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andrewmoocow · 3 years

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Steven Universe Alternate Future chapter 22: Pumpkin Patch (originally published on August 9, 2021)

AN: At long last, the homestretch of Part 3, which I have already dubbed the Tearjerking Three last time. And for our first entry into this trilogy, we finally get an update on the relationship between Peridot and Lapis, which I found to be done so dirty in Future as a Lapidot shipper. I mean, they didn't even interact with each other even when they were in the same episode together! Plus, Pumpkin just disappeared into thin air once the movie came along, leaving the only hint of where she is now are those similar gourd puppies from The Future. But enough griping, let's get my personal answer on what really happened, and maybe a big surprise that I no doubt have already spoiled on DeviantArt anyways.

Synopsis: Steven, Peridot and Lapis reminisce on the anniversary of Pumpkin's death.

Cast:

Zach Callison as Steven, Pumpkin

Shelby Rabara as Peridot, Squaridot

Jennifer Paz as Lapis, Laz, Zuli

Estelle as Garnet

Michaela Dietz as Amethyst, Ocean Jasper

Deedee Magno-Hall as Pearl

Uzo Aduba as Bismuth

Amy Sedaris as Teal Zircon

Jeff Bergman as Farmer

Featuring Billie Eilish as Turquoise

"Maybe I'll find myself smiling on that distant shore," Steven sang to himself while gazing at his watch as the oven timer counted down in front of him. "Maybe I'm not alone."

The timer beeped, notifying Steven that whatever he had in the oven was ready. After putting on some oven mitts and opening the oven, Steven pulled a pumpkin pie out and set it on the counter to cool. "This one is for you two, guys." He said before gazing at a nearby calendar that read June 7th. "I remember it like it was yesterday." Steven then began to reminisce on the aftermath of his visit to Homeworld.

A few weeks the Crystal Gems have successfully convinced the Diamonds to help them in healing the corrupted Gems on Earth, these Gems now needed somewhere to live. As far as Steven knew, there was no way they could expand the Temple to make room for all of them, and he's sure none of the newly healed Gems wanted to return to Homeworld, so the Crystal Gems decided that their only choice now was to build them their own little town. They had some basic ideas down, but all they needed now was a name.

"How about Peritropolis?!" Peridot suggested as she wrote down her choice of name on the whiteboard, with little sketches of her face surrounding the name for emphasis. "Pretty cool, huh?"

"How about something that won't stroke your ego?" Steven frowned at the idea.

"What about Barnstantinople?" Lapis proposed. "We are building it around where the barn used to be after all."

"Speaking of which, how's clean-up on that going?" Amethyst asked, looking out the window to gaze at the wreckage that was once Lapis and Peridot's barn house home. "I think some bits of it might be useful somehow."

"I say we put that on hold." Lapis stated. "That old barn caused just as much harm to Peridot and me as much as it did good."

"You serious about this?" Peridot asked her blue roommate. "I mean, we had so many good memories in there."

"Yeah, and a lot of those memories were you just bending over backwards trying to keep me happy." Lapis added. "I know you're still sad about me jumping ship and coming back with only a "Hey", but I still got things to work out, y'know."

"OK." Peridot said just as their pet Pumpkin opened the door. "Oh, hey Pumpkin!"

In contrast to Peridot being excited to see Pumpkin, the little canine fruit let out an exhausted bark before sitting down to nap, revealing wrinkles around her eyeholes.

"Hey, is your little buddy there doin' alright?" Bismuth asked. "I barely know a thing about the lifespan of organic creatures, but even I know she ain't doing so hot."

"Oh, I'm sure she's just tired!" Peridot assured Bismuth. "Just needs to rest, that's all!"

"Don't be so sure Peridot." Garnet advised the little Gem. "Pumpkin was brought to life with magic, which means she's probably lived longer than a pumpkin normally does."

"Just let her be happy Garnet." Pearl whispered into Garnet's ear. "She's already been through so much recently, and I don't think she can take anymore."

"You sure she's OK Dottie?" Steven asked Peridot regarding Pumpkin. "Nothing lasts forever, you know."

"Oh, she just needs some extra time in the Sun!" Peridot laughed. But despite her insistence, that wasn't how the story really went.

"Okay, a little to the left!" Peridot commanded Squaridot as the eye Gem Peridot levitated a lifeguard chair around while Bismuth, Ocean Jasper & Teal Zircon dug up the ground to build a swimming pool. "No, your other left!" she corrected herself. "Wait wait, your other OTHER left!"

"There's no such thing as an other other left!" Squaridot yelled and grumpily set the chair down next to where she was standing. "How's this?"

"Perfect." Peridot gave her fellow technician a thumbs up before turning around to see the Lapis twins walk towards the construction site. "Oh, I see our lifeguards wanna start early!"

"Why was it necessary for us to dress in these?" Laz wondered while modeling the red one-piece she was wearing. "I don't think red is my color."

"I don't know about you Laz, but I make this look good!" Zuli declared while flaunting her body in a matching outfit. "We look just like the hotties on Coast Patrol or Destiny from CPH season 3! By the way, where's Lapis? She's head lifeguard, so shouldn't she be out here with us?"

"She still has the suit, but she's not coming out because today is a special day." Peridot stated. "It's the anniversary of a certain something."

"Hey, I think I can see Steven's car!" Ocean Jasper cried out as she peeked out of the hole to find Steven disembarking from his Dondai Supremo and walking over with the pumpkin pie in hand. "And he's got a pie, maybe as thanks for our hard work."

"Naw, I don't think it's for us Ocean." Bismuth said just as Steven walked over to Peridot. "I think we should leave them alone for a bit and get back to work."

"Aw, but I wanted a pie!" Teal Zircon complained.

"I see you got the pie." Peridot said to Steven while gazing at the pie in his hands. "In case you're wondering, we worked on a new meep morp last night dedicated to her."

"Okay, why don't you show me?" Steven offered.

"I'd be happy to." Peridot smiled before turning back to everyone at the in-progress pool. "Keep up the good work everyone, I'll just be taking the rest off!"

"Yeah, take some time for yourself, Peri." Bismuth replied while Squaridot used her burgeoning ferrokinesis to lift the blacksmith out of the pool. "Just don't get too teary-eyed and fill up the pool early."

"Yeah, we're planning on filling the pool for our opening ceremony!" Teal called while struggling to get out.

"And I'm just gonna catch some rays." Laz declared as she sat down on a lawn chair, pulled some sunglasses over her eyes, and began sunbathing. However, her moment of peace was cut off by Zuli loudly blowing into her whistle and laughing.

"So, who's the pie really for Bis?" Ocean Jasper asked as she climbed out the pool before helping Teal and the two sat down next to Bismuth.

"You two got a moment?" Bismuth asked, and the Jasper and Zircon nodded in affirmation. "Well, the pie is actually for a friend of theirs."

Steven and Peridot kept walking away from the pool and eventually found themselves in front of the Little Homeworld house that Lapis & Peridot shared. It looked like a smaller version of the barn the two Gems once lived in, but instead of being decorated with a mishmash of items around the barnyard, it now looked like Peridot did most of the construction with bits of metal and advanced technology sprinkled onto a simple-looking two-story cabin.

"Hey Lapis, we're here." Steven called out to Lapis as he and Peridot entered the cabin to find Lapis napping on the couch with a manga on her lap and a red one-piece hanging on a clothes hanger nearby. "Lapis, wake up."

"Agh, don't go with her Pierre!" Lapis yelled as she woke up from her nap and rubbed her eyes to find Peridot & Steven before her. "Sorry you guys, I was trying on my lifeguard uniform, but then I got bored and decided to relax a little."

"You still remember what day it is?" Peridot asked while Steven presented his pumpkin pie.

"Yeah, I still do." Lapis declared sadly. "Want to see the meep morp we've been working on, Steven?"

"Sure." Steven replied before the two Gems took him upstairs to their shared bedroom & workshop, where a very large sculpture of Pumpkin stood, a big smile permanently etched onto the front beneath a pair of innocent eyes. "Almost like the real thing. Except bigger."

"Showing this to you makes me miss her even more." Peridot began to hold back tears. "I still remember how I coped with it too."

The groundbreaking ceremony of what would soon become Little Homeworld went quite swimmingly for the Crystal Gems, thanks to the support of their Beach City friends and the Diamonds. But amidst the rejoicing of a new beginning for Gems on Earth, there was some bad news that flew right under everyone's noses.

After Peridot marked the giant pit where the barn once was with Little Homeworld's flag, Pumpkin came strolling up to her green owner looking far wearier and more decayed than she did previously, a sight which worried them greatly. As soon as the ceremonies ended, Pumpkin was rushed back to the beach house.

"Please Steven, you gotta do something!" Peridot begged Steven while Pumpkin laid before the trio with a heavy sigh emitting from her mouth. "Pumpkin doesn't have much time left, surely you must have the solution like you always do!"

"I'm really sorry Peridot." Steven said regretfully. "As much as I would love to help you and Lapis out, Pumpkin wasn't long for this Earth anyways. Death is a perfectly natural part of life. It can be real sad and scary to watch someone you treasured so dearly go, but ultimately, their time will come all the same."

"So, she was going to die regardless?" Lapis said apprehensively while stroking the living gourd's rotting body. "I don't really see how this is possible since you did bring her to life with your powers, but I can deal with it."

"Well, I'm not!" Peridot objected tearfully. "It's not fair! I've already been through so much, why does the universe have to keep nailing the hammer into the coffin?!"

"Peridot, I know you're upset, but you gotta listen." Steven tried comforting his little green pal. "Death is completely natural, even if it's scary. I mean, my dad might die someday, and so might Connie. I'm not sure if I can die like a human though."

"Well, your race is different." Peridot declared. "None of you will ever know what it's like to live forever!" With that, she stormed out of the beach house to vent, leaving her two friends to worry for Peridot.

"I don't think I want to know where this is going." Lapis muttered.

"If it's anything like what happened to Peridot after you left Earth, I don't think she'll take it very well." Steven agreed.

Using a trashcan lid, Peridot flew far away from the general area of Beach City and into the countryside, where farmlands were very prosperous. Farmlands like the ones she and Lapis tended to together in the past, and the ones where Pumpkin was born. The very sight of all these fresh crops made her more miserable. What gave them the right to grow so healthy while Pumpkin looked so withered?

"Rackum frackum produce, I'll show you what for!" Peridot mumbled as she touched down in front of a pumpkin patch and swiftly got to work on destroying them. "You walked so Pumpkin could die!" she yelled as her green body became covered in orange pumpkin insides. "Why can't anything go my way for once?!"

"Hey, get offa my crops ya gremlin!" a farmer yelled at Peridot while stomping over to her with a pitchfork in hand. "You got any idea what it's like to work so hard on a great harvest, only for it to be ruined by a bunch of punks?!"

"No, but I'm sure you don't know what it's like to love someone only to lose them!" Peridot argued with the farmer, a retort that stunned him a little before he tried to look more sympathetic.

"Coping, eh?" the farmer said. "Look, you have every right to get mad, but that don't mean you can just stomp all over someone else's hard work! You gotta find better ways to vent, ya know!"

"Look, sir, I literally just ran away from home, I don't have time right now." Peridot coldly rejected the farmer's advice.

"Well, looks like you left me no choice." The farmer shook his head before reaching behind his back and pulling out a scary mask to frighten Peridot with. "BOOGEDY BOOGEDY BOOGEDY!"

"AAAAAHHHHHH!" Peridot screamed loudly before flying away from the farm on her lid.

As soon as Peridot returned to Beach City, she soared right towards Steven's house, where she found him making a grilled cheese sandwich, and began pounding on his window.

"Steven! Steven!" Peridot yelled from outside, getting the half-Gem's attention. "Let me in, I wanna talk!"

"You know you can just come in yourself." Steven suggested before opening the door for his green friend. "How have things been going?"

"I got an idea for you." Peridot stated. "How about in exchange for helping me with Pumpkin, I'll do something for you in return. Just name your price, I'll do anything!"

"Peridot, are you trying to bribe me into saving Pumpkin?" Steven asked. "Didn't I tell you earlier that death is a natural part of life?"

"But you managed to save Lars from death with your crying!" Peridot objected. "Why can't you do the same to Pumpkin?! Why does she have to die while so many other pumpkins have to live?!"

"Pumpkins?" Steven asked. "What other pumpkins?"

"I vented my frustrations by whaling on some farmer's pumpkin harvest." Peridot confessed innocently. "He didn't take too kindly to that."

"I think I know where this is going." Steven realized. "Five Stages of Grief, right? First was anger, now you're bargaining. Which means depression might not be too far behind." Just then, as if on cue, Steven's phone started ringing with a message from Lapis that he readily picked up. "Hello?"

"Steven, is Peridot there?" Lapis asked from the other end of the line. "Ever since she fled the house, I took Pumpkin back to our place, and now she wants to see us both before, you know."

"See what I mean?" Steven declared to Peridot, who was now on the verge of breaking down because now, she finally realized it was too late. "Do you want to see her?"

"Yes please." Peridot began to sob and hugged Steven tight. "Promise me that you won't ever leave too, Steven."

"I promise." Steven stated, hugging Peridot back.

Meanwhile, at the massive construction site that would soon become Little Homeworld, Lapis gently watched over the slowly dying Pumpkin, whose normally bright orange skin now had splotches of grayish-black, as she let out a weak yip. "Don't die yet, sweetie." Lapis assured Pumpkin. "Peridot will be here soon, I know it."

And right on cue, Peridot and Steven soared right towards Lapis on the trash can lid to see Pumpkin off one last time. Peridot raced as fast as she could towards the groundwork for her and Lapis's new home and tightly nuzzled her pet gourd, unaware that it wasn't in the mood for such a tight hug.

"Peridot, let her go! She's in pain!" Lapis yelled while prying the sentient pumpkin from Peridot's embrace, much to the green Gem's agony.

"No, please!" Peridot cried. "Just let me hold her!"

"I'm sorry Peri, but I don't think she can take much more!" Lapis argued while on the brink of crying just as much. "Pumpkin's already dying. She's so scared right now, so let's just-"

"Don't try to argue Lapis." Steven solemnly interrupted Lapis. "Peridot's already having a breakdown as is."

"I'm sorry about that." Lapis quickly apologized before she turned to Pumpkin. "Pumpkin, if you can still hear me, I want you to know that you and Peridot were the only things keeping me sane here, even when I ran off to the moon." She said to the dying fruit. "I can't thank you enough for brightening my day with your cute little smile, your barking, and all the days we spent playing together. Even if we find a replacement, none can ever replace you, little guy."

"You want a turn, Peri?" Steven said to Peridot.

"Fine, but I won't like it." Peridot sniffed loudly as she walked up to Pumpkin. "You were like an offspring to us, Pumpkin." She said quietly. "When I first saw your little carved face, those adorable stubby legs, it filled my heart with so much joy. Figuratively, of course, since we naturally don't have hearts. But every step we took together, every struggle, kept me grounded here on this crazy planet. Oh stars, now I won't know what to do now."

"Mah, mah," Pumpkin barked weakly with her last breath. "Mommy."

"I promise you," Peridot declared while her gem touched Pumpkin's forehead. "I'll never forget."

And with that, Pumpkin gently shut her eyes, allowing herself to pass on with her mothers and her creator by her side.

The funeral that followed was a private affair, with only the other Crystal Gems, Connie and Greg in attendance, and Pumpkin buried outside Peridot & Lapis's house. However, it was after the funeral when trouble began brewing. Just like when she had first begun living with the Gems, Peridot began hiding away in the bathroom for the next week to grieve the demise of Pumpkin and seemed resilient in refusing to come out, no matter how much they tried.

"C'mon P-Dot, open up!" Amethyst called while pounding on the door. "If you're planning on flushing yourself down the toilet again, let me tell you again, I tried that once and it didn't work."

"I think I know what to do." Greg proposed his idea and held up a boombox that began playing a song he knew she would recognize. "I look up to the sky, that's full of stars-"

"I'm trying to mourn here, leave me alone." Peridot despondently declared.

"I say we should respect her wishes." Garnet stated before she turned her gaze to Lapis. "Unless…."

"You think I should go in there?" Lapis asked.

"You are quite possibly Peridot's closest friend." Pearl agreed with Garnet.

"Closest friend?" Bismuth raised an eyebrow. "C'mon, we all know there may be something more than that!"

"Well, okay then." Lapis finally accepted with a shrug and slowly pushed the door open. "Wish me luck." She then said before entering the bathroom and closing it behind her. "You still in here?"

"So, they sent you in now." Peridot observed hoarsely. "I may have lost all hope, but I can still hear you know."

"They do say we're the closest." Lapis said before she sat down on the edge of the tub where Peridot had hidden herself away beneath a cocoon of Steven's bedsheets. "Come on now, get up and sit next to me."

"Okay, if it's you, I'll talk." Peridot succumbed to Lapis's offer and rose from her comfy shell to talk with her barn mate. "I'm sorry for worrying you all this past week, it's just that Pumpkin was basically our baby! Watching her die was like watching a child die!"

"Except the child wasn't human, it was a magical living pumpkin." Lapis remarked, which caused Peridot to glare at her. "No offense."

"But still, outside of our relationship, why did you volunteer?" Peridot wondered.

"Well, because I wanted to return the favor." Lapis answered. "Remember what happened after that boat trip I took with Steven and his dad?"

As soon as Lapis dropped Steven and Greg off at the docks following the boat trip gone wrong, she needed someone to lean on in her time of need. It didn't matter who, it could be any of the other Crystal Gems, or one of Steven's human friends. But right now, there was only one person, or rather Gem, that she could turn to.

Lapis could now see the barn in the distance, and as reluctant as she was to admit it, Peridot was the only one who could understand her regarding a certain Quartz. "Peridot, are you there?" she called for her green housemate. "I'm back!"

"Lapis, so glad you could make it!" Peridot exclaimed while racing out of the barn. "I discovered that I can move spoons with my mind, I made some decent progress on my Camp Pining Hearts essay; though I'm still stuck on the poutine theory, and-" However, she realized a bit too late what Lapis was feeling. "Is something the matter?"

"Steven and I found Jasper during the trip." Lapis said morosely. "She wanted to fuse with me again because she says I changed her. And to be honest, I think it was kind of my fault. Unfusing with Jasper drove her mad and I even said I missed taking all my frustrations out on her!"

"Lapis, are you serious?" Peridot gasped in alarm.

"Yes, I'm serious." Lapis declared as her eyes darkened and she turned away from Peridot. "Go ahead, run off and live with the Gems again so you don't have to be another one of my victims. If Jasper says I'm a monster, then I guess I really am one, especially after the way I treated you when we first moved in together."

"Okay Lapis, I don't want your garbage right now!" Peridot yelled, briefly breaking Lapis out of her funk with the almost exact words she described the tape recorder she broke. "I can see you're very stressed out. You want to scream so bad, to hit something, to let your anger out! But whatever you do, don't lose it on other people."

"Wh-what are you saying?" Lapis asked.

"I'm mostly just repeating stuff I read online," Peridot admitted. "I think what you need is a way to vent healthily, maybe on a perfectly defenseless object."

"Like what?" Lapis raised an eyebrow in suspicion.

"One second!" Peridot exclaimed while walking into the barn and coming back out with an alien plush wearing a top hat and bowtie that she gazed at with a solemn expression. "I'm so sorry my sweet." She said softly to the stuffed toy before presenting it to Lapis. "Go ahead, hit it as hard as you can. Or maybe something else violent, whatever."

"Okay." Lapis sighed as she began feeling around the toy for something to do before grabbing at the bowtie and ripping it off the alien's neck, causing some stuffing to spill out of the hole she created. "Whoa."

"So, how did that make you feel?" Peridot asked as the alien dropped from her grip.

"Good." Lapis muttered in awe of what she just did. "I feel so much lighter now, like a real adrenaline burst."

"See, as I told you." Peridot smiled happily. "You just needed healthier ways to relieve stress."

"You're right." Lapis agreed when she got an idea. "Now, how about I try something a little heavier?" She then glanced over to a nearby pickup truck and used the water from Peridot's makeshift pool to lift it into the air. "How about this?"

"Yeah, I think that could work." Peridot nervously replied before Lapis suddenly tossed the truck into the air. "NO WAIT, THAT'S A LITTLE TOO-" she screamed and covered herself to avoid getting hit, but the truck instead crashed into the wall over the barn entrance, creating a massive hole that the vehicle filled. "Hm, guess I was wrong."

"Well, if we're gonna be living here together, why don't we make ourselves at home?" Lapis laughed and put a hand on Peridot's shoulder.

"Yeah, I think this is a good start." Peridot agreed while wrapping her arm around the taller Gem's waist and the two began brainstorming ideas for remodeling the barn.

"Yeah, I really was there for you back then." Peridot realized with a grin. "And from then on out, we were so close."

"You bet." Lapis replied and cupped Peridot's face in her hands. "Let me be a shoulder for you to cry on this time. I love you Peridot."

"I love you too Lapis." Peridot responded happily before the two began to kiss, and their gems started glowing as they began to fuse into a tall, slender Gem with turquoise hair, dark cyan hair in the shape of a maple leaf, Peridot's glasses, Lapis's top with a bright yellow star on it, a skirt with a bronze ribbon around her waist and dark teal sandals with bronze accents.

The new, accidental fusion of Peridot and Lapis looked around the bathroom and gazed down at her four hands. Feeling around her body, she felts the gems of her components on her forehead and back before coming to a shocking realization and let out a loud, confused scream. "AAAAAHHHHHHHH!"

"Is something wrong?!" Steven exclaimed as he barged into the bathroom to discover the fusion before him and started screaming as well, but this time in joy. "AAAAAAHHHHHHH!"

"AAAAAHHHHHHHH!" the new fusion continued screaming and covered her face in alarm at Steven as the two continued shrieking at each other.

"But was that fusion really an accident or maybe something more?" Peridot asked while she, Steven, and Lapis walked outside to her and Lapis's garden in their backyard.

"Maybe a mix of both?" Lapis answered with a shrug. "I mean, we did kiss each other after saying "I love you" to each other, but the fusion part came out of nowhere."

"Still, we were all so happy to see you two fuse at last." Steven said. "Words could not describe how long I've been waiting for that moment."

"I couldn't shapeshift, so I just assumed I couldn't fuse as well." Peridot observed before they happened upon a makeshift tombstone that read 'In memory of Pumpkin. A good girl to the end.' "You know, all this talk reminds me of a song I've been writing for the past few days. It may seem a little short and I pulled from other sources, but it's the best I got."

"Well, what are you waiting for?" Lapis suggested eagerly. "Sing for us."

"Yeah, we never heard you do a solo before either." Steven agreed with the ocean Gem.

"Okay, if you insist." Peridot declared before she cued a nearby Robonoid tending to the garden to start playing jazzy music, and she started to sing. "My sweet little pumpkin o' mine, a living gourd with a smile so fine. You made us smile with your bark, your stem's like emerald, and filled with seeds of gold. You were our most beloved work of art."

Almost as if Pumpkin was coming back to listen to Peridot's eulogy, many similar living produce like additional pumpkins, some gourds, and squashes, began coming out to watch. "You saw fields of corn, sandy beaches too. In summers so warm, it was just us and you." Peridot continued singing. "And I think to myself, what a wonderful pet."

Soon, Lapis began to join in on the song as well. "Though your time was short, like all things are." She joined Peridot in singing with her own solo. "We'll always think of you, when we look at your star."

"Our sweet little pumpkin of ours," the pair finished the song and embraced each other. "You were a wonderful pet."

With that, the two Gems fused into Turquoise, this time on purpose while surrounded by living Cucurbita, and smiled.

"Thank you for coming today, Steven." Turquoise said to Steven. "It really means a lot to us."

"Nothing to it girls." Steven smiled while rubbing his finger on his upper lip.

In Memory of Thea "Muriel Bagge" White

June 16, 1940 – July 30, 2021

"What courage you have."

So ends the first installment of the Tearjerking Three. In comparison to what will come next, I'm pretty sure this will be tears of happiness at these two dorky barnmates basically becoming an item at last and even fusing too (also, I totally took Turquoise's design from @artifiziell, she makes some amazing stuff, go check her out). But next time, we move on from someone being dead for real to someone being dead to Steven. Can you guess which one? Oh who am I kidding, if you watch me on DeviantArt, I basically spoiled everything after this.

#steven universe #steven universe future #fanfiction #steven universe alternate future #steven quartz universe #peridot #lapis lazuli #pumpkin #garnet #amethyst #pearl #bismuth #teal zircon

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ifeveristoday · 3 years

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I got out my DVDs for this rewatch (that’s not actually a big deal. I only have season 3 on DVD. 😂) so let’s get to it.

I forgot they did a cold open for this episode!

I know it’s for ambiance but man does Angel have a lot of candles displayed. Probably too ‘mainstream’ for his taste but the thought of Angel furtively going to a Bath and Bodyworks in the mall during their semi-annual sale and just buying out their whole candle selection gives me the purest joy. Let’s be real though, Angel would shop at some boutique/hole in the wall owned by a wizened old character with a twinkle in their eye and everything marked up 20%. Or it would be a steel and glass monstrosity with a collection labeled Candles for Men. That’s the range.

Back to the enormous fire hazard that this scene is -

Wait. Does fire burn on stone?

Shout out to the stunt doubles.

I think that Angel getting food for Buffy for a sort of alfresco picnic while training is really sweet, actually. Also, can't miss the opportunity for both carbs and phallic symbolism ala bread.

Everyone is so embarrassingly horny in this moment. I'd say get a room except they're in a whole giant mansion.

Always remember the bread! What did Angel do with the food after Buffy fled? Fed the no-doubt cursed pigeons that live in Sunnydale.

Thanks for the workout (insert stereotypical dirty laugh).

Oh yes, the awkward 'let's talk about your birthday without mentioning the last birthday you had at all because it's horrifying' chitchat. God, the anxiety Angel is radiating here and Buffy trying to smooth it over. You can't unfrost that trauma cake!

Angel, you utter dork. You're lucky Buffy finds you pretty. Very powerful himbo energy here. And it's nice to see some light-hearted flirting/banter between them.

How do you know when someone's aura's dirty? Buffy is only asking the reasonable questions everyone has.

Do you hear yourself, Giles. "I'm aware of your distaste in studying vibratory stones..." I can't imagine what that section of the Slayer handbook looks like. Are there pull-out charts?

Faith being conveniently gone for this episode. Boo, hiss.

That workout really did a number on Buffy. I see what you're doing with those crystals.

One of the sad parts of rewatching Buffy is that you just don't have the first time discovery feels of watching it - that magic is gone, but even though I know why Buffy's wobbling in her fight, the reveal is still upsetting. Thinking about how in Season 5, when she does get staked, just as she's questioning her powers - and here, where she's losing them.

Also, obvious observation is obvious - the sexual violence imagery is really, really blatant here - with the vampire crouched over her with the stake aimed toward her heart, just as she playfully staked Angel earlier in a more romantically set scene.

AND THEN THE THEME KICKS IN. Like, damn! Three minutes and you can pretty much tell what the plot is going to be - Buffy and Angel's UST is getting out of hand, Buffy's lone Rangering it, and something is wrong with her. And it's her birthday.

And Buffy's resourcefulness saves the day.

Perhaps you shouldn't be throwing knives in the library, Buffy.

Did they do a geography lesson on Cuernavaca? It's also just fun to say. Like La Cienega. Brief moment to ponder yet again about a show set in Southern California, actually shot in Southern California, with the huge Latine population we have and the Spanish-influenced names and culture and - getting sidetracked by all this casual 90s racism.

"We do it every year for my birthday," except your seventeenth, presumably because of the murderous ex-boyfriend stalking the town you live in and all your loved ones. [Or, he did take her and it was not shown on screen!] Sometimes I wonder if the continuity editors just go, you know, I'm going to let this one go for the 'emotion' and not just so years later, a Virgo with a deep-seated need to obsess over throwaway details will go into a thought spiral to make it make sense.

I think this is also the last time Hank Summers was spoken of with any real affection because then he was Deadbeat Dad for the remainder of the show. Oh, look. The Scoobies are surprised about the traditional birthday ice show that I'm going to nitpick about forever.

Oz is so supportive, and then the clunker of a 'deep' line of ice being cool because it's water then it's not. I do like the Whedonesque school of dialogue, but sometimes you gotta reel it back. I remember the dialogue on Dawson's Creek was getting pinged for the teenagers talking like grad students.

Quiet reflection. Oh you poor girl, you have no idea.

Quarterly projections - is a convincing filler phrase for when you don't need to know what the job is, because it's boring but sounds vaguely official. What does Hank actually do? Who cares! He's an asshole.

Sunnydale Arms, because of course, Sunnydale has a broken down abandoned murder hotel.

Quentin Travers. Boo. Hiss.

The scary music is very scary. Also one of the Council flunkies looks like a very young Vincent D'Onofrio.

This scene with them in the library is so bittersweet because Buffy is fishing for Giles's attention as a father figure substitute ("very sophisticated people go!" breaks my heart) and he pointedly is rejecting this for training talk.

Look for the flaw at its center. THE FLAW IS YOU GILES. YOU YOU YOU.

it's just so terrible, this scene because of how methodical and clinical it plays out. And Buffy is just not there, and then Giles smiles like nothing has happened.

Buffy makes it through another night - next day (another reason why this trial is so horrifying is that it takes place over several days - it's not on Buffy's birthday but leading up to it, so the idea of her getting weaker and weaker and unable to fight to make it to 18 in the first place) and it's time for the Cordelia has had enough of toxic masculinity scene!

Also, Willow blithely ignoring a person's feelings and treating Amy as just a rat is played for laughs and cuteness, but yeah...you can't treat people like puppets or rats [law and order sound]

I love Cordelia's coat. And also, while it does suck that she stood him up, he's not entitled to her time or attention and certainly not to threaten her. Go, Cordy! Fight like a girl! Yes! Pummel him into the hallway.

I also love Willow's outfit here because I think the colors are so complementary and warm and it's a cute outfit. Okay, the knit wooly hat is a bit too Blossom-esque, but whatever.

Buffy is tiny, we all know this, but I do think they purposefully dressed her in larger than her size coats in this episode to make her look even more tiny and vulnerable.

Giles is TOO BLASE for this scene also shut your mouth about throwing knives like a girl

"It's an archaic exercise in cruelty." SO WHY DID YOU GO ALONG WITH IT, BRAIN TRUST. (I am going to be very mean to Giles this whole rewatch, deal with it.)

"But I'm the one in the thick of it." No, you're not. You are going to be adjacent to it, at best.

Hey it's that guy!

Okay, in better lighting, flunkie does not look like Vincent D'Onofrio.

It's impossible to pin down one type of Vampire in the Whedonverse, except for the delineation between Grunt Bait Vampires, and Special Guest Star/Master vampires, but Kralik is the only other example of a vampire with mental illness besides Drusilla, yet he's medicated. Makes me wonder how exactly they got Kralik...he was a monster before he was a vampire, but who vamped him? I don't put it past the Watchers to have vampires created for this purpose.

Curse against lawyers!

Xander and Oz bonding over comic books is so fun. I regret they didn't really get closer until after Xander and Willow cheated because Oz was the one male friend Xander had.

They mentioned her birthday! Thinking about Buffy's love of poetry later on, this is a nice little detail, and it *is* a thoughtful, sweet gift. Also those poems: horny. Oh yes, maybe in a restrained way, but Elizabeth Barrett Browning knew what was up.

The Buffy and Angel relationship in season three is full of these starts and stops that I can see why and agree with others about how it's frustrating on a number of levels. They know why they can't be together, but they still try to find a common ground because they want to need the other one. They still have their identities to figure out - Buffy as the slayer and a young adult, Angel as a person, separate from Buffy and being Buffy's ex sort of maybe.

But this conversation in Helpless is genuinely sweet and a glimpse at what a normal couple at the crossroads would talk about - I think I'm also being soft on this because the other Important Male Figure in Buffy's life in this episode lets her down so spectacularly bad, that Angel being supportive and kind in his awkward way is a nice respite. It's good to be away from the angst and the horror that their relationship has had.

And the self-aware puncturing of the Moment between them is something Buffy does very well. "Taken literally, incredibly gross - I was just thinking that too". Look, it's cute and soft and I will allow it.

The horror of this episode (and there are so many) is that we have to watch Buffy become the helpless blonde in a slasher flick who is being chased by the monsters and she can't do anything about it - that she has to be rescued or die. That the real world with men catcalling and bystanders who ignore women's cries of distress is far scarier than the literal demons that inhabit the town - and Buffy brokenly saying she can't just be a person, she can't be helpless like that [like women are, still, today] is a gut punch. It's uncomfortable and unhappy because Buffy is supposed to be the hero, the [sigh] strong female lead who can kick ass and take names, and this episode is all about finding who Buffy is, separate from her super powers. Also an exercise in emotional torture, but must be Tuesday.

The physicality - the weakness that both Buffy and Giles display in this scene is so, so good. The way Buffy's hand trembles toward the needle in the case and the dawning realization of what Giles has done, has chosen to do - and he bloodlessly tells her what the Cruciamentum is.

Her tiny little "Liar."

GOD WHY DIDN'T SHE GET AN EMMY (rhetorical we all know genre tv only matters if it was Game of Rapey Thrones)

"You will be safe now, I promise you." LIAR.

Another puncturing a heavy moment - Cordelia as cavalry - I love it. Cordelia taking the most obvious approach to the situation - 'oh Buffy might have lost her memory, well he's Giles,'

I can't believe they robbed us of a conversation in the car scene with Cordy and Buffy.

Kralik had to have found a polaroid camera and a metallic sharpie for this whole scenario -- OH I KNOW WHO HE REMINDS ME OF. The Night Stalker and any number of serial killers that terrorized SoCal. Is the show being self-aware of the problem with mothers and parents in general?

Probably a glib accident.

I don't have much to say about the part where Buffy hunts Kralik because it's so masterfully done with the atmosphere and music.

Nice of Giles's backbone to enter the chat now.

This is not business. Ooo.

Buffy's "I thought I killed a man" emo overalls!

Like it's shadowy, but there's still enough light to see facial expressions. Lighting guy, I salute you.

Little red riding hood metaphor. Oh, that's so her stunt double.

CREEPY SEXUAL VIOLENCE REARS ITS DEFORMED HEAD AGAIN

Jump stair scare. I remember the first time I saw it, I jolted in the living room.

Serial Killer Shit. Why are vampires such drama queens?

THAT'S RIGHT, BUFFY DID THAT

The ending scene in the library is cathartic in that Buffy gets to stand up for herself finally, and recognizes what Giles gives up by helping her, delayed as it was, also there's the feeling of hate punching Quentin Travers via your eyes.

Still don't think she should have forgiven Giles so easily, but we don't get to see a lot of aftercare for Buffy when she gets hurt, and it is a very tender scene.

The Scoobies are being way too upbeat if they knew about the fact that Giles poisoned Buffy, which is why I'm assuming she told a very abbreviated version of events ending with Buffy killed the bad guy and Giles got fired, oops.

Xander's big strong man comment and then looking immediately to Willow to open the jar and not Oz...

I could watch this episode again with episode commentary from David Fury, but another day.

#a bit later #but here it is #saff rewatches buffy

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hockeytrashgoblin · 4 years

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Ice Cold ~Part 1

A/N: Very exciting new series! I’m pumped! Hope you guys like it! If not please be gentle with me I’m not doing great rn lmao Just kidding constructive criticism is always welcome. Enjoy!

"Alright (y/n) one more thing." the lady interviewing me said while closing my portfolio. "Welcome to the team."

"Really?" I said incredulously.

"Yes. You do amazing work and we would love to have you on our photography media team."

"Thank you so much! When do I start?"

"Well we're going to do some paperwork today, introduce you to your partner and get you cleared to go photograph the Maple Leafs game Saturday."

"Alright that sounds great!"

The day passed by in an excited blur. I did all the paperwork necessary and all the confidentiality requirements that go along with working for Roger's sports and media. I met a lot of people but the most memorable were my partner Amy and a journalist named Peter. Amy seemed like someone I would have a lot of fun with and Peter was just cute and kinda funny. I made sure to get their numbers before I started my walk to the subway to get back home. I put on my favourite podcast, Cult Liter by Spencer Henry, and started walking. I don't know if it was the podcast or just being in the middle of downtown Toronto but it felt like I was being watched. I shook it off and went into the underground to get home.

Two days later I was walking into the Scotiabank arena to meet Amy outside. I was so nervous but it was so exciting. My love of sports and my passion for photography coming together so perfectly. I found Amy pretty quickly, her green hair making her easy to spot.

"Hey!"

"Hi! You ready to go in?"

"Yes! I'm so excited! I love hockey but I've never been able to afford to go to a game so this is actually super cool."

"Yeah I'm not really into sports but I love photography. I'm excited for you though, that's gonna be so fun for you!" She said elbowing my side. "Do you like either of the teams playing?"

"I'm not a fan of Toronto to be honest. I like a lot of players though. I really like Montreal though so this should be fun!"

"Yeah that'll be cool! So just so you know, we're going to have to go through a lot of security and pat downs. It sucks but it is what it is."

We really did have to do a lot of security stuff. I was kind of surprised but at the same time not really. We were going to be going through close to the players and seeing them after the game. I kind of followed Amy's lead through everything.

We got to our place where we would take pictures and started setting up our equipment. As soon as the guys came out onto the ice I was so excited. I started snapping pictures of all the guys. I was mostly supposed to take pictures of Toronto but hey I'm not letting an opportunity to photograph the literal perfect man Max Domi go. I was taking pictures of Fredrik Andersen when he skated into frame. He was staring at me and I lowered the camera making eye contact with him. It was a weird moment, probably only a couple seconds, but it felt like forever. It was a little unsettling but I was so intrigued. I really loved him as a player and it was kinda cool that he acknowledged me. I got nervous though and looked away.

"That was weird." Amy said quietly.

"Okay good so I'm not the only one who thought that was strange?"

"No that was definitely weird. I've never seen Nylander do that before."

"Weird.." I looked back up and he was shaking his head laughing. "It's probably just because I'm new."

"Yeah that could be it."

We focused again on taking pictures throughout the game although I definitely started actually watching and cheering which Amy found hilarious. She ended up taking a picture of me when Montreal got a goal. There were a couple more awkward times where he just stared at me. One time he got a goal while never taking his eyes away from mine. I was definitely impressed but I always was with him so it wasn't exactly a surprise.

Toronto ended up winning unfortunately. 7-4. After the game was done Amy and I went to upload the pictures to a company hard drive as backup.

"We are going out drinking to celebrate your first day!"

"I'm hardly dressed for a club."

"Who cares everyone's gonna be drunk. I want to celebrate with you, get to know you better."

"Alright fine I'm down. Let's go!"

We went to a pretty lowkey bar that was close to the arena. We went up to the bar and sat down ordering two vodka cranberries. We just talked about what had brought us to where we were now. What happened in our lives. I really trusted her and I found myself thinking we were going to be best friends.

"I don't mean to interrupt your story but uh, William is in here."

"Oh?"

"Yeah behind us, 3 o'clock." I turned slightly to look and found him already staring with a grin on his lips.

"God how long has he been looking at me?"

"Since they sat down about 5 minutes ago."

"Unbelievable." I said scoffing. "What's his problem?"

"Maybe he wants to know you?"

"Then why wouldn't he come over here and talk to me?"

"We could go talk to them?"

"Amy! As if my anxious brain would ever let me approach a group of hockey players if I'm not forced to for work."

"Well maybe you won't have to. He's coming over."

"Oh for fuck sake." I downed the rest of my drink as he sat down on my right. Amy got up and went I don't know where. I turned to look at him.

"Hello." He murmured, a glint of mischief in his eyes.

"Uh hi."

"What are you having?"

"Vodka cranberry."

"A baby drink." He turned to the bartender and signalled for two more to be brought over.

"Yeah well."

"I'm William."

"(Y/n)."

"You're new." It wasn't a question but I treated it like one.

"Yes today was my first day."

"How was it? I noticed you not cheering for us."

"It was good. I've never been to a game so it was fun as well as work. And yes you noticed right. Toronto is not my hockey team."

"Ouch you wound me."

"Want a bandaid?"

"Pfft no I think I'll manage." He said with a chuckle. "You're funny."

"Yes I am. Thank you for noticing." I said with a grin.

"I like your smile."

"Shut up that's not even my real smile." I laughed.

"Yeah but I got one right there and i like it too." He smiled then frowned looking behind me.

"What's wrong?"

"I'm afraid my friends don't like that I'm over here talking to you."

"I'm sorry I didn't mean to steal you from your friends."

"You didn't, it's not that, I promise. It's uh.. complicated."

"Complicated how?"

"We have this agreement."

"What kind of agreement?"

"Man you ask a lot of questions."

"I'm sorry." I said blushing immediately.

"Don't be. We have an agreement to not talk to girls when we go drinking."

"Oh how come?"

"We're the rookies. Doesn't really look good on us to be seen with women all the time."

"So they're mad that I'm talking to you?"

"They think I'm trying to sleep with you."

"Are you?"

"Not right this moment." He said with a wink making me laugh.

"Then what are you doing William?" I asked, still smiling at him, resting my head on my hand.

"Making a good first impression I hope. Starting to get to know you perhaps?"

"Why?"

"You're very interesting. Intriguing even. I want to know you."

"That's bold of you to assume. I'm pretty boring you know. Nothing special here."

"I don't agree at all." He said seriously, holding my gaze with warm eyes. "Hey do you maybe want to get out of here?"

"Nylander, I thought you weren't trying to fuck?"

"I'm not. I'm just sick of the glares." he said pointing back to his table. I looked back and locked eyes with an angry Auston Matthews.

"Brr. If looks could kill I'd probably be dead right now."

"Let's go." I must have looked unconvinced because he added, "I promise you'll leave me with your virtue intact."

"Pfft it's hardly intact. What about my friend though?"

"Check your phone, I heard it vibrate, it might've been her." I stared at him hard. "What?"

"You heard it vibrate? In my winter coat pocket?"

"Um maybe it was something else but I thought it was a phone. I have good hearing."

"Ooohkay." I said taking my phone out. "Well you were right. Amy met up with her boyfriend and is headed home."

"So will you come with me?"

"I guess so." I shrugged putting my coat back on. I jumped off the stool and waited for him. "Lead the way."

"You're smaller than I thought."

"Sorry..?"

"No no you've got nothing to apologize for. I'm just usually not off with my perceptions."

"You're a strange one William." I said as he opened the door for me and we stepped out into the frigid winter air.

"You could say that yes." He said with a smile. "Would you be alright to walk around for a little bit? I love when it snows. Something about the snow falling at night is so peaceful."

"Yeah that would be fun. I agree. I love walking in the snow at night time."

"Do you often walk around Toronto at night?"

"No not often. I'm too paranoid to do it much."

"That's probably a good idea. You never know what dangers lurk out here at night."

"Crackheads." I said nodding solemnly, making his burst out laughing.

"That's not exactly what I meant but yes crackheads are not to be messed with."

"I'm more paranoid when no one is around. I think I hear things and I'm on red alert all the time. Sorry that's kinda weird."

"No, you're fine. I understand, although I'm much more nervous about people than I am the lack of them."

"How come?"

"People lie. People will pretend to like you. Learn your secrets and destroy you. It's very rare that I trust a person to get close to me at all."

"Do you trust me..?"

"Yes. You're different, I can tell. There's just something about you that makes me think you'd keep a secret to your dying breath."

"You're right about that. I'd never share something that wasn't mine to share unless someone was in immediate danger. Kinda like a therapist. Confidential until someone might die."

"That's a good way to be. No one likes a snitch." He said making me laugh.

"Dude aren't you cold?"

"No I'm fine."

"But you're just wearing that flimsy jacket. It can't be very warm."

"I promise you I am perfectly comfortable."

We walked around for a while longer talking about hockey mostly before we split ways to head home. As I was going down the steps to the subway I could've sworn I'd seen Auston glaring from across the road. I shook the thought, that would be crazy. I couldn't get past the feeling of being watched though so I made sure to lock up the windows and doors, even checking them twice before going to bed.

#toronto maple leafs #william nylander #william nylander x reader #leafs #maple leaf imagine #maple leafs #mitch marner #auston matthews #kasperi kapanen #morgan rielly #vampire #halloween

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cricketnationrise · 3 years

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February 2021 Reading Roundup

jan 2021 here

21 brief descriptions/feelings under the cut because i talk a lot

Love Lettering by Kate Clayborn: light romance novel with lots of miscommunication, cute not-a-date-dates, and whistleblowing on a giant corporation

Upright Women Wanted by Sarah Gailey: buckle up because you didn’t know you wanted future semi-post-apocalyptic horse-riding queer librarian spies but you definitely do. especially when its less than 200 pages and you can read it in the morning and make your friends read it the same afternoon (warnings for violence with guns and authoritarian governments)

Across the Dark Water by Richard Kadrey: tor.com short story, plague has left the city in ruins and perpetual quarantine, thief hrires a guide to lead him safely through the city to the person who can five him the travel papers he needs to escape, warnings for violence, feral dogs attacking humans, plague

The Long Earth by Terry Pratchett: there are infinite parallel universes and some people can naturally “step” between them, but society is changed forever when someone posts the plans for a “stepper device” for free on the internet and suddenly (almost) everyone can travel between worlds

The Left Hand of Darkness by Ursula K. Le Guin: part of the Hainish cycle but can absolutely be read out of order, genderfuckery abounding, basically everything that happens is a political machination

The Fifth Season by NK Jemisin: reread because my copies of the other two books in the trilogy came in the mail, first in the Broken Earth trilogy, where to start, umm, theres a group of people called orogones who can control rock/earth and there is lots of prejudice against them for that. triple POV that alternates, including one in second person, which is cool, explores all levels of this society from very poor to very rich, “fifth season” refers to a geological event where everything changes and usually a lot of the population dies (the seasons vary from acid rain to earth quakes to volcanoes etc); warning for harm to children, power imbalance, violence, murder, extreme coersion; not exactly a cliffhanger ending, but its not NOT an ending that makes you want the next book pretty quickly after

Empire of Ivory by Naomi Novik: book 4 in the temeraire series, please please please read these in order, alternate history of napoleonic wars with talking dragons that are part of the military and form really close bonds with their captains/riders/crews

Hood Feminism: Notes from the Women That a Movement Forgot by Mikki Kendall: relatively short, non-fiction, what it says on the tin

Just My Type: A Book About Fonts by Simon Garfield: non-fiction, extremely nerdy because that’s how i roll, history of the actual fonts, printing/writing, and a brief look at the most famous designers of fonts, the chapter on comic sans was particularly good

The Soldier’s Scoundrel by Cat Sebastian: book 1 in The Turners romance series, can be read out of order, sex on the page, m/m

Return of the Thief by Megan Whalen Turner: last book (sad) in the Queen’s Thief series, absolutely must read these in order, political machinations abounding, gods meddling a bit, Gen is terrifying as per usual (complementary)

The Uncommon Reader by Alan Bennet: novella? short story? featuring the queen of england discovering reading for pleasure and freaking out her staff, her family, various government officials, and the members of the public who get to meet her

The Book Charmer by Karen Hawkins: technically book 1 in a series but can be read alone, some light magical realism (there’s a family with ~powers~ but small ones like being good at plants or being able to talk to books), a woman moves to a small town with her niece (who she has guardianship over as her sister has just died) and her foster mom who has been diagnosed with Alzheimer’s, the town is struggling financially and she thinks she’ll only be there for one year while they get their feet under them. she is wrong. alternating POV between three characters, light romance

Romancing Mister Bridgerton by Julia Quinn: book 4 in the bridgerton series, focuses on the third oldest brother, Colin; romance, sex on the page, reveal of Lady Whistledown

Beneath the Sugar Sky by Seanan McGuire: book 3 in the wayward children series, novella length, lots of world hopping in this one, some characters from previous books, Confection world, you probably should read these in order

The Obelisk Gate by NK Jemisin: book 2 in the broken earth trilogy; picks up almost immediately after the first one ends, still a three-narrator structure, although the narrators have changed, definitely read in order or nothing will make sense, the worldbuilding in this series is amazing

Lucky Jim by Kingsley Amis: buddy read with my mom, one of those books where the situations are hilarious and the banter is witty but i hated every single character because they are awful, set in an English university outside of london post WW2, warning for alcoholism and smoking

The Tyger by Tegan Moore: tor.com short story, Jules’ favorite exhibit in the museum brings the past to life, from present to prehistoric, tonight at his aunt’s wedding reception as jules walks along the path, it comes alive like never before; horror, but not gory, also it was short enough that i wasn’t too creeped out while reading it

Hockey Bois: A Beer League Romance by AL Heard: romance novel about two guys on the same beer league (adult rec league) hockey team who fall for each other, little to no knowledge of hockey is required, lots of emotions and an amount of not using their words, super cute, their teammates are awesome, their families are fun, plus I love a recurring local dive bar. plus the author is @jhoomwrites on here and there is more written in the universe if you’re interested (there’s smut on AO3 here)

In an Absent Dream by Seanan McGuire: book 4 in the wayward children series, novella length, backstory for a character introduced in book 1; read in order for your own sanity, many emotions were had

The Lawrence Browne Affair by Cat Sebastian: book 2 in the turners series, romance novel, don’t need to read in order, sex on the page

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riversofmars · 3 years

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The penultimate chapter! Read on AO3 or below <3

Chapter 15: Treason

“This is a terrible idea…“ Missy mumbled to herself as she looked around anxiously. She didn’t like the Emperor’s idea of getting into the Citadel at all but it wasn’t like she had a choice. Every now and then, Amy poked her with her gun, prompting her to keep going.

“Just like we did back at the Academy.“ The Emperor didn’t care for her warning. They were halfway through the Cloisters now, the end was in sight.

“The bells are deafening…“ River commented as they made their advance through the dark and foggy passages. “And the Sliders are up in arms.“

“This place is creeping me out…“ Rory added but the Emperor paid little attention to their discomfort. He seemed to know what he was doing and soon enough, they reached the elevators, breathing a collective sigh of relief.

“Just stay close.“ The Emperor hummed when they stepped out of the elevator. “We’re in the heart of the Citadel now.“ He gestured for them to follow.

“Where are we going?“ Missy frowned looking around. “We should go to the Council, give them a chance to negotiate, give them a chance to surrender.“ This was not the way to the Council chambers at all.

“There is something else I’m going to do first…“ The Emperor retorted as they turned another corner and found themselves face to face with four guards.

“Who are you? What are you doing here?“ They reached for their guns but Clara’s raven was faster. The Quantum Shade materialised and shot straight through the first two as the Ponds shot down the others. Missy averted her eyes quickly, she couldn’t watch. That was when she realised where they were. The landing bay of the TARDISes, a long corridor, a TARDIS behind every door.

“What are you…“ She could just make a break for it, try and rush into a TARDIS and take off, run away, but where to? And what would be the point? She needed a plan. She could feel Clara’s eyes on her. She knew the Raven would get her before she would even make it to a door.

“Time for some fireworks.“ The Emperor smirked and looked around expectantly as Amy and Rory set down the backpacks they had been carrying and opened them to reveal explosives.

“You can’t!“ Missy exclaimed as the penny dropped.

“Watch me.“ The Emperor grinned as he gestured for the Ponds to go ahead. “You’re just too slow, Missy, aren’t you? It was never about Gallifrey, it’s about this.“

“Why would you do this?“ Missy wanted to rush after the Ponds but Clara grabbed her arm, holding her back.

“Because once all other means of time travel are destroyed, I will be the most powerful being in the universe. Surely you have realised by now that this was inevitable.“

“They are sentient beings! You can’t do this! Think of your own TARDIS! These are her people!“ Missy protested, hoping to make him see reason.

“I appreciate that but I can’t take the risk. When they aligned themselves with the Timelords, they sealed their fate.“ He retorted seemingly unfazed as Amy and Rory places explosives along the corridor.

“Please, reconsider. You don’t have to do this. The universe already bows to you, what’s the point of this needless destruction? The Council know of what you’ve done, of what you’re capable of, I know it, everyone does. You don’t have to prove yourself anymore. Please don’t do this. A timelord should never kill a TARDIS.“ Missy pleaded.

“I’m not just a Timelord, I’m the Emperor.“ The Emperor grinned.

“So you are. You already have everything. You don’t need to do this, please.“ Tears blurred Missy’s vision. This was too much. Surely, not even he could be capable of this.

“Perhaps the TARDISes would be more help to us than destroying them would be.“ River spoke up, much to everyone’s surprise and Missy looked to her hopefully. Maybe there was still a little bit left of the girl Madame Kovarian had tried to save.

“Don’t do this.“ Missy spoke firmly, pulling herself together. “There is no coming back from that.“

“And you think there is going back from what I’ve done to date?“ The Emperor laughed and Missy was surprised at how bitter a sound it was.

“Maybe… if you’re willing to try…“ She said softly. “These are your people, maybe they will welcome you back but not if you do this. That’s what you’ve wanted, isn’t it. To return to Gallifrey victorious and people turn to you? They won’t if you do this.“ Missy tried to reason.

“She’s trying to turn your head.“ Clara interjected and Amy agreed:

“Don’t listen to her.“

There was a moment of tense silence as the Emperor actually seemed to consider her words. Maybe he did have enough of all the fighting, the cruelty, the killing. Maybe all he wanted was to come home, the conquering hero. They would never know as an icy voice cut through the silence:

“A moment of weakness, how undignified.“ A hollow thud followed and the Emperor’s face fell. He coughed and spat out blood. He locked eyes with River as the realisation dawned on her face as well.

“NO!“ She shouted when the Emperor dropped to his knees and fall over onto all fours, a knife embedded in his back. She rushed to his side as the others looked on in shock.

“Sorry, that was perhaps a bit impulsive but we have a causality loop to close and this seemed as good a time as any.“ They all looked up to the end of the corridor. A blonde woman was strolling towards them, followed by heavily armed guards.

“Who are you?“ Missy stared at her in shock. She could sense that she was a Timelord, there was something incredibly familiar about her.

“I thought that was obvious, I always said you were slow, Missy.“ The blonde smirked tilting her head in amusement, she flipped a knife in her hand, identical to the one lodged in the Emperor’s back, as she came to a halt in front of them.

“What have you done?“ Clara pressed through gritted teeth and the raven on her shoulder gave a threatening squark.

“No…“ River breathed looking up to her husband’s killer in disbelief.

“Don’t worry, Sweetie, I will be just fine.“ The blonde smiled with surprising tenderness in her voice and River let out a sob of relief as the penny dropped.

“Was this really necessary?“ River lowered her husband to the floor who was starting to fizz with regenerative energy and stood.

“This had to happened.“ The Emperor smiled apologetically and pulled River into her arms. “Sorry, it’s… been a while for me.“

“Okay, this is a lot to process.“ Amy sighed and Missy was utterly dumbfounded. Just as she had thought she was getting somewhere, the Emperor had outdone her yet again.

“The palace is secure, Emperor.“ One of the guards, a young woman, announced.

“Great.“ The Emperor smiled and let go of River. She turned to the guards. “We’ll have to take my body to Earth, Sheffield, in 2019, things will unfold from there.“ She instructed them and there were nods all round. “This makes so much sense now, I couldn’t remember what it was… or how I died, I just remembered being on Gallifrey and then finding myself back on Earth having regenerated.“ The Emperor explained to the others as she watched the regeneration energy pouring out of her former self. “While you have been making your way in, I’ve taken control of the Council and Gallifrey already. Just one thing remains to be done.“ She gestured to the bombs the Ponds had placed.

“Don’t!“ Missy exclaimed finding her voice again at last. “They’re sentient beings, it’s genocide!“

“What’s one more genocide now?“ The Emperor chuckled. “This will cement my reign forever. There will be only one Timelord meddling with time from now on. The Timelord Victorious.“

——

“This way…“ The Doctor pulled Missy along as they ducked into an alcove to avoid a patrol of guards.

“There is a lot more guards than I thought there would be…“ Missy admitted as they waited for them to be gone.

“Hence the disguise.“ The Doctor replied though she hoped they wouldn’t get in a situation where she would have to put on the act again, considering how badly it had ended last time. “Yaz and her men won’t be stuck down there forever, if anyone can find a way out of there, it’s her. We have to get to the Council before she can sound the alarm.“

“Ryan! Get a move on, her Royal Highness is requesting assistance in Miss Oswald’s quarters.“ The Doctor recognised Graham’s voice down the corridor and she tensed up.

“But that’s where…“

“You said she can look after herself.“ Missy said softly grabbing hold of her hand to reassure her. “You said this was the way to do this.“ The Doctor took a deep breath and nodded.

“Let’s go.“

——

“I think it really would be best for everyone if you just let me leave.“ River took a couple of steps forward but the Emperor barred her way, keeping herself between her and the TARDIS door.

“I don’t think so. You’re just the bargaining chip I need.“ The Emperor grinned. This really was a very fortunate coincidence. The Doctor was strong willed and stubborn, just like she herself was of course, but she knew they also shared the same weakness in their love for their wives. “Do you want to do this the hard way?“ The Emperor asked when River kept walking.

“Certainly looks like it.“ River smirked in return as she took a swing at her. The Emperor ducked her punch and knocked herself into her to push her backwards. River jabbed into her side and the Emperor stumbled back. She pulled a knife from her belt and looked back at River to realise she had managed to grab one of them as well.

“I’ll have that, thanks.“ River smirked weighing the blade in her hand and the Emperor chuckled:

“You know, you could be quite fun to have around. Are you sure you’re overly attached to the Doctor? I’m sure my wife wouldn’t mind too much, could be a lot of fun.“

“Oh I don’t doubt that.“ River laughed. “But as a time traveller I can assure you I’ve been there and done that.“ She lunged forward, the Emperor moved back just enough, the knife missed her throat by an inch. She knocked River’s arm up, going for the side of her body but River was quick enough to twist out of her grip and evade being stabbed.

“I’m starting to like you.“ The Emperor smirked as she made sure to guard the door.

“What’s not to love about a blood thirsty assassin in your quarters. And I was trying so hard to avoid killing anyone.“ River hummed before flinging herself at her again. She grabbed hold of the Emperor’s wrists and knocked her backwards through the door. The momentum carried them through and they flipped over. The Emperor ended up on top, but River still held her wrists as she tried to push the knife into her chest. She managed to flip them around again and knocked the Emperor’s hand into the floor to make her drop the knife.

“Emperor!“ A voice sounded interrupting the fight. River looked up to find herself looking into several guns. The Emperor used her momentary distraction to throw her off. River caught herself and stood slowly, assessing the situation. Three guards stood in the doorway, the Emperor focused on the woman heading them up as she got to her feet as well.

“Exceptional timing, Captain.“ She said.

“What’s going on in here…“ Yaz asked slowly, keeping her gun on River who remained still. She knew how to pick her fights.

“Oh just… the Doctor’s wife dropping in for a visit.“ The Emperor looked back to River to make sure she was behaving and then back to Yaz. “What happened?“

“The Doctor is here. Her and Missy came in through the Cloisters.“ Yaz explained.

“Where are they now?“ The Emperor asked, her eyes widening in surprise. Somewhere in the distance the bells were tolling again. She had been right. The Doctor was about to become a big problem. She caught a little smile crossing River’s otherwise stoic expression at the mention of her wife with only served to antagonise her more.

“We’re looking for them.“ Yaz replied and the Emperor nodded:

“And quickly.“ She focused on River who was listening closely but her expression had turned emotionless. “Sorry we couldn’t continue this.“ The Emperor smirked and pushed her knife back into her belt.

“That certainly spoiled the fun.“ River dropped her knife accepting that this was not the right time to keep fighting. She knew when resistance was futile. She would get her chance later.

“Captain?“ A voice buzzed through the communications system and Yaz activated her communicator.

“What is it?“

“The Doctor has been spotted heading to the Council chamber.“ The voice explained.

“Well, I know where we’re going then.“ The Emperor smirked and glanced to River who’s expression remained unreadable. “Let’s see what your wife has been up to, I’m sure she’d be delighted to see you.“

——

When the Doctor and Missy burst into the Council chamber the generals stared at them in shock. There was a moment of stunned silence until a few of them started scrambling to their feet, muttering greetings.

“Emperor, I’m afraid there’s no news yet…“ An elderly man at the front started.

“Oh yeah right… uh…“ The Doctor realised the mistake immediately and looked to Missy for help, as did some of the generals.

“Missy?“ A younger man asked who sat a bit further back.

“What’s going on.“ A white haired woman questioned, frowning, confused.

“This is going to be difficult to explain, I’m pretty sure the Emperor kept this from you…“ The Doctor said slowly.

“Please, everyone, just listen.“ Missy took hold of the Doctor’s hand in support as she stepped forward to address the room. “I know we haven’t seen each other in a long time but I know you’re prisoners here as we all are, just because you’re here in the comfort of the palace doesn’t mean you’re any less trapped.“

“What is going on?“ The generals exchanged anxious glances.

“I’m not the Emperor.“ The Doctor said, feeling the need to clarify.

“What…“ The Council members stared back at her in shock.

“I’m not her. I’m the Doctor. I came here by accident, from a parallel universe to this one.“ The Doctor carried on when she realised they weren’t believing her. And why should they? It was a big stretch. They all got to their feet now, anxious, feeling like they needed to do something. “Wait wait wait, before you do anything, please hear me out.“ The Doctor pleaded.

“Your Highness, if this is some sort of test or perhaps a joke to…“ The older man from before tried his best to cut through the turmoil as the Cloister Bells rung far below, growing more insistent.

“It is not.“ The Doctor said firmly. “And I’m telling you this in the hope that you will not betray me, betray us.“ She looked to Missy who nodded encouragingly. “The Emperor is after me because she knows I’m going to try and help. Help all of you. Bring an end to this reign of terror.“

“You know me, we’ve grown up together. She’s telling the truth.“ Missy tried to appeal to them as the murmuring started up again.

“You can make a difference if you act now, I’ve got a plan but I’m going to need your help.“ The Doctor insisted. “Please say you will help us.“ She looked to Missy and then back to the group. “Let me help you.“

“Help with what exactly?“ The Doctor and Missy whirled around at the sound of the Emperor’s voice. “Not interrupting, am I?“ The Emperor grinned as she looked around the room at terrified faces as silence fell.

“River…“ The Doctor recognised her wife immediately and River gave her a smile of confirmation. The Doctor tried her best not to show her anxiety and worry for her wife’s wellbeing when she realised she was handcuffed and had two guns pointed at her at any given time.

“I would refrain from any sudden movements, Doctor, for your wife’s sake.“ The Emperor smirked as she walked further into the room. She looked around at the confused and terrified faces of her generals. They were struggling to follow and who could blame them? But that wouldn’t stop her.

“And you lot… why did no-one sound the alarm. I should think this qualifies as something I should be informed about.“ The Emperor was quick to anger and gestured for her guards to occupy the room as she stared down the generals.

“We thought she was you, your Highness.“ One of them spoke with a quivering voice and the Doctor balled her fists, she hated the way she was making them tremble. She could only imagine the things she had done to have this effect on them.

“You will not make that mistake again.“ The Emperor hissed. “What are you hoping to accomplish here, Doctor?“ She turned back to her doppelgänger. “And you, Missy, so you really were stupid enough to go along with her.“

“Anything to stop you.“ Missy shot back through gritted teeth. What was the point of making nice and pretending otherwise now? If this was going to be the end, she wanted to have a clear conscience and know that she had tried her best.

“Yeah?“ The Emperor’s expression turned to one of fury and she struck Missy across the face. Missy gasped and stumbled back, the Doctor caught and pulled her behind herself protectively. “And what have you been up to in the Cloisters? I hear you cost some good men their lives.“ The Emperor seethed.

“Their own fault for venturing too far to where humans shouldn’t be.“ The Doctor retorted. “So many humans everywhere, almost as if you don’t have the support of your own people.“ She squared her jaw.

“What do you think, Councillors, do I not have the support of my people?!“ The Emperor shouted, turning to the generals who were quick to nod and make their assurances.

“You’re meant to be the leaders of these people and you pander to a tyrant betraying the weak and vulnerable, it’s disgraceful.“ River shook her head looking around the room.

“No, it’s smart.“ The Emperor shot back.

“The Timelords are just the last civilisation to be conquered. They’re not your people. They’re being occupied. By you and your bullies.“ The Doctor shook her head at the Emperor before turning to the Council: “What has she got on you to make you accomplices to this? Your families? You need to stand up to her. She can’t take all of you.“

“Well, this is nice, isn’t it, everyone is here already.“ They were interrupted by another arrival. River - the Emperor’s wife - strolled into the room. Graham and Ryan followed close behind her, Ryan was carrying Clara, unconscious and helpless, over his shoulder.

“What have you been up to?“ The Emperor asked bewildered at the scene in front of her. All of this was getting rather difficult to follow. Two Rivers, the Doctor and Missy amongst her generals, and Clara? How did all this figure together? The Doctor’s River had told her that her River was confronting Clara but she wasn’t sure what to make of this.

“Getting a confession from this traitor, as promised.“ The Emperor’s wife retorted just as Ryan unceremoniously dropped Clara onto the floor. The Doctor and Missy exchanged anxious glances, the Doctor’s wife maintained her stoic expression. She had, after all, seen to this happening in some way. The other River carried on: “As suspected, she was working with the Doctor. Perhaps it’s time we all show our cards?“ She looked to her wife’s doppelgänger with amusement, like a lioness stalking its prey.

“Yes, why don’t we!“ The Emperor clapped her hands together. She did enjoy a good show and it would be just the thing to put the generals back in their place. “This should be educational for all of you!“ She looked around the room, regarding the Council with cruel delight. “Anybody got a glass of water?“ Everyone looked back at her confused. “Fine.“ The Emperor sighed. She knelt next to Clara and slapped her across her face to wake her up.

Clara groaned slowly regaining consciousness. The Doctor looked to her River who appeared unfazed and then to Missy who tried her best to hide her distress and discomfort. The Emperor struck Clara again for good measure, growing impatient while her wife looked on in amusement.

“What’s going on…“ Clara mumbled disoriented.

“Looks like you’ve had a little nap.“ The Emperor chuckled, endlessly entertained. Clara pushed herself up a little, anxious, feeling everyone’s eyes on her. She tried to compose herself but she couldn't stand up, her muscles wouldn’t cooperate yet.

“What happened?“ She looked around skittishly, her eyes flew from one River, the one that had quite obviously betrayed her, to the other that seemed to be having the time of her life.

“Slipped something in your drink.“ The Emperor’s wife answered happily.

“What…“ Fear took over Clara, she had been found out, how could she possibly get herself out of this situation? “What did you do?“ Clara looked to the Doctor’s River accusingly, she had to be the reason she had been found out. The Doctor looked to her wife as well, she wasn’t sure whether to be surprised or unsettled by how easily she had seemingly played Clara. She could only hope River had made the right decision.

“Don’t even try. The shade is gone, you’re helpless.“ The other River mocked as Clara was looking for a way out.

“What did you do?“ Clara spat in anger as she managed to stand at last.

“What I should have done a long time ago.“ The Emperor’s wife retorted. “When the shade realised how weak you were, it was easily persuaded to swap sides.“

“But I…“ Clara’s expression turned desperate, everything was crumbling around her. She had taken a risk and lost. How could she have been so stupid? She had allowed her jealousy to cloud her judgement and now it was too late.

“Time to come clean, Clara, I already know you were trying to have us killed so don’t even deny it. I just want you do give me a good reason as to why.“ The Emperor interrupted her. She had heard and seen enough. She had to put an end to this now before the damage could spread. The bells below were continually picking up speed, urging her on. She had to keep the people she could trust close and dispose of everyone else if she wanted to maintain her reign. She wasn’t naive, she knew Clara had always been an element of disunity among them but she had always been worth the trouble. Now, the tables had turned. The only plausible explanation was that this was all the Doctor’s doing.

“I just…“ Clara was at a loss. How did one explain years of feeling overlooked? Of feeling used and not seen? Of always playing second fiddle and never feeling like she had a place amongst them at all?

“Was it you, Doctor? Is this your doing? Did you turn her against me?“ The Emperor turned to the Doctor when Clara couldn’t manage an answer.

“No. You managed to do that all to yourself.“ The Doctor retorted calmly. “Clara approached us, not the other way around. What does that say about you?“ She knew she was on thin ice but this was what they had to work with.

“You’re lying.“ The Emperor hissed. “I’ve given her everything. Wealth, power…“

“Which was clearly not enough.“ The Doctor’s River interjected cooly. She felt for Clara, she really did, there was something incredibly sad about how things had turned out for her. To have love turn to jealousy, turn to obsession, turn to hatred… but she couldn't take back now what she had done. In the end these people seemed all as bad as each other and she had to keep her own goal in sights. She knew her wife probably wouldn’t see it quite like that but she knew how to be pragmatic when it was needed.

“Tell me they’re lying, Clara!“ The Emperor snapped, keeping her eyes firmly on the Doctor who shook her head slowly, sad to see how this was turning out.

“All I ever wanted was for you to notice me…“ Clara whispered, finding her voice at last. What was the point of lying now? It was all over anyway. The Emperor whipped around in disbelief. She had wanted the Doctor to be responsible.

“I knew it.“ The Emperor’s River shook her head, her voice laced with disgust and triumph in equal measured. The Emperor raised her hand for her to be quiet as she focused on Clara.

“Did I not give you everything?“ She growled as she stepped closer to her.

“We could have ruled together if you could just have…“ Tears sprung to Clara’s eyes as she pleaded for her to understand, to see her at last.

“We were ruling together.“ The Emperor growled into the tense silence. “And now you’re driving a wedge between us, you are making us weak!“ She raised her voice making Clara flinch. “Who am I supposed to trust now if even you betray me?!“ She turned back to look at the Doctor and spat: “Are you enjoying this, Doctor?“

“I’m despising every moment.“ The Doctor replied calmly.

“Tell me, Doctor, in all your wisdom, what am I meant to do?“ The Emperor laughed bitterly. “The only penalty for treason is death. I should kill her. Or should I spare her because she is my friend? But will I ever be able to trust her again? Knowing what she tried to do?“

“She wanted your attention, not your life, she…“ The Doctor tried to reason, taking pity on Clara, but the Emperor interrupted:

“She wanted power, we all do. It’s what’s making this world go round. There is only those who have power and those who don’t. The ones that rule and the ones that bow at our feet.“ She turned back to Clara and smacked her across the face with the back of her hand. Clara stumbled back and River shoved her forward again, knocking her down to her knees. “I gave her everything!“ The Emperor called out to the room, then turned back to Clara: “I have given YOU EVERYTHING! AND YOU DARE BETRAY ME?!“ She took a deep breath, composing herself. “This is your fault, Doctor.“ She glanced to the Doctor to make sure she was watching as she pulled a knife from her belt. “You prompted this. Everything was fine before you turned up. You offered to help her. Her death will be on you.“ She looked down to Clara who just shook her head to herself in disbelief. How could she have been so stupid?

“No, don’t!“ Missy exclaimed rushing forward before the Doctor could stop her. She pushed herself between the Emperor and Clara. “It’s my fault, I brought you together, it’s not her fault, she couldn’t help herself!“

��Missy, always the hero.“ The Emperor grimaced patronisingly.

“Believe me, this has always been my plan, I always knew it would end like this. I knew that Clara would fall for you, I knew the length to which she would go, and that you never would be able to give her what she wanted. It was fool proof, it was going to rip your inner circle apart, she couldn’t have…“ The words were spilling over Missy’s lips in a desperate attempt to make up for all the heartbreak and suffering her actions had caused. And in the end - and that was the worst part - it hadn’t even worked. It only meant more death and the Emperor remained unshakable and unfazed as ever. She would simply eliminate Clara and carry on.

“I underestimated you Missy, that is very insidious, very clever.“ The Emperor was genuinely impressed at the revelation. “But now it looks like your plan has failed, she’s outlived her usefulness and you try and save her? Plead for her life? You embarrass me.“

“Clara, I’m so sorry.“ Missy glanced to Clara who didn’t even look at her, she just laughed bitterly.

“Of course you are.“

“Yes, yes, we all are very sorry.“ The Emperor sighed and shoved Missy to the side. “Enough should have been enough for you, Clara. Your greed was your downfall.“

“And yours will be your hubris.“ Clara shot back defiantly, looking up to her at last.

“If so, you won’t be around to see it.“ The Emperor shrugged pressing her knife to her throat but before she could follow through, Clara dematerialised.

There was uproar.

“What just happened?!“ The Emperor shouted whipping around and her wife shouted to the guards to find out where Clara could have gone to. The Doctor let go the breath she was holding and Missy laughed in relief.

“Ah yeah, about that, that would have been me.“ River - the Doctor’s wife - raised her hand with mild amusement, the handcuffs dangling off it as she had undone them, demanding everyone’s attention. The Doctor looked to her wife and couldn’t help a grin, she knew she always had an ace up her sleeve, particularly when she had been responsible for what happened.

“What have you done?!“ The other River exclaimed.

“Sorry, sister, you didn’t think I was going to make it that easy for you, did you?“ River smirked looking into dumbfound faces. “Thanks again for letting me have a look around your quarters, really very helpful.“ She carried on and looked to her wife, meeting her eyes. The Doctor’s heart rates picked up when she realised River was several steps ahead of them. “Do come back for me, Sweetie.“ She winked at her and the Doctor couldn’t believe her eyes when she pulled her doppelgänger’s vortex manipulator from her cleavage. What better place to hide something valuable? She had been several steps ahead of them already. She threw it to the Doctor before anyone could react.

“Always do.“ The Doctor barely managed to reply but she knew better than to stall. She hit the green button and disappeared into thin air. River grinned and raised her hands as guns were being pointed at her.

“Where has she gone? Track her!“ The Emperor shouted.

“You can’t track a vortex manipulator, you can’t follow her.“ River informed her smugly.

“Where did she go?“ The Emperor went for River’s throat. She dug her nails into her skin but River didn't flinch, she just smirked.

“I have absolutely no idea but I bet it’s somewhere where she’s gonna do some damage to you.“ She answered growing a little breathless but maintaining her smugness.

“Monitor everything, if you detect the slightest irregularity in the time streams…“ The Emperor shoved River back and turned to face the Council again.

“Of course, Emperor.“ There was a chorus of agreement.

“And she would leave you? Just like that?“ The Emperor’s wife looked to the other River with no small measure of surprise.

“I’m a big girl, I can look after myself.“ River replied seemingly unbothered.

“Can you now.“ The Emperor spat. “Take her and Missy to the dungeon. Make sure everything is set for the celebrations, we will be using the arena.“

10 notes · View notes

justwritethatdown · 4 years

Text

Bechloe Week 2020 – Day3: Drunk Texts

We were bound to be together

An au where Beca didn't get together with Jesse and that allowed her relationship with Chloe to grow.

The way Pitch Perfect 1 should have gone ;)

Set during Beca’s first two years at Barden; everything goes as it should, nothing angsty happens and everyone is happy. Just a sloppy falling-in-love story between two college girls, told through their drunk texts, kind of...

Rating: T

Words Count: 2.5K

Thanks to @viharistenno for being my beta

Read here or on AO3

She took my arm, I don’t know how it happened

After Hood Night, Beca was lying on her bed; the weird buzzing in her brain caused by alcohol made it hard for her to fall asleep. She wasn’t used to drinking and partying with strangers until late night, but she had to admit it wasn’t the worst thing she’d done. That Jesse seemed nice after all, a little pushy maybe, but Beca knew she needed a push sometimes, maybe she should give him a chance-

Her phone buzzed on the nightstand

CHLOE BEALE: Im so glad that I met you xx

BECA: Yeah, you kinda mentioned that…

Beca bit her bottom lip and a bright smile formed on her face. There was something about Chloe, that didn’t make Beca want to push her away. On the contrary, it was rather a pull, that made Beca want to get closer to her.

She placed the phone on her stomach, letting out a heavy sigh, smile still present on her lips. Beca couldn’t believe she actually auditioned for an acapella singing group, just because a crazy – naked – girl told her to, after crushing her shower and forcing her to sing with her; it was a situation that normally would have made her run for the hills and yet, she went to the audition – and she got in – and to the following party. Beca didn’t even know how that happened, Chloe had dragged her into this whole new world, and she was kinda okay with that.

It confused Beca; for the first time her instinct didn’t tell her to push this person away, it told her to get to know her better, to become her friend, but most of all Beca wanted Chloe to like her, she wanted to impress her. She checked her phone to see if Chloe had texted her anything else, but there were no new messages, so she let out another sigh – a disappointed one this time – and put the phone away.

Maybe Chloe was still with shower guy, they seemed to be pretty close at the party. Her stomach twisted and Beca huffed again; the way Chloe had grabbed her arms and how close she got to her while talking, gave her some vibes, for a moment she’d thought that the redhead was flirting with her – a thought she wasn’t completely opposed to – but then she saw her with that guy while she was busy talking to Jesse, and kicked herself for being so delusional, she was well aware they were having sex in the sowers, they were obviously together.

Beca shook her head and rolled her eyes to herself, turning to her side to try to sleep.

I felt it in my chest as she looked at me

CHLOE: Admit you had fun tonight! :P

Beca was a bit more tipsy than usual – okay, let’s say she was drunk – but it wasn’t her fault; Amy arrived there with the clear internet of getting the brunette drunk that night. She dumbly smiled at her phone and almost gave in, but then she remembered their bet.

“I don’t know why I let you drag me to this stupid party” she spat out when they arrived at the ΣΒΘ frat house.

“Come on, I bet you’re going to have fun” cheered Chloe making Beca roll her eyes.

“I doubt it” stated the brunette.

“We’re here bitches!” screamed Amy going straight for the alcohol table, followed by Stacie.

When her head started to spin, Beca realized that maybe she’d let Amy fix her one drink too much, but she didn’t care, not when Chloe was leaning in so close to whisper things in her ear – shout actually, to be heard over the loud music – and had one arm wrapped around Beca’s shoulders; the weight of Chloe on her felt amazing and the way Chloe looked at her made her heart do funny things in her chest.

Beca definitely blamed it on the alcohol, but deep inside she knew it was the same feeling she had the first time they met at the activities fair; that smile Chloe gave her and those blue eyes, so deep that Beca felt like she was drowning in them, knocked all the air out of her lungs and she felt her heart racing.

Even if she did run away that time, Beca just couldn’t stop thinking about her, until that girl jumped in her shower, making Beca incredibly frustrated and embarrassed. No matter how hard she tried, she couldn’t help but looking – more than once – at the girl’s naked body and her mind wandered without her permission. Chloe was undeniably beautiful, and her confidence made her even hotter.

Beca should have known then that she was gone, but – always oblivious to her own feelings – it took her several weeks of parties and rehearsals to know that she had, in fact, fallen head over hills for the redhead.

Suddenly Beca felt Chloe stepping away from her and saw the girl launching herself into Tom’s arms. The brunette found herself downing the remains of her drink and accepting a new one from Amy. The rest of the night is still a blur, she vaguely remembered Jesse helping her through her dorm room door and saying good night, at which she believed she grunted before the guy closed the door behind him.

Beca frowned at the memory and looked back at her phone; there was a new message on the screen

CHLOE: you disappeared tho. Stacie said you left w Jesse :(

BEC: yoy wr wit Tom

CHLOE: I told you I was going to say hi and when I came back you were gone >.<

BEC: are u tofether?

CHLOE: No, I’m alone

BEC: no I mwan ar you datingm

BEC: ?

Chloe started typing and deleting and Beca started to freak out; she’d known this girl for less than a year, she saw her with Tom from day one, she had no right whatsoever to be upset about them dating, even if Chloe had been sending her mixed signals from the start and was annoyingly touchy and loving and not-so-unintentionally made Beca’s head spin more than alcohol did

CHLOE: No, he’s not my boyfriend. We used to be fwb but I ended it a while ago because I started to like someone… :)<3

Just keep your eyes on me

The following day Beca felt like shit; her head hurt, and she felt nauseous, that’s why she was immensely grateful to Chloe for dragging her to that stupid party the night before their special rehearsal’s session.

“Remind me to kill you when this is over” she lamented when Chloe greeted her with her usual bright smile – the girl clearly didn’t drink as much as Beca did the night before – and a quick hug

“Can’t wait” winked the redhead, making Beca’s blood boil in her veins.

Chloe really looked amazing that morning and was clearly making an effort to be noticed by the brunette; she managed to make even that idiotic hostess choreography look beautiful. It wasn’t just the dancing, Beca found every movement Chloe made incredibly sexy, maybe because of that half confession she had made the night before, or maybe because Beca knew Chloe was doing it on purpose; she knew it because Chloe basically never dropped her eye contact with Beca, almost like she was trying to cast a spell on her, and maybe she did.

“You’re on a mission today huh?” Beca hushed to her during a break

“I don’t know what you’re talking about” answered Chloe wearing a shit eating grin

“Well, better for me then, I’m enjoying the show” she shot back without thinking too much about it and regretting it right away, but the fire it lit in Chloe’s eyes told her she’d said just the right thing.

“What’s with all this eye fucking?” suddenly spat out Amy, making the room giggle. Except for Beca who became bright red, and Aubrey who cleared her throat glaring at Chloe, who innocently smiled biting her lip.

“Did you finally hook up or something?” asked Stacie in amusement

“Can we focus on the damn choreography?” asked Aubrey grinding her teeth.

Deep in her eyes, I think I see the future

Beca’s plan was simple: to go to college for one year, convince her dad that she tried and have him send her to Los Angeles the following year to finally start working towards her dream of producing music. However, something along the way went incredibly wrong, or rather incredibly right, and now all she wanted was to stay there with those nerds who somehow became her family.

The look on Chloe’s face when they won the finals made Beca realize that her future wasn’t in LA, her future was right there with those girls, with Chloe. In that moment Beca felt like she belonged there; she saw her next few years at Barden, with the Bellas, and in the hug they shared, Beca felt that Chloe would be part of her life forever.

The girls celebrated in the Bellas’ sorority house and they all, even Aubrey, got incredibly wasted. Most of the girls had already moved there from their dorms and wouldn’t have to go anywhere after their party.

During the night Chloe made sure to let Beca know, more than once, how sad she was that the brunette had decided to really leave for Los Angeles in the end, instead of moving in with her, and she never left her side the whole night. They drank together and laughed and danced, and they almost kissed, but Chloe pulled away last minute confusing Beca. When Beca asked her why, Chloe mumbled with watery eyes “you’re leaving, what’s the point?”, but immediately cleared her throat and dragged Beca to dance with the others. In her inebriated state, the music and Chloe’s body moving rhythmically against hers, were enough to distract Beca from that statement. Only later, walking back to her dorm, it carved its way back into her mind.

BEC ♡: I not gng to LA

CHLO: ???

BEC ♡: im stang heee

Chloe’s reply was a string of emojis Beca was too drunk to interpret followed by

CHLO: yoy styng w the bellassssss

BEC ♡: im staying fr you

CHLO: were gnna be cocaptnsss!!!

This woman is my destiny

Beca’s second year at Barden started out completely differently from her first one; she was living in a sorority house along with eight other girls and was co-captain of the acapella group she led to victory the year before.

Her relationship with Chloe evolved in a strange way; they acted like a married couple now, but they never crossed the line, both too scared of ruining what they had. With Aubrey gone, the Bellas were their responsibility and Beca knew that was what mattered the most to Chloe, so she chose to focus on their acapella group. For Chloe, not because she was scared of fucking things up, obviously.

Their mutual pinning was clear to all their friends; some of them – Amy – teased them about it, while others desperately tried to help them figure it out.

One night, during one of their let’s-get-drunk-because-why-not nights, they were playing truth or dare

“Beca” started Stacie “truth or dare?” she asked with a wicked smile, making Beca sweat

“Truth…” tentatively answered the brunette

“Do you have more than platonic feelings for anyone in this room?” asked Stacie raising an eyebrow. Chloe held her breath at that and Beca was the only one to miss it, too occupied freaking out

“Dare” blurted out Beca “dare, I meant dare!” Beca’s heart started beating dangerously fast, hoping that Stacie would have let her change her reply, but the girl’s eyes twinkled and Beca knew she’d fallen right into her trap.

“I dare you… to kiss the girl you have the biggest toner in the world for and release us all from this ridiculous sexual tension you two generate” commanded the tall girl rolling her eyes.

Beca felt all the air leave her lungs. Everything was silent around her and all she could hear was the uneven beating of her heart. She swallowed hard looking at Chloe to see what her reaction had been and the girl’s hesitant smile calmed Beca a little.

Beca wasn’t one to back down from a challenge and the alcohol in her system only made her more competitive, but most of all, there was nothing in the world she wanted more than to finally kiss Chloe, so she crossed the circle they were sitting in to reach the redhead on the other side of it. Chloe was biting her bottom lip in anticipation and Beca could see in her eyes that the girl wanted to kiss her just as much as she did.

Beca gently rested her palm on Chloe’s cheek. They didn’t speak, but they didn’t need words to communicate; their eyes were saying all they needed to say. They expressed how much they both wanted to do this, but only if the other was okay with that, and that it was going to be okay. They completely forgot they weren’t alone.

Beca leaned in and kissed her, Chloe wrapped her arms around Beca’s neck and pulled her closer, letting out a sigh that made Beca’s heart flutter. They stayed there, kneeling in the middle of the living room, kissing slowly and deeply, their lips moved together as if they were dancing. Beca wasn’t sure who deepened the kiss, but as soon as their tongues touched, a million fireworks went off in her brain, covering the sound of their friends whooping and clapping and wolf whistling – Amy – and making her forget her own name.

Beca couldn’t have enough of Chloe’s lips. When the kiss ended and Chloe tried to move away, Beca desperately chased her mouth and started kissing her again, gaining a chuckle from the redhead. The two girls were only separated by Amy accidently bathing them in tequila while waving a bottle in the air, shouting that they had to drink to that.

After two – or was it three? – Bhloe drinks, as Amy had named them, Beca was still snuggled up next to Chloe. They shared some quick kisses during the rest of the night and when they decided to go wrap it up, Beca really wasn’t ready to sleep. All she wanted to do was kiss Chloe all night long and the morning after, and for the rest of her life. When Chloe pulled her in for another kiss, she was happy to welcome Chloe’s tongue in her mouth again

“Good night, baby” whispered Chloe against her lips before leaving.

Beca was lying awake in her bed; she could still feel the ghost of Chloe’s lips lingering on hers. She took her phone and started typing.

BEC ♡: I lied at trth o dre I dont have a tner for you

CHLO: Bec…

*CHLO IS TYPING*

BEC ♡: Im crazy abt yoy! youre my destiny

BEC ♡: you’re

CHLO: you jst gve me a heartattack yoi asshole1

BEC ♡: srry xD

CHLO: wnna cme here to sleep w me?

BEC ♡: we r drnk…

CHLO: I jut wanna slp

BEC ♡: Any wll tease th shit out of us

CHLO: I don’t care

CHLO: I miss u

Beca didn’t really use much her bed in the Bellas’ house.

#bechloe #bechloeweek #Bechloe week 2020 #beca mitchell #chloe beale #pitch perfect

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imaginesforyourfandom · 4 years

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Heal My Heart - Chapter 3

December 2007 (Y/N) POV

“To the left (Y/N), to the left…oh my god! Do you not know what the fucking left is?” I rolled my eyes as Blake turned and glared at me. “We could’ve had that you know…”

“I am so sorry.” I muttered as she continued glaring at me.

“No, you’re not.”

“I’m not.” I grinned as the other girl shook her head. I sat the controller down standing up at the knock on the door. I opened to see a smiling Alex Morgan. I grinned back at the girl as I moved aside to let her into the room.

“Hey guys. I am getting ready to leave. My mom is here.” Blake and I both nodded as we gave the girl hugs.

“Merry Christmas Alex.” I said as she hugged me tightly.

“Merry Christmas (Y/N). If I don’t see you before you leave for camp, good luck and I believe in you.” I smiled at her as she turned to exit the room. “Bye! I love you!”

“Love you too.” Blake shouted back as she turned to set up a new game.

I went back and sat by her as we continued playing. After playing for another few hours, I realized it was almost time for me to go do my last shift at the coffee shop before I had to head home for the holidays.

“Are you excited to go home?” Blake asked me as I laid in my bed.

“Yeah. I miss my family and it will be nice to spend some time with my mom. What about you?”

“I’m excited. I missed my dad.” I nodded my head before getting up and getting ready for work.

Things have been a little better lately. I finished the semester strong with A’s and B’s and I’ve been a little bit better. I still haven’t really talked much with Christen after the whole Kelley thing. We both apologized and made up, but I still feel awkward about talking to her. I guess a part of me is still hurt by what happened. Blake has helped me a lot through it. I don’t think I realized how much I needed an actual friend to talk about stuff with until I started to open up to her.

We have a lot in common and it feels like we have known each other a lot longer than we have. I opened up to her about my dad and how he left. She told me about her mom who passed away when she was younger. She has shown me that I can’t let the whole Christen situation stop me from living my life.

“Do you love me?” I turned towards her as she lifted her head up.

“What do you want?”

“A doughnut.” I laughed slightly, grabbing my phone before turning to exit the room.

“Glazed?”

“Yes please…you’re the best.”

“I know.”

I made my way towards the shop as I contemplated what the next few months would look like. I thought that it would be nice and chill since soccer season is over, but with the call-up to the national team coming into play. Well, I wasn’t getting to fully relax like I wanted to. Everyone flipped out when they found out about my callup. The girls took me out drinking which was an experience. My mom cried on the phone with me when I told her.

Three of my friends got called up to the team alongside me so I felt really good knowing I wasn’t going into it alone. I don’t know what I would do without Tobin, Amy, and Lauren being at camp with me. I feel like my journey in my career so far has featured them heavily and I hope we get to have long careers on the senior team together like we did in the youth teams. Amy was lucky enough to have been called up before as was Lauren, but this would be Tobin’s first camp so I was mainly sticking with her.

I had yet to tell Christen that I got called up. It kind of goes along with the whole not talking to her thing. She was the first person I wanted to call when I found out, but with everything that has happened it just didn’t feel right.

“What’s got you thinking so hard?” I turned towards Tati who gave me an odd look.

“Just how busy the next couple of months are going to be.” I said as she nodded her head.

“Yeah, the call up to the national team is insane.”

“It is.”

“You deserve it though…you’re an incredible player and they are lucky to have you.”

“Thanks Tati.”

“Plus, you get to feel good knowing I am not going to fire you because of how much you won’t be around.”

“Lucky me.” I said sarcastically as she laughed. Our shift seemed to pass by slowly given that most people were gone for Christmas break. I was leaving the next day to go home and I was so looking forward to being back with my family.

The rest of the night continued with me making sure all my stuff was together for when my mom arrived to get me. Blake was planning on leaving the same night as me because ‘being in the dorm by yourself is weird’ and to be honest I can’t argue with that. The next day when my mom arrived, I took a little time to load up the car and introduce my mom and Blake. They seemed to hit it off as I noticed them laughing a lot. They didn’t even offer me any help because they were too busy talking to each other.

“I love your mom.” Blake said as I gave her a look. “You lucked out in that department”

“Yeah, everyone tells me that.” I commented as she grinned at me. We stood for a moment before I gave her a somber look. “So, I’ll see you after break?”

“Yes. I’ll be back before you, but I won’t hold that against you.” I grinned pulling her in for a hug. She groaned slightly before reciprocating the hug.

“I’m gonna miss you.” I admitted as she squeezed me tighter.

“I’ll miss you too. You have my number if you need anything though.” I nodded my head before letting go of her.

“Merry Christmas Blake.”

“Merry Christmas (Y/N)” I gave her a wave before heading towards my mom’s car. We got in and began to drive. It was silent for a little bit until my mom spoke.

“So, Blake seems nice…” I looked at her giving her a confused look before realization dawned on me.

“EW! Gross. No. Hell No!” I said as she laughed. I gave her a disgusted look before responding again. “Blake is like my best friend. There are no feelings there.”

“You said the same thing about Christen.” She defended as I gave her an offended gaze.

“I love Christen. I am actually in love with Christen. I am not in love with Blake.” I said feeling offense at the thought of loving anyone other than Christen.

“How is Christen?”

“Um…I wouldn’t know actually…we haven’t really been talking. Not since the Kelley incident.”

“Didn’t that happen at thanksgiving?”

“Yes.”

“I thought you two made up?”

“We did, but it still isn’t the same. I don’t know. I mean…I am sure we will hangout when we are both on break.”

“I hope so. It would be sad if you two weren’t friends anymore.” I nodded my head along with her knowing that it seemed like torture to ever have to live without the other girl.

The drive felt like forever as we soon made it home hours later. I wasn’t so surprised to find my aunt and grandma at my house as I got big hugs from both of them. My grandma wanted to go out to dinner to celebrate both my coming home and my call up to the national team. I could never decline free food, so I happily accepted.

The next couple days after that were spent sleeping around the house. The laziness in me had really come out as I really only moved to go to the bathroom. Watching tv and texting the girls was how most of the days were spent. I had a little money saved up, so I planned on doing a little Christmas shopping for my family. Since my dad left, our Christmases haven’t really been the same. We used to have these big Christmas parties where all my family on both sides would come over, but after their divorce. It has only been my mom, grandma, and aunt.

I was broken out of my thoughts by a knock on the door. I glanced at the clock noticing that it was only 2:34 pm which meant that it was far too early for anyone to be knocking on my door. I stood walking over and opening it.

“Hey!” Christen beamed as I stared at her in shock for a moment.

“Hi” I said as her smile faltered at my non-enthusiastic response.

“I didn’t know when exactly you were going to be home from school so I thought I would chance it and see if you were here.”

“Yeah…I got back a few days ago.” I responded as she nodded her head. We stood there for a moment before I moved aside to allow her into the home. We went to the living room as I fell back onto the couch. She took a seat in one of the chairs next to the couch as we were both silent. I think we were both trying to figure out what to say.

“Are you happy to be home?” I turned to look at her as I nodded my head.

“Yeah, I missed my family so much. Also, sleeping in my bed just feels better when I am here versus being there at the dorms.” I turned to look back at the tv trying to focus on the show.

“Yeah same…why have you been avoiding me?” My head snapped towards her as she gave me a sad look. “I thought after our conversation at Thanksgiving that things would be better between us, but it still feels like you’re avoiding me.”

“I’m not-” she cut me off with a look as I stared at her. I looked down before continuing. “I don’t know. I thought I was over it, but I guess I am still a little hurt.”

“I don’t think I really expected you to forgive me so easily, but I am really sorry (Y/N).”

“I know.”

Things fell silent again as we both seemed to fall lost in thought. I know it isn’t fair to her to continue holding this against her. She doesn’t know that her dating Kelley and not telling me hurts more than anything else I have ever experienced. She doesn’t know that I wish it was me every single day and it’s not fair for me to continue hurting her because she chose to live her life.

“I’m sorry Christen. It’s not fair to continue being weird about this whole thing….can we just move on from it? I’ll be better I promise.” She moved from her seat to sit on the couch. I sat up and moved my legs, so she had room.

“I don’t want you to just forget about it because you think it’s going to make me feel better…” I stared at her as I sighed. “I lied to you and that wasn’t cool.”

“You didn’t lie.”

“Lying by Omission is still lying.” I stared at her as I shook my head.

“No, it’s fine. Seriously, I just want things to go back to the way they were before.” She nodded her head as I opened my arms for a hug. She didn’t hesitate to hug me as I enjoyed the feeling of her in my arms.

When we pulled away, she gave me a genuine smile. I smiled back as she leaned back on the arm of the couch and brought her feet up to tuck between me and the couch. I leaned back against the other arm as I let my feet hang on the side.

“You really stay invading my personal space…” I commented as she laughed. I grinned as I moved the pillow to settle on top of her feet. We both continued watching tv for a little bit before she decided it was time for us to catch up.

“I won’t even talk about Kelley.” She said as I shook my head.

“No, it’s not a proper catch-up if you don’t say everything.” I said as she nodded her head.

“Okay. Well, it has been great…” she then proceeded to go on for a little while about how great Kelley is and how much she likes her.

“So…like are you in love?” I asked as she seemed to think for a moment before shaking her head.

“I wouldn’t say I am there…or that I could ever get there with her…” she responded as I nodded my head. “It’s fun. That’s what it is supposed to be is fun. I don’t really think either of us are looking for something super serious. I think we are just enjoying each other’s company for now.”

“That’s…awesome.” I said as she smiled.

“What about you?” I was responding to a text from Alex as I looked up at her.

“What about me?”

“Has anyone caught your eye?”

“No. I have too much going on to date anyone right now.” Unless, it’s you.

“What do you have going on?” she asked as I stared at her with confusion before remembering she doesn’t know about the call-up.

“Shit! That’s right. I did not tell you. I got a call up to the senior national team.” Her eyes widened as she surged forward to hug me. I grinned and laughed at her reaction before having an internal meltdown at the fact that she was basically in my lap.

“How could you not tell me?” she had her hands on my shoulders as she hovered above me beaming with excitement.

“Well…” I was at a loss for words partly because she knows why we weren’t talking and partly because she is extremely close to me. She seemed to catch my awkwardness a little because she backed off and fell back onto her side of the couch. I let out a little sigh of relief as she smiled at me.

“Right. Well, I am so proud of you. I knew a call-up was coming for you. When is the camp?”

“January.” I responded as she nodded her head.

“I can’t wait to cheer you on. I knew you would make it. I never doubted you.”

“That means a lot.” I said as she grinned at me.

The rest of the day was spent hanging out together. Things were slowly going back to normal and I was grateful for that. I didn’t like being in an awkward position with her. It didn’t feel good. The following weeks were spent doing my Christmas shopping and hanging out with Christen. I figured out a new form of torture was listening to her talk about Kelley. I was torn between being a good friend and wanting to rip my hair out. I usually would text like Blake or Alex during those conversations. They were a good distraction from the pain.

Christmas had come and gone before we were bringing in the new year. Christen had been invited to a party with Kelley and so our usual plans for a movie marathon during the new year was axed out and that was fine. It was a major bummer to not spend it with her, but I respected that she had other plans. Luckily for me, I had also managed to get invited to go out for the night.

Alex came through with the invite to a New Years Party. I was hesitant to accept at first because I definitely wouldn’t know anyone, but she seemed excited and I found it difficult to say no to her when she gets excited like that. That would be where I currently am at the moment.

“I appreciate you going with me.” Alex said from the passenger seat as I looked over at her.

“Yeah no problem…I didn’t really have anything else going on.”

“Still….you didn’t have to.” She said as I smiled at her.

“Seriously…it’s no big deal.”

Once we arrived, Alex immediately started introducing me to all of her friends from high school. They all seemed cool enough and accepted me for the night. I stayed pretty close to Alex since she was the only one, I really knew. The house we were at was pretty nice. As the night continued on, I got separated from Alex and decided to go find some air. I found a place of solitude on a balcony overlooking the backyard and the view had a pretty good view of a festival that wasn’t too far away.

“Hey…” I turned to see the forward coming out onto the balcony. She had two drinks in her hand as she handed me one.

“Hey yourself.” I said as she gave me a smile.

“What are you doing out here by yourself?” she questioned as I looked to the sky. It was a nice night and I was thankful that I hadn’t stayed in.

“Just needed some air. Big parties aren’t usually my thing.” I admitted as she laughed.

“You and Blake are so alike.” She grinned as I shook my head.

“Sorry we would rather enjoy a night in.” Her smile widened at my confession. “I’m actually glad I came tonight. I feel like I’ve been in a slump and it was nice to get out.”

“Well, then I am glad I could help you out of your slump.”

“Yeah…thanks!” she gave me a smile before turning back towards the party. “Seriously, I usually spend new year’s watching movies with a friend, and I guess I never really knew what I was missing…”

“It’s not about what you’re necessarily missing…you should spend your time doing what you want. You said it yourself. Parties aren’t really your thing and that’s okay.”

“Still…I had only one person in high school that I really was okay being friends with and so most of my time was spent with her. All my traditions spent with her and I never really experienced the whole going out thing all the time.”

“Well, I don’t go out all the time. I like to for certain occasions. This is definitely one of them.”

“I wish I was as much of a risk taker as you are.”

“I don’t. I like your laid-back personality. You’re the chill I need in my life.” She joked as I grinned. “Plus, you work hard for what you want and with the call up to the senior team…I have a feeling it’s all about to pay off for you.”

“Maybe. I still have a lot of respect for you Alex Morgan.” I smiled at her as she stared at me shaking her head.

“Keep playing and I might just make you my new years kiss.” I laughed at her as a thought came to mind.

“I don’t really think I would mind if you were my new year’s kiss, but um…speaking of kissing…have you talked to Tati at all?”

“Ha-ha very funny. Actually, we have been talking a lot more lately and I have been really enjoying it. I’m not going to lie. I think I might be in love with her.”

“Oh, you used the L word…it must be super serious.”

“Don’t make fun of me you dick…” I grinned, shaking my head as she continued whining.

“I’m not. I am genuinely happy for you! I think it’s great that you’re in love. You should go for it!” I said as she gave me a nervous smile.

“You think so?”

“Yeah for sure…” I offered her a supportive smile

“I just don’t know if she feels the same…”

“Alex…she would be crazy not to. You’re an amazing person. Anyone would be lucky to have you by their side.”

“You really mean that?”

“Of course, I do! You are genuinely one of the most amazing people I have had the privilege of knowing.”

“It’s amazing that you don’t have a girlfriend with how sweet you are.” She commented as I shrugged my shoulders.

“I guess we will never know.” I took a sip of my drink as she laughed. We spent a little while longer listening to the music of the party and talking before we could hear the countdown begin. Usually, Christen and I would be together for the countdown and we would try to time a dramatic moment in a movie to match the new year, but obviously that wasn’t going to be happening this year.

“Can I just say…I am really glad I get to spend the New Year with you.” I said as she grinned at me.

“Me too.” We heard the countdown reach one before the fireworks went off. We watched them and continued sharing stories with each other before she offered me a toast.

“To hopefully a kickass year.”

“To a kickass year.” I said as she grinned at me. We headed back down to the party to rejoin everyone else and continue having a good time.

We stayed for a little while longer before leaving. I didn’t really drink because I wanted to make sure she got home safely. Her family was nice enough to let me stay the night with them due to how dangerous the roads could be at this time. The days following New Years were wild due to having to get ready for my first senior camp. I was extremely nervous as I was constantly texting Cheney, Amy, and Tobin about what I should be packing.

Before I knew it, it was time to leave for camp. The camp was being held only twenty minutes from my house so that was a relief that I wasn’t having to travel too far. Amy was going to be the first out of my friends to get there since she also lived in California. Tobin was coming from Jersey and Cheney from Indianapolis so it would take them some time.

Hours later saw me sitting in my room with the girls as we caught up with each other about our holidays. We had about half an hour before we had to report for the team meeting, so I was taking the time to try to stay as relaxed as possible.

“How were your holidays?” I focused back in as the three stared at me expectantly.

“Boring. I didn’t really do much.” I admitted as they all gave me a look.

“Well, that’s a bummer.” Tobin said as I nodded my head.

“You didn’t do anything fun?” I shook my head as Cheney rolled her eyes.

“I’m going to call your mom and ask her.” Amy said as I gave her a confused look

“You have my mom’s number?”

“No. I would just call off your phone…”

“oh.”

“Idiot.” Tobin joked as we decided to get up and head down to the meeting.

When we walked into the room, it seemed somewhat tense which caused me to look around in confusion. There was something off, but I couldn’t quite place it. I didn’t notice that the other three had left me standing by myself before I noticed I was alone. I jumped slightly when I felt a hand on my shoulder. I tried not to internally scream as I came face to face with Christie Rampone. She gave me a smile as Kate Markgraf came up from behind her.

“You must be one of the rookies!” Kate said as I nodded my head.

Yeah. I’m (Y/N) Torres!” I held out my hand as they both smiled. They shook my hand as Christie seemed to think for a moment.

“Left back right?” I nodded my head as she grinned. “Great!”

“I love when defenders get added to the team.” Kate said as I laughed.

“Come on. You can have a seat with us.” I followed them taking a seat next to them and Heather Mitts. I was surrounded by some incredible defenders and I was having a hard time not losing my shit. Behind me sat my other three friends who had been joined by Ali Krieger and Heather O’Reilly. Tobin gave me a wide-eyed look as I nodded my head. We were both a little starstruck.

Once I sat down though, I noticed why the room had seemed so tense. It was obvious that not many people were making an effort to sit with Hope Solo. I would be an idiot to not know about the drama that had gone on at the last world cup. There were many conflicting stories about what happened afterwards, but the message that not everyone was pleased with the goalkeeper was loud and clear at this moment.

I stared at her for a moment noticing Carli sitting next to her before turning my head towards Pia who had just entered the room. The team meeting seemed to go by quickly as we talked about camp expectations and what she wanted to see from the team. She seemed to emphasize that she didn’t care about team drama and that she was focused on putting out the best team to get the best results which was something I respected.

After the meeting, we had about half an hour to get our stuff together before we would go for our first training session. Tobin and I had already agreed to be bus buddies because we didn’t know anyone else. Though, we were given advice from HAO to wait until everyone else got on the bus to figure out which seats weren’t taken. HAO also said that we needed to not be afraid during the practice session because no one else was going to go easy on us.

The training session seemed to come and go, and I felt good about my performance. Kate and Christie both seemed impressed with me. So did Pia which was a great feeling. My highlight of the session came when I was able to lock down Abby Wambach which was the most surreal feeling in the world. She is one of the best forwards in the world and I successfully managed to stop her attack.

The rest of the day was pretty chill and ended with us hanging out with some of the vets. We had got dinner with them and they seemed to like me which was a major plus. I know that off-field chemistry is just as important as on-field chemistry, so I needed to make a good impression with them.

“With your skills, I am seriously surprised that Berkeley didn’t make it farther in the season…” Abby said as I shrugged my shoulders.

“I can only do so much in the defense. Our forwards are incredible though. It just happened to be an unlucky season.” I said shrugging my shoulders as they all nodded their heads.

“Still you have a lot of great skills and the potential to grow is there.” Christie said as I grinned at her.

“Thank you! That means a lot.”

I headed back to my room with Tobin and them as I tried not to freak out from the excitement of the day.

“The vets really seem to like you.” Amy said, giving me a slightly impressed look.

“Probably because she almost killed Abby during practice.” Tobin said with an amused look as I shrugged

“I was doing my job.” I laid down on my bed as I looked over at them.

“Exactly why they like you.” Lauren said as I nodded my head. They both then said goodnight leaving me and Tobin there. We didn’t stay up much longer as we knew the next few days would be hectic, and sleep would be a necessity.

The next morning, we got down to breakfast as we made our plates, we looked around for a place to sit. I noticed some empty seats next to Hope and Carli as I moved to make my way over towards them. We were intercepted by Kate though who brought us towards a table with her and some of the others.

“That would have been a mistake.” She said to me as I stared at her.

“Sitting with Hope?” Tobin asked as I noticed some of the other girls get uncomfortable looks on their faces.

“Yeah. We typically try not to sit with people who throw their teammates under the bus.” She responded as I stared at her.

“Okay I get that.” Tobin responded as I nodded my head. I looked over where she was sitting noticing that truly everyone minus Carli was avoiding that table like the plague.

I couldn’t help but feel bad for the goalkeeper. It probably didn’t feel good to have everyone being rude to you and not talking to you in these kinds of moments. The next couple days I felt my interest in Hope continue rising as I felt the need to get to know the goalkeeper.

“Hey, we got invited to go to dinner with some of the other girls. You up for it?” Tobin asked as I thought about it before shaking my head.

“I’m not really feeling it.” I lied as she nodded her head. “You guys go without me. I think I am just going to chill here.”

“Okay text us and maybe we can bring you something back.”

“Okay.” I said as she turned to leave with Lauren and Amy. I waited a few minutes before exiting the room and walking towards the goalkeeper’s room. I knocked on the door and waited until it was pulled open.

“Hey” I said as Hope stood there giving me an odd look.

“Hi”

“I was just wondering if you wanted to hangout.” I said cautiously as she raised an eyebrow at me.

“What are you doing here kid?”

“I want to…hangout?”

“Why?” she gave me a skeptical look as I tried to come up with something that didn’t make me sound stupid.

“I don’t really know to be honest. I just…wanted to get to know you. I like to be friends with my teammates.”

“I am almost positive you’ve been given the warning on being friends with me.”

“I have and I don’t really care.” She gave me a surprised look as I continued. “I am not going to let them decide who I can and can’t be friends with and I want to be your friend. I have a lot of respect for you.”

“Come on in.”

I followed her into the room where she and Carli were hanging out. The following hours were actually a ton of fun as she seemed to open up with me just a little bit. It was mainly stories about the stupidest things we have done during a game.

“I swear…I didn’t see her coming.” I laughed as Hope and Carli gave me amused smiles.

“Did she at least score the penalty?” Hope asked as I shook my head. They both laughed at the answer.

“No, she didn’t…I felt really bad because I tripped her, and she didn’t score, and I was definitely responsible for the horrible game she was having.” This only seemed to cause them to laugh harder as I tried to keep my own composure.

“Jesus, I haven’t laughed like that in a while. I can definitely see why the other vets like you.” Carli said as I nodded my head.

“You’re their new favorite.” Hope gave me a look as I shrugged. “They like your style. You play without fear and you seem to be a natural leader.”

“I just play my game…” I said honestly causing me to earn smiles from both girls. I soon departed and headed back to my room feeling like I had made a successful connection with both players. When I entered my room, I found Tobin and them who all looked a little worried.

“Thank god! Where were you?” Amy asked as I stared at them with a confused look.

“Chill out. I went to go hangout with Hope.”

“Wait…what?” Tobin asked as I looked at them.

“What?”

“Didn’t Kate say to stay away from her?” Tobin gave me a look as I sighed. “I mean…I know you like to beat by your own drum, but she is the captain of the team.”

“Tobin’s right. You just got here. Now is not the time to be making waves.” Amy said as I stared at them.

“No one deserves to be shunned or abandoned.” I said as Lauren gave me a sympathetic look. She was the only one of the three who knew about my dad and how he had walked away from me.

“Let’s just let it go.” She said, grabbing Amy’s arm. “We can talk more tomorrow.”

“You’re crazy.” Tobin said as I rolled my eyes.

“What else is new?”

The next day we went down for breakfast as I quickly made my plate. Tobin had beelined it for the table we had been sitting at with the vets as I eyed the table with Hope and Carli. I moved towards the table with the vets before making my way towards Carli and Hope. They both seemed a little surprised by my presences but smiled when I sat down. A glance at the other tables told me my decision had shocked everyone. I didn’t know if my eyes were deceiving me but there seemed to be a few looks of respect from certain players as I continued my conversation with Hope.

I didn’t miss how unenthusiastic Kate was about me after that. Though, she was the only one who really seemed to treat me differently. Or at least to my face she was the only one to treat me differently.

“I think you’re making a mistake.” Amy said as I looked at her.

“What are you talking about?”

“Look, I don’t doubt Hope is an amazing person, but you just got on this team. Do you really think putting your reputation on the line like this is worth it?”

“I love your concern for me, but it’s my own choice. Hope is a great person and you guys would know that if you got to know her a little better. I’m not saying we are best friends, but she is a good teammate and a good friend.”

I went back to doing my homework as Amy continued nagging me about putting distance between Hope and I. Lauren and Tobin eventually got her to back off a little as I finished up my assignments.

By the end of the camp, I had managed to start in two of the three games during the Four Nations Tournament. I was a sub for the third game, but I was proud of getting some playing time. My debut came against Canada, which was a rough and physical game, but Christie had praised me afterwards for holding my own against them.

I hated to admit that I was somewhat relieved to be going home after the tournament because I didn’t want to deal with the drama that came with simply being friends with someone. The ride home was long since we were coming back from a foreign country. I only had like two days to get all my stuff and get back to the dorms, but that didn’t stop my family from taking me to dinner to celebrate my first caps.

“I’m going to miss you.” My mom said as we pulled into the parking lot next to my dorm.

“I’ll miss you too.” I said as she gave me a sad look.

“My baby is all grown up.”

“Mom” I complained as she laughed. We said our goodbyes before I grabbed my bags and headed up to my room.

It took me a little longer because I did have so much stuff, but the room was empty when I got back. I know Blake was in her classes and wouldn’t be back for another hour, so I had time to settle all my stuff. I laid down enjoying the quiet for a few minutes before deciding to take a shower and get comfortable. By the time I was finishing up my hair, I heard the door be opened.

“Well look what we have here…” I said as Blake turned and gave me a wide-eyed look. She then practically tackled me into a hug as I reciprocated.

“I thought you weren’t going to be back until tomorrow?” she asked as I gave her a confused look.

“No, I am back today!” I said with a giant grin as she hugged me tighter.

“Dude you have no idea how much I missed you.”

“I missed you too.”

We decided to go for some food for dinner which was fun before we stopped by the coffee shop to get some pastries.

“Holy shit.” Katie said coming over and giving me a hug. “You’re back”

“I’m back” I said as she smiled at me.

“(Y/N)!” I turned just in time to catch Alex who had quite literally tackled me into a hug. I grinned holding the forward close as she held on tight to me. “I missed you”

“I missed you too”

“oh my god! You have three caps with the national team!” she said, giving me an excited look.

“Oh my god! I know!” I grinned as she laughed.

“Well, if it isn’t my favorite employee.” I turned and smiled at Tati who reached behind her and then handed me a piece of paper with my schedule on it. “Welcome back”

“Thanks.” I said with a slight grimace as I stared at my schedule.

“I’ll change it when you get called up again.”

“Okay.” I said as I continued talking and filling everyone in on what camp was like.

The next few days were spent getting back into my routing of school. I had spent a few hours each day talking to Christen which was nice. She was so excited to hear about my time on the national team and I tried to give her as much detail as possible without spilling all the drama out to her. She in turn told me about how Kelley and she were officially just a friends with benefits deal because there weren’t really any feelings involved anymore. I wasn’t thrilled but it was better than them being in a relationship. Things were finally going back to normal which I couldn’t be more grateful for.

“Are you even listening to me?” I turned towards Tati as I shook my head.

“Honestly, No. I am so tired.” I said as she rolled her eyes at me.

“Aren’t we all?” I nodded my head a little earning a smile from her.

“Well, now that I kind of have your attention I want to tell you about this date I went on recently…”

“Date?” I gave her a look as she gave me a confused expression. “Who did you go on a date with?”

“That guy from my sociology class? You don’t remember? I told you about him a while ago.”

“No, I…I just thought there was something with you and Alex…” I said as she gave me a look.

“Look, I know she’s your friend…and she is super cool. I love Alex to death, and I know she has a huge crush on me. She isn’t really trying to hide it, but it’s probably never going to happen. She’s sweet and all, but not what I am looking for right now.”

“Tati…if you know then why haven’t you said that to her? Like, you say you know she likes you then why not tell her that? Cause like…now it just looks like your stringing her along…”

“I’m not. I just don’t want to hurt her feelings.”

“It’s going to happen regardless though and the longer you wait the worse it will hurt.” I said as she frowned at me.

“You’re right and I will tell her eventually.” She said as a customer came to the counter earning Tati’s full attention. I stood there for a moment having an internal debate with whether I should talk to Alex or not.

On one hand, it’s not my business. On the other hand, Alex is one of my closest friends and I would feel terrible about her getting hurt. That seemed to be the debate going on in my head for a while as the weeks continued. Tati swore up and down that she was going to talk to Alex, so I tried not to think too much about it.

I tried to focus on other things like the national team. I hadn’t been called into the February training camp due to my school schedule but had been told that I would be going to the Algarve cup in March. I was ecstatic because it was another major opportunity to prove myself and to prove that I belonged on the international stage.

I had left school about four days before the tournament would start. The tournament felt like a breeze and I was trying not to get cocky but from what I was hearing I was definitely making a good case for myself for the Olympics. Hope had told me that if I got invited to the Olympic Qualifying tournament and got playing time during it that I had a good chance of making the Olympic roster which is what I had started to work for since my call up in January.

Returning to school after winning the Algarve Cup was a dream, Alex had begged me for all the details which I had given up willingly because I knew how badly she wanted to be called up. I had learned pretty quickly that Tati still hadn’t told her about her feelings which made me feel bad again.

“This party isn’t just any party. It’s the party before spring break which means none of us have anything to lose.” Katie argued as I stared at her with an incredulous look.

“You hear yourself, right?” Blake asked as I laughed.

“Come on! We all need to go! What better way to celebrate life then to go get drunk!”

“I don’t see that logic.” I admitted as she frowned at me.

“Alex help me…”

“It’s going to be fun.” Alex said as I laughed.

“That’s very convincing.” She grinned at me as I sighed. “Okay. I’ll go.”

“No!” Blake said as Katie jumped up.

“Yes! Come on Blake…”

“No.”

“Come on.” I said as she turned towards me. “It could be fun.”

She stared at me for a moment before rolling her eyes.

“Fine.” I smiled as Katie and Alex high fived each other. “I hate you.”

“No, you don’t.” she rolled her eyes as I smiled at Alex and Katie. This should be an interesting night.

Alex POV SWITCH

I watched (Y/N) and Blake bicker over whether it was a good idea to come to the party as we walked our way towards the destination. I laughed when Blake reached out to smack (Y/N) only to be blocked by Katie.

“You’re complaining about nothing!” (Y/N) said laughing at Blake. “This could be the best night of your life and you��re over here complaining.”

“I hate going out. You know this.”

“It’s not bad to come out of your shell every once in a while.”

They continued bickering as Katie eventually gave up and kept pace with me letting them walk ahead of us.

“So, how are you feeling about tonight?” I turned towards Katie who gave me a supportive smile.

“I am incredibly nervous.” I admitted as my roommate gave me a sympathetic look.

“Look, you just have to march in there and give her the most seductive look you can and tell her that you belong together, but you know in a more put together way.”

“That’s really helpful.” I said as she gave me a bright smile.

“It’s going to work out and who knows…if it doesn’t there are a ton of other people here to hook up with.”

“That does not make me feel better.” I said as she shrugged her shoulders.

We arrived at the party which was in full swing. Katie didn’t hesitate to walk in as (Y/N) stood watching with an amused smile as Blake groaned entering the building. I laughed following them in and looked around at the mostly drunken crowd. We got drinks and danced. I played a couple rounds of beer pong with Katie as my partner before I decided I had enough. I went back into the house and noticed that quite a bit of time had passed. I noticed Blake actually seemed to be having a good time which was great. I was hoping she would have a good time. I spotted (Y/N) talking with some people as I made my way over towards her.

“Hey stranger.”

“Hey yourself.” She smiled as I grinned at her.

“Are you having fun?”

“I am actually…I haven’t had fun like this in a hot second.”

“I’m glad. I was worried.”

“You don’t need to worry about me Alex.” She said as I shook my head.

“I care about you. Obviously, I will worry.”

She laughed as she looked down at her phone that was in her hand. I glanced around noticing Tati talking with some people as I decided that this was the moment.

“Hey, I got to take this.” She said as I nodded my head turning to exit the room.

I took a big drink of the cup in my hand before walking over to where Tati was. She smiled upon seeing me as I tried to get closer to her.

“Hey!” I yelled over the music as she gave me a grin.

“Hey!” she yelled back. I spent a few minutes dancing with her before deciding that I needed to just do it.

“Can I talk to you?” she nodded her head as we went to where it was a little quieter.

“What’s up?” she asked as I stared at her.

“Okay so…I need to tell you something.” I said as she gave me a cautious look.

“Alex wait…”

“No, I just need to get this out…” I said as she gave me a look I couldn’t read. “Since I met you, I have thought you’re incredible. You make me laugh and smile. My heart beats really fast when I am around you and I think about you all the time. I don’t want to ruin our friendship, but I feel like I might die if I don’t tell you that I am completely in love with you Tati.”

She gave me a sad look as I felt my stomach drop a little. I didn’t like that look. She looked around a little before letting out a little sigh. There seemed to be something close to sympathy in her eyes as she looked down and then back up.

“Alex…I think you’re an incredible person.” I felt my eyes begin to water as I recognized the beginning words of a rejection. I looked away from her as she reached for my hand. “I just don’t think…”

“No, it’s okay. I am so stupid for even mentioning this to you. I shouldn’t have done that. Don’t worry. It’s stupid and I…I’m just going to go.” I turned to leave the house as I felt Tati reach for my arm which I angrily yanked away.

(Y/N) POV SWITCH

“Yeah, I will have to catch you up when I see you next.” I said, smiling as Christens laugh came through the phone.

“Yeah, I should be going though for real…Kelley is waiting.”

“Well, we don’t want that…” I said somewhat sarcastically. “Goodbye Christen.”

“Bye.” I put my phone in my pocket as I sighed. Christen and Kelley deciding to try a relationship again has most definitely ruined my night. I turned to head back into the house when the door flew open and out came a sobbing Alex.

“Alex please wait…!” Tati yelled running after her as I immediately stepped into Alex’s path catching her. She went to push me away but stopped when she saw it was me.

“Hey” I said softly as she angrily tried to wipe her tears. “What happened?”

“Alex please…” Tati begged as I took a second to read the situation. I sighed pulling Alex in for a hug as I sent a glare towards Tati. She frowned as Alex held onto me tightly.

“I didn’t mean to…”

“It doesn’t matter.” I said as Alex buried her head into my shoulder. “It’s done. I’ll get her home.”

I moved to start walking Alex towards our rooms as I continued to let her cry. She seemed to calm down the further we got from the party. She was just silent by the time we reached her room. She opened the door as I stared at her. She walked over towards her bed and sat down leaning against the wall. I moved to sit next to her as we sat quietly.

“Do you want to talk about it?” I asked as she sniffled a little.

“I am such an idiot.” She said as I looked at her.

“No, you’re not.” I said as she nodded her head.

“Yes, I am…I should have seen that she didn’t feel the same way.”

“Anyone can make that mistake Alex…” I said as she looked at me.

“I should have seen it.”

“It doesn’t make you stupid. It just means you have a big heart…and that you are a risk taker. You put yourself out there and it didn’t work out. You know sometimes it just doesn’t work out.”

“I wanted it to work so badly.”

“I know.” I said taking her hand in mine. “For what’s it's worth, I am so proud of you.” We sat in silence for a few minutes before she spoke.

“Have you ever been in love?” I held my breath for a moment as I thought of a reply.

“I have…” I said as she looked at me.

“What happened?”

“I couldn’t find the courage to tell her that I loved her and now she is with someone else who is making her happy.”

“I’m sorry.” Alex mumbled as I shook my head.

“Don’t be. I would rather she be happy with someone else than not be happy at all. All I care about is the smile on her face. As long as it’s there…well I’m happy.”

“Even if you can never be with her…” I looked down at that as I thought about it…

“Even if I can never be with her…” I said, turning to look at Alex who was already focused on me.

“I wish getting your heart broke didn’t suck so bad.”

“I know.” I said bringing my hand up to away a tear that was falling from her eye. “My mom always used to tell me that getting your heart broken was necessary sometimes…because it means that when you do find the person you're supposed to be with…you appreciate them that much more. I promise you Alex…you will get through this. You have a heart of gold and you are so freaking beautiful. It is truly insane. Anyone would be lucky to get to be with you and when you find the person you are meant to be with you won’t remember how much it hurt to get your heart broken.”

She stared at me for a moment before surging forward and attaching her lips to mine. Her hands came up to my face as I was too shocked to move. She pulled back breathing heavily as I stared at her for a moment. It was as if time stood still before I moved forward catching her lips into another kiss.

I pushed her back slightly as she laid down pulling me on top of her. Her legs wrapped around my waist holding me in place as I placed kisses down her jaw and to her neck. Her hands were gripping the back of my shirt as she pulled at it. I sat up and pulled my shirt off as she quickly discarded hers as well. I hovered above her as her lips stayed inches from mine.

“Are you sure about this?”

“Yes.”

To Be Continued…

#uswnt imagine #uswnt imagines #USWNT #christen press imagine #christen press imagines #christen press #alex morgan imagine #Alex Morgan #alex morgan imagines

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kyunsies · 4 years

Text

things i love + appreciate about my closest moots 💖 (obviously no particular order bc you all hold such a special place in my heart)

i was going to wait and post this when i hit 400 followers but that has passed and i wasn't ready in time and i didn’t really know when to post this ;; so i’m just going to do it now to remind everyone that it is truly a blessing to be here in your presence :) i don’t want to get mushy ALREADY sdlkfjsd but pls know you all mean so much to me <33

@theyoungflexer — my person, my rock, chelle you’re super special!! we have such a quirky relationship that somehow works extremely well; idk how but i had this feeling from the moment we spoke with each other i was like “omg this gal is so funky and sweet!!” i was really excited to get to know you, and we’ve talked everyday without FAIL since we became moots :) v grateful for you chelle, you’re my home girl!! (even tho we live across the states hehe) 💘💗 also i just respect you on so many levels like the way you just attend one of the most amazing colleges in the US and is thriving?? not to mention your equally as smart brother also going to an amazing college too???????? speechless. ALSO BIG SHOUT OUT BC you are also the reason for inspiring me to start giffing so,,,,,,literally wouldn’t be here without you GOD chelle i’m so mushy for you :’((((

@softhyungkyun — 1/2 of my mom friends!!! my monmomma, my calming energy in this chaotic world!! victoria, my sweet vic how i love u so!! not to mention the BEST canadabebe around 😘 truly don’t know what i would do without you hun!! do u know how special u are to me?? how much i loved ur lil bunny pics whenever u went on a run; your CONSTANT surveillance of my many typos; and most importantly your scalding of me whenever i show my ~alter ego nasty mädch who is a simp for kyun~ (huh?? who said that, certainly not me!!) i literally look up to you in so many ways, and i’m glad i have someone like you in my life 💗💘💖

@ckyunoirs — you’ve all seen it coming but my actual soulmate!! the best kyun soulmate ever 🥺 i honestly can’t remember how we became moots LOL but i just know i thought you seemed like an absolute sweetheart (which you are) and i was so nervous to talk to you!! i was like “ah omg she has so many anons and everyone associates her w kyun i would like to be at that level” but look at us now!!! we really do share the same (thirsting for kyun always 🤝) braincell and i love that i can tell you what’s on my mind always!! you are such a nurturing soul suni, always stressing how important it is to take care of ourselves 🤧 angel behavior i think!! i don’t even have to elaborate anymore bc i think (i hope) you know truly how much you mean to me suni!!!!! thank you for being such a great friend <33

@memehyungwon — nessa!!! my love whom i get extremely excited about whenever i see your name pop up in my inbox 🥺🥺 get yourself a nessa!!!! so sweet, so supportive, so kind, and just all around LOVELY LOVELY LOVELY!! the cutest, my emotional support bub really 💘💗💖💓💞 so much love for you, plus you’re a multi-talented queen with the moodboards + edits like hello you are LEGENDARY!!! also a multistan extraordinaire, what more could u ask for?? aaaand you call me your “cariño mio” like.......,,shush i’m sobbing just thinking of it 🥺

@pansynight — i think ezra is a fallen angel I SAID IT!!! srsly THE most supportive, trustworthy, and down to earth person in the whole wide world. such a hard worker i mean moodboards, audio edits, writing on the side sometimes, AND gifmaking???????? incredible!!! and is just as a hopeless romantic as i am (cue us crying over how much we love Love together,,,,,i need a moment 😭)!! one friend who i can feel totally comfortable + stripped down with 💙💙 did i already say supportive bc ezra is the Most Supportive Bub if you didn’t already catch that 🥺

@sohcean — bee!!!! a fairly recent moot but one i love very much nonetheless!!!! i looked up to you a lot akdbdjdkjdb like you were one of my “it” monsta x blogs imo hehe but i remember i tagged you in a post where an anon asked me who my fav blogs were and 🥺🥺 you sent me an ask something along the lines of “ty v much i’m glad we’re moots now!!” AND WHEN I TELL YOU!!! i was crying 😭😭😭 anyways, always checks in on me once in a while and you’re always super duper sweet and caring (and thank you for submitting sweet kyun pics occasionally; they are SO desperately needed);; plus you are so extremely eloquent with your writing -- when you post something particularly long i kinda just space out into dreamland bc you just take me to another place with your words omg *chefs kiss* love ya hun!!! 💙💜💙💜💙

@burnitupmp3 — ah ADRY!!! honestly i was really scared to talk to you too for some reason DJFLSDJ but i think that’s bc you’re so extremely hilarious :’) but now that we are certified CLINGMATES 🥺 i literally thank my lucky stars for you everyday :( always and i mean ALWAYS supporting not only me but all of your other moots too ITS SO AMAZING TO SEE!!!!!! never being shy and always starting a conversation with everyone like i’m starting to get the feeling that maybe you DO in fact know every monbebe on this site HEHE but!!!!! grateful for you, if there is one singular constant on tumblr it's you and you're humor, kindness, individuality 💘💗 1/3 of my joobebes, but my ONLY rujoobebe :’) alSO TY FOR FEEDING ME J.SEPH CONTENT <33

@minhyukie — LISTEN if you don’t follow amy you’re missing oUT!!!! but srsly amy i’m going to get really mushy on you jfsdlkfj 🥺🥺 i’ve been following you ever since i made this blog in january (obvi bc u make High Quality content) and i just need to get this off my chest but when u popped in my messages telling me what i was doing wrong in ps about the smart object thing I LITERALLY SCREAMED I JUMPED OUT OF MY SEAT I MESSAGED @theyoungflexer AND WAS LIKE OMG OMG OMG AMY JUST TALKED TO ME!!!!!!!!! jeez like i was so embarrassingly excited :’D !!! man, am i SO happy we are moots <33 the best minbebe around, always providing me with advice and so many resources,,,not to mention we kinda (??) live relatively close-ish to each other so that’s also very cool LOL but srsly!!! amy you are such a backbone for the mbb community here and i look up to you SO much,,,smooches to u 💘💗

@leejooheons — aj!!! 2/3 of my joobebes!!! we are only recently moots but much like amy, i’ve been following you since the beginning of my blog’s existence!! gosh i look up to you in sooooo many ways and again LIKE AMY when i finally found the courage to talk to you i kinda freaked out when you responded LOL !! your gifs are absolutely AMAZING STUNNNG WONDERFUL; you inspire me to really improve my skills, and you always always ALWAYS give me such helpful advice all the time when i don’t even ask for it :( if anything i can't imagine how annoying it is to see me complain about all of my ps troubles but you still take time out of your day to always give me the best tips ever. and for that??? i’m SUPER grateful for all that you do for not only me but for monbebe tumblr too !!! 💘💗

@chaelight — fern!! my other resourceful monbebe moot 🥺 even though we don’t talk all the time, you, like aj, are always providing me with such amazing content advice!!! seriously idk why you all are so incredibly nice to me it’s so touching 😭 and just like bee, you also give me such a calming vibe; you’re just an overall delight to see on my dash because your content is SO well thought out too <33 love you fern!!

@joosgf — lulu!!! 3/3 of my joobebes who also takes the time to tag me in kyun content 🥺 we do not message often but :( omg you’re such a freaking cutie :( i knew i wanted to be your friend when i found your blog bc 1) everyone loves u and 2) you are so incredibly nice <33 i really hope we get to grow closer in the future!! you are so supportive even though we aren't close, and just know that you can always come to me for anything!! also i just love your adoration for our joober it’s SO SWEET, i love to see you geek about him bc it really is the cutest thing <33

@haoranghae — jill!!!!!!! my eastern standard time pal!!!!!!! <33 honestly i think you're the only moot where i DONT have to think about you being asleep while i’m up bc i know we’re on the same time schedule :’) my multifandom buddy who shares my love for victon and honestly a lot of other groups too!! surprisingly we don’t message often but like, i feel like when we DO talk we always pick up where we left off, if that makes sense? i always feel at home talking with you <33 and you’re so freaking SUPPORTIVE always saying nice things and going out of your way once in a while to pop in the inbox!! jill dear you are such a joy, thank you for being you 🥺

@morkyun — carly my sweet angel!!! one of my most precious fellow kyunbebes!!!! idk why you’re so darn SWEET TO ME!! just the sweetest; always asking how i’m doing, always crying over changkyun with me, always participating in ask games sdkjflskdfjslkf how can i ask for anything more than you?? super DUPER grateful to have u in my life, literally such a blessing <33 AND U HAVE ME IN YOUR BIO <33 IM MELTING PLS I FREAKING LOVE U!!!

@hohyuk — everyone LISTEN UP AS A TALK ABOUT ONE OF MY FAVORITE PEOPLE IN THE WHOLE WIDE WORLD!!!!!! my ma, 2/2 of the mom friends!! you aren’t as active as you were when i first started to talk to you (bc u are a wonderful working WOMAN) but gosh, you made such an impact on me ma :( you are such a caring and nurturing person like the only way i can describe you is motherly :( i remember we would always talk about our days + weekends bc we never really messaged a lot HOWEVER we would always touch base at the end of the week and catch up!! although we don’t talk that often anymore, i want you to know that you will always have a special place in my heart for being exceptionally kind to me 💘💗 and for that i am forever thankful for you ma!! love you!!

@kihyunsgf — kass my cutie patootie!!! we have been moots for a long time it feels!! ( i mean long for me since i’ve one been here since january lol) but you are such an amazing monbebe friend!!! we don’t really private message each other but it seems like we always participate in each other’s ask games so it’s always fun to get to know a little bit more about each other every time we ask questions!! you always reblog not only my work, but every other content creator moots’ works too and i just think you are an extremely supportive friend in general <33 thank you for always being so approachable and warm, and i hope we only grow closer as time goes on 💘💗

@kkyuns — okay aminah OMG so,,,,,,,,,idk if you even want me to consider you a moot yet or anything but 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 can i pls be your moot LOL srsly 🥺🥺🥺🥺 and if you don’t feel comfortable that’s okay and u can just consider this an appreciation post dksfjslkdjf but!!!!!! aminah i’ve already told you i’ve sent you so many asks anonymously and i only recently found the courage and come off bc i feel really comfortable whenever i talk to you <33 literally the KINDEST soul in the entire world;; you might not answer asks quickly ALL the time but you always find a way to make time for the people who look up to you and honestly?? that inspires me to be a kinder more gentler person!! my FELLOW NURSING GAL working your lil BOOTY off, a queen really :’) and not to mention one of the most TALENTED mbb gif makers on the entire planet i’m not even stretching that i truly mean it angel <33 thank u for making me (and others ofc) feel incredibly appreciated, and thank you for being a blessing to mbb tumblr :D

@changkynie — sian angel!!!! you have been with me since the beginning of this blog it seems like!!! thank you for always being my secretive cheerleader on my blog, i really adore you for that! you are such a cutie and you ALWAYS make time to send in little messages to both me and our lil family on my blog!! it’s really the sweetest thing; you are truly SUCH blessing and i love waking up/falling asleep to your kind words <33 together forever bub i think <33

@tsunpan (idk which blog you’re comfortable w me tagging so i’ll just do this one dsjfsjdf)—RATCH!!!!!!! i know a lot of ppl on your blog don’t know your name (and oddly enough i’ve never asked either bc i thought u wanted to be secretive LMAO) but then you plugged your twitter @ a while ago and u said it had your name there HEHE SO!!!!!!! i’ll keep it private :) but HOLY CRAP!! my actual first moot on here :( like my FIRST first moot ever :( says i’ve been following you for 8 FREAKING MONTHS!!!!!!!! and wow look how far we’ve come <33 i know i don’t message u as often as a should but just know i cherish this friendship like my life depends on it skdfjlksdjf and thank you for always indulging me with you’re changkyun writings (shout OUT to safekeeping kyun UGH my heart) + also sharing my love for mr. park junhee + ALSO being my astrology guru WOW u really do it all <33 ;; every time i message you i’m always like wow i wish i were as carefree and funny as my gal !! love you to the moon and back dear, thank you for putting up with me 💘💗💖💓💞

@monpabebe —lastly but CERTAINLY not least is my dear RIKA!!!!! again i have this running theme of being scared of the ppl i love LMAO but yes rika i’ve been following you too for a very very long time (i have actually sent u some anonymous stuff too hehe) but i think i fINALLY revealed myself when u mentioned your height!! SHORTBEBES OUT HERE PROTECTING EACH OTHER <33 but on a serious note, you are amazing :( i’m so glad i came out of my shell to finally talk to you; thank you for supporting my work, it means the absolute WORLD to me and thank you for also being a backbone here on monbebe tumblr as well :) i love seeing your interactions with your anons, it always puts a smile on my face 💘💗💖💓💞 whether you're arguing about tomatoes, geeking over shownu, or just giving your opinion on everything monsta x related, i always look up to you 🥺🥺🥺🥺 i know i don’t really talk to you often (bc i’m still a lil intimidated IM SORRY skdfjksd) but i would love for our lil friendship to bloom in the future rika!! :)

#mädch rambles #musHY POST omg but :') i just love u all so much idk #idk if this is weird like im sorry if youre uncomfortable w this sort of thing but idk when i reached 400 it just hit me #like wow ppl appreciate my mediocre content + are growing with me :)#PHEW #my sweet MOOTS <33

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