dr.swarn entered your hospital room again, she had arrived shortly after you because you had paged her the second you got into the car. “how are we doing momma?”
“not good, baby daddy is nowhere to be seen and i’m still not dilated enough to get this monster out of me.” you answered, setting your phone down beside you.
after a few moments dr.swarn smiled. “well i’m sorry about nico’s absence, but judith is ready to come out. you’re ready to push.”
+++
you don’t remember much, the epidural had kicked in.
you remember holding onto your mom’s hand so hard that she yelped in pain at one point.
you remember cursing nico for not only doing this to you, but not being there for you.
you remember crying, a lot, and you remember judith crying a lot too.
you remember holding judith for the first time. both of your tears stopped for just a moment as you had skin on skin contact.
you whimpered as they took her away for cleaning, but soon she was wrapped up and you were able to hold her again.
you remember the sound of footsteps and a thick swiss accent begging to be let into the room, continuously yelling that he was the father. your mother was quick to go into the hall and defend nico from the nurses saying he couldn’t go into the room, and as soon as nico saw you holding judith he began crying.
“y/n i am so so sorry, i was-”
“where the hell were you!? i just had to give birth to our daughter without the father there!” you scolded the man.
“i put my phone at the bottom of my bag during locker cleanout and didn’t even think to take it out before my meeting with management. i got here as fast as i could.” nico had to catch his breath while he spoke.
“i was all alone…” you teared up, all of your emotions catching up to you again.
“i know. i know baby and i’m so sorry.” nico said, coming to your side. “can i hold her?”
you were too distracted by nico calling you baby, well more specifically by the feeling in your stomach, to answer with words. you just nodded and handed judith over. “be careful, and make sure to support her head.”
you smiled at the sight of nico holding judith, tears in his eyes, quickly taking a picture.
“were you serious about my name not being on the birth certificate?”
+++
once everything had settled down and you and nico were finally given some alone time in the hospital room you began making calls.
your mom had already messaged your families group chat, informing them of judith’s birth and sending pictures, so now you just had to call nico’s family. first was his mother, you had wanted to call her before you went into labor but it was around midnight for her and you didn’t want to wake her up.
she was so happy to hear from you, and you had never heard such an excited scream in your life when you turned the camera onto where judith was currently sleeping in your arms, nico having moved to lay behind you in the bed, his chest being your pillow.
“oh you have to call nina next, she has been so excited to become an aunt!”
that’s exactly what you two did.
facetime nina was fun, she gave you some much needed comic relief and she didn’t make any comments on yours and nico’s relationship…while he was in the room.
the second nico stepped out of the room nina was quick to ask when the wedding was.
“never gonna happen. i don’t like nico like that, and he doesn’t like me like that.” you said while putting judith back in that plastic jail they call a crib. “we’re here to talk about my gorgeous daughter who looks a little too much like nico for my liking.”
“ouch.”
your head whipped around to see nico standing at the door. “your back early.” you were hoping he didn’t hear what you had said earlier. lately nico had been acting insanely weird everytime someone brought up your relationship with one another.
“the nurse was just outside, she’s gonna go finish the final paperwork and we’ll probably be out of here in the next hour.” nico said before turning back around. “i’m gonna go help out with the discharge papers.”
once he left you let out a groan. “nina why is your brother acting so weird?”
“what’s up with him?” she asked, curiously.
“ever since the baby shower he has just been…off. i don’t even know how to explain it.” you started off, beginning to pace around the room. “he is so distant, and really out of it. i would think it might just be with the upsetting ending of the season, but this has been going on since before the playoffs. he keeps saying that he is sick and doesn’t want to expose me to germs, but i live with him and i haven’t even heard him sneeze from allergies.”
“do you think, and i hate to ask this, that he is having regrets about…everything?”
you felt tears fill your eyes at her question. “yeah, i do. i asked him, and he denied it, but i can’t think of any other reason why he would distance himself from me and from judith.”
the lack of response from your friend on the phone was enough to make you start crying.
“i have my essentials packed up and my mom has a lawyer on speed dial just in case something happens…” you felt horrible having to admit this, especially to his sister. “i don’t want the lawyers, it’s my moms doing.” you felt guilty for what having a lawyer would be implying.
“-i’m not judging you. just make sure nico doesn’t find out, i have a feeling he won’t be a fan of you even having a bag packed.” nina cut you off. “look i have to go, just keep me updated.”
you assured her you would before saying your goodbyes.
+++
“hey you just have to sign the discharge papers and the birth certificate, then we can leave.” nico said, entering the hospital room you had been in for the past couple of hours.
it had been around twenty minutes since you said goodbye to nina, deciding to finish phone calls tomorrow and instead spend your time crying while holding your crying newborn, best way to bond right?
“okay.” you sniffled. “could you put judith in her carseat? i’m gonna change.”
bond right?
“okay.” you sniffled. “could you put judith in her carseat? i’m gonna change.”
nico nodded and picked judith up from the hospital’s crib, holding her close to his chest and staring at her in awe. he couldn’t believe that this precious little girl was his.
“i’m always going to love and protect you, no matter what. your mother too. someday we’ll be a happy family, the three of us, hopeful gannon will join us sometime soon…” nico trailed off. “daddy loves you and he loves mommy too, you’re the two most important women in my life now, don’t you ever forget that…your mommy does a lot.”
nico couldn’t finish his peptalk, or whatever one would call the conversation with his daughter, because you had stepped out of the bathroom changed and ready to go. “are you okay?” it was obvious that you were crying, you don’t know why you were even trying to hid it.
“i’m fine, just emotional…just gave birth ya know.” you tried to laugh it off.
nico didn’t believe it. “we’ll talk when we get home.”
+++
“why have you been acting so weird-”
“i overheard what you said-”
you and nico spoke at the same time, nico gesturing for you to go first.
“you overheard!?” you were convinced you were breaking a sweat from how panicked you had become in an instant. “look nico, the lawyer was my mother’s idea a-and i haven’t even actually talked to them yet, my mother just has them on retainer.”
“wait, what!?” nico stared at you with a look that scared you. “i was talking about what you said at your baby shower. you have a lawyer!? do you have all your things packed too so you’re ready to leave me and take judith with you!?” your silence only made nico angrier. “oh my god you do have your shit packed.”
“j-just the essentials…” you stuttered out.
“yeah because that makes a difference.” nico had distanced himself from you. “i cannot believe this.”
“i only did that stuff because for the past month it's seemed like the last thing you wanted was to be in mine and judith’s life!” your loud voices woke judith up, her loud wails only making the room more tense. you picked her up and tried to soothe her as you spoke to nico. “i’m only gonna ask you one more time nico, do you regret being with me and deciding to be in judith’s life?”
“no. i do not regret it y/n.” nico spoke sternly.
“then why the hell are you treating us this way?”
“because i am in love with you.”
your eyes widened in shock and you nearly lost your grip on judith from the whiplash that seemed to go through your body.
“you…what!?”
it was essentially a stare down between the two of you, it was so uncomfortable in the room that even judith shut her mouth.
“i have for a year now, probably longer, a-and i thought that judith would finally be my way into your heart. i thought that me being there for you, and for our daughter, would make you love me too.” nico’s tone of voice was one of a kicked puppy.
“what are you doing?” you asked, not pleased with what he was throwing onto you. “why are you telling me this?”
“i just needed you to know.” nico whispered his response, not expecting that reaction.
“so you’ve been in love with me for a year now?” nico nodded at your question. “so how does that add up to you treating me like some gold digging whore who got pregnant on purpose for the past month?”
“i’m not-” nico let out a heavy sigh. “at your baby shower you said you couldn’t wait for everything to get back to how it was before the pregnancy.”
“yeah, so?”
“so!? you’ve basically been counting down the days until you’re able to fuck someone else, while i’ve been doing everything in my power to prove myself to you that i am worthy of being more than just the guy you fuck when no one else is available.” nico grew angry, if this was a cartoon steam would be coming out of his ears.
“i didn’t ask for you to do that nico! i was happy with how things were before judith, is it so wrong to want that back?” you were equally as angry. who was he to make you feel guilty about not being in love with him?
“yes it is! you are a mother now y/n, you are not allowed to be irresponsible anymore. you have to take care of two lives now-”
“are you not going to be helping me!?” you interrupted nico.
“when i can, yes i will, but i have a job that keeps me away a lot.”
you rolled your eyes at his words. “you are not allowed to dictate my love life just because you knocked me up.”
you didn’t know if you should be thankful or agitated that judith decided to start crying at that moment, but either way you started your slight bouncing movements back up to try and settle my daughter, as odd as it was to use that term in a real scenario, and tried to find those parental instincts everyone was always talking about.
“she’s probably hungry.”
“i didn’t ask you…but thank you i will try that.”
+++
the first night with judith was rough. as much as nico wanted to, he couldn’t leave you alone and retreat off to the hughes’, both because if his mother found out, and she would, he might as well get his obituary ready in advance and he just could not handle the torture the brothers would put him through.
it was like your daughter had a sixth sense for when you were just about to fall asleep, choosing those exact moments to cry out for something. you never knew what she wanted, always going through the same order of “milk, diaper change, pacifier, cuddles, burping, scenery change, and clothing change” until one of them worked.
nico slept on the couch, it was close enough to your room where if judith began to cry he would hear it and wake up. he was going to stay in your room with you and judith, but after the blowup of him confessing his feelings and you borderline rejecting him things it got a bit awkward. still now, almost twenty four hours later you and nico hadn’t had a proper conversation let alone spoken about what had happened.
you were on the phone with nina for a while, then your mother, then nina and your mother, both of them giving you their advice but following it up with “just listen to your heart.”, so it was all canceled out in your mind.
you turned to your newborn, who was staring at you from her little bed next to yours. “judith what am i supposed to do? your daddy, the one with the funny voice, is so amazing and sweet. he treats me like a princess, so why am i struggling so much to figure out what i want with him?”
judith stared at you with those large brown eyes, a small look of adoration on her face.
“i love you.” you whispered to her. “-and i love your father too.”
you sat up in bed, eyes widening at your revelation. you love nico.
“oh judith, thank you for listening to your mommy!”
you hopped out of bed, rushing into the living room. “nico! nico! nico! nic-”
“what!? what's wrong!? is judith alright!?” nico basically jumped off of the couch, worried that something had happened.
“she’s fine, everything is fine…well not everything it’s just.” you took a moment to look at nico, the lighting was horrible yet he still looked amazing. “i love you too nico.”
there was a silence that followed, it wasn’t awkward or filled with tension, just a calm silence.
you blinked and then suddenly nico’s lips were on yours.
the sound of judith’s cries separated your lips and caused you both to race to your bedroom.
spoiler alert: nothing was wrong with judith, she was just crying to cry.
nico’s arms were wrapped around you and were holding you into his chest as you both laughed.
“so what now? are we dating? getting married?” you asked, leaning your head against nico’s shoulder.
“as much as i would love to get married right now, we’ll start with dating…so will you be my girlfriend?” nico asked, mumbling against your head and giving light kisses every now and then.
“yes, i will be your girlfriend.”
“yes!”
you laughed at his response, judith held in both of your arms. “let’s go to bed, she’s finally asleep.”
+++
nicohischeir and y/nonfilm
nicohischier me, my girlfriend, and our beautiful babygirl. welcome to the world judith.
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jackhughes god father mode activated😎
y/nonfilm …who said you were the god father?
ninahischier best day ever!! i got a niece and a sister 🩷🩷
njdevils baby hischier alert‼️
comments on this post have been limited
+++
note: i 100% HATE this ending (the whole thing actually) it’s so rushed and just bleh, but i have literally been working on this for 71 days. SEVENTY ONE DAYS. college has been kicking my ass lately so i haven’t been very focused on writing anything. but i hope y’all still like this PLEASE DON’T LET IT FLOP i’ll cry. okay love y’all babes BYEEEE!!!
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The Aftermath
Summary: In which you left the backlash get to you after revealing your relationship with Ni-ki to the public.
Idol!Riki x Non-Idol!Reader
Warnings: angst, starvation
Broski’s ngl this was kind of rushed.
How did this happen? How did it all so quickly go downhill?
Your thoughts were all over the place as you watch all the threats and horrible comments fill your DMs. Tears well up in your eyes as you read through them.
“There’s no way Riki would go out with someone like you”
“Honestly he probably just pity’s her. I mean she looks like a pig”
“Honestly how disappointing”
This was the aftermath of you and Riki officially revealing your relationship to the public. You thought you had mentally prepared yourself for the backlash, but it seems you thought wrong.
It’s not like there were no supporters. You both had received lots of love and support. However, when looking at a blank white wall with that one singular black dot, you would notice the imperfection of the black dot first right? That how it is now. Despite all the support you can’t help but mind the toxicity being thrown your way.
You find yourself getting up from the comfort of your bed and looking the mirror. Lifting up your shirt and taking note of your bloated stomach from your lunch you just had. You can’t help but list off all your own imperfections on your body.
“Maybe it’d be better to skip dinner today..”
The next morning Riki rushes to get ready and head to your house as he wanted to hang out with you. Knocking on your door, you answer it. “Riki! You came early” you exclaimed, wrapping your arms around his shoulders bringing him in for a hug. He reciprocates the gesture, kissing your forehead before walking inside. “Well I missed you, and also wanted to see how you were doing after revealing everything to the world.” He doesn’t miss the way you smile falters for a split second.
You put your hands behind your back and start fidgeting with them. “Oh well I’m fine, honestly.” You look down. “Are you sure? You know you can talk to me.” He steps closer to you but you bring your face back up with a huge smile as if nothing’s wrong. “Yeah! Of course I’m fine. Anyway what did you want to do? We have the whole morning to ourselves before you have practice. Let’s not waste it by standing here!” You state successfully changing the subject.
“Well I was hoping we could go out for breakfast together. You know let me treat you this morning.” Riki says as he comes up behind you. The thought of going out in public with him right now sends shivers down your spine. Not only that, but going out to eat. If anyone spots you two the comments would probably get worse.
“Uh, no thanks I’m not really feeling like it right now, plus I already had a smoothie before you came.” You quickly said as you gestured towards your empty cup on the counter. Riki’s face dropped in confusion. “What? Only a smoothie” he couldn’t believe you. “Oh Come on, you and I both know I don’t have much of an appetite on the morning anyway. How about instead we go painting. It’s been a while since we’ve done that together.” You reply to him with a smile and walk away. “I’m gonna go change real quick!”. Leaving the boy stunned and even more confused. While it’s true you don’t have much of an appetite in the morning normally you’d never decline an offer like that so quickly. What’s going on?
Unfortunately it kept going on like that for a couple of days. You trying to skip meals to be someone worthy of his love. And him trying to figure out why you’re avoiding him taking you out. That is until one day.
Riki wanted to surprise you since he got off practice early. So he came to your home with roses in hand and used the spare key you gave him to come him. At first he didn’t see or hear you. As he walked around he found your bathroom door open. He could see your figure standing in front of the mirror. Before he could come up to you, in the mirror he saw you were..crying?
“God what am I doing wrong?!” You yelled out. He noticed you were looking down at something. Moving a bit closer he saw you were on top of a scale. Weighing yourself. But why? Was all the blonde boy could think of.
You stepped off the scale and turned to the mirror slightly lifting you shirt to show your stomach. “Why can’t you just go away. How can you expect to keep him when you look like this.” You yell at yourself. Seeing you like this broke his heart. Why are you doing this to yourself? How could you say all these bad things when he sees you perfect the way you are?
He’s had enough of hearing your sobs and walks toward you. You don’t notice him until you feel a pair of arms wrap around your waist. Causing you to flinch harshly, almost elbowing him in the gut before making eye contact with him on the mirror. “Riki!” You stare in disbelief and quickly wipe your tears, doing a poor job at it by the way. “Whe- why are you here? Don’t you have practice?” You question as you turn around in his arms facing him but not quite looking at him.
“You should’ve told me you were coming, I would’ve made myself more presentabl-“ “Y/N.” He cut you off. Your body stiffened from his tone. Scared at what he might say next. He stared at your shaking body. Tears stained on your face. His own eyes couldn’t help but tear up seeing the love of his life in such a state. “How long?”
Oh… That question. The one you wish you didn’t have to answer. “Riki I-“
“How long? Please, just tell me”
The crack in his voice caused you to look up at him, and see the way so many emotions swirl in his eyes. Sadness, anger, but most importantly. Concerned. Who wouldn’t be. You look down and sigh. “Since we opened up about our relationship”. You felt his grip on you tighten as he pulls you in for a big, tight hug. You can’t help but let more tears go as your body starts shaking again.
“Why didn’t you say anything? You know you can talk to me.” He stammered out. This was his fault. He thought. He should’ve payed more attention. He should’ve been there for you, to comfort you. “I’m so sorry I didn’t notice sooner.”
Now you were confused. “This isn’t your fault Riki. I just really wanted to be someone who you looked good with.” “What are you talking about?” He pulled back. “You look amazing just the way you are. I fell in love with you for so many reasons one of them being because I think you’re the most beautiful girl I’ve ever seen.”
You stared up at him in awe from his confession. “B-but the fans, they-“ “is that what this is about. Because of toxic fans.” He grabbed your arms and turned you around towards the mirror. “You know what I see right now. I see my talented, beautiful girlfriend in the mirror. Despite her tears and messy hair I still can’t help but love her because she’s that mesmerizing.” He Remarked. You face heats up, “Riki stop-“ you try to say before you get cut off Again. “No. You need to hear this”
“Y/N, I love you. No one else gets to decide that for me. Not the fans, not the company, not even you. I decide that because it’s my life, my decision. I saw you and I’ve only wanted to get to know you. To talk to you. To hold you. To love you. And that’s never going to change.”
At this point you’re both crying in each others arms. “Please never forget that. Fuck everyone else, they’re all jealous assholes who have nothing better to do.” Riki snapped out. You couldn’t help but let out a giggle from his statement.
Riki’s heart fluttered from hearing that. “There she is. I missed that smile. The genuine one. The one that stole my heart in the first place.” He smiled smiled and turned you back around towards him. “Now please, promise me you’ll take care of yourself, and talk to me when you need someone.”
You nod your head and look into his eyes. “I promise.” He lets a sigh and brings you into a big hug.
How could you be so blind. You were so focused on other people’s opinions on your relationship you forgot to take notice of the most important one. “I love you” you whispered. At first you thought you said it too quietly for him to notice until his arms tightened around him you. “I love you more.”
#enha imagines#enha niki#enhypen#enhypen riki#ni ki#ni ki x reader#nishimura niki#enhypen x reader#ni ki fluff#nishimura riki
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For the world to see.
Genevieve Heyman and Roman Reigns are the couple everyone wants to be.
Married in 2014, the couple have had a non stop life since, a reality TV show, a first set a triplets: Koa, Layla and Elle.
You’d think the couple would stop having children after that, Joe being on the rise to be the top dog in the WWE having a full time schedule and Genevieve being the head of creative backstage, the husband and wife duo are very busy people so it came with a shock that Genny was pregnant again, with another set of triplets!
Aveline, Levi and Max were born in 2019, the boys Koa, Levi and Max were inseparable, independent and the wildest kids you would ever meet. Whilst the girls Layla, Elle and Aveline were complete daddy’s girls.
The family showcased a lot of their home and family life in a reality TV show called Behind the curtain.
The show had given an opportunity to show the world how much the Anoa’i family has grown since the debut of the Wild Samoans: Afa and Sika.
————
“Good morning!”
The episode starts with Genevieve, Levi resting on her hip, descending the stairs. Joe is stood over in the kitchen, cooking up his famous blueberry pancakes for the children.
“Mum, dad said that Uncle Jon and Auntie Trin are coming today!” a very giddy Elle ran up to her mothers frame, wrapping her arms around Genny’s waist.
“They are baby, so that means you’ve all got to go get changed out of your pyjamas. Aveline, mummy will come help you with your hair once she’s spoken with daddy.”
With that the 35 year old women sends her children up the stairs.
Walking over to the stove, Viv stands behind her husband, wrapping her arms around his waist and resting her head on his broad back.
A sigh leaves her lips, Joe immediately notices this. Turning he takes his wife face between his hands.
“What’s wrong baby girl?”
“Hmm, I’m just feeling a bit off. Threw up when I woke up. I think it’s because works a bit stressful right now. Wrestlemania is coming up so i’m trying to work out all the final details with storylines.”
Joe nods in understanding, Wrestlemania is a stressful time for everyone talent and crew alike. Genevieve has a tendency to push herself too hard to create the perfect show.
“Well mama, how about me and Jon take the kids out and you and Trin can have a chill girls day, see if that helps you feel any better.”
“That’s sounds wonderful, thank you.” Ending the conversation with a kiss, Genevieve walks upstairs to go tend to her youngest daughters wild hair. Joe turns back to the stove to finish breakfast.
————
Trinity and Genevieve are sat on the lounge chairs in the garden of Joe and Gen’s Tampa home.
“Girl are you okay, Joe said you haven’t been well?” Trinity question the women across from her.
“I’m just not feeling like myself, i feel so like sluggish and just tired. I’ve been throwing up and i’m just so bloated. It’s really not what i needed this week.”
This week was crucial for Viv, she had to make Wrestlemania perfect.
“Genny, when was the last time you were on your period?”
Genevieve’s face instantly pales, she was late.
“Oh shit Trin, i’m late.”
————
“Obviously me and Joe are already parents, and it’s the best thing in the entire world. Becoming a mother has made me a better women in many ways, but already having two sets of triplets and having the work schedule like me and Joe have can prove difficult. I’m grateful for my friends and family who help out with babysitting when needed. If i am pregnant i’m just hoping it’s not more triplets!”
————
A pregnancy test sits face down in Gen’s bathroom that is currently occupied by Trinity. Having had the trust of revealing the result to an anxious Genevieve.
An alarm rings out through the bedroom indicating the time to wait is over, in one swift movement Trinity flips over the rest.
A light gasp exits her mouth followed by one sentence.
“Mama, congratulations you’re pregnant.”
“Of course i’m happy to be pregnant again, and no matter how many children i have the feeling of overwhelming joy is indescribable. I know Joe will be ecstatic when i tell him the news.”
————
It’s been a week since Genevieve found out she would introducing a new life to this world, to their family and she was yet to tell Joe.
A romantic dinner was set up with the intention of being the location of the reveal. Joseph sat across from his beloved wife, a steady conversation drifted between the couple.
“Baby i have something to tell you.” Genevieve muttered to her spouse. No matter how many pregnancies she has had, sharing the news always made her nervous.
“What’s wrong baby girl? are you okay?”
“Joe i’m fine, i’m really happy in fact. Handsome, you’re gonna be a dad to another little baby” She shyly placed the test in the table.
Joseph quickly stood up and rounded the table to take his wife into his arms.
“Baby i swear down if it’s another set of triplets i’m gonna murder you” was the phrase he was met by, slightly muffled by his shirt, he sensed the humour in the statement.
“Baby girl, we’ll have to wait and see.”
————
The pregnancy of Genevieve Anoa’i has been going fantastic, she was very familiar with the feeling of morning sickness and her loving husband was very familiar with how to help.
Revealing the news to Paul was a highlight, the short man burst into tears. Paul and the Anoa’i family had a very close bond even before the romance of Geni and Joe so the pride he felt in a new addition was worth the tears.
Many backstage moments were showcased on the show, the twins arguing over who the best uncle would be, Trinity convincing Geni the baby should have a mini ‘feel the glow’ outfit.
Hunter and Stephanie were such inspirational characters in Genevieves life so to find out baby Anoa’i would be named in honour of them caused Steph to become a blubbering mess!
————
“Baby Anoa’i will be named after both Stephane and Paul/ Hunter. Since i joined this company they have truly helped me in many ways and trusted my ideas to help further the WWE and i’m truly grateful.”
“You say the baby will be named after both of them? so a first name and a possible middle name?”
“Oh no, both individual names.”
Geni’s light chuckle is what closes out the confessional.
——
“Good afternoon guys, my name is Doctor Hemp and i’m just gonna check on little baby if that’s okay?”
The segment starts out with the Anoa’i’s in a hospital room, a check up for the mum and the baby. A cold gel is applied to the pregnant women’s belly and the doctor begins the ultrasound.
“Oh my! would you look at that! you’ve got a healthy set of twins! how exciting!”
Genevieve’s head slowly turn towards her husband who is wearing a sheepish smile, it had been an ongoing conversation between the couple. No More Triplets and whilst twins is two not three Joe knows what she is thinking.
“Joe baby i love you, but twins. You and your family genes for multiples is killing me here.” He voice hold a tone of humour so Joe and more importantly the nurse knows she’s happy with the news.
Joes hand strokes his wife’s hair, his eyes glued to the little screen. Two little babies.
“At least it not more triplets.” That’s all that leaves Joes mouth seeing as he’s quite chocked up, he loves being a father, he gets to be a father to two more little kids.
A gentle laugh echos throughout the hospital room.
————————
Delia Stephanie Anoa’i and Jasper Paul Anoa’i were born on the 14th of July 2022.
The children are loved endlessly throughout the backstage area by many. The Anoa’i children will continue to be a part of the great Samoan Dynasty with many of Joe and Gen’s children following in their father’s footsteps.
With a family of the size of theirs, even with its high and lows, there will never be a shortage of love.
@bakugoumarianawrites
Okay i know this is shit but i had writer block for the longest amount of time and had no idea how to finish this. Feel free to use the request to write your own version!
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House Pig (part 2)
“Oh piiiiiggyyy…”, I say in a soft, singsong voice as I enter our bedroom. You stir slightly in your sleep, such a cute layabout you are. You slept in a little more than you normally do, recovering from such a massive, late-night binge the previous night. But, as you have become accustomed, whenever I come in to get you up, it’s time for breakfast. You roll onto your back and slowly prop yourself up, eyes still half closed with a half-grin. You still felt so huge and bloated, but strangely hungry at the same time…you wonder if you were truly so addicted to filling your belly, or if you were actually hungry. But it’s just a fleeting thought, you knew as soon as you heard my voice, you were about to be overfed to my content.
“Mmmh..good morning feeder…”, you say playfully, finally looking at me. I was looking over your full-figured, gorgeously-fat body with pure admiration, bordering on lust, and carrying four different-sized boxes from your favorite pizza place and a 2-liter. Just then, the delicious smell filled the room and you took it in. As if you weren’t already a little hungry, that smell seemed to pull your appetite from its slumber just as I had pulled you from your own sleep. You sit up straight, your pudgy belly rolling onto your soft thighs as a soft growl rumbles from your stomach.
“Mmm, good. It sounds like my greedy hedonist is already hungry. And after such a good feeding last night…”, I say with a grin, stepping up to the bed and setting the warm boxes in front of you. I climb onto the bed and sidle up beside you, placing a hand on the side of your cheek and leaning in to kiss you deeply on the lips. You feel my index finger and thumb slowly trail down to begin gently caressing your double chin. It looked so good on you, your chubbing-up face; it was adorable. “You really seem to be adjusting to this lifestyle well, don’t you?”, I say, half-teasing while keeping my hand on your double chin.
“Only because you won't stop spoiling me!”, you respond with a soft chuckle. It was true, you had fully leaned into the sedentary lifestyle you were now allowed to have after quitting your job. You really had no responsibilities anymore, no worries, no stress, just mindless indulgence and care-free living. Although, it was certainly having an effect on your waistline…just a few months of living like this and you were completely unable to fit into any of your jeans. You even tried on some of your work pants the other day just to see, and couldn’t even get them buttoned. What would your old coworkers say if they knew you were letting yourself become my personal blimp?
“Ohh, come on now, are you going to put all of the responsibility for THIS on ME?”, I say, reaching down to grip your belly roll. It was so soft, my fingers curling under that sensitive under-belly. Such a simple act, yet it causes you to gasp and moan softly. My fingertips rest right on some of your stretch marks under there, both of us able to feel those lovely signs of your recent gluttony. “Well, if you’re going to blame me for all this wobbling fat, I might as well make sure to take every bit of that blame, shouldn’t I?”, I say as I open up the top box, revealing a full order of cheesy breadsticks. It smells so good, so savory, you’re ready to gorge yourself. You’re ready to get so stuffed that you can barely move.
I take a couple breadsticks from the box and stack them on top of one another, placing one hand behind your back to grab one of your back rolls. “Now open up, my greedy piggy. You have a lot of eating to do…”, I say while bringing the cheesy bread to your lips. And of course you’re going to obey, aren’t you? You part your lips and open wide, placing your hands on your belly and jiggling it. You know how to get to me, there’s never any doubt about that. Seeing you so eager to begin filling your belly drives me wild, and you know that. You know that the more you entice and tease me, the more full you’ll end up when I’m simply too overtaken by lust to stop stuffing your face. I watch you shake your empty, chubby gut for a moment before I push the calorie-rich bites into your mouth, one by one, until the whole box is empty. That had to be a record…you were so insanely gluttonous and I was so relentless in feeding them to you, it was impressive. A little more marinara left, I place the cup at your greasy lips and pour the rest of it down your throat before tossing the empty box to the side.
“Mmm…so hungry this afternoon, aren’t you? Wow…”, I tease, patting your dense belly and admiring you. Just one course in, crumbs and a little sauce on your face and down your torso, we were just getting started. I open up the 2-liter and offer it to you, letting you take it and drink to your content. A few gulps later, and a cute belch to punctuate the first course, I open up the next box, and position myself behind you. The next box sitting warm on your lap, you knew just what it was: your favorite pasta bowl. I run my hands up your sides, sitting behind you, your wide hips pushing my legs apart. “Go on…dig in, baby.”, I whisper into your ear as I grope and caress every soft roll on your body.
You have hardly any time to moan before pulling the bowl right up to your face and begin to shovel the pasta into your greedy mouth. You might as well be oinking, the way your face is buried in this trough of a bowl. One would think you hadn’t eaten for days, the way you stuffed your face. “God, just look at you…no wonder you’ve gotten so gorgeously plump…”, I say in your ear, kissing the side of your neck while grabbing your love handles. My hands explore your body, feeling every softened part of you that just keeps growing. Your thighs, your burgeoning gut, so many rolls developed recently, it’s ridiculous. Even the fat pad right below your belly was taking over the area where belly and thighs meet.
It was becoming shockingly clear how ravenous your appetite had become, polishing off the pasta bowl before either of us knew it. And just in true-glutton fashion, you dip your fingers into the bowl and lick them off, not letting the tiniest bit of food remain. “You’ve MADE me so greedy…so plump…I just can’t stop myself anymore. I’m addicted and it’s all your fault…”, you say after letting out a labored exhale from finishing your second course. Right for the 2-liter you go, sucking down all the sugary, empty calories that stretch your stomach. They say drinking your calories really packs on the weight quickly, let alone when you’re drinking your calories AND eating excessively.
I reach around and pat your slightly-bulging stomach, feeling that it’s getting a little tight. I chuckle softly, knowing that we have a whole pizza to still get stuffed in there. “You aren’t getting full yet, are you? I know your appetite is bigger than that.”, I say as I rub small circles over the surface of your belly.
“No, I’m still so hungry…feed me more…”, you say, grabbing the pizza box yourself and leaning back against my chest. I take the box and put it to the side before grabbing a couple pieces of the greasy pizza and stacking them just like the breadsticks. From behind, I start to feed you while I jiggle your cellulite-covered thigh.
“Look at all this. So much wobbling fat you’ve piled on, everywhere on your body. Your hip bones are so deep under there…”, I practically moan as I tuck my hand under your belly roll and gently squeeze where your hip bone would show, if it weren’t so buried in fat. “What’s going to happen when you get too fat for me to reach around you from here, huh? Just imagine how massive I will have made you by then…”, I say, taking two more pieces of pizza to stuff in your mouth. “You’re already my docile, addicted, fat pig. At this point it’s only a matter of time before you can only waddle around, jiggling from the bottom up. You want that though, don’t you? I can tell you do…”
You begin panting slightly, the arousal getting to you just as much as the fullness, and you’re only able to utter a submissive “Fuck…I do…”. You had already consumed thousands of calories, with more to go. You know that every bite forced into your body will only make it bigger, softer, and heavier. As sedentary as you had become, there was no chance of any of these calories to be burned off, other than the bare minimum it takes to keep yourself functioning. Every single day you give in to me, you sink deeper and deeper into obesity, deeper and deeper into the lifestyle of a kept and fattened pet. And it was making you so embarrassingly horny right now, with my hands on you, feeding you and teasing you.
“You’re so good when you give in. There’s no reason not to, is there? You know this hot for both of us, you know how good you look when you’re so spoiled and enabled, so big and pampered for me…”, I say, slowly sliding my hand below your belly, between your thighs, encouraging you even more. You inhale deeply, feeling me tease you in this way, just to drive you into such a pleasure-filled state. Your mind had become so conditioned to associate eating and a full belly with ultimate pleasure and satisfaction, it’s no wonder you had become so wide and heavy. It was arousing enough to be such a glutton on your own, but now, with me enabling you so hard, it was orgasmic.
“You’ve enabled me so much, I basically- Nnh…have no choice but to grow…I need it- Mmph..”, you moan before I push another bite into your mouth to finish your sentence. You swallow it down quickly, one would think you hadn’t eaten through two boxes already. “God, you really want me waddling…you really want me- Mmmm…so fucking huge…”, you moan.
“Mmm, you know I do…I just can’t stop feeding you, you’re right. I’m addicted to how your body looks when it’s so overfed, so spoiled. I need more just as much as you do…”, I whisper before feeding you the last two pieces of your extra large pizza. Another box gone, I toss it to the side and slide my hand over your engorged stomach. I can feel how full you are. It’s dense and rounded out, but as I pat it gently, your lower belly still wobbles. Even stuffed nearly to the brim, your body was fattened up enough to jiggle. “So good…”, I say with an air of reverence while running my hand over your belly, over your rolls while my other hand continues to urge you deeper into this scene of pure hedonism. “You’ve done such a good job, baby…only a little more and you can cum for me.”
You let out a soft groan, feeling pretty full at this point, and so bloated with all the greasy calories and sugary soda filling your gut. But there was one last box, one last delicious hurdle to finish before you could have your reward, and you had a feeling of just what the last box held for you. You lazily open it, finding exactly what you expected, and honestly, were excited for: a big cookie pizza. We both knew you had an immense sweet tooth, and I was all too keen on satiating it.
You lean forward a little to fully take the box, groaning and straining to do 1/8th of a sit up. Once you have it, you let all your weight fall back into me with a grunt before you start pushing the sweet, dense pieces of cookie into your mouth. You could almost feel your clothes tightening by the second, with every bite…pants were getting snug within weeks of buying them. Shirts strained to hold in your doughy gut, love handles, and back rolls. You were growing exponentially, and you couldn't stop…you wanted to stuff your belly, you wanted to feel the euphoria of being blissfully full, you wanted to cum from being so good and gluttonous for me.
Your mind races and your body tingles with pleasure as I continue to stimulate you through your impressive binge. Your stomach was so tight now. You were panting, whimpering, moaning as you got the last couple pieces of cookie down. You push down the last bite and lick your fingers, revelling in what a hog you had been, and in a daze from how full you were. "All…*huff* *huff*…all done…fuck, I'm such a glutton for you…I need to cum, baby. I was so good…", you groan, struggling to keep your eyes open from the overfed state you were in.
"You were so good…you ate every single bite. Such a good piggy for me, you certainly deserve to be rewarded," I say, gently rubbing your swollen gut. You were remarkable, honestly. All 4 boxes, all 4 courses, stuffed into your greedy belly. "I knew you were my little glutton, but fuck…you really lost yourself in this feast, didn't you? You were fully indulgent. Just the way I want you to be…", I say as I grab your flabby belly roll and shake it just gently enough.
You lay your head back and take it all in. The fullness, my words, the knowledge that you had been ballooning and would continue to do so, and that I was enabling you so hard, it was enough to push you right to the edge. You moan, arching your back ever so slightly into me, and I can feel your thighs shaking and jiggling. I chuckled softly, knowing my horny little pig was close.
"Go on, piggy…I want to feel you cum for me. I want to feel how pleased you are with yourself for being such a gluttonous hog…", I whisper in your ear, only to be immediately followed with the shaking of your whole body, your legs quivering, and your voice trembling in an ecstasy-filled moan. Your orgasm makes the bed creak, so much weight shaking and moving, I can practically feel you blushing as I rest my hand on the side of your stretch-marks-covered side and hold your underbelly with the other. "That's it…that's my good fatty…", I say before kissing your chubby neck.
Your heavy breathing calms down as your orgasm subsides. You rest the back of your head on my shoulder, relaxed and letting your belly digest the obscene amount of food packed inside it. "You…you're going to make me unrecognizably huge…aren't you..?", you ask, with a slightly excited tone.
I smile and lovingly caress your thigh. "Your friends and family will be shocked to see you if we keep this up. Imagine the concern, when they realize just how much you've let me pork you up…", I say. In truth, it may have already gotten to that point, seeing the amount of fat you had gained recently. But both you and I knew: there was much more to come. You were my prize, trophy piggy. And I was going to make sure you lived the most hedonistic, self-indulgent life you could possibly have.
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OKAY! So!! I am one week post op from top surgery and here are the things I have learned:
• nothing prepares you for how fucking bloated you get. It is emotionally and physically devastating.
• eat protein or you’re going to start dreaming about it.
• get ready to literally not have any reading comprehension or speaking ability until you’re after the heavy pain med. and then after that as well…
• holy shit your back is gonna hurt. You can’t crack it. No twisting.
• you can’t use ice packs on your actual chest, but they’re lifesavers to sleep with- I put mine under my neck on my pillow to keep my neck from cramping.
• the pressure and tension on your chest is uncomfortable but not unbearable. Mostly it’s just annoying.
• you need pockets. Dear gods you NEED pockets.
• you do not want pants with a button. The button pants will not fit and it will make you sad. It’s just not even worth trying. Just have drawstring pants, it’s easier on the ego.
• wiping your ass is hard now. I’m sorry.
• blowing your nose hurts. Sneezing hurts. Coughing hurts. Laughing hurts. Just… avoid needing too much lung capacity all at once.
• If you have body hair prepare for your compression garments to hurt. My skin is so tender and painful all of the time. And there’s no break.
• if you keep your nipples you won’t be allowed to shower for 2 weeks. You’re going to start stinking. Have someone around you that is willing to wash your hair like how they wash babies hair. Also have rubbing alcohol so that you can neutralize your armpit stink because deodorant is off limits for your healing incisions.
• chapstick is not optional. You’re going to want it.
• same goes for a big cup with a well-sealed lid and a straw. Drink so much water.
• you’re going to feel helpless and useless. It sucks. It’s okay. Don’t push yourself.
• you’re going to want to wear pants with pockets to bed so you have somewhere to put your drains. You’ll be so tired that it doesn’t matter for the first couple days.
• you want the longest phone charger known to man. I promise. There is no such thing as too long.
• ask for the anti-nausea patch. You’re going to want it, and it lasts like 3 days. Throwing up HURTS.
• the healthier you can be before the surgery the easier your recovery is going to be. It isn’t fatphobic or stuck up or whatever else people say to lose excess weight and eat super clean before your surgery. Start moving your body every day. Start practicing going from sitting to standing and laying to standing without using your hands. Your body will reward effort to be healthy with safer surgery and easier healing.
• oh my god buy a serious laxative that you know works for you. Your body will literally forget how to shit.
• if you can, buy paper medical tape, gauze pads, and extra strength Tylenol. You will use them.
• plan to take naps. There is no weakness in a nap.
• get up and stretch your legs hourly. I promise it’s worth it. You will feel so much better.
• you’re going to want a hat or some sort of hair control.
• if the binder doesn’t fit you in the arm holes, you don’t have to let it chafe at your armpits and hurt like a mother fucker. Just cut the arm holes wider with a pair of scissors.
• have some sort of routine. You’ll fall apart otherwise.
• you’re going to be snippy and bitchy. Get ready to apologize for being an asshole. Short tempers happen, but don’t forget to say sorry.
• prepare yourself for all the random tape and other stuff to itch. You just have to grin and bear it. Things are so itchy.
That’s all I can think of right now, plus I’m sleepy. I will add to the list when I think of more ^_^
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Fast Food Rep, part 2
- commissioned and written by DeltaC -
ii.
John: DAMN. It’s been a few weeks since I came clean to Steve. The amount of guilt has been overwhelming Steve doesn’t deserve this. He took it relatively well. I was expecting a blow out. A full on fight. I wasn’t expecting the calm demeanor. The acceptance and the willingness to go forward with the situation.
And for some reason when Steve spoke of his future belly covering his cock and growing a wide bum…I don’t know it drove my motor into overdrive. I’ve never been harder. Never have I been as excited to take him then and there. It was the hottest night of love making we ever experienced. I want more. No, I need more!
**The following morning was what caught me off guard. True to his words he wanted a huge breakfast and damn did he demolish it all. The bloat he had afterwards. The bloat was such a sight I just had to rub his tummy. Just seeing him devour everything, the bloat, and the belly rubs it was simply too much. Not too long after the final bite did I notice my raging hard on in my underwear.**
Steve: So come on down and join me for a mega size meal down at Beluga Marv’s burger town! Where every hamburger patty is mega sized and grilled to perfection!
Director: And cut that’s a wrap! We’ll pick it up tomorrow morning. Great job everyone. Yo big Steve-O you are doing great. Are you sure you have never acted before? You are a natural.
Steve: Aww shucks you really think so?
Director: Absolutely! I mean you are a bit on the hefty side, but trust me if you lose a couple here and there you can make a killing as an actor. Heck, pack on enough muscle and you’ll be a Hemsworth!
Steve: Thanks again. Yeah, I’m not sure about that. Plus this belly here has grown on me.
Director: Haha pun intended? Huh cute and with a sense of humor. Here is my card if you ever change your mind and decide to drop a few.
***
Steve: Huh, a Hemsworth? Haha what a fun idea, but no, I rather enjoy the heft and that dervish twinkle behind John’ eyes every time he squeezes my belly. I don’t think John realizes how much my fat is turning him on these days. Our loving making has intensified tenfold. Before John would have me focus on his beefed up physique, but nowadays John seems more focused on me. I do love the gentle belly rubs he gives me. How John fondles and squeezes my budding love handles as he whispers sweet words into my ear. The way he describes my fattening body…there is a hunger in his tone that drives me wild and to eat more for him. To grow for my Papi. The breathless desire that wells up as he nuzzles my neck and smothers me in kisses. Sometimes it is sensory overload. No, I think this belly is here to stay.
***
John: There’s my big boy! How was your first day on set? I see we need to get you a new tank top. Your cute little belly is peaking underneath again. Mind if I tickle it?
Steve: Hehe. John cut that out, you know how ticklish I have become. First day was fun. Get this, the director thinks I can make it big as an actor.
John: Oh you have gotten BIG already baby.
Steve: Stop that already I’m blushing as is. You’re not going to stop until you get your hands on my tummy and tickle it aren’t you?
John: Maybe.
Steve: Gosh you can be such a kid sometimes, which is why I love you so much. Fine give it a quick squeeze…hey you said just the tummy! You made no mention of ass grabbing.
John: Eh I got greedy sue me.
As much as I miss Steve’s lean hunky body this increase isn’t half bad. His bum is still nice and firm as are his chest and arms. Maybe, just maybe, it won’t be so bad if he continues getting fatter. If he is able to maintain some muscle under all the fat he has been piling on we may be able to hit 300 lbs without him getting to be such a whale. Muscle does weigh more than fat. He just needs to keep on eating and gaining. It is selfish on my part, but at the pace Steve is gaining it looks like I am off the hook for being his replacement.
Steve: Earth to John. Why are you staring at me like that?
John: Oh it’s nothing. Say how’s about we hit a buffet and fill up that tummy of yours. Then we’ll go home and I’ll rub down that sexy belly of yours and who knows if you are a good boy I’ll let you…
Steve: Deal! You had me at the buffet. Let’s get going.
Damn he is so cute when he hears the mere mention of filling his tummy to the max. Yeah maybe a fat hubby won’t be so bad after all…
John: Umm babe let’s get you some new jeans too. As much as I love seeing you in form fitting jeans you are just about to split out of those.
Steve: What? Nooo? I just got these. There is no way I’m about to split them…
PING!
What was that?
John: That baby was your button flying off your jeans and into the camera cracking the lens. I say we slip out as quietly as we can before the cameraman notices.
Steve: Agreed! Ummm can we not run though?
John: Heh you got it big boy.
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Ben part 4
Trevor walked in through the door, wearing his typical work clothes. Cargo pants, boots, and a red flannel, with dust and oil spots. Ben could tell he'd been working in the sun all day.
"bruh I'm starving right now. Haven't eaten anything all day. want to go get some food?"
Ben felt himself get excited. He'd been touching his belly just when Trevor walked in. He was starting to be able to grab his fat. All of his shirts were starting to cling to him. He had no choice but to show his belly off. Even as Ben sat on the couch, he knew Trevor could see it.
"uh, yeah let's go!" Ben said.
"I thought you'd be down to go, big guy!" Trevor eyes glanced at Ben's belly, them looked up at ben, giving a subtle wink.
Ben's dick started to get hard and he had to distract himself to stay composed.
Trevor drove Ben in his pick up, wearing his typical ball cap, tank top, and worn-out denim jeans. Ben, in the passenger seat wore a white Tshirt and some work out shorts with an elastic waist band. Those were the only pants that fit him.
"So where are we eating?" Ben asked
"I'm thinking golden corral" Trevor replied in an almost seductive tone.
"oooh I could go for that right now"
"oh I'm sure judging by the way you been eating lately" Trevor said, with a chuckle. He grabbed a small handful of bens belly and gave in a little shake. Ben felt his new belly jiggle. His dick immediately started to swell. Ben struggled to contain his excitement. To his disbelief, Trevor gave a subtle wink.
Ben and Trevor grabbed their first plates. Ben loaded his plate up with lasagna, garlic bread, fried shrimp, and meatballs. While Trevor grabbed some steak, potatoes, fries, and wings. As they sat down, Ben felt his belly rest slightly on his thighs. They both started digging in. Trevor started with the wings. Ben was already half through his lasagna in just a couple minutes.
As Ben got more full, he noticed Trevor's eyes looking up at him. When Ben looked up, Trevor quickly looked away. After a few plates, Ben couldn’t hide his belly under his shirt. After he finished another plate, Ben groaned.
“I can’t possibly eat anymore” he said, out of breath.
“Oh come on, you can do better than that big guy.”, Trevor responded, giving his signature wink.
“No, for real, I’m so fuckin full”
Trevor laughed and got up for another plate. Ben could tell even Trevor’s flat body was straining against his tank top. Ben looked around, and saw a dining room full of men pushing their limits. Almost all of them displayed obvious bellies. Even the few thin guys there were obviously full beyond belief. Lethargic, with barely even a thought in their heads. Then from behind, Trevor’s hairy arm set a plate in front of Ben. A plate full of brownies, and a small bowl of ice cream. Trevor came around and sat down with his own plate.
“I know you can’t resist bro” he said with a mischievous grin.
“Fuck dude I’m going to get so fat eating like this!” He said with a laugh mixed with a groan
“Who cares! This is America! We’re all gonna get fat one day. Eat up!” Trevor said chuckling as he stated eating his dessert plate.
Ben couldn’t believe it. Is this really happening? But he was so full he couldn’t even think. So he started eating. His dick hard as a rock beneath the table. As hard as his stuffed belly, which he could feel touching the edge of the table.
When they got back home, ben fell into the couch and leaned back, his shirt riding up his enormous belly. Trevor shut the door behind him and took off his tank top, exposing his hairy, muscular but bloated body. Both men were completely incapacitated, and lethargic… and secretly horny. Trevor sat next to Ben.
“Damn boy” Trevor said, as he gave Ben a little belly rub. The feeling of Trevor’s rough hand against his full belly was too much to handle and he let out an involuntary moan. And instead of pulling his hand back, he continued, reaching his hand under bens shirt. Feeling the solid round curve, and the black scruff of bens body.
“Mmmm” Trevor moaned, seemingly so full he couldn’t even speak coherently. Bens dick grew harder as it pressed against his work out shorts. Trevor was getting a bit of a hard on as well. With one hand he started stroking his dick through his jeans, and with the other he continued to grope bens belly. Ben started reaching down for his own dick, moaning in ecstasy. His other hand was also rubbing his fattening belly.
“Fuck bro I’m gonna get so fucking fat” Ben muttered. Trevor shifted so he was positioned on bens lap. He started rubbing his dick on bens belly through his jeans.
He put his moth up to bens ear and whispered “I bet you can’t even cum unless that belly is full, fatboy. I’m gonna get you so fuckin huge you won’t even be able to touch your own dick.” He reached down and began stroking bens dick through his work out shorts, already wet with precum. Ben let out a submissive moan. Trevor knelt down and pressed his face into bens belly, letting out gutteral groans as they both jerked off. They both came at once, shooting loads onto bens belly. They both collapsed on the couch, exhausted, dumb, and full beyond belief. Trevor continued rubbing Ben, as he continued to twitch from his continuous orgasm.
Little did they know just how real their fantasy was about to become
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Blearily blinking away as the morning light comes through the window, I slowly drag myself to consciousness. The groggy haze of my mind tries to lull my back to sleep, but pushing through the fog I stir. Opening my bleary eyes, I take in my surroundings.
I’m seated on a bed, slumped forward over myself. It’s an enormous thing, three times the size of an Alaskan King Bed. Lifting my head past the comforting red sheets, I catch sight of the sheer beg hangings that surrounded it. The rest of the room was vague through them, only letting sunlight from the window enter. I knew that there was furniture laid out for the other residents of the house, but that hardly mattered to me.
I wasn’t going anywhere.
Sitting up straighter, I wince as the mattress springs creak underneath me. My stay at this place had changed me.
Gone was the little woman that had entered this place. I was outrageously fat. Clad in nothing but my underwear, I could only look down at my huge self. My legs were splayed out in front of her, huge doughy limbs that were layered in fat. Each thigh alone was bigger than most people could get their arms around, with my heavy belly falling between them, resting against the mattress. It was huge and weighty, a dome that tried to tug me forward even as I sat back on my fat ass.
Sighing, my bloated bust rising and falling, two watermelon sized mounds that kept my breathing slow and lustful despite my feelings.
The other thing keeping me in place was the ribbons tied around my wrist. Holding my arms above my head, squishing my fatty biceps against the sides of my face, it only made me feel more hoggish as I was kept helpless.
Waiting, I knew what was coming soon. Sure enough, the telltale clicking of metal wheels sounded outside my room, and I heard the door open. A wide, wide shadow passed by the curtain around my bed, pushing a rattling metal cart. A set up tubby fingers pulled back the curtain, and there I saw my captor.
“Awake already, are we? Normally I would have to waft a doughnut under that nose of yours to wake you~”
Giggling to herself as she sat on the edge of the bed, Yukari hummed in delight. She was enormous, a landwhale of a woman that could probably crush a couch underneath her. Even fatter than me, the top heavy woman’s huge shape could make any woman jealous... so long as you only paid attention to her breasts twice the size of pumpkins.
Lifting up a leg as thick as most barrels, she giggled as she climbed up closer to me, pressing herself against my wide side. “Someone is finally starting to get used to my attention. That’s why I thought we might do something special for a change~”
Another should passes by the other side of my bed, just as wide as Yukari’s silhoutte, and I stare as the curtain is pulled back.
“Long time no see~”
I stare. I know this person, as hugely fat as they are. Watching as their ten foot width squishes down on the other side of the bed, squashing into my other side. Tohru was an old friend, one I had asked to help me gain. She’d recommended I come here to put on a few pounds.
...That was when Yukari had captured me, and fed me relentlessly ever since.
“Sorry if it was a surprise when Miss Yukari caught you, but I knew she’d treat you well! I just thought that this place would be perfect!”
“Considering you’re such a pig~”
I stare at her change in attitude, wincing as one of her hands goes to my gut, rubbing in small circles. I try to protest, to say I’m not a pig I’m a person, but I’m cut off as Yukari’s hand comes to my mouth. Huffing and grunting around a mouthful of pastry, I fight to swallow it down, gasping as I caught a chance to breath.
“Oh, don’t be so nasty to her! She’s be a lovely bit of livestock~” Giving my belly a pat, Yukari smirked. “Most people still try to spit food out after the first couple of days, but she started to scarf it down within the first hour~”
The two of them giggle, and I can’t stop myself from flushing with shame as she feeds me another treat. Swallowing down a dense slice of pie, Tohru’s hand cups my face as she pushes a brownie past my lips. Then Yukari lifts up a wedge of pie... and stops just short of my lips.
Tohru looks at her curiously, but Yukari doesn’t say anything, just leaving the slice in front of me. The mix of apple filling and whipped cream fills my nose, suffices the inside of my mouth. I swallow a bit of drool, staring at it as a piece drips down onto my gut. I lean forward, trying to take a bite, but it’s just out of my reach.
My stomach gurgles.
“I...I need it... p... please...”
Cackling with glee as I bed, Yukari clamps her hand around my face, forcing me to swallow it without chewing. My cheeks bulge as I fight to get it down, gasping as I manage it. The two of them are ecstatic, giggling and squishing even closer to me, their weights pushing me against the headboard of the bed as they fed me faster and faster.
I could barely pay attention to what passed my lips, lost in a sea of calories. I only know the warmth of their heavy bodies squashing me down into the bed, watching as my stomach crept forward inch by inch.
Finally, after what felt like hours, no more food comes. I groan and belch, hiccupping and burping to try and make space in my gut.
“You did a super duper good job with her~”
Leaning up against me, kissing the curve of my belly, I watch as Tohru’s massive hips sway back and forth in delight, the entire bed creaking and swaying as her weight shifted about. Bringing a hand to her absurdly gigantic chest, Yukari tutted.
“Don’t praise me. She’s been an exceptional pig. But she has a long way to go until she’s as big as this mattress~”
A spike of panic stirs me from my stupor, but the pounds upon pounds of food in my belly lull me back against the bed. Yukari titters with laughter as she leans up over me, squishing my head between her boobs. The entire world is lost to me, but as she moves away from smothering me, my arms are free. Flopping against my sides, my bingo wings clapping against my love handles, she giggles.
“We’ll have more fun with that later. For now, you can have a nice nap.”
The two of them stand up, pulling back the curtain as they wobble off. As they pass by, I hear one last thing before a food coma claims me.
“Could I invite some friends over to have lunch with her~?”
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Title: One Drunken Night (Part 5.)
CHAPTER TITLE: Navigating Relationships
Character(s): Negan (pre-apocalypse), Joel Miller (pre-apocalypse, au), Reader (third-person POV), Lucille
Summary: Negan finds out some unsettling news. Joel and Reader finally have their date, but is interrupted by Negan.
Word Count: 3,717
Author's Note: Doing a little time jump in the next upcoming chapters! I hope you guys are enjoying this story as much as I’m enjoying writing it. The angst is here... And if you know me, you know how much I love writing angst... hehe. Enjoy!
Warning: Language (it is Negan after all), talks about cancer
(GIF Source: @jdmorganz, @magnusedom)
Y/N heard a knock on the door, smiling in excitement. She finished setting the table and walked towards the door, taking a deep breath. Finally, she opened the door and blushed at the sight of Joel, who was holding flowers.
“Hey, darlin’.” He gave her a small smile, stepping into her apartment and leaning over to kiss her cheek. Joel pulled back to look down at her, noticing her big eyes staring into him and he felt his heart flutter at the sight. “I got ya flowers.” He was nervous. It had been a very long time since he had been on a date and he didn’t want to mess this up.
“They’re beautiful, thank you.” Y/N was taken aback by the kiss he gave her, feeling his soft lips touch her skin and his beard brushing against her. She bit her lower lip, taking the flowers from him and shutting the door behind him.
It had been almost a month since Y/N met Negan and while she was still in communication with him, she was still so confused with her feelings for both men. It also didn’t help that she had been feeling sick for almost a full week now. She had been throwing up in the mornings, accompanied with mood swings and random food cravings. She associated it with her period coming soon, but when she finally felt recovered enough, Y/N immediately reached out to Joel to invite him over for dinner. For their date.
“How was your day?” She asked, leading him to the kitchen as she grabbed a vase to put the flowers in.
Joel smiled, leaning against the counter as he watched her carefully. “It was fine. Just happy to be here.”
He saw her stop for a moment to look over at him and Joel noticed the blush in her cheeks. She bit her lower lip and then continued to put the flowers in the vase.
“I’m glad you’re here… And I’m glad we’re finally doing this. For a minute there, it seemed like life didn’t want us to go out,” she teased.
Joel nodded in agreement, bringing a hand to run over his hair. “Well, I’m pretty persistent when I want something, so no matter what, we were gonna go out on a date.”
Y/N smiled. “Technically, we’re not out.”
Joel chuckled. “Still, we’re on a date. Next time, I’ll take ya out.”
“Oh, there’s gonna be a second date?” Y/N teased. Joel smiled.
“I sure hope so.”
Y/N then led him in her kitchen, setting the flowers down onto the table. She looked over at him and noticed his casual clothes, dressed in blue jeans and a dark colored t-shirt. He had removed his boots, but she enjoyed his casual attire. She, on the other hand, was dressed in leggings and an oversized t-shirt because while she was experiencing some pretty painful pre-period symptoms, she had also been feeling bloated for a couple of days now too.
Joel, on the other hand, continued to look at her like she was the most beautiful person he’d ever seen. It made her blush and she had to wonder if he always looked at her like that.
“This looks great,” he complimented. “Smells amazing too.”
“Can’t go wrong with some steak and potatoes.”
She sat down with him and inched closer to him. Joel noticed and smiled, nervously reaching a hand out to rest on her thigh. He heard her breath hitch in her throat and immediately retracted, apologizing instantly.
“I’m sorry, I–”
She shook her head and took his hand, letting it rest back on her leg. “I like it.”
“You sure?”
Joel was taken by surprise when she leaned over to kiss his cheek. It was such an innocent kiss, but he couldn’t help that his mind was drifting to more inappropriate thoughts. While it had been a while since he had been on a date, it also had been a long time since he was with anyone. Intimately.
“How about we eat?” Y/N asked, breaking the silence.
Joel nodded. “Thanks for making dinner, darlin’.”
“Thanks for coming over, Joel.”
He smiled and leaned down to kiss her forehead. Once he pulled away, Joel noticed her staring at him and he wanted nothing more than to just capture her lips with his. He had to pull himself together and turn his attention to the plate of food sitting in front of him. Y/N followed his movement, grabbing her utensils and beginning to eat.
Throughout their meal, Y/N’s laughter filled the room and Joel felt his heart swell at the sound. He was having an amazing time and while they had plenty of one-on-one time together, it just felt different now. In a good way. He felt himself falling deeper for her by the second.
“Wait, wait, so you’re telling me that you lost a bet to Tommy and therefore, you had to streak at your high school’s football game?” Y/N giggled. Their meals were finished and they had moved to the couch with Y/N reader facing Joel, her eyes staring at him.
Joel chuckled, nodding in embarrassment. “It wasn’t my finest moments. I was young… But a bet is a bet.”
“Good to know you’re a man of your word,” she smiled. “I was never the type to get in trouble in school.”
“Ya know, I can see that.” Joel teased.
“What?” She asked, feigning a shocked expression. “Do I really give off that vibe?”
Joel laughed. “I just mean that you’re too nice and too thoughtful that I can’t think of you ever breaking the rules.”
She pouted and Joel found it cute. “I have broken the rules.”
“Oh yeah?”
“Yeah.”
“Then tell me about it,” he urged.
Y/N bit her lower lip and leaned forward, keeping her eyes glued onto his.
“Okay, well… I was a really good liar as a kid,” she admitted, thinking back to her childhood. It made her sad to think about her parents and about Waffles, but it still brought her good memories.
“I’m not quite sure that’s a good way to start,” he commented.
Y/N shook her head. “You gonna let me tell the story or what?”
Joel grinned, “Okay, okay. Go on then.”
“Anyway, I wasn’t allowed to date or have a boyfriend. Being an only child… My parents were very protective of me. They wanted me to just focus on school. But, I had a huge crush on this guy who was way too old for me.”
“Seems like you have a type,” Joel added.
Y/N blushed. “I was a junior in high school and he was in college. Anyway, for about six months, I snuck out to be with him and my parents didn’t find out until…”
“Until?”
“Until I came home one night and my mom was there, sitting at the kitchen counter. I can still remember the look on her face,” she giggled.
“Was she upset?”
“Oh yeah. She woke my dad up and they both sat me down and lectured me, wanting to know what I was doing, who I was with, if I was out of my mind…”
“And?”
Y/N smiled, “Well, I also had an attitude when I was younger, so I talked back.”
Joel arched a brow. “You? Talking back?” He teased. “How dare you.”
She playfully smacked his upper arm, feeling him pull her closer to him. She cleared her throat and looked up at him, leaning against his side.
“What’d you tell them?” Joel asked.
“That I was old enough to be having sex.”
Joel widened his eyes, clearing his throat. “Seriously?”
“What? It was the truth,” she laughed.
Joel looked down at her and flashed her a smile. He bit his lip and stared into her eyes. Holding her in his arms and being this close to her felt like home; it felt like she belonged there, with him.
“You continue to surprise me. Here I was, thinking you were a good girl,” Joel replied.
Y/N cleared her throat. She was sure that Joel didn’t mean for it to come out as naughty and dirty as it did, but he did take note of the blush appearing in her cheeks.
“I mean–” He stuttered, trying to apologize before he heard her interrupt him.
Y/N giggled. “I’m a good girl, Joel… But I can be bad.” She winked.
Joel grunted quietly, arching a brow in her direction and leaning closer to her. “You teasin’ me?”
“That depends. You want me to?”
Joel narrowed his eyes down at her, leaning into her as their lips were mere inches apart. Before he could lean in to close the distance, he felt her pulling away.
“I’m sorry, I gotta–” She pointed in the direction of the bathroom, immediately feeling embarrassed that she had to ruin the mood.
Joel smiled, nodding his head as he was brought back to reality. It was way too early for him to kiss her and certainly too early for them to have sex, but he couldn’t help it. His mind kept drifting to the idea that it would eventually happen and the more they talked tonight, the more he found himself falling for her even more.
“Don’t worry about it. I’ll be here.”
Y/N stood from the couch and quickly walked to the bathroom. She felt sick all of a sudden and had to wonder why her pre-period symptoms were more painful and more aggressive this time around; it was never this bad before.
While Y/N was in the bathroom, Joel heard her phone begin to ring. Glancing over his shoulder in the direction she walked in, he bit his lower lip and noticed the name on the screen.
Negan.
He furrowed a brow and his curiosity got the best of him. Joel took her phone and answered it, hearing the other man’s voice immediately.
“Hey doll–”
“It’s Joel.”
There was a long silence and Joel had to wonder why Negan was calling. “Um, can you let Y/N know to call me back?”
“Why?”
“I just– I gotta talk to her.”
“For what?” Joel asked, feeling himself get frustrated at the sound of Negan’s voice. His mind drifted again. Y/N had said she wasn’t feeling well, but could it be because she was spending time with Negan? Joel couldn’t even get angry at her, it wasn’t like they decided to be in an exclusive relationship. After all, this was their first date.
—
Earlier that day, Negan went back to his house that he shared with Lucille to get more of his clothes. He was staying at a hotel for almost three weeks now, both he and Lucille deciding to remain separated to determine if they really still wanted each other. Throughout the three weeks, Negan had consistently been talking to Y/N, even coming by for dinner a couple of nights. However, he had given her her space when she said she wasn’t feeling well. He didn’t want to bother her when she was sick, so Negan kept to himself.
He wanted to call Y/N and just talk to her, but decided against it. Negan needed to stop relying heavily on Y/N to make him feel good, to make him feel like he was enough and important. He had gotten so used to Lucille berating him that when Y/N gave him attention, he yearned for more of it.
As he was walking towards the bedroom, Negan noticed Lucille in the laundry room across the hall. She didn’t greet him, but instead just sent a nod in his direction to let him know that she acknowledged him. Negan sighed, stuffing more clothes into his duffle bag in anger. He glanced around the room and it made him sad to think that this was it. This was the end of their marriage. He knew he wasn’t the best husband, but he still did love Lucille. All he could think about as he looked around the room were the happy memories they shared early in their marriage and how they were so deep in love with each other.
Now, it felt like a very distant memory, almost like he had dreamt the good times they shared.
Negan was broken out of his reverie when he heard a thud coming from across the hall. Immediately, he dropped his bag to run out of the room to see what was happening. He saw Lucille on the floor and she wasn’t moving. Immediately, panic began to set in and he dropped to his knees next to her.
“Lucille?” He cradled her against him, gently shaking her awake. “Baby, wake up…”
No response.
“Lucille!”
No movement.
“Come on, baby… Lucille, wake up!” Negan immediately grabbed his phone and dialed 911. Lucille was still breathing which was a good sign, but she hadn’t woken up yet. He was frantically on the phone with the 911 operator, holding her close to him.
Five minutes passed until the ambulance came into their house, taking Lucille’s vitals and carrying her onto the stretcher. Negan followed them out of the house and into the back of the ambulance. He sat next to her, his mind solely focused on Lucille as the medic continued to ensure that she was still breathing while the other drove quickly to the hospital.
Hours passed and Negan hadn’t heard a word. He was sitting in the waiting room of the hospital, his foot tapping impatiently and nervously against the carpeted floor. He looked around, noticing other people waiting as his mind drifted to Lucille. He didn’t know why she had collapsed and why she didn’t wake up, but Negan held onto the hope that her heart was still beating.
She was still alive.
He was about to get up to get another cup of coffee when he noticed a doctor walk in his direction. Negan immediately stood up, looking down at the other man. The doctor didn’t look sympathetic, but he also didn’t look hopeful.
“Mr. Smith?”
“Yeah, that’s me. Lucille, my wife, is she–?”
“She’s resting, but she’s okay right now.”
Negan let out a relieved breath. “What happened?”
“We ran some tests,” the doctor continued. “And we found a mass.”
“A mass? What the fuck does that mean? Is she going to be okay?”
“Your wife has cancer, Mr. Smith… Stage three breast cancer.”
Negan immediately felt his world crashing down. Was this the universe’s way of punishing him? He looked at the doctor, tears filling his eyes.
“Is it treatable?”
“She will need surgery and chemotherapy and radiation. It’s not guaranteed but–”
“Does she know?” Negan asked.
The doctor nodded. “Yes.”
“Is that why it took you guys fucking hours to tell me what the hell was going on?” Negan was furious. He was upset. He was hurt.
“I can understand your frustration, Mr. Smith, but–”
“When can I see her?” He interrupted.
The doctor gave Negan the number to Lucille’s room. “We’ll be coming by later to discuss the next steps.”
Negan didn’t respond. Instead, he immediately began making his way to Lucille.
Once he entered the room, he noticed that she was asleep. Negan immediately sat next to her and took her hand in his, still noticing that her ring was missing. It didn’t matter anymore though. Negan didn’t care; he just wanted her to be okay and to get through this. He kissed the back of her hand, feeling her squeeze his hand.
“Hey, baby,” he whispered, seeing her eyes flutter open.
“Negan…”
“I’m right here.”
“I’m sorry.”
Negan sighed, “What for?”
“For everything.”
“Well, you’re not the only one at fault,” Negan replied. “We’ll get through this, baby. I promise.”
“I love you.” She said abruptly. Negan felt his heart leap at the words and he leaned up to peck her lips. Maybe this was what they both needed to find their way back to each other.
“I love you too. Get some rest, okay?”
“Will you be here when I wake up?”
Negan nodded, “I’m not going anywhere.”
It was nighttime by the time Negan stood from the chair he was sitting on. His bones were aching and his back was killing him, but Lucille was still sleeping, so he grabbed his phone and stepped out of the room for a moment. He searched for Y/N’s contact and hovered over the number. He knew he had to end things and so, he dialed her number.
Though, when Joel answered, Negan was taken by surprise.
—
“Joel, I don’t have time for this fucking shit. Stop asking questions and just have Y/N call me back.”
Joel tightened his jaw. “Y’know, I don’t think so.”
“I’m sorry, what?”
“Ya heard me, Negan.” Joel replied.
“She didn’t tell you, did she?” Negan tightened his jaw, becoming increasingly angry.
“Tell me what?”
“How we’ve been talking, hanging out…” Negan was now determined to get under the other man’s skin. All he wanted was to tell Y/N that he had some things he needed to handle and that he wasn’t going to be available as much. It was the decent thing to do rather than just completely ignore her entirely.
“You’re lying,” Joel replied. “You mean nothin’ to her.” Joel heard his laugh and he stood from the couch, feeling his anger bubble inside of him.
“I think that’s debatable,” Negan replied.
“You ain’t a good man, Negan. I know the likes of you and you ain’t good,” Joel commented.
“And what about you, Joel? You a good man?” Negan retaliated.
Joel tightened his jaw. He couldn’t answer that. He knew he had his fair share of disappointments and regrets, so instead of answering his question, Joel replied with, “Just leave her alone.”
“Oh-ho!” Negan replied. “You may think we’re different, Joel, but guess what? I think we’re the fucking same.”
“You don’t know me,” Joel said through gritted teeth.
“Joel?” He heard Y/N’s voice and looked over at her, still holding her phone against his ear. “Who’s that?”
Joel didn’t respond, but instead put it on speaker.
“Doll?” Negan called out, his voice filtering the living room.
Y/N cleared her throat. She looked over at Joel and noticed the look of hurt across his features. Immediately, she felt guilty and walked towards him, taking the phone from his hand. She didn’t say anything to him, but instead walked to her bedroom and removed the phone from the speaker.
“Negan, what are–”
“I just– I need to tell you something.”
“Are you okay?”
“We can’t keep doing this,” he admitted. “I just– I have some things I need to take care of and I can’t fully be there for you.”
“I don’t– Negan…” Surprisingly, Y/N felt her heart break a little at the thought of her life without Negan. She had gotten used to their daily conversations, his humor, and his presence.
“I gotta go, doll. Take care, okay?”
Y/N didn’t have time to respond before he hung up. She sighed, her mind drifting to Negan before a knock on her bedroom door pulled her out of her trance. Then, she remembered that Joel was still here. Once she opened the door, Joel looked down at her with a tightened jaw and narrowed eyes.
“Looks like we’ve got some things to talk about, darlin’.”
Y/N sighed, not looking directly at Joel. He took notice of this and sighed, pocketing his hands into his pants.
“Joel, I–”
“Is this not what you want?” He asked.
“No, it is! I just–”
He shook his head. He couldn’t believe that the moment he put himself out there, she wasn’t fully interested. Joel knew it was too good to be true. He was meant to be alone.
“Why are you still talkin’ to Negan?”
“He’s become a good friend.”
Joel scoffed. “A friend? You really think I’m that stupid?”
“Joel…”
“Stop lyin’ to me, darlin’, and just tell me the truth.”
“I don’t know what I want…” she admitted. “I’ve had a crush on you for so long, Joel… So long and you never noticed, at least not until you saw that Negan was interested in me, so why don’t you tell me why that is?”
Joel tightened his jaw. Just a moment ago, he was sharing an intimate moment with her and now they were upset with each other. He kept his eyes on her, thinking about what Negan said about him not being a good man. He was right. Y/N deserved better than him.
“Seeing you with Negan made me jealous,” Joel admitted. “And I wanted what he had… You.”
“But why Negan? Why did it take him for you to say anything?”
Joel didn’t have an answer for that. Maybe it was the fact that the other man was probably the same age as him, or maybe it was because Negan was right.
They both were similar after all.
“I don’t know, damn it!” He exclaimed, taking a deep breath and stepping back. “I don’t know.”
“If you never met Negan, would you have asked me out on a date?” Y/N asked hesitantly. “Would you have even made a move?”
Joel bit his lower lip. “I don’t know,” he repeated.
“Joel…”
“No, okay? I wouldn’t have asked you out” he lied. “But–”
Y/N felt her heart break even more. First Negan and now Joel.
“I think you should go…”
“Darlin’, wait…”
“Joel, I just want to be alone.”
Joel didn’t want to fight anymore. Instead, he nodded and walked towards the front door. He pulled on his boots and looked over his shoulder to see Y/N standing nearby. She looked like she was about ready to cry and Joel wanted nothing more than to just pull her into his arms and tell her the truth.
But he was scared.
He didn’t want to get hurt.
He didn’t want to tell her that Negan was the wakeup call he needed to realize just how deeply he felt for her.
Joel also didn’t want to admit to himself that he had fallen for her long before he even asked her out on a date.
“Darlin’...” he called out. “I’m sorry.”
---
Part 6.
Taglist (let me know if you want to be tagged!): @kaitebugg03, @a-girl-interupted, @igotbasicdrag, @darkshadow6200
#jeffrey dean morgan#jdm fanfiction#jeffrey dean morgan fanfiction#pedro pascal#pedro pascal fanfiction#joel miller fanfiction#joel miller fanfic#the last of us#tlou#tlou fanfiction#joel miller#joel miller au#the walking dead#TWD fandom#twd fanfiction#twd#the walking dead fanfiction#negan the walking dead#negan pre-apocalypse#joel miller pre-apocalypse#the last of us fanfiction#the walking dead crossover#tlou x twd#twd x tlou#the last of us crossover#story: one drunken night
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ahhhh you got me when i see the minchan… i’m here to request a seokmin and mingyu where they both start bulking to get shredded but get too distracted with how good the other looks bigger and instead focus on making each other big as opposed to losing the weight like intended
gosh, a plump gym bro is the way to my heart. i hope you enjoy! and thank you for the request.
ship: mingyu/seokmin
wordcount: .7k
seokmin and mingyu's new years resolution was to get ripped. they were both already quite toned, the beginnings of biceps and abs already there, but they wanted to get undeniably shredded.
"I think we should do bulking and shredding," Mingyu says on the second of January. "It's where you start by lifting weights and gaining muscle, but also eating a lot. And then after a month or so, you cut down how much you eat so when you lose the weight, you're just left with the muscles."
"Oh," Seokmin says. "That actually sounds quite easy. And I love to eat, so I'm in."
They start immediately. Mingyu stocks up on healthy things like protein powder and vegetables so they have energy to burn at the gym, but also buys fattening things like ice cream and cakes and chocolates.
"If we're going to put on weight, we're going to do it in a fun way," he says.
The diet is successful, and Mingyu and Seokmin enjoy eating as much as they want without any shame. When they go to bed packed full and bloated, they say that it's more energy to use at the gym the next day. And they like that they can do this together. Going to the gym, cooking and eating together gives them more time to spend as a couple.
Their gym goals go well too. Both of them gain muscle in their arms, shoulders and legs, and the amount of weight they are able to lift gets higher and higher.
After just one month, Seokmin can see the added definition in Mingyu's arms. And he can also see the little pot belly that Mingyu has developed. Mingyu has an affinity for wearing tight tank tops, so it's always on display. Seokmin thinks it's so sexy.
Seokmin, on the other hand, is softer. He's also gained muscle, but he's also gained a soft layer of fat on top of it. Mingyu cuddles him a lot more these days; he wonders if it's connected.
Seokmin likes seeing Mingyu eat so well. He always looks so happy after a meal and the way he strokes his fully belly makes Seokmin crazy.
So, naturally, Seokmin decides to help him out.
He makes him heavy milkshakes for dessert every night, not mentioning that he's making them with heavy cream instead of regular milk. And when he serves Mingyu a plate of food, he piles it higher than usual, knowing that Mingyu will eat it all.
They both pack on the pounds quickly, Seokmin not realising that Mingyu is doing the exact same thing to him. He brings home baking from work almost every day for Seokmin to eat, and insists on Seokmin going to a local burger place after almost every gym session.
After another month of this, Mingyu brings up the idea of cutting.
"Do you think we should start cutting now?" he asks as they wash their faces in the bathroom sink before bed.
"It's going to be hard, after getting used to eating so much," Seokmin says.
"It will be." Mingyu sighs. "I like eating like this."
"Me too," Seokmin says. "And you look really good already." He reaches out his hands to trail along the distended slope of Mingyu's belly, which almost looks like a small beach ball now. He admires Mingyu, who's big in multiple ways. Big arms, big chest, big belly. Mingyu shivers under his touch.
"You look amazing too," Mingyu says. He takes one of Seokmin's developing love handles in his hand and shakes it, watching as his belly shakes as well.
Seokmin steps closer so their bellies are pressed against each other. "What if we stay like this then? We're both happy, and we look hot."
"We can get bigger." Mingyu's eyes raking over Seokmin. "I'm liking these," he says while taking on of Seokmin's developing moobs into his hand, brushing his thumb over the nipple. "Wanna see them grow."
Fuck. Seokmin is so turned on.
"I'm in."
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can you wrjite a namjoon sickfic, entirely from the third person perspective, where he had the stomach flu and it starts when he's in the car with jin and suddenly vomits, jin has to help him walk back to the dorms and take care of him, he has a fever and is weak
Grocery Trip Gone Wrong
"Guys calm down, Yoongi and Hobi have gone out for the day and I don't need the three of you to burn down the dorm, while I'm out." Jin says to the maknaes.
"Where are you going hyung?" Jungkook asks as the three of them calm down.
"Aish, if you were not busy trying to beat each other, you would've heard me say that me and Namjoon are going to go grocery shopping. So please don't do anything stupid." Jin says
"Oh, don't worry hyung we're adults we'll be fine." Jimin replies, while Jungkook and Tae are play fighting in the background.
"Ya, sure let's go with that." Jin says
"Just take care of yourself, We'll be back in a couple of hours." Jin says before shouting
"Namjoon let's get going."
"I'm coming, hyung." Namjoon says while going to where everyone is.
Namjoon had woken up feeling a little queasy today, but since it was their day off he thought resting for a couple of hours will be good enough to make him feel better. But it was already close to being evening and he did not feel better at all. In fact, it seemed like he was getting worse but he had promised Jin that he was going to go with him to get grocery. So he was going to have to go out even though he wanted to rest. But he couldn’t leave Jin hanging so he just convinced himself that the fresh air would help him feel better.
“Hey Hyung, im ready to go.” Namjoon says when he reaches Jin.
“Ok let’s go, we’re leaving guys.” Jin says to the maknaes as they leave the apartment. The maknaes bid them goodbye and Jin and Namjoon go in the car and go to the grocery store.
The car ride was making Namjoon feel weird in his stomach. But it wasn't so bad that he had to throw up. Soon enough, they reached the store and they started to go in. Getting out of the car did help calm his stomach down a bit he was still feeling kinda nauseous. Jin noticed the discomfort on his face.
“Joonie, are u feeling ok? You look a little pale.” Jin says
“Ya hyung, I’m fine don’t worry.” Namjoon replies and Jin nods a little and they continue shopping. The rest of the shopping goes fine. They get all the stuff and get it billed and go into the car to go back home.
Namjoon was still not feeling well, he just wanted to go home and go to sleep before his stomach decided it needed to empty itself.
The car starts and they start going home. But this time Namjoon’s stomach does not show him mercy and he knows he’s going to throw up. He tries holding it in but he’s can’t.
“Hyung stop the car.” Namjoon says
“What?” Jin asks confused.
“Stop the car” Namjoon insists again.
Seeing the panic on Namjoon’s face Jin quickly goes to the side of the road and stops the car. Namjoon rushes out and goes near a tree before starting to throw up. Jin comes after him and starts rubbing his back while saying reassuring things to him. Soon enough Namjoon finishes and Jin gives him some water.
“You feeling better?” Jin asks.
“Ya a bit.” Namjoon says, his stomach has calmed down a bit but by the way he is bloated he knows he’s gonna throw up again.
Jin nods and puts his hands on Namjoon’s forehead.
“Joonie, you have a fever. How long have you been feeling sick.”
"Since, I woke up." Namjoon says leaning into his touch.
"Damn it, Joon-ah you should have told me." Jin adds on frustrated with himself that he didn't notice Namjoon's discomfort.
"I'm sorry." Namjoon says in a small voice.
"Why don't we wait for a while, till your stomach calms down a bit and then we can go back home." Jin asks.
Namjoon nods and let's Jin take him away to a nearby bench. It is very noticeable that he Namjoon has no energy left. He is completely leaning onto Jin the entire time. The two of them are wearing masks so that they don't get recognized but they still can't stay out too long.
After some time they decide to go home, when Namjoon's stomach feels a better so he knows he's not gonna throw in the car again. After reaching home, Jin helps Namjoon out of the car and takes him inside. Namjoon is leaning on Jin and is to weak to be able to carry his own weight.
"We're back guys." Jin says entering the house.
The maknaes greet them back and when they see Namjoon leaning on Jin they rush over.
"Joonie hyung are you okay, what happened?" Taehyung asks, worried.
"I'm okay, just a little sick." Namjoon answers back not wanting to worry them.
"Sick, why what happened." Jimin asks the panic evident in his voice.
"He's going to be fine, he just needs some rest. I am going to take him to his room, why don't you guys make him some soup." Jin answers.
The maknaes agree and go to the kitchen to start working.
Jin takes Namjoon to his room and helps him lie down on the bed. Then he goes to pull over a trash can and puts it next to his bed and also gets some water for him.
"Thanks hyung." Namjoon says
"Don't worry about it." Jin says sitting next to him and running his hand through his hair.
"After you drink the soup, I'll give you some medicine for your fever." Jin says
Namjoon nods and says "Thanks hyung, sorry I troubled you."
"You didn't trouble me, I like taking care of you kids. But next time just tell me you're sick, instead of almost throwing up in my car." Jin says
"Hey, I'm not a kid. And I should have told you, I'm sorry." Namjoon adds on.
"It's fine, I am gonna check on the maknaes, get some rest." Jin says while starting to go out of the room.
Namjoon nods and settle in, glad that he has his family to take care of him.
************************************************************************
Hi, I hope you enjoyed the fic. Sorry anon for taking so long to write it. Sorry it's so short.
#bts#bts rm#sick!namjoon#sickfic#sicknamjoon#bts jimin#bts jin#bts jungkook#bts taehyung#emeto#bts fanfic#bangtan#bangtan sonyeondan#namjoon#bts namjoon#namjoon centric
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It was a pragmatic cigarette
new chapter, who dis
When - right after White lies. Note that a slight deviation in canon was made in that I figured it was logical for everybody to take a break to mourn on the day of Otis’ funeral. That allllll that plot was supposed to happen in one day was a little much, so I gave them the day off, y’all.
Episode - S02E04 Cherokee Rose
Relationships - Daryl x reader is becoming a chill friendship. Slow burn ftw. No, really, there’s a cigarette involved, it burns slowly. He and you end up lighting up together. As for ‘you and the gang!,’ we’ve got Papa Dale and big bro Shane.
Perspective - 2nd person until Daryl takes over. You finish up the chapter when he’s done.
Genre - trail mix
Pronouns - used they/them when called for
TWs - some language including the f-bomb, smoking, and you notice some warning signs of Beth’s suicidal thoughts.
Word count - your average chapter
Referenced stories/plot points - many! Too many. Only one way to fix that problem: take the plunge, slowpoke.
Coughing, on a giant boulder, in the dark, with egg on your clothes. It’s exactly how you pictured the day ending.
While holding a cigarette, no less.
...What a day.
________________________________
You’d carefully scooted out of your tent when you woke up and your brother wasn’t there. Didn’t look like much time has passed in terms of the sunlight. Where did everybody...oh, good, at least Carol was still there.
“Carol?”
She turned her head, a cigarette in hand. She’s not a smoker, so you didn’t say anything about it. She must’ve been at the point of needing something stronger for comfort.
“How long've I been in there?”
With a polite, sheepish kind of smile, she told you “I didn’t know you were still here, to be honest,” and moved to extinguish the cigarette.
“Oh, you don’t have to put it out, you’re good,” you said before asking, “D’you, um, know where Shane is? He wouldn’t have left without you.”
“I know there’s was some kind of something going on with a well, I’m not sure what.”
“A well?” you asked, yawning. You were still foggy from the unintended nap, as short as it seemed to have been. And foggy from the past couple days. And from that memorial service this morning, ugh.
She pointed. “In the pasture out that way.”
“Alright.” You started on your way, then froze before checking a little too quickly, “Any word from Daryl?”
Her lips clamped shut. Then she turned her head and took a long drag.
That was dumb of you to ask when he’d left so recently, especially given how hopeless Carol must've been feeling.
“I suppose we should give the man time to get off his bike in the first place,” you commented in an attempt to make light. It came out very awkward.
So, still groggy and somewhat disoriented, you headed off to the pasture to see what was going on with the well.
You simply wanted to check on your brother before you went back inside the house to help monitor Carl.
__________________________________
Why was it always you who was throwing up? It’s not like you could help it, that bloated, nasty, alien-ass walker they pulled out of the well had genuinely split into two!
And this was of course after you’d more or less blown up at Shane and just about everybody else there who’d gone along with the plan to fish for that walker trapped down the well by using Glenn as bait.
Good Moses, what a day it was turning out to be. You don’t drink or smoke. Hell, you don’t do anything. But you found yourself daydreaming about chugging a beer and having a cigarette or maybe even a joint. Where all your hope and optimism from an hour ago scampered off to, you didn’t know.
You’d arrived at the well just as they were hauling poor Glenn out after something happened to make the rope slip.
When it was all over and Glenn was blessedly unscathed, your terror and panic quickly transformed into rage at everyone there, Dale, T-Dog, Lori, Andrea, Shane, even Maggie.
Andrea was the first to hold up her hand and defend their decision, outspoken about the fact that “Live bait was needed. We were being pragmatic.”
Cue you to have fumed back, “‘Pragmatic?’ Why didn’t you go down, then? Glenn’s got at least 20 pounds on you!”
She maintained a confident facade and Shane was supportive of her. He would be, he was used to making hard calls. At least he looked scared shitless when Glenn almost got gnawed. Lori, T-Dog, and Dale looked ashamed as could be, to their credit. As for poor Maggie caught in the middle, she’d turned as white as a sheet and firmly stated that she had nothing to do with it.
And damn your mouth, as you’d angrily tried to figure out from them why they would have thought a plan like that was “In the least bit ‘pragmatic?’ No other workarounds than riskin’ his neck?” you’d even inadvertently insulted Glenn when it was brought up that he ‘agreed’ to be bait when you spit back that “That’s only because he’s too good-natured and eager to please, you goddamned ingrates!”
Yeah. You very much need to work on controlling your temper and tongue. And who the hell uses the word “ingrates?”
Mercifully, everything was apologized for and forgiven on all sides when it was discovered that Glenn actually got the rope around the walker in the well.
All was going well (pun not intended, it’s been a rough day!) until the poor, bloated bastard’s legs and pelvis ripped off and flopped back into the water supply. It got worse when a frustrated and 100% done T-Dog bashed his head in, to Margaret’s horror.
Annnnnd then you got sick.
A weak stomach and a hot head, that’s you.
_______________________________
It was decided that everything that was planned for the day, other than checking the highway for Sophia, would be postponed for tomorrow.
The pharmacy run could wait, the thing that required doing was boarding up the tainted well and helping out with chores around the farm that were pushed aside after the events of yesterday and this morning.
During the panic to get Glenn out of the well alive and unbitten, T-Dog overused his arm and your brother overused his ankle. As a result, T-Dog started bleeding again and Shane was limping even worse.
It was good that after chores and checking the highway, the group would rest. They needed it.
The one chore (other than monitoring Carl) that was deemed doable for you with your stitches and sling was: gathering eggs. You also found the almost-empty container of chicken scratch and took the liberty of tossing a few handfuls, then emptied the vermin traps you noticed nearby to feel more useful.
“Dr. Greene, do you have more rodent traps or should I add them to the list?”
“You don’t need to refer to me as ‘doctor.’ And yes, I have more traps in the storage bin in the cellar.”
“Of course, which is the door to the cella — ”
“ —Do not go down there, leave it be. This is not your home.”
That response caught you off-guard. You hadn’t intended to overstep, only to help.
The doctor—apologies, ‘Mr. Greene’—tried to soften his words by adding an almost-begrudging, “Thank you,” so you did you best to wait until exiting the room before you let a few tears spill out.
A smoke or a beer was looking pretty good right about then.
___________________________________
Lori kept Carl distracted with one of Jimmy’s comic books so effectively that he didn’t have a chance to ask about Sophia.
Then Beth entered the room with that homemade chocolate pudding she’d promised, and you assured Carl before he could say anything that some would be put aside for Sophia (which wasn’t a lie, you would). This seemed satisfactory, and soon he was passing out from the most recent dose of pain meds. Mischief managed as far as you were concerned.
“Have you heard anything about the little girl?” Beth whispered to you in the hallway after.
“There’s a guy in our group who’s a good hunter, he’s out looking for her along the creek again. Then, um, my brother is gonna go with her mama to check the mini shelter we made for her at the highway we got stuck on.”
“How long has she been missin’?”
“Been about 48 hours,” you hushed.
She chewed her bottom lip and kept walking next to you on your way to the front door. “The little girl went missing one day, then the little boy got shot the next?”
You weren’t sure where to look as you nodded and took a deep breath.
And you were content to remain silent until she suddenly uttered in a small voice that “There ain’t much point to it all, is there? Why keep on goin’ if it’s just gonna be more awful things and...”
You frowned. Those things are not a good thing to hear from anyone, never mind somebody younger who may be prone to more impulsive actions. That’s a very bad thing to hear, in fact. You'd talk with Maggie about this.
Beth noticed your frown and seemed to grow defensive. “I’m just bein’ realistic, or, or pragmatic.”
Keeping your voice down, you looked her in the eyes and tried to use the right words when you said, “It’s good to see clearly a bad situation for what it is, so long as it—so long as it ain’t only the bad parts we see. Losing all hope is neither pragmatic nor realistic.”
“What, you don’t think it’s just a matter of time ’til all of us get sick or bit or killed?”
“No.”
She kept her chin up, but eyes averted. Appeared almost angry as she stated, “False hope is cruel.”
Granted, you’ve known her only a day, but that mood shift was very different from how Beth’s been. Maybe those dark thoughts had been lurking a while, and the way things turned on a dime yesterday was the straw that broke the camel’s back?
You’re just grateful she was saying something to somebody that made it fairly clear she was in a bad place.
“There’s always hope of some kind, honey, it ain’t false.” Such a painfully lame answer, but what else could you say other than the truth? “Beth, please don’t roll your eyes, it’s just—”
“—I ain’t a child.”
“I wouldn’t think less of you if you were. Which is why I know you can think about it from, from my perspective: when life felt hopeless and not worth it anymore, we were given people like your family who put everythin’ on hold and on the line to save a child they didn’t know.” With a one-sided shrug and a one-sided smile, you softly pointed out, “And who make chocolate pudding from scratch for them.”
___________________________________
Shane, Andrea, T-Dog, and Carol came back from the highway empty-handed. No Sophia.
Carol quickly saw herself to her tent without so much as a glance at anyone, save for Dale, to whom she’d given the yellow walkie.
“Did Daryl tell us anything while I was gone?” you heard her plead quietly.
He didn’t seem to be able to stand as tall when he shook his head. “No word yet.”
______________________________________
You caught Maggie’s attention when she walked with Glenn back from his riding lesson for tomorrow’s run, a slowly trotting horse on a lead behind them.
“Dude, Y/N. Riding a horse decimates your thighs, I had no idea. Never mind other parts,” he added under his breath.
Grateful for a laugh, you cracked up with him before calling, “Hey, um, Maggie, may I check somethin’ with you real quick?”
Glenn took the lead and started walking at a faster pace alongside the horse toward the stable so you could speak privately to her. He tried, anyway. His thighs must have felt like jelly, based on his slight waddle.
After you told her of your worry regarding her little sister, she thanked you softly and continued on her way, so you went on yours.
____________________________________
Back at the tents, Mr. Greene gave his permission for a fire so the group could cook.
Lori, Andrea, and you helped Carol make the inside of their tent nice and homey for Sophia. No word from Daryl had come through, and it was getting late and overcast...hey, was that Beth?
You walked over to meet her as she nervously hovered near the group’s camp area. She was carrying a doll, a stuffed animal, and a large bowl filled with eggs.
“Here. For if the little girl comes back. These were mine when I was little. She can have—I’d like her to have ’em.” With a nod down at what she was holding, she then cleared her throat to shyly correct, “Well, not the eggs, those are for y’all.”
“Would you like to give them to Carol? That’s the missing girl’s mother, she’s the woman with the short hair. Or,” seeing her uncomfortable expression, you gently offered, “I can tell her you gave them.”
“Just, um, let her know there’s a tiny container of pudding in the fridge for her daughter, too? It ain’t giving false hope to let her know...”
“I can do that.”
She nodded, eyes downcast as she fiddled with her various leather and twine bracelets. “And, um, what’s the little girl’s name again, Y/N?”
“Sophia.”
____________________________________
The sounds of the motorcycle should have filled you with hope, but you didn’t even bother looking over for fear of confirmation that Sophia wasn’t with him.
Sure enough, she wasn’t. What did that say about you? Was that you being defeatist or pragmatic? And so soon after being so stubbornly hopeful, and 100% convinced that she would come back?
Would a cigarette or beer help?
Not really, but you sure as hell still wanted one of the two. You’re overtired.
Whatever.
You pressed your hand onto your stitches and jogged over to Daryl. The way he was looking very intently at the campsite before he’d even gotten his kickstand down meant he was hoping Sophia had been found at the highway.
You noticed Rick and Lori push aside the curtains of Carl’s room. Saw them look for a moment before letting the curtain fall back.
It was as if you could physically feel the unspoken resignation in the group’s silence, the way they averted their eyes or looked down at the ground.
Carol went walking off. Shane followed.
You kept walking towards Daryl, who looked...let’s just say you figured you might could’ve been about to get snapped at.
“What leads did you find?” you decided to phrase it, daring to give into hope or to at least fake it until you could make it.
He froze for a second. Stared at you hard again, like he had before he left. Then he straightened his posture. “Abandoned house had an empty can in the trash bin. Fresh. And there was a blanket and pillow set up in the cupboard. Still had a shit ton of food in there, too, I brought some back.”
“We’ll head out at first light, then?”
“Will ya?” A glance at your sling as he lit up a cigarette.
“Check this out.” Pulling it off, you lifted your arm up forwards, then to the side, twisting your neck, too. It really hurt. “I can do all that.”
“And the stitches?” he grunted.
“Won’t fall out, they’re sewn in.”
You didn’t expect a scoff in return at that point. “C’mon, take this serious, Y/N.” Then he turned to the saddle bag, tossed his barely smoked cigarette on the gravel, and grabbed several canned goods and a box of something from inside it before marching off to the tents without another word.
“I was serious!” you shouted after him. Asshole. And strangely, at that moment, you had the most what-the-fuck notion to pick up that cigarette off the ground, light it yourself, and see if it would calm you down.
________________________________________
“I understand.”
“We gotta be realistic about this.”
“I said I understand, Shane. We’ll keep hope but not be naïve about it.”
You two were back in your little tent discussing the search party that would be formed tomorrow, and then about (you) handling the fact that Sophia possibly won’t be found.
At least Shane was elevating his ankle, finally. The others were talking around the fire, but you still maintained lower speaking voices for privacy’s sake.
“I know shuttin’ emotions off can be difficult, for anybody,” he went on.
Your eyebrows rose as you met his stern gaze.
“Y/N, I want to stress that you gotta learn to shut that switch off when it comes down to it. Shut off the anger, the rage, the fear, the sympathy, even the doubt. When that man shot Rick, nearly killed him? I shut that shit down, aimed, and fired until I knew he wasn’t a threat to no one else, not ’til I knew that the others with me would get home that night to their families.”
“You d-did what you had to. But you still felt remorse, Shane, you called mama about it.” You were in the room when your mom picked up the phone and got the news about Rick.
“It—it wasn’t easy, don’t get me wrong. Never will be, you know it. Taking a man’s life ain’t no small thing, no matter their value.”
Gently, you requested, “Please don’t say things like ‘value.’ All life is precious.” Might as well quote your mother while she was on your and Shane’s mind.
He stared at the ceiling for a few moments. “I did what the situation called for.” His head turned to look at you. “I shut that switch off because I needed to. Made sure the one decidin’ who lived or died was me, because people were dependent on me. Moments like that require pragmatism.”
You closed your eyes. “We lose our humanity when we shut that switch off completely.”
“But we live to see another day, and keep the people who rely on us alive.”
“We’re still alive and ain’t abandoned our souls yet. When you talked about being ‘pragmatic,’ before, that don’t need to mean we chuck out morals or sympathy and things.”
“Sometimes you do gotta chuck them out for a while and pick them up after. I guess what I’m trying’ to say—” he paused. You saw him press his thumb and forefinger against the bridge of his nose. “I ain’t talking about what happened with Ed, we’ve been over that. I’m talkin’ about the...” he trailed off.
“Shane?”
He was more delicate than you thought he’d be when he asked, “Do you still count them? The walkers?”
“Sort of.” Twenty-seven was your current estimate. Killing them turned...routine faster than you’d like to admit. But you still tried (are trying) in your mind to not fully scrub away what was once their dignity as a person. “I-I ain’t been too sure since the night the camp got overrun.”
“Still no memories?”
With a deep inhale and a slow exhale, you shook your head. Other than bits and pieces, you can’t recall anything other than the parts surrounding Amy.
“Times like that are what I’m talkin’ about. When the adrenaline flows.”
“It’s strange how time gets slow and fast at the same time when that happens,” you’d mumbled.
“That’s why the switch is so important. Like when you had to ki—”
“—Shane, don’t bring him up!” you’d whispered. Your stomach dropped, pulse quickened, and you tried to push that memory back down.
Regret and shame trickled over you, and you sent up some sort of half-baked idea of prayer for whoever that guy was and whoever his family was/is, if he’d had any left. You and Shane had an idea of who he was, but nothing concrete.
Shane kept trying to get you to see that knowing wouldn’t change anything. And, over and over, to remind you that it was done in defense.
“I’m sorry.”
You could tell by the way he said it that he would continue, but to your relief, your brother stayed quiet for a time with you, kneading your bad shoulder with his knuckles.
“When that happened, you turned the switch off, and I’m alive because of it. We’re both alive for it,” he’d continued slowly. “Saving me and saving yourself now means Lori and Carl and others are still alive, too.”
“Shaney, where are you headin’ with all this? Where’s it coming from?”
“Ain’t it obvious? I’m concerned your emotions or guilt or conscience is fixing to get the better of you someday, drag you down, paralyze you. Send you ‘postal.’ Like having too much false hope in findin...” he trailed off again. “That’s why I’m trying to get you to see what I’m saying. I want you safe.”
“I know you do, and I see what you mean, I do. I’m just...” ‘Scared’ wasn’t the right word... “Dreading that broken conscience or loss of the ability to hope. It’s gonna get the better of us all some day if we ain’t wise. It’s, it’s already started to, man.”
His frustration was apparent, but he was relenting. “The world’s changed. What’s wise is to learn to work that switch.”
And so you both sat on your differing opinions. Too much gray, much too much gray. You didn’t like that.
You weren’t sure why you next muttered, “You didn’t turn no switch off when you were with Otis,” nor were you sure why it sounded like a question rather than a statement.
You trust your brother, you love him, and you’d been over this in your head that he was lying about parts of what happened simply for the sake of Otis’ loved ones.
His body tensed up. You were beside him, but you could tell even from there. And his voice came out rough and strained and higher than usual. “I don’t—w-what happened with him was different.”
You weren’t sure what to make of that.
Steeling your nerves, you offered, “Would you like me to listen?”
He pulled his hand over his face and rubbed his shaved head a few times. Kept his eyes closed.
Whatever was being left unspoken, you’d leave for now unless Shane said more. An ominous sense of foreboding unease and helplessness settled on your chest. “Shane, do you feel like yourself?”
Barely a whisper came back. “I don’t know.”
Nothing more was said. Snippets of conversation from the group outside by the fire could be sort of be heard, but not made out. You wiggled closer to your brother so that your arms touched. Continued to lay there in silence.
You ignored the pain as you sat up. You reached under your pillow for the mp3 player and placed it on his belly.
“I don’t think anyone checked the mailbox today. I’m gonna go do that, maybe they get DVD-by-mail,” was your delicate attempt to add some humor as you unzipped the flap and crawled one-armed out of the tent.
“Just,” he murmured, lifting the corners of his mouth. “Don’t forget bug spray, weirdo.”
“Have fun not usin’ your ankle, loser. Please keep it elevated for a good while longer, okay? And I’ll massage your lower calf when I get back, it’ll help.”
____________________________________
Yeah, you immediately caught Dale’s eyes and beelined straight for the top of the RV. He was just about to come down, by the looks of it, but he graciously turned around and sat by the edge instead.
Going one-handed up a ladder was a unique experience.
“Spill, kiddo.”
“What’s ‘pragmatism’ again? That word’s been tossed around all day,” you wondered, legs dangling off the side. “I know what it means, but I-I don’t really know what it means. It’s different from ‘realistic’ or a synonym?”
“They, um, the words are similar, certainly, and intertwined. I actually read a very illuminating—” he stopped to chuckle. “Yet very dull article regarding the two some years ago. ‘Realism’ is seeing things how they truly are, though it often incorporates subjective, mm, and usually a pessimistic or otherwise negative air to it,” he explained. “‘Pragmatism’ is being practical and matter-of-fact about a situation, but often falls prey to a worldview that may lack compassion, sympathy, or even morality.”
“What about ‘hope?’ Might would you consider it an antonym?”
“Well, ‘hope’ is simply...I suppose we can say ‘an optimistic desire for something,’ even despite our ideas of what’s realistic or pragmatic. So, no, I wouldn’t consider them opposed.”
You nodded. “Okay.”
“You know, kiddo, us ending up here, as nightmarish as the circumstances were, it’s...” He sighed. “Quite frankly, the silver lining is that, for Sophia, it’s enabling us to act with more hope, in my opinion. The needs-of-the-many versus the needs-of-the-few discussion is being kept at bay because we’re going to be here a while yet.”
He’d pretended the RV was still broken down for Sophia’s sake. Fixed, of course, when it came time to drive to the Greene’s farm. You love him a whole lot.
“You still got hope for her, Mr. Horvath?”
Dale was slow to reply, which was something of an answer in itself. Elbows on his knees, he conceded that “For Carol’s sake, I wish I could confidently answer in the affirmative.”
Again, you nodded. No tears came up, all you felt was that empty sense of defeat and restlessness. And the desire for some kind of something to take the edge off.
“But as T-Dog was telling me earlier,” Dale went on. “If there’s a snowball’s chance in hell of finding her, we’re betting on the snowball.” As he chuckled, he relayed “He said he’d comb through the woods like Rambo if he had to.”
For some reason, him admitting to his quiet hope and T-Dog’s gung-ho attitude caused you to peer inward and find yours lacking.
It felt like shit. You felt like shit. From doubting your brother’s integrity to blowing up at the group, now you were rapidly losing hope for that little girl barely three hours after telling Beth there’s always hope? After Daryl had hugged you because you were so thoroughly convinced...
And then Shane had brought up that man.
Fuck, now you’re thinking about him again.
“Dale, do you have any liquor?”
He was surprised. You don’t blame him. That sort of thing wasn’t (isn’t) on-brand for you.
“I understand the appeal. It’s crossed my mind a few times, to be honest, and yes, I do have a bottle of scotch. But that mightn’t be the most...” He smiled, then gave you a look. “Pragmatic move, at this point. If only because we want to respect the Greenes, especially now.”
_________________________________
Still restless after dinner, you found yourself wandering around the farm as far as you could go without feeling creepy about traipsing over somebody else’s property in the dark.
You saw Lori was sitting with Patricia and Jimmy by Otis’ memorial cairn, and your restlessness grew.
“The smell from the eggs is a little much,” she’d mentioned by the fire when she stood up to excuse herself.
“Then don’t let Y/N get too close,” Glenn had snorted back in reference to your clothes.
Turns out the group had made the eggs soft-boiled. You’d thought they were hard-boiled. Got a yolk stain on the borrowed sweatpants and white t-shirt you were still wearing from yesterday. Seemed fitting, you supposed.
Anyway, a little while later is when you told your friend you were off for a walk to clear your head.
Your head didn’t end up clearing so much, but at least the skies did. It became a very pretty night. Every non-cloudy night was pretty nowadays; no light pollution.
Tried to get that man out of your head by praying for him more and whatever. He stayed put in your mind.
Crickets chirped.
Frogs croaked.
You listened to the soft rustle of grass as you stepped. Rubbed your aching shoulder best you could.
The farm smelled like hay and manure and wood smoke, not in a bad way. Then a breeze started blowing, and the scent of (speak of the devil) cigarettes joined in. You looked around to see from where...
“T-Dog?”
He was walking in the direction of the campsite, carefully massaging the back of his injured arm as he did.
“Hey there.” His smile was just as sheepish as Carol’s had been, only his was more free.
“I thought I smelled cigarettes when I hugged you last night.” You used your good arm to give a quick wave to Daryl sitting on top of a boulder a few yards behind T-Dog. They must’ve been smoking together? “Never realized you smoked, Teddy.”
“I don’t no more, but sometimes a good drag hits the spot. I usually prefer cigars, but,” he shrugged, “I found a pack the other day, then found myself lightin’ up almost as fast. Rough few days.” In your ear, he mentioned before he continued walking back, “Make sure that man don’t fall asleep up there, he’s been nodding off.”
Off he went, and you looked back at Daryl up on the boulder. “Comfy?”
“Not really.”
Okay. “You cool with company, man?”
Eyeing his cigarette, he grunted, “It’s up to you.”
“You can say ‘no,’ you know,” you reminded him with a tacked-on smile, then turned away, content to imagine that he was trying to be polite.
“Wait, just—hold up.”
You turned back around. He took a long inhale. Then let out a slow exhale through his nose, as the thick gray smoke coming out of his nostrils told you.
Then, he waved his hand and appeared to extinguish the cigarette with the other. “Come on, then.”
You climbed up as fast (and gracefully?) as you could with one arm. It was a pride thing. And hopefully he bought it as you sat down a ways beside him and stared down at the drop.
“Almost ready to crash, Daryl? You been out all day.”
All he did was hum in response. “How’s the boy?”
“Vitals good, slept most of the day, Lori kept him distracted otherwise.”
You thought you heard him mutter “Good.” He played with the stub of his cigarette. “How about Carol?” he asked in a softer tone of voice.
“She ain’t got much hope left.” And either you were overtired or too focused on that man, or you’d ventured too far from the balance of hope vs pragmatism, because at that moment, you felt as if your hope was just about gone, too. “Please let’s head out at first light?”
___________________________________
Daryl
Y/N looked as if they’d given up. They were usually all optimistic and shit.
“You ain’t goin’ with Glenn and the short-haired chick on that supply run? They’re after medical shit, that’s more than right up your alley.”
“Nah, Glenn has a crush on her. I’d tease him about it too much if I went.”
Okay, then. He wasn’t sure why he felt good about that sentence, but it’s been a rough few days and he was tired as fuck-all.
“Would Shane rip me a new one if ya came with me, stitches and all?” he decided to ask, mainly as a joke.
“Eh, with his ankle, you could outrun him easy,” Y/N tossed back dryly.
Okay, that was funny.
“Hey, um, m-may I have a little of that?” they asked.
But what were they looking at? Not his... his cigarette?
“You don’t smoke.”
“Rough few days, might as well see what all the fuss is about.”
That’s...different for Y/N. Pretty sure they said they ain’t gotten full-on drunk before, neither. Prolly never tried grass, neither.
Still, he took his lighter back out and re-lit the end. He felt like he was doing something wrong, though.
“You smoked ever?”
“Nah.”
“Weed?”
They made a little face. “I got sad about all that bloody and racist stuff to do with it. Plus, it smells so dang nasty. Anyways,” they added, shaking their head like people do when they realize they’ve shared too much and need to cover it up with a joke. “I’m weird enough as it is, imagine what I’d be like high.”
They did that a lot, made little teasing digs at themselves.
Unsure if he should be doing so, he handed over the cigarette.
It was kinda cute to watch as they first held it between their pointer and middle finger, then thumb and pointer, then back to pointer and middle.
“It’s gonna burn out at this rate.”
“You’re gonna burn out,” they huffed back, which made him smile. On the inside.
Then they finally put it to their lips and…
...they okay?
“You ain’t just holdin’ the smoke in your mouth, are you?”
Cue them to open their mouth and start coughing. “I thought you weren’t supposed to inhale!”
Don’t laugh, don’t laugh. “That’s cigars and pipes, Y/N.” Hey. Dixon. I said don’t laugh.
“Oh, Moses, here I was tryin’ to look like I knew what I was doing.” They winced and held their side where the stitches were as they coughed. “Okay, okay, gimme a sec, I got this—oh, hushabye with your laughing, mangy hick.”
“Maybe you shouldn’t—”
—Never mind, there they went again. Another timid, shallow inhale, then a slow exhale, complete with a suppressed cough and confused look on their face.
He did his best to not crack up more. “Good?”
They handed the cigarette back to him. Voice flat, they wondered, “Depends, when does the good feeling start?”
“Dunno. S’different for everybody, I guess.” He put it back between his lips and took a proper drag.
Y/N looked over at him briefly. “Guess now we got each other’s cooties.”
Them and their dumb jokes. “You smell like bug spray.”
“Better than egg, I reckon. May I have some more cooties, please?” they asked, voice still flat. “Unless you got nippers anywhere you feel cool with sharing?”
Now they want to drink? Yeah, nah, all this is a little too out of character. “You okay?”
“Of course, got no bites.”
“M’serious,” he answered back a little too rough. He didn’t mean to do that, force of habit.
Shit, now they were frowning and their voice got a little too quiet. “I was trying to be positive.” They stared down at the ground. “A smoke or a beer ain’t all that extreme, I just wanted to take the edge off.”
“Going postal?”
“M’good.”
“Then why do you wanna take the edge off?”
“Why is it so shocking I want a nipper or to try a cigarette?”
He tamped down on his annoyance. Y/N was his friend, after all, and he knew that they downplayed shit like they got paid for it. But why couldn’t people just be upfront, it’s so much damned simpler.
“You’re that close to white lying, you get that, yeah?” He reached over to get the cigarette from their hand, took another drag, then gave it back.
“Avoiding an answer ain’t a lie, it’s a loophole.” That was them trying to make a joke again.
He didn’t reply.
But just like that, he found himself cracking up again when after Y/N took another attempt at a drag, shivered, coughed, and handed back the almost-finished cigarette while muttering under their breath, “Ick, tastes like stale, plastic, death-dirt.”
“Give it here, troublemaker.”
“I ain’t no troublemaker, jeez.” Them they froze, as if realizing they’d grumbled that reply back and—yet again—not wanting to admit to feeling like shit or whatever, they sighed. “I’m overtired, my apologies.”
“Quarter.”
“Huh?”
“New rules,” he decided to make up right on the spot. “It’s a quarter per cuss word around the kids, and a quarter per white lie around me.”
He felt their eyes on him. “You’re the troublemaker right now, tell you what, Daryl. And remember, I’m only, what is it? Six or seven years your junior.”
“Tell me what’s wrong, you can keep that quarter,” he insisted, almost as if he was talking to a kid, despite what Y/N just mentioned.
“I’ll tell you tomorrow when we’re out lookin’ for her.”
Ah, he saw what they were doing. Still, he didn’t want them ripping their stitches or messing up their damn shoulder no more. “Why not now?”
“’Cause I don’t want to think too much before bedtime, you know how it is. And dude, that cigarette amped me up.” They ran their hand through their hair and groaned, “I can really be an idiot.”
“You and me both. By the way, nicotine is a stimulant. Says so on the box,” he deadpanned, inhaling the final dregs and savoring every second of it.
“Listen to Mr. Nicotine-is-a-Stimulant. He’s startin’ to sound like me, the poor guy.”
Then before he could blink, he heard “Eh, fuck it,” and Y/N next asked him, “May I?”
After he made an affirmative grunt, they swiped the cigarette from his hand, their fingers brushing his.
And with that, Y/N took one final (very small) puff, and coughed before digging it into the rock and—oh, of course they next put the butt in their pocket, they have that thing against littering. Yup, then they picked up T-Dog’s, too.
He liked that about them, too. Y/N had this...he guessed it was hope. A real damn stubborn hope. It was nice.
Also, was he a dick for being really curious about whatever it was they’re hiding? How bad could it be?
________________________________
You
Yup.
Coughing up smoke, on a boulder, in the dark, with egg on your clothes and a cigarette in your hand. Well, in your pocket, now, technically, you could throw out the stubs later.
What a night. What a past 50-something hours. Tomorrow would end up marking the full 72. Not a good number in terms of Sophia...
Daryl lightly bumped your arm and jolted you out of it. “When you finally get around to sharin’ whatever it is, will we need them beers you mentioned?”
“Nobody needs beer, but...we might, um,” you cut off with an anxious little laugh you hope he’ll ignore. “I might will need to chug a little first, it’d prolly be...” Might as well use the stupid word of the day. “‘Pragmatic.’”
“Just like your ‘pragmatic’ cigarette, there?”
You know, that man can be really quick when he wants to be. Nice, dry sense of humor. It’ll be way more enjoyable when movements like laughing don’t make your stitches hurt so much.
Elbowing him gently, you found a real smile when you agreed, “That’s it, it was a pragmatic cigarette.”
“Which amped you up,” he seemed to tease. “Alright Y/N, we should get our asses back if we’re leavin’ at first light.” He got up, brushed the dirt off, and moved to climb down before stopping and offering you a hand.
He finally agreed he’d let you join him to track down Sophia tomorrow. That made you feel a little better.
But your thoughts were still racing. Especially after Shane brought up...
“I’m gonna stay here a little while longer, Daryl. It’s quiet.”
“Want me to wait?”
“Nah, you don’t have to, go get your beauty sleep.”
He’d squinted at you again when you said that, as if was about to ask you something else. You had the vaguest sensation that he could probably bore holes with his eyes if he tried, so decided to challenge it head-on by frowning back.
Just like that, his gaze softened.
And with a hum in acknowledgment, he climbed the rest of the way down and began to walk back.
#the walking dead fanfiction#twd fanfiction#twd#the walking dead#reader insert#reader insert fanfiction#canon compliant#Daryl x reader#daryl dixon#daryl dixon fanfiction#daryl x y/n#daryl x you#daryl dixon x y/n#daryl dixon x reader#daryl dixon x you#Daryl/You#shane walsh#dale horvath#glenn rhee#Beth Greene#maggie greene#maggie rhee#theodore douglas#t-dog#the slowpoke series
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