#and he's be like you want to fuck your mom (also freaky)
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when people say "oh i'm so weird i'm a loser idk who i am of what i'm doing with my life" all it hear is you should be listening to Quicksand by David Bowie. and the entirety of Hunky Dory. and the man's entire life work honestly. even the movies yeah. but for sure listen to Quicksand and then maybe you'll feel better
#david bowie#also unrelated but anybody feel like freud was#explaining freaky “sexual deviancies” with just equally freaky shit?#like you'd go to him saying mr freud i dreamt i had a chair leg instead of a penis (freaky)#and he's be like you want to fuck your mom (also freaky)#i feel like most of his theories (that i've had to leard about) were giving very much lateral moves#anyway
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My Little Bunny | Older!Eddie x Reader
For Evie, @oneforthemunny prompt for her writing challenge. “based off the lore that older!eddie gets slutty on tequila lol. gimme tequila eddie. make it slutty. the og prompt was at the beach for a wedding of a cousin, if you’d like to follow that, but if not- where does it happen? how do you think it would go? don’t spare a single detail please!!!!” I hope I did your man justice 😘 happy one year!
Happy new year! Here is some smut to start the year off right.
This is pure filth, don’t look at me🫣
Cw: age gap, oral, p in v, ass play, anal. Minors DNI. Only slightly proofread so if you see a spelling mistake… no you didn’t 😤
“Bunnnnnnnnnnnnnny” Eddie slurred. The man could not handle his liquor. But neither could you.
After what happened and the wedding, Eddie swore he wouldn’t drink tequila for a very long time. However, tonight was special. Tonight, the baby was with your parents, and Bri was off with your sister for the evening. It was just you. And Eddie. Alone for the first time in what felt like years. Eddie was wining and dining with you tonight.
You convinced him to go to a bar to dance. Well, you danced, he watched. He watched your body; he loved the new curves you got from bringing Delilah into the world. You returned to the bar where he was sitting and ordered four tequila shots. Eddie had been nursing a beer all night; he was shocked at your drink of choice.
“Bunny you know what happens when I drink this…” giving you a stern look.
“Maybe I wanna get a little freaky tonight…. It’s been so long” you run your hands up and down his chest.
“I don’t know”
“What if I gave you an insensitive?”
“And what would that be?”
“I want you to fuck my ass tonight” you whispered against your husband’s ear.
“Bunnnnnnnnnnnnnny” Eddie slured again as you both stumbled into your home.
“Fuck I need you. I need your tight ass so bad”
You can’t keep your hands off one another. Your lips are attached to his neck, and your hands run up and down his body. You barely make it through the front door before your hands are trying to get down his pants.
Somehow, you make it to the bedroom. You were stripping your man with each step. Something inside of you was burning, and Eddie was the only thing to put it out. A visceral ache in your core, screaming at you to do something about it.
“I need you, I need you so bad,” you whined because he wasn’t moving fast enough. You were already on the bed waiting for him.
Eddie giggled as he tried to unbutton his dress shirt, but it didn’t seem to work.
“Come here,” Eddie coxed you closer to him. “I need your help.”
“Arms up,” your mom instincts kicked in, and you pulled off Eddie’s shirt in one swift motion.
Without hesitation, you worked on his pants the second your fingertips left the fabric of his shirt. Your nimble fingers worked his belt, button, and zipper, and finally, why you craved most was released before you.
"God, you're so hot! How did I land a wife so fucking hot?"
You let Eddie cup your face, kissing you as he pushes you back onto the bed. His tongue parted your lips, and you gladly let him take charge.
It was needy and messy but so deliciously delightful. You missed your hundreds touch. You’d been so busy being a new mom, and Eddie tried picking up extra shifts to make a little more cash so you could take a nice vacation this summer. You hardly spent time together. You needed this. He needed this. The fire in his belly was also burning the second you mentioned your perfect tight little hole wanting to be stretched and pounded by his cock.
“You gonna be my good little bunny?” Eddie spoke as he slinked down your body so his face was level with your throbbing pussy.
“Yes!” You had zero patients, and he thought it was cute.
“Well then... You gotta get nice and wet, f’me”
“Already ammmmm” you wined again. Why was he prolonging this?
“Oh is she? I guess I’ll just have to see for myself.” Eddie didn’t spare another second. His hands wrenched your legs open, pressing them as far as they could reach.
You let out a moan of pleasure when his mouth finally attached to your lower lips.
Eddie needed to taste you. He usually didn’t do this often, but tonight you deserved to be thoroughly fucked. He needed to feel you cumming in his mouth, to taste you, to feel you. His eyes rolled back into his head as he moaned into your pussy.
“Looks like you were right, baby bunny, and you taste so good. Just can’t get enough,” Eddie dove back in, flicking and licking at your clit. Your body was so reactive to him tonight. Let’s thank the tequila because it didn’t take much to make you cum from his mouth.
“Baby, I’m so close”
“Already? But I just started playing with her” he pouted.
“Yes! P-please.” You stuttered.
“You wanna cum? You going to cum for me?”
Unexpectedly, Eddie replaced his mouth with his finger just as you were on the brink. Before you could say anything, his finger was inside your wet fold, collecting all of your slick, and was quickly replaced by his mouth again.
You could feel the warmth building back up. Eddie continued to work your clit. All the while, his finger, drenched with your own natural lube, was starting to tease your other hole.
“Oh my god,” you moan as his finger slowly makes its way inside.
“You okay?”
“Don’t stop!” You begged as your first orgasm washes through you.
“Fuck, your tight little ass is sucking me in so good,” Eddie continues to finger you as you ride out your orgasm.
“Good bunny. Turn around, ass up, show me what’s mine.”
You quickly obeyed his orders and flipped around so you could show him what he wanted. You loved when he got possessive.
“Tell me what you want bunny”
“You.”
“Nu-uh,” Eddie tutted. “Be more specific.”
“Edddiiiieee, please, I need you.”
Eddie couldn’t believe your extra brattiness tonight.
“No,” a sharp slap filled the room and your ass stung. “Tell me what you need, Bunny,” he spoke, and he massaged the area he slapped. Soothing your skin.
“Your tongue… and your fingers,” you pant.
“Good little bunny,” he smirked. “You want me to tongue fuck your tight little hole? Get you nice and ready for me?”
“Yes,” you sigh as you arch your back more so Eddie can see more of you.
“Fuck bunny, you’re perfect.” Eddie gripped each cheek, spreading you open before dipping his head down.
When you felt his tongue make contact with your hole, you cried out again. You were revelling in the fact you were in an empty house. You could be as loud as you wanted.
“Mmmmmm, you taste so good, Bunny,” he moaned into you.
“Eddie!”
“Yes, Bunny?”
“More!”
“More what?”
“Please fuck my pussy”
“You’re such a good little slut for me. Good girl telling me what you want…. But is that all you want?” God, he was so condescending.
You let out an irritated huff. “Eddie, please,” you begged as you wiggled your ass in the air to entice him.
“You need to behave, little bunny, or else you’re not going to get what you want.” Eddie’s hands gripped your cheeks tighter.
“I’m sorry, I just need you so badly baby”
“Ohhh, I like that; tell me more.”
“I need you so bad! I’m aching for you. Please.”
“That’s my good girl.
Eddie lined up his cock with your wanton hole and slowly stretched you out.
“Thank you.” You sighed with relief.
His thick long cock stretched out your walls. You couldn’t help yourself as you rocked your body back and forth onto his cock.
“That’s it, bunny. Show me what you really can do” he slapped your ass again. You rocked your knees and hips back onto Eddie’s cock as he stood at the edge of your shared bed.
“Mmmmmm”
“More!”
You felt a wad of spit drip down your ass, lower and lower, until Eddie’s fingers found it and rimmed your picked hole. As you rocked your body against Eddie’s cock he dipped in his single digit, adding another and another until you stretched out.
Your body is screaming; Eddie was making you feel so good.
“Ok, bunny, you’re going to ride me, bounce on this cock and show me how good of a Bunny you are.”
“Yes, please. Need you.”
Eddie pulled out so he could get underneath you, but not before he reached the nightstand to pull out the lube you had stashed away for nights like these.
“You ready for me, baby?” He asked as he covered his cock in the slippery substance.
“Yes,” you swung your leg around his hips, aligning yourself with his hard cock that lay on his stomach.
“My beautiful girl,” he whispered as he guided your hips down onto him.
“Oh fuck” you both grit out in unison.
You watched as Eddie glazed over with lust.
“Fucking so good. Damn, tight.” Eddie gritted through his teeth.
He planted his feet on the mattress to ground himself. His hips started thrusting up into you, matching your strokes.
“Fuck fuck fuck I love the way you take my cock. Tell me how much you love this cock.”
“I love it,” you panted as you bounced on his cock. You felt so full, so complete. So ready for his cock to fill you.
“Baby, touch me,” you commanded.
Eddie dipped his head to take a nipple in his mouth as his hand found your pussy, finding your clit. A rush of pleasure ran through your body as his mouth and hands explored your body.
“Oh baby,” you threw your head back with pleasure.
“How much do you want it, baby bunny?”
“I want it so bad!”
“What do you want?”
“Your cum”
“Sucha little slut, want me to fill your ass with my cum?”
“Yes!”
Eddie’s hand never stopped working your clit. You could feel the pleasure build and build. Your legs were burning, but it was in measure to how Eddie was making you feel.
“You’re close baby I can feel you clenching down on me so tight.” He squeezed his eyes shut with pleasure.
“Cum for me, baby, cum for me, then I’ll fill you up so good you’ll be leaking for days. Do you want that? To feel my cum dripping out of you tomorrow?”
“Fuck. Eddie!” You cried out as your body clenched around his cock, cumming hard.
"Eddie continued to pound into your ass until he unloaded up into you, filling you up just like you begged him to do.
Your body went limp and your soar muscles rested as you lay your weight fully on your husband.
"Remind me again. Why don't I do tequila?" Eddie laughed as his brain released serotonin. "That was amazing." He kissed the top of your head.
"Remember that question tomorrow, big boy." You giggled, and Eddie finally pulled out of you.
"Come on, Bunny, let's get you cleaned up. " Even in his drunken state, he still needed to take care of you.
"Can't move. You fucked me too well." you sighed.
"I think you did most of the work Bun, you fucked me."
"I did, didn't I?" You smile at the realization.
"Don't get cocky now" He slapped your ass, and you jumped up out of bed with Eddie following close behind you.
#Eddie Munson x you#Eddie Munson x reader#eddie munson smut#older!eddie munson#older!eddie munson x reader#older!eddie x reader#older!eddie munson x you#eddie munson imagine#eddie munson x female reader#eddie munson x y/n#eddie munson x fem!reader smut#munnysonederful
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G!p stepmom Yujin x fem!reader
Part one , part two
Request!
Warnings: cheating (ughhhh), slight baby trapping, wlw marriage, almost got caught, unprotected sex (don’t be silly wrap your Willy), age gap, backshots, rough penetration, not proofread, p in v, slight manipulation, basically porn with plot, make out session, nasty sex and just filthy smut!!😮💨
Word count: 1,4k
After the previous event that happened between you and Yujin, You both started fucking like rabbits. She taught you new things, how to suck her the way she likes it, doggy, cowgirl, reverse cowgirl, cockwarming, basically a whole 101.
It was crazy how fast you learned how to please her and even crazier how your cunt was as tight as before at the way she fucked you, maybe even tighter.
There was few times where she used a condom, and there was also few times where she was raw hammering her tip against your cervix, but then she would deprive you from her creamy essence. Cumming on your back and chest. The only time she filled you up was on the first fuck-session with her, and you felt like on cloud 9.
You wished she would just toss away that rubber material, and just abuse your pussy with her big cock and fill you up. But she seemed so enthusiastic to use that useless roll up thing.
You knew that she is your stepmom and that she literally is married to your mother so she obviously just wants a fast fuck session till her wife comes back and then she would forget about you. What you didn’t know however was that she was as desperate as you, to throw that rubber material away.
She just thought that you are still young and that you probably don’t want to start overthinking about the risk of you getting pregnant with her child. So it was just something she had to accept, even tho feeling your spongy walls squeeze around her raw cock would drive her insane and make her cum three times faster, but she had to accept your wish that you didn’t even verbalize.
You had to take matters into your own hand, you went to her bedside table and opened the drawer. You took the two packs of condoms and went out to throw them in the street trash so she definitely won’t find them anywhere. You already stopped taking your birth control so that’s done and now you got rid of the condom packs so everything is under your control.
It wasn’t long till Yujin came back from work. She stepped inside the apartment and saw you on the couch laying comfortably. Your eyes traveled to her form, she looked breathtaking, a layer of sweat on her forehead, her other hand holding her black leather bag, the first two buttons unbuttoned while her was hanging loose.
You just wanted to suck the life out of her, take her balls into your mouth while the head of her cock was shoved down your throat, making her beg for more and gasp for air, but that was other days plan. Now you just wanted her buried deep inside you, spilling her cum inside your womb.
She walked towards the couch, sinking down on the space left, before searching for your face to pepper you with kisses. Her lips danced against yours, she pulled you onto her lap, you now straddling her. Your one hand was wrapped around her throat while the other cupping her face. Her hands were on the lower of your back. Massaging the area slowly.
It didn’t take long till the kiss got sloppy and messy, her saliva and your saliva drooling down your chin. To some people this was nasty and disgusting, but the both of you loved every second of it.
Yujin couldn’t say that she was dissatisfied with her bed life with your mother, but she definitely wasn’t satisfied either. Your mom hitting her way too often with ‘we are too old for this!’ And sticking with the boring same routine. She lost her mind over you, you were something so pure, ready to get ruined by her, all of your firsts with her,youthful, ready to experience new things, be freaky and wild. She hated the sentence we are too old, because she wasn’t old, and besides your mom was about 11 years older than her. She was about ten years older than you,not the craziest age gap but not the most common either.
Yujin wrapped her arms around your inner thighs before lifting you up and standing to walk towards the bedroom. She laid you down on the bed before opening the drawer, her expression turned from lust to annoyance pretty fast. She let out a loud growl, looking down at her hard on then back at you.
The condoms were not there so she had to go and buy them, and what shop is open at this time? Your eyes met hers, and you slid the already lose tie off her neck and started unbuttoning her blouse. She stopped your hands from continuing “We ran out of condoms and no shop is open now.” She felt bad for denying you but she wasn’t risking it. Her dick could wait till tomorrow.
“We don’t need one!” You smiled seductively before spitting out in a sultry tone. You yanked her hand away before continuing to unbutton her blouse. She looked back at you like you grew two heads.
“Are you sure? We can wait till tomorrow.” She reassured you, hoping that you are not feeling pressured to do anything. All of these thoughts were wiped once you lightly squeezed her hard on. A husky groan fell from her lips, her head thrown back. She tossed the last piece of clothing before ripping off the black silky night gown off you. The violated material now on the floor.
She took a grasp of your hips and flipped you over, face down ass up. Her bare cock having contact with your slick panties, she rubbed her angry red tip on the fabric, resulting more precum to spill out and more of your wetness to gush out.
With one motion your panties were next to the ripped night gown. She smeared her precum all over your slit, before pushing inside your velvety walls. A loud moan escaped your vocal cords. Your hands were gripping the sheets for dear life.
She started thrusting herself inside you roughly, hitting the sweet spongy spot inside you over and over. A ring of your wetness increasing with every thrust on her base.
She gripped your hip bone harshly, her nails piercing through your skin. While the bed rocked with every thrust of her hip.
Your ass jiggled with every movement, skin slapping sounds were echoing through the walls. While you fucked yourself back on her.
Your hips meeting each other and a loud stinging slap was landed on your ass cheek. You let out a whimper. Her hips actions were stopped at the ringing sound of her phone, and tears formed in your eyes while she let out another annoyed groan the same she let out earlier.
She picked her phone only to see that it was your mom, a rush of excitement flood through her before whispering next to your ear.
“It’s your mom, be quiet for me princess, yeah?”
You nodded hastily, putting a hand over your mouth to make sure you won’t let out a sound.
“Hi baby, everything good over there?” Yujin said in the most sickely sweet way ever, acting like she isn’t fucking her wifes daughter.
“Yeah, love. Just wanted to ask how you and y/n are doing, is everything ok?”
“Me and y/n are doing amazing, miss you so much!!” Yujin started rubbing her tip on your cervix. Why are you this quiet?? Isn’t she fucking you good enough?? She yanked your hair, a gasp came out from you. She wrapped a hand around your throat, forcing you to lay your head on her shoulder. Moans were threatening to come out from you at the way she was so soundlessly pounding your aching pussy. You weren’t paying attention to the conversation, the only thing on your mind was her hips thrusting in you.
She spit on your neck before licking a stripe up, you let out a whine. She bid her last goodbyes to your mother before hanging up. Her relentless pace was back on, her mouth was nibbling on the sensitive skin of your neck.
The pleasure was unbearable and overwhelming and with that your watery substance tried push her cock out. The clench of your pussy sent her over the edge and she spilled her seed deep inside your womb. A satisfied moan came out from your lips. Deep slumber took over the both of you.
#ahn yujin smut#ahn yujin x fem reader#ahn yujin x reader#ahn yujin#ive smut#ive ahn yujin smut#ive x fem reader#ive yujin smut#ive x reader#ive yujin#ive yujin x reader#yujin smut#yujin x reader#yujin x fem reader#yujin#ive
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you don't get it (e-1610 miles morales)
pairing: e-1610 miles x reader (unrequited)
summary: you try to understand miles, but you cant.
a/n: this is the first time i try writing something so i'm so sorry if it's bad. plz leave suggestions and stuff if ya want! also debating a part 2 but i hate this sooo i don't know yet...
you and miles grew up together. making an oath to stick together for the rest of your lives in the sandbox of a park about two blocks from miles’ apartment. and you guys sure stuck to that oath. from crying about getting sand in each other’s eyes, going through the awkward teenage phase (and miles still going through it), to being accepted into the same school. you guys were inseparable.
recently, you found out about miles’ secret vigilante identity. you didn’t take it very well and constantly scolded miles about his safety, but you were glad he chose to trust you.
of course, when it came to trust it came with knowing other stuff too… such as knowing who gwen was. and to make it even better, since you were the only person (other than ganke) that he can go on to talk about her, you became a victim of listening to the constant babble of gwen this and gwen that. you literally didn’t know how much longer you can take it, especially with those feelings of yours bubbling in your stomach.
of course… how cliché of you to be in love with your best friend of years. plus your best friend being the super oblivious miles did not make it any better.
anyways going back, you didn’t know how to tell miles that you’re in love with him without ruining your years of friendship or how to just simply ask him to shut the fuck up about gwen without hurting his feelings. you literally didn’t know how he could talk about her for hours without getting tired (although if someone asked you about miles, you would go on for ages, but that’s different) and the number of times you’ve caught him sketching her in his journal has become freaky.
you love miles but this is just getting tiring. you want things to be how they were. when you guys would sneak up to the roof and talk about the stars or sneak out to do some graffiti. now it’s just cancelled plans, late texts backs, and constant excuses. and that’s how you are now, sitting outside the steps of miles’ apartment waiting for him to arrive with the cakes for his dad’s promotion party. you look down at your phone and open it again to see if he responded.
you: hey miles im outside waiting 4 you
you: dont forget the cakes and stay safe
you: lemme know when you arrive plz
Delivered
you sighed for the twentieth time, wondering when miles was going to arrive. you just sat outside on the steps to his apartment when about ten minutes later you hear a crash. you stand and squint looking up.
“y/n! come upstairs so we can enter the rooftop together,” there was miles, head handing outside his window. you nodded your head and headed upstairs to his apartment. you didn’t even bother knocking and simply just barging into his house. walking into his room, you see miles rushing to get his shoes on.
leaning against the wall, you stared down at miles, “so what was it this time? it better be good enough that you’re late to your own father’s party”
“yes i knowww, i just got caught up doing some stuff. the villian today was super weird though and then i almost lost the cakes, but you know what? none of that matters because i’m here now!” he gave you one of his wide smiles.
you couldn’t stay serious with him when you gave you that smile. you yourself cracked a smile, shaking your head. “okay, noted. crazy day for spiderman, now hurry up and get your shoes on faster because one more minute longer and your mom is gonna freak.”
“well seems like my mom is already freaking,” miles smugly looked at you while standing up, grabbing the cakes and leaving you behind. you grumbled and just followed behind him.
arriving to the rooftop, you can already see miles’ mom looking around and as if she sensed miles, she quickly walked over to you guys.
“miles donde estabas? you’re late to your own dad’s party? y/n thank you so much for getting miles here,” miles’ brows furrowed as his mom gave you all the glory for him being there.
“mom what? i got here just fine!”
“no, thank y/n because i know she’s the responsible one out of the two of you,” you gave miles the same smug look that he gave you earlier and tilted your head a little higher.
“anyways, grab something to eat. miles, ven porque your dad and i want to talk to you for a minute” rio gave her son a look.
you simply nodded your head and strolled off to make yourself a plate. sitting down on a bench somewhere, you tried to block out and avert your gaze from miles’ parents yelling at him. you felt bad that you couldn’t do anything especially when you know so much about him that others don’t understand.
about an hour has passed since miles’ scolding and you didn’t want to approach him directly after to save him from embarrassment and allow him to take a few minutes to himself. you assumed that he went to his room and would come back in a couple minutes because you knew he wouldn’t completely miss his dad’s party.
you engaged in small conversations with miles’ cousins and family members, but after a while they left to go eat or do their own thing. resorting to scrolling through your phone and watching a couple tiktoks when you feel a tap on your shoulder.
“mija, quien es esa que esta arriba con miles?” rio tilted her head in the direction where miles was. surprising you completely, miles was on the water tower with gwen laughing and nudging each other. looking and them and snapping your head back to rio who seemed a but agitated with her eyebrows quirked up.
“uhh.. i think that’s gwanda? one of miles’ friends but she’s usually out of town. miles’ never mentioned her coming though…” you simply shrugged your shoulders. feeling a heavy weight in your stomach, you tried not to look over at them again.
approaching behind rio was jeff. he had a similar expression as rio, brows furrowed and scratching his head.
“she looks old enough to vote… and i bet she doesn’t even speak spanish,” rio kept talking about gwen which didn’t help you trying to block out the sinking feeling. jeff crossed his arms and kept looking over at them.
somehow, rio convinced you and jeff to go up to the water tower and meet gwen. now, you’ve never met gwen but you sure have heard enough about her to know that she’s not a bad person.
rio was stumbling to get up the tower and introduce herself to gwen. crashing into miles slightly, not caring a bit if she interrupted anything. “hello! i’m miles’ mom,”
“rio! i’ve heard so much about you!” immediately hearing those words come out of gwen’s mouth, you winced. you knew that rio was not about having first name bases with any one of miles’ friends. you glanced over at miles’ expression who seemed a bit worried.
looking at the interaction was a bit odd and very awkward, especially with you standing next to miles’ parents doing nothing. you didn’t want to make a move to introduce yourself either, you didn’t know if there was anything for you to say really. honestly rio’s jokes weren’t making it any better either. hearing “don’t take him from me.. oh! you can’t cause he’s grounded haha” and “don’t break his heart” coming from rio’s mouth was just making you want to get bitten by a spider so you can turn invisible in that moment.
gwen trying to escape the moment made up that she needed to get her steps in and go. turning around to give miles a handshake, she glanced over, noticing you in the corner. not wanting to be rude, you just gave a wave. she gave you a small smile until taking off down the stairs.
once she left, jeff also left to return to the party leaving miles, rio, and you behind. miles ignored both of your presence and leaned against the railing, shoving his face into his hands. you went up to miles and rubbed his back.
“i’m sorry miles,” he glanced over at you and gave a sigh. you looked over you shoulder and looked at rio. she seemed to be thinking. deciding to give miles and his mom a little time to talk, heart to heart, you descended down the stairs.
looking down at the city below you, millions of thoughts run through your mind. almost all of them being about miles. you wanted to help him, you wanted to be there for him in every way, but you just don’t seem enough. you didn’t know what to do and you don’t want to try to seem understanding when you have absolutely no idea what he’s going through. you just want him to feel at peace with you. there’s nothing you want more in the world than seeing miles happy. although the feeling in your stomach of knowing that miles’ happiness lies with gwen and not with you just made you nauseous, you knew you had to let him go. but, before you let him go… maybe you’ll try.
seeing miles and his mom done talking, you see miles about to leave. getting a feel of adrenaline through your veins, you ran after him before he managed to take a step down the stairs.
“miles! where are you going?” you cocked your head to the side.
“i’m going after gwen. there’s something going on and i’m going to follow after her,” he tapped his feet and glanced around as if he’s if a rush.
“wait, miles what? you’re leaving? do you even know where you’re going?”
“no, but i know that i’m needed y/n. i gotta go now like i have this feeling.”
“wait so you’re skipping out on your dad’s celebration for a girl?”
“n- no! there’s something going on and i need to fix it” miles was starting to squirm eager to put on his suit and swing through the city.
“is there gonna be a day where you live for yourself? i understand that you’re spiderman and you help out the people, but you can’t be doing this constantly miles. you’re a highschool student and have so m-”
“no, you don’t understand! no one understands! but there are people out there who will-”
“c’mon miles, don’t be like that. i know i don’t exactly understand because i was bitten by a spider or anything, but i’m trying to understand through you and being there for you!” the tone in your voice starts getting a bit higher.
“i just learned that there’s a way for me to see other people who are just like me! i need to go!”
“you know what miles? go. i’m trying so hard to be supportive but-”
“well you’re not. i don’t want to escalate this any farther. i’m going… bye y/n” before you could respond miles ran down the stairs leaving you with a lump in your throat. you didn’t want to start anything, you just wanted miles to try to get a piece of normality within his crazy spider life.
sighing once more, you decided to sit on the ledge and look off into the distance wondering how you were gonna fix it between you two.
#miles x reader#miles morales x reader#miles morales x you#across the spider verse#earth 1610 miles morales x reader#1610!miles morales x reader#miles molares#astv miles#miles morales x reader angst#miles morales x y/n#x reader#x y/n#earth 1610#across the spider verse spoilers#across the spiderverse#spider man: across the spider verse
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˗ˏˋ realistic hi-lo the worst shitty dating canons࿐ྂ
notes: this is just for fun(fiction), plz don’t take is seriously. inspired by this post cuz me and my fellow delulu moots need to get it together, might do a pt 2 if I feel like it
warnings: some mention of nsfw, mentions of cheating, friends with benefits, mentions of choking, brief mention of kinks, toxic behaviour, periods, mentions of gaslighting and emotional manipulation, major delulu behaviour for the sachio one(I failed I’m sorry), I think I did Ryo and Kōhei dirty in this one but who cares
-ˏˋ fujio ˊˎ
He’s definitely a “where’s my hug at” kind of guy even after you both start dating
I’m just gonna say it right now, Tsukasa knows too much about your sex life
you got some weird kink?
called him “sir” by accident or like being choked or some shit like that?
Tsukasa knows (he doesn’t want to know but that’s beside the point)
He reminds me too much of my crush so this guy will definitely be flirting with everything and anything with a beating heart even if you’re dating him
Playboy fr
While you guys are in your lil talking stage he sends your picture to the gc for validation that he’s dating a pretty girl
They all want to warn you cuz you look nice but bro code comes first
Would definitely buy you menstrual products without batting an eye
His mom taught him better than to be grossed out
She’s a single mom which makes Fujio probably more respectful than the other guys around him
Does those cute couple tiktok trends with you
Talking to a bunch of girls while dating you
I don’t mean like cheating but he’s flirting too much with other ppl
Fujio doesn’t mean to flirt but he’s like super fucking friendly for no reason and is genuinely really nice so it comes off as flirting
Calls you baby, babe, princess anything really
Doesn’t look like he can keep his hands to himself
Spends time staring at you cuz you’re really pretty
Definitely the kind of guy that acts tough in front of his friends but is actually the little spoon
Unlike most the characters in this, he’s actually really sweet
But he enjoys his freedom
Is NOT the kind of guy that will let his friends make fun of you
He’s actually a pretty good listener
Will not help you with your homework cuz he didn't do it and wasn't paying attention
Has a very subtle couple picture of both of you as his lockscreen
Would 4.5/10 listen to his friends if they tell him to break up with you
-ˏˋ tsukasa ˊˎ
Cold, like super cold brrrrr kinda cold
Also a playboy like Fujio
I mean come on, look at him
Everyone loves pretty guys that look like girls with deep voices
Pretty privilege and he uses the fuck out of it
Definitely not a cheater but kinda toxic
Lies when he doesn’t really need to
Unironically calls you “pretty girl” when you’re mad
Does he actually like you?
You’ll never know
Honestly he seems like the kind of guy that’s only ever had like 1 girlfriend and all the rest are his hoes
He gets away with so much just cuz he’s good looking
I feel like he’d have your location but you don’t have his
Probably only started dating him cuz he’s pretty and he only dated you cuz he’s bored
He gives you skin care tips
Pretty guys are usually pretty freaky if you know what I mean
Doesn’t look like he can keep his hands to himself just like Fujio
He’s very mysterious and that’s what attracts people to him
Probably gets bored pretty quick tbh
You’re not gonna see him often because “bros before hoes”
But he values his private life so if he does genuinely like you he will only later tell his friends about it
Unlike Fujio, no one will no about your sex life
I think he’d be more on the possessive side tbh
So he won’t keep you as his lockscreen or ever post you (cuz why tf does anyone need to know who you are?)
If he actually wants the relationship to be serious, that’s when he’ll drop his hoes
Spends time staring at you like Fujio cuz he thinks your pretty
Will 1/10 breakup with you if his friends told him too
-ˏˋ todoroki ˊˎ
worst bf in existence (1/3) I’m (not) sorry
Probably hasn’t dated a lot but has a lot of hoes if you get what I mean
Tbh I’d be such a whore for Todoroki
He doesn’t think he’s all that good looking but girls seem to like him a lot and he takes advantage of it
Doesn’t really need his friends validation nor does he date because everyone else is and he doesn’t wanna be the one left out,, he doesn't give a fuck if he is
Mfer dates cuz he’s bored
if he actually likes you, no one will know who you are so forget the whole aspect of being shown off
you're basically his secret
You post him, he won't post you (lol tbh I wouldn't post my bf either,, maybe a pic of our hands but never his face)
Probably won't call you a pet name but maybe call you the nickname you're called at home if you have one or the same nickname your friends call you if they call you one
Definitely prioritizes fighting and the fucking Oya High leader ship more than you
You hate it but he's hot
does he actually like you?
You probably won't know
rarely actually pays attention to you
but when he does you have ALL his attention
tbh I see him dating someone low-maintenance where he doesn't have too put much effort in
not that toxic, just doesn't know how to fucking communicate
1/10 would breakup with you if his friends asked him too (doesn't need to validation)
-ˏˋ sachio ˊˎ
definitely an actual good boyfriend
I get major husband vibes from him (maybe cuz I'm super delulu for sachio but that's not the point)
not a red flag or toxic at all but somethings can be questionable
NOT the type to talk shit about his exes because he's mature enough to know problems can come from both sides
Yes I am picking favourites, my babes satchi can do nothing wrong
definitely gave you flowers the first valentines day you two were together for
honestly though,, like Todoroki, I doubt this guy would show you off too
Satchi seems to paranoid for his own good so don't expect to be going out in public with him
He's got a sister and I'm assuming(from popular headcanons) his dad passed away so his mom is alone,, therefore he had to be the man of the house
So he doesn't really give a fuck about periods
very knowledgeable about them tbh
seems like the kind of boyfriend that will gladly drive you and your friends around because he genuinely wants to be a part of your life and he thinks all of you are shitty ass drivers
friends with your friends because he wants to be apart of your life
Also takes what your friends say about you with a grain of salt because he knows all of you are ride of die type of ppl and they'd gladly lie for you to him
family oriented fr
went to ikea with you
you both are basically married
I'm so delulu for this guy omg
I don't see him as flirty
Doesn't pick up the signs when another girl is flirting with him and sometimes you think he's playing dumb on purpose
clingy mfer
you have each other's locations on
his contact name for you is just "♡" cuz no one needs to know your name
I'm not even kidding none of his friends will know who you are until maybe a long long time later
possessive but on the lowkey cuz he knows you value your freedom
Tbh I'm not even being delulu here, Sachio just genuinely seems like a really good guy
(not saying the rest aren't they're just very questionable)
long story short, I am his whore and I couldn't write anything actually realistic for him
0/10 would breakup with you if his friends asked him to
-ˏˋ yuken ˊˎ
I see him very similar to Fujio
Excpet Yuken knows he's being flirty
he flirts with other people on purpose cuz it's a bad habit now
also has major pretty privilege like Tsukasa
also uses the fuck out it
Jinkawa or maybe Shidaken or Sachio also know too much about your sex life
Like about that mole you got on your ass or some weird shit
they also unfortunately know about your kinks
It's like Fujio but in a different font
lets you do his hair and in return gets to do yours
doesn't know the definition of toxic masculinity so he will very gladly let you do his makeup
and sometimes his nails
Once again, not a cheater and actually not toxic
I already said he's like Fujio so this guy is gonna just be super flirty with everyone and everything with a beating heart
If compulsive flirting is a disorder then Yuken suffers from it
I wouldn't say he's a bad boyfriend but he flirts too much with other people and a lot of people consider that as cheating
Yuken seems like a pretty good listener
But he also likes talking a lot so be prepared to listen to his problems
lets you wear his glasses sometimes
When he's not busy he comes to your school to get you so you can go on dates
likes having all your attention
arcade dates are probably the most common
but he outshines out girls boyfriends ther by getting those girls stuffed animals and shit like that
I would say he's really a lot like Fujio
4/10 would breakup with you if his friends told him to
-ˏˋ kōhei ˊˎ
worst boyfriend in existence (2/3)
I doubt he even actually likes you
A complete asshole but you love that cuz you’re a lowkey masochist and red is your favourite colour
Randomly turns off his location and tells you “don’t worry about it” when you ask
Red flag (but in my culture we wear red at our weddings)
Doesn’t give you the time of day
is probably only dating you cuz you're hot and give him head or some shit
idk this guy is just really shitty
He's hot tho lol
gives me group leader kind of vibes
you never wanna date the leader of the group, they're always the shittest
his friends will never ever tell you the truth
I lowkey see him as a cheater tbh
and a gaslighter
"It was such a small thing and now look you've turned it into something huge when it doesn't even matter" type of guy
Just a fucking asshole
If you're with him I'm just gonna assume you're into pain or something
Or using him for his money (if yes then get that bag sis)
He also thinks you're with him for his money
If you actually aren't using him, it doesn't matter he just has major trust issues
good luck actually getting through to him
In the hypothetical situation where he actually likes you, prepared to be shown off
I see him as a very pda type of guy to show off how hot his girlfriend is to make others feel inferior
Probably won't give a fuck about what you're wearing if that is the case
he's also toxic asf idk if I mentioned that
Probably doesn't call you petname unless you're mad at him
7/10 would breakup with you if his friends told him to
-ˏˋ ryo ˊˎ
worst boyfriend in existence (3/3)
i did him and kōhei so dirty I'm not sorry
Loves Kōhei more than you
As hot as he is, let's be fucking honest with ourselves because part of the reason Kōhei thought he was so unbeatable was because of Ryo
Ryo let Kōhei get away with so much shit
and this hot ass mfer jsut seems like the type to listen to his friends and constantly need their validation
as hot as he is, plz don't date a guy like this
But unlike Kōhei, he's not a cheater
but he's pretty toxic
like he needs to know where you are all the damn time
crazy paranoid too
doesn't think you'll actually cheat but it's more his friends telling him you would
for him too be a good boyfriend he need to get new friends or like idk transfer schools
he definitely likes you, it's just he's so emotionally constipated that you can't tell if he actually does
only calls you petnames in private
I don't see him as the type to have hoes or flirt around
But that doesn't mean he'd be a good boyfriend
He lives for his friends validation
So if his friends make fun of you or talk shit, don't count on Ryo to defend you cuz he'll be laughing too
not a gaslighter but doesn't admit to the things he does and just tells you to leave it in the past
pisses you off but he's hot asf
tries to spend time with you but would leave your for his friends fr
102902/10 would breakup with you if Kōhei his friends asked him too
#high&low#high&low the worst x#high & low#high and low#oya high#high&low the worst#high&low the worst cross#high&low dating headcanons#high and low x reader#high and low the worst x#high and low the worst#senomen#housen#sachio ueda#hanaoka fujio#tsukasa takajo#todoroki yosuke#yuken odajima#ryo suzaki#kohei amagai
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i don't much know tmc so i hope this makes sense, but 65 for adam and jonah and friendly alternate reader? maybe it goes the way you laid out in your original post, where the events of volume 2 make them distrust reader briefly and the fic is set in the aftermath?
Good idea! Also this is slightly different from how I wrote those hcs, but the general idea is still there!
65) "I didn't mean it...please forgive me."
.......
While waiting for your human friends to finish their investigation inside the house, you remained in the van that you all arrived in, trying your best to remain patient.
You would have much rather accompanied them, knowing of the dangers present....however the fragile trust you've formed with the two was close to shattering.
Preacher arrived without any warning on the second night, and you caught her whispering things to Adam while he was trying to get some sleep. Jonah was wide awake and had the misfortune of seeing her face-to-face before he hid somewhere, allowing you to confront her.
Although you succeeded in driving her off by pretending that they were your victims to claim, he wildly misinterpreted your actions and believed you summoned her here to kill them both. He didn't believe your ruse for a second, as he freaked out on you and demanded you to get out.
In fear of triggering a panic attack in the already frightened boy, you just quietly left, but stayed inside the van to ensure that no other Alternates could interfere with the radio signal or hijack it.
Yet as the minutes dragged on, you grew more and more worried about their well being.
Preacher easily believed your lie--considering Alternates were master manipulators--so she won't be coming back anytime soon...but you didn't like the thought of leaving those two all by themselves.
Sometime later you saw the front door open, and you teleported out of the van, finding Jonah standing there. He appeared unharmed, much to your relief.
However that's when you noticed only he emerged from the house..Adam was nowhere in sight.
"Jonah, are you alright? Where's Adam?"
"Th-The basement door opened..and he wanted to check it out. I-I told him not to, but he wouldn't listen!" He panicked, before he suddenly fell silent as his expression turned to a hateful scowl--aimed at you. "I bet you opened it, didn't you? Or was it your freaky lady friend?"
"That was neither my doing nor hers. And she's not my "lady friend"." You huffed, wishing he'd stop accusing you. "Why did you leave him all alone in there? It's too dangerous."
"He doesn't know the first thing about "danger". You don't think I've been trying to tell him these ghost hunts are gonna get us killed one day?! It's like he doesn't even hear me! We both know his mom is dead and he's looking for something that's not actually there..but god forbid I ever tell him that. I'm just sick of him getting pissed off at me for wanting to fucking live."
"I understand your frustration, but..leaving him behind is not the solution here." You tried to reason with him. "To my knowledge that's not how friends should treat each other, even if they-"
"I'm not sure if I even see him as my "friend" anymore." He scoffed, hugging himself as the air grew chillier. "He literally screamed at me to leave, [y/n]. So that's what I'm doing. I don't give a shit about him or the fame or the money anymore. I'm done. I'm going back home. Alone."
Hoping to put this conversation to rest, Jonah stormed past you and hopped into the driver's seat, trying to start the engine...but it wasn't turning on at all.
He tried hotwiring it as well--to no avail.
"Shit, [y/n]..are you doing this?" He glanced at you, annoyed. "Are you screwing with the transmission?"
"........."
"C'mon, I'm not in the mood for-"
"We cannot leave him behind, child." You insisted. As much as you hated to anger your friend, this was the only way he'll listen. "Is this truly how you wish to end things between you two?"
"I'm not a child, I'm a grown ass man. And I've made my choice, and he made his."
"It doesn't have to be that way. I can still help you both-"
"If you're so insistent on "helping" me, you'll let me start this goddamn car and stay out of my life!!" Jonah slammed his hands on the steering wheel, but unfortunately for him, you weren't about to give into his childish tantrum.
"The only way I can help you is by NOT letting you leave." You shook your head, trying to stay calm and logical. "There is no running away anymore, Jonah. If the others realize you are all by yourself...they will come for you, including him."
"...wait, how do you know he'll show up?" He blinked.
"Because...I've known him since our creation. I'm aware of his patterns. Your government calls him Intruder, children call him Stanley....we call him Six. His connection with technology knows no boundaries, including radios and GPS, so it's imperative that I'm here to stop him from- "
"Oh, so you've been bffs with that child kidnapper since the dawn of time...and you're telling me he could've been fucking eavesdropping on all our conversations regarding BPS?!!"
"I.." For a moment you tensed up, realizing you may have said too much. "No, Jonah. That's not what-"
"Damn, I wish I knew all of that before we decided to trust you." Tears welled up in his eyes again, threatening to spill over. "Adam never should've let you come along. I told him he was making a huge mistake letting you out of that TV..and guess who was right?!!"
Your nonexistent heart sunk slightly at his words.
"Jonah, please calm down. You're not thinking-"
You tried setting a comforting hand on his shoulder, but he violently smacked it away before your claws could even graze his jacket.
"DON'T FUCKING TOUCH ME!! You're all the same....you're a bunch of heartless, lying, demonic bastards who destroyed our lives and made our loved ones kill themselves!!" He choked out. "You've taken everything from us...a-and if it weren't for you....THEN MAYBE ADAM WOULD STILL BE ALIVE RIGHT NOW!!"
You physically flinched at his screaming, having never seen a human look so enraged...yet sorrowful at the same time. The emotions emanating from him were quite powerful, and when he stopped to take several deep breaths, you needed a moment to absorb them all.
But seeing as you didn't immediately leave, Jonah felt his resolve completely crumble as he gritted his teeth together, trying to stop his sobs from escaping..only for them to come out as small hiccups and gasps.
"J-Just stop pretending to care, alright? Go and...a-and leave me be." Tears streaked down his face as he clutched the steering wheel with trembling hands, laying his head on it as he tried muffling his sobs.
He felt like he just gave himself M.A.D with how badly he felt like dying right now.
Although you were initially stunned by his emotions going from one extreme to the other so quickly, you snapped out your shock and frowned slightly at his distraught state.
'He's so young...and has gone through far too much...'
You gently reached over to set your hand on his back, feeling his entire body trembling beneath your fingertips. Surprisingly enough, he didn't shove your comfort away this time as he was too busy scrubbing away his tears.
You understood that he didn't actually mean those hurtful things. He just needed to lash out after all the stress of these past few nights, and you so happened to be the closest person--whose species is the very cause of his anxieties.
"[Y/n]..I-I..I know you're not like the others. It's just...I'm so lost and I'm so fucking scared to lose one more friend...!" His voice cracked. "I-I don't wanna lose him.."
"I know, my little fish.." You soothed. "I know your heart and mind are deeply troubled. I know you're very afraid...but rest assure, I will not let anything bad happen to either of you. Whatever you think of my kind is fine, but please understand that I would never pretend to care for your safety. It is...my purpose to protect you both from their evil ways."
"..a-according to who?"
"Me. Not my "Savior" or anybody else." Taking your hand off his back, you stepped away as he finally looked up at you. His eyes were wet and tinted red from crying so hard, but through blurred vision he could see you offering your hand. "Come, let us seek out Adam. I sense he is still alive."
With a small nod, Jonah grasped your hand so you could help him out of the van, though as soon as you let him go....he hugged you unexpectedly.
You blinked, looking down at him in confusion. "Jonah? Is everything okay?"
"Y-Yeah, I...I'm just sorry about what I said to you." He sniffled quietly, his forehead pressed to your chest. "I didn't mean it..please forgive me. You know how I tend to say stupid shit when I'm scared and-"
"You needn't justify yourself, my friend. I absolve you." You smiled as you patted his head. "I have gotten worse insults in my lifetime, so they don't affect me as much."
"Good to know. Also...why did you call me "little fish"? I don't hate it or anything, but I was wondering."
"Ah, because you remind me of some...old friends, we'll say. Were you ever told the story of Jonah and the Whale?"
"...uh-"
"What ever happened to "I won't be here to confirm that"?"
The moment was cut short as Jonah suddenly let you go, looking back to see Adam emerge from the house completely unharmed. He had the camcorder and other equipment in his arms, and an annoyed expression on his face.
As he approached the van, he stopped short upon seeing the other male, blinking in bewilderment. "Were you crying?"
"..n-no, it's the allergies. I told you it's that damn cat's fault.." After making a point to wipe his eyes, Jonah shoved his hands into his pockets. "So um...what did you find in that basement?"
"Just an old TV. And you're right about that cat..it was actually an Alternate. But I got some other good footage, so I'm ready to bail."
"What about staying-?"
"We'll tell the lady we stayed all three nights." Adam shrugged. "It's not like she'll know."
"Oh, so now you listen?"
"....look, this shit's getting heavy. So if you don't mind-"
"I'll help." You spoke up, disliking this growing tension in the air as you took the heavier equipment away from Adam and loaded up the van with it.
But still, you refused to allow it to start, and Jonah knew exactly why.
He couldn't just act like he didn't have that huge fight with his friend only a short time ago, so they both talked for a few minutes, apologizing to one another and hugging it out.
When they heard the engine crank on, they immediately rushed towards the van...only to see you sitting behind the wheel, much to their confusion.
They didn't know Alternates could drive.
"You kids had a rough few nights. I'll take us wherever you desire to go." You offered.
"Jeez, since when did we have our own chaperone?" Adam rolled his eyes, but opted to climb into the back while Jonah called shotgun. "I guess we owe you an apology too, right?"
"Well..Jonah and I talked it out already, but I forgive you both."
"Yeah...I still feel like shit, though."
"Dude," the brunette huffed. "What did you say to them?"
Jonah opened his mouth to speak, but thought better of it as he didn't wanna bring up the harsh words he said out of frustration and anxiety. Instead he just shook his head. "I-It doesn't matter. Let's just get outta here and go for some pizza."
"I would very much like that." You agreed, backing out of the driveway and heading down the main road.
"And....as thanks for putting up with our bullshit, we'll let you pick the toppings this time."
"What?!" Adam's jaw dropped, but your smile only grew, and he had no choice but to relent.
It was certainly something to think about on the way to the pizza shop you all knew and loved.
#leave it to alternate y/n to break the canon /ref#clanask#anonymous#mandela catalogue x reader#the mandela catalogue x reader#tmc x reader#alternate reader#alternate y/n#adam murray#jonah marshall#platonic#hurt/comfort#angst/horror prompt
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Yuurivoice boys watching a horror movie with their listeners. How would that go, and what movie are they watching?
Horror Movies HC's
Alphonse:
SNACKS ARE TOP PRIORITY!!
He is down to watch any movie but I feel like one he really likes is Jeepers Creepers.
His mom 10000% was a horror movie over and loved that movie.
Al will watch like cheesy ones too like the ones that are super dumb.
Also he's snuggled right up on your side watching the movie.
Seth:
I feel like psychological horror movies fuck with him more so he watches those.
Jessie loved Jason and Freddy Crouger, so when its a horror movie night Seth watched them when he was younger to feel like she was there.
But he would love Midsommar, like the cult shit freaked him tf out. That or Hereditary.
Also pillowfort is a must, bc you need max comfort to watch a good movie.
Has his arm wrapped around you in case you need to hold him!
Charlie:
I feel like Charlie isn't that big of a horror movie fan but he'll watch some with Cas when they want to.
He was deathly afraid of Chucky but now older, when watching it again he makes fun of the people who didn't lick the fuckin doll.
Also loves commenting on stuff, good if you like chatting but if needed shut him up with a kiss.
I feel like he likes watching documentary horror movies like the Blair witch project or As above so below.
Holding your hand and the other one is in a big popcorn bag.
Faust:
I feel like he doesn't like horror movies that much bc he can predict what's gonna happen.
But he also likes the movies that fuck with your head, like Marrowbone.
He likes eating crunchy snacks while watching movies.
He feels bad when he connects everything together and speaks out loud bc it ruins the movie sometimes but unless you ask what he thinks will happen he'll tell you.
Legs are lapped over yours as you share a blanket.
Finn:
LOVES HORROR MOVIES (personal hc) his grandma def made him watch old horror movies to show him classics.
Has old tapes and player so you can watch what he watched when younger.
Gets snacks and makes drinks so you both can enjoy the movie
A nightmare on Elm Street gives me his vibes or even The shining.
Sitting right next to you, he gets really into the movie so if you wanna hold hands or something you gotta do it first.
Auron:
Like Faust can't enjoy horror movies bc he predicts everything.
I feel like he's one of those crazy people that doesn't eat anything while watching a movie.
Prefers to watch movies at home then go to a theater since they just want money, but if you want too he will plan a date at one.
Children of the Corn, Pet Sematary, the Conjuring and RING are horror movies he likes watching.
Likes having your legs on him and you laying your body on him while holding your thigh too.
Lucien:
Will laugh at anyone who dies, also will critique the demon horror movies like Drag me to Hell.
I feel like he likes the horror movies that could happen in real life like the purge.
Makes his own snacks and your bc you both should feast like kings while watching someone die in a hella dumb way.
Since he's only been in the human realm for a while he'll watch anything.
Laying down in the couch slightly, like sitting up enough to eat comfortably, won't care if you lay or sit on him he can handle it.
Jack:
Like Finn he likes older horror movies but will watch new ones too!
I can feel that he might like psychological horror too like The Grass, Get out, The strangers and Rub Rabbit.
I feel like he only eats soft things while watching movies. Also drinks water rather than a flavored drink.
Since Jack is busy with side jobs he makes sure to have one day out of the week to watch moves with you!
Sitting next to you not touching bc he use to watch so many horror moves with Finn growing up. Just like Finn if you wanna hold hands either hold his or tell him!
•♡•♡•♡•♡•♡•♡•♡•♡•♡•♡•♡•♡•♡•♡•♡•♡•♡•♡•
I RECOMMEND EVERY MOVIE I SAID HERE! Especially Midsommar bc it's so fuckin freaky. Also the Marrowbone is a good one too! I love horror movies but hate how I predict everything but when I tried printing this one it surprised me with the twist at the end!
Also if there's a movie you think the YV boys would watch comment!
#red rants#yuurivoice#yuurivoice auron#yuurivoice alphonse#yuurivoice seth#yuurivoice charlie#yuurivoice faust#yuurivoice lucien#yuurivoice jack
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Where do I know you from? 4/?
Hangster crackfic. There are too many Jakes and Bradleys for Jake and Bradley to be dealing with. Or the Universe is just as fed up with them being blind.
PART ONE PART TWO PART THREE
PART FOUR
Jake is still trying to not imagine Maverick and Cyclone together, although Three and Five are of course asking more questions. Jake doesn’t know if he’s imagining it, but the rate at which new Roosters are arriving seems to have picked up. Twelve and Thirteen arrive together and they’re both older. Bradshaw still looks good, especially the one in uniform, but the one not in uniform is making a beeline for him, looking worried.
“Jake. Are you okay? This has to be really fucking weird for you.”
“Yeah. Very weird.”
“You’ll be okay. I mean, you time travelled in my universe so –”
“He what now?” Three, Five and Eight all exclaim, and Thirteen looks a little taken aback at the response from them all.
“Just Jake travelled… not me.”
“Nothing freaky happened where I’m from, if that helps…” Twelve states.
Three and Five, along with Eight who just watches go back to their spreadsheet, asking the two new arrivals the standard questions he’s heard a few times now. Jake has also noticed that the ticks in the naval aviator column are also increasing, although Rooster Thirteen has an asterisk by it. Fourteen has arrived and is listening in horror as DADT is explained to him, because it somehow wasn’t a thing where he comes from. His Maverick and Iceman were together since the Eighties. Which seems to be normal judging by the way Three and Five react, despite them having DADT.
“A lot of me are naval aviators. Interesting.”
“Why’s that?”
“Well, my mom didn’t want me to be a pilot. Seems like I went against that wish in a lot of different universes.”
“Oh…” Jake says, because he cannot imagine a Rooster that doesn’t fly. “He’s the best of the best.”
“Have you told him that?”
“Of course not,” Jake replies, rolling his eyes and Three bumps his shoulder again in a friendly gesture. “I can’t imagine him not flying.”
“Oh, I fly. I’m just not a fighter pilot.”
“Same. Mav started teaching me when I was like, fourteen,” Five states.
Three and Five seem to have a lot in common, even if there is about an eight inch height difference.
“Hangman. You look good.”
“I am good…” Jake says automatically, and it feels almost right, but this Rooster, number Fifteen now, is looking at him like he already knows all of Jake’s secrets and he doesn’t know if he’s a fan.
“Hmm… you are,” Bradley says, stepping right up against him and his Rooster would never. He’s pretty sure his Rooster would only help him out of obligation. Or payback for saving his life. “You blush very prettily, but I better leave that for your Rooster to find that out hmm?”
“You know what, you can go and sit with number ten,” Jake states, pointing to the pool table where he banned Ten to. “I’m sure the both of you will get on great.”
Of course, there are universes where Rooster is even more confident and walking -sex-on-a-stick, but Jake has limits. And they are being stretched.
“Want me to go tell him to back off?” Thirteen asks and Jake shakes his head. He kind of likes the way Thirteen seems to be looking out for him, and he doesn’t want to explore why he feels like he needs to do that. Fucking time travel.
Sixteen arrives with Seventeen. Sixteen is simply in service khakis, looks comfortable entering the Hard Deck. Seventeen on the other hand… Jake’s mouth goes dry. Seventeen is wearing cowboy boots and hat and he looks like a fucking wet dream and Jake didn’t realize this was a thing he had, and he’s sure he actually doesn’t, but on Rooster it’s just too much…
Because the universe hates him Eighteen walks in wearing an almost identical get-up, but with a whip swinging from his hip and Jake lets out a little whimpering sound, holds out his hand and makes a grabby gesture to Six for another drink. Fortunately Six is forthcoming and Jake throws it back gratefully. Two Roosters dressed like cowboys. Not just dressed like it but they also seem comfortable and capable and Jake cannot cope with this.
“Oh. Now there is a look I wouldn’t have thought I could carry off, but I look good…” Ten says; he and Fifteen have come to watch the door, because the door does not even close before another Rooster is walking through it, which is why they’re almost arriving in pairs now; one of them sometimes holding the door for the other. He’s starting to lose track of who is who, the number of identical uniforms and almost identical faces making the job a lot more difficult. Three and Five are also starting to look a little overwhelmed, which he doesn’t find reassuring at all.
“You said you know your Bradley. I think we should maybe either get him to come here or we go to his place.”
“How am I meant to transport twenty people?”
“Hound isn’t around?” Rooster Nineteen, maybe, asks, eyebrow raised in question and Jake shakes his head.
“Who the fuck is Hound?” Jake asks, because it sounds like a callsign.
“Just my Universe then…”
“Apparently.”
PART FIVE
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Au where Eddie and Henry swap bodies (based off a movie i watched recently).
I love a good body swap.
For those who don't know the movie freaky, it's basically about a serial killer who body swaps with a teenage girl. I decided to take the body swap horror concept and use it on Eddie and Henry.
In this au, Henry is not given back his knife by Patrick, but steals a knife he finds just laying around the library, little did he know that Mike had picked up this knife because it has magical properties. It's a native american artifact that was once utalized to infiltrate warring tribes, and can swap the bodies of the murderer and victim. When he stabs Eddie with it they both get injured and pass out, only for Henry to wake up surrounded by the losers club and Eddie in Henry's car. Henry is now in Eddie's body and Eddie is in Henry's, and naturally this creates some feal fucking problems.
Eddie can't really go anywhere because he looks exactly like the escaped mental patient on the news, and Henry is fully preparing to utalize this to stealthily kill the losers club. Eddie can't even warn them because... well, to them he's Bowers, they'll literally attack him if he goes near them.
Eventually he does convince them one by one, with Richie being convinced after he tells "Henry" he can't be Eddie cause his mom isn't fat enough and Eddie tells him "FUCK YOU" and everything clicks.
After the inital shock, the losers club realize the severity of the situation and that they only have about six hours to track Henry down (who's basically on a killing spree), stab him, and switch them back before it becomes permanent. Still, despite the grave seriousness they get into some hijinks along the way.
Eddie and Richie seem to be in a competition of who can make the other more uncomfortable in this situation, with Richie calling him Henry any chance he can get and Eddie hugging him A LOT. And of course Richie Tozier wouldn't be Richie Tozier with out asking "soo... how big is it?" while Eddie's using the bathroom. They also get into a big wrestling match over a pair of scissors because Richie REFUSES to let Eddie cut off that mullet, despite Eddie's insistence it probably has cock roaches and unnamed diseases in it, it's much more funny if he keeps it.
Henry's having some of his own hijinks, Myra repeatedly calls him and when he finally picks it up out of curiosity and she yells at him there's a loooong pause of silence, followed by him hanging up and throwing Eddie's phone in the lake. He also gives Eddie a whole new makeover, complete with leather jacket and sunglasses.
Richie is literally losing his mind over here, because on one hand, Eddie telling him he's gonna slit his throat is very hot, but he's Henry, with on the other hand, Eddie's personality is still so attractive, but he LOOKS LIKE HENRY. The love of his life looks like the guy who called him the f slur and he's just supposed to be fine with it!?
Eddie's not really having a good time in this body, he can't run for shit, everything smells like juicy fruit and clorox bleach, he looks homeless, and he can't really do anything with out it looking ridiculous, but there are SOME things about it he's having fun with.
For instance, he hasn't had fast food in literal years since he married Myra, usually just buying it for her and eating a salad or something, but he can eat whatever he wants now and does so! Which Richie makes fun of him for too ("Jeez HENRY, you sure are hogging those oreos. Keep doing that and you won't even fit in your shitty sleeveless t-shirts anymore.").
Eddie also cites how it's kinda nice after spending his whole life being pushed around or coddled, people find him intimidating and ""scary"". He doesn't enjoy scaring people, but it's nice not having people wanna fuck with you cause you look passive and easy to trick.
I'll post more about this au later on, this drawing took 11 hours in ibis paint but i think it was worth it. :) i hope you sincerely like the drawing and the au. @hatchetblogging
#it 2017#it chapter 1#it chapter 2#gay clown movie#it stephen king#it 1990#henry bowers#eddie kaspbrak#richie tozier#bowers gang#reddie#reddie au#it au#it 2019
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I absolutely adore your DickJay fics, scenarios, and thoughts! They're so fun. I am curious, though. What are your headcanons on the other Bats reaction/opinions on their relationship? What members are supportive? Do any of them disapprove?
Oh, anon. The way my thoughts scattered every which way with this hahaha. We've got a little bit of everything here; vibes separated by bullet points. ٩(๑ơలơ)۶♡
Bruce
Simultaneously overprotective and aggressively supportive; wars with himself over how his dear boy is defiling his darling baby boy and like, he doesn't know how he feels about it. On the one hand, fuck Dick. On the other, there's no one that Bruce trusts more with Jason. So. Both earnest and begrudging acceptance.
'Don't get weird about it,' Jason says. Only Bruce gets weird about it anyway. Just so intense that it's embarrassing. Fuck forbid Bruce remembers his own anniversaries, but he'll send reminder texts to them both and send them congratulatory flowers or champagne the day of. Just weirdly involved despite keeping to the fringes.
Forever oblivious. Doesn't matter what precarious situation he catches dickjay in, it never registers. 'World's greatest detective' title revoked.
Pragmatic. Uncaring so long as it doesn't impact work. Seemingly indifferent, but would capitalize on what relationship can mean for his mission. Would probably try to use Dick to manipulate Jason.
Not supportive. No blessings given. Unfortunately this sort of situation feels more like Bruce holding onto grievances with Jason and not trusting him to not corrupt Dick's morals (though like, lbr; Dick doing a lot of corruption/defilement in his own right lol).
Tim
Accepting, supportive, but also very done with these two morons because dickjay harass him with their shenanigans (intentional and not); so tired.
The above, but Tim is sort of into it (freaky freaky (*°∀°)=3)
Pragmatic. Would play their feelings for each other to his favor. Not usually in a negative way, but not above it. Generally indifferent to the feels, just sees the utility in it.
Damian
Protective of Dick (but supportive)
Protective of Jason (begrudgingly supportive after a period of failed attempts to sabotage Dick hahaha; just a whole jealousy thing because Jason is Damian's and Dick is infringing on what isn't his and Damian's patience is short and his tolerance at the end of its rope so help him Grayson, Damian will fuck him up if he fucks Jason - sorry, fucks up Jason in any way).
Protective of both and at a standstill because of it (still supportive, but too many shovel talks too little time).
Oblivious. Just oblivious.
The above would be fun in a fic where father dearest, world's greatest detective, is also oblivious lol. It runs in the family.
Devastated, but bears the heartache well (unrequited crush on Jason)
Have I made it apparent that I really like Damian crushing on Jason? Because I do. Weird place to ask but if anyone has a fic rec with this premise (bottom!Jason if anything veers that way lol) then like, yes please??
Adamant supporter because it's like his second dad/mom are hooking up. Dick and Jason are the only people worthy of each other in Damian's eye, so it works. This Damian is having a good time, given Bruce won't make an honest woman out of Talia (alternatively, Talia isn't making an honest man out of Bruce either so lol)
Cass
Supportive, no doubt or question to it
Teasing (specifically of Jason hahahah she can fluster him so easy; she sees why Dick enjoys it).
Alfred
Supportive. Content. Pleased.
Concerned, given both boys are dear to him and both are moderate disasters. He doesn't want any heartbreaks. ):
Exasperation because he finds them all over the manor, without fail.
=======
Thank you so much, by the way!! It makes me all sorts of happy that you enjoy my stories and the little informal things I put out there. (´⌣`ʃƪ)♥ Thank you for the engagement, too! This was a lot of fun. Have a lovely weekend, anon~ ♥♥♥
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NSFW Alphabet - Eddie Munson
A = Aftercare (What they’re like after sex)
He'd stay inside you for a minute wanting to make sure every last bit of his cum was inside of you. Then he'd pull out and pull the blanket over you before going to get a warm wash rag. He'd pull the blanket off and wipe you down gently yet thoroughly. Then, after putting the wash rag in the laundry, he'd get back into bed and cuddle you.
B = Body part (Their favourite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)
His favorite part of his body is his smile because it always makes you melt. He loves that all he has to do is just show his fangs at you and you wanna swoon. His favorite part of your body is your thighs. He loves to just rest his head against one of them while on the couch.
C = Cum (Anything to do with cum basically)
He'd have collage of his favorite pictures of you hung on the ceiling above his bed which he would jerk off to every night. After all, how do you think the stains got on his bed?
D = Dirty Secret (Pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)
He fantasizes about impregnating you because he thinks you'd be a great mom. He's infatuated with the idea of you carrying his children within your tummy. It only gets worse when you comment on how good of a dad he'd be.
E = Experience (How experienced are they? Do they know what they’re doing?)
He's not very experienced only ever having porn and himself to go off of. However, he knows what he's doing. He's practiced enough to know exactly what he's doing.
F = Favourite Position (This goes without saying.)
His favorite would be Knees to Chest.
G = Goofy (Are they more serious in the moment, or are they humorous, etc)
He's more serious as he wants to show you that he doesn't think showing his affection for you is supposed to be funny. But if something funny happens, like one of you accidentally farts during the session, or if he just wants to make sure you're okay after a rough session he'll crack a joke. Can you blame him?
H = Hair (How well groomed are they, does the carpet match the drapes, etc.)
He's well-kept despite having a decent amount of hair. It's as curly as his hair and just as dark. He's thought about shaving it but you've told you prefer him to keep it as it is.
I = Intimacy (How are they during the moment, romantic aspect…)
He's such a romantic. Even if it'd a night where you've just argued and you're basically fucking the hate out he'll still whisper sweet nothings into your ear. "You're so good for me aren't you baby. You just wanted Master's cock inside of you didn't you? That's why you were being such a little hellion earlier isn't it? Mhm."
J = Jack Off (Masturbation headcanon)
If he woke up next to you and he was hard but you were still asleep then he'd jerk off next to you while fondling your ass or your chest. He'd end up cumming on your stomach and the going to get a wash rag to clean it up.
K = Kink (One or more of their kinks)
He wouldn't admit it but he loves being called Master. Whether it be in a match of D&D or in the bedroom. He absolutely loves it. He's also into choking you mainly because he knows how much you love his hands.
L = Location (Favourite places to do the do)
He prefers if you guys are either at his place or yours, but you've been known to get freaky at the D&D matches, before the others show up, or backstage, wherever they end up playing, after his band performs.
M = Motivation (What turns them on, gets them going)
His motivation is you. While he has a fondness for the badass type. He also has a taste for someone who is kind, funny, and afraid to be themselves. You are the embodiment of everything he's into and that's why his motivation is you.
N = NO (Something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)
He only says no when it is something that will put you in danger whether it be physically or mentally. He cares about you and he doesn't want you to get hurt.
O = Oral (Preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc)
He's surprisingly good at giving considering he's not very experienced. However, he does prefer receiving as he knows you are rather fond of giving.
P = Pace (Are they fats and rough? Slow and sensual? etc.)
It would depend on the circumstances. If he felt that you were being too bratty or if you two had caught earlier that night then it would be fast and rough. Other nights where he wants to show you how much he loves you it'll be slow and sensual as he wants to take his time and love every inch of you. Thougu most nights would be slow and rough as he wants to take his time fucking you into oblivion.
Q = Quickie (Their opinions on quickies rather than proper sex, how often, etc.)
He'd rather not be on a schedule when it comes to his intimate time with you. However, if either of you are overpowered with lust at school, work, or even a D&D match he'd make an exception.
R = Risk (Are they game to experiment, do they take risks, etc.)
He'd love to try new things with you so that the both of you may be able to see what you, as a couple, enjoy. Although he'd be wary towards anything that seemed dangerous as he wouldn't want you to get hurt.
S = Stamina (How many rounds can they go for, how long do they last…)
He'd be able to last anywhere from four to six times in a session. Each round would last anywhere from thirty minutes to an hour depending on how tired he was.
T = Toy (Do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves?)
He wouldn't own toys due to his inexperience. However, you would. You'd have vibrators, a blindfold, and several other things. He'd blindfold you during one of his lessons about not being bratty towards him and he'd attach a vibrator to you in such a way that it wouldn't move from you groin. Then he'd just watch. Wait for you to apologize and then he'd take the toy away and replace it with his mouth.
U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)
He'd tease you constantly. He'd know that you had a weakness for his eyes as well as his hands and he'd use them to his advantage. You want to act bratty? He'd wrap his hand around your throat gently knowing you'd melt within his grasp. You wanna tease him? He'd use his puppy dog eyes to make you squirmy so that you'd stop.
V = Volume (How loud they are, what sounds they make)
He'd make noise but he wouldn't be loud. They'd be soft groans, whimpers, etc. just loud enough for you to hear them.
W = Wild Card (Get a random headcanon for the character of your choice)
Although he doesn't want to hurt you he does fantasize about knifeplay from time to time. Not cutting, but just gliding the cool metal against your skin. He'd think you'd like it and he imagines that you'd shudder in excitement as he did it which only makes him want to try it more.
X = X-Ray (Let’s see what’s going on in those pants, picture or words)
His cock is three inches soft and seven-and-a-half inches hard with small, skin toned, veins along the shaft. His balls are the perfect size for your hands to cup them although they are slightly sensitive to being touched.
Y = Yearning (How high is their sex drive?)
He gets turned on so easily. All you'd have to do is smile, not even at him, and he'd be wanting to fuck you right then and there. You think it's so hot that he gets turned on not just by your looks but by your personality.
Z = ZZZ (… how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)
He wouldn't be able to sleep until he knew you were comfortable but as soon as you told him you were ready to go to sleep he'd be passed out with his arms wrapped around you in the next five minutes.
Taglist: @paranoidmunson @the-valkyrie-writes @goldenbrownanddistasteful @gag-me-munson @choke-me-eddie @joeschains
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Hello! Could I request a tate langdon x trans male reader? (Sorry for requesting tate I know you get him alot)
note: you know what you are right i do get tate a lot but the tumblr girlies have been eating him up lately so this one goes out to the transmascs and/or tate lovers. also writing this on my phone and my fat ass thumbs are not doing all that work of clicking shift so this will be all lowercase. anyway i’m writing this sleep deprived at midnight so i am going to wake up tomorrow morning and forget i wrote this most likely
warning: language probably idk i write my warnings before i write the fic and i just predict what the fuck im going to add in idk i should stop
the dead of winter makes things feel quiet. you barely hear your mom in the kitchen though you are just in the room over. it’s not snowing outside, it doesn’t do that in la, like, ever, but it would be nice maybe once.
you feel the vibration of your phone. you’re sitting on the couch and it’s in the back pocket of your jeans and you don’t want to stand up to fish it out so you flop yourself sideways and grab it. you have three notifications, and in your mind, you make a mental ranking of their importance.
3. bereal went off, though it happened hours ago and you don’t bother to take the picture because who cares
2. about 46 minutes ago, your friend texted your other friend in the group chat, talking about some concert tonight for people you’ve never even heard of before
1. your boyfriend, tate, texted about the same concert, but in this case, offering to take you with him to the show
not to play favorites, but a night out alone with your boyfriend sounds like more fun than a night with your freaky little friends. sure, they were a barrel of monkeys… in their own way, but you’d much prefer a long night in working at a puzzle with them than a raging concert.
‘?’ Tate texts again. You opened his text and he saw the read receipt but you’ve just been sitting there contemplating the meaning of life for minutes now.
‘maybe’ you reply and renter your deep thought once more. it would be fun, you’d have a good time and he’d be happy… but you have been wearing your binder for at the very least 10 hours now, and you had plans to take it off in a little bit (granted you were procrastinating) and that was something you didn’t want to deny yourself.
they say you’re not supposed to exercise in a binder, but that’s never stopped you. back in high school, you had PE 3rd period, and it’s not like you were just gonna go through the trouble of taking it off for a one hour block every single day and then put it back on once the class is over.
that’s the same now, though you don’t have a PE class, you are an avid mosher in the pit and you don’t want to be boobs flying everywhere. you don’t even want boobs at all, but top surgery is expensive, and your insurance only covers testosterone shots so you make do with what you can.
‘maybe?’ he texts back and he didn’t include it in the text, but you can feel a :( radiating from his end of the line.
‘tummy kinda hurts idk’ another thing, he doesn’t know you’re trans. it’s no big deal, truly, you know he’d be super supportive and respectful if you came out and nothing would change between the two of you but that doesn’t take away any of your fear of telling him. this relationship has been going on for 6 months now, and it seems like the longer you wait to say something, the more awkward it will be once you do.
‘:(‘ he texts and you frown a little as well in real life, and you put your phone on the table and walk into the kitchen. your mom is baking those little sugar cookies from target with the snowmen on them and you swear if you got close enough, you could eat an entire tray full of them.
but you’ve already spoiled your dinner enough with the potato chips you now realize you’ve abandoned in the living room and walk back to your room.
your bedroom is small yet well decorated, giving it a cozy aura, even more when you light a peppermint candle. you finally remove your binder and it feels like a breath of fresh air for the first time today. twisting your arms around, you stretch out and then put on a tank top and bundle up in your bed because it’s so damn cold out.
you put your headphones over your ears and play some random song off a playlist tate made for you and all is well in the world until you think you hear your mom screeching your name from the kitchen. of course, the second you pause the music and rip of the headphones, it’s dead silence once more, so you put them back on. there’s the noise again. if she’s really trying to contact you, she can just text you rather than test out her echolocation skills.
a moment later, she does text you.
‘someone at the door go get it’
as polite as ever, you have no choice but obey and slump to the front door, unhappy that your unwinding time has been interrupted by some rando at the door. when you open the door (albeit, grumpily), it’s not a rando, but it is in fact your boyfriend.
“tate! what are you doing here?” you don’t mean to sound so unhappy about his presence, it just comes out like that and of course you notice how quickly his eyes trail downwards on your body. you follow them too, until they land on your uncaged boobs. shit. “oh, um.”
“aren’t you going to invite me in?” he doesn’t say anything you thought he would and for that, you hold the door open for him and step aside to let him in.
“so, what are you doing here?” you ask again since he didn’t respond the first time.
“you said your stomach hurt, and mine kinda hurt too, so i thought i could come over and we could be in pain together. what do you think?” the whole time he’s been making his way to your bedroom, though he hadn’t been in your house very many times, he knew where he was going. he kicks off his shoes at the base and launches himself onto your duvet.
“you’re so thoughtful,” you crawl in next to him and hook one leg between his own, immediately experiencing the glory of his body heat.
“i tend to think so.” there’s that silence again. sometimes peaceful, sometimes deafening, because you know there’s something left unsaid. so you open your mouth again.
“um, so, about the boobs thing,” you start and pause to swallow, realizing you must look like a nervous character on tv right now.
“it’s okay.”
“it is?” you don’t dare lift your head to look him in the eye.
“of course. it doesn’t matter to me. you’re still hot,” he pokes you in the side and you chuckle at him.
“stop it, you silly goose,” you joke back and you can feel the physical cringe his body does.
“and i love you no matter what,” it’s quiet, but you hear it, muffled by your cringe minecraft bedspread. you love him too.
#ahs#tate langdon#evan peters fanfiction#american horror story#evan peters x reader#tate langdon x reader#evan peters#evan peters x you#fanfic#fluff#transmasc#trans rights
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Ask Compilation LET'S GOOO
@onceuponahotel asked:
*closes app for one day*
*opens it before bed*
*sees whatever fuckery is on nunalastor's blog*
This is why I stay on this godforsaken app lol
like a cursed news app
@timeladix asked:
Cursed mod on the left and dickmaster on the right (ik this bc i was there, took the photo myself ofc)
(Basically the energy you each give off in my head lmao)
-🦋
cursed mod and dickmaster are the same person but i can confirm this is two sides of their multiple personalities.
Anonymous asked:
what is by far THE MOST cursed ask you've ever got?
honestly they're all pretty bad. maybe one day we'll go through and pull our top 10 or something for a cursed ask bracket or something (if anyone wants to go through the cursed ask tag and pull some and do it instead, by all means feel free)
Anonymous asked:
1985 type song about Alastor and his refusal to get with the times
'cause he's still pre-occupied with 1935.
Anonymous asked:
Razzle can also turn into a giant dragon (sheep devil thing) and there is a nonzero chance there are dragon fuckers here. Razzle x Alastor has my support!
Anonymous asked:
One divorced dad and one single dad meet and now the dads are dating and their daughters are siblings. Chaos siblings to be exact.
Anonymous asked:
I just feel like the *thump* *squeak* posts have died down too much.
So
*thump*
*squeak*
*thump*
Anonymous asked:
I’m always so worried that I forget to turn the anon on and my friends are going to see this anyway
Rosie asks her husbands if they’re okay with being railed as a way to know if she’s gonna eat them (so far they have all said no and tasted horrible)
*thump* *squeak* *thump*
If you do, just let us know and we'll delete it. But your friends will always know you're into freaky cannibal shit.
@urrandomrand asked:
Hey. I feel sorry for u
Damn they felt so bad they deleted their whole account.
Anonymous asked:
*thump* *squeak* *thump* *squeak*
Anonymous asked:
You think if Lucifer menstrates, Alastor forces him to use a cup so that when he's done with it, Alastor can drink it like fine wine?
I think you should seek help, personally.
Anonymous asked:
Lucifer eats baked potatoes for breakfast because I like projecting onto him and I eat baked potatoes for breakfast.
Anonymous asked:
My entire Tiktok feed is that *alastor is a circus who lets people play in his urine*
The shit i get from your tumblr is way more wholesome
I fucking 💕 this fandom
The circus memes are so much less cursed.
Anonymous asked:
Oh yes, that! Can't fucking post links in anon...
-Alastors Dick
You can add a space between parts of the link I believe. Like, nunalastor. tumblr. com/tagged/alastorsdick
Anonymous asked:
Hiiiiii hope you're doing well and you've getting them eepies accordingly :>
-🦋
Cursed mod said they were gonna go take a nap a while ago but that's usually a fucking lie and they're still up.
Anonymous asked:
Ok on the subject of crackships again
What about mollie x cherri and pentious x arackniss
what about all four together maybe pentious has enough dicks for everyone
@floatingcamel23 asked:
hello mom-
I have zero parental instincts. So, I'm probably more like your mom than you realize.
Anonymous asked:
Shiiit, listen to this without looking at the screen.
Hells Greatest Dad (hazbin hotel) - But i converted it to midi (youtube.com)
Do you hear them singing still?
-Alastors Dick
Link. Not even remotely. It sounds like cursed cat alastor stepping on the keys of a piano repeatedly.
Anonymous asked:
do you think that Alastor hides his tail because it's actually a switch and you can turn him off like you would turn off a radio by flipping his tail like a switch?
Anonymous asked:
Alastor car
link
Anonymous asked:
*sexually inserts rubber duck into lucifer's ass and then jumps on him repeatedly*
Anonymous asked:
In response to the dog toy thing-
Vaggie has a stroke of anger because she's basically gained some sort of trauma from hearing it every night. Alastor bursts out laughing. Lucifer turns into a tomato.
Anonymous asked:
Using light mode should be considered a sin
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i wouldn't exactly call the jim carrey grinch movie good. it has its moments, but it's best described as a novelty that only really could have come out in 2000.
i won't mince words: it's an absurdly horny movie. christine baranski very blatantly wants to fuck the grinch – none of my business, i guess.
the actual point i want to make here is that it's very geared towards a certain generation of people. "90s babies" were very much the audience for this. watching it, i was reminded of how kids entertainment was in that era – nickelodeon gak and mega babies. this, the mike myers cat in the hat movie, and arguably invader zim mark the end of gross out oriented kids stuff. gross, creepy, nasty, offensive, the stuff your mom would call "potty humor" which is what makes it funny. in that point in time as kids, we liked to be disturbed, and grossed out, and scared a little bit, which is something you forget it as an adult. freaky and weird was peak comedy, because kids don't necessarily get freaked out the same way, given none of what's being depicted could realistically happen to you. it's not something you're internalizing, but it feels taboo. it's very much a product of the decade that kicked off with ren & stimpy.
the production design is also very 90s. blatantly artificial but elaborate sets. sort of like the casper movie, in how it leans into the spectacle.
it's also interesting to compare it to the 2018 grinch in terms of how tone preferences for children's entertainment have changed. carrey's grince lives in garbage and eats glass bottles, cumberbatch's grinch is... like... a guy who takes ssris and is grumpy. it's way more anodyne.
maybe shrek was the beginning of the end? by shrek 2, they weren't really doing gross-out gags anymore. there are fart jokes, but he's not making candles out of his earwax.
it's simultaneously funny and fascinating that this was made because it's alien now in many ways. or maybe the better way of phrasing this is that it's a cultural artifact.
also, an elderly lesbian couple raising a grinch baby? i'm so sick of this woke shit 🙄🙄🙄
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Lup and Barry clone Taako
i've been dabbling in taz fic lately, and i started this and realised i only wanted to write this scene, and thus didn't want to flesh it out further LMAO
one scene isn't enough to post on ao3, but it is enough to post on tumblr ;)
It starts with Lup’s hovering.
Her metaphorical hovering, that is, not her literal hovering. It’s been a month, maybe a bit more since they’ve defeated the Hunger, and on account of being a lich with no legs, she’d have to drift from place to place for all that time.
Taako doesn’t know why she and Barry haven’t made her a new body, but whatever.
To be honest, it takes a while for Taako to even notice her metaphorical hovering, let alone be bothered by it. There’s something about being separated for over a decade that’s made it so that neither of them can be apart for too long without getting panicky about it. But as Taako soaks up sister time, his Lup quota fills up a little bit faster every day until it’s almost back to pre disappearance levels.
He’d expected it to be the same for Lup, but she’s still clingy. Still hovering. Metaphorically. It’s obvious that there's something she wants to tell him, and he’s never known her to be shy about anything, so he’s waiting for her to spit it out herself.
One night, when she’s decided to ‘sleep’ in Taako’s bed instead of Barry's, she finally plucks up the courage to ask whatever she wants to ask him.
“Taako. How much do you love me?”
“What do you want?” his eyes are closed, but if they weren’t, they’d be squinting suspiciously.
“Seriously, babe, just answer the question.”
“You’re my heart, duh,” if this is what she’s been worried about the whole time, then Taako’s gonna be pissed.
“How would you like to make that literal?”
He finally pulls open an eye to see his sister, floating ominously above him, “and what the fuck do you mean by that?”
If Lup had a face, she would use it to give him a bashful smile.
“Well… we need like, a lot of DNA samples in order to create a clone, and it was easy for Barry because he always had access to his body but–”
“But your body is dust,” Taako closes his eyes.
“Hey, we’re already technically clones of each other! We just need to do it manually this time!”
“It’s still fucking freaky, though!” he sits up on his elbows, “I don’t wanna go about my day knowing there’s a version of me growing in a test tube!”
“Then don’t think of the clone as you, dummy, it’ll be my body, I just… won’t be in it, for a while.”
“Oh my god,” he slumps back onto the mattress, “when the fuck did this become our life?”
“I think we were pretty much locked in the moment we got the IPRE acceptance letters,” she floats down to lie on Taako’s body, her not-face propped up by her hands. “Seriously, though, if you really don’t wanna do this, then it’s fine. We’ll figure something else out.”
“Oh yeah, like what? Possess some poor schmuck and spend the rest of your days running from Kravitz? No way, this is the easier option.”
“I have a feeling you’re not fully 100 percent on board with this.”
“Yeah, of course I'm not! Who wants to be cloned? But I’m doing it anyway because you’re my sister, and I want to fucking hug you.”
“God, same,” Lup sighs, “and I want to bang my husband,” she ignores Taako’s retching, “it’s just that we have to be really careful about this, now that me and Barry are working for the Raven Queen and all, we have to make sure this is super duper ethical. Cloning is super light necromancy, and she’s barely willing to let us do it.”
“Fine,” Taako raises his hand, “you have my full unequivocal consent to clone my body and bang your husband with it. I just don’t want to see the fucking thing until you’re in it. Do you need that in writing or what?”
“Actually, yeah. Like I said, the Raven Queen is being super strict about it. Kravitz says we’re lucky she’s letting us do this at all. I guess being the saviors of the universe helped us out there.”
“She also has a big soft spot for Kravitz. She’s like his Mom.”
“Aww, really?”
“He can deny it all he wants, but I know the truth. He blushes like a motherfucker when I bring it up.”
“Ha!” She barks out a laugh and sits up, “I'm definitely gonna bring that up the next time I see him,” she floats off him and makes for the wall– doors are obsolete to a lich– but she pauses, turning back to face him. He can almost imagine her face in the empty darkness that is her hood, a reflection of his own, but far more open and gentle than he’s ever allowed himself to be. “Seriously–”
“Seriously,” he raises his hand, “I'm cool with it. Now can I go the fuck back to sleep?”
“Yeah,” she says, soft, with a hint of a smile, “you can.”
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I've been looking forward to the White Rabbit event since it came out in JP because I love pastel colors and LOVELOVE SUPER DUPER LOVE bunnies 💗 and because of that I got a bit sad when Epel and Deuce didn't wanna wear their costumes 😔 I was especially expecting Epel to hate wearing his, so I was so happy and surprised that he actually likes it 💗💗💗 Beforehand I had imagined pouting and telling him that its all the things I like, including him, so please don't dislike it too much, but I guess there's no problem there now hee hee 💗 It ~does~ make me think about some Epel Epel 👉👌👉👌 stuff winky wink if you know what I'm saying.
OHHHH I WAS WAITING FOR THE EVENT TOO!!!! (The cards are so damn cute and Deuce's mom is really hot hahah!~!) Epel looks like a big cake topper to me. Or like uhhhhh if you've ever seen Bennycakes ASMR(?) he looks like a cake. If that makes sense? His outfit is probably my favorite. So is Silver's... I won't elaborate on Silver it ain't about him. I'm actually happy that Epel isn't being all miserable in the costume because it really does suit him!! And I love his card a lot!!
I think in that situation, he would grumble a little... Before bending his resolve and wearing it for your sake. Even if he feels a little silly he wants to wear it for you!~!
I think... Epel's freaky ass would want to fuck in the costume. Or in something similar. Maybe? It's a little in the way but imagine with me for a moment. Okay? Take my hand and listen babes;
The costume is sweaty and kinda hard to move in. Right? Epel does his best not to complain, because looking cool and tough in front of you is his top priority. Even if he does look kinda goofy. But after the festival and it's time to wind down for the night... It's time to take the costumes off. The boys allowed you to change first (also trying to look polite in front of Ms. Spade.) The other boys had changed and told you Epel had finally gone into the bathroom to get his costume off.
The moment you have the chance, you decided you wanted to run in and surprise him. It may seem like an assholish prank, but he's walked in on you many times. It didn't bother either of you. So, you entered unannounced with a wide smile. But seeing his hair wild and messy from him struggling to remove the head piece... How his pale skin was lined in a shimmering sheet of sweat, and how he haphazardly tossed the top half of the costume to the floor in a pastel heap. He was starting to take off the gloves and he looked at you with a pout. "... What?" Epel called out to you and you were snapped out of your trance.
It's too bad you would be sleeping in Deuce's apartment and not somewhere private. You would never live down pouncing on him in your friends bathroom. "Nothing! Just seeing if you needed help." Your face felt hot as you shut the door and allowed Epel to finish in private.
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