#and goes to therapy and is medicated

[small-jar]

People are misscharactering gerry and it is making me upset >:(

People are like "he wouldn't be goth anymore bc he doesn't have the trauma" and I've seen a couple of different takes that people are like gerry wouldn't dress goth or he is actually a metalhead and like No? And people don't know what makes someone goth it seems bc you have to listen to the music as the baseline and boom you can know learn about the history, dress it, and you have to understand the political stuff too(since it came from punk) and normies think that you have to have trauma? To be goth and like that's just factual incorrect. So they are making this thing that tmp gerry is a normal man now and like he can still be goth like bro just dressed that way in tma and just bc he has a support system now doesn't mean he got his goth card taken away

#jar rant #the magnus protocol #tma #the magnus archives #tmagp #the magnus protocol spoilers #gerry keay #tma gerry #gerard keay #like people dont know what goth is and its making me upset #you can have stability and still be goth #yall know that right? #RIGHT?! #im actually so upset about this #and him being a metalhead (there are no problems with metslheads) goth people can still listen to othet music #and alot of goths like metal #gerry is goth and the only things different about him is that he lives with his grandmother #has a good dye job #and goes to therapy and is medicated

[canisalbus]

I for one would foam at the mouth (positive) if u started brewing an au where vasco and machete run off together and live a happy life where machete gets therapy, personally. Ik hes meant to be a vent character i just like to imagine it

.

#aw dang that does sound very sweet now that I think about it #you'll just have to believe me when I say they're happy and together in the modern au #Machete goes to therapy on wednesdays #and is on all the medications he could possibly need #answered #anonymous

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

#me for forever: i probably have ocd. that would make a lot of sense. psychologist: u seem to meet the diagnostic criteria for ocd. me: >:-O #so yeah. i officially have ocd. shocking. i know. its only exactly as i suspected #i did not expect to get so much investigation into bipolar tho. checked a lot of boxes on a bipolar checklist sheet #and like yeah this issue probably goes back to hs but like its not that obstructive. i mean. it is but like. its not that bad #and yes. the fact that i had a fucked up reaction to Lexapro may support that diagnosis. but like i dont really remember what happened that #well. it could just b how ocd and anxiety along with whatever spectrum problems i have manifest. it could just b pmdd #i do have recorded spells of high energy outside the expected phases of my cycle. but like ya kno #it would just truely truely shock me if i was bipolar #but what i described was apparently fucked up enough that my counselor was like hm have u looked at a physical medical issue? #and im like. ive not been to a doctor in 6 years. so i have a doctors appointment next week lol #yeah. so interesting so far. this does mean exposure therapy which im gonna hate but i mean #its the thing that works with ocd and i wanna get better so lets fucking go i guess #unrelated

[the-shy-wolf]

The thing that sucks most about autism is that signs can differentiate based upon certain factors. I wasn't diagnosed until my late teens- but I remember certain family members treating me terribly after I was diagnosed [despite one of my younger siblings having it as well]. I don't understand why I was treated differently, but I think it's kind of shitty that just because someone is diagnosed later in life- people think it's okay to invalidate. Like I don't understand the unnecessary hate/ biased treatment.

#and this goes for undiagnosed persons too #psychologists and therapy are expensive #not everyone has access or the privilege to be medically diagnosed

[civilization-illstayrighthere]

monster for the not-so-nice asks?

monster: Is your OC monstrous in any way? Is there something that makes them monstrous? Are they aware of their own monstrosity? Do they accept it or reject it?

I already answered this but i loooove talking about it again as one of my big ‘themes’ w V is monster/ beast/ animal (how can you not w the werewolf/nomad mentions) cause that’s my imagery parallel of choice for being from an ‘outside’ group where no matter how much you’ve ‘integrated’ and love your new home, you’re always seen (both externally and, more importantly, internally) as that outsider….

I’d say another ‘monstrous’ thing about V is his choice of weapon. He’s exclusively fists only. That’s a brutal way to kill someone. It’s feral. He used to use shotguns in his Shiv years, pre-gorilla fists and a lot of his combat chrome. He almost exclusively relies on his fists now (and, can we thank 2.0 for giving us all those lovely head clapping, gangoon throwing, ground pounding new fun features for the unarmed fighters?). It’s a mix of cyberpunk’s / the solo’s way “rule of cool”, of knowing it gets him certain jobs that others dont (ruthless ones where they need to make a point, stealth jobs especially versus ICE’d netrunners or close quarters) and also his own ego/pride in that he just can. He hates being a monster but also wants it to be still very apparent that he is a monster. He doesn’t wield a dangerous weapon— he is one, he can’t be touched, he can’t be fucked over. It’s a part of him. He can’t put the fists away, take them off— they’re always there.

Tysm!! :’’) ( not-so-nice OC asks )

#this is also why the tower ending would really fuck my v up i think… #my ideal ending for him is sun + he’s healed #he starts suffering from cyber psychosis w/o the buffer of johnn #y goes to therapy + gets medicated + willingly pares down his chrome in various ways #the tower would be. woof. it’d take away all the choice and leave him a shell #ESP the way the petty bruisers at the end just fuck him up that would. ooouuugh. i dont think his ego could handle it #thank you for asking!! ;~; #stomping in a glass house

[symbiodyke]

..

#kms i missed therapy and queer figure drawing today #it's not their fault it's the hospital being a fucking shitshow but. my partner's oncology exam took over 4 hours instead of 1 #and idk we're both so exhausted and drained nd. there goes our whole day & not any closer to figuring out their medical situation :( #i just feel so sad and angry on their behalf #and like. it doesnt matter in comparison there's definitely bigger fish to fry but. i am also bummed abt having to cancel therapy and qfd. #im only making it known in this little space bc again it's small potatoes compared to what my partner is going thru #they were. not especially kind or understanding toward my partner but at least it's seeming unlikely that their cancer came back #so that's good but um. what now. theyre still dealing w debilitating symptoms 😭 come the fuck on #anyway. #delete later

[gregmarriage]

have physio today and i’m keeping my expectations low, because medical trauma and every time i go to a medical appointment i feel they don’t take me seriously ✌🏻

#sometimes it is just me being anxious and the person genuinely does believe me and take me seriously and doesn’t treat me like shit #tho my dad says the guy seems like a dick but my dad thinks most everyone is a dick #he is a hater fr #idk i’m just gonna be open minded #if the guy’s a prick then the guy’s a prick that may just be his personality #or maybe my dad caught him on a bad day #who knows? #idk we’ll see what happens #if all goes wrong i can just imagine using what strength i have to kick him in the balls ☺️ #but literally the guy himself doesn’t matter the actual physical therapy does #idk i HATE medical appointments and i’ve got hours to wait ughhhhhh #i just wanna get it over with and see what happens #gwen rambles #gwenposting

[prettyboyscollection]

this is in reference to a specific post i didnt get a screenshot of but it said something to the effect of “males should get vasectomies as soon as they start puberty and only be allowed to have it reversed if a woman gives her legal written consent to get her pregnant” and. jesus fucking christ. you’re fucking unhinged. go to therapy??? believing that would be a good plan is fucking terrifying

#medical abuse // #ask to tag #doing genital surgery on children to own the misogynists #like literally. cis boys start puberty between like 9 and 14 #you want to give these children vasectomies??? #this is the sort of brainrot you get when you believe that men are inherently predatory #wanting to do surgery like that on fucking 9 year old children #like. a vasectomy involves cutting into the scrotum #and sealing up the passage sperm goes through to get into semen. and then the incision is either cauterized or closed with sutures #you want to do this to 9 year olds??? #trans kids can’t transition whatsoever but you think it’s totally cool and fine to do a surgery like that on a 9 year old boy??? #cool cool i hope you never interact with any children of any sex #go to therapy and work your shit out this is not a normal belief to have #also the person who made the post that prompted this literally said that doing surgery on 9 year old boys isn’t #violating their bodily autonomy #9 year olds of ANY sex and gender should not have procedures like that done unless it’s for their health #‘men violate women’s bodily autonomy all the time and all unplanned pregnancies are their fault so this is a good plan’ again. #go the fuck to therapy #‘im going to take my anger towards men out on actual children’ #how do you expect men to improve and not be awful if you think even little boys are irredeemable #go to therapy or drive off a cliff or something #z.txt #vent post

[dykeinthedark]

AAAAAAAA. does anyone get hit with the terrible realization that mental illness Does Not Go Away Only Hides. like god i hate having to factor in my mental illness into my future life plans

#aaAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH #this is mainly about going to college btw. IM SO NERVOUS FOR NORMAL REASONS AND ALSO MENTAL ILLNESS REASONS #im a bit more depressed than the average person and I HATE DEALING WITH IT EVERY YEAR #i guess its sorta seasonal because its not... AS.... bad during the spring/summer #it still fucking sucks though!!!! i am plagued with thoughts. it sucks. #it never fucking goes away. maybe i should be treated because i have been plagued with suicidal thoughts since i was 9 and it never leaves #me when im unmedicated and never went to therapy besides shitty school counselors who thought i wanted to commit k word #me when my parents don't believe in therapy or medication #rants

[pearlswine]

sitting on a campus bench looking sexy and mysterious Rn btw

#these past 2 weeks have been killing me internally #i did not get the internship i am not medicated im not in therapy im bitchless what the fuck goes on #i have been going to community meetings and volunteering though so thats something i guess

[elytrafemme]

there are some pros of having parents who are doctors but i have to say. the way that my parents particularly my mom do NOT understand how therapy works... 

#nightmare.personal #don't rb #just had to explain to her why there are confidentiality rules in therapy and i don't think she got it by the end #she wants to meet with my therapist and i've told her in every conceivably possible way #that it's not going to be satisfactory because her and my dad are looking for problems and solutions and answers #but she's still like yeah i know ^_^ <- face of a woman who is about to get so so pissed after talking to her #fucking. my sibling having mental health issues and a therapy experience VERY different to mine doesn't help too #because he goes around saying ohhh im cured now and my parents go ohhh why don't you have a wife and i'm going around like #hahah please don't medicate me or force me into goal oriented therapy or else you'll take me out of it you're so sexy ahah #also my mom thinking that she knows more about me in my day to day life than my fucking therapist... laughable #anyawy. okay that's all thanks

[fakeoutbf]

.

#anxiety tw #i just watched lewis’ documentary #this is gonna be a little tmi so bear with me #genuinely did not know that much about him personally so it’s fucking wild to see all the pressures and anxieties he had to face after #the success of his first album like i can’t even imagine feeling so much pressure over something so complex #huge love to him honestly #i’m gonna side step a little from bc i was watching it with my mom right #and mental illnesses are so fucking complex and different for every person that has them right #so we get to the big climax in which it all starts to build up for him right #and i’ve never said this online before right but my brother’s has diagnosed autism since he was a toddler and he has add and anxiety on top #and my mom’s always been very on top of that with him and tried to get him therapy and shit for it for years #and medication and all that stuff #like to the point where i remember going out of town to get him to a doctor and get him meds and shit #and he hasn’t taken anything in a while and my mom kind of chilled about it after he graduated high school #so she goes ‘you know that’s how your brother is like’ while we’re seeing lewis experience his own anxiety etc #while i’m over here almost crying bc it definitely hit close to home for me and my own personal experience #and it feels so fucking shitty that like bc a professional has never told us that i have an anxiety disorder or depression or any other #fucking mental illness that my mom just brushes off my own feelings and struggles #when some days i can barely get up in the morning and somedays i think about not doing it anymore and every day i sort of harm myself #so i just tell her to shut up and she gets mad when like #i’ve had to hide it for years so she doesn’t get worried then hit the breaking point and asked for help and they didn’t do anything about it #idk i guess i’m just tired of being pushed aside when i’m clearly aching

[m00ngbin]

Today was such a bad day oh my God

#i need medication #kel goes to therapy core #not really lmao but i wish

[aroace-cat-lady]

I NEED to stop apologizing for every time I want to talk about the album cuz I know it comes from the fear of ppl hating me but the need of repressing my way to deal with anxiety is a self destructive thing I do but I also know I shouldn't have to apologize for posting whatever I want in my blog but—

#this conversation goes on and on and on and on and on and— in my head btw #i just don't want to keep posting about her !!!!! for a lot of reasons !!!! #but also im obsessed and when i have a new obsession (or strong feeling to that matter) i just need to get it out of my system #and it goes either to my blog or to my someone's dms. BUT IM EXTREMELY ANNOYING ABOUT THIS AND AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA #also im extremely insecure about ppl hating me as you might've noticed 🧍😮‍💨 #my love for storytelling gets the best of me im so so so so sorry about it #im making a fucking huge deal out of something stupid I KNOW and im sorry but ughhhhhhhhhhh #a therapy session per week ain't enough i need medication

[cocklessboy]

The biggest male privilege I have so far encountered is going to the doctor.

I lived as a woman for 35 years. I have a lifetime of chronic health issues including chronic pain, chronic fatigue, respiratory issues, and neurodivergence (autistic + ADHD). There's so much wrong with my body and brain that I have never dared to make a single list of it to show a doctor because I was so sure I would be sent directly to a psychologist specializing in hypochondria (sorry, "anxiety") without getting a single test done.

And I was right. Anytime I ever tried to bring up even one of my health issues, every doctor's initial reaction was, at best, to look at me with doubt. A raised eyebrow. A seemingly casual, offhand question about whether I'd ever been diagnosed with an anxiety disorder. Even female doctors!

We're not talking about super rare symptoms here either. Joint pain. Chronic joint pain since I was about 19 years old. Back pain. Trouble breathing. Allergy-like reactions to things that aren't typically allergens. Headaches. Brain fog. Severe insomnia. Sensitivity to cold and heat.

There's a lot more going on than that, but those were the things I thought I might be able to at least get some acknowledgement of. Some tests, at least. But 90% of the time I was told to go home, rest, take a few days off work, take some benzos (which they'd throw at me without hesitation), just chill out a bit, you'll be fine. Anxiety can cause all kinds of odd symptoms.

Anyone female-presenting reading this is surely nodding along. Yup, that's just how doctors are.

Except...

I started transitioning about 2.5 years ago. At this point I have a beard, male pattern baldness, a deep voice, and a flat chest. All of my doctors know that I'm trans because I still haven't managed to get all the paperwork legally changed, but when they look at me, even if they knew me as female at first, they see a man.

I knew men didn't face the same hurdles when it came to health care, but I had no idea it was this different.

The last time I saw my GP (a man, fairly young, 30s or so), I mentioned chronic pain, and he was concerned to see that it wasn't represented in my file. Previous doctors hadn't even bothered to write it down. He pushed his next appointment back to spend nearly an hour with me going through my entire body while I described every type of chronic pain I had, how long I'd had it, what causes I was aware of. He asked me if I had any theories as to why I had so much pain and looked at me with concerned expectation, hoping I might have a starting point for him. He immediately drew up referrals for pain specialists (a profession I didn't even know existed till that moment) and physical therapy. He said depending on how it goes, he may need to help me get on some degree of disability assistance from the government, since I obviously shouldn't be trying to work full-time under these circumstances.

Never a glimmer of doubt in his eye. Never did he so much as mention the word "anxiety".

There's also my psychiatrist. He diagnosed me with ADHD last year (meeting me as a man from the start, though he knew I was trans). He never doubted my symptoms or medical history. He also took my pain and sleep issues seriously from the start and has been trying to help me find medications to help both those things while I go through the long process of seeing other specialists. I've had bad reactions to almost everything I've tried, because that's what always happens. Sometimes it seems like I'm allergic to the whole world.

And then, just a few days ago, the most shocking thing happened. I'd been wondering for a while if I might have a mast cell condition like MCAS, having read a lot of informative posts by @thebibliosphere which sounded a little too relatable. Another friend suggested it might explain some of my problems, so I decided to mention it to the psychiatrist, fully prepared to laugh it off. Yeah, a friend thinks I might have it, I'm not convinced though.

His response? That's an interesting theory. It would be difficult to test for especially in this country, but that's no reason not to try treatments and see if they are helpful. He adjusted his medication recommendations immediately based on this suggestion. He's researching an elimination diet to diagnose my food sensitivities.

I casually mentioned MCAS, something routinely dismissed by doctors with female patients, and he instantly took the possibility seriously.

That's it. I've reached peak male privilege. There is nothing else that could happen that could be more insane than that.

I literally keep having to hold myself back from apologizing or hedging or trying to frame my theories as someone else's idea lest I be dismissed as a hypochondriac. I told the doctor I'd like to make a big list of every health issue I have, diagnosed and undiagnosed, every theory I've been given or come up with myself, and every medication I've tried and my reactions to it - something I've never done because I knew for a fact no doctor would take me seriously if they saw such a list all at once. He said it was a good idea and could be very helpful.

Female-presenting people are of course not going to be surprised by any of this, but in my experience, male-presenting people often are. When you've never had a doctor scoff at you, laugh at you, literally say "I won't consider that possibility until you've been cleared by a psychologist" for the most mundane of health problems, it might be hard to imagine just how demoralizing it is. How scary it becomes going to the doctor. How you can internalize the idea that you're just imagining things, making a big deal out of nothing.

Now that I'm visibly a man, all of my doctors are suddenly very concerned about the fact that I've been simply living like this for nearly four decades with no help. And I know how many women will have to go their whole lives never getting that help simply because of sexism in the medical field.

If you know a doctor, show them this story. Even if they are female. Even if they consider themselves leftists and feminists and allies. Ask them to really, truly, deep down, consider whether they really treat their male and female patients the same. Suggest that the next time they hear a valid complaint from a male patient, imagine they were a woman and consider whether you'd take it seriously. The next time they hear a frivolous-sounding complaint from a female patient, imagine they were a man and consider whether it would sound more credible.

It's hard to unlearn these biases. But it simply has to be done. I've lived both sides of this issue. And every doctor insists they treat their male and female patients the same. But some of the doctors astonished that I didn't get better care in the past are the same doctors who dismissed me before.

I'm glad I'm getting the care I need, even if it is several decades late. And I'm angry that it took so long. And I'm furious that most female-presenting people will never have this chance.

#transgender #queer #transmasc #lgbtqia+ #trans man #sexism #medical sexism #feminism #male privilege

[off-brand-foot-lettuce]

got properly diagnosed w major depressive disorder and generalized anxiety disorder yesterday and i cannot describe the peace that i feel about it

it feels like all these years growing up i knew something was off but no one would ever fully believe me because there was no paper that said "yes she has this issue and no she cant just will it away"

its almost like the feeling i had when i learned what pansexuality was, where now i can put a name to the feeling and people can get me

im a little upset that it took me this long to be able to figure it out but i guess thats something i can advocate for other people to not have to go thru ya know? it may not have happened to me but i can fight for all the sad depressed anxious little girls who are forced to mask all the time because they're "attention seeking" or "rammy" or "just need to get over it" because its "unladylike"

#its so time to start taking women and their feelings seriously in both societal and medical areas #im tired of being shut down because im a woman #and im just emotional #because im not #something is wrong with me #i have deficiencies in my brain that you cant will to change #and i feel so relieved that no one can tell me that anymore #yes therapy is helping but i cant just hope it goes away #ill learn to cope with it and deal with it and learn to work around it #but my mom cant tell me my emotions arent real anymore