#and now someone telling me I'm sending myself hate lol
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My Tears Ricochet (Matthew Sturniolo)
contains: verbal argument, cheating allegations, crying, breakup, no happy ending, 1.5k words
a/n: honestly i'm sorry for this one. ouch. i said it alr but im not doing a part 2 for this one b/c i don't wanna lmao, the song is how writing this made me feel lol, requested by @nicksmainbitch and i took parts of an anon request
“We need to talk.”
I look down and study the message for maybe the hundredth time since Matt sent it an hour ago. Taking a deep steading breath, I kill my car engine and finally open the door. I’ve been sitting in his driveway for ten minutes now and it’s getting pathetic but I couldn’t help it. There’s nothing I hate more than a cryptic message, especially from Matt.
I use my key to let myself in the house, kicking off my shoes at the entrance, and pause when I notice how quiet it seems. Either Nick and Chris aren’t here or something is very wrong but my gut is leaning towards both. I pull out my phone to check their location but my heart drops when I realize all three of them aren’t showing up on Find My Friends.
Okay. It’s fine. Probably just a glitch. It has to be. I take the stairs two at a time and rush into Matt’s room, finding him with his head down at his desk.
“Matt?” I say quietly, placing a hand on his shoulder that he immediately jerks away from like I’ve burned him.
He lifts his head, spinning the chair around my way, and the look he gives me is like a stab to the heart. Because in all the years I’ve known Matt, in all the years I’ve loved him, he’s never looked at me like he’s looking at me now. Like he can see right through me. Like I’m no one at all to him.
“How long?” He asks calmly, his voice like a brewing storm. “Just tell me that. How long have I been a fucking idiot for?”
I stare back at him silently for a minute, caught between confusion and indignation. “What are you talking about?”
He closes his eyes and shakes his head before he tilts it up to the ceiling. “Listen. Tell me the truth. If you tell me the truth, I can try…” He stops and clears his throat like the words have jammed there. “I love you enough to try to get over it. But, if you lie-”
“What the fuck are you accusing me of, Matthew?” I snap, cutting him off. I feel the anger rising in my chest and blink away the hot tears that are beginning to gather. If Matt and I had one thing going for us, it was trust. We’ve never touched each other’s phones, never questioned stories. We just believed in our bond. But I can feel that trust starting to crumble around us and I don’t know what to do.
Matt grabs his phone from the desk and thrusts it into my hands. “Here. Your side piece must have gotten tired of waiting.”
I look down and skim the drama page he has pulled up, my jaw going slack. Someone has been sending in “proof” that I’ve been cheating on him. There are text messages with time stamps and they’ve even included pictures of me sleeping.
I look back at Matt and find him watching my reaction with his eyes low. “These are obviously fake-” I start but Matt stands up and walks past me to his closet.
“Yeah. That’s what I thought too. Until I saw the pictures. Go ahead and tell me that’s not your tattoo.” He’s breathing heavily now and I can tell he’s trying not to cry. “One more chance. Tell me the truth. Did you fuck him?”
“Matt. Please.” I walk over to him and spin him around to face me, feeling his body tense against my touch. “You know me better than this.”
I step closer and draw him to me, wrapping my arms around his waist, and he lets me. He buries his head in my hair and breaks down. Deep body wracking sobs. So I just hold him, not knowing what to do or say. I can’t prove I didn’t send a message and I have no idea where those pictures came from or how to show him they must be old. So I’m stuck.
When he finally calms down, he pulls away from me and walks back to the desk. He drops down and slouches, defeated. “Oh my god.” His face is contorted with pain and I’m not sure if his expression or words make me sicker. “I thought you were the one.”
I stand there helpless for a minute, tears streaming down my face before I finally speak. “I can’t make you believe me. You gotta do that on your own.”
When he says nothing, I nod, not trusting myself to speak, and gather up my belongings. Before I turn to leave, I yank his house key off my chain and place it on his desk without meeting his eyes. As soon as I put my hand on the doorknob, I want to fall to my knees and cry but I push down the feeling and swing the door open.
I wait for him to say something, anything when I leave. I wait for it all the way down the stairs. I’m still expecting it when I reach my car, and I pause and listen for him to chase after me, to fight.
But he doesn’t so I drive home, drop into my bed and cry. And when he still doesn’t the next day or the next, I force myself to get up and figure out a new normal.
********************
It’s unusually cold for Los Angeles the night he comes, two months later. When I hear his voice spill through the callbox, it takes everything I have not to let my knees buckle. I’ve spent every day of the last couple of months trying to avoid hearing it at all costs.
He speaks again, begging to be let in and I buzz him up without thinking. I run to throw on some sweatpants and then stand with my arms crossed, trying to prepare myself to see his face.
It doesn’t work. Matt walks through the door like a wrecking ball and I’m caught in his wake. He stands awkwardly near the door, shifting from foot to foot.
“What are you doing here, Matt?” My voice sounds exhausted even to me. All the work I’ve done putting myself back together and here he comes toppling me over again.
“I just…” He trails off and begins pacing. “It was your ex. That fucking loser. The picture was old and he-”
“I know.”
“-fucking edited those texts. The motherfucker hit me up trying to-” He pauses finally registering what I said. “What do you mean you know?”
“He called me a few days after we broke up trying to get back together and I finally remembered the picture,” I say, not letting myself look away like I’m dying to.
Matt freezes at this, staring at me in disbelief, before he pulls out a chair from the table and flops down. “But… why wouldn’t you tell me?”
“How did you expect me to do that? Go to Apple headquarters and ask them to unblock me? Email Laura?” I seethe.
“You could've come over. You should have! It changes everything-”
“It changed nothing for me. I already knew I didn’t fucking cheat on you.” My voice cracks slightly but I shake my head. If my mom taught me one thing, it’s to never cry over a boy to his face.
Matt says my name so softly I almost don’t hear it and I cut my eyes back to his. “What do you want me to do? I will do whatever you need to fix this.”
I huff out a humorless laugh at how much I wanted those words and how empty they sound now. “You don’t get to do this to me.”
“Tell me you don’t love me and I’ll go.” He says and I believe him. I don’t think he’d even hesitate.
“I can’t.” Matt stands and advances quickly toward me but I stop him with a hand on his chest. “But, it doesn’t matter. I don’t trust you.”
He winces, clenching his jaw. "I thought you fucking cheated on me! I thought you were throwing everything away.”
“So you threw it away first.”
He raises his voice now, anger and conviction mixing in his tone. “No! I thought all of that and I was still going to stay. That’s how much I wanted you. That’s how much I love you.”
“Then that’s the difference between me and you.” I breathe out a shaky breath, stepping closer to him. “I don’t think that’s love at all.”
His breathing stutters as he moves backward, studying my face. “So that’s it?”
I force myself to shrug. “I think it’s been it. Since the day I walked out of your house crying and you let me.”
He nods again slowly, whispering a quiet "I'm sorry", before turning and heading for the exit. But before he leaves, Matt pauses looking over his shoulder. “Do you think we got this right somewhere in the multiverse?”
I smile weakly, blinking back my tears. “God, I hope so.”
He returns my smile with a sad one of his own before he opens the door and steps out of my apartment for the last time.
When the door clicks shut, I hold my breath and count to five until I’m sure he’s far enough away. Then I let go, dropping to my knees and finally letting myself fall apart.
taglist:
@sturniolho @sttzee @tillies33ssss @miloisdone1 @sstvrnioloo @junnniiieee07 @sturnioloslurps @mrsmiagreer @asturniolos
@teapartyprincess4two @whicked-hazlatwhore @sukiipjs @accio326 @sturniolosmind @imfromthediningtable @rootbeerworshiper
#sturniolo triplets#christopher sturniolo#matt sturniolo#nick sturniolo#chris sturniolo x reader#chris sturniolo#sturniolo fluff#chris sturniolo fluff#chris sturniolo oneshot#matt sturniolo x reader#matt sturniolo headcanon#matt sturniolo angst#matt sturniolo oneshots#chris sturniolo angst#matthew sturniolo#chris sturniolo x you#matt sturniolo smut#chris sturniolo headcanon#chris sturniolo smut#matt sturniolo x you#nicolas sturniolo#sturniolo#sturniolo angst#sturniolo fanfic#sturniolo oneshot#sturniolo x reader#maggie b writes#Spotify
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how tf do you make a post title on the new tumblr mobile app all I can do is make words bigger
hi hello it's sivi aka tonysopranobignaturals or whatever other cursed urls i've had. check my tiktok (nukehenrykissinger) for proof this is really me. if you don't already know I deleted my account a while ago after being put in a "most annoying tumblr users" poll. however, it's not being called an annoying tumblr user that actually caused me to deactivate, but rather the rumors spread as a result. this poll essentially grouped me with pedophiles and nazis and for people who already hated me it was a good opportunity to send anonymous asks telling people I believe awful things, am friends with awful people, etc., and while SOME people actually went to my blog before making assumptions, others did not. at the time this all happened I had over 80,000 followers. having that much attention online is only really useful on websites where you can monetize it. on tumblr it only gets your posts and your blog in places you wish it didn't.
I hoped being off tumblr would improve my mental health and while it did decrease relationship paranoia on social media, otherwise i've been doing quite horribly and put my family in danger several times. it's so bad that i'm saving up to move out so my family can live a more peaceful and safe life. looking back on my delusions that lead to planning murder-suicide (family annihilation) it's hard for me to comprehend how it was myself who got to that point. this disease turns you into someone else and there's only so much you can do to stop it--a person in a psychotic state is not self aware. my psychosis is trauma induced and I WILL have recurrent episodes that I can't predict or prevent. I have to live life with this knowledge. it's not easy. treatment is also difficult, and now that i've moved to an area with absolutely AWFUL healthcare I can barely even get my meds refilled, let alone find a therapist or psychiatrist who actually wants to work with me after seeing my record of institutionalizations.
now, on a more positive note, some people have asked me about my world on my tiktok. well, it's just as active as it's always been, and catching you up on current events would take forever so i'd rather post naturally as things occur like I did before.
and to conclude all of this...if you do have a problem with me for any reason that's fine; i'm not entitled enough to think I inherently deserve everyone's support, but I DO think you could just like, block me and leave it at that. oh yeah and the post says "return to tumblr *maybe*" because i'm not sure if I can handle the attention long enough for me to not delete again LOL.
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It's been a while. Sorry.
Hi, all.
I've had a couple people in my inbox asking where I am, if I'm okay, what's going on. And I just wanted to say I'm alright! At first, I wasn't online because I had a work project to do, which was taking up all my time.
At first.
Honestly, being offline has been great for me. Every single time I've thought about going back, I've gone into my Tumblr to find a new hate anon in my inbox (mostly centred around wanting me to KMS, etc.) or someone else in the fandom venting about cliques, bullies, hate anons or the like, and I've immediately been turned off. I'm so, so exhausted by all this.
I think it's fairly obvious to state that I don't like some people on here. That's fine, isn't it? Sometimes people just don't like each other, and everyone is entitled to their reasons for that. I've not brought those users up, not said a single word about any of them for ages, and I'd really like to keep it that way. Part of that has involved my choosing to disengage from users who frequently interact with them, and that's not because I hate those users or want to punish them for their friendships - I'd just prefer not to be reminded of anyone I've felt uncomfy with while on here, and I feel like that's a fair boundary to set? I would never ask anyone to stop being friends with people because that's a different bag of crazy than I am, but I also feel it's unfair to have to force myself to be okay with the names of users who I've had negative experiences with pop up on my dashboard all the time. It doesn't make for a healthy environment.
I guess the reason I bring that up is because I can't really fathom who else is sending me all this hate; I have to assume it's people who are upset that I've chosen to unfollow or stop engaging with, because I've blocked all the rest.
I'm honestly struggling to figure out why I'm so hated. I've only ever stood up for myself and for my friends. That's what friends do, isn't it? Stick up for each other? And sure, I've been unkind a couple times. It's human to not always be capable of rising above the shit that gets flung your way. But I don't know why that makes it okay to tell me that I'm so fat that I'm going to die, that people hope I die soon, that I must be ugly IRL which is why I'm clearly such a bitch, that I'm going to die alone with no one who cares about me, that I should be SA'ed, that I deserve to get beaten up and left for dead. I don't know why people want to say these things to me. I've never ever felt that strongly about someone, let alone angry enough to actually send them that kind of message. The worst message I've sent on here was actually to ewanmitchellcrumbs - spoiler, it's related to crackfics. All of those messages were cursed, lol. Who the fuck sends death threats on Tumblr anon?
That's on top of the constant vague-posting others do. I've been so offline that I barely check Tumblr, and it's not because I don't want to come back. I do. I just wish I wasn't slapped in the face by some new uprising of hate and toxicity every time I've tried. I'm paranoid. I don't know who to trust on here. I don't know who's being nice to my face and calling me shit behind my back. I don't know if people want me as a friend or think I have some sort of 'clout' they can piggyback off. To be clear, I don't. I doubt people care about any of my opinions, or my thoughts/feelings outside my writing. That's fine. I don't want to be a part of whatever cliquey shit people are always claiming there is. I don't know if people are talking about me when they're saying these things, because there's been one or two people I've fallen out with to go ahead and accuse me of it. I'm a person? Not a community? This isn't Mean Girls. I'm not Regina George. I'm not even Karen. The Plastics aren't real. I like what I like and who I like and it's just insane to me that there are people who think that's problematic. If they do, of course. Again, I'm really paranoid right now so dunno if people mean me by this or not. Point is, I don't know why people think others owe them engagement.
I can't keep doing the same thing over and over and wishing things would turn out differently. I think a certain scientist with frizzy hair said that's the definition of insanity. I'm tired of thinking I've found friends only to have them decide that I'm inherently unlikeable or worthless to them because I won't invest my all in promoting them like I'm a brand deal. I'm tired of people viewing this community like it's some sort of race to the top. I'm tired of the gaslighting. I'm tired of the insincerity. I'm tired of the rumours and the anons and the vent posts. I'm tired of people making sweeping statements about shit but never specifying anything, leaving everyone to wonder who the fuck is 'in' or 'out'.
I've been transparent on here. You can literally read accounts I wrote of ALL the quote-unquote "drama" I've been involved in. Who else can say the same? I'm not interested in hiding behind my words, or pointing my finger at the room but never at any ONE person, no, because who wants anyone to tell the truth ever? What you see is what you get with me. If I like you, I talk to you. If I don't, you've been blocked. Everyone else is neutral, either because of limited crossover or because we simply haven't had the chance to interact yet. There.
Anyway. I'm in a pretty negative headspace, but most of this has nothing to do with the people who read my stuff. Sorry if you followed for fic and got this. Yikes, right?
Dunno. This might be my last post for a while. This might be my last post ever. Or, this might be my return. I haven't decided yet. Hm. I'm feeling really bitter and alone and just ugh about fandom. Not writing, though. I want to write. Which is why I've decided that, if I do end up returning, I'm going to stick to my own bubble. Write fic. Post fic. Reblog gifs. Get out. Limit interaction outside my inbox where I can. Stick to fic. I've been burned too many damn times to do anything else.
So, yeah. That's what's on my mind, I think. Sorry if you were hoping for something a little less bleh.
Whatever I decide - for those of you that are following me, thank you. I've been so incredibly enriched by my experience here. I love HotD. I love my work. I'm proud. And I love you all.
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As someone who had been part of the creepypasta fandom since 2012, I agree with anon. I see SO much BS now that I never had to deal with until now. People apparently can't have head cannons anymore; you can't like so and so or the classic hate against AU's.
As someone older, I do not care. This is supposed to be fun for everyone. I'm not letting some 12–15-year-old tell me how to enjoy myself.
Also Gatekeeping is just cringe.
Really ?!? When I was 9-11 on qoutev reading fics/roleplaying, I remember people were really mean about anything that wasn’t “canon” (whatever that means at this point) and being really mean to “Mary sues” and self inserts .. Nowadays I feel like everyone I meet is like “yeah my AU is like this, but I like how your AU does this!” LOL
I think the biggest gatekeeping issue I see nowadays is “they’re killers!!! They’re cold hearted and this is supposed to be the SCARY FANDOM!!! If you make them anything other than horrifying monstrous creatures, you’re stupid and lame and boring and a child!” And the realism vs fanon vs canon etc debate.. but I literally couldn’t care less like this fandom was built on anime boy jeff the killer x readers you cannot convince me otherwise
I wish there was a better way to distinguish creepypasta (the scary stories) from the creepypasta fandom (the characters and relationships and comics and animations and cosplay etc etc)
Anyway that’s just my experience but I hope that u guys are able to find good healthy circles of people who embrace new interpretations and creative story telling and interesting designs and all! That’s the best part of this fandom and what makes it so much fun
Edit; not to say that what u described DOESNT happen though HAHA I’ve had people make some remarks about my stuff and whatever so I know it’s true !
EDIT 2; THIS WAS ABOUT STUFF I SAW ON TIKTOK IN LIKE SUMMER 2023 DONT SEND ME ASKS GOSSIPING SBOUT SPECIFIC PEOPLE THANK UUUUU
#chatterbox#asks#sorry I talk so much omfg I’ve been working all day w coworkers I can’t chat with#so my brain is turning like crazy
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Omg the reblog person is so real for that. I understand that Tumblr doesn't have an algorithm so liking doesn't functionally do anything but I get extremely anxious about reblogging so the guilt trips are really awful for me (and I assume it's the same for others with similar issues.)
Uh- bit of a tangent/rant below. For context I'm an "Audhd-er" (I think that's the term people use, it means I'm autistic and I have ADHD)
I understand most of the time they are over-exaggerating their feelings on the matter. In posts about reblogging stuff from writers and artists it's always kind of a "LIKES DO NOTHING SHOW YOUR LOVE WITH REBLOGS LIKES MEAN NOTHING"
I've always found that a bit odd. As someone with two mutuals (one of whom is rarely online) and 1 normal follower my reblogs really aren't gonna do much so I mostly reblog stuff my mutuals might like and occasionally make my own posts. (Keeping everything else private for the most part) When I get a like it always brings a warm fuzzy feeling because it means someone enjoyed my reblog or post enough to share with me that they liked it.
I've only had one post that breached containment and it was a fun weekend of checking out the blogs of people who liked it! All in all I think maybe people are just unaware of the anxieties that come with being online and the people who experience those anxieties are too anxious to really speak up about it. I mean look at me I'm chilling behind an anon mask rn (I rarely send an off anon ask lol.)
For a website dubbed by its users as the neurodivergent website, some people forget to consider that learning and working within the culture of a social media platform can be extremely stressful for many types of people, let alone an autistic person such as myself (the ADHD doesn't help either). Some of us would prefer to lurk in our private blogs, only coming out of our comfort zone when we feel ok to do so.
All in all, a reminder to reblog is perfectly fine, but please refrain from the guilt-tripping and social obligation type of thing— or at least be aware of it and try not to be offended if one of your mutuals struggles to reblog.
Now this is all my personal perspective, other people will likely have completely different experiences but I wanted to share in case people were confused on why it's an issue for some people. Thanks for reading this whole thing and I hope you have a lovely day <3
I think I get what you're saying -
For a lot of people it genuinely takes a surprising amount of guts to put themselves out there on the internet in any way, even if it's anonymously, and that includes things as simple as reblogging a post.
It's not just Tumblr either. You also see it on Reddit and Twitter, and in online games where people just want to keep to themselves and not interact with strangers. Some people just want to lurk, maybe liking or upvoting, but not commenting or reblogging, because that feels like making yourself more "visible" somehow, in a way simply liking posts doesn't.
It's difficult to put into words, but I feel it's kind of like being in a university lecture with 50+ strangers. Liking is sitting in the back quietly taking notes. Reblogging is like putting your hand up and giving an opinion when the professor asks for one.
It's true that only reblogging actually contributes anything functionally, but there are plenty of people, especially neurodivergent people, who might struggle with that kind of thing, but still want to show some appreciation, or just save it as a bookmark.
So, I think that's partly why that kind of guilt-tripping or threatening reblog bait can be so stressful. Tumblr is a comfort app for a lot of people, who just want to curate their own little private space. Reblog baits are like someone banging on your door, telling you that you're actively doing something wrong by keeping to yourself, and (in the case of "I'll block/unfollow you if you like/read but don't reblog" baits) people will hate you for doing it.
It also implicitly takes away the sense of control you have over your own personal online space. Ideally, you should be able to do whatever you want with your own blog - no one should dictate your own online experience. So, if you just want to reblog things you like or want to share, at whatever pace you feel comfortable with, there shouldn't be anything wrong with that.
But reblog baits seem to suggest that you shouldn't have that control, and there are certain things that you have no choice but to put on your blog, and it has to be right now. And I feel that sense of having control suddenly snatched away from you without warning could also be a major source of anxiety for a lot of people who see Tumblr as a source of comfort.
With all that in mind, while I do believe that it's not quite this simple, considering artists and writers, and especially those who rely on commissions, do need exposure from reblogs, I also feel it's difficult to blame people for finding very aggressive reblog baits stressful, especially when you're suddenly blindsided with them.
At least, those are just my initial thoughts based on what you said, but absolutely let me know if you disagree with any of this or feel I misrepresented what you meant <3
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im so sorry to send you this but im confused. i thought izzy hands was obviously homophobic while i was watching the show but now people on the internet are telling me that calling him gay and homophobic is a conspiracy theory. i want to trust my instincts on this as a queer myself but they say it so much i think im starting to believe it. i know literally none of this matters but its genuinely bumming me out. maybe we all just have slightly different definitions of homophobia?
I would love to answer this for you. Your instincts are correct. Izzy is gay and homophobic. You should trust your gut on this because it's important for you be able to identify guys like Izzy irl if you're someone who might be on the receiving end of homophobia.
What happened is that back in June of 2022 everyone fully agreed that Izzy was one of those repressed gay men who's internalized homophobia rotted his soul and became externalized. We wanted to put him in a jar. We all interested in how this weird little freak got this way. Then everything changed when the canyon formed. Since then it has been a mad dash to beat the allegations. Unfortunately an actor has validated them in a way that makes me really wonder about him frankly, because he seems to be operating under the impression that people are saying that Izzy is a "homo sex is sin" Style homophobe when nobody was saying that, what we were saying is that Izzy is incredibly weird about and hateful towards feminine men and he believes that Stede is corrupting Ed with his foppishness, which is still homophobia it's just a different brand of homophobia than the religious right's obsession with the mechanics.
Tbh tho I don't actually care about that actors' take because he's not a writer, he has a history of not being very good at reading the subtext given that he fully didn't realize it was a gay show for half the episodes, and David Jenkins has liked multiple metas on twt about Izzy being a homophobe so I'll trust that lol. The only consequence that Con O'Neill being publically wrong has had for me is that people occasionally do an unearned victory lap when he says something.
But also I low key sometimes feel incredibly unsafe knowing that there's a substantial group of people who claim to be queer and against homophobia but who can't understand that the whole subplot with Lucius in episode 5 and the thing with Ed in episode 10 is laced with bigotry against feminine gay men. I don't think admitting that means you have to think it's his only motivation or that it's contradictory to the read of him being attracted to Ed and Lucius or with the concept that he's mostly just power hungry, but it does sort of mean that I have to move through the world knowing that there are people in my own community who would fully blame me if something happened to me. I don't fucking like it. That's why I get so upset about this so publicly. It's like so what happens if I get attacked but the guy calls me a namby pamby or a bitch instead of a faggot. Are you gonna be like "well we don't know~". It's just an uncomfortable thought. I don't understand why they're so desperate to beat the allegations either, like he's fake. People who have experienced things like what Ed and Lucius went through at his hands are real. The argument that gay people can "do something to (someone)'s brain" is written into legislation trying to ban trans people from public life. Nobody wants you to stop liking Izzy we just want you to stop saying shit that's harmful
And I don't necessarily think that everyone who chooses to put more emphasis on Izzys obsession with Ed wouldn't be able to identify a hate crime, I just have seen more than one piece of meta that goes "Izzys not homophobic he just thinks Stede is a mincing fop who's corrupting Ed with his frilly whiles there's nothing homophobic about that" and I just have to block them for being homophobic themselves because what else do I do with that? When I vague post about this shit I'm talking about specific ass things that I've seen that have made me feel very uncomfortable and unsafe not generic canyon trends. I just really feel like we need to calm down about Izzy. Like you can feel empathy towards a gay guy that hates himself and write a bunch of fic about him getting laid without deciding actually he did nothing wrong and everyone who can see that that's not true is making shit up to oppress *checks notes* people who like a fictional character. I don't get why that's so hard to do.
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Hii,,, hope I'm not bothering you too much. I've been a really big fan of your writing for a couple of months now. You don't have to respond to my ask if it makes you uncomfortable, I understand.
I'm someone who easily falls into paranoia spirals, and constantly second guesses whether my behaviour is socially appropriate since I have such a hard time reading a room. I have a habit of unknowingly stepping over the line when I get excited and thus making people uncomfortable, and only being aware of it if I'm directly confronted about it? Though because I absolutely hate conflict I often distance/isolate myself from the people I'm close to and find myself forming deeper emotional attachments to stuffed animals than people.
Would the guys find this to be a problem? Would they particularly care about someone being more open to an inanimate object than them, or if they need to regularly switch between reminding the person of boundaries and assurance that they aren't a selfish or awful person?
(Again, feel free to ignore this if you don't want to respond, I won't get upset if this ask gets deleted for being too much)
- 🖍 crayanon
Okay first of all Crayanon is adorable
Secondly, sending me asks is in no way bothering me! If I don't have the time or energy to respond to them, I often sit on them until I do (or until I come up with a sufficient answer for some of them). The only ones I wind up deleting are the ones I legitimately don't have an answer to LOL.
Thirdly, I'm seeing some self-deprecation here, and I'd like to remind you that you aren't a selfish or awful person for your neurodivergence. I prefer the company of animals, stuffed or not, to people most of the time as well. It's no shortcoming of yours that you have issues reading social queues-- especially when excited. You're far from alone in that aspect, and honestly? You can't blame yourself for crossing a boundary that you didn't know existed. All you can do is keep that boundary in mind going forward. You're not psychic, so you can't have known, and anyone who gets mad at you for crossing a line you weren't aware of... might be someone you may wish to rethink being around. This is a very annoying thing that happens with Neutotypical people, I feel. They expect you to know the exact social standards of every single setting everywhere you go when they... don't communicate that whatsoever. It isn't your fault, and this is all a very long winded way for me to say: Don't beat yourself up over stupid unspoken societal standards. It doesn't make you a bad person, and neither does wanting to avoid these situations. You aren't selfish, and you aren't awful.
With that out of the way...
Generally speaking, the guys are really good with mental health and neurodivergence in general. It's kind of a monster society thing-- since monsters are all so vastly different from one another, they don't tend to balk at anything that has to do with appearance or mentality. It's just the way you are, and if it happens to cause problems for you or them, they're still very supportive. They might nudge you towards professional help if it becomes a serious problem, but on the whole, these guys are very hard to offend by behavior.
Killer also has issues with boundaries sometimes, and needs to be corrected. With the guys, this usually comes in the form of playful violence, but you can shove him off or tell him to back up or steep off just as easily. His are hard to cross, but if you manage it, he's pretty gracious with letting you know, and if he sees you edging up on that line again, he'll playfully remind you of it. He won't get mad. The most you'll get for your troubles is a noogie.
Dust may snap if his boundaries are crossed in any serious way, but he's kind of a withdrawn person. He doesn't mean to be mean, but he'll be firm. He might get a little short and brisk to get you to back off... but he'll explain why once he's wound down from it. He might get a little rattled, but he won't hold it against you. Learning to be around new people can sometimes have a steep learning curve that can go on for years after you've met and grown close to them.
Axe only snaps if you get near his skull injury. Otherwise, he's pretty chill. If it's a social boundary, he isn't bothered too much, and will remind you that it's there calmly. He'll also warn you off of it if he feels you're creeping toward his or anyone else's boundaries, and praise you with reassurances if you remember these on your own. It'd do you well to remember that one of his biggest boundaries is to not startle him awake, since... that's less one for him and more one for you, so you don't get hurt on accident.
Cross will gently bodily move you if it's a physical boundary and just... say your name correctively if it's a social one. He'll explain his boundaries, but prefers reminding you rather than telling you. He thinks that you'll remember these on your own soon enough if he just... nudges you away from them. He's pretty understanding, even if he looks stern.
Baggs takes note of these behaviors and works with you on them. Little memory exercises to remind you of where general boundaries might be, offers different methods of mindfulness, and takes everything in stride. Even if you cross his, he's patient and explains gently. He also likes the subtle sort of nudging you in the right direction-- making your own associations and your own corrections are far preferable than straight directions. It allows you to build your own habits and reminders that are custom-tailored to you.
Nightmare has arguably the hardest time with this because he is not pleasant when a boundary of his has been crossed. He'll get a little sour, but still remind you carefully of what that was and why he didn't like that. It's really not you, it's him. He gets cranky and bitter when bothered, but... he also has to remind himself that no one here is psychic and can't possibly know what he's thinking. He likes to lead you into conclusions yourself ("Do you remember what happened last time?") rather than actively correcting it, and does so as gently as he can. This bothers you deeply, and he can tell. He doesn't want you agonizing over a simple mishap that, in the grand scheme of things, matters very little.
As for being closer to stuffies than to them...
...They might get a little jealous, but the most that nets you is them sitting with the plush so that you have no excuse but to spend time with them. Oh no.
Fortunately, they can be pretty still and quiet if you don't feel like people at the moment. Just hanging around quietly is enough.
#k answers#k headcanons#feat. r&r crew#readmore for length as always#give yourself the grace and understanding that you grant to others always
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Man you are so embarrassing I hope you realise everyone rolls their eyes every time you go on a rant about how cool and unkillable and unemotional you are lol
oh sick, did you do a survey to get that data? it's lovely that you took that kind of initiative for something you're so passionate about! I love that for you 💕
as many of yall may have noticed by now, I love fact-checking anon hate, so let's goooo!!
I don't recall any original posts or reblog additions I've made about myself in that tone, but feel free to follow up with links if I'm forgetting something.
I did do a search for the word "unemotional" on my blog, as I'm reasonably confident that I've repeatedly expressed my emotions on my blog, and that the handful of posts I made discussing psychopathy & the misinformation about it deliberately addressed that psychopathy is not a condition of "no emotions" as many people assume.
I searched "cool" and found the one from a few hours ago where I called my wife cool (which I completely stand by), a bunch of reblogs from other people that included the word, and a couple references to irl friends of mine. I did not find any instance of calling myself cool, though I def agree that that would be 100% eyeroll-worthy.
I'm interested that you find my attempt at a lighthearted/playful mention of the genuinely traumatic experiences of being in situations that had me end up briefly considered clinically dead "embarrassing." That totally reflects very well on you and very poorly on me forsure.
Finally, I'll conclude with a reminder that, while I do find these somewhat snarky fact-checking responses fun to do, I don't and honest to God can't take any hate anons to heart. Not because I'm "unemotional," but because, as I've said about a hundred times, it goes against my personal code to send ANY anons, hate or not. It is very, very important to me to attach my name to everything I choose to say to anyone besides my wife. If you can't hate me with your (still technically anonymous) URL attached, how on earth am I supposed to take it personally?
And I've also said this before, but for the love of God, if you want to actually want to hurt someone's feelings, just do your damn homework and go with something that isn't easily disproven/rebuked. This blog's engagement & the engagement posts like this one get just about every time tell a pretty clear story. So then how are you going to try to convince me "everyone" feels that way? This is low effort and weak. Just fuckin do better. I'm getting tired of having to tell anon haters this. I'm begging yall to do better.
Please enjoy this picture of Nik, who definitely does think I'm very cool because I clean his litter box and give him tasty treats.
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This is to the fans: I’m going to say this once for all and it’s that most of you guys are actually pretty big a-holes to the lovely levity team. These people aren’t professional game developers they’re a group of people making a game on a show they love and some of y’all are taking it as something really serious thing. These guys are making a game while your calling them narcissistic and just really bad stuff (please stop genuinely it can seriously damage someone ) may I remind you that their making this game for you!? I’m sick of seeing some of you be so rude it’s not even criticism if you thing calling them narcissistic or stupid it’s just pure hate. ekko, melody I don’t know if your reading this but if you are I hope you get better ❤️🩹 as for you guys grow up. Some of you guys think your such heroes like “oH mY gOd YoU aRe LiKe FcKiNg ChiLdReN hAhA lol CrInGe” shut up you aren’t the main character. (Sorry for me being rude I just got in a car crash and I’m feeling all these emotions)
Oh no, I hope you're okay now!! I really hope you weren't injured, anon, car crashes can be so dangerous :(
That being said I do appreciate your wanting to stick up for the team. We've been through a lot as a friend group, but we're committed to seeing this through, though of course we have decided that if things get too stressful we're not going to risk our health over it. Luckily things have been relatively quiet and peaceful these past few days (KNOCK ON WOOD KNOCK ON WOOD-).
Putting me opening up under a cut since it has to deal with cyberbulling and talking a tad about mental health pertaining to myself. Nothing too personal ofc but just in case!!
~ Melody
I guess I can open up a little bit about this... since I've been gone there have been people following me to every single blog I have, even ones I have never linked or posted anywhere to send me harrassment. On top of the severe upset surrounding the event of my leaving the blog and what happened in the subsequent months, it made it very hard for me to want to create. I made a side bog just for fun OC x Canon for me and my friends but someone found me within a matter of days and ran to my askbox trying to stir things up and claim I was trying to "hide my identity". I've begun getting my spark back and so I dedicated myself to working harder, even picking up the basics of coding to help lighten the load on Puppit's shoulders. Even then it's still a challenge.
Guess the point I'm making here is what others have said: Please don't jump someone or follow them across several blogs to send them harrassment telling them to kill themselves and calling them mental disabilities as if that's some kind of slur to be used rather than a genuine diagnosis that people struggle with. You don't know the full side of the story, and even then no one deserves to be treated like that even if you hate them. At the end of the day this is a silly little fangame made by fans for fans, it should not get so serious that you're actively hunting one of the devs down.
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Mandela catalog texting 🍜
~~~~~~
✨Jonah and Adam✨
~~~~~~
💜Adam: u dyed ur hair again?
💙Jonah: yes
💜Adam: looks ugly
💙Jonah: ur face
💜Adam: what.
💙Jonah: is surprisingly pretty
💜Adam: why'd you compliment me, I just insulted you, are you stupid?
💙Jonah: keep going, I'm enjoying this
💜Adam: freak
~~~~~~
💜Adam: wanna ask if we can go to the library?
💙Jonah: u can ask, u gotta bring ur paper up anyway
💜Adam: Nah
💜Adam: just stay here
💜Adam: what's wrong
💜Adam: did you want something from the service trade people
💜Adam: I have money
💜Adam: I kinda owe you anyway
~~~~~~
💙Jonah: I'm sorry 😭
💙Jonah: I hate to leave man
💙Jonah: *picture didn't send*
💙Jonah: what a bitch
💜Adam: I can't see the picture you sent me
💜Adam: I learned a new spell in DND and fucked shit up
💙Jonah: oh sorry
💙Jonah: that's cool :)
💜Adam: It was fun, I accidentally almost killed Evelin and the guy that sits beside Evelin bc I didn't know how big the attack was and blew up a room
💙Jonah: Jesus
~~~~~~
💙Jonah: hi
💜Adam: hello
💙Jonah: hiiiiiii
💙Jonah: So what all did we have to do in English
💜Adam: Read the thingy online then pick a few questions and answer them, write a paragraph for each question you picked and you need at least 300 words
💙Jonah: oh okay
💜Adam: Should be called "my father tried to kill me with a crocodile" or alligator, I don't know my reptiles
💙Jonah: ok
💙Jonah: I got it
~~~~~~
✨Evelin and Sarah✨
~~~~~~
🌷Evelin: I broke up with him, but we agreed to still be friends bc he does great as a friend just not as a boyfriend
🌺Sarah: Fr?
🌺Sarah: like, you actually ended it?
🌷Evelin: Yeah, let me quote myself, "I wanna be ur friend, not ur girlfriend"
🌷Evelin: And he was like "okay, I think that'll be a bit awkward, but we can do that"
🌺Sarah: u guys might get back together tho
🌺Sarah: i think just a break
🌷Evelin: Nevermind, he doesn't even wanna be friends
🌺Sarah: talking stage
🌺Sarah: type of thing
🌺Sarah: well
🌺Sarah: you still have me and Dave
🌷Evelin: He told me not to talk to him and I told him I'll give him his sweater on Monday and I won't talk to him anymore
🌷Evelin: drama queen much
🌷Evelin: is that mean?
🌺Sarah: wtf
🌷Evelin: maybe
🌺Sarah: nah
🌷Evelin: he can just sit with other Adam
🌷Evelin: they're friends
🌺Sarah: yeah
🌺Sarah: or with Jonah
🌺Sarah: I like my answer better
🌷Evelin: he'd die if he had to sit with Jonah
🌷Evelin: it'd be kinda funny
🌺Sarah: exactly
🌷Evelin: I can't believe he said "don't talk to me" as if he listens to me when I talk to him anyway lol
🌺Sarah: Bro 💀
🌷Evelin: And now he's begging me for a second chance 😭
🌺Sarah: wow
🌺Sarah: that would be more awkward
🌷Evelin: he's just very interesting
🌺Sarah: ur gonna get back with him
🌺Sarah: just give it a week
🌷Evelin: no we are not
🌺Sarah: ok
🌷Evelin: with the way he's being rn I'd rather just not talk to him
🌺Sarah: yeah
🌺Sarah: me too
🌷Evelin: My mother's like "aw why, he wanted to have a job that made a lot of money" and it was funny
🌺Sarah: wow
🌺Sarah: lol
🌷Evelin: I swear she only likes the ppl I'm with if they have money or plan to do something that will make a lot of money 😭
🌷Evelin: She's shallow, she married dad bc he was making a bunch of money at the time lol
🌺Sarah: honestly I don't blame her
🌺Sarah: I would too
🌷Evelin: I agree with her, but, like, damn
🌺Sarah: easy way of living life
🌷Evelin: true
🌷Evelin: He's still going so I was like "but being friends is :("And he was like "and dating me wasn't fun"And I was like "no"
🌺Sarah: damn
🌺Sarah: bold
🌺Sarah: ur right tho
🌺Sarah: He never acted like a boyfriend in front of others therefore that's why Jonah thought me and you were dating
🌺Sarah: little does he know I'm dating someone else
🌷Evelin: ahahahha
🌺Sarah: you should tell him that
🌷Evelin: he just doesn't boyfriend the way you do
~~~~~~
✨Jonah and Adam ✨
~~~~~~
💙Jonah: my mother is arguing with me abt school
💙Jonah: so mean
💜Adam: why
💙Jonah: bc she's mean
💙Jonah: I dunno
💙Jonah: I think she just wants to argue
💙Jonah: such are mothers
💜Adam: makes sense
~~~~~~
💙Jonah: you been talking to Eve?
💜Adam: yeah
💙Jonah: what happened?
💜Adam: I still don't know what she's got going on
💜Adam: kinda just ignoring her rn
💙Jonah: ohh ok
~~~~~~
✨Ruth and Thatcher✨
~~~~~~
🤍Thatcher: I'm thinking abt dying my hair fr, so, I'm taking suggestions for what colour/colours
🤍Thatcher: Like, I'm gonna probably do it later tonight or tmr
🌻Ruth: dark blue
🤍Thatcher: okay :]
🌻Ruth: half blue half black
🌻Ruth: or purple and black
🌻Ruth: blue and purple
🌻Ruth: something with blue or purple
🤍Thatcher: those are Dave's favorite colours :0
🤍Thatcher: haha
🌻Ruth: actually? Never knew that
🤍Thatcher: I have blue, I'd just have to buy purple
~~~~~~
✨Mark and Cesar✨
~~~~~~
🍓Mark: *picture of their mark on their final project (team project)*
🍄Cesar: woohoo
🍄Cesar: 95%
🍓Mark: yeah
🍄Cesar: we're awesome
🍓Mark: I thought the interview was alright though, probably my fault
🍓Mark: you are
🍓Mark: I sucked ass
🍄Cesar: U were fine, but u could tell u weren't completely sure what u were talking about sometimes
🍓Mark: Exactly
🍄Cesar: <3
🍓Mark: you probably still would have maybe not me
🍓Mark: but I'm proud of you
🍓Mark: I wasn't sure abt anything I'm gonna be honest
🍄Cesar: Well, it was more fun bc we worked together, it wouldn't have been the same without u :]
🍓Mark: thank u
🍓Mark: I feel special for once
🍄Cesar: No need to thank me, it's just how I feel :>U pretty much motivated me to get shit done with it hence why I'd get so pissy when things weren't getting done, bc I don't care for my own grades but knowing ur grade could have been bad bc of me it made me actually want to work on it
🍄Cesar: Also, give urself some credit, u did ask Mrs. Buckle the questions, I probably wouldn't have bothered
🍓Mark: I have an 83 in that class, I wasn't worrying much about it, just wanted to get a decent mark out of it. I care about your marks because you're my friend and I wanna graduate all together
🍓Mark: I have patience with you, I don't with most people. Sometimes I lose it but at times I can't take it yk
🍓Mark: I could've worked on it sooner instead of last minute though
🍓Mark: But thank you for doing it for me, you did it for yourself.
🍄Cesar: <3
🍓Mark: love youuu
🍄Cesar: love u toooo
~~~~~~
✨Adam and Sarah✨
~~~~~~
💜Adam: fuck you
🌺Sarah: I though u were being the bigger person and ending the conversation
~~~~~~
💜Adam: I can do the showcase tomorrow btw, unless you're still mad and don't want me there. Then ig you can do it
🌺Sarah: I'm not doing it alone, u better be there
🌺Sarah: My throat hurts to much to speak so if u can be there that'd be great
💜Adam: I'll be there. Are you and eve still mad
🌺Sarah: If ur over it we're over it
💜Adam: I'm over it, I should apologize to Evelin. Im sorry for Thursday with the Jonah thing and for the dance. I just needed Eve at the time and I'm sorry
🌺Sarah: whatever you say.
~~~~~~
✨Adam and Jonah ✨
~~~~~~
💜Adam: hey
💜Adam: you there
💙Jonah: hi
💙Jonah: bus
💙Jonah: on it
💙Jonah: soon
💙Jonah: getting on it
💜Adam: ok
💜Adam: I have a lock with a
💜Adam: key
💙Jonah: okay.
~~~~~~
#Mandela Catalogue#Texting#the mandela catalogue#adam murray#jonah marshall#mark heathcliff#Ceser Torres#cesar torres#thatcher davis#ruth weaver#Dave#sarah heathcliff#tmc evelin
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Hello! (I've decided to write this before going to read your recent story. I always wanted to write to you so many time but didn't have the confidence to do so).
I just wanted to take a moment to share how much I've been enjoying your writing on Tumblr. Your posts have a way of drawing me in and transporting me to different worlds with each word you write.
I followed you since the "don't call me daddy part I" (love it so much especially the part when doll talk about family that supposed to love you unconditionally, I FEEL her) and read almost all of your story. I like mafia! daddy!bucky and his angel. I love the name that angel call alpine "PinePine" *so cute😭*. There are so many things that I love in your masterlist (too many to write it down, maybe I should write it in a comment section if you're ok with it)
I also wanted to practice muaythai/thai boxing to fight those haters. (I saw someone said that before and I agreed with them) You don't deserve hate, you deserve kindness. As a reader, I didn't expect writers to write a long story. I just want them to be happy while writing. I'm ok if they post once a while or everyday. It didn't raise my standards and I hope every writers is enjoying themselves while writing. I LOVE every writers I've followed and read their story. I really appreciate them (and you).
Thank you for sharing your talent and creativity with the world—it's a gift that brings joy to so many, myself included. I look forward to continuing to follow your journey as a writer.
Sorry if this is too long lol. I need to tell you this bc it's been on my mind for weeks. Please be safe, healthy and happy.🥺❤️
Hello, lovely, sweet person💜💜💜 Please always feel free to stop by I'll always be here to talk to you. I apologize for not replying to your ask as soon as you sent it, yesterday wasn't the best day.
Thank you from the bottom of my heart for saying that. Knowing that my writing could do that has to be the best thing anyone's ever told me and I can't thank you enough for the smile on my face right now💜💜💜💜💜
Don't call me daddy is very very personal to me and you saying that it resonated with you too makes me feel both that I'm not alone and that my writing is more than just words so again thank you so so much for that💜💜
Oh I'm so happy you read mafia!Bucky and angel they were my favorite before I wrote Orc!Bucky and I'm supposed to post more of them in the future but I'm still not finished with the new parts for their story (my comment section is your comment section feel free to tell me more please:"💜💜💜)
I wish I could learn kick boxing tbh but I'm still jobless for now (please wish me better luck with jobs if that's okay with you I can't sleep in the streets I'm too weak). Learn so you could teach me:" Jk jk. Thank you, it means a lot to me how kind and sweet you are. Humans will be humans, we can't stop them from being hateful or unkind. It's cool, I cry a little and then it's gone. I'm really grateful for you being so kind and understanding and I'm sure each and every writer you read for also feels the same way.
Thank YOU for being here for it all. It makes everything worth it and makes me feel less alone. You're an amazing person and I hope you know that.
It's okay, I loved and appreciated every word. Thank you so so much for taking the time and energy to send me this beautiful ask, it makes all the difference and it will leave me happy for days💜💜💜💜💜 Please take good care of yourself as well and don't be a stranger💜
#thank you for saying i don't deserve hate#it means a lot to me#i actually have a hater i'm about to call out right now so thanks for keeping me strong#you've made me so happy you have no idea#you're an angel#ily <3#mwah mwah#purple answers#💜💜
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Incoming rant because I think I'm overthinking things but I also feel like I'm not; I'm just overall upset and anxious and feeling so embarrassed for myself for being like this.
So cat guy is dry as fuck with his texts after the second date. Like... he doesn't message me as much anymore. He does initiate conversations but it's like, when I reply, he either emoji reacts to it or leaves me on read. He doesn't use as many emojis in his texts as much anymore, either. He used to send random reels and posts but now he rarely does that. I mean, he did send one at like 4am this morning so that's sweet, but would he have sent anything if I didn't initiate the conversation somehow? To be fair, he did send me a message like two hours prior to him sending that post, which was a response to a message I sent. So he kinda like... Did a double text lol. (This is me reading into things, and that's how I try to make myself feel better but it rarely works.)
And I just feel like things are off, y'know?
But I also feel like I'm overthinking things.
I'm reading into things too much now that I actually like him (apparently that's what I do when I like someone. I think I have attachment issues which I absolutely hate. I hate being like this. I hate being overly anxious and an over thinker. I hate being that annoying ass bitch who needs reassurance). I'm wondering if he even actually wants to see me again even though he did say he hopes to see me again soon after the second date, because maybe he's changed his mind. I keep looking back at past messages to see what's changed. I scroll back to the message he sent after the first date and compare it to the message he sent after the second date and am like... Hm. Different wording. Is this a sign of disinterest? Is he lying? Maybe he's lying. Maybe he doesn't want to see me again, but is only doing this to be polite.
I keep wondering if maybe I did something to make him lose interest (I'm assuming he has based purely off of his texts and shit). Is it something I said? Am I at fault here?
I keep obsessing over the little details, whereas I used to not. I keep re-reading old messages to see what's changed. And it just sucks ass if he has lost interest because this is literally a story of "He liked her first, she ended up liking him back, and now he's lost interest".
Granted, he does have work and university but even back then when he was busy, he'd like... Message me in between.
But then again, I can't just act like he's the only one at fault here (maybe he isn't even at fault and it's all in my head). I also feel like I should start to initiate things more. Maybe I'm showing signs of disinterest by delaying my response time whenever he messages me (my brain works in weird ways. Like, when I like someone, I feel like responding right away is gonna scare them off, because I don't wanna be clingy or needy or whatever which is really, really stupid, but I can't help it), and not messaging him first. Maybe he thinks, "Oh God, maybe she's not interested in me?"
Maybe my own messaging pattern has changed and he senses that, because I can tell you I was quicker with responses back then myself.
Maybe I'm the one who needs to do better (I know I should do better, honestly), so I'm thinking of asking him out on the picnic date we talked about; see if he's still up for it and gauge his interest that way. Am I worried about being rejected? Yeah, because damn, I like him, so that's gonna sting more if he isn't really interested anymore. We'll see if I'm actually gonna do that, knowing how much of a coward I am. This bitch can kiss someone but can't ask someone out lmfao.
I've just been moping about it for the past few days and spiralling about it and that's why I hate liking someone because this is what my overanxious brain decides to do whenever I like someone: overthink.
And like - I need to do something about it, and if it means I get the closure/answer I need then so be it.
Maybe these seven months of trying to find someone has taken its toll on me and if this falls through then I'll just... You know. Fucking sit back and stop finding someone and maybe hope for a meet cute in real life because I'm sick and tired of this shit. (I probably won't, I'm still holding out hope at this point.)
Maybe I'm just burnt the fuck out, you know?
I get over someone (who I've liked for seven fucking months, but they turn out to be a complete red flag) by liking someone else, but at what cost? My emotional well being, that's what.
My emotions are all over the place, my monthly visitor is here so maybe that's fucking me up even more, and I just want someone to hold so I can cry into their shirt or something because I'm SO DONE.
I just want someone to call mine but apparently that's a very hard ask, and seeing people holding hands and being cute on the streets... Like damn bitch, I want that too. And it feels like I'll never get that.
And also, most importantly, I also need to invest in a therapist because God knows I need one after everything.
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hi cy!!!! 🎵 Tell me about 5 songs you actually listen to. Proceed and send this to 5 people 😌🎵
ZIP!! Hello my beloved friend. ❤️❤️ A lot of songs I listen to are in oc or fic playlists lol. Bc I listen to music a lot when writing or working on art. Also so sorry for rambling, I just really enjoy listening to music.
Glitter & Gold by Barns Courtney Love this song. I don't know how to describe it but it gives me such cowboy walking through life kinda vibes lol. It's in Ann's playlist because I think it suits her very well during the era of after order 66 and her being a bounty hunter while finding her Jedi path again. Always loved and listen to this song before Ann too, it just suits her well.
The Mystic by Adam Jensen I like this song a lot. The beat is awesome and very in your face. I love that about it. The song's about the singer's struggles while growing up and living in Boston. A very heart filled and powerful song with a catchy beat. It's also in Ann's playlist.
"i'm yours" by Isabel LaRosa This song is in my Ann & Boba playlist. So I listen to it a lot when writing and working on their fic. It gives such pinning vibes in general. But I like picturing Ann and Boba to it during their "we're a thing but also not" phase. Where they so obviously want each other and where their souls are already intertwined together beyond belief, but are still just crossing that boundary line of being something more. Wanting that deeper connection.
God Must Hate Me by Catie Turner As someone with religious trauma this song really hits it in the feels for me, and the singer just delivers it in such a beautiful and heart wrenching way. The song is about the singers insecurities and how they felt god hated them. I related to the song similarly but more in a queer and trans person with religious trauma way to be more specific, which is how I actually found it because it went around trans tiktok for a bit lol. I was actually Christian growing up. I'm not religious now. I'd consider myself atheist I think. I don't believe in an god or any spiritual being. I just kind of think we were a creation of the natural world and meant to be apart of its life cycle just like any other living creature. But of course even though I don't believe in god now, there's still that little girl in me who never understand why god couldn't make her normal like everyone else. And this song really hits those feelings in me deeply.
The Good Life by Three Days Grace I wasn't sure what song to pick by Three Days Grace because I listen to a lot of their music. I have pretty much all their CDS and have most of their stuff saved to my Spotify. They were one of my favourite bands growing up because there was never I song I disliked from them. Even when they switched singers. I still listen to a lot of their songs, both new and old.
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HELLO ROTOMBLR!!
It's your favorite MewTube Paleontologist Power-Couple, finally making an account on a social media site that isn't MewTube!
This is Taire- if you couldn't tell by my charming energetics (AKA Arnie didn't feel like making our introduction post lol).
I figure some of you don't really know who we are, if you don't find this blog from our description links, so why not talk about it real quick?
As I've said before, I'm Taire! I use he/him pronouns, and I'm 27 years old. Which, in my opinion, is actually not that old because I've worked with rocks older than uh. literally humanity? I have three Pokemon-
Rafflesia the Venusaur (She/her)
Geode the Sandslash (They/them)
Onoi the Omastar (They/them)
Here's my trainer card:
Arnie uses they/he pronouns, and is 26! He is like. My favorite person in the whole wide world and I love him so so so much and YES me gushing about him is a regular occurrence irl and in private. They also have three Pokemon-
Pablo the Torterra (They/them)
Grey the Aggron (They/Them)
Shelley the Carracosta (She/her)
Here's their trainer card:
We've been doing MewTube for about 3 years now, and married for 5! We work for an organization called The New Epoch Foundation as, you guessed it, paleontologists! The goal of the organization is to help further scientific research and runs mostly on donations! I might also end up as their head of social media because of the stuff we do on MewTube, we'll just have to see!
Of course, we can't forget about Baby Helix, we had them about a year ago and we love them so so much. We don't really post pictures of them, but maybe in the future? We aren't like. A family vlogging channel anyways (chills). We'll both sign off our posts!
Feel free to send us asks and pelipper mail! I'm hoping to be able to interact with the fans more this way :)
Hi! Mod here, just call me Vessel! ooc text from me will be red
My other blog is @canesvenatici-ribbons! But this blog is going to be more plot-based than slice of life ;)
A couple of ground rules:
1- I operate on DND and Improv rules: "yes and" and be respectful to other players.
That doesn't mean NO anon hate or whatever, it just means that if someone is playing a character in a way that makes me uncomfortable, I'm probably not going to interact with you. If the anon hate is egregious I'm going to stop responding to it, etc.
Typically I try to just go "yes and" to stuff, it's more fun to me that way and adds a layer of unpredictability to my stories- BUT- please DM me if you want to do BIG plot stuff (I don't bite!)
But if something makes me uncomfortable I won't do it, feel free to ask prior though if you want confirmation! If it's like. An overly dark subject matter I probably won't do it though.
2- No Magic anons or anon hate related to their identities please!
This is my one hard-stop! everything else like sentient pokemon, pelipper mail, regular anons, anon hate, is all fine right now!
3- Feel free to remind me to respond to a post or ask if I haven't gotten to it in about two days! I'm a college student and I'm really busy. I do this mostly for fun but I do really appreciate reminders. adhd brain
4- I want to confirm this rq cause I know people will ask about it- Helix is their biological child, one of them is trans but no actual like. Pregnancy is gonna be shown or mentioned on this blog because they think it's funny to keep it up in the air on who had Helix or if Helix is adopted. Trans families (no matter what kind) and seahorse dads are just. Very important to me as I am a trans guy/trans masc who wants kids myself one day. I expect you all to be respectful and mature about this. People who make M///pr///eg jokes and/or comments will be blocked and deleted.
Literally it's only funny with people I'm close with so if I don't know you, don't do that. This is my one other hard stop
Asks about who had Helix though- and speculation on if Helix is adopted, is encouraged and very funny!
I do plan on having actual references for the family done up at some point, I just haven't had the time or resources for it quite yet. But for now, here are their picrews + short add on descriptions! (Minus Baby Helix)
Taire:
Blue, Feathery hair, Oddly sharp teeth
Red, scaley patches of skin has grown in the three years of making videos- they started out small and almost unnoticeable and now it's beginning to take up their face.
Arnie:
DO NOT let this picrew fool you. Arnie is a large fat man. They also have a full beard that is not pictured.
Hair has turned white in the past few years. Blue Patch of skin over eye and looks strangely smooth, has only appeared since last year
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Nosy Asks
7, 13, 14, 20, 28
7: Have tattoos? Yes! One on my shoulder for now but I'm thinking about getting more. It's just such a decision. (It's a supernatural tattoo, but not the one you would expect lol)
13: Biggest turn ons - It's gonna sound trite but confidence. Seriously nothing is better than knowing that someone is going to feel comfortable voicing themselves. Then I can relax and be myself ya know?
14: Biggest turn offs - Refusing to just tell me if something is wrong between us. I don't have the patience for that anymore.
20: What I hate most about myself - I hate the way I get hung up on stuff that doesn't matter. I've been through real scary traumatic stuff that I handle way better than a slightly awkward interaction at Walmart. Idk it just sucks.
28: A description of the person I dislike the most - Again this kinda feels like a cop out, but genuinely I am trying to not be too terrible to people. But there is a group of people that have no qualms about swinging on. They are a pile of assholes who have decided that the solution to their discomfort and existential dread is to make reality bend to their will, their "facts". There's a lot of those shit stains to pick for the one that I dislike the most. There's the epicenter, a traitorous bastard whose crimes are too numerous to list. There's the one who helped get him there with funds generated selling World of Warcraft items and gold. There are various horrible little gatekeepers. There's the literal cultist they put on the Supreme Court next to the literal rapist. It's all bad though.
Send me an ask?
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i am sorry if this sounds like i'm sending this in bad faith i know it sounds a bit rude but i swear i'm not trying to be. i'm genuinely curious about your reasoning behind this. (im a dorlene fan myself and idc about rosekiller).
don't you think it's a bit hypocritical shipping dorlene but saying you hate rosekiller bc they're nobodies in canon? i mean, arguably we have more canon info on barty than any of the other three together. or is there more to it that i'm missing?
lol no worries i will do my best 2 answer <3
so, a hypocrite/hypocrisy is essentially telling people that u think they should behave in a certain way/conform to a certain moral standard when u urself do not. if i was telling people, "you shouldn't enjoy shipping characters when there's very little canon info about them," and then i shipped dorlene, that would be hypocritical. but i'm always very clear that i'm not trying to enforce any standards on what people should or shouldn't ship, and that when i'm ranting about ships i hate it is simply my own personal preference + me having fun being a hater on my silly little tumblr blog, y'know? like, i usually throw in a little disclaimer somewhere going "ship what u want, it doesn't matter, i just don't like this ship, etc etc," just bc i know people get weird about their ships in this fandom and it just. genuinely does not matter 2 me if there are people out there in the world shipping rosekiller. like u do ur thing! just....do it far away from me lol.
also, i mean. although all those characters don't have much canon information, there are pretty significant differences in the canon information we do have about them. i usually just don't really get into this as a reason bc i don't want it to sound like i'm moralizing, becase, again, i genuinely do not care and do not think it's like...morally bad if someone wants to ship rosekiller. but! for the sake of explaining why i, personally, love dorlene + hate rosekiller, here are some differences:
in canon, the only thing we know about evan is that he's a death eater who blew off part of moody's nose (? i think. or was it his eye?) before moody killed him. that backstory holds....zero interest to me. i don't find it compelling. and if ur just plucking the name out of that and erasing all canon backstory...well. i also do not find that compelling.
similarly, while barty crouch jr. has more canon info than any of these other three characters, everything we know about him is that he is a very avid death eater and clear villain. personally, i'm not that interested in exploring his character! i think there's certainly potential for a story about how he got to that point, sure, but....idk. i'm not really interested in it. and i'm even less interested if, again, we're just erasing all that canon info and making him an oc....like, sure, go ahead and do that if u want. i just don't want to!
marlene's canon backstory is that she was a member of the order whose entire family was murdered. dorcas's backstory is that she was a member of the order who voldemort killed himself. what got me interested in them as characters was the headcanon that tied those backstories together, that dorcas went hunting for revenge after marlene's death and ultimately voldemort had to take her out because she did so much damage. i thought that was interesting! i found it compelling! it planted a seed in my brain that grew an entire massive story, and now i will love those characters forever simply because i spent so much time playing paper dolls with them in my head.
also, if ur handing me two blank-slate pairs of characters to ship, and one says GAY and one says LESBIAN and the rest is all fill in the blanks....well call me crazy boys but i'm gonna pick lesbian every time i think. that's just the way we roll over here at rollercoasterwords.tumblr.com <3
#in conlusion it's just fun to hate on things sometimes!#and me disliking rosekiller isn't me telling anyone else they can't or shouldn't like it#in fact i advocate for everyone liking whatever the fuck they want in this fandom#it's just that u gotta find ur own corner where u have a little circle of friends + mutuals + u can have fun liking the same things#and hating on the same things#and sometimes arguing when u disagree#ask
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