#and i just enjoy the inherent tragedy of it all because i love to make myself suffer

[bidonica]

Hey! I see you're into fragile/higgs ship and caught myself quite like them too recently (tho i've been in DS fandom already for a year and mostly thought about them as a friends)

Just wondering why do you like them? Do you have any headcanons/interesting thoughts? I'm very curious 👀

Hi! First of all apologies for the wall of text you're about to get, but unfortunately you came knocking at my door after I spent nearly two months ruminating about this ship basically by myself sooo I'm dumping it all here

Well the short (lol) version is that in my first playthrough I mostly just absorbed the characters and storyline, but by the time I got to their final scene on the Beach I was like wait a minute... their whole shared storyline feels way too loaded for them to simply have been business associates, that shit is personal, even Higgs wanting to damage Fragile feels way too pointed to just be justified by "he was a turncloak with a secret agenda." Now, I'm not against a "they were simply close friends" interpretation, it works just as well to explain the emotional weight of their falling out, BUT I also cannot ignore the zest, the flavor, the spice of them actually having been involved romantically at some point. And honestly going into my second playthrough with the shipping goggles on I can't help thinking that Fragile speaks about Higgs like he was an ex that hurt her, and the way that she is suspiciously cagey about the specifics of their relationship makes my ears shoot up like a German shepherd.

On a Doylist level I also find it interesting that Kojima gave Higgs extra backstory that connects him to Fragile in the Director's Cut, and also how the behind the scenes for the DS2 mocap show Troy and Léa sharing a scene... I think Kojima is not done intertwining their story and we'll get more info in the sequel.

Now for the headcanons... I have enough that I might or might not be writing a long-ish fic about it, but I want to finish this Director's Cut playthrough before completing it (I could just look stuff up on the wiki but that's not fun). Also I have some art in the pipeline about it that I hope to post within the week. Anyway, the bite sized version of how I envision their relationship:

I hc Higgs as being immediately attracted to Fragile but not really acting on it, while she develops her attraction after getting to know him a little. Then she's down bad but she doesn't even realize it until it's so obvious it hits her in the face

A few people at their joint Fragile Express/whatever Higgs' operation was called co-op assume they are an item long before anything ever happens, because they just hang out together a lot. They have a similar penchant for corny jokes and puns and enjoy some light banter; Fragile finds Higgs' flair for theatrics endearing, while he is drawn to how gentle she is because he has known so little softness in his life (also he thinks she's insanely pretty, which duh. It's self evident because Léa Seydoux) (it's his first serious girl crush anyway; I hc him as bi and as having had mostly experiences with men before her)

They bond over their DOOMS condition and Higgs is fascinated by Fragile's powers, while she is less enthused by all the collateral effects. In my hc, at this point she has yet to become as skilled at traveling through dimensions as she is in the game, which makes her reluctant to agree to Higgs' requests to show him the Beach. This sows the seeds of his resentment towards her, because he feels she has a privilege she doesn't make use of and doesn't want to share.

They are both pretty touchy feely (canon!) so when their relationship goes from friendly to romantic it gets physical immediately and enthusiastically. Yes even accounting for the worldwide lowered sex drive. If there's one thing I never do is put characters in horny jail 🫡

 I think Fragile got to know a version of Higgs that was quite different from what we see in the game, which you sort of can gauge from the more optimistic pages of his diary. Like there's a part of him who's starved for love and connection and a sense of belonging and gravitates towards people like Coffin (he never had a mother) and Fragile herself; ironically, the pull towards Amelie answers to the same need but in reality it feeds on his more nihilistic, call-of-the-void side. I'm not saying that Amelie brainwashed him or anything, but I think she saw what was already there – a  deep seated resentment towards a hostile world and towards those he feels got handed a luckier deal than he did, that he countered by clinging to the notion of being special because of his DOOMS, but then there's someone like Fragile who's even more special and doesn't seem to be doing much with it. Amelie gave him a chance to fulfill what he felt was his potential and shared her power with him, but the tradeoff was severing  the connections he had, "killing" the part of him that wanted to be loved to make space for what he perceived as a higher form of love ("I found someone who completes me" which he says to Fragile specifically like he wants to rub it in her face? Like she wasn’t  enough to fulfill that role?)

That’s why I think it’s significant that he lost his hands with his power-up, because the (holding, welcoming) hands are strongly associated with Fragile; and to me it makes sense if he purposely ruins her body also because it’s a way to stifle his attraction to her. There’s also a lot of projection because HE is the one who’s felt like damaged goods all along, who grew up being  crushed psychologically and physically. I also think that both of them coming close to annihilating the other but choosing not to – leaving them in a dicey situation but not entirely without escape – shows in some twisted way that their bond still exists, which makes me giggle and rub my hands like a nasty little goblin knowing we have another game coming.

So… That’s the gist of it. Sorry for rambling on but as I said, I don’t really get the chance to talk about this ship much – greetings from rarepair hell, etc.

#replies #death stranding #fragile x higgs #higgs x fragile #greetings from rarepair hell #embarrassing amounts of mental real estate have been allocated to this... The mental illness is in full display i fear #i dunno they just make so much sense. to me #and i just enjoy the inherent tragedy of it all because i love to make myself suffer

[cripplecharacters]

Hi, I have some questions regarding confusion over a certain topic. First off, I have a character with a severe scarring on the upper right side of their body. I've heard in some tumblr ppsts that such appearance shouldn't be fetished. Then I stumbled across some posts, mentioning how the character can be described as 'pretty with it'.

For sure, I'm trying my best to normalize the looks. Because I have a love interest set up for them and while they don't mind the looks, I feel confused on how to convey their appreciation for the character's looks even with the scarring. They like the character as they are and stuff.

Sorry if this is a lot, I tend to get confused on how to handle such scenarios. And this sort of varying opinions is making me go '???'.

It's okay if you take your time to answer! Have a good day ahead of ya!

Hi!

"Fetishization of a disability" and "thinking that a disabled person is pretty" are two very different things. Despite the somewhat similar sound, they're not connected by much.

In the context of scars, fetishization would be what I would call the "Zuko situation" (yes, I love ATLA as much as the next guy, let me explain) - the scar isn't really a scar, it's more of a, I don't know, make-up? It's just the color that changes, it's all sharp edges and intricate shapes, the facial structure stays the exact same. There's no physical symptoms. Essentially, it's permanent body paint.

It fetishizes a disability by making it inaccurate, sometimes almost mystical. You don't see anyone fetishizing how real people with facial burns look like because they only like the idea of it. They don't care for us; they don't care for Face Equality or why we are offended by "villain with scar #32482". It's just a fun splotch of color to add to your OC when you're out of ideas.

Another aspect of fetishization is the "a scar is the worst thing in the whole world", the tragedy porn. It's using a disability for cheap drama. Again; it's inaccurate and exploitative. I don't see writers excited to depict my "coming to terms with my facial difference as a teenager, and eventually being proud of it" experience because where's the shock value and pity points? Fetishization, again, is about liking the idea of it, not the real thing.

Describing your character as beautiful, well, isn't any of that.

The point that I tried to make on that post was that a scar is often considered inherently ugly. That it's a stain on someone's beauty, that it would be better if it wasn't there.

"Brown beautiful eyes, thick facial hair, strong cheekbones - he managed to be irresistibly handsome even with that nasty scar going across his nose."

This, well, sucks. It's as if the character's beauty and their disability are contradictory forces that have to fight each other. But in reality, scars and any other visible disabilities are neutral. If the character is pretty, their scar is pretty too. It's a part of them, so how could it not be?

"She was a cute girl; her pastel pink, thinly braided hair framed her face, defying gravity by curling towards her mouth. The burned skin on her lips shifted as she smiled, revealing a tooth gap. She played with her equally pink 'white' cane, holding it between the two fingers she had on her right hand, bopping it against the ground to the rhythm of the song."

This, on the other hand, just states her disability as a part of her person. It's nothing weird or shocking, she's pretty, has a burn on her face, she's blind, she's missing some fingers, she's enjoying the music - it's almost boring when compared to the usual "scar introduction". There's no "even with her horribly burnt face", no "if only she wasn't scarred she would be beautiful", no "poor thing, lost her fingers in a horrific fire" - instead, she is beautiful, and she has scars, and she sure is having fun. That's it.

This is my best shot at explaining the difference between "fetishization" and "yeah they're pretty :-)" ft. my questionable writing - I hope this makes sense.

I definitely took my time to answer, sorry about that. Thank you for your ask!

mod Sasza

#mod sasza #anonymous #face difference #fetishization of disability

[merakiui]

AHHH i knew I'd mess up the request 😭 I would really love to have a flower bouquet from the miscellaneous menu, red velvet cupcakes and red mochi beans from midnight menu for my one and only Malleus 🖤 (I'd appreciate it if reader was an afab female)

yandere!malleus draconia x (female) reader cw: yandere, unhealthy behaviors/relationship, non-con, nsfw, stalking, obsession, slight delusion note - thank you for checking in, dearest guest! enjoy your order! [lunar love hotel]

The beauty of humanity is transient in nature—so fleeting that one of unfathomed age might assume mortals are merely temporary phantasms crocheted into a celestial fiction. Most days it seems as though you are the untouchable human threads woven into a lively tapestry shielded by the toughest, sharpest of brambles. You are the very shape portrayed soft and precious in watercolor portraits, preserved within the haunted corridors of Malleus’s mind. Most days he wakes from poetic rumination and looks at you for who you are: a dear friend. A kind, clever child of man who is unafraid of crossing the threshold that divides humans from those with lengthened lifespans. You are, in every wondrous way, a mortal who continues to fascinate and amaze with your endearing peculiarities. 

Most days Malleus wonders if he could ever flawlessly imitate humanity in the way you do. Perhaps the idea is an impossibility or a childish dream fostered by his inherent need to stitch himself into your tapestry like a loose strand in search of a home. He can sketch your form in his mind every night—can follow your movements with eyes so green you may be smothered in their vibrancy—but he can never quite grasp the meaning of humanity. Although who could, really, when such an inquiry remains one of life’s greatest enigmas? Malleus surmises that is what makes the modern world in which he exists as curious as it is troublesome. 

There is beauty in tragedy. Malleus knows this well because all human life is tragic in some melancholic manner. But nothing can be more devastating than the raw emotions that entwine themselves through you, staining your expression in muted fear. Thankfully, it takes but a moment for the darkness to dispel itself, alight with yellow-green speckles that foretell a familiar presence. He offers you a pleasant smile through the window, not having considered you might still be awake at such an ungodly hour when he appeared for his usual visit to admire you while you lay motionless, wrapped in the sweetest of dreams. The little beast who often accompanies you—Grim—is curled on the bed, his furry frame moving up and down with each peaceful breath he takes.

There is beauty in the sincerity of relief. Malleus knows this well because when your shoulders relax and you slide the window up to greet him, all instances of horror having vanished from your delightful countenance, you look most ravishing. 

“You nearly gave me a heart attack, Horns. Don’t scare me like that!” 

Horns. It’s a cute, casual nickname—an alias that he wouldn’t have received had he not met you. It’s far more meaningful than the princely status draped across his shoulders, a reminder to all who see him of the destiny that awaits him—a destiny that distances him from others grandly. They seem to care about such a thing—as if it’s a thing so ominous—but you never mind it.

There is beauty in the thorns that pierce the heart. Malleus knows this well, for he stands at the edge of a love that just cannot bear any fruit, consumed in a shadow while he watches you enjoy the noisy company of friends and classmates. Malleus is not very partial to this, yet if it made you happy he would willingly melt into the darkness so that you may continue to spread your glorious light. 

“Oh?” His eyebrows raise curiously and he bends down to lean further into the open window, conscious of the sleek, obsidian-colored horns that curl upwards from his head. “I’m far from a medical practitioner, but I have heard that a good shock to the heart is one way to keep it beating. You need only give me a moment. I shall conjure a bolt strong enough to—”

“I’m fine! I’m fine!” you whisper hastily, shaking your head in a manner so wild it sparks amusement deep within his chest. 

“I jest.”

“I would hope so,” you retort, a smile spreading on your lips. “One shock from you and I don’t think I’d be standing in one piece.”

“Nonsense.” He dismisses you with a wave of his hand before pausing to truly consider it. “Well, I suppose in order to test such a theory you would need to incite my wrath first. Would you care to try?” 

“That’s a death wish! Is your sense of humor always so morbid, Horns?”

“Would you prefer otherwise?”

“Nah.” He blinks at you, and a chuckle spills from your lips. “It’s you, Horns. Morbid jests and all. I wouldn’t have you any other way.”

In that moment, Malleus thinks he wants nothing more than to have you, radiant smiles and all. 

There is beauty in trust. This is something Malleus knows well, for when Lilia handed him a cloth the color of a starlit sky and uttered something about acts of trust he understood the implications. Or perhaps the meaning evaded him; Lilia is always so cryptic. And so, once the moon has risen high, Malleus descends upon Ramshackle’s grounds to consult his wise, beautiful child of man.

“Acts of trust? Like trust falls?”

“Trust...falls?” Malleus repeats it with a furrowed brow. 

“It’s when someone falls backwards into the arms of another person, assuming that that person will catch them. It’s supposed to be a trust game.”

“Shall we play?” He withdraws the cloth from his vest pocket, running his fingers over the silky satin. “This game of trust humans are so fond of... It sounds most entertaining.”

“Oh, sure. Uh... I don’t think we need a blindfold for it, though.”

“I have recently learned of this ‘trust game’ from Lilia. One that involves relying on another to replace your sight.”

“Ah, I’ve heard of that one! We can try it.”

“Then allow me to be your eyes.” 

Your nod is immediate, and so Malleus flicks his wrist and the blindfold fastens itself around your eyes. You reach up to touch the fabric and giggle. 

“Make sure to guide me away from any furniture, okay?”

Though you’re unable to see it, Malleus smiles at you, a deceptive flicker in his gaze. The game begins innocently enough. Malleus leads you with honest intent, and even when you stumble he merely levitates furniture out of your way. You nearly take a nasty tumble when your foot catches on the rug, but he’s quick to cast a skillful spell that lifts you up out of harm’s way and lowers you gently upon the bed. Your hands curl into the sheets and you exhale a relieved sigh. 

“That was close. I almost fell.” When Malleus doesn’t respond, you sit up and move to take your blindfold off. Malleus places a hand upon your shoulder, guiding you back down. You flinch, arm stiffening in surprise. “W-Whoa! Seriously, Horns, you can’t keep scaring me like this!”

“There’s nothing to fear,” he assures you. “Do you trust me?”

“Of course. If it weren’t for you, I would’ve kissed the floorboards.”

Malleus nods, as if having expected this answer—it’s unsatisfactory for a reason he cannot list—and traces the path down your stomach, along your hips, to the waistband of your trousers. You seem so fragile in this moment, so vulnerable and so very in need of protection. He’s watched you long enough to know of the dangers you often find yourself in. You move to sit up again, but he looms over you, straddling you, and he thinks you can sense his towering presence. It’s that unique sixth sense he’s heard all humans secretly possess.

“H-Hold on. Wait. What...” You swallow thickly, remaining completely still. “What’re you doing, H-Horns?”

“Do you trust me?” he asks again. “You must trust me. I mean you no harm.”

“No... No, I really don’t right now. Can we stop? I want—” You squirm under him when his fingers curl around the waistband, tugging both your trousers and panties down slowly. He peers at the modest lace trim. Like the rest of you, it is very pretty. “I want to stop. Please. Hey, stop. Seriously—”

You reach blindly for him, your voice rising in panicked pitches. His hand finds yours, fingers intertwining. Though you try to pull away at the next second, his grip remains firm. Not enough to break your hand, but it does cause you a bruising discomfort. Your lips twist into a trembling frown and a meek whine squeezes itself out of you, your chest rising and falling with quick breaths.

“You will trust me in due time,” Malleus murmurs it like it’s a vow, his voice so soothing it’s like muffled rainfall. He notices the silent tear that slips out from under the blindfold, and he swipes it away with his thumb. Out of sight, out of mind. “I only wish to prepare you.”

“P-Prepare...” You shake your head, voice straining. “For... For what? Malleus, stop. I don’t want...this. Please stop.”

No longer Horns. He’s lost that name now, but it’s nothing he can’t retrieve.

He slips his gloves off and, after having coated his digits with enough of his own saliva, works your pussy open with two slender fingers, quietly amazed at how soft and warm it is within. Your body goes rigid under him, your free hand grabbing at the sheets while the other remains imprisoned in his grasp. You could take the blindfold off, but you don’t, instead sniffling through a mantra of stop and take it out. He knows you don’t mean those words, for it isn’t long before you’re tightening around the three fingers curled within you, your labored breathing punctuated with little gasps and groans. It is most adorable.

There is beauty in submission. Malleus knows this well because when you arch your back, dig your nails into his hand, and gush around his fingers with a strangled cry you are the most exquisite portrait he has ever had the blessing of admiring. He could spend lifetimes pondering your angles, considering dainty brushstrokes, wondering about the skillful hands that sculpted you so perfectly. So beautifully. So humanly.

You’re panting when he comes back to his senses, having slipped a fourth finger into your wet warmth without realizing it. There’s a strain in his pants, an ache that had once been so dull and is now so unbearably tight. The insatiable, animalistic part of Malleus wants nothing more than to spear you on his cocks, to feel the stretch as your pussy envelops both in its gummy walls, to hear your wails and kiss your lips puffy, to press his hand against your bloated belly and feel the sinful connection for himself. But there is the rational, sweeter side that knows you would be in a world of pain if he was not given enough time to properly stretch you, and so he decides that, as pressing as his needs may be, yours are far more important. 

He wishes to cherish with you for many years to come, not break you beyond repair.

“We shall spend the night here, my dearest,” he declares, the fondness of a smile in his tone. His hand releases yours momentarily so that he may tug the blindfold up to see your sparkling eyes. Tears of joy, no doubt. “Until I can fit more than just my fingers so that we can truly connect as one.”

He leans in to press his lips upon yours in a chaste kiss; you do not reciprocate. Malleus would have thought he’d put you to sleep with how frozen you’ve become. But you’re merely looking at him with defeated eyes—eyes that are so beautiful even when reflecting the pains of betrayal. Malleus tells himself that this is the teary-eyed ecstasy he has heard of in the stories Lilia would often recall when he was old enough to hear such tales. It is not pain; it is pleasure.

And there is beauty in both.

#yandere twisted wonderland x reader #yandere twst #yandere twst x reader #yandere twisted wonderland #yandere malleus draconia #yandere malleus draconia x reader #yandere malleus #yandere malleus x reader #n/sfw #tw: noncon #lunar love hotel 2023 #omg my first ever malleus writing!!!! #i hope he is characterized well orz #(i may have gone slightly over 1k words ;;; please forgive me)

[dandymaximilian]

I'm absolutely in love with the character designs from The Amazing Digital Circus. Just looking at them helps me understand their fundamental personalities.

Ragatha is human-like, which represents being "grounded in reality." She remembers what it was like to be a human, so she enjoys routine.

She's a doll; a companion for Pomni and newcomers. She is kind-hearted, humble, yet level-headed. But she's barely hanging on by a thread; she is literally stitched together. Her button eye takes away her sight; she is not all there.

Similarly, Pomni is mostly human because she's the most attached to her past life. She is new, after all.

Her skin is ghostly white, which showcases her frightened state of mind. Her pupils are wheels, which showcases her spiraling anixety. The blackness around her eyes reveals her stress.

She's in a jester suit because she is doomed to perform in servitude for the "show." The color blue of the costume represents her cowardace, and red represents her passion.

Gangle is a persona more than a person. Like some of the others, she has lost track of her humanity.

She is a comedy/tragedy mask, showcasing her two moods. The comedy mask represents her immersion in the false happy environment and being a genuine part of the happy "show."

Her tragedy mask represents her despair; her reminder of the horror of their existence. Her broken mask represents her complete break in the immersion, which Pomni and Jax literally crack. Her tears showcase her sadness and empathy for others.

Gangle's body is ribbons because she is "easy to unravel."

Jax is mischief personified. His yellow teeth and eyes make him look sleazy. He is lanky because he is a slacker. He perpetually smirks to play up his persona. The only time it flinches is when he remembers his or the other's humanity.

He wears overalls because he's laid-back and casual. And the gloves because he literally has become a walking cartoon character.

Zooble can not be defined. They are literally abstract. They are inherently rebellious: they change their parts at will, swear, and refuse to participate in the activities. They lost track of their humanity, but they appear to accept it.

They are not all there, shown by their spiraling eye. Yet they are also perpetually uninterested, shown by their half-lidded eye. They have the potential to fight, shown by their claw. But they also have the potential to comfort, shown by their human-like hand.

Kinger is a mystery. His human-like veiny eyeballs bulge, like he is all-watching and stessed and tired as hell for it. He can be very observant despite appearing to be out of it. Also, I like how it looks like he has a mouth:

O-o

But why is he a king chess piece? Just how important is he to the group that everyone will be lost without him? Is he responsible for the game? This remains to be seen, I suppose.

#the amazing digital circus #tadc #tadc ragatha #tadc pomni #tadc jax #tadc gangle #tadc zooble #tadc kinger #ramblings

[antiv3nom]

Bedman (Romeo)

omg havent had an excuse to talk abt bedman in a hot minute thank u anon...

favorite thing about them:

i love the tragedy of his story arc... that feels like a weird thing to say but its the first thing that came to mind! just. look. the road to hell paved with good intentions bit taken to the extreme really works here!!! the idea that he remembered the name of every person he ever killed because he was under the impression he could bring them all back, only to have the rug pulled from under him? hurts me! in the best way!!!

other than that i do enjoy his design, both romeo himself and the bed :] i wanna give my bedman cosplay another try sometime for sure, it didnt work out for various reasons but i have most of the components and would enjoy cosplaying him fr in the future

least favorite thing about them:

i think i dont really dislike anything about the way bedman is written in the source material strongly enough to point it out here? i think my main gripe is the way the fandom treats him to either extreme, like theres "bedman did nothing wrong ever" people and "bedman is horrific" people and i wish both camps would chill out and recognize hes like. a complex character? but i do think most people do this already which i can appreciate

favorite line:

im a little obsessed w his win line against may in xrd

"I do not understand humans who are motivated by love. A person is born, lives for a number of years, and interacts with up to eight billion people. What proof is there of something they can't even define?"

bc like. buddy. you dont even realize it. YOURE driven by love. all this shit wasnt just for yourself but it was for delilah too!!! fuck!!! you dont even see it as love you see it as necessary because shes that important to you!!! and dont even get me STARTED on the bed in strive and how its still running because of his last minute code additions which almost act as the last part of his will to protect delilah. GAHHHH

brOTP:

BEDMAN AND AXL INTERACTIONS. PLEASE. PLEASE. their dynamic is so interesting as characters with such fascinating ways of interacting with the world...gah. GAH. and no one fucking talks about it!!!

OTP:

sinbed. must i wlabo.

ok but i will, im not as into them as i was like a year ago but i still do really enjoy their dynamic. sin being such a beacon of hope and being so willing to see people as good contrasted with a post-xrd living bedman (bc all my sinbed stuff exists within au but im having fun out here so sue me) seeing himself as inherently evil due to his actions despite his intentions and believing no one would ever care for him? it hits for me

nOTP:

i dont know of anything off the top of my head that ive seen for him??? nothing prevalent at least.

actually on second thought i think ive seen like one instance of bedman and ram in a romantic sense, and that im not a fan of but i guess i could see the appeal, just not my thing

random headcanon:

this motherfucker would have gotten heated in some internet forums or wiki talk pages, DEDICATED to accuracy out here and he WILL fight you about it

unpopular opinion:

not entirely certain i have one? i think the "bedman while flawed is not actually a terrible person and was doing his best given his extremely fucked up circumstances" is a pretty cool take by this point for most people

i think the only thing i have is that my interpretation of bedman has always been as like a young adult rather than a kid but like i dont really have a concrete opinion on that and i totally understand people who do see him as a kid like its entirely understandable to do so

song i associate with them:

other than his character themes, its GOTTA be dramaturgy by eve, which just. it gives the vibes. read the english lyrics it will make sense i prommy

favorite image of them:

THE EEPER...

OTHER than this one its more an animation but his 6p in xrd is so silly i love it so bad...and for a more serious option his instant kill is really cool

#ask #random ramblings #bedman #ask game #anon

[yuri-is-online]

Call me tragedy anon w the way i slurp that shit up real. Okay but in all /srs i'm a firm believer that most love stories or stories in /gen in TWST are mainly happy love stories tragedy? Never heard of them!!!

But i think most would be more fascinated to figure out thats its popular in Yuu's world. Like why??? Don't people not like being happy more than sad? and its true!! But there's always something cathartic about well-written tragedies (imo at least) and people enjoy that feeling. Personally the media i enjoy and stick to me the most are usually the ones that have open ended or ambiguos endings that leave a bittersweet after taste in your mouth. Something about retrospecting and finding peace that yes even though it never ended well, there was happiness, or maybe if not happiness then maybe peace to be found in a story like that. The love was still there!!!! Do you understand!!!???

Orpheus can never be with Eurydice ever again, but the two loved each other!! Icarus will always die but the sun kissed his face!!! Do you understand!!!!!!!!!!

I want to thank you for sending me this on valentine's day. It is so fitting I should have answered immediately.

Welcome to the stage tragedy annon! W takes in this ask right here your brain is massive.

Orpheus can never be with Eurydice ever again, but the two loved each other!! Icarus will always die but the sun kissed his face!!! Do you understand!!!!!!!!!!

I UNDERSTAND I AM THINKING I AM FEELING I AM CRYING BUT I FEEL SO FULFILLED!!!!!!!!!!

I really like happy endings and have a hard time playing the bad end in otomes but one of my favorites, Birushana has these tragic endings that I have done some of and GOD. The image of Shungen screaming at Tomomori as he cradles Shanao's dead body, saying he can't just take her away as Tomomori prepares to jump into the ocean and drown with her only for him to say "You misunderstand, she is taking me." .·°՞(≧□≦)՞°·. i am crying, screaming, throwing up etc. and so on because fucking damn that's what it's about. The love is so real it has to endure even when everything else is gone.

I think that Idia might find some morbid comfort in that concept which is why I mentioned the Orpheus and Eurydice connection in his long fic musing. I don't think he would find it romantic necessarily, but certainly comforting. Like at least by Yuu's weird standards his curse isn't the major set back he thought it would be and even if things end badly they will still see it as worth it? That's weird, odd, and something he outwardly wants to make fun of but not something he really can when that's what he has come to believe too after his overblot.

Jade and Azul both work really well for this too. Azul because he believes love is inherently exploitable, so the idea that stories end badly in your world just further cements his own bias. The idea that you would consider the bad ending to make things no less real or valuable though, THAT he would need some time with. What do you mean Orpheus fails to save Eurydice is the point of the story? He has a hard time coping with the idea of losing already, adding that into romance as a selling point doesn't make sense from a consultant's point of view. You want to win in the end no? Not just be left ugly crying alone. Jade on the other hand... I just like to see him eat shit on something like this tbh. "Oh I would never do something like that, what an idiot for looking back-" Jade would actually show up at the gates of the underworld and he would still look back because he needs you to be there exactly like the myth foretold and he would be cursing fate the entire time.

I feel like I leave Floyd out of these sort of things so I want to add him here because I feel like he would dismiss the idea of tragedy as a good thing but not because he like. Doesn't think it doesn't exist or something he just doesn't care. He already knows the time you spend together will be enjoyable, and if it ends with death or with him going too close to the sun, well that was the point wasn't it? Kind of like he gets the point but not because of the example given. It's also why I could see him actually successfully making it through to a happy ending. He has this line in Chapter 7 when Lilia is scolding the Octatrio that made me scream because of how good of a job the VA did with it:

And if he says his place is a happy ending I believe he'd make it ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

#<3 asks #twisted wonderland x reader #twst x reader #i was prepared to write and post like #actual fic and then an inconvenience occurred #god i should think more about tragedies with the boys #i have some thoughts about a jean of arc coded yuu and rollo #and then like some stuff with azul involving necromancy #don't worry about it

[lakesbian]

stirring aisha around in my brain soup pot. there's like zero textual anything for this because wildbow isn't even capable of not objectifying her himself but btwn triggering from fear of rape + various unspecified abusive stepdads + the inherent trauma of being societally sexualized and fetishized as a black girl who, like, Exists and also god forbid enjoys wearing shorts sometimes plus the whole neglect and the thing where the one family member she's really close to only knows how to protect her by controlling her and the sense of being an unwanted nuisance to society in general because of the disability. she is really sooo about wanting to be accurately perceived and wanted but being terrified of being seen wrong & consumed. aisha laborn my girl. anyway i don't have a point to this i just wish wildbow connected the dots and wrote her good. i also wish his dumb ass didn't not only pull the narrative equivalent of the black man dying first (black boy's arc kersploding and shitting itself first) but then have his own damn sister not give a single shit abt him. but i digress it feels tangentially related to her problems disorders that after her loved ones die, w/ the exception of her own brother whom she does not care about because wildbow is insane and needs to be strung up and pelted with tomatoes, she insists on making sure that they're Perceived And Treated Right. alec's first memorial very pointedly capturing the essence of him, particularly the tragedy of his life that everyone else missed, placed where people can't Not look at it, alec's second memorial being faithfully rendered dolls (my doll imagery boy ♥) she insists on people taking care of, her being very vehement about people not disrespecting or misunderstanding taylor's memory, etc. would love to come up with what she does for brian in secret good worm where wildbow doesn't shit the bed everywhere but i haven't thought of anything yet unfortunately. well. i am leaning towards the previously stated memorial leather jacket & hairstyle + her just like. perpetually loudly insisting that he was The Specialest Best Big Brother Ever if anyone ever speaks critically about him. not because he wasn't flawed but as sort of a "fuck you you WILL appreciate how hard he tried only I get to be mean to brian." i digress it's very Augh Ough how she insists on making sure that what's happened to her, the misperception & obscurity she's afraid of, never happens to her loved ones. quite frankly one of the characters of all time ever. aisha laborn rectangular prism. this originally started as a post about why redditors are wrong about shipping aisha and alec but then i started thinking other things so now it is not about that.

#scarf don't look #worm spoilers #thanks for coming to my train of thought with no paragraph breaks

[that-ari-blogger]

One Last Hurrah (I'm Not That Girl (Reprise), As Long As You're Mine)

Those who are familiar with my blog will know that I don't particularly agree with the concept of genre. I think it is restrictive, and the dynamicism of storytelling makes it less important for writers than the general public is aware for.

Wicked backs up my claim, I think. The opening number is a booming epic that Glinda switches to a more quiet tragedy, at which point the first act becomes a love story set in a boarding school. The second act mirrors this, slightly, crashing in with a full scale war that Glinda again pushes back to a love story. That same love story and love triangle then takes precedent in act two. Until it abruptly doesn't.

As Long As You're Mine is the finale of the romance arc of this story, and it centres around enjoying the life you have before change takes effect. Although, the romance is a love triangle, Elphaba and Fiyero get a song, but Glinda? Where does her romance end?

With Elphaba. The love story of this musical ends with Glinda thinking of Elphaba.

Let me explain.

SPOILERS AHEAD: (Wicked, Dead Poet Society)

"Don't wish, don't start Wishing only wounds the heart There's a girl I know He loves her so I'm not that girl"

Well gee, this looks familiar.

This is an interesting case of thematic association. Because on it's own, I'm Not That Girl (Reprise) isn't really that important or interesting. It's a nice melody about unrequited love, which is heartfelt and everything, but not really saying much.

But the word's "on it's own" are doing a lot of heavy lifting in that paragraph. This song is the reprise of an earlier number by the same name, and that means all of the meaning from that song gets carried over to this, and it gets to give its own take on those themes, which is interesting.

In the internet world of oversimplification and memes, one will probably come across the idea that teachers overanalyse things. The "the curtains are blue because he likes the colour blue" joke. The weird thing is, this joke is correct, but it misses the point entirely.

Yes, overanalysing media is exactly what folks like me do. Technically, you don't need to engage with anything more than the baseline of what you have been shown. If your takeaway from blue curtains is that the owner likes the colour blue, go for it, nobody is stopping you, and that is perfectly reasonable. The key, is that that approach is not inherently more or less valuable than an overanalytical one.

I will wager that blue curtains will evoke a certain emotion in you. Maybe they are a deep blue, like the night just before dawn, giving you a tired, more chill vibe. Maybe they are much lighter, like the sky, giving a more youthful atmosphere. Or maybe they do not match with the rest of the room at all, to comedic or unsettling effect.

The point I am making is that subtext exists, and you don't have to dwell on it, but its a vital part of how communication works. It's also usually a majour factor in engagement. So, at the very least, acknowledging it will help you understand why you do or don't like certain stories.

Once again, I turn to PBS's Wicked In Concert and recommend the versions of these songs from that. This version of I'm Not That Girl (Reprise) is sung by Gabrielle Ruiz, and is really good.

For the moment, however, I'd like to conduct a thought experiment. Imagine that Wicked is actually happening. This is a world where people spontaneously break into song and this isn't weird.

Do you have any idea how hard it is to make up a song once, let alone mimic a song that you were not present for?

In universe, there is only two ways Glinda would know this song. Either she overheard Elphaba pining, or Elphaba sang it to her. Take that as you will.

Exiting that thought experiment and back into overanalysing things because it is fun. I have another post about I'm Not That Girl and it's thematic implications (link), so check that out if it interests you, it will form a background for what I am saying here.

Essentially, I'm Not That Girl is the Jolene of musical theatre. It is a song about resignation, but it's core idea is this: Elphaba doesn't think of herself as beautiful or deserving of love. The person she associates with those qualities is Glinda herself. The song is essentially a biromantic heartbreak, when both of Elphaba's love interests love each other, and she can't bring herself to break that for either of them. That is the meaning ascribed to this song and these notes.

Now, Glinda sings the same melody, and it is suddenly flipped. She realises she has been outplayed in the romance game, but she can't bring herself to break it apart for either Fiyero, or Elphaba. The audience doesn't need to hear the same song again, just the highlight reel to let them know that these same emotions are being felt.

The song then cuts off, and is replaced by a much more active, much more passionate number, As Long As You're Mine. The meaning of which has been summed up best by my flatmate. "Reject society, bonk in a hedge".

That is kind of the entire point of this song, though, isn't it? Living in the moment in total freedom. It is proof that Elphaba isn't crazy, that there are others who see her dream, and that even if this goes wrong, the story will end with her happy.

Full disclaimer, I am asexual, so I cannot comment on the more intimate subtext of this song. I am aware it is happening, but I would rather stay away from the specific thematic significance of that, if that is ok.

The transition of this song comes through that repeated low note. It is hammered, like a war drum, and it drives home that urgency and collision of the two plots. This is the moment in which the musical goes from a romance to an epic, and that rhythm is a threat of what is to come.

Although it is notable that the swaying melodies of Elphaba and Fiyero overpower this drum, their love holding off the inevitable. Specifically, the instrument hitting the note changes from a piano to what my, admittedly lacking, musical knowledge thinks is a bass guitar. (Music scholars, please correct me on any of this). That change means that the heavy beat becomes distorted and stretched, as if time is stretching out.

"And just for this moment As long as you're mine I've lost all resistance And crossed some borderline. And if it turns out It's over too fast I'll make every last moment last As long as you're mine."

Would you look at that, there is even explicit lines in the song about stretching time out and seizing the day. Carpe Diem.

Dead Poet Society is one of the greatest films ever made, and that isn't just my Robin Williams bias speaking. Despite some elements that haven't aged well, the film is truly heart wrenching and has a meaning pretty similar to As Long As You're Mine.

As a side note, this film has a lot more similarities to Wicked than you think. It's about challenging unjust rules, and forging your own path. It's a film about personal freedom, essentially. Although it ends less than happily. It also has about the same amount of queer subtext as Wicked.

In any case, the central thematic of "Carpe diem, seize the day" tells its characters and its students to take life as it is, and live it to the fullest. It is about making the most out of limited time. Quite a lot like As Long As You're Mine.

The ending of Dead Poet Society is a tragedy. It ends with the death of a student and the loss of the teacher's job. But it also ends with hope. Things change in Dead Poet Society. The Latin teacher shifts up his lesson, the boys actually learn, and the "Oh captain, my captain" scene is synonymous with looking at the past and making the future better because of, and in spite of it.

That's a familiar ending, isn't it. The main character dies, and the people in their life resolve to make the world better because of the life they lived. In Wicked, the death isn't permanent, because this is a gospel and no main character in a gospel can ever stay dead for more than a few days.

That motif of making time last is reflected in the music as well. Each stanza has a squash and stretch thing going on with the formation. The triplet brings the three notes within together and plays them faster than is normal, making them feel like they are stumbling over each other, falling forwards, until that held note at the end evens out the pace. Things are moving quickly, but it is a conscious decision. to slow down.

Those held notes also create a feeling of clarity in the music. Once again, music knowledge ain't my forte, but to me, this seems like it is working in a similar fashion to key frame animation. Each held note is the crux of the phrase, and the rest is just making up the difference.

Which means that there is a neat little progression going on here. The first phrase, "kiss me too fiercely" contains two, a B flat on "fierce" and an octave fall to another B flat on "ly", as Elphaba tries to fly away, but is brought back down. Then there is the F on "tight", and the E flat on the latter third of "believing", before the stanza links back to B flat for "tonight".

This, according to google, forms a B flat chord with a suspended fourth, which loops back on itself to form a stable, self-enclosed sentence that descends to keep itself together.

The second phrase operates within the same notes but changes the inflection slightly.

That last note creates an upward inflection to prepare the audience for the chorus, rising into it to set up a crashing theme of power and freedom that... doesn't arrive yet.

Instead, we get the same notes repeated, mostly. It's a quiet moment, an E flat that rises to an F for "borderline", then to a high C for "fast", before resolving back to F and then down to a lower C.

Ok music scholars help me with this please. The sheet music that I have found for this song (link) claims the second part of "fast" is a C flat, which my piano app tells me doesn't exist. Any clarification on this would be really nice.

In short, this is understated, and this isn't the first time we've heard an understated first chorus in a Wicked love song, is it? That's how the first chorus of Defying Gravity sits, before Glinda joins Elphaba and pushes her to new confidence.

Which leads me back to my point. Elphaba relies on other people, she needs Fiyero to comfort her, but also to prove she is right. That's the moment she is cherishing.

When Fiyero joins in, he literally makes the song more hopeful by changing the key signature from E flat majour to C majour. He is more graceful and easy with this. He is the rock that Elphaba is anchored to and that supports her.

As such, that final chorus looks like this:

"Just for this moment. As long as you're mine. Come be how you want to, and see how bright we shine. Borrow the moonlight, until it is through. And know I'll be here holding you. as long as you're mine."

Freedom. Come be how you want to, I'll be there to support you. This is a musical about dreams and reality colliding, and this song is the victory lap of things going well. One small dream has become real, that being the desire for love. And if one is possible, what else can Elphaba do?

On a related note, if Fiyero is the rock that grounds and supports her, what might happen if he is taken away?

FINAL THOUGHTS

Bear with me. Chord analysis is new to me, so if that was completely false, please let me know. As a behind the curtain thing, this blog exists as a place for my hyper fixations to breathe, but also to help me learn more about this whole analytical thing. So, any advice from people who are more knowledgeable than me would be greatly appreciated.

You may note that I didn't talk that much about Fiyero, and there is a reason for that. Honestly, I don't think Fiyero's character in the second act of this musical is that interesting. I'm sure there is lots to talk about with him, but to me, he has been reduced to "love interest for the main character", which I find less captivating as "jock on the verge of an existential breakdown". That's just my opinion.

Next week, I will be looking at No Good Deed, the first true clash of dreams and reality, and Elphaba's breaking point. So stick around if that interests you.

Previous - Next

#rants #literary analysis #literature analysis #what's so special about...? #wicked #wicked fiyero #wicked elphaba #wicked musical #wicked the musical #elphaba #fiyero #as long as you're mine #wicked is a queer story #dead poet society #robin williams

[fangswbenefits]

Ascended Astarion doesn't appeal to me like at all (I'm a tragedy lover, but not in my adventure fantasy, and a lot of fans don't see how it's tragic so that's just the age-old letting other people ruin shit for me) but like I'm sick of people acting like one ending or the other is like a moral judgment one way or the other. It is on your character definitely, doing the ascended path inherently means you're playing an evil character and an evil Astarion, but that doesn't reflect anything on the people who enjoy it. Ascended is a great ending because Astarion is the type of person who would stick to what he knows and conflate power for freedom and safety when really it's just isolation (…i love tragedy heh)

(obviously, this is all directed at that anon, not you)

I can't stand Ascended Astarion in game tbh. Kudos to Neil for making him sound so icky 😅 however, I think I would like to explore some parts of his ascended route. I have a loose outline for that fic, but I would still need to figure out how to truly approach him, because it's very hard for me in a way. Spawn Astarion is very easy, but Ascended? Yeah... 😅

Thank you for your words, friend 🩷 I don't care whichever path people choose for Astarion! Just have fun!

#answered ‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾

[swallow-the-bird]

Do you have any favorite Harry Potter ships?

Well, besides my all-time favorite Grindeldore, I’m actually quite eclectic in my tastes! 🤣

Snarry, Snamione, Snily, Jily, Hedric, Dnarry, Sirry… I’ve read fanfictions about all of them, and I’ve enjoyed them. Perhaps it’s because the Harry Potter fandom has so many talented writers. As long as the story is captivating, I’m thrilled to read it!

There’s another pairing that I initially thought was improbable, but later became infatuated with—

Harrymort/Tomarry!!

***** ‼️ LONG post alert ‼️ Oh, whenever I get to a topic that excites me, I always end up being such a chatterbox🤣Please also be aware of what I say below is only my VERY SUBJECTIVE opinions ‼️ *****

While Harrymort/Tomarry seem to have a lover-enemy dynamic similar to Grindeldore, the premise for each is vastly different. Gellert and Albus once passionately loved each other in their youth, while Tom/Voldemort and Harry share deep animosity and are destined adversaries. How could they possibly be together? Moreover, I once believed that Tom Riddle was an emotionless monster. (But I don’t mean that in a derogatory sense!)

While Gellert might be categorized as a sociopath, capable of true loyalty and emotions towards a select few - Albus Dumbledore- and taking a lifetime to learn how to love, he at least has the capacity to love. This is evident when he ultimately understands the true meaning of remorse and willingly sacrifices his life to protect another’s grave.

But what about Tom?

In my eyes, Tom is a complete psychopath. Perhaps his traumatic childhood twisted his moral compass, but some characteristics seem innate and psychological. Tom’s emotional blunting seems more pronounced. He inherently lacks empathy and remorse. Even if he can comprehend others’ emotions and manipulate them, he doesn’t genuinely understand or empathize with them, which is why he can’t grasp the concept of remorse. Hence, he chose to become Voldemort. This made me question:

How can such a person love? He doesn’t even understand what love is.

This mirrors Gellert’s scathing taunt to Voldemort, “…there is so much you do not understand—!”

Yes, Tom Riddle—Voldemort— does not, and cannot understand love. But can he?

Some of my favorite authors have remarked:

“Yes, Tom Riddle—Voldemort— does not understand love, and he may never be able to. But just because you don’t understand something, does that mean you can’t have it?”

Harry is like a reflection of Tom Riddle. While Tom Riddle, in his hatred and fear, denied love and chose to become Voldemort, Harry, despite facing the same hatred and fear, came to understand what courage meant and chose love.

“Just by letting Harry see even the tiniest hint of Voldemort’s humanity, he will bravely embrace that one-in-a-million hope.”— Oh yes, hope. This is how many Tomarry/Harrmort fictions begin their stories.

Harry might harbor hatred for Voldemort for a lifetime, but the essence of forgiveness isn’t the absence of hate; it’s about learning to move on. If there’s anyone willing to embrace a shattered soul with such heinous crimes, it would be Harry Potter. Just as he has embraced death with the same courage, it’s this Harry who, when confronting his lifelong nemesis, still chooses “Expelliarmus”.

This love-hate story is inevitably not just about the hopes and courage of love, but also about its pain and despair. It makes us question the nature of love, hate, life, death, and humanity.

Harry understands love, so he believes in humanity, which gives him hope and courage, especially when mired in human flaws and tragedies.

“You see the world in such a unique way; I believe even despair seems colorful to someone like you.”—this is a line from one of my favorite Harrmort stories, “One thing he will never know”. In it, Harry chooses to cling to that sliver of hope in Voldemort and falls hopelessly in love with him. When Harry grapples with guilt, Dumbledore leaves him with this wisdom.

"It may seem terribly wrong, but if I may venture a guess, it must also feel so right," were Dumbledore's last words to the boy, "Harry, I don't think there is any shame in love. You must never doubt that when someone has been loved like this, it always leaves a mark, and that it will eventually change everything. You are much braver than I ever was.”

Thanks to these brilliant fanfictions, I’ve come to believe in the heart Voldemort thought he never had. Even if it’s fractured, it still exists, and a sliver of humanity remains. Perhaps we all need a broad perspective to see the world:

Not understanding love doesn’t mean you can’t have it.

I just realized I wrote so much! Maybe it’s because I’ve never shared my love for Tomarry/Harrmort with anyone after Grindeldore. Here’s my chance!

PS One of my favorite fanfictions, “One thing he will never know,” is written by a talented Taiwanese author in Chinese.If you’re interested, you can check it out here:

(* I've taken the liberty of translating some of the lines that impressed me most into English, as I wrote above.)

I also have read many excellent Tomarry/Harrmort stories from the English fandom. If you have any recommendations, please share them with me!

#harry potter #grindeldore #albus dumbledore #gellert grindelwald #tomarry #Harrmort #this is love and what love can be #my very subjective opinion again #voldemort #tom riddle

[7grandmel]

Todays rips: 05/10/2023

He4rt4che and 4SGOR3

Season 4 Episode 2 Featured on: SiIvaGunner's Highest Quality Rips: Volume for Nintendo 3DS

Ripped by SonicHeroesFan1

Part of what I enjoy about SiIvaGunner events is seeing all the different ways they can be interpreted by its rippers - how the team works within what's otherwise set up as restrictions. One of the most infamous examples of this, for instance, regards a certain rip from the Phineas & Ferb Takeover in Season 4 Episode 2 - a mashup between Fuck Love and Donkey Kong Country music that at first glance has no connection to the Phineas & Ferb show. Even still, the song used in the mashup was featured as the joke of a moderately popular Phineas & Ferb shitpost video, and said video was used as the prelude to the rip in question - despite XXXTentacion being seemingly entirely removed from Phineas & Ferb, the rip found a way to make itself relevant to the takeover.

Such is also the case with today's pair of rips, uploaded right alongside each other on the Valentine's Day 2020 event. This was the first time the SiIvaGunner channel properly held an event for Valentine's, and they went about it in a rather funny way - rather than focusing on love specifically, the day was themed entirely around loneliness instead - half making fun of incel behavior, half jokes about divorce, cuckoldry and all other forms of rocky relationships. It was a pitch-perfect event for just a day's length, and a lot of the rips uploaded slotted neatly into the above categories. Yet He4rt4che and 4SGOR3 were a bit more subtle in how they related to the joke, and did something really cool with their respective tracks in the process.

Heartache and ASGORE are, as I'm sure you're aware, the battle themes of Toriel Dreemur and Asgore Dreemur from Undertale, respectively. This immediately connects the songs to the event in a way - the characters were once married but had a falling out due to events that transpire before the player meets either one of them, and both are evidently left in a sort of shaky mental state because of it. The themes were intentionally made to share a similar melody and progression, yet they're made distinct in very specific ways - the different time signature and differing instrumentation combined give each track its own distinct feel despite their similarities.

What SonicHeroesFan1 did is, effectively, play around with making the tracks come even closer to one another in similarity, by switching the time signatures between them. Heartache, a track meant to sound unstable and uneasy in large part due to its 3/4 time signature, suddenly has a strangely different energy to it in He4rt4che, still with an overaching tone of sorrow and tragedy yet now sounding a lot more "stable" as it were. ASGORE, meanwhile, is given an almost jazz-like sound in 4SGOR3 when going from 4/4 to 3/4, as its more nimble feel meshes with the still just as powerful instrumentation to remain as confident as ever...yet perhaps a little more emotionally vulnerable? Its fascinating, really, to see just how these seemingly small tweaks - which still basically required rethinking these songs and their progression entirely - affect the listening experience so much.

And, again, its further interesting seeing just how well this slotted into the lonely, troubled emotional vibe of Valentine's Day 2020. These two songs, so inherently different yet also inherently similar, trying to learn from one another almost as if to emphasize, when all it does is just further highlight how different the two are. Its a fascinating experiment, and the pair together were huge surprise hits for me early on in the season.

#todays siivagunner #season 4 episode 2 #siivagunner #siiva #rip bundle #SonicHeroesFan1 #undertale #deltarune #toby fox #asgore #toriel #utdr #utdr music #heartache #undertale music #deltarune music #Youtube #Bandcamp

[alatabouleau]

Why the Beach divorce is unfixable (and why it doesn't work in Good Omens 2)

I think we can all agree that XMFC is a ...~flawed~ movie. I mean, I could write long, long posts about the inherent sexism and racist implications. But today, I want to talk about one thing that actually worked. That made so much sense and hit so hard, it single-handedly saved the whole film for me. Something that I've seen come up recently, again, under the cherik-tag because of another fandom and show. Where something very similar happens, only that in this case, it doesn't work at all.

(if you haven't watched GO S2 yet, spoilers. Also, if you enjoyed the second season, good for you, but this post is going to be highly critical of it. Gotta be my last post about that, since I believe in getting it out of your system but not continually spreading negativity and holding a grudge.)

So, with this post, I would like to dissect *why*: What makes the Beach Divorce (TM) in First Class work so well is its preparation in the previous events of that film and even before that. The thing about First Class is, while not being the perfect prequel timeline-wise with the previous motives of the first X-Men-trilogy, it still works *because* it is a prequel. At least the very specific part about Professor X and Magneto. Because from the start, when Charles pulls Erik out of the ocean, we, the informed audience, know how it's going to end. But for some moments you tend to forget, when they go on a trip to recruit mutants, training them, working so well together. And even when the small cracks are already visible in the way they discuss the issue of mutant integration into society, one could still hope that maybe this time, they'll find a way, settle their differences and keep building the future. Together. But it's still the same story. It's still the same characters. And both Erik and Charles could never change their core values. Their lives have already shaped them into who they are inherently, and they can't change what they do because they can't change what they *want*. Which is why the line "We want the same thing." - "Oh, I'm sorry my friend. But we do not." hits so hard. Because both is true. On a broader level, they *do* both want the same thing. A better future for mutantkind. Yet just as equally true is the fact that they will never want to choose the same path to get there.

To point it out directly, what makes the Beach Divorce (TM) so brilliantly devastating is that it makes 100% perfect sense for the two characters to behave that way. It makes sense that Erik, who sees someone he clearly cares for (loves) being shot, again!, can't initially accept that it's his fault. It makes sense for him, after taking an unimaginable amount of courage to make himself vulnerable in front of Charles, for the very first time on screen in front of ANYNONE mind you, laying down awkwardly but raw in its honesty how much this man in his arms means to him, to immediately close off and become cold again after being utterly rejected, in his PoV. It makes just as much sense for Charles who spent this movie trying to show Erik that there could be other ways to deal with issues than violence, would perceive how Erik takes on a helmet that cuts him off, kills a man while Charles is IN HIS HEAD, tries to kill "innocent" people and ultimately, shoots him, to conclude that his friend (love interest) has long since chosen a path where he could never follow him and therefore see choosing different sides (breaking up) as the only available option. And you can try to "fix" this. You can make up any scenario you can think of, and it still would play out like that because you can't change how each Erik and Charles perceive the world without changing inherently who they are as characters. That's what makes it so gut-wrenchingly tragic.

The whole tragedy of the tale of cherik is laid out in this one scene: That if the two of them looked into the mirror of erised, they'd see the same vision. Them being together and leading the mutant race in a bright future for them. But in reality, the means they choose to get to that end will never be compatible. Its tragedy defines itself through a subversion of the trope "Love on opposite sides". Because they *choose* to be that. It's not external circumstances that keep them from being together, it's their own values and convictions. Which is what keeps me so obsessed with these two, since that is so uniquely ~them~. So why do I think that this very similar scene, which I described as so brilliantly heartbreaking in one context, doesn't work for Good Omens 2? well... BECAUSE IT DOESN'T MAKE SENSE FOR *THESE* CHARACTERS! Because Crowley and Aziraphale are the exact opposite of Cherik. They too, may be a couple that finds itself on different sides, but in their case, that's entirely an external circumstance, while their internal values and convictions align almost perfectly (depending whether we talk book omens or S1GO). Because the core of Ineffable spouses ship is that they are on the same side when they shouldn't be. They have their orders to obey, they have their instructions to despise each other, but they simply don't care enough since They are more interested in earth (and each other) than their respective head offices. That's what makes them work as friends, as a couple, as a ship. So when season 2 pulled a beach divorce à la Cherik, I was mad and disappointed because for me, it tears apart what their relationship is all about. And I'm ok with that kind of sacrifice when it gives you something valuable narrative-wise, which it didn't. And I have no hope of season 3 paying off for that. There was just not a big enough reason for me to break off the backbone of the entire story. That it is possible for you to make your own choices and be with the people you want to be with even if an oppressive system tells you no. It just doesn't make sense.

(So yeah, does this post only exist because I tried to get my head off from the destruction of a very dear ship of mine but also not wanting to spoil anyone's fun, by scrolling through the cherik-tag on Tumblr instead of the good omens tags and seeing so many posts comparing these two scenes, thinking "can you escape this *anywhere* on this page?" while also getting annoyed since how I pointed out in this post, it doesn't work at all in the second context? Maybe. But that's just me. ;))

#cherik #gos2 spoilers #ineffable husbands #good omens critical #beach divorce #annnnd another morning successfully wasted by writing awfully long tumblr posts! :D #like i said (hopefully) last post about GO2 since I want to move on

[seravphs]

Five recs (but the recs are my own writing) 

Thank you to lovely @gardenofnoah and @stellamancer for tagging me! 

Halfway through this I realized I was treating it like a writing critique instead of an actual fic rec so it’s more a reflection on how I’ve developed as a writer lmao.

hard feelings — I love Rin and the potential for exploring complicated relationships and feelings through him. Out of all my works, this is the most reader centric. I always feel like I can improve on my angst, and that it’s never as emotionally crippling as I want it to be, but I enjoyed writing about a more imperfect reader in this one. I’d love to keep writing for “bad” readers, actually!

ask me no questions and I’ll tell you no lies — I like amnqaitynl because it’s how I became friends with Aleks but also because I think it really captures the pining of a friendship turned something more. While it’s not high stakes because it’s just a college relationship, at the same time, it’s so intense! It’s everything to you, this friendship and the potential of losing it and the potential of earning something more, if you’re willing to take a little (big) risk.

religion, like crime, is also organized — Writing mafia fic is inherently hard because I’m constantly trying to avoid the wattpad label, but I really enjoyed exploring a fraught, tense dynamic where you’re not sure if the other person has your best interests at heart because the push and pull is so fun. Playing with religion as an element has always interested me as well!

a lost love takes a long time to die — The only long fic that made it onto this list is for Nanami, which is the way it should be. When I was writing Teen Dad Gojo all the way back in 2021, I always knew I was going to write a series of (unconnected) long fics for the big three (Nanami, Gojo, and Getou.) It took me until 2023 to finish alltalttd because I was so underdeveloped as a writer that I could never manage to write more than a few lines. I think it pushed me a lot in learning how to write fight scenes, deal with major character death, create a complete world, etc. whereas in Teen Dad! Gojo I completely bullshitted it if I’m being completely honest. I also really loved the supernatural element in this! If I could do it over, I wish I could explore the ghost marriage aspect more, especially culturally.

cruel summer universe — This is a love letter to the ordinary extraordinariness of having love in your life. Even though I write it to be very sweet and happy, in the back of my mind, I’m always thinking about how it ends in tragedy for Gojo and crew, so it reminds me of this quote about how even if the love didn’t save anyone, it was there. So this is the work that’s closest to my heart because it’s about how beautiful my relationships with others are.

It’s also my coming of age requiem! While I look forward to getting older, I’m nostalgic for a life that I know is now slipping out of my hands. I’ll still have the people I love, but the shape of our relationship will inevitably change with age. It feels like growing pains, something I have to resist until I realize how good it can be for me. 

Someone commented that it feels like a hug to read, and that’s how it feels to write. Even though it flopped so badly when I first posted it to the point where I thought it didn’t make it into the tags, it ended up being the fic I connect most with others on. Cruel Summer has brought me the most beautiful and heartfelt interactions.

honorable mention: arrive through obliteration — I don’t like the smut in this and I wish I could take it out lmao but I like the atmosphere! Fight scenes are also hard for me, so I’m really glad I pushed through it. 

honorable mention: starboy — technically star boy isn’t posted yet, but while I was working on it, I realized I’ve improved a lot since Teen Dad! Gojo. One of the reasons I dislike Teen Dad! Gojo so much is because I feel like a lot of the scenes could be trimmed down where I was struggling to move the timeline along, whereas in starboy, it feels fluid and natural.

no pressure tags: @seoafin (hope you’re enjoying Japan!) @oh-katsuki (also in Japan and presumably doing better things than thinking about fic lol but in case you want to!) @mintmatcha (no pressure means no pressure but I love your writing so I’d love to know what you think are your top five are!) @andypantsx3 (on hiatus...this is not shaping up well for me lol but if you’d like to, I’m interested in what your personal top five are!) @princess-okkotsu (you’ve definitely been tagged in this before but I would love to hear your thoughts on your writing!)  And anyone who’s reading! I’m serious, I would love to hear people’s thoughts on their own work! A writer I really like does author’s notes whenever she posts a fic and reading them after I finish a fic is the best feeling. 

#bea if you're reading this I'm so glad we mutually agree that #your god came to you bloody and you fell to your knees is INSANE writing #truly terrible what it did to me I'm so glad I found you #Niku between the moon's divide is going on my list right next to shine on the sea which is the very next thing I'm reading #I'm so so so excited for it based off the little bits and pieces I've been reading and the snippets of your writing #grateful every day for talented friends #but also the way half of my friends aren't available for comment lmao #this is what Gojo's non idol friends feel like in star power

[leonstamatis]

Requesting fic recs for quiet tragedies and intimate character studies. Preferably minimal focus on romance. I quite enjoy studies of mechanics as they correlate to narrative.

(send me a vibe and i’ll give you a blaseball fic reading list!)

all right. so i spent quite a bit of time on this one, but it is in no way comprehensive. there are tons of character studies in this fandom, and heaps of tragedies. also not usually a huge focus on romance in blaseball, especially post-discipline, although it’s certainly out there.

i tried to keep the characters varied and limit it to just one per author, but with most of these, if you like the one i’ve linked i can vouch for there being many more from the same person worth checking out. let’s get going.

“Agency” by kfrunt is what I would call quiet, although less of a tragedy or game mechanics. This is a Fall Ball-era fic looking at Wyatt Mason IV (Ivy) and Conditional Yuniesky, both of whom are struggling with their new worlds in different ways. It’s a good introduction to Conditional Yuniesky, and Ivy is a good introduction to the Wyatts as a whole, if you’re into that. They’re a whole little pocket of Blaseball fic that has plenty to comb through.

“dead mans party” by impernia is a look at how players mourn their lost teammates, particularly the Seattle Garages. It’s also a good look at the kind of person Arturo Huerta is, and from there, impern has a number of fics about both the Garages and their dead that hit this same vibe.

“F. All of the Above” by QueenEevee is certainly a tragic character study, looking at Hiroto Wilcox following Ruby Tuesday. It’s noteworthy less because of subject matter — if you want Ruby Tuesday content, there’s no shortage — but more because of the formatting. The way this fic approaches the loss knocks the wind out of me. A quick read, but a memorable one.

“the first dream” by swordfall is a look at Lottie Ceilingfan’s meteoric rise to fame and subsequent Ego status. If you don’t know Lottie, it’s a great introduction to her. It’s also a great introduction to what it was like on the Hades Tigers during the Expansion Era. A little less on the tragedy side, but there’s some mechanics and some creeping horror at the awareness of what’s to come.

“for agony i’d rather know” by novelsinourheads is a fantastic example of a character study that leans into the inherent weirdness of blaseball without getting too wacky with it. I’m a known Gerund Pantheocide liker and supporter, so it’s unsurprising to me that this one sticks in my brain, but Stara has dozens more character studies — many of which have an interesting and haunting approach to loss and tragedy, and all of which are well worth looking at.

“forever in a day” by paopuleaf is another Wyatt fic, but it’s also about the Vault, but it’s also about hauntings and ghosts and what it means to exist when you shouldn’t anymore. Atti is excellent at writing fics with a melancholy and lost sort of air, and this one is no exception.

“growing pains” by waveridden is a personal favorite of mine. it’s a little longer than a lot of the options on this list, but it’s worth the time and the effort. The fic as a whole is about a lot of things, mainly Gloria Bugsnax and xyr attempt to learn both humanity and family, and it makes me cry every time. There’s some game mechanics, because Hayden always includes those, but mostly it’s a look at Gloria and all the people xe loves.

“I thought i heard your laughter” by cedardivine is a fun one, honestly. Megan Ito exists in a lot of variations and I think everyone has a different take on them and who and how they are, but I like the idea that New Megan is just lurking around behind them. A character study with tragedy and game mechanics just off to the side, and a quick read besides.

“A Quick Guide to Unscattering in 8 Easy Steps” by Moondragon8 hits, I think, just about every note you’ve asked for. An interesting take on scattered players and their recovery, a look at Schneider Bendie as a character and what happens when you’re traded to a new team, and a creeping awareness that things aren’t as they should be. If you can’t tell, I love this one dearly.

“sequels” by waltztangocache similarly approaches a mechanic by way of an impacted player. I love the way Hen writes about the Ambush, and this look at Tom Kirby and what his life is like after revival. There’s a series of fics connected to this one, so if you like it, there’s more. I will admit I like Kirby best — but everything here is a great time.

“The Short (But Not Insignificant) ILB Career of Kiki Familia” by cyndakip is one that I think gets passed around a ton? But that’s because it’s good. Kiki wasn’t here for long at all, but you can tell from this that she was immediately loved by her team and the fans of said team, and her death is in fact a tragedy by its very nature. This is Discipline Era lore, so you know it hurts (positive).

“spend my days in gray” by birdlord5000 is like. THE Donia Bailey fic, to me? I didn’t know much about the player lore beforehand, but this fic cemented Donia as a deeply beloved of mine. It’s quiet, it’s a character study, it’s about what it’s like to be shadowed for years and years before being stolen by a Thieves Guild, and it’s honestly a lot of fun. Not a tragedy, but damn good.

“strange to be shaped by such strange men” by baliset is… agh. Remember when York Silk was incinerated, and the entire fandom ground to a halt as we tried to grapple with that? I do! It was a lot! And Marn captured the feelings of the moment to a T. It’s set in the Hall and features a lot of beloved dead guys, and I love how York is characterized here. Marn has tons of great fics worth reading; this is up there as one of my favorite ones, though.

“the sun selecting targets” by indigostohelit is the only Jaylen and Mike fic i am going to recommend to you. But. There are so many. It’s just that the narration in this one is incredible, and I think about it often. It’s got a lot about the original necromancy and the shadowing of Mike Townsend, which I know we’ve all heard about by now and et cetera, but. God it’s so good.

“there beneath” by haunthouse! Another Wyatt fic! This one is about Wyatt Mason VI, or Violet. I will admit to being biased toward this one because it includes the Boston Flowers, my team of choice for almost the entirety of Blaseball’s run. But like. If you want tragedy, and you want game mechanics, the Wyatts tend to be a good starting place. They often die at the end.

“there’s no weather at all” by mantisqueer is a sleeper fave that I was delighted to rediscover today. Nothing like a Neerie McCloud fic to make you sad about players doomed from the very start. Moth does a really good job here at characterizing being Elsewhere; it’s one of my favorite interps, although I would encourage you to mind the CWs.

and that’s what I have! there are plenty more I would direct you to, but most of them are by someone(s) already listed here. so if one of the ones i’ve listed stands out, i would encourage you to check the author’s page and see what else they have. have fun!!!

#tam.ask #blaseball #blaseball fic rec #fic recs #sierne #I hope at least some of these are what you were looking for! there’s a lot of variety lol

[jacquelinemerritt]

Queer Media Review: But I’m A Cheerleader (1999)

Originally posted September 16th, 2016

A tonally mismatched, endearing cult classic.

This review is part of a weekly series of pieces on queer and trans media. See them all here!

Jamie Babbit’s1 first feature film, But I’m A Cheerleader, has, in the years following its release, become something of a classic piece of queer representative media. It frequently tops recommendation lists of films about queer people that don’t end in tragedy (lists that are far shorter than they have any right to be), and it is a film I have heard described as “quintessentially lesbian.”

This film’s status as an iconic lesbian film baffles me. Cheerleader is not a bad film, per se, but it is, in almost every way possible, a sleazy teen comedy that attempts to mine humor out of an incredibly traumatic and horrifying scenario (namely, being sent off to a gay conversion camp). That designation isn’t inherently negative; the same can be said of the original American Pie and John Tucker Must Die, and both of those films are entertaining because they revel in just how sleazy they can be. If But I’m A Cheerleader had committed to reveling in the sleaziness of turning the trauma of conversion therapy in a light comedy, then it might have succeeded on those (less than savory terms.

But Cheerleader is caught in between two worlds. At its core, it’s a film that wants to be a down to earth romance about good people finding love in a dark situation, but that core is constantly at odds with the low-brow humor and unintelligent satire that fills nearly every scene. It never attempts to examine the absurdity inherent to its scenario, and the only clear statement it makes about conversion therapy is that it’s ineffective, which is as obvious a statement on the matter as a film could make. The film also has a wildly inconsistent visual language2, frequently switching between bland stationary shots and handheld tracking shots for no apparent reason, only to return to its bland cinematography a moment later.

And yet, despite all of those flaws, I still rather enjoyed watching Cheerleader. Even with all the poorly designed sleaze surrounding it, the emotional core of Cheerleader is damn compelling, presenting us with a slowly budding romance between two highly likable characters.

That solid emotional core is established early-on through Megan (Natasha Lyonne, of Orange is the New Black fame), a very sympathetic protagonist who is confused about her own sexuality. She frequently fantasizes about her fellow cheerleaders while making out with her boyfriend, and she has a picture of a bikini clad woman in her locker, contrasted with her friend whose locker is adorned with a male model. When she’s ambushed by her friends and parents (in one of the few good uses of visual storytelling, I might add), she’s completely blindsided by them, and she quickly submits to their demands that she attend conversion therapy, despite her beliefs that none of the “evidence” presented was abnormal or confirmed her supposed “homosexuality.”

Megan’s cluelessness and empathy make her romance with Graham (Clea DuVall), another attendee at the conversion therapy camp, all the more believable, as their coupling is treated as a subtle slow, burn. We see them holding hands and touching each other, carefully avoiding the watchful gaze of Mary Brown (Cathy Moriarty), the camp’s strict headmistress. There’s a clear understanding of the danger of their budding relationship in the film, as when Graham deflects suspicion off of their rebellion by claiming to have a crush on Joel (Joel Michaely), a gay Jewish man also attending the camp, Megan is never shown to be jealous of the affection he’s receiving (she even takes a chance to stare flirtatiously at Graham while she’s holding hands with Joel).

The film also does challenge one idea, and that’s the idea that gender expression and fulfillment of gender roles are connected to or determinate of sexuality, though it does so with mixed results. Early on, there’s a scene where the characters must all think about and confess what the “root” of their homosexuality is, and one of the men at the camp claims that his mother allowing him to wear her pumps was the single experience in his life that led to his same-gender attraction. The film wants to paint this as the ridiculous connection that it is, but its strength is lost because so many of the film’s jokes rely on the association between gay men and femininity.3

The film is more successful in challenging stereotypes about sexuality and gender when the masculine presenting Jan (Katrina Phillips) storms out of a group therapy session, upset that her love of softball and unconventional looks have led to her attending the camp despite the fact that she has always been fully and exclusively attracted to men. Her rejection of the camp’s attempt to foist femininity onto her rings true thanks to Phillips’ compelling performance and the film’s lack of insistence that masculinity in women is in any way indicative of same-gender attraction (an acknowledgement that is present in the film’s title).

The ending of the film, despite being rather annoyingly cutesy, is fairly compelling as well, setting up a scenario in which one of the members of the lead couple is about to “graduate” from the camp, and the other must fulfill a wish the graduating partner made in order to convince her to run away with her. It’s an incredibly sweet gesture, and their relationship is given a satisfying conclusion, capping off the film with passionate kisses and annoyingly chipper music. That this scene works despite its presentation is a testament to Babbit’s strength as a director (of actors) and Natasha Lyonne’s strength as an actress, as the two of them sell the emotion of the scene that would otherwise be drowned out by a bad pop musical score.

Such a tonally conflicted, endearing scene is arguably the perfect ending to this film.

Rating: 3.5/5

But I’m A Cheerleader can be rented and purchased on iTunes or streamed via Xfinity.

Critical Eye Criticism is the work of Jacqueline Merritt, a trans woman, filmmaker, and critic. You can support her continued film criticism addiction on Patreon.

1While Babbit hasn’t directed many features of significant acclaim since But I’m A Cheerleader, she has gone on to become a rather prolific TV comedy director, specializing in smaller, character-driven comedies such as Gilmore Girls (for which she directed eighteen episodes), Malcolm in the Middle, and more recently working on hit comedies like Brooklyn Nine-Nine and Silicon Valley (she even directed one of the best episodes of Supergirl’s first season!) All of this to say, she’s got a rather impressive body of work behind her, and it would not be surprising if her name were to show up on a highly successful feature comedy sometime in the near future.

2Bonus points if you caught the reference.

3These jokes are made in spite of the film’s inclusion of Dolph (Dante Basco), a varsity wrestler whose masculinity is never in question, and Larry (Richard Moll), an “ex-ex-gay” who looks like a lumberjack right down to the flannel.

#but i'm a cheerleader #jamie babbit #natasha lyonne #clea duvall #lesbian film #lgbt film #queer film #queer cinema #queer movies #queer media #queer media reviews #this review is pretty solid #only thing i have to say is that i was totally right that jamie babbit was capable of better #she directed three episodes of russian doll #and did an incredible job with them #so suspect many of the issues in this film are just a result of being an inexperienced artist #and she learned her craft plenty well later

[oaxleaf]

mag 196 - this old house

i love annabelle in concept, but jesus christ would i get murderous if i had to actually interact with her. i think the main obstacle in me ever getting in contact with the web would be how absolutely unable i am to deal with any sort of mysterious bullshit. although, i am kinda curious how much of that is the web's influence. we don't ever get a true and proper backstory for her, do we? as a character, the mystery she shrouds herself in is super fascinating, because like with the web itself we are left unsure of how much she really knows, how much power she actually has, why she does the things she does

here's the thing: the web doesn't actually control shit. it's just very good at taking advantage of coincidences and small details and then making small pushes to get the wanted outcome. but it's still a push, rather than actually controlling it. and even how concious the web is as a power or an entity is in question. i think some pretty similar things could be said of annabelle - she's obviously smart and perceptive and able to predict outcomes with great accuracy, but not precisely. he plans can shift and, to some degree, fail

that's what kinda happens to her fill-martin-with-spiders idea. the circumstances change, and now the outcome isn't the same, and she shifts to accomodate that. i think it's also really interesting that the thing that foils this plan is jon and martin's relationship. whilst tma definitely does not push a love-saves-all type of narrative, i really like how clear it's made that it is a very powerful and very genuine power source. i feel like a lot of horror or scifi (as well as almost any badly written tragedy) has this tendency to dismiss and diminish love, as if love and passion and desire are not the core driving forces in any human being. it just has a very interesting place in tma's narrative

i'll admit that i don't 100% understand that crack in reality stuff, but i understadn it enough to get its larger implications and i do very much enjoy it. i like how it seems simontaneously independent and connected with the fears, and to be honest, the way it's spoken about as having been an inherent part of the universe, as eternal as the fears themselves seem to be, does have me half-convinced that the entities does not originate from this dimension. still, i find the mere idea of something far more inherent and eternal and unknown than what could be comprehended deeply fascinating

#tma #a mag a day #mag 196 #annabelle cane #the web