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humornaut · 10 months

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Hey, @basil-daisy here.

I just wanted to drop by because there's something that has been eating my insides for a long time and I can't get it out of my head.

I wanna talk about the scenes in Black Space, more precisely the scenes in the Church of Something, both the Sunny route and Omori route, although the Omori route one was really the one that made me think.

Have you ever thought about how the scene where Omori finally finds and "saves" Basil in the Omori route feels strangely like... A wedding?

It's not only the bridal style way Omori catches Basil. It's the way Basil lightly complains about Omori being late, the way they stop as Omori gives Basil his flower crown back and how directly after the act is interrupted by Stranger, who objects the whole "thing". A spectacle a bunch of "guests" witness.

I was always really curious about the church symbolism. For example the way Basil is stuck at the top of the church. I've tried really hard not to think about what usually is in the same place in churches because that comparison is making me die inside, even if it weirdly makes sense (Basil died for your sins U^U).

Besides that we have Sunny's interesting relationship with religion. Mainly that he probably feels insanely guilty. He feels judged by all the religious statues, moreover the snow angels, which are also one of my favourites, don't need to have the game tell us Omori feels judged by them. You feel it just by looking at their eyes.

The fact that Basil is in a church of all places is so telling too. Besides masses churches are known for holding weddings and, well, funerals. And in case of Faraway town's church is has a graveyard right behind it, where Mari lies.

I wonder if the scene in the Omori route is supposed to feel like a wedding but also double as a funeral (considering it marks the end of Stranger and his admittance of defeat that is actually a premonition of Basil's death in real life). It's one of the few scenes between routes that changes drastically and what it represents is absolutely fascinating.

What is really interesting also is that in the Sunny route the scene feels is completely different. It no longer feels like wedding. If anything it is just Basil begging for forgiveness, which does of course ties well with religion. But he's not begging for God's forgiveness, no, he's begging for his best friend's forgiveness.

I imagine this might be another way of showing us that Basil idolises Sunny as well as telling us that Basil feels really bad (what an understatement).

I also question if the Omori route scene is there to mirror the Sweetheart marriage scene somewhat, but I think I would need to dwell a bit more on that to come reach a proper conclusion.

Anyway, I hope you're having a lovely day! 💜

Wow, this is a really good ask! I'm going to break it down into a few different parts.

The Symbolism of the Church of Something

I think you are right on the money in how things go down in the Church of Something in the Omori route. The entire scene does almost play out as a wedding! Not just as a marriage to Headspace Basil, but as a final marriage to Headspace in general. After Sunny moves, whether or not he ever finds out about the fate of the real Basil, he has wholly become Omori. Stranger's objection does represent the last vestige of Sunny's mind trying to stop him from doing this; after all, saving the real Basil is the only loose end that Sunny really feels a responsibility for in a way that he can fix. He may want to see his other friends again, but he doesn't feel guilty for not doing so, because he feels he doesn't deserve it. Basil's a different story, because he knows he did Basil wrong for the selfish reason of protecting himself from his past.

To deepen the significance of this "wedding to Headspace Basil, and with it, a marriage to the concept of Headspace itself", I also want to point out that there is an implication that the end of Black Space in the Sunny route is not an end to the loop of Headspace, which won't happen until Sunny decides to shatter the light bulb on the next night. There is Stranger dialogue in the hub area that makes clear that killing the Basil that has seen the truth in Red Space is something that usually happens, and when you go there, you can find multiple of Basil's bodies littering the area. Instead, it's the Omori route that "breaks the loop of Headspace", via Stranger choosing to attack Sunny for abandoning Basil and the others.

That's not even mentioning the things that happen after this in the Omori route.

The flower crown that Headspace Basil gives to Sunny in the last Headspace Night in the Omori route provides twice as much HEART as the next best charm in that department (with those charms being the the Pretty Bow, a charm tied to Aubrey, and the Tulip Hairstick, a charm tied to Omori). The use of the word "precious" is also used in the Sunny route, in the description for Basil's Photo Album:

All three of these charms are only accessible in the Omori route, as well. The Pretty Bow item is only receivable after defeating Abbi, and is explicitly described as "too flashy for your taste".

Finally, so long as we are talking about weddings in Headspace, there is another thing that we would be remiss not to talk about. To go along with your mention of the Snow Angels (who have another interesting connection that I will go over later), the charm that you get from completing this area is the Wedding Ring.

As I've mentioned before, there are three different charms that allow the wearer to start happy, and they generally have fairly romantic connotations. First is the daisy, which both you and I understand is likely tied to Basil, but also has a romantic connotation due to the context of being a reward for assisting a character acquire a gift for their crush.

The second is one that I would also tie to Basil.

The Heart String is such an interesting little item, and the way it is tied to Basil isn't as immediately obvious as the Daisy. First off, this item is really easy to miss. You have to grab it during the chase section within Humphrey, and you can't go back to grab it afterwards to get it. There is also another item in the same area: the Blender weapon for Hero. This item immediately sets off alarm bells in my head, because smoothies (the only snacks in the list that are made in a blender) are snacks that are pretty clearly tied to Basil. Why make these two items into two of the only completely miss-able items in the game? And it doesn't evade my notice that shortly before Humphrey, where you find these charms, you have the Branch Coral, who makes another connection to Basil using the romantic image of a string.

Finally, the wedding ring is tied to Basil in another way, and that is what's going on in the area that you find it. Obviously, there is a negative association between Headspace Basil and the cold/snow, but there's also the fact that the ascent up Snowglobe Mountain is reminiscent of the leadup to the Church of Something in general, with the stairs and the snow. And regarding the Snow Angels, aside from the religious connotations behind them, there is another neat association. Take a look:

this was pointed out by someone in a discord server that I am in, and I unfortunately do not remember who at this point. Let me know if you see this and want credit!

I would argue that this similarity was intentional, as an older version of the game had White Egret Orchids looking much different, though I can't find a beta picture of Basil's house at this exact moment. These Snow Angels serve much the same purpose as Stranger in this route: being embodiments of Sunny's guilt for abandoning Basil and refusing to take responsibility for his sins. This takes place on the final night before Sunny moves, the same night that the real Basil chooses to end his own life. These are his final thoughts following Sunny into his dreams (whether you take this as literal or figurative).

One last thought on Basil in the Omori route before moving on: the Basil Rush, and how it’s the most explicit the game ever gets about how Sunny imagines his Basil's closeness.

Like, oh my goodness. The TAG photos didn't even need to exist, but they were put in anyway! And a little detail that goes unnoticed a lot, is that the hand-holding TAG photo is one in which Omori has initiated it! I think part of the tragedy of the Omori route is that it is most player's second playthrough (if they ever play it at all) and it is when the idea of Sunny and Basil having romantic feelings for each other starts being implied way heavier than before. Congrats! You got some heavy romantic subtext between the two boys. One of them is dead in the real world because you didn't save him.

Moving on!

The Religious Connotations of Headspace Basil

You didn't want to go into it very heavily, but I will: among other things, Sunny's dreamworld has turned Headspace Basil into a Christ-like figure.

Of course, there is his position in the Church of Something, but that's not all. He constantly wears a Flower Crown (crown of thorns, anyone?). In fact, Omori has to give Basil the Flower Crown back in the very first Black Space area, the Watermelon Area, seemingly as a preface for what's going to be happening with Headspace Basil throughout that portion of the game.

Look at what he says during the hide and seek game:

There's also the fact that in the Sunny route, we are looking at a game that takes place over three days and three nights after Basil disappears from Headspace, which I'm sure I don't have to point out the significance of.

This is a connotation that Sunny is making himself. Basil did not choose to take on Sunny's sins in real life, he expected that they would always be together. It was Sunny that decided to throw the responsibility of both of their sins on Basil, by choosing to forget. Basil will literally die for Sunny's sins in the real world.

Which brings us to the Flower Crown that Basil gifts to Omori after being rescued. Whether Sunny knows it or not, Basil has decided to end his own suffering in the real world. By gifting the flower crown to Omori, Headspace Basil has symbolically indicated that the situation has been reversed. Basil is no longer suffering for Sunny's sins, but Sunny is about to start suffering for Basil's. We are told numerous times throughout the game that Headspace is on its last legs. It's running out of places to hide the truth. We see Black Space leaking through almost everywhere, and the Basil Rush ends in a direct reminder of the day of the incident.

All that is to say, Headspace is seemingly going to fail, and soon. Black Space has grown too strong. If you ask me, it's only a matter of time until news of the real Basil's death has reached Sunny in the real world, and that will be the tipping point. From there on, assuming Sunny even decides to go on after that point, he will be living with the same weight that Basil did for those four years after Sunny left him, and there won't be anyone to save him.

The Sunny Route and Sweetheart's Castle

Finally, you mentioned how the scene goes in the Sunny Route. It should be noted, right after Stranger merges with the version of Basil there is the first time in the entire game that a version of Basil in Sunny's head refers to Sunny exclusively as his best friend, and from that point on, we will see that repeated in Sunny's mind. The room that Omori and Basil fall into prior to Red Space is one that we will see during the truth sequence, but it also appears in the Omori route, in a manner that we should discuss, as it ties into what you said about Sweetheart's Castle being connected. After all, the room that Omori and Basil falls into is the same room that Sweetheart's Castle turns into once you accept the Keeper of the Castle's deal, as I noted in my post about Sweetheart's Castle previously.

Sweetheart herself represents Sunny; both in his quest for presenting a perfect version of himself and his broken understanding of love, both of others and himself. Spaceboy represents the more "Omori" part of him; someone claiming to be above his emotions, but ultimately ruled by them. He even changes his name while he is in a relationship with Sweetheart. From this interpretation, we can extrapolate that their wedding in the castle is a representation of the Omori route's ending, right down to ending up on Snowglobe Mountain.

I also want to point out what happens right after this. You don't immediately just jump on down to the Lost Library. You try to leave, but right before you exit the area, you get the cutscene showing Stranger on the stage, leading you into the hole, meaning you literally need to walk down the aisle of an area explicitly designed for a wedding to follow Stranger into the Lost Library.

Whether or not you interpret Sunny and Basil as having romantic feelings for each other, this seems very symbolic of the fact that accepting and following Stranger (who I have previously described as the individual in which Basil's love of Sunny resides, be it romantic or platonic) is how you get to the truth. It's as if Sweetheart and Spaceboy's wedding represented the ending of Black Space in the Omori route, while what happens right after represents the ending of Black Space in the Sunny route. And like most of the ways Sunny remembers aspects of his history, the library is tied to Basil. Where the real Basil would provide books for Sunny to read, Stranger leads him to an entire library filled with books depicting his memories, both good and bad.

I hope you found all this interesting! I haven't really gotten the chance to talk about these things before, since I haven't really found the motivation to talk about them in their own post before! I hope you have a wonderful day as well! Time to go back to packing for my flight tomorrow!

#omori #omori analysis #omori spoilers #omori basil #omori sunny #omori sunflower #sunnflower #sunflower omori #omori stranger #black space #church of something #sweetheart's castle #snowglobe mountain #snow angels #what's going on with headspace basil is so interesting and i could talk about it for ages

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didoldacc · 10 months

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penchant ● choi beomgyu

nsfw content, minors please do not interact!

warnings: manipulative themes and mental health problems, heavy emphasis on beomgyu's beauty, religious references(only used to describe beomgyu's beauty, reader doesn't have an established religion so don't worry), hurt/comfort, reader is also an idol, misogynistic themes, no one in the story is "good" but the villain is reader's group member, toxic relationships, mentions of su1c1d3 cheating, first lovers to exes to lovers, hurt comfort, breaking in, topic of drug addiction, possesive yandereish!beomgyu, soft and hard dom!beomgyu, sub!reader, marking, pet names, oral (both receiving), fingering, praise kink, dacryphilia, size kink, unprotected sex, breeding kink, degradation, dumbification, drowning kink, manhandling, multiple rounds, overstimulation, body worship(not just body worship tbh, reader worships beomgyu basically), choking, hair pulling, objectification, beomgyu takes advantage of reader's low point but great aftercare(finally a good thing), a really dumb solution for the conflict this is my very first full-length fic so i don't know how will this go, let me know if there is anything else i should add to warnings that i have missed. also don't forget to read the disclaimers at the end of the story.

qurbone ta hazole ta: "give up(my life for)/sacrifice(myself to) you, to beautiful you."

"they say when god created joseph, he wasted more than half of all humanity's beauty on him. yet here you are. even all of it wouldn't create another you."

an intense pain you feel on your chest. it really sucks that you have no one you trust to talk about what you are going through. but even if you did, you are not sure if you have the courage to tell the truth. so you just find a corner where you can silently cry. a place that no one knows except for him. you don't let yourself cry out even though it is exactly what you need so you just sit there in fetal position and put your head on your knees while tears just keeps shedding.

suddenly you hear footsteps coming towards the room you are in. you just wish it wasn't him. you don't want to face anyone, especially him. you don't have the courage to face him. you did nothing wrong to him yet he is the only person that you don't want them to find out. you feel guilty all over again and even though your mind wants to stop your tears shed even more and your sobs become audible.

and your fear comes true. you hear beomgyu's voice. you cannot comprehend what he is saying but it is not hard to assume why he is here. obviously he had to make a phone call. you try to wipe down your tears before he walks into room and check yourself if you look like you have been crying. and unfortunately for you definitely do. as soon as your hand goes to your purse to find something to clean your ruined make up, you hear the door opening.

he sees you and paniced expression covers his face. your ruined eye make up, your sclera turned red, your puffed face, your messy hair. it is impossible for anyone to not pity you in your state so it is not hard to imagine how pitiful you ex would be in this position.

he immediately hangs up his phone. from what you were able to heard, you assumed that the person on the phone with him was his new girlfriend. your lips move slightly upwards to the idea of him hanging up on his girlfriend for you yet you know better than thinking it meant something, of course he was going to hang up when he saw someone crying.

you pull yourself back when he starts to walk towards you. you don't know what to say or how to act. it is all awkward. one does not show their crying face to their ex boyfriends. you feel your heart racing, you can even hear it. and you find your back hitting the wall when he stops walking towards you.

surprisingly he doesn't say anything. he just comes closer and hugs you. his hands reach your hair and starts slowly patting your hair. while his grip on you thightens. you hear him humming a lullaby he knows you love to your ears. tears fall again from your eyes and sobs follow leaving your mouth. even his smell makes you feel safe. at home. you stay like that for almost an hour when he finally speaks. "so are you going to tell me what has been bothering you or you just want to stay like this?" you want to say yes but you decline his offer. you kept hearing his notification sound the whole time he was trying to calm you down. you know you should create new boundaries with him and also you don't want his act of the countenance ruin his new relationship. you just thank him and leave thinking he would let go.

the minute you leave the room, your phone's notification sound keeps ringing. messages you see yet don't open keep covering the upper side of your screen. you know it's from a certain member of your group. she spams your ktalk to say the same thing over and over again. at first you felt guilty and offered to help her deal with her problems. problems that you technically created. thoughts racing your mind. should you tell someone? your manager? your leader? the ceo? beomgyu?

yet you decide not to even though you know if they hear the story they would side with you or once you show them everything she texted.

you find yourself in front of your parents' house. you didn't even realize you were heading there when you wandered around. guess your consciousness chose here since seeing her would not be a great choice for you right now. luckily your parents were away for the next couple of days. you are not sure if them seeing you like this was a good idea.

you start a warm bath for yourself. maybe this could calm you down. dealing with her has become your full time job. heck even full time jobs had breaks, you didn't have that beautiful privilege.

as soon as your body connects with the bathtub, you hear someone opening the door. a fear -that soon fades when you see beomgyu- covers your whole body.

"beomgyu what are you doing here? how did you get in?" he doesn't bother to answer to your question. just stands there and stares at you. you were able to remain nonchalant yet you felt the urge to ask "why don't you just let go? we have broken up long time ago, i don't wanna be burden to you with my problems. it is not comfortable anymore." he just smirks and walks toward you before answering.

"you naive little thing, you never stoped being mine. and i don't like seeing what's mine get hurt by someone else." you feel a knot on your throat. the urge to cry is undeniable. what does he mean? still his? it's true that you are still single after your breakup with him even years later but at the end of the day you weren't his either.

"don't play dumb with me, princess. i know how obsessed you are with me, never really moving on... don't worry i find it cute." you know he is right. ever since the very first time your eyes had been blessed by his beauty, you only wanted to be his. for a while you were his and getting to know the real him didn't help your case of obsession with him. you started to love him more with everything you had learned, craving for even more. even him dumping you never changing anything.

when he sees your face expression turning calmer, he finally decides to answer the question you have asked when he first walked in. "i still remember the password to doorlock, that's how i got in. i am sorry for following you but i couldn't let my baby go like this." you give him a smile full of pain. "i really want to tell you everything. and i will. just let me get my head cleared first. maybe if you let me finish my bath, i will be on my right mind so i can tell the story without victimizing myself."

a sinister expression covers beomgyu's face, leaving you confused with the sudden change of atmosphere. "without me?" he simply says. he stares at your pupil growing bigger like a cat almost covering all of your iris that expresses your shock. "what about your girlfriend?" you manage to ask. "who cares? she knows she is a nobody i just choose to get my dick wet. i will just have to deal with dumping her but that can wait." you know that beomgyu is not particularly fan of the idea of one true love but you also know that he is not just a player. yet you choose to ignore the words coming out of his mouth confusing you more and accept his request. it is wrong but there is no moral compass for beomgyu's asks.

you miss his beautiful face, his beautiful body, his beautiful everything. so the voice in your head that keeps telling you that this is wrong stands no chance. god must have put all his energy while creating him. because there is no other logical explanation of why he is this beautiful. you watch him get naked. he takes his time, almost like he is teasing you. your eyes filled with admiration, you feel sick to your stomach. how can you even look at him after what you have done. sure, there is no way that he was harmed beacuse of the stupid desicions you made with your certain member yet you felt guilty.

as if he was reading your mind he starts talking again. "you were going to clear your mind, remember?" you nod while his now naked body positions himself right behind you. he made you lean your back on his chest while he starts to play with your hair. "so missed this, can't believe i was the one breaking up with you. but you'll forgive me, right? that's what my girl does." you only hum in agreement. though he doesn't need answers, he always gets what he wants when it comes to you.

his hands slowly start to play with you. light sensual touches againgst your soft skin. his hands move from your arms to your boobs giving them a gentle squeeze. the stimulation you feel on your nipples making you lean towards him even more. your new position allows him to give kisses on your forehead. "gyu~" you shamelessly start to moan his name with the really little play. he smiles and orders you to turn around. when you do he brings you to his lap before starting his abuse on your lips.

what starts as a gentle kiss filled with love turns into his way of devouring you. "gosh, you look so cute. i've missed this. i missed you." your face lights up with his words. you waste no time repeating his words of longing. his lips lifts up when he places his hand to your cheek. "you are so pretty. so pretty for me. only for me." you agree "only for you, beomie."

"want to make me happy?" he asks while grabbing your face. "anything, my god. anything for you." he can't help but get excited with the thing you called him. a god. that's what he is to you, right? his hands moving to your neck, his grip thightens around your neck then he sinks your body to water. "hold your breath as long as you can, baby. i wanna see you struggle. don't worry i will be careful that you don't get harmed. and if it's going to be too much just say no, i will understand. " yet you say nothing and with that he forces yor head under the water. the oxygen losing contact with your lungs. you body activates it's panic mode. you try to get out but his grip keeping you suffocated under the water, only thing you can do is just struggle just like he asked. he slowly stops and helps you to come back to surface. "did i hurt you?" you shake your head assuring him that everything is okay. "you did so good for me like a slut perfectly molded for me." you could feel his aroused state.

"maybe i should reward my precious doll. hmm, right?" you get excited with the news. after making sure you both are clean, he lifts you up and carries you bridal style. when he brings you to your room, you both can't help but feel nostalgic. vividly remembering every single time you both sneaked out during trainee days to have some fun here. exploring each other's bodies and your sexualities. beomgyu takes a pride for being the only one that did these things to you. and he is the only one who can. he made sure of it with planting ideas of everyone else being disgusting but him, only he can love you, everyone else is always after their own best interests, they do not care about you, he also scared away whoever men trying to get close to you and most important thing of them all he made himself your god. he was aware of his beauty and he made sure that it is the only thing in your mind, thinking about it nonstop. why did he break up with you in the first place? who knows but believe it he would lose it if someone else touches his property.

after gently placing to your bed, a trail of kisses on your body, especially focusing on the places he can leave marks to claim you once again and show the world you are taken. he goes back and forth between soft sensual kisses and anilmalistic lickerish kisses. once he is satisfied with all of his bite mars around your nect to thighs, he gives your lips a final kiss.

"will you be a dear and spread those legs for me?" you happily obey without any second thinking, leaving beomgyu pleased. his hands immediately travels to your aching core. "hmm, so wet~ ah this boosts my ego, seeing my angel turning into a slut for me. " he comments before thrusting his middle finger into you. "shit, even more thight than i remember. i bet-" he says while his thum starts to massage your clit. "i bet you can't even take my second finger. i don't think you will be able to take my cock, princess. how are you supposed to? look at you so small compared to me~" he says with a scoff. without a warning he adds his second finger and starts to do scizoring motions to get you ready for his size. but with a sudden change of heart, you feel his fingers leaving your hole and he gets up and sits between your legs. "how about my baby gets an orgasm she clearly missed while not being with me, hm?" before you say anything you feel his lips on your clit and his fingers rejoin the party in your cunny. while his fingers thrusting you with a fast and brutual pace, his mouth is way more gentler with your button. your poor finger playing with your clit wasn't enough to make you cum. you don't know why you never tried anything other than that but he is making it up to you with more experienced skills after your break up.

"beomgyu! a-ah too good, too good! ple- please don't stop." you keep repeating like it'sn invocation. feeling overwhelmingly good, it doesn't take too long for you to get close. "cum for me, hun" his voice vibrates on your core and with that your high reaches to you like waves. only being able to pant, you just lay there. beomgyu smiles and gives you compliments. telling you how good you did for him.

before you can regather your consciousness, he makes you sit on the corner of your bed and sits next to you. hands playing with your thighs. he leans towards your ear. "first return the favor and we are talking, okay? and after that i wanna have more fun with you, missed you so much." he whispers. you nod and get on your knees between his legs.

you start with kissing the tip. gosh it has been so long, what if you scupper it up? your hands hugging his member. you slowly start to push your head towards the length. when it reaches to back of your throat, you try your best not to gag. one hand goes to the places that you can't reach to stimulate there too while with your other hand, you play with his balls. trying so hard to be your best. not stoping your tounge swiling and your efforts to suck the soul out of him. apparently what you do is working cuz he turns into a whimpering mess. "that's it baby, just like that like a whore but only for me."

this only encourages you to go deeper making his body to fall back down. "can't believe you haven't done this in more than two years. you are s- so good~" you feel over the clouds with the compliments.

his breath gets heavier when he gets close. manages to say "shallow every- everything that i give you unless you want- ughmp a punishment." right before he relaeses his liquid for you.

laying right beside him, you give him a moment to rest while you try to think of what you are going to say. when he turns his head towars you, he expects you to speak but now you think maybe your problem wasn't that big. when you keep staying silent, he snaps. looking at you with an angry expression he just says "get out with it."

"should i just tell them all at once or-" he interrupts "doesn't matter as long as you get it out off your chest." you keep only looking at him for a little while before you say "it is dumb and i really don't wanna bother-" he interrupts again. "me? you really think it's gonna bother me? you know maybe the only one thing about is your stupid overthinking. i want you to tell. and i don't care if you are comfortable or not. i deserve to know. and if it was that stupid why were you crying like a toddler, hm?" he kisses your cheeks and hugs you. panting your back while giving your face sweet kisses.

"i started it, i thought i was the bad guy. but now i realize that even though i am not innocent, i am the victim, the one who got abused and manipulated." he breaks the connection to see your face. "can you elaborate, darling? who did what to you?" you blink your eyes when you feel them getting dry. beomgyu slightly chuckles to your silliness for forgetting to close your eyes for so long. "go on, i am listening. gosh my silly girl. even missed this."

"i- i don't know why i was doing that, now i find it extremely cringe but i had this similar thing to drug problem." a shocked expression covers his face with the unexpected news. "you did what?" you cringed at yourself even more. "i know it is so dumb but i needed something to cope, you know after we broke up." he smiles "i understand, i wasn't making fun of it or judging. i was just surprised. it is just so unexpected from you. you are scared of authority and public opinion first of all and this thing also hurts people around you and that's where you draw the line. it all is okay though. this doesn't make you a bad person." say says reassuring you.

"yes but i might kinda have shown that little habbit to one of my members and they might have also started it because of me. but i swear i warned her and told her to stop constantly. and i didn't even show or suggest her that. she just saw me doing it one day and she also started to have an addiction it consumed her as a whole. she stopped doing anything productive and always talked about it even when she was not gambling. and i felt guilty." he looks at you with a warm expression this time. "i am starting to see why this is stressing you out that much. and you are talking about 'nincompoop' i am assuming. she was always problematic and a stupid loser. why can't she decide for herself in her age? i don't see the problem here, you are not responsible for an adult who is capable of making her own desicions. "

"i still haven't told you everything..." you stop "okay baby, i was just trying to be responsive. go on, tell me everything, i am listening." you continue "well, later i realized my guilt was unnecessary. i am not victimizing myself, don't get me wrong but she pushed me more into that rabbit hole. you know i am kind of naive-" he interrupts again "not kind of, you are." you speak up. "GYU!" he giggles "i am not calling you dumb, though i can easily get you there with my touch~ you are just too trusting and do not question people around you that much." this time you say nothing, enjoying his teasing but you decide to continue yet again. "since i am KIND OF naive, i started to become the one who is influenced badly rather than being the bad influence. i was rather a casual than an addict. but she was definitely. she then got caught by our manneger. he let it go and told he is not going to tell the ceo. she felt afraid. she was so scared. i felt guilty and promised i will help. she had nothing to be afraid of but you know scared people, they lose it. i suggested her getting help and told her i also will get it even though i have stopped doing it more than a yeand and a half. she stopped cuz she was scared but refused to get help or to do anything to get better."

his hands holding yours, he decide to tease you yet again. "i am guessing the real story starts after this." he feels kinda shocked when you nod. "you know she can easily tell the public, i was the bad influence. and i can't even deny it when she does. she is not stable. i am not making her mental health problems the villain but she never has the good intentions, only wants attention of others even if it's negative. she can easily ruin me, my career. not just me but also the other members. even one can argue that i deserved it and had it coming, you can't tell the same thing about the other girls. they did nothing wrong."

"she was scared that police will find her and she will be put in jail. i told her it has been months. they don't have an evidence even, they can't but instead of listening to me, she found other people's stories online that was not even similar to hers. i kept telling her stop looking at those news or fake stories, she only hurts herself. then i decided to pay an actor for a small role. she was my friend and she accepted it. so i told nincompoop that i had a friend that went through the same thing and her stiation was in a small city, a white lie in my opinion. my friend did everything i asked her to. i know this is way fucked up but i really had the best interest of her. i mean maybe not cause i was getting tired of her clinging on me and constant whining. i wanted to help, really, but she was just... i know she has problems. i am an awful person for instead of understanding her problems, i hate her for them. it is just too much sometimes." you are surprised that he just listened without interrupting even once. you two stay slient for a few minutes before he gathers his thoughts and speaks. "you are not awful. from what i see you tried to help but she started to see you as her therapist. am i right?" you nod then shake your head. honestly you aren't sure what happened between you two. it all feels like a fewer dream.

"i mean maybe you are right or maybe i am not as understanding as i thought i was." he clears his throat. "i think you do way above bare minimum. i really don't trust this girl. wasn't she lying about her mom abusing her, just because her disabled sister got attention while she did not?" you try to defend her. "all people seek attention, gyu. yes her lying was not good but no one got hurt, right? we all are desperate for attention because we all are social creatures so why is she the bad guy?" beomgyu sighs in disbelief. "why are you defending her? no one getting hurt and attention seeking being in human nature doesn't make what she did less wrong but also didn't she hurt you? is that also in human nature?" you get upset with the way he raised his voice at you. seeing your reaction, beomgyu spoke. "i am sorry for raising my voice. it is just you are so naive and i don't like seeing getting hurt, okay? now continue please."

"before i continue, i really need to ask you something. am i a real life bojack horseman for hiring an actor-friend to get what i want." he bursts into laughs when he hears your question. but when he realizes that you aren't joking, he simply says. "no. no, you are not." you giggle and then put your head on his chest.

"gyu, maybe my brain plays games with me but after that she got even worse as if she knew what was i up to. she kept sending me messages of how she was so afraid that police will arrest her and the stories from the internet she read became the only thing she talked about. i said something. it was not a big deal or maybe it was but i said that her trusting her paranoia and the random people on the internet more than me made me hurt and i got offended. i said that just trust me and my friend that went through the same thing. i called some lawyer friends and they said she was totally safe. i wasn't making anything up. i even called a police relative and asked if she is safe and he said yes as long as there is no evidence. and since there is no evidence she was safe. but instead of listening to reason she said and i quote 'i am saying that i am going to k1ll myself and you are making this about you. you are so selfish.' that was never my intention nor the thing i said. but her saying that made me feel selfish. i really don't have any moral compass but if i had one being selfish would be the equivalent of being bad so i felt awful, like i am the worst person ever. i was the one who abused my prescriptions pills which caused her to become a drug addict. i blamed myself but then she confessed that she even took part in drug dealing. i cannot be responsible for that, right? because i never did anything like that even the thing i did i warned her again and again and again. i kept offering professional help even before and after her getting caught. i did my best but she made me feel bad about myself and kept saying 'don't leave me. if you leave, i will end it.' she wanted my constant attention and i am just too tired, gyu." you speak this time without letting him respond until you finished.

he pushes your head up so that he can look into your eyes. "let's just softly ghost her or make her stop talking to you herself. she can't tell anyone you misusing your pills without revealing her substance abuse." you give him a confused look. "how am i supposed to ghost her or never talk to her. we live together, we are in the same band. how will it even work?" beomgyu doesn't respond but instead makes you sit while he keeps his back placed on your bed. though you don't quite get the reasoning behind this, you still want him to play with you as he promised.

he looks ethereal, you think to yourself. how can someone be this beautiful? that moment pushes you to show beomgyu how you worship him. you start with giving him the most passionate kiss he ever had. yor lips longing for his lips for years couldn't care less whose these lips supposed to kiss. you pity the girl yet you do not leave his lips even for a second like a hungry animal.

your kiss trails his whole body. giving every single corner attention they need and complimenting them throughout the way. your soft hands holding his as if they are afraid of losing it again. you don't care about beomgyu's stupid words about people outgrowing each other thing when he dumped you. you two are meant to be yet this thought originally belonged to beomgyu. in his own way, he did this to protect you but clearly he was wrong. what a mess you became after him. it is impossible to not pity you. he doesn't pity you though, he just wants to end your pain while as a giveaway he also gets what he wants.

you proudly look the evidence of kisses you gave filled with desire and little hickeys you covered his stomach with. you trace his bottom half when he stops you. with an easy move he flips you over pressing your body to mattress. his hands holding your arms around your head as if you would escape him if he leaves them. "small little thing~ look how you basically dissappear under me, so cute but it makes me wanna ruin you more, baby. will you let me?" beomgyu's words practically having an incantation effect, you scream your affirmation to him.

his lips immediately attacking yours for a fight for dominance which he obviously is going to win. the taste of his cum being felt by him when you invite his tongue to your mouth. giving him sounds of pleasure and him dueting you sounds, you both feel like you are in heaven.

"such a pretty doll for me to devour~ i bet you would make a great free use fucktoy or a pretty obedient housewife. gosh maybe i should make you one of those." beomgyu says while his right hand trailing down towards your aching pussy. he positions his right hand still taking control over yours.

his two digits playing with your hole with 'come here' and scizoring motions to get you ready, he adds the third one to the party causing a gasp from you. once he feels like you are ready enough to take him, he immediately thrusts into you. he doesn't wait for you to adjust his size. it of course causes some pain following your tears to fall. him only getting more aroused with your tears, his thrusting fastens and gets harder which you don't complain. too lost in the pleasure even with the pain.

it doesn't take you to cum around his dick since beomgyu still remembers your sweet spots to push his member towards to yet it doesn't stop his abuse. his hands moving towards your neck. he gives to much pressure causing you to fight for your breath. "i am not finished, better take it." he says while your body getting close to second orgasm. "cum for me again with me! show me how much you've missed me!" he orders just before you two cum together. his hands leaving your neck to your waist. with an easy move beomgyu manhandles you again on your all fours.

his cock never stopping being hard, he continues his abuse on your poor cunt. overstimulating it making you cockdrunk. beomgyu pulls your hair causing you to moan even louder. he places his other hand on your ass to have a better grip on himself. at this point the only thing you can say is his name while he fucks his cum back into you. enjoying how dumb you got around him, his thrusts fastens. "such a dumb slut. all mine. all mine. all mine. all mine. mine to touch. mine to breed. ugh you can't even respond. you love my cock that much? you can't think of anything but me~" you only being able to understand a little fraction of what he said, you feel the familiar pain building up on your stomach again when he says he is close. you cum around his cock for the third time just before he fills you up again.

he throws himself to your side and brings your back to his chest, spooning you. playing with your hair and giving you compliments not only about the sex you guys had but also your beauty and how angelic you are. he brings you water and makes sure you use the bathroom. he washes your body again. he orders you food you both like. he opens your comfort movie when food arrives. enjoying both the meal and the movie. you two take a nap and when you wake up, seeing him right beside you makes you feel like you are in heaven.

"we should finish our talk." he says leaving you confused. not waiting for a response from you, he says "would you give up everything for me? be my housewife. don't worry i will take care of you and our children." you only get more confused with his words but you nod. what did these have to do with the stiation? he continued. "you will not take the next day pills and you will have my baby. i will marry you. we could be a family and you get your happy ending away from her. since we can't expose her, we can get you away from her." you respond with a "that's dumb but it could also ruin your career. i don't want that. you deserve all the good things, gyu." but he is determined to get what he wants. "then when you get pregnant, we can marry in secret and the company will retire you due to a 'health related complication' i know these all sound dumb but i want you to be mine and mine only. give up everything, run away from your problems even if that's dumb, be with me, start a family with me." you know it all lacks logic but you agree. at the end of the day what would make you two happy is the logical desicion, right?

he smiles when he gets what he wants. he should have found a way to make it sooner but an opportunity came when his lovesick mind was about to go crazy. was he wrong when taking it? beomgyu is never wrong when it comes to you. ready to accept every part of beomgyu.

disclaimer: this work is of course not written with the intention to show real beomgyu, it is just fanfiction. english is not my first language although i can say i am pretty advanced this work contains ambiguity and incomprehensibility. addition to that some tense clashes. also i know drug is big taboo in korea and also i am not trying to make addicts look bad. if it looked like this, i can edit the story to make it less problematic. i hope you guys don't find it dumb. i originally planned the same conflict with shoplifting or gambling but they sounded cringe...

please do not copy or repost or translate my work. i will put this warning just in case. it is stealing in literal meaning. so please just don't.

i hope you guys enjoyed it~

it is my first full-length fanfic so writing might not be that good so i am apologizing for that. also changed the more darker tone this fic originally had cuz it was all edge no point. but i would really like feedbacks. and i appreciate every single reblog. have a good day! love you all!

taglist: @bomudreamgrl

special thanks to: @/kaespas (cuz if not for her i would have delete most of this fic)

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guhmshuda · 3 months

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DESI JAMES POTTER HEADCANON

Disclaimer: this is not era-typical. this is strictly subjective, this is my way of projecting my delusions and hoping I meet someone like James Potter some day!!

James craves parental and academic validation.

Now before I get jumped, lets all be real for one second. You are telling me James Potter is a desi first gen NRI and he does not crave validation? I refuse to believe that!! And it was not that Effie and Monty pressurized him... it was the opposite actually. they did not say a thing and my boy just felt he had to be the best because he has such nice parents who never ask for anything how can he ever live up to it??

He was the kind to lose sleep before important days. Right before the big matches and papers you would find James F. Potter roaming the halls of the school in the wee hours of morning, hands tightly clutching onto a mug that says, "You are ENOUGH" (his parents gifted him this in 3rd year when they noticed he was not doing well). The mug is obviously filled to the brim with either masala chai or cold coffee (the indian one).

2. He smelled like cloves

now this is something I have observed in my day to day life and feel like James too, would partake in. He would be the kind to use "spicy" toothpaste. simply because he thinks they last longer or smth. Effie also makes him homemade oil that has cloves (idk what they do I just associate the spice with him OKAY?) So basically when his partner(s) kiss him, they taste and smell clove. And it is not a comforting spice like cinnamon but imagine a whitewashed Regulus getting used to the sting of cloves and the horrible dant kanti-esque taste because the boyfriend uses them. There is a point when Regulus just starts carrying around a small bottle of clove oil or a box of clove and elaichi daana because James smells like cloves and Sirius like cardamom (FIGHT ME.)

3. Resident Problem Solver

Was he mischievous? Hell yes. Did he still make efforts to make sure everyone was okay? Duh.

James would be the kind to ask everyone about their day at the dinner table and be actually interested in what they have to say. He would notice when one of his friends were having a hard day and just drop a ladoo on their plate or ask them if they would like "non-spicy" chai. He would be the peacemaker. ALWAYS. He DID not like conflict. It hurt his soul to watch his friends fight or give each other a cold shoulder.

4. He LOVED being Desi.

he had the diaspora issue, obviously. But Effie and Monty came from the pre-partition India and tried to hold onto their country as much as they could. So James was super used to all the desi things. He had a head full of thick luscious curls because his mother massaged oil and gave him champi every week. When he moved to Hogwarts his hair suffered a little before the Summer when Sirius visited the Potters. Effie taught both of them how to apply oil onto each other's scalps and then it became their tradition at Hogwarts.

5. When Sirius returned bald.

there is a very popular HC that one year Walburga shaved Sirius' hair off because he was being disrespectful or smth. That year, James developed a variant of Indulekha x Parachute Coconut Oil (come on Desis i know you know what I mean) and made sure Sirius had his long hair back before Christmas. He would personally look after his diet, forcing amla tea down his throat or making sure he is eating 3-4 meals that consist of healthy things and not just meat as Sirius would otherwise have it.

Regulus fell in love with James around this time because he did smth he could not, protect Sirius. He went as far as daring Walburga to try to do it again, James would make sure Sirius grows his hair longer than ever.

ps. he was the one who came up with curl-care routine for the marauders and all of them had PJO cast like hair it was so cute jadfiqgfuiwgiuu okay

6. He did not practice any religion

James was not religious, he was spiritual. He did whatever his mum, who herself practiced two religions, told him to do. Both Effie and Monty believed in giving back to the society more than giving to some religious institute, so imagine a first year James rushing into Poppy's wing with an injured bird in his hand begging her to save it.

7. He was the people's princess.

fight the wall. everyone, even the slytherins, secretly LOVED him and the gulab jamuns he would give out on Diwali every year.

8. Enjoyer of classical music.

I have said it before, I will say it again. MY MANZ LISTENED TO GHULAM ALI. idc if he was muggle or what, he loved his music, language be damned.

he enjoyed urdu ghazals more than anything else tbh.

9. TRAINED CLASSICAL MUSICIAN

he was trained in sitar and he could sing as well. he was basically an in house singer. He learnt electric guitar in his 2nd year and then there was no looking back. If he would not have been a professional quidditch player he would have been a musician or a music teacher or smth.

10. he was a STEM student.

okay this is non-canon but comp sci major James? who also happens to enjoy botany? yes. just the best.

11. James who would slip into Urdu when he was overwhelmed, who loved when people played with his hair. James who wrote letters in Urdu or Hindi or whatever regional language his parents spoke and wrote.

12. James potter who hated how his eyes were brown, just brown, growing up. but then one day his mother told him it is what she loves the best about him.

13. James Potter with bitten lips, he does that whenever he is nervous.

14. James Potter who was born during sunrise, his mother believes he is the sun.

15. James who would lay his life for his friends. James who loved hugging Peter, James who committed crimes for Remus.

16. James who adored and admired Minerva so much that he would try everything to get her attention, except he was her favourite student after Lily and Remus (Sirius was her son, let us all be honest).

17. James who played Carnatic Music while studying.

18. James who would wear short kurtas. james who is obsessed with shawls.

19. James who carried a bag full of supplies his friends might need. Like imagine a pouch filled with hair elastics for Sirius and the girls, painkillers for Remus, fidget toys and stress ball for Peter, and cloves for Regulus.

20. James WHO FOUGHT THE AUTHORITY!!!

-- I WILL ADD MORE DW LET ME THINK--

ADD YOURS TOO BTW COME ON HELP A DEMIGIRL OUT

#desiblr #desi stuff #desi tumblr #marauders #james potter #the marauders era #dead gay wizards #desi james is my love #desi james #desi james potter #james x regulus #james and sirius #jegulus #baby james potter

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hiwelcometothemonstersancturary · 1 month

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LOL I hope Dogday and Catnap end up together after all the typical romantic comedy shenanigans!

How did Dogday get feelings for Catnap? I bet it was hard once Catnap went off the deep end…but did he ever feel the same about him before? I imagine they were both at least pretty good friends at one point…

Dogday and Catnap were close since before they were turned into toys. I think kid Dogday (Im considering naming him Oskar) would protect Theo from bullies, and was worried sick when he just dissapeared one day. When they turned into toys, both Dogday and Catnap continued to be sort of close to each other. Catnap was isolated from the other Smiling Critters, and it was Dogday who would drag him to interact with everyone! I think this is when the mutual crush first started. Dogday saw a kind-hearted and shy friend who genuinely wanted to connect with others, while Catnap saw a ray of sunshine dragging him out of his misery corner in order to have him make friends with others.

For Dogday, Catnap was just everything he needed during that time: Someone who listens and is kind, not demanding much from him, much less getting mad at him for not doing things right. Catnap helped calm him down, and Dogday, touch and attention-starved, just caught himself suddenly developing an innocent crush on his best friend.

However, after the Hour of Joy, Catnap spent some time hiding with the Prototype as he taught him how to hunt. When he came back to the Playcare, he had changed. Hardened. He wasnt little Theo anymore, just like how Catnap wasnt little Oskar anymore. One became a hunter, the other, a leader. They clashed many times with Catnap wanting to go after other toys and the Smiling Critters not wanting to kill for their own survival. And when Catnap's religion became bigger than his own logic and morality, the two fell apart.

Below the cut are my thoughts on how their relationship went during the decade and after Angel rescued them!

Catnap did attack some of the Smiling Critters and he did tore off some of their limbs to feed the mini critters and himself. It was either that or starve, at least in his POV. Him crucifying Dogday consisted of him almost begging poor Oskar to quit with his morality and join him and Prototype. He wanted Dogday to listen, and he wanted to be together with his best friend, but tearing someone's stomach and legs off isnt the way to make them listen to you talk about how the guy who put everyone into this mess is the one and only true savior and god.

After Angel arrives at Playcare and saves not only Dogday but Miss Delight and even some of the mini critters, Catnap's world view start to shift, esp with how Angel treats him. "What happened to you?" is one of the first things they say to him, and Catnap, lonely and away from his dad/god and any company asides from the mini critters, just inevitably ends up getting attached to who he now sees as a messiah. This only gets worse after Angel saves Catnap's life.

Dogday... Oh, my poor baby. He DESPERATELY wanted Catnap to quit with the Prototype bullshit and just listen to him. They can hunt others, yes, but they shouldn't be cruel about it. They can confront the Prototype about putting them into this situation, they can leave Playtime Co, they can do anything, but please please please just LISTEN to him and STOP TALKING ABOUT THE PROTOTYPE AS IF HE'S A GOD. Dogday is ready to kill Catnap if necessary during Angel's time at Playcare, mind you, he just doesn't want to do that. And when Catnap is saved, guess who helps Angel treat his wounds? Yup, it's our big puppy.

Dogday feels guilt from letting his friends die, and feels anger at Catnap for helping with their deaths and for crucifying him. He wants Catnap to do better, but he feels like he lost him and will never get him back. And his happiness at seeing Catnap helping Angel is only for a moment, as he realizes Catnap just changed his god for Angel to fit the label.

After they confront Prototype and they leave the factory for good, they're both kind of lost. Catnap deep down knows neither Angel nor Prototype are gods, but what else are they for being able to survive such circumstances? And for Dogday, what else is there in the outside world, now that he feels more alone than ever before because his mind isn't busy with surviving anymore?

And then, BAM, every single Smiling Critter was actually alive. They're both shocked but happy at this, and begin to rekindle their relationship as they both agree that they're the only ones who can actually protect both their old friends and the newfound family they have. Their relationship at this point is two traumatized young adults trying to protect what they have of hope, still getting out of the survival instincts and way of life. They bicker a LOOOOT, but since day 1 from escaping they have sometimes slept next to each other because that's the only way they can fall asleep. They have so many conflicts but they are so much about each other in a way only they can truly understand (and also us but we don't count because we're just readers and players lmao).

With enough weeks passing by, and with enough long nights of these two being close and even playing with each other because they missed the other so much, they start talking. Untangling the mess. Catnap did apologize to Dogday when they were still inside Playtime Co, ofc, and he and Dogday had a moment when they saw the Sun for the first time since they were young children, but two conversations aren't enough to fix +5 years of hurt.

I think the mutual crush smacks them both in the head at the same time during the, like, third month of living with Angel. Sillies gotta be silly right?

#daynap #poppy playtime #poppy worldwide #save everyone au #dogday #catnap #ask tag #i wasnt expecting this to get THIS big lmao #gotta work on some things now but soon enough i shall infodump about these two telenovela-level worthy of romance drama and stupidity #(affectionate)

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yanderes-galore · 23 days

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May I ask for Platonic Yandere headcanons for Zenyatta and Ramattra (Their names are so fucking hard to write) with a reader who is also an Omnic?

I think I have a little idea I can talk about for this :) Ramattra is the main yandere in this since Zenyatta is a bit too tame.

Yandere! Platonic! Zenyatta + Ramattra with Omnic! Darling

(Shambali Monk Era Idea)

Pairing: Platonic - Sharing -> Rivalry

Possible Trigger Warnings: Gender-Neutral Darling, Obsession, Manipulation, Overprotective behavior, The sharing is implied to became a rivalry near the end, Some angst, Religious themes, Jealousy, Possessive behavior, Not really TOO yandere but that's because Zenyatta is so tame, Forced companionship.

The one thing that comes to mind is when Zenyatta and Ramattra were both monks.

Perhaps you were also a monk, sharing camaraderie in your beliefs.

You were all Shambali monks for years, which causes the two to grow close to you.

Zenyatta was much more peaceful and tranquil while Ramattra often harbored resentment and discord.

The two acted like brothers to one another, although they see you in a similar light.

As a fellow Omnic monk... the two naturally feel bonded to you.

You're bonded by the same religion and similar beliefs.

All of your conversations are usually with the two, whatever they may be about.

I imagine at first they're fine with sharing.

Zenyatta has always been one to share his obsession... but Ramattra leans more on the possessive side.

Zenyatta often speaks to you about accepting others, no matter what they may think.

He wants you to accept humans as equals, despite you clearly being different from them.

Meanwhile Ramattra shares a different sentiment, often blaming humans for the issues with Omnic kind.

You do not blame his fire... but you also think on Zenyatta's thoughts too.

You care for the two... like siblings.

They are your brothers... you adore them and learn from them.

The two, mostly Ramattra, get jealous when you speak with those outside the temple.

Zenyatta is naturally more accepting, allowing you to communicate with humans and Omnics alike as you speak to others about your teachings.

Ramattra is more cautious, often showing disdain when he sees you speak with humans and compliant Omnics.

Why don't you understand that speaking with humans will hurt you?

The two are naturally protective of you.

It's just that one of them is more understanding of the other.

Affection is primarily verbal, you know they care for you by their words and some tasks they do for you.

You worship with them... then things fall apart.

Once the assassination of Mondatta occurs, a rift forms between you three.

Ramattra's hate towards humans boils over, plans for Null Sector brew in his mind.

Zenyatta tries to dissuade Ramattra's thoughts... while Ramattra tries to convince you to support him.

Your bond is torn... but both Omnics don't wish to let you go.

You begin to isolate yourself from your brethren, not daring to speak with them.

When Ramattra makes the decision to leave the Monastery, he comes to you to try and recruit you.

Surely you see that humans are the enemy now... do you not?

Their sharing would become a rivalry due to Ramattra's differing beliefs.

Zenyatta has already refused him, he at least wants you to support him.

But Zenyatta... eager not to have you leave him, urges you not to accept.

This rift brews their rivalry... both Omnics willing to do anything to keep their beloved companion.

Ramattra will drag you to Null Sector if he has to... mingling with humans will only cause pain.

Zenyatta isn't violent, but he will do whatever it takes to keep you as part of the Monastery.

If he doesn't... Ramattra will take you on a dark path of discord.

The question is... what side will you take?

A path of tranquility with Zenyatta...

Or a path of discord with Ramattra?

Regardless of your path... one of the two won't let the other have you completely.

You fear the bloodshed that will follow when Null Sector grows in power.

You wonder if you could've prevented this... you couldn't.

You don't want to be caught between them in a war for your affections.

But with Ramattra's feelings... such a thing could never happen.

Sometimes you think about the time you shared with them long before...

If you could... you'd weep.

#yandere overwatch #yandere zenyatta #yandere ramattra #platonic yandere

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woozapooza · 4 months

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ridiculously long Sopranos post I swear I tried to keep it concise but this is as short as it's going to get

One pattern among Sopranos viewers that I find baffling is the veneration of Dr. Krakower, the therapist in “Second Opinion” who tells Carmela flat-out that she’s obligated to leave Tony and refuses to take her “blood money.” I’ve seen him described as one of the only truly moral characters in the whole show, if not the only one. I agree that his integrity is truly admirable, but I think a lot of viewers overstate the value of that integrity. Granted, this is partly just me being the biggest Melfi apologist imaginable (I’ll get to that in a second), but I also think that I have an objectively valid point to make. One of the biggest themes of The Sopranos is how difficult it is to make a substantive change in one’s life, and that’s partly a matter of human frailty, but it’s also a matter of circumstances and environment. The Sopranos understands that, for most people, willpower will only take them so far because people don’t exist in isolation. To take an example from the last episode I watched (6x17, “Walk Like a Man”), Christopher has been trying so, so hard to stay sober, but he ends up getting drunk and murdering a guy, and while that is ultimately on him, it might never have happened if he hadn’t endured years of mockery from the very people who insisted that he get sober in the first place. It’s this interconnectedness, this imbrication of people, that makes morality so complicated—and so insufficient. Virtue and vice are unfortunately never the only factors at play in human behavior.

Bringing this back to Krakower: his integrity is undeniably admirable, but what good does it do? Carmela doesn’t take his advice! I saw a YouTube comment that said that the best thing Dr. Melfi ever did for the Soprano family was to refer Carmela to Krakower, but how can that be, when the net impact of that referral was nothing at all? Is throwing moral clarity at a morally murky situation really the objectively right thing to do, when it’s so unlikely to accomplish anything material? Not to mention Carmela's religion teaches her that she’s obligated to stay in this marriage, which is an absurd belief IMO, but it is her belief nonetheless. Of course he’s not going to get through to her if he doesn’t meet her where she’s at. I’m not saying integrity doesn’t matter. I’m just saying that in Sopranos World, as in the real world, you don’t have a good/bad effect on the world just by having good/bad morals. I think it’s best to have one foot firmly planted in morality while also being willing to engage with immorality, but even that approach to life isn’t guaranteed to do good, because sometimes, no matter how hard you try, it’s out of your hands. The world is just too complicated.

One of countless things I love about Melfi is that she’s one of the few characters who I see making a fairly consistent effort to walk the line between principles and pragmatism. Obviously she makes mistakes, she’s as human as the rest of them, but damn it, at least she’s trying! I think a lot of viewers don’t give her enough credit for that. If Krakower deserves credit for his moral intransigence (and he does!), surely Melfi deserves credit for trying to strike an effective balance. I just don’t understand how viewers of this show, which takes such a realistic look at the limits of how far an innate sense of right and wrong can take you, can see one therapist who tells his patient that she has to do something she’s almost guaranteed not to do because it would be enormously difficult both psychologically and logistically (he tells her to “take the children” and go—how’s that supposed to work? They’re not toddlers who she can just scoop up and carry away!) and then sends her away, and one therapist who tries to build a relationship with her patient through which they could theoretically work together on shaping him into a more functional person, and declare that the former is doing it right and the latter is doing it wrong. Sure, her strategy ultimately fails, but so does his, and I think hers was a lot more pragmatic! It would have worked with a patient who was more willing to try. Like me, for example. I would be the best patient she ever had and I would never let her down and she would be so proud of me.

Okay, I had written some additional paragraphs switching gears and focusing on Melfi’s approach to treating Tony and explaining some of the reasons that I will always stan her, but this post is so long already I think I’m going to end it here. Sometime soon I’ll make a separate post with the Melfi paragraphs. She deserves her own post anyway. Have I mentioned that I love her? Have I ever mentioned that???

#The Sopranos #x #thank you if you read all 800+ words of this I simply could not make it any shorter #Anna watches tv #Anna watches The Sopranos #analysis #I have many thoughts

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renardtrickster · 3 months

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My last post going over my thoughts on Hazbin Hotel ended at episode 4. 8 episodes later, in honor of the season ending and also Symmetry, the rest.

It's a lot longer, so I'm ditching the bullet points and putting it under a readmore.

My largest and foremost gripe with the series as a whole (and this extends to Helluva Boss as well) is that the female cast feels weirdly underdeveloped. They're not poorly written per se, Charlie is likeable and well-realized even if she's been mostly static (vanilla protagonist?), and Vaggie did get some interesting folds when her being a former angel was revealed (I didn't know this was a fan theory btw), but Niffty's been mostly a joke, and all the same they're blown out of the water compared to the amount of screentime and focus devoted to guys like Angel Dust, Alastor, Vox, and even Husk perhaps. The good thing is that this is one of those issues where you don't have to "go back" and fix anything, you just have to give them more of a spotlight in future episodes. Which I hope they do.

I think even Christians would agree that Lucifer was always the most interesting character in the Bible, and I was excited for the show's take on him. There are shades of "Lucifer as an embodiment of freedom in contrast to God's order" which is a pretty standard read on his character, but the big thing they seemed to stress was his characteristics as a dreamer and an artist, which is pretty fresh. So introducing him stuck in a creative rut and essentially poo-pooing Charlie's dreams for the hotel is a good indicator that something's deeply wrong. It turns out that Hell is a pretty hopeless environment to be in, and his disinterest in the Hotel or helping Charlie make it succeed was because he's now riding the philosophy of "if you never chase your dreams you never get hurt when they fail", which is just depressing to hear. I have thoughts on the show's depiction and philosophy on Hell, but I'll group it with my thoughts on Heaven two paragraphs from now. Also his design fucks, I like the snake-apple-crown around his top hat, I didn't even notice his torso is meant to look like an apple core until someone else pointed it out, we stan a short king, etc. etc.

I found Heaven to be pretty interesting. I was expecting most of the angels to look more or less the same as each other, but the variety in display (some are furries, some are dudes, some are polygonal creatures) was more interesting, in addition to making me think "wow the fact that they draw from the same design pool in hell is interesting", to which my main man @arcane-nrok posited that it's because the people in Heaven and Hell are not fundamentally different from each other, where they end up depends solely on their environment and upbringing. Then Adam said nobody drinks because "there are no hard days in Heaven" and we both began pogging out of our minds.

The biggest bombshell when it comes to discussing Heaven or Hell is that despite our antagonists literally being the forces of Heaven, God has never been mentioned even once. Because of this, I have to disagree with the people claiming that Hazbin Hotel is some screed against Christianity (even though as an anti-theist, I wouldn't object if it were), and I definitely don't think it's a "fuck you mom" immature one either. It reads to me as more of a rebuttal and criticism of Christians and Christian morality than the actual religion itself. I mentioned the implications of class inequality before, that Adam more or less implies that if you have an easy life, you'll more easily find Heaven, and that if you have a harder life, you'll more easily find Hell. And while I know a lot of Christians were offended by the fact that the Angels don't seem to like the sinners and also don't seem to give much of a shit about the concept of redemption either, this reading makes sense if you imagine them not as Angels but as humans, interpreting doctrine in whatever way benefits them at the expense of others. Allegorically, Adam is the "christian who has never read the bible" who flaunts basically every rule but is de facto understood to be a "good christian" and so his behavior gets a pass as he and everyone else focuses on the shortcomings of everyone else, Lute is so ideologically locked into eating from her trash can that she's essentially been turned into a weapon focused on denouncing and punishing the unworthy, Sera is empathetic and aware of the internal incoherency and cruelties of the system he upholds but is locked into it to such an extent that she has to justify, compartmentalize, or ignore those glaring issues, and Emily is the same, except young enough that the indoctrination isn't as strong, and without the "tenure" such that she's most likely at risk to be excommunicated for her concerns. And on Hell, the great philosophical evil present over anything else is that while there may be some truly despicable people in there, the possibility of redemption must remain, to such an extent that it's positioned as an almost universal right and that the denial of it is an almost cosmic injustice (which in terms of theology and critical reading of the bible is almost as old as, the bible). Not only is the denial of redemption a tool used by the Angels to justify the existence of the system as it is (the argument of "they had their chance to get into heaven, it's too late now" is said by Adam at least twice and by at least five different sinners), but the sheer bleakness of it was enough to temporarily drain all the joy and hope from creation's first artist and dreamer. In short, the nightmare that Hazbin Hotel conjures isn't that God is cruel or unjust, but that he's been dethroned by his most fundamentalist followers.

Also Vaggie got kicked out of Heaven for refusing to kill a child, so I actually I take it back this show is extremely biblically accurate.

To suddenly jerk away from theology, philosophy, and societal critique and back to "here's my cartoon criticism", the pacing. I still maintain that if you blame anybody but the jokers who gave them eight episodes to work with, I'm going to fuck your wife, but I feel like it's been as much of a good thing as a bad thing??? The good news is that the plot is advancing constantly (as opposed to Helluva Boss which can feel dawdling and aimless), and the brisk pace means we don't have to "dwell" on things that make me groan when other shows dwell on them. Sir Pentious' introduction to the hotel, for example, could have devoted more time to the "Angel Dust feels that Pentious is a sussy amongus and also maybe a bit inadequate because the snake is an immediately better guest than him" element, or could have had Sir Pentious run away after getting caught, the attempt at redemption being a fib until he comes back a second time and stays for real. But they didn't in either case, and I feel like the episode was better for it (I was pleasantly shocked when he signed on for real). The bad news is, there's no room to breathe, meaning that everything necessarily must reach the high stakes being set by the rest of the plot, and we can't devote more time to the quieter, slower moments without making them take up the episode (as in episode 4, not that I thought that sequence was bad). Episode 7 is the embodiment of this dual nature, I think. Charlie felt hurt by Vaggie keeping secret the fact that she used to be an Exterminator, and while she felt hurt (as she should, her feelings are valid), she did ultimately resolve them after a frank talk and an exploration of what she's really feeling. Seeing that is refreshing after seeing Every Other Show turn this "plot" into a season-length dramafest, but Charlie essentially resolved this on her own with the help of Rosie, and by the time she meets up with Vaggie they've both essentially buried the hatchet without even the implication they talked to each other about it. "Deeds not words" was the big clincher for Charlie forgiving her, but I'm not alone in thinking this is some sort of mis-step, right? My hope with season 2, along with getting more episodes, please, is that they get more room to breath, but also don't "slog". A tough needle to thread, but a doable one I believe.

"Too much red." - Adam Firstman

Season 2 is a killer for a fair number of shows that end season 1 with a bang. They can enter "the sophomore slump" as they try to find their footing exploring new ground while also not fully divorcing themselves from the identity they built up in season 1. But I feel like they set up quite a number of threads to follow up on. The Angels have been defeated (RIP Adam, he sucked but he was fun to watch), Lute is still thirsty for revenge, and apparently they not only have Lilith, but they're going to deploy her soon. Pentious officially got into heaven, which will undoubtedly cause a shitstorm as redemption is proven officially possible, the Seraphim are the first to meet him, as well as "I wanna see how this goober acts in heaven". The hotel is rebuilt, and is now "on the map" seeing as how everyone knows Charlie stopped the extermination. Alastor has an ace up his sleeve with Charlie's deal, and his motives are still largely enigmatic. Vox and his cronies are emboldened and plan to make a push. There's at least three powderkegs present, with several irons in the fire nearby, which should be plenty of material to follow up with or deliver on.

My final hope is that, as I said in the last post, Hazbin Hotel feels like an improvement upon Helluva Boss's shortcomings. There's still shared issues, like the aforementioned Feminism Loss, but it knows and follows on its own premise (whereas the IMPs haven't been doing much assassinating), swears casually but only purposefully overuses it for obnoxious characters like Vox or Adam or when someone is emotionally compromised (meanwhile half of Blitzo's dialogue can bleed into a white noise of fuck words), keeps up the tension and advances the plot (as opposed to the aforementioned dawdling and aimlessness), etc. So in the same vein as my hopes that Season 2 of Hazbin Hotel follows up on its strong points while working on its weaker points, I hope Season 3 of Helluva Boss similarly learns and improves from its sister series.

#oh no renardie is posting #hazbin hotel

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justaaveragereader · 1 year

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The Eight Evil Thoughts // OT8

Part 9: Realization

You were a firm believer that when you died you were bound to go to heaven…but what happens when you get casted straight down to hell. Before kneeling before the most famous evil thought/leader you run into the other evil thoughts along the way.

"The wolf has eyes for prey, the cow has eyes for hay. One of them's a killer, the other his buffet"

- Itona Horribe.

🌹Pair: Reader x ????

🌹Genre: Angst, Thriller, Possible Yandere, Suggestive, Religion Talk, Cursing,

🌹Word Count: 3.7k

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Hongjoongs face never moved. His poker face was not one to be mistaken with. You couldn’t tell how he was feeling. He just looked at you, he looked through you, he looked into you. He sat so still, you would’ve thought he morphed into a statue.

Your mind was running at a million miles per hour. You couldn’t process anything that had made its way out of his mouth. What did he mean you were the ninth creation? You knew all of these men? You are one of these creatures? You stare at him blankly. It’s like he’s waiting for you to say something to make any move.

“ I…I…h-how..”

You were simply at a loss for words. You didn’t know what to say or what to do to even get out of this. Should you just run..? But where would you even run to..? This was his place, his domain, his kingdom.

Hongjoong slight tilts his head to the side. Looking at you as if you are some poor pitiful creature in need of saving, his gaze alone is making you feel ill at ease. He’s waiting for the perfect time to pounce. You are locked in a cage with a lion. A cage which you so effortlessly wandered into.

“You are scared aren’t you?”

He says in a low tone, inhaling deeply, taking in your scent.

“Your fear…it’s unlike any other it’s so delectable. I look forward to every time you have to come down here and we have this conversation. I can’t tell you how many times we’ve had it.”

He lightly chuckles, eyes boring straight into you. Like he’s permanently burning this memory into his brain forever, like he’s filing away every movement, every facial expression. Like this will be the last time you both have this conversation. He pushes away from his desk, chair rolling back. The sudden movement by him makes you jump slightly in your chair. A wicked grin breaks out on his face. He’s clearly amused by you. He lets out a small hum before speaking up.

“His favorite…can you imagine that..? His favorite, most precious, most prized now sitting in front of me…terrified for their own life. Tell me…should I spare you..? Do you deserve my sympathy..?”

Your eyes start to water, you are terrified. You bite your trembling lip, trying to stop yourself from letting the tears fall. You nod slowly while locking eyes with him.

“Ple-..please have sympathy for me…”

A giddy smile never leaves his face. He’s simply enjoying your desperation, your fear. He leans back further into his chair, rubbing under his chin playfully like he’s thinking hard on his decision. You slightly glance back trying to measure the distance of the door from where you are. If you move fast enough you should be able to make it to the door and out of here within enough time. You quickly glance at the floor, still deep in thought trying to calculate how fast you need to move, the distance, while hoping Hongjoong didn’t catch you glancing at the door.

The room falls chillingly quiet. Too afraid to pick your head up and look at the man. What if he caught you? Is he going to continue to stare at you for much longer? Flickering up your eyes slowly to his desk chair. He’s gone? You close your eyes confused. No, no, no! He was just there….right..? He had been there the whole time? You turn around slowly. Eyes darting all around and across the room. Was this his green light? Was he offering you his sympathy..? You stand up quietly, making sure not to make any noise. You step back.

Making your way towards the shut door. Your hand hovers over it. There it is that nagging feeling telling you to go sit back down and stay put but on the same note the door is so tempting, it’s begging for you to leave, to run away, to make a fast getaway. You grip the knob slowly trying to turn the knob as quietly as possible. As soon as you got the door cracked. You look over your shoulder, double checking that he was no longer present. A sigh of relief passes through your lips. You are now officially on the way to escaping. As you step out, you turn around trying to quietly close the door, hoping not to alert anyone.

“You know…most people would’ve stayed put…then I always forget you aren’t most people, you are temptation itself.”

You freeze in your tracks not even daring to turn around, you already know who is standing behind you. You feel like a child who has been caught with their hand in the cookie jar. Placing your forehead against the door you let out a sigh. You know now this is officially it. You can’t run, hide, flee, or talk your way out of this. You are done for.

Hongjoong snaps his fingers, signaling to the demons standing by his sides to seize you, immediately.

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Seonghwa let out an annoyed huff.

“Wooyoung! I brought you towels to use! Look at this floor! It’s all wet! You are going to get mold and mildew in here! Then it’s going to stink and I’m not going to clean it. You are!”

Wringing out his mop with a frustrated look on his face. Slapping the mop back onto the cave floor trying to soak up as much water as possible. Wooyoung rolls his eyes, a cheeky grin plastered on his face.

“Hyungggg!”

He says in a sing-song voice. Stretching out on his rock. Moving around to get into his comfortable position. Letting a smile grace his face. Clearly pleased at what he saw in front of him. Seonghwa having a small heart attack at the conditions of his cave.

“Look at these floors! Look at the moss sprouting on these walls! You are going to get pests in here Wooyoung!”

Wooyoung lets out a sigh. Silently whispering to himself.

“A pest already is in here.”

“What was that Wooyoung?! Speak up! I don’t think I heard you correctly!”

Seonghwa says while aggressively mopping the floor.

“Why don’t you get placement mats by the water? That way guests can dry off their feet? It’ll make it cleaner in here, less dirty.”

Letting out a groan, frustrated with Seonghwa.

“It’s a cave Hyung! It’s meant to be dirty. See?”

Wooyoung snaps his fingers making the fire blaze stronger, showing off more of the inside of the cave. Seonghwa lets out a small scream, clutching his chest. Whines and gasps leaving his mouth.

“Look at all the bones! The uncleanliness! The uncleanliness is going to kill me. Wooyoung this is a cave! Not a pig pen! I can’t fathom this mess!”

Seonghwa let’s go of his mop dramatically. The stick falling, smacking the ground loudly. Wooyoung lets out a small laugh. Peeling his body off of the rock, making his way towards Seonghwa.

“You know everyone else keeps their area clean but you. What did I tell you? If you are going to eat the guests, compost the bones! Compost the bones! How hard is that? Now I need to grab the broom. You treat this area as a trash can! I’m not cleaning up your cave any more after this Wooyoung!”

Wooyoung lazily throws his arms around Seonghwas waist. Pulling Seonghwa closer, putting his face in his neck and smiling.

“Hyung…we both know that’s a lie.”

Wooyoung rubs his lips together, quickly kissing Seonghwa on his cheek. Continuing to hold him close. Not caring that Seonghwa was trying to shove him away. All it did was fuel Wooyoungs need to be close to him.

“Wooyoung, why are you doing this? I have to get the broom, let me go.”

Seonghwa struggles to get out of his tight hold.

Trying to dodge the kisses Wooyoung is attempting to give him. When the fire in the cave blazes brightly. Signaling that Yunho was contacting Wooyoung. Seonghwa and a very much attached Wooyoung both turn around, giving their attention towards the blazing flame. An outline of Yunhos body can be seen in.

“I hope I’m not interrupting…?..”

Yunho trails off at the end of his sentence. Wooyoung pulls Seonghwa into a tight side hug, cheesy smile taking over his face.

“Of course not! What can we do for you Yunho?”

Wooyoung says with a glint of mischief to his voice. Seonghwas eyes cut to Wooyoung still struggling to get out of his grip.

“Maddox has contacted me. We are all being summoned.”

“Great! When?”

Wooyoung asks while puckering his lips ready to kiss Seonghwas cheeks again.

“Immediately.”

Wooyoung lets out an annoyed huff. His arms dropped from around Seonghwa, with a slight pout on his face. Letting out a slight whine.

“Like right now, right now? Or like 5 minutes from now, right now?”

“Right now, right now.”

Wooyoung rolls his eyes.

“Alright alright. I’m coming, I'm coming. Come on Hyung, let’s go.”

Seonghwa points at Wooyoung.

“Don’t think this is getting you out of cleaning this cave. When we are done. You will be helping me clean up.”

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“Your majesty?”

“Yes Maddox?”

Hongjoong doesn’t even spare a glance towards the demon. Too busy retrieving the book with your name on the front.

“They have been stowed away in a holding cell for now, is there anything else you would like us to do for you?”

Hongjoong stops in his tracks. A happy sigh leaves his throat. He’s finally got you now where he what’s you, where he’s always wanted you. No one besides the princes understand how long he’s waited for this moment.

“Did you summon the others?”

“Yes sir, Yunho is contacting them all as we speak. They are preparing themselves and will be in the hall shortly. Would you like me to gather your things, your majesty?”

Before Hongjoong can answer Maddox the lights in this office glow ever so brightly. Not bothering Hongjoong or Maddox in the slightest. Hongjoong grits his teeth. His fist tightening so hard, his knuckles turn white.

“Your majesty…would you like me to call upon the oth-.”

“No.”

Hongjoong clears his throat. Visibly annoyed, taking a deep breath, he tries to calm his nerves. The unwanted visitor isn’t even upon him yet but just knowing that he’s in the space he banished him to, his area, his world, it’s unsettling, unnerving, and downright disrespectful. Lifting his hand Hongjoong dismisses Maddox, clearly wanting to be alone. If Hongjoong was going to put an end to this then he was going to do it his way.

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Jongho stood frozen outside of Hongjoongs door, internally he was quivering.

“I know you are standing outside my door. Stop being creepy and enter.”

Taking a deep breath Jongho enters, stomach feeling like it’s doing laps at a pool. If he would’ve just spoken to Hongjoong before it happened it wouldn’t have caused so much ruckus. Hongjoong motions to the seat closest to Jongho, signaling him to have a seat. Before having a seat Jongho bows to Hongjoong, making sure to show him as much respect as possible.

Hongjoong looks up from his paperwork, resting his pen down to give Jongho his full attention. He sat up right in the chair, picking at the cuticles on his nails, clearly he was scared, no one ever enjoyed being called to Hongjoongs room.

“Now Jong-“

“I was tired of seeing them, Hyung!”

Jongho quickly blurts out, cutting Hongjoong off before he could finish his sentence. Hongjoong is slightly taken back, eyes growing in size.

“I’m tired, Hyung…It’s so tiring seeing them every time…I’m tired of having to do it. I just…I just wanted to be free of them. Seeing them is a constant reminder of what could’ve been…What should’ve been. I love being down here with all of you, learned to love it even.. but…”

Jongho hangs his head low, visibly upset. Biting his lip so hard he drew blood. Attempting so hard to control the emotions that were brewing rather quickly. Damn that Mingi, Jongho regrets visiting Mingi prior to coming to see Hongjoong knowing any time he leaves Mingis area he backpacks the sadness with him temporarily.

“It’s not fair…”

Voice cracking with heartbreak.

“Why didn’t he cherish us how he cherished them..? Were we the flawed ones Hyung..?”

Hongjoongs eyes filled with white water, never once did it cross his mind while he was having the time of his life seeing them, the boys must’ve all suffered, Jongho being the youngest of the bunch took it the hardest, Mingi right behind him.

All of them reacted so differently when they got banished. Too busy trying to figure out the ways of being a new founder leader of the underworld he realizes he let some things slip through the cracks. Clearing his throat to choke back his emotions.

“Why didn’t you say anything before Jongho? You could’ve told me or Seonghwa. This burden is not one you need to carry on your own.”

Head still hanging, eyes refusing to leave the floor. Jongho feels like a coward. How is he supposed to uphold Greed when he can’t even hold his head up high? He can’t even look his leader in the eyes and admit his mistake. Nails digging into his thighs to ease himself. Internally kicking himself for letting his mask slip so low. He’s supposed to be strong, one of the bravest ones. Hongjoong sees the faint purple tear that splashes on Jonghos pants. Little did Jongho know internally Hongjoong was kicking himself for failing as a leader, as the first creation but most importantly as a brother.

“Oh Jongho…”

Hongjoong whispers out.

Jongho scoots back from his chair, eyes glued to the floor, dropping to his knees. Gasping for air, purple tears are flowing down his face, splashing onto the wooden floorboards underneath him. So ashamed of himself he can’t bear to look the leader in his face. He’s having an internal war, and the biggest enemy he’s facing? Himself. Forehead touching the floor, showing Hongjoong the utmost sign of respect.

“Hyung I swear. I’ll try harder. I’ll do better. Just give me another chance, I will correct myself for when they arrive next. Just please don’t give up on me because I am not strong, I am, I will prove it.”

Seonghwa walks in without knocking, hands full with a bowl of lunch for Hongjoong. Pausing right in the entryway. Face falling into a deep frown. All you hear bouncing off the walls are Jonghos cries, deep breaths for air, and pleas.

“…Jongho..? Hongjoong what’s going on?”

Seonghwa rushes to place the lunch down on the desk. Kneeling down, rubbing Jonghos back to comfort him. He’s never seen him in such a way. Biting his lip, Hongjoong stands up out of his seat. Clearing his throat.

“Seonghwa. Summon the others. I want all of them here. Now.”

Seonghwa looks between Jongho and Hongjoong. Not wanting to leave the youngest but also knowing Hongjoong is the leader.

“Hongjoong…but Jongho…”

“Please Seonghwa…please…”

Seonghwa can count on one hand how many times Hongjoong had said the word “please”. Knowing this must be serious business. Nodding his head Seonghwa gives Jongho one last look before he ventures off to summon the others, quickly.

“Jongho, stand please.”

Taking a deep breath to gather his emotions. Knowing he needs to pull it in gear, instead of blabbering on the floor like a baby. Wiping his tears on his sleeve. He stands up, taking in another deep breath. Eyes refusing to leave the floor. To him the air is thick with disappointment but to Hongjoong the air is filled with heartbreak and failed leadership.

Wooyoung bursts through the door. Pointing his finger at Hongjoong.

“You monster! You tyrant! You..You…someone give me another word to insult him.”

San shoves Wooyoung in the door. All the others follow right behind. Seonghwa is the last to enter.

“You should’ve called him short…you know he hates that.”

Mingi whispers loudly. Yunho smacks Mingi over the head. Wincing, he shoots Yunho a glare. Wooyoung rushes over to Jongho, wiping the tears off of his face. Pulling him into a bone crushing hug. Hongjoong clears his throat.

“Where are they right now?”

Wooyoung tosses Hongjoong a dirty look. Seonghwa moves closer to Wooyoung, lightly nudging him to answer the leaders question. Rolling his eyes, he smacks his lips. Voice laced with disgust.

“They are in one of the water holes. I put them in an unconscious state.”

Hongjoong nods his head. Making his way around the table desk to stand in front of them all. All the members slightly glance at Jongho, taking notice of his very upset state. Yet not daring to move. Hongjoong suddenly bows to all of the members.

“Hongjoong what are yo-.”

He cuts Seonghwa off before he can finish his sentence. Still in his bowing stance.

“It’s come to my attention that I have failed you all. I have failed to communicate, I have failed as your leader. I have failed as your brother. A leader is nothing without his team…and yet I’ve failed to act as such. Please forgive me.”

The room gets chillingly quiet.

“I bet you feel pretty dumb now, don’t ya Wooyoung?”

San says suddenly. Causing a small chuckle to erupt from Jongho. Wooyoungs eyes cut to San. Clearly not amused at his smart mouth remark. Mingi silently stifles a laugh.

“Mingi I don’t know why you are laughing. You should feel stupid too.”

Yunhos sudden speaking out causes a domino effect. Everyone in the room laughs, even Hongjoong.

Hongjoong stands up, looking at Jongho. Before Jongho can even relax from the laughter that’s coming from his body. Hongjoong shoves Wooyoung away from Jongho, bringing his arms around Jonghos body, pulling him in for a hug.

“Please…please don’t go through those troubles alone. You are one of the strongest people in this room. Your burden is not one of your own. We may all carry our burdens differently but we share similar troubles. Please forgive me Jongho.”

Jongho wraps his arms around Hongjoong, hugging him back. He didn’t need to verbally tell Hongjoong anything, the action spoke for itself. Pulling back Hongjoong playfully shoves Wooyoungs shoulder.

“If I am a tyrant, you are a gremlin.”

Wooyoungs mouth drops open. Ready for a slick comeback but Yeosang suddenly speaks up.

“Does that make me the second strongest?”

Yeosang flexes his arm muscles. Seonghwa wants to join in. He starts to flex his arm. Jongho lightly pushes his arm back down.

“Hyung please…don’t embarrass yourself.”

This causes all the boys to erupt in laughter. The atmosphere changing. No matter what life time Hongjoong was in… as long as he had all of them, he’d forever be complete. This was his family.

As the laughter died down. Hongjoong made his way back to his desk. Pulling out the book with your name on it. Yunho spoke suddenly.

“What are you going to do Hyung?”

“I'm sure my selfish actions have not only bothered Jongho, I’m sure they have hurt you all. Yet you never spoke up to aid my happiness. So I’m going to do what is long overdue. I’m going to make sure they stay down here. Permanently.”

All of their eyes grow wide.

“Hongjoong.. can you do that?”

Seonghwas voice is thick with worry.

“As long as they are down here in our area. I can do whatever I please. If the creator has an issue with it. He can write a letter and shove it up his ass. I could care less. None of you should have to suffer anymore. It’s been eons that you’ve all had to suffer. That will be no more.”

All the boys nod their heads. Agreeing with what Hongjoong was saying. He may have lacked at times as a leader but he would lack no more. The boys were priority number one, he was going to make sure that they were all loved, equally supported, and cared for. Even if it meant he had to tear down the world. That was the difference between him and the creator, something that Hongjoong would always out rank him on. He loved all the boys equally.

“After Wooyoung, they will go to Yeosang, next Yunho, Seonghwa and finally they will end with me, and we will end it all. Forever.”

Hongjoong let’s a wicked smile grace his face.

Jongho does a noticeable shiver. He’s overcome with joy that this will now be permanent. You will now be down here forever to suffer. Right along with them.

“They're playing with the big boys now…”

Mingi starts to sing slowly…Yunho smiles, joining in.

“They're playing with the big boys now! They’re playing with the big boys now!”

San couldn’t help himself, joining into the sinister singing. Yeosang joining right alongside.

“Playing with the big boys now!”

Wooyoung grabs Jongho pulling him into the circle the boys have formed while singing joyfully.

Seonghwa makes his way towards Hongjoong.

“Seonghwa get ready…we are in for quite a ride.”

Seonghwa smiles at Hongjoong. Following his eyes, he looks proudly at the boys all singing in a circle. Nodding his head.

“Eight makes one team?”

Raising his eyebrows at Hongjoong with a wicked grin on his face. Hongjoong smiles back just as sinisterly.

“Eight makes one team.”

👿😈👿😈👿😈👿😈👿😈👿😈👿😈👿😈👿

Authors Note: Due to popular demand I was able to stretch it out into two more chapters. Chapter 10 will be the final and last chapter. I can’t believe this series will becoming to a end 💔🥹it’s a bittersweet moment really. Besides that…What do we think..?👀👀 I’ve had so much fun writing this. I based this mostly around Jongho and why he “helped” them with the apple because I think some people wanted further explanation into that. Also Jonghos part was a “flashback” just to clear things up. Also mad props to anyone if they know where the “playing with the big boys” song is from along with the quote…if you know where the quote is from..message me I’m about to be your new bestfriend🤗. Next chapter is going to be so fun. Oo I can’t wait! Also did I cry slightly making Jonghos part…? Yes. Bc Ima sap💀 I cut out so many sad parts from the flashback bc I didn’t want anyone to cry like my emotional ass😀.

DO NOT REPOST.

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yr-obedt-cicero · 1 year

Note

just curious- somewhat in relation to your fic- but do you think Eliza would have been accepting towards Alexander's and John's relationship? if she ever found out.

Nope. And I highly doubt she ever knew either.

Although we don't have anything that indicates Eliza's opinion on sodomy, it is likely safe to assume she was probably your average, period-typical, homophobic, upperclass woman. Maybe even a bit worse considering she was a devoted christian, and was just a judgmental person in general. Eliza was religious and was adamant about it all considering she was often the one instilling religion and proper Christian behaviors in her kids since Hamilton wasn't really a religious person up until the last few years of his life.

I don't see her as being anywhere near accepting, and I often see people comparing it to the Reynolds affair which is just refutable—Infidelity and affairs were actually a commonplace thing of the day, and it wasn't like the Hamiltons' were sheltered from this issue with Hamilton's own family, and their association with others like Gouverneur Morris. Hamilton and Eliza shared the same class with many couples and families that were a victim of such, so honestly, I can imagine it being more forgivable than sodomy (Plus the whole infidelity loop that twists them in since Hamilton was still in a relationship with Laurens when marrying Eliza). And that point, Eliza would have definitely left.

And there are arguments that she supposedly would have been if she didn't mind Baron von Steuben associating with the family, which leads to the unfortunate truth that; even if she did, let's say, know about the Baron's inclinations, it wasn't her choice or say who associated with the family. Ultimately it was Hamilton's, and as much as he loved his wife, I highly doubt he was consulting her about that stuff. Also it's faulty to even consider she knew, as the Baron wasn't foolish with this sort of thing—He was smart about being good with making friends with the upperclass society (Y'know, like the Schuylers'). And honestly, all the rumors surrounding around why he got discharged from the Prussian army and the conclusion being that he was gay probably weren't even true. It's more likely he was just released from service because the army was downsizing, it's incredibly hard to believe he could have just been so open about his sexuality to people, especially enough so to get discharged. If anything, the most critical thing was that he remained a bachelor. So, I highly doubt Eliza knew of that either.

And now it comes down to, would Hamilton tell her? I don't think so. Nothing suggests he ever did, and that she ever knew even after both men's deaths. Sure, Hamilton confided a lot to his wife, but this would have been too grave to share. Additionally, there wouldn't be any reason to, Laurens was dead and Hamilton ended up pushing the memory of him far away.

But since you brought up my fic, I'll add on what separates some of my opinions and then my stories; it's fiction, and despite some of my beliefs like Eliza never agreeing with this sort of thing, or that Laurens and Hamilton would have fallen out of contact had he lived, it doesn't mean I'm always going to implement the most realistic thing in a fiction story I'm writing for fun. It's all about being hypothetical, and exploring those what-if's—So, please remember I'm not always going to be displaying what I say here in my work. Sometimes I will, but in this case where SFP is just a fun little project I started writing for fun and interactions I wanted to imagine, not everything is going to be the most realistic case in scenario.

#I got harsher comments on my work then on here but still-#Women can have flaws and it's important to remember the “founding mothers” were oftentimes just as terrible as their husbands #Also I'm going to apply 18th century attributes to a character in a story with an 18th century setting. that's how it works #You can't gloss over these things they are history #Sorry I'm getting more off topic into the minor controversy surrounding my fic rather than the question in general but they go hand-in-hand #amrev #american history #alexander hamilton #historical alexander hamilton #historical john laurens #john laurens #elizabeth schuyler #elizabeth hamilton #lams #historical lams #Second Family Portrait #history #queries #sincerely anonymous

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vi-sigoth · 5 months

Note

how did you come to be able to trust and believe in men not to betray, hurt, or degrade you over time? i've never been in a situation where i was surrounded by "cuck" leftists as you say, and while i agree those men are awful in their own way, i'm also wary of right leaning men that tend to hide a general sense of contempt for women. a common example i have on my mind often is higher IQ men who willingly marry women who are significantly or at least noticeably lower IQ because they don't believe or care if there are women closer to them in ability, and they enjoy having such control and influence over their wives or live-in girlfriends. there's more but i don't want to throw you a wall of text lol

So, there’s really no good answer to this. I can tell you my own experience, but my life and yours are probably very different.

I have absolutely noticed a lot of conservative men marrying women who are lower IQ, (and tons of “racist” white men marrying poorer Hispanic, Asian, and even black women, which…we don’t have time to unpack all of that).

I would say—keep your heart open. But have your hand on the gate, ready to slam it shut and lock it when you see a red flag. I think a lot of women, because we tend to be more agreeable and less inclined towards hurting feelings with men maybe are afraid of asking the more difficult questions towards the beginning of the relationship (although I think that both men and women nowadays suck really hard at communicating with each other). There are some things you need to ask about that people don’t like—because they’re pragmatic and not very romantic, but in my opinion, women should be asking—

1. What are your religious/moral/ethical views?

My husband and I are the same religion. He and I discussed it very soon after meeting each other. I know that some people like to say that people who are extremely religious probably don’t get divorced because they’re afraid of the shame and stigma, blah blah blah, but I don’t buy that entirely. I think people who’s religious views (which inform your morality and ethics) don’t get divorced as much as non-religious people because their worldviews simply align more and because of that, they’re able to build more harmonious marriages. Going back to Conservative men marrying lower IQ women — I’ve noticed a bizarre trend, mostly with the older generations, of Conservative men marrying liberal women, or marrying women that have a different religion than them. It’s because those men in particular don’t care very much about their wife as a fully-fledged human being. Who cares, let her have her silly worldviews, as long as dinner is on the table; women are stupid anyway, I’d only talk politics with the boys down at the bar—type mindset. Make men tell you their religious views. How do those views inform the way they think about women and the treatment of a wife?

2. What are your thoughts on sex? Is it appropriate to go to strip clubs? To look at porn? Will you ever ask me to swing/have a threesome? How kinky are you in bed? Do you like doing anything in bed that would be considered outside of the norm?

Now this—people REALLY don’t want to talk about this. I’m going to be mega-cringe and cite Jordan Peterson here, but he was absolutely right when he said that nowadays, young men and women do things in bed that they can’t talk about with each other. But you HAVE to talk about sex with each other. I promise, it’ll save you massive heartbreak down the road. Can you imagine being nineteen and staring deep into the eyes of your boyfriend and thinking about how much you love him, only for him to completely blindside you and ask you to have a threesome? Haha. Yeah. (I said no). Talk about sex now, even if you are waiting until after marriage, you can absolutely discuss the act even if you haven’t done it yet. How many times a week does he expect sex? My now husband and I discussed this, and we both unequivocally agreed that strip clubs are out of the question, as is porn watching, and neither of us want to bring other people into our bedroom. We are also on the same page about which sex acts are fine, and which ones are gross and never happening. If guy is pissy about any of this or unwilling to answer or discuss this, major red flag. What it typically means is that he’s already doing those things or wants to do them in the future and doesn’t want to make a promise that he won’t do them knowing full well he won’t keep it. Don’t ever let a guy make you feel like you’re crazy, stupid, or nagging for putting your foot down about pornography and strip clubs. He engages in that shit? Drop him. Men need to be behaving better, but we, as women, also need to be more active in punishing men for bad behavior. Also, ask how will he feel if for some reason you’re sick or recovering from childbirth and you can’t have sex with him for a few months? He understands that there might be periods of time when that happens, yes?

3. How will you contribute domestically? What will our split be?

Whichever person works less hours out of the house does more housework. Period, the end. He knows how to do dishes, do his own laundry, cook reasonably well, and clean a bathroom, right? He better. You also need clear affirmation that he understands that just because a woman stays at home, doesn’t mean they just sit around and do nothing all day. If you are a stay at home mother, he’s going to step in at night when he gets home and parent his children to give you some downtime, and he’ll help you with household chores at night that you might not have been able to get done because you might have been too tied up with taking care of kids? The answer to that better be yes. Make sure he’s not one of those guys that think that all he has to do is go to work and come home, and NOTHING else.

So yeah, I would say, I came to start liking and trusting the men around me a lot more by making sure that I was thoroughly vetting the ones that were interested in me romantically. My husband showed me that he was loyal and trustworthy while he was still my boyfriend because, not only he did he agree with me about all the above things, but he showed me by his kind, sweet, and thoughtful actions. Not only does he agree with me about splitting domestic labor (we both work the same hours outside the house at the moment) he actually does it. He helps with grocery shopping, making our lunches, making dinner, taking care of my cat, as just a few examples. A man who loves you will always show you.

#long post #anonymous #sorry for the constant long posting

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kim-miyeon · 2 years

Text

FOUR

PAIRINGS: Lee Felix x Female Reader

GENRE: Victorian AU

WARNINGS: 18+, marriage, blood, mild sexual attempts, strong language, arranged marriage, religion descriptions, angst, (Warnings vary on chapter.)

WORD COUNT: 5.6K

m.list | three | five

Your mind could not halt the overbearing understanding that you were not in the room with Felix. It had been well over two hours since you had been called back down to your prior engagements. It was tormenting to wonder if he was starving, or cold. Did he need anything? It was driving you mad. You had been unable to focus on any conversations that your guest had tried to have with you that evening, consuming all the congratulations from everyone left you in a daze. And yet, here you were, passing farewells to the last few straddlers who were leaving well beyond the ending time.

“Thank you for coming.” Gregory smiled charmingly at the elder guests as they walked to the both of you shaking hands.

Gregory walked behind the last few guests as they exited to their carriages, softly closing the large front door.

“Wow! I am so exhausted. Y/N!” Your mother exclaimed as she made her way to you, embracing you into a hug. “Do make sure you get plenty of rest for tomorrow’s activities!”

“Yes, Mama.” You replied as she stepped back and your father then walked up to you.

“I will see you tomorrow my dearest,” His palm caressed the side of your face and you smiled softly.

“Gregory, as always, it is a delight.” Your father continued as he reached out his arm to Gregory who proudly shook your father’s hand.

“Of course sir,” He replied and you internally rolled your eyes towards the confidence Gregory had.

“We will be heading to our corridors, it is rather late. Gregory feel free to stay-” Your mother started as you quickly cut her off.

“-NO!”

With all eyes on you, your brain scrambled to make any kind of excuse to your outburst and Gregory chuckled.

“I mean… it is not deemed incredibly appropriate for the groom to sleep in the home of his bride days before they are to wed! It could be considered bad luck!” Your mind was on a mental break as your words rambled faster than you were able to think.

“It seems that my beautiful Y/N is very nervous about that thought, and it is my responsibility as her future husband to respect her wishes. Thank you for the offer Madam, but I will be okay traveling.” Gregory addressed your mother as she sighed.

“Very well, I was not aware you were superstitious, my darling. Have a good night to both of you.” You mother and father then retreated away leaving only you and Gregory in the foyer.

Gregory spun his direction towards you, smirking and rubbing his jaw.

“Tsk, tsk, tsk” Gregory started and you scoffed as you turned your direction away from him. Gregory grabbed your arm instantly and pulled your back towards his chest. Rage began to boil in your veins as his hot breath lowered into your neck.

“Let. Go. Of me.” You gritted.

“Why would I?” His hand grazed up your arm and you began to fight against him as he tightened his grip around you.

“Let me go, I swear –”

“Imagine what it would be like for me to stay in your bed tonight…” Gregory’s cold and rough hand grazed the back of your neck as his mouth made its hot breath near the top of your ear, “uncovering you from this dress, seeing you in all your hot flushed skin.”

You began to feel scared, helpless. Owned. Your worst nightmare.

“I know what I said earlier, Y/N, but I cannot wait to have you all to myself…” He leaned closer into your ear and placed a kiss, “I love the way you fight against me..” You jerked out of his grip, hard.

You angrily turned to him and you pushed him, “Fuck you, Gregory. You are the scummiest, most disgusting human I have ever laid my eyes on. Get out of my house.”

Gregory smirked at you, clicking his tongue and stepped forward a tad.

“I can’t wait to make you mine.” He spoke lowly as he retreated to the door. You felt your body chill and shiver. The idea, the thought that he believed in the future that you would be his ward.

It was almost real. It was to become real.

You bit your lip as it quivered in the fear of losing what little independence this life granted you. And how painful it was that your heart was insatiably craving one person. One person who was up in your closet, hungry and alone.

“Felix.” You whispered in realization as you ran back into the banquet room towards the kitchen.

You entered the empty, quiet room, filled with the aromas of left over delicacies. Your eyes gazed over all the scrumptious food and grew appalled that your family allowed all this food to go to waste rather than those who would need it more. Those like Felix. You began to walk further into the kitchen and looked ahead of you at the long wooden table filled with pastries. At the edge of all the food sat a small woven basket that had been used to collect linens. You softly stepped over to the table. As you looked around timidly, you walked inches further to grab the small basket.

“Milady?” you heard a voice of a man that startled you as you yelped.

“Henry! Oh my, hello. I didn’t know anyone would be in here.” You rambled quickly in embarrassment as the chef Henry stood before you.

“Milady, are you—“

“Famished!” You cut Henry off as you chuckled nervously, “It's difficult to eat when you’re entertaining. May I?” You reached for the basket and Henry gestured at you.

“No no, go ahead!” You nodded kindly as you turned back to the display of food. You began picking everything and anything in sight, you were not sure what Felix liked. You wondered if he enjoyed the same food as you, the same interest. He clouded your mind so much that you were worried he was almost fiction. You heard Henry cleaning up some of the mess and some whispers behind you, which you had assumed must have been servant boys who had stayed late to clean and prep. You slightly turned your head over your shoulders and sighed a bit.

“Do not tell mother. She will have a cow.” You turned fully to Henry who had just sent servant boys off with a stack of plates to clean. Henry nodded to you and you looked down at your gown and back up again meeting Henry’s eyes.

“Henry. The servant boys… they do eat don’t they?” Your voice trembled in sadness by the question and at the troubling fact you even had to ask.

“It’s challenging.. but they manage.” Henry replied and you pressed your lips tightly together. You hated the division that occurred between the wealthy and the commoners. You despised the phrases, wealthy and common. You were born into this life, given food and water, a bed to sleep on. None of which you worked for. None that was a reward for your efforts. All given because you were born and it never felt fair.

“Let the boys eat the food tonight. As much as they would like. Please.”

“Milady I-” Henry stumbled a bit in surprise at your words. You felt the fear in his eyes if your mother would find out, which sickened you to believe that her heart could not allow the food to feed mouths of those who serve us.

“Please, Henry. Leave the scolding to me if my mother were to find out.” With that, you grabbed your basket of food and retreated out of the kitchen, back to where the blonde boy stayed.

*****************************************************************************************************

The large door of your bedroom stood before you as you felt the lightweight sparkles flow within the pit of your stomach. It was so magical, you have never felt so nerve wracked in your whole life. You gently reached out and took a hold on the golden handle, pushing it down and creaking the door open.

The room was dark except for the light of the moon and stars that showed through the bedroom window.

“Felix..” You whispered softly looking towards the closet. You turned your body to shut the door behind you before you inched forward towards the closet where he was. You knocked on the closet door lightly at first and pressed your ear against it.

“Felix, are you awake?” You asked slightly louder. You were afraid of the lack of response and then you quickly opened the door to find the beautiful blonde boy, arms crossed around his chest, legs pulled in close. His eyes were softly closed and he slept deeply.

“How does one sleep on an empty stomach?” You chuckled and you sat close in front of him admiring the softly airbrushed freckles on his pale face. How could such a handsome man be so real? And here, in your presence? He seemed so fictional in your dreams, so far out of your reach. And yet, here he sat, merely inches away from your breath. As rare as gold.

You brought yourself up, leaving the basket of pastries next to him as you retreated to find a quilt for him. You walked over to your bed and you found a soft cream quilt that you had at the edge of your bed. Carefully, you made your way back to the closet where Felix slept and you placed the large quilt over his fragile body. He breathed in deeply at the motion and you smiled softly as he immediately snuggled into the warmth added on him. Your body began to move without a sense of your mind and you reached out your small hand to his face and you grazed the blonde strands of hair that rested on his forehead. The tingles of the eminent spark flowed through your fingertips as your heart fluttered in awe. This was love. You were sure of it. And it was almost a dream in the way that you were unable to explain how this man, whom you had just met, had this unexplainable attachment to you. You were sure of it. This love meant something, and you couldn’t let it leave.

You stood back up and looked at him one last time, smiling to yourself as you shut the closet door.

“Goodnight Felix.”

*****************************************************************************************************

Your eyes fluttered open softly at the sound of Adelaide drawing your shades and exposing the sunlight. You breathed in heavily and sat up, stretching your arms out and groaning. You felt so exhausted from the night prior and that’s when it all hit you.

“Good morning Milady! How was the ball last night-” Adelaide began as your eyes grew big and you jumped out of bed an anxious mess.

“Y/N? Are you alright?” Adelaide halted her morning duties walking over to you concerned.

“Yeah.. I mean yes, I am fine. I just drank a little too much, I feel a bit ditsy. Sorry.” You shook your head and nervously chucked as you looked over to the closed closet door, wondering if you had been caught. Adelaide would have said something if you were, so you had hoped Felix was still in there, quiet as a mouse.

“I will go fetch some tea, while you freshen up.” Adelaide smiled and walked past you as you nodded to her and waited for her to close your door before you raced over to the closet door.

You knocked firmly, “Felix, are you awake?”

Silence.

You feared that perhaps your memory did not serve you right, perhaps he was a figment of your imagination. But you did not want to believe that.

You opened the door of your closet and your fears confirmed. He was gone. Not a trace. The basket you had brought had disappeared. Your medicine box sat at the top of your closet and when you thought of the quilt, you turned to your bed and noticed the quilt had been laid on the edge of your bed, where you had rested on days before. Untouched. You felt empty, confused. Has this all been something in your mind?

*****************************************************************************************************

The birds above you flew freely amongst themselves as you watched enviously. You wanted so badly to be free from everything. From this wedding, from your fate, from Gregory. Your mind was stuck on last night, and how you had wrapped Felix’s hand and laughed with him. It was such a short time but it consumed your mind. How could it have not been real, when it felt so real?

“Y/N?!” Your name was shouted, only to realize your name was being shouted many times before but you had tuned out.

“Yes?” You looked over to your little sister, Clarissa, who was holding her mallet and looking at you rather annoyed.

“Are you even listening to me? It is like I am talking to a statue!” Clarissa stated and you sighed apologetically. You two were in the middle of a morning croquet game, but you could not focus at all. Not with the way things are.

“I apologize Clarissa, I am ready.” You gave her a half smile and she scoffed at you as she prepared to hit her ball.

“Are you that nervous about marrying “OH-So-Mr-Perfect?” Clarissa spoked and you rolled your eyes and she looked back at you, noticing the disgust in your face after she had hit her ball.

“Trust me, he is far from perfect,” You began, as you set up your hit and your sister watched you.

“I do not understand,” Clarissa started as you hit your ball and she continued, “if you do not love him, why marry him? I thought marriage was between two that loved each other?”

You paused and sighed as you looked at your sister, almost in an indescribable sadness. Her youth made her so innocent, and naive. The world was showing its brutality to you that you had no choice but to wish for a new world where she could be free of all this pain.

“Sometimes, we must do things for the better of all. In this case, I must do what is best for you and our family rather than what is best for me.” Clarissa looked at you and most likely noticed the hurt in your voice. You knew that she looked to you for guidance and answers. You were her heroine, and she aspired to be you.

“I wish you would do what is best for you.” Clarissa warmly stated and you smiled at her before she grew a big cheeky smile continuing, “Your life almost could be written as a tragic romance novel”

“Oh yeah, and who would be the brilliant author to write a novel about my sad life story?” you asked, setting up to hit your ball again.

“I would!” Clarissa exclaimed.

“Is that right?” you turned back at her and rested your palms on top of the mallet. “And how many romance novels has the great Clarissa read?”

“Quite a bit, actually. My collection has grown rather large, thank you for asking.” You scoffed playfully at her answer and turned back to hit your ball.

“And do I want to know where you acquired these books of yours?” You questioned after hitting, seeing Clarissa walk up besides you and looking at you teasingly.

“Why share secrets when it's more fun keeping them?” She cheekily smirked at you and you laughed together.

You had to admit that sharing these small moments with Clarissa always brightened up your days. She had so much growing to do but was so clever in her own way. You loved her dearly and always wanted to show her a life different from yours. If you couldn’t have the life you dreamt of, maybe she could.

As you laughed, your eyes met over to the side of your home where you saw a figure of a man looking at you and again you felt everything stop. The man with blonde hair and a beautiful smile waved softly at you and your eyes grew wide.

Felix.

“Clarissa,” You turned to her and she looked back, “I’ve got to go and prepare for the afternoon activities.”

Clarissa dramatically sighed, “When will we ever finish a game of croquet?”

You two laughed and you embraced your sister sweetly, before taking off to the home in the direction of Felix.

The steps you took as you neared the corner of your home felt as if they were slower each time. A large bush on the side stood in your eyesight as you noticed the large land expanding to the other side of your estate. Soon you felt a hand wrap around your wrists, pulling you behind the bush.

“AH!” You screamed before another hand covered your mouth and you looked at the eyes of the man that had fallen asleep in your closet.

His freckles had darkened slightly since your midnight encounter, and in the light you were able to see the gracefulness of his eyelashes that fluttered shut when he blinked. You could smell his natural scent, almost sweet as honey and subtle in a way where he came off so peaceful. His nose carved infinitely beautiful on his face. How could one man be so divine and so alive?

“Felix, I-” you couldn’t breathe almost as he had lowered his hand and stood so close to you you could feel his breath. The pit of your stomach flipped in excitement, “I was beginning to think you were not real.”

He chuckled and you awed in his grasp as he slowly lifted his hand, in an ever so gentle touch, placed his fingertips amongst your temple, pushing a fallen strand behind your ear.

“Sorry for leaving without notice, thank you for the food. It was most delicious.” the frequency of his voice rumbled in your ears, and it made you drunk with anticipation.

“I’m happy that you ate,” you smiled brightly, allowing your hand to caress his wrist as well before you felt the thickness of the wrap you had placed on his hand hours before. Your gaze lowered to his wrist and hand where you had spotted that the gauze was developing a dark red hue.

“Your hand!” you announced in concern, “I told you not to put unnecessary pressure on it!”

“I needed an excuse to see you again.” Felix spoke honestly, almost in shame for your concern. You looked up to him and his eyes gleamed at you like two gorgeous suns. You felt his apologetic energy as you sighed at him.

“So you used the tactic of potentially acquiring an infection to do so?” You teased and he shrugged a tad before you laughed to yourself, blushing almost as the heat in your face rose.

“Can I meet you in your room tonight? To patch up the wound?” Felix offered and smiled playfully to which you giggled at. His aurora brought you so much peace and serenity, it was impossible to not want to smile in his very presence.

“And how do I know that you won’t go off to hurt yourself again?” You crossed your arms over your chest in a playful way and he took a step closer.

“Well,” another step.

“If patching up my wound every night means that I get to see you…” a few more steps.

“Then I suppose I’ll have to break every bone in my body.” you inhaled sharply and Felix took a few more steps.

“You are as gorgeous under the sun as you are under the moon.” He spoke deliciously and you felt as if your heart had stopped.

Soon you were against the bricks of your large home, behind the bush, with Felix entrapping you. His body heat was feeding into your skin and you felt flushed. Your heart raced faster with excitement and need. You needed this. You memorized every feature of his blissful face and body. He inched closer into you and your eyes began to flutter close until-

“Y/N!” The sound of the man’s voice jerked both of you out of the trance back into reality. Your cursed under your breath as you peeked over Felix’s shoulder to see the carriage of Gregory in front of your home.

“Shit,” You said and looked at Felix, “I’ve got to go. I’m so sorry.”

You began to leave before Felix grabbed your wrist again and pulled you back into him, chest to chest and you looked at him in confusion as you heard Gregory shout your name again.

Felix leaned in and entrapped you in the most heavenly feeling as his lips landed on yours. Your mind went blank, a sharp bright white as you had removed all barriers of negativity in your life. Because here is what mattered the most. You and Felix, and it was unexplainable. This pull that gravity used between you both. The tension that you two had and you could feel his heart beat with yours in sync. This was love. And even though you had just met this man yesterday, a part of you had known him for years.

Felix pulled back and smiled at you and you giggled a bit. You bit your lip and held your palm to your cheek as you felt the heat rise to the top of your skull.

“I will see you tonight Felix.” You softly said as you turned to walk towards the front of your home where Gregory was, leaving Felix in the bushes, watching you leave to another man.

You walked towards Gregory who was standing by the carriage looking at his watch until he saw the figure of you approach him.

“Ah, finally! It’s about time you came out here. We are going to be late Y/N.” Gregory annoyedly stated and you scoffed at him and lifted your gown to enter the carriage.

Our parents will cause chaos if we are not prepared.” He continued and you looked at him in disbelief.

“Why do you care so much? Afraid I’ll leave you at the altar?” You jokingly remarked as Gregory sat in the carriage and he clicked his tongue.

You stared out of the carriage as it began to pass by all the land that your family owned, heading towards the town church where you and Gregory will be rehearsing your wedding ceremony. But none of that even mattered to you, your mind was well consumed.

Consumed of the kiss you had just shared with the man in your dreams. You could not forget the silkiness of the pair of lips that were placed on yours, and the pit of your stomach grew warm. He was peace and tranquility inhuman form. You wanted to be with him every morning, every evening and all the hours in between. But in the back of your mind you had to wonder, why now?

You were to be wed in 72 hours. You looked up to Gregory who was sitting on the other side of you, legs crossed, chin rested on his thumb and finger, staring out as well. It upset you deeply that you had known this man for years, and his reputation. But none of it mattered to your parents. It felt painful that perhaps you were bred for this, to become a pawn of a man’s game. So why did Felix come to you now? What was the reason for making you fall in love with this man, that you had only known in a dream, if it was not to wed to him. Or to be in his embrace. Were you being tested by the gods? When will this unbearable nightmare end for you? Will you ever be free?

***************************************************************************************************

“Oh the lovely couple is here!” The chirping of Gregory’s mother rang through the chapel as you and Gregory entered the large room that was being decorated with lavish ivory colors as the workers were preparing for what seemed to be the biggest wedding of the town.

“Hello mama,” Gregory embraced his mother as you saw your parents walk towards you. Your father was wearing his military uniform, looking very strict and standoffish, but loosened up as Gregory walked over to him to shake his hand.

Your mother came up to you and embraced you, as she began to fix your hair and face by licking her thumbs and placing it on you.

“Mama!” you cried out, swapping her hands away from you.

“Darling, you must look tidy and prepared, this is incredibly important.” She stated and you scoffed.

“Mama, it is a rehearsal, no one is here to witness. It is hardly that important.” You informed as you and your mother made your way down the aisle to the pews, where you then noticed the Father had entered at the front.

He was a tall man, hair thinning out a bit in his head, so you could tell he was an older man. He cleared his throat before he began, “ Good afternoon, and thank you for being here today. My name is Father Chris and I will be leading our rehearsal! Can Greogry and Y/N please meet me in the back of the chapel where our procession will begin?”

You turned to your mother who nodded as she made her way to your father to sit in the pews as your parents and future in-laws observed the rehearsal. Gregory then walked to your side as you both walked back up the aisle to the back of the chapel. Father Chris walked to the both of you and smiled.

“Good afternoon to you both, how are you feeling?” Father Chris asked, holding what looked like a Bible in his hand.

“Well.” you both responded and Father Chris nodded and smiled.

“Very good, we will go ahead and begin our procession practice. Gregory, you will process first down the right side of the room once the music begins from the organs. Your groomsmen will follow of course. When you reach the front of the altar, you will bow and walk to the right side and turn to face the audience and the aisle where Y/N will walk down.” Gregory nodded his head in understandment and smiled as the Father turned to you.

“After Gregory has found his place, we will have the audience rise for your entrance. You will walk at a slower pace, as you come down the aisle to meet Gregory at the altar. Normally brides walk on the left side of the room but this is a high social wedding, everyone will want to see you. ”

“Yes, Father Chris.” You smiled and he nodded.

“Very good! After that has been done we will begin the ceremony.” Father John turned to walk back to the altar as you stood by Gregory and sighed heavily.

“I don't’ like this anymore than you do Y/N,” Gregory started and you turned to him as he looked at you, “so why don’t we make this quick, I have important meetings to attend to today.”

You scoffed at his egocentric attitude and you heard the organ begin to play as Gregory stepped to the side to walk towards the altar.

He walked with no care in mind, he was confident, wealthy, handsome. And with that came his snobby attitude and his utmost disrespect. He hated this as much as you did but rather than you, he craved the control he was to have. Control to do whatever he pleased and your lack of ability to fight him. It frightened you and burdened you with images of a future where you bear his children and extend his bloodline. For the sake of whom? Your father.

Gregory approached the altar, bowing at the cross before he made his way to the side and turned to face you. You inhaled a sharp breath as you stepped your right foot forward, looking straight ahead of you and the golden cross that bore your sight. This didn’t feel holy, this was betrayal in the most beautiful form. You wanted to run out of the church, you wanted to run so far away. Back to Felix, back in your bedroom, behind that bush, anywhere where your fate did not end like this.

Your mind went blank in deep thought that you didn’t even realize you had made your way down the aisle. Face to face with the altar as you halted. Gregory stood there smiling, hands clasped at the front of his trousers. You bowed at the altar and made your way next to Gregory.

You looked at your parents. To your father. His face was unreadable, but it spoke a million words. Telling you to speak when spoken to and to do as you were told. You swallowed a bit and turned back to Gregory and Father Chris.

“Excellent job! Around this time we will have the audience sit down and begin our service and ceremony as normal. I was told that the bride and groom would be practicing their wedding vows. Gregory and Y/N, if you may.” Father Chris ushering you and Gregory to hold hands.

His hands, cold as ice, rough and ridged. Nothing compared to the soft and gentle touch Felix offered you. But, this wasn’t Felix. Because you knew very well that where an angel is, a devil is not too far.

“I, Gregory,” Father began.

“I, Gregory,” Gregory responded, looking at you in deep concentration. His eyes are as dark as coal, Expressing every malintent.

“Take thee, Y/N, to be my wife…”

“Take thee, Y/N, to be my wife”

Breathe, Y/N. You thought.

“To have and to hold from this day forward..”

Inhale…

“To have and to hold from this day forward…”

Exhale…

You blinked once and then you were gone. Around you was a field of grass, and the sound of a lake. You turned your head to the side and back to the front and you saw his face. Felix.

There he stood in a black and white suit, hair brushed back, face portraying more beauty that the world could produce. You wore a beautiful ivory dress, one fit for a bride. You were holding hands, and he recited back to you.

“I, Felix, take thee, Y/N, to be my wife. To have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish; and I promise to be faithful to you until death part us.”

Your throat burned as you choked a tear through your eyes, looking at the man who you knew that your heart belonged to. You felt the tear fall from your eyelashes and you closed your eyes to let it fall. You opened your eyes again and there stood, hand in hand with Gregory.

“Y/N are you alright?” Father Chris asked you and you looked at him and back at Gregory.

“Will you excuse me for a moment?” You mumbled softly and you turned to run down the aisle and out to the chapel doors. Finding the nearest room you could, you pushed the door open before your heart began to break before you could catch a breath. Tears flowed from your eyes and the pit of your stomach. You couldn’t do this. You knew you couldn’t. It wasn’t fair, none of this is what you wanted. You knew where your heart lied and who it belonged to, and it wasn’t the man you left standing at the altar, lying through his teeth.

A few knocks at the door startled you as you wiped tears from your face. “Who is it?”

“Darling, it’s Mama.” You sighed as you heard your mother call out gently from the other side, “May I come in?”

You trembled and shook as you reached your hand out to pull the handle on the door, revealing your puffy and blotchy face.

“Oh my darling, what is the matter?” Your mother stretched out her arms and embraced you as you continued to sob into her arms.

“I cannot do it, Mama. I cannot.” you wailed into her shoulder as she stroked your back comfortingly.

“Shh, calm down my love. What can you not do?” Your mother pulled you back to face you as she wiped your tears.

“I cannot marry Gregory, Mama.” You started and your mother gasped.

“Y/N! Why would you say such a thing?!” Your mother was clearly upset and you kept going.

“Mama, I do not love Gregory. I do not wish to be entrapped in a marriage where I am not happy. He is awful and cruel, and I cannot-”

“ENOUGH!” Your mother snapped at you which made you quiet rather quickly.

“Now you listen to me, your father has worked too hard for too long for this moment and I refuse to let you ruin it. All of this is to provide for our family. We have been planning this wedding for years and we will not allow this, foolish feeling to be in our way–”

“But Mama I do not lo-”

“Love him? Darling, those who marry for love, do not live the lives we do. Love doesn’t exist, It's a distraction for those who cannot believe in becoming better for themselves. So they believe that finding someone will make everything better. It's childish. And you, my pet, are no child.” Your mother turned away as she left you standing there in disbelief, feeling crushed and disposed. She reached for the door handle before she turned her head slightly to speak.

“Now, you will wipe up your tears and go back out there. And you will marry Gregory.” Your mother opened the door before finishing her last statement.

“And you will speak none of this nonsense to your father.”

A/N : Hello everyone! Thank you immensely for your patience. This was a hard chapter to write after everything and I hope it served well. I cannot express my love and gratitude to you all. Enjoy!-KMY

Taglist : @exonations @sunshine-lixie @beaann @yumi-xox @changbinswifu @instantlysteadybouquetme @leefelixlovebot @egg-lix @aerastus

#everlasting series #lee felix #victorian au #Lee Felix imagines #Lee Felix smut #Felix x you #Felix x female reader #Lee Felix scenarios #Lee Felix fanfic #stray kids scenarios #lee Felix x y/n #lee yongbok #Felix smut #skz felix #stray kids fan fic #stray kids lee felix

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stagkingswife · 2 years

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H, how are you?

I'm a young godpartner still living with my parents. Mum is culturally Christian and Dad can probably be called a soft polytheist - he believes that the gods are representation of the world around us, like, say, Persephone's journey to Hades is representative of the transition to autumn.

I have two otherpartners - let's call them A and B (not Their real names) - A is a minor god of the Norse pantheon with Disassociative Identity Disorder, and B is an aspect of a major Shinto deity. A's behaviour is very unpredictable, as per Their disorder, but I have a romantic relationship between most parts of Him. B is soft, almost parental, but playful and warm, understanding.

I understand that A and B need time away from me to fulfill Their duties (in the case of B) or simply recharge (A) but I can't help but feel depressed and lonely when they're away from me, like they've abandoned me and don't care. Thing is, this fugue makes it hard for me to find motivation to do homework (I go to university) and it's obvious to my parents that I'm miserable, but they think it's because I don't want to do any work.

How do I explain to them that it's because I miss my "boyfriends" so badly and I think they've abandoned me and I can't talk to B because I have a cold, so that makes everything worse and I can't think of anything else because that's the reason that I'm miserable?

In my opinion, since you came to me, this is when codependency with incorporeal partners becomes unhealthy. Imagine these were corporeal people and you were so reliant on them and their attention and presence that you couldn’t function when they went to work, you couldn’t go to a class that they weren’t also in, they couldn’t live in a separate home from you, or go a day without calling you. All of that is normal stuff for people, both corporeal and incorporeal, to have to do in a relationship. Mr. Stag and I both go to work every day, Oisin and I have our separate responsibilities in the Otherworlds. In both cases I am confident that their love is not directly tied to their proximity to me. It seems like this level of confidence is lacking for you, and it is impacting your ability to function in your everyday life, which isn’t good.

That impact, in my opinion, is what you need to talk to your parents, and perhaps a professional, about. You don’t need to go into the incorporeal romance of it if you don’t want to, that can remain private. It can be as simple as “Mom, Dad, I think I’ve developed an unhealthy codependent relationship with someone(s), and I would like your help with it/getting treatment for it.” If you aren’t comfortable giving them the details you don’t have to, or you can if you are comfortable with that. I don’t know your parents or your relationship with them. I personally don’t feel like the details matter as much as the impact - your feelings about certain relationships have affected your ability to function in your daily life - it doesn’t really matter who those relationships are with. (Now a mental health professional may say otherwise, take their advice over mine if you speak to one.)

What you really want to make sure you don’t do is tell your parents why you’re depressed without seeking a solution for it. Just saying “I’m depressed because my SOs are busy,” will explain what’s going on with you, but not address any of the underlying issues. If you want this feeling to get better you have to do something about it. I know I mentioned speaking to a professional, but you could also try to go the “self improvement” route. There are tons of self help resources out there for overcoming codependency that you could probably apply to your situation.

This isn’t just to you now, Anon, but to everyone and anyone reading: I’m a person who is deeply dedicated to their spiritual life. I prioritize my religion, magical practice, and my spiritual relationships over a lot of things in my life, but not over basic life requirements. I still get up and go to work everyday. I still do my household chores, make dinner, etc. In my opinion, if your spiritual or magical practices interfere with those sorts of everyday functions on a long term, life impacting, scale - that is when something about that practice needs to be re-evaluated. No matter how deep into your practice you are, you still need to be a functioning person.

#pagan #witchcraft #anonymous #spiritwork #godspouse #spirit work

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why-even-ask · 1 year

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I headcanon J. S. Steinman as a Cypriot. And it works.

Aphrodite's birthplace is in Cyprus and we all know how much Steinman loves Aphrodite. You know, make him a Jewish Cypriot. His family might as well come to Cyprus during the Ottoman period (late 16th century onwards) or even the late 19th century.

It very much works. Look at him. He looks like some Nicosian you'd see in your uncle's kebab shop or something. Just some guy you'd drink zivania and KEO with.

Wanna read more? Click on.

I say he has a mixed family of Turkish Cypriots, Greek Cypriots, and of course his Jewish roots. I mean, Cypriots are kind of chill with religion; for example, the Linobambakis would have both Christian and Muslim traditions and celebrations. Nothing conflicts with anything, you just have a personal relationship with religion over there.

So, here's our favorite Jewish (and Greek and Turkish) Cypriot who worships Aphrodite.

[Using the "There's Something in the Sea" data to build a 'canon' background here.] So, he vanishes from the US around the late 1940s, right? Apparently, he had a friendship with someone for 32 years. Let's say that their friendship started around 1918. Steinman was known for his face reconstruction work at a young age, and it makes sense because it would line up with the First World War. If we say that Steinman took only a few years of education to get to that degree with extraordinary success, it would mean that he was in the US at least by 1914.

It means that, in the game (Bioshock 1 - 1960), Steinman is at least 65 years old.

And, well, building a headcanon here: Let's say that his family left Cyprus because of the British occupation getting stricter with taxes and even hinting at conscription if/when the war broke out.

Now, imagine him.

He still misses home during his studies. He complains about not being able to find zivania (Cypriot drink) to drink. His family sometimes visits Cyprus and sends him some halloumi cheese over. He even visits Cyprus at some point and brings some cattle bones from the empty fields over Nicosia, say, Kythrea. He has them in his student dorm on his shelf.

I mean, don't think of a city when I say Kythrea or something. Think of a village, a very small one. Imagine him growing up there. He steals from the melon fields of the neighbors. He knows which wild weeds to pick to eat. Hell, he even experiments with which herbs are good for healing purposes, as his grandmother is a village elder who people go to for that kind of stuff. He learns that the branch of pharmaceutics exists just for that. Then, though, his focus shifts to medicine. Most importantly, surgeries --face reconstruction and all that. He's around 15 or something, they leave Cyprus.

Now, it's around the 1930s. Steinman is well over 30 at the time. His family had gone back to Cyprus at some point because they couldn't handle the US. His father picks the field up, and his uncle and his mother are running the barns & farm. Sometimes when Steinman visits, his uncle asks him to check the health of the cattle. "I'm not a vet!" doesn't work for Cypriots, you gotta do what you gotta do, lol. He stays there for half a year as a break and thinks about staying and working there as a vet because he really misses home... but the Second World War breaks out. The Brits are trying to draft up people for the Cyprus Regiment to fight in Europe or Northern Africa, especially those who know English being very much preferred... and Steinman has to flee once again. He tries to take his family to come with him as well, but they refuse. They cannot part from Cyprus once again.

Hell, the Brits manage to "convince" his father and uncle to join the Regiment. His mother goes to the US to stay with Steinman because it's hard being so lonely there. Steinman is making good money but you know, his father and uncle are deep in the war already and were as stubborn as mules about not coming to the US.

By the end of the war, his father gets injured, and they get a residency permit for the UK as a "gift" or something. His father decides to live there because he cannot work in the field easily anymore. His mother follows suit. Only his uncle remains in Cyprus. Steinman is alone in the US again.

He also read about Cypriot mythology, by the way. He learnt that Cyprus was Aphrodite's birthplace and now he believes that it's all fate that he is the best face reconstruction surgeon. He believes that he should work with "beauty" as well, and starts worshipping Aphrodite in the private and takes up aesthetic surgery.

He briefly visits Cyprus every once in a while. It's not horrible, but it feels lonely as hell. At least he has his uncle still running the farm, so they hang out and all that. When his uncle dies in the late 40s, though, he permanently goes back to the US.

He's now over 40. He expects to have a feeling of home, right?

The US doesn't feel right, though. There's business, yes, but he wants a home. He wants a place he can belong in. He feels like he needs to erase his name and face off the earth to ever belong somewhere, which feels impossible.

Until... Rapture happens.

Does he miss Cyprus? A bit, of course. But he knows he couldn't have lived there. It's a memory, but quite a strong one. At some point, he manages to convince Fontaine to smuggle him some zivania. For Fontaine's surgery (the Atlas thing, you know), Fontaine brings him soil from the fields, some molohiya (a cookable weed also called Jew's Mallow), and crates full of zivania and a new brand: KEO. When Steinman asks what it is, he tells him that it's the new fad around Cyprus, established in 1949. It's good beer, truly.

And, well, Fontaine had brought him so much zivania and KEO that he doesn't run out of them until his death.

#here speaks my Cypriot blood #he's Jewish as told by the creators I think #and I thought; okay; we got Jewish Cypriots over Cyprus as well #and he pretty much seems like just some guy I'd encounter 'round Nicosia hehe #he would fit PERFECTLY in.#give us some Cypriot representation damn man we're chill I swear lol #EEEEEEYYY NAPAN VRE GUMBAREEEE #EISAI GALA RE MLK;;; ÖLMEDİN MİYDİ BEA?#[ in mixed greek and turkish dialects of cyprus; switching randomly: eey whatcha doing pal? are you okay ya wanker? haven't you died eh?]#my Cypriot (specifically Nicosian lol) father would very much adore it if i wrote this as a story #but how could i explain to him that this is just some fucked-up character headcanons for a game about uuuuuuuh #'So dad; theres this game you kill people with a wrench BUT IT'S ACTUALLY SO DEEP IN POLITICS AND IS A MASTERPIECE-#Dad are you listening??'#ahajalkdgjsfsdf #tw alcohol #alcohol #okay there it was #i had SO MUCH FUN #bioshock 1 #bioshock #j s steinman #j. s. steinman #steinman bioshock #dr steinman

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