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#and i am absolutely never going to tag who it is
welcometololaland Β· 2 days
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almost uploaded a picture of my bank statement instead of this header! happy days!
thanks for the tags @hippolotamus @kiwiana-writes @happiness-of-the-pursuit @rmd-writes
@nancygillianmvp @terramous @tellmegoodbye @freneticfloetry @beautifulhigh
@orchidscript @myheartalivewrites and @strandnreyes (don't think that was a real tag but i'm taking it anyway to force you to love me).
1. How many works do you have on Ao3?
49 (last time it was 46 but i feel like that isn't enough of a difference? disappointed in myself dfhskjh)
2. What's your Ao3 bodycount word count?
1,119,086 which does include some co-writes, but I also have around 200k of unposted WIP in my google docs so i'm counting it (including a fully written fic - someone put their hands around my neck and force me to edit it PLEASE).
3. Which fandoms do you write for?
red white and royal blue, 911 lone star, top gun maverick (flirting with winter's orbit always)
4. Top 5 fics by kudos?
the order of these has changed but not the identity:
Speak for Yourself (RWRB) (you know when eminem said he'd never be able to top My Name Is? this is my version of that)
Fifty First Dates (RWRB) (oodie agenda reigns supreme)
The RIng-In (Lone Star) (otherwise, lone star is in danger of being eviscerated from this top 5 lmao)
(Not) A Cinderella Story (RWRB) (NDAs are hot, apparently)
Cursed is a State of Mind (RWRB) (cursed caffeine is the main drawcard let's not lie)
5. Do you respond to comments?
i try my absolute best to. i am currently really behind and i apologise for that (the problem is, i reply to comments before i post anything and i haven't posted anything in ages).
6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?
serious answer - Contaminated
my answer - oh baby i'm a fool for you because we never find out if they actually watch twilight and that's a damn shame
7. What is the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?
literally everything else - i don't really do open endings or sad endings! in the words of the great philosopher, skepta: "nah, that's not me."
8. Do you get hate on fics?
i used to, but i haven't in ages! thank god for that.
9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?
yes, although i have to say i've been moving away from pwp lately. i feel my best smut is written into longer fics where the sex serves a plot or characterisation purpose within the frame of the overarching narrative.
10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?
yes, a RWRB/LS but i never finished it. ALTA is a veronica mars inspired tarlos fic which kind of feels like a crossover at times.
11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?
not to my knowledge :)
12. Have you ever had a fic translated?
yes! Phonography (Lone Star) has been translated, as has Baby, Make Your Move (Lone Star) and Warm Whispers (Lone Star). I'm very grateful to the incredible people who have made these translations happen - you are so talented.
13. Have you ever co-written a fic?
yes, many with @dustratcentral. I also wrote a chapter of a co-written fic with a whole bunch of incredible RWRB authors called never the same twice.
@rmd-writes and I have created (Un)Professional Services and (upcoming) Call Me (By Your Name).
The Rainbow Fish was co-written with @strandnreyes.
I love co-writing so much and I am always open to anyone who wants to give it a go!
14. What's your all time favourite ship?
me + my unposted wips.
15. What's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?
probably the aforementioned crossover which was apparently also my answer last time.
16. What are your writing strengths?
i'm allergic to giving myself compliments but i would say maybe dialogue/banter and worldbuilding.
17. What are your writing weaknesses?
keeping things short. also, exposition.
18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?
kinda scared to because i don't speak any other languages and i'm so hesitant to annoy my very talented multi-lingual friends with my annoying questions.
19. First fandom you wrote for?
we don't talk about that.
20. Favourite fic you've written?
probably still Love Game because the experience was just so amazing and i never wanted to stop writing it.
heaps of people have already done this so leaving an open tag and also a couple of suggestions under the cut but apologies if you've already participated or been tagged 7 million times:
@bonheur-cafe @theghostofashton @thebumblecee @indomitable-love @eclectic-sassycoweyes
@tailoredshirt @vineofroses @liminalmemories21 @mikibwrites @birdclowns
@ladytessa74 @basilsunrise @cold-blooded-jelly-doughnut @rosedavid @sanjuwrites
@alrightbuckaroo @three-drink-amy @marjansmarwani @dumbpeachjuice @doublel27
@lemonlyman-dotcom @blueink3 @ambiguouspenny @clottedcreamfudge @emmalostinwonderland
@sail-not-drift @inexplicablymine @celeritas2997 @cricketnationrise @reyesstrand
@goodways @carlos-in-glasses @heartstringsduet @sunshinestrand @sherryvalli
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etherealily Β· 19 hours
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π™’π™ƒπ™„π™‹π™‡π˜Όπ™Žπ™ƒ // Nate Jacobs.
Nate Jacobs + Fem!reader. Dark. SFW, but discretion advised.
Cliffhanger or series? Haven't decided. Repost because of reasons.
You do NOT have permission to repost and/or translate any of my fics.
Desc.: You're needed. Now.
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It's not like you even knew Nate.
You knew of him, sure, quarterback and shit, but still, it was unlikely your paths would ever cross.
Until they did.
Until he started following you on Instagram.
That shit... was so unbelievably odd that you almost blocked him because you thought it was a fake account. But then you saw the mutuals. Holy shit. This was legit.
The fact that his account was private didn't surprise you. Yours was public because you had nothing to post and his was private because he had everything to hide.
You sent him a request. No biggie. I mean, he had to accept, right? He was the one who followed you first - it was only fair. And if it took too long, then you could always unsend it, yeah? Yeah.
It didn't take too long. It barely took three minutes.
Okay. Cool. Weird but cool.
The next day at school, it was normal. You didn't acknowledge him, and he didn't acknowledge you. An average social media interaction. Good.
--------
Come Friday evening, you decided that watching Maddy cheer was a little less important than your deadline and building your portfolio.
She absolutely supported you (rolled her eyes and said 'whatever, nerd. You still love me, right?') but was a little upset about it (pouted and called you a cunt).
Three hours went by, and you surprised yourself with the amount of work you were getting done. This is great. Friday evening well spent. Work a bit more, and then-
Nate Jacobs tagged you in a Close Friends story.
Close Friends? Tagged? NATE JACOBS?
Okay, one : no fucking way were you on his Close Friends.
Two : there were virtually zero pictures of the two of you, so tagging you was moot.
Three : there was supposed to be a game starting about fifteen minutes from now, Blackhawks versus whatever pretentious team they were going to beat, so why the fuck was he even online?
(Oh, yeah, the Blackhawks were absolutely fucking awesome.)
The story was only text. Text and nothing more.
Y/N, accept my message request. Now. I am not fucking around.
What message request? WHAT the fuck was going on?
You frowned, immediately scrolling over to messages. Shit. There was a request.
A picture, along with six other messages.
This was so strange. It was especially strange that he found the time to text you, when he was supposed to be practicing throwing the old pigskin around for the victory of his school. But text you he did. As if him following you wasn't enough to give you whiplash. "Yo."
"You're not here." No shit, Sherlock.
"You should be."
What the hell was that supposed to mean? This was the most excruciatingly awkward interaction you'd ever had.
"You should be here. Come."
Did he think he was super macho with all this mysterious, vague, one-word bullshit he was spewing? You know what, you'd actually bet your entire school tuition he did. But you wouldn't give him the satisfaction of asking why.
"U don't just send requests to random people. Don't act like you don't know me. Don't ignore my texts."
"I'm fucking losing it. Come now or else."
WHAT. THE. FUCK.
This was the most random thing to ever happen to you. Nate Jacobs, some random jock you never even said one word to, was texting you as if you had been best friends since two years old and you had always been all rah-rah-go-team for him.
You were almost scared to open the picture. Instagram asked you if you were sure. Once, twice. You should have listened. But you didn't, and you were about to face the consequences.
Red. That was the first thing you saw, and the first thing that had ever grossed you out enough to physically throw your phone away.
So much red.
Above the red, concealed almost cruelly, was a black box with white text in it. For a moment, your eyes were overwhelmed, so overwhelmed with the monstrosity in front of you that you couldn't even begin to comprehend what the words meant. You picked your phone back up, squinting your eyes and blocking out the rest.
He must have noticed you accepted his request, because you saw 'Typing...' pop up way too fast for him not to have been waiting.
"I'll cut deeper if you don't show up."
Nate Jacobs was a cruel and manipulative bastard of a man who you would happily let die.
But not like this.
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You glanced at the screen and then back at the road, from time to time. There was no indication that he was typing. The 'online' sign still stayed. Okay. So he either just threw his phone away while still on your chat or he was about to-
Nate Jacobs started an audio call.
Clearly tonight wasn't going to be the night you stayed in and finished all your assignments, like you'd decided.
"Pick up or I'll fucking kill you."
Yup, that sounded about right.
You laughed, incredulously. The genuine threat wasn't lost on you, but what else does one do in this situation besides laugh at the absurdity of it all?
Better safe than sorry. You swiped up.
"Y/N, please just come."
It felt so weird to hear him say your name. It felt even weirder to hear him say 'please'.
"Why?"
"You need to be here." His voice was unwavering.
"Look, Jacobs, I'm sorry, but I have projects and assignments to work on. Not to mention, my portfolio-"
You wanted to see how far you could take it. He couldn't hear your car's sounds, and he couldn't possibly track your location, so according to him, you were still sitting at home, petulantly.
If he was joking, he'd just cuss you out drunkenly. If he wasn't, he'd... keep begging.
"Jesus fuck, Y/N, just come!"
"I can't. I'm sorry."
Keeping your calm was the best thing you'd ever done for yourself, the greatest form of self-care you could give yourself, because Nate Jacobs sensing nervousness was like sharks smelling blood in the water. Quick and bad.
"I have important shit, too, you know? Scouts are here, Y/N, please!"
"Look-"
"Coach, I know, just five more minutes - FUCK, Y/N, you gotta come.", he pleaded, his tone becoming far too pathetic to brush off.
"Why?"
"Why? Whaddayamean why?", he huffed out, frustrated, as if you were supposed to know this already.
2 + 2. What galaxy we live in. The colour of the sky. Why you were needed at the game. According to this asshole, all these things were common knowledge.
"I will cut deeper."
"Stop bullshitting, Jacobs."
You hoped to god that your voice didn't betray your bewilderment. This better be a sick fucking joke.
"I'm cutting."
"Stop."
"Coach says the five minutes are up, but I won't play without you here."
A video. SHIT. FUCK.
"What the fuck is your problem?!"
Actually, no. This better not just be a joke, because if the entire school was in on this shit, you would end up cutting him.
The grunts of pain and sharp inhales from his side of the call got more and more grotesque as you pulled into the school parking lot.
The school had an unsettling vibrancy to it after hours, and this was only exacerbated by the fact that you were supposedly the cause for a boy to slice through his own skin. It shouldn't have seemed this vibrant, this overwhelming, this vivid, this.... bright, but it did. The world moved at an eerily quick pace, like a carnival ride on LSD.
As you ran across the parking lot and gripped the gate to the stadium and basically swung right past it, you finally realized how fucking loud a crowd could be.
It was like they knew that their QB might be bleeding out because of you, because they seemed to scream loud enough to torture you for eternity.
Immediately manhandled by Chris McKay -another jock you had absolutely no connection to, but who seemed to have a very personal grudge against you-, you were pushed out of the locker rooms as quickly as you came in. Fuck's sake.
"Let me go , McKay!"
"Coach is trying to calm him down, and if he sees you, we got no idea what he might do, okay? OKAY?", he ordered, sternly, through clenched teeth as he shook your shoulders.
He was earnestly trying to be calm and gentle, but his fingers gripping harder and harder into your arms did jackshit to help his case.
"Okay."
He nodded, sighing in some emotion that seemed oddly like relief.
What, did he expect more of a fight? Did he expect you to be all 'no, I gotta see him now?'
You had no clue who the hell this bastard was, let alone what he wanted. No way were you going to kick and shout for him.
"What the fuck is his problem?", you asked, sighing against McKay's chest, exhausted.
He shrugged, rubbing his forehead in exasperation. "He's stressed about the game."
"So he cuts himself in my name? We don't even know each other, dude!"
"Okay, he isn't exactly the one you go to for rationality, alright?"
"Yo, the fuck's going on, man? The game was supposed to start-"
The other team's captain.
"Yeah, we're just, uh, dealing with a situation over here.", assured McKay, biting the inside of his cheek to keep from going ballistic at Nate. Or you. Most likely Nate. But even more likely you. "Tell your coach we're so sorry, and we'll be out in a minute, tops."
The other guy scoffed, grumbling as he stomped away, glaring more at you than McKay. What, did everyone know now?
"He thinks we're trying to hook up before the game.", explained McKay, patiently, almost embarrassed. "It's a thing some athletes do, 'for luck'."
Jocks were the weirdest fucking aliens to ever exist.
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Crimson traced paths through the blinding white of the bandages wrapped tightly like dependent vines around his palm. Noticing the lack of uniformity of white, Coach tsked. "We need more. McKay!"
"Yes, Coach?"
"One more, then you can send her in."
"She came?" Nate's voice, though feeble and exhausted - and now, hopeful - was heard through the tiny gap in the door that McKay made sure would remain tiny as he passed the last bandage to him, and you didn't want to admit it, but it broke your heart.
Ew. Nate Jacobs was breaking your heart?
Coach finished wrapping Nate up, and McKay guided you in, with both measured aggression and protectiveness.
Nate's eyes lifted and brightened up immensely, a feat you'd only thought possible by a lone spark igniting and breach every inch of a dry leaf.
"You came."
"Son, I don't know what the hell you were thinking-"
"No, no, Coach, she's here, we can play."
Everyone stopped breathing at that moment. What the hell did the self-wounding quarterback asshole just say?
"What'd you just say, Jacobs?"
"We can play. Y/N's here. This isn't my good palm, anyway, so it's fine. Let's go."
And just like that, Nate was back. The amount of theses that could be written on this sheer anomaly of a man, the amount of studies that could be conducted, the amount of shock anyone else in this situation would go through- all unheard of.
No one else could handle it, though, besides all the people right there in the room. The best friend : self-taught and well-versed in handling him, the Coach : the authority figure that could calm him down with a bunch of fatherly words and....
And you : no one knew what the fuck you brought to the table. But something told you no one else would have survived in your shoes.
"Alright... then...?" Even Coach was absolutely speechless.
Nate nodded briskly, shooting up with a sudden burst of energy as he smiled at you.
Smiled.
Ladies and gentlemen : Nate Jacobs was on crack, confirmed.
He drew you in against his chest with an extremely unprecedented jerk, and you locked eyes with McKay behind him as he did so.
Not crack. Probably fent.
Your questioning gaze- which obviously said 'what in the everloving fuck is he doing?' - was met with a shrug and a look which suggested he barely even recognized his best friend right now.
"Okay, let's go WIN this motherfucker!", shouted Nate, patting your shoulder and loudly clapping his hands together before sprinting out of the locker rooms into the cheering football field.
It was dressed entirely in Blackhawk colours and bathed in a fluorescent, sickeningly pale light that you had to now spend an hour and a half in. Ugh.
Whiplash or not, you were about to throw up.
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You know those moments after a surreal event? When you just... sit. Stare into space and... ruminate.
You were having one of those in your car. The game had ended, really well, too, with the Blackhawks winning by a landslide. Your windshield had never held such secrets before. You stared through it.
Knock. Knock. Knock. Bang.
You turned. Nate Jacobs' fist fell on your window more times than you thought was necessary. 'Unlock the door, Y/N.'
You shook your head. Not a fucking chance in hell.
"'Y/N, don't be difficult, unlock the fucking door."
Something in you told you that that would be the worst mistake of your entire life.
"I'm sorry, I just want to talk, yeah?"
You had no idea if he deliberately made it a point to rest his bandaged palm on the window in full display to manipulate you, or if it was just a coincidence.
Just a coincidence, right?
You sighed, nodding your head in the direction of the passenger's seat as you unlocked it. Stupid, stupid, stupid.
He slid in, grinning as he shut the door.
"You catch the touchdown?"
"Yeah. I did."
"What'd you think? Smoothest match yet?"
"Sure."
His grin gave way to a lour as he scoffed. "Why are you so cold? Our school won."
"Why am I so cold? Why am I so cold? You asshole, you just cut yourself to make me show up!"
"Because you didn't show up when I asked nicely!"
"You're a psychopath." The effect of this word on him was oddly intriguing. He seemed to both be offended by it and seemed to get off on it.
"Can I just explain?", he sighed, sucking on his teeth for a moment as he watched other students, cheering, whistling, hooting and drinking, through your windshield.
You gestured at him to continue. He wasn't worthy enough of your words.
"You know athletes have...", he trailed off, searching desperately for the right word of vindication.
"Small dicks?"
"Okay, deserved.", he muttered, rolling his eyes. "Look, we have, like... superstitions, sometimes. For luck."
"Like the hooking up thing."
"How do you know about that?"
"McKay told me."
He scoffed, shaking his head as if his friend had divulged the biggest secret, as if he had broken some moral code.
"Alright, fine, whatever. But, uh, I pretend like it's not something I do, but I kinda have them too."
If he was about to say what he was going to, you were about to press into the wound just to watch him bleed again. How dare he.
"My, um, my first game, I bumped into you on my way to the locker rooms.", he admitted, clearing his throat as if to clear space for whatever he was going to say - because it was so obviously the solution to String Theory, like he was making it out to be.
But oh, shit. He actually was going to say it.
"And we won. The next game, I did the same again, by accident. Y'know, just, this time, I fist-bumped you."
"When the fuck did you-"
"You were drunk, and you were cheering all of us on with your friends. You went for McKay's fist, but I did it instead. Uh, yeah, anyway. So, from the... maybe fourth? Yeah, the fourth game, I made it a point to at least brush my arm past you. Haven't lost a game since."
Your touch was his good luck charm? Was he clinically insane? Or was he just a massive loser?
"What's next? Our rising signs are aligned?"
"It's not a fucking joke, Y/N!", he snapped, his fist clenching.
"Really? Because it's pretty fucking hilarious."
"You know how hard it was for me to even admit I had superstitions, let alone about some random nobody girl I've never even talked to?"
No, no, he was not trying to make you feel bad, no goddamn way.
"You know how hard it was for me to see some random nobody guy bleeding out because of me?"
"It wasn't that deep." The pun was intended. It was so evidently intended that you wanted to slap the smirk off his lips.
"Yeah, okay, get out."
"Okay. You better show up to the next one, babygirl, or I'll have to take more drastic measures."
The audacious son of a bitch ruffled your hair and winked before he left.
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"C'mon, Y/N, don't be a cunt. Just do it. High five me. Fist bump me. Hug me. Whatever. Just do it, I've got a game to get to. And... everyone's watching."
The very next weekend, there was another game. Last game of the season. And you were supposed to be there, of course, because Nate's 'entire life depended on it.' And what's worse? He'd dragged you there, from your internship.
That's right. He'd basically come to your place of work, interrupted a conversation with your boss, and tugged you along with him because of his borderline insane obsession with having to touch you for luck.
He could have gotten away with it, too, if his 'good luck charm' theory hadn't involved you having to make contact with him right before the game.
And now you were out there on the field. Backing away from him. Refusing.
"Y/N, please."
"Fine."
You slapped him across the face, as hard as you possibly could.
The entire football field gasped.
He'd fucked up your week with the picture of the blade carving into his skin, and now, he was fucking up your career by costing you your internship. And what's worse, he didn't even care.
"Go. Play now."
He clenched his jaw, closing his eyes to suppress his rage before he opened them again. "That's not how it works. It has to be mutual. Like a fist bump. Or bumping into each other."
"Oh, okay.", you shrugged, grabbing his wrist before using it to uppercut him. "NOW go. PLAY."
You didn't know if you were being 'whoo'd or 'boo'd by the crowd, but at this point, the only thing you could hear was the red hot fury in your boiling blood.
He bit his lip as you let go of his hand, and before he jogged out onto the field, you could have sworn he said something that, if you'd heard it right, could cut through your entire soul and ruin your self-perception for years - something absolutely, shatteringly degrading.
You hoped you'd heard wrong.
Taking your seat in the stands, you scrolled on your phone, ignoring the entire fucking game. As expected, text from your team leader.
Gone. Internship gone. LoR gone. Nate Jacobs? About to be gone.
-------
He won.
He. Fucking. Won.
And that smirk that he gave you before blowing you a kiss that immediately morphed into flipping you the bird made you want to genuinely ask him to recreate that video once again.
You hated yourself for it, but yes.
You wanted him dead.
All the trauma he'd given you the past week couldn't be left unpunished.
Oh, to knock him off his pedestal. OH, to be the one to make him scream in pain instead of arrogant mirth.
"Whoo! Nate FUCKING Jacobs, baby!", he cheered in your ear as you gritted your teeth, walking back to your car. "And, of course, you."
You threw your bags into your car, ignoring him as you get in, starting the engine. He thumped on the hood of the car. "Come on, you can't still be mad! Your boss was looking down your shirt, anyway!"
"Oh, and I'm supposed to believe you did this out of the goodness of your heart?", you scoffed.
"That's right, baby, chivalry ain't dead."
"No, but you're about to be. Get the fuck out of my way."
"Hey, I need a ride. Gimme a lift."
"No chance in hell, Jacobs."
"Stop wounding me. Let me in."
"Or what?"
"I'll break your window.", he shrugged, casually. Normal things. The sun will rise tomorrow. Seasons will change. He'll break your window.
"I wouldn't be letting you in if I didn't think you were psychotic enough to actually do that."
He chuckled, sitting as he rested his duffel bag on his lap. A couple moments later, he looked up at you. "What? What are you waiting for?"
"Tell me where to go."
"You don't know where I live?"
"Okay, let me explain this to you, slowly. I didn't know jackshit about you till, like, a week ago. I didn't know your age or what kind of car you drove, or even what classes we shared, much less where the hell you live!"
"All this shit just proves that you don't observe people around you. You only care about yourself."
"If I only cared about myself, you'd have bled out last week."
He sighed playfully, resting his feet on your dashboard because he very evidently knew you would have a neurotic breakdown. "I, for one, know your age, the kind of car you drive, all the classes you have, plus your favourite colour and food."
"The first two are moot.", you replied, ignoring his silent mockery of the word 'moot'. "Next, you know I'm in all of Maddy's classes. And the rest you can find on my account. Account stalker."
"Account stalker. God, sweetheart, you're such a child. You don't want your account stalked, don't have a public one."
"I barely even post anything!"
"Oh, yeah, what about last month?"
He was looking at your profile last month? "I'd gone to France. It was a photo dump."
"It was unnecessary."
"Okay, you know what this is?"
He raised a brow.
"This is post-game audacity, is what I call it. You won. You're Mr. Big Shot, so you think you can just-"
And that's when Nate Jacobs kissed you.
To call it the worst fucking moment of your life would be a massive understatement. "Drive."
"You did not just fucking kiss me."
"You want me to do it again?"
"NO."
"Then drive."
This motherfucking bastard of a man!
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"You wanna come in?"
No way in hell were you going into Nate Jacobs' house. Especially when there was a party going strong.
"I'm good."
He rolled his eyes, his arm leaning on the top of the window as he leaned in. "I don't bite. Initially."
"Ooh, you don't bite initially, oh, please let me come in right now! Shut up and get in, Jacobs."
"You've earned the right to call me Nate. Congrats. Begin using it."
"Why? We're never talking after this."
He scoff-snickered. "Oh. OH, so that's how it is.", he nodded, amused.
"Yeah, yeah, that's how it is."
He guffawed, banging on the hood of your car. "This ain't funny anymore. Come in."
"What? No."
"Is there really only one way to ask you to do something?"
"No, Jacobs, don't you dar-"
But he didn't listen. When did he ever? His fingers emerged from his pocket with his knife in tow. NOT AGAIN. This was the most cunning, calculating, manipulative, Machiavellian-
"I'm cutting. This time, my wrist."
"You're so fucking dumb, y'know that? You're psychopathic."
The grin on his face showed that you were wrong. He wasn't offended. He was 100% getting off on it.
Drops of blood reached the floor, and you realized you couldn't just drive off and leave this guy here - he'd probably still be cutting just to prove a point.
"I hope you die.", you mumbled, getting out of your car and slamming the door.
"I'm trying, dude!", he laughed, pointing at his wrist. Oh, this sick bastard.
"Not dressing that wound?"
"C'mon, blood is sexy. Badass."
Nate Jacobs was about to see how 'badass' blood could really get.
And when you were done beating the everloving shit out of him, you kissed him. Because he deserved to know how infuriating that shit was, too.
The next day at school, it was normal. You didn't acknowledge him, and he didn't acknowledge you.He didn't seem to care about the fact that you hit him so hard he almost had a concussion. An average social media interaction. Good.
How it should be.
But then he texted you.
Fuck.
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writeouswriter Β· 1 year
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Broke: Acknowledging that a character who is an objectively terrible person is also a complex and intentionally well thought out individual with different levels of nuance you can empathize with in some ways while not in others is immediately β€œwoobifying” or β€œpoor little meow meowifying” them.
Woke: β€œThis character is a bad person” and β€œthis character is still a person” are two statements that can, should and do coexist and admitting that they exhibit nuance and depth and are more than just their bad actions doesn’t immediately excuse or condone their bad actions or mean that you’re ignoring or trying to soften the canonical version of the character.
Bespoke: That’s the whole point, that’s always been the point, to be made to empathize with horrible people so you can understand that they can be anyone, that bad people can be likeable, can be interesting, can be human, are human, and it’s scary to think about all the ways they’re just like you and all the ways they’re just like everything you hate, forcing the use of critical skills in media analysis, forcing a confrontation of the duality of man.
Whatever Level is Above Bespoke: But sometimes, yeah, sure, maybe they are a poor little meow meow, what are you gonna do, get a lawyer
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haunted-xander Β· 7 months
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tbh one of, if not my absolute favorite part about ffxiv, is the small little moments/sections where nothing super big or like. Plot Important happens, but that give both the characters and us, the players, some much appreciated down-time to just. Feel things. And to process what's happened and what's going on or to just. Let us exist, in the moment. In a much more grounded and human way than when there's Big And Important Things happening.
The biggest(imo) and earliest example of this is right after the Waking Sands get raided in ARR, and WoL turns to the church for guidance. The entire section of us helping them gather and bury our fallen comrades, and especially bringing Noraxia home to Little Solace so she can be laid to rest in her homeland, by her own people and in their own cultural ways, was so so important to me.
Because it wasn't just replacable allies cast aside for shock value anymore, it was real. These deaths were real and meant something. I got to actually process what just happened, and I got to watch Banana go through it right with me. And not only did it make it feel real, it also gave me a sense of closure. These people, these friends, are dead, but they also got to be treated with the respect they deserve and laid to rest properly.
And that, more than anything else, made me want to save the world. It's grounded and grounding. This world, and these people, meant something to me, the player.
And there's tons of stuff like that throughout the game, especially in shadowbringers and endwalker.
In shb we have, for example, Lyna venting her anger and frustration after the sin eater attack in Lakeland. She's on her knees yelling on the verge of tears while punching the ground, so furious at her helplessness and powerlessness, at everyone having come so far yet set back because some megalomaniacal tyrant deemed it so.
In ew we have Urianger being approached by Moenbryda's parents, who confront him about not confiding in them about his grief. When Bloewyda starts to scold him, he of course reacts guiltily, believing they blame him, only for him to be completely caught off guard when she instead goes in to hug him, telling him he should have let them grieve with him. And he just. Breaks down. He's been holding these feelings, this grief inside him all this time, and now that he is not only told it's okay to let it out, but by her very own parents at that, he just can't keep it in anymore. He cries for Moenbryda, right then and there, being held lovingly by her family.
And the thing is, these scenes aren't necessary, strictly speaking. The plot at large could go on without them, the events that happen around them are not changed by these moments in any way.
But still, they are so so important, to the world, to the characters, to the players. Everything feels real and impactful now, every death means something, every tragedy, every person, feels real.
And that, to me, is what makes this story so special.
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svtskneecaps Β· 30 days
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ok among my favorite parts of qsmp is the fact that charlie slimecicle can only hold the act of being mad at mariana when mariana isn't in the room. like he successfully rp'd being mad at his deadbeat puta esposa for months while mariana wasn't logging on, like he complained about mariana at the wedding, during the election, in subsequent appearances, and then he's messaging mariana in the chat during purgatory and he's still holding it
and then they're both at spawn like as close to face to face as they get. and bro CANNOT hold the act it drops so fast lmfao he was like "yea cellbit i'm gonna kill mariana" and instead they have a genuinely heartfelt conversation and then rp sexo in the fountain
and i know i'm brainrotting purgatory rn but i'm actually thinking about this bc i saw a clip of mariana and slime talking during the awards show and literally. slime's face goes from 😑🀬 MARIANA'S HERE, SAY SOMETHING PUTA ESPOSA to πŸ˜„πŸ˜ the second mariana shows up on the screen
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like he's still pretending to be mad but dude is grinning like absolute crazy and i love that
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liverpool-enjoyer Β· 10 months
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the wasted potential feelings are hitting SO ESPECIALLY hard tonight i need to go to sleep
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c0l0re Β· 2 months
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Every time I see a post about Jonmartin being toxic I get just a little bit closer to commiting arson
#colore speaks#not main tagging this because i genuinely do not want this to become A Thing but god#im not going to get into all of it here because i have already spent a frankly embarrassing amount of time discussing this with friends#i have gone point by point. season by season. i have looked at this from so many fucking angles man#istg i will write an actual analysis post on these two eventually#is their relationship perfect? fuck no it is absolutely not#is it toxic? also no#like. their relationship is flawed and theyve both got a lot of issues but that does not equal toxicity#also id like to remind people: we dont see what happens off tape. we only see what the Web deemed as important or necessary#in other words: we only see them when they are suffering and tensions are running higher than normal#we dont see their lunches together in season two. we dont see their time at the safehouse. we dont see them when they arent suffering#this is one of those things about tma that i am so passionate about and am so certain on#i have spent way too long analyzing these fuckers both seperately as characters and also together as a couple#they have issues. im not denying that whatsoever#but to say that theyre toxic or that their relationship could never work or whatever else is just not true and i will die on that hill#nuance people. please. this is not a black and white thing#(not getting into this either but: this is also coming from someone whos been in toxic and abusive relationships)#(i know what that shit looks like and this is not it)
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devotedlystrangewizard Β· 11 days
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the school arc to me is so good because it drags ciel out of his position as a powerful figure and literally places him in the shoes of the person he could have been. the circus arc ALSO drags him out of his position as big bad queens watch dog/head of the phantomhive estate but the school arc feels like a mockery of a future that never was. this is what he could have been had his parents not died. and even then its NOT because he will never be that kid.
he never was.
#ramblings#incoherent beyond belief its 4 am#and im trying to avoid manga spoilers#might add a reblog with more coherent thoughts when i wake up but im off my meds so i cant promise anything#actually correction im being vague w the manga spoilers#manga readers know whats up#idk if there are any anime only ppl who havent been spoiled on The Plottwist Ever yet#but i figured there will be new fans and though im not tagging this it might still get seen so#cant WAIT to see our boy absolutely miserable in animation form should they recreate that arc LMAOOO#which ofc is after the germany arc so thats still a long time away#but STILL. itd be fun i need to see this young teenager lose his mind in color with sound#him relying on sebastian to do all his fag duties (sorry. dredge) so he can work his way up the social ladder#trying to gain power while simultaneously proving that he cant do anything but rely on others#hes always needed help in basically every way and he hasnt CHANGED he just got a demon to do it for him#he learns to lie and charm and cheat and all the while hes a fucking CHILD WHO STILL STRUGGLES WITH NORMAL THINGS#ciel is my little baby and i love him deeply no matter how much of a little bitch he can be#his helplessness isnt just 'oh he was raised in british high society' its also that he never got the chance to learn anything#which to elaborate on that id also have to go into manga territory. iykyk#like absolutely at this point he just refuses to learn how to do things he has a pet demon to do it for him#but.#hi the phantomhives backstory is killing me again its so late#both atlantic and the school arc are just setup for the Big Arc but theyre very good in their own right i SWEAR#also when i rewatched the circus arc a while back and i realised how some scenes were shot#the heavy foreshadowing that i didnt realise. yk. 7 years ago or however long its been since i first watched it#CRAZY#if you are new. to kuroshitsuji. and you havent read the manga. dear god. read the manga#ALSO GRELLE IN THAT ARC IS SO BEAUTIFUL & OTHELLO IS TRANSMASCULINE. OKAY GOODBYE
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wowifinallywatched Β· 27 days
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Wow I Finally Watched Sunshine
What happens when you put Cillian Murphy and Chris Evans in close confinement on their way to send a bomb into the sun?
Did I mention the incredible Michelle Yeoh and Benedict Wong are apart of these space shenanigans?
Have I gotten your attention of this very underrated movie yet?
Sunshine came out in 2007 and I had never once heard or seen anything of this movie until a few days ago, While I was innocently scrolling through Disney+, This movie appeared.
Now, Being a huge fan of Chris Evans for many years and recently diving into the work of Cillian Murphy, I was already hooked.
But then you tell me this is a Sc-fi Psychological Thriller set in space?
NOW I REALLY AM HOOKED.
But this isn't just a 'For the scares and spooks' of space travel that film often portrays, This is a film ahead of it's time. A story that could be told in any year, Because this will always be relevant.
This movie makes you think.
What is beyond the stars? What would you do in these humanity-testing scenarios? What would you do when you've come face to face with not only the surface of the sun, but also your own heart?
A movie that questions your own humanity, A movie that has made you feel something so real that it makes your chest feel tight as if you're in that scenario, As if you're apart of a team with these people by your side day in and day out - That is a job well done.
While this movie did take a little bit to get into, it builds the suspence of what's really going on here. But everytime you think you'll look away, you reach for your phone - The movie does something that makes you need to rewind and go "Did they really just say that?"
And when you reach that moment.
There's no going back.
This movie was so incredibly different than anything I've experience for a while and As a thorough enjoyer of the Sci-fi genre in all different forms, This was a truly pleasant surprise.
***Please be cautious minor spoilers in the tags***
***Please read the content warnings of this movie before watching, it can depict scenes that may trigger some individuals***
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Guess what I found on the internet today
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twilightarcade Β· 8 months
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[gameshow host of sorts voice] anyways folks it looks like our time here is up, thanks for coming out tonight and we'll see you next time
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iguessitsjustme Β· 2 months
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I have regrets
#do not go into the mdl comment section#i should know better and yet#i have seen some truly horrifying things this night#and i know it's for a show that i am not a fan of#but my concerns are about how casually racist and lowkey homophobic some of the comments are#without any self awareness about it at all#saw someone say that the writing sucks but that's fine because you can't expect good writing out of thailand because it's a small market#and i'm just like pARDON me??? there is AMAZING writing coming out of thailand#just because you watch shit shows doesn't mean they're all shit what in the absolute shit is that?#if i was feeling feistier i would call them out on it#but i used up all of my fight earlier at work because [redacted] department sucks and i hope they get told off#for screwing over me and my coworker who doesn't seem as annoyed as i am but now i have no energy#but that's some shit to just casually say you won't ever expect good writing out of thailand#when uwma and bed friend and triage and 1000 stars and so many more exist#and that's just bl so what the fuck are you going to write off an ENTIRE country saying they can't write? absolutely the fuck not#i hope that person stubs their toe and then right when it starts to feel a bit better they stub it again#i hope their pens always have barely any ink so they have to struggle to write anything#i hope they never get to have wonderfully delicious thai food ever again#and they can only ever eat midwestern casseroles that are more jello than anything else#oh these tags are long oops i guess i'll end my rant here
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freepassbound Β· 10 months
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What Would You Do?
So here's a situation: went out to buy milk yesterday (as one does). There was a decent deal on - half-gallons for $1.29. Saves a bit on the regular gallon.
Get to the grocery store, pick up my other items, hit the dairy section: there's five cases ('doors') of milk - in the case with my favored kind and the one next to it, most whole rows of half-gallons, gallons, and even quarts... all have the clearance sticker on them. And not marked down a little - they were bargain basement prices that I can't recall seeing before. 50 cents for a half-gallon. 70 cents for a gallon.
I've picked up milk on clearance before - it's a common practice for a grocery store to do when there's only a day two before the marked 'best before' date. If it's just a half-gallon, I figure I can put that away in a few days; a gallon... well, maybe if I made cookies or something.
But I'm already a little spooked by just how many of these are on clearance - usually it's just one or two, and this is... a dozen? More?
So I check the dates.
All the ones that I had a look at (the whole front rows, one in the second row just to check that) say July 28. Ten days from yesterday. Milk on clearance ten days in advance of the 'best by' date is... unheard of. And there are whole other rows in theses cases, with 'best by' dates of Aug. 1, that aren't marked down.
So this is my question:
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20cm Β· 2 years
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β™‘ megbias highlight reel β€” heart boys, if you will . for meg @slowrabbitpd , happy birthday . β™‘
#caleb.gif#i could tag all these guys but honestly this is For meg <3 :') its rly not fandom related its just going to be posted on tumblr dot com#( if anyones curious tho: changkyun + yeonjun + kang daniel / kihyun + junhyeok + taehyun / seungyeop + steve + romin )#meg!! happy birthday bestie πŸ’•#really i hope you have an absolutely wonderful day ahead of you and are able to enjoy it w/ your People whoever they may be#and that you get to treat yourself to something fun <3 and have a wonderful meal πŸ’–#spiritually i am making you egg on rice right now.. or go out for kbbq or w/e u kno..#truly its been an absolute pleasure to have met you and become friends outside just being mutuals on tumblr#youre such a fun and warm and funny person whos just . smart as a whip and have a killer sense of design and general eye#ur an absolute joy to talk to nd i cherish all the roller coasters we've been on together since last year .. theres no one else id rather -#be SO so normal with <3 u just Get it. and i appreciate that more than i could put into words. i love all our shared megrook bias boys +#biases in law? is that what we can call it. anyways. megbiases are treasured <3 so i wanted to include them in a little something#all for you <3 including some very special sky pics !! bc u sent them to me a while ago and i treasured them!! so. have some megbias boys#peeking into ur photos. thats the concept yup fkgjkjdgf idk i just had an idea of sort of .. flipping thru photos here.#anyways. love u bestie! very much. sending u big warm hugs#we are the [deep breath]#taejunist high school yearbook editor freshman orientation leader magic and hiyyih defense squadists kep1er detectives#the boyz gatekeepers woojinist dailytaehyun and soobinsource admin team β€’_β€’ (witnesses of the horrors) + peer review service#^ that gets longer EVERY time. lmfao πŸ’•#ill shut up now but <3 just thank u for being here and being u. i admire u and cherish our friendship + thank u for ur endless patience#bc ik the last few months i was sorta awol but u never once made me feel bad for it and its that sort of level of Comfortable that means -#the world to me<3 so im glad i have tht w/ u <3#MWAH ok [posts]
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zoekrystall Β· 1 year
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Ik I barely post anything personal but anyways I should go to bed but that wallpaper post made me go hey I should finally change to obey me and then I found smth and am now here configuring my whole phone w new apps bc lucifer help. I still feel so sorry for just leaving him I'm sorry babygirl. (played it at the beginning and then stopped until nightbringer)
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Shut up I know 😭
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It is only for android if anyone sees it and wants it here
I own this person my life this is so neat already. Also ngl partially hoping the night lines will make me go to bed. I listen to fictional chars way more no wonder our main caretaker is a fictive sjsks
#I need a tag if this becomes a thing hm. Idk if emojis work.#yknow what I like satanic stuff and it fits w OB so..#the devil speaks#why not#I ramble a lot more on my private twt acc satanisticfag but since tumblr is less hostile I might start to talk here more who knows#only time will tell#since bff since first grade + qpr partner for a few months painfully cut it w me did I become more chatty. for better or worse.#I will absolutely not tag this w the fandom I do still not want to be seen thanks#also I have got to be one of the only ones that don't like solomon that much#idk if it is bc I don't know everything abt the og story#but like. he's mean to the brothers/demons!!! go away. Idk maybe I usually don't like chars that hurt others bc I'm fictionkin and we got#literal fictional chars aka fictives in here so they're less 'just pngs' to me? Idk. For the record I like solomon and other mean chars as#yknow. characters. but I will never have any fav chars I want to smack against the wall or smth#Al from lbmr comes the closest. want to smack him against a wall but want to wrap fendi in a blanket#Also to some degree lucifer but that is purely since like I am sorry but that man is not a dom to me whatever he says#I am not scared of him#he can bark and maybe bite others but not me. and if will I make him regret it#anyways onto figuring out how the fuck those icons work. I am lost w this new layout#before that I def need to switch blazing off or I will forget. I do not want to participate in pvp thx.#(also if I find a better talk tag will I switch to that but for now)#edit since new talk tag:#a wild lux appears
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