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deebris · 2 months

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Seems like destiny

Simon "Ghost" Riley x fem!Reader

Synopsis: After spending years in the bone marrow donation system, encouraged by the army, Simon was finally notified that they had found a match. He just didn't expect to find out that he would be donating it to his own son, who he had with his teenage love and never knew.

Warnings: Family problems, panic attacks, teenage pregnancy, swearing, mention of diseases such as leukemia, murder, archaic ideas, anguish.

Word count: 3.5 k

Any questions or errors, please let me know.

Simon always remembers how the army encouraged soldiers to be blood donors. There was a great concern within about it, as it was one of the ways the government found to help hospitals and people who depend on transfusions to survive.

Then campaigns for bone marrow donation began, but it was so rare to find someone compatible that after 6 years on the waiting list, Simon thought he would never find someone who would need him. But that changed two months ago when he received a call from the institute informing him that he should go there immediately.

He underwent more medical exams than he had ever done, and although he was a tough guy, he couldn't deny the pain he felt in the weeks following the procedure. Among so many people dying in beds waiting to find a donor, someone could finally heal because of him. It made Simon feel good about himself, as good as he hadn't felt in a long time. That had been one of the reasons why he joined the army: to help people.

Now he could only hope that whoever he donated to would improve. He found himself during the day thinking about it, wondering if in a few years it would affect him as much as it does now. It's not very fresh in his memory, but Simon is able to superficially remember the day he registered on the bone marrow donor list. He had been in the army for a short time, still a soldier, and "Ghost" didn't even exist yet.

He thought this would be put aside. He didn't understand if he would need to donate more often, not really knowing the process deeply. That's why when he received another call from the same institute, he thought there had been some mistake, or that they would need more, but the reason for the contact surprised him.

The recipient's caregiver wanted to meet him and was willing to break the standard anonymity by revealing their identity. Accepting the offer would mean that he would also need to disclose his personal information, which is why he hesitated so much. But as he constantly replayed the woman's words in his head, he grew restless.

"The caregiver wants to meet you," that's what she said. Could the recipient be a child? Or perhaps an elderly person? Or maybe someone who was already so ill that they could barely decide for themselves. He shouldn't have any information about this person, even something as empty as what that lady had let slip.

"You should accept. Everyone would like to have the opportunity to personally thank the person who saved their life," were the words of his Captain, John "Price." And it had been the push that Simon needed to agree to the idea.

Now, standing in front of the hospital room door, Ghost debated with himself whether he should open it. Just a few meters away was the little boy who had been haunting his mind for the past few days. And how did he know it was a boy? He had been directed to the children's oncology ward when he arrived at the reception minutes ago, as soon as he was cleared by the unit director, who already knew about the situation and the breach of anonymity.

Furthermore, the clipboard with the patient's information on the door also made it clear that it was a boy. The name "Lucas" was printed on the paper, accompanied by a surname that was familiar to him. There weren't many people in the UK with that name, which caught his attention.

All that separated him from the family was that door, dividing the cold hospital corridor from the room he could only hope would be less disheartening and empty. He didn't know if he would find a smile on the other side, or if he would be met with the sad gaze of the child's mother.

This woman had contacted him through a letter. On that day, he hadn't yet notified the institute that he was willing to speak with her, so the letter came anonymously since nothing had been filed. He read what she had to say, revealing some things, such as the fact that she was a single mother and was extremely grateful to God for sending him to save her son. Some paragraphs were difficult to read, where she recounted how she had lost hope before.

The little comfort he found in that text was when she talked about the boy. In those passages, her handwriting was less shaky, and he was sure she was happier when she wrote those parts of the letter. He knew that this had been her attempt to persuade him to come meet her, but without her knowing, he had already decided. Simon kept the piece of paper with him and reread it in his spare moments.

That stirred his emotions. He thought he had managed to harden his heart after everything he had been through, but he was wrong. Deep down in his soul, he was more emotional than he let on to others. He hoped that "Soap" would never find out, or he would be eternally tormented.

"Damn," he muttered softly, snapping back to reality. Simon began to bitterly regret agreeing to this. He should have declined and moved on. He could leave, but he was already here, so he mustered up the courage to knock on the wood.

He considered himself presentable in the civilian clothes he wore, accustomed to the heavy military equipment he carried all day at the base, and also missing the mask covering his face. Simon adjusted the collar of his dress shirt, as a way to occupy his sweaty hands, more nervous about the approaching footsteps he heard than his appearance.

Before the door opened, he had already told himself he would remain silent and wait for the boy's mother to start the conversation. If she asked who he was, he would state his name and explain why was there. But as the woman inside was revealed to him, he fell silent not because he had decided to, but because he was speechless. Suddenly, those seconds he spent admiring the child's surname on the door seemed like a scene from a comedy movie to him. How ironic it is considering he was just thinking about you moments ago and, like magic, you appeared?

It seemed like you took a few extra seconds to recognize him, and he doesn't judge you for that. Although you have changed and are now an adult woman, with a more mature face and body, he had changed much more since he was a teenager. Back when you two were in school, he was shorter and thinner, and he didn't have any of the scars on his face.

But it wasn't just that which changed in him. You stared in complete shock at how different the demeanor of the guy you were in love with was. He was more serious, more intimidating, very different from his brother, Thomas, whom you had seen years ago, just a few days before he was brutally murdered along with his wife and child.

Your legs went weak, and your eyes burned with tears threatening to overflow. You wanted so desperately to say something, but nothing could come out of your mouth. Was this real, after all? You withdrew your hand from the doorknob, not realizing you had been gripping it tightly until now, and sat in the nearest chair to avoid collapsing to the ground.

Your blood pressure had surely dropped, as you were sweating cold and seeing black spots. What were the chances, after so many years and after everything you had been through, of finally finding him just when you weren't even trying anymore?

Your memories since you found out you were pregnant began to flood back. You vividly remember your father's reaction when he found out you were having a baby; what he said when found out that the neighbor's son, Simon, was the father of the child; how you struggled to escape him after he took you away to another state, to cover up the shame of having a "prostitute" as a daughter.

You never managed to tell Simon, and when you returned to that town, the town where you two met, he was no longer there. You didn't have a penny in your pocket and only survived that week because of Tommy's help. He gave you a bed to sleep in, food, and clothes, both for you and his nephew. You remembered the perplexed expression he had when analyzed Lucas's appearance, it was impossible to deny that he was a Riley.

It was because of him that you found out Simon was in the army and that he hadn't come home in months.

You never managed to thank him properly. Just two days after showing up there, Tommy handed you half of the money he had in a bank deposit. He told you that a good part of that money belonged to Simon, and therefore, it belonged to your son too. You rented a hotel room so as not to continue bothering his wife, especially since she now had to cook and clean for five people.

You left for the hotel with the promise to reward him someday and continued making visits while anxiously tried to contact his brother on his phone, but Simon never answered. You didn't have a cell phone and couldn't spend the money Tommy gave you so lightly, deciding to prioritize your son's needs.

Several voicemails were recorded, but there was never a response. You felt angry at Simon. You screamed into your pillow, frustrated for not being answered and repeating to yourself how stupid he was. But the possibility that maybe he was dead haunted you. Tommy had told you how complex his work in the army was, that it was more dangerous than usual.

You always feared what you would find when you saw him again. He could have a wife, a beautiful house, and everything you ever wanted to have with him one day but couldn't. He could have children, children who had the opportunity to grow up with him, unlike Lucas. And then when you found out that no, none of that had happened, a kind of happiness flooded your chest, even though nothing in the world guaranteed that he would want anything with you again. The last time you had anything, you two were barely adults, until one day you left without saying anything. You thought he hated you.

That lasted until one time, when you went to Tommy's house, there was nothing there but blood. You still remember how scared you were when you found the broken door and called the police, who surrounded the scene of the violent crime that had just happened. You waited so long, but so long for Simon to show up. What kind of person doesn't attend their own brother's funeral? That's when you decided to forget him and threw away the phone number you had written down.

Some more time later, when Lucas had just turned 7 years old, your life was turning upside down again. It all started with symptoms of a common virus. He had fevers, weakness, and got tired very easily. Then he started losing weight and getting pale. Many pediatricians said it could be anemia or hepatitis, but more symptoms kept emerging. Joint pains came, as did swellings, and after a year of medical investigation, the diagnosis came: leukemia.

You entered a state of denial. Was there something wrong with his diet? Or his lifestyle? It could be genetic, but there were no cases of cancer in your family. Maybe the Rileys had some?

Since that day, your life has never been the same. With each passing month, your son only got worse. You would give all your savings, live on the streets, or even rob a bank if it meant seeing your baby well again. Fortunately, the government offered treatment for free, but some medicines needed to be acquired more urgently than the hospital could provide, and medicines for such treatment were not cheap at all.

The only thing that could cure your boy was the marrow from a compatible donor. You prayed so much that you could save him, but when the tests were done, it was impossible. If no one in the family could donate, it was almost a death sentence. Your last hope was your father. You hoped to never have to see him again, let alone tell him where you had run away to, but now you were no longer the same foolish young girl who depended on his money.

Despite everything, you knew he loved his grandson, and a single phone call was enough to make him come running. In recent years, he had been worried about the two of you, not knowing where you had gone. He never had the courage to admit he was wrong, and apologizing was never his strong point, but he regrets every day what he did. That day he didn't know how to react. He wanted to kill Simon, the brat who got his only daughter pregnant, just as he was afraid you would become a joke in neighborhood for having such a young son. He only managed to think about leaving to avoid a disaster, never asking what you wanted or how you felt.

For the first time, when he saw you so tired and alone, he held his tongue to not say anything that could ruin everything. Instead, he hugged you tightly, and you were so craving someone's company that you curled up in his arms just like when you were a little girl. He was a grumpy and archaic man, someone who made many mistakes, who still makes them, but he still has humanity within him.

Unfortunately, he was not a match either.

You stopped daydreaming, and you didn't realize how bad you were until you saw an adult Simon crouched in front of you, shouting in the hallway for a doctor, but you tried to silence him by grabbing the nails on his rolled-up shirt sleeve, catching his attention. The last thing you want is for the doctors responsible for your son's health to be alarmed, thinking he's worsened. These professionals worked as hard for him as you did. Simon seemed to understand and went to close the door to prevent curious eyes from appearing.

Simon looked at you with sadness, and it crushed your heart. He was afraid you wouldn't be able to breathe properly again; he knew you were desperately begging for air, but couldn't draw it in. He hesitated to touch you, but gave in to the desire and placed both hands on your cheeks. He was incredulous. It was really you, the girl he loved most in his entire life, more than he thought he was capable of loving another woman. Simon had imagined so many times meeting you again, and he had so many doubts.

"Calm down," he repeated in a whisper, locking his eyes onto yours. He knew panic attacks; he had experienced them himself several times. "I know. I know, dear. It's a lot to process."

"You…" your voice tried to come out amidst desperate breaths, while also trying to swallow the lump in your throat. Your hands grabbed both of his wrists, and your thumb smoothed over the skin, feeling his heartbeat. "It's you who…?"

"Yes. Yes, it's me, the donor," he quickly confirmed, even before you could finish the question. "Don't speak. Breathe."

You were managing to calm down and think more rationally. Understanding hit you like a bucket of cold water, and your embrace made the big burly man he had become freeze. The feeling was so strange. Of course, among so many people, the only one who could save your little son would be his own father. The person with whom he shared half of his genes.

"He's yours, Si," your voice sounded like a spell in his ear, the old nickname sending shivers down his spine. Your tone was so gentle that he barely understood the meaning of the phrase. But soon he felt his lips quivering, recounting the events of the past few months and how unbelievable this would sound if he told this story to someone. "I swear he's yours," you repeated as if that made it easier to assimilate.

The content of that letter invaded his mind again and again. He felt horrible.

Simon pulled you closer to him, your bodies almost merging. You were still beautiful, even in your disheveled state, betraying exhaustion. And even after so much time, it was as if nothing had changed between the two of you. He knew there was a small body behind him, sleeping peacefully in the bed, but he didn't dare to look. He could hear the sound of the machines, and then it all came crashing down on his shoulders at once: he had a son with you. By his calculations, the boy should be 9 years old. Wow! He hadn't seen you in over a decade.

"I have so many questions," he confessed with a choked voice, and you don't remember ever seeing him cry before when you were younger.

"I searched for you so much. I called so many times," the last thing you wanted was to make him feel guilty, but hearing that, he felt like he should have kept searching for you too. As soon as you left, he went asking where your father had gone. He worried and tried to find out something, until enlisted in the army, and then all he did from then on was just think about you; never seeking; never trying in any way to find you again because it seemed easier to accept that you had left forever.

You tried to distance yourself, even though you hated it, to look at his face one more time. Simon allowed you to run your fingers over his features until your eyes landed on your son behind him. He knew where your gaze had gone, but he didn't follow it. And of course, you would understand what was happening.

"Look at him," you pleaded with tenderness, but he shook his head while rubbing his eyes, as if they hurt. "You're hurting me doing this, Simon."

The last thing he wanted was for you to think he was rejecting the boy, so he stood up, fighting the weakness in his legs and slowly approaching the bed. The child's face was turned exactly in his direction, as if anticipating he would be there, but his eyes were closed, and his breathing was peaceful. It was only then that Simon realized how he was hyperventilating until he felt your hand gently pushing him closer.

His heart hammered in his chest, overwhelmed by anxiety and fear, as he watched his pale and still son. Each step was a journey through an ocean of uncertainty, each breath an effort to maintain composure in the face of the storm raging within him.

As he leaned over the fragile and inert body of the boy, a wave of emotions engulfed him. His broken heart cried out to stop the affliction that plagued his son, that beloved being he barely knew.

Tears blurred his vision as he stroked Lucas's hand, so small and vulnerable compared to his, so similar to yours. Each touch was a silent promise to stand by him in every moment, even in the darkest and most painful.

He found himself whispering words of comfort, as if each sentence could ignite a spark of life in his son's dormant soul. He pleaded to the heavens, to the stars, to any higher power that could hear, for a miracle, for a chance to see those childish eyes shine for the first time in his life. He was an identical copy of Simon at that age, and it made him wonder if the color of their irises was also the same, the same shade of brown. A sudden curiosity arose: what was his voice like? Would it sound like yours, so gentle and reassuring, or could it somehow sound like his?

There, in that moment, time seemed to freeze, the whole world disappearing. It was as if he were dreaming. There was no way all of this could be true, someone must be playing a prank on him. He wanted to look at your face again, to smell you while he ran his hands through your hair to make sure it was really you, flesh and blood. "He's going to be okay," he poured out the words, even though he knew the danger in promising that, and you dove into them, knowing you didn't have to face everything alone anymore.

#simon riley #simon riley x reader #simon riley x y/n #simon riley imagine #simon ghost riley x reader #ghost x reader #ghost x you #cod modern warfare #call of duty #imagine #x reader #simon ghost riley #mom reader #mother reader #task force 141 #angst #ghost cod #ghost call of duty #cod mw2

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ineedtorantaboutjiangcheng · 1 year

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Fuck, I'm here again. Goddammit. I've been doing well. I've been keeping Jiang Cheng off my mind (and my computer screen). Things have been peaceful.

And then today happened.

Again, a fic. Again, not naming names, both because that's rude and also because this issue is hardly specific to one fic alone. I've seen it many times.

But I've been pacing for half an hour, too agitated to keep reading, so I'm just gonna get this off my chest, and then skim through the fic 'til it stops talking about it.

I need to talk about the golden core reveal.

Specifically, I need to talk about an attitude I've seen cropping up recently in a lot of fics. (By recently, I don't mean it's only recent fics that do it, just that I've only noticed it recently.)

So it'll be a fic, usually canon divergent, but prior to the golden core reveal. Wen Ning or Wen Qing will often be involved (though I can think of a few times it was Lan Wangji). And the character, who knows the truth about the golden core transfer, will urge Wei Wuxian to tell Jiang Cheng.

They'll say "you have to tell him". They'll say "he'll find out eventually". They'll say "he deserves to know".

And... the fic will support this.

Will frame Wei Wuxian as irrational, paranoid even, to keep it secret.

Will sometimes even punish him, narratively, for his "failure" to disclose such a thing.

And I am... completely baffled.

Where the fuck is this coming from?

I suppose, if I'm being generous, I can kind of see why an individual sympathising with Jiang Cheng might have a knee-jerk reaction to this. If you see them as being essentially family, the idea that a family member that you love deeply, keeping what amounts to both a huge sacrifice and a massive disability from you would be extremely painful. You might feel hurt, that they didn't tell you. Angry, at the implied lack of trust.

I get it, as an emotional response you might have in the moment. I don't find it particularly relatable, but I can follow the thought process.

But like... that's an emotional response. Surely, at some point, logic has to kick in, right?

Because the thing is. Okay, there's two aspects to the secret, right? One, is that a medical procedure was done to Jiang Cheng, sort of like an organ transplant, I suppose, but he wasn't told that the organ was donated by Wei Wuxian. And the other is that Wei Wuxian made this huge sacrifice for Jiang Cheng, and didn't tell him.

But thinking about this for even five minutes should tell you that... neither of those things are actually Wei Wuxian's responsibility to deal with?

The first one is the by far the more common argument I've seen. I've read fics where Wen Ning and Wen Qing are tortured with guilt over having performed the procedure without telling Jiang Cheng all the details. I've even seen people have them blame Wei Wuxian, for demanding they keep it secret, had them secretly resent him for it. He's portrayed as deeply selfish, for keeping the truth of Jiang Cheng's operation from him.

But the thing is... if you're going to apply modern medical ethics to the situation... Wei Wuxian was in the right? They all were?

Under modern medical ethics, you have no right to know the identity of your organ donor. That can feel a little weird (it's probably why people often have a knee-jerk reaction that demands the opposite); after all, it's my body, shouldn't I have a right to know where the organ that goes in it comes from? What if it has cooties?

But according to medical ethics, the donor's right to medical privacy is more protected that the recipient's right to that information. Right to medical privacy is pretty highly valued; it kind of ties into body autonomy, which is kind of the keystone of... most modern ethics. You have a right to control what happens to your body, and that includes controlling whether or not people know about any medical conditions/procedures. So you might have an emotional response, thinking Jiang Cheng is valid for being upset that his golden core came from Wei Wuxian without him knowing, but... ethically, Wei Wuxian has the right to withhold that information.

But! some scarecrow says, If a person has the right to control what procedures happen to their body, surely that means Jiang Cheng has a right to control what happens to his own body! Therefore, the procedure was still unethical, because he didn't know everything!

And I say, well... not really. The reality is, we don't actually know how much Jiang Cheng was told. He was told to walk up a mountain, lie to the person he encountered about his identity, and ask for a golden core. And he left that mountain with said golden core... but we don't know how much Wen Qing told him when he reached the top. We know he believed Wen Qing was the Baoshan Sanren. We know he received a fully developed core, not just the ability to form a new one. Was he told that the core was from someone else? Were there signs of the transfer? Did he know the chance of success/failure? Did he not find any of the situation dubious?

(Did he really spend two and a half years fighting a war alongside, and then running a sect for a year with, someone and not realise they didn't use orthodox cultivation even once?)

The truth is, a doctor is required to inform a patient of risks, and answer any questions they ask. Wen Qing may well have disclosed the risk (if there was any to Jiang Cheng, other than potentially the transfer failing) prior to the surgery, we just don't know. We don't have any evidence that Jiang Cheng asked any questions, and from what we see in the novel, it seems likely that he simply didn't want to know. He got a core, his life was somewhat back on track; we never see any evidence of curiosity or confusion in him as to the specifics of how that happened.

The only lie we are sure that he was told was the identity of the person who he met on the mountain, who "gave" him the core. I could be petty and point out that as he was also lying about his identity, it kind of cancels out, but that would be a bit ridiculous, and unnecessary besides. The truth is, ethically, Wen Qing could have knocked him out and performed the surgery from the comfort of her own office. Because one of, if not the main reason you can ethically violate someone's body autonomy... is to save a life. And Jiang Cheng, after losing first his family and sect, and then his golden core, displayed clear suicidal ideation. He indicated, repeatedly, that he wanted to die. He refused food. Wei Wuxian even doubled checked, before giving him hope of getting a new core, that he was serious! (Rereading that scene is horrible; Wei Wuxian's dread, and eventual resignation/resolve becomes very apparent once you know what's happening).

The characters around him, including a trained doctor, believed that if he didn't get a new core, he would give up and die. Under those circumstances, a doctor has authority to make medical decisions, without a patients consent, if they believe it is a medical emergency. Wen Qing was an unquestionably brilliant doctor; if she believed doing the surgery was the right/necessary decision, who the hell are we to dispute her?

So, to be clear, under modern medical ethics (which seems to be what is being applied in these claims), Wen Qing has the right to do whatever surgery she feels necessary to save the life of her patient, no consent needed, and Wei Wuxian has the right to keep his identity as the donor a secret, since that's his own private medical history. Modern medical ethics (a bit ridiculous, when talking about magic powers, but I've seen the argument) supports our protagonist.

Now, onto the other thing. This is a lot less... ethics discussion and a lot more feels-bad-so-wrong type thing. Wei Wuxian kept the loss of his golden core a secret.

Jiang Cheng being upset by this is understandable. Like I said, I can follow the emotion/logic. Someone keeping a big secret from you can be hurtful.

But just because it's hurtful to you, doesn't mean they're in the wrong to do it!

If someone I cared about kept a massive secret from me, and I found out, I'd be upset! But my first thought would be 'Why did they feel they couldn't tell me?' And the answer here is obvious; Wei Wuxian didn't think he could tell Jiang Cheng because he knew he'd be horrible about it! Wei Wuxian admits, after the reveal, that the process of losing his core was distressing, and that he wasn't as okay with it as he pretended to be. If something like that happens to you (not... that it can, but, you know, equivalent), and you're struggling to hold it together, the last thing you want is someone you care about yelling at you about it, insulting you, making you feel bad for what happened!

Wei Wuxian didn't tell Jiang Cheng because he knew Jiang Cheng would be awful to him because of it. Jiang Cheng's jealousy when they were young was something Wei Wuxian felt he had to manage*, and he knew Jiang Cheng would feel inadequate if he realised his accomplishments were made with Wei Wuxian's core. And he would then lash out at Wei Wuxian for it, at a time when Wei Wuxian was already feeling emotionally fragile. Hell, nearly twenty years later, Jiang Cheng getting up in his face was enough to cause a Qi deviation; I can't imagine it would have been better any sooner!

No one wants to think of the people they love keeping secrets from them. And sometimes, people who keep secrets are doing it for their own sake, because they're scared, or unsure, or guilty, or whatever. But sometimes, when a person keeps a secret, the reason is not internal. If someone acts horribly to you when you tell them things, you're going to stop telling them things. And the person responsible for that gap in communication is them; all you're doing is protecting yourself.

And before anyone thinks that I'm assigning reasoning to Wei Wuxian that he doesn't have; he essentially admits it. After the reveal, Wei Wuxian states that he knew Jiang Cheng would react badly (though he didn't expect it to be quite so bad). Wei Wuxian is shown to have been managing Jiang Cheng's moods since they were young**, it's probably not the first secret he's kept. But that's kind of just... how that works; if a king kills every person who brings him bad news, eventually, all his advisors will only ever bring him good news. And he has no one to blame when his kingdom falls but himself.

SO. tl;dr. Modern medical ethics supports Wen Qing performing the golden core transfer, and Wei Wuxian keeping his identity as the donor a secret. Jiang Cheng can be upset at Wei Wuxian for not telling him that he no longer has a core, but it's not unethical, or selfish, and the nature of their relationship, with Jiang Cheng lashing out with impunity and Wei Wuxian trying to manage his moods, meant that secrets like that were pretty much inevitable. Unhealthy relationships are unhealthy. Truly, newsworthy take.

And one final note, on Wei Wuxian keeping secrets from Jiang Cheng and being portrayed as selfish for doing so; I have yet to see a. single. fic. that says Wei Wuxian keeping his sacrifice secret is wrong, but then goes on hold Jiang Cheng equally accountable for keeping his sacrifice secret. Not. One. Jiang Cheng often tells Wei Wuxian afterwards, that he deliberately got the Wens attention, but he's never framed as selfish for keeping that secret. Not. Once.

* see post-Xuanwu argument, when Wei Wuxian drags himself out of his sick bed, having just woken up from a coma, to reassure Jiang Cheng that he's no threat to his birthright. Because Jiang Cheng was jealous that his father acknowledged Wei Wuxian's skill in surviving, under horrendous circumstances. -_-

** childhood flashback; after arriving in a new place, having a massive change in lifestyle and meeting many new people (and, it seems, trying to make a good impression), Wei Wuxian took the blame for his broken leg, despite it being because Jiang Cheng locked him out of his room and threatened to sic dogs on him. Entirely because he knew one of them would get blamed, and he wanted to keep Jiang Cheng happy. People who grow up with aggressive/abusive family/people around often end up learning to juggle mood changes.

#mdzs #mo dao zu shi #canon jiang cheng #urgh #i didn't mean for this to be so long #or so lecture-y #look i just feel very strongly about body autonomy #and the ethics around privacy #so i get really really angry when people act like wwx was in the wrong here #you have a right to medical privacy!#its IMPORTANT #(but also sorry)

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barkhoffman · 3 months

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rest in peace tumblr user barkhoffman 🕊🕊

I'm gonna use this ask I got to springboard an explanation as to why I've gone silent and stopped updating, so! here it is! the Discourse no one asked for!

it was brought to my attention recently that some people on twitter (a site which I no longer use and have not used for years because it is a cesspool) have been vaguing/insulting SLAP, which! sure! fine, that's your right! not everyone has to like what I create, I don't mind that at all! that's not why I vanished, though.

my issue with these "criticisms" is that they ended up insulting who I am as a person. accusations of fatphobia, transphobia, and ableism (among other things) have been leveled at me, and that's where I personally draw the line.

you don't have to like me. you don't have to like what I write. but when you call my moral character into question, I get a little bothered.

an example: some of the accusations include calling me transphobic for using the word "vagina" to refer to a transmasc character's genitals. for those of you who don't know (not that I should have to disclose this information), I am not cis. trans people are not, in fact, a hivemind, and the idea that we should all be ashamed or uncomfortable or whatever the fuck with our anatomy unless we couch it in different terms is actually rather more transphobic than using a medically accurate term to refer to a person's genitals during a smut scene -- a scene which is written from the third-person limited perspective of a 48-year-old cis man who is unfamiliar with transgender issues, so even if it WAS universally offensive to call a vagina a vagina, it would still be in-character.

the thing is, in-character observations, speech, and thoughts are not actually a universal indicator of the author's identity or beliefs. things that you dislike or that make you feel uncomfortable are not automatically morally impure, and you don't have to reach for reasons to say the creator is a bigot because you don't agree with how they portrayed things.

(there's also something to be said about the inherent colonialist racism in the transmed viewpoints that lend to "transmascs shouldn't ever have vagina used to refer to their genitals," dismissing nonwhite cultures with a rich history of third/other genders and gender euphoria. DYSphoria is not the only trans experience. furthermore, calling the word vagina "female-gendered" is a slap in the face to all of us who are NOT female who have no problem referring to our genitals in that way. idk man, are the arguably more gendered terms "pussy" and "cunt" REALLY more appropriate here? should I have used "bonus hole" instead? not sure what the solution is supposed to be.

anyway.)

I could go on and on and get into every little accusation thrown at me and how insulting and ridiculous they are, but I don't want to invite that level of discourse. this is bad enough. it is absolutely batshit bonkers that I, as a nearly 30 year old person, am sitting here typing this right now. it is even more wild to me that at least some of the people involved in this drama are apparently in their 30s as well.

listen to me. look me in the eyes. if those of you who have a problem with my fics expended even half that energy into helping actual real life people instead of defending the nonexistent honor of fictional ones, the world might actually get better.

I know, I know. it feels good to vague on twitter and pretend you're doing activism when you're trashing a small creator's work in a way that's very likely to get back to them. it feels nice to know you've "saved the world from some evil" when you discourage people like me from continuing their projects. it feels like you're making a difference, right?

unfortunately, you are not. I would advise those of you involved in all this to get well soon and mature a little bit past wrongly deducing someone's viewpoints via the fictional works that they create. there are happier and more productive ways to spend your time, I swear.

I'm not mad, honestly. I'm just sort of tired. tired of getting messages asking where I am and what happened. tired of feeling like I have all this bottled up inside. tired of fandoms that would rather stoke fake moral outrage like Republicans than, idk, go to a protest or give a homeless person a dollar or defend POC from your racist uncle at the neighborhood barbecue.

I don't think we as an internet "society" really understand the mental toll it can take on someone to be called things like fatphobic, ableist, and transphobic -- particularly when, in my case, I am fat, disabled, and trans. of course, being a member of a group doesn't absolve you from bigotry against that group. however, when these accusations are leveled based entirely on someone's body of work and not on their actual character, it makes us far less likely to create works, what with the likelihood that they'll continue to be looked at in bad faith by those who have some sort of weird moral high ground point to prove.

I really didn't want to have to post about this and bring the people who like my work down, but I think you guys are owed an explanation rather than silence. not sure if I'll post anything after this, because I'm really too old to be engaging in internet slapfights over torture porn movie fanfics, of all things (I guess I really spoke too soon when I called this fandom nice, drama-free, and welcoming). if my ask box gets too messy, I'll turn it off. idk. just wanted you guys to know where I've gone.

now stop telling everyone I'm dead

#I don't think I'll tag this as anything much bc I'm not that bad of an attention ho #but #for my ocd's sake #ask tag #anonymous

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blueraspberrycoke · 7 months

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Best college research is in USA cost vs degree use which has a list of schools, this gives you the best loan for degree cost of the degree is the goal. Look at that and the subject then online at the best cross matches. Unless you want a social experience mostly then whatever vibes. Listen you know anti-trans bigotry like in your about has NO ethical point in feminism, it's just bigotry.

Thank you for the advice on college :)

I'm not a bigot. I'm not anti-trans. I don't think trans people are inherently evil. But I do not believe you can change your biological sex. I do not believe allowing trans women into women's sports, changing rooms, sexualities (lesbians being pressured to date trans women), etc. is good for women and girls. It's not just a belief I have, it's factually proven to be dangerous to put TW in women's prisons (1, 2, 3, 4, 5) and in bathrooms (1, 2, 3, 4, 5 [5 is written by a trans woman]).

I'm not saying I hate trans people or that I don't trust them or that teens/children who identify as transgender are "broken" or "wrong" like people have said I do. I think we have manipulated an entire generation of lesbians and homosexual boys (though not all trans-identified people are homosexual/bisexual) into believing they have to be the opposite sex. We've lied to dysphoric teens and told them they're going to die if they don't recieve gender-affirming care (see all the posts on the protecttranskids, transgenocide, transrights etc. hashtags).

This is also evident in that anytime you question someone who says trans people are experiencing a genocide, especially a younger person (like a teenager who gets all their information from Instagram and TikTok) they actually can't come up with a single example. Even when they bring up the so-called "anti-trans legislature" being passed in the United States, they can't name any specific bans, because that actually does not exist. What I linked for you is HB1276, which, if you read it, allows minors who underwent sexual reassignment surgery to sue their doctors up to 30 years after they turn 18 for malpractice if they regret surgery. Trans Legislation Tracker labels this an "anti-trans" bill.

They have reason to regret it, too. Lupron, the drug administered in FtM transition to dysphoric females, has painful and sometimes deadly side effects that gender-affirming medical clinics will not disclose with you in full. (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)

Also, a disproportionate amount of FtM females are autistic, homosexual, and depressed. I care especially about these women because I'm eighteen, autistic, and a lesbian, so I really resonate with their pain and struggle. I'm not disgusted by transgender individuals and I'm not angry with them. I feel terrible for them. And I want to help.

What I think we have in the world now is an extreme lack of education. It's harming girls and women my age, when there are more affordable and better options. We've known for a long time doctors will push medicines that don't work/shouldn't be as expensive as they are in order to make money (I'm talking about things like selling insulin for $500 a vial. I'm not talking about things like vaccines.).

If you want to change your name and use other pronouns, cool, fine, whatever. I don't care what you do with your life, your money, and your time. But don't call yourself male or female when you're not. See my pinned post for why doing so harms women and men.

Transgenderism is motivated by misogyny. Go to any of the subreddits created for TW (r/Egg_irl, r/MtF, r/transgender [though that one contains trans men also]) and you'll see in every "How I knew I was trans" post that these people consider being female synonymous with being feminine, and it isn't. I'm not feminine. Does that make me a man? No. It just makes me a nonfeminine woman.

I'm not denying the existence of gender dysphoria. Many of my mutuals are desisted females who still struggle with it. But hormone therapy/SRS (sexual reassignment surgery) are very clearly not the answer. I hope this helps you understand my position better. I also hope I've not come across as condescending or patronizing in any way.

#mine #radblr #radfem #radical feminism #terfsafe #terf #actually autistic #transgender #trans #detrans #desist #detransition #feminism #wlw

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carmillatism · 4 months

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Hey I understand wanting to share your medical stuff for special interest reasons, but you shouldn't have all of that on a public website, that is incredibly dangerous, especially since you're a minor. You also shouldn't be recommending medications for the same reasons

i do want to know why it is exactly dangerous. it really doesn't help the fact that you're an anon i do not know telling me it's dangerous to talk about conditions i live with, especially when we're on tumblr where people talk about this shit. i don't know you, and you do not know me. i would say thank you for your concern, but if you were truly concerned, i think you'd take this up with me in dms on your personal account and actually explain your reasoning to me. i don't talk about this just for special interest reasons. my disabilities aren't my special interest; medical science in general is my special interest. i talk about my own disabilities to find community with other people; that is not an absurd thing to do online, and i don't see how that would put me in harm's way when i'm not disclosing specific traumas, revealing information, or identification. my recommendation of any type of medical advice is fully disclaimed with the fact that i am not a professional, and it is simply based on my own experiences so that i may possibly help someone else. sorry to get mad about this, but i'm not open to taking personal advice that i have not asked for from someone who has gone out of their way to not tell me who they are; you can see how this puts me at a disadvantage and can make me feel shitry simply for existing the way i do on the internet, right? if you are legitimately concerned, please dm me on an account that discloses who you are and actually give me decent information i can work with instead of accusing me of not knowing what i'm doing, putting myself in harm's way, and implying i spread misinformation. u can use anon again if you feel it impertinent to not have your identity known, but i do prefer you privately speak with me about something that concerns you about me (which again, ido not know you). thanks.

#nas answers #i'm not saying you hate disabled people but this entire ask is sort of absurd to me #unsure if you have been on the internet before anon #also if your like an adult saying this shit to me #can you see how that comes off as it's own form of manipulation your seeming to go against?#really my biggest problem with an ask like this being anonymous #i am not on even playing fields with you as you tell me i am putting myself in harm's way. okay? who are you to me anyway #the hatemail i received about ofmd was less absurd than this

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sysmedsaresexist · 1 year

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Maybe its bad on my part but im native, trans, bi, afab and disabled... Ill never get an actual diagnosis just because of one of those but all 5? No way and tbh... I dont think it'll do me any good other than give me another hurdle when it comes to getting gender affirming care or adopting or even getting treated like an adult. Me and my system are ok and i dont experience distress from my system enough to think i need psychological help.

Idk if i can handle some white ass cishet abled doctor walking up and saying i dont have it and gaslighting me.

I hope this dosent conceded cause thats not my intention but even though im anti-endo, i get their distrust in the medical system and why diagnosis is something many wont persue. 1 because many of them know the doctor will diagnosis them correctly(as having trauma or having something different) and 2 because american doctors are not a safe place like... Ever. If your not a cishet abled white man.

So, a lot to cover here.

I'm white, afab, trans, bi, with multiple partners. I was diagnosed at about 21, and I've been in and out of therapy ever since. I'm also Canadian. Getting diagnosed was the best thing to ever happen for me, and I have several friends with the same experience.

And several who had bad experiences.

My experience will not be everyone's.

I am not pushing for anyone to get diagnosed. Doing so is a personal choice, and a decision that should be made by you, and your therapist if you have one. There are many reasons someone might get diagnosed (access to resources and specific care, financial support, etc) and just as many reasons someone might not want to get diagnosed. You also don't need a diagnosis to get the help you need.

What I DO want to people to hear is: whatever decision you make, do it with the REAL facts.

If you're going to choose not to get diagnosed, don't do it based on bullshit you see or hear on the internet. I made a post several months ago about someone going around saying that a diagnosis will stop you from getting housing, a job, and being able to buy alcohol, of all things, as if you have to present your mental papers to the cashier.

None of those are true. Gender affirming care also can be still be given and received, with an added step of a psychiatric evaluation (which is mandatory in Canada anyways for everyone, regardless of mental health, so if you think about it, you're not really losing anything). You can still adopt and have a family. You can own a home and have a job.

If you take anything away from my blog, it should be this:

Know your rights, and know how to exercise them

There are assholes everywhere, I'm not denying that. There are people who will bend rules and laws and who will use personal information (like diagnoses) against you. I'm not blaming anyone who has had this happen to them, either, as if they should have preemptively known better. No, that's not it at all.

Being aware that it happens, though, know that you have rights-- you're protected by employment, privacy, and human rights laws (yes, even in America, I debunk more American myths than Canadian). You do not need to disclose for work, except for positions in the military, certain healthcare positions, and when working with vulnerable sectors, and even in those cases, not always, and it can't affect their decision to hire you. You don't need to disclose for housing. You don't need to tell anyone anything, and you shouldn't, unless you need reasonable accommodations, and once they have that information, it can't be used against you. Don't let them. Easier said than done, I know, I've let things slide myself that, looking back, I wish I hadn't. Sometimes it's just easier, even if it's not right.

Point is, when in doubt, question everything. Do your own research, find your own answers, look for sources, question facts you see that aren't cited.

When you make decisions for yourself, be certain you're making it for the right reasons, and with the right information.

#syscourse

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intersex-support · 2 years

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hi - I'm trying to figure out if it makes sense for me to identify as intersex. My diagnosis is septate hymen, which is a minor genital variation that about 1/1000 AFAB people have. I've experienced medical trauma including pressure to get a genital surgery I don't want as an adult, and I don't disclose this diagnosis to healthcare providers in unrelated situations (eg psychiatry or blood donation) because of fear of discrimination/mistreatment/it being a whole thing. At the same time, I don't want to self describe as intersex inaccurately, disrespectfully, or in ways that are harmful to intersex people. Advice?

Hi anon, we talked this over in the mod chat and our consensus was that this is not an intersex issue, we answered a very similar ask a long time ago that you can find here.

While this doesn't seem to specifically be an intersex issue, that doesn't mean that you shouldn't have the right to informed and respectful medical care. I'm really sorry that you have had to and still go through medical trauma, and I can really emphasize with the medical pressure experience.

There's nothing wrong with relating to and feeling similarities to the intersex experience, but I think it would be more beneficial for you to come at this from a reproductive justice or disability justice lens, instead of an intersex-specific one.

#mod stev #i dont have much advise but someone else might #this is an older ask so I hope I didn't answer too late

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nathank77 · 2 months

Text

3/20/24

9:57 p.m

So I've been scrambling trying to get my medical card. I had to get my therapist to contact the place cause I stupidly told them I have psychosis... and the verdict is they won't give me my card. I can go anywhere else in ct and just ommit it. So I called around got an appt.. I left a bad review at the place that discriminated against me bc now I'm labeled as a drooling lunatic..

I met with Mike and Erin texted me... Erin is a close personal friend of the owner of the business she was telling me indirectly that I should take down the review cause it hurts her relationship with this person... Erin is such an important piece to the Kristen Report and also big picture I don't want to damage Erin's relationship with the owner.. so I decided to take down the review.

I'm pissed cause I have been dehumanized, and labeled since getting psychosis. Blockade after blockade. I won't treat your insomnia and you can suffer with permanent black hairy tongue bc you won't go on antipsychotics.

I've been turned away from 4 separate providers including this medical marijuana place. I have been stigmatized. Which is why once the report is submitted and the investigation ends I guess I'll be truthful about having auditory hallucinations but then I'm going to make a miraculous recovery so my insomnia gets treated as a separate issue....

The fucked part is, I don't stigmatize myself. I don't see myself differently. I don't look at myself as psychotic. I see myself as an overly functional person, who suffers from auditory hallucinations. Mike even said you're functionality has so drastically improved from even before you got psychosis and I agree... that's what makes this stigma so fucked. I'm legit being dehumanized, stigmatized, and looked at as, "psychotic," just bc I have psychosis. And now I have to keep this label until the report is submitted and until the investigation gets completed so I can then be viewed as a normal human being again.

It's fucked that once the investigation ends I have to lie to be treated as human. I'm clenching my jaw I'm so mad about having to take down the review. I'm so mad about having to tell people I recovered to not be stigmatized, and dehumanized.

The problem isn't new medical providers, I can ommit it. I understand hippa.... but the issue is my doctor at prohealth mostly. So then she looks at insomnia as a separate issue... she treats me good but she wants me to go to a psychiatrist so badly so it isn't her problem and I can be forced on antipsychotics to get benzos to sleep... which is why I chose black hairy tongue. We will see what happens at that appt.

Anyways I wrote this whole review, for nothing. And I want to share it cause I'm clenching my jaw I'm so mad that I can't post it without potentially losing Erin's support and I really need it for Kristen. And in general. It's more about the big picture tbh...

Also mike brought up a very good point. I shouldn't get my card until after the investigation ends... as they may be able to see I'm a medical marijuana patient and therefore, they may not take my claim as seriously. So that's just another indirect way psychosis is putting a blockade in front of me...

Here is the review:

"To try to be brief, I talked to two people in this office they were both nice but I disclosed I had psychosis. They made me jump through hoops by forcing me to release my information. I agreed and had my therapist contact them. This was a 3 week process for me. I did tell the owner I wouldn't submit a complaint but tbh I was completely discriminated against and stigmatized. Once my therapist talked to the owner, and I called they told me they don't feel comfortable letting me receive my card. To be brief, ptsd has auditory hallucinations, I suffer from only auditory hallucinations... PTSD is a qualified diagnosis to receive your card...

I jumped through hoops wasting my time just to be told they won't give me my card at the moment bc of psychosis. I disclosed my auditory hallucinations have been resolved and they still weren't willing to see me. She said I could be seen to buy CBD products through them. That's why I am seeking my medical card however I am on a fixed income and my card, removes taxes and beyond that bc I am on a fixed income I get a percentage off any items I buy at my dispensary. I explained this in great detail. I need the money saving options that having my card provides me with.

To conclude this review I wanted potential patients to know wholeheartedly, if you say the words psychosis or auditory hallucination, you will be inherently discriminated against. When I called back in feb, they should have told me there was no way they'd qualify me and I wouldn't have wasted all this time. So if you say those words fully expect to have your time wasted. I've faced so much discrimination from health care providers since admiting that I have auditory hallucinations. I've heard I won't treat you unless you take antipsychotics or I simply won't treat you at least 4 separate times from health care providers including this place.

Psychosis/auditory hallucinations marks you as a danger to society and marks you as being incoherent. All people including health care providers, treat you like you've lost your grip on reality.

If you say psychosis or auditory hallucination, you are therefore stigmatized. So what I've learned from this is to occlude this from my information. I called many medical marijuana places following this and I already got an appt and I don't have to jump through a single hoop in order to get my card. Yet I'm positive if I brought up those words all of these other providers would also discriminate against me. So my best word of advice is either don't go here or occlude it, as with PTSD, auditory hallucinations is a symptom. For all I know since this was my only symptom it was a symptom of PTSD.

Either way, despite them being nice and jolly, I was truly discriminated against. I was also offered to pay for high quality CBD products from this place as if I would offer them money after I wasted 3 weeks jumping through hoops. Also as stated above I don't have to pay taxes and I get 10% off at my dispensary. I don't want high grade CBD. I just want to dose myself with 15mg a day and save money.

To sum this up, I'm sick of being stigmatized and discriminated against because of the simple fact that I had auditory hallucinations. This review may not be helpful to most people but if you're like me, they will tell you they won't help you. And I wanted to help other people like me by posting this as the stigma and discrimination people like me face from all people, especially health care professionals is really depressing in 2024 when at this point mental health awareness should be a thing. I told her I wasn't even going to buy THC and of course she didn't trust me. The place that qualified me last year before I started hallucinating is not liable for my auditory hallucination.. I would never take action against them legally or even blame them.

My point is, there is a stigma against psychosis and auditory hallucinations and it's really depressing that this is the way I get treated by many medical professionals."

So yea this ends my rant. Now I got to sit with this feeling, I've been feeling it for a while but every time the blockade gets put in front of me, it makes me feel like people don't see me as human

It makes me feel like i am now a label. It makes me feel like I am viewed as an incoherent drooling lunatic who is officially, "psychotic."

Im not any of those things. The mental health stigma follows me and I can't wait to put this all behind me once I submit the report and the investigation ends. Even though- that part makes me mad too. I'm infuriated doctors won't look at anything ad a separate concern from psychosis.

Having to lie actually makes me just as mad. Maybe even more. Either way this is what it feels like to be labeled.

I'm trans for christ sake and that's a label. You get treated differently.... but- nothing can compare to being labeled at, "psychotic."

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letustalkstds · 10 months

Text

Would you date someone with herpes?

Although I shouldn't have to justify myself, I feel like I need to provide some context because of the negative stigma around herpes. My ex-boyfriend didn't tell me he had herpes until about a month after I moved in with him. At the time, I felt like I didn't have many options and was also deeply in love with him, so I made the foolish decision to stay with him even though he had kept this information from me for over a year. He promised me marriage if I stayed, among other things. Long story short, he was reckless and irresponsible, and now I have herpes too.

I'm sharing this not to deny my own promiscuity, but to show that you can be in a relationship, take precautions, and still contract herpes. So please, don't judge anyone just because you hear the word "herpes."

The truth is, I trusted someone I shouldn't have, and now I have to live with the consequences for the rest of my life.

Since I started dating again, I've promised myself that I won't make the same mistakes my ex did. If there's a potential for things to become physical with someone, I always disclose my condition. I try to give as much information as possible without overwhelming the person. For example, I take suppressant medication, which theoretically halves the risk of transmission. I'm open to pursuing any other methods that can lower the risk to my partner, but the risk, however small, will always be there. At the end of the day, herpes is just a cold sore in an unfortunate place.

Typically, people with weakened immune systems are most affected by the virus. However, as someone with a weak immune system, I rarely get outbreaks. I haven't had one since January 2021, even though I was diagnosed in September 2020. In fact, most people don't realize they have herpes because they don't show symptoms, and it's not screened for during standard sexual health checks. My local GUM clinic advised me against taking suppressant medication because of the small number of outbreaks I've had since being diagnosed. They told me not to worry because supposedly 1 in 4 people have some form of herpes. They also said that I'm much better informed about how the virus can be transmitted than those who don't know they have it.

The sad truth is that the worst part about herpes is the stigma. In terms of my general health, it doesn't really affect me. So far, the responses I've received have been mixed. Some people have politely declined but appreciated my honesty and responsibility. Others have said things like, "I'm worth the risk" and want to pursue a relationship with me.

To conclude, if someone you were interested in revealed all the information I've shared here, would you still want to pursue a relationship or sexual encounter with them?

#herpes simplex virus #dating with herpes #genital herpes #dating people with herpes #herpes support #hope #women with herpes #i have herpes #hsv2 #hsv dating #hsv singles

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nothing-wrong-with-me · 1 year

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You can think abortion is bad and still be pro-choice, because you know there are exceptions for abortions and to make sure those exceptions get the care they need you need to make abortion available for everyone.

Also people shouldn't have to disclose their private medical information to not be harassed about abortions.

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sheryllsblog · 2 years

Text

What Happens if You Lie on Your Life Insurance Application?

A person might have several reasons for not being entirely truthful when applying for life insurance, but it often boils down to cost and coverage. For instance, they want to pay a lower premium, or they worry that they won't be covered if they disclose certain information, such as a medical condition or tobacco use.

Lying to a life insurer can come at a hefty price, though. The insurer may not issue a payout if it discovers you lied on your application. An insurer also might decline your application or even cancel your policy if it finds out you provided false information.

Why Do People Lie on Life Insurance Applications?

Lying on life insurance applications is more common than you might think. A 2020 survey by Finder.com indicated that 14.7% of American adults admitted lying on an insurance application.

So, why do people lie on life insurance applications? The reasons for lying frequently revolve around health status.

For example, someone might lie about their smoking habit in hopes of scoring a lower premium. Life insurers often charge higher premiums for tobacco smokers, tobacco chewers and those who vape or use similar products because they're taking on a greater risk by insuring someone who engages in unhealthy behavior. Life insurers also may take cannabis use into account when reviewing an application.

Someone also might lie about a parent having had heart disease or cancer in order to qualify for life insurance coverage.

Other lies that might lead to trouble with a life insurer include:

Inflating your income to qualify for a higher payout amount

Being dishonest about drug use

Lying about a drunk driving conviction

Not being upfront about a depression diagnosis

Not disclosing a previous serious illness

Consequences of Lying on a Life Insurance Application

The potential consequences of lying on a life insurance application range from relatively minor to serious. They include:

Being asked by the insurance company to revise the section of the application that's being questioned

Having the application rejected

Being hit with higher insurance premiums

Having the policy canceled

Winding up with a lower payout than expected for a claim

Having a claim denied if false information is discovered within the first two years of the policy being issued (known as a contestability period)

Being sued for fraud over a claim that was filed after the two-year contestability period ends (If the life insurance company can't prove alleged fraud tied to a claim submitted after the two-year period, then it likely will be forced to pay the claim)

When an Insurer May Discover You Lied

A lie told on an application may crop up during the underwriting process when an insurer determines whether you're insurable and how much your coverage will cost; after a policy has been written; or after the policyholder has died and their beneficiaries are seeking a payout.

Many life insurers require a medical exam before approving someone's application for coverage, and the exam could uncover a lie on an application. (It's worth noting that some life insurers offer non-exam coverage.)

Omitting or Fudging Information on the Application

A lie on an application also may come in the form of omitting or fudging information. If you unintentionally lie on an application, it might not be a big issue. But if you intentionally lie on an application, the life insurer may view this as fraud and may end up rejecting your application.

Minor omissions of fact typically don't affect an application. Similarly, supplying wrong information, such as an incorrect address, shouldn't cause a problem. However, something as seemingly innocent as providing a lower weight or lower age might prompt an insurer to void your policy or may result in a reduced payout.

Lying on the Application

A serious lie on an application also may come to light after a policy is issued. Within the first two years of coverage, a life insurer can contest any information you supplied that they now believe is false.

Later on, a lie on an application might trip up a claim filed by the policyholder's beneficiaries. If, for instance, the policyholder had diabetes but failed to disclose that on their application, the insurance company may deny the claim or may reduce the payout amount, particularly if the cause of death was related to the false information. Furthermore, the insurer might file a fraud lawsuit against the policyholder's estate.

What if Your Circumstances Change After Buying a Life Insurance Policy?

Ordinarily, your policy will remain intact even if your circumstances change after buying life insurance. If, for instance, you take up a risky hobby like skydiving or start smoking cigarettes after purchasing the policy, your coverage shouldn't be affected. Why? Because the policy weighs your lifestyle factors at the time coverage is issued and not any subsequent lifestyle changes.

The Bottom Line

You've probably heard the old saying that "Honesty is the best policy." Well, that saying definitely applies to filling out a life insurance application. Being honest about all of your personal information can give you a better chance of qualifying for a policy—and of your beneficiaries receiving a payout after you pass away.

Credits : John Egan

Date : April 15, 2022

Source : https://www.experian.com/blogs/ask-experian/what-happens-if-you-lie-on-life-insurance-application/

#areteautomation #lifehealthadvisors #foryou #mindpower

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masha-russia · 2 years

Note

Trimetazadine AND hypoxen AND L-Carantine. Looks like poor child is only allowed to drink her grandfather's glass and nobody in the family has heard about washing the dishes. If you are buying this story, I have some bridges to sell.

Firstly, she has the right to take all the drugs in the world, freely, as long as they are allowed. Your "hypoxen and L-carantine" line isn't clever and just shows your ignorance and naivety, no offense. If you think professional athletes do not take medical supplements, you are in for a rough awakening. All, absolutely all of the them, in every sports field, take vitamins and other chemical substances to maintain the body. You cannot be a professional athlete (meaning you spend your life over-training your body for the sake of being the best at a particular physical activity than the rest of humanity) without sports nutrition. What legal supplements Kamila took is irrelevant to her case, because they are allowed. The problem is only with the forbidden substance. That news was thrown by New York Times only to steer the drama more and make gullible people think Kamila was built on drugs, and you fell for it ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Secondly, the glass story is not official. Even the grandfather story is not official yet, WADA's director stated that the person who shared this information was not present at the hearing. And by the way, you should know that the "protected person" status means that the details of the doping case shouldn't be made public in order to protect the child. Which was hardly respected here, mind you. The leakers, if you can call them that, can be sued for disclosing information.

And the story of living with a grandpa who is taking a particular medicine is much more believable to me than "I had sex the night before that's why I tested positive" anyway.

#her Swiss team seems to be made of top tier level lawyers so I do hope they sue #kamila valieva #figure skating #american news sites and their click bait journalism is annoying #i am waiting for the investigation to conclude to know how the drug got into her body

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transgenderteensurvivalguide · 3 years

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hi!! semi-urgent. I'm in college and almost 100% stealth (only out to my roommate and a professor or two) but I'm getting top surgery (ftm) near the beginning of this semester. i'm taking the necessary time off but I know my mobility will be limited/different for weeks or months after, and i know people will ask questions. is there a surgery that has similar affects that i could say I got that's not super serious but would still explain the mobility issue? and please don't say that it's none of their business and they shouldn't be asking, because not answering just raises more suspicion and i need to tell my professors/student life office something, and i really don't want to need to out myself because i got a surgery that's supposed to help me be stealth. thank u!!

Lee says:

If you need to tell your professors and your student life office something to explain the reason why you need two weeks off from classes, you could tell them that you’re getting a similar surgery.

Gynecomastia surgeries can involve liposuction and/or excision just like trans top surgeries, and therefore leaves similar scars. Gynecomastia is always a good excuse because it isn’t a serious medical issue or disability which would be kind of ethically questionable to fake. And it’s similar enough to the surgery you really are getting, so you won’t be asked questions that you don’t know how to answer (which is the danger of straight-up lying). And it’ll explain any visible scarring you may have once you’re healed, although that wouldn’t be an issue with your professors because they don’t see you shirtless.

Or you could talk to the disability services office and see if you can get a generic “medical time off” note to provide to them for privacy reasons. Getting academic accommodations like time off for mental health/disability/surgery/etc typically require you to disclose to their office what the disability is, but then they don’t tell the professor because it’s your private health information.

In general, if your professors get the note and ask why you need 2 weeks off then saying “I don’t feel comfortable discussing my health issues but I appreciate your concern and I want you to know that I’m going to be okay” or “I’d rather not talk about it, but I really appreciate your understanding about helping me find a way to make up any missed classes!” wouldn’t immediately make your professors think that you’re trans because there’s a lot of health and mental health issues someone can have and people often don’t want to discuss it because it’s stigmatized/embarrassing/private/etc, especially when it’s gastrointestinal related or mental health related. If you do think that asserting your boundaries is suspicious, then you can tell them the aforementioned gynecomastia excuse.

It’s true that your ability to reach/stretch and carry heavy things might be affected for a while, but it won’t be noticeable in a classroom setting if you don’t draw attention to it, so you don’t really need to tell anything at all to your classmates because they won’t notice.

You’ll have to ask your surgeon about your own restrictions and it’ll also depend on your healing, but typically the timeline goes like this:

5-7 days: may engage in ADL’s (“activities of daily living”; light housework, etc, provided not lifting more than 20-30 pounds)

7-10 days: may consider RTW (“return to work”, again with the above lifting limitations for 4-6 weeks)

2-4 weeks: may engage in light exercise/extra activity (dog-walking, etc)

4-6 weeks: may engage in moderate exercise (bicycle or treadmill, but no full exertion)

6+ weeks: full activity (including heavy lifting/jogging) generally OK

Generally, most people are back to their normal routine by 2-4 weeks. Overall, it generally takes 3 months for significant swelling to go down and 6-12 months for scars to mature/fade, but that isn’t something that folks will notice if you’re wearing a shirt!

Covid has made this a pretty unique year, so that also provides a few opportunities. If you’re able to do remote/online learning, you won’t have to explain anything because nobody would be able to tell from seeing you sit at a desk using a webcam. So you could always semi-disappear for the 2 weeks it takes to recover and say you were quarantining!

I took 2 weeks off from work after my top surgery in 2017, and when I went back to work (as a page at a public library) my coworkers who I hadn’t disclosed to didn’t know I had just gotten surgery. I didn’t take off my shirt to show my bandages and I didn’t need to like reach above my head so there weren’t any obvious mobility limitations even though I was still healing. I couldn’t lift things heavier than 30 pounds, but I didn’t need to so it didn’t come up.

So you might have to give an explanation to your school about why you need time off, but after you’ve had 2 weeks to recover, your classmates likely won’t realize anything is different and won’t ask questions as long as you don’t try to go to the weight room or something.

#Lee says #top surgery #surgery #stealth #excuses for surgery #excuses #top surgery excuses #top surgery recovery #Anonymous

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