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kakusu-shipping · 2 years

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Like an open book

It is 4:30am, my Air Conditioning unit sounds like a washing machine on full power, and it is simply impossible to sleep, so let’s write a Nook X Reader, hm?

Tom Nook X Island Rep/GN!Reader

In which you eat dirt

“I see you...innocently running in a great field...”

“They respond right away this time...”

Another quiet day was slowly winding to a close outside Resident Services windows as Tom Nook relaxed back into his chair, stretching his paws over the desk.

Across from him, his peppy assistant Isabelle was taking the down time to catch up on some novel one of the residents had recommended to her. Just watching her expressions, Nook had picked up the plot considerably. It was a romance, never too steamy and hardly sweet, somewhere near the middle the main hunk had betrayed the story’s maiden in some major way, and now, three chapters to the end, he way dying.

Tom was never sure if he was just remarkable at reading faces, or if young Isabelle was just too easy to read. He’d wondered if he was once that expressive, wearing a story on his face and he walked naively through life.

Looking back, it was probably fine that he had, and would have been better if he’d continued to do so.

Movement outside the front window pulled Nook from memory lane; The Island Rep was whizzing through the main plaza, a to-go coffee from Brooster’s in one hand, a gift from one resident to another in the other.

Now that was youth, Tom thought to himself, acting to stretch as he stood and made way to get closer to the window. The rep had practically built this island with their own two hands, and now spent their time running from one corner to the next, filling the museum with every bug, fish, fossil, and painting they could get their hands on.

They were quiet the feat, weren’t they? So vibrant, goal oriented, and caring to the other residents. They didn’t complain about the ludicrous amount of work assigned to them. If Nook were a younger man, he might have helped share that burden more evenly, spent less time in the tent and more time in the grass pulling weeds, planting flowers, and picking fruit.

Tom was once again snapped from past regrets by swift movement out the window. Still hot coffee spilled across the brick of the square, seeping into a gift wrapped apology gift that would probably have to be returned to the sender.

The Island Rep lay face down in the center of the square, still and flat. No one else was around to see them trip and catch the ground with their face, only Nook, who stood frozen at the window.

“Mr. Nook? What happened?” Isabelle half closed her book and looked up, sensing the sudden stillness.

Tom didn’t answer, instead rushing as fast as his old but not quiet middle aged old joints were willing to let him go. Isabelle, who’d at most seen Nook pretend race walk after his boys, was reasonably startled by his hurry, and quickly followed him.

Outside, the Rep had finally recovered enough to start pushing themselves up on their hands. Tom stood by to offer assistance, a quiet “Are you okay?” on his lips, though overly concerned thoughts of bruised ribs and knocked out teeth ran through his head at mach speed. They didn’t have a doctor on the island, why didn’t they have a doctor on the island?

The Island Rep pushed themselves to their feet, smiling and waving off Nook, “I’m fine, I’m fine” They said, which was simply not true, as it normally isn’t when one catches themselves on rough stone chin first.

Tom was rather surprised Isabelle hadn’t shrieked loud enough to alarm the entire island.

The Rep’s chin was gashed, bleeding down on their shirt. The cut matched their smile, wide and red and prominently centered in the face. It was the kind of wound that’d probably need stitches, not something one should just walk away with.

Which they almost did, mind you.

The Rep laughed off their fall and thanked Nook for checking on them all while picking up the trashed to-go coffee cup and delivery. If the adrenaline from the fall had worn off, they sure didn’t show it, as they continued on about having to bring the gift back to it’s sender, the clothing inside completely ruined with coffee.

“m-Mayor...” Isabelle looked as though she might faint, which was a fair reaction to have to such a mess on their peaceful town, “Y-You-r.. Your ch-chin...”

The Rep, or as Isabelle may address them as a left over from their previous town together, The Mayor, began to reach up to their chin, a question on their face. Tom stepped in quicker than expected, pressing his personal pocket hankie to the wound instead. The Island Rep flinched at the pressure.

So they can feel pain. That’s a good sign, probably.

“Hold this here.” Tom Nook spoke in a tone that held no room for argument, as his rep did as they were told, pressing the cloth into their chin with enough force to stop the bleeding.

“Isabelle,” Nook addressed, the younger jumping to attention, finally taking her eyes off their mayor, “Can you handle resident services alone for a bit? I’m going to take the rep to the HHP island, they have a hospital there.”

The words of protest started on the rep’s lips, and were stopped dead in their tracks by a look from Tom. They swallowed, and looked anywhere by at Nook, shifting the cloth on their chin.

“O-Oh. Y-Yes I will be fine!” Isabelle stood to attention and saluted, eyes shut firmly in a fit of determination.

Tom nodded and placed a paw on his rep’s shoulder, turning them to the airport, “I’m counting on you. And please return this if you have a moment.” He spoke, handing Isabelle the ruined present the Rep had been delivering.

Isabelle nodded, taking the coffee soaked gift, “I’ve got it! Have a safe flight!” She waved, beaming with confidence at being left alone in Resident Service.

Nook never took his paw off The Island Representative’s, his representive, your shoulder as he spoke to Orville about booking a flight. The flightless bird having much the same reaction as Isabelle to the gash in your chin, which you’d shown him unprompted by uncovering Nook’s kerchief just enough when Orville caught your eye.

On the plane his paw was on your knee, then thigh, into your hand. The whole time his leg bounced as he stared out the window. You wondered what kind of crazy nerves were rattling in that fuzzy head of his. What loops was he taking himself through scared for you, the island, poor Isabelle and Orville. What would Lottie say, he must be asking himself.

Perhaps he was planning to have the pavement in the plaza evened out, shaved down, or even pay to have it full repaved more flat. No more loose, uneven bricks, smooth clean concrete. But that wouldn’t look very pretty would it? And it would take time, and bells, and inconvenience those who needed Resident Services at all hours.

You leaned ever so slightly onto Nook, holding his paw between your fingers, watching him mentally go over every possible option to make sure a disaster like this never happens again, that everyone involved was properly compensated, and that you, oh so important you, recovered comfortably so you could be back on your feet, sprinting from here to there however you pleased as soon as possible.

“I see you...innocently running in a great field...” Katrina’s fortune from this morning played in your head as you closed your eyes, “I see a lost seagull sailor in need of help...” She’d said. You didn’t quiet understand at the time. Luck in Friendship, Misfortune in Health.

With Tom Nook’s paw finally relaxing in your hand, the flight calming the Tanuki’s anxieties, you supposed now it made a bit more sense.

#Emile's Writing #Tom Nook X Reader #Animal Crossing X Reader #Finish time: 5:30am #WHOLE ASS HOUR BABY I HAVE THINGS TO DO TOMORROW #This is now where I thought I'd be tonight but I could not stop thinking about face planting it in Animal Crossing anymore #My Yandere Nook thoughts have left my brain I am on about to have an internal panic attack at all times Nook now #APPARENTLY #Old man Nook thinks he's so stoic and old and worn out #He's just the same 'ol Nook #Still over bearing and caring and considerate and a little in his own head about things #He's getting better he's getting better but her certainly thinks he's past his prime #'You could do better than an old worn out Tanuki like me' he'd say #He doesn't see the way he lights up at every big accomplishment you two share in #He doesn't hear his laugh with your ears or see his smile with your eyes #He sees a worn old man who spent his youth hating a world that's tricked him #'It's rotten work' 'Not to me. Not if it's you.'#I'm sorry I'm having weirdly soft for Tom Nook hours tonight it's almost 5:40 now I have to go to Church in the morning with this brain #My AC was making a scary noise alright???

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musicalsiphonophore · 8 months

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why does the world seem to be getting more sexist man. WHY. girl math and the roman empire and girls getting told that if they don't change their name for marriage they won't be a good wife, (real conversation I overheard the other day between two teenage girls, "Well if I was a man that'd be a dealbreaker. I wouldn't marry you if you wouldn't change your name" WHAT THE FUCK MA'AM), and what's worse, all of this stuff seems to have been caused by women and girls

jesus christ, can anybody actually fit socially expected femaleness at this point?

I wanna opt out of the gender binary please

#let me enjoy maths / physics and be serious and hate shopping and hate makeup and lack emotional skills and be a nerd and not shave and #and keep my last name and be academically clever and socially stupid and fuck as much or as little as I want and dress how I want and #and not understand jokes and ugly cry and ugly laugh and have a stupid sense of humour and and and and and everything about me!!#all these things that I could do if I was a boy / man and it'd be more socially accepted #i see it with the “popular” kids at my school. The “popular” girls are all serious and put together and good at talking and the “popular”#boys have a much wider range of stuff they can be. They can mess about #and dress weirdly and say stupid things and they will still be popular. But girls can't.#FUCKIN SEXIST!!!!

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karinyosa · 9 months

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one realization i’ve had is that a lot of the models for masculinity and/or manhood that i kind of gravitated to when i was younger were not the most typically masculine. it’s weird having things in common with other transmascs but also very clearly going for different things. like i feel a kinship with you but sometimes i think we’re not quite the same. also been a reminder of like what kid me was actually going for when i dressed and acted The Way i Did in middle school

#persolaise perfumes singlehandedly saved me by looking and acting like he does #the first video of his that i watched he was reacting to this scent that’d been marketed with the phrase ‘’for real men’’#he was like put off but trying to give it a chance #and he made this joke about having lost his real man card a long time ago or something #and i was like HAAAAA . love you #me.txt #anyway i was watching this trans guy podcast and they were like averagely masculine men and it was like #hm i think we have different priorities kind of. like i have a feeling we wouldn’t completely relate kfhdkfn #it wasn’t a feeling of exclusion just an awareness of difference #they were talking specifically about wanting to feel manly and like had mildly sort of touched on and laughed about that in sort of #an inside joke way. and i was like WOW i like would not care about that at all. like i don’t think i’ve ever worried much about manliness #passing certainly but not that as far as i can remember #and it took me back to being weirdly drawn to like. floop from spy kids and people like that and i was like hm. there’s something there #i say that and then dress the way i do in my selfies kdbsksh #for me it’s more of a mannerism and presentation thing than anything else i think #like persolaise truly was a reminder that like. oh yes i can speak and act like that and dress fun and still be a man #truly it’s just that i was drawn heavily towards queercoded male characters like i think that’s a lot of it #i guess i have worried about manliness in some ways but it’s never really been something i’ve aimed for #the closest thing would be like. gentlemanly fkdhdknd #or something along those lines #anyway some men just click for me in terms of people i can kind of reference myself to and it’s like #often a pleasant surprise when it happens #alan cumming and persolaise are very much on that list #another essay in the tags

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heartshapedtrap · 1 year

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just hung out w friends for five hours and feltso full of whimsy I could pass out <333 I miss them so bad already but I get to see them tomorrow tooooo

#like it wasn’t even planned we just talked on the phone then met up at **** house chatted while our other two friends made us friendship #bracelets and watched the cat be silly with a bowl of water that was like two hours of us doing that #then agroup car ride (I love when we do this sm it’s like my favorite part when we hang out) skin to skin in a tiny fucking car laughing #talking listening to music on our way to Taco Bell then rode around taking scenic routes b4 gas station break to like pee n buy snacks :33 #flicked up another scenic route went to the epic park w the cool playground n reminisced about how it felt like being a kid again at 1am #I’m convinced all these fuckers are neurodivergent bc not one of them can go without stemming and ***** fucking climbing on top of the every #single thing LMFAO doing backflips off of swings and stuff too I had like an insane amount of whatever bc I skipped like the entire time #just to idk be silly and **** joined in :))) switches seats in the car and went to another park then rode in the car again to more scenic #routes and all the way back to **** house to get our stuff and each driveour cars back home <3 #we group hugged at the epic park and the moment was so surreal bc we all were close to crying especially ******* like I love my fwends sm i #cannot even properly describe how happy they make me feel like sonearnestly so #I weirdly felt closer to ***** tonight too probably bc we indulged **** antics together and were skin to skin in the backseat of the car #like having to fasten each others seatsbelt his arm awkwardly behind me n out the window that close n how alike we are…#OH WAIT him and **** buzzed their hair like days before n it really hit me that I haven’t seen him w shirt hair since I’ve first known him #when we all were once coworkers together and it’s like a fond memory now and crazy to think about how we’ve all grown together as friends #ok done being sappy now b4 I actually fucking cry like eyes are on the brink as I type :p #*#personal #heartshapedtrap #can y’all tell I left my journal at home… and needed to like remember how happy I’ve felt since seeing friends <3 #omggg i forgot to mention how they all cheered and were like happy for me during the scenic car ride that I’m almost certain im lesbian #still unsure of myself but I think that’s probably the closest label idk I just feel really happy that they support me nomatter what yaknow

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ihaventsleptinweekz · 6 months

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Sometimes I think I'm a normal person then the 11 pm thought kicks in and suddenly I'm insane

#Going to mildly and vaugly vent in the tags to buckle up ^_^#Will not clarify on any of this because it's more fun not to. Hope that helps #Anyway I'm kind of just. Weirded out by myself rn. Like I'm fine but I'm side-eyeing myself a little bit #And recently I've been believing thay I think really I was more immature a year ago #and while I do think back at her (year ago me) and kinda laugh at her for being overdramatic I feel kinda bad about it because yknow I was #But then I got kind of weirdly slowed down? In my being less freaked out process #Mostly because of Hellenite everyone say thank you hellenite (sarcastic love those fics so much)#But reading the fic kind of reminded me of the emotions that were going on at that time #And while I don't really miss or regret what happened too much anymore I think the general emotions of it started popping up again #Like idk how to say this but I'm over IT as a whole- but the emotions are still kinda left over?#Man really do NOT know how to put this #Cause it's kinda old news and frankly I am wildly happy with where I am right now #And I'm kind of thankful?? But also just a little :I about the whole thing. Which is making me inwardly side-eyeish #And I do think that I probably wouldn't change much if I could- and honestly I'm a little more embarrassed than anything else #Sorry for the weird long rambling tags just didn't want to call either of the like- maybe 3 friends I'd consider bringing this up with #I probably should check in with them though #Ough and I have work to do tmrw #Ew ew ew ew #Feel like this week has gone too damn fast and also not fast enough lmao #I'm also kinda nervous because I might have to take the ASL placement test soon to see if I qualify for skipping a couple ASL classes #Which would be nice cause I would LOVE to graduate quicker #And with all the AP classes I took in high-school it'd be nice to knock a bit of time off my college thing #Although admittedly I DID get that scholarship so it couldn't hurt???#It might actually give me more time to get EIPA certified and check out some internships??#Which would make getting jobs out of college WAY easier #Although maybe it'd be easier to get NIC certified if I retook a couple classes instead of trying to skip them??? God maybe I'd be behind #Ofc that wouldn't be a thing until after college #I'll probably have to save up money soon to start thinking about taking the test since it's so damn hard and so damn expensive #At least from what other interpreters have told me #Which is good!!! The it being hard thing anyways. Makes sure Deaf people get GOOD interpreters thst they deserve!!

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d1anna · 1 year

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i love having the weirdest dreams napping on the couch

#not really but #my first dream i started to lucid dream while we were walking through a parking lot #i started to fly and the dream was glitching as i realized i was dreaming and it kind of freaked me out so i just forced myself to wake up #but then the second dream was also weird #my parents and i were driving through the old rich side of town at night and we pulled into the parking lot of this bed and breakfast place #and we got out and it seemed normal albeit dark to me but my mom seemed scared and kept telling my dad she heard someone laughing #we got up to our room and my dad went to go do something so it was just me and my mom #we were also rooming with this guy for some reason but he was nice #i was just sitting on a chair and the guy was walking to the door when suddenly the door opened and he was like who’s there #and the person at the door was silent for a bit before closing it really quickly and saying sorry #the guy was like uhh 🤷‍♀️ idk what just happened my #and my mom was like go shut the door but when i went to shut it it had all of these contraptions and mechanisms #it was strange and then my dad was like let me back in and so i did and he talked to my mom for a bit about the strange things going on #he said the old owner liked to collect antiques and stuff and he thinks the place is haunted #my mom was like well i told you that i heard laughing in the parking lot #then guy that we were sharing the room with comes out of his room with bandages all over his face and i’m like what #my mom says something to him and then another guy (the same guy from before) comes out looking just like him just without bandages #and my mom is like i can help and i was like what #the guy takes off his bandages and he’s like it’s my teeth #but also side note i was weirdly struck by how handsome he was for an older man #but then my dream decided to focus on my mom like twisting and fixing his teeth into the right place #weirdly enough i wasn’t freaked out by it but it was just interesting #anyway that’s my dream i need to stop napping on that couch #dianna.moon

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loverboybreakdowns · 1 year

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nothing worse than repeatedly, clearly telling your family how much something hurts you. bringing up every time they do it how uncomfortable this makes you and what an important boundary it is to you. and yet they still keep doing it and treating it like some funny little joke.

#i know this shouldnt be a big deal.#but my mom and sister constantly take videos pictures etc of me #i really really dont like being filmed #i explain to them every time they do it (probably about twice a day on average) how upset it makes me #especially because its usually things like filming me dancing or taking pictures of me sitting weirdly #so they can send them to their friends #and mock me #(not conjecture or paranoia they literally tell me thats what they do with them)#and. its such a small thing #and it really shouldnt be this big a deal #i know that #but on the other hand #if its so unimportant #why is it so hard for them to not do it?#why dont they just stop #there is literally no way they dont know how much it hurts me #that they take situations in which im happy and comfortable and make them something to be self conscious or embarrassed about #i tell them.every time. i have explained to them so many times how hurtful it is.#so the only possibility at this point is that they are deliberately hurting me just be a they think its funny #my happiness my comfort my ability to unmask partly in my own home all matter less than a cheap laugh #tags are a personal vent but main post ok to rb

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love-you-like-the-movies · 7 months

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Thinking about last night being at the park with Mountain Boy. And he was teasing me so I hit him with ‘Hey, you chose to date me’

And he paused for a moment, then pulled me closer and in a very assured voice just goes ‘Yeah and it was a pretty damn good choice’

And like!!!!!!!! Aaahhhhhhh!!!!!!! All I could do was snuggle more into him?!??!! Like words stopped functioning. Brain nonexistent. Just hug.

Do I know how to express to him how loved that small moment made me feel? Not at all. But god I think Im in love with this guy

#do I understand whats going on with my romantic orientation? not at alll #like. a few weeks ago I was still like ‘oh this is nice but also I dont really feel very different’#and over the last couple of weeks its just been a weirdly slow build of affection??#like I’ve gone through the whole spike/not spike thing with him over the last few years #but idk #maybe being in a relationship is different?#hes a constant #his attention and affection is a constant #im not trying to convince myself that he doesnt like me or that Im not worth someone putting effort in #and its just #nice?#I feel attached to him #I want to be with him and laugh with him and lay with him #I want to know him in ways I’ve never cared about before #I want to be by his side even when he struggles #I want to cheer him up #I want to have silly goody sleep overs with him #I just want to be held by him while I fall asleep #is this what love is?#is this what *real* love is?

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andivmg · 3 months

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My experience with Luke (Punz)

CW: toxic relationship, racism, dubious consent

I know in the past i said that i would no longer speak about him publicly, and when talking about my experiences with abuse and emotional mistreatment i begged to keep it anonymous but after reflecting on this for a week and seeing so many incredibly smart and strong women tell their stories. they have given me the strength to say his name.

this is really scary to talk about because of the copious levels of harassment i have received from his fans in the past so if this spreads or gets out of hand i will simply log off.

If you read my last post, i nicknamed him 1.

So aside from everything i said there, there were a lot of things i didn’t include because they would’ve made it obvious that it was him and it could potentially backfire on me so, i’m very afraid to post this. but i’m going to do it scared anyway, because it’s not fair that he gets to just go and live his life worry-free as if he didn’t practically ruin mine.

Because I already made a very lengthy post about him, i won’t include everything i said last time to avoid being redundant but if i repeat myself, please bear with me.

In our year long relationship i had to endure emotional neglect, gaslighting, verbal abuse, one instance where there was dubious consent, and much more.

Starting off at the beginning of our relationship, that’s when i was getting copious amounts of hate and harassment from his fan base (warranted or not), he decided that our relationship must be kept private. he said it was to “protect” me from his fanbase when in reality it was to protect himself. it was so he wouldn’t get all the backlash i was getting. this is funny because one of the things i got called out for was saying the B slur (derogatory term used against mexicans/latinos). I won’t get into the nuances of if i could say it or not as a puertorican because that’s discourse that does not pertain to this specific situation. But you know who definitely can’t say it? A white boy from Massachusetts. When i was getting cancelled for this and getting thousands of tweets calling me names, he decided that was the perfect time to say “I mean you are a b***** aren’t you? my little b*****.” Now, he said this completely unprompted. I was in the process of writing my apology and he just said that. I tell you this because i immediately shut him down and told him that there was no universe in which it was okay for him to say that word and especially not one where he could just call me that. While i was reprimanding him, he was smiling and laughing. he apparently found it amusing to call me a slur. regardless, he gave me a half-assed apology and said he wouldn’t do it again. and he didn’t. but this wasn’t the only time he was weirdly racist to me. this was my first time being in an interracial relationship so i was led to believe that this was normal by all the white people around me at the time. But, sometimes my spanish accent would come out and he would make fun of me and the way i pronounced some words. He also refused to visit me in Puerto Rico when i lived there or come meet my family when i really wanted him to because he “didn’t like the heat” or “it’s dangerous there isn’t it?”. Once, while we were watching season 2 of Bridgerton, he implied that the Sharma sisters were “too dark” for him to be attracted to them. This hurt me because they are brown skinned girls. I am a brown skinned girl. Then this, combined with the fact that he told me once he wasn’t attracted to me made me feel like my skin color was unattractive. These are only a few examples i can think of at the moment, but i’m sure there were more. Our relationship ended in 2022 so some of my memory is a bit hazy. But, I do remember feeling inferior to him throughout the relationship because he was white and I was not. I chalk that up to all the micro aggressions i had to deal with because i had never felt that way around white people before.

Another thing i had to endure was him constantly making me feel like he was embarrassed to be with me. Because i was cancelled, he didn’t want to associate with me too much. He did defend me on multiple occasions, I’ll give him that. But, he only did it because his name was getting dragged in the mud along with mine. Excusing my actions made him look better for being around me. In reality he didn’t really care. Because he was such a big content creator and someone i looked up to professionally, I took his advice as law. He told me to tone down my personality, to keep a low profile, to change things about myself to be more palatable to his audience. The same audience that spoke about me like “The pussy can’t be that good punz please stop defending her”. So i changed a lot of things about myself and my content to better suit what his audience liked. He made me feel like if his audience liked me, he would be public about our relationship and stop hiding it. He told me the reason why he wanted to keep our relationship a secret was because he didn’t want to get hate for it. But this wasn’t true. On my 20th birthday he went to Las Vegas for a twitch rivals event. That night i asked to facetime him to say goodnight and he refused because he was at a hotel room with his friends and he didn’t want them to know that we were together. It was as if my mere presence or the utterance of my name was a source of embarrassment for him. And he didn’t let me forget it. It wasn’t just a public thing at that point. He didn’t want people to know we were together, period. This was devastating to me because I would talk to all my friends about him. I was so proud to be with him and I was just one more problem to him. He made me feel so small and insignificant just because his fans didn’t like me.

He would berate me a lot. Not just due to getting heat online, although he did do that a lot. But in general whenever we would get into an argument or a disagreement he would always call me names like annoying or weird or stupid. He would raise his voice at me if i did something he didn’t like and call me an idiot. And that really hurt, i felt like i couldn’t bring up anything or do anything without getting insulted. If I hadn’t seen him in a few days because he was too busy streaming and i asked to hang out he would call me needy, clingy, and annoying. Granted, he might not have been wrong, but that is not something you say to someone you claim to love. He also insulted me when i was in depressive episodes. I have BPD and at the time i was not being treated properly for it. So, I was all over the place emotionally and he was what i clung to for validation, reassurance, and love. I talked to him when we first started dating about my disorder and told him that if it seemed like something he couldn’t handle that he could opt out of the relationship. I guess he didn’t think it was that bad or something idk because whenever i had really bad depressive episodes, he would tell me I was too sad to hang out with. He said that my sadness was a burden to him. Which would be fair. But, once my mother had a conversation with him about me. She told him that i am someone who needs a lot of love and caring. She said that if he wasn’t willing to put in that kind of effort into a relationship to just leave me alone. He reassured her that he would be there for me no matter what. He told my mother that he would protect me and my heart. He did not. He took all the warnings I gave him and ignored them and then made me feel like I was the problem. And even worse, he would say that i was pretending to be sad to get his attention when he would neglect for days at a time.

There were also some smaller things like the fact that he made me feel really guilty whenever he would spend money on me. Also, he would be really mean about my eating habits. For context, i used to suffer from an eating disorder. I was anorexic and had a really unhealthy relationship with food during high school and my first year of uni. This relationship began when i was recovering from my ED. For me, eating was really hard. So i had certain comfort foods that, while sometimes unhealthy, at least it was something to eat when i didn’t feel like eating anything. He knew this. Yet, whenever i would crave some of these foods he would call me fat. Constantly told me I’d gain weight from eating all that junk food. Saying that to someone with an eating disorder is crazy. Other smaller things were that whenever I would post tiktoks where i was lip syncing or just looking good he would yell at me and say i was looking for attention. Same with Instagram or Twitter whenever i would post photos where I looked hot. He never planned out a single date for us. I would beg him to get me flowers and he did maybe once but i’ll get into that in a bit. He would make fun of me in front of his friends to make himself look better. He let his friends say really degrading things about me in his presence. For example, once when i was showering, i overheard him on a discord call with George and Sapnap and i heard George say “if you don’t go in the shower and have sex with Andi, i will”. Once, when i was really struggling with my legs (for those of you who don’t know, i have arthritis and it’s very painful. at the time i wasn’t diagnosed but i was in a lot of pain) I literally could not walk. I had to beg him to take me to the ER because i didn’t know what was wrong with me. He didn’t want to take me but eventually i convinced him, and while we were there all he did was complain about how long it was taking and that he would have rather been at home streaming. Whenever I would talk about my interests that i was excited about like shows or books he would be incredibly uninterested and say that those things were stupid and he didn’t want to hear about them. I know all of these seem very silly or superficial but cumulatively it was awful.

Now for arguably the most serious thing i’m going to talk about. I want to preface this by saying i am just telling my side of what happened. You can come to your own conclusions about this.

On April 25, 2022 it was our one year anniversary, and i had made a dinner reservation for us. I expected him to plan something throughout the day for us to do. He told me he was going to spend the whole day playing Valorant so I got upset and cancelled the reservation. After a very heated argument, we calmed down and i asked him to come over. He came over about an hour later with flowers and drinks (I was 20 at the time so I couldn’t buy the drinks myself). He brought Smirnoffs and Trulys. For context, I am a lightweight. I always have been. I literally get tipsy on half a cocktail. And that day, I hadn’t eaten anything because i was in distress over our argument. So we get to talking and drinking. I blacked out after my second Smirnoff. Apparently I drank 3 but I genuinely cannot remember anything after finishing the second one. The next morning i woke up naked in my bed. I woke him up and asked him “Luke, why am I naked?” and he said “Because you didn’t want to put your clothes back on.” When I clarified to him that that was not what I meant, he got defensive and said that he didn’t realize how drunk I was. He proceeded to tell me that I initiated sex with him and that i was very enthusiastic about it. He said he didn’t know i could black out on three smirnoffs. He made fun of me for being a lightweight and continued to make light of the situation. Then he mentioned that i fell off the bed at some point in the night and that it was funny how drunk I was. I then questioned him. Because if he thought that me tripping and falling off the bed because i was so drunk was funny, how did he not know that i was too drunk? He responded by saying that i fell off the bed only after we were done. That day I broke up with him. I’m still really confused about what happened that night. I don’t remember anything and all I have to go on is what he said to me. We were in a relationship at the time and he says he didn’t know how drunk I was so I’m not sure what to call what happened. A while after that day, his friend that hmu while we were broken up and I started talking again and i confided in him about that night. He told me to be careful saying things like that because they could get me into trouble. I spoke to some of our other friends about it and they told me it was no big deal and that it wasn’t his fault that he didn’t know how drunk I really was. Because I don’t remember, I have been led to believe that this is not a serious matter. You can think what you want, come to whatever conclusions you want. That is just my side of the story.

I want to add that I’m not proud of how I acted after the relationship ended. I felt really angry at all the shit he put me through and I guess a part of me wanted him to hurt even a quarter of how I did. So I started talking to his friend and got involved with him. This backfired on me because his friend ended up really hurting me too so ig i got my karma. But the thing that hurt the most is that because of what I did, some of our friends took his side in the break up. I was told that I did something terrible by getting involved with his friend that he was already insecure about and that he didn’t deserve that. These are the same friends who were witness to the dumpster fire of a relationship we had and all the things he did to me. They turned their backs on me because of this one thing I did. But stood by and watched as he treated me like garbage for over a year.

I will conclude this by saying that while this relationship has been “over and done with” for almost two years now, I carry a lot of trauma from it still. I still talk about him in therapy and have had to put in a lot of work to heal from what he did and i still cannot say that i am okay. I am very blessed to now have a patient and understanding partner who has helped me heal from that trauma and i just want to quickly thank him for that. Nobody deserves to go through what I did. While yes, it was a toxic relationship, and I had a part in that, it does not excuse all the awful things he said and did to me. This is my truth, thank you for taking the time to read it.

#sorry if the formatting is all over the place

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monicahar · 1 year

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“what are you doing?”

you comically cower behind his back even further.

“hiding.”

“...why?”

“because there's a flipping lion in the room with us, JING YUAN. that's what.” you snap back angrily.

if you're wondering how you got into this predicament—it's not that far from being akin to a kidnapper leading on a child with sweets and delicacies.

under the guise of work and a few promised cuddles, he had made you follow his steps into his home—now with you glued to his body like it's your own lifeline. the snow-white lion snugly lies down by the only exit of the room you're both occupying—having just introduced herself when it came to jing yuan for a few pets, scaring the bejeebers out of you when its fur had grazed the back of your thighs all of a sudden.

the lion only shows confusion yet complies when jing yuan coaxed her to go away for a few moments. in other words—for you to take a breather.

in response to your much evident suffering and growing impatience, a mirthful laugh escapes him, craning his head to look at you over his shoulder to throw you a small mischievous grin “it's just my cat. i don't see the problem.”

“that's fully grown lion, you scoundrel!” you hit his back weakly, whisper-yelling as if said lion would attack you if you spoke any louder. “a-ah...it's looking at me weirdly. it's definitely thinking of how delicious i am!”

“mimi is very gentle. i doubt she's thinking of such a thing.”

you sink further in his shadow when the lion catches your wary gaze with a tilt of its head. “jing, please. it may like you, but i doubt that a territorial species would enjoy having a stranger around its person bubble.”

“you're free to leave anytime, darling. i'm not forcing you to stay.” he says coyly.

“with how your adorable little mimi is standing right by the door—i doubt i can leave of my own accord.”

“so you think she's adorable? good to hear that.” oh, now he has selective hearing?

“jing yuan. please.” you kneel down and tug on his robes pleadingly, catching him off guard to the point he has now decided to fully turn towards you in mild surprise. “i really don't know how to deal with this! i don't dislike her or anything, i'm just super scared that she won't like me and would—”

“calm down.” your lover couches down before you, hand raising to pat your head. “she doesn't bite. i promise.”

“how are you so sure?” you question incredulously, ignoring the way your heartbeat quickens at his actions. “even if she's domesticated, she's still an animal that thrives on her own survival instincts.”

“dearest, would i really have taken in a pet if it was openly feral?”

“yep. you would.” you reply in a heartbeat.

his eye twitches in return.“ahem—okay, so as i was saying,” standing up to his full height, he stretches out a hand towards you, staring at you softly as he does so. “we both know i adore delicate and gentle things, [name]. mimi is exactly that—hence why i didn't mind taking her in and burdened you with meeting her.”

you raise a brow. he shrugs, opting to resign upon your obvious reluctance on the matter.

“truthfully, i wished to see my two favourite companions to bond and get along with my own two eyes,” he heaves an apologetic huff, a tad bit disappointed whilst you only stare in surprise, “but if you're really uncomfortable with it then i suppose i shouldn't force you.”

he helps you up with ease when you finally put your hand on his, hastily padding off the dust that was caught in your clothes upon kneeling down.

grasping your hand comfortingly to calm your nerves, you hate that it work flawlessly upon his touch.

“let's go?”

you were about to nod—until your gaze catches the lion's once more.

...pretty eyes.

snowmoon.

your heart clenches at the realisation.

“on second thought...” you trail off, watching as the mammal sits up in anticipation at your eye contact. jing yuan raises a brow at you, “i think i'll try interacting with her.”

he huffs out a deep chuckle, “really, you don't have to—”

“mimi?” you call out, leaning sideways to look past behind your lover's tall figure. he does the same, turning his head over his shoulder to look at the same direction you're fixated on.

the lion perks up, and starts walking towards you. you grin, but not before whispering back to jing yuan,

“if she actually bites me, we're breaking up.”

“no promises.”

you finally pat the lion's head after about an hour of excessive whining it'll bite you, finally havin found the courage to actually see it as a mere domesticated cat whilst glaring daggers at the owner.

“mimi...attack that bad guy.” you point at him, face still looking smug as ever.

“she won't listen to y—” said lion pounces on him.

idek what this is fiakehwjbsksbw i cant write no more man,,,,*/proceeds to make another jingyuan drabble in google doc

#jing yuan x reader #jingyuan x reader #honkai star rail x reader #hsr x reader #star rail x reader #honkai star rail #jing yuan #har❗fiction

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jongseongsnudes · 1 month

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kiss me

bff!jake. 1.6k words. suggestive with a bratty you and a horny jake sim. (part two) (part three)

“hey.”

silence.

“jake.”

more silence.

“jake sim!”

“what?” he says nonchalantly back at you, his eyes still plastered on the screen ahead as his fingers continued tapping away at the keyboard, “what is it? i’m playing-”

“can we go to bed... it’s almost 3 in the morning...”

and the silence continues.

you could only sigh at yourself, knowing just how much he loved gaming but you had hoped he would at least spend a bit of time with you tonight. especially after not seeing each other for the past week.

after an entire week of losing sleep and stressing over assignments, you wanted nothing more than to watch your favourite show while eating take out with your bestie. being with him put you weirdly at ease, his random dad jokes comforted you and his embrace put you to sleep faster than anything.

and he knew this!

yet here you were, having sat on his bed for the past 3 hours while he gamed away with the boys. how someone could stay so focused on the screen for 3 hours, you have no idea but you were now too tired to wait anymore.

“yeah- yeah you go sleep first, i still need to back the 02z boys up in this bitch-” he doesn’t bother looking at you as he says so before muttering off, “turn off the lights if you want.”

sigh.

you came here for a good night sleep and you were going to get it. one way or another.

so you come up with a plan, a rather evil plan you know would have a 98% chance of working in your favour.

a punishment more like it but he doesn’t need to know that.

“alright i’m gonna sleep first then,” you get off the bed and slip out of your over sized shirt, leaving on just your booty shorts and a crop top that barely did its job at covering your hardened nipples.

walking over to your best friend’s desk, you slightly lean over his shoulder to grab his can of soda, making sure to rub your chest on him. just a little. and luckily for you, the man was already in a thin singlet himself so the skin to skin contact immediately caught his attention.

if there’s one thing you know about your best friend is that although he’s no longer a 16 year old boy going through puberty, the man was just always horny. a perv.

on so many occasions, you had caught him staring at you a little too inappropriately. sometimes the man was even daring enough to place a hand on your ass whenever you’d cuddle with him in bed.

but never did you complain because it wasn’t like you didn’t secretly enjoy the attention anyway.

jake is hot, everyone knows that but you weren’t going to admit that to him. not with that big head of his.

“sorry. thirsty,” you take a sip from his almost empty can and release a very unnecessary moan, knowing that the man’s attention was now entirely on you, “damn. i’m gonna grab another.”

you don’t miss the sudden tent in his boxers or rather, it was hard to miss the big bulge that was caused by you. you want to laugh so badly, knowing that your plan was already working.

gently squeezing the back of his neck, you then walk out of the room, a smug grin now on your own face. you’re almost 100% sure that he’s watching you walk away, probably confused to why you’re practically naked in his apartment. yeah you’re comfortable with each other but you’ve always had a top on at the very least.

grabbing a can of beer instead, you hop up on the countertop to wait for the ending of your plan to play out. and as expected, the little puppy really does follow you into the kitchen. he doesn’t say anything but his gaze on your exposed skin was enough to tell you what he was thinking.

he likes what he’s seeing and so do you.

you’ve always found him attractive. from the moment you met him in your first year of college until now, jake sim just had to be the literal definition of your perfect type.

but you’ve never dared to cross that line, the thin line between friendship and there after. because not only was he your bestest friend but the man didn’t seem all that interested in you anyway.

“what’s up? i thought you were gaming?” you say so nonchalantly, even tilting your head like you weren’t already expecting this.

“i uh- um-” he seems distracted to say the very least, his eyes unable to detach themselves from your chest, “nothing. i’m done playing.”

mission success.

the familiar smell of his shampoo immediately fills the air as the man invades your space, a scent you’ve come to love. a scent that drove your mind totally insane.

“are you okay though? you seem... out of it?”

“probably just tired,” he inches even closer to you, his body now practically standing in between your spread thighs. his hands reaches out to rest on either sides of you, his face just inches away as he looks into your eyes.

there’s something different in his eyes tonight, compared to how he usually looks at you. they’re dark and dare you say... seemingly hungry for something.

“yeah? you’re not sick are you?” you pretend to be concerned, feeling his forehead but to your surprise, the man was actually burning under your touch, “wait oh my god, you’re burning. are you okay?”

“i’m fine.”

jake’s voice was already usually low but this tone was something else. one that’s causing an immediate damp spot in your panties.

“okay... then should we go to bed? maybe you just need some sleep, jake sim.”

the visible gulp he makes from the way you say his full name further tells you that you’re close. close to your end goal.

“yeah maybe,” his eyes remain on you as his hand inches closer to your thigh, only slightly grazing the side. he looks slightly hesitant, as if testing the waters and you don’t blame him because you’re doing the same.

“want some? i can’t finish it,” you hand him the beer can, in which he takes and in one single gulp, finishes it. you’ve seen him do that so many times before but just something about this time is making you feel so hot.

you wait for him to move away but the man wraps his arms around your waist instead, pulling you flat against him. you gasp at the sudden move and wrap your own arms around his neck to stable yourself, a move you definitely know he appreciated with the way he’s smirking.

“lets get you to bed, beautiful,” his choice of petname gets you more worked up than you already were, your little act on the very brink of collasping. but you’re unsure if this was even acting anymore... because this was definitely not in your plan.

your legs naturally wrap around him as he carries you off the countertop with such ease. it feels so comfortable to be in his arms, like your body was meant for him to hold.

no one says a thing the entire way to the bedroom but it wasn’t needed. the way he’s watching you and the obvious tension that filled the air told you that perhaps your attraction wasn’t exactly one sided.

jake places you down amongst his sheets not long after and hovers over, freely pressing himself onto you. his hands quickly find their spot on your waist, his fingers gripping into your skin as if scared you were going to run away.

“you’re beautiful,” his head dips into the crook of your neck as he says so, his lips so dangerously close to your skin but he doesn’t go any further. as if teasing you, “so, so fucking beautiful.”

“jake...”

“god when you say my name like that- fuck you’re killing me,” he finally looks up at you again, this time going straight in to kiss you. no pause, no hesitation.

it takes a moment for you to realise that jake was actually kissing you, that this was real and not one of the fantasises you always had about him.

it feels like an explosion inside your body, a feeling you have never gotten from kissing anyone else. not even your ex boyfriends.

it feels so right to kiss him though and that fact scared you.

the man moves away only slightly, just enough for you to catch your breath as he places his forehead against yours.

“tell me to stop and i will,” his tone is stern, a tone you don’t hear much from someone like jake, “or i won’t be able to stop myself.”

the grey area was something you’ve always been afraid of, the thought of a ruined friendship always plaguing your brain. yet in this very moment, you know damn well yourself that this was no longer acting, that this wasn’t apart of your stupid game anymore.

but this was real and your next response was the decider of the relationship between you and jake sim.

“kiss me.”

to be continued.

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babyleostuff · 5 months

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౨ৎ voicemails choi seungcheol leaves you while he’s on tour - fluff (with a pinch of angst), established relationship, gn!reader (pet names used: baby, darling)

...one: hey darling! we just arrived at the hotel. i called right after we landed but you didn't answer and then jeonghan reminded me that we’re in completely different time zones. i feel like a total idiot for forgetting about it. good thing you didn't answer though, i hope you have the sweetest dreams. anyway, call me in the morning when you wake up. i love you

...two: the bed felt so cold last night. fuck, it’s been only a day and i miss you like crazy already

...three: i think the kids are sick of me. they say i keep talking about you but (laughs) how could i not? how was your day though? what did you do today? did eat something good for dinner?

...four: that photo of you and kkuma you sent me earlier. (pause) it made my whole day. i immediately set it as my wallpaper. (sigh)

...five: i hate cuddling these goddamn pillows, i want you back in my arms baby

...six: oh my god, yesterday was so much fun! mingyu and dino took me out to drink, and we ended up in the shittiest street ever, and like, there were so many people staring at us weirdly. i know we’re good looking, but come on. then mingyu started to get scared, which started to freak dino out too (laugs). and then i started to get scared too. but then we discovered the best bar ever. i can't wait to tell you all about it

...seven: i saw it’s raining back home. i put an umbrella in your bag before i left because you always forget to bring it with you, and make sure to dress well. go over to my place and take some of my hoodies and coats, and i don't want to hear any complaints

...eight: i miss you

...nine: i should’ve brought a bigger suitcase with me, i swear i have so many gifts for you

...ten: i wish you could be here with me. (pause) i love you

taglist (if you want to be added, check my masterlist): @jeonghansshitester @soul-is-a-strange-kid @weird-bookworm @sea-moon-star @hanniehaee @wonwooz1 @byprettymar @edgaralienpoe @staranghae @itza-meee @eightlightstar @immabecreepin @whatsgyud @hyneyedfiz @honestlydopetree @vicehectic @dkswife @uniq-tastic @marisblogg @aaniag @daegutowns @carlesscat-thinklogic23 @embrace-themagic @ohmyhuenings @nidda13 @hrts4hanniehae @k-drama-adict @isabellah29 @f4iryjjosh @bangantokchy @mrswonwooo @bangtancultsposts @lllucere @athanasiasakura @chillseo @onlyyjeonghan @haecien @caramyisabitchforsvtandbts @hannahhbahng @valgracia @ohmygodwhyareallusernamestaken @mirxzii @hhusbuds @wonranghaeee

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diveinyouastro · 9 months

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🌡~My take on scorpio placements ~

◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇

☆ scorpio in the 7th house- usually get cheated on by their partners. Go through Toxic/ narcissistic partners at some point in their lives. 3rd party situations. Partners lying and deceiving you.

☆ scorpio mars- usually center of attention (attention grabber not seeker). Females with this placement tend to attract jealously from their so called friends or just other people in general. Men tends to sexualize them alot, Might have spread rumors about them at some point.

Men with this placement, if underdeveloped, tends to be toxic af. The need to control everyone and everything around them is just awful. Fuck around a lot. Sleeping with different different people.

If developed, good achievers. Very strategic mindset. Usually get what they want in life. Bulletproof mindset. Very good at talking to people but still maintaining boundaries. Loyal.

☆scorpio suns- idk why and how, but when people get to know that someone is a scorpio, they get weirdly attracted to them??? Like staring at them, wanting to know them. Intimidated by them.

☆scorpio sun/moons- have a good sense of humour. They can make anyone laugh. And with this, they tend to attract alot of people who wants to be in a relationship with them.

☆ scorpio venus- won't say a loyal lover HOWEVER when they love love, they are loyal 100%. Underdeveloped can lie about being in love.

☆retrograde scorpio venus- feels unlovable. Extreme trust issues. Highly sensitive. Very very very high on trust. You know how they say scorpios take tests? With this placement? Tests x 100. Don't give 2nd chances. It's very very difficult for them to be vulnerable. People have rejected them alot. Might have been body shamed or criticised for looks. They feel like they don't deserve to be loved.

☆scorpio stellium in the natal chart- highly intuitive. Usually sees things beforehand. POWER. THE DARKNESS. THE EYES!!! Very beautiful people inside out. However they don't trust easily but if they do, for the love of lord, don't break it cuz you'll be coming back again and again to win them over.

☆scorpio moon- been through some serious shit. Been through hell and back with themselves. They understand people very well. However, they don't get the same understanding in return. They can see right through you so don't f with them. Hate mind games.

☆scorpio rising- very very intimidating. Females with this placement tends to attract jealousy in any form. People want to dominate you so bad. People telling them to tone it down. Basically people don't like your mindset, it triggers them cuz they can't have power over you. Hates 2 faced people. And the irony is, they usually deal with 2 faced people.

☆scorpio lilith- highly seductive. Very attractive. Sex appeal. Feelings run deep for them. Had people who wanted them only for sexual pleasures, wanted to touch them in any way. High vibration scorpio lilith is THE HEALER. also I've seen yall had some near death experiences?? Or witnessed someone dying in front of you.

☆ scorpio mercury- moves in silence. Very strategic and careful. Committed to anything they put their mind into. Always ready to be one on one while fighting. Their way of talking is very intense and mysterious which makes people wanna know how do you think like that. When they say something they really mean it. They take their time. Expects the worst. They figure things out so fast so don't even think of gaslighting them.

☆Scorpio in the 10th house- achievers. From a young age they had an insight of what they will become. Hold power in their work environment. If your a student, your classmates want to steal your notes, they feel envious that you make pretty good notes of whatever you're studying cuz yall go in depth and make pretty good observations of the topics. Authority figures.

☆scorpio in the 5th- gets extreme reactions from people. Ofcourse with any other placements, attracts jealousy. (Bruh I don't get it, what's with the scorpios dealing with alot of jealousy???? Like that's tiring) Grabs attention in parties, get togethers or any form of social gatherings. Might have dealt with people wanting to take your partners. Might have overly strict parents or very fucked up family issues.

That's it for now🫶🏻

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inkskinned · 4 months

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there's a video on instagram of a man kicking his partner's door in. the top comment is (with over 4 thousand likes): "how about you tell us what you did to make him that angry?"

barring emergency, nobody should be kicking anybody's door in. many of us lived in houses where it was always, somehow, an emergency. there is a strange, almost hysterical calm that comes over you in that moment - everything feels muted, and you almost feel, however incongruently, like you should be laughing. you are living inside of "the emergency." oh my god, you think. i am now a fucking statistic.

there is another comment with 2.8 thousand likes: "if this was a woman doing it to a man, nobody would give a shit."

do people give a shit now, though?

barring emergency, the door should remain standing. the emergency should be panicked, desperate - "i'm coming in there to protect you." many of us know what it feels like when the emergency is instead "i'm coming in there to get you."

1.5k likes: "and yet you post this for notes. glad to see being the victim has become your whole personality."

hysteria is a word connected to womb, from greek. what you're experiencing is so senseless and inhumane that you (a rational creature) try to find any ground within what is irrational and cannot be explained. one of the most frustrating things about staying in bad situations is that we also lie to ourselves. we also ask ourselves - wow. what did i do?

women can be, and often are, also abusers. abuse is not gendered. abuse is not just a "straight person" problem. abuse does not have a face or figure or sexuality. you cannot pick an abuser out of a crowd. an abuser could be actually anybody.

and then so many people rally behind the man kicking the door in. here is something nobody should be doing, right? you want to ask every person that liked that first comment: do you ask this because you side with him? do you ask this because it helps you feel safe from this ever happening?

in some ways, you're weirdly sympathetic to the top comment, because it is the same logic you see frequently. the idea is that the average, normal, sane person doesn't just break down a door. doesn't just shoot up a school. doesn't stalk and kill women. doesn't threaten sexual assault. doesn't run over protesters. doesn't shoot an unarmed black person. doesn't scream at underpaid walmart employees. doesn't just "lose it". something had to have happened, right? because the default (white. straight. cis.) - that is someone who is always, you know. "sane."

(right?)

on a podcast, you hear a sane, normal, rational person. "if you piss me off, i'm going to need to hit something. sorry but i'm not apologizing. that's just who i am that's how it is." his voice almost sounds like he's laughing.

you think of the door, and how you were almost laughing behind it, too. ironically, every real emergency in your life has almost felt peaceful in comparison. fire, car accident, flash flooding - these felt quiet, covenant to you. you'd stood in all of them, feeling them pass over and up to your chin, never actually overwhelming.

but when the door was coming down, you had felt - is there a word for that? there has to be, a word, right.

surely one of us has figured out the word for that, i mean. it's such a large fucking statistic.

#spilled ink #writeblr #warm up #this is so disorganized #i just saw that video and the comments made me want to vomit #it's actually like. in the way it's funny that you got into a car crash and got the flu within the same 24 hours #it's like.#it's funny #because certain people will blame everything on mental illness #even being transgender.#they will not #however #at any point - even vaguely suggest that a man should maybe get therapy.#like. a guy busting down a door isn't a danger-to-himself-and-others #(you just pushed him too far).#but a young adult looking for top surgery should be institutionalized for even wanting to change their body.

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