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#and i'm very curious to know if 3-syllable people still use 3 syllables in the construction 'he was beloved by all'

swordsmans · 11 months

Note

Hi !

I'm that anon that was gushing about finding you back on AO3 after loving "Always Gold" forever, right?

I just felt like I had to let you know, I never was a Zolu shipper, actually. Mostly, I enjoy the entire crew being completely platonic with each other.

THAT being said, you write them SO fucking well that you're basically converting me to them, but it's not the reason I follow you and stuff. Your writing is just... So good and evocative and you somehow always makes the most interesting plots, handdle them so interestingly and have the best Luffy in general.

(Somehow, a well written Luffy is always difficult to find 😭)

And I am a time-travel fics whore, you see, as well as devotions centric ones, so of course, I am basically worshipping the ground you walk on. The ships are just a bonus to me!

I cannot wait for next chapter, I am gnawing at my walls >x<

oh my god!!! hi!!! aaaahhh oh my god this is the nicest compliment, holy shit!!! aklsjdhfsdf im glad that my writing is impactful enough to break out of zolu containment (LOL) especially luffy!! i confess i am always the most worried about his characterization because his voice can be kind of hard to pin down sometimes (since we almost never see his internal monologue in canon and mostly oda just gives us, like, reaction panels) so this is like!!!! ahh!!! thank you so much!!!

like u i am a HUGE nakamaship fan and i love writing crew interactions the most so im hoping i can put together some shorter straw hat fics in the near future!! that being said... i would like to formally welcome u to my zolu corner. it is a delight to have you!!! lol

even tho it is zolu, albatross/always gold will stay very romance dawn trio/nakamaship-centric as it goes on, i promise. im glad you're looking forward to the next chapter!!! im really excited to get back into it when i finish my current project omg. it's waiting in the wings as a special little treat :3c anyway, it makes me sooo happy you like it so much. here is a little snippet of what i've already written for chapter 3 (if you want!)

---

As he watches, she plants her feet in front of Luffy, who stops—staring at her with wide, curious eyes, mouth still half-full of food. Her knuckles tint white where she has them clasped together. Zoro blinks, stunned, but Luffy must see something her expression, must pick up on something because he tilts his head at her like a kind of curious animal—and then Kuina bows.

In one formal, breathy rush, she says, “Thank you for taking care of my stupid, gross little cousin. He’s not a very good swordsman, and he gets lost easily, and he’s terrible at talking to people—so he needs someone to watch out for him.”

And Luffy laughs, throwing his head back, and Kuina’s own head whips up with a kind of stunned expression on her face.

“He is stupid! And he’s gross!” Luffy crows, and Zoro sputters. “But Nami keeps us from getting lost, and he talks to me just fine, and—didn’t you know?” he says, grinning, leaning forward again. “He’s going to be the greatest swordsman.” He stands up straight, and Kuina blinks at him, her expression faltering—then Luffy asks, eyes sharp but still smiling, “You’re the white sword, right?”

Kuina frowns, “The—”

“Wa-do I-chi-mon-ji,” Luffy enunciates, hitting each syllable like he’s practiced it over and over again. Like he’s memorized it with intention, one of the few names among hundreds that matters enough to remember. And Zoro feels a kind of nausea in the base of his throat, a bundle of emotions he doesn’t want to deal with, because he knows Luffy knows his swords, but he’s never bothered to ask if he knew them.

A Zoro watches, Kuina looks at Luffy a little warily—like maybe he’s playing some kind of trick on her. She’s still stiff-backed, not quite risen from her bow, and there’s a formality to her posture that seems so wrong directed at Luffy. Habits drilled into them both about respect, respect, respect for the people with power.

Slowly, carefully, she says, “It’s my sword.”

“No, it’s not. It’s Zoro’s sword.” Then, peering at her, he gives a decisive nod. “I’m right,” he says.

“About wha—” Kuina starts, clearly frustrated—already forgetting that Luffy is a Captain because he’s just so Luffy.

Then, without warning, he beams at her—one hand on his hat in a gesture Zoro has seen a thousand times, but that he knows—in that way he always knows what Luffy is thinking—means he’s swearing on the most precious thing in the world that what he’s saying is true. “Thank you,” he says, grinning, “for Zoro.”

And Kuina looks at him, startled. “Don’t thank me for something I didn’t do.”

Luffy tilts his head, frowning at her like he’s thinking, even though Zoro knows—can see him assessing her. “Did you know he fights with his teeth?” he says, gesturing wildly. “He puts the sword in his mouth and—that way, the only way someone can take the sword is by taking his head, too. You’re his treasure.”

“That’s so stupid,” she laughs, almost forgetting, and Luffy grins at her. “He’s so stupid.”

“And strong, and cool, and kind, and funny, and strong—”

“You already said that.”

“Because it’s true!” Luffy says like she’s stupid, and Kuina makes a face because she hates that kind of tone on deep, existential level, Zoro knows. Too many lectures synonymizing stupid with girl, even though Luffy wouldn’t know (or care) if they beat him over the head with it. Case in point, Luffy sticks his tongue out at her. “What’s that look for?” he says, frowning. “Shouldn’t you be proud? You made him that way.”

And deeply, intrinsically, inexplicably Zoro feels like something’s lodged in his throat even though he hasn’t even touched his food—

—but Luffy looks up, then, and catches his eye, and his Captain absolutely lights up as he scrambles over, already moving on from Kuina and whatever that was—leaving a blinking, bewildered little girl behind in the grass.

#answers #uhh technically #libreoffice says its 676 words but who knows lol #NO PRESSURE TO READ IT IF UR SOMEONE WHO LIKES TO WAIT BTW!!!!#gyro.odt

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shiranuieditorial · 2 years

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Alrighty, a question! Don't exactly even need to know, but I'm curious. Which japanese names are used gender neutral? I have heard of a few, like Tsubaki, Akira, Minato and so on, but a list would be nice. On another note, Erika is a japanese name as well as german, right? Like Yuka is both an Inuit and japanese name x3 I do find it funny that complete different ends of the world could have such small things in common.

gender expressions & impressions of jp given names depend on: (1) the precise characters it comprises of, (2) the reading it uses, (3) societal trends and sentiments, and (4) each individual’s personal perception (and experience) of gender and the name. therefore, sooooo many names out there can be considered unisex and/or gender-neutral! there are hundreds of thousands of possible character combinations you can use to create given names, and what’s more to love is that unisex and gender-neutral names are pretty sought-after, especially in the modern day and the foreseeable future. we love our unisex names and we’re very proud of them!

if there’s any specific theme of names you’d like to see, you can send in an ask with your criterias and i’ll compile you a list. besides my gdoc of rare and unusual jp given names i shared in my previous post, i also have this gdoc of generic/basic/average jp given names you can sort through if you’d like.

indeed, erika and yuka are names that can exist in the jp language. maybe this tip will help with remembering and identification? you can make given names out of almost any set of syllables from the japanese syllabary, as long as it’s within reason (e.g. sounds good as a name, seems logical or plausible, 1–5 syllables in one name, etc.).

(apologies for the deep-fried quality haha—this is the only kana-to-romaji chart i have ever saved, because i prefer linguistic charts to be as plain-colored, plain-fonted, and plain-formatted as possible.)

for clan/family names however, the rules aren’t as lax because most of them follow kanji and the most standard readings for said kanji. a small % of family names have a mix of kanji + kana in them, which still follow the standard readings of the kanji + of course the unchangeable readings of the kana. only very few (native, non-transcribed) family names out there are entirely written in kana (a real-life example of this is つわぶき峻 Tsuwabuki Toshi, the stage actor who played sakusa in the haikyuu stageplay). oh, and, because we can never have too many exceptions, jp culture also has this very unique occurrence where sometimes, some certain family names get to be as lax as given names in terms of the grapheme-to-phoneme relation, and some people have decided use this opportunity to be very punny wordplayers. these are very few in number, however, and they have history behind them! so i wouldn’t recommend the average writer/artist/fictionist to come up with some on their own. examples of this last one:

一 Ninomae | 一 means “one” | “ninomae” sounds like you’re saying 二の前, “before two”

小鳥遊 Takanashi | 小鳥遊 means “small birds play” | “takanashi” sounds like you’re saying 鷹無し, “there are no hawks/eagles” | ergo, small birds play outside because there’s no hawk preying around.

四月朔日/四月一日/四月朔/四月朔月 Watanuki | 四月朔日/四月一日 means “first of april” | “watanuki” refers to this word 綿抜き, “cotton-stripping; to take out the cotton [padding]” | there’s an old tradition of changing winter-wear cotton-lined warming robes and kimono into lighter summer-wear garments in the 1st day of the 4th lunar month, which is said to prevent children from suffering diseases and potentially dying. i’m a bit confused at what the big deal is with this tradition, because it just seems like common sense to me? seasons change and so do your clothes. that’s normal.

月見里 Yamanashi | 月見里 means “moon-viewing village” | “yamanashi” sounds like you’re saying 山無し, “there are no mountains” | ergo, you can see the moon and do some stargazing if your view isn’t obstructed by mountains. although, i have to point out the fallacy in this logic, as someone who lives surrounded by 3 whole mountain ranges, i know fully well that mountains only obscure a very small % to none at all of your ground view of the night sky. “starless” nights are all the clouds and pollution’s fault! so really, this name should’ve been called Kumonashi (from 雲無し, “cloudless”) instead.

i could’ve sworn i knew more than 4 of these punny family names...

(edit: i found more!)

飛鳥 Asuka | 飛鳥 means “flying bird” | “asuka” refers to the place name 明日香 (“tomorrow fragrance”) | basically, what happened here is that the word 飛鳥 (hichou), coming from the phrase 飛ぶ鳥の (tobu tori no, “flying bird of...”), became a pillow word for the place known as Asuka. both spellings were historically interchangeable.

春日 Haruma, Kasuga, Kasuka | 春日 means “spring sun; spring day” | the word 春日 (shunjitsu/haruhi) was used as a pillow word to introduce the place name Kasuga (which presumably had no kanji writing prior to this?). existing logical readings for 春日 include Haruhi and Haruka.

漢 Hata | 漢 means “han chinese”, the worldwide major ethnic group originating in china | “hata” sounds like you’re saying はた/端, “nearby; besides”

日向 Higa, Higano, Hina, Hinada, Hinata, Hiuga (Fiuga), Hyuga, Hyuuga | 日向 means “in the sun; [facing] towards the sun” | (1) for the Hinata reading; this name is composed of 日 (hi, “sun”) +‎ な (na, old japanese possessive particle, equivalent to modern の) +‎ た (ta, “direction; side”, archaic equivalent of 方). (2) for the Fiuga, Hiuga, and Hyuuga readings; dialectal differences shifted old japanese reading “Pimuka” into “Fimuka” → “Fiuga” → “Hiuga”. southern dialects and languages tend to have this fi- sound that’s nonexistent up in the north. (3) Hiruga may be explained as 「昼日」 (hiru + ka, “daytime sun”) with a rendaku 日 (turning the “-ka” into “-ga”, which is unnecessary, because rendaku doesn’t commonly happen to 日, but everything is full of exceptions today, so... 🤷). existing logical readings of 日向 include Hikou, Himuka, Himukai, Himuki, and Nikkou.

陽向 Hizashi | 陽向 means “in the sun; [facing] towards the sun” | “hizashi” sounds like you’re saying 日差し (may also be written 陽差し、日射し、陽射し、日ざし、陽ざし、日差、or 陽射), “sunlight; sunshine; sun rays”

五十嵐 Igarashi | 五十嵐 means “fifty storms/tempests” | “igarashi” sounds like you’re saying 伊賀嵐, “iga [city] storm” | i believe this may be a reference to the huge storm in 1612 which destroyed the famous iga-ueno castle.

五月雨 Samidare | 五月雨 means “fifth [lunar] month rain”, referring to the heavy rains that occur around early summer | “samidare” sounds like you’re saying 早水垂れ, “early rain fall” | this is a word (for the seasonal occurrence), a place name, and a destroyer name; not family name. i just thought it was cool enough to mention here!

時雨 Shigure | 時雨 means “timely rain; winter rainfall” (originally referred to rainshowers in late autumn to early winter, occasionally late summer and all of autumn too, but today, shigure only refers to a winter rainshower) | “shigure” sounds like you’re saying the classical/literary verb 時雨れる, “to rain a shower” | the history is a bit blurry on this one. 時雨, as a word, was an orthographic borrowing from chinese. it happened a hefty long time ago, and was incorporated into old japanese as the classical verb 時雨る (shiguru), which was later given the modern rendering 時雨れる (shigureru), which then presumably became the clan name Shigure.

日本 Yamatono | 日本 means “base/foundation/origin of the sun” and is the modern name for japan | “yamatono” sounds like you’re saying 大和の, “of the yamato people’s” | 大和 (yamato) was the ancient name for japan before it was changed to 日本 (nihon/nippon), and also the name of an ancient province, the name of the current dynasty (and consequently, the imperial family as well), the name of an old battleship, and is sometimes still used to refer to japanese people in a historic way. it’s worth noting that the reading of “yamato” itself isn’t grammatically logical for the kanji 大和. my best theories as to how 大和 became yamato are: (1) homophone of 山都 (“mountain metropolis”), (2) homophone of 山門 (“mountain gateway”), and (3) homophone of 山人 (“mountain people”); but i haven’t seen any proper, in-depth linguistic study done on this, so i can’t guarantee anything. the kanji 倭 [yamato, shitaga.u | wa, i] was likely based on 大和 after it got its “yamato” reading, so 倭 isn’t an important factor in this discussion (as of right now, at least).

hope this answers your curiosity!

#japanese names #japanese language #japanese linguistics #japanese culture #japanese family names #names #given names #family names #sino family names #sinitic names #sinosphere #onomastics #unisex & gender-neutral #japanese wordplays #japanese puns #gdoc links #skipper answers #rlppl: iced baby

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marssmellow · 8 months

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I wanna share a bit of a life story to explain WHY I feel I am gonna crush this academic year and I'm finally gonna be the top of my class. Pay attention folks, because this is probably gonna be a once in a lifetime show. I am not usually that comfortable sharing my life story online — I also don't want to share anything because I really don't like the Internet BUT my journal is far away and I am too lazy to pick it up so I am writing here instead (I am, in fact, lying to you. My journal is in the bedside table next to my head right now. I am just too lazy at the moment). Btw I feel like this is a story worth knowing about me as a person that all of you, little people who follow this blog + my three (3) real life friends simply must know to understand me. So fasten your seatbelts, we are going down memory lane together.

(tw: mention of sexual assault)

So, when I was in elementary school I was your typical golden child. I was so good in all of the classes and I always got the best marks. Of course, you are thinking "Whaaat, elementary school is not hard??" You'd be surprised. For some reason, elementary schools in Italy are hard. We learn, of course, all the basics, like the alphabet and how to add numbers and all that shit, but we also learn stuff that your typical 6-year-old wouldn't, like rhyming schemes and syllable patterns, chemical reactions, a bit of algebra, the idea of historical process, English and all that stuff (disclaimer: I do not know if this was the case just for my school or my teachers. I just know that we didn't limit ourselves to the alphabets and the names of colours). Apart from a general difficulty in math (probably caused by an undiagnosed dyscalculia) I was very good. However, I had a competitor. My best friend ALSO wanted to be the best in my class. The only difference between us was that, while I was effortlessly talented (I am saying this with every ounce of humility in my body), she tried really hard. I learned this after a long time, but she had very strict parents that used to treat her very badly if she didn't get the highest mark in a test. She went as far as to complain to the teacher if I got a higher grade that hers in tests. And here's the kicker: she would take it out on me. She used to make me feel bad because I got the full mark while she didn't. Of course, it wasn't my fault, but my little brain did not know that and I remember feeling anxious every time the teacher would give us the result of a test because I wanted to know how HER test went. You can well imagine the effect this had on me. I started doubting myself and blaming myself for other people's results. Maybe that's why I want to be a professor now, or maybe it has nothing to do with that. We will never know. The point is that I started to seriously think that she was better than me because she put all this crazy effort into her test while I just...winged them. I seriously did not study that much. I found the tests easy. That's probably something to do with the fact that I was genuinely curious about the subjects and I absorbed the information like a sponge. Anyway, that was the first thing on my path.

In middle school I was heavily bullied and I even was abused by one of these classmates that thought it was funny to grab on my body (yes, I do have a nice set of boobs) whenever he thought convenient. If that guy is reading this, which I highly doubt, go fuck yourself. Anyway, those were the worst years of my life, let me tell you. I was even bullied by a teacher. This teacher used to be my brother's math teacher 13 years back, and he thought it was extremely funny to constantly remind me how my brother was so much better than me. Once again, nobody ever thought that my struggle with math was probably a product of an undiagnosed dyscalculia, but here I was. Bullied by my math teacher. Around this time, I still had competition in the classroom. Another of my classmates competed with me for the highest grades. But let me tell you. She was so beautiful. It was around this time that I should have started realizing that I probably liked girls because I now realize I had the biggest crush on her. I really didn't care if she was better than me, because she was beautiful, and she was cool and she was dating the boss of the bullies. The class used to hate on me every time I said in class that I loved a book, or every time I would answer a question, or that I would get a nice grade. I remember this classmate of mine that almost beat me up because I got a higher grade than him in technical art — because he wanted to be an architect but I was the top of the class. It was horrible. Those three years taught me to keep my interests to myself to not be hated. It made me hate all those things that made me happy. So I gradually convinced myself that the things I enjoyed...I was the only one enjoying them. Those things were mine and mine alone and nobody would ever understand me. I felt alone. Misunderstood. Hopeless, even. Because the things I liked I couldn't pursue.

This is why I chose a high school with a scientific path. Because my brother is an engineer and all my mother could say was how you couldn't live off of books. So I chose physics, chemistry, math and science in general. Because my family said those are the only things that matter. Because literature, and art, and history and philosophy will leave me jobless. Do you remember the undiagnosed dyscalculia? Yes, it wasn't funny. I failed pretty much all of my math tests. Physics I could pull off. I could decently pass chemistry and biology because it was mainly words and not a lot of numbers. But let me tell you — I was happy. My teachers were AMAZING. My math teacher, he is the nicest man in the world (he is also a feminist and an anarchist and I lost myself in conversations about the patriarchy with him a lot of times. He was very funny too. He is so intelligent, he probably could have guessed I had an undiagnosed dyscalculia but I forgive him for that). And my classmates were cool. They didn't bully me. We soon enough recognized that we were there for the same reason — we were all nerds in something. I was, of course, the nerd in humanities. The only incident I can report happened in the third year, when some of my classmates basically ambushed me and forced me to come out as an asexual bisexual (at the time I thought I was bi. Now I know that I was a lesbian in denial). I never forgave them because I used to trust them. But for the rest, things went smoothly. But where is the problem? Well, for four years I was forced to study things I didn't really enjoy. I was terrible. My grades sucked. I was good in Italian, in history and English and art and philosophy, but the key courses? Let's not even mention them. It was a disaster. I lost all of my confidence and all of my passion.

Which is why I decided to study Languages in uni. I wanted out of the scientific world. Back to humanities I go! It was not easy. My study methods were all calibrated to study and learn and memorize scientific stuff. I remember that I passed my Philology exam because I studied the High German consonant shift using my geometry method. I LOVED these past three years of uni. I don't think I was ever this happy. I finally was able to study something I liked, free of judgment (my family, by this point, recognized that my talents lied somewhere else, and not in chemistry or maths) and free of competition. I could be myself. Freedom.

But. There's always one, right? But this was not true freedom. I was still studying things I didn't really like. Like Spanish, for example. I had to choose a second language and Spanish was the easiest course — or so I was told, because let's be honest, that course was NOT easy, even as an Italian native speaker. Everyone that tells you that Spanish and Italian are similar is LYING. Anyway, you can well imagine how a person that lived through what I experienced can feel about studying stuff you don't like. It felt constraining.

During the past two years, I got very lucky. I found myself a partner that loves me for who I am. Friends that support me and love me and make me laugh and are there for me, and that are genuinely interested in my interests. Friends that root for me, even. My family did a complete 360 and now supports me and my plans for the future. I found a professor that not only accepted to be my supervisor but that goes on and beyond to help me in my career. I feel like I'm on top of the world.

Around two years ago, I realized which Master's I wanted to take. It's in the same university, my supervisor is one of the teachers. This means at least another year with my friends and my partner in the city I love, doing the things I enjoy the most. So, these last two years have felt like...a rite of passage. Like something I had to do in order to get to my Master's. Which can be a great motivator, but it can also transform everything that you do into a chore. I lacked intrinsic motivation. All of my motivation was external. "I have to take this Spanish exam so I can graduate and get to my Master's". That's what I thought for pretty much every single one of my exams. I am not gonna lie, if this is your mindset then studying becomes boring. That's what happened to me, I lost most of my motivation to study and do good. I wasn't studying for the sake of learning, I was studying to get a decent mark on the exam and get accepted in my Master's. It was not pretty. It got me pretty anxious too.

But now? Now everything is changing. I no longer have that kind of motivation. The classes I had to take "for the sake of the grade" are no longer there. All the classes of the next two years are interesting, fun, and motivating. Every single one of them will teach me something for my future career AND are genuinely interesting. Which means that, this time around, I have both internal AND external motivation.

Which is what brings me back to my main point. I feel, I KNOW I will crush this academic year. I have the potential to be at the top of my class again. I know I shouldn't brag (but damn I amaze and astonish, as Hamilton would say) but I really feel this way. My mindset shifted during these summer months and I cannot wait to test this new life philosophy. I really can't wait for this new, big adventure, and to see where it will take me. I hope it's somewhere bright and beautiful. I had enough of the darkness.

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let-them-read-fics · 3 years

Text

Blackpink Reaction To Their S/O Struggling W/ Drug Addiction

Warnings / Misc. -- ⚠️ Sensitive Topic ⚠️, Hurt/Comfort, Fluff

A/N: Hey everyone! This request covers a sensitive topic that I haven't been personally exposed to, but I hope that I do it justice. I did my best to handle it with care and be as realistic as possible. Let me know what you think!

PS -- I didn't specifically name any substances or describe them in too much detail; I wanted to leave you room to picture whatever you had in mind, especially if you happen to be struggling irl.

👩 Also, I wrote this as Fem!Reader because nothing was specified. I hope that's alright, anon! Thank you for your patience :)

♡ Happy Reading ♡

🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤

Jisoo

Discovered it after a few weeks of dating

She's amazing at reading people, so she had sensed that you were struggling with something; she just didn't know what.

She wanted to wait for you to tell her about whatever it was, but one fateful day she witnessed something that explained it all.

It wasn't meant to happen; she wasn't meant to see you like this. But, as fate would have it, Jisoo stumbled across something she never saw coming.

Her footsteps grow louder as she walks her way through the house, peeking her head into various rooms in search of you. The two of you invited some of your mutual friends over, and they've all been curious as to where you slipped away to earlier.

"Baby, are you in here? Everyone's wonder--"

The sound of the latch clicking out of place makes your heart drop and sets you into motion. Before you have enough time to fully react, though, Jisoo opens the bathroom door to find you sitting on the ground, attempting to shove a foreign substance into a plastic baggy.

Your hands make quick work of moving it out of view and sitting up on your knees, but she picks up on what's going on. Her eyes land on the material as you shift it behind your body, looking up at her with wide eyes.

"Jisoo--" Tears are already beginning to work their way into your eyes, slightly blurring your vision. Too many people have walked out on you after witnessing this, and the thought that she might go too is overwhelming.

She keeps her tone level as she steps into the room and quietly shuts the door behind herself. "Y/N, please explain yourself."

"I-I'm sorry Jisoo, I should've told you sooner." You shakily say, bringing a hand up to swipe away the few tears that've already leaked out. It's not usually like you to get so emotional so quickly, but seeing the pained look on her face is reason enough.

"Come here," she utters, plopping down next to you and pulling you up against her body as she leans back on the side of the tub. Her fingers rub soothing circles on your back while you rest your head on her shoulder, lightly dampening the material of her shirt with your tears. "I'm not mad at you for this, but I need you to tell me about it. I want to help you, my love. I can't watch you hurt yourself like this."

"Okay. Just promise you won't go," you softly say, the syllables of your words breaking here and there from the raw emotion you feel.

"I'm not going anywhere, Y/N." She presses a light kiss to your temple for reassurance, and her heart breaks when she feels your hands grip at her clothes out of habit. How many times have people told you that and still left you in your time of need? She cradles you in her arms, realizing just how fragile you are in your current state, and tells you to take your time.

With a steadying breath, you begin to explain your struggles.

Road To Recovery

Constant check-ins

"Hey honey, we're at the studio now. Are you taking care of yourself for me?"

Helps you deal with the symptoms of withdrawal when they hit

Focuses on distraction and redirection as ways to help you cope

If you're at a party and feel tempted after seeing someone use, she leads you away to distract you from the urge

Helps you find safe alternatives

Celebrates the little victories

"Yes, Y/N, 4 and a half weeks clean is plenty reason to celebrate. Now mark it on the calendar and get over here so I can put this hat on you."

Playdates at your local dog café to keep your mind occupied (and bringing Dalgomie so he can make new friends, of course)

Takes you indoor skydiving. She wanted to find a way to give you an adrenaline rush while still being able to participate with you, so that was a happy medium. She battled her fear of heights to do that with you.

Not letting you lose hope if you relapse

"You're not a burden, and I'm not letting you give up on yourself. Not after all the progress you've made. I believe in you."

Accompanying you to rehab and recovery meetings, if you want her to

Bringing you your favorite snacks and candies when she picks you up

"I got you a little something," she smiles, leaning over the center console of the car to kiss your cheek. "You deserve a treat, baby."

Whenever you decide to tell everyone about your struggles and recovery journey, she's right next to you for support

Spends all the time she can with you

Early on, she would get really worried when you missed her calls or took a while to respond, but eventually she got over her fears to some degree

Still checks up on you when she's away for work

"Sorry for missing your call, Chu. Dalgom tried to kill me when I was giving him a bath and I couldn't get to the phone in time."

Overall, just a very proud girlfriend who sticks by you no matter what

After You've Recovered

Annual "recovery party" to commemorate your sobriety

Sometimes you invite the girls and your other friends, and sometimes you prefer to just spend the day at home with Jisoo

"Look at how far you've come, my love. I'm so proud of you."

♡♡♡♡♡

Jennie

She would be the only one who figured it out on her own. She picked up on the signs fairly quickly and always subtly helped steer you away from any potentially tempting situations

If you two watched a movie that happened to have a triggering scene in it, she always noticed how you'd look away and subconsciously tense up a bit

"Hey, babe. This movie's kinda boring; why don't we watch that new Netflix documentary instead?"

If the two of you were invited to parties that were likely to have a bunch of alcohol and drugs, sometimes she'd try to suggest staying in or doing something else instead

You eventually caught on to her diversion attempts, and sat down with her to have a talk.

"How long have you known?" You ask, pulling your legs up towards your chest as you sit back against the headboard of your California King.

"A few weeks," she starts, running a brush through her hair until it's untangled. Her damp locks stick to her shoulders as she approaches you, some strips slightly drier than others. "Were you ever gonna tell me?" She inquires softly, facing you as she sits down beside you on the bed.

"Of course, Jen. I'm sorry that I didn't tell you sooner, I just… I was on my own with it before you. I didn't have anyone to turn to because everyone left once they found out." Your confession makes her chest ache -- it's a physical, honest pain that she feels as she imagines you battling such an unforgiving foe with no one in your corner. She places a warm hand on your thigh to comfort you, knowing just how much her touch helps when you're upset. "Hey, it's okay. There's no point in worrying about that now. I know it's hard to open up, babe, so thank you for doing this. I'm here to listen, alright?"

"Thank you, Jennie. I don't know what I'd do without you."

"You'll never have to know, either, because I'm staying right here."

"I love you," you whisper, leaning forward to press a kiss to her lips.

"I love you, too," she sighs against you, preparing herself for the emotional night you're about to have. For now, she takes a moment to just pull you into her arms and rest her forehead against yours, finding comfort in your steady heartbeat.

"We'll start whenever you're ready."

Road To Recovery

Makes various arrangements to ensure that the media won't know of your struggles

Keeps things on lock, especially if you decide to remain private on the matter and not tell the world

If you make a public statement about it, she still does everything she can to keep you protected from the negativity. She knows first hand how tough it can be to deal with, so she never lets you face it alone

You both help each other work through things

"You're my rock, Y/N/N."

"And you're my world, Jen."

Takes care of you during bouts of withdrawal

Sings to you to calm you down and help you relax

Takes you to theme parks and rides all the big coasters with you so you can get a similar high that you did from the drugs. She gets to be clingy with you and spend the day having fun, so she doesn't mind it, and you enjoy it just the same.

Suggests fun activities for you to do together

"We should visit that pottery place tomorrow! I've heard a lot of good things about it."

You stick close together when you're in public, especially when paparazzi are near

Your presence helps with her anxiety, and you hold her close and tell jokes to keep her attention off of it

Random surprise celebrations waiting for you when you get home

"Hey Jen, I'm home." You announce, shrugging your coat off before hanging it up on the metal rack next to the front door.

"In here," she calls from the kitchen, effectively pulling you in with that sweet voice of hers. When you reach the doorway and peek in, a dumbstruck smile slowly parts your lips as you see the set up she constructed.

"Happy 3 Weeks" a multicolored banner reads, displaying the phrase above your dining room table where Jennie sits. "Surprise, honey," she says softly, glancing down at the cake she made for you as she scoots it closer. You approach the table and examine it, practically feeling your heart grow 10 sizes from the love you hold for your girlfriend.

"Is this why you left practice early?"

"Mhm," she nods, kissing your cheek before she reaches into a small gift bag next to her chair. "I'm so proud of you," she grins, sliding a thin, glittery headband into your hair. It has two springs attached to the top that bounce in every direction possible, surely making you look like a dork.

"God, I love you."

"You'd better keep that same energy after trying the cake. I think I might've added too much baking soda…"

You shake your head and pull her in, pressing kiss after kiss to her lips until she's grinning just as hard as you.

Going on adventures with Kuma and Kai

Especially to dog parks and other national parks

Helps you fill things out for rehab and doesn't let you get too stressed about it

Helps you regain confidence in yourself if you relapse

"This isn't the end, Y/N. You're strong, I know you can beat this."

Is right next to you through it all

After You've Recovered

Go on an annual vacation to get away from everything and celebrate your sobriety. You take the opportunity to escape the media and reconnect with each other

"Where to this year, Y/N? Bora Bora, maybe?"

Intimate celebration between the two of you on vacation, and then the girls throw you a party when you come back

♡♡♡♡♡

Rosé

You were really good at hiding your secret from people -- especially those that you care about most. You're always afraid that once they find out, they'll pack up and leave.

Rosé was one of the first to actually stay

She had been fairly oblivious to your struggles since you masked that side of yourself well, but one day the two of you attended a little get-together at your old friend's house, and your dirty laundry was aired.

"Bro, come on, let's play Truth or Dare!" One of your old friends says, perking up at the fact that he remembered the game even existed. He's already a little tipsy, but so are some of the others.

"I don't know, dude," you hesitantly start, missing the way that Rosé curiously raises a brow beside you.

"Come on, we'll keep it tame." Another person adds from the couch opposite you, their voice low. You recognize her as Cho, a sort of frenemy from your high school years. Something doesn't sit right for you with the hint of mischief that shines in her eyes, but your friends' pleas eventually push the feeling away and you relent.

"Fine, but if Austin gets dared to do some dumb shit like last time I'm dropping out."

"Like what?"

"Like what?" You ask back, disbelief evident in your voice. "Are you forgetting the fact that I had to bail you out after you got arrested for streaking down the neighborhood?"

"Okay, fair point," Austin holds his hands up in surrender. "Just a few rounds."

As everyone's once boisterous laughter finally dies down into quiet chuckles, you turn to Rosé for a quick kiss. She reciprocates and holds you there for a few more seconds, loving the way your lips feel against her own. As you brush your nose against hers and garner a sweet giggle from her, Cho interrupts the moment with a phrase that makes your blood run cold.

"So, Rosé, has Y/N told you about the time she got arrested for drug possession? Word on the street is that she still can't shake her old habit..."

Rosie feels the way you tense up at the question and pull away from her, cringing at the exposure you just received. The room goes silent, enabling a pen to be heard if it were dropped.

"Hey," Austin goes to defend you, about to yell at her for bringing up such a difficult topic.

"It's fine, Austin," you say, sticking your hand out in front of him to keep him from approaching her. The last thing you want right now is a screaming match about your struggles.

Rosie finally speaks up after what feels like an eternity, turning to Cho to say, "No, but that's none of your business. And I strongly advise that you don't speak on her name like that again." She cuts her eyes at the other girl, sending an icy glare at her to show that she's serious before giving her attention to you again.

When a few tense moments pass with no one really saying anything, Jackson, the host, speaks up. "I think you need to go, Cho."

"Ah, what a shame. The fun was just starting," she mockingly pouts, stopping next to you on her way out the door. Rosé strokes the back of your hand to soothe you, tracing mindless patterns with her thumb until your shoulders relax and you look into her eyes. With Cho now gone, your friends decide to go out into the backyard and give the two of you some time to clear things up.

"So, I guess we should talk." You start, pulling your legs up onto the couch to sit criss-cross. She studies the way that you begin to nervously fidget and drop eye contact, and the sight breaks her heart.

"Your past is your past, Y/N, and I won't ever judge you for it. I wish she wouldn't have brought it up like that -- I really wish she didn't," she says, emphasizing the word to remind you of how upset she is with Cho, "But I can tell that you're still struggling. I want to help you get better, and I'll be here with you every step of the way, babe. You mean the world to me." She smiles sadly, trying not to think of how much it would hurt to lose you.

"Okay," you breathe out, accepting the honest help that she's extending to you. You've been burned and lied to in the past, but you trust Rosé to stay true to her word and assist you on the hard journey laid out before you. "Let's start from the beginning," you say, preparing yourself to retell your struggles from the moment they began all those years ago.

Road To Recovery

Takes care of you when withdrawal hits hard

Isn't afraid to take the day off if it's bad enough and she needs to

"Hey, Teddy. Tell everyone that I'll be staying home today, okay? I've already let the girls know, too."

Reassurance to the max

"You're doing amazing."

Is your shoulder to cry on when times get tough

On a weekend trip, the two of you snuck away to the beach to go cliff diving. It was a thrilling experience, and you'll always remember that day with her

Helps you find healthier alternatives to your addiction that can make the transition easier until you fully recover

"Baby, look at this." She says, repositioning her laptop so that you can see what she's looking at. The two of you are sitting on the bed, and her legs are stretched out over yours. "These herbs are safe to smoke and they can help with a lot of your troubles. These over here," she says, pointing to a section of the screen, "help with stress and anxiety. They make it easier to relax." You nod, logging the information in your brain as you run a hand over her smooth skin to keep yourself calm. It's a habit that both of you love. "Thank you, Rosie. Nobody's ever done anything like this for me." You say, keeping your head down as you remember all the people that have left you behind in your time of need.

"You'd do the same for me, and I'm happy to be here for you." She declares, holding one of your hands within both of her own. She cradles it delicately, just like she does your heart. "I'll do whatever it takes to make you feel my love. I'm not going anywhere, babe." She leans in, connecting your lips in a sweet kiss.

Keeps your spirits up if you relapse

"You're not a failure, Y/N/N. This is just a setback, and we're going to get through it together."

One of her friends told her about a fun art class that's supposed to help people in recovery let go of some of their resentment and negative feelings, so she brought it up and you agreed to go

It was structured in two parts:

Part 1: Everyone went out to an old car lot that had various old vehicles, electronics, and other things to smash up. Once you let loose and relieved some of your tension, you collected scraps of the things you destroyed.

Part 2: With the scraps you brought back, you were told to create any type of artwork you wanted -- whatever felt right. Collage, graffiti, scrapbook, etc. At the end of the class, you were informed of the driving message behind it: Though the negative feelings and aversions you dealt with in the past may have left you feeling broken, you never really were -- you've always had the power to piece yourself back together and continue on.

After You've Recovered

Taking a month off work every year to travel and experience new things together. Usually consists of going to another city (or even country) and exploring their art museums and other artistics outlets

The new experiences help remind you off all the reasons you want to stay sober, and they help her have new material for her songs

Lots of pictures and drawings to remember all of your adventures

Collect trinkets to hang up / display, especially around the holidays

The girls have a special celebration waiting for you when you return

♡♡♡♡♡

Lisa

She could tell something was wrong when your behavior started to change over the course of a couple weeks

She suspected other things, but after finding a substance in your bag while on a vacation trip, she was blind sided by the reality of the situation

"Hey Lis, have you seen my swimsuit?" You casually ask, strolling into your hotel bedroom in search of the item. "I thought I left it--"

Your words catch harshly in your throat, nearly making you choke from how quickly you cut yourself off. She's sitting on the edge of the bed with the baggy in her hands, and tears brim in her eyes.

"Fuck," you wince, closing your eyes as you put your face in your hands. "You weren't supposed to find out like this."

"Why didn't you tell me?" She asks, staring straight ahead, though her eyes don't focus on anything in particular. Knowing you hurt her is bad enough, but seeing her like this makes the pain even more evident.

"I was going to, I promise. But I've been trying to wean myself off of it," you begin to explain, slowly walking across the room until you're in front of her. You squat down and put your hands on her thighs, staying quiet until she meets your gaze. "I've tried to quit cold turkey in the past but it didn't go down well. I figured I could handle this on my own and not get you involved."

"Baby, I want to be involved. You've been different lately, and having you shut me out didn't help ease my fears. I want to be a part of this, okay? You can turn to me when you feel alone," she says through the occasional tears that roll down her cheeks, "It's my job to help you and keep you safe. So let me," she crouches down next to you as she says the last part, wrapping her arms around you when she notices your lip tremble. "I'm not gonna let this get between us," she says against your shoulder, reminding you of how strong her love for you is.

"I'm sorry I waited so long," your words are muffled against her shirt, but she can hear how the emotion in them changes your voice slightly.

"We have to start somewhere, and this is just as good a time as any. I'm right here, Y/N/N."

Road To Recovery

Sweet texts and reminders throughout the day

"Hey baby, have you eaten today? The girls and I miss you like crazy."

"Don't forget about your check-up tomorrow. I already told my manager that I'll be taking the day off, so I'm all yours 😉"

"*image attachment* Question: Do you think Lego would look cute in this or do you think Lego would look cute in this? Because he WOULD."

Stargazing trips to talk about how far you've come

Making treats for the cats together if you have a bad day

Sometimes your withdrawal leaves you with weird cravings, but she never hesitates to race to the store at any hour and snatch up your favorite treats

Learning how to cook together to keep you occupied and give you a hobby (plus she's always wanted to get better at it)

“If you fling that at me, I swear to God I'll--”

"Oops!"

"LISA!"

Day trips to random parks and open locations to have little photoshoots when she has free days

Once took you bungee jumping for the experience and adrenaline rush

Bringing you into the studio if you're having a hard time and don't want to be alone

Always listens to you and shows how much she cares

Opts out of events if she suspects that drugs will be there to tempt you (considering you're always her plus one)

You still send her to enjoy herself at the events without you sometimes, though it does take a lot to convince her to leave you at home

"Okay, okay! But we're binging that new show when I get back."

Makes you laugh often and cheers you up when you need it most

She's your sunshine

After You've Recovered

Considering that you're her muse and she's the artist that she is, she hatched a plan early on to document your journey to recovery

"One more, babe. Just like that." She instructs, holding the camera up to her eye one final time. "Perfect."

"Alright, close your eyes and turn around." She commands while returning to the coffee table that sits in the middle of your living room. Her hands make quick work of putting the finishing touches on her gift for you while you patiently sway and hum to whatever song is stuck in your head at the moment.

"Annnnnd done!" She shouts, approaching you with a wide smile tugging at her lips as she holds the book out in front of herself. "It's a photo album. I started it the day you told me you wanted to try and get better," she says, smiling softly as she slowly walks you through the beginning pages of the book. "I thought it would be nice to see how far you've come," her eyes remain glued to the pictures she took as she continues flipping, and she fails to realize that you're staring at her now.

"I'm so in love with you. I can't thank you enough, Lis. This is beautiful." You shake your head in quiet disbelief, genuinely surprised that someone would work so hard on something for you. It shouldn't be a surprise with her though, considering how much she loves you, but it still baffles you sometimes.

"This gift only shows a fraction of my love for you, but I'm happy you like it. This is nothing, baby; there's so much more where this came from. Thank you for letting me in." She captures your lips in a meaningful kiss, and finds it hard to pull away. You seem to be her drug of choice, but neither of you care to end that sweet addiction.

Annual trips to photoshoots and fashion shows

Being her favorite model (seriously, she could look at you for hours on end)

Always feeling so loved and cherished, no matter what the two of you are doing

230 notes · View notes

deobis · 5 years

Note

i'm not trying to clown you or anything, but i'm just genuinely curious as to why you bias sunwoo now? like what do you love about him and all? if i'm not mistaken, you used to be hyunjoon-biased correct?

hello! god bless this ask :’) i was waiting for someone to allow me to be absolutely gr0ss and gushy about my sunshine : (

and yes! you are correct :’) i used to be very hyunjoon biased! but if i were to make a comparison,,, hyunjoon was really just a crush but sunoo is the one i really fell for. anyways gush under cut cuz i doubt anyone cares

so if i have to be honest, i “fall in love at first sight�� w groups. usually the person i notice first becomes my bias. theres always one defining feature i usually fall in love with. so usually i tend to bias dancers (ex. ten, taemin, chaeyeon, wooyoung, san, etc etc) but with tbz i had exposure to them since boy and had been following their music since debut, but not the group.

Not until no air dropped did i really begin to fall in love w them. I had a lot of trouble picking a bias w tbz, which is very rare for me but i also think its because i had a ton of exposure to them before. in the boy mv i think the ones that stood out to me were sunwoo hyunjoon and jacob. In giddy up i considered joining the fandom (bc legendary song omg) and the ones that stood out in that mv were sunwoo chanhee and changmin. unluckily for me, i didnt end up getting into the fandom until no air dropped and i spent over a week picking a bias between hyunjoon, sunwoo, changmin, and kevin (as u can see its not that surprising i fell for sunwoo lol,,, it was just a matter of time) anyways, it was a long week but hyunjoons smile really just,,,,,, sold me

like cmon are you kidding me look at that he has the prettiest smile on earth and i still stand by that opinion. and after really investing myself in tbz, i found myself loving his unique dance style. the way he presents himself is so genuine and different from what i usually prefer in dancers. My favorite dancer is by far Ten and my brain auto compares dancers to him but with hyunjoon,,, the style was just so different that it was impossible to compare the two. So yeah I still love hyunjoon a lot! its just,,,, i love sunoo more

tbh i have no idea when i started falling so hard for kim sunwoo. it really just came gradually,,, and thats super strange for my “love at first sight” aries venus :’) though i dont remember exactly what moment made me start swerving, i know his lyrics and rap style played a big part in me becoming the biggest sunoonator on this earth. His first verse in 4EVER is by far the best thing i have ever heard (and in an interview he also said those lines were some of his favorite lyrics hes written!!!

another thing that really swayed me was the bday prank. that clip made me pay so much more attention to him when before i was one track minded on hyunjoon. but seeing him just break down when he realized those he loved weren’t actually fighting showed me how genuine he was. by paying more attention to him, i really just,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, swooned for that dorky smile of his (example below bc i want to c’:)

and his overall quirkiness.

something ive also been loving and noticing recently is his absolute hatred for skinny jeans LOL and same. I literally wear joggers every single day bc i cant be bothered. Sunwoos fashion looks so comfortable and he pulls it off so well! its something i can appreciate and love

and the final thing. this is probably the biggest reason i absolutely love love love him! its the way he interacts and treats his fans. idk if you follow the fancafe but sunwoo updates the most out of all of the members. He basically writes in the fancafe every single day, even if its as simple as “deobis what are you doing?” and no matter what, hes always talking about deobis in his updates and almost always reminds us that he loves us! theres one fancafe letter he wrote that i have bookmarked and saved and its the one where he literally starts off by saying that hes awake at 5:20 am (iirc this was after TFMAs where they won the next leader award) bc he cant sleep and he just pours out his late night (or in this case early morning lol) thoughts and its just him talking about his career and how he is so honored to be able to perform on the same stage as his seniors. he also talks about how he is so grateful to deobis and begins explaining his thoughts about the relationship between artists and their fans and how beautiful he finds this relationship. and he continues to describe what kind of singer he wants to be: a loveable singer who can cheer others up. he said that deobis are the ones who helped him become the person he is today and how he always will be sincere to deobis that cheer for him :’(( this is a super dumbed down ver of his letter bc my korean isnt extremely good but he basically ends by saying he’ll continue to improve for deobis and that he really loves us :( this letter was then posted around an hour later at around 6 am :( so he basically spent an hour writing a letter to deobis at the crack of dawn just bc he wanted to tell us his thoughts,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, i rly,,,,,,,, im so sad hes the sweetest :(

oh also special creds to @jushaknyeon (especially this hakkjae clown), @noairmv, and @hwqll for clowning me so hard into finally biasing him love u guys sm lol

this is probably way way way more than what you were expecting but i really needed to let it all out :’) i love him to the end of the universe and back! and im pretty sure this time hes just going to be stuck with me :’) (his loss lmao)

if you read all the way down to here im so sorry for wasting your time LOLOLOL here is a sunoo gif as an apology

#eri.asks #uh. this turned out to be way longer than i expected LOLOLOL #fun fact: i officially admitted to being a solo sunwoo stan on his birthday lol #anyways sorry this took so long anon :')#and sorry for the huge wall of text #you dont have to read it if u dont want to :') i just needed somewhere to let it all out and your ask was the perfect opportunity #ty for the ask <3 #and dw u are not clowning me :') the people who really clown me are andy ai and han #sunoo essays

11 notes · View notes

ashley-virginia · 7 years

Note

Alright I'm gonna be "that guy" and be totally annoying, but for the unusual asks thing, answer all of them (or whatever ones you want to/have time for) bc I'm honestly genuinely curious :)

Ahhhh thank you so much! I actually love you a whole bunch, because this was so fun and I never really get to do things like this!!

Spotify, SoundCloud, or Pandora? spotify

is your room messy or clean? my room at home is messy as hell, but my dorm is pretty neat and pretty.

what color are your eyes? brown, but like a nice chocolate brown!

do you like your name? why? i guess i like it, i think it’s kinda adorable when people mess up the pronunciation and add an extra syllable in the middle. so they say ash-uh-lee instead of just Ashley.

what is your relationship status? s i n g l e

describe your personality in 3 words or less calm, friendly, shy

what color hair do you have? brunette

what kind of car do you drive? color? white ‘99 solara. i named him caspar :)

where do you shop? target, forever21, kohls (if i’m feeling like dropping big bucks), lush

how would you describe your style? terrible. i have zero style whatsoever. but i guess it’s classic? trendy? what words do you even use to describe style??

favorite social media account tumblr or twitter

what size bed do you have? queen i think

any siblings? only child!

if you can live anywhere in the world where would it be? why? somewhere warm so i don’t freeze my butt off, and my skin gets super dry when it’s cold out. so like maybe florida or cali. the outer banks is pretty nice in the summer, they have great beaches

favorite snapchat filter? the butterfly crown thingy

favorite makeup brand(s) COLOURPOP, maybelline, ulta brand?, nyx, too faced…(i have a ton of favs)

how many times a week do you shower? usually 7 because i work out quite often so i don’t want to go to work or class smelling gross like some people do

favorite tv show? gotham, the flash, supergirl, ouat

shoe size? 6 or 7

how tall are you? 5′3

sandals or sneakers? sneakers because i have ugly, wide feet

do you go to the gym? not really, i usually go on runs or use the treadmill/elliptical that i have in my house. but since there’s a gym on campus i might start going, but it’s also out of the way so idk

describe your dream date cute lunch or dinner at a cute cafe. i’m sipping some hot chocolate and munching on a soft pretzel or muffin. and my date, whoever he or she is, is munching on their snack, telling me about a book their reading or something that makes them happy. maybe afterwards we’ll go on a walk and find a quite place to read

how much money do you have in your wallet at the moment? maybe like $30? about to be like 10 after i get my lab notebook

what color socks are you wearing? maroon and white

how many pillows do you sleep with? at home: two regular pillows, a body pillow, two pillow pets. at school, one pillow, three decorative pillows.

do you have a job? what do you do? i work part time at an agriculture company, currently at school though, so i work during breaks. but i help with harvest and such, i don’t really know how to explain it without going into major details

how many friends do you have? not a lot. it’s kinda embarrassing to put a number to it

whats the worst thing you have ever done? give my phone to two of my friends while they prank called some guy that had called one of them while he was very drunk (the dude not my friend). it turns out he was in a very high position in our state, and we all got in a shit ton of trouble :/

whats your favorite candle scent? classic vanilla i suppose. or anything fall themed

3 favorite boy names noah, adam, jonathan (and any variation of it)

3 favorite girl names carrie, zoe, dorothy

favorite actor? river phoenix or cameron monaghan. i could go on and on about why i picked them

favorite actress? i don’t really have one, but i like emma watson and elizabeth taylor

who is your celebrity crush? probably cam or river

favorite movie? stand by be, the mummy, and et are all collectively number 1 on my list

do you read a lot? whats your favorite book? i’ve read 7 books in january so i guess i read a lot. and right now my favorite would probably be The Raven Boys (i’m patiently waiting on the rest of the series to arrive so i can binge read it)

money or brains? brains

do you have a nickname? what is it? sadly i have a very plain nickname. It’s Ash, just the first three letters of my name. but i do like it, usually on my family and few friends call me it, so it’s kinda special to me

how many times have you been to the hospital? oh yikes, proably like 15-20

top 10 favorite songs

sexual by NEIKED

shout out to my ex by little mix

anything that dodie calrk sings lol

all i ask by adele

make you feel by love (the glee version)

the dear evan hansen sounddtrack (it hasn’t been released yet but you know i’m gonna love it)

human by darren criss

driftwood by cody simpson (basically the whole album, free, is a bop)

last night on earth by green day

girls like girls by hayley kiyoko

do you take any medications daily? yep, nothing serious just stuff to keep me healthy

what is your skin type? (oily, dry, etc) usually oily, but during very cold days, it can get very very dry

what is your biggest fear? probably being alone in life.

how many kids do you want? maybe 2 or 3

whats your go to hair style? well considering i have short hair, i just shower and let it dry

what type of house do you live in? (big, small, etc) i guess it’s small, but before i left for uni, i was in the process of moving into a slightly bigger house, so now i guess it’s a medium sized house

who is your role model? lea michele

what was the last compliment you received? some girl in my psych class complimented my blue jacket

what was the last text you sent? “i love you” to my dad

how old were you when you found out santa wasn’t real? 7, i saw one of my presents that had yet to be wrapped in the back of my dads truck, and then on christmas day, i opened the exact gift and it had said it was from “Santa”. i didn’t let my parents know for a couple more years.

what is your dream car? idk, i kinda like the one i have now.

opinion on smoking? it’s bad for you and your health, you shouldn’t do it

do you go to college? yep, just started my first semester on monday

what is your dream job? either a writer or an actress, i’m going to school for neither of those things

would you rather live in rural areas or the suburbs? suburbs was always the dream, but i am starting to like more rural areas.

do you take shampoo and conditioner bottles from hotels? no, but my mom does

do you have freckles? yep, on my shoulders and face, though the latter are more prominent in the summer

do you smile for pictures? usually

how many pictures do you have on your phone? 37

have you ever peed in the woods? yep!

do you still watch cartoons? not really, but sometimes i’ll watch old pokemon episodes on netflix

do you prefer chicken nuggets from Wendy’s or McDonalds? i don’t think i’ve ever had wendy’s nuggets, but i’m sure they’re much better than McDonald’s

Favorite dipping sauce? BBQ or ketchup

what do you wear to bed? usually sweatpants and a tank top, but i’ll switch to shorts if it gets too hot

have you ever won a spelling bee? i’ve never been in a spelling bee

what are your hobbies? singing, acting, writing, reading

can you draw? nope

do you play an instrument? ukulele and a bit of guitar

what was the last concert you saw? hunter hayes in 2014

tea or coffee? tea

Starbucks or Dunkin Donuts? starbucks

do you want to get married? yeah, i’d like to

what is your crush’s first and last initial? JC

are you going to change your last name when you get married? maybe

what color looks best on you? i’ve been told dark green and blue?

do you miss anyone right now? yeah, my dog and family

do you sleep with your door open or closed? closed, i like to think that it keeps the bugs out

do you believe in ghosts? hell yeah

what is your biggest pet peeve? body odor

last person you called my dad

favorite ice cream flavor? vanilla or pistachio

regular oreos or golden oreos? regular

chocolate or rainbow sprinkles? rainbow sprinkles

what shirt are you wearing? not wearing a shirt ;) lol i’m actually just wearing a sweatshirt

what is your phone background? my date for prom and i

are you outgoing or shy? depends, if i’m with good friends, i’m outgoing, if not, i’m usually very very shy

do you like it when people play with your hair? not really

do you like your neighbors? not really

do you wash your face? at night? in the morning? morning and night

have you ever been high? nope

have you ever been drunk? nope

last thing you ate? a granola bar for lunch

favorite lyrics right now literally the entirety of Waving Through a Window. like i relate to that so much it makes me cry half the time i listen to it

summer or winter? i guess summer, but i prefer fall to all seasons

day or night? day

dark, milk, or white chocolate? dark

favorite month? october

what is your zodiac sign cancer

who was the last person you cried in front of? probably my dad

#ask #answered

0 notes

sub4bondage86 · 4 years

Text

I'm stuck with family... (Stories found on Slaveboys -Jabril)

What's in the box? 1. The day after Christmas. This all started one board morning in December between Christmas and the new year, it was minus six out side and there was nothing on the TV. I Started to randomly graze the local news paper; I say graze because the top story was about the local football club having found a run away goat eating the pitch the day before. Yes it was that sort of paper. Equally the football team should have employed the goat rather than take it home, as they would have faired better with it as their manager. Any way, I continue to read if only to delay the next conversation about the weather or another Turkey sandwich. Obituaries, adverts, the agony aunt � raised a few smiles, though to the classified adverts. I almost went to look at a trampoline just for the 2 hour drive to escape from the house. However I resisted and started reading the personal ads'. Among them there was something unusual... I say among them, it was near the other 'Same Sex' adverts. Wanted � male aged 25 � 35, hight and weigh proportionate and in good health to undergo an intense even severe physical and psychological examination. BOX 2356 The advert stood out a mile, I'd not seen a word with more than 2 syllables in the whole time I'd been reading. I decided to call BOX 2356 to find out more, but first I had to find some where quiet where my whole family would here what I was up to. Off to the bathroom! The greeting message played... �If you decide to continue to apply to take part in this examination be aware that you will be tested to ensure you meet the selection criteria. These tests may take a number of unusual forms and only the candidates who complete all of them will qualify to progress to the second stage. Successful completion of the second stage will result in the candidate receiving a personal reward for taking part. Precautions will be taken to ensure the candidate remains unharmed. If you wish to progress to testing please key in your mobile number at the end of this message.�

I must confess I was gob smacked by it and sat there listening to the static on the end of the message until the pre-recorded voice started again. It just started to repeat the message again, but that was enough to wake me up. I hung up and headed back the the living room to find my family had started playing some random game that only ever came out at Christmas. I reluctantly joined them; as it was a change from the paper. By mid afternoon the game was long over and half the house was asleep and the other half playing with new toys. My mind started to wander, I was board again and still a little curious about the advert. I called it again, this time leaving my number. Almost immediately my phone chirped, but it was just a conformation text from the message box thing in the paper... 'Reply Yes to this message to pass your mobile number the holder of box 2356, reply No or simply do nothing if you don't want us to pass on your number' I sent a yes to the number and waited, minutes turned in to hours... nothing happened. I think I'd decided it was just a scam and given up on it when my phone chirped with a message from a number I didn't know. 'Stage 1 testing take 2 or 3 hours and isnt to involved, can you get to Ambridge for 10am tomorrow? Yes or No' Ambridge is a market town (one of the few) covered by the circulation of the paper, so close enough. I reply yes if only to ensure the next day isn't as dull as this one has been. The reply comes back �Market square 10am dont be late�. I have hundreds of questions running though my head after this, but the messages are rather abrupt. So I decide they will keep until we meet the next day and simply reply 'no problem, see you there' as I head to bed.

2. The next morning.... I was tired and a little grumpy; never sleep well on the guest bed at my family home. Thankfully no one else is really about, so I simple call out as I leave 'Off in to town, text me if you want anything and I'll bring it back later, bye' I get a muffled 'OK, bye love' from somewhere in the recesses of upstairs. Coat, scaff and gloves on I head out to defrost the car and head off towards Ambridge, my phone chirps on the way but I'm good and leave it. Then it chirps again as I pull into a car park on the edge of town. The messages were Withheld � Your appointment today has been changed, disused bandstand opposite station car park. 10am sharp. Mother � Pls gt a wht lf The second message was the easy one... think she is after bread. So I reply simply OK... The first message is more tricky, I assume it's from the same source as the previous text, but I don't know for sure. I decide to call the number from the other night and see if I get an answer... straight to voice mail. I start to wonder what I should do, then I realize I've been walking towards the station for the last 5 minutes on auto pilot. I tell my self 'in for a penny, in for a pound' and keep walking. I arrive at the bandstand, but there isn't a sole near it. I lean against one of the pillars and wait, it gets to 10am and I'm still there alone. Another 10min goes by, nothing... I start to walk away assuming it's a no show when. Withheld � Patience, turn around. The box is for you. I look back at the still deserted bandstand, only to see a small brown/grey box right in the centre. I pause and have the uneasy feeling I'm being watched. Withheld � Go on then.

Now I know I am... I walk forward looking round to spot someone holding a phone; there aren't many people around... who could it be? I reach the box and bend to pick it up. Withheld � Swap with me, use the gents in the station to get changed. The box contained a white T-shirt, white jock strap and a pair of socks. I put the lid back on and start to wonder what I'm getting my self into. Withheld � I don't want you to freeze, so we'll trade bottom layers. I cross the road and duck in to the one cubical in the toilets that can be locked from the inside... the other 2 doors looked broken. The one I was in didn't give full privacy... there was clearly a glory hole between it and next door. I carefully start to strip and change as I hear someone else enter the room out side, then another. I'm just putting the socks on... half balanced half standing on top on my shoes (cause the floors filth) when... Withheld � good so far, but I've decided I want a sample. Poke your cock though to next door. I start to bend down to look though the hole, when the 3rd person in there slams the door and I jump up realizing I'm still not dresses. Withheld � don't mind him, now or never. So I grab the top edge of the cubical for balance and poke my cock though the hole. A gentle hand touches it, then 2 start to work it as I become more and more aroused. This goes on for a a little while until I'm very horny and ready to explode. Then I feel a toung on my cock head, then a mouth... my god did this guy know how to give good head. Withheld � That's enough of that for now, bandstand as soon as you are dressed. The mouth and hands vanish, leaving me air fucking a hole in a toilet cubical wall. My texter clearly isn't alone. I finish getting dressed, the provided jock/socks are nice so I don't have a problem putting my socks, pants and shirt into the box as requested. I have to pull my coat down to try and hide the obvious erection I now have... I get to the bandstand, but there is still no one there. However there was another box identical to the one I was now holding with my worn socks and paints in. Withheld � Hope you are having fun now, leave your box and take the new one. I swap them over and immediately...

Withheld � If you want to earn some more of the same you have 7min exactly to post the contents of the new box to your home address and get back to the bandstand I open the box to find another box, covered in brown paper Withheld � there's a queue at the post office and you just wasted 20 seconds I drop the outer box on the ground next to the one containing my underwear and walk briskly to the post office; not stopping to look round to see who takes the box. It only takes 2min to get there, but there are several people lined up. So I join the queue and grab a pen and put the address on the package... I really want some more of that guy sucking my cock; I will the queue to move faster. I don't stop to think if I should be sending mystery packages to my self. I reach the window and all but though the box at the postman in the cubical... Withheld � 1 min to go. I bolt from the post office, and sprint for the bandstand. Before I'm half way... Withheld � times up. I keep running hoping he can't see and arrive at the bandstand 30 seconds late and breathing heavily. Withheld � Next time you won't waste 20 seconds thinking when I give you instructions. You only get 1 more chance to redeem yourself. I was disappointed and started to look down at my feet. I notice the empty box I dropped then I left for the post office was still on the floor, the the other had gone. Withheld � Don't look so glum, you get 1 more chance.

I quickly look round trying to spot him, as the tingles run up my spine knowing he is watching. No one looking that I could tell... Withheld � bye for now, go home. I'm disappointed and still rather horny, but start to walk away. I make it to the edge of the road Withheld � and take the rubbish home, you'll need it next time. I turn back... the empty box is still there. I wander back and pick it up, turn and start back across town towards my Car and boredom back at home. All in all it had been a diverting couple of hours out, but I would have given anything to have cum in that bathroom. I can't believe I'm letting some completely unseen guy wind me round his finger like this... more to the point I don't understand why I'm letting him. I just put it down to being exceptionally horny. I stop for bread on the way to the Car, towns busy by now lots of people in the shops as the sales are in full swing. Much later that evening when I'm sitting down to dinner with the family, chirp chirp. Withheld � your next set of tests will take a full day and start when you get your parcel. Just remember do first think second the next time. Mother enquires about who the message was from, I respond 'No one special' put the phone away and continue to eat dinner.

3. How Slow is the Post. For the next few days I'm up and looking for the parcel I sent to my self. It's only coming from just down the road; but 3 days and nothing! Every day I question weather I used this address, paid the postage and especially what was in it. At last on new years eve there is a knock and the postman hands over the package. Better still no one even knew it arrived so far as I could tell. Good for me... didn't want to have to explain it to anyone at home. I head to the bathroom, to get some privacy to finally open it. The outer paper is off before the bathroom door is locked, it revels another gray-brown box. Next the lids on the floor and I see the contents for the first time. A typed note and a key on a wrist band with number 166... I feel a little silly having gone to hide in the bathroom for that; then better safe than sorry. The key goes in my pocket and my attention turns to the note. 'You have just about proven you can follow instructions, or you wouldn't be reading this. However you need to improve on that during your fitness test. You'll have to get up early, follow orders and break a sweat to earn your next treat. Let me know you received this e-mail [email protected] I flush the toilet for no reason, gab the box and the litter and head to the bin; closely followed by my room & Laptop. I want to ask all kinds of questions, but I some how know I wouldn't get answers. So I send a simple message, 'I have the key, what's next?' Later that evening... I go back and check my messages for the 4th time.

From: [email protected] Subject: Your fitness test. Message: Thanks to new year celebrations you are going to have to wait until Tuesday when opening hours return to normal. You will be taking the day off, so make arrangements if you have to. Be at Morden station at 7am, be wearing trainers and the white ankle socks / underwear I sent you home in last time. Bring the key. Boss

The day off is easy; I'd not planned to go back for another week. Morden is a little village that barely registers on the map, miles from anywhere. It's one saving grace is the fact it has a train station. I'm a little apprehensions about meeting there because it's deserted most of the time, at lease in town there were a few people around to hear me if I shouted for help. Still I can always jump back in the car and run away... So I reply � ' See you Tuesday' The new year passes as uneventfully as ever, the days drag on. Don't get me wrong it's nice to see family, but I prefer them in small doses. No more messages or texts appear either, I start to think I've been forgotten. But I still set my alarm for an early start, so I'm up and slip out of the house before anyone else. Mainly because I don't think I could come up with a lie about what I'm doing up at that hour; so better no one asks. It's further to go than Ambridge, but at that time of the morning it's quiet and the nip in the air from the frost keeps me awake. I just get to Morden for 7; but still no message. 7.05 � still nothing until 3 cars turn up in quick succession, men in suits jump out and head to the platform to catch the city train. Within minutes they have boarded and gone. 7.10 � The frost is making the windows steam up, so I zip up my puffa jacket, pull on my hat and start to pace up and down in the car park. 7.15 � I'm set to get back in the car and go, feeling foolish for even turning up...

Withheld � Time to catch a train, your tickets in the out put bin or the machine where I just left it. Far platform and hurry the trains about due. I Zap the car as I cross the car park, the tickets are there... but the only people I'd seen already left in the other direction. So how did they get there? No time to think... I grab the 2 parts as the train pulls in; along the platform, over the crossing and in just as the doors close. The ticket is good for 3 stops down the line, looks like I'm off to the coast for some sea air... 35 minutes roll passed. The announcement to say the train terminates here plays, I stand up and head to the doors. Withheld � time for a treat, last carriage last seat on the right. Get it before you leave the train. I turn and start walking to the back, he's here some where... I keep looking as I head back; no-one stands out. I reach the back seat but find nothing. Then I notice a small grey brown box in the overhead luggage shelf. I calmly pick it up and step off the train. This one is lighter than the last... I wonder what I have now? The sea air greets me as I walk towards the exit of the station as I discreetly peek in the box. I'm surprised to find a swipe card with the words 'hannets guest' printed on it. Withheld � It will get you in to the Holiday complex half way down station road. 5 min to be in the gate � go. I start to walk briskly, only to realize I'm walking towards the end of the road I'm already at. Swiftly turn round and go the other way... The stations a long way from the sea, so station road must be a mile long. So my brisk walk turns into a jog, then a run... Withheld � That's more like it. I look round but still don't see anyone; 'who is he'. Withheld � Times up. You need more motivation to work hard for me. I'm not sure what that is meant to mean; but I keep running and arrive at the gate for the holiday complex at least a minute late. If I'd run the whole way I might have managed 5 miniutes. I swipe the card at the pedestrian gate and it pops open. I start to take in the interior of the place; it's in good order � looks expensive. But it's the dead of winter so there aren't many signs of life and there I am puffing from my run. Withheld � Obstacle course, in the trees on the far side of the site. 2 laps in 6 min. Go.

I start at first to jog, then run. I unzip my coat as I pass the other buildings on site � A closed shop, an arcade, pool and gym, closed bar, Equipment hire place... then more less expensive looking accommodation. I scoop my hat off and in to a pocket as I arrive at the course... looks like 6 wooden things in a loop. Didn't look that long and there was a bench in the middle so I go there first and dump my jacket.

Withheld � Warm then? 4 min to go. First wooden thing was sit up bars � the sign said to do 10. Next were monkey bars, some step ups with a do 20 sign. Up the Net climb, along the cable bridge, down the pole... crawl though a part burred concrete pipe that would be wet but for the ice. Last over the gate jump and a 50m dash to the start glancing at my coat to check it's still there. Then round again with my heart pounding, sweating and getting to be a mess. I start the sprint to the end... Withheld � Better, you need to do better than that. I collapse on the bench with my coat, 'How much do I have to do'. Withheld � Gym. Card at the door. Key in the locker; leave the box I've left for you there until later. Get a towel and clean your self up. The pimply assistant takes little notice as I walk into the gym but at least makes the effort to gesture at the pile of clean towels on the end of the counter. I find the male room and locate locker 166 and try my key. It opens and sure enough there is another grey � brown box in the back. I dump my coat and precede to strip to the towel and head to the shower taking the key with me. I'm quickly clean and back to my phone in the locker. Withheld � Box, dress, sauna. I'll come set the timer to give you a tar when you are in. So he's in the building, am I finally going to meet him in a sauna? I roll the towel up and put it in the locker as I take the box out. In side there were 2 things; a printed note Warning � translucent when wet and a pair of white swimming trunks. Who's going to see me here anyway... I pull them on without stopping to think. They don't leave much to the imagination, but the place is mostly empty. I tell my self no one will notice as I clip the locker key to them. I head out of the locker room, passed a 50m pool to 3 small separate sauna areas. Each area had a door with a port hole window, next to each door was a thermostat and clock. The first one was already occupied by a couple of round old dears with it set on low. You could hear them cackling from out side; I guess that it makes for a nice place to sit and chat when it's like that. I head to the far one, close the door and sit facing it. A couple of minutes pass, then a shape appears in front of the window. He must be a tall, all I see is chest and neck in the window. At that moment the steam starts to pour in and I can feel the temperature going up. I expect the door to open, but the shape moves away. I'm a little dejected to think he didn't come in, but part of me is enjoying the game we are clearly playing. I lay back and enjoy the heat, it makes a change from the cold every where else. That's short lived as the temperate keeps increasing. What feels like half an hour passes, no sound from the timer or sign of my mystery man. The sweat is dripping off me, breathing is hard work in the heat. There was a tap on the door � the life guard popped his head in. 'You OK in there mate, isn't everyone that runs it this hot?' I sit up and say 'fine'. That raises a rye smile from him, so I ask 'how long have I got left on the clock?' He grins back at me 'it's been run down for 5 minutes, that's why I came to ask'. 'Shit, I didn't notice. Sorry' I get up and head for the door. 'Not the only thing you missed, mate' and hands me a towel. I give him a blank look and he gestures down as I reach the door. Firstly I turn bright red, then I start to get aroused as I apologise repeatedly... the white trunks are now translucent trunks thanks to all the sweat. I hastily wrap the towel round my waist and head to the changing room.

4. The price of Stuff. I unlock the locker to see my phone flashing and a printed note on top of my things. 'You don't think that's the only key do you?' He could have taken my stuff, but there it all was. Now the message... Withheld � You've passed basic inspection. Now you have a choice to make, take your things and go or do 20 lengths . If you swim we move to phase 2 and will be busy all day. Phase 2 is more intense. We started early, so it's barely 10am by now. If I go I don't get to see him, have no chance of the other half of what was going on in the toilets. Equally, I'd go back to being board. What's 'phase 2' when it's at home anyway? Clearly he's not out to mug me... I sit in the changing room and weigh up the options for a couple of minutes before I decide to take a swim to see what happened next. I do the lengths quickly, this time grabbing the towel as soon as I can to hide my dick and arse from the cute life guard. I go directly back to the locker, to see what the next message was. When I open the door this time it's a bit more of a shock; firstly the note. 'I've taken some of your things, to make you earn them back. Go take a cold shower, then get dressed in the outfit provided. Start at the top of the pile and work down. Dump the see though trunks in the bin, unless you want to keep them. When you are ready bring everything you find in the locker with you and head back to the train station; it's time to use your return ticket' My shoes and socks were at the bottom of the pile, but the rest of my stuff had gone. Keys, wallet, phone & cloths; there was a half full bottle of water, an old mobile phone, a key. The pile of cloths that was there looked like it was manly Lycra with something glinting silver on top of the pile. I pick it up for a closer look � turns out to be a sleet cock ring. I remember my instructions and put it all back and take a shower first. The cool water helps me calm down; he has me in his pocket and I'm excited and scared. This game has been giving me a buzz until now; suddenly it feels more serious. There are more people around now, so the changing room is no longer empty when I'm dry from the shower. I'm not sure how to put the cock ring on without drawing attention. In the end I take it and the top layer from the pile to the bathroom and start to dress in one of the stalls. The cock ring has the immediate effect of making me aroused. Next for the Lycra... it was some sort of sleeveless all in one thing with short legs and a zip from the neck down part way. It was a squeeze to put it on, like with the other items he had provided it was on the small side. I can see both my balls and my now erect dick pointing at my belly button.

I couldn't really hide it, so I stride back to the locker and keep my back to the room; hoping no one will see. Next I find my still muddy track suit top. Then socks, so I have to step back to sit and put them on. I keep nervously half looking round as I go. The last item of clothing turn out to be my still muddy track suit bottoms. Shoes next. The water bottle goes in one pocket, the phone, new key and return part of my train ticket in the other. I still to this day have no idea why I kept the trunks, but I wringed as much water out as I could and put them in the pocket with the water bottle. Then I head out passed the attendant, to the gate I'd arrived though a couple of hours earlier. On to the pavement and back towards the station. By the time I arrived I was feeling a little chilly, but wasn't as cold as I'd expected to be. The Lycra was keeping me quiet warm, the departure board tells me I have a short wait for the next train back so I find a seat on the platform so I can start to look at the phone. It has one number saved � mine. It's sent and receive a couple of messages to... apparently to me. This was the phone 'Withheld' had first exchanged messages with me on. There isn't any credit left to make a call, but the battery is nearly full. Then I get a message, from me... it has to be withheld, he has my phone. 'I like my new phone, not sure you'll like yours as much. Don't miss the train and drink your water' I board the train about a minute after that and slowly sip the water for the 3 stops worth of journey back to the isolated station of Morden. I spent most of the journey wondering what was going to come next and what intense thing I would have to do to earn my stuff back. Thanks to the constant reminder of the cock ring and the Lycra it was difficult to think of much else.

5. Is Moved Stolen? The Journey passes quickly, the phone remains silent. I am the only person to get off at Morden station; clearly a very popular place to go at 11am. I walk down to my locked Car and start to wonder if I could break in if I needed to when the brick in my pocket vibrates. 'Time to take a ride � the key is for the bike at the end of the row' I turn back to the station building and walk to the end. I'd seen the racks when I pulled in, so I unlock the bike in the rack- it isn't just the one at the end; it's the only one. Skinny road tyres and a skinny saddle, breaks worked even thou it had seen better days. Phone goes again... 'Dump the dirty track suit next to your car, you're going to work up a sweat on the bike for me' I wheel the bike back to the car, I feel the cold of the air as I pull the track suit off. Equally lycra and a cock ring didn't leave much to any onlookers imagination. I shiver a little, but the next message soon arrives. 'Left out of the car park over the crossing, then first right down the narrow road to the cross roads. Left there up the hill, right at the top in to a lane. The barn at the end � look for a box.' I re-read the directions so I'm sure where to head, when a second message arrives. 'You have 20min to complete the instructions in the box there, or pay the price for finishing late' I push the phone in a pocket in the lycra suit, attempt to quickly hide my track suit under the car and jump on the bike. Left and bounce over the crossing, I don't see a right turn so keep peddling hard on the flat until I do. The road has a warning sign for a ford, but I take little notice and head along it as it climbs and falls running out in to still slightly frosty country side. Then I reach the ford, there is no way round as the stream cuts across the path of the road. It isn't deep so I keep going, the spray is freezing and plentiful. Thankfully I keep upright and pedal out the other side, colder and with water running into my shoes. The road starts to climb again, so I press on up the gentle slope. The hill is a blessing, it keeps me working hard and I soon warm up after the cold of the ford. The road winds round the side of the hill, when I find a what I would describe at a T junction with a farm track across from it. The track is on the left and it clearly heads up the hill. I stop for a second to look and can make out the path it follows up to the trees at the top of the hill. I can just see a bit of a roof belonging to a barn in the trees... this has to be it. There is no way I can make the climb up there in the time left. I take the turn and keep pushing hard.

There is steam rising from me, because I'm pushing hard up the hill. The skinny wheels are pinging stones left and right as I bump up the hill. I can feel sweat running down my face and my fingers freezing at the same time. My lungs are burning from the cold air but I can't feel my feet are wet and cold. As I approach the barn the track improves; think I've come the back way to get here. There is a tarmac surface on the other approach from over the hill. The barn has no doors, slot windows and a hole in the roof that I can see from the outside. I get off the bike and wheel it in the open side; propping it up against a wall. Inside I find my car, with my wallet, phone, jacket etc... all out on the back seat. It's unlocked with the keys in the ignition, so he stole it to beat me here? Or did he just move it because I gave him the keys. On the far side of the car is a central support pillar, presumably holding the roof up. At the foot of the pillar a gray brown box...

6. Ah... I know I haven't made it in 20 minutes, I can't of. I could just get in the Car and leave; that's the second time he's given me a chance to just go. I open the box to see what is next if I stay. The typed note reads... 'You are late and will be punished for that if you stay. 1. Strip to the waist. 2. Put one set of handcuffs on each wrist. 3. Stand with your back to the post. 4. Put the hood on. 5. Join the cuffs behind you, round the post. 6. Keep quiet when I speak unless I ask you a question. Simple right?' I'm starting to shiver, the warm sweat is turning to ice. The adrenalin is still flowing so it's easy for me to un-zip the lycra and roll it down to my waist, I quickly clip one then the second set of cuffs to each wrist. The last item I collect from the box is a hood � black leather with a draw string fastening and holes for breathing. I step over to the post holding it, the shivering is getting worse partly from nervousness partly from cold. I drop the hood on and pull the string gently, I don't think to fasten it. Instead I lean back on to the post, take the spare loop on each cuff in a hand each; reach back and a few clicks later I'm attached to the post. I'm there in silence and darkness for a minute or more when I hear footsteps moving round inside the barn with me. Then I hear my car's central locking click shut, I turn my head to look towards the noise. I can't see anything, but the hood moves slightly as I do. I can see a stream of light coming in from the breathing hole. Which is then broken as I scene someone standing in front of me. A course hand presses firmly on my chest, I gasp. �Still here then, you're freezing. Not to worry; I have something to warm you up in the house.� He's softly spoke, but forceful at the same time. The hand slides down to my stomach. �and you haven't eaten.� His hand moves round to the left as I get the sense he's looking me over. The hand moves to my head, and pushes to forwards. �That isn't good enough�

The hood is yanked back into the correct position, the laces pulled tight. Then I feel them being tided off. �better� I'm shivering more all the time. �Ready to take a short walk?� I don't speak instantly and the top of the hood gets a gentle slap. �Well, stay and freeze or walk?� I shudder as I get out �wu-wu-walk please� �walk please what?� I'm not sure what I'm meant to say �Walk please, boss?� �Not perfect but it's a start� I can feel a collar going on over the bottom edge of the hood, it's then tugged forward. I follow it as far as the cuffs and my arms allow. I hear a chain run under my chin, I feel the cuffs part behind the post and they quickly go back together behind my back with both wrists in one pair. Then the second pair snap shut. As cold and shivering as I am the adrenalin starts to pump and the feeling of cold is less than it was. �Follow me� The chain jerks me forward, round the the car and out on to the smooth tarmac path. The breeze is cold without the relative shelter of the barn. Every time I get nervous about walking into the unknown there is a re-assuring tug on the chain to keep me moving. We walk for what feels like a mile, turning left and right on tarmac and gravel paths. Before we slow down. �Carefully over the step� The chain slows but keeps moving as I half walk half feel my way using my numb feet. Over a door step and down on to a solid stone floor. I can feel warm Air round me and hear the door close. The same course hand grasps my shoulder. �Shoes off�

I struggle to kick them off, as I do the floor feels warm under my soggy foot. The hand on my shoulder steadies me, then turns me side ways and guides me down to a seat. �Now the socks� I hear him move away as I fight to get enough feeling in my toes to work the socks off. By the time I get the socks off, but loose track of Mr. Withheld. I here a distant click and the sound of boiling water. He's back at my side in seconds. �Up� The collar yanks me up to my feet and the lycra is pulled down to my ankles. Then I feel a warm towel drying me from the shoulders down. �Sit again� The Lycra is pulled the rest of the way off to leave me sitting, bound, hooded and but still rather cold. �Lift your feet� I do so, almost on auto pilot. �Higher� He grabs them and raps the towel round them to start to massage them in the towel. I moan gently in the hood as the feeling return to my feet. �I'll soon have you warm again� He keeps hold of my feet, but drops the towel. I feel a leather cuff round one then the other before they are dropped back to the floor. �Now for the head� The collar looses and disappears to the floor near my feet, then the hood loosens and and follows suit. I blink a few times as my eyes adjust to the daylight, when the towel is wrapped round my face and head. I make out the odd detail of what's round me, a big kitchen. But Mr Withheld is behind me, so all I manage to make out is some approximation of his shape. I see an arm, briefly, but no more. A new hood drops over me from behind and slowly pulls tight. I can feel laces pulling it back so it was tight to my face. I'm blind again, but my mouth can move. When the hoods tight, the collar and chain goes back on. �Up� I find my feet, and can feel the chain hanging from the collar in front of me. The cock ring is still there and I hear it clink as the chain touches it. He lifts my arms and replaces the metal cuffs with more leather ones.

�You're still cold and by my count you have failed me enough times to need correction� The chain is grabbed and yanked forwards once again, he takes me to another room in the house. My feet are kicked apart and the cuffs are connected out to the sides. �This is for hesitating when I first gave you an instruction the day at the post office� His hand slaps my left Arse cheek, I gasp gently. Then the right, and left again and and again. By the tenth on I'm no longer gasping with every slap. The adrenalin is flowing and I feel warm for the first time in a while. �This is for not taking the litter with you� He slaps again, but with some force and a gloved hand. I wobble a little, he grabs my shoulder with one hand and continues to slap my arse with the other. Again ten times. �Then there was the Walk to the leisure park and the assault course, but that�s more serious. The punishment needs to be fitting. So bend over.� My hearts in my mouth and I hesitate. The chain is grabbed and pulled down, I start to fall forward only to find my self resting over something with a rounded top. I hear the chain thread into something on the floor then pull tight almost making me choke. I wriggle to try and find some slack. �That will be 10 more for hesitation� There's no holding back this time, gloved hands and 10 hard slaps. I let out a little 'Ah...' every now and then. But my heart is pounding, the adrenalin is pumping and I'm hock hard. The whole experience is just so intense, I can't help it. �I see you're enjoying yourself, that's good. But we still haven't dealt with the the Assault course� My hands are unclipped from behind my back and anchored to the legs of the horse I'm bent over. Then without warning I feel a hard thud from a heavy wooden paddle. I let out a loud 'Ahhhh'

7. So I made a mess. �You came with me knowing you were going to be punish but you still came here, you had a couple of opportunities to go that you didn't take. Now you are going to pay for everything you got wrong getting here. When I'm done you'll get your reward, then you'll be allowed to leave� With that he slowly and deliberately delivered 9 more strokes with the paddle, I followed each with a 'Ahhh' louder than the last. Each one took me closer to begging him to stop, but each one reminded me of the cost for not doing as I was instructed. �Then you stayed in the steam room for to long, lazy boi� The 'but' slips from my lips... �But What� I finally speak to him 'but the timer was broken so I never heard it' �But What, you've forgotten something worse than a broken timer now. Sir or if I'm feeling generous Boss would do. That's 20 more for forgetting twice in under a minute� I whimper gently, as he moves round the room. �You still get the 10 for the sauna, because you picked the broken one to. I can't have you forgetting my name like that ever again. Open your mouth� I open it. �Wider than that� I open as much as the hood will allow, as I do he push something rubber in my mouth. It hardly fits between my teeth thanks to the hood. When it's there I feel a strap tighten behind my head. �If you can't speak, you can't be disrespectful. This is for your own good.� I feel it expand, then more until my mouth is full and I start to gag slightly. I feel it reduce slightly, I try to speak to thank him. 'anc-u-er' is the only noise I make. Not sure he can hear me... �Good boi, but to late to save you for now. 30, with the strap for the next set� The first one stings my warm arse, the next one my thighs.

�OK, my aim is in. Now we begin properly� The strap comes down with some force, I scream into the gag and tense every muscle trying to move away. �29 to go, by the end you might have learned something� The second was more powerful than the first, I try to scream and fight the bonds. I don't find an ounce of slack when the third one comes down. I beg him, but the gag means the words don't come out. This continues as he works his way down the backs of my legs and up to my Arse again with the next 20 strokes. I am howling in to the gag and crying in side the hood by the time he is done. �Where were we...humm. You'd over stayed the sauna. Then you did something right and decided to trust me and continue� He gently strokes my body, as he moves round to collect something. �For that you get a little reward� I then fell some thing and wet touch my arse. �Relax and let me in, otherwise it'll hurt more than it needs to� I furiously shake my head and clench my hole for a few seconds. Then I feel lube-y fingers work there way in, my head drops and I relax. A wave of pleasure passes over me as the first finger works it way in. Then another with the second. �Good Boi� He starts to move them in and out, I find my self fighting my bonds to move in time with him. �Very good indeed, there is hope for you yet� The fingers disappear, and I feel him standing between my legs. The nipple of a condom touches my leg. I feel something bigger pressing against my hole, then both his hands on my body as he leans in and I feel his cock inside me for the first time. The wave of pleasure was immense, it made the punishment worthwhile. He trusted deeper and dee per still, each time felt better than before. I couldn't help it, and shot my load on the floor. 8. and then it clicked Soon after I felt him almost pulsate as he came inside me. �Did I tell you that you were allowed to cum on my foot?� He steps away for a moment, then I feel him wipe the lube from my backside with the towel. I'm sure my face is bright red with embarrassment if he could see it. I didn't mean to cum like that... it's not like I was even touch my self. The chain my the collar rattles and drops away, something clicks under my chin. Then my arms are released and clipped together in the small of my back. My feet are released.. �On your feet� I wriggle back and plant my feet, then a hand on my shoulder pulls me up. I hear the sound of the heavy horse I'd been bent over being dragged away from me on the tiled floor. �On your Knees� His hand grabs the collar and half drags half guides me to my knees. The gag deflates and the strap loosens, then it's out drool and all. His hand grabs the back of the collar... �Tongue out. You made the mess, you are going to clean it up. I'll worry about what I do about your continued disobedience after lunch.� I stick my tongue out as he guides my face to the floor, I shift my weight round to keep my balance. My first taste of the floor makes me try to pull away, but his hand firmly holds my face down. �Don't miss any� He guide my head left and right, as I lick up salty cum, spilt lube and grit from the floor. �And my foot�

The hand lets go and my nostrils fill with the aroma of his foot. I feel a toe first and shuffle forward so I can work my way round his foot. I find more cum and get a taste of his skin. I work my way back down to his toes and stop when I can't find any more cum. �Get between the toes, there is some fluff in there for you as an extra treat� I start at his little toe and get my tongue between each toe as I work my across. When I get to the big toe he lifts his foot. I follow it until I'm up on my knees and he is pressing it towards me and into my mouth. I keep licking and sucking my way round his foot. He turns it further, I twist my head to the side and work my way down the sole with my tongue. The grit from them is awful, but he keeps his foot there and hasn't said to stop. I keep working my way round it, when the grit had gone it was really pleasurable to taste his skin. I decide to take a chance and speak out of turn �Sir, would it please you if I clean the other foot to. Sir?� His foot disappears from in front of me, then I get a big toe pushed deeply in to my mouth. �Get on with it then� He keeps his foot still and I work my way round it, again the grit from the sole isn't pleasant but when it's gone the flavour of just the skin is making me so horny. I couldn't have believed something like that would have me so aroused. �Enough, with me� With that a hand grabs the collar and takes me across the room. He tips my head down and moves me forward. He un-clips my hands and pushes me further forward, so I crawl as I now feel my my way. �Wait in there while I eat� A metal door shuts behind me and the bars touch my feet. I hear a click, then it all goes quiet. 9. All floaty like. I still can't see but start to feel my way round, firstly I find bars to either side of me. I edge forwards and find more bars. There's a metal sheet below me and above me. It's a tight fit, but I turn my self to face back the other way... my fingers find the latch in the door with a large lock keeping it closed. I bash against the sides a few times as I get comfortable sitting in the middle. Then I start to feel my way round the cuffs on my wrists an ankles... each with it's own lock. I feel over the hood and down the lacing at the back to where it disappears under the collar. I work my way round it, counting 3, no 4 metal loops round it. Then the buckle complete with it's own padlock. I get to my knees and feel the marks on my backside and legs, they are still a little sore. Time passes and I can hear distant noises, maybe a tv or radio with the mid day news. Doors open and close, but he doesn�t come back. I move round a few times trying to find some comfort in my metal surroundings without much luck. The distant noise disappears and I can't tell how much time has passed, I know I'm getting hungry as I haven't eaten. Soon the only sound is my stomach rumbling, as I lean against the bars wondering if I've been forgotten. �By the sound of it, it's time you were fed� I head the sound of metal on metal move just ahead of me. �On your knees� I scramble for space to get to my knees and bash into the bars on one side of me as I go. I feel a hand rub over the elbow the took the hit. �Head up, high� I'm up on my haunches with my arms stretched and my head just touching the top of the cage when a hand grabs the collar and pulls me forward until my cuffed hands meet the bars ahead of me. Each on is juggled and attached to the corner of the cage nearest it. My hands then pulled forwards and down slightly... passed where my hands are. Then something hard presses down on the back of my neck. Then I feel the cuffs on my ankles get pulled and attached to the rear corners of the cage behind me. �I'm going to feed you, and give you a drink. Every time you so much as make an un-favorable noise while I do that you will be left unable to move for a further 5 minutes at the end of feeding time. If you spit anything out it will be 15� My Hands and knees were already not liking the bare metal sheet that formed the base of the cage. I then felt a hand on my thigh... another cuff � then the other side. Each pulled to the sides of the cage and fixed there... next he repeats this with my elbows. Soon the only movements I can make are to arch and lower my back and nod my head. �Don't worry, you foods coming when you are properly dressed for it� The top of the hood is clipped back then his hands run something round my waist. This belt is tighten then I feel it pull me up and back, oddly this helps my knees because the weights be shifted off them. One more belt is passed round my chest and pulled up so that it takes some of the load from my arms. I'm truly helpless... I can speak or open my mouth, but no more. �Open wide� I do, can taste a combination of fingers and buttered white bread. �make sure you get the butter off my fingers� He didn't need to tell me twice, that was the best meal I've ever had. Then more bread, fingers and Marmite! I hate it and gave a loud 'urrrrgggg'. I was given a different bread, fingers and something every time... raw egg, pepper, garlic, ginger, horrible cheese, I let out a noise every time until we got to the chilli. Normally I can deal with hot food, but the flavours were all just to much like this and I spat it out. �Clearly you like it in there and want to stay� I feel a straw against my lips... �Drink this, all of it� I pout and start to suck on the straw... just water and what must have been a pint or so of it. �There are still a couple of bits that can move, soon as I've taken care of them your 45 minutes starts� For the life of me I couldn't think what he was on about. �Open wide� A gag is strapped into place, it's so big my mouth is held wide open. A hand firmly grabs my balls from behind... �These are going to stay.... abbooouuuttt here� He says as a rope is quickly looped round and pulled tight. Then I feel some pressure against my arse, some lube and the tip of a plug. I groan gently as it goes in and start to get hard again. �I said you were going to stay there... and that's movement. Soon fix that� I let out a massive yep into the gag as the rope round my balls is pulled hard. My eyes start to water inside the hood. I then feel the plug in my Arse gradually get bigger and bigger... it stops but I couldn't have taken any more. To cap if off my jaw was also starting to hurt. �Your time starts now� I try to shake my head or protest, but nothing happens, I couldn't move enough to gesture or make enough noise to speak. For the first couple of minutes I'm tense and trying to move, to fight but then suddenly I start to relax... I'm not completely comfortable, but I let the straps start to take my weight. More minutes slip passed, and I relax further, so the straps take all my weight and the plug is even less noticeable now I'm not fighting it. It starts to feel like I'm floating there, just fixed in nothingness. I even start to get drowsy after, errr... I don't know how long any more.

10. I'll be back I wake with a start as a hand strokes my arse, I forget where I am for a second and try hopelessly to move. �So you were sleeping in there, impressive. Not seen anyone do that in a very long time� The hand runs up and down the visible flesh on my back. �Time I woke you up, looks like you found some slack� I yelp into the gag as the rope attached to my balls is tighten up more, my heart jumps into my mouth again. The plug starts to grow and I realize I'm getting hard again. �You like that, don't you� I feel a hand on head, the gag loosens and then carefully slides out. I let out a gentle 'urrr' as I close and open my mouth a few times. The a hand gently rubs it on each side, I tough it with my tong as it massages my face. �You like how I taste� I get 2 fingers in my mouth, I close and start to such on them. I relax in to my bonds and start to let my self float there, just tasting his finger. The sensation is just indescribable, I just want to stay like this. But he takes the fingers away and asks... �Well do you?� I gently reply 'Yes Sir'. �Want to get out or want some more of me?� I say 'more please Sir' without even thinking about it. I hear I gentle chuckle and get 2 more fingers exploring my mouth, I start to explore each finger with my tong. As the fingers move out I can smell something, sweat, musk, something I like. I can taste it on the air as the fingers withdraw. �Tong out� I open wide and stick my tong out, for a few seconds nothing happens. Then I feel and taste a drop of sweat on my tong, I savour it there for a moment. Swallow it and stick my tong back out for more. �Good Lad� I get a few more drops, each feels more amazing than the last. I mumble 'thank you Sir'. He chuckles, then I feel skin and hair as the smell intensify s. I like it and lick what I think is part of his crotch. I feel him carefully turn round letting me run my tong round him as he turns. I cross one muscular thigh, then a pert arse cheek. He stops and moves back to plan his crack in front of my tong. I strain to move to get further in, he starts to bend forwards and press his hole to my mouth. My tong stay push out as far as I can keep it, the sensations are incredible. I'm just a tong floating in space, everything is about the sensations from it. I push it into his arse as hard as I can. I hear him almost purr like a cat as push and push again. He slowly stands up so I run my tong up his crack. �Very Good Boi, more� I gasp 'God, Oh please, more, that's awesome Sir' I hear him laugh. �You've turned into my personal slut, anything just for my attention. Could get to like that� I stick my tong back out, he chuckles. Then I feel some more skin, softer than before. I work my tong round it and realize it's his cock head. I try to move closer so I can reach more but can't do anything. I think he see that I tried and un-clips the hood so I can move my head a little. His cock head is big, but not massive. Now I can move my head a little I work my way round as much as I can reach tasting every square millimetre. �Want more of that to� I lick my lips 'Please Sir'. �You will have to pay for it later, you don't get that for free boi� I hesitate, I want to ask what the price will be. Then I reply 'Can I please have your cock Sir, I'll pay later however you want' He laughs out loud and I can feel his dick on my tong and the edges of his cut cock head on my lips. I gently close my mouth on it and lick the tip as I do. I stretch my neck to get more, then relax back as he edges closer. I can feel him getting harder and his cock growing in my mouth. He starts to thrust back and forth, gently at first then harder and deeper as he becomes fully erect. I get a nose fully of his mush every time he leans in; the taste and the aroma of him is everything in that moment. I gag a little is he leans in further each time, I can't move back but I don't want to; every time he leans in a little more, for a little longer. I gag more every time but start to time my breaths to fit between thrusts. As he pulls back I feel a hand under my chin, then the collar is removed. �Close your eyes and keep them closed� He leans right in, I gag, I choke, I can't breath, my mouth, my throat is full of his dick. His hands work quickly on the back of the hood as I start to panic because I can't breath. He moves back just long enough for me to take a breath then back into my throat again. Then next time he moves back the hood goes with him, drops to the side. He quickly grabs my hair and pushes his dick back into my gasping mouth. If I'd been able to move my arms I would have pulled him closer, I'm rock hard and all I want is his cock in my throat. He keeps hold of my hair and uses it to move my head to where he wants it. I start to taste his pre-cum as he chokes me with dick again and again, every time he dose I keep my lips tightly clasped to it. He leans in one more time, pulling hard on my hair as I choke on his dick. I start to fight it, try to push it back with my tong. I feel like I'm about to black out when I feel a judder and his cum in the back of my throat. He withdraws to leave his cock head resting on my tong, I gasp for air as the last few spots drip there. I start to lick his cock as I catch my breath, he lets go of my hair and steps away. �You can open your eyes now� I blink in the light as he walks off behind me. So I still don't get to look at him. �I'll be back to get you out when I've cleaned my self up�

11 . Until next time. I hear a shower run somewhere near by, it stops very soon after and I hear him approach. His towel brushes passed my face as he silently works his way round the cage, first loosening then releasing each strap and tie in turn. As I start to move I realize I must have been there longer than expected as my muscles ache as I start to move again. He releases my head and neck back in to the cage, at last I look-up to see him. Clearly about my age and wait I know that face... I quickly look back down, then up. I do know him, just... �You know I nearly walk up to you to say hello that first day at the band stand� he pauses as he un-clips my hands from the corners of the cage. �I walked passed at 10, then back passed about 5 minutes later to do a double take; that's why I left you hanging there for so long�. He pauses behind the cage and un clips my feet, picks something up and circles to the front again. Leans in to look me in the face and sits a glass of water in the cage. �Sit down, drink slowly; I'm a long way from done with you� I turn my self over slowly and lean against the side of the cage. This time without lumping it with an elbow; the benefit of eye sight. �Took me ages to realize where I knew you from, thankfully my pup working in the post office. So asked him to pop in to work on his morning off and get the name from the box you sent home� After everything else today, I'm barely disturbed by the fact he's been investigating me and sip the water still looking at him puzzled but knowing the face. �The name didn't help me remember, but your facebook page did� I take another sip of water and start to regain some more of the scenes that had switched off a little while earlier. I can't think of anything on my facebook page that helped me identify him. But I still know that face from somewhere. He drops a key on to the cage floor in front of me. �Take the cuffs off, don't think you'll get out of there without them.� I finish the water and slowly start to remove the cuffs. He walks over to a side board while I'm distracted and returns camera in hand. �The price for sucking my dick is a smile� he chuckles but can probable see I'm not that comfortable with the idea. �It's just for my private collection, a keep sack of an entertaining day� I drop the cuffs our to one side of the cage as he takes the first picture. I didn't smile � �On your knees, hands behind your head. And smile for me, or I'll find another price for tasting me that you won't like� I do as I'm told, even manage a nervous smile for him this time. �Better� I can see him smiling back at me, the nerves melt slowly as a few more pictures are taken. �That's adorable, now turn round and show me that nice red backside. On your knees, look back over your shoulder at me.� He's really enjoying it and I want to please him. Before long he opens the cage and I continue to model in different positions bent over the cage, leaning on it, laying on the floor looking up at him. We must have been taking pictures for 20 minutes of so, he had 100's by the time he was happy. He points to a chair by the wall with a bag on it �Home time, get dressed. I'm going to do the same, wait there when you're done.� He heads out the door and leaves me to it. I fish my things out of the bag, dress and stand there. He's soon back, hands me my car key and... �You'll have to take me back to the station so I can collect my car, yours is in my barn. It's this way� He gestures towards the door. �Move it bitch� He stops to lock up as we emerge from what turns out to an old farm building that had clearly been converted into a house. Outside was a tarmac driveway, lawns, boarders, hedges all enclosed by mature woodland. All looking a little wet and winter like. Even so it was dence enough to keep any prying eyes from looking in. We follow the drive way to a t junction under the trees and turn left, just ahead of us was the barn. We all to soon reach my car he issues 'Left here' and 'next right' orders until we are back at the station. �I have your details, will be in touch when I want you back for a longer visit. � He steps out of the Car, but leans though the door. �and if you don't turn up all the pictures end up on your facebook page. Take care boi� He shuts the door, heads to a Range Rover in the corner of the car park. Gets in and drives away while I'm still sitting there wondering what just happened. A few seconds later I drive away and head for home.

I search for the house on line when I get home only to discover it's a holiday let, an expensive one. With little else to go on I soon abandon trying to identify him. 12. you can't fault me Several days go by, I pack and leave my parent home and go back to my pathetic flat. I get back in to my usual routine of work by day and dinners for one by night. A week passes, then two it isn't long before the end of January passes. On a rare night out with friends the subject on the holidays comes up; I tell them a little about what I did. They are a little taken back that I did that; but one of them quips �I'm not surprised, it's always the quiet ones�. Other than getting a few more off the cuff remarks not much is said. February turns into March; the days get longer, so I'm able to get out for a run after work when the weather lets me. I'm back trawling the adverts and the dating sites looking for something / someone to share the evenings with; I even joined a couple of the darker kink sites to try to re-live my christmas/new year treat. I chat to a few people on line, but fail to find or connect with anyone new as the weeks go by. 2 months have gone by, The is a message from [email protected] with the subject 'Your Recent Interview'. Then... 'Boi, After conducing several first round interviews with numerous prospective candidates I have decided to put you though to the second round. This will involve a detailed examination of all the attributes you displayed during your first physical. It will also require that you attend a short training course lasting 4//5 days in order to ensure you would be ready to perform all the duties required should a long term contract be offered. If you wish to continue text 'round 2 please' to my number or reply to this message. Regards Sir (John)' I find my heart in my mouth again for the first time in two months just from an e-mail. I reply immediately... 'round 2 please Sir'. Then realize it says 4 or 5 days, guess I was taken by the moment or the chance to see him again. He has also given me a clue about his identity, it's not long before I'm looking at facebook for every John connected with every friend I have on there. Other than wasting hours and getting me to bed late I find nothing useful. Guess he'll tell me when he's ready. The next morning I arrive at work looking like a zombie but still buzzing a little because my mystery man had been back in touch. I drag my way to 5pm, skip my run and return home early. (69) (id: deleted: jabril) deleted: jabril Fri 20/7/12 20:39 There was a new message from [email protected] among the other rubbish in e-mail, it had only arrived there just after I got home. 'Boi As the first to accept the round there are 3 available dates for you to choose from, these are listed below. On the start date in question you will be expected to arrive at 'Ilseworth' Train station for 11am. You are to wear a T-shirt, jeans, socks, shoes and nothing else; you are to carry a rucksack containing: 1 toothbrush 1 clean set of underwear 1 clean pair of socks Your house keys � in the bag only Your mobile phone � in the bag only Your return train ticket (5 day return) � in the bag only When collected from the station you will be expected to hand the bag over; you will be searched and any items on your person will be disposed of. 5 days / 4 nights later you will be returned to the station and given the bag back. Date options �..' I replied to pick the middle option only to notice a second message subject PS. 'PS Have you worked out how you know me?' I also reply to this message, simply 'No Sir'. No more message appear, so I look to see where the station is; cause I've never heard of it. When I look it's on a remote stretch of the south coast. The tickets not cheap with 2 changes etc... I'm going to be up in the middle of the night to be there for 11am... first trains just after 5 in the morning to get there in time. Next morning I have a spring in my step when I arrive at work, the first thing on my addenda � book a weeks holiday towards the end of march. I get a 'whats gotten in to you since yesterday' from the guys there. I tell them a good nights sleep, but I knew different. Two reply messages were waiting when I got home. The first simple says booked � see you at 11am on the Monday morning. The reply to the PS was more interesting.... 'Boi, In that case lets play a game. You guess how/where from; for every wrong or fluffy guess you give me you pay either with either your arse or mouth. If you work it out you win a day of pleasure; by that I mean I'll find as many ways to make you cum in 1 day as is possible. Just to give you a fighting chance I'll give you a clue for every 2nd wrong guess. Regards Sir' I want this guy, so I start coming up with deliberately wrong guesses to force him to have sex with me... not sure if that's wrong, but you can't fault me for trying. 13 See You Tomorrow Over the intervening weeks we trade messages every day, mainly as I try to guess who he is. My first couple were of guesses were clearly very wrong even a little silly. Both wrong, so I ask for my first clue. His e-mail back... 'Boi If you don't take the game seriously I'll find a way to make you regret it. You've already had your first clue Regards Sir (JOHN)' I should have asked for my next clue, not my first. I try more complete but serious guesses about school and same swimming teacher... I don't want him calling the game off, I want him at the end. 'Boi Both wrong, that makes 4 I have to reclaim how I see fit. Your clue is that we never had the same teacher to the best of my knowledge. Regards Sir' That rules out my next few ideas about what to suggest. I go with shopping at the same supermarket � not that I think it's likely, because of where we are meeting. Also try same church � cause I was in the choir when I was young. 'Boi I didn't know you were a church mouse! I don't do my own food shopping. That makes 6; you are thinking back to far. I didn't meet you until after you finished school. Regards Sir' I automatically think about university, but we never had the same teacher or so he says. Maybe that was a clue in more ways than one. I was in 4 sport or social clubs there, I list off all 4. 'Boi You skipped a clue this time, and you were wrong so that makes 10. Just so you don't forget again you don't get one this time. Next two boi? Sir' I haven't got a clue, literally. So wonder where else he could know me from... eventually ask if he worked at the place my car came from � as I had posted about that on Facebook. Also ask if he's a member at the same Gym, cause that's there to. 'Boi No, but good to know you keep fit. That makes 12 � you must really want the prize to keep guessing. Your clue is that we have been in the same place for the same reason. Sir' That could mean any where or when and I'm almost out of days until we meet again. So if I'm going to guess it needs to be soon. Works busy, because I need to finish things in time for the week off so keeps me from thinking about it to much. Do we drink at the same pub or are you a customer where I work are my next guesses. I don't get an e-mail back until the Saturday before our meet. 'Boi Been busy packing and working, both wrong makes 14. Your clue is that you are getting warmer! Ready for Monday? Sir' I'm quick to reply with the names of 2 places I go to drink with friends and to say yes if a little nervous about spending that amount of time with him. 'Boi You'll be fine so long as you behave, cold again so 16. Regards Sir' Must know him from work some where, I can't place him there. I know all the people in my office; would even say I know all the faces in the building. Maybe he works at one of the other companies that share the site. So I make them my next 2 guesses. 'Boi That's 18 now, but you are so very close. You can have 2 more guesses but I won't tell you if you were right until we meet. Regards Sir' My last message.. 'Sir I don't think you work for the same firm as I do, but I'll make that one of my remaining guesses. Otherwise do you work for the parent company? See you Tomorrow. Boi'

14. Not another box. My alarm goes off in what feels like the middle of the night, i've hardly slept because i'm nervous. I pull the cloths on I laid out last night, I must have checked the pile of stuff 5 times yesterday to make sure I haven't put something on or in my bag that i'm not allowed to. I'm the first person in the station car park, I walk over to the ticket machine and slot my card in to collect the ticket I'd already ordered. I dropped it in my bag and crossed to the far platform to wait for the first train south. No one speaks to me even to check the ticket for the duration of the 3 hours, it's dark and I mainly doze until I'm at the end of the line. At 8am I'm finding my way across the city using the tube, by 8.30am I'm heading up to the over ground stations and out towards the coast. Two more changes of train later, I'm nearing my stop before the phone goes off. Withheld � Much much closer guesses last night boi but still not correct, makes 20. Must know me from work... but how? The phone chirps again. Withheld � See you at the station in 10min. I stop trying to work out where I know him from as the sudden reality of the situation hit's me. What am I letting my self in for, what was I thinking? I get the last minute jitters only ten times worse that I have ever managed before; I was starting to panic when I got another chirp. Withheld � Drink your water. Some how that calms me down, not even sure why. But I sip the rest of the water as the train pulls in, I dump the bottle in the bin as I get off. I walk in to the station building and out the other side into the car part to wait. I hope I won't be out side to long, it isn't to warm and I soon feel the cold. A minibus with darkened windows parks facing away from me on the other side of the car park. Withheld � Your ride has arrived. Get in the rear door, close it behind you and sit down. The driver will bring you to me. I calmly walk up to the bus and try the rear door. It won't open, then I hear a central locking motor pop the lock open. I try again and it opens, so I hop in and shut the door. I hear it lock behind me as I take the first available seat � back row across from the driver. Normally I'd have gone further forward, but the middle row of seats walled me in to the back part. He says nothing and starts the engine. His phone chirps, then mine. Withheld � Seatbelt. The instant I click the belt in the bus starts to move. I try to look at the driver, but can only see the back of his head and some of his white top from all the way at the back. Think he might be wearing sun glasses to; but I'm not sure. Thankfully it's nice and warm in here, in fact very warm. I start looking round and out of the windows as the bus finds it's way out of town and on to the main road. Firstly I notice that all the seats in the middle have been removed, just leaving the split back row and the full row that is ahead of me. I also spot that one of the seat belts in that row is pulled down so lean forward to see why. To my surprise there is a large ish brown/grey file box strapped to the seat. It's the kind with hand holes on either side � foolishly I lean further forward to try to look in one of them. Then I notice that it's got my name on the label. I remember what happened the last time I opened one of his boxes and think equal amounts of glee and horror 'Oh no, another box'.

15. The pup hadn't got a clue. Withheld � in 5 min the bus will stop, the driver will leave. You will climb over in to the seat in front of you. Then open the box for more instructions. My eyes instantly turn back to the box in front of me, I crane my neck trying to look in the handle hole. The bus breaks and turns down a side road that takes it up hill, steep enough to make the engine struggle and push me back into my seat. We crest the hill and sweep down into a quiet valley with the odd building nestled among grass fields, hedges and farm animals. The bus turns back up the hill along a farm track eventually coming to rest next to a cow shed. The driver gets out, locks his door with the key and leave the key on the window screen where I can see it. He gets on a scooter thats parked ahead of the bus, puts a crash helmet on that is sitting on the handle bars and rides back passed the bus and off behind me to the road. I scramble over the top of the row of seats and come to rest sitting next to the box. There is an envelope marked read me taped to the side, so I open it and take out the note in side... 'Boi You've taken a big step forward coming here like this, so you have earned a reward. If you want to leave now open the door and walk away, otherwise follow these steps to collect it. 1 � sit in the middle seat. 2 � place the box at your feet. 3 � empty it to your right. 4 � put your bag to the left. 5 � strip to your socks, putting everything you take off in the box. 6 � turn your phone off and put it in the box along with your bag. 7 � put the box on to the far left seat. 8 � place the shackles behind both front legs of you chair and lock your feet in. 9 � seatbelt on. 10 � one set of handcuffs per wrist. 11 � hood on. 12 � then cuff your arms to the far left and right head rests. I'll be watching and bring your rewards with me. Sir' I follow the instructions to the letter, it's not until I drop the hood on that I start to feel nervous again. But I quickly cuff my left hand and stretching right can just push the other cuff closed on to the head rest with my now shaking hand. The reality of the situation sinks in, naked, restrained, alone and don't know where I am. I panic and pull at the cuffs, try to kick out. I can't and that only makes it worse, but then I hear the side door open and that familiar voice. �Look who we have here then� - as he climbs in and sits to my right. �no need to panic, you're safe� - he sits back against my arm. �Sit� - I hear someone else climb in the door and sit on the floor. He puts his arm round me, I instantly relax. �There boi, much better now aren't you� I rested my head over on to his shoulder with a quiet 'yes Sir'. I then feel a nose in my crotch. �This is Ethan, you 2 half met before. He is one part your reward for getting here� He removes his arm, I feel hands gather the hood at my neck � then a strap fasten under my chin. �The collar is yours to keep, you might even get to see it later� He reaches behind my head and clips the collar to the head rest. Then runs his hand down my chest, across my torso, in to my crotch where he cups my balls. It's then I realize how horny and adrenalin fuelled I am. He gives a gentle squeeze as I writhe in the chair. �Ethan, I want these empty. He's all yours for an hour, no biting or you won't get to cum all week.� I hear a whimper. �OK pup, you can nibble but no bites. I like this one� He likes me, awesome! He gives a hard squeeze so I cry in pain, but soon lets go. He talks in my ear. �There is no one in side 4 miles, so no need to hold back. Scream if you want� Then he giggles, tightens the collar and moves to a different seat. I feel Ethans hands on my knees, as he licks my balls, then crotch, belly button and up to my nipples. I can feel his smooth face come to rest on my chest where he genty chews one nipple then the other. He works my dick with one hand while he licks ever available inch of my flesh. I know I'm close and try to fuck his hand. He notices to and just about gets his mouth in to position to lap up my mess. I feel Sir squeeze my balls hard again. �Plenty left, again Pup� Ethans hands now worked over my body while he sucked. He pinched me, crushed and twisted my nipples the more I cried out the more Sir just laughed in the background. He let this Pup's game of agony and ecstasy continue for maybe 2 hours. Just stopping for a hard squeeze every now and then. By the time Sir called a halt I'd cum 3 times, got cramp in in places I didn't know existed and would have said exhausted if I'd been asked. Not that I was. �Put his shoes back on him and clean him up, I'll get the last part of his reward from the glove box� A minute or two and a hand full of wet wipes later my flaccid penis was clean, my shoes were on and the collar was unclipped from the chair. My head slumped forward as Sir returned. �Good pup, you enjoyed your self didn't you. Wait outside.� Sir grabs my balls again, but this time he pushes them into something metal; he quickly finishes doing what ever it is. When he has I can feel metal encasing my man parts and hear locks snap shut there and under my chin. He loving rubs my arms as he unlocks them, then my legs. Lastly he helps me to my feet, un- tucks the hood to greet me with a huge smile quickly followed by a deep passionate kiss. All my Christmases arrived at once, I could live in that moment for ever. �Ethan, drive us up the the house� �You need to practice, it's only a little way up the track. You'll be fine� He turns out to look like blond bad boy pop idol type and is looking a bit of a mess � my fault I'm sure. Sir sits me down in his arms as Ethan shunts the bus back and forth up the track. The Pup hadn't got a clue how to operate a clutch, we stalled 4 times. Clearly he had other attributes.

16. The door shuts. Minutes later we shudder to a stop outside a white painted farm house with outbuildings, garden and other things beyond. 'Ethan, take this one to the kitchen and show him where things are. He can make the Tea while I put the Bus away and file his box' With that the side door to the bus is opened and Sir helps me off the step. 'Milk and none for me, the pup takes 1 sugar. Get yourself something to.' With that the Pup shrugs he head to his right to started round the side of the house as Sir started the bus shunted off towards a barn. I'm all but naked and it's cold so I start after the pup and quickly follow him into the side of the building, up 4 stone steps and into house. We stop in a utility room where he takes his shoes and socks off � he says nothing and just stands there until I follow suit. He then moves into the kitchen beyond � it has a tiled floor, but it's warm to the touch as I enter.

Ethan opens all the cupboards as he walks passed stopping to point at cups, glasses, containers marked Tea and Coffee. He closes the doors again, opens the fridge and puts a filter jug half full of water next to the kettle than stands and looks at them. I look at him and back to the kettle still expecting him to speak. I give up waiting after a few seconds and start making Tea and looking for mugs. While I busy my self he slips away into another room. I don't notice until I look round because I hear the door shut in the outer room. Sir walks in with a smile just as the Kettle clicks off. I fill the water jug and pug it back in the fridge to work as Sir sits down. �Looks like I have already found 1 more uses for you � Tea Boi. Bring mine here then you can drink yours sitting on the floor here next to me.� As he spoke Ethan returned completely naked and carrying a collar, I have to confess to tipping my head to one side to get a better look. He was one hung Pup. He knelt down at Sirs feet and held out a collar he had carried with him in to the room. �You don't get away that easy Pup, sit on the Chair and drink your Tea. When we are done I want you in your mitt's, muzzle, pads and puppy harness for the rest of the evening�

It was quiet clear that Ethan was happy about that; the smile was clear to see. I deliver both of them a Tea, then return with my own and sit on the floor next to Sir. �Bet you are glad this place has under floor heating� I smile and say 'Yes Sir' then sip my Tea. The same can't be said for Ethan, he's blowing on his Tea and trying to drink it as quickly as he can. Clearly he is looking forward to something and soon finishes. He starts to get up. �SIT, I said when WE are finished Pup. You are going to wait until we have both finished and I think you might have to have have a tail to. Just for impatience� Sir and I slowly drink the rest of the Tea. �Boi cups in the dishwasher� he points. �Then you'll have to see what else we have in store for you� I deal with the cups. �Both of you better come with me.� Ethan is close behind and I follow a few steps behind. We leave the kitchen into a dimly lit hall way with a couple of doors open to the rooms beyond. There are stairs going up to a landing with maybe 3 more doors visible. Sir opens the door below the stairs and steps down with a �

�Watch the first step, it's a little close to the door� He and the Pup disappear down into the room beyond. The cellar below the house was section off by dividing walls. The first room just had a couple of wooden benches, a large low table and some sort of side board. I passed them quickly in to the next room. This room had all kinds of things in it, more than my eye could take in... lots of small items all displayed in cabinets. Steel, leather, rubber... at one end a rail of hangers with god knows what on it. One end of the room contained a bed behind a set of bars with a small door in them � the cell was just bigger than the bed it contained. The middle of the room again had a large low table. �Welcome to the store room, every fantasy I've ever lived out or want to is stored in here somewhere boi� 'yes Sir' �In� he gestures passed me to the cage door. I turn, open the door and duck as I step in. Sir turns to one of the units and puts a hand full of items on the table. �Pup � on the table.� Ethan quickly complies as Sir comes up to the Cage. He closes the door and cluncks a big lock shut on the door. �If you forget to say yes sir when I tell you to do something again I'll punish you boi. Further more if you don't sit there and keep quiet you'll be spending the night in there with no bedding� 17 I call out again.

Sir returns to the table where Ethan is waiting. �Knee pads on� Ethan puts the pads from the table on. �Hands� He offers Sir his hands and they are quickly strapped into a set of mitts. �On your knees and open wide� Sir pushes what looks like a large mouth guard in to his mouth. �Close, in the right place?� Ethan nods and sir drops a muzzle over his head and works the straps tight. �Up, then give me a foot� With that Ethan stood, balanced on one foot to raise the other one. Sir moved next to him to steady him as he quickly fitted ankle cuffs. �Kneel on the table Pup, face the wall�

I see sir clip the Pup mitts to the far corners of the table, pick up another item then he stood behind the pup in my line of sight. He was there working on something to the rear of the pup for several minutes. �Now you can wait like that until I'm ready for you, one day you'll learn to be patient� Sir turns and walks towards me. �I'm going to take care of some business in the office, keep an eye on the pup for half an hour. He can't go anywhere, but shout me if he misbehaves� 'Yes Sir' - with that he leaves the room and leaves me locked in a cage looking at the Pup. I soon realize he has fitted a harness to the waist of the pup with a tail, the pups feet are clipped to the sides of it. The Pup is wearing a cock ring and he was closely trimmed everywhere I could now see. His knees are clipped to the rear corners of the table. He also has a wide belt that is pulled down to the table at each side that is making his backside point out and up. Lastly his muzzle is clipped to an exposed rafter, meaning his arms are stretched and his head was kept up. He was clearly enjoying it as much as I was admiring him. He kept trying to move and every motion made me wish I was free to go over there and stroke him. He was getting hard and trying to fuck the air with the little movement he had. That just made me want his Arse all the more; but it only served to remind me of the metal prison that was currently locked on to me.

I'm not sure about the amount of time that has passed, but I start to hear a gentle whimper from the Pup. I start to worry he has been stuck still for to long so I shout 'Sir, the pup is whimpering'. I don't hear any movement and am about to shout again when Sir appears at the door. �He can take hours like that Boi, he is just board and trying to get attention. Take no notice, I still have things to do� With that he disappears into the other room again. A few minutes pass and the whimpering starts again and slowly gets louder. Eventually I call out again 'Sir, the whimpering is very loud. Is there anything I should do?' A moment later Sir is back at the door.

18 A muffled yelp �Work is taking longer than I'd like, so the Pup will have to wait.� He pauses and looks thoughtfully round the room. �Unless you occupy him�. Then he giggles slightly. He crosses the room and hangs a chain from the rafter in the ceiling, then he opens the cage door. �Stand behind the pup� I walk over 'here Sir?' He puts a hand on my shoulder and moves to until my metal chastity device is almost touching the Pups balls. �There's the spot� He then clips the chain from the rafter to the back of my collar so I can't move any further forward. �Step back� I move back. Sir puts something round my middle, then fastens the straps. I glance down to discover an 8 inch long dildo poked out in front of me. �You don't touch the Pup with anything other than the dildo, use plenty of this� He hands me a bottle of lube, and walks round the Pup stroking his body. �The new boi is going to play with you, cause I have work to get on with� The pup shakes his head and whimpers while Sir unclips his tail and takes out the small plug. The Pup continues to whimper and shake his head.

�Boi step forward� I do and Sir guides the tip of the dildo into the Pups arse. �Boi remember no touching the Pup, but you must fuck him with the dildo until I get done for the evening. Use lots of lube; got it?� 'Yes Sir, fuck with lots of lube until you come back. Don't touch the Pub.' �Good Boi�, with that he headed out of the room to the sound of the pup whimpering more loudly than ever. I squeeze the lube onto the dildo and edge forward to push it slowly into the fidgeting, whimpering Pup trapped in front of me. I slowly move my hips to keep the dildo moving, the whimpering turns to heavy breathing as the bitch pup tries to fuck the air between his legs. I see he's enjoying it, so more lube and step closer still so I can thrust deeper and harder. I want to reach out and grab his hips, but remember my orders and keep my hands off him. I try to bend forward to adjust my action to get a longer thrust into him, but am yanked back by the chain on my collar.

The bitch pup realizes I can't get closer and actively attempts to move back towards me. This only servers to fuel me, but the growing pinching sensation from my metal prison holds me back. Minutes pass and i'm working up a sweat fucking Ethan with a dildo, he's liking it. I can't help my self, I drop the lube and run my hands over him then grab the pups hips with both hands. He frantically fucks the air as I now pull him back on to the dildo harder and faster than before. I'm choking slightly every time I move deeper in to him. The Pup whimpers, and snorts the air as he tries to get enough air though his nose. Suddenly he slows down and relaxes forwards, I stroke his back and sides while I slowly continue to thrust the dildo in and out of the pups back side. �I said no touching� - Sir barks from the door way. I let go of Ethan and step back quickly pulling the dildo clear and triggering a muffled yelp from him. 19 & sleep soon follows. Sir quickly detaches Ethan from the table and points to a corner. �Go� The pup walks on all fours to the corner and cures up on the hard concrete floor. Mean time Sir has detached my collar and is locking my hands in a set of cuffs. He gives no instructions, instead he grabs each hand in turn and bends me forward to clip them to the table where the Pups knees had been before. He removes the dildo harness from my waist. I must have made Ethan Cum, as there is a small puddle and drips on the table ahead of me. I let out a small smile, thinking that the pup had enjoyed it. �You like that sight? � he paused �WELL?� 'Yes Sir' �Clean up the mess you just made. Get your face down there and lick it up, then we'll see how much you like it� I hesitate for a second then very gingerly start to work up to a lick when a paddle the size of a cricket bat lands across my back side. I lift my head up as the second stroke lands and I let out an 'Ahhhh'.

�The longer you take to clean it up the more strokes you take� I get my head back down and start to lick the table furiously as the next few strokes land. When I'm sure the table is clean I lift my head. Sir leans over to check the table. �The strokes were for the mess� He unclips my hands and points to the open cage door behind me. �In� I walk over slowly 'yes Sir'. He locks the door behind me. �Now you get to watch what you would have received if you'd behaved. Then you can spend the night down here with a bucket for company� He returns to the table and calls the pup over and on to the table facing away from me. He removes the muzzle and the gag. Then turns the pup to face me as he opens his belt. Over the next hour or so I get to watch in envy as Sir fucks, gets sucked by and fucks again. That would have been me if only I hadn't tried to give the pup so much pleasure, now he's having all the fun. Soon after, Ethan is released and sent to wash the dirty toys and to fetch glasses of water. �Night boi, hope you don't get to comfortable�

With that Sir leaves the room, a couple of minutes later Ethan returns with water for me. He waits while I drink it, then out of the blue as he is leaving he speaks to me for the first time. 'Thanks for before with the dildo, sorry you are in the cellar for the night�. He flicks the light off, leaving the room almost dark. The light in the next room goes out plunging me into total darkness. I hear distant noises above me in the house as I feel my way on to the cot in the cell. It's tiny pillow and heavy blanket aren't to comfortable but are warm. It's been a long day of travel and I don't take long to relax in the darkness, some how the cage is reassuring and safe. Sleep soon follows.

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