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#and its been *so hard* to not talk about it
cyprozombiegirl · 3 days
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Help a trans girl recover from tumblr’s institutional and systematic transmisogyny
hey folks, so tumblr nuked my account (cypro-girl) and deleted most of the posts I had depicting me dilating (aka doing a medical treatment to myself) or talking about the joys of bottom surgery. They left up the photos of me pre bottom surgery hard as a rock though 🤔. Anyways I’ve tracked down and saved as many of my former posts as I could but there are a bunch that might still be circulating, if you find any or have any already on your blog can you please please send them to me?
I suspect, given tumblr under Matt (I miss David) has been infamous for destroying any attempt by trans femmes to think/talk about our own bodies or oppression, and the fact that it had been primarily my posts about bottom surgery that have been removed from the site, that it was this positivity that got my blog (and backup blog) deleted. This is the second time I got nuked, my old blog cyproterone-girl has 23k followers when it got destroyed. I’d just built back up to 10k and thought I was safe cause I was being a lot more cautious. I had zero flagged posts and my blog wasn’t labeled as explicit, so this was tumblr escalating its epistemic violence against me from 0 to 100.
If you could please share this post so new people and past followers can find my new blog I would deeply appreciate it. I’ve appealed the deletion but I highly doubt tumblr will act in good faith and restore it. So for now this is my blog. I’m also sorta considering launching a class action lawsuit against tumblr but we’ll see if I want to devote the time and energy to doing so. I guess that depends on how much more tumblr pissed me off. They even deleted my gf’s main blog (steadfastcr0w) their damn poetry blog. So I’m pretty livid. I lost a passion project of mine, and feel like tumblr is forcing my exhibitionist self into sex work, cause they won’t let me post about my body for free like I want to (and I’ll be damned to hell if I start using reddit or X).
Anyways yeah, please share this!
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i-like-media · 1 day
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I was wondering when they were going to play with the fact the Doctor is black now. 13 being faced with how people think of women was one of my favourite things in her era, so I was curious how they were going to treat his skin colour this season, if at all.
And honestly, Dot And Bubble exceeded all my expectations on the matter!
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What a lot of episodes about racism and bigotry do is coddle the viewer. They make clear early on "this is an episode about RACISM and why it's WRONG!" As if you've never heard of the concept before and don't know it's bad. The episode will often portray racism in an extreme sense and show the viewer the main characters are above that.
What Dot And Bubble did, for the entire episode, was letting the viewer figure it out on their own. There was no coddling, only racism as it silently existed. A perfectly pastel and white community with not a single person of colour and the only visible outlier being a goth white kid. And in this world, the first thing the character we follow did, was to block a black guy with a face of disgust.
The title screen rolls and you're left to rationalise it. Surely it was because he was not in her contact list/saying all kinds of mind blowing stuff... Right? Except when Ruby enters her feed and talks about it, she actually replies back... With an eye roll, but she replies... and keeps talking... and listening.
The episode continues, still not a single POC besides the Doctor. They reveal this is an exclusive place for rich people, and eventually the character in question even admits she thought the Doctor was a different person because "I thought you looked the same".
What this episode also does well, is portraying a character we wish to see change and find a better life behind that change. We see Lindy struggle to navigate the world without her bubble, calling herself stupid, and we genuinely hope she DOES learn to be better, even as you slowly pick up on what's been going on sofar. You are left to hope she'll thank him and realise the error of her ways, and maybe find a new drive to think for herself.
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And then she doesn't.
She stays in her bubble, doubling down on how she feels about the Doctor, how they're excited to be like their settler ancestors, and finally CLEARLY revealing to the viewers what's been off this whole time... and the scene asks: did YOU notice the signs? Did you see what went wrong along the way, or did you only notice just now when it's explicitly shown to you? And why do you think that is?
It challenges the perspective of the viewer and tells you to reflect on why you didn't see it coming, and that is so so powerful.
The Doctor's reaction to this scene..... 👌👌👌👌
His mouth is ajar, stunned beyond belief that after all he's done and all he can offer, the offer to literally save their lives, he is reduced to someone who's nothing more than the hue of his skin. He yells at them, telling them he doesn't care what they think of him because he's still the same doctor he's always been, and to still get rejected with a dirty look... Which hits extra hard when you remember how much the Doctor loves being himself. He LOVES being the Doctor again! And he walks with such a pep in his step, celebrating his existence and sharing it with all he meets... and then he tries to save some rich white kids from certain death.
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His performance in that moment was literally phenomenal. It's a narrative that's so powerful and so creative in its execution, my jaw was still on the floor throughout the credits.
This episode is definitely up there as one of my favourites sofar
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engstlersslut · 2 days
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Take It Out On Me│ E. Engstler
pairing: emily engstler x reader genre: fluff, smut warnings: 18+ material word count: 1.8k summary: with the stress of the season weighing on her, emily has been in a mood and you let her take her frustration out on you
MINORS AND AGELESS BLOGS DNI
✦•〰〰〰〰〰〰•★•〰〰〰〰〰〰•✦
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With back-to-back losses for the Mystics and the lack of playing time, to say Emily had been frustrated would be an understatement. She'd come home from practice every day, exhausted and even more moody than the day before. Slamming cabinets and doors, sluggishly moving through her evening routines, being short during conversations, setting things down with more force than necessary. It was evident in her actions and every breath she took. Nothing you said or could say seemed to improve her mood. At a loss, you tried to just give her some space, but when that didn't seem to help either, you decided to try and talk to her about it again.
"Em?" You spoke softly from where you were cuddled into her side on the couch. "Are you okay?"
She had been quiet since she returned home from another long day of practice. Dinner was eaten in a tense silence and after that, you both settled in the living room to watch TV before bed, still not speaking much.
"I'm fine, babe." She responded, trying to hold back a heavy sigh and failing.
"Are you sure?" You pried gently, attempting to coax her into letting you in on her feelings.
"Yes. Now could you stop asking and just watch the show?" She snapped at you, causing you to release a sigh of your own.
"I'm sorry." She apologized, shaking her head and adjusting her position to lean forward, elbows resting on her knees. "I didn't mean to snap at you like that."
"It's fine."
"It's not fine." She argued. "You didn't deserve that."
"You're frustrated. I get it." You empathized, running a gentle hand down her back. "I just want you to talk to me."
"I'm just frustrated as hell." She huffed. "We've lost every game so far and I'm busting my ass every day at practice only to be a benchwarmer. I'm trying to be a supportive teammate, and I really am proud of the hard work everyone is putting in despite all of the setbacks, but it sucks."
"I know." You nodded.
"I'm trying my best to stay level-headed, but I just have so much pent-up stress and I need to blow off some steam. I just don't know how."
"Take it out on me, then."
"What?" She turned her head to look back at you where you rested against the couch.
"Take it out on me. Use me to let out some of that stress and frustration." You shrugged as if it was no big deal, which to you it wasn't.
"How?"
"How do you think?" You gave your best seductive smirk as you stood from the couch and stripped off your shirt. Tossing it at your dumbfounded girlfriend, you began to slowly step backwards towards the direction of your shared bedroom. "Only if you're up for it."
"Don't start something you can't handle." She spoke, the look in her eyes darkening as she, too, stood from where she sat.
"Who says I can't?" You cocked your head in challenge, a teasing glint in your eyes as she stepped closer.
"Are you sure you want to do this?" She asked as you now stood chest-to-chest. One of her tattooed hands trailed up to wrap around your neck, applying light pressure. "Because I can't promise I'll be gentle."
"Do your worst."
Those three words were all she needed to hear before her lips crashed down on yours eliciting a breathy moan from you. Her tongue immediately found its way into your mouth at the given opportunity, initiating a battle for dominance, which she easily won. After a few moments of roughly, yet passionately, making out, she pulled away.
"Go to the bedroom and strip." She whispered, lips brushing yours as she spoke. "I want you on the bed and naked when I get in there." Nodding, you pulled out of her embrace and turned to make your way to the room.
You weren't sure how long you waited in anticipation, but it felt like ages before she finally appeared, a cup of water in hand. Her eyes held a predatory gaze as she made her way around to her side of the bed, keeping her eyes on you as she placed the cup on the nightstand. Without a word, she turned around, finally breaking the intense eye contact, and disappeared again. She quickly emerged from your walk-in closet holding a black box. Setting it to the side, she grabbed your ankles and pulled you to the end of the bed.
"Fuck," She let out breathlessly as she dropped to her knees at the foot of the bed, examining the wetness between your thighs. "The things you do to me."
You let out a quiet gasp as she ran her thumb along your slit gently, collecting some of your arousal before putting her thumb in her mouth and releasing moan at the taste.
"Look at how wet you are, baby." She said as she swiped her index finger through your folds and raised it to show you.
Grabbing her hand, you brought it to your mouth to taste yourself. You held her gaze as you sucked on her finger, moaning as you did so. With a low groan rising from her throat, she yanked her hand away and moved to throw your legs over her shoulders. With a death grip on your thighs, she dove in, devouring you.
Her pace was fast and sloppy but so, so good. Her tongue teased your entrance while her nose nudged your clit. She had you seeing stars in no time. She'd barely started yet you were already teetering on the edge of your first orgasm of the night. Moving her mouth back up to suck on your swollen clit, she lifted her hand and sunk two of her long fingers in without any warning. The loud moan you let out had her smirking against you.
"That's it, baby." She cooed up at you. "Be loud for me. Let everyone know how good I make you feel." Her words encouraged another loud moan from you. "Good girl."
"I-I'm close, Em." You panted through your moans, back arching off the bed. "Please don't stop."
She didn't say anything in response but she didn't need to. Her actions said it all when she fastened her pace, bending and twisting her fingers, effortlessly finding that soft, spongy spot inside of you that sent you over the edge. Hand flying down to hold her head in place as she sucked your clit back into her mouth, you let out a sound that bordered on a scream as the bubble that had formed in you finally burst. She slowed her pace to help you ride out your high before finally coming to a stop and pulling away.
You felt your body melt into the mattress as you came down, chest heaving with every deep breath you took. Your eyes drifted to Emily as you lay there, body already spent, watching as she finally stripped down out of her own clothes.
"Like what you see, ma?" She smirked at you with a wink, grabbing the black box she had set aside.
"Always." You smiled back at her flirty remark, watching her movements intently as she pulled out her strap and vibrator.
"What's your color?" She asked as inserted her vibrator and put on the strap.
"Green." You replied.
"Good."
Climbing onto the bed and settling between your thighs, she leaned forward to connect her lips with yours. Distracting you with a fierce and passionate kiss, she turned on the vibrator and slowly sank into you. As the last inch pushed in, you broke the kiss and threw your head back against the pillows. With the combination of the vibrations and the fullness that you felt, you were already reeling from the pleasure.
You moaned in unison as she began to thrust into you, pace quickly turning brutal. Leaning down until her chest met yours, she attached her lips to yours again before making her way down. She stopped once her lips met your neck, biting, kissing, and sucking, surely leaving marks.
"Baby," You moaned, hand tangling in her hair that was falling out of her ponytail. "I-I think I'm gonna come."
"Hold it." She ordered.
"I c-can't." You whimpered, unshed tears blurring your vision.
"Yes, you can." She grunted, hips slamming into yours harder. "Be a good girl and hold it for me. I'm almost there."
Your body writhed beneath her as you both panted and moaned at the intense feelings. Your hands scraped down her back, legs locking around her waist.
"Em, please." You begged, after a few more harsh thrusts. "I can't hold it anymore."
"Okay." She panted. "Come for me." That was all she needed to say as you arched up into her, hands gripping her biceps. Loud moans filled the room as you both let go.
Emily pulled out soft and slow as your body fell limp against the bed. She soon joined you after removing her strap and vibrator. Your chests rose and fell in unison as you both tried to catch your breath. The room was comfortably quiet as you lay there, hands finding each other before intertwining.
After a few minutes of basking in the aftermath of the events that had taken place, Emily got up and walked into the bathroom that was connected to your bedroom. You could hear her moving around and then the sound of water running. After about ten minutes, she returned and scooped you up into her arms.
"What are you doing?" You asked head resting on her shoulder.
"I drew us a bath."
She set you down in the warm water before climbing in behind you and pulling your back to rest against her chest. Her hands ran through your hair gently and as she relaxed with you in her arms.
"Was I too rough?" She asked, a content sigh leaving her lips and the remaining tenseness in her muscles melted away.
"No," You replied. "You were perfect." She hummed in response.
"Thank you." She spoke softly, eyes shut and head leaned back to rest of the edge of the bathtub.
"For what?"
"For supporting me. For always finding ways to make me feel better. For loving me."
"You don't have to thank me for any of those things, babe." You shook your head as best as you could with her hands still tangled in your hair. "That's what I'm here for. I would do absolutely anything for you, whether you asked me to or not."
"I know, but I feel like I don't express my gratitude enough. You put up with a lot from me and I am beyond grateful for you." She leaned down, peppering kisses along your neck and shoulders. "I really got lucky with you."
"I think I'm the lucky one here." You smiled at her loving words and gestures. "You are an amazing human being and an even more amazing girlfriend. I love you so much it hurts."
"Well, I love you more." She nipped at your ear playfully.
"Doubtful." You replied.
"Is that a challenge?" She chuckled as she flicked water at the side of your face. "If so, I'm prepared to win."
"I wouldn't expect any less." You giggled at her antics.
"Good." She smiled before crashing her lips onto yours.
✦•〰〰〰〰〰〰•★•〰〰〰〰〰〰•✦
a/n: this is my longest fic yet. also, it's my first time writing smut EVER (or at least attempting to), so bear with me.
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clarkpip22 · 3 days
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𖥻.•𝐄𝐌𝐈𝐋𝐘 𝐄𝐍𝐆𝐒𝐓𝐋𝐄𝐑 𝐇𝐄𝐀𝐃𝐂𝐀𝐍𝐎𝐍𝐒 ✴︎.
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a/n- this is my first time every writing smut so sorry if this isn't good but i hope you'll enjoy<3
warning- this is 18+ so mdni, pls and thank you :)
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↪loves eating you out
- she will devour your pussy like it is a full course meal.
- definitely makes you squirt all over her face
- and she won't stop unless you tell her to or push her head back
- "You taste so good, mama~"
- Emily's eyes always look so heavy when she's eating you out, sometimes she closes her eyes while moaning into you. Enjoying every inch of your cunt
↪strap game is insane!
- treats your pussy like its a toy when she's fucking you
- she may talk to you nice but their is nothing nice about the way she pounds you into the bed
- sometimes she gets carried away because she is so focused on making you feel good
↪speaking of talking to you nice. THE PRAIS! THE DIRTY TALK!
- her mouth is dirty <3
- anytime you are doing good for her, she showers you in complements.
- calls you her good girl <3
- some of her favorite phrases♥︎
- "yes baby, you're doing so well for me"
- "Please make that pretty cunt squirt for me baby"
- "ride me mama~"
- "I love your pussy so much"
- even outside of the bedroom she's praising you
- there's been times were she will whispers dirty things to you out in public
- "i can't wait to take you home and shove my face between your legs"
↪Emily struggles to keep her hands to herself
- she inlove with you and her favorite way to show you is through touch but it always leads to me than just innocent touches
- Emily's hands 🤝 your thighs
- she also loves grabbing your neck
- Em will hold you by the neck when she wants you to look at her
↪loves ass
- she spanks you a lot for fun
- Anytime she walks past you or you bend down, all you feel is a big, strong, muscular hand land on your ass
- "Ow Emily! That hurts!"
- " hush baby, i didn't hit you that hard"
↪Emily is into punishments
- if you are giving her attitude or acting like a brat, she will embarrass you
- her favorite way to punish you is by making you act like a cat or dog
- she'll strip you down and put a dog or cat buttplug in you and makes you crawl on all four
- Emily has you crawl up on her lap and sit while she plays with your cunt
- fingers the life out of you
- "don't try to run away from me baby, you wanted to act like a brat so imma treat you like a brat."
- spanks you hard if you complain
- if you take your punishment well, Emily will eat you out all night long
- if you don't than she'll pound your cunt for hour, making you cum over and over again until you apologize like a good girl<3
↪and finally... the aftercare
- she makes sure your nice and cleaned up
- kisses you on the cheek telling you how good you are and how proud she is of you
- Emily is usually very soft after sex, stroking your body and cuddling on
- feeds you snacks and make sure your well hydrated.
- "you did so good for me baby, i love you~"
- "i love you too, em"
You guys are sooooo cute 😩<3
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“Many places I have been
Many sorrows I have seen
But I don't regret
Nor will I forget
All who took that road with me”
-The Last Goodbye by Billy Boyd
This is an Adjuration by @not-freyja, after 86 chapters, 300k words, and 10 months of joy, laughter, tears, heartbreak and love, has finally reached its end. 
Adjuration is a tragedy that is nothing short of an act of love. That much is clear in the passion and dedication put towards the story, the characters, and the message Freyja is trying to convey. This fic will teach you about love. About death. About the inevitability of existence and why despite knowing it will all come to an end, there is still meaning in trying and hoping and loving each other. In loving yourself. You will laugh, you will cry, you will hope and you will despair as you read this story, but you will not be able to put it down.
It’s hard to say goodbye to something that has been so important to and loved by so many people. So we won’t. Instead, we will say thank you for this incredible journey and the community this fic has built. For the friendships that have been made and the endless inspiration you have given us. Thank you for wanting to tell a story, and for letting us join you around the campfire to listen.
Thank you.
(If you like Linked Universe and haven’t yet read Adjuration, see below for spoiler free reviews of this fic and artist credits.)
This is an Adjuration is the kind of story you fall in love with, the kind of story you think keep thinking about long after you put it down. The kind you keep finding hidden details in after you think you’ve got it figured out. 
The characters are distinct and people with their own voices, motivations, relationships and histories. You’ll have your favourites but love them all. They influence how you’ll see the characters in everything else. 
It’s full of moments where everything clicks and everything before is recontextualised in a way that’s so satisfying and make the whole story very re-readable. A time travel story where all loops are already closed, where you can know but not yet understand what will happen. It’s long, complex, and beautifully, meticulously planned and detailed. It’s clever and considered, funny and heartbreaking. 
A story that whispers ‘it matters’ over and over. It is worth it to love, it is worth it if it doesn’t last forever, it is worth it to give someone a little more time, it is worth it to fight. It’s about loving others and your world and finding grace for yourself. 
It’s loss and tragedy and the cruelness of fate. It is the sacrifice and the breaking. 
Full of heart to both fill yours and break it in the best possible way. 
It’s about love. Always.
By @toyouhellohowareyou
Sometimes, it’s hard to explain to others why art moves us.
I could tell you This is an Adjuration will make you cry, laugh, and sit at the edge of your seat in anticipation. And it’s probably true - I did all of that as I read, often with a coffee in one hand, early in the morning as I got ready for the day. 
But that’s not the reason why I’m writing this.
The real reason is how it followed me during the rest of the day.
You see, at a certain point I realized this isn’t a story about Links going on adventures. Well, it does feature Links, and they do go on adventures, so let’s talk about that for a minute.
The first thing that caught my attention about this book was the characters. Each individual is unique, interesting, and exciting to follow. Not only are the Links individually compelling, but one thing that stands out in Adjuration is how the relationship between each Hero and their own worlds matter, and these connections shift, evolve, break and grow as the plot progresses.
Freyja does an incredible job of bringing together impactful storytelling with humor and heart. This is an Adjuration starts with an interesting premise, and then twists and turns in directions you wouldn’t expect. It’s rich in thought-provoking moments, soft joy and intense action, blended in with carefully crafted time travel and magic.
Adjuration sucked me into the world it builds, combining believable characters with fascinating stories, an unnervingly devious antagonist, plot twists, and lovingly crafted details that slip unnoticed until you’re surrounded on all sides. It made me cheer for characters I feel as if I’ve known intimately for years, made me worry for their safety as I would for that of a loved one, kept me hunting for hints and hidden references, pulling on a thread to try to find the end only for it to twist and loop into itself and show me a completely new side to the story.
Yes, This is an Adjuration is a fanfiction piece that explores the winding river flow of the Legend of Zelda timeline and how the stories of each Hero merge into each other. It also stands out for its heavy emotional content, and it doesn’t shy away from angst and hurt.
But to me, Adjuration is an epic journey that taught me how the choices we make, make us in turn. It’s a tragedy that deals with pain and healing, and it bares naked the non-linear nature of grief. It’s a celebration of the things that make us unique, of our flaws, an essay of the impact of little acts of love. Indeed, it’s a story about love.
I can tell you now, This is an Adjuration moved me. It still does. It has a special way to surface in my mind in unexpected ways at seemingly random times, from something as simple as tossing an apple core, to watching a lightning storm in the distance, or finding a picture of an old friend.
And every time, without fail, it makes me think about love.
By @sunny-porridge
This is an Adjuration is a wonderfully and beautifully crafted story about love, loss, and choice as the various incarnations of Link come together and travel through time. Freyja seamlessly weaves a tapestry of setup and payoff across different timelines and loops, in the best-constructed time travel plot I’ve ever seen on page or screen. Even at its surface, Adjuration is an emotional rollercoaster involving tragedy and the soft moments that make that tragedy worth it. But the deeper you look, the more meaning you can pull from every chapter of this amazing work. This work has made me cry, squeal with delight, and think more deeply about its themes all while having an absolute blast reading it. So in summary: READ IT. READ IT. READ IT NOW. YOU WILL NOT REGRET IT.
By @life-in-winter
While I love that every chapter is emotionally enthralling, with carefully woven, visceral tension you crave in any good story, yet Adjuration is more than that, and you feel it in the careful weave of each character and plot point. Nothing is lost or unanswered. It's the kind of story that, by the end, makes you stop and take a hard look at your own life. Are you appreciating the now? Are you savoring joy? Are you so wrapped up in fear that you can hardly take care of yourself? Do you know who you are?
This story is more like an external experience. It's riding atop a tsunami. How do you handle that ride, Link?
There aren't enough words to describe how amazing this fic is.
@needfantasticstories
Artist credit
Legend: @gia-d
Hyrule: @bittirsweeteer
Time: @toonblade
Sky: @noorahqar
Warriors: @whitewinterstar
Wild: @weavingstarlight
Twilight: @bluury2
Wind: @thewitchdoctor39
Four: @lunaopus
Red: @peepthatbish
Blue: @glowingmin
Green: @winterfen
Vio: @waterfallstream
Shadow: @deleetrix
Wolfie: @linkiscool333
Fierce Deity: @awildsilver
Ravio: @lele5429
Malon: @tooner-tastic
Dink: @passerinesoncaffeine
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sweetbans29 · 2 days
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Feud - CC
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Pairing: Caitlin Clark x Reader
Summary: You and Caitlin navigate a long-standing basketball feud (based on THIS, THIS, and THIS request)
Warnings: mentions of injury, slight angst, happy ending
Word Count: 4.4k
Sweetbans Masterlist
AN: I am saying this now, I do not think I will be doing a part 2 for this. Not anywhere in the near future at least.
If someone were to tell you by your senior year of high school you would have a rivalry going on between you and some girl from Iowa, you would call them crazy.
You grew up in Southern California - attending Mater Dei High School and playing ball year-round. You were looked at as one of the most promising college recruits alongside girls like Paige Bueckers and Caitlin Clark. As exciting as it is to be named alongside these girls - it also came with its challenges.
The media caught wind that you were talking to Iowa. Talking initially all about how Iowa was going to be a powerhouse of a team having both you and Caitlin. When you announced that you committed to South Carolina - that is when they immediately pitted the two of you against each other.
It was all funny to you since you had never met the girl. You were encouraged to not look into what the media was saying but there were times that just wasn't possible. You saw how they compared the two of you - never showing the full truth. Even in the facts, they would only take bits and pieces of it and try to show the world how one was better than the other.
When you got to college - it only got worse. You remember your first game against Iowa. It had been all the media could talk about - seeing you go up against Clark for the first time. You saw headlines that went from saying how you didn't want to live in Caitlin's shadow or how you couldn't keep up with Caitlin's growth. Other headlines talked about how she hated you so much that she made you choose a different state to go to school. All of it was a load of bull in your opinion.
At your first game against the Hawkeyes, you were more nervous about all the talk surrounding you and Caitlin than the game itself. You couldn't get the last headline out of your head - 'Caitlin Clark to run circles around SC's freshman'.
"Hey, don't let any of what they are saying get to you," one of your teammates Aliyah says breaking you from the trance you were in.
"Ya, no. I'm good," you say coming back to reality. Aliyah just nods, giving your shoulder a squeeze.
The team goes and plays an incredible game. You were up at the half and were ready to take the second half which is exactly what you did. It was probably your best game yet and you couldn't be more proud.
At the end of the game, someone comes into your locker room and asks you to step outside. You follow before heading to the pressor to find Caitlin standing in an empty hall.
You are surprised and nervous all of a sudden but make your way over to the girl.
"Hi," you say not really sure what to say.
"Hi," she says back. As if just as nervous as you, she awkwardly extends her hand, "I'm Caitlin." You shake her hand and introduce yourself. She continues.
"I wanted to meet you in person in a controlled environment," she says with a little laugh eluding to hiding your first meeting from the media.
"Ya, they have been sort of insane," you say with a laugh of your own. "You had a really solid game today - I can see why so many people love you." You look at the girl standing before you and see her begin to fidget.
"Me?" She says on the verge of shock. " You dominated that court today - I was having a hard time keeping up with you. If anyone had a solid game it was you." She says.
"Well, thank you CC." You say with a smile. "That means a lot coming from you."
"Of course..." She says.
"I am really glad you came here," you begin. "If I'm honest - the media has been a lot recently and I know you are nothing like they are making you out to be. I don't know how you have felt about it but I truly appreciate this gesture. We don't need to be the best of friends, but we don't need to be strangers."
"I like that, although I will never stop trying to beat you on the floor." She says.
"Oh, I expect nothing less. Now knowing you are a sweetheart, I have no problem keeping up this 'feud' the media is creating - it's what the people want." You say playful giving her a little push.
"Oh that won't be hard considering the second we step onto the court my only goal is to bury you into the ground," Caitlin says with a smile. "I am sure we can keep this up and give them what they want with ease. Just know, it is all love off the court."
The two of you exchanged numbers and went on your way. Over the course of the next few years, both of your paths crossed several times. At games, award events, and random camps. Every time the two of you were in the same building the media would eat it up - always posting photos of the two of you giving each other death stares (which never really happened, they just timed it perfectly to make it seem like that or take snippets completely out of context). Since you first met her, the media hasn't taken such a big toll on you. It also helped that she would text you whenever something overly threatening or mean came out. It had you falling for the girl every time - deciding to push the feelings aside, thinking it was just her being sweet.
It was your junior year when things heated up in the media even more than they had in the past. Going into March Madness, all they could talk about was you against Caitlin so much that it brought back all the drama that started when you were going into college. Through it all Caitlin had reached out and reminded you none of it was real. It was very sweet of her.
Your two teams were facing off in the final four and you could not be more prepared.
The game was a close one the entire time - neither team had more of a 5-point lead at any time. It all came down to the final quarter.
Tied going into it - both teams fought to go to the championship game. Two minutes into the quarter things took a turn for the worst.
You were guarding Caitlin - staying vigilant on defense, ensuring she didn't get a good shot. When she went up on a jumper you hit her arm while trying to block the ball drawing the foul. You cursed at yourself for allowing her to go to the free-point line.
She makes the first one with ease and sets back to the line for a second. Everyone anticipates it going in but the second she releases, you can see how her eyes shift as she begins to make her wait for the ball. You cut in front of her, jumping up going for the rebound as she does the same. You get your hand on the ball trying to hold onto it as you make your way down to the ground.
What you weren't expecting was to be shifted so much that when you came down you landed directly on your knee, causing you to let out a murderous scream. Your hands immediately let go of the ball and make their way to the center of the pain - your knee.
The stadium silences immediately - leaving only your cries as you curl up into a ball.
Caitlin - being the closest one to you is hunched over you with her hands on your shoulder while your teammates run to get medical.
"You're okay, you're okay." She keeps muttering as she really doesn't know what to do to comfort you. She knows she is the one who knocked you off balance in the air but never imagined this to happen.
"They are coming," she says trying to restore hope in you.
The medical team comes up and instantly knows they need to get you out of there immediately. They call for a stretcher which comes within seconds of them asking for it. Your eyes are glued shut as you bite the top of your jersey to avoid letting out any more screams.
The pain has blocked out anything and everything happening around you. You can't even remember how it happened, all you know is the centralized pain.
Caitlin watches as they remove you from the floor. She has never been this distressed when it has come to someone leaving the floor due to injury - not even girls from her own team. Cait makes the mistake of looking up at one of the monitors as they replay what happened and tears begin to form on the brim of her eyes as she clearly sees she is the cause of your injury. The media is going to have a field day with this but even more so - all she could think about was how she could ever begin apologizing to you.
Kate makes her way over to the shaking girl and pulls her into a hug.
"That wasn't your fault," she says in her ear. "Don't carry this."
Kate had been the only person on the team who knew the friendship that had been growing into more than Caitlin knew how to put into words. Kate could also see, Cait was very much at fault for what happened but knows how much Caitlin keeps in her head and shouldn't shoulder this right now.
Once you are taken through the tunnel - everyone does the best they can to regroup from the traumatic scene that had just taken place.
Your team was trying to regroup as they had to make adjustments on the court after losing their star player, also just trying to remain composed after seeing and hearing you go down. Kate was trying to get Caitlin to calm down and get her head back in the game. The crowd at this point remained silent until play resumed.
Your team lost to Iowa by 4 and no one could blame them. It was a hard loss but everyone was more concerned what the outcome of your injury would be over the ending of March Madness.
Once you were taken back, they decided it would be best to take you to the ER to get checked out. Shortly after arriving, they determined it was a transverse patella fracture which meant your patella broke into two and it would require surgery to fix if you ever wanted to play again. It was a no-brainer.
The next few days were a whirlwind for you - they kept you in the hospital as they prepped for the surgery and you started recovery after.
Your team came to visit and took turns rotating so you wouldn't be alone. Your manager thought it would be best to stay off of social media which you didn't argue with one bit. The last thing you needed was someone saying how your career was over. You went so far as to get a secondary phone and phone number just to communicate with the team and your family.
Once you were let go from the hospital to recover at home, you finally got your phone back and it was filled with messages. You scanned through them stopping at the one that caught your attention the most.
Phone in hand, you stared at the dozens of missed calls and messages from Caitlin. You clicked into her messages and began to read about how sorry she was and how she wanted you to let her know when you were home. You fought with yourself to listen to all of the voicemails she had left and settled on listening to the last.
You click on it and bring your phone up to your ear.
"Hi," she sounds completely defeated. "I know I have left you countless voicemails but I just really want to see how you are doing. This was never meant to happen - I...I don't know what was supposed to happen but it was not this." You hear the shakey breath that she takes before continuing. "I don't want to keep bugging you if you don't want to talk to me. If I were you, I wouldn't even be listening to this and would have just deleted it but I know you are better than I am and just pray that this gets to you. That this gets to you before any of the media gets to you or spins the story into something it's not. Not that you owe me anything, but I ask that you don't listen to any of it. Don't do that to yourself because none of it is true. It is all lies that they have spun to their own narrative." She is crying now but does the best she can to cover it up. "This was never supposed to happen, I am so sorry." She struggles out and hangs up.
You imagined the first handful of messages were similar to this one and decided not to listen to them. It wasn't out of anger or resentment but you knew that in order for you to move on you couldn't hang on that moment.
The next few months consisted of recovery. You were determined to come back for your senior year and were going to come back stronger and more prepared than you have ever been. When the season started - you were back to training but weren't jumping back into games until the third week into the season.
Your manager did a really good job of keeping you out of the media - per your request leading up to the season. The first time you were brought back into the light was during your team's first game of the season. You were on the bench - coaching and encouraging your team. It wasn't the first time the media had seen you but the first time they got to talk to you. There were preseason training videos that were released that showed you back in practice but always highlighted other players on your team.
During this first game though, you were going to be mic'd up for a midgame interview.
"We are so excited to have you on the air as your team kicks off the season, can you give us insight on how recovery went for you?"
They were really just jumping in. You let out a little laugh and proceeded to answer the question.
"I am excited to be back - recovery was not easy and challenged me in more ways than I expected it would but I can honestly say it has grown me in more ways than playing would have." You say as your eyes are glued to the game happening in front of you. "That a way Tessa! Get back get back!" You yell to your team.
"We got word that you will be back on the court in a few weeks, are you excited to be playing for your senior year?" Was asked next.
"Of course. I have been itching to get back on the court - YES PAOPAO! AND ONE! - sorry, yes I am ready to get back out there and help my team on the court. We have a single mission and are ready to conquer." You say.
"Does that one mission have anything to do with Caitlin Clark?" One of the anchors asks, curiosity getting the best of them.
You take a second to compose your answer.
"I wish nothing but the best for the girl. She has really elevated the game and visibility of women's sports in general. If our paths cross again, which I can see happening - there are no ill intentions." You say and then give your exit, going back to the game.
Caitlin was watching and couldn't stop replaying the video. You never responded to any of her messages - even the ones that came further along in your recovery. You had cut her off knowing it was what you needed. She couldn't blame you but really wanted to pick up where the two of you left off - during your time of not talking she realized how much she wanted you in her life. You were one of the only people she met with the same mentality as she had and could share in the craziness that the media spat out. You brought out the best in her without even being in the building.
Cait watched you for what felt like the hundredth time and really hoped that your paths would cross this season.
Both of your teams went the whole season without playing the other. This only built the tension for the NCAA tournament. You had jumped seamlessly back in with your team and contributed to their undefeated season. Caitlin and the Hawkeyes fought hard coming back for redemption. As the tournament heightened and both of your teams kept winning - the media kept circulating articles about the faceoff everyone has been waiting a year to see, Caitlin and you on the court again.
Right before the Final Four - videos of your injury circulated again and pitted Caitlin as the villain in this completely made-up narrative. When hearing them - it took everything in you to not reach out to her. Everyone was telling you not to talk to anyone about Caitlin. Your manager also strongly advised you to not make any contact considering everything was under a microscope.
You did really well until you saw that Iowa was playing UConn in the final four. You had been friends with Paige for years now and knew they were ready to take on Iowa but something in your heart was rooting for Caitlin.
The morning of the Iowa v. UConn game you did it. You pulled out your phone and sent a quick message. It was a simple text but carried more weight than just the words present - it was the first contact you had initiated since before your injury.
Caitlin was still in her apartment when she got the message. She was straightening her hair with cameras on her for a documentary coming out on ESPN. She puts her straightener down and picks up her phone, trying not to show the message's effect on her knowing she was being recorded. Looking at the phone for longer than needed her eyes were glued to it.
[Other half: You got this.]
She doesn't know how to respond but she wants to. As she is thinking through how, her phone rings. It's Kate. She answers and quickly makes her way out of her apartment knowing she is picking up Kate before heading to the stadium.
Caitlin didn't mention the text she had gotten - not that she could mention anything with the camera crew still present but her mind was going crazy.
The Hawkeyes went in and took UConn by two points, sending them back to the championship and facing off SC in the championship. The face-off every sports fan has been waiting for.
The celebration was grand but Caitlin's mind kept wandering back to how she was going to respond to you.
When she was finally able to make it back to the locker room, she sat and responded to you.
[CC: Can we meet up after we play?]
Caitlin sent it and sort of regretted asking but she wanted to talk to you face to face. You responded faster than she had expected.
[Other Half: Yes]
The championship game comes faster than everyone anticipated. Both teams preparing for one final game. Up to this point - you alongside a Kamilla had committed to the draft. From Iowa - Caitlin had made her statement saying she was going to the draft. Both of you know this last game is a significant one. It would be the last of your college career.
The game is a crazy one - buckets exchanged with the leads fluctuating between your team and hers. At final buzzard it was your team that came out on top.
The celebration was epic as you saw Caitlin and her team make their way to their locker. Pictures were taken and confetti was thrown. When things begin to die down you see Caitlin emerge from the tunnel looking for something. You have an idea that she is looking for you and are proven right when she spots you, nervously making your way to you.
When she approaches you - the two of you nod to one another saying little good jobs. The amount of cameras surrounding you is insane as they get the content of you two together.
You want to put this college feud behind you as you both head into the W so in one swift movement, you remove your jersey. Caitlin takes the hint and does the same leaving you both in your undershirts.
You pass your jersey to her and she does the same with you. You both hold them up and let the media get all the photos they want of the two of you. Once you are done, you pull her in for a hug.
"Meet me in the coach's room," you whisper in her ear. She nods and the two of you part.
You finish the celebration and interviews and head back to grab your stuff. Before heading out, you make your way to meet Caitlin.
When you get there you see a girl sitting in a chair, looking down at her hands as she picks at her nails. She doesn't hear you enter but looks up when you close the door. She immediately stands and makes her way to you not really knowing what to say.
You look at her and pull her into a hug. You never said it but you missed her more than anything.
"I am so sorry," she says, her words muffled as they are spoken into your neck.
"Stop apologizing." You tell the girl in your arms.
"It was all my fault - I was mad and didn't realize my strength when I went up. You were out because of me and I will never forgive myself for that," she says not wanting to let you go.
"Caitlin lighted up on yourself." You say and pull away to look her in the eyes. "If I am honest, I blamed you at first. I was upset and frustrated and blamed you. But as time went on, I realized I only had myself to blame. You were playing the game - I would have done the same exact thing. As I was recovering - I started to be thankful for what had happened because it forced me to grow up. No one likes to be injured but I wouldn't be who I am today if I didn't have that time."
Caitlin nods along to everything you say. You bring your fingers to wipe away the tears that fall.
"If anything I should be the one apologizing," you say and Caitlin shakes her head from side to side.
"No, you have nothing to apologize for."
"I do, I cut you out and I shouldn't have. I am sorry." You say. "Friends?" You ask sticking your hand out in a joking manner.
She takes your hand and shakes it. "Friends." She confirms.
The next week is a whirlwind as the two of you part ways to get ready for the draft. You two talk at least once a day trying to figure out what the next chapter of your lives could possibly look like.
When the night finally comes, it is more than you can imagine. Seeing so many congregate to highlight the sport and get ready for another great season while welcoming the new rookies is something you will never forget.
Caitlin is picked first - heading to the Indiana Fever. You could not be more excited for her. You were mentally prepared to head to the Phoenix Mercury or the New York Liberty.
It comes as a complete shock when you are picked by the Indiana Fever as well. You head up to the stage and go through your initial interview.
As you make your way back - you barely get to the hall before you see someone running up to you. Before you know it, Caitlin is in your arms. Her body is flush against yours as her arms wrap around you, squeezing you with everything she has. You lift her off the ground and squeeze her right back.
You could care less about who is watching - the only thing running through your mind is that you are about to spend the next four years with the girl in your arms.
When you place her on the ground she doesn't let you go but rather buries her face into your neck. You smile and let her hug you for as long as she wants.
It's in this moment that things begin to stir inside you. Your heart swells and you feel whole. Your hand comes up to hold the girl's head. There is no way the two of you are just friends and this moment solidifies that for you.
Weeks pass after the draft and you are getting situated in Indiana. You and Caitlin decided to find an apartment together.
The night of the draft the two of you found your way back to each other after going your separate ways to celebrate. That is when Caitlin admitted to having feelings for you dating back to your sophomore year of college. You sat there in complete awe of the girl and admitted that you had just recently realized your feelings for her but could probably date it to your recovery. From then on the two of you decided to take it slow - knowing how the media has been towards the two of you up to this point.
That sort of flew out the window when she asked you to find an apartment together when you both moved to Indy. And you were sure as hell glad she did.
After four years of the media pitting the two of you against each other, you were finally able to change the narrative. You were no longer rivals but now the new power team ready to take on the W.
AN: Tried to get a little of everything in here, I hope you enjoyed it! And as always, thank you for your love and support 🤍
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penny-for-thots · 1 day
Note
edging the windbre boys ; not requested :]
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[!] ON THE EDGE.
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ⓘ BRINGING THEM TO THE EDGE JUST TO STOP?! gn!reader — smut. includes. sakura, suo, nirei, kaji, umemiya, hiragi, togame, + choji. blow/hand job, ribbons, cock ring, teasing, whining, + edging. aged up 18+ ; now that im writing this, im thinking abt a dry cumming ver...sorry, ive been writing a lot of smut but its the week before my period. im is ovulating, so um...take this <3
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"I CAN'T TAKE IT, PLEASE!!" or, SCREAMING FOR MERCY. he's whining, begging, repeating your name and a phrase over and over and over again. his breath is stuttering and a couple of tears may fall down his face. like- he's legit going to pass out soon from the edging.
SAKURA is shaking. in all honesty, he can go in both this category and the 'JUST ... A MESS.' category, however, what sets him in this one is his begging. he's sobbing, a blushing mess, pleading with you like he'll fucking die if he doesn't get to cum. like, "pleasepleasepleasepleaseplease," is leaving his lips. his legs, his whole body is shaking at this point and he's begging to cum. like- to the point of babbling he's begging to cum, telling you how good it feels, and mumbling to himself that he can't last any longer. GOD FORBID, you put a cock ring on him? girl- he's gone.
CONT. at a certain point, because he's no pitiful, you decide to take mercy. you're tongue licking a long stripe up his length, hand pumping him earnestly. your tongue circles around the head and he cums, hard. like- a big ass load is dumped into your as he's hunched over and twitching from the relief he got.
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"OOH, YOU'RE GONNA GET IT." or, HE'S ACTIVELY SEEKING REVENGE. this man isn't as much of a mess, in fact, he's doing everything in his power to contain his moans and such. he's trying to be somewhat tough and maintain his composure but he's grunting about paying you back. his hands are definitely tied behind his back, though that doesn't stop him from trying to get out of it.
TOGAME is seething. like- he loves it but he cannot wait to have you over his lap, fingering you and stopping until you get the feeling he's getting right now. he's breathing rough, "ooh, baby. im gonna get you back," he hisses, "i—ngh-oh—fucking promise." his arms might be tied, but he's trying to hard to hump your mouth, seeking any release that could push him over the edge. you'd have put a cock ring on him to get him to stop (hear me out though, a cock cage on togame?). regardless, he's grunting, his abs flexing and relaxing, thighs tensing and shaking, and his toes curled as he swears up and down he'll get you back.
SUO is breathing heavy. he's purposefully trying not to say something, so nothing you can tease him with slips out. unfortunately for him, a grunt that transforms into a whimper has your lips coming off of his cock with a pop! he looks down to see a cocky expression on your face. he huffs with a chuckle, "ooh, mm—damn—when we're done me and you are gonna have a- ngh- very long talk." suo bites his lip to prevent his whimpers from slipping, though he doesn't help himself by watching what you're doing. tying that pretty bright pink ribbon at the base of his cock, he's not against it. he has no problem with "feminine" things, but did you really have to tie it that tight? "hayato! you're staining my ribbon!" suo has to fight himself not to say something, he only chuckles, a hiss leaving his lips. oh, you are so going to get it.
KAJI is literally about to fight you. no bull. of course, being the person he is, he isn't allowed to use his hands. though he wants to, he can't shove your face full of his cock. his tongue swirls around his lollipop in a futile attempt to distract him from the warmth of your hand around him. "damn it! i am—fu-ucking—get- getting you back for this!" his his hips lift urgently off of the bed you've got him tied to. his legs are shaking; dazed and low-lidded eyes staring down at you as is orgasm builds, only to fall off at the last second. he nearly growls, swearing he'll get you back (in his head).
CONT. he isn't geting relief (none of them). he's normally a man with a lot of confidence, and yet, he's fucking trembling because he can't cum? i mean sure, he's out to get you later, but it's completely worth it to watch his eyes roll back into his skull, his hips practically convulsing, and thick ropes of cum shoot from his tip and stain his stomach. plus, the breathy "fuck" nearly has you doing the same.
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MR. CAN'T SPEAK, or HE'S REALLY FOCUSED. the man is nearly silent. he either doesn't want to make a noise, or he's like- breathless. he may be huffing, eyebrows furrowed so deeply he'll cause permanent wrinkles. he's looking down at you, but he's more so focusing on not losing his shit because he can't cum. like- "fuckfuckfuck ... " is going through his head while he fights internal demons, and you. how dare you look at him with those pretty eyes?!
HIRAGI strikes me as a quiet man in bed, especially when something like this is happening. his core is tense; his face is tense. eyebrows knitted, eyes screwed shut, jaw clenched, and thighs flexed. he tries so hard not to—to which he fails—though at some point, he genuinely can't. he's moaned and groaned, even whimpered, and now a sound can't come out of his mouth. he's so close to losing it he's lost his voice to beg or whine. "damn—" he croaks, body trembling.
CONT. hes another one where your mercy is his salvation. he just looks so cute- why would make him suffer more? its not until he's allowed to cum does his let out a string of pretty noises, sweat dripping down his forehead and body shaking.
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JUST ... A MESS, or SELF EXPLANITORY. he's losing his fucking shit. this man is damn near wailing because he can't cum. he can't get the release he wants and he's losing his shit. fat globs of tears spill down his cheeks, there may even be snot. he's barely coherent, babbling pleads and jumbled strings of words to get you to let him cum.
NIREI is the one literally about to die from being denied. honestly, the display has you wanting to stop. he's sobbing, his voiced cracked, snot dripping from his nose, and body shaking like a leaf. he barely tell you "sorry," or "please," let alone fully beg. his words are mindless babble, strings of saliva falling from his lips, a web of them shown in his mouth. he keens and whines, "puh- plea- plea-ease!" when i say he's vibrating in his spot, i mean it. hes is NAWT the type of person to be able to handle this type of sexual activity (you can't overstim him either).
CHOJI is ... something. i see choji as someone who isn't too interested in sex, though when it happens he's sooo sensitive. and ridiculously whiny. like- the man will not shut up. he's whining your name, pleading, whispering to himself, cursing—anything. at some point tears start to form and he gets shocked at the waves of pleasure that appear and disappear. he almost gets mad until your tongue starts to work him. his eyes get low-lidded and his body relaxes, it feels to him as if a wave is inches from sweeping him away, and then you stop. and then he sobs. and then he gets mad. then you get back at it. cycle repeats. "i- urgh! can't- can't—awh!" he's legit a fucked up mess, whining and crying like a girl, convulsing and breathing heavy as hell.
CONT. you have to let him at this point, he's not surviving a minute longer. his cock is raw and stiff from your strokes; at one moment, you thought he had accidentally came because of how much pre-cum seeped from the tip. he almost passed out once he cums, that's how much he needed it.
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IT DEPENDS or THE OUTLIER WHO'S MULTIPLE. he can range from sobbing and crying for you, to telling himself not to cum, to being a complete and utter mess. it genuinely depends on how he feels that day, what happened. is he letting lose? is he still up tight? does he need to blow off some steam? it really depends on his mental state. he could go from
UMEMIYA grunts. his breaths are shaky, chest stuttering. he's laughing at both you and himself, he's certainly having fun with the moment. though, his body is being a little fickle. one second he's too hot, he's about to burn up, then the next its calm, though there's that painful pleasure in his groin from being denied. he laughs, "it looks good on me, it's—fuck—like y'r openin' a- pre-present." he looks down at the bow you've tied around his cock. of course, he asked for it. it looks better than he thought. he lets out a shaky breath, core tensing as he tries to keep his noises inside. though, to no avail, as he's a naturally loud person. his grunting and groaning fills the room, tears brimming at his eyes, and saliva pooling on his bottom lip. he bites his lip, chuckling, "fuck—y'r making me lose it!" he moans, "ooh, im gettin' you back."
CONT. he broke from his restraints, a stupid mess and all and forced your mouth to stay lodged on him until he finished shooting ropes down your throat. he watches in amusement as you cough, looking down at the mess he's been made of. he 100% got you back seconds later.
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joelmillerisapunk · 14 hours
Text
How quickly can you take your clothes off, pop quiz
Joel Miller x reader
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Masterlist
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Summary: The enemies to lovers/one bed/forced close proximity/light grumpy x sunshine/patrol partner fic no one asked for.
Warnings: 18+, unprotected p in v, grumpy joel, reader is called "the new kid", reader has breasts but no physical description. It's more tension filled fluffy bickering than smut, but I couldn't help adding a little drop of it in.
Notes: I've been so sick this weekend and was strictly supposed to read fic, but this idea came to me anyway, so I queued it up. I hope you like them as much as I loved writing this. Ty @saradika-graphics , what would we all do without you?
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Evening, Day 1
As you fasten the straps of your worn-out boots, the reality of your first patrol with Joel Miller, the cornerstone of Jackson's defence, settles in. You've heard stories about his exploits, and you're determined to prove your worth, that you're more than just another mouth to feed.
The morning air is crisp as you meet Joel by the gate. He grunts a greeting, his eyes scanning the perimeter with practiced vigilance. You fall into step beside him, the weight of your rifle a comfort against your shoulder.
"So, where are we headed?" you ask, trying to break the ice.
Joel's response is terse as he nods in front of himself. "Out there."
You nod, swallowing your disappointment and try again. "So, Joel, I've been studying the maps, and I think if we—"
"Save your breath. We'll check the traps, clear any infected, and get back before dark. That's the plan."
You nod, a little deflated but still hopeful. "Got it.” You press your lips together, taking his words to heart. 
The rest of the patrol is silent, save for the crunch of leaves underfoot and the occasional direction from Joel. You're vigilant, alert, and when you spot a tripwire, you quickly signal to him, earning a curt nod of approval. But upon returning to Jackson, you go to sign out in the patrol book, and your brows furrow at the entry Joel has already made. 
Patrol Log - Jackson Settlement
Date: Indeterminate, Outbreak
Pair: Joel Miller/The New Kid
Entry Signout: All clear minus the constant chatterbox that seems to think their voice is a homing beacon for every clicker in a ten-mile radius. - J
You didn't even talk that much. You roll your eyes and close the book a little too hard.
Evening, Day 2
You meet Joel at the gate once more, you notice a flicker of surprise in his eyes when you simply nod in greeting, foregoing the usual stream of words. He grunts in response. You're determined to show him you're not just the “constant chatterbox" he'd written about. You've spent the day replaying his words in your head, using them as fuel to prove your mettle.
"Up ahead, there's a blind spot by that old truck. Cover me while I check it out." 
You nod, taking up position without hesitation. 
As he disappears behind the rusted vehicle, your heart pounds in your chest. Every sound is amplified in the stillness of the evening—the distant hoot of an owl, the rustle of leaves in the wind, and then a low growl that sends a chill down your spine. An infected emerges from the underbrush, its eyes locked onto Joel's last known location. Without missing a beat, you take aim and fire—a clean shot that drops it instantly. 
Joel reappears just as quickly as he vanished, his expression one of mild surprise at your swift action. "Nice shot," he grunts begrudgingly before moving on as if nothing happened.  A small victory for you; perhaps he's not entirely immune to your efforts after all. 
The adrenaline from the encounter with the infected is still coursing through your veins as you and Joel continue your patrol. His rare compliment echoes in your mind, fueling your determination to prove yourself further. 
As you make your way back to Jackson, you can't help but feel a sense of accomplishment. You've not only held your own but also protected Joel's back when it counted. 
Back at the settlement, you hurry to the patrol book before Joel can beat you to it.
Patrol with Grumpy McGrumpface complete. All infected cleared. Check back in a few days. And for the record, this chatterbox saved our asses tonight. Maybe next time, you'll  remember to check your blind spots—and your attitude.
You add a little smiley face next to your entry, a playful jab at his perpetual grumpiness.
As you walk away from the book, you glance back to see Joel reading your entry, a slight smirk tugging at the corner of his mouth. It's a small crack in his tough exterior, and it gives you hope that there's more to Joel Miller than he lets on.
Evening, Day 3
The air is tense as you approach the gate, the familiar silhouette of Joel Miller waiting for you. There's a certain expectation hanging between you two, a silent challenge that has been building since your last patrol. You greet him with a nod, the same flicker of surprise in his eyes, quickly replaced by his usual stoic expression.
As you set out, the landscape feels different, almost as if it's holding its breath. You're more attuned to the subtle shifts in the wind, the way the light filters through the trees, and the distant sounds that could signal danger. You move with a newfound confidence, your steps sure and quiet, your senses heightened.
We're going to sweep the old high school today," Joel says, breaking the silence. It's the most he's volunteered about the day's plan, and you take it as a sign of trust, however small.
You acknowledge his words with a simple, "Understood," and follow him towards the dilapidated building that looms in the distance. The structure has seen better days, its windows shattered, the playground overtaken by nature, a haunting reminder of a world that once was.
As you approach, you signal for Joel to hold position while you scout ahead. You move with caution, your eyes scanning for any signs of movement. The silence is broken only by the creaking of a swing, swaying gently in the breeze.
You clear the perimeter, finding no immediate threats, and signal Joel to advance. Together, you methodically clear the classrooms, the gymnasium, and the cafeteria. 
As the sun begins its descent, casting long shadows across the desolate high school, you and Joel finish securing the premises. The tension between you has simmered down to a low hum. It's eerie how the remnants of childhood laughter still linger among the abandoned desks and faded educational posters. You can't help but wonder what became of the students and teachers who once filled these halls with life.
"All clear," you report, as you finish sweeping the last room, your voice echoing through the empty halls.
Joel grunts in agreement, his eyes lingering on the swing set outside, its melancholic creaking a stark contrast to the silence that now fills the school. "Let's head back. It's getting dark."
You nod, but as you turn to leave, a sudden storm rolls in, the sky turning an ominous shade of grey. The wind howls through the broken windows, whipping up leaves and debris in a frenzied dance. Within moments, the heavens open up, unleashing a torrential downpour that shows no signs of letting up.
"Damn it," Joel mutters under his breath, his gaze fixed on the rapidly deteriorating weather outside. "We ain't makin it back to Jackson in this."
Your heart sinks at his words. The high school isn't equipped for an overnight stay—at least not comfortably—and sharing close quarters with Joel Miller is an entirely different kind of danger than what you've faced so far today. But there's no other choice; safety comes first. You follow him to the least damaged classroom and start gathering materials to make it through the night: some old mats from the gym for bedding; whatever dry wood helps you start a small fire, and some canned food from what remains of the cafeteria's supplies. 
As night falls and darkness envelops your makeshift shelter, you can feel Joel's unease mirroring your own—two predators forced into an uneasy truce by circumstance. You both know that despite your differences and his gruff exterior, survival often requires uncomfortable compromises... like sharing body heat when temperatures plummet during stormy nights like these... like sharing a “bed” when there's only one dry spot left in an abandoned high school turned refuge from infected monsters lurking outside.
The storm outside rages on, its fury unabated, as the match from your hand hisses out against the wet concrete floor. The darkness inside seems to thicken and you can feel the cold creeping in, the dampness seeping through the layers of your clothing, chilling you to the bone.
Joel's silhouette is barely visible across the room, his frustration palpable in the heavy silence that follows the failed attempt to reignite the fire. The tension that had momentarily subsided now returns with a vengeance, amplified by the primal need for warmth and the instinctual fear of the unknown dangers lurking in the darkness.
Joel rummages through his bag, the sound of items being shuffled around punctuating the silence. He pulls out a small waterproof match case, flipping it open to reveal just three matches left inside. His fingers, roughened by years of survival and hardship, gingerly pick up the first match. The strike against the side of the box is sharp and swift, but the wind howling through the broken windows extinguishes it before it can catch. A second attempt meets with the same fate, and Joel's jaw clenches in frustration. "Damn it," he mutters under his breath, his voice barely audible over the storm. He looks at the final match with a mix of resignation and determination. "You know, if you were more careful, we'd have more to work with," Joel grumbles.
"Oh, so now you're worried about being more careful?" you retort, unable to keep the sarcasm out of your voice. "A little too late for that now ain't it Miller?” 
Joel glares at you, his eyes narrowing in the dim light. "I've been careful," he growls. He strikes the last match, shielding it from the wind with his hand. But again it fails, leaving you with no heat. 
You can't help but feel a sense of satisfaction at seeing Joel struggle. "Yeah, well, maybe you should've thought about that before we ended up in this situation," you say.
Joel shakes his head. "You think this is fun for me?" he asks. "Stuck in this godforsaken place with someone who can't stop talkin?”
You glare at Joel, his silhouette a dark shadow in the dim light. "You think I wanted this?" you snap back, frustration seeping into your words. "I'm here because I have to be, just like you."
Joel grunts in response, his gaze fixed on the remnants of the failed fire. "We don't have time for this," he says gruffly, standing up and brushing off his pants. "We need to conserve body heat."
Reluctantly, you both make your way to the makeshift bed, nothing more than a pile of old gym mats and whatever dry fabric you could scavenge and a small emergency blanket meant for one person. The thought of sharing such close quarters with Joel is unsettling, but survival trumps discomfort every time.
You lie down first, turning your back to him as he settles in behind you. The awkwardness of the situation is not lost on either of you. You can feel the heat radiating off his body despite the layers between you. As minutes pass in silence, save for the howling wind and rain lashing out, Joel shifts slightly behind you. His arm drapes over your side as he tries to find a comfortable position—and then his hand accidentally brushes against your breast. You stiffen instantly; it's an intimate contact that neither of you expected nor wanted under these circumstances. 
"Whoa! Watch it!" you exclaim indignantly, trying to wriggle away from his touch while still maintaining contact for warmth's sake—a delicate balance indeed under these cramped conditions.
Joel recoils as if he's been stung by a wasp. The tension in the room spikes, and for a moment, neither of you moves. Joel's breath hitches, and you can feel his body tense up behind you. The accidental touch has set off a chain reaction of awkwardness, and you're both acutely aware of the other's presence. "Sorry," Joel mumbles, his voice rough with embarrassment. "I didn't mean to..." His sentence trails off, lost in the sound of the rain pounding against the roof.
You nod, acknowledging his apology, but the damage is done. The line between survival and intimacy has been blurred, and the close proximity is playing tricks on your mind. You can't ignore the warmth of his body, the steady rhythm of his breathing, or the fact that you're both very much alone in this abandoned high school.
Minutes tick by, and despite your best efforts to keep a respectful distance, the reality of your situation becomes increasingly apparent. The cold is seeping in, and the need for warmth can't be denied. Slowly, almost imperceptibly, you find yourself leaning back into Joel, seeking the heat that his body is so eager to provide. He stiffens at the contact, but he doesn't pull away. Instead, he cautiously wraps his arm back around you, pulling you closer. 
It's been a long time since either of you has felt the touch of another person, the comfort of human contact that goes beyond mere companionship.
Joel's breath is warm against your neck, and you can feel the evidence of his arousal pressing against you. It's a startling realization, but it's met with an unexpected surge of desire that you can't quite suppress. The knowledge that he's affected by your closeness is thrilling, and you can't help but wonder if he can sense the effect he's having on you as well.
The line between necessity and want is blurred, and in the end, it's the human need for connection that wins out. With the storm as your only witness, you turn to face Joel, your eyes meeting in the dim light. There's a silent question hanging between you, one that's answered with a soft, almost hesitant kiss. The kiss is an exploration, a rediscovery of a basic human need that has been long neglected. It's a slow burn, fueled by days of tension and the shared experiences that have brought you closer than either of you could have anticipated. Joel's hands find their way to your face, cradling it gently as he deepens the kiss, his tongue tracing the contours of your lips before slipping inside to meet yours in a dance that is both familiar and new.
The cold is forgotten as warmth spreads through your body, ignited by the friction between you. You find yourself pressing against him, seeking more contact, more heat. Your hands roam over his chest, feeling the firm muscles beneath the fabric of his shirt. The sensation sends shivers down your spine, and a soft moan escapes your lips as Joel's fingers deftly undo the buttons of your shirt, revealing skin that is hungry for his touch.
There's an urgency building between you now—a primal need that cannot be ignored or denied any longer. Clothes are shed hastily; each piece removed reveals another patch of warm skin eager for exploration and connection
As the last of your clothes fall away, the cool air of the high school classroom is a stark contrast to the heat that radiates between you and Joel. His hands trace a path down your sides, exploring the curves of your body. The rough pads of his fingers leave a trail of goosebumps in their wake, and you can't help but arch into his touch, seeking more.
Joel's gaze meets yours, and there's a vulnerability in his eyes that you've never seen before. It's as if the walls he's built around himself are crumbling down, brick by brick, revealing the man beneath the hardened survivor. You reach up to cup his face, feeling the stubble scratch against your palms, grounding you in this moment—a moment that feels both surreal and more real than anything you've experienced in a long time.
With a tenderness that surprises you both, Joel lowers his lips to yours once more, kissing you deeply as he positions himself between your legs. The anticipation is palpable; every nerve in your body is attuned to his presence. As he enters you, there's a brief moment of discomfort followed by an overwhelming sense of fullness—a completion that transcends physicality. You move together in rhythm; each thrust is punctuated by gasps and moans that echo off the walls of the abandoned classroom. The world outside has ceased to exist; all that matters is this connection—this desperate need for closeness in a world gone mad.
Joel's pace quickens; his breath comes in ragged gasps against your neck as he drives into you with an urgency born of months—if not years—of pent-up desire and longing. You meet him thrust for thrust, your fingers digging into the muscles of his back as waves of pleasure crash over you both.
The tension builds within you like a storm gathering strength—a tempest that threatens to sweep away everything in its path until there's nothing left but raw sensation and pure ecstasy coursing through every fiber of your being until finally - release washes over you both in a rush of heat and sensation that leaves you gasping for air. The world around you fades away, replaced by the pulsating rhythm of your shared climax. It's a moment of pure, unadulterated bliss.
As the aftershocks subside, you find yourselves entwined in each other's arms, your head resting on his chest and the steady beat of Joel's heart is a comforting sound against the backdrop of the relentless storm outside. The cold is kept at bay by the warmth generated by your bodies, and for the first time since this ordeal began, you feel truly at peace. 
Eventually Joel's breath evens out as he falls into a deep sleep, his body relaxed and sated in a way you've never seen before. You take a moment to study his face—the lines etched by years of hardship softened in slumber, revealing a hint of the man he might have been under different circumstances. With gentle care, you extricate yourself from his embrace and pull on your clothes, intending to keep watch over the sleeping giant beside you.
The hours pass slowly; dawn is still a distant promise when you hear it—the unmistakable sound of movement outside your refuge. Your senses immediately go on high alert; adrenaline courses through your veins as you cautiously approach one of the broken windows, rifle at the ready. The storm has lessened but not enough to obscure the shapes moving in the pre-dawn gloom. Infected? Or something worse?
You glance back at Joel, still lost in sleep, and make a split-second decision. You won't let whatever danger lurks outside reach him while he's vulnerable. Steeling yourself, you slip out into the storm-ravaged landscape. The rain pelts against your skin, a relentless barrage that does little to dampen your resolve. You move with purpose, your eyes scanning the darkness for any signs of movement.
The high school grounds are eerily quiet, save for the occasional clap of thunder echoing in the distance. You keep low, using the remnants of the playground equipment as cover as you make your way towards the source of the disturbance. The last thing you want is to lead any potential threats back to Joel.
As you approach the perimeter of the school, you catch sight of a small group of infected, their grotesque forms illuminated by the occasional flash of lightning. They seem disoriented, their movements erratic as they struggle against the wind and rain. It's clear they're not here for you; they're simply passing through, driven by some primal instinct to seek shelter from the storm.
You take a deep breath, steadying your aim as you prepare to engage. The first shot rings out, echoing through the deserted schoolyard. One of the infected drops to the ground, its body convulsing before falling still. The others turn towards the sound, their milky eyes searching for the source of the threat.
You fire again, and then again, each shot carefully placed to conserve ammunition. The infected fall one by one, their bodies piling up in the mud as you advance, keeping the upper hand through sheer determination and skill. But as the last one drops, you hear a new sound—a low growl that sends a chill down your spine.
You turn just in time to see another infected emerging from the shadows, its jaws snapping hungrily as it charges towards you. You raise your rifle, but the mud beneath your feet gives way, sending you sprawling to the ground. The infected is on you in an instant, its weight pinning you down as it tries to bite through your rain-soaked jacket.
With a surge of adrenaline, you manage to free one arm and reach for the knife strapped to your belt. You drive the blade upwards, aiming for the infected's exposed throat. The creature gurgles in pain, its grip loosening just enough for you to wriggle free and deliver the killing blow.
Panting heavily, you push the infected's lifeless body off of you and take a moment to assess the situation. The immediate threat has been neutralized, but you're acutely aware that more could be drawn by the sound of the struggle. With no time to lose, you make your way back to the school, your heart pounding in your chest.
You slip back inside and secure the door as best you can. You turn around and see Joel is already awake, his eyes scanning the room as he reaches for his weapon. The sight of you, unharmed, brings a look of relief to his face, quickly replaced by a scowl. "Where the hell were you?" he demands, his voice rough with sleep and worry.
"I heard something outside," you explain, keeping your tone even. "I went to check it out."
Joel's expression darkens. "You should've woken me up, you could have gotten killed out there," he grumbles, his concern for your safety masked by his usual gruff demeanor.
"I didn't and you needed the rest," you reply, meeting his gaze. "Besides, I can handle myself.”
Joel's jaw clenches, and for a moment, you think he's going to argue. But then he just nods, acknowledging your capability even as his protective instincts chafe at the thought of you facing danger alone. "Next time, wake me," he repeats, his tone leaving no room for argument.
You can't help but smirk at the gruff concern in Joel's voice. There's a part of you that enjoys getting under his skin, challenging the walls he's built around himself. "You know, Joel," you say, your voice light but your eyes serious, "I think you might actually care about what happens to me."
Joel's scowl deepens, but there's a flicker of something else in his eyes—something that looks a lot like vulnerability. "Don't get the wrong idea," he grumbles, looking away. "I just can't afford to break in a new partner."
You chuckle softly, shaking your head. "Sure, Miller. Keep telling yourself that." You walk over to where he's now sitting and nudge him playfully with your foot. "Admit it. You like having me around.”
Joel rolls his eyes, but the corners of his mouth twitch upwards in a reluctant smile. "You're alright," he concedes, his voice gruff. "But don't let it go to your head.”
You can't resist the urge to tease Joel a little more. "I think you protest too much, Joel Miller," you say with a playful grin. "I mean, first you can't stop complaining about my chatter, and now you're almost starting to sound... affectionate."
Joel's eyes narrow, but the ghost of a smile still lingers on his lips. "Don't push your luckp," he warns, his voice carrying a note of fondness that he's unable to fully conceal.
You lean in closer, lowering your voice to a conspiratorial whisper. "You know, for someone who pretends not to care, you sure were... attentive last night," you say with a sly grin, your eyes dancing with mischief.
A flush creeps up Joel's neck, and for a moment, you think you might have pushed him too far. But then he chuckles—a low, rumbling sound that you feel more than hear. "You're a pain in the ass, you know that?" he says, shaking his head in mock exasperation.
You beam at him, feeling a sense of triumph. "Maybe," you admit, "but you like me anyway.”
As the first light breaks through the retreating storm, you and Joel prepare to leave the high school behind. You gather your belongings, exchanging quiet glances with Joel as you both acknowledge the shift in your relationship.
The journey back to Jackson is uneventful, the aftermath of the storm leaving the world outside quiet. You walk side by side, your boots crunching on the wet gravel. Joel seems more at ease, his usual stoic demeanor softened.
Upon your return to the settlement, the familiar sight of the gates brings a sense of relief. The guards nod in recognition as you pass.
You make your way to the patrol book, your fingers brushing against the worn pages as you prepare to document the latest entry. Joel watches you, his expression unreadable, as you pick up the pen and begin to write.
Patrol Log - Jackson Settlement
Date: Indeterminate, Post-Outbreak
Pair: Joel Miller/The New Kid
Entry Signout: Patrol complete. High school secured. Infected cleared. Storm provided unexpected overnight stay. No serious injuries to report. 
You pause for a moment, considering your next words carefully. With a small smile, you add a final note
Casualties: Zero. Zilch. Nada. Unless you count the ego of a certain grumpy individual who may or may not have been out-shot by yours truly.
You cap the pen and step back, allowing Joel to read your entry. His eyes scan the page, and you see the ghost of a smile tug at the corner of his mouth as he reads your postscript. He doesn't say anything, but the look he gives you speaks volumes. 
As you turn to leave, Joel's hand catches yours, his grip firm yet gentle. 
Hey," Joel says as he pulls you closer. "I, uh... I don't know how to do this," he admits, his gaze dropping to where your hands are joined.
You give his hand a reassuring squeeze, offering him a small, encouraging smile. "Do what, Joel?" 
He takes a deep breath, his throat bobbing as he swallows hard. "This," he repeats, gesturing vaguely between the two of you. "The... talking about feelings stuff." 
You can't help but chuckle at his attempt to articulate his feelings, the corners of your mouth curling up into a smile. "Is this the part where you tell me that despite your better judgement, you've grown fond of me?" you tease, squeezing his hand in return.
Joel rolls his eyes, but there's a hint of amusement in his expression. "Somethin like that," he admits gruffly, releasing your hand to run a hand through his disheveled hair. "You've got guts, I'll give you that. And maybe... maybe I don't mind the chatter as much as I let on.”
Your heart skips a beat at his words, the gruff admission meaning more to you than any grand declaration of love ever could "Well then," you say, stepping closer to him, "I guess this means we're stuck with each other."
Joel's response is a low chuckle. "Yeah," he agrees, his hand finding its way to the small of your back in a gesture that feels both new and familiar all at once. "I suppose it does.”
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f1boistrash · 1 day
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i have a name | l.s
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a/n: so this is an idea i had after the miami gp and its been stuck in my head so im finally writing it. there is some slight jos slander and reader is max's sister
summary: y/n verstappen drives for f1 academy. they find comfort in a certain american when the media gets too much
Your whole life you've always been Max's sister. You didn't hate your brother for it because it wasn't his fault. You hated the world for being so small minded. You hated your dad for not caring. His words stuck in your head like a broken record. 'You're overreacting Y/N. It's not a big deal. You need to grow up.'
But it was a big deal because why couldn't they be bothered to learn your name. Your accomplishments throughout your career always amounted to 'Max's sister' it was never 'Y/N Verstappen'. You were sure if they could your trophies would say that too.
Going into the F1 Academy you thought it'd be different. You were excited when you got the call. The first person you told was Max and he was even more excited than you, if that was even possible. You were at the forefront of the series, watching young girls across the world become interested in the sport you loved. Something you wished you had growing up.
The driving was great. The team was great. Everything was great except the media. Its the one thing you dreaded stepping into the spotlight more. You tried to develop a thick skin like your brother but it was difficult when you constantly got picked at.
"So, Y/N, great day today. You qualified third. How was it?" The interviewer asked.
"Yeah it was great. Obviously we'd prefer P1 but we're still happy with the result and looking forward to pushing it even more tomorrow." You replied, grinning at your result. It might not be front of the grid but you were still proud.
"Your brother Max had a phenomenal season last year. Can we expect the same this year?" And there it was. Your first interview of the weekend and it only took one question before they asked you about your brother. Normally you didn't mind talking about Max's accomplishments. You were so unbelievably proud of him. It's when they start talking about him when they should be asking you about your race and your season that you get annoyed.
You plastered on your fake smile, hoping no one saw the disappointment flash across your face. "It's hard to say what this year will bring but what I do know is that Max will give it his everything. Whatever happens though I'm still proud of him."
Before anymore questions about Max could be asked your manager made a sign that time was up. You thanked the interviewer and left the media pen. She gave you a run down of tomorrows schedule as you were now finished for the day. Your manager didn't need to ask if you were okay because she knew you weren't. Working with you for a few years meant she had learnt all your tells.
You thanked her for today before parting ways, leaving you alone. The night air was brisk but welcoming. You shut your eyes and sighed enjoying the silence. You were supposed to be meeting Max tonight yet you couldn't bring yourself to move. Not wanting to face him just yet.
It was late and you weren't expecting many people left at the grid. Especially the F1 drivers which was why you jumped when a voice broke the silence. "Y/N right?" Logan said, your stomach fluttered when you looked at him. You have never really spoken to Logan before, only seeing him in passing but you always thought he was cute. He also called you by your name and not 'Max's sister' which was a welcomed surprise, used to his friends calling you that. "Sorry, didn't mean to scare you."
"It's fine, just wasn't expecting anyone to be left at the track." You told him. You took in his appearance under the setting sun. He was in his Williams uniform, his hair slightly tousled from wearing his hat all day.
"Yeah, I was just heading out. Had to do a few tweaks before tomorrow. What are you doing here late?" He asked.
"Media." You grimaced. Logan laughed, understanding your reaction.
"That bad huh?"
"Yep." You nodded. "Talked about Max the whole time."
The two of slowly started walking towards the car you have rented this weekend. It was one of the few left in the parking lot. "Seriously? That's so shit." Logan said, shaking his head. It wasn't out of pity though, more like anger.
"You get used to it." You shrugged.
"You shouldn't have to though." He told you, pulling you both to a stop. His eyes, looking at you intensely making you nervous. "You were incredible out there today and I'll definitely be watching tomorrow as you get your first podium of the season."
"Wait, you watched qualifying?" You asked, surprised.
"Don't tell my trainer though." Logan grinned, winking at you making you laugh. It was a sound he could get used to.
"Well thank you Logan. It means a lot." You thanked him, coming to a stop when you reached the drivers seat door.
"You have a name, Y/N. Your not just Max Verstappen's sister and I hope you know that." He said, earnestly.
You don't know what came over you but you found yourself leaning up, pressing a kiss on Logan's cheek. "Thank you."
-x-
"You're late." Was all Max said as you walked through your hotel room door. You kicked off your shoes, walking further into the room seeing your brother lying on your freshly made bed scrolling on his phone.
"Don't you have a sim race or something?" You asked, shoving his feet off your bed trying to change the subject because what else can you say? The reason you were late was the slight breakdown you had about the interview and then you bumped into Logan. You couldn't exactly tell Max that.
He playfully stuck his middle finger up at you, knowing you were making fun of him. "How was your day anyway? Excited for tomorrow?"
"Yeah it was good." You lied. You liked that Max was oblivious sometimes because it meant you didn't have to talk about what people said about you. However, you also hated his obliviousness because sometimes you wanted your brother to comfort you. "Hopefully people won't get sick of the Dutch national anthem." You grinned at Max who laughed loudly.
You asked Max about his day and he told you about how confident he was with this years car, excited to see what he can get out of it. He carried on talking as you got out of your team uniform and into some comfy clothes when he quietened down.
"When were you going to tell me?" Max asked when you exited the bathroom. "About what the interviewer said?"
"It's fine Max." You said, avoiding his gaze on you by putting your clothes away. You were afraid if you looked at him the dam would break.
"It's not fine, Y/N." He huffed, his voice raising out of anger. It wasn't aimed at you though, Max would never raise his voice at you. "It was so unprofessional. Not to mention the commentators today couldn't even be bothered to learn your name. I'm going to do something about it."
Max's reaction reminded you of Logan's. You didn't think anyone would care this much. Especially someone who you never really had a conversation with before. You knew it was pointless to ask Max to leave it alone so you didn't bother. "Just please don't do anything stupid."
"When have I ever done that?" Max asked and you laughed. You would run out of fingers if you counted all the times Max did something stupid.
It was getting late and you and Max said your goodbyes, leaving you alone once again with your thoughts. Instead of the video on repeat in your head it was Logan's words. You reached over for your phone and unlocked it, going straight to instagram to find Logan's profile. You hit follow before going to his dms.
Y/N:
Thank you again for tonight.
His response was quick making your stomach flutter.
Logan:
You don't need to keep thanking me Y/N
Y/N:
I know
I enjoyed talking to you tonight
So thank you for your company 😊
Logan:
I enjoyed talking to you too 😊
I hope we can do it again some time
You were sure you were grinning like an idiot but you didn't care. You had fallen for the American and hard.
Y/N:
I would love to ☺️
Good luck for tomorrow Logan 💙
Logan:
Good luck Y/N 😊
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Straykids favourite place to kiss you
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◇ Chan ◇
your neck is definitely one of his favourite places.
I don't mean in a sexual way (unless you want it to be 😉)
he will be obsessed with just wrapping his arms around you from behind and places little pecks on your neck.
Chan had just gotten home from the studio, and you were sat at your vanity, taking our your earrings when he came up behind you and hugged your shoulders. His head disappeared in the crook of your neck, and he began to place small kisses on the skin, making you giggle and pat his head.
◇ Minho ◇
this man would die to be able to kiss your head.
he will kiss the top of your head anywhere he could.
Stood in a queue? Smooch. He's taken a break from dancing? Smooch. About to fall asleep? Smooch.
You and Lino were waiting in line to order your boba, and he stood behind you so that no guys could look at you in your skirt. His hands were placed on your hips, and you were turned away from him, texting someone on your phone. As the next person went forward, minho leaned closer and placed a small peck on your head.
◇ Changbin ◇
one thing changbin cannot get enough of is kissing your lips.
he knows it's a little basic that that's his favourite place but he can't help it.
he just loves ur lips sm <3
will literally kiss you anywhere and in any situation.
he really couldn't care.
Changbin had been working out for nearly three hours, and you were starting to get a little worried. You know that he tends to go pretty hard when he's at the gym but never for this long. So, with that, you decided to head down to the gym and check up on him.
"Hey baby, you okay?" You'd ask, stepping up next to him by the weights.
"Oh, hey darling," he'd respondz placing a small kiss to your lips.
◇ Hyunjin ◇
he definitely loves kissing your shoulders.
like we're talking about your bare shoulders.
idk why but I think he'd have a thing for that.
hyunjin would literally kill to be able to kiss the soft skin of your shoulder.
You and Hyunjin had a routine most nights where you would shower, he works get distracted by you coming out of the shower, you'd fuck, and then you'd both get a shower together afterwards. Tonight was the start of one of those nights. You had stepped out of the bathroom in nothing but your towel, your bare shoulders open for Hyunjin to see. He practically ran over to you and stood behind you, arms around your waist as he placed small pecks to your skin, going from your jaw to your shoulder and then staying there.
◇ Han ◇
• he is OBSESSED with forehead kisses. • any opportunity he gets, this man kisses it almost immediately. • I'm talking like you two could be sitting in your room, having a nice time watching a movie together and he will just attack your forehead with kisses • definitely forgets that you have a lot of makeup on sometimes and ends up with some of it on his lips if it isn't set properly.
You and Han were waiting for the bus into Seoul to go dress shopping for your sister's wedding. It was a pretty chilly day so you were shivering a little, the thin fabric you had brought to keep you warm not doing its job. Han sees how cold you are and pulls you into his arms, your head now shoved into his chest. you look up at him and smile as he presses his lips to your forehead.
"That better for you, baby?"
◇ Felix ◇
• felix is definitely the type to love kissing you on the cheek. • he loves how much you blabber about how the freckles on his cheeks are so adorable, so he feels the need to give your cheeks some love too. • your face always goes bright red whenever he presses his lips to it, the blush making Felix feel better about what he has done
You and Felix were cuddled up together on the couch of the boy's dorm, everyone else had left to go to the studio for a few hours but Felix wasn't feeling too great so he decided to stay home. In hopes of making him feel better, you had gone over to join him on your day off. His face pressed into your neck and his soft breaths sent a tingle down your spine, you couldn't think of a better place to be. Just as the movie you were watching was getting good, you felt a silky pair of lips press against your cheek and you knew exactly who it was.
◇ Seungmin ◇
• now, seungmin. he is a simple man when it comes to kissing. similar to changbin, he also loves kissing your lips. • the feeling of your lips against his brightens his day completely. • you just know that he gets so snotty on tour when he can't see you, him missing your lips just as much as you miss his.
"Hello, my love," Seungmin says, walking through the door of your shared apartment.
"Hi!" You exclaim, happy to see him home so early.
You run over to him, taking his body into your arms and burying your head in the crook of his neck.
"Missed me that much?" He asks, laughing at you.
You giggle back, removing your head from where you had placed it to look up at him. He looked so handsome at this time, the ambience of the streetlights outside hitting his face so perfectly, the way his hair parted to reveal his forehead. You loved it.
"Stop staring and give me a kiss, baby."
◇ Jeongin ◇
• your nose. more specifically, the tip of your nose. • I don't know I just think he would feel like it is such a cute gesture and he would do anything to make you feel special. • it's just the way his hands cup your face as he leans in. • actually have my children.
Today was a rough day for you. While out shopping, you see your old friends and it reminds you of all the good times you had with them before they broke your heart. You had come home soon after and broken down into Jeongin, his words of support and comfort not having the effect the both of you had hoped for.
"Baby, I know you're not gonna believe me when I say this but it's gonna get better. Sooner or later, you're going to realise how little they actually mean and that you are so much better without them in your life."
The man grabs your face and forces you to look up at him. "I love you."
With that, he places a small kiss on the end of your nose, making heat rise up your face, and causing your ears to redden. You look so cute when you're flustered.
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crazy4nika · 2 days
Text
look for the light
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warnings: injury, but thats quite literally it!!!
nika muhl x reader
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you dropped to the ground, clutching your knee in your hands as tears instantly spilled from your eyes. you heard a whistle blow, then everything went so quiet.
your fist found the ground as you cried out in pain.
everything was so blurry. people stood above you but you couldn’t make out anyones faces.
it was all too much. the lights were so bright, it made your head throb. you squeezed your eyes together so hard and covered them with your hands to block it out, but nothing worked.
“hey,” a hand was placed on your shoulder. “its okay, look at me.”
you pulled your hand from your face reluctantly and wiped your tears, blinking more away.
a brunette girl was kneeled in-front of you, brushing flyaway hairs away from your sweaty face. “everything’s okay.”
“no its not. it hurts so bad. its not okay.” she shushed you while she twisted your ponytail around.
nika grabbed your hand lightly as they sat you up. geno and paige stood above you, talking to the medics as they asked questions.
geno lent down, “hey kiddo, were gonna try to stand you up and get you over to the side, alright?” you nodded your head lightly in response.
nika wrapped an arm around you and began to help you up, the medic grabbing your other side.
as soon as you were up, a cry escaped your mouth the second you were upright.
panicked breaths escaped your mouth as you failed to stand. not managing to put any pressure on your leg. “i know it hurts, but we have to do this,” she mumbled out, more of your weight falling to her.
geno hushed a few of the girls over to the bench, all of them glancing back over with worried looks. “she needs to try one more step, then you put her back down if she can’t.”
“we need to move her.”
“you will do as i say. you will do what is best for my players.” geno spoke sternly, trying to cover up his slight anger.
the second medic, a shorter girl, smiled lightly at you, “can you try one more time, honey?”
“mhm.”
nika held your hip even tighter, pulling more weight off your leg. “you’ve got this, baby.”
a light cry escaped your mouth as you took another step, quickly stepping off of it and onto your other leg. “ geno stood infront of you, “what do you think.”
“let me keep going, please.”
“does it hurt?”
you took another step, “yes.”
and as you went for another step, you crumbled into nikas side, tears filling your eyes again. “shh. sit down.” you were so dizzy, and so tired. as soon as you reached the floor, you couldn’t stay awake anymore. the pain was too much. the light slowly turned into darkness. you would’ve been scared but nikas worried eyes staring into yours were enough to calm you down as you went out.
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you were only out for about five minutes, but it felt like forever to the entire team.
they will admit, moving you off of the court was much easier when you were passed out. nika held your hand the entire time. she refused to let go, so when you woke up on the floor by the bench, she was sitting next to you still. ice was placed over your forehead and your knee.
after you blinked the fogginess away, it was almost like you never fell asleep. the pain was back. it was so horrible.
paige and caroline were there as-well, sitting on the floor. they were leant over your leg.
it was purple around your knee, bruising happening very quickly. geno got down on one knee by you, “hey, they’re gonna bring you in.”
“m’kay, thats fine.”
you rolled over to your side, the bags of ice falling off as you curled into a ball.
paige rubbed your back, mumbling about how its going to work out good. caroline just stared at your leg, processing what happened. nika loosened your ponytail just incase you got a headache while she murmured sweet words into your ear.
you held onto one of her hands and your other hand clutched the front of her jersey.
as they loaded you onto the stretcher, she dropped your hand for the first time since it had happened. she furrowed her eyebrows and gave you a light smile before turning away, not looking back. she knew that if she turned around she wouldn’t be able to leave you.
the entire ride was surreal. it was as if nothing had happened in your head. you were still on that court with your team. you were still with your girls.
you had the game playing live on your phone. you wanted to know how it was going, but they were off. it was almost like they didn’t care for the rest of the quarter. you would’ve thought that they didn’t, if you watched how they played. it was so messy.
when the buzzer sounded they were down sixteen. the fourth quarter began minutes later, and they were closing the gap. it was a seven point, then four, then two, and then they were tied. in the final seconds they took the lead, securing the win for uconn.
you smiled at the screen as they celebrated, sinking further into the hospital bed.
doctors came in and out, poking around and asking more questions.
after multiple test and a mri, they had decided it was a torn acl.
it was as if everything had suddenly fallen apart. you thought that there would be nothing wrong, you had convinced yourself. but there was something wrong, and it was season ending.
the shock slowly left and it turned into being upset, then angry. you just laid there and silently cried.
after an hour, geno came into the room. you guys didn’t talk about your leg, he was trying to take your mind off of it. then nika came in and he left. she spoke so softly, wiping tears off your face. she pulled you into a hug and rubbed your back, pressing light kisses to the side of your head. “it’s gonna be okay, baby. i promise,” she mumbled lightly, twirling your ponytail around.
you looked at her through watery eyes, “i’m so mad. how could i let this happen?” you sobbed, tugging on the collar of her shirt. “no, stop it. its not like you could’ve predicted this. everybody gets hurt sometimes.”
“but this isn’t a sore ankle or a broken finger. i’m gonna have to get surgery, and i’m out for the rest of the season!”
she cupped your face with her hands, “take a deep breath, please. i’ll do it with you, okay?”
you nodded at her, focusing on your breathing. “there you go…good girl.” she pulled you into a light hug, sitting on the side of the hospital bed. you cuddled into her side, pressing a quick kiss to her lips. “don’t leave, just stay here,” you whispered out.
“i’m not going anywhere.”
and that was the truth. she was with you when you went in for surgery and when you woke up. she was there for your first step on your leg. she was there when you starting playing basketball again. she never left.
“nika?”
“whats up?”
“your the light of my life.”
send reqs please i’m sooo boredd im begging youuu
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cvnt4him · 1 day
Text
................................................
"woah would you look at that, deku just took out that guy with a single punch!"
"he's so amazing!~"
"you're my hero!!!"
So many people chant, root, and holler for even the slightest glimpse of his attention, even a glance.
"Mr deku, what can you tell us about this villain, you hadn't even put up much of a hassle and yet he appears to be tired!" One report gleams.
It's true. He hadn't done too much, one simple practically, light punch and the criminal was already down, he knew that. Deku knew he was good, he knew others thought he was good. He thrived on that kind of energy.
"oh~, well you know, I'm not one to brag nor bring other people down, criminal or not we're all human." He sings to the reporter, hinting at the fact she gave the measly little lowlife schmuck at best, a promotion to 'villian'. cameras flashing everywhere as he heard a bunch of girlish screams, everyone looks over to see a bunch of fan girls rallying to get an autograph.
Dammit.
Izuku tried so hard not to let his smile faulter, its not that he disliked his fans, really he could never, he knows one of the reasons he's here is because of his fans, and he loves them all equally no matter what. However. scrolling on the Internet, especially as a pro hero it's hard not to go down a loophole of your own fans. Izukus fans are nice, sure. But they're also bat shit crazy.
Doxxing people for disagreeing, assuming he was gay for his best friend dynamite, writing fanfiction about him and his best friend dynamite, assuming he had a new significant other because he changed up his style of clothing??
Really his fans are too much, he loves them, he does. But they are just so...smothering?
As he sees the fans hurrying toward him he tries his hardest to jump away as he was stopped by a little deaf girl who wanted an autograph.
Shit. You can't NOT give a little deaf girl an autograph it'd be bad publicity. he sighs deeply in defeat, knowing how easily persuaded he is, he'll most likely be there standing, on his feet, smiling wide and big for fans, for the next hour and a half.
Izuku sighed deeply through his nose as he finally, after 5 more hours of working, made it back to his bed, that's all he wanted. He didn't bother taking his suit off just simply jumping in his bed and groaning at the comfort he longed for.
He grabbed his phone and opened Twitter.. that was the first mistake of the night, he scrolled through his feed coming across a post of a girl just rambling about her ever lasting love for deku.
He shifted in his bed so now he was laying back on his pillows, turning up the sound to hear your beautifully slurred voice.
"- like bro.. I don't think any of you understand how my NEED for this man is like just.. sigh. I'm about to go crazy bro. If I were given the chance I'd do unholy. Unspeakable. Down right horrendous things to this man, i- aHaAVE YOU SEEN HIS NEW HERO SUIT??" You were talking to your friend who had the idea to start recording you while you were drunk, laughing and snorting at you.
The video was posted by you, the caption read; 'my friend started recording while i was drunk and i randomly went on a rant ab my love for the #1 hero 💀'
He snickered at this, genuinely finding it funny, but sooner or later it registered in his brain what you'd said..you'd do what to him.
Before he knew it he was semi hard, he looked down at his slight hard on confused, there is no way this turned him on?? He had been sent so many videos of his fan girls from all ages going down on a dildo with his name slapped on it, he never found it the least but attractive, just kind of desperate..
He watched the video again, his cock becoming fully erect as he sighed at the uncomfortable feeling of his now leaking, completely hard cock, rubbing against his suit pants.
It had been a while since he'd done something like this.. since he had used someone..he needed this, just to relax. Just a couple of strokes to get him to come, that's all.
He let out a shaky sigh, slowly trailing his thick fingers up and down his clothed cock, earning a light squeak to rip from his throat due to the slight pleasure he felt from the gentle actions.
He knew he needed it, he needed this so badly, but he wouldn't rush it. He hated when he rushed things, he says 'they never get done correctly'.
So he would be patient with himself, gently palming himself over his suit pants, letting breathy sighs leave his slightly dried and chapped lips.
He looked over to his phone to see the paused video...
'oh what the hell.' he thought to himself as he grabbed the phone, angling and holding it close to his ear to hear your voice and the loud laughs that he hopefully tried to blur out of his mind. Focusing on your voice fully.
He held the phone close to his ear closing his eyes listening to your slurred speech, and the hiccups and giggles that left your mouth, he bit his lip as his palming motions began to get harder and more rough, "I would do down right horrendous things to this man." That line stuck with him, that's what made him undo his pants and shimmy them off so he could fully touch his leaking, crying cock.
He groaned in embarrassment and disgust in himself at the sight of his already soaked boxers, why did his cock have to be so leaky!!
He whimpered at the sight, pulling his boxers down just enough to have his cock hit against himself. He wrapped two fingers around his cock and rolled his eyes back, biting his lip to sustain the sound that wanted to come out. He stroked himself slowly, letting the precum on his tip continue to drip down his thick cock.
He had listened to the audio all over again this time fixating on the part where you'd talked about his suit. He had changed up his suit a couple of times, never really straying away from the original concept he had in highschool, the green was always there to stay, and he always liked the fact his suit was more of a jumpsuit kind of thing, but changing it over the years, he went with a tighter fabric for his new and improved suit, removing the bunny ears at the back, and adding a white cape, replacing his huge bulky gloves with just as thick, smaller and well fitted ones, the white the painted his suit was now black.
He hadn't done much to his suit really.
But you and so many others thought it was the sexiest thing in the world.
He loved that, that you loved his suit, he whimpered in a pitchy octave, eyes crossing as he shut them, breaths becoming uneven as he wraps his whole hand around his aching, dripping, cock. It yearned for release, he needed it, it hurt so bad but felt so good he couldn't stop, he was sooo close!
So so close, and yet.. not close enough to get him there. He abandoned all self respect and hope for 'not rushing things' he needed to come and the only way he could is if he really touched himself.
He ripped off the top of his hero suit before rummaging in his bedside drawer to grab a Fleshlight, it was a lot more advanced than your normal average pussy shaped fleshie, it had handle and so many different modes!!! It vibrated and wiggled and had a squirt thingy that shot lube inside to make his cock slippery, not that he'd need it, his cock is like a water fountain with so much cum to give.
He turned it onto its highest setting before settling his twitching cock, dribbling with precum, inside of it.
He couldn't contain the line of moans that ripped out of him, he wanted to really he did, he wanted to keep quiet for his neighbors but he just couldn't, he felt so fucking good, he'd felt that he'd never been this hot or bothered before especially not because of some measly audio that wasn't in any way remotely sexual, and yet he was so close to cumming because of it. This video. This person. You.
You were so close to making him cum.. he was right there bucking his hips up into the contraption, shaking, whilst his whole body spasmed as he threw his head back, sweat dripping from his tired and spent body, he groaned and moaned so loudly it was so lewd, he was so lewd. He couldn't believe what he was doing, he felt so dirty, but in this very moment, he couldn't care. He was so drunk off of the immense amount of pleasure he was receiving that all he wanted, needed, was to cum.
And when he finally released with a high pitched moan, globs of tears leaving his rolled eyes, there was so much, ropes of his white, hot, thick cum squirting inside of the toy. It was still vibrating against his softening cock, it made him so overstimulated yet he couldn't move, his orgasm was so strong he didn't have the energy to take his cock out. He just sat there, holding onto the toy that continuously vibrated and massaged his limp, thick, crying cock, crying, sniffing, and whimpering.
Hell he'd probably already came again without even knowing it, his orgasms had gone on for a while, he still couldn't move, just blissfully laying against his bed, covered in sweat and tears streaming down his reddened freckled face.
As he regained his composure, the overstimulation was more than enough, he hiccuped, wiping his face from the tears and sweat that covered it, as he turned off the toy and tossed it off of his bed, he was half naked, hot, and hungry.
He groaned as he draped one of his arms over his face, feeling the sweat and tears cover his forearm, as he heard the video that had been playing over and over again on repeat. His eyes shot wide open as he scurried to grab his phone. he looked at the video in disgust. Had he really just gone to a new low, and came to this stupid video of a dumb drunk girl complimenting him??
His post nut clarity was always bad, especially because he did some pretty down bad, disgusting, sinful things. But this? Yeah he deserved to suffer for all eternity.
He groaned placing his phone under his pillow as he buried his face in said pillow, squeezing his eyes shut at how hard he'd came, his cock still filthy and sticky with his thick ooey gooey cum, now dirtying his bed.
................................................
AN: he hates himself for how much and how hard he came, he really does.
I'm making a pt 2🤭
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fuwaprince · 3 days
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🌟 Calling ALL Compassionate Souls! 🌟
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PLEASE READ CAREFULLY
In the heart of my local community lies a sanctuary of hope. A haven where lives are transformed and futures are rebuilt. My dear friend's family home, which has been a beacon of kindness and generosity for many (myself included), is in jeopardy. As in it could be lost FOREVER in 1 week! For good! Countless souls of every background have found solace within its walls and were guided back to stability and success. Now it all faces an uncertain fate... unless, we come together to make a difference!
This is not just about saving a house; it's about preserving a legacy of compassion and support. Every dollar donated, every share, every act of kindness WILL make a monumental difference.
We positivity bloggers/tumblrinas know not to underestimate the power of a supportive community!! 😤 We have made literal fucking miracles happen in the past through our unwavering camaraderie and solidarity. I know we can do it again, collectively. Let's band together, once again, virtual hand in virtual hand, to ensure that this sanctuary of hope continues to shine brightly for those in need. Please! People deserve safe spaces... that aren't just virtual.
Please lend your support and spread the word, and together we can make a difference and ensure that this sacred space remains for generations to come.
Mr. Leonard is a talented man. He is a proud native and the modest master of a few trades. He is a carpenter, a painter, a jeweler, an arborist, a plumber and more... He never charges anybody for his work and, you know, if he did- which he wouldn't, then his contributions to local and overarching communities would have earned him a mansion by now. Seriously, maybe two.
He built this home alongside his grandads. His handprints are on the ceiling still. It's a token of his love and the labor he's willing to put into this home. He is a father, a survivor of many things. When his babygirl passed, he gave all her stuffed animals away to people who needed them. He's the kind of man who feeds his dog and neighbor before his skinny self. This man is such a light and I cry so hard typing this, realizing that nobody rly supports him. He doesn't get the support he deserves. He starves to keep the lights on for everybody here and, only if he's lucky, a friend might bring him fast food so that he has more than cereal to work on. Many people take full advantage of a generous soul like his. He knows this, accepts it and that never stops him from doing what's right and needs to be done. He has saved my life and making this post is the least I could do. He's a grown ass adult but even grown ass adults (like me and all my friends still here) need help along the way.
The oldest resident here is a senior transient with no family and no place to go. Just like Mr. Leonard. And I've met young men as young as 18 with no families come to his home for much needed guidance, for protection from the streets. Mr. Leonard has empowered women to escape abusive marriages through the process of divorce. He helped me escape my tormentors. He has my admiration and respect. He has my support.
Please help my friend. I have known him for a few years now, talking nearly daily, minus the times I go on hiatus. Now he's desperately reaching out for our support. Please don't ignore him. He is the type who never asks for anything. Even when he needs to. I... don't even think he's asking for himself... He's probably asking for all the people that he knows depend on this home to still exist. I rly want him to be able to exist in this home for the rest of his life. To him it's still "grandma's home" but to me it is truly all his. He's the one taking care of it. Please believe me, he is worth the time it took for you to read up to this point.
He is human. Worthy of unconditional compassion, respect and support... worthy of a home- like you and I. And he's happily willing to share his gifts with those who need it, which makes him a hero in this community. 🏡💖
ANYTHING HELPS. REBLOG + DONATE.
SPREAD THIS ACROSS PLATFORMS LIKE WILDFIRE. PLEASE.
IT'S FOR A VERY SPECIAL AND VERY IMPORTANT FRIEND! 🫂💕 PLEASE SHOW YOUR SUPPORT. I AM BEGGING PEOPLE TO CARE. MR. LEONARD NEEDS HUMANITY BEFORE IT'S TOO LATE.
THANK YOU. STAY SAFE, AND IF YOU CAN'T, BE CAREFUL 🫂
or as Mr. Leonard would always say: "Whatever you do today, do it well. Don't forget to eat today. You're awesome, stay awesome."
#save the sanctuary#community strong 💪#please signal boost and help#i rly should have helped Mr. Leonard sooner!! i regret not typing this post for him during summer#it took a long time for us to meet but he is truly one of the nicest and most positive souls#he has a dog named karma who keeps everyone here safe#i came here with a bunch of cleaning supplies to clean this place from top the bottom just for the realtor to ask him to leave#he has somehow been allowed to stay here in the home he grew up just by what seems like sheer fucking luck#when his grandma passed he didn't get left with anything no help no family PLEASE#this man deserves to be in the home he grew up in#he still calls it his grandma's#this is their family home#i type this now while being protected under their roof#this place has offered me peace and the people here have offered me so much love#this place restored my humanity#this is the place grief is finally shared and traumas are healed from#people have come from all walks of life#so many people will be out of a home#of hope and of care and of help#myself and karma and Mr. Leonard included#pls pls pls remember me#i have been gone for so long but if we're friends and you're part of the community then don't let the chance to help slide by please#ANYTHING helps even if its $1#if all my followers donated $1 he would at least have a solid 40K#idk how many more helpful souls we can reach but please reblog if you cant donate#boost#crowdfunding#gofundme#fundraising#donations
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Note
AITA For Not Budging On A Potentially Unconventional Need?
I (M20+) have BPD and Autism, and when I was younger, they'd both team up to cause me a lot of struggle.
One of the biggest things I used to do was self isolate when I was upset or worried, and just sit around after throwing out some red flags, hoping someone would read my mind and ask me if I was alright.
OBVIOUSLY THAT WASN'T VERY HEALTHY, neither for myself or for others. I definitely think that was an "ESH" time period.
So now that I'm older, in therapy, taking meds, and generally doing better and am a lot happier, I put clear communication as my #1 priority in all of my relationships.
I don't phrase anything in a way that sounds confrontational, I don't tell people what they can or can't do, who they can or can't talk with, don't get jealous too easily, etc. I only ask for honesty, compromise, and mutual respect for boundaries.
I really thought I was doing well for myself by swapping "I won't communicate at all" out for "I need to communicate often"
But one thing that I just can't seem to stop is the paranoia when it comes to people I'm particularly close and very vulnerable with; I'll notice certain changes in their demeanor and worry it's because I've done something wrong, or that they don't like me as much anymore. Sometimes I CAN brush it off and wait it out until I'm inadvertently proven otherwise.
But if it's not going away, and I'm worried it's just getting worse, I need to just ask for their honest thoughts and get it over with. If for some reason they were actually upset, my intention would NOT be to double down or lash out. I just DON'T want to be strung along by a lie, as has happened!
This isn't really that common of an occurrence either. Maybe every few weeks during particularly hard periods.
I don't feel this way about people I'm not very close to, and people who do manage to get very close to me know this about me; I keep no secrets about my mental health and try to be extremely upfront. A lot of people will say at first that they understand, but over time, I'll eventually get that flack and heartache from them, saying that it's just too exhausting for them. At best, I'm kinda teased for it. It's made me feel like I haven't made as much progress in my recovery as I thought I had, which sucks.
It's not me starting arguments or fights, or accusing them of anything. Just me saying "Hey, I've been feeling a little paranoia lately, is everything okay between us? Is there anything we should talk about?" or something like that.
I'm really conflicted about it.
On one hand, I feel like if things are okay, it shouldn't be difficult or tiring to say "Nope, everything's alright, dw!" If you still like me in a certain way, why would it be tiring to just say so? It takes maybe five seconds to type/say. The only way I can see it being tiring is if they were just telling me white lies about how they felt, and had to maintain the act.
On the other hand, I know BPD isn't without its delusions, and that Autism isn't without its "misunderstanding of social norms". I know I'm likely to see things differently from others. I know it's not exactly EASY to love someone like me. Maybe it IS too much of a demand, and I've just convinced myself it's not?
This IS something I'm trying to work through in therapy regardless, but I just worry that it isn't a symptom that will ever fully go away, and instead it needs to be worked with.
Am I the asshole for standing by that, at LEAST for now? Is it fair? Or is that too much of a need for people to reasonably accommodate? Am I just not trying hard enough to be better?
If I ever got particularly close to someone again, would I be an asshole for again insisting that if I need reassurance to dismiss an oncoming spiral, they should be able to meet that need instead of asking that I keep the paranoia to myself and just deal with it on my own? Which may or may not work, or even make things worse.
I know it can make people feel like I don't trust them. That much I do understand! But I've tried telling them that it's not that I don't trust or respect them, I don't trust or respect myself. I dunno if that makes sense to anyone without BPD, though.
This is both a "Was I the asshole?" and a "Would I be the asshole?" ask I guess, lol
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0cta9on · 7 hours
Text
Stuck With You
length: +2k words
Genre: Fluff
NewJeans Minji x Male Reader (OC)
(Author's Note: My first commission!! Thank you to f_r_e_s_h for purchasing a commission, I appreciate it a lot :) If you're interested in buying a commission from me, head on over to my ko-fi page!!)
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【☆】★【☆】★【☆】★【☆】★【☆】★【☆】★【☆】★【☆】★【☆】★【☆】★【☆】★
 A light breeze brushes past you, relieving you of your exhaustion for a brief moment as you watch the sun set below the city of Paris from the balcony of your hotel room. The 14-hour flight from Korea was hell, but the view alone made it all worth it. It has always been part of your bucket list to visit Paris one day, it’s a shame that you won’t be able to actually experience any of it though. With the International Summit starting tomorrow, you need to be extra focused on your work as a diplomat representing your country.
A cafe sits across the street from your hotel, beckoning you with its warm and welcoming light. You watch as the people inside talk and laugh about things you can only assume, enjoying one another’s company on this chilly winter day. A nice cup of coffee sounds great right now, but you have to be ready for tomorrow. But… It’s not tomorrow yet. The night is still young, giving you a couple hours to check out the cafe and maybe even explore the city for a little bit. You did all the extra work you needed to do on the plane, so there’s no reason for you to stay in your hotel room. After the summit is over, you’ll be on a flight straight back to Korea, and when are you ever gonna have the time to come back to Paris again? Besides, you’ve been working too hard for far too long, you deserve to have a small break.
Without hesitation, you grab your coat and exit your room, beelining it straight towards the elevators as you mentally practice the little French that you learned before the trip. With a resounding ding, the elevator doors open and you walk inside, only a couple floors standing between you and the City of Light.
The elevator shifts to a stop on one of the floors, opening to reveal a girl around your age wearing a mask and a cap pulled low over her eyes. Even with the majority of her face covered, you could feel the aura of elegance and beauty surrounding her. Her outfit isn’t anything crazy on the surface - a hoodie layered with a leather jacket and a clean pair of jeans - yet something about the way she wears it is so attractive. You wouldn’t be surprised if you find out that she’s a model for Paris Fashion Week, which coincidentally occurs at the same time as the summit.
“Hello,” you greet as she steps into the elevator. She returns your greeting with a simple nod, a small gesture that makes your heart flutter. You didn’t necessarily believe in love at first sight, but you imagine this is how it would feel like.
The elevator descends in silence, save for its mechanical rumble. Due to the nature of your job, you meet a lot of important people from around the world, so your conversational skills have naturally improved over the years. However, you suddenly find yourself tongue-tied around this random girl, not even a simple “How are you?” can escape your lips. All you can do is sneak little glances at her, but now you just feel creepy. Oh well, it’s not like you’re here to meet women or anything of that sort. You just want to feel some freedom for a little bit.
Suddenly, you nearly fall to the ground as the elevator begins to jerk violently. A hauntingly loud creaking noise can be heard from outside as the elevator abruptly stops its descent. The girl trips forward into your chest, and you instinctively catch her, holding on until the elevator eventually stops swaying.
Both of you share a huge sigh of relief. Even if the elevator stopped working, at least you're not plummeting to your doom.
“T-thank you,” the girl says, her voice trembling slightly. You meet her eyes for the first time, suddenly greeted by the most beautiful shade of brown you have ever seen. They’re invigorating like the strongest shot of espresso, sweet like the creamiest hazelnut chocolate, and warming like the first cup of hot cocoa in the winter. You could spend hours, no, years just looking into her eyes, getting lost in every flicker of her irises and every flutter of her lashes.
“Um, are you okay?”
“Y-yeah, s-sorry,” you stutter nervously, finally letting her go. You turn away from her, hoping she doesn’t notice the deep red in your cheeks.
She starts pushing buttons at random, but none of them seem to work, not even the one to call the firefighters. A wave of dread washes over the both of you at the realization that you have no idea how long it’ll take to get out of this metal coffin. Maybe an hour at best, maybe never at worst. With nothing else you can possibly do, you resign yourself to the ground, resting your back against the wall. This is what you get for trying to live a little - you get trapped in a box, forced to think about the consequences of your actions. All because you wanted a cup of coffee.
The girl sits across from you, tossing her hat and mask off in defeat, ruffling her silky black hair with her fingers. Your breath hitches in your throat - she is absolutely gorgeous. You swear you’ve seen her face before, maybe she’s a model for a high-fashion brand or the daughter of a rich CEO who ends up getting in the news for trivial matters. Either way, you can’t help but stare at her, slack-jawed in awe.
“Um, did you want an autograph or something?” She asks, her eyebrows raised in judgment.
You pick your jaw up off the ground, your cheeks burning red with embarrassment. “N-no, sorry, you just look really familiar. Have we met somewhere before?”
She chuckles lightly at your expression. “No, I don’t think we have. I’m Minji.” She reaches her hand out towards you in a friendly handshake, which you accept with a smile.
“I’m Eric. It’s nice to meet you, Minji.” The two of you share a laugh despite the unconventional circumstances. “Weird question, are you Korean?”
“Wah, that’s a good guess. How’d you know?” Minji tilts her head like a curious puppy, causing your heart rate to skyrocket. You can’t fathom how someone can be this cool, cute, and pretty all at the same time.
“Your name,” you explain. “I live in Korea for work, so I’ve gotten used to hearing Korean names.”
“Really? What do you do for work?” 
“I work at the embassy in South Korea representing my country. I’m actually in Paris for the International Summit this week.”
“Oh wow, that’s so cool!” Minji’s eyes light up with wonder, her smile making you forget about the dire situation you’re in.
“Hehe, thanks! What about you, what do you do for work?”
“I, um…” She hesitates, lost in thought. “I’m here for Paris Fashion Week.”
“That makes sense, you’re very beautiful,” you suddenly blurt out. Your eyes grow wide with shock at your own words. “I-I mean, uh-”
“No, it’s okay. That’s very sweet.” A light pink hue graces her cheeks as she smirks at you. “So, is this your first time in Paris?”
You let out a sigh of relief, thankful that she didn’t take your compliment weirdly. “Yeah, it’s my first time. I was gonna go out and see the city for a bit since I’ll be swamped with work for the next couple of days, but now I’m… here.”
She nods in understanding. “That’s what I was doing too. It’s difficult to find a moment to myself because of my job. Don’t get me wrong, it’s a ton of fun, but sometimes I feel like a robot following orders, not really being able to live.”
The space between you falls silent in contemplation. You know that feeling all too well. You love that you’re able to help thousands of people every day by being a voice for the people who need it, but work can often get in the way of what you want to do. When was the last time you spent time with your family? Or sat down with a good book? Or went on a date? When was the last time you were able to breathe?
“If you weren’t stuck in here right now, what would you be doing?” You ask in hopes that it will lift the mood.
“Hmm, I don’t know. Probably walk around and take pictures of all the pretty lights. Maybe get some ice cream if there are any shops open.”
Your ears perk up. “Ice cream? In the winter?”
Minji puts her arms up in defense. “Before you go judging me, just try it for yourself first, alright?”
“No, I like it too!” You exclaim, surprised that you found someone that thinks like you. “I don’t like waiting until summer just to eat ice cream. It tastes better during winter anyways.”
“Oh my god!” Minji jumps up in excitement. “Finally, someone who gets it! All my friends called me weird for eating ice cream when it’s cold outside!”
Enthused by her energy, you stand up to meet her. “They just don’t understand that it doesn’t melt as quickly so you get to enjoy it for longer.”
“Right?!”
You suddenly find yourself inches away from her face, staring into her big, round eyes. The subtle heat of her breath brushes against your cheeks, warming your entire body. You would gladly spend forever stuck in this moment with her, watching the reflection of the universe in her eyes.
As the saying goes, all good things must come to an end. Minji pulls away, leaving you breathless. You quickly change the subject before the air between you gets too awkward to the point of no return.
“So… Paris Fashion Week. How’d you get involved with that?”
Much to your relief, Minji eases up, leaning against the wall as she turns to you. “I was invited by Chanel to come and watch their show, and I’ve always loved fashion so there was no way I was going to decline the invitation.”
“Oh, you’re watching the show? I assumed that you were modeling for them,” you say.
She chuckles to herself, blushing slightly. “Are you sure you didn’t break the elevator on purpose just so you could flirt with me?”
“N-no, I didn’t, I swear!” You stutter, flustered. Minji cackles like a hyena at your expression, causing you to keel over in laughter yourself from the insane sound coming out of her mouth. The sound of joyous laughter from two strangers fills the small elevator, unsure of how much time has passed or if you’re ever going to get out of there. You wonder what would’ve happened if the elevator worked normally. Would you be here talking like this? Or would the two of you go about your night without a single word shared between each other? Sure, seeing the streets of Paris would have been great, but would it have been as great as this?
Both of you find yourselves lying side by side, staring up at the bright fluorescent light, your stomachs aching from laughter. Despite it being your first meeting, you can’t help but feel like you’ve known her your whole life. Maybe it’s the same way survivors of a big tragedy bond through shared trauma or something like that.
“Do you really not know who I am?” Minji asks after a long silence. You rack your brain for any possible memories of ever seeing her, but only a faint silhouette appears in your mind.
“Sorry, I really don’t,” you answer. “Oh god, don’t tell me we’re old classmates or something. I would feel terrible if we used to be friends and I didn’t know.”
Her laugh tickles your ear like spring grass brushing against your legs. “No, it’s not like that. Honestly, it feels kinda nice that you don’t know anything about me. No expectations, no questions, no nothing. You just treat me like…. a regular human being,” she sighs.
“Now I’m kinda scared to ask who you are,” you quip, catching a smile from her. “Maybe I don’t have it as bad as you, but I can relate to you somewhat. There’s a lot of people depending on me to make the right decisions and if I miss up even a little bit, so many people get affected by it. If I get recognized in the streets, sometimes they’ll outright tell me what to do, talking about how their families would suffer because of me or outright threatening me to do what they want. It feels like I’m constantly walking on a tightrope being held by two sides that hate each other. No matter what I do, someone is always unhappy.”
Minji meets your eyes in mutual understanding. “That sounds really tough. I’m sorry, Eric.”
Such a simple gesture, yet one that you desperately needed. Talking to her feels like a massive weight is being lifted off of you. The amount of silent suffering you’ve had to endure over the years is finally being unloaded without judgment. With how many people’s lives you affect every day, you never truly realized just how lonely you feel. Thanks to Minji, you feel a little less alone.
“So, what is that you do?” You ask to lift up the mood. “I’ve been dying to know. I’m assuming you’re a celebrity of some kind?”
She smirks at you. “Have you ever heard of New Jeans?”
And then it clicks. You’ve seen her face plastered everywhere in Korea, billboards, ads, commercials, less than 24 hours ago you walked past her face in the airport right before you left. While you aren’t the biggest Kpop fan in the world, you would be lying if you said you didn’t have Hype Boy in your playlist for a solid month.
“Ah, so that’s why you looked so familiar. I’m glad you’re not a classmate I forgot about,” you joke.
“I wouldn’t be surprised if we were friends in another lifetime. You’re very easy to talk to.” Minji meets your eyes, casting that warm smile that makes you feel at ease. You forget that you’re in this tiny box with no way out but patience. You forget that in less than 24 hours, you’ll be surrounded by the most important figures in the world, attending a conference that can impact billions of people across the globe. You forget about your feelings of loneliness, anxiety, and stress that you’ve been feeling recently. As you look into Minji’s eyes, all you can think about is her. Her kindness. Her radiance. Her laugh. Just her.
The elevator begins to shake around you, rumbling to life. Your eyes shut, bracing for impact, but all you feel is the gradual descent of the elevator before it lands on the first floor. You and Minji stand up, not a word exchanged between the two of you. Is this… it? Is it over? Are you just supposed to go your separate ways now?
The doors open to reveal the owner of the hotel on the other side, relief and guilt painted on his sweaty face. “I-I am terribly sorry about the elevator, are you two alright?” He asks.
As you reassure him of your safety, you notice Minji quickly slipping past, donning her mask and hat. You decline the owner’s offer of a free spa day and chase after her.
Minji is an idol. Intimidatingly gorgeous, held to an impossibly high standard that she somehow manages to exceed at every turn. Despite that, she’s also kind, humorous, and down to Earth, nothing like many of the celebrities you’ve seen on social media. Even in your brief meeting, she understood you. She wanted to understand you. You can visit Paris again sometime in the future. But Minji? You’ll never meet a person like her again.
You push through the doors, hit by the frigid winter air as a gentle dusting of snow falls upon Paris. Minji stands at a cross walk, her silhouette covered by unmistakable, and you quickly catch up to her. “H-hey, hi, um…” The words get caught in your throat as nervousness overwhelms you. Can you really do this? Would you be able to make this work with your busy schedules? Maybe, maybe not. But you’ll never know if you don’t try.
“Would you want to get a cof-”
“Yes,” Minji interrupts you, her voice lilting with enthusiasm. “I would love to have coffee. With you.” The snowfall catches in her eyes, glimmering with hope and excitement.
All the nerves you felt moments ago completely wash away, replaced by disbelief and an indescribable happiness in your heart. Minji intertwines her fingers with yours, warming your body against the cold as the two of you cross the street towards the cafe and the rest of your lives.
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genericpuff · 15 hours
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So there's this account I follow on Tiktok that critiques some webtoons and LO was one of them. They're discussing the finale and my god the comments are glorious. Lots of the people commenting either fell off the comic or were once die hard fans who hated what happened. Some of them even were fans of the series who recently started hating it after the hiatus. From what I saw this was what their concerns were.
Apollo not being punished harshly enough
Last minute queer rep with Hera
Certain plots being thrown in and old ones being tossed out
The ending feeling rushed.
Some of them are blaming Webtoons for 'axing the series' so Rachel had no choice but to rush it. Others are questioning why was there a hiatus at all if this was the pay off?
So now even some of the fans are starting to feel like we former fans do.
Yeeah you know it's not good when even the fans were left going "... huh?" And frankly I do feel bad, as much as I've talked shit about the stans in the past, so many of them hung on with the genuine good faith that it was all "building up to something". There are also people who are still praising it as the best thing ever which, okay, that's them, and people who didn't love the finale but are leaving it be like reasonable non-obsessed people.
I'm not entirely convinced that Rachel ended it willingly, I've seen Webtoons cut series short during their midseason hiatuses by telling the creators "okay once you come back you have this many episodes to wrap it up", so while it is shocking to see it happen with WT's golden goose, maybe they saw the decline over the past several months and realized it was time to cut it loose. But ultimately I can't ever know if it was Rachel calling it quits or Webtoons, not unless one (or both) of them come forward and say anything regarding that. I can only wonder, and in reality, none of what I wonder really matters because it's over.
Again, I do feel bad. I remember when the trial arc was going on and the whole Eris reveal happened and I had that sinking feeling in my stomach that maybe the comic wasn't all it was cracked up to be, that maybe it wasn't going where I had been hoping and assuming it would go. I imagine there are a lot of people feeling that exact same thing right now. I do hope, at the very least, they find their closure through whatever future projects Rachel does or through other comics that fill the void left by LO. I'm definitely hoping the same for myself, tbh, now that the comic is actually over for good I feel like I can finally put my obsession with it to rest, even just a little. Although tbf I'm really just refocusing that obsession onto Rekindled, which I have a much more positive relationship with LMAO but I'm very thankful to have it and I owe that to LO, in all its perks and quirks and flaws.
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