#and someone responded to them and was like yes that's because you REALLY have ADHD unlike all these FAKERS in this thread that are just | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

copperbadge · 4 months

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Every so often I get an Anon ask where I'm not entirely comfortable responding in public with no cut or warnings ahead of the text -- it's not that anything inappropriate is being said, it's just sometimes the subject matter's a little rough. This is one of those, so I decided to copy and paste it and put it behind a cut; warnings for discussion of abuse and fraught familial situations.

You've spoken about having ADHD before, and i was wondering if you have any links to websites with resources for adults with ADHD that are more than the very generic "stay organised!", "eat healthily!", "avoid distractions!" things? like, something that explains ADHD and WHY getting organised is good, maybe? or how ADHD may intersect with anxiety? my mother finally went to a doctor and got (as i expected) an ADHD diagnosis, but the doctor told her medication wouldn't give her much at this point, which is fine, but she's just kept going as usual for her, which is not.

she has ignored everything i've told her before (like, to think ahead and prioritise, to make plans, to make lists, that she has to be systematic about it, to stay calm because if she has a plan everything should be done on time) but she ignores me. she just starts doing whatever, whenever, and then getting annoyed/anxious that "nothing" is done, and then she starts yelling at me.

i just want her to realise she MUST at least attempt to be organised, and that it's not just for work stuff, it's for everything, including every day stuff like chores. (also, i'd like to stop being yelled at. like, some of my first memories are of getting yelled at. it's been years and years of regular bouts of screaming. now i know it's her and not me, and i'd. like it to stop)

i apologize for the huge ask/rant, but yeah, do you know of any resources that explain the importance of being organised? i think if i show her something 'official' maybe she'll start doing it. or do you have any personal tips for talking to her about it? or a book about someone's experience with ADHD? anything. anything at all.

So there is...much to unpack here, as the kids say, both in terms of what you are asking directly and what you are not asking but what I'm going to address anyway. I don't have any great resources for what you're looking for, because neurodiversity comes in a lot of shapes and sizes even within a single diagnosis, and as you likely know I'm a big proponent of doing-what-works, and that's something a person has to figure out for themselves. A lot of people seem to find ADDitude very relatable and they are informative, but that's probably the best general resource out there to go deeper than surface, and a good place for her to start reading if she wants to.

But the real problem, Anon, is that she's never going to listen to you.

That seems like a real bold statement, but it is also extremely likely to be true. Most people who get a diagnosis start to work on themselves and learn more about their unique neurology; it's clear she's not going to do that, and you can't make her. I'm sure some of it is that she's been told her entire life, by people with much more power over her than you, to do those things: be organized, make lists, have a plan. They are the hardest things for people with ADHD to do, and she can't simply whip herself through them, and so she learned long ago to ignore anyone saying anything about it. Medication could help with that a lot, actually, so your mother's doctor really fucked you both by telling her it wouldn't do anything for her; whether she's taken that as permission to ignore the problem or whether she just believed him, he did a really shitty thing in doing that.

Your mother is neurologically incapable of forcing herself to do many things that neurotypical people find easy. There are workarounds, yes; some of us do extremely well if we decide that EVERYTHING has to be planned, and behave accordingly. Some of us find stopgaps. But that has to be a decision she makes, to find workarounds for herself. It's not something you can offer her with helpful websites or books, because she is also likely very deep in shame about it, to judge from her other behaviors. That's not your fault, which means it's also not your job to fix it.

And here's the other problem: you are in an abusive home situation where your mother is taking out her frustration with her mental illness by hurting you.

And that really really sucks and I'm really, really sorry. But the screaming-at-you, which absolutely should not be happening, is a result of decades of frustration at the world that won't accommodate her, combined with an inability to regulate her emotions. Unless she is medicated or learns better regulation or at least picks a different target, it's not going to stop. That's not your fault either. Some of it isn't even her fault. (Some of it is; mental illness is not our choice but it is our responsibility, and she is not behaving as either an adult or a parent should in abusing you because she can't find somewhere else to put all her emotions.)

Presumably you are either too young to leave or can't afford to, but the best possible thing you can do for yourself is get out as soon as you can, sever yourself from her financially, and then decide what level of interaction you want with her going forward. Honestly, may be the best thing for her as well, to realize that if she doesn't make a change, she will lose access to her child.

I realize that is almost certainly not immediately possible, however. Do not leave if you are going to a less safe situation, either. Be smart and strategic -- make your plans and prepare as much as possible ahead of time.

"So in the meantime, Sam, what the fuck am I supposed to do?"

Bearing in mind that we are going to assume you cannot help your mother, as she either doesn't want help or is in denial or both, the best thing you can do if you can't get out is to shore yourself up: remind yourself as regularly as possible that none of this is your fault, and do your best to protect yourself both emotionally and physically. IE, if she's not organized enough to buy groceries or cook, do what you can to make sure you are regularly fed -- do not concern yourself with whether she eats. That's her responsibility, she's a grownup. If you are likely to be yelled at for this -- well, she was always going to yell at you about something; it might as well be as a result of you caring for yourself first. As much as you can, spend time away from her if possible.

Given her past behavior, especially if you are an only child or oldest sibling, you may already be de-facto head of household; this may be simply a process of assuming actively that she can't fulfill that role, and doing what you can to care for yourself and any siblings. If you have other family who understand the situation, I strongly suggest tapping them for help. As much as you can, reach out to adults in your life you trust, and get their help in caring for yourself and your family without needing to depend on her for support.

I don't wish to stigmatize mental illness or addiction but living with someone in denial about the impact of their mental health on those around them is exactly like living with an addict: the best strategy is to expect nothing from them, remind yourself often that you are not to blame for this situation, look out for yourself first and foremost, and get out once you can. I'm really sorry it has to be that way, because it shouldn't be. But I'm concerned with you, not with her, and if you want to build a better life for yourself, it's going to have to be one that doesn't depend on you being able to change someone else.

I'm afraid I don't have a lot of books for you about that, either. I wish you all the luck -- you shouldn't need it, but unfortunately sometimes we still do.

#sam has adhd #mental health #abuse #toxic family

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storm-and-starlight · 4 months

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Rodimus and ADHD

I'm gonna start this out by saying that Rodimus having ADHD is something that's been pretty fundamental to my understanding of the character since I first read MTMTE/Lost Light (seriously, I can point you to the exact panel when I went "oh okay this is Canon to me now") but also that I've almost never seen a portrayal that really vibes with how I interpret it? A lot of the fics and fanon I've come across tend to take a fairly... typical view on and portrayal of ADHD where the things that are focused on are hyperactivity and task/responsibility/boredom avoidance, and to me that's not... it's not the, like, the fundamentals of how I read Rodimus and ADHD? It's not the main issues that affect who he is and how he interacts with the world -- those would instead be the impulsivity and the... idk how to phrase it, the "ADHD trauma"? It's really distinct and I'll get to it later.

The impulsivity is fairly easy to get to, and fairly obvious -- the best representation of how it manifests in Rodimus specifically is in the initial description of the Rodpod, where someone (I can't quite tell who from the panel) says "you know what he's like: he obsesses over something, then gets bored" and then it's revealed that Rodimus presumably commissioned an entire ship built in the shape of his own head. That's really what I see as the main ADHD symptom -- the mix of obsession and impulsivity. We see it when he gets everyone to go on the quest, we see it when he tries to chop off his own arm because he thinks it might stop the future from happening, we see it in his plan to stop the sparkeater -- it's basically how he responds to every problem he's presented with, and often significantly more than that, and that kind of impulsivity is very much a noted feature of ADHD. (Being briefly but intensely obsessed with something before losing interest and dropping it is also a really big ADHD thing -- just look at the cycle of hyperfixations that's so common in fandom).

(Also, when combined with his ego, recklessness, and carelessness, you get basically the entire negative side of his personality out of this, which is why I consider it so fundamental to his character -- significantly more so than, say, task avoidance.) (though recklessness, and carelessness are also fairly common with ADHD -- it's related to impulsivity in general.)

The "ADHD trauma" thing is a little trickier to explain: it's basically how I describe the constant awareness that you have screwed the hell up in the past when it's important and you are going to screw the hell up in the future when it's important and hating the fact that it happens and yet also being completely and fundamentally aware that it's something you can never, ever change about yourself no matter how hard you try (because you have tried, in the past, and it has never worked even a little bit). Like, hello, that basically describes my entire childhood and also the lives of most of my friends who also have ADHD. The panel that convinced me that he does have ADHD is the one that basically explicitly describes this, in Lost Light where he and Drift are talking after they return from the Functionist Universe and Rodimus says "Oh, I know what I'm like. That's the trouble. I know exactly what I'm like -- I just can't stop myself," because, like. that's it. that's the experience in a nutshell.

And like, I'm not saying that this is super severe -- he definitely has more self-confidence than is often warranted, but he also does have a lot of self-esteem issues, and I think this is really the root of them: failing, over and over, until you reach the point where you start thinking that it's bound to happen someday and that everyone will hate you for it forever. That's a super common experience with the kind of disability that ADHD is, especially if you don't know you have it in the first place, and that combined with all the smaller traits (the impulsivity, the hyperfixation, and yes even the task/responsibility/boredom avoidance) is what really convinced me that he is an ADHD character.

#transformers #transformers meta #maccadam #rodimus #rodimus prime #rodimus and ADHD #obligatory internet disclaimer that this is my own personal interpretation of canon and you are allowed to disagree with it etc. etc.

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compassionatereminders · 2 months

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Hi! I wanted to answer the anon who was asking about what ADHD meds do & don’t help with as someone who was late-diagnosed and started meds this year. However, the effect of ADHD meds and even experience of ADHD itself varies heavily from person to person, so do keep that in mind!

DO:

- Actually hearing and retaining what people are saying. I was never able to fully experience a college lecture without panic because of only hearing bits and bobs of the lecture, going in one ear and out the other. I can truly focus and actually respond to what people are saying in a single line of thought without desperately trying to stimulate myself as much as possible to maybe get 1/2 of the detail to stick in my brain.

- Time blindness!! At first starting meds it felt like the day went for 500 years. I felt so much slower and mentally calmer, and I was able to complete “simple” tasks in under 15-20 minutes that could normally take me up to 3 hours due to distractions.

- Memory! Off my meds I have an enormously hard time remembering anything I’m trying to accomplish. I bounce from task to task without ever finishing it. On meds I’m able to think “I need to do laundry” and I just. Do the fucking laundry. It’s magical and I’ve cried more than once thinking about how much I’ve spent my life thinking I’m stupid or lazy for not being able to “just do the thing” like everyone else.

- Shutting down/fearful procrastination— I would be stuck doing nothing for days and days because I would want to do a task so badly but overly think about it and essentially paralyze myself in the decision making/getting started process. When I’m on my meds I can just do the fucking thing! Even if I don’t really feel like it! When before I practically had to have the exact perfect circumstance and could never create them, I can just plop myself somewhere and do the fucking thing. Just like I’ve been told all my life— “Even if you don’t want to, do it anyways” except now I have the actual ability to do that like everyone else. Before it was like everyone else was telling me to turn on a light, but I had no switch.

DON’T:

- Help with hyperfixation. Sometimes I can fixate even worse when I’m on my meds, just because my mind is so single stream that I’m able to do things for even more excessive periods. I burn myself out accidentally a lot quicker if I don’t provide myself with manual distractions to take breaks from daily/academic tasks.

- Immediately fix you. It was hard to start meds because I had to unlearn a lot of habits I had developed to cope with my undiagnosed ADHD— such as constantly moving, stimulating myself, having candy, etc. Just because the day became longer didn’t mean my time management became awesome either. I’m still working on tools that help ADHD with my meds!

- Not really a don’t but more so an unexpected side effect was becoming very intensely angry or upset when the medicine wears off. I struggle with emotional dysfunction already but the anger was so severe and I didn’t know that ADHD meds wearing off can cause that.

- Work 100% all of the time. Some days things like stress, poor sleep, poor diet, etc, can alter the way the same dose of meds works for you. Especially if you are nicotine dependent or a regular caffeine consumer, the way your meds work can change on a day by day basis. Some days I feel like the meds aren’t working at all, but more often than not there’s still a difference between myself being unmedicated and medicated.

- Instantly make you better at studying/task completion. Apparently having ADHD for years made me so extremely avoidant of many things that I just don’t have the skill set to do them well yet. Like studying, for example. I still struggle with extreme perfectionism that impedes me outside of ADHD paralysis.

- I’m gonna say it twice but they DONT FIX YOU ON THEIR OWN. Yes, they make your life fucking way better than before especially if you’re an adult with undiagnosed ADHD, but you have to learn how to use tools and learn skills to support yourself for the medication to help you to the max capability! I will definitely say that being on meds helped overhaul my mindset when I’m off meds and improved my perception of myself, but again, the meds can only get me so far!

I hope this helped anon!!!

Thank you for taking the time to share this! I hope anon sees it 💕

#chat with kat

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galedekarios · 4 months

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I really appreciate you defending our boy so valiantly and with such well thought out, concise arguments! As someone who has ADHD, and has struggled with depression my whole life, I immediately latched onto Gale bc I see so much of myself in him!! There is SO much to love about him and he's one of those characters that helps me be more compassionate to myself (self recognition through the other for the win!) so seeing fans constantly shit on him is disheartening and really annoying, but to see the actual DEVELOPERS talk about "yeah that guy sucks he's SO annoying everyone would be better off if he had just killed himself" is.....ooof.

BUT thankfully when I start feeling really upset we've got blogs like you to ride to our favorite wizard's defense and help celebrate all the things we love about this beautiful, complex character! I hope one day we won't have to work so hard to push back against this negativity towards Gale (and any character that isn't that one who fans and devs have deemed perfect and flawless and the only one that matters...) but as long as we do I appreciate all the work and passion you put in to raising up Gale of Waterdeep!

(and sorry this went on forever I just get really discouraged in this fandom sometimes but seeing your posts always build me right back up and I wanted to let you know what a bright spot you are in my bg3 experience! ^^)

thank you for sending me this message! 🖤

i normally try to ignore these things because at the end of the day, they are meaningless.

but... not only does this come from the devs, but this hit a bit too close to home for me as well.

i've been struggling a lot with depression myself for the better part of a decade now.

i'll try to put my feelings into words bc how they have chosen to respond here and the message they are sending actually upsets me. i know i'm repeating myself at this point so sorry for sounding like a broken record myself, but:

gale is clearly coming out of a depression & self-isolation & struggles with suicidal ideation.

there is absolutely no sugarcoating that.

despite that, once he has no choice but to travel again after he's been abducted by the nautiloid, or perhaps because of it, he can't help himself. he can't isolate himself again. he's happy to talk and connect with not only the protag, but also the companions. he talks a lot, he cooks for them, and yes, sometimes he can be overbearing. he tends to overexplain. he corrects himself for talking too much, being too much. he's very aware of that perception of him and it's still an insecurity of his by the time the epilogue rolls around. it's in the devnotes. it's in the way he thanks the protag for encouraging him to attend the get-together at all.

i thought (foolishly, apparently) that at least the people who created the game and who are colleagues with gale's writer, had the emotional maturity and intelligence to recognise that and also see how that could be something a part of their player base emphasises and connects with.

gale being described as the one who annoys everyone and him dying as the "right" ending, as making up for being perceived as "annoying" by those around him, "inconveniencing" them by being ill and asking for a treatment, and his death being contextualised as "giving" back "to the world" is just...

it's so fucking disgusting to me.

#ch: gale dekarios #vg: baldur's gate 3 #series: baldur's gate #text: asks #text: personal #depression cw #suicidal ideation cw #larian critical #bg3 critical

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durnesque-esque · 8 months

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Thoughts I had last night

So while brushing my teeth, getting ready for bed last night, a thought hit me so hard I literally sat down to grapple with it.

I've heard a lot of conversation about how neurospicy people struggle with humor - most of this tends to revolve around not understanding humor, but it occurred to me that laughter is one of the most easily recognizable Positive social cues.

So as someone who is likely neurospicy in some ways and definitely a person who struggles with rejection sensitive disphoria to some extent, it hit me like a ton of bricks thinking about how I interact with friend groups - particularly in things like group chats and discords. I rely heavily on memes and silly interactions because if I get a laugh react or a "lol" or what have you, it's an immediate sense of "success" in the conversation and my brain gets the positive wave of "They like you! You did a good contribution to this conversation! These people want to be your friend!

And if I don't get that positive response, I get hit with an overwhelming wave of rejection and shame and the brain goes: "you're an interloper! Nobody wants you here. Why did you say anything at all?"

And I know, logically, that that is not what's really happening. I know I ignore phone chats for long periods at a time because I'm busy, I'm doing other things, or I might see something and chuckle personally and not respond. Or even if a friend sends something I don't think is funny, it doesn't mean I hate them! And yet, brain craves the YES and YES ONLY!

So anyway, I took a quick search on the net and didn't immediately find research that supported this thought - the top responses were all about how ADHD people might create inappopriate comedy or not understand comedy and not so much about why we're popping out jokes all the time, but I'm sure somebody else has had this thought before. It just hadn't occurred to me yet.

#neurospicy #neurodiverse #comedy #memes #rejection sensitivity

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its-a-me-mango · 4 months

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Hi welcome to my blog!!!

ART TAG #mango art ASKS TAG #mangos mystery ask box

MANGO REF SHEET-> HERE <- IT'S THERE

HEYA I'm Mango! All my info can be found in my blog description! I'm here to post and reblog SMG4 content because this silly little series has a vice grip on my brain and I can't get out lol. I don't know how active or consistent I'll be with posting here but this is my special place to do it in!

About me:

💊 I've been a fan of SMG4 on and off since 2014, basically anytime I have a Mario hyperfixation, I get back into SMG4 LMAO.

💊 I am also just a normal Super Mario fan so I may occasionally reblog/post about it, but this blog is primarily for SMG4 content. Well it should be, if I start posting more Mario than SMG4 don't even worry about it.

💊 My favourite SMG4 characters are SMG3, Karen and Tari! Mario is my favourite Mario character overall so he doesn't count as a fav SMG4 character, I always love Mario. :3

💊 I don't ship a lot of characters but I think SMG34 is pretty neat. I don't take shipping too seriously, not it a negative way just in a silly goofy way, so any posts I make towards any ships are entirely light hearted and for fun.

Blog info:

💊 Please don't be afraid to contact me if needed! I don't bite, I'm not the best at conversations but I'm happy to receive asks and DMs!

💊 I will be keeping everything on this blog SFW but I may make jokes or references to more mature content so please keep this in mind! I'll never post or reblog anything explicit and I'll alway tag any suggestive content, however if I don't then I've likely forgotten to do so, you're welcome to message me for any tagging corrections!

💊 You are more than welcome to draw any of my OC's, AU's or designs! You don't have to ask me, I'd appreciate if you tagged me in a post instead of sending them to my ask box but I don't mind either way! Get sillay with it lol.

💊 I don't really take art requests as I just don't have the time to do them all, but I'm more than happy to receive suggestions! Obviously please don't expect me or pressure to do everything sent in, I'm here to have fun!

💊 Additionally, please don't take it personally if I don't answer your asks and/or messages! I do read every one that is sent to me but I don't always have the energy to respond to them all! You don't need to send any "have you seen my ask/message" comments because yes I have seen it, just not responded lol!

💊 Again, my activity here will fluctuate purely based on where my interests are, I have ADHD so I tend to bounce around interests pretty quickly, but I'm always happy to answer questions and stuff even if I'm not active so never be afraid to interact with this blog at any point!

FOR THE LOVE OF GOD PLEASE REBLOG ART!!! LIKES DO NOTHING, THIS ISN'T INSTAGRAM OR TWITTER!!! PLEASE I'M BEGGING YOU THIS ISN'T JUST FOR ME THIS IS FOR EVERYONE, IF YOU LIKE SOMEONES ART REBLOG IT!!!

ENJOY YOURSELF, PEACE

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bumblepony · 11 days

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Thank you for tagging me @adhdprincess Tagging @march-flowerr @two-birds-alone-together @becomethesun [Empty Q's are at the bottom of the post]

1. How many works do you have on AO3? 75

2. What's your total AO3 word count? 434,796

3. What fandoms do you write for? TLOU

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Unexpected Consequences : 327

Like You Were Always Meant To Be Here : 306

Glitch in the Code or Playing Video Games with My Uncle and Dad : 183

A Soul For Sale Or Rent : 164

After The Rain :126

5. Do you respond to comments? Yes, as much as I can. But I am bad at remembering, so if I get a notification and don't respond right away, my brain forgets it exists. Thank you, ADHD.

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? I think its a tie between these two.

Life is pretty cruel For a touchy feely fool

We're Only Going So Far

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? Maybe this one. Boy I Was Back Then

8. Do you get hate on fics? No, not really. I had one fic that got some hate but it was pretty minimal. I don't even have that fic anymore; I planned to rewrite it but never did.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind? Yes, Yes I do. All kinds, but generally, it's soft smut; I don't do a ton of really out-there stuff, not that I am yucking anyones yum, just not my style. I have M/M pairings and M/F I haven't really explored F/F yet but I plan to just haven't got around to it yet.

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written? Yes, I do. So far, only one has been published its TLOU/Firefly Turn On The Red Light . I am working on another right now for TLOU/LOTR

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen? No, not that I know of.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated? Nope.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before? Yes, actually a few,

14. What’s your all-time favorite ship? So, it's not really a Ship because they are actually together, but Bill/Frank is my favorite ship from the video game. I love that the HBO version actually gave us a relationship with them.

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will? Probably my Henry & Sam Live Wip. Like, I want to write it, but it's going to be a lot of work, and there already is a great writer, @becomethesun, who is writing one that is amazing. It's called collaborators .

16. What are your writing strengths? Uggg, I guess my ability to come up with ideas for stories.

17. What are your writing weaknesses? My ability to finish writing those ideas.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic? I do it from time to time, but I try to get help from someone who actually speaks the language.

19. First fandom you wrote for? Technically The Heralds of Valdimar, but that was all through Yahoo email with my friends when I was 15-16 years old. My only published stuff is on AO3 TLOU.

20. Favourite fic you’ve written? Shit I think it's a tie with

A Soul For Sale Or Rent

Glitch in the Code or Playing Video Games with My Uncle and Dad

----

To copy on mobile, hold and press the text below and tap "Copy". Feel free to use the pic at the top of the post as well!

1. How many works do you have on AO3? 2. What's your total AO3 word count? 3. What fandoms do you write for? 4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos? 5. Do you respond to comments? 6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? 7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? 8. Do you get hate on fics? 9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind? 10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written? 11. Have you ever had a fic stolen? 12. Have you ever had a fic translated? 13. Have you ever co-written a fic before? 14. What’s your all-time favorite ship? 15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will? 16. What are your writing strengths? 17. What are your writing weaknesses? 18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic? 19. First fandom you wrote for? 20. Favourite fic you’ve written?

#tlou #asks #tlou fanfiction #the last of us #ao3

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deadmomjokes · 7 months

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How is bean doing?

Best wishes for the start of a new school year!

I honestly thought I had answered this earlier, so my apologies for leaving you hanging!

The Bean is doing pretty great! She's a whole four years old now, which she's very proud of, because as we all know, 4 is when you become a Big Kid (apparently).

This year is her first time with a different teacher at preschool, and we were worried about how she'd handle it. She LOVES her old teacher, and had been with her since she started there at 2.5. There was exactly one day of mild confusion and mild pouting, but she's been a total rock star about the transition and is still loving school.

Her only complaint is that she wants to be friends with some of the other kids, but they aren't very kind to the teacher and don't listen to what she (teacher) says. They whisper when the teacher tells them it's not talking time, and they get up and leave when they're supposed to listen. So maybe she (Bean) can't be their friend, because they try to talk to her and distract her when she's trying to listen to the teacher, and that's not very nice.

Let me tell you, hearing that was kind of a relief. She's a wiggly, distractible little squirt with more than a few signs that an ADHD diagnosis may be in her future, so I've been worried in the back of my mind that she'd end up being a bit of a disruptor. Hearing that she, of her own volition, is trying to pay attention and avoid distractions was just amazing.

I told her I was proud of her for making good choices and sticking to them even when other people are choosing something different. We talked about how we can't control what other people do, but we can always choose what we do and how we respond to them. I also explained that you can be friends with people who don't make your same choices, and that being a friend doesn't mean saying yes to everything they want from you. Sometimes being a good friend means telling someone no and making a better choice, and that's called being a good example. She said she didn't like how they kept trying to make her do "not good things," though, and I told her she can always choose her friends, and she doesn't have to hang out where she's uncomfortable or with people who upset her.

Who would have thought we'd be talking about peer pressure in preschool? Complicated life lessons right out the gate, man.

Then, of course, we have the time she got in the car all weepy eyed and frantic, and goes "Mama today in class there was a roly poly on the floor and [classmate] wanted to smush it and I told him no, so I picked up the roly poly but [teacher] said we needed to put him outside, but I really love roly polies so I just pretended to put him outside but really I put him in my pocket so I could bring him home because I love him and he is so cute, only I didn't want him to fall out or crawl in my pants so I moved him to my backpack right here, but now I can't find him in my backpack and I think he's gone D: "

We scoured that backpack. No roly poly, living or smushed. He probably escaped (lucky for him). We had a discussion about how bugs aren't happy inside, and when we love something we have to do what's best for them, so even though we really love bugs, we shouldn't put them in our pockets and keep them inside because they need dirt and grass and rain and all the things they can only get outside. Also it would be very scary to be stuck in a giant pocket and backpack, so next time we won't do that because we don't want to scare the roly poly.

Have I mentioned that I love my child? She's kind of the best, and that is not sarcasm. She's a hoot and a half and I adore her, and the way her little mind works.

#kids #adventures of bean #asks

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paranorahjones · 3 months

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it's super slow at work so i'm gonna rant about dating and a dream i had last night.

i hate dating. my feelings are extremely unpredictable when it comes to romantic interest and that basically means that i'm super picky. the few times that i've gone out with guys, all of them have been very interested in me from the start while i'm in a place of being unsure how i feel about them, because i didn't know any of them beforehand. personally, i'm not willing to drag things out for a long time on the off chance that my feelings will change. if i don't feel "it" almost immediately, i won't force myself to stay in an unbalanced dynamic. i feel it's incredibly unfair to the other person, and it will only make breaking it off more painful for them if they've caught serious feelings and i haven't. i've been on the receiving end of rejection for letting my feelings build up longer than i should have, and i hate hate hate the thought of putting someone else through that. so i break it off quickly.

the most recent time i went out with a guy, which was a few months ago, he was very clearly catching feelings quickly. and he was very vocal about how much he liked me/enjoyed my company (but not in a creepy way). and unfortunately, i have so little experience with receiving so much words of affirmation that it scared the hell out of me. i never knew how to respond and i knew that i wasn't catching feelings, but sadly i think we could have been good friends in other circumstances.

he also made a few comments regarding my very visible adhd that made me feel . . . well, "fetishized" isn't the right word. but something akin to that. my various tics and adhd symptoms are pretty easy to spot if you know that i have adhd, and that did come up naturally in one of our earlier conversations. he made several comments about them along the lines of "that's so cute" and it never sat right with me. i don't think he had any malicious intent at all, he was always really sweet in our conversations and i think he just didn't know how it came across. unfortunately i wasn't brave enough to bring up how it made me feel; it was something else that i had never experienced before and i didn't know how to respond to it.

all that to say, for the short time that we went out together, our dynamic always felt deeply unbalanced. just like the last two times i'd gone out with someone. and i just couldn't stay in that with the vague hope that it would balance itself out.

it's made me realize that for me to actually get into a serious relationship one day, it's going to take a very specific kind of dynamic (and very specific kind of man) for me to really want to pursue that. it's almost certainly going to have to stem from a pre-existing friendship. platonic connections are so important to me and i need to have a very strong one in place before a romantic connection can start.

onto the dream that i had last night.

it was really vivid and unusual for me. it was one of those dreams that you wake up from and think "that's going to make me sad for the rest of the day." and it has.

i dreamed of a man asking me out. i can still picture what he looked like, slightly older than me with very dark hair but a few silvery streaks, like he was greying early (sidebar, i hope i go grey early because i always think it looks beautiful on others). he had soft blue eyes and a gentle voice and a very genuine smile. in the dream i had the feeling that i knew of him previously, but i didn't really know him. and that was a big deal, because when he asked me out i felt completely safe in saying yes. i think we went out to dinner and just spent the evening together. i can't really remember the details but i remember feeling safe and "perfectly, incandescently happy". it felt like we were balanced, equal. it felt like i'd found someone i'd been looking for for a long time. i even remember his name.

i woke up and felt that absence immediately.

stuff like that leaves me in such a place. because it helps to narrow down exactly what i hope to find in a future relationship, but it's also of course an aching reminder of what i haven't found yet, what i'm not sure i'll ever find.

anyways. the yearning levels are off the charts again today. and all i can do about it is overshare on tumblr dot com.

#i feel very sorry for anyone who tries to love me in the future #my responses to being loved are such a tangled mess of various unaddressed traumas subtly given to me by my family/people from my past #i promise i'm trying to heal

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deficd · 2 months

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GET TO KNOW THE MUN.

respond to the prompts out of character!

what made you pick up the current muse(s) you have? oh man. uh. i guess, following my url's general meaning, i choose to write muses on here that have defied their fates/expectations in some shape or form. this is true for more of my older muses on here, as i've definitely added some recently where i have to kinda twist that a bit. aside from that, i really just write muses that i can connect with on some level. my apparent calling is sad men who are prone to violence and are also incredibly sad/lonely. the mains i have floating in my head are usually there because it's the current media i'm consuming (i.e. star wars: the old republic). i could write long metas on why i adore all of my muses though. c':

is there anything you don’t like to write? uhh, you know. i'm actually pretty open to most things. i need some sort of action going on, regardless of the type, to keep interested i suppose. like, if there's a lot of conversation, i tend to get stuck. that's just because i struggle with it and i don't want to bore my partner, though. aside from that, pretty much any genre you throw at me, i'll be interested in writing.

is there anything you really enjoy writing? I'm a sucker for redemption au's, even if it takes thirty threads to get there. i enjoy writing the aftermath of a character's worst arc, and all of the guilt, pain, and sorrow that comes with it. so do i want to write arcann's redemption? yes. do i want to write about nihilus somehow healing from being a literal wound in the force? yes. (or even, writing who he was before malachor.) ragnar going back to being a farmer? please. all of it, yes. aside from that, i really, really enjoy hurt/comfort, violent/gore threads, general sci-fi adventure, and general fantasy adventure (the campfires, the fights, the enemies in between destinations, etc.)

how do you come up with headcanons? it's kind of a mix between being inspired by outside sources, such as media, music, mututals, and things that pop into my head after hyperfixating about a muse for three straight hours or something. i do adopt headcanons/partial headcanons from other people, but like sparingly and if it's appropriate/i know them/have asked. most of the time i really just get hit in the face with them though.

do you write in silence or do you play music? i am someone that requires music to write. i need to drown out distractions however i can. i really struggle with being easily distracted (getting tested for adhd soon lol) because i can very easily lose a thought before i'm able to write it down. i find that with music i can focus better, and i have playlists that help with whatever mood i'm going for in the reply.

do you plan your replies or wing them? i usually just sort of write what comes to mind first and then, if i have questions about something, i'll either approach the other mun or write things in the tags. sort of referring to the previous question, i try to write my ideas down as soon as i see a reply, or i'll be prone to forgetting them.

do you enjoy shipping? yes, 1000% yes. i love all sorts of relationships, not only the romantic ones. i don't really get to write about platonic/friendships too often, but i really enjoy the times i can. that said, re: romantic ships, i'm usually on board if there's chemistry between muses. i also encourage other muns to approach me if they think they might want to ship because chances are, i'm already on board.

what’s your alias/name? Lee

age? old

birthday? December 25th

favorite color? silver, purple, black

favorite song? i... don't think i can choose? there are all sorts of songs that hit me in the right way. i can tell you a song i'm listening to on repeat right now is The Wind Weeps Eleanor by American Murder Song.

last movie you watched? Hagazussa: A Heathen's Curse, but I hope to go see Dune 2 this week.

last show you watched? just started Shōgun and it's wonderful.

last song you listened to? Dwamn by Tech N9ne 🫣

favorite food? fry bread! or a step further: navajo tacos.

favorite season? winter

do you have a tumblr best friend? um i think i'm close to a few people on here, but the only one i know i can tag for sure is @vuulpecula starbuck has put up with my nonsense on here for years and somehow still talks to me lmfao we have the greatest and the worst ships and honestly i am always always always excited to write with her❤️❤️❤️

and idk if i should tag u because this is an rp meme and this is one of my rp blogs but @oolathurman is my other bestie and i've known and adored them for literal years so. yeah sflkjdslf❤️❤️❤️

TAGGED BY @valorums thank you<3

TAGGING @vuulpecula @riiese @hcxcd @fasciinating @juramentum @mistrdctr / @respondedinkind @auroradicit @red-white-and-trauma @blue-eyed-banshee @helreginn @astridnorddottir @brittlefcrged and YOU!

#dash games.#about the idiot.#x: don't fall behind (queue.)

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indigodiskmybeloved · 2 months

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So I heard through ye olde chain that you are also a Turo fan, any headcannons?

(Ask-the-AI’s-anything cause I don’t feel like using my main)

:0

(This is one of my first asks from a person I look up to AHAHEHEHEBSB)

So here are headcannons!

Undiagnosed Autistic (Sada has ADHD, and Arven has Anxiety. The triple As)

Cannot physically handle being on the news for more than 20 minutes. Otherwise it gets overwhelming and needs to go hide in Area Zero and continue being a hermit crab

Literally has 3 main moods: Tired, angry, and somewhat annoyed but no one can really tell

Often can go on a tangent about his work. He usually stops mid-tangent if he sees that no one can understand him

Good at teaching adults and teens; kids, not so much

His AI has the Paradox version of his team that he has. So Turo's team would be Volcarona, Hariyama, Delibird, Tyranitar, Hydreigon, and Gallade.

Constantly has wrapped bandages around most of himself due to working in Area Zero. Sometimes you can leave more than with just a scratch

Literally has every single security measure known to man installed. He absolutely hates anyone barging in and interrupting

Doesn't really like Director Clavell. They used be friends, but Turo didn't really speak to him after he thought of Turo's work as "ridiculous nonsense"

Prefers emailing than calling, so emails where the only way he would respond to his son. Even then, he would barely reply

Raised Arven until he was about 7 or so, and then spent more time in the lab, thinking Arven would be able to handle being by himself

If anyone brings up Arven he does get extremely hostile. Not because someone threatened Arven, but it's because he doesn't want to be reminded he failed as a parent

Literally half of Turo's and Arven's conversations are them yelling. Sometimes Arven would have to spend the night at Penny's or Nemona's because he didn't want to face his father after it

Focused on the future because he doesn't want to face the past coming back to haunt him

Left-handed, just like Iron Valiant!

#asks my beloved #pokemon #mochi desires au #pokemon arven #pokemon turo #professor turo

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flashthescalesian-art · 2 months

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Silence (a.k.a Jax has rejection sensitive dysphoria)

Jax has ADHD, and I also have ADHD, so of course I had to dump my RSD issues onto Jax too because traumatizing my OCs is how I cope when something is bothering me. I’m not gonna go into detail about my personal issues (I’m okay, just struggle-bussing it through life), but sometimes no matter what anyone says, RSD still manages to convince you that you did something wrong when someone stops talking to you. (Bob belongs to @thehannalyzer, btw, he’s not mine. (Also, I’m not trying to make any commander mentioned out to be a “bad guy” or “mean”, just so we’re clear on that. This is from Jax’s RSD-clouded POV, I’m not bashing anyone else mentioned))

—————

“Something’s bugging you,” Blazer said in lieu of a greeting when he walked into Jax’s office and leaned on the desk with both arms, one hand supporting his chin as he stared at Jax.

Jax avoided eye contact and tried to pretend he was busy working. Go away.

“Hey, genius, you and I both know you hate paperwork, so there’s no way you’re so focused that you didn’t hear me.” Blazer grabbed Jax’s datapad and pulled it out of his hands before setting it facedown just out of Jax’s reach. “You gonna talk to me or do I need to make you talk?”

Jax glared up at Blazer. He looked genuinely worried, if annoyed, and Jax instantly felt guilty. What am I doing? Why am I pushing him away when he’s not even someone I’m mad at? Sighing, Jax rubbed a hand down his face, trying to stay composed enough to explain what was going on in his head. “The others are barely speaking to me. Or, it feels that way, anyway.” He shrugged. “I dunno if I’m just overreacting or if they’re actually ignoring me.”

Blazer frowned sympathetically as he absently rubbed the scar on his chin with one finger. “Okay. Are they just busy? It’s not like things have been quiet for anyone lately.”

Jax shrugged again, a lump forming in his throat. Force-dammit. Can’t talk about osik without crying. No wonder the others see me as a baby still. “I don’t know. A couple of them said they’re busy, but others… I haven’t heard from a few of them in weeks.” His eyes stung, so he scrubbed at them with one hand. He felt Blazer’s hand rest on top of the hand that still held his stylus for his datapad.

“Who haven’t you heard from?” Blazer’s voice was gentle, so gentle.

Jax couldn’t look at him. “F-Fox. And Bob. And— and Bacara and Neyo.”

“Well, you told me that Thorn’s been worried about Fox too, so I doubt he’s ignoring only you if his twin is worried about him. Plus you mentioned that Thire sounded worried.”

“Was that supposed to be reassuring?” Jax asked bitterly.

Blazer gave a soft sigh. “Yes and no. It’s not a good thing that Fox seems to be ignoring Thorn and Thire too, but it does mean that it’s probably nothing to do with you, if that’s what you’re upset about.”

“That doesn’t make me feel better,” Jax mumbled, still barely holding himself together. “Even if Fox isn’t mad at me, that doesn’t explain everyone else.”

Blazer squeezed Jax’s hand. “It is possible that Bob is avoiding talking to you since that fight you two had. It might be good if you don’t talk to him for a while anyway.”

Jax instantly felt guilt wash over him like a wave, so he buried his face in his arms on the desk, pulling away from Blazer. “I don’t wanna talk about that. He hates me, and I don’t even know what I did wrong.” Sure, Bob had sent multiple apologies after the fight, but that was nearly a month ago at this point. Jax hadn’t really responded since he wasn’t sure he believed Bob, and after a month of silence, it felt even harder to believe that Bob didn’t hate him.

“So what if he hates you?” Blazer’s voice took on a fierce tone that seemed to color his words any time Jax mentioned that he thought Bob— or any of his brothers, really —hated him. “You don’t need his approval or attention. Same goes for Neyo and Bacara. If they don’t wanna talk to you, that’s their issue, not yours. You didn’t do anything to them.”

Jax simply wanted to melt into the floor. He knew Blazer meant well, and some angry part of him agreed with Blazer, but he couldn’t shake the little cadet voice wondering why his older brothers didn’t seem to want to talk to him, or why he always felt like they looked down on him. Just the thought of never speaking to any of his older brothers again made that little voice cry out in agony. “But I don’t want to lose contact with them,” Jax whimpered into his arms.

“If they’re not gonna put in the effort, why should you?” Blazer asked, his raspy voice nearly a growl now.

Jax felt tears escape, so he pressed his face harder into his arms. “Because I love them,” he whimpered, feeling pathetic.

He heard the soft thunk of Blazer’s vambraces on the desk, then footsteps that stopped at his side. A hand rested on his shoulder. “You don’t owe them anything. If they don’t want to talk to you, that’s their choice. Don’t let them drag you down. If they don’t think you’re worth the effort, then it’s not a relationship worth stressing over.” Blazer’s voice was much softer now.

Jax tried to take a breath, but it came out as more of a sob. “But what did I do wrong?” It didn’t make sense that his older brothers would just stop talking to him, so he had to have done something to make them want to stop talking to him. Right?

Blazer grabbed Jax with both hands and carefully guided him out of his chair and onto the floor before pulling him into a tight hug. Jax didn’t have the energy to resist, so he simply buried his face in Blazer’s shoulder. “If you can’t think of anything you did wrong, you probably didn’t do anything wrong. Sometimes it’s not your fault when people don’t want to talk to you anymore.”

“It still feels like it’s my fault,” Jax choked out, clinging to Blazer.

Blazer simply held him tighter. “I know. I’m sorry.”

Jax could only cry harder.

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clitfisto · 5 months

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care to elaborate on the miles venom arc?

YES okay so. the thing abt the symbiote is that (like any good corruption arc) it feeds on and amplifies the worst traits of a character, which is pretty straightforward in peters case - his biggest issue is his anger, usually manifesting via retribution (eg. "i missed the part where thats my problem", hunting down uncle bens killer), so his origin story is always the great power/great responsibility thing so he learns to temper that rage. what the symbiote does, practically, is force him to unlearn that foundational character arc and regress to his worst self

since the symbiote really really loves aggression peter parker is literally its dream guy but miles is a little more complex. hes definitely susceptible to that same anger (eg. wanting to "make kingpin pay", the entire sm2 martin li arc) but not as often and nowhere near as hardcore, so the peter playbook wont work as well for him (and also it would be fucking boring. weve seen that shit like 8 times already (not saying symbiote peter is boring i just think modern iterations need to explore new aspects to avoid treading the same ground constantly (sm2 does this very fucking well (also yuri lowenthal is a great va for peter like right up there with josh keaton (i think this many parentheses means im off topic (the adhd demon got me))))))

SO. whats miles' major issue he needs to overcome in his origin story? full disclosure i have not read the comics (but i heard they had some issues with his initial characterization anyway? which is fair enough tbh writing the successor to such an iconic guy is Fucking Hard) so TO ME PERSONALLY!! spider-verse miles is the definitive iteration of the guy and like. we all remember the whats up danger scene, his origin arc is overcoming self-doubt and learning to believe in himself ("its a leap of faith", "youre on your way, just keep going") which, alongside social anxiety (eg. the itsv "everyone knows" scene, sm2 "are you mad at me? it sounds like youre mad at me" dialog), seems to be part of some general anxiety issues. this is pretty well supported by the recent "the spider within" short film (which funnily enough is very fucking reminiscent of some sequences in kravens last hunt, not relevant but kinda cool) which also shows how miles responds by self-isolating, similarly to ps5 miles when peter ignores him

the symbiote can exploit his self-doubt pretty easily, the inherent power boost will do most of the heavy lifting to make him feel like hes not good enough without it - what if he runs out of web at the worst moment? what if hes not strong or fast enough to save someone? what if hes caught mid-costume change because hes so used to the suit changing itself? the more valid the (inital) concerns the better imo

the social anxiety is a tricky one but i think if miles traps himself in a doom loop of self-isolation he might spiral into genuine paranoia, which combined w/ the patented symbiote rage could lead him to lash out at people around him. "everyone secretly hates me so im gonna avoid being around people" -> "i feel alienated from everyone i know so im gonna avoid them even harder" -> "am i 'okay'? why would you care? what are you playing at? fuck off and leave me alone" -> "nobody wants to interact w/ me so everyone who does must have ulterior motives and is therefore a threat to me/my family/my city" -> "im completely isolated but bad things are still happening so people must be conspiring against me w/o my knowledge" -> "literally everyone on earth is out to get me and i need to fight them about it"

from there i think the ideal conclusion is pretty self-evident - miles takes a metaphorical leap of faith (calling back to the lesson learned in his origin arc) by actively choosing to trust someone, reach out and ask for help w/ removing the symbiote and dealing with the contemporary big bad (potentially his local peter variant bc hes got experience w/ symbiote removal and it would tie into the "leap of faith" motif but idk)

so tldr: a miles symbiote arc would be different to peters arcs in some (very interesting) key ways - rather than unbridled aggression he could be characterized by intense anxiety, manifesting as paranoid self-isolation and a sense of dependence on the symbiote suit, and would end the arc by reaching out for help in a symbolic leap of faith

#autism will really have you writing essays recreationally huh.#idk im just saying shit if anyone else has ideas or anything to add i would love to hear it!!

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voids-ideas · 5 months

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Hi

Welcome to my main blog which I like to define as chaos

After the "read more" you'll find quite a lot of information, my other blogs, fandoms I write about and/or reblog content from, and a bit more, but before that I want to make one thing clear

I like to debate a lot, and from time to time I might get into a discussion about a social issue, I like this topic a lot, I'm quite interested in learning to see things from different perspectives, I feel that helps me in my mission called "creating a society in my head where nobody suffers".

That's why I possibly read quite questionable comments, and I'm able to put up with almost anything, there's only one rule: You're not going to attack/insult anyone. Especially someone else. If I see something like that in any post of mine, I'm going to block you. That's possibly the only condition under which I plan to directly block someone (that and bots).

As a bonus, if you see anything on this blog or any of my other blogs that makes you feel uncomfortable, please let me know. Send me a message, ask, whatever

Now for the fun part

Tumblr is my dopamine

I love any interaction that happens on any of my accounts, reblogs, messages, likes, asks, if you do any of those things I probably screamed with excitement when I saw it

In the case of asks and messages, there is the possibility that I am slow to respond, I tend to panic in social interactions

Blogs

If you don't know anything about aftg I really ask you to find out about the trigger warning first, but this is my aftg blog: @neiljostenmakesmyday

Good omens obsession here, good omens obsession there: @im-the-j-in-anthony-j-crowley

Helluva boss and Hazbin hotel over here: @mrfancytalkcreepyvoice

Blog where I sometimes share things about disability: @all-the-things-i

And this is my main blog. I define it as: Chaos

Fandoms

Things you may (or may not) see on this blog:

Good omens

Our flag means death

Interview with the vampire

Percy Jackson

Grishaverse

House MD

She-ra and the princesses of power

All for the game

The hunger games

Willow

Heartstopper

Heartbreaking High

Hannibal

Prodigal son

Hazbin Hotel

Helluva Boss

Marvel

Star wars

Nimona

The magnus archives