#and i havent been able to put it down

[allylikethecat]

hii i was just wondering when you were going to update make way for ducklings

Hello! I am hoping to have a new chapter up either tonight or tomorrow! It is currently in the works and going through a few minor (that knowing me could become major) rewrites! Poor Fictional!Matty just really seems to make things difficult for himself (and me apparently!) Thank you so much for reading and I hope you enjoy the new chapter once it's up!

❤️Ally

#allylikethecat #ask ally #anon ask #fanfiction #matty healy rpf #matty healy fanfiction #the 1975 rpf #make way for ducklings #mpreg #matty healy mpreg #I wanted to have the chapter done yesterday #but then i started a new book we just got in at work #and i havent been able to put it down #I keep gasping and going OH MY GOD #im almost done with it though and will then be able to fully return to our scheduled programing #and i have to be up at 4 tomorrow to ride before it gets hot so i have no crazy plans despite it being a saturday night haha

[03junkie]

@korakos what crack have you put in this book

#the sunshine court #ITS SO HOOD #I HAVENT BEEN ABLE TO PUT IT DOWN #I LOVE JERE #all for the game #aftg #nora sakavic #jean moreau #jeremy knox #jerejean

[donnyclaws]

I was gonan make a post apologizing for lack of regular art but I feel like jts already clear im sporadic and in and out of it bc chronic pain and circumstances. So for now I'm gonna hibernate, get my health steady again, deal with money issues, and art will happen when it happens.

#i do feel kind of worn down by it. i wish patreon and commissions didn't feel so taxing even with accommodations ive made for myself #maybe it'll feel better in the future when less is going on but rn it #places this barrier of management in front of art that makes it less relieving to do #cause there's always a part of my brain reminding me it needs to serve a purpose and needs to pay off in some way #which isn’t a new feeling for artists obviously. maybe doing it all since hs js also why it's tiring. and patreon changjng the way it does #working part time now too. idk if maybe id like to step back from it #it's abnormal that i worked taht hard and it did help me get out from my parents and stay out. but im also tired ect #idw let people down by not being able to keep up with a self imposed expectation or #be irresponsible and remove sources of income for myself. redbubble inprnt and patreon all suck in ways that bother me hugely #i only really enjoy itch.io at the minute #not to say anything bad abt patrons or commission clients you've all been excessively kind and patient and understanding always #i wish i could make them better i feel like there's no way how it is at the minute is of value compared to my output as an older teen #but yknow. self imposed worry. im just worn out and id like to just make things without the management and the fretting and the #i havent made a comic post for patreon in ages or this or this i havent made a speedpaint or a song or #yadda yadda lmao #sorry for the impromptu ramble #this isnt to say id never do commissions or a store or anything again or i want to not make money off art #god knows i will need to be grinding out comms once im well again but ex #i feel like im getting less and less able to manage it and then putting out less and less #and hoping ill somehow get very healthy and active again one day and make it worth the wait yknow. #it's not a feeling i want my art to carry in me. #part of me and the parent in my brain is saying it'd be selfish to give up income but the rest is like #that's cruel. i want to feel good and healthy

[apawture]

I got my queue refilled (sort of. Two pages instead of none) so I doodled this as a lil treat for myself

#apawture art #cult of the lamb #i started playing a few days ago and havent been able to put it down #to the point its affecting my sleep #its a lot of fun! but oogh

[ducktollers]

i will NOT play hades game tomorrow i will not. im posting it here for accountability bc every night i think No hades tomorrow and then i wake up and do nothing all day but play hades and its been weeks its bad i either rot or play hades THIS MUST END. NO GAME TOMORFOW

#last time i got like this it was bc of pokemon arceus and acnh #but those were EASY to quit bc i was able to finish every part of pokemon and have nothing left to do #and i had a goal in acnh (blue roses) and was able to grind thru it and finish it and then just PUT IT DOWN #BJT HADES IS SO BIG AND ENDLESS #i cannot play it till theres nothing left to do ill literally be playing it all year cuz im not even good at video games #except idk bc now im good enough that i only die when i kill myself on purpose to advance the story #THERES JUST TOO MUCH TO DO I HAVE TO STOP RIGHT NOWWWWW #the only storyline i havent finished is achilles tho and im like. im so close. just finish that and we’re done #but it has been weeks i WILL find another thing #x

[l-cereta]

oh my god u know the hrt is working when u get genuinely white girl drunk

#ive never been this drunk before this is crazy. the gender euphoria of not having any tolerance despite being able to drink 4 drinks a year #ago #like its that or someone Did something to this drink but it was from a housemate's stash. oh my god i wanted more of this im so glad im in #bed rn i could have made so many bad decisions #im like this close to posting one of the thirst(?) pics i took on my sideblog that i havent touched in a month #oh my god im fucking up so many words . gang im not pretending here i drank like 2 shots tops and its Fucking me somehow #WAIT I CAN EDIT TAGS #typos fixed :sunglasses: #genuinely crazy how much im feeling it tho ive literally Never felt it this much. id ask if ibuprofen or spiro interact w alcohol but i #think there was a decent amount of time between when i took both #yeah like i took spiro ~10:57 and then uh drank after. 11 hm ok this isnt as spaced out as i expected #i dont think im going to alcohol jail tho. im being responsible im In Bed im not gonna go do anything stupid (altho i do. want to ask #someone downstairs to do something stupid. but maybe thats the alcohol talking) #also shileas is downstairs and shes a bitch and i dont want to be cringy in front of her #i dont know if shes trans or just a really masc lesbian btw . shes cool but she also has some bad takes sometimes and i dont think she #likes me #im writng so many tags <3 but thats what love is. if anyones read this far idk like the post or something #you know the one post where the person puts an egg in their mouth. and then people share the tags. this is that #i was gonna be typing this out on a discord server but i thought no. this deserves to have everyone see it #man also if i went down and asked like if anyone wants to fuck like who would say yes . shileas is a super senior maeve is in a relationshi #p #i dont like riley and . man idk about griffin. but i think im a lesbian. maybe im just desperate. #bUT IM NOT GONNA. im not gonna. #i dont want to sleep tho i want to have fun :(( but my roommate is asleep #& its not like anyones gonna fuck me on this bed . with like my lovies (thats what i call my stuffed animals) and shit . #i genuinely didnt expect that i could get this drunk and whats crazy is i know i could be more drunk #can u imagine if someone reads this and goes 'well shes clearly sober and faking it' no </3 im simply very eloquent i was neglected as #a child so i read alot lol #whoops *a lot not alot #wasnt there a limit of like 26 tags. when do i hit that

[weenhands]

.

#vent #i havent really been able to sob in awhile and i think tonight was just another breaking point #im so emotionally numb and devoid of emotions so i end up really sobbing every few weeks #when normally i would be crying almost everyday if i could properly respond to the hell i feel like im experiencing all the time #idk. i sort of spiralled and i ended up thinking about what it would be like to just cry in my moms embrace #and maybe not even actually say word for word how i feel #im trying to just cry quietly so my parents dont hear but in my head my mom knows why and she understands and shes holding me and telling me #its going to be okay.....i dont trust her with anything but i just wish i had her reassurance specifically. #ive been off these past few years to them because of how bad my anxiety and depression have been #and i think i find comfort in giving my parents that closure of whats really going on....while also having them hold and protect me #like they used too #i switch my stuffed animals to hold depending on my current situation and mom gave me this stuffed animal to hold when i just Want her #she gave it to me randomly and i havent felt so bad where i had to reach for him in probably years #so im just holding him now. i dont wanna put my other one that i was holding before in the box of my other stuffies #cause im not used to seeing him there yet idk hes used to the bed #im probably gonna delete this soon cause just writing all of this down sorta calmed me down #im just really sick of my head and i feel like im thinking really bad thoughts again

[wjsns]

and u know what im ready to make my full statement on MENG MEI QI too. the situation is so crazy to me, basically now in 2023 some ujung wont even type out her name because 1. cheating scandal (WHERE SHE WAS THE 3RD PARTY, WASNT EVEN THE PERSON TO CHEAT ON SOMEONE) and 2. doesnt mention wjsn ever and to me that is literally HILARIOUS like, god its just soooo funny to watch everyone pile in with the loudest most popular opinion and not do personal critical thinking, or hey, maybe they did and what mmq did really WAS too much for them to still support her but in that case i raise an eyebrow because idk… a lottt of yall are the same people who will get online and write about loving evil women and letting girls be shitty etc etc and she literally gives you what you asked for on a silver PLATTER, like doing nothing cancellable just giving us a good wholesome woman being evil and selfish and obsessed w herself and everyone turns on her!!!! sorry shes not fucking chuu lmao!? (ilu chuu no hate but there is space for good AND evil girls in my heart😇) im sorry im SO unbothered by her being the other woman in a cheating scandal like i cant imagine something mattering less to me and it actually made me super happy to confirm she fucks even tho the guy was ugly😇 but i said kinda most of this already so SECOND OF ALL about her not mentioning wjsn and shit… another thing i literally have NO problem with?? again, like…… no one was more distraught than me at what happened to ot13 but these are REAL PEOOLEEEEEEEEEE?!????!??? i’ve said this before too but i think its worth mentioning, i think my perspective on WJSN has always been a certain way because i grew up playing soccer on a team of the same ~18 girls for over 8 years and im very familiar with, idk, “team dynamics” in groups of girls growing up together? so i understand what its like to be in a larger group dedicated towards this ultimate, performance based goal together and while not everyone out of those 18 girls is one-to-one best friends and lots of people have pretty significant differences, none of that matters “on the field” or when you’re “working”, and its actually lowkey beautiful hiw such different people can unite together to make their dream happen AND develop really long lasting strong relationships w each other when they would otherwise might not have. so ive never had illusions that wjsn as a group has this monolithic motivator or reason for being in wjsn or being an idol, they are all super different personalities and have different interest areas like acting, musicals, song production, MCing etc! so its really impossible for me to feel upset or bothered in any way when i hear complaints about mmq’s behavior in this area because im like ? she obviously has/had this solo career (that i have to believe she had way more control and stylistic direction over than with wjsn) in her home country where she gets to embrace her personal style and concepts instead of matching wjsns, shes clearly separating from that past image and going in a different direction w her career! it does make me bummed that shes not getting 13 stars tattooed like xiao did but again what am i gonna do, be mad that this artist who i really care abt as a person is going off on their own path and direction? cujung is a ROCK of this fanbase its not like a mmq wjsn mention is going to create millions more ujung and album sales? just never added up to me, IM not gonna feel some type of way about it because stan twit fucking tells me to, like how it feels a lot of ujungs react to everything! that one thing going around that was like “wjsn are coworkers not friends” was sooooo funny for me to watch ujung actually get mad about because like,,, they ARE coworkers? AND FRIENDS?! there are 13 of them? each person has a unique individual and complex relationship with each other person? ah idk why i even bother with these essays the avg kpop stans iq is literally 65 yall love being spoonfed parasocial relationships simulated for ur consumption so much u completely block out ​the fact they are real people

#and a lot of people who have the most to say about it like literally dont go outside and have lives and group activities to be a part of so #sorry if im being haterish but like they started it #getting mad at what mmq says and doesnt say about her old job and who she fucks is giving incel its giving i like to control women #giving the type of people who freak out and kts over their idol reading a feminist book or dating someone #sorry women are autonomous beings not morally perfect objects u can glorifyingly put on a pedestal and tear down just as maliciously when #something they did doesnt add up to this unrealistic un-human image u created of them #i honestly think some of u get more out of tearing at and hating someone than u did supporting them its like fun for u to sit behind a scree #and judge their lives meanwhile havent washed ur greasy ass hair in days and when was the last time u called ur grandmother? what the longes #lasting friendship you’ve ever been able to maintain? huh??? #damn i cant find out how to do a read more on mobile sorryyyyyyyyyy #long post #ANYWAYS *pulls out comfort photos of teen mmq smoking cigs*

[scattered-winter]

.

#officially we wont know how things will shake down until next week #but unofficially?? i think i already know. i cant explain how but. i think i know already which direction its gonna go #and its not like i havent been preparing for this for years but . man. #i genuinely dont know how im gonna do this guys. im being so fr. #im just starting to get my feet back under me from losing my friend like that and now im gonna get bowled over again #and its gonna be so much worse. and i dont know how im gonna get a job or fix my fucked gpa or even finish out the semester #im going home in a few weeks and my siblings and i are gonna put pink in our hair for october #and ofc by the time we do that we'll know. one way or another. and thatll be that. #nothing i can do about it. nothing i can do to stop it or make it better. #my brothers are still so fucking young man. my youngest brother doesnt even remember a time when it wasnt like this. #he's only ever known this version of her thats sick and exhausted and hollowed out like she isnt even there most of the time #and man. idk. #really i am so close to snapping and dropping out of school and this might just be what finally breaks the thread. i am being so fr. #winter speaks #personal #and theres so many projects that i want to do but i Know that i wont be able to do any of them for a while once it hits #and just. hhh. hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

[a-lonely-tatertot]

I am completely normal about totk. I promise. Come closer-

#i got the game like. last week. uh yeah i havent been able to put it down #totk #tater rambles

[tboyblogger]

sorry for this bedriddencore loser rotboy post but 😔😔😔

#havent been able to take a shower or clean my room bc im so mentally unwell #and it sucks so bad im laying on a pile of crap rn #and well i know to other ppl it doesnt look 'that messy' but deep down i know it doesnt matter the thing is i havent been able to #pick even just one thing up and put it away so the only choice is to scoop them aside to sleep and its so gross to me now #i got my hair all over the bed too and my desk is collecting dust i have clothes on the fucking table. etc #god. i havent even cut my nails. i kept saying i'll do it tmr but days keep passing #oh well #i'll do it tomorrow #tp talking

[britneyshakespeare]

why does scheduling my work days give me so much stress and anxiety

#i was supposed to do my first day at the high school today but i had literally so much anxiety i could not fall asleep last night no matter #what. i had so much dread. i took so much melatonin lol. #i could shut my brain off till i went into the application and deleted my schedule for the day #ive just been feeling so fatigued and exhausted since i got covid it's crazy. sometimes i'll have bursts of energy where im productive #but yesterday i was just so tired from loading the washing machine. just. fucking sorting clothes and putting them in #that i had to lie down on the floor for a few minutes in the middle of it #not my finest moment #tales from diana #i didn't have anything scheduled for tomorrow and i thought 'maybe if i feel better tonight ill call in' #but i dont feel. super better tonight. and the only thing that i could do tomorrow at my preferred school is kindergarten subbing #for like the main classroom teacher. which i havent done before so i figured 'yeah im not gonna get my anxiety up 2 days in a row' #i deserve to sleep tonight after all and i think if i committed to that i wouldnt be able to #but i am going into my elementary school on wed-thur-friday of this week. wednesday is only a half day but they'll probably find smth for me #to do in the afternoon. they usually do. and im fine w that. #idk im just much more comfortable in my elementary school. i guess bc ive worked there before and i went to school there #as a wittle student waaaay back in the day. like i know the building and it doesn't scare me and i know a good amount of kids there #and the staff don't intimidate me. so yeah. #i did schedule my first job at the high school FOR REAL THIS TIME and it's next friday. hopefully ill be doing better by then. #im working the thursday before it at the elementary so i'll be in the rhythm of that. idk how to explain it but it's harder to go back #to work when ive taken a day off. like that's also why im not going in tomorrow. #friday (4/07) was the first day i worked since i got covid and that was fine but also. i was so anxious just to go in. #and so so so so tired when i got home. and all weekend. #yeah i wasn't ready to start working at the high school today. that was nonsense. #hopefully all will go well on wednesday thursday and friday of this week. im trying to restore my energy and fix my sleep. thatll do wonders #i hope. i hope i hope i hope

[bogmachine]

erm hehe whah huh

#z #i cant even say i want to lie down and never get up because i honestly could lol!!!! lol!!!!!!!!! #i literally havent been able to sleep i keep thinking im so exhausted but it just turns into like brain haze instead of sleep #i pulled an all nighter sunday night and slept for >3 hours monday morning probably >10 since waking up sunday at 4 pm #i can barely eat anything it takes so much effort #im so exhausted i just want it to stop but 1. if i let my finals fall by the wayside itll fuck up my mental health worse 2. if i just stop #putting in effort i wont eat either and ill quite literally starve to death

[eepybogboy]

guess what girlies (gender neutral) I finally started reading Gideon the Ninth wish me fucking luck

#im actually on page 150 but i didnt post about it when i got it just in case it didnt click for me #but great news i havent been able to put it down #I'm at 'surprise my tenebrous overlord! ghosts and you might die is my middle name" #good shit #gideon is SUCH an unreliable narrator and i love it #shes so fucking dumb sometimes. #no idea why anyone would need a sink that big! #i assume harrows book is in her perspective? i cant wait to get a reasonable passing description of a bathtub from someone whos seen one #tlt #gtn #📝

[husbandhannie]

i often thinking of writing deep metaphorical stuff that isn't just soft domestic fluff but like.....idk i dont think im built for that

#the day-to-day of living with my mind is exhausting in a way that i crave just....simplicity #no need to analyze anything and no need to dig 7 layers into this #just getting coffee in the morning with someone you love and putting dinner together at the end of long days #thats it. thats all i write #just different versions of it #and i see other people write truly mesmerizing things and while i woudl like to be able to do that.....idk its just not me #i crave warmth and all my drabbles end up being just versions of domestic fluff #which is. fine. but still. #livvie rambles #anyway been busy school and life recently so havent been active #ill write something once things calm down

[listen-to-the-inner-walrus]

i would prefer it if my dog didnt try and come help me when im throwing up like jay, this is lovely support and all but i dont want to near this, trust me, you dont either

#kai rambles #personal #delete later #tw vomit #this is mostly a vent post because i hate throwing up #like im consistently ill but vomiting is not a common symptom for me #and thank god for that because this is the actual worst #i also havent been able to take any of my 19 daily medications for two days because the only thing ive kept down is small pots of jelly/o #like i very much need to take these medications #this is my not going blind medication #the one good thing about not being able to keep things down is that i can very clearly tell because if you put food next to me #i can smell the ah ill throw up if i eat this #so at least it doesnt come back up #so its mostly liquid and something that i hope isnt blood but i dont know why theres something red in there #im having a great day can you tell #tbf i slept for like six hours early after like a 13 hour sleep #also like nhs 111 stop asking me if my chest feels cold #i cant reliably answer this i have nerve damage and cant detect cold #do it feel cold? i dont fucking know