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topweeklyupdate · 3 years

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TØP Weekly Update #142: A Formidable Album (5/21/21)

So... how 'bout that album release week?

There's so much to cover; the release of nine new songs, the hype that's building for the World's Best Band to return to the stage, and (if we're able to come up for air) the massive speculation of what the future brings for our band.

I'm gonna get right into it, laying out my thoughts regarding this bold new album and covering all the most notable news from the week. I'll be sharing my (mostly) positive opinions about Scaled and Icy under the Read More line; I hope they're the start of a fun conversation with all of y'all who have stuck around through this last year.

Scaled and Icy Review

First, my general thoughts on the album: It's good! Really good. Do I think it's a no-skip like Vessel or a cohesive piece of art like Trench? Absolutely not! But it's also not the potential misfire that I worried that we might be getting when I first heard "Saturday" (more on that later); I think all of the songs are at least good, and some of them are downright great tracks that hold up with anything else that our band has ever released. It is also indisputably very different, but I think that generally works pretty well. Many of the songs evoke '60s rock or Britpop sounds and structures that you can tell Tyler is still trying to navigate, but I think he does a very solid job at adapting them to suit his strengths- namely his lyricism and knack for melody- rather than change to suit them. Unfortunately, this does result in a bit of square-peg-in-round-hole syndrome at times; most of the rap verses on the album feel like they're here just to fulfill an obligation to fans who would be mad if they weren't here, and most of the songs that use them are the weakest ones in the project.

"Good Day" plays a major role in getting the rest of the album to work as well as it does. Its gradual ramp-up, introducing the sound that will be used throughout the rest of the album. Its playfulness belies its message about how one can project a somewhat false optimism for oneself in the midst of tragedy: the type of dark stuff in a bright package that Tyler is so so good at. It's perhaps not an instant classic, but I am excited to see how it comes across when it's eventually used as a show-opener. 9/10

I've of course already discussed "Shy Away"; an anthemic, inimitably catchy track that I just wish had a bit more going on under the hood. Still going to be so good to hear thousands of voices scream "An 'I LOVE YOU' that isn't words!" someday. 9.5/10

"Choker" definitely took a little bit to grow on me. I think part of that was a bit of disappointment from over-inflated expectations and the environment I was in when I first heard it. With further listens, I fall more and more in love with the melody of the song... well, most of it. Like the rest of this album, the biggest weakness in the song is when Tyler tries to tick the box of having a rap verse; it just feels really out of place, unfinished, and almost amateurish, and it doesn't end the song on the note that it really should. Without it, it'd be one of my favorites on the album; with it, "Choker" is a solid 8.5/10.

Speaking of unfinished-sounding songs really hurt by their rap verse: "The Outside". There's a definite something to the vibe of the song, but that seemingly nonsensical verse is one of the two weakest parts of the entire project for me. The way the song meanders only adds to the feeling that there wasn't as much energy and attention paid to it compared to other parts of the project. It's pretty easily my least favorite track on Scaled and Icy, and the only one I might regularly skip. I've also seen plenty of people saying it's the best song on the album, so please tell me why I'm wrong! 6.5/10

"Saturday", as mentioned above, had me really nervous about this album. Like "Choker", it's grown on me a bit since I first heard it, in part because it fits better with the context of the rest of the album. However, this one really does feel undercooked lyrically and overreliant on the novelty of using a disco-inspired sound that seems to chase trends more than almost any other TØP track. The inclusion of that very sweet audio clip from Jenna boosts the song in some ways, but also adds to the disappointment in others; there are many other songs on this project that would be more worth surrendering time watching Friends. Thankfully, those come next. 7/10

"Never Take It" is fascinating. I never thought I'd hear a Rolling Stones-style song from Tyler Joseph featuring a gd guitar solo of all things, and it actually sounds pretty great. However, I also predict that this song will see some of the greatest critical scrutiny out of all the songs on the album. The lyrics seem to be Tyler's criticism of the media for playing up division in our society, but he's extremely vague when discussing which entities are spreading said division and ultimately recommends that people "educate yourself, but never too much". I'll be honest: maybe it's the fact that it sounds like something my dad would listen to, but it feels like this would get tons of play on Fox News. Since it makes specific reference to the events of last summer, it's hard not to feel like song is at least partially inspired by Tyler's brush with cancellation last year. Maybe I'm reading too deeply into it, but those reservations come from the song's lack of specificity, which is an issue of songwriting more than politics. They hold me back from truly loving a song that still manages to be one of the most exciting the band has ever put out. 8.5/10

"Mulberry Street" seems like the perfect realization of the entire album's intended tone. It is so pleasant, so lush while also simply produced, full of great lyrics, metaphors, and imagery. It really brings the whole project together, even if it's missing That One Line to really move this up to the top tier of the canon. 9.5/10

"Formidable" is the best song on the album and one of two songs I would truly rank in the top tier of the band's canon. Extremely pleasant and brimming with well-crafted lines to make your heart swoon. Jenna (and Rosie) is (are) a lucky gal(s). Or is it about Josh? Who's to say? 10/10

"Bounce Man" is just plain wild. I think Tyler's smuggling someone to Mexico to escape the feds? The playfulness of it all really covers up any frustration I might have with the clarity; it makes it clear that there's not really stakes here, just vibes. 8.5/10

"No Chances" sees the album take a turn that I'm sure the Reddit Clique is going to have an absolute field day with; it and "Redecorate" both sound quite different from the rest of the album and evoke enough elements of Trench to make me think that's it's actually possible that all this 'SAI is Propaganda' stuff might actually have something to it... until I actually pick apart the lyrics, then I'm even more confused. The song has some of the best rapping on the album, though that's not saying much (the feng shui line is a groaner right out the gate) and the gentle pre-chorus is really pleasant. I still haven't made up my mind on whether the chorus is effective or just plain goofy. This one might get worse or better on repeat listens, impossible to say for now. 7.5/10

"Redecorate" rounds out the album by opening with a Clancy quote (Tyler, you bastard), firmly setting this as a coda to Trench more than the album we just listened to. The rest of the song is really storytelling, with Tyler describing a bunch of people who are struggling deeply. The idea of "redecorating" here stands for how they are faced with the option to clean and resort their own spaces and lives or leave that to their loved ones to do after they're gone. By the time it gets to the album's name drop, you begin to wonder how much of this is potential autobiographical of the last year. It's moving stuff, a callback to some of the great strengths of the band's discography. 10/10

If I average those scores all up, this project ranks below almost every album among the Pilots discography on my rating scale, very narrowly edging out Self-Titled. That's still a very solid 8.6. Scaled and Icy is a very good album on first listen. We'll see how I feel about it after having a little more time to sit with it, but I've rambled enough: let's move through the rest of the week's news.

Other News

Of course, there was a lot else going on this week! To accompany the release of "Saturday", Zane Lowe over at Apple Music dropped an interview with Tyler. As usual, Zane did a pretty solid job of getting to the heart of the craft and the creation process. However, Tyler also wound up skirting a lot of the questions to just talk more about how much he loves being a dad, which makes me happy; if the cost of getting a little less attention and mental energy devoted to the music is that little girl getting all of his attention, that's honestly preferable for me.

The album rollout is not even close to over. Later today, the concert will be streamed live. It's our first real performance that we've gotten from the band since 2019, but the previews that we've seen have completely exceeded any of my expectations, and really anything that we've seen from the band. It appears that they've transformed the entire arena (which I think is the ol' Schott at Ohio State) into a whole TØP world, with different sets laden with Easter eggs and a cast of backup dancers. If the website can hold up to the traffic (and I acknowledge that might be a big ask), this could really live up to Tyler's promise of this being the best livestreamed concert ever.

Oh, and this guy dyed his hair pink.

What a time to be a fan. Catch you all tomorrow.

Power to the local dreamer.

|-/

#twenty one pilots #scaled and icy #tyler joseph #josh dun #good day #shy away #choker #the outside #saturday #never take it #mulberry street #formidable #bounce man #no chances #redecorate #top weekly update

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auxiliarydetective · 2 years

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📚?

Oooooh, nice! This is actually a pretty loose plot idea with multiple options, but I hope you still like it:

The general idea is: What happens with the Heroes after the war? Yes, this would be a Vicky/Newkirk story. I love them, sue me. The two consistent things across the three options are:

1. They're getting married because it's the 1940s and because it would be a major punch in the face to classicism and especially Vicky's parents who are so stuck-up about being upper-class and have tried to keep her from anything below upper middle class for all her life until the war.

2. They'll have kids. Why? Vicky loves kids and I feel like Newkirk also likes them, whether he admits it or not. Emphasis on the s of kids because Newkirk would be very adamant about the importance of siblings and Vicky probably also wanted a sibling as a child but never got to have one. Also, it would just be fun to write. I mean, think about it, these kids would be little demons. They're the child of a pickpocket/conman/magician/criminal/generally-a-rebel and a spy/counterfeiter/generally-a-sly-devil. Imagine the kind of danger you get when you combine Vicky's upper-class manners and being able to completely hide her true intentions with Newkirk's utter aggression and affinity for risk.

For the actual plot of the story, I have three options:

Option 1: Newkirk and Vicky settle down in London and Newkirk picks his career at the Palladium as a stage magician back up. Vicky might be a housewife while their kids are still young, but she's definitely getting a job once she feels like she can leave them alone without it ending in disaster (which might take a while, considering who their father is). In general, a pretty peaceful, middle-class life. Might be the most boring option, but it's perfect for fluff.

Option 2: A travelling circus. We all know how much Newkirk loves the circus and Vicky loves nothing more than to watch him perform. It's a pretty obvious choice for them to make. And it would be nice for their children too. They get to see the world, learn whatever circus-y thing they want to learn that they might not be able to learn otherwise... And Vicky and Newkirk are very relaxed parents. If they don't want to stay with the circus, no problem. You can stay with Uncle Louis in Paris. Or maybe you want to go overseas and visit the American part of the family? Completely fine, you'll be in good hands! Let me also take this time to say that the other Heroes would be great uncles. And don't get me started on Grandpa Schultz. In all three of these options, he would send the kids toys and chocolate and all kinds of gifts.

Option 3: Bonnie and Clyde. Sort of. Listen, ever since I saw that "serial killer dating a writer" post, I've been in love and then YouTube had to recommend me a smiliar video and dug the idea even deeper into my skull. I'm not creative enough to write a story like that as a standalone from any fandom, even though I'd like to try. So, for now, my favourite criminal pair of lovers has to stand in. In this story, Newkirk becomes a full-time criminal. He's gotten way too used to it. Vicky doesn't mind. She lives a normal life and since Newkirk has gotten so sneaky during his time in Stalag 13, nobody knows her husband is one of London's most wanted criminals. Maybe their children know, maybe they don't, but they sure as hell won't tell. So while Newkirk goes around playing Robin Hood and stealing whatever he thinks looks shiny enough, Vicky sits at home, takes care of their children and writes crime novels about the stories her husband tells her when he comes back after a day of work.

Want to know about another idea I have swirling through my mind that I haven't actually written down yet? Send me an ask with your favourite book emoji and I'll open the gates to the mess that is my mind?

#rambles #hogan's heroes #fanfic idea #peter newkirk #zoe allen #oc: vicky brandt #otp: thief of my heart #ask

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sacredmouche · 4 years

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Pavlovian Conditioning | Kageyama x Reader

Word count: 1.8K

Warnings: none

Genre: Fluff (?), College!AU

College!Kageyama x College!Reader

"Damn you, Kageyama! I've been doing this for TWO FUCKING MONTHS, and you haven't fall into my obvious hints that I like you!" is what you wanted to tell him for a long time now. You have been dropping hints to him and he doesn't seem to notice. Helping him with his homework voluntarily, asking him to eat with you during lunch (coz boi he eats alone all the time), and writing his notes when he falls asleep during class, those are some things you do for him that obviously say "I like you, Kageyama!" but you don't know what is wrong with this boy. Is he that stupid or just numb? You don't know but what you know is that you are not going to give up until he realize that you like him and make him like you.

Another day, another stress brought to you by being a college student with Kageyama not taking your hints on the side. What a great time to be alive!

Today is one of those days when you feel like not dropping hints to him, you're tired and you have something big carrying on your shoulders. You’re a leader of your research group for fuck sake.

"We're only freshmen but why the fuck do we have to comply with all these activities?" you whispered with unbelievable look in your eyes. A day in university just come to an end and you are in your favorite cafe with all your school papers on the table, waiting for the barista to call your name and sip on that delectable coffee you just ordered. Studying in this cafe is relaxing and the ambiance is perfect for you to focus, so it is a part of your day to stop by here and study.

"It's because you're a college student, stupid" a familiar voice made you raise you head and it was your childhood friend who study in the same university as you.

"Oikawa!!" calling him with tears in your eyes, nope you're not sad you're just happy to see him.

"Hey hey, don't tear up cry baby!" he pulled the chair in front of you and sat down, looking all the papers scattered on the table then looking at you in disbelief.

"What in the hell- this is a lot" you looked at him and gave him a look that says "I fucking know, right" then letting out a big sigh.

"Yes, great king this is a lot, but that's not all! I have a quiz on my major tomorrow, and I need to study three chapters," you complained, pulling your untied hair into a messy bun.

Oikawa did not speak but you still feel comforted with his presence, but then he opened the topic you really do not want to talk about.

"So how's it going with-"

"For customer y/n?" the barista cut him off mid sentence, great maybe he'll forget talking about him. Goddamnit Oikawa, y u gotta bring him up?

You stood up and went to the counter to get your order, doing everything slowly so he'll forget what he was about to say a while ago. But it's Oikawa we're talking about, he'll never stop until he knows the answer to his curiosity.

Reaching you seat and as soon as you sat down, he asked "So anyway, how's it going with Tobio-chan?"

You gave him a look that throws knives that could kill him.

"W-what? I'm just asking, just wanna know!"

"well... I don't fucking know what is wrong with him! He doesn't take all my hints and I do not want to tell him directly. Is he that stupid?" Oikawa laughed and you raised your eyebrow making him stop.

"Yes, he's stupid. You're a Psychology major why don't you use psychology instead of doing common things that common girls do. Then, bye! I gotta go, good luck with school... and with Tobio-chan!" then he made his way out leaving you confused and thinking.

Use psychology?

You shrug it off for now and just start working on your school papers that is due tomorrow and the day after tomorrow.

"I'm home!" you announced your arrival as soon as you stepped inside your house, going straight in your bedroom and changed into a pair of pajamas and comfortable shirt.

You set up your study table with your psychology book in it, a notebook, and some pens and highlighters.

You've been studying for half an hour and you just started on the second chapter out of three chapters, you don’t really mind sleeping late if you go to school with confidence that you’ll ace your quiz.

"Hmm, Classical Conditioning... by Pavlov. Okay okay. Hmm okay I understand" you muttered while reading the textbook definition of the term. Studying the three types of learning as indicated on your Psychology book, an idea – a brilliant one – came to the magnificent brain of yours. A smile forming in your lips as you continue your studying.

I bet this one will work so be ready Kageyama.

------

“Good morning Tooru-chan!” you cling your arm to your friend who’s giving you now a disgusted look, but you just gave him a wide smile.

“What’s gotten into you? Why do you look happy? Why are you happy? Are you okay? And why the fuck did you call me Tooru-chan? I’m older than you, you know?”

“Woah easy boy, eaaaasssy. Why flood me with questions? My mind is already flooded” flooded with thoughts of Kageyama.

“Flooded with thoughts of Kageyama” he said that earned a laugh from you, he looked down on you and furrowed his brows.

“It’s because of you that’s why I am thinking of him more than usual, idiot. You’re a genius. I complimented you, take it or leave it” You sassed and walked faster.

“Why? What? What are you talking about?” he asked as he ran to close the big distance between the two of you.

“You’ll know it, I’ll tell you when the time comes. I have 10 AM class, I gotta go. See ya!” You left him there, this time he is the one who is confused and thinking. Why is she so happy? Why did she call me a genius? Not that I do not think of myself as one, but why did she call me a genius?

Making your way to your classroom, you stopped by to a vending machine, buying two cartons of milk. This class is your major and Kageyama is in that class too, so it makes you extra excited to reach the room. This subject last for two hours but you don’t really mind since learning is everything, right? And you’re a flirt and seeing Kageyama for two hours is too much to make your heart go boom boom.

After the quiz, there was some time left so a little discussion took place until it’s time to wrap up.

Lunchtime. Okay, this will work. I trust you, Pavlov. Don’t let your bitch down!

“Uhh, Kageyama–”

“Damn!” his loud voice made you jump; you were stoned in your place. Heart beating faster with a little bit of pain, thinking that he was irritated by you. You are about to tear up and take your leave, but he spoke.

“Hey, you were saying something? I’m sorry, it’s just that I forgot to bring my milk” your eyes sparkled. Heart skipped a beat. You’re in cloud nine, thanking the Gods.

“Yes, uhh let’s eat lunch together and here, wait a sec” you rummage through your things to get that extra carton of milk you bought on the way here.

“Good thing I bought two milks, it must be destiny” you laughed and handed him the milk and it’s his turn for his eyes to sparkle, he was so touched because it’s milk, duh. He wouldn’t share his milk with everyone, but you shared yours. Now he thinks of you as a goddess… of milk, who give free milks to those who needs it.

“Let’s eat lunch” he announced. I am not going to let this opportunity slip, a goddess asked me out. He thought.

Yo what the fuck? He agreed! Yes, this is it. A love story will emerge.

The two of you made your way out of the classroom and walked towards the university cafeteria. Now, what to do? You don’t really know what to do now, you both are eating in silence.

Come on, brain I need you please don’t leave me hanging!

But your brain is not cooperating with you, lunchtime ended and you both parted ways. It’s okay, you feel contented, you ate lunch with him and tomorrow you are going to ask him again because giving up is not on your vocabulary.

You are so eager to make him like you, so you are pulling Classical Conditioning at him to make that happen, all thanks to Oikawa for giving you that idea.

-----

It’s been seven days since you started using classical conditioning. Giving him his daily milk, you bought at the vending machine, watching as his eyes go sparkle.

You noticed the changes of him. Whenever you showed up, a big smile is forming on his lips just like the smile you see when you bring him his milks, his face painted with happiness just like when he is drinking his milk, and how his eyes sparkled when you give him his milk.

You rummage through your things just like the past seven days and give him his carton of milk. You stretched out your arms and handed him the unopened carton.

“Here you go, Kageyama. Your daily dose of milk” you said as you sip on your own milk.

He eyed you and took the milk

“You don’t really have to do all this for me to like you” your eyes widened at his words. Shocked. Wondering if he knew it all this time.

“Huh?” is all you can say

“I know you’re pulling Classical Conditioning on me to make me like you, did you not realize that I am not going to like you if you do that?” Oh. It hurts. Pavlov, you let me down. I hate you. You thought. Standing there in front of him, waiting for him to say another word even if it pains you. He is so straightforward it hurts, right there in my heart. But what the fuck? I thought he was stupid. He understands what classical conditioning is when all he does is sleep in this class!

“How long have–” he cut you off mid-sentence

“You associated yourself with my favorite milk, it’s not you who makes me excited, it’s the milk” he continued. Why am I still standing here? Every word he’s saying hurts.

“But that will be the scenario if I don’t like you,” Huh? You looked up to him, teary-eyed. A confused look emitted through your eyes.

“But I already like you, your presence alone makes me excited. With or without the milk. So stop.” he confessed and all you gave him is a wide smile that is filled with pure delight.

Thank you, Pavlov. You did not let me down.

THANK YOU TO MY FAM @teentitannns and @gaydistriss!! I couldn't choose which character suits the plot and they helped me. Luv u.

#hq x reader #anime #haikyuu #sports anime #haikyuu!!#haikyuu x reader #hq #kageyama #kageyama tobio #kageyama x reader #kageyama tobio x reader #fluff #tobio x reader #college #college!au #college!kageyama #college!reader

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ships-and-saints · 7 years

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“I can’t stay away.” [Part 1] [Nesta x Cassian]

a/n: IT’S FINALLY HERE i hope you all like it!!! this is my first nessian fic, and it’s mainly from Cassian’s POV. let me know if you can’t wait for the next parts! and i’d LOVE to hear your thoughts, seriously they give me life and inspiration! also THANK YOU SO MUCH to Bianca aka @catastrophicallyinlovewithbooks for reading the early draft of this for me and offering awesome advice and constructive criticism, this piece would not be what it is right now without her!!!

NOTE: MAJOR ACOWAR SPOILERS!! MAJOR ACOWAR SPOILERS!! I also recommend reading Wings and Embers if you enjoy Nessian fics, the Target-exclusive chapter in ACOMAF! FST: Moth’s Wings (stripped down) by Passion Pit Word Count: 2280

Parts: [ teaser ] [ part 1 ] [ part 2 ] [ part 3 ] [ part 4 ] [ part 5 ] Read it on: [ fanfiction.net ] [ archive of our own ]

"Dear friend as you know, Your flowers are withering, Your mother's gone missing, Your leaves have drifted away.

But the clouds are clearing up And I've come reveling Burning incandescently Like a bastard on the burning sea"

- Moth's Wings (stripped down) by Passion Pit

Cassian

It had been a week and a half since Hybern's War ended, and Cassian wondered if perhaps he should write Nesta a letter.

What would he even say? Dear Nesta… I'm sorry about your father, but maybe training with me will help? Oh, and by the way, thanks for throwing your body over mine when the gods-damned King of Hybern tried to kill us both…?

Yeah, right. Cassian shook his head in irritation, his dark hair falling across his face. He frowned into the heavy, crystal tumbler he held, half-full of whiskey. What was it about words that made them so hard to grasp when he needed them the most?

During the first few days after the war ended, Cassian had gone to visit the Illyrian families of fallen warriors to mourn and pay his respects.

But afterwards, he returned to Velaris where he watched Nesta dutifully attend meals and push food around on her plate, barely speaking to anyone save for Feyre and Elain. Nesta just sat there with a cool, blank expression on her face, sitting and watching everyone.

Breakfast this morning was no different. Even though Elain had arranged freshly cut lilies and chrysanthemums in a slim, patterned vase, Cassian felt like he was watching the flowers wither in front of him.

Since the war ended, Nesta had holed herself up in her room nearly every day. Occasionally, she would have Feyre or Azriel fly her up to the House of Wind so she could sit in her favorite armchair at the library to read, preferring to be alone and undisturbed.

Cassian had been relying on Rhysand and Azriel as well, as his wings were out of commission after the war. But after a few days of rest and applying healing salve, his wings had healed enough for him to fly up to the House of Wind.

He hesitantly circled above, unsure of whether to go in and talk to Nesta or not. Imagined conversations started and trailed off in his mind as he warred internally.

During the few times he had mustered the courage to confront her, his usual verbal prods and cheeky remarks barely provoked a reaction from her, nothing like the barbed responses she usually volleyed back.

So he stayed away for a few more days, trying to give her space even though it deeply concerned him that she seemed to be slowly wasting away before his eyes.

Even her sisters looked worried, often swapping anxious glances. He once overheard them murmuring about whether Nesta might snap, whether the death of their father was just too much for her after all she had been through.

Elain was also mourning their father's death, but the Spring Court fox, Lucien Vanserra, had stuck around to comfort her. He had met Mr. Archeron while on his mission to find the firebird queen, and however brief their time together was, hearing Lucien speak about her father seemed to bring Elain some comfort.

And Azriel often visited Elain while she was tending her gardens, which improved her mood significantly. Lucien seemed resigned to their budding friendship.

Feyre had the Morrigan and her mate Rhysand for support, but even so… The three sisters were now orphaned, since their mother passed away long ago…

Standing on the balcony at the House of Wind, Cassian stared at the glowing lights of the city and ruminated on how much the situation had changed in just a few weeks. How before the culmination of the war, Elain had been the one who was in shock, who needed her soul soothed. How Azriel had been the one to hear and see what she needed, and Azriel had even given her Truth-teller, which saved both his and Nesta's damn necks…

Thinking about the Shadowsinger, Cassian had no choice but to begrudgingly acknowledge his brother Azriel seemed to have a knack with the Archeron women. Probably had to do with the fact that the dark-haired Illyrian was not only tall and handsome, but also mysterious with his shadows and all.

Cassian snorted and flexed his left fingers. I'm going to pummel him into the dirt next time we spar.

He wondered whether Azriel might have better luck talking to Nesta, but the thought sent both a jolt of jealousy and annoyance through his mind.

No. She's mine, he growled to himself, instinctively, the mating bond ringing in his head. Mine to take care of…

But then he shook his head violently, as if trying to fling the thoughts from his mind. No, not yet… Not yet. Maybe not ever, with how things are going. She doesn't even want to see me, let alone talk to me…

He wished that Nesta responded to his customary humor, how he dealt with serious situations. Idly, Cassian wondered how mad she'd be if he just left her a note that said, "Dear Nes, Can I touch your butt? Love, Cass," but he shook his head and tried to wipe the smirk off his face before someone asked him what he was laughing about. Perhaps one day, she would be more open and less… guarded around him.

"Why do you have that smarmy smirk on your face?" Mor breezed onto the balcony wearing one of her typical Night Court dresses, a long, pale yellow dress with geometric cutouts that put her golden-brown skin on display.

Cassian hid his irritation; Mor had a penchant for catching him off-guard. Instead, he replaced the remnants of his smirk with a lazy grin as he beheld her swishing towards him.

So different from the classic gowns Nesta usually wears, Cassian mused… Glancing down at his glass of whiskey, he took another swig for still thinking of Nesta.

Mor surveyed him as she awaited his answer, taking in his dark leathers and the swords strapped to his back. Typical Illyrian attire.

"Nothing," he replied smoothly, "Just glad to be alive, that's all."

Mor arched her perfect eyebrows, her red lips pursed reproachfully. "Me too. You were really cutting it close this time, you know, Cassian?" She put her hands on her hips and glared at him, although he could see in her eyes that she was relieved he was safe. And whole.

He nodded and turned to face the shining city, placing his scarred hands on the white balustrade. Mor's heels clicked as she stepped next to him, her wine glass clinking against the plaster as she stared up into the night sky.

They stood outside the House of Winds, enjoying the cool breeze and the smattering of stars glimmering overhead in the cloudless sky.

The silence was companionable at first, but gradually, Cassian felt a tension creep up, a slight unease emanating from Mor. She was staring down into the depths of her wine glass, as if she could simply divine the answers she sought if she squinted at the dregs of red wine hard enough.

Finally, she spoke, hesitantly. "Cassian… go to her," she said softly, "She needs you. And… you need her."

He didn't have to ask to know she was talking about Nesta.

Cassian gripped the crystal tumbler tighter, swirling the last few mouthfuls of whiskey that skimmed the bottom of the glass. "She… needs space. And time." He didn't know how many times he had repeated the words to himself. He downed the rest of the alcohol in his glass.

Mor snorted delicately, but the tone in her voice was… honest, resigned. "Listen to yourself. Just look at me, look how much time I've had. Years. Centuries. And it's never gotten me anywhere." She spoke candidly, and her demeanor was casual… but still, Cassian had known her long enough to see through the pretense, to see that she was anticipating his response.

He stilled and really looked at Mor then, his hazel eyes meeting her brown ones. An emotion he couldn't quite place stirred beneath the cool mask on her face.

Cassian's eyes narrowed slightly. Just as he suspected, something was different about her… Not bad, just different.

She broke the gaze first, turning to face the city and the skyline again. Blowing stray blonde strands from her face, the swirling emotion finally revealed itself; she looked chagrined. "Feyre and I… we exchanged… words during the battle… I was furious that she went off to chase the Suriel on her own, that she nudged me towards the battlefield, and as High Lady, she didn't trust me enough to tell me her plans…" She took a deep breath and let it out noisily.

Mor turned to face him, her face illuminated by the moonlight, her brown eyes bright and defiant. Swirling with strength and… conviction. And some fear, beneath it all.

"Cassian… I prefer women." She blew out a breath, her golden cheeks slightly flushing with color. "I haven't… admitted it or embraced it, even though I know how I feel won't change. But… my family, Hewn City…"

Mor's eyes squeezed shut as her face twisted and her body tensed. "What Rhys did… He let them into Velaris. Our home. My home…" She paused. "My sanctuary."

Her eyes finally opened and found his, and they were full of a deep, ancient sadness. Cassian didn't know what to say, so he just watched her, her chest heaving…

"We'll find a way through it. Together. We won't let them touch you." Cassian turned to face her.

Mor's eyes were full of agony, but then they shuttered. "They don't deserve this place," she said softly, miserably.

Cassian moved to put a head on her shoulder. "I know," he said. "They don't. But remember what Amren said before… she may have given up the essence of her past being, but she's still High Fae, and I have no doubt she'll still be able to keep the order and peace in this city." Mor nodded, although tears still threatened to escape from the corners of her eyes.

They both looked out at the city again. Cassian blew out a breath. "And who knows, maybe this place will change them."

Mor shot him an incredulous look. "Is that supposed to be a good thing?"

Cassian answered with a feral grin. "Well, the alternative is death. If they can't behave, we'll just spike their heads to the front gate and make an example of them."

Mor cracked a small smile at that, although her bottom lip wobbled.

"So... you prefer women, then? Is that why you spent all that time at Rita's?" Cassian probed.

"Yeah, Rita's… and after all that's happened, that's why… all this time, with Az…" Her eyes shuttered as if she were in pain, as if she couldn't bring herself to think about how she had hurt Azriel throughout the years, the centuries.

Cassian just stared at her, unblinking for a moment, before cocking his head, weighing his response.

She was right; it didn't matter to him which gender Mor preferred. All he wanted was for… for Mor to be happy. And Az too, although he'd always been slightly jealous of his friend's fixation with the Morrigan.

And… Cassian had suspected that something was different with Mor, although he had always shoved the thoughts from his mind, thinking that the right to do was to let the Morrigan sort out her own truths. Like the rest of the Inner Circle had, for centuries.

But after so many years of coming between her and Azriel, he knew something wasn't quite right, that they weren't meant to be tied together because the mating bond should have snapped into place within five centuries…

"Cassian," Mor's voice was low and commanding, snapping Cassian from his thoughts, "Go to her. Don't talk to her like you talk to me. Don't treat her like you treat me, because she's not like us. She's not one of us."

Cassian just stared and stared at her then, while thoughts and images of Nesta flooded through his mind, unspoken conversations starting and ending as he agonized over what to say.

But he finally nodded, and unfurled his wings. His eyes met hers, and Mor looked… sorrowful, but contemplative. More… at peace with herself than Cassian had seen before.

"You know it doesn't matter to me, who you love, who you prefer… As long as you're happy. Have you told Rhys?" he asked softly. Mor's brown eyes trailed the edges of his repaired wings.

She nodded, looking somewhat guiltily. "Yeah, I told him before you… But that's because he and Feyre are mated." She made a long-suffering face and Cassian laughed. "She said she wouldn't tell him, but that stupid bat would've somehow found out anyway, and I wanted him to hear it from me."

"We'll protect you from your family, no matter what. But, you need to tell Az," he told her firmly. "Yourself."

Mor lifted her chin but looked unhappy. "I know. Will it… change things? Between us all?"

Cassian scanned her eyes and shrugged. One side of his mouth quirked up. "I mean, it won't change what's happened already… but maybe it will bring you both peace. Truth sets us free, and all that, remember?"

Smiling crookedly, he flicked her nose with his finger and then launched himself into the clear, night sky before Mor could do anything more than cry out in retaliation. He smirked to himself, catching an updraft with his widespread wings, steering himself towards Rhys and Feyre's townhouse.

Towards Nesta.

Ever since the War, the bond had felt more real to him, more tangible, and he unconsciously brushed it…

Nesta, Nesta, Nesta… even the winds and skies knew her; they carried her name and whispered it in his ear as he soared in her direction, following the tug from his heart.

#i can't stay away fic #nessian #nesta x cassian #nessian fic #acowar #acowar spoilers #acomaf #acotar #nesta archeron #feyre x rhysand #morrigan #azriel #post-acowar #katnip writes

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