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helianthus-tarot · 18 days

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RELATIONSHIP: What do men think about you? How do they see you? (general)

This reading is about men, people who identify as men and/or people who have a strong masculine energy, and their perception of you. It's meant to be about men as a group, but you can try asking about your person, though I can't promise you'll get an accurate answer. If you want to ask about a woman, or someone with a strong feminine energy, you can try, but again, I can't promise you'll get an accurate answer. Keep in mind, when we talk about perception, it's bound to be biased in some way, so if you get a negative message, don't let it affect your self-esteem.

I posted the extended version on my Patreon which includes what do men who are ❤️ romantically attracted ❤️ to you think about you 👀📝 There are other 60+ fun and juicy readings on Patreon too so definitely check it out!

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Instructions: Focus on the topic and ask yourself the question. Choose a number/picture that you feel the most drawn to or that you can’t stop looking at. Trust your intuition. May the message resonate. Let me know which pile you choose! Feedback is appreciated!

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PILE 1

General: 10 of Pentacles, 6 of Pentacles, 6 of Swords Rx (The Hermit). The Sun, The High Priestess.

They sense a stable and grounded vibe from you; they think that you are the type of person who moves slowly or who takes time to evaluate things before you make your decisions, the type of person who considers future impacts and future gains when you make your decisions, the type of person who cares about being sensible, like, having good personal finance skills, knowing how to take care of your health, etc. Some of them think you come from a wealthy family, upper middle class and above, you are privileged, or you receive material support from your family. For some of you, this could be the wealth or the material comfort that you’ve built on your own, but they assume it’s provided by your family.

Despite the privilege/wealth they think you have, whether it’s coming from your own effort or your family, they think you are also generous with it. You share your abundance with others, you guide and help others when you can, especially by providing practical help or material help. So them seeing you as well-off isn’t really coming from jealousy or envy, it isn’t something they do to look down on you or to treat you like you grew up spoiled; it’s just something they think you have, and they think you use it for good.

Some of them see you as someone who could be a good spouse, whether they are romantically interested in you or not. They could simply think that you’ll make a nice partner for their own son/daughter/etc, for example. They think you’re quite reserved and conservative. What I mean by conservative here is not necessarily you believing in traditional beliefs, it’s just that, you give off the vibe of someone who doesn’t really party a lot, you are kind but you aren’t exactly a social butterfly, perhaps you prefer to stay at home and cook or read or do activities that are pretty lowkey or that make you feel calm and stable. That vibe. You come across as committed and responsible to them, hence a good spouse material.

But they also think that you secretly have some wounds or sources of stress that you haven’t moved on from, and they wonder if these wounds are the things that make you feel a little distant sometimes, like, you don’t properly open up. Some of you lowkey give off a sombre vibe, despite outwardly showing that you are happy or you are enjoying your time and interactions with people, so they pick up on it.

You ‘make’ them feel at ease with themselves, they feel like they can be who they truly are around you and perhaps they also feel like you bring out their good sides, you ‘make’ them feel inspired or encouraged to be truthfully and authentically themselves. For some of them, your responsible vibe brings out their inner child, so they usually get the desire to express themselves more around you, without shame, without insecurities. Some of them may be more playful too as a result, it depends on their age, but they could ‘poke’ you playfully so you come out of your restraint, especially if you have a serious demeanour. They also feel open towards you, they feel inclined to receive you with open arms. You evoke curiosity too, hence why some of them may poke you playfully just so they can see more of you. Some of them are drawn to you in a way that they can’t explain, though this is probably because you bring out their inner child.

EXTENDED VERSION IS ON PATREON! What do men who are romantically interested in you think about you? How do they see you? Is it the same or is it different? Do they notice the real you? 🫢 Find out here! 👀📝

PILE 2

General: The Empress Rx (Judgement Rx), The Moon Rx (3 of Wands Rx), Temperance. Ace of Swords, 10 of Cups.

They think you are mild-mannered and placid, kinda passive. Perhaps you don’t react much, or perhaps they often see you taking the less confrontational way out. There’s this appropriate, agreeable and peaceful vibe coming from you, like you try to be mature, and patient, and try not to ruffle feathers. They think you often choose to be the bigger person, but some of them disagree with this decision. They think there are situations where you need to be more forceful and push for what you want, but you choose not to. Some of them could think that your peacefulness is actually coming from a lack of maturity (as if you aren’t fully ‘developed/mature’ yet to them, whatever this means) and a lack of self-assurance. Basically they think you haven’t properly come into yourself or stepped into your power.

This is just an example, let’s say you chose not to confront a problematic situation because you were secretly scared or you were insecure about something related to it, but you acted as if you just didn’t want to fight or force things to go your way, you wanted to be mature so you chose to let go of that situation instead. That’s the vibe that they get from you, or that’s the assumption they make about you. You sound wise when you talk and they might think that you are interested in the spiritual or philosophical side of things, but yeah. Remember this is their perception, in reality it could be that you actually speak and act from experience and wisdom.

They think you are secretive about your feelings, not in a good way, they think you suppress a lot of things, especially negative emotions. They think you often choose to show a smooth and kind demeanour to the world instead of the murky, ugly feelings that you truly have. And some of them see this as harmful, because they think you aren’t really dealing with those, or you don’t really address those issues. Honestly if they are right about you, I wonder if you have Enneagram 9, because this sounds like it.

Some of you may not fit the beauty standard, they think you look like you could become more beautiful but you are still in the process of becoming, you’re still in that awkward stage or the stage where you haven’t quite realised your own worth/value/beauty yet. They may not see you as someone to pursue romantically, or to introduce to someone else, because of the lack of self-assurance that they perceive, they think you aren’t properly yourself, like you suppress parts of yourself and you could have insecurities with regard to that, and you don’t seem like you are open to working on those either.

Whether they are romantically interested in you or not, your presence makes them think about your romantic potential, about how you act in a group and around other people. Especially if you are a woman, some men think about the romantic potential of women around them, especially when they are deciding whether they want to stay friends or pursue something more. And they can be critical of your romantic potential, of how you act around people and in a group; it’s like their critical nature comes out more when you are around, their mind starts to turn and they start to sit and think and observe, and notice things that could be problems if you were to become their partner or their friend’s partner, etc. It’s very clinical though, I’m not saying it’s good, but they aren’t actively trying to be mean when they think these things.

Despite that, they think a connection/friendship with you can be very pleasant, not much drama because you aren’t the type for it, and so they are open to including you in their group, they are open to being nice to you and getting along with you. Some of them could see you as someone to protect, despite not having romantic feelings for you.

PILE 3

General: 5 of Wands Rx (Ace of Swords), The Emperor Rx (Ace of Wands), 6 of Pentacles. 4 of Swords, Page of Swords.

They think you are assertive and confident, but there’s a negative connotation to this. Not super negative to the point that they hate you, no, but it bothers them a little. They think you are outspoken and combative, you fight for what you believe in, you say what you think, you stand strong in yourself, but they think there’s something wrong with this, or they think you need to do it in a certain way, or in a better way, you need to be less this or less that. It’s that kind of feeling. You behave in a way that ruffles their feathers lol.

In reality, it could be that you are actually pretty chill, you know how to balance yourself, when to push and when to wait and receive, you may not be that aggressive or difficult, just healthily assertive and forward (some of you actually come with rough edges, but I don’t think these are bad). Regardless, many of them just don’t receive your masculine traits well, as if those traits challenge their masculinity or beliefs/comfort in some way. Some of them could think that you are a little stuck-up or full of yourself, perhaps they judge this based on your demeanour (or your face, maybe you have a resting bitch face), so when you are just out and about minding your business, getting what you want, to them it looks like you are acting as if you own the place lol.

Some of them could pick up on your more playful side, but perhaps you don’t show it often or openly. It feels like for some of you, they think your playful side is something they need to bring out, and in order to do that, they need to deal with your sharp edges. Despite the edges that they think should be smoothen out, they think you are generous and helpful. You share what you have with people who need it, especially things like skills, expertise, practical knowledge, money and material possessions. When you are in this energy, they think you come across as reliable, secure and responsible. It’s the quality that brings out your calmness and conscientiousness. Some of them think you are good with children, or good with people who need your help since you know how best to support those people. It’s a good quality that they think you have, yet there’s that but.

But they are often triggered by you. Again, not in a super negative way, they don’t actually hate you, not really. It’s just that you make them want to say something to you, to poke you, to challenge you, to get you to talk and respond to them, to argue with you a bit. It’s like you disturb their peace for some odd reason, and they have a lot of opinions about it. They could be slightly mean with their words just to see how you react or just to scratch the itch of their annoyance. They may be randomly or unexplainably confrontational, making sharp comments out of nowhere, or telling you what they think about you unprovoked and in a way that isn’t really kind, as if they have no social skills to handle the situation with tact. You ‘disturb’ their peace, now they want to do the same to you.

Some of them could take a more playful approach; they could intentionally be annoying towards you, tease you, make jokes and start random conversations with you, just to get you to respond to them. You evoke curiosity and desire to know, the way they go after this varies, like I’ve described, it depends on how kind and mature they are. Some of them may not be able to leave you alone without some kind of annoying behaviour or comment. They act like they know who you are, but it’s like, there’s a subconscious part of them that is lowkey open to change, as if they’re waiting to be proven wrong or they are waiting for reasons to change their mind about you. Perhaps they secretly feel like they don’t completely understand you, hence the desire to poke around.

PILE 4

General: The Sun, 4 of Pentacles Rx (King of Cups, 8 of Pentacles), The Empress. The Hanged Man, The World Rx.

You seem very genuine and positive to them. Your vibe is light and joyful, like a beautiful butterfly, it’s like you shine wherever you go. They think you like to laugh or smile, or you bring a lot of laughter and joy to people. They think you make people feel comfortable, you make your surroundings more beautiful and positive. They think you are full of inspiration and you seek to live your life the way you want, instead of following what’s accepted or what’s well-regarded by the external world. There’s this authenticity about you that is very freeing or liberating, like someone who passionately pursues what brings them joy and lives their best life. There’s a childlike quality to you, maybe you look youthful, or you give off a youthful, sunny vibe. Despite you having the wisdom to know that the world isn’t always good and nice, they think you are the type of person who chooses to see the good in others and the world anyway. Despite your youthful vibe, they don’t see you as naive.

They think you attract attention; some of them think it’s because of your vibe, it’s positive to be around you. Some of them think it’s because of your looks/beauty. Some of them think it’s both. They think you are stereotypically beautiful (i.e. you meet the beauty standard), or you take good care of yourself, like smelling and looking good, which makes you look beautiful. They think you have a good self-esteem, you value yourself, you know your own worth, so you live your life like that, but without arrogance. They think you are loving, generous and kind; to people, to animals and plants. It’s the vibe that they pick up on.

If you are a woman, they could think that you like stereotypically feminine things, like jewellery or the colour pink, cooking or baking, or being a homemaker or a mother. They think you deserve to live a good life, you deserve to have your needs met and some more. They think you aren’t closed off, you are open, you show your vulnerability with grace and integrity, you aren’t ashamed of what makes you human. When you have something you are working on, like a flaw or a weakness, you don’t mind showing it to them. So they can only acknowledge the emotional maturity that comes with that ability, i.e. they think you can do that because you are emotionally secure.

You ‘make’ them feel calm, to be honest, it’s like being around you put them into this introspective mode. They start thinking and pondering life, and feeling open to having their perspectives changed, to shift their understanding, and to look deeper into things. You make them more philosophical, and possibly also spiritual. Maybe through their observation of you, or words that you say; they learn more about the world and themselves, about their previous beliefs and misconceptions and how these can change, about a better way to be, a better approach to take, nuances they haven’t considered. They are also more patient around you, gentler and slower to react. They feel more open and willing to change their ways and adapt to you. Some of them are also more open to giving you what you need, even if it’s not something they normally do.

#pick a card #pick a pile #tarotblr #tarot readers #tarot community #divination #pick a picture #free tarot readings #pick an image #free tarot #pac #love tarot readings #future spouse tarot #love tarot #future spouse

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beansprean · 1 month

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Just a little convo that's been in my notes FOREVER because I meant to use it for something else, but it no longer fit after a while. Gave me a chance to practice painting lol

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(ID in alt and under cut)

ID: 1a. Close up on a side table in Nandor's crypt, laden with a glazed patterned vase, a wooden jewelry box, a line of books, and a single candle on an intricate vintage holder, lit and casting a warm orange glow on its surroundings. From offscreen, Guillermo says, "I've done a lot of thinking, and I've figured it out. I do want to be a vampire...but not for the same reasons I used to." 1b. Wide shot, knees up of Nandor and Guillermo standing facing each other next to Nandor's coffin, lit from the far side by candles. Nandor, wearing a typical tunic under a fur lined cape, stares quietly at Guillermo and idly knocks the knuckles of his left hand against the coffin lid. Guillermo, wearing a violet shirt and tie with red trousers and waistcoat, has his left hand in his pocket and his right placed palm-down on the coffin lid, a few inches from Nandor's. He looks at his right hand as he speaks: "The powers, the sexiness, the cool capes - I mean that's all great but I... I realize I could have all that as a human, too. And I have." 1c. Close up of their hands on the coffin lid as Guillermo's hand slides closer to Nandor's. He continues: "But what I want...what I really want...is to be a vampire..." 1d. Chest up of Guillermo as he looks up at Nandor with a confident smile, back straight, lit warmly by candles. He declares, "So I can stay here with you, forever. As part of this family."

2a. Reaction shot of Nandor, eyes shining as he raises his brows and fights down the happy, wobbly smile that threatens to take over his face. He echoes breathlessly, "With...me?" 2b. Wide shot, waist up of them both. Guillermo looks away with a flustered grin and clarifies, "Uh! Well, you know. With everybody. Nadja, and..." Nandor turns his head away as well, flustered and frowning, and mutters "Right, yes, of course." Guillermo continues, trailing off: "Laszlo..." Nandor grunts "Uh-huh." Their hands are still an inch apart on the coffin lid. Guillermo ventures, "But also..." 2c. Close up of their hands as Guillermo's slides closer again, the tips of his fingers bumping against Nandor's knuckles. Guillermo continues, "Specifically..." 2d. Close up on Guillermo from a slightly higher angle as he looks up at Nandor through his lashes with a shy smile and shining eyes, finally saying, "You." 2e. Reverse shot of Nandor from a slightly lower angle, looking down at Guillermo with open wonder.

3a. Waist up of them both in profile. Guillermo starts to say, "And I know that y-" but is interrupted when Nandor launches forward with his hands on Guillermo's cheeks and pulls him into a kiss. Guillermo's eyes fly wide, perhaps less surprised than he should be, and Nandor's close in something like relief. 3b. Repeat. Nandor's right hand remains on Guillermo's cheek as his left arm snakes around his upper back to hold him close. Guillermo presses into the kiss, opening his mouth to let in Nandor's tongue as his hands creep beneath Nandor's cape. 3c. Repeat. They continue to kiss, heads shifting to the side to allow Guillermo to slip his own tongue into Nandor's mouth. Guillermo has unfastened Nandor's cape and is letting it drop to the floor. Nandor's right hand has plucked off Guillermo's glasses and is holding them aloft as his left tugs at the knot of Guillermo's tie. 3d. Repeat. Nandor shifts his head to deepen the kiss further, right hand tossing Guillermo's glasses carelessly behind him and left curling around the back of Guillermo's neck. Guillermo, tie now loose and top shirt buttons unfastened, presses his left hand to Nandor's chest where his brooch has been removed to allow access to his undershirt. His right hand hovers behind Nandor's head. 3e. Repeat. The kiss finally breaks, but they do not go far, Nandor's left hand still hooked around the back of Guillermo's neck as he turns his head to kiss down his cheek. His right hand pushes Guillermo's vest off his shoulder. Guillermo turns his head into Nandor's, eyes still closed, and gasps out "Mm, you'll...ah..." His right hand is tangled in Nandor's hair and his left deftly snaps open Nandor's belt.

4a. Repeat. Nandor kisses his way down to Guillermo's throat, hands now pulling Guillermo's shirt from his trousers and sneaking his hands underneath. Guillermo arches his neck to allow him room to explore, right hand fisted in Nandor's hair to hold him there as his left slides under Nandor's open tunic front. Smiling with eyes closed in bliss, Guillermo continues, "turn me...after...right?" 4b. Repeat. Nandor pulls back from Guillermo's throat, eyes closed and smiling happily, to let Guillermo press kisses from his cheekbone to the corner of his mouth. Guillermo is pulling Nandor's tunics off his shoulders, the buttons on his undershirt undone and exposing his chest. Nandor's hands are busy at the front of Guillermo's shirt, pulling apart the remaining buttons. Nandor sighs, "Oh, Guillermo..." 4c. Repeat. Nandor fists his hands at the collar of Guillermo's now open shirt to pull him aggressively upwards, looming down on him nose-to-nose with a feral grin. He promises, "During." Guillermo melts and grins helplessly, hearts drifting around his head. /end ID

#wwdits #nandermo #mlm #guillermo de la cruz #nandor the relentless #what we do in the shadows #what we do in the shadows fx #my art #fanart #fan comic #image described #long post

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hannieehaee · 4 months

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PINK IN THE NIGHT

18+ / mdi

summary: you were like forbidden fruit for joshua; simply unattainable. no matter how much he wanted you, he knew you were jeonghan's. but what joshua didn't seem to realize was that his best friend was more than happy to share.

content: bf!jeonghan x reader, bf'sbestfriend!joshua x reader, cucking, afab reader, jeonghan's just rlly happy to see his two fave people together (in any and every context), voyeurism, poly dynamics, oral (m and f receiving), penetrative sex, etc.

wc: 8.5k

a/n: thank u to everyone who showed interest in this fic when i first brought it up i hope u guys enjoy!!

masterlist | kofi/patreon

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Joshua wasn't sure how much more he would take.

From the moment he had seen his best friend walk into the room with you by his side, he knew he was done for.

Granted, that had been the first time he had ever met Jeonghan's girlfriend, but all it had taken was one simple look for his ability to reason to completely leave him.

He wasn't sure what it had been. Maybe it was the confident grin on your face (one matching with that of Jeonghan's), or maybe the pretty dress you were wearing. Perhaps it was how affectionate you seemed towards Jeonghan (a trait that always drew Joshua to women). Or maybe it was just a bit of everything. He hadn't needed to get to know you, or even hear the sound of your voice before deciding he was infatuated by you. You were just his type.

His belief of you being tailored specifically for his liking was further confirmed upon Jeonghan's introduction of the two of you. Your personality just went with Joshua's perfectly. The two of you even shared a myriad of common interests, with the main one sadly being Jeonghan. Amidst his interest in you, Joshua had to keep it clear in his mind that you were spoken for. You were Jeonghan's, and that was something he just needed to respect.

Despite that having been your first meeting, Joshua had been made aware of your existence months in advance. It had been during a period of time when Joshua was away for individual promotions that you and Jeonghan had first met and eventually started dating. Joshua heard a lot about you through the phone and through text, but had been the last member to actually meet you. From Jeonghan's multiple accounts, you seemed like the perfect match for his unpredictable and slick-tongued friend. Upon meeting you, this description was thoroughly confirmed. Not only did your angelic appearance match that of Jeonghan's, but your peculiar personality was almost the same as his best freind's (and his too). You truly checked all boxes for the perfect partner for Jeonghan, and unfortunately, for Joshua too.

Now, it all could've been perfect had his pesky feelings not gotten in the way. What he had at first assumed to be simple physical infatuation was later confirmed to be actual emotional feelings. The more the got to know you, the more he liked you. And sadly for Joshua, he spent way more time with you than he would've liked.

Jeonghan was truly a family man in every sense of the word. There was nothing he loved and valued more than his family, as they were his drive in life. To him, family meant anyone he held close in his heart; meaning his actual family, you, and his members. Since Joshua had officially taken the role of Jeonghan's best friend many years ago, it was just common sense to assume that Jeonghan would pair the two of you up quite often in order to hang out with two of his favorite people. However, there were times in which it got a bit ridiculous.

For instance, a few weeks back when there had not been enough space in the car driving you to the airport and Jeonghan suggested you sit on Joshua's lap, saying something about how he was too weak to take any amount of weight on his lap for such an extended period of time. Now, that had to be out of the ordinary for a guy to do with his friend and girlfriend, right? Having your best friend hold your girl so close to him – on his lap – while she bounced every so often due to the commotion of the vehicle? That had to be considered at least eighty types of strange. Not only was it torture for Joshua to become overly familiar with the floral scent coming from your pretty hair pressed against his torso (how in the hell did you know what his favorite scent was?), but the feeling of having you snuggly in his arms also didn't help.

Another instance had been one in which the three of you went out while Seventeen was touring in Japan. It had all been fine and dandy until he'd noticed the necklace you were wearing. It was matching with the one Jeonghan had given him a few weeks prior, except he had told Joshua it was meant to be a friendship necklace. Looking over at Jeonghan, he realized there was no necklace on his neck. Had he bought the three of you matching necklaces but forgotten to wear his own? Joshua could've believed this thought, except this had not been the first time Jeonghan had 'forgotten' something like this. Just a few weeks back he had realized your phone case was matching yet another one of Jeonghan's identical gifts to him, all while Jeonghan had his usual phone case. When questioned about it, Jeonghan simply shrugged and claimed he forgot, insisting in getting a picture of you and Joshua with your matching items while you coo'd at the cute 'coincidence'.

However, these simple mismatches were not the worst of it, no. The worst of it had come in the form of his very affectionate friend translating his own affections towards you and Joshua. Instead of him being the one sharing his affections, he would often decide that he wanted the two of you to be touchy with one another. Joshua wasn't sure how he fell for it every single time. His friend would be cuddling you on the couch while Joshua unsuspectedly watched a movie with the two of you, only to find himself pressed up against you two by the end of the night. Jeonghan was a sneaky and calculated man. If he wanted you and Joshua cuddling, then he would get it without even having to ask. In other instances, he would somehow manage to get the three of you holding hands as you strutted about on the streets of whichever city you were located in at the moment (Did he mention that Jeonghan also liked to take you on tour with them?), with you always being in the middle of the two.

What Joshua didn't understand was why exactly Jeonghan was so willing to share you with him. Granted, none of your interactions were impure by any means, but they were always just a little too much. Joshua had only known you for a few months, and although he was your friend, he found himself being way more physically affectionate with you than he was with any other friends of his (sans his members, of course). Except it all felt natural to him. Jeonghan had somehow managed to condition both you and Joshua to feel extreme comfort around each other; enough to never question Jeonghan's antics when it involved the two of you.

You certainly never seemed to mind Joshua constantly third wheeling you and your boyfriend. At times, Joshua even felt like you were the one who wanted him around. You'd constantly throw him flirty smiles (or at least that's what he liked to believe), you'd never hesitate to engage in whatever antics Jeonghan pulled you into (whether it was a matching hoodie that Jeonghan seemingly forgot to wear yet again or hand holding across the streets of Japan), you'd excitedly text the groupchat Jeonghan had made.

All signs pointed towards you being completely content with the situation. This was yet another part of your dynamic with his best friend that made his brain beat at itself looking for answers. Did the two of you know about his feelings? Was this just an overly dragged-out ruse fabricated by Jeonghan in order to prank him? He knew his friend to be a bit of a weirdo when it came to his shenanigans (it was part of his charm, truly), but he also knew he'd never outwardly try and humiliate Joshua like that, so it was very unlikely that this whole thing had begun with that intention. Maybe his best friend simply adored being with both you and him, making him always pair you up to maximize the time he spent with the two of you. That's what Joshua decided to go with, at least. His only issue was that he was unsure of how long he could keep his feelings for you at bay, specially with the constant proximity between you and him.

This was yet another excursion Seventeen would be taking to Japan in the form of a short tour of the country. It was also yet another instance in which Jeonghan had chosen to take you with them. Your job never had a tendency of getting in the way, so Jeonghan always took the liberty of inviting you to tag along, something neither his members nor the staff ever seemed to have a problem with. After all, you were like a little extension of Jeonghan by then; you were attached to the hip.

Although nowadays it was rare for members to share rooms, it had been decided a while back that diving the rooms into groups of two would optimize their safety; something about being more inconspicuous when checking in at the hotel by reserving less rooms. This meant that Joshua would be yet again paired up with Jeonghan, and by extension you. Joshua didn't mind this arrangement thus far. It had only occurred on two other instances by then, and both had been relatively chill sans the one time he walked in on the two of you making out (You pulled away upon noticing him, sheepishly chuckling an apology). That instance had made Joshua become addicted to the sound of your soft breath as your lips smacked against those of his best friend. He felt perverted for having this thought, but he couldn't help but relive the memory of your pliant form against Jeonghan's as he gave you the simple pleasure of a kiss.

Other than that, any and every stay in the same room had been completely calm. Surprisingly enough, the two of you never got up to any suspicious deeds while he was around. The three of you actually rarely stayed indoors while out of the country, opting instead for going out together. That had been the case for this occasion also, except that things had gone slightly differently this time.

Despite the vast size of the room, Joshua could still hear and see everything you and Jeonghan may have been up to. The darkness of the room was not enough to shield his eyes (and specially not his ears) from the familiar sound of your lips sucking and macking against each other. He could hear the soft breaths in between your kisses, and could also take in the quiet moans you released while kissing his friend.

It was the middle of the night when Joshua had woken up from his slumber due to the ruffling of sheets next to his bed. And now he found himself quietly listening in on the fondling you and Jeonghan were currently engaged in, completely unaware that he was awake.

"H- hannie ... No .. What if he hears?", you'd breathed out, words being periodically interrupted by yet another kiss from Jeonghan.

"Shh .. He won't. He wouldn't mind anyway. Who would? You sound so pretty, angel ..."

The kissing got heavier after that. He could hear the sheets shuffle even more, with your shadowy figures allowing him to figure out that your current position was that of Jeonghan fully hovering above you as he dragged his hips against yours. Joshua wasn't sure if it was just dry humping or actual penetration, but your pretty whines had him growing hard either way.

"Hannie ... Fuck ... Please."

"Gonna beg for me now? Gonna beg for me while my best friend is right here? Oh, angel, you're so filthy ..."

"J- just don't stop. Wanna cum, please ..." your breathy voice had Joshua growing even more lightheaded.

"Already? Angel's been wanting me all day, huh? Or is it him? Did you want him around? Does it turn you on that he could wake up any moment and see what a desperate little bunny you are?"

Oh, fuck.

Joshua wasn't sure how to feel about the fact that Jeonghan's dirty talk was getting to him, but the contents of his words had him spiraling. Had you mentioned Joshua to him before? Is that why he brought him up? There was no way this was the first time he had come up in conversation. Specially considering your response to the question.

"Y- yes! Want him to see .. Hannie! Fuck ..."

Your whines had still been simple quiet murmurs in order to maintain the peace and quiet of the room, but Joshua had still been able to hear your answer loud and clear.

You wanted him to know. You wanted him to see you falling apart. Maybe just as badly as he wanted to watch you.

"Oh, bunny ... What a filthy girl you are. Then cum for me, yeah? Show me how desperate you are for Joshuji to see you fall apart."

Both you and Jeonghan seemed to find your release after that, with Jeonghan burying his face in your neck as he muffled his groans of pleasure, and you doing the same. But Joshua had heard it all anyway. He had heard every single whimper and cry of pleasure from both parties involved, and now his dick was aching for release. It had taken him herculean effort to not hump against the bed at every movement he caught from his corner of the room. Now he was stuck continuing to pretend he was asleep as he heard the two of you still softly kiss each other as you shared sweet words before slumber took over you.

Somehow Joshua managed to fall asleep despite the uncomfortable boner you'd both provoked. The next morning had been a bit awkward, however. Upon waking up and walking over to the built-in kitchen in the hotel room, he found you leaning against the counter as you drank some coffee. You were wearing something that was clearly meant to make Joshua's pre-existing problem even worse – a tiny tank top paired by tiny shorts, with your nipples poking right through it. Wearing such skimpy clothing around Joshua didn't seem to bother you, seeing as you had no reaction to him seeing you like that.

Just like last night, this was sort of a first. You usually had the tendency of covering up more whenever Joshua was around. It was either out of shyness or to keep the goods for your boyfriend's eyes only. Today, though, you were quite nonchalant about it. Jeonghan too, as he simply smirked at his friend the moment he walked in, landing a quick peck to your lips before offering Joshua a coffee of his own.

The air had been weird that morning, almost as if the two of you had been teasing him. But Joshua was 100% certain the two of you would not have continued your antics if you'd actually believed he had been awake. I mean, the two of you wouldn't even kiss much while he was around. It just didn't add up.

"So, Shua, any plans for today?," it was Jeonghan who interrupted his thoughts, now with his arms wrapped around you as he stood behind you, face buried in your neck as if Joshua wasn't even there.

"Are we off today?"

"Yeah. We have the next three days off due to the weather. Probably gonna have to stay indoors as much as we can too."

"Oh, uh. I'll go see the sights, maybe. Give you guys some time to yourselves."

That got your attention.

"What? No! You can always hang with us, Joshua, you know that."

As much as the sweet words touched him, he needed to not look you in the eye too much for a bit. He needed to clear his head from the pretty sounds that had left your mouth last night; sounds that were now on replay in his head.

"It's fine. Told Seokmin and Mingyu I'd go to this one cafe they'd been meaning to check out. I'll see you guys later today though?"

He'd finished his coffee by now, opting to wash his cup before he headed over to the bathroom to get ready.

"Boooo! Fine. You can go, Joshuji. We'll find fun on our own. Right, bunny?", the smirk seemed glued to his face, just like his body seemed glued to you. Joshua knew Hannie to be affectionate, but he never really rubbed it in his face like this. Yeah, he really needed the day off from being with the happy couple.

He ignored Jeonghan in favor of going to get ready for his day. Within less than an hour he was bidding his goodbyes to the two of you, texting Seokmin that he was on his way to their shared room. Along with Mingyu and Wonwoo, the three headed out for the day, allowing Joshua a short-lived distraction from your alluring presence.

He came back to the hotel later than expected. Most of his day had been spent outdoors despite of the unfavorable weather. The atmosphere was nice regardless, so he just let the day drag on as he spent time with his friends.

It wasn't until around 9pm that he headed back to the hotel with his friends. They went their separate ways upon arriving, with each going to their respective rooms. Joshua arrived to his shared hotel room, not paying much mind to anything as he walked in. Except the sight in front of him stopped him on his tracks immediately.

Neither of you had spotted him when he first walked in. Your minds were clearly taken up by your current activity. You were facing away from the door, with your head facing down as Jeonghan's dick invaded your mouth. Jeonghan was sitting on the couch which was facing the direction of the door Joshua had just walked through, except his eyes were closed and his head thrown back. His hands were buried in your hair as he lightly pushed your face further against his crotch. The sounds of your gagging and gargling were overly filthy, making Joshua gulp at both the sound and the sight. Jeonghan's angelic moans of your name surprisingly didn't help Joshua's situation either. He found himself turned on by the sight of both you and his best friend.

It didn't take long for Jeonghan to spot Joshua as he stood frozen by the entrance. The moment Jeonghan opened his eyes, Joshua knew he was absolutely fucked. Except his friend didn't seem surprised to find him standing there, but more so pleased to see him. He threw him a smirk and began to play up his antics without once stopping your movements to inform you of Joshua's arrival.

"Oh, bunny ... Such a pretty thing, shit ... Taking my cock like the angel you are."

He began to grind against your mouth, almost full on fucking it. Joshua could hear your muffled moans against his dick from where he stood. Despite Jeonghan's sultry gaze on him, he couldn't look away, although his eyes were mostly glued to your form.

"Angel ... Gonna make me cum. Fuck, you take my cock so well, angel. Gonna swallow for me? Hmm? Gonna be good?"

You disconnected yourself from him, now licking and kissing at his tip as Jeonghan's eyes rolled back, head falling against the couch as his eyes finally left Joshua's.

"Please, Hannie ... Want your cum. Fuck my mouth? Need it so bad."

Oh, you filthy thing. Joshua had to hold back in groaning at your words. What he wouldn't give to be in Jeonghan's spot right now. He would've had to make you cum with his mouth at least three times before letting you get on your knees for him. He knew that the moment you even gave him the green light he'd be cumming in his pants. It had been months of wanting you, and the past few days in which you'd been hanging around in skimpy clothing while being overly affectionate with his best friend had gotten him extremely pent up (re: it had only been two days, but that was more than enough for Joshua). You just had this special effect on him.

As much as Joshua didn't want to admit it, the fact that you were taken by Jeonghan of all people made him want you even more. There was just something so hot about the concept of sharing you with his best friend. This thought might've explained why Joshua was almost salivating at the sight of you worshiping his best friend's cock in front of him.

"F- fuck, angel! That's it ... Take it all ... Swallow like the obedient little bunny you are ..."

It hadn't taken Jeonghan too long after that to become limp against the couch, almost forgetting about Joshua's presence. You were still seemingly clueless about him having seen the whole show.

Jeonghan made you sit on his lap after that, running his hands up and down your back and ass as your thong-covered ass faced Joshua at the perfect angle to admire the entirety of your almost fully-nude back. He squeezed and caressed at every part Joshua could only ever dream of touching.

"Let me take you to sleep, huh, baby? Need to keep your energy so I can fuck you all day tomorrow too, yeah?"

You nodded and kissed him, seemingly getting lost in the kiss immediately after, moaning and sighing against his lips as he continued to feel you up. Somehow Jeonghan managed to lead you to bed right after that, never allowing you to spot Joshua as he cleared the area for his friend to finally walk in without you realizing he had been there the whole time. Jeonghan gave Joshua a wink before Joshua finally managed to sneak into the restroom to take care of his newfound problem.

As Joshua hurriedly finished himself off as quietly as he could, knowing you were likely asleep already, he knew he was thoroughly and completely fucked.

The following morning, you were gone before he had woken up. It was just him and Jeonghan in the room now.

Joshua tentatively walked up to the island located in the small kitchen of the hotel room. Jeonghan was already leaning against it, absentmindedly eating some cereal as Joshua avoided his gaze. Upon sitting across from his view, however, Joshua felt the need to bring up what had happened last night.

"Han, listen. I'm so so-"

"Did you like it?"

He'd asked it so casually as he continued chomping on his cereal, usual look of amusement on his face.

"Did I ... like it?"

"Yeah. Did you like watching my girlfriend suck me off?"

"It was an accident, I had no idea you guys would be doing that when I walked in. You had all day for that. Why would you do it when you knew I'd be coming back? You-"

"Oh? Did I force you to stand there and watch, Joshuji? Did I hold you hostage as you salivated over my girlfriend as she gagged on my dick?", Jeonghan let out an incredulous chuckle, "Did I make you watch that other night while you pretended to sleep as I fucked her?"

Oh. He ... He knew about that?

"Han, listen, I-"

"So did you like it or not? Do you like watching my girlfriend?"

He might as well come out with it. He was well acquainted with his friend's stubborn nature. There was no reason to go in circles about it, specially now that he knew that Jeonghan had been aware of him being awake while the two of you had sex the other night.

"Yes. I .. I liked it."

"Huh. Didn't think you'd admit it that easily."

"There's more," he began before being interrupted by Jeonghan yet again.

"I know. You like her. Don't you?"

He was quite nonchalant as he said it. It unnerved Joshua like crazy. He knew his best friend to be pretty odd, but there was just no way he could be so calm about finding out his best friend was crushing on his girlfriend, was there? It wasn't like you were just some disposable fling either; Joshua knew how much Jeonghan loved you.

"How– Jeonghan, man, I'm sorry. I don't know how it happened. I never meant for it to escalate to this. I thought it was just some schoolgirl crush that I'd get over in a few weeks, but the weeks became months and ... yeah. I'm sorry. I'd never actually act up on it, you know that. You're my best friend and I like to think she's my friend too. I .. I don't know what to say. I'm sorry. Again."

Through the entirety of Joshua's speech, his best friend kept his disinterested stare as he continued to eat at his cereal. It hadn't sounded like the crush was news to Jeonghan either. It seemed like he had just been waiting for Joshua to finally fess up.

"Joshua, stop", he put his cereal down before coming closer to him, "I'm not mad. And neither is she."

"She knows?!"

He chuckled at this, "I mean, you're not exactly discreet. It was kinda funny actually. You're usually pretty smooth. Except with her, of course."

"What the hell is happening right now?"

"Okay, sit. I'll explain."

Jeonghan gestured for a very exasperated Joshua to take a seat on the chair right across from him, putting the cereal aside to give him his entire attention. He was also still wondering where you had gone this morning. Jeonghan seemed to read his mind as he absentmindedly looked back towards the bed you'd been lying on just last night.

"She went out with Boo. You don't have to worry about her coming back right now," he interjected, "Anyways. Yes. I know. Well, we know you like Y/N. We also, uh, knew you were awake that day ... That's kinda why we did it ...," for once Jeonghan showed an ounce of sheepishness at his own words.

So you'd done it on purpose? Joshua's mind was spinning by now. He was beyond embarrassed but also extremely intrigued by what was being revealed to him.

"You .. Why?"

"Joshua, listen. I've known about your crush on my girlfriend since you first met her. If it were anyone else, I'd probably hate it, but for some reason since it's you, I ... I don't seem to mind it. I don't know why that is."

"You're okay with it?"

"Let's say yeah. Let's say I don't mind. Let's say ... let's say I like it."

"You what?"

"It shouldn't come as a surprise to you. Do you think I'd let anyone else see my girlfriend walk around almost naked and say nothing? Or that I'd make it so you two touch each other all the time – even if it's purely innocent?"

Holy fuck.

"Wait. You've been doing all this on purpose? I thought you were just teasing me. Did you .. Do you want me to have her ?"

He knew it was a stupid way to pose the question, but all signs indicated towards Jeonghan wanting to push you straight into his arms. What other reason could there be for Jeonghan's actions; actions he had just claimed had been purposeful and out of his own liking. Joshua always knew Jeonghan to share and gift things to his younger brothers, but you had not been a gift he was expecting.

Jeonghan let out an incredulous chuckle yet again, confusing Joshua even further.

"I'd never just give away my angel. What I'm saying is ... I can let you play with her, but under my rules."

"P– play? Play how?"

"You're a smart guy, Joshuji, get imaginative."

"Does she .."

"Yeah. She's interested, trust me," there was amusement in his eyes, almost as if thinking back to some previous conversation he'd had with you.

As much as Joshua craved you, there was no way he could just ... have you like that. You were his best friend's girl, and you were also his friend.

"Han, I could never have ... sex with your girlfriend. You're my best friend, I ..."

"C'mon, Joshuji. Don't you wanna scratch that itch? She's been waiting for you, you know. Ever since I told her you liked her. She's been wanting you to break. And so have I. There's no harm."

"What's in it for you?", he couldn't believe he was about to agree with this proposition.

"I ... I get to watch my pretty angel be taken care of. I get to know that despite all this she's all mine and she'll do anything I want for me, always", Jeonghan's eyes began to darken at the thoughts seemingly running through his mind, his breath getting heavier just at the thought, "I get to have her every night afterwards, knowing she'd be plaguing yours."

Joshua was embarrassed, but he understood. If he had you, he'd also wanna hold you as temptation.

"So what do you say?", he finally awoke from his short-lived trance.

Joshua couldn't believe himself right now, but the lust he'd been feeling for you for months took over and he found himself agreeing.

"Yes."

Apparently Jeonghan had already made arrangements with you for later that night. He had been so confident he could convince Joshua to agree that he had already given you the green light, and well, he had been right. It had not taken Joshua too many mental gymnastics to know he wanted to have you somehow. He wasn't sure what this would mean for your future friendship, but that was something he'd worry about later.

For now, he was losing his mind.

A few hours after his conversation with Jeonghan, he had been asked by the man himself to wait inside the restroom in order to 'give you some time to prepare.' He was yet to see you at all today, which made him even more anxious. He could hear the two of you talking and giggling through the door, though he couldn't quite make out what you were saying.

Suddenly the door was opened, with a Yoon Jeonghan grinning mischievously at Joshua, gesturing for him to come out. Upon re-entering the bedroom area of the hotel room, he saw you on the bed.

You looked utterly angelic, sitting on your knees above the bed, very light makeup on and soft white lingerie. Had anyone asked him, he would've thought you were an angel. You looked far too beautiful for any man to resist.

His eyes stayed glued to your soft gaze as Jeonghan guided him to get on the bed with you. What he wasn't really expecting (although thinking back, he should've), was for Jeonghan to get on the bed too. You were all now facing each other on the bed, no words spoken as you stared at one another. Both him and Jeonghan matched your almost undressed state, donning only a pair of boxers and a thin tank top each.

"Joshuji ... Doesn't she look beautiful? Hmm? Got all pretty for you."

Oh. Had you dressed up for him? He should've known. You looked like you'd come straight out of one of his dreams. He always loved when you wore light and soft colors. You always looked so pretty and innocent like that.

"Y– yeah ... She looks so– "

"Say it to her, Joshuji," Jeonghan's hand had reached out to lightly caress your skin, running a finger up and down your thigh.

"You look like a dream", said Joshua while staring directly into your eyes.

You gave him a soft smile, daring hand reaching out to touch his knee as his breath caught in his throat.

"Thank you, Joshie ... Hope I didn't scare you with all this. Hannie told me he caught you off guard this morning," Jeonghan chuckled at this.

"N– no, it's okay. I ... I've wanted you too .. It's mutual, I promise."

You suddenly reached out to caress his cheek, catching him off guard for a moment before he allowed himself to lean into your touch, "Yeah? I know, Joshie ... You like me too, huh? Hannie told me. It was so cute seeing you scramble every time. But it's okay now, right? Now we can all play .."

The eyes you gave him as you said it had him gulping. His usually confident demeanor always disappeared with you around, specially now. It also didn't help that he could see his friend's smirk on his peripheral.

"Wanna play, Joshuji? How do you want her first?"

"Oh, I ...", he had no idea where to start. He felt too surveilled to do anything. There was just too much pressure.

"How about I show you how to treat my angel, hmm? Then you get to have your fun," Hannie interrupted Joshua's thinking.

Jeonghan used his hand to turn your head towards him, leaning in slowly before speaking up again, "This is how she likes to be kissed. Take notes, Joshuji."

He then began kissing you softly, going peck after peck before deepening the kiss. He began to lick at you until you opened your lips for him, sighing when your tongues made contact. In the meantime his hands went up to softly pinch at your nipples through your thin bra, which had you mewling against Jeonghan's lips. The two of you continued to kiss like this for a few minutes, with the kiss eventually evolving into a lewd mess of spit and tongues that would have anyone turning their gaze away. But not Joshua. Joshua intently watched the two of you kiss, waiting for what he hoped would be his turn.

It seemed Jeonghan had read his mind once again, as he pulled away with one last sweet peck to your puckered lips. The two of you gave each other a soft smile before finally turning to Joshua again.

"Did you get that, Joshuji? Wanna try kissing her now?", there was a rare smile on Jeonghan's face as he said this. A mixture of softness and cockiness.

"Oh, I .. I can? I mean, can I?"

"Of course, dummy. That's what you're here for. Go ahead, kiss my angel. Make sure to kiss her right," he gestured to you, making space for the two of you to connect right in front of him.

The two of you were shy about it at first, giving each other timid smiles before Joshua finally closed the gap and kissed you. He let out a breath of relief against your lips before really getting to it. Unlike Jeonghan, whose movements matched yours perfectly (due to being completely in tune with you by now), Joshua was a bit more desperate in the way he kissed you. He whined against your lips as he licked and sucked at both your tongue and lips. You didn't seem to mind, matching his pace as he loved on your lips.

"You're so ... Fuck, you're so pretty," he whispered against your lips.

His hands eventually went up to softly run his thumbs over your nipples, more slowly than Jeonghan had. He immediately drank in any moans or whimpers you let out at his actions. With half a mind to begin hovering over you, giving you all of him, he hesitantly pulled away. Joshua was certain that if he kissed you more without actually getting to fuck you, he would embarrassingly cum in his pants in front of both you and his best friend.

"Liked it, Joshuji? My bunny's just so pretty, isn't she? Addictive. Can't blame you for having wanted her for this long."

There was still mockery in his voice, but Joshua didn't mind as long as it meant this could keep going.

"What else ... what else can I do?", he dared himself to ask.

"Oh? getting a little brave there, Joshuji. I'm gonna have her first. Then you get to have your fun."

Joshua felt slightly strange at the concept of watching the two of you have sex, but he was also coming to find out that he found it incredibly hot to see the two of you touch each other. The sight of you sucking Jeonghan's dick the night prior had not left his mind for a single moment.

Jeonghan went to sit behind you, making you recline against him as he made a show of taking off your underwear. He dragged down your panties, bringing them up to his face to inhale the scent, throwing Joshua a satisfied smirk as he then threw them out of reach. After that, he removed your bra, playing with your tits as Joshua watched with a thirsty look on his face.

"Come closer, Joshuji. She loves being touched here. Kiss her tits a bit. She goes crazy over it."

"Hannie!", you complained, face flushing at his comment.

"What? He needs to know your weak spots, baby. Want him to make you feel good, bunny."

Joshua ignored your banter as he scoot closer to you, lowering his head to your tits as he kissed and licked at them. Your hands came out pretty quickly to hold his head against your tits, whining at the way he devoured them like a starved man. In the meantime, Hannie decided to take it upon himself to finger you, causing your cries of pleasure to fill up the room. At some point Joshua removed his tank top and began to kiss your lips once more, inciting your hands to begin feeling up his chest.

Behind you, the devil whispered in your ear, "You like him, bunny? Like how big and strong he is for you? Gonna take such good care of you, aren't you Joshuji?"

"Y- yes. Gonna give her everything she wants," it was easy for Joshua to fall into a trance while kissing you, specially the moment your hands went south, now softly playing with his dick under his boxers.

He moaned at your touch, sighing against your lips as the kiss became too filthy in nature. In the meantime, Jeonghan made sure to kiss at the weak spots of your neck, hands still playing with your pussy. Joshua drank in every moan that his friend pulled out of you, giving you back moans of his own as you played with his cock. The kiss broke soon after, with Joshua throwing his head back and closing his eyes at the pleasure.

Eventually he felt some movement on the bed, causing him to open his eyes. Upon opening them, he had noticed the two of you changing positions, somehow without your hand ever disconnecting from his aching dick. You were now on your hands and knees above the bed, with Jeonghan kneeling behind you. Hannie made a show of kissing at your cheeks as he stared down at Joshua. Immediately after, he entered you, groaning at what Joshua knew must've been the greatest feeling allowed on Earth.

"Oh, Joshuji ... You have no idea how good my angel feels ... My pretty angel ... Prettiest thing I've ever had, shit."

Jeonghan's words about you were almost enough to make him cum. That, and the way your hands tightened around him at the feeling of your boyfriend entering you. The moment Hannie began to cant his hips against yours, you threw Joshua a lustful look, questioning if it was okay to take his dick into your mouth.

"Please ... You can do anything ... You don't have to ask, just– fuck!"

You did not need much confirmation, taking him into your mouth the moment he showed any type of affirmation and getting straight to work. Joshua commended Jeonghan in his brain, knowing he must've trained your pretty lips to take him so well that Joshua almost felt like passing out at the way you expertly worked him with your mouth.

You were an absolute dream, and Joshua was unsure of how in hell you were even real and in bed with him right now.

His and Jeonghan's moans filled the room, though for different reasons. Joshua was overcome by the pleasure of your mouth while Jeonghan groaned at the feeling of you wrapped around him. Simultaneously, you whined against Joshua's dick at the way Hannie pushed his hips towards yours. The increase of your moans let Joshua know that you were likely almost at your end. Opening his eyes once more to look at Jeonghan, he noticed that his hand had dipped, likely now playing with your clit as he fucked you. He could tell the two of you were about to cum, and to be frank, so was he. The context of the situation alone had him delirious with pleasure. Something about you sucking his dick while his best friend fucked you was just so hot and intimate to Joshua. His best friend and the girl he'd been lusting after for months ... He'd have to unpack all this at some point, but for now, he let his orgasm take over his thoughts.

The three of you came at very similar times, allowing you all to catch your breaths before continuing onto whatever else Jeonghan had in mind. He seemed to be in charge anyways.

Jeonghan immediately moved as close to you as possible, sitting behind you while you sat opposite of Joshua. His hands played absentmindedly with you once more while his eyes were set on his friend, a smirk glued to his face.

"D'dya like it, Joshuji? Like how my pretty angel felt? She was so good for you, wasn't she? My beautiful bunny ... Just wait til you feel her cunt ... Her gorgeous, perfect cunt", as he complimented you, his eyes grew heavy, leaving Joshua's to instead focus on you. His hands grew frantic as he felt you up while ignoring Joshua's presence.

Jeonghan grew too lustful for you. It seemed like this was a regular occurrence – Jeonghan losing his train of thought due to your close proximity; unable to concentrate when your body drew him in so easily. Joshua understood completely. His eyes were equally as heavy as he stared at his friend make out with you once more. He also wanted the privilege of doing whatever he wanted to you at any given time; a privilege held by Jeonghan only.

Finally, Jeonghan's reasoning came back and he gave you one last peck before turning to Joshua again, "Sorry. Can't help myself around my angel."

"Hannie, we shouldn't ignore Joshie. He's been so good too," your soft voice cut in.

"Yeah? He was good for you, angel? Like how he kissed you? How his cock felt in your mouth. Why don't you thank him? Show him what a good boy he's been for you," it was as if a permanent grin was glued to his face, careless to how shy you seemed to get at his depraved questions.

Regardless, you moved closer to Joshua, sheepishly asking for permission to lean against his lap. He, like any reasonable man, gave you enthusiastic consent, choosing to pull you all the way on his lap and trapping you in a heated kiss. There was no way for him to help himself, he'd just grown far too desperate for you. The constant promise of your cunt had him going crazy by now.

"Oh? Joshuji taking control, huh? C'mon, you can do better than that. Feel her up. Give her everything you have ... Fuck her."

Both you and Joshua froze at that last statement, disconnecting your lips as you turned back to look at him.

"Hannie .. ? Are you sure? I–"

He scoot closer to you, giving you a peck despite you being twisted at an awkward angle and still on Joshua's lap, arms wrapped around him.

"Of course, angel. Want you two to feel good. You're all mine anyways, aren't you?" he gave you a more heated kiss this time, not caring for Joshua's close proximity.

"Yes, Hannie. All yours ..." you breathed against his lips as he pulled away.

Joshua didn't say anything throughout the exchange. His eyes were simply frozen at a widened state and his mind blank. He had assumed that Jeonghan had been playing it up by bringing up the tempting subject that was your cunt to him as he fucked you, likely just teasing something that Joshua would never been able to have. Joshua had been wrong. He was building up for the final act; the moment in which Joshua would get to fuck you while he watched.

Not too much time after and Joshua was lying down on the bed with you on top of him, both of you fully naked. Jeonghan was sitting nearby with the perfect view of your body. He had offhandedly mentioned that he wanted to see you. That he was fine with Joshua being the giver of your pleasure, but that his desire ultimately fell on seeing you in the throes of passion. Joshua was fine with this. Although the concept of being watched enticed him, his main focus was on the immense pleasure he was intending to give you as soon as you gave him the green light. Which you did while he was trapped in his thoughts, completely catching him off guard.

At first he was ashamed at the loud moan he let out at you sinking down on him, but the thought immediately left him upon his brain processing the tightness of your cunt. For a fleeting second he imagined what it would've been like to fuck you raw in the same way that Jeonghan had done just moments prior, but Jeonghan had been adamant on him wearing a condom, claiming that his dick was the only one with the privilege of being suffocated by your cunt unfiltered. The logic made sense, but Joshua's envy wasn't soothed by logic.

Putting these thoughts aside, his mind went straight back to your cunt. Your beautiful moans and the contortions of your face while in pleasure were high contenders in his list of priorities right now. You were a literal angel above him. The bounce of your breasts and the way your hands guided his own to play with them had him whining at you.

"You're so beautiful ... Feel so fucking good, fuck. Hannie was right, you're an angel ..."

He heard a chuckle (which he ignored) coming from his side.

"Thank you, Joshie– fuck! You're so pretty. So good for me, too. It's nice to have such a good boy for a change."

He chuckled at this, knowing you were probably way too used to Jeonghan's antics. His usual gentleman act was likely a breath of fresh air, and he wanted to perform the part perfectly for you.

However, his body made the choice for him. Despite growing extremely aroused at your bouncing atop him, his body ached for more. Which was why he flipped you over and began pistoning into you like a beast. If your cries and the way you scratched at his chest were anything to go by, he was pretty confident you were enjoying it just as much as he was.

"Gonna make you cum, beautiful. Need you to cum, yeah? I'll be a good boy for you, just ... just cum for me and I'll give you everything," his hand came down to rub at your clit, making you squeeze around him with a mewl.

"Joshie! I'm gonna– Fuck! I'm almost there!"

Along with your moans, the slapping of skin could be heard to his side, with angelic moans accompanying the sound. Looking to the side, Joshua caught sight of his best friend's thrown back head as his hands frantically played with his cock, clearly getting off at the sight of you nearly at your orgasm.

Joshua buried his face in the crook of your neck as he tried to hold back his orgasm until yours arrived. That's when Jeonghan finally interjected.

"Bunny ... Need you to cum for Joshuji, yeah? Be my good bunny and give him your cum, angel."

It seemed like Hannie's orgasm had arrived while Joshua was distracted, as his voice only sounded slightly out of breath and he could no longer hear the slapping of his dick.

"Yes, Hannie .. Gonna– ah! C– cumming! Shit!"

Your orgasm immediately triggered his. Joshua had been holding back, waiting until he could finally fill up the condom Jeonghan had made him slip into. The simple thought of cumming inside you had Joshua's orgasm becoming even more intense despite it being a mere thought. Your moans of his name also didn't help matters, making him continue to grind into you even past your highs. The sensitivity was the only thing that got him to stop, falling limp beside you on the bed.

The three of you laid there breathless for a few beats, rendered too exhausted to do anything.

Jeonghan was the most lucid at the moment, with his orgasm not having been as intense as yours or Joshua's. He grabbed a few wipes from the bedside table and cleaned you up a bit, throwing some clean ones at his friend so he could do the same to himself. But Joshua was too spent to process anything at the moment. It took him a good five minutes to fully catch his breath and sit up to face the happy couple he was currently sharing a bed with.

"So," began Jeonghan, smirk still glued to his face as he cuddled against you, "how was it?"

There really was no way for Joshua to answer that question. His eyes were still glued to your form as you cuddled against his friend. On estimate, Joshua would need about three business days to process what had just happened; the way you were so perfect for him. Inside him he just prayed that this would not be the only time he had you. He'd be okay with not being your boyfriend and simply staying friends. All he wanted was to know that this would happen again and again.

"Joshie?", it was you who interrupted the spiraling of his thoughts, concern laced in your tone, "Are you okay? Did I do something tha– "

"No! Of course not," he immediately went to stretch his arm so you could hold hands, "I ... It was perfect. You were perfect. It's just ..."

"You want her again," now was Jeonghan's turn, sounding very confident in his statement, "You want to know if this will ever happen again. Am I right?"

All he could do was sheepishly nod. He wasn't sure why he felt ashamed at it. The only thing he was certain about was that he wanted this again. All of it. Watching you and Jeonghan together and then being watched by your boyfriend himself. Every detail of it had him burning at the mere thought.

"Don't worry, Joshuji. We like you too much to let you go. Right, angel?"

You nodded enthusiastically, pretty grin on your face, "Yes, Joshie. Of course you're invited again," you patted the empty side of the bed for him to join you and Jeonghan in cuddling under the covers.

He was hesitant in accepting it, but he still found himself cuddling up against you, enjoying the warmth of your hold as Jeonghan cuddled up on the other side of you.

This was all slightly unconventional, but he could get used to it. After all, you were his two favorite people.

To read short 2.4k word continuation u can go join my monthly tier on kofi or patreon!

content: dry humping, cum eating, oral (f receiving), etc.

wc: 434 (teaser); 2402 (full drabble)

sneak peak:

It had only been a few days since that day.

You know, the day in which Jeonghan had allowed Joshua to defile you to his liking. The day Joshua discovered a kink he had apparently kept hidden away. The day you had laid under him so prettily as he rammed into you with everything he had. Yeah, that day.

Joshua was sure he was going insane. Neither you nor Jeonghan had made much mention of the events of that day other than a suggestion of doing it again sometime. That vague proposition just wasn't enough for Joshua. Not when all he could see when he closed his eyes was you (and occasionally the image of Jeonghan fucking you from behind, but the implications of that thought were something Joshua didn't want to explore just yet).

Were you completely unaffected? The two of you were still acting as per usual, being your menacing selves as you remained touchy and attentive to him, but not in a way that could be defined as anything more than platonic (flirty, if you so wished).

Okay, granted, it had only been two days since that night, but had it been up to Joshua, he would've already had you three more times since then. He needed to know where your minds were at, and at this point that meant he'd have to take the reigns, so he decided to design a plan to see if he could land the two of you in bed again as soon as possible.

It was kind of difficult to get you alone. You and Jeonghan were always attached to the hip, which was usually a cute sight to behold, but simply bothersome to Joshua under his current circumstances. It's not like he wanted to take you from Jeonghan. He just knew that talking to you would be easier than to his friend, who Joshua knew would simply try to play mind games with him or somehow make him even more confused.

Finally, after spending almost an entire day exploring Japan with the two of you (holding your hand most of that time), Jeonghan had headed over to shower, leaving you and Joshua alone in the hotel room.

Joshua wasn't sure how to go about this. How could he even bring up the situation without sounding desperate for pussy (which he very much was)? He wanted to have you, but doing it without Jeonghan's presence felt like betrayal. All he needed right now was some sort of sigh that he wasn't insane and that what had happened the other night hadn't been an isolated circumstance.

...

find the 18+ continuation on kofi or patreon!

support me through a one time tip<3

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luna-lovegreat · 4 months

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Hey guys I have a favour to ask

Please do not reblog Jojos post about the patreon with complaints and disappointment.

Everything everyone is saying is valid. Your fears and concerns- the disappointment because you can't afford it- is so important

Your thoughts are important and so are you

It is very unfair to Jojo, however, to see those reblogs- with half support and half negativity.

Everyone is worried about the fandom- what it means that we might not be able to see some content- that we won't know how to handle some people knowing things before others can

But I would ask that you express those concerns on your own blogs, perhaps not even under the Lu tags.

I know your intentions are good. There is no denying that we all care. But these statements are inherently negative no matter how well meant.

No problems will go away by ignoring it- by just shutting up about it.

What I fear right now is a self-fulfilling prophecy. Most concerns are about the fandom- about there being division, a sense of "elitism".

But if we're worried about division, then we will only make it happen by arguing about it.

We should turn to unity. We can work to make this positive.

Obviously no one will share what is on the patreon before it is public. But we can still share in the wonderful excitement and discussions following updates! We should agree to have just as much joy in what we love.

We should agree for there to be no bragging- only excitement when everyone can see it, that we can share our thoughts just as well as we always could.

This is a huge step for Jojo. In motivation and getting rewarded for years of hard work. In helping her to continue what takes so much time.

We've all read big project fanfictions where the author had to stop. I find this extremely reassuring as to an underlying fear I know we've all had.

Linkeduniverse is wonderful and loved. Now we have more certainty that Jojo means to see this through- to carry out what was never intended to be a story starting out.

I get it. I am so scared too. I'm scared for the fandom and I'm scared for me. There is no way I can afford it. I may not ever be able to.

I'm scared to even make this post- to say my opinion and ask something of others

This is amazing and wonderful. I think everyone agrees that we are so proud of Jojo for taking such a big step for herself.

Reblogging her post with disappointment and rants in the tags- do not show her it's not worth it- that she will only be met with disapproval.

Let's be kind- and make this positive.

This is a good thing. Every worry and concern is valid, it shows how much we care. Let's keep this something we love.

I love you and you are amazing.

#I would also ask that you share this post so others can see it #tag people and pass it on #remember that aggressive positivity can still bring negativity #let's be kind #let's make this good #I'm so glad we all love it so much #I'm glad it brings us together #let's keep it that way #we're worried about the fandom- let's not forget we're the ones in it #linked universe #linkeduniverse

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theabigailthorn · 1 year

Note

I'm sure it was asked before but I can't seem to find it: how did you come to the conclusion of leaving your pre-transition vids up (unlike other trans people I follow)?

I've been a supporter for a long time (I made the drawing in the little white frame you got when you streamed with Harris) and a proud Patreon supporter.

I'm also trans. So I cringe inside every time I see an older video, but they were and are so good.

I'd love to hear about this dilemma, if you can talk about it a little.

Keep being gorgeous 💜🌌🚀

It just seemed like the nice thing to do 🤷🏻‍♀️ Some of them are quite good art if I say so myself: I felt it would be a shame to take them down. A lot of them aren't art at all but people still use them as educational resources: perhaps they just watch one video and it's the only one they ever see - they're not invested in me or my story, they just want to learn - or perhaps a teacher uses them in a class, and who am I to say they mustn't? Sometimes people watch them side by side and they see what's possible and what transition really means, and that helps them understand trans people or themselves a bit better - that's a wonderful thing!

I'm not ashamed of what I am or where I've come from. I may not watch them or enjoy looking at them myself - and I do ask that people don't share pre-transition pictures of me where I might see it - but I don't think I should have to hide it. Being trans is a normal and beautiful thing to be!

Thank you for all your support :) Was that drawing in the white frame of a satellite? I think I still have that somewhere!

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howtofightwrite · 4 months

Note

perhaps an odd/specific question, but if a character got shot through the hand at very close range without access to medical care (apocalypse) how serious would that injury be? would it be possible to bandage/treat it without medical knowledge?

So, there's a couple factors here that could have a meaningful impact. However, on the question of how serious, this depends on your definition. If you're asking, “is this life threatening?” The answer is yes, but probably not for the reason you're thinking of. If you're asking, “will this cause significant changes to what the character can do,” then, again, the answer is yes.

The chances of bleeding to death from a gunshot wound to the hand aren't especially high, if the wound is properly bandaged, and the victim can stop bleeding. That last part isn't guaranteed, but unless there's some contributing factor (like a history of alcoholism), if they can stop the bleeding, that won't be what kills them.

What might kill them is bacterial infection. Contrary to popular belief (and, even contrary to what I've said in the past), bullets do not burn hot enough to sterilize the bullet. Meaning the bullet can be a vector for bacterial infection (of course, the bandage, and any debris forced into the body by the gunshot, are more likely to become vectors.) In a post-apocalyptic setting, without access to medical treatment, a bacterial infection can absolutely kill you.

Of course, improper bandage hygiene can also result in an infection, days after the original gunshot wound occurred. In a post-apocalyptic environment, you really do not want to ignore open wounds.

On the non-lethal side of the question, they're never going to be able to use that hand again. At least, it's not going to be the same, ever again. How bad it is will depend on what they were hit with. But, in most circumstances, a gunshot to the hand will break bones in the hand. In many cases the bullet can even eject bone fragments from the hand.

Without medical treatment, broken bones in the palm of the hand can permanently impair its use, but when you're ejecting critical portions of the hand's structure, yeah, that's not going to work right without those bits. When you look at most of your skeletal structure, your bones basically create a kind of intricate pulley system. Depending on what's damaged, destroyed, or ejected, that might mean that some fingers are still functional, or it could create a situation where they're unable to use their fingers at all. In some cases (such as with a shotgun), you might even eject enough material that the hand itself is completely unsalvageable.

So, the short version is, it might not kill your character, but that hand is going to be very seriously messed up, and it will probably, permanently change their life, and might still kill them later.

-Starke

This blog is supported through Patreon. Patrons get access to new posts three days early, and direct access to us through Discord. If you’re already a Patron, thank you. If you’d like to support us, please consider becoming a Patron.

#writing reference #writing advice #writing tips #how to fight write #starke answers #starke is not a real doctor

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cordeliawhohung · 11 days

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Little Announcement Time (:

hey all! so, it seems like my hours are going to get cut at the clinic here in a few weeks, which will bump me down from full time to part time. this means, i'll probably have more time to write here in the coming weeks, and because of that, i've decided to start up a patreon.

i tried to set up a kofi, but it seems that paypal literally doxes your irl name, and that was something i did... not want, so i went with patreon instead. i've added a few benefits there in the tiers, such as longer sneak peeks of works, and being able to read the works 24 hours before i post them here on tumblr, among other things. my works will still be posted here on tumblr; i will not put my fanworks behind a paywall.

any support is greatly appreciated if you're able to! there is no pressure at all, i figured i'd just make this an option for anyone who's interested. there's no way to tip (that i know of) on patreon, so if you're not wanting to make monthly payments, i promise my feelings wont be hurt if you buy a tier then cancel the membership either lmao. this is just to help pad the amount of money i'll be losing at work, and perhaps even helping to boost potential original works/stories i have in mind and would like to get published one day.

my inbox is open for questions! once again, my works will still be posted here! i'll just be giving some extra bits on patreon is all! <3

#core talks #important #announcement #patreon #eek i'm nervous to post this but yeehaw

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anim-ttrpgs · 8 days

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Eureka: Investigative Urban Fantasy by A.N.I.M.

youtube

Allow us to introduce ourselves, we are The Agency of Narrative Intrigue and Mystery, or “A.N.I.M.”, a very small TTRPG studio based out of the southern U.S. but ultimately made up of people from many different walks of life.

Eureka: Investigative Urban Fantasy, our debut TTRPG, is a neo-noir investigation-focused RPG with (as you can probably guess from the title) a supernatural twist, that is currently in production after an extremely successful crowdfunding campaign on Kickstarter.

How far would you go to learn the truth?

Play amateur detectives caught up in things they barely understand, and explore how the lives of your characters unravel as they push themselves to dig deeper into the unknown!

Eureka innovates on and revolutionizes investigative gameplay, TTRPG combat, and what it means to play as a monster as a character in a TTRPG, filling several voids we have noticed in the TTRPG space. Eureka supports investigation to a degree never before seen, ensuring that searching for clues is a granular and player-driven process, but also ensuring that the whole story doesn’t grind to a halt after one single failed investigation check.

Character-driven gameplay!

Stats and abilities are based on who your character is as a person. Freeform character creation allows you to build a totally unique little guy, and have a totally unique gameplay experience with him! This is supported by the backbone of the Composure mechanic. Stress, fear, fatigue, and hunger will wear your investigators down as they trudge deeper into the unknown. Food, sleep, and connections with their fellow investigators are the only way to keep them going!

Secrets inside and out!

Any investigator could be a monster, helping their friends while trying not to reveal their true natures. The party will learn to trust and rely on each other, or explode into a tangled net of drama!

Though most PCs will be mundane humans—or perhaps because most PCs will be mundane humans—Eureka also supports playing monstrous PCs, such as a vampire, in a way never seen before. This isn’t just a watered-down stat bonus, it’s like playing an almost entirely different game, with all the monster’s strengths and weaknesses to account for while solving the mystery, plus the added incentive to keep it a secret from the other PCs as well as their players.

(You can also play as something like The Thing from John Carpenter's The Thing!)

If you like or are interested in Call of Cthulhu, Monster of the Week, Dresden Files, X-Files, Kolchak: The Night Stalker, Apocalypse Keys, World of Darkness, or Gumshoe, you’ll probably find something in Eureka to really enjoy.

Intense, tactical combat!

Hits are devastating, and misses are unpredictable–firing a gun will always change the situation somehow, for better or for worse!

Now in Technicolor!

Evocative artwork from talented femme-fatales @chaospyromancy and @qsycomplainsalot and the mysterious @theblackwarden paint a gorgeously-realized portrait of a world with shadows lurking in every corner.

Elegantly designed and thoroughly playtested, Eureka represents the culmination of three years of near-daily work from our team, as well as a lot of our own money. If you’re just now reading this and learning about Eureka for the first time, you missed the crowdfunding window unfortunately, but our Kickstarter page is still the best place to learn more about what Eureka: Investigative Urban Fantasy actually is, as that is where we have all the fancy art assets, the animated trailer, links to video reviews by podcasts and youtubers, and where we post regular updates on the status of our progress finishing the game and getting it ready for final release.

Beta Copies through the Patreon

If you want more than just status updates, going forward you can download regularly updated playable beta versions of Eureka: Investigative Urban Fantasy and it’s adventure modules by subscribing to our Patreon at the $5 tier or higher. Subscribing to our patreon also grants you access to our patreon discord server where you can talk to us directly and offer valuable feedback on our progress and projects.

The A.N.I.M. TTRPG Book Club

If you would like to meet the A.N.I.M. team and even have a chance to play Eureka with us, you can join the A.N.I.M. TTRPG Book Club discord server. It’s also just a great place to talk and discuss TTRPGs, so there is no schedule obligation, but the main purpose of it is to nominate, vote on, then read, discuss, and play different indie TTRPGs. We put playgroups together based on scheduling compatibility, so it’s all extremely flexible. This is a free discord server, separate from our patreon exclusive one. https://discord.gg/7jdP8FBPes

Other Stuff

We also have a ko-fi and merchandise if you just wanna give us more money for any reason.

We hope to see you there, and that you will help our dreams come true and launch our careers as indie TTRPG developers with a bang by getting us to our base goal and blowing those stretch goals out of the water, and fight back against WotC's monopoly on the entire hobby. Wish us luck.

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thevirginwitch · 3 months

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City Magic: Painted Rock Wards

This post was released a week early over on my Patreon! You can subscribe for free to be notified of important projects announcements, or subscribe for as little as $2 a month to gain early access to my content, exclusive access to research/reading notes, and free digital goodies! Your support means the world to me and helps me to continue doing what I love.

We’ve all seen those pretty painted rocks over on Pinterest, right? These bad boys? Or perhaps you’ve even seen them around your neighborhood/public parks.

Traditionally, these are meant to be painted (sometimes with words of encouragement) and left in public spaces for people to take home, as an act of kindness. Some others paint them for their garden, either to deter pests with vibrant colors, or they’re used to label whatever’s in their garden.

Now, if you live in a big city, you probably have felt a disconnect from your craft or your practice. It’s difficult to connect with a nature-oriented spirituality, such as witchcraft, when you live in a concrete jungle! But there are many, many ways to feel connected to your craft, even if you don’t live in the middle of the woods or have a lot of nature around you. One of these ways is to connect with your neighborhood.

Your neighborhood has mass significance to your life, whether you realize it or not: this is where you live, where you work, where you breathe, where you practice your craft – you must make yourself known, and make the neighborhood known to yourself as well. One of the best ways to do this is to take walks!

Whenever you’re ready, take a walk through your neighborhood and bring a map, notebook, and a pen. As you walk, observe the behaviors of the residents around you. Do they seem to be struggling with anything? What kind of people are they like? Write these characteristics down. If you notice any parts of your neighborhood that evoke any specific emotions (such as unease, happiness, peace, or anxiety), mark them on your map. You might also notice some “problem areas” – perhaps some patches of the road or sidewalk are horribly paved and need to be repaired, or there’s a lot of loud dogs constantly barking at the end of your block. Mark these areas on your map as well, and report back to your home when you are ready.

Picking Your Purpose

Now that we’ve identified a few “problems” and made observations within your neighborhood, we can decide what we want to do. Do you want to protect against thieves? Ward against illness for one of your elderly neighbors? This is the time to select the primary purpose for your ward.

Picking The Area

Take the map that you marked up during your walk. Connect any common points you see (for example, connect up the "peaceful" areas you marked on your map, or connect any points that have a common theme). What kind of shape does it have? Does it remind you of any popular symbols? Can you use the general shape of the area to generate a sigil or symbol that represents the area? What area(s) would most benefit from your rock wards?

Here is an example of how I created a sigil from a fictional city map I found! Obviously, play around with this idea until it makes sense to you. You can connect up different routes, or perhaps create a border around the areas that feel safest to you.

Now is the time you also want to pick where you want to place your wards - you can use your neighborhood sigil to influence where you place them, or, place them based on intuition or based on need. For example, placing a rock ward at the end of the noisiest block, or in the middle of the block that has the most number of children in the area.

Creating and Using Your Sigils/Symbols

Now, you want to develop symbols or sigils for your purpose. You can use any method you’d like! You may wish to incorporate your neighborhood sigil into each one you create, but ultimately the design is up to you. This is also the point where you would “charge” your sigil, with whatever method you see fit - as long as the design, intention, and charging method makes sense to you, that’s all that matters!

Painting Your Rocks

Finally, onto the fun part!

Now, you could simply paint your sigils on your rock and call it a day. Or, you could paint your sigil, and layer a more “mundane” piece of artwork on top of the sigil, leaving the sigil hidden underneath. This technique works best if the “mundane” artwork connects with the ward’s purpose in some way (for example, if your ward is for protection against nosy neighbors, you could paint eyes; or if your ward is for health, you could paint green colors, or even a red cross). I definitely recommend this “layering” method of painting your rocks so no one in your neighborhood ends up reporting any “suspicious looking rocks” with “satanic symbols” on them to your local Facebook groups!

Materials

acrylic paint

rocks

paint brushes

toothpicks (optional)

paint markers

outdoor/water-proof sealant such as Mod Podge: Outdoor

Instructions

Lay out your rocks and other materials

Seal your rocks with a coat or two of your sealant before you begin painting. This is an important step, since rocks are porous and will suck up any paint you try to apply!

Paint your rocks to your heart's content! If you are layering paint on your rocks, please make sure each layer is dry before painting the next.

Once your rocks are completely dry, seal them up with your outdoor/water-proof sealant so they don't get damaged in the elements.

Lastly, take another trip through your neighborhood to place your rocks. Converse with the neighbors if you feel inclined, and make double-sure of the locations you chose for your wards. I recommend taking regular walks throughout your neighborhood to check on these wards, and make sure they’re doing their job. You may wish to refresh the wards with a new coat of paint, or replace them with something new if the situations within the neighborhood change.

Ultimately, magic is what you make it, especially when you live in a big city. Warding your neighborhood and showing care for the people that live there is one of the many ways you can connect to your neighborhood on a deeper level and feel more connected to your practice locally.

Recommended further reading: Urban Magick by Diana Rajchel

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punkpandapatrixk · 1 year

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🪩Your World-Changing Talents — Timeless Pick A Card

First, you change something about yourself, because you see the value in doing so, then you change your worldview. Second, you devote yourself to your Personal Happiness, because you see that happy people create better, kinder worlds, then you pursue your Art. Third, you jump timelines and shift your Personal Reality, and as you create your Destiny, so you sprinkle the world with excitement that is like that of your own~!💅🏻👗👒✨🦋

SONG for all piles: Tsukema Tsukeru by Kyary Pamyu Pamyu

MOVIE for all piles: Kamikaze Girls (2004)

[PAC Masterlist] [Part 1] [Part 2]

[Patreon] [Paid Readings]

Reading guide: For those unfamiliar with tarot meanings, your ‘8 of Pentacles’ devotion—the second segment of this PAC—revolves around your almost sacrificial determination to pursue your Art. Whatever you choose to do with your Life, to become something great in this world… anything worth achieving in this world… always requires a certain degree of sacrifice. Dunno who the fuck came up with that Law, but that’s how it is in most cases.

Whether or not your sacrifices will be worth your while, is a pondering you can only answer after you’ve walked the plank and made manifest all you thought would be important to you. But remember this tiny fact: your Life Force has a time limit. So I always say, ‘If you’re gonna spill blood sweat and tears for anything at all, make sure it’s something that’s important to your Soul’.

☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・.

Pile 1 – Flame of Vengeance Incarnate

VIBE: Yoyuu by AKKOGORILLA

your untapped superpowers – 5 of Cups

I think you’re someone who carries a pool of regrets in your heart. You don’t always swim in it, but it’s like a weird aquarium of all your disappointments in a world you’ve come to know, and dislike, which you carry inside of you. When you were a kid, you already had set expectations about what you want to be or do with your Life. I guess you weren’t allowed to be yourself; weren’t supported in pursuing your heart’s true desires. You thought to yourself, ‘It’s not like what I like is a bad thing!’

People’s failure to understand where you’re coming from broke your heart—perhaps also self-esteem. You could’ve been made fun of for your unique perspectives. Because you were different, people acted as if you were out of touch with reality—like you were insane for even having thoughts and desires that didn’t match the norms. Your behaviours, mannerisms and fashion could’ve also been a source of your getting ‘bullied’ or belittled, in a manner of speaking.

Do you actually understand why you’re viewed so differently like this? The truth is, you’re an alien. You’re an astronaut with a mission. Two scenarios: 1. You came here to play whilst learning to understand the unique limitations that afflict the world of the Humans, 2. You came here specifically to break down conventions and boundaries because the limitations of the Human world are causing its inhabitants to stray even further from the truth of the Divine GOD of All That Is.

your ‘8 of Pentacles’ devotion – 7 of Cups

In a manner of speaking, you came into this world with a specific desire to not fit in, because your Soul’s purpose is to add more layers, shades, depths of colours into the Human experience. I hope that makes sense, seriously. You’re not necessarily a fighter of sort (you could decide to be though), but you’re just wanting to show people: ‘Yo, there are many ways to enjoy a Human’s Life. You don’t have to be restricted like that. Damn!’

Of all the piles, your rebellious spirit is the loudest. You could identify as an Indigo, Crystal or Rainbow Child. You could also have been born in the 50s, 60s, or you’re just generally into the punk aesthetic of that era. It was an era of vulgar charisma. Something about the spirit of rebellion of many artists during that era speaks to your Soul and could’ve inspired a pressing desire for Freedom. You like your Freedom and you’d do anything in your power to protect that Liberty—your sheer dignity for being alive.

You shouldn’t (you know you wouldn’t) stop dreaming your ideal Reality, no matter the oppositions. The drabness of the world actually pisses you off, and you want to fight that grotesque by being exactly your weird and wonderful self. You are fuelled by some kind of rage about the ropes put around people’s necks when it comes to choosing their own dreams or other people’s. You seek to destroy those ropes and avenge those whose flames of passion have been dimmed by their societies. You know you’d never allow yourself to be ordinary because your very existence IS your vengeance.

support for you to thrive – 4 of Cups Rx

I know you’re afraid of cages and lethargy. You’re most afraid of living the same days over and over again and repeating the same routines that have nothing to do with your Soul’s truths. You’re afraid of living the rest of your Life being normal, vanilla, unaccomplished, and above all, insignificant and unmemorable. This particular fear runs in the background of your mind and could cause you to want to be changeable at all times. But living on Planet Earth, a little bit of structure is necessary if you want to maintain any semblance of sanity.

Rather than being always ready to try all kinds of venue—to challenge or prove yourself in all ways to all people—try to really know the few things that actually matter to you. If you could devote yourself to only a handful of things that you know you will never regret dedicating your lifetime and energy into, you could become a real master of something meaningful. And if you do care about what some close people think about you, perhaps this is the best approach?

I think you could really change your world the moment you decide to focus. But first you have to find the precious light bulbs that shine a Light on the things that are treasures to your Heart. You probably won’t have enough numbers in your years to try and explore all possibilities, right? So, focus. Focus on one or two things that really matter. Below essay may be of some use😉

☆°・. Devotion to A Vocation .・°☆ | Punk Girl Culture + Pick A Card

PARADIGM SHIFT🔻💗

raison d’être by your Oversoul – Red Astrologer (William Lilly)

manifesting with the Magic of your being – Priestess of Innocence

Access full reading + cards on Patreon🌸

☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・.

Pile 2 – All-Encompassing Spiritual Courage & Creativity

VIBE: NEXT LEVEL by aespa

your untapped superpowers – XIX The Sun

Since you were a child, you have always been different in that you saw the world with a brilliance in your Third Eye that allows you to see the deeper truths—as well as deceits—of the world. Always wiser beyond your years, you were practically a child sage. You saw through the black and white lies of the adults around you. And you felt a cold disregard for the mundanity of the hobbies and activities children your age were into.

You saw quite clearly some really strange things about the Human world that were normalised. And you couldn’t wrap your head around all this normalcy that wasn’t normal to you. In your heart, you promised yourself you wouldn’t be absorbed into all that insanity. So you created a world of your own that had nothing to do with the one you were part of. The world of your creation had only the colours you liked. It was separate from your immediate reality, but this inner world contained everything that would one day become your real Reality.

Of all the piles, I think you’re the most likely to become a celeb of some kind. Probably even a superstar in the entertainment industry. But whatever your line of vocation may be, you are definitely someone who will be recognised vastly by the public. Mostly for what you do to shine a new light unto this drab world of deceit. You could become some sort of a whistle blower—sharing with the world hidden truths that would liberate the minds of many people.

your ‘8 of Pentacles’ devotion – Page of Wands Rx

I think you’re someone who’s always been clear about certain evil and malice in the world that you think you were born to fight. But if you had to fight anything at all, it was that you had to fight for your place in the world. You believed that when you get older, you’ll be able to do something about all that’s wrong, abnormal, about the world. I’m not even sure if you’re fully aware of this, but…

Do you struggle within yourself to make manifest simple desires that should come easily to fulfil your basic needs—for your psychological and spiritual wellbeing? Manifestation doesn’t seem to work in your favour as easily as it does other people. You may have wondered what you’re doing wrong in the world for God to disfavour you so much. You can’t really understand what others are doing right for their manifestations to come so quickly.

But… easy come easy go, right? Your Soul actually has a very particular interest in understanding how the Devil works in this Matrix of a world we are living in. That’s why you’ve dealt with some serious lethargy and lack at some point in your Life. All for you to truly understand limitations, lack mindset, and many other trauma issues that typically hold people back from making manifest a Life of their true desires. If you can fully understand how limitations are set in place, you can unravel them for good!

support for you to thrive – Queen of Wands

If you chose this pile, there’s a very high chance you’re a Starseed. That’s why you refused to be like your environment or upbringing. You had this NEXT LEVEL understanding of who you are on a Soul level. You believed you were higher than the folly of Mankind. Sounds like arrogance, but what can you do when you’re literally nobler than the rest of Humanity, whose main characteristics are destructive, deceitful and bloodthirsty? You’ve always known you’re better than THAT.

Of all the piles, I think you’d resonate with the idea of never having your own free will. To some extent, it’s quite true because you’re like this important agent of change whose mission is too important to fail. From the Higher Realms, your Higher Self and team of Spirit Guides were almost controlling your every step so you’d always be guided towards your Highest Destiny. From your perspective down here, some things may seem unfair. But if you could’ve seen things from your Higher Self’s perspective, you’d understand how supported you are in this messy Game called A Human’s Life.

If you’ve resonated with this pile, please acknowledge you’re a very special individual. You really came to Earth to be a trailblazer of sort. You’re definitely going to be famous one way or another. And although you may be worried about certain aspects of Life right now, there’s a secret here: knowing how much of your Life is dictated by your Higher Self, do you really think you could ever fail—at anything, really?

I’d recommend you read the previous segment again with this in mind😉

PARADIGM SHIFT🔻💛

raison d’être by your Oversoul – Gold Alchemist (Roger Bacon)

manifesting with the Magic of your being – Priestess of Healing

Access full reading + cards on Patreon🌸

☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・.

Pile 3 – No-Nonsense Happy Go Lucky Attitude

VIBE: 2 Baddies & Ay-Yo by NCT 127

your untapped superpowers – Queen of Swords

Okay, I think people underestimate you because of the way you look, or that you don’t talk a lot. But you’re a quiet engine. There’s a lot going on in that pretty head of yours. You’re really intelligent, in fact, so intelligent you’re literally a weirdo for doing things differently. You know what I mean? Prof Snape, when he was a student at Hogwarts, figured out unusual-but-effective ways to brew his potions more quickly, with results that were even more potent. He was a quiet weirdo, but he was a brilliant potion master. Potion making was his interest, after all.

Do you know what your hobbies are? Are you brave enough to admit the things that light up your world? You must have pride in the pursuits that give true spiritual meaning to your Life. It’s your Life anyway. If you’re a bit shy about having strange interests, try to really understand the reasons your fears/worries/anxieties arise in the first place. Whose approval do you seek and why do you care anyway? Babe, it’s up to you what you wanna do with YOUR Life. Always remember that. On another note…

Because you’re so cute, or small, or soft-spoken, or just really patient (maybe just on the surface?), people think your head is empty. Mean people get really confident thinking they can fool you with their stupid words and stories. But quietly, you always, always see through their bullshit. One way or another, you always figure out who’s been shit talking behind your back, too. Your intellect literally cuts through the stupidity of conceited people. People would never expect such sharp intelligence to be housed in such a pretty face.

your ‘8 of Pentacles’ devotion – 10 of Cups

When you want to do well in the world, I think you really want to do it for your community. Your community could be your family, circle of friends, or the world at large, really. I think you don’t give yourself enough credit for how much you care. I think people could see you as standoffish, always doing your own thing, at your pace, can be quite lonesome, but you do care, dang, from a distance.

I think you don’t really want to be in close contact with people because you feel constantly misunderstood by them. It breaks your heart and you’re just afraid your hatred would only grow if you allowed yourself to feel that way always. So you intelligently decided to be a little closed off—it’s all your own protection as you also protect people from your nastiness (when you get upset). I think you’re really smart in that you know how to strike a balance. You just want to live in a peaceful world.

When you’re alone surrounded by only the things you like, you’re at your best. You think people should all strive to be a little selfish but happy like that. I think you could really change the world via showing people how prioritising your mental health and peace of mind leads to a better personality LOL

support for you to thrive – 3 of Pentacles Rx

You definitely need to work on your own. At least, you need to have your own thing that you can manage just by yourself. You know, the world isn’t the same as 50 years ago. Nowadays, thanks to the Internet, there are so many ‘jobs’ that can be managed alone. You can be an Internet creative in all kinds of medium. You could also be a solo small business owner. You could also be an online freelancer. You could also be an NFT miner or something.

I dunno, the possibilities for the future of ‘jobs’ are evolving constantly now and I think you’d be happy to know there are so many ways you can maintain your independence whilst avoiding dying alone and penniless. You don’t mind being alone; you just don’t wanna be penniless. And here is your confirmation that it is possible for you to live like that LMAO

Though I really think, when you’re much older you’ll eventually find your Soul Tribe and do exciting things with them. But that path will be accessible to you only after you’ve founded a solid base for yourself doing something you’re genuinely enjoying doing for the rest of your Life.

PARADIGM SHIFT🔻❤️

raison d’être by your Oversoul – Red Alchemist (John Dee)

manifesting with the Magic of your being – Priestess of Luck

Access full reading + cards on Patreon🌸

☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・.

[PAC Masterlist] [Part 1] [Part 2]

[Patreon] [Paid Readings]

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starastrologyy · 10 months

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Astrology Observations

Hi everyone! Thank you for those who subscribed to my Patreon! I really really appreciate it! My readings are still closed as I was at capacity in June. However, I plan on opening them again in August xx This will be a brief post as I’m currently working on content for my patreon (if you would like to subscribe to get access to exclusive content the link is in my bio). I will still try my best to post on heat though! Thank you again for all your support :) I started this blog a year ago not thinking anyone would even see it! I’m so grateful for you all!

I get asked a lot about Solar Returns in my asks! Though some astrologers read them as stand alone charts, I always recommend that you interpret them using your natal chart as the reference point. I will say I have seen things manifest just using the Solar Return by itself (meaning you are reading and Interpreting it as it’s own chart). However, there’s a lot more accuracy when you place the solar return planets/rising signs in your natal chart. For example, if your Solar Return rising sign is in Leo but you’re a natal Sagittarius rising. Your 9th house will be activated that year (because Leo falls into your 9th house). Thus, themes surrounding higher education, international travels, and your beliefs will likely be highlighted that year. Your solar return Sun will always be in the same sign as your natal Sun. However, it’s house position in your solar return chart will change from year to year. Another thing to remember is that because the outer planets move slowly, it’s not uncommon to have certain aspects for consecutive solar returns. For example, you may see that you have your Solar Return Pluto squaring your Natal Sun for the third year in a row. As the years go by, the intensity will decrease but you will still feel the energy of the square (even if it’s subtle) until the orb is wide enough to not apply.

Whilst I’m still on the topic of Solar Returns, when you have your Solar Return Neptune conjunct your Solar Return Ascendant, you may take more pictures that year or find that you look better in pictures during that year.

Many people travel internationally for the first time or start college when their Solar Return Sun is in the 9th house. It can also be a year in which you are really focused on your religious or philosophical beliefs.

Mars square Pluto in synastry is one of my least favorite aspects (this is especially true of the orb is exact or at 2 degrees or less). If this energy is not properly handled/channeled it can create an extremely volatile dynamic between two people.

People with their natal Pluto in the 11th house tend to attract a lot of “frenemies”. They can also have a lot of really great friends in their lifetime but on the other hand they can also experience a lot of hurt, jealousy or betrayal in their friendships. Pluto is the planet of extremes. So, both are likely to occur when you have Pluto in the 11th house of a natal chart. These people may also come into contact with a lot of influential people in their life.

This is not really an “observation” just a little note on the Venus retrograde in Leo. I know so many people have been told to believe that their relationships will end or perhaps they’ll attract a new partner during this time. However, neither is necessarily the case. Of course Venus retrograde are about revisiting our values, finances, and relationships. However, you want to see where it is occurring in your OWN personal chart to see how it will apply to you. Those with their risings signs in Aries or Aquarius are more likely to hear from an ex or an old fling at this time as it is occurring in their 5th and 7th houses. Whereas, Leo Venuses are having their Venus returns so they will arguably be the most affected by this transit as they will need to reevaluate their relationships, finances, AND their values. If you have a Leo Venus you can pull up a Venus return chart online to get more information about how you will be personally impacted. If you are a Cancer Rising, this transit will occur in your 2nd house, so things related to finances, possessions, and values will be highlighted during this transit. If you are a Leo rising you may be reconsidering your physical appearance and how you show up in the world. You may be tempted to change your appearance during this time (however drastic changes to your physical appearance are not recommended at this time). I have a full post on how each rising sign will be affected by this transit on my patreon if you are interested 🤍

#synastry #astrology tumblr #astrology blog #astrology #astrologyposts #astrology observations #astro posts #astro thoughts #astro notes #astro tips

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yurimother · 6 months

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An Update on YuriMother

As I'm sure many of you have noticed, there has been a distinct lack of my regular news coverage and articles as of late. I recently moved and started working at a new school (for those who do not know, teaching is my day job). While I love this job, it has considerably taxed my time and energy, which compounded with my strained focus and dedication that was already affecting the volume of my content, resulting in the near month-long silence.

However, I hope to recommit myself to YuriMother, as nothing in my life brings me more joy than my work with Yuri, and I want to continue celebrating the genre as I have for the past 11 years. This means resuming coverage of Yuri news stories, conducting more research, writing more reviews and articles, filming videos for TikTok, and working towards some of my personal larger goals for YuriMother.

Rather than going back and trying to cover everything I have missed over the past month, I am posting an article with a quick roundup of many major Yuri manga and light novel releases. The rest of the news slate is planned out for the week with, of course, room for any new stories that break. Additionally, I have several articles of varying scope, both for the main YuriMother website and for the Patreon exclusive "Secret Garden" line, at different stages of conceptualization and research. I look forward to drafting and editing these soon. Some are pieces that have floated around my head for over a year, and the prospect of finally putting them to page for you all to enjoy and learn from delights me.

I also created a poll on Patreon for members and the public, whether they subscribe to me or not, to decide the subject of my next review. Perhaps more than anything, I am thrilled by the prospect of actually reading Yuri again, as I practically have not consumed anything since I spent the majority of July burning through over a hundred webcomics and several times that amount in dollars because forget those free period wait times, I've got lesbians to fangirl over, for the 2023 Yuri Guide. There are so many incredible new titles and returning series sitting on my bookshelf, or more accurately, sitting in or on top of moving boxes next to my as-of-yet unassembled bookshelf, that I am thrilled to share with you.

Lastly, I want to thank you all for your continued support and patience with me during this time. I know many of you back me, and my work with your hard-earned money, a fact which persistently baffles and humbles me, and I acknowledge that I have not always lived up to my end of that relationship.

I cannot promise that I will be perfect or that there will not be times when I struggle to deliver YuriMother content, but I can at least assure you that I will try my best every day and once again express my enormous gratitude to all of you. Thank you, everyone, especially my wonderful Patrons, for your engagement, kindness, support, and love of Yuri.

Sincerely,

Nicki Bauman The Holy Mother of Yuri

As always, if you can, consider joining the YuriMother on Patreon. Patrons can check out news, reviews, and articles early, get access to exclusive content like "The Secret Garden" an series of essays all about Yuri , and help support me and my work celebrating Yuri anime and magna.

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bangtanficsforyou · 1 year

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They Reject You (Hyung Line)- Part One

Pairing: BTS x Reader

Warnings: small mentions of alcohol, there might be curse words here and there.

Genre: angst (but it's not that bad, i think?)

A/N: If you enjoy my writing and wish to support me, consider joining my patreon!

Jin

"That's cute," Jin quips.

"Huh?" You say in a questioning tone. Not understanding what exactly he is commenting on.

"The guy preparing dishes for the girl, even though he sucks like really bad at it." He replies with an amused smirk playing on his lips.

Your eyes drift back to the screen for a brief moment to see the said guy now mistaking sugar for salt.

"I mean, dude is trying, so yeah, it is cute," you agree with a nod and take another scoop out of your ice cream tub.

"If only he had my cooking skills." He boasts, leaning back slightly as his smirk turns cocky.

"You went from complimenting the lead guy to complimenting yourself, real quick." You quirk a brow at him, letting him know that you totally intend on calling him out.

"Does that surprise you?" He ask, quirking a brow of his own, in return.

A soft smile appears on your lips. "Considering that it's you, no, it really doesn't."

He nods at you to agree with your words. "Hey, but it's true though. I am a great cook and my girl would be really lucky to have me as her man."

Something about the phrase my girl rubs you off in the wrong way. Maybe it's because when he speaks it like that, your brain comes up with the image of someone faceless being all coupley with him. But that's the thing, you don't want that person to be faceless, you want it to be you.

"So you'll cook for your girlfriend?" You ask trying to keep your tone playful to hide the way your stomach is currently churning.

He looks at you as if you have asked the most ridiculous question and as if the answer to that question should be obvious. "Duh, that's like one of my top date ideas. To cook for the girl I love and wooing her with my skills."

You hum in response.

Does he ever think of you that way? Is the person faceless to him as well? Or does he have someone he likes already?

"Jin," you call out, not thinking straight and acting solely on the emotions that are coursing through your veins. Perhaps, you have had enough of bottling up these feelings and of not having a clue where you stand.

He responds with a hum before glancing away from the screen to look at you.

"I have feelings for you."

For a few moments there's only silence except for the noises from the TV and in those few moments you keep your eyes locked with his, simply because you're far too anxious to move even in the slightest. Plus, having your eyes on him allows you to notice every emotion that plays on his face.

But the longer the silence stretches, the more your heart sinks.

If you were to go by his reaction, or lack thereof, you know, that whatever words he's about to speak, will only break your heart.

Jin closes and opens his mouth a few times, searching for a reply. He just wants to say something, anything that will break this awkward silence.

"You can just be honest with me, you know?" You say, adding a light chuckle at the end, in hopes that it will make him feel comfortable enough to spit out whatever it is that he wants to say.

Thankfully, it seems to give him enough courage.

"I just, haven't ever thought about us like that and your confession caught me extremely off guard." Jin sighs. "But I'm glad you confessed, I can imagine how tiring it can get to keep your feelings to yourself. I just hope now you feel a little lighter and I really don't know what's the app–"

He is cut off by a something small hitting him right across the face. When he realises that it's a popcorn and that it's you, who has aimed it at him, he stops his rambling and looks at you with a confused frown.

"You don't have to ramble so much," you snort.

"I just don't know what to say," Jin for some reason looks disappointed with himself. "Just give me sometime?"

You shrug, pretending to be totally unbothered. "Don't worry about it. Take all the time you need."

With that you turn back towards the tv screen, and rewind the movie a little bit because you have no idea how the plot progressed in the last ten minutes. Jin takes the hint that this conversation is over, at least, for now and resumes watching the movie.

However, you can feel his eyes swiftly move to your face every now and then, just to make sure you're okay.

Any other time, you'd have appreciated it and cooed at how sweet and caring he is, but right now, you honestly hate it.

Because even though he didn't directly say it, you understood what he meant. He does not know how to turn you down.

You understood it the moment he said that that he has never thought about the two of you like 'that'. As someone who knows what falling in love feels like, you know, picturing yourself with the person you want, is something that happens automatically. It's just a part of the process.

But it never occurred to him that way because he never really found himself falling for you.

So for the next twenty minutes, you pretend to be slowly falling asleep to avoid any sort of interactions with the man sitting a few feet away.

Min Yoongi:

"You're late," that's the first thing Yoongi says when you take your seat. Rightly so, you think. Afterall, you're half an hour late and had it not been for your text you're pretty sure Yoongi would have left by now.

"I'm sorry, there was too much traffic," you lie hoping he buys it.

He nods but a part of you thinks he doesn't completely believe it, yet chooses not to question your words.

Instead he hands over the menu to you. "What would you like to order?"

"I will just have the usual, I guess," you reply not bothering to skim through the menu.

"Well then," he dings the bell, notifying the waiter that you both are ready to order.

Once the waiter has noted down both of your orders and is gone, you find yourself glancing around awkwardly to avoid his eyes.

"How was your Sunday?" His deep voice greets your ears and you mentally curse out loud.

"It was just another Sunday," you shrug, not bothering to keep up the conversation because honestly, you're scared as fuck to exceute your plan.

Okay, that sounded very spy like but it's not that serious.

Your plan is to confess to Yoongi.

Yoongi is the man you're engaged to.

The man you're engaged to because getting married to him, would be extremely beneficial to both of your father's companies. The man with whom you have gone on ten dates so far, because although, arranged, you two should get the oppurtunity to get to know each other before marriage. The man for whom you've found yourself falling, just after the third date.

When you put it like that, it does sound as intense as being a spy. Because even though the two of you have been on dates and are about to get married, Yoongi isn't someone who's emotions can be read very easily.

You don't even know if he enjoys your company or agrees to go on the dates with you just because he feels like he has to. He doesn't make you feel unwanted but that doesn't mean you feel particularly wanted either. It's somewhere in between. Which is confusing as fuck, to be honest.

But it's not like all that matters. You both are getting married eitherways, so the bare minimum you can do is to be honest about your feelings for him. That way, you'd let him know where you stand in this arrangement.

You have told yourself that just because you found yourself falling for him this quick doesn't mean he'll too. If his current feelings for you, turns out to be platonic, you'll be okay with it. But that doesn't mean that a part of you does not hope for him to reciprocate your feelings.

And it's because of your 'plan' to confess, that you were late by half an hour. You just kept pacing in your office and lost track of time.

But now that you're here sitting infront of him, and staring at him, you realise that there's no point in stalling.

"Actually, I realised something this Sunday," you say.

He quirks a brow that lets you know that you've got his attention. "What that realisation might be?"

You sigh, feeling your nerves take over. "That if we're going to get married, we should be honest with each other."

His curious expression turns into that of a confused frown. "What do you mean?"

You chew on your lower lip before taking a deep breath in hopes that it will provide you with the courage you need to just let the words out. "I like you."

Yoongi's face remains neutral but you don't miss the glimpse of surprise that flashes through his eyes. That surprise is enough to tell you that he wasn't expecting that.

He remains silent for a few moments and you let him be. Before he can speak, the waiter comes with the food which breaks the tense atmosphere.

Thanking him, you take your portion of chicken on your plate, when Yoongi starts speaking.

"Thanks for being honest with me," he says it softly and in a tone that lets you know that he means it. It also lets you know that there is a but coming. "But I guess I have been too stuck in my head to let myself relax and feel anything."

There we go.

You know you said that you'd be okay with him turning you down but now you don't feel okay at all.

It hurts.

But you guess, you should have seen it coming.

It doesn't help that from the very moment, you realised your feelings for Yoongi, your brain had been imagining you two being happily married and being in love with each other. Basically living with each other like any other couple who marry in normal circumstances.

Your hurt must have been visible on your face because as soon as Yoongi notices the effect his words have, he starts fumbling with his words.

"Look-What I mean to say–"

You chuckle, albeit a fake one, to put him at ease. "You don't have to explain yourself, it's okay."

Yoongi looks unsure but figures he doesn't know what else to say. Which is why he ends up asking, "are you sure?"

You nod and give him smile, hoping to reassure him.

As you look back at your plate, you find yourself wondering what this marriage is going to be like. It's not exactly loveless, but then that love isn't reciprocated. You find yourself panicking extremely, when you think of the both of you living together.

Fuck, what's worse is now he's aware of what you feel for him. You two would pretend to be happily married to the rest of the world and be awkward when away from the public eye.

What the fuck have you gotten yourself into.

Hoseok:

It's weird now that you have confessed to Hoseok, your dance teacher.

You know when the term "teacher" is used in a sentence like that, people usually frown. But you'd come to your defense and say, that there's nothing frown-worthy here.

You're twenty two and he's twenty six, both adults and belong to the age group where you both can make your own decisions. Plus, it isn't the usual teacher-student scenario here. Although, you and Hoseok started off with him being your teacher, gradually the two of you became friends.

Hence, it's fair to say he isn't just your teacher.

It's when you started to get to know him outside of the four walls of your classroom, that you started to fall for him. How could you not? He's a literal sunshine. A person who can light up anyone's mood and someone who's presence feels so warm and bright.

You've honestly, never met someone like him before.

You think he should have seen your confession coming but the surprised Pikachu face he made upon your decaration of love, told you that he clearly did not anticipate that.

The whole confessing thing went fine. You were scared, yes, but you did it. What isn't fine, however, is how he is yet to give you an answer.

But it was you who had asked him to take as much time as he needed and to not feel pressured. But after seven long days, you're getting antsy.

Which is why, once the class is over, you linger until everyone else is gone. Once you notice that there's no one else and just you and Hoseok, you head towards him.

You tap on his shoulders to make him aware of your presence.

He turns around and upon noticing that it's you, he gives you one of your sunshine smiles. "Hello."

"Hey," you return his smile and greet him back. "If you don't mind, can I talk to you about something?"

He nods without missing a beat and you honestly love how this isn't awkward at all. Although, by the look in his eyes, you think he has some idea what you want to say. "Did you think about what I said last week?"

Hoseok gives you a nod again, and this time his smile turns apologetic. "Yes I did and I'm so sorry for not reaching out to you any sooner."

You wave your hand in the hair dismissing his words. "Don't apologise, it's obvious that you'd need your time to gain some clarity."

"Thank you so much for being so understanding." He feels relieved to hear your words but sighs when he realises what he will have to do. "But I think I'd rather us be friends, I'm sorry."

Ouch.

You chuckle. "Again, there's nothing you have to apologise about. Thanks for letting me know."

With that you give a tiny little wave and head for the door.

"Wait, you're leaving?" He queries, not expecting you to just leave.

You smile at his question. "Although I'm like totally cool, I still need some time away to let it sink in that the guy I have been crushing on for months, just turned me down."

Hoseok feels bad when you put it like that but he knows you're right. "I get that, I'm sorry–"

"Stop apologising, will you?" You say in a light tone letting him know that there's nothing that he should be worried about and that you're definitely not upset about his rejection. When you notice that his expression has softened, you offer him one last smile before heading out.

When the warm air greets you outside, you feel a bit of melancholy. It's just your mind that wonders how beautiful it would have been had you got the opportunity to call Hoseok, yours. How lucky would you have been had you got to see the side of Hoseok that he reserves only for the special someone. How you could have easily fallen in love with him and would have cherished him.

But alas, you don't think that you'll get the chance to do any of the above.

You just hope whoever, gets to do those things with him, they cherish him and treat him right.

Namjoon:

"I have feelings for you," you slurr, the evidence of alcohol heavily present in both your breath and words.

Namjoon, the person your words are directed at, completely freezes. He blinks a few times for you to say something like sike! gotcha but when you don't, he lets out a nervous chuckle. "You're drunk, you probably don't even know what you're saying."

"Just say that you don't feel the same. Don't try to educate me about whether I'm drunk or not," you whine in complaint. "I anyway saw you making out with that girl a few minutes ago."

Namjoon's expression changes when he realises that although you're saying this in your drunken state, you very well know what you're talking about. Were you really confessing to him? Right now? At your brother's birthday party?

"Hey, c'mon we can talk about this later." He says trying to keep his voice gentle so that he doesn't sound as panicked as he feels.

"No, I need you to say it to me." You reply, voice as firm as it can be in your drunk state. "I need you to say that you don't feel the same. That would help me get over you."

At the end of it, you end up looking like a child throwing tantrum with a pout and a sad yet annoyed frown on your face.

Any other time Namjoon would have cooed at the sight but right now he's too concerned about not making a scene and gain unnecessary attention.

His eyes do a quick scan of his surrounding and when he makes sure that so far the two of you have managed to not draw attention, his eyes drift back towards you and he speaks in a hurried, hushed tone. "I don't think this is the right time to talk about this. Especially not in a room full of people."

"You're deflecting from the topic," you huff and cross your arms. "There's nothing too difficult about rejecting my confession. Just say so and we will be done."

"Can we do this later–"

"No we can't," you cut him off and stomp your feet in anger. "You don't know how much it hurts everytime you treat me as just your best friend's little sister. I know you'd never see me like that but seeing you make out with someone else was a whole different level of hurt."

Namjoon's features soften when he notices that now your features have turned that into of heartbreak.

"I understand what you're trying to say," he says his eyes now on the floor. "But still, I think that this is a conversation that should be saved for later."

You get closer to him, your eyes visibly fuming with how he refuses to take your words seriously.

"You tell me that you don't feel the same, right to my face or I'm not moving an inch from here." You grit the words through your teeth.

Namjoon sighs and you're standing so close to him, that you feel his breath hit your face. "Is that what you want?"

"Yes," you reply without missing a beat with your eyes fixed on him, refusing to move an inch. It's your drunk mind's attempt at registering everything so that you don't forget it when you wake up tomorrow. You need to remember this so that you can put a stop to this one sided pining for once and for all.

"Well then, I don't feel the same." He whispers the words so slowly and so gently, that had it not been for your undivided attention, you'd have missed it.

But you don't.

The words have you flinching even though this is very much what you had asked for. You take a few steps back and nod at him, letting him know that you're satisfied with his answer.

You don't look up at him as you leave the hall and ultimately, the party. You think you hear a voice calling your name and you think it might just be Namjoon's but you don't turn around to confirm your suspicions.

Right now, your utmost priority is to reach your apartment and let things sink in.

#BTS x Reader #BTS ff #BTS reactions #But unrequited au #BTS angst #BTS scenarios #Jin angst #Jin fluff #Best friend Jin au #Yoongi angst #Yoongi fluff #Arranged marriage au #Hoseok fluff #Hoseok angst #Dance instructor au #Namjoon angst #Namjoon fluff #Brother's best friend au

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