#and i think thats bc they were good compassionate people from the start | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

syubub · 4 years

Text

NAMJOON SOULMATE READING

Disclaimer~ tarot is interpretation and it is in no way fact. Take it with a grain of salt and lets continue

Oki. Let me just say some words. I forgot to take a picture of the cards BUT I made a video? You might be wondering, "why a vid?" And I'd say, "idk, nan mola." I might post it (I'd definitely have to make a YouTube channel for that and I'm not really intrested in doing videos that often but I honestly thought, "hey I should record so its faster to write it down and make sense of my thoughts" and then I was like, "well, if I do a video then I won't have to type" and that was intriguing but the video was over an hour long and I go on so many tangents its nuts (also editing who? Don't know her) I think its also nice to have written out version that just gets to the point (I personally prefer written ones because I have the attention span of a fucking goldfish) So long story short. Maybe I'll upload it for those who want to watch but if I do, don't wate your time if you dont want to. All the key info is written here. blah blah blah let's get to Joonie.

Right off the bat I just want to say that both him and his soulmate have the same energy color. It's like a silver-white color? (This is just how I personally perceive energy) Through the process of connecting with Nams and his Soulmate, I envisioned him putting his hand up to mine as a way to I guess channel his energy to me? It was like a stringy thing on my palm and then I mirrored him putting his hand over his heart and then to his forehead and then he was gone? It was like he gave me a tether to his energy which hasn't really happened before. It still felt kinda distant but still like I was trustworthy enough to have a line to him? Idk if that makes any sense or not but there. Now onto the soulmate.

I got some messages from his soulmate. I feel like we had a weak connection that was only there because Namjoons energy let me into it. So the first message was, "You need to leave her" wut. I asked my guides like, "hey, do I need to write that down?" And they were like yeah fam you gotta. Okay. I have no clue. Part of me thinks it was more of a warning to joon. Maybe his soulmate is cautious of people poking around his energy idk. It could be anything. So there's that.

For the other messages I got, "open your mind more", "You're strong, don't be taken for granted" and "ones own soul" that last one makes no sense to me but maybe you need to have iq 148 or be the soulmate of Namoo to get it. I think the others make sense. They are pretty self explanatory.

Now, onto the cards. So knight of cups fell out and I was like ?? And I asked like, "what do I do with this?" And it was v clear that this is his soulmates personality. Like this card represents the soulmate. Now. This is VERY romantic. Romantic af is all over my notes. Also, Joon knows his soulmate. I'm pretty sure. That might come in handy later. This person is in touch with their intuition and emotions. They are compassionate and understanding as fuck. Also I touch with their more feminine energy. I also made a note for a possible career in the art field. V v v loving. Also a possible Taurus, Virgo or Air sign. (I lean towards virgo) personality cards are damsel, warrior, judge, gossip and destroyer. This person is very strong and helps to bring perspective. They have a way of making you think in a way you never had before. I wrote down, "its like panning for gold, you bring up a bunch of shit. Stir up the riverbed, to find pieces of gold". Its constructive and organized chaos. (Art???) They make you consider things with a more critical and objective eye.

Okay, so the next cards are kind what his Soulmate brings out in him/what they help joon with. Justice rev. King of swords rev. And queen of wands. So Justice rev. Represents a lack of accountability, unfairness, dishonesty and favoritism. So I think his soulmate essentially checks him when he gets to close to any of these things. Like his soulmate is all, "hey, you made a mistake. I trust you'll do the right thing and right your wrongs"like this person essentially helps to point out what he might be too close to see. King of swords rev. Represents quiet power, inner truth, misuse of power, manipulation. So with this, his soulmate helps him to discover his inner truth and quiet power but also when he gets too... into it... it can turn toxic and become manipulative and he can maybe use his power in a not so healthy way. I don't think its conscious but its there. And for queen of wands, it represents courage, confidence, independence, determination. This is so cute. His soulmate amplifies all of these amazing qualities that he already has in himself. His soulmate encourages and fosters these amazing qualities. Its so cute. Its hard to really convey the feeling but damn. Its cute as fuck.

As far as the relationship goes we had the world, 10 of coins, 9 of coins and 8 of wands rev. So. They rich. They are so abundant and this is in a sense of self sustainability and stability as well as in a family sense. Now now now. Everyone is curious about joon and if hes married with kids and what not. Idk. Thats my answer. Idk. But he and his soulmate will def have luck in the family department (child or no). Now. With the world and 8 of wands rev. There is a sense that they might be on pause or that they are waiting for something to end before the relationship reaches its full potential. Now. With the 8 of wands rev. It can mean rushing into something (like kids and marriage) and I think that joon and his soulmate are smart enough to know that it might not be responsible right now. OR they have already rushed into it and are now keeping everything private until BTS enlist and go on hiatus. The world symbolizes a completing of a cycle (successfully) so that drives home that they are haulted where they are until they can start a new chapter. There is also a chance that they are acquaintances or something but won't pursue a relationship until later on.

Now we have Play, Boundries and Protection. This is also about the relationship. They have a very strong respect for eachother so they have very strong boundaries and they protect themselves and eachother. It's very healthy.

Now we have progress not perfection, ready to love and prosperity. They are so so so supportive of eachother and encourage eachother to grow and be better people. They both also have gone through a period of learning that they are worthy of love. They also have a prosperity mindset. Its about abundance and being like, "wow, I have everything I ever could have asked for" and they are truly greatful for all that they have. Theres also a feeling of money guilt from Namoo but I'll not go on a tangent for that.

Now we have stop obsessing, stop whining, and stand by your commitment. essentially the world is scary and these cards are to Nams from his soulmate. They essentially mean, stop obsessing about what you can't change and don't wallow in it. It doesn't serve you. All you can do is move forward. Also, making good on your promises. Seeing shit to the end and not leaving unfinished business.

Now now now we have the physical qualities: serious, long hair, gifts, physical touch, feminine, music, music (again), introvert, romantic, sweet, playful (I think its intresting bc I have a lot of physical descriptions in my little cards but pulled more personality...)

And for little cards that soulmate wants Joo to know: faith, Fate, seek, healthy, selfless

Now now now now. We have the finishing oracle cards. Dream a beautiful dream and going beyond normal. These essentially talk about seeing beauty in chaos, letting things not go according to plan and being okay with it, seeing beauty as it is instead of trying to fit it into a box. One of my favorite sentiments is along the lines of not trying to fit the ocean in a teacup but rather learning to swim and not confining something so vast into a small vessel. Don't confine yourself to please others. Live on the fringe of normality and push boundries.

TLDR: Namoo has a sweet soulmate who wants him to grow and become a better person. Its super great and supportive and he and his soulmate probably read books together and have museum dates. Soft af. A subtle domestic love.

#bts tarot #bts #bts reactions #bts rm #bts imagines #namjoon #namjoon imagine

114 notes · View notes

spookyradluka · 3 years

Note

You've said before you struggle with low empathy, do you believe in the concept of morality? Sorry if this is a weird ask, I'm just curious about your thoughts because you've always been a pretty compassionate person when I sent asks in the past

Mmmm this might start discourse and/or make me sound bad bc i have a hard time explaining this properly but here it goes

Morality is a christian concept that i do not follow since my family left Catholicism when i was a young teen and i became a theistic satanist in the last 2 years

I go by ethics more than morality. If something seems unethical to me i dislike it. If its ethical to me i agree with it

When it comes to empathy, i dont feel what others feel, its hard for me to put myself in other peoples shoes and even harder for me to understand that people do not feel things the way i feel

Thank you. It took years of learning to be as compassionate as i like to think i am. That being said, I do over exaggerate my own reactions to try and match the people around me bc i unconsciously go into "masking" mode and dont want to seem abnormal so that can come off as fake even when i genuinely mean what i am saying. Thats why i started using tone indicators when i reply to posts (mostly from main) if i feel i sound sarcastic/snarky

Its something that is extremely hard and mentally draining for me. I do not have the mental capacity at this moment to do that irl so i come off as pretty cold and harsh. Im currently incredibly apathetic and basically on autopilot bc my own emotions were too much to handle with everything going on in my personal life and med adjustments and relapses

So full disclosure: i am an absolute trainwreck and will probably regret posting this lmao

Im working with a psych again to get me back to a good state but yeah. Sorry this kind of turned into a rant and i am sorry if this makes absolutely no sense and doesnt answer your question.

#anon #personal #schizo moment #schizo and autism moment tbh #is this a cry for help?#you decide #low empathy #schizospeaking #schizoaffective

6 notes · View notes

tcthestarswhclisten · 3 years

Text

( benedetta gargari, 23, cis female ) Welcome to Bainbridge University, THEODORA VAUGHAN WILLIAMS ! SHE is in HER SECOND year studying HISTORY and is from LONDON. They are known for being PERCEPTIVE, SOPHISTICATED, OVERLY SELF-CRITICAL, and HIGH-STRUNG. ( christiana, 21, est, she/her )

I’m not formatting this well because i dont care <3

Tw: mentions of emotional neglect and familial abuse, pharmaceutical drugs, anxiety, depression, chronic illness, and hospital

full name: Theodora Florence Vaughan Williams

Nicknames: Theo, some people say Thea, Teddy

pronouns: she/her

sexuality: bisexual

height: 5′6

favorite color: blue

favorite song: The Greatest Gift by Sufjan Stevens or firestarter by Haley blais bc it makes her feel like a main character lol

Personality:

There are mom friends right and I think she’s one of them?? she takes care of people, like James, who is a dumbass and she has to keep him from doing something too stupid. But she’s also pretty impulsive these days just trying to find herself and feel good things

no stranger to a good party, but she’s definitely introverted and it’s not her most preferred scene

she’s also incredibly competitive and a lil bit sassy and snarky bc she’s quite dramatic and we love that for her

theo tries to be a good and compassionate friend but doesn’t really know what being loved and nurtured looks like outside of like her brother b/c their parents are awful awful awful so she tries her best but doesn’t always hit the mark :/

Needs some softness

Little bit o’ backstory

Theo comes from a filthy rich family and she has one older brother s/o to archie! He’s pretty much all she had growing up !

Her parents were total show parent types, pushing them to be the best in everything they did. Theo definitely internalized that message and it’s like all she knows! She has always been super competitive academically. Like not personally, she’s not too concerned with being against others all the time, in fact she enjoys learning from others, but she’s been pushed so much into being the best bc shitty parents that she doesn’t know how to not compete. It’s just what she knows

They’re also awful and abusive! and for the entirety of Theo’s life, she’s been living almost exclusively in appeasing them and for her brother. In that sense, she has never really been her own person. Always instead trying to fit what others needed her to be: textbook golden child, perfect student,

Studied chem for years because she excelled in the sciences but her heart wasn’t in it!! Now she’s studying history bc after the stuff I’ll explain later she was just like ??? Fuck it I want to just do something fun and i think i like history? well turns out she LOVES it and feels alive kinda

Definitely was involved with the party scenes before this last year, although she’s not the biggest drinker or user of recreational substances.

A couple years ago, Theo started developing really terrible anxiety, as well as being constantly exhausted, achy, and physically ill. It all kind of threw her into a rly dark place (like at its worst she was definitely pretty disconnected from reality) and at the end of the year prior to the last, she had a really bad meltdown that landed her in the hospital and she ended up spending the whole following year in and in medical facilities and she EVENTUALLY was diagnosed with POTS on top of severe anxiety and depression :/ this was thanks to archie’s persistence in getting a correct diagnosis after so long of dismissal from doctors and from their parents because he’s the realest and he understands what its like :( so bby is sick and tired but trying her best. Also her parents just think she has to get over it but that’s not how this works luvs

This year she’s just trying to find some semblance of normalcy but it’s hard to keep up and act normally! There’s v little energy but she’s TRYING. Also she’s just..,., trying to figure out who she is? In the last year she kind of discovered that she was her own person and what happened in her life has been trauma after trauma and she’s trying to figure out who she is! It’s hard because she’s also still trying to please people and be what people need her to be but hey thats what therapy is for.

She’s just trying her best. Probably spending a lot of time studying because she’s a nerd and actually finding personal gratification in her studies now!

Side note she really finds linguistics fascinating and like still a bit of a chem nerd bc she identified with it and thats a mess

Pretty high strung these days but as i said shes still trying to be normal. A lot more impulsive than she used to be bc while she’s trying to like heal and shit she’s also trying to not be in pain so she probably tries

I’m still figuring her out dont @ me

Wanted:

Academic “Rivals” bc its one of the only things that make her feel alive

Idk just love her she needs it

#bainbridgeintro #love me please #please #im in need

3 notes · View notes

throwing-summers-at-the-walls · 4 years

Note

Hello half valid anon here (i like my nickname 😂). I got through all your fics and they were all great. Right now im just reading a lot of poi fanfics and watch fanvids cause i can't accept that the series is over 😂 --- i know what you mean about fics affecting you negatively. I had this with 13rw (the Show and some fics) everything was so dark and hopeless that i had to stop watching it. I also love to seek out fics where someone is hurt so i can feel my pain through the characters (1)

But i try to read only fics with lots of comfort so it kinda feels like i get comforted as well (dont know if that makes sense). If it makes you uncomfortable or if its unhealthy for you to write about this i completely understand and i dont mean to come of as pushing you to write. I just hope whatever you do will be the right decision for you! As for you feeling suicidal im sorry to hear that. Let me know if there is ever anything i can do to help! I wish i could say sth more comforting but Im not super good with words :( i just hope you have people in your life that support you! 💛

maybe root will grow on you too? Or maybe you can skip her scenes and enjoy John, Harold and most importanly Bear! 😂 Yeah Shaw definately looks really good. She is a bit like Reese minus the caring. At first it seems she doesnt care about anything at all but thats not exactly the Case. There was an episode with Shaw and a little girl (3x5) and i really loved it (have you seen that one?).

I really think Shaw would grow on you (especially since in the beginning she does a lot with John) but then again a lot of her later scenes include Root so im not sure. Yes i love that there were never any romantic undertones with her and John!!

yeah the core four were great. I was so sad when Carter died! :(

i guess everyone sees chemistry different, i think Shoot and Rinch post have great chemistry ☺️

as for John being good with people: YES!! he is always so compassionate and such a great listener as well. I especially like him with children. John and the baby were so cute or John with the boy who offered to pay for him. John + Kids was always a great combination and i wished we would have seen it more often. Also regarding children we did we never got to see a John Taylor scene after Carters death? I needed that!

yes John the badass is also amazing! His character has so many different sides and i love him so much!!

i think Grace Harold was really cute but i dont really see a future for them, i mean he lied to her for so long! but then again they really loved each other so idk maybe they work it out. Im also not into John/Harold/Grace but like you said good for the people who like the ship :)

John and Zoe were great! i wish Zoe would have appeared more often!

I have so many things to say about John and the boring therapist but i think i better not say them :D i wish i could just erase their relationship from my mind!

of course he didnt die! i didnt see a dead body so i refuse to believe he is dead! i also just wanted them to be happy. what kind of an ending is it to let the main character die? i refuse to accept this! -- thank you for the rec i will check it out :) while i do like fluff i mostly read h/c (with the focus on the comfort) cause i just want John to get his much needed comfort :D -- i have no idea where season 1 is supposed to be boring. but idc the people can live with their wrong opinions :D

(today: tumblr user nourann3 discovers the option to indent text after almost 5 years on tumblr...)

Hiii !! It is a very valid nickname 😂 That's nice !! Hmu if you want more recs ! Lol same honestly, I can't believe it's been 4 years since the show ended ! I can give you a link to my poi/Rinch fanvids playlist if you're interested 👀

Oh boi 13rw is so cursed, can't believe I watched all of the 1st season 😬 I remember being afraid of the suicide scene making me uncomfortable but it was so cringe, unrealistic and just bad that I wasn't even that uncomfortable, I cringed when she cut her arms but that's it.

Yeah big mood I project a lot on comfort fics as well. For suicide fics, I think it also depends on how the fics adress the subject. It's something that is complicated to write. If I read a suicide fic with no recovery I'm gonna project but feel like shit. But with recovery, I can project into the recovery as well so it's better ! I read a really good ace attorney fic showing Miles recovering after a suicide attempt, it was thoughtful and didn't fall into the pitfalls of magical super fast recovery/love heals everything, and some lines stuck with me, it was really good and comforting. But yeah if it's just a suicide/suicide attempt then I don't think it's good for me (but sometimes I still read it bc I'm a Dumb Bitch).

Dw you didn't come off as pushing 💜 I'll see how I feel about continuing it or not. I have to figure out if writing about suicide is positive or negative for me 🤔 I mean I'm not portraying John's suicidal crisis as a positive thing, and he reaches out to Harold, and considers he might get better so I don't think it's bad for me ? Another problem is that I have a tendency to drop my wips to write a new shiny idea I get, and then I never finish anything gkgkffjfjf I dropped the suicide fic for the body horror fic which I dropped for the time loop fic, and there's also the hanahaki fic I started last year but I haven't touched in months, plus a bunch of random shit floating around OneDrive lmao someone stop me

What helps the most is venting, just getting that shit out is helping y'know. I appreciate your support ♥️ at least it's not as bad as it used to be

I doubt Root will grow on me, catch me watching her scenes at 1.5 speed lmao, also yes you bet I'll enjoy watching them !!

Yes I remember that ep ! Iirc the little girl tells Shaw she has feelings but the volume is lower than in other people or smth along those lines ?

I hope she'll grow on me bc she seems cool. I remember I was a bit afraid of her just becoming a sort of hollow copy of John, like "look we added another badass to the show". Seems to be more than that though ! Also I'm curious about their mayhem twins dynamic. But yeah if she has a lot of scenes with Root idk how much it'll annoy me

I feel like I wouldn't be able to get the Shoot chemistry bc I'm too biased against Root lol

Ikr the crossing hurt me so much. But thinking about it takes me back to my careese days and my first fics lol. I feel like the death of one of the core four + the abandonment of the library really alienated me from the show (did I already say that before ?). And here I'm gonna shamelessly derail from Carter to the library bc boiii do I have a lot of feelings about the library !! And you're here, talking about poi, so you're the perfect subject to throw these feelings at. This post really says what I feel about it (I'll put the link at the end as well if you wanna read it after you're done with this l o n g reply). It was in a way its own character and its forced abandonment/destruction really hit me (fucked me up when they broke that glass board). It says something that it's one of the few things I remember from S3 along with Carter's death and 4C. I loved it a lot, it was a cornerstone of the show. It was a safe place, a home for Harold and John (and Bear !). I love when they're together in there, I love this cracked glass board, this yellow stained glass in the windows !!! (at least I assume it's stained glass ?), these lights, Bear's cushion, the whole cozy/safe/isolated feelings, just absolutely everything. And yeah later they have the subway, idk when it's introduced I don't remember if it's early enough for me to have watched it. And maybe it's nice, I can't judge rn. But it's like trying to give me a new MC after a MCD, make him as nice as you want I'll be clutching the previous MC until I die. Gkfkfkff I went overboard and off topic but I just love the library ok

Ikr I love how he's badass but also gentle and understanding and nice to people ! I love him !!! Yeah wolf and cub is really good, also I love when John smiles to Darren at the end !! I use this moment as my pfp bc I love it so much. He's just so cute ! I wish he smiled more (did we ever hear him laugh in the entirety of the show ?). Baby blue is so great, Harold and him are such a married couple in this ep ! Yeah same more content with John and children would have been nice.

I never thought about how much we needed a John Taylor scene but yes !! We were robbed :((((

Speaking of John being a cool badass. Here's a badass John vid rec it's super good

youtube

Yeah they were cute in the past. I think it's good he went back to her bc it gives closure to both of them. But I don't see their relationship working again. She grieved, probably started to move on after all these years and knowing he lied all this time probably won't make her want to go back with him. I've never been in love so what do I know lol, but were I her I probably wouldn't want to go back with him and I'd just be happy knowing he's alive after all.

Same I need more Zoe (also she's hot)

Lmao let's just forget about that weird relationship shall we

Aren't we all the same, firmly believing he's alive and happy out there ! It was foreshadowed since the first ep and it made sense but do I care ? No, fuck that shit John is very much alive

You're welcome ! John needs all the comfort and the love !!! I think I have a preference for fluff bc he gets hurt enough in the show lol

Indeed they can, veryyy far away from us

Sry if this is shit I have like half a functioning braincell today

The post abt home bases I mentioned

#half valid anon #look you have your own tag #person of interest #tw suicide #i thought I was done but then i got feelings abt the library

3 notes · View notes

lets-talk-nonstop · 5 years

Text

WHY SAKURA IS NOT USELESS I STILL CANT BELIEVE WE ARE STILL TALKING ABOUT THIS

let’s talk about the all mighty queen Sakura Haruno.

it is the year 2019 i sit with my family. we talk of the good ol days. Playing sonic watching Naruto.

“My favorite character is Sakura”! I say l

“But she’s useless?”

She’s useless..and I hear this all the time oh she’s useless all she does is cry. But I think to myself have we read/watched the same thing? People say Sakura only got good in Shippuden, and I use to agree with that to. But it has been years and I of course have rethought that opinion. Sakura has never ever been useless and let’s discuss why.

Let’s start from the beginning a 12 year old girl from a civilian family becoming a ninja. No bloodline limit, no special family moves, no unique ninjitsu,taijutsu or genjustu(of course she gets skills unique to her later on). but a totally average girl with crush. I remember a lot of “Sakura is so annoying” expecting a 12 year girl to act like an adult lmao. of course Sakura has done some things that can be quite questionable mostly due in part to the writing. But she is just an average girl, she is a child. She gets annoyed,she can be obnoxious and immature but it seems like people glance over her compassion and determination.

Let’s go way back even more before the beginning of the show. a young bullied girl who became friends with Ino. To me this friendship was the start of what Sakura always wanted to be, a strong confident girl. And people need to understand that she did not become a ninja for Sasuke in any way her crush came later on. Ino is someone she looks up to. Ino who told her not to hide her forehead and to proudly display even giving her a headband to push back her bangs. Sakura eventually feels like shes in Inos shadow, she wanted to be Ino’s equal. The crushes they both had on Sasuke brings a wedge into their relationship but it wasn't everything. Ultimately their rivalry was to be better than the other, to grow.

I think Sakura in general was the most emotionally mature pre teen I’ve ever seen, and as the show went on she only got better and better. Her inner voice was something i loved about her, and it showed that she did pay attention to how others viewed her and how that can shape the opinions of others. She still held on to insecurities as any kid would. The only reason she would feel unconfident to state her opinions was because other people would put her down. She wouldn’t do things unless other people did them first. She didn't have a good support system other than Ino and her parents whom were not ninja themselves so were not able to really understand that part of her life. As much as I love kakashi he payed more attention to the boys and thats just that, the team was made to keep a closer eye on Sasuke in general. She did not think much of her self surely other people’s opinions must be better. I think at first she wanted to be a ninja to prove to others and her self that she could be strong. It was more for herself a bit selfish but I found that part her more interesting than any other goals her peers had because most of her classmates had expectations as clan leaders other than Sasuke and Naruto. But as many arcs happen she realizes how fucked up the ninja world actually is.

On their first mission she does not hesitate in protecting Tazuna even if she knows she can’t handle those two ninja. she’s the first to learn to tree climbing, amazing chakra control. Even that small scene of her giving a child food because who knows when he’ll have his next meal. She empathizes and that’s something that struck me about her bc in the show so far there was a lack of that(other than with Naruto). To me she is the glue and heart to team 7 because let’s face it if she wasn’t there most of it would have fallen apart.

The chunin exams Was the moment she got to truly shine. My girl took that test without a sweat when most people in that room came from ninja families and needed to cheat their way out. Not saying that that’s wrong that was the whole point of the test but she didn’t need to she was just that smart. And she uses the things she learns WELL. she is a genius on the battle field she is a quick thinker and comes up with brilliant plans even if she’s pushed to her end. Lets not forget the part that everyone remembers the most iconic moment where she cuts her own hair. She grew out her hair because she heard a rumor that Sasuke liked girls with long hair, and she cut it. That whole arc Sakura showed so much mental strength with everything going on. Naruto being passed out, Sasuke getting the curse mark, being constantly on edge, surrounded by plenty of dangerous people Attacking teams for fun. But she took charge and took care of her teammates even if she was weaker than anyone else she didn't care. Her fight with Ino one of my favorites from the Exams in general. She makes it clear that this fight wont be about Sasuke which people for some reason seem to forget!! Ino doesn't expect Sakura to even be a match to her and she fights with Equal fever and manages to break out of Inos mind jutsu. If you call her useless after that then idk what you’re watching at this point. That whole arc was just loving Sakura hours.

Getting towards the end of the first part of Naruto, Sakura realizes that she cannot get by merely with book smarts. Not downplay her already very honed skills. It would be a crime to not mention how she notices things (like the genjustu during the chunin attack) extremely quickly with not a lot of prior experience. The tension is rising for her teammates and Sasuke leaves. Even after all that Sakura picks her self up and vows to become stronger. She trains under Tsunade. Shippuden is filled with many more gems on Sakuras part. This is already very long so I’ll keep this short to name a few.

-Her fight with Sasori an Akatsuki member.(she was 15) -Taking the poison out of kankuro when no one else could. - Inner Sakura only makes an appearance once in Shippuden which shows she is much more confident in stating her opinions and reacting more freely. - Feels extremely guilty about Naruto putting his life on the line for her. Tries to confront Sasuke to deal with him herself so Naruto Doesn’t have to. Even if that was the man she has loved her whole life. -Healed Karin an enemy -Became one of the leading members of the war ( at this point I definitely believe she had already surpassed Tsunade) -Noticed that Neji was not actually Neji in like literally under a minute - Mass healing -Physically pumping Narutos heart like holy shit. - Saving Sasuke with he remaining of her chakra -Strength of hundred seal - PUNCHED A GOD IN THE FACE -RAISED A CHILD ALONE -OPENED A CLINIC FOR CHILDREN’S MENTAL HEALTH AFTER THE WAR, AND GOES TO SUNA TO HELP START THEIR OWN METAL HEALTH CLINIC

ALL BEFORE THE START OF EVEN BORUTO, AND HOW MUCH SHE HAS DONE IN THAT STORY ALREADY.

SAKURA HAS NEVER BEEN USELESS. PEOPLE THINK SO BC SHE CARES.

Ninja aren’t suppose to show emotion but fuck that noise Sakura will always be compassionate, helpful, and dedicated, and you can’t stop her. People call her useless bc she wasn't as flashy as the boys and held onto that nonsense thought since the beginning. If it wasn't for her thousands of people would be dead, Including plenty of main characters like Natuto, Karin, and Hinata to name a few. Give her the credit she deserves and stop calling her useless bc she was 12 and was taught basic ninja skills.

#Sakura Haruno #sakura #Naruto #naruto shippuden #Sakura hidden #ANYWAY LOVE THE QUEEN SAKURA #i never mentioned i wish she had gotten with ino lol I only liked sasuke till liek almost halfway of shippuden

8 notes · View notes

orchidbreezefc · 6 years

Note

bih you already fucking know all the charas im gonna list but here ya go: izuru, nagito, sigma, junpei, magnus, juno, twogami, juuzo (dr), yomo

holy SHIT helEN THERES FOUR FOR EACH YOU KNOW THAT RIGHT

(contains spoilers for all these series, but please do not give spoilers for zero time dilemma, we are only partway through ;w; no spoilers for penumbra podcast either please)

izuru kamukura (dangan ronpa):

A (realistic): he actually likes sakuramochi just fine, it's hinata who hates it for Trans Reasons

B (funny): hinata is pan but izuru is like, a little boy crazy??? hes just really into dudes. chiaki is an exception.

C (sad): he’s not actually stoic or emotionless so much as deeply depressed and desperate for anything to break through the lack of interest. he’d engage in a lot of risky behavior for the thrill if he had the motivation.

D (my city now): he and hinata become a beautiful binary system with medium length hair everyone can fuck off

nagito komaeda (dangan ronpa):

A (realistic): he gets a seRVICE DOG

B (funny): he then sternly tells hinata to do his part as a dog parent and badgers him about child support

C (sad): he had to go on a helicopter once when a ship wasn't an option and he shook with fear the entire time. hizuru held his hand all the way through it. (everything turned out fine)

D (my city now): future foundation medics find cancer treatments that keep his lymphoma under control. if he were cured hed be fucking terrified his bad luck would kill everyone and hed probably flee the country, but hes not cured. just under control.

sigma (zero escape):

A (realistic): he's silly but has a good head on his shoulders. in school he's kind of a class clown type but he gets solid grades.

D (my city now): he awkwardly apologizes to the ladies for hitting on them all not realizing what it looked like and luna already knew his deal so she says she forgives him and kisses him on the cheek and he explodes

B (funny): he does the same thing to alice and shes like ‘you didnt really hit on me though’ and hes like ‘oh? well i thought about it. a lot’ and she slaps him

C (sad): in ztd, phi misses the sigma she met. she’s used to a silly but wildly inappropriate old dude, she doesn’t like this serious and stoic young dude. it’s really uncomfortable.

junpei (zero escape):

A (realistic): he uses hair gel 😘

B (funny): he knows he’s hot, and he is INSUFFERABLY SMUG. ‘would you stop going around base with no shirt on it’s unprofessional’ ‘why akane does this BOTHER YOU *runs hand through hair and smolders*’

C (sad): he remembers every bad timeline from 999. you’d think he’d be haunted by like, clover with an axe, but mostly he has nightmares about snake caught in the coffin.

D (my city now): somebody in america taught him how to dress lmao

magnus burnsides (the adventure zone):

A (realistic): he's a dog person but he's ok with cats too. he's not good at treating them how they like, but he likes them. they remind him of taako.

B (funny): what if he was trans and had magic bottom surgery and became considerably bigger than average and thats why he always gets squawky when anybody implies anything about his dick size

C (sad): he still has moments of dissociation where all his sensations go numb like when he was a mannequin

D (my city now): magnus is asexual from trauma post julia but pre and during julia he was... kind of a horndog oops

juno steel (the penumbra podcast):

A (realistic): he didn't tell anyone he was nb until he was like 35. vicki picked up on it before he had figured it out himself. not counting her, the first person to know was rita, which is one of the many reasons he can never fire her.

B (funny): he's really into chinese food which is unfortunate bc the only good chinese food he can get in town is owned by the triad

C (sad): he's never been off mars. never had the means. both cassandra and his own nature have made him desperate to see the rest of the galaxy, which is why peter's offer was so tempting, but he's too terrified of being legitimately happy and losing it later.

D (my city now): he got married when he was like 22, and the guy quickly devolved into being cruel and horrible. juno suffered through it for a couple years then went fuckin carrie underwood on his ass and split

twogami (dangan ronpa):

A (realistic): postgame, he is one of the most forgiving of komaeda's behavior. people dismiss it as him not having to deal with post ch1 koma firsthand, but it's mostly because he's a very compassionate dude.

B (funny): he and togami would get along fucking great when hes twogami. posing as anyone else or himself, hes a little appalled by togamis... togaminess

C (sad): postgame he finds out akane starved herself and takes her under his wing

D (my city now): he and ryouta are fucking married i know this because i went to the ceremony and it was beautiful

juuzou sakakura (dangan ronpa):

A (realistic): he is autistic and very bad with people and words and things that arent punching

B (funny): this gap moe ass man loves stuffed animals. chisa gave him one once at a festival and he was like IM NOT CRYING YOURE CRYING STOP CRYING YOURE MAKING ME CRY

C (sad): juuzou’s not good with words so he can’t say what munakata is to him precisely, but he's not his best friend. that was chisa. :’(

D (my city now): hes ALIVE and he FOUND MUNAKATA and he SUPPORTS HIM WITH HIS LIFE even though all munakata is doing with his life is like. starting a post apocalyptic animal shelter

yomo (tokyo ghoul):

A (realistic): hinami helps him learn to read ;3;

B (funny): he does fingerpainting with touken’s kid and gets inordinately proud/emotional about his own painting

C (sad): he asks haiseneki to tell him about what arima was like. it's a difficult conversation, but yomo seems to find it important, so they do it.

D (my city now): he and uta got married at one point. probably drunk. yomo doesn’t wear the ring, but he keeps it in a safe place.

#deer tag #sage headcanons #long post #ask mem #disordered eating /#alcohol /#genital talk /

4 notes · View notes

chaekkung · 6 years

Note

o wormie? u? in a lot of love? perfect i don't think i've asked u yet but (if ur free) could u talk about why/how you started loving changkyun/hyungwon (or both :-D) ?? pls ramble as much as u like!! read more exists 4 a reason and . i love reading ppl b soft and in love it's cute!!!!! i love u have a good night/day ! 💛💛

o holy shit thats a lot ok im gonna write about changkyun since i Havent... :( and ill copy pasta one of my hyungwon essays for u to read!!!! the changkyun will be under it :^) this is gonna be Super Long im sorrie in advance LMAO BUT HAVE A GREAT DAY/NIGHT TOO!!!! :D (also theres prob gonna be a lot of typos bc im Dumb but.. bear w/ me)

mister chae:

honestly i don’t even know where to start?? uhh i guess with his looks first since,, this is describing or smthing,, anyways yeah hyungwon is just… fucking beautiful. he has the most handsome and visually attractive face ive ever seen in my whole life??? and i’ve stanned a lot of groups in my past before but hyungwon is honestly one of the best looking man i know :( im not even being biased,,, anyways yeah there’s that. and he’s like naturally a model, i mean he can legit wear anything and do anything and he’ll look like he’s posing for a high end magazine, not surprised if he’s been modeling since he was like, born. also he has the most beautiful and endearing smile and laugh…. when he smiles he really goes from :o -> :D like!! please!! you are too fucking cute,,, :((( he really lights up the entire room solely w his smile im jusT?? wow?? like when his smile lines by the sides of his nose down to the corner of his mouth come out i just,,,, really… need 2 calm my heart. he has like the closed mouth wide smile, and the straight up whole face smile!! and i.. love both.. so much,,, and yeah anyways his lips are like the first thing people notice about him and big mood?? they’re so plump and … kissable.. and soft.. but my favorite feature on him are his eyes tbh…. idk he has really beautiful eyes? idk how to describe it but like, they’re so…. kind? and bright.. it’s just i want to look into them all day long and im just… so in love with his eyes. like,, they really hold all the stars in my universe wtf!!! :( OH AND I DONT TALK ABOUT THIS ENOUGH BUT…. HIS EARS ARE SO FUCKING ADORABLE WTF I WANT A MOLD OF HIS EARS ON MY DESK,,, idk about others but i personally find his right ear cute as fuck?? like the extra folds in his ears.. i would d*e for them………. godksj why is everything about him so cute i just?? want to kno …

ok now im going to talk about him!!! so his personality, is what i really fell in love with,, (god this all sounds so.. cliche. but it’s.. true, also unrelated but every time someone talked about,, love cliches and shit i was always like ‘sounds fake’ but???? after hyungwon i really?? believe in all of that..) if i had to use one word to describe him it would just be ‘kind’… like he!!! is!!! the king of being considerate and compassionate and wonderful and he’s just a really good person.. :( he’s the one you can always count on and lean on. he’d always be on your side and makes you feel safe and comforted,, like he’s really full of love??? even the members said he’s a really good listener and they chose as him as someone they go to when they’re feeling down because he makes them feel better about the situation (god, i wish they were me,,) and he has the most beautiful heart… like, he’s been wearing the Sewol bracelet since as long as we’ve known and he has never missed a day. you can always see it during fansigns, vlives, whenever he’s out, and he even wore it when he was modeling under his clothes… :(( he went from the charm, to the rope bracelet thing, to the clip on and now he’s wearing the wristband!! :(((((( he says he will always wear it to remember the incident, and he has been for over two years… he’s doing it out of the kindness of his heart and not to show anyone… he said he felt so helpless during the time, and watching every thing unfold before him, and has worn the yellow bracelet which symbolizes ‘hope’ :((((((((( god,, real emo hours,,, i love my angel so much wtf !!! ok next,, (sjdhaj at this point im going to write a whole novel wtf but im gonna,, stop soon i swear .) hyungwon is really fucking hardworking and ?? he’s so dedicated to his career and making sure that we, his fans, are always satisfied and proud to stan him.. like he’s constantly saying he will work hard to show us something better next time, that he’s not going to stop trying to improve himself. every single stage he puts his all into it, but he pushes himself even more to show us a even better one. he’s always worried and thinking about his career as an actor and a singer. he wants to promote the group in any way that he can, whether it’s through modeling or acting :(( what a King… he’s… really always striving to do the Best and he won’t ever settle or be content with it because he’s just naturally an ambitious and super hard working person… like. he’s so dedicated to what he does, no matter what it is. uhh one more thing he’s actually a really sentimental guy!! not like in a bad way, but in the best possible way. he’s really sweet, and gentle.. (he would be the Best Boyfriend,,, im just saying..) he’s the type to give handwritten letters… and surprise gifts.. (he said so!!) he said he cant cook but he want to cook for his gf he will try his best and it will be full of love… god.. i wish that were me. he’s the type to keep quiet… but take silently notes on what someone likes/dislikes, and will reveal it unexpectedly with a gift or when he says something and it will! make the other person! so happy! :((( he doesn’t put his emotions Out There, he’s not rlly good at it,, but he honestly has so much love in him,,, he tries his best to show it ok!! it’s,, good effort it’s so cute when he does… ah.. pls.,,, he’s always like ah, i don’t know if i can properly show my appreciation and sincerity for you guys, but i hope you guys know how thankful i am for you. LASDHFJAK GOFD,S,,,, IM FUCKIGN EMO THINKGIN ABOTU IT AGAIN… HE HAS A HEART OF GOLD AND HE’S SUCH A SWEETHEART I JUST WISH MORE PEOPLE WOULD SEE IT.. :(( HE DESERVES ALL THE LOVE IN THIS ENTIRE UNIVERSE AND I REALLY HOPE ALL MY LOVE FOR HIM CAN COUNT AS SOMETHING FOR IT ALL.. UGHFJASHJSAALSJF yeah ok let me,,, stop… sorry to everyone who has to scroll past this LMAo,, :(

ok i was gonna stop but i forgot to mention how he’s so fucking talented!! i mean this boy does it ALL. the whole package or w/e. god,, i love my whole ass talented man wtf! he sings, dances, choreographs, models, acts, DJs, is multilingual, and a world class poet,, cmon. ANYWAYS he excels in all those areas nd,, no argument there.. his voice is angelic as fuck ,, just like his personality.. and his dancing.. god,,, like . his dancing his so on point, his every move,, and it’s so.. fluid.. and natural. and it’s harder for tall people to dance esp ones w like long ass limbs (hyungwon.,,) but he still looks fucking amazing and pulls everything off so perfectly????? gofdj,,, can he like . Stop being so…. perfect.. and lovable… :((( he just puts so much passion into everything he does!!! and his heart is pure Gold ,, i just.. love him,,,,,,, everything about him …. ok lmao let me stop !!! if u actually read all this wtf,, im sorry nd i’d die for u

mister changkyun:

okay wtf icb i havent talked about changkyun that much on my blog.... anyways this is gonna be a mess and unorganized bc im Dumb but here goes,,, ok we can start from the beginning kinda,, so originally wonho was my #2 bias and then mh i think like i love changkyun but i wasnt like IN LOVE you kno?? honestly i started to notice him more firstable bc he and hyungwon are so frigging cute together?? i just couldnt ignore it and next thing u know im IN Love w my lil koala :(((( hes sO CUTE ..... LIKE.. IDK HOW TO EXPLAIN IT I REALLY JUST WANNA BE AROUND HIM ALL THE TIME!! his sense of humor and his personality in general is so?? positive?? and fun??!!! like i would spend every second of the rest of my life w him... and he’s so cheesy as we all know ,, and i find it so cute but also he makes me so stressed bc he’s so mushy aijsdgfhdjs but he rlly Love us wtf.. and hes so funnie... he makes me smile and laugh all the time :( and he genuinely Loves every single one of his fans so much... he’s so sweet with them and he makes them feel so loved and special, and like they’re the only person in the world at that moment :(((( this boy gives so much love and i only want to give him a million times more back...

HIS LAUGH.. OK.. HIS LAUGH!!!!!! MAKES MY HEART MELT LIKE LAVA WTF SJDFUDJS HES SOSOSOSOOS CUTE WHEN HE LUAHGS HE LIKE.. PUTS HIS ALL INTO IT.. IT SLIKE HAHAHAHA FR... PLS,,, ESP WHEN HE GOES CRAZY AND ALSO STARTS CLAPPING,... LMAO MOOD.. HE SOS CUTIEJUJIiajsdfudj and WHEN HE SMILES THE CLOSED-MOUTH-WIDE-SMILE AND HIS CUTE ASS DIMPLES COME OUT.... HOTLT FUCKIDUFD THERE GOES MY SOUL AND GALLONS OF HEART NUT... ITS THE CUTEST SIGHT IN THE WORLD AHHH HIS DIMPLE ARE ADORABLE AND HIS CHEEKS!! I WANT TO SQUISH!!! i wanna . reside in his dimples. build a home there and alll....... omg.. :’(( every time he takes a selfie or smthing i rlly Lose it. every single selfie is his Best selfie. wtf.... king of angles fr... AND KING OF FOOT SELFIES TOOOSJFDK LLISTEN AGAIN HES SOSOOSOSO HANDSOME AND GOOD LOOKING OKAY!!! HES REALLY A VISUAL?? IDK HOW PEOPLE CANT SEE IT BUT LIEK THIS BOY IS F I N E ..... HIS FACE IS SO BEAUTIFUL AHHHhhhHHHHH AND HE NEVER HAD A BAD ERA.. HE WAS HOT SINCE NO MERCY WTF !!!!! UGJFSUJDJS I HOPE HE KNOWS HES FUCKING BEAUTIFUL!!!!!!!!! :( ANF HIS BEAUTIFUL NOSE,, AND HIS EYES!!!! OGM!!,,, GOD AND HIS PERFECTLY SHAPED LIPS.... HSI JAWLINE,,, BITUCSHJ,,,

OK HES SO LOVABLE IN EVERY DAMN WAY LIKE,, he’s Weird but its a cute Weird he’s so special omg there’s really no one else like him :(((( like...... he’s a treasure fr... he’s So Many things and once its hard to pinpoint his personality but like ??? i love it so much?? he’s a mystery and i dont know what he’s thinking like most of the time but.. i rlly love him omgdsj he’s so special :’( like fr !!! everyone LOVES him!! :(( most people wouldnt see him as the maknae if they dont Know,, but like he really is... and he’s really mx’s babie :-( they spoil him so much and love the heck out of him,,, he’s really the most loved maknae out there wtf... honestly... i love family... they really Adore him so much ugh what a big ass fking MOOD! :((

AND HIS VOICE!!!!! THE VOICE OF THE HEAVENS AND ANGELS AND HAPPINESS AND ALSO NUT!!!! WTF!! HIS VOICE IS SO SEXY AJSDFGDUJIS LIKE... PLEASE... NARRATE THE BIBLE TO ME HOLY FUCKSIFDU, YOU KNOW HIS VOICE ONLY V LIVE... HOLY SHIT MY EARS NUTTED SO HARD omg.... i just wanna listen to his voice All Day.... and dont even get mee started on his rapping .... he starts his bar and sets me on fucking fire w half a syllable . and did i mentioned he fucking amazing at rapping yeah . he Does That. and hes so charismatic, especially on stage... :((( ugh omgfisjd i wanan d*e when hes being so h*t on screen fucksdf,,, and like . his mixtapes he’s working on... king... pleas.e.... End me. just end me with ur talented ass wtf...

SIJDFJD I NEED TO SHUT UP BUT LISTEN IM SO PROUD OF HOW MUCH HE’S GROWN IN THE PAST 2+ YEARS... LIKE HE’S COME SO FUCKING FAR!!!!! IN SO MANY WAYS!!!!!!!! GOD,,,,, I LOVE HIM SOSOSOSOSO DAMN MUCHSJIDFUDS HE MAKES MY HEART CONTINUE BEATING... THATS REALLY MY BABIE !! MY FUCKING CINNAMON APPLE!!! :(((((((((((

ok let me stop thank u,,, also... if anyone actually made it here hi wow uh ur great ily wtf :--(

#replies #im SO SORRY TO EVERYONE WHO GOES ON MY BLOG ON MOBILE #DIJFDJS.KFDHJS...#THERES NO READ MORE ON THE MOBILE BLOG LMAO RIP #i tried to keep it short but yeah #omg #fuckashdj I LOVE MY BOYSDHFD BTIR!!! :(((

5 notes · View notes

thetorturedarchives · 7 years

Text

i know ive already had a rant abt something else but fuck you i wanna rant

listen, to the people who are frustrated w queerbaiting in the media, thats fine, i 100% get it, im pissed too but -- cursed child is not queerbaiting okay??? alright???

I think people are overestimating the writers here. i don’t think they’re quite in touch w. The Kids enough to know the nuance of a good, hearty queerbait. Some older adult creators genuinely see no underlying homosexual themes in strong friendships between two people of the same sex, because back In The Day you wouldnt really bat an eyelid at two dudes bein Uber Close Best Buds unless they were doing something Mega Gay like wearing a scarf in a certain way -- same goes w/ girls, to a further extent since kissing ur Gal Pal on the lips was seen as just pissing around and being friendly bc ur girls!!! girls cant be gay bc theyre meant to like guys!! shit like that

I know they’re not *ANCIENT* im not naive, but JK is the same age as my dad (off by abt two years but still) and ive heard many a story about ‘anal chugging’ and all sorts of Mega Het stuff the Big Boys used to do at Oxford, so I don’t think its fair to say any piece of media with two people of the same sex being close friends who dont consummate their relationship is ‘queerbaiting’.

Branching out, I don’t even think something like Sherlock is queerbaiting, at least not in its first season it wasnt. It was a gag. Not a very funny gag, but a gag nevertheless. Mark Gatiss, a Known Gay, was among the creators of the show and i wouldnt be surprised if he was the one who suggested they have a dig at the unusual nature of Holmes’ and Watson’s relationship considering the times, and how it would translate into modern day, hence the constant assumptions that they’re gay. I seriously doubt he sat down and said ‘Hey, I know I’m gay and would really appreciate real representation in media, but why dont we tease straight teenage girls who like to draw men naked by always hinting at a relationship but never quite confirming it?’. It just doesn’t make sense.

I’m sure queerbaiting is purposefully done in other places, and perhaps down the line Sherlock BBC became aware of its demographic and their....interests and started giving them some extra conspiracy material but if anything that wasnt out of malice or ‘teasing’, i think they were just sort of ‘wink wink nudge nudge’ing all the people who did genuinely ship Sherlock and John because, hey, they’re a large part of our fanbase, we might as well give them a nod.

i certainly dont like shows that beat around the bush for ages, coyly *suggesting* a character might be gay instead of just exploring it properly and letting the character actually sit down and think about their sexuality considering its such a big part of everyone’s life, but i dont think queerbaiting is as prevalent or done in the same way as we currently think.

lets not settle for gags or suggestions, or ‘Best Buds Who Like to Hug’, but lets also not treat those who do try and dip a toe in the sea w it as if they’re evil or giving us the run around. lets keep telling them that we want more representation, keep telling them its not enough, that its never ‘enough’. but lets also try and stop sexualising close male relationships, lets normalise men saying ‘i love you’ platonically, lets normalise men being emotional with each other and touching and hugging each other in compassionate, platonic ways, lets teach men that they arent gay simply for loving and caring for their friends, that theyre valid in wanting emotional support and advice, lets tell gay men also that they dont need to be attracted to someone to want emotional support from them or to hug and touch them in friendly, appropriate ways.

I say men because they do need to hear this. Women in media are always portrayed as emotional and compassionate and often depicted being platonically intimate with their friends without necessarily feeling attraction. They have this representation, but men often do not and thats what kind of sparked all this ‘queerbaiting’.

Let men love each other and not have to be ‘in love’. Just because they aren’t fucking each other on sight doesn’t mean it’s ‘queerbaiting’

6 notes · View notes

jess-oh · 6 years

Text

Reflection

why hello there!

it’s been a while. again. i’ve been pretty busy and my trackpad has been acting up lately but i thought it’d be good to journal now. so whats been going on?

i recently skyped with jeanne and lauren and both conversations were satisfying tho i do wish we couldve gone deeper. i bought two organizers on the whim from target yesterday and it has made my life so much easier. adulting is weird but it’s kinda fun. i was able to facetime with my sister today and it was really nice. we both shared and updated each other on our lives and i think we’ve both become a lot more grateful for each other recently, especially with what happened to Robbin. sometimes i wonder how people would react if i died. by killing myself or otherwise. and im also really glad to know that my grandpa is doing a lot better. i dont think hes cancer free but i dont think hes in suffering anymore and thats honestly a huge relief. i wasnt sure if i could handle losing him too. and my sister brought up a good point that even tho it has been financially difficult for our family, God’s timing has always been perfect. when he first lost his job my junior year of high school, it was right before his dad got sick so he was able to take charge and care for him until he ultimately passed. and the time after that, my sister isnt sure what happened or the timing of it. but this time, he was let go the day before the pipes started leaking so he was able to take care of it instead of the weight of everything being on my mom’s shoulders. shes already been so busy with taking care of her parents and balancing work and church and my sister and i being in college so it was really nice that my dad could be there and they could rely on each other instead of my mom being alone in all this. i do feel bad bc i guess my dad’s car recently broke down and im sure just the weight of everything recently has been really heavy for him. like it’s his dad that passed away. it’s his mom with parkinson’s and depression. it’s his nephew that had a heart attack. it’s his sister that was in so much pain. i still remember her cries and wailing screams bc she was just in so much pain over Robbin and it really hurt me to see her like that. it really did. it still hurts me now. it’s him who has been laid off and let go so many times for reasons out of his control. and i do feel really bad for him and want to take the time to chat him more often to make him feel better. he recently became an elder and im really proud of him. and this is definitely a lot to handle and has taken a toll on all of us. but most especially on him. :/ but yeah, talking to my sister is always nice bc she knows what im going through and we can bond over our mutual grief. but i was still upset earlier. not at her. but i was thinking and i think p josh pities me for all of my misfortune. he threw so many compliments at me on thursday and it didnt really sit right. it was almost too much. and i think it’s bc he feels bad for my misfortune but i dont want to be defined by my hardships. i want to be defined by who i am now and who God calls me to be. not how many things have happened thus far. and maybe that’s partly my fault bc i do think i adopted the victim mentality to some extent in all this but as my sister as shown me, it’s just a part of life. and it’s happening now which is unfortunate but it is and we just have to accept that and move on. i learned so much about Robbin after he passed and he’s inspired me so greatly to become a better person. to be more compassionate and caring and understanding. he really lived life to the fullest. he acted way more Christian than any of us ever did. he did what he loved and was so generous. he really deeply cared about those around him and we never gave him that love back. i wish i pressed deeper with him. who cares if they judge me? who are they to judge me for wanting to create a deeper connection and to be there for them on an emotional level? i think im still upset bc it was one, so sudden, and two, bc i cant help but remember the moments when i couldve spoken up but never did. i just stayed silent and let other people talk instead of inputting my own perspective and i cant help but wonder if things wouldve been different if i did stand up for him. i miss him so much. what if i defended him and actually reached out to him. would he still be alive now? but yeah. i think my grandpa(mom’s side) has really inspired me too. to face death head on. he knows hes getting older and getting closer to death but he has so much trust and faith in the Lord that when he goes, it’ll be the right time. and thats so hard to do in practical terms. if i got hit by a car tomorrow, in my dying moments, would i really be able to just rest in peace, knowing that God chose for me to die at that moment in that circumstance? really? i think ive been getting better at coming to terms with it and in that scenario, i think that i would. but if i was kidnapped and raped and killed, would i feel the same? i would really love to be a martyr for Christ. I really would be. And while I am fine with dying for him, there are times where I still stumble with my faith. There are still some times where I shake in it and I feel ashamed of it. But God is everything that I am and have and I know who He is in my life and should have full confidence in Him but sometimes I do admittedly waver. But I am proud of myself for having gotten so much bolder and more open with my faith. I’ve brought it up to my co-workers and friends and peers and casually mentioned church. Sometimes I’m a little afraid but God always prevails and they always respond well and with interest. And I’m glad to be showing them who God is to me in my life and leading a life by example that will hopefully influence them as well.

#reflection

0 notes

yeancollab · 6 years

Note

suit every hair colour so i think thats rly cool!! noowwww back on topic,, are mx your first grouP?? if they arent ,, who were your first group and how did you discover them + mx?? another thinG!! do you mind telling me why mister wonho is your bias??? i love him a lot too but i wanna know what others think of him and its always really nice to see others talking abt their faves !! you can ramble for as much as you like!! i love reading people's love essays :-O !! i saw your nct ss never showed..

hello~ im on mobile so i cant just compile all the asks into one big ramble so im gonna answer them this ugli choppy way bc this app is hell!! anyways yes THANK U for the compliment~ 💕❤️💘💖

monsta x isn’t technically my first group, the first group i started to really care about and stan was EXO! my friend dina made me watch a bunch of EXO mvs and interviews and i started to love them. this was in summer 2016. i was like a casual stan? and i felt a bit of a disconnect bc EXO has been around for years and I felt late and i didnt love all their music. But then dina sat me down and forced me to listen to monsta x and well…

i listened to hero multiple times a day for WEEKS.. i thot it was such a banger and then i watched more MVs and i fell in love with… hyungwon!!! hyungwon was my first bias i thot he was so cute n his singing was so good.

i actually didnt connect with wonho much at first bc all i ever saw was ppl portraying him as a h*e or fuckboy or smth so i just kinda? ignored him like i figured there was more to him than that but i was content just loving hyungwon

then i watched Right Now!! i binge watched all of right now and i was like “O Fuck im in Love I Guess”

i fell for mister wonho immediately.. i was like “wow was my image of you WRONG…” i didnt start stanning him right then and there but watching Right Now really solidified my love for him.

i cant really describe what it is about wonho that makes me love him so dang much? maybe its astrology..,, him being a pisces and me being a scorpio.. we can understand each other as fellow emo water signs. idk,, how to describe it but its like.. when wonho is talking or interacting or even just quietly in the background i can Feel him. he has this aura and he wears his heart on his sleeve and you can just feel how compassionate and sweet and sensitive he is. when hes having an off day you FEEL it through the screen. when its a good day, it just shines through. he just has such a genuine energy that makes you feel so loved? ordinarily id think a famous person saying they love their fans is corny but when wonho says it he MEANS it.. he genuinely appreciates and loves us and its such an amazing feeling? he’s so open and isnt afraid to say something.. idk when i think abt my like Ideal… its always someone who can feel deeply and be there for you and thats just who wonho is!! he’s just so comforting and on another level, i want to help him too. i want to get rid of all the insecurities i know he has.. i want him to know we love him the way he is! and i joke around and im like “yea mister wonho w the skin 😋” but like obviously i know he’s more than just those silly sexy™ choreographies. hes just a well rounded person and he’s funny and kind hearted and genuine and he brightens my whole day and everything he says is from the heart and hes so BEAUTIFUL… he’s the type of person you bring home to ur mom! he’s so honest and loyal and gOOD! Pure…

uh ya i love wonho.. sorry if that was rambly i just cant describe it, it feels like a connection! like i feel similar to him but also he represents what i want to be more like.. what i like in other people.. ya

#egg anon #long post #replies

0 notes