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#and am spending half of my holidays writing
thelastwalkingsoul · 1 year
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I’ve had more writing ideas in past 7 months than I’ve had in the past 7 years.
The power of Steddie.
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jinkis · 11 months
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i hate everything
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#about to go on a rant cause i'm  ✨ stressed  ✨#i'm currently at the very end of my masters degree so i can be a fully qualified secondary teacher#however due to the teacher shortage i have been allowed to start working as a full time teacher and have been doing so for the last year#i love my job i love the kids i love the staff members#what i dont love is having to finish off my masters degree when i've been working in the profession for a year#i have learnt more being in the classroom for a year than my whole 7 years at uni doing my undergrad and masters#i am TIRED of having to waste my time and come up with bullshit assessments just so i can get this stupid degree#schools are on winter holidays at the moment and i am meant to be relaxing or prepping for the term ahead#but no ... i've been stuck in my room for the past week doing uni assessments to prove that i know how to implement teaching strategies#and showcase how to write a lesson plan EVEN THOUGH NO TEACHER EVER WRITES ONE WHILE WORKING???????????#i just feel really bad for the kids cause i spend all my free time doing my uni shit or sleeping cause im so drained#i never have enough time to organise things for my lessons or come up with fun learning activities#usually i just do the bare minimum and pray for a pass#but this assessment just has a satisfactory/unsatisfactory mark so i cant just half ass this shit#also can yall believe that im only half way through this assessment??????????#i still have so much more to do ughhhh#anyway if you read all that im sorry and thank you#marie.txt
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myheartxmyman · 2 months
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Hätte ich die Wahl zwischen vergewaltigt werden, dafür aber alles ab Silvester nicht so abgelaufen wäre wie es ist. Oder nie wieder vergewaltigt werden, und die Realität wäre weiterhin die Realität, dann würde ich ohne zu zögern Option eins wählen.
preferred. If you wanted to spend new years eve with me you would have taken this 10 minutes drive .. I mean you were able to drive 9 times longer in the other direction. The other proof that "wish I would be with you on the tower like last year' wasn't the truth is, that you booked that flight. If what you wrote would have been the truth you should have been like 'I want to be with her. Now I am with my mates and over one hour drive away from her. I should at least spend the 1th of January with her. Celebrating our own new years eve like we did the year before.' Instead you booked a flight. YOU BOOKED A FUCKING FLIGHT. That alone broke my heart because I waited and waited and waited and hoped again and again and again. Instead of spending my father's money on trips/vacations/traveling/exploring I LITERALLY SPENT IT ON SHIT. Because people have to eat, while waiting for things that are never gonna happen. And then, out of nowhere YOU BOOK A FUCKING FLIGHT. And what really shattered my being, my trust in you, what ripped my heart out, what nearly cut our already damaged bond completely through was the LOCATION you went to. You lied by saying 'that's a coincidence it was the cheapest flight', and you really brought the fucking Robin thing GETTING MY HOPES UP THAT YOU ARE GONNA STAY, and then left nevertheless. You KNEW, you did it aswell. I would have given you those 500€ without hesitation, but I had no worth at all for you. And I begged, I tried to find a compromise, it didn't matter to you. I didn't matter. You decided what you wanna do like living a single life. Your behavior had ABSOLUTELY NOTHING TO DO WITH A RELATIONSHIP. I can't understand how you were able to hurt me that bad. How the fucking hell could you do to me what you did?! And sadly it wasn't the first time I had that awful thought in mind. Sometimes you are the CRULEST person I ever met. How just how?!?! You enjoyed yourself, having a good time sitting in the sand, in the warmth, listening to the sound of the ocean, watching a sunset with another girl right next to you. Just thinking about this makes my insides cringe in agony and tremendous pain. And said girl 'she's just a friend of Aman', was always right by your side. Leg pressed on leg. Her leg was pressed to yours not to Amans leg who was sitting on the right side next to her. On your esplanade stroll or whatever it was you were walking closest to her, directly behind her, looking happy like you were living your best life. At the same time I had one breakdown after the other. Because I was stupid enough to trust you. I trusted you completely and you smashed it. I saw the way you were looking at her and I know your behavior good enough to see some things. You did quite a lot of things those last months that hurt me badly, but your 'Männertrip' killed something inside of me and I can't look at you the same.
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kyurilin · 5 months
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"plan ahead for a healthy and happy holiday" YES THANK YOU CVS I TRIED TO PLAN AHEAD BUT YOU DROPPED THE BALL ON REFILLING MY ADHD MEDS FOR THE THIRD TIME IN 2023 and frankly if they fuck me over again on today the 29th when they've told me since the 18th that it will be ready i will be punching a pharmacist for flat out lying :)
#i should not be spending my entire holiday break stressing about this!!!!#i should not be losing my MCMIND EVERY DAY#i literally was humming nonsense to myself while wandering walmart yhe other day#i can't stay still#i cant hardly get to sleep until i manage to lose all my energy while telling myself to please focus on sleeping#I DEFINITELY CANT FUCKING WRITE#I GOT TO READ TODAY ONLY BECAUSE I HAD SAVED ONE OF MY HALF DOSES FROM THE LAST TIME THIS SHIT HAPPENED TO GO SEE MY GRANDMA#i literally do not give a fuck if this isnt the pharmacy's fault I. Blame. Them.#they should be held accountable for not having a better handle on this after the last few months#if there is still a shortage you should not be making peoplr go off their medication for WEEKS at a time while we wait without you ever#updating us on whether or not it will actually be there when you tell us#in fact if your stupid fucking estimate tells me for 11 days that it will happen on a certain day and it ends up not showing on that day#you should be held fucking accountable for that#i dont want your fucking fake ass estimate i want you to get on tbe phone and tell me exactly when to expect my medicine#because i'm so sick and tired of having absolutely NOTHING i can do to get my medicine on time#i fucking HATE my brain when i dont have medicine#i hate that i'm wasting my two week break hating this fucking curse i got bestowed on me#if it continues past tomorrow into next week there's nothing on earth that can stop me from ranting to the cvs#and i do not care if they dont deserve it i am SICK AND TIRED#so anyways yes i tried to be fucking tesponsible and their cheery voice message lady tellinh me to plan ahead is such a fuckinh joke
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johns-prince · 7 months
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if you don’t mind, what are some of your favorite soft mclennon moments?
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JOHN: I used to try to get George to rebel with me. I’d say to him, “Look, we don’t need these fuckin’ suits. Let’s chuck them out of the window.” My little rebellion was to have my tie loose with the top button of my shirt undone. Paul’d always come up to me and put it straight. [x]
PAUL: There’s a story that I used to straighten John’s tie before we went on stage. That seems to have become a symbol of what my attitude was supposed to have been. I’ve never straightened anyone’s tie in my life, except perhaps affectionately.
The Times Profile of Paul McCartney - 1982 [x]
“And John and Paul thought back to the time they’d been in Paris before. Flat-broke, unable to afford a taxi, without funds for a decent meal. ‘Maybe we’ll buy the Eiffel Tower this time’, said John with a grin.”
“The Beatles in Paris.” Beatles Book Monthly Magazine No. 8 (March 1964). [x]
““Okay, okay,” I said, “don’t go on, John.” I felt a surge of embarrassment because my instrument was the cause of such hilarity. “Look guys, that’s enough. What have you two been doing while we’ve been struggling to get here? I hope you’ve done some practising and got the song list sorted out?” I was getting more and more annoyed as this episode was dragging on. “Yeah, yeah, don’t worry Len. Paul and I have got it all sorted out. Haven’t we Paul? Paul! Paul! I said haven’t we Paul?” Paul McCartney looked up with a wry smile and paused. “Tonight will run just like clockwork. I am going to give the audience the best rendition of ‘Guitar Boogie’ they have ever heard this side of Garston.” “Hey, this is a new twist,” I said. “Paul just cracked a joke. He must have a sense of humour after all, John, shall we have him in the group?” John was enjoying the banter as ever. “Yeah, we’ll give him another try and if you don’t get it right this time, Jimmy,” Jimmy (James) was Paul’s first name, “then…” John waited to see the expression on Paul’s face. “Then we’ll,” again a pause, and by this time we were hanging on John’s next words, “then we’ll have to send him for some more guitar lessons!” Paul joined in the laughter and at that we were all back to normal.”
— Len Garry, John, Paul and Me: Before The Beatles. (1997) [x]
“One of my great memories of John is from when we were having some argument. I was disagreeing and we were calling each other names. We let it settle for a second and then he lowered his glasses and he said: “It’s only me.” And then he put his glasses back on again. To me, that was John. Those were the moments when I actually saw him without the facade, the armour, which I loved as well, like anyone else. It was a beautiful suit of armour. But it was wonderful when he let the visor down and you’d just see the John Lennon that he was frightened to reveal to the world.” [x]
“Whatever bad things John said about me, he would also slip his glasses down to the end of his nose and say, ’I love you’. That’s really what I hold on to. That’s what I believe. The rest is showing off.” [x]
“I remember being shocked one day when John started worrying about how people would remember him when he was gone. It was an incredibly vulnerable thing for him to come out with. I said to him then, ‘They’ll remember you as a fucking genius, because that’s what you are. But, you won’t give a shit because you’ll be up there, flying across the universe.’” [x]
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“If John Lennon could come back for a day, how would you spend it with him?”�� “In bed.” — Paul McCartney answers questions for Q magazine, 1998. [x]
“John and I grew up like twins although he was a year and a half older than me. We grew up literally in the same bed because when we were on holiday, hitchhiking or whatever, we would share a bed. Or when we were writing songs as kids he’d be in my bedroom or I’d be in his. Or he’d be in my front parlour or I’d be in his, although his Aunt Mimi sometimes kicked us out into the vestibule!”
— September 26, 1997, “Paul McCartney - Meet The Beatle” by Steve Richards [x]
“We were recording the other night, and I just wasn’t there. Neither was Paul. We were like two robots going through the motions. We do need each other alot. When we used to get together after a month off, we used to be embarrassed about touching each other. We’d do an elaborate handshake just to hide the embarrassment… or we did mad dances. Then we got to hugging each other.”
— John Lennon, The Beatles by Hunter Davies [x]
Q: “What musician and composer do you respect most?” Paul: “No, I don’t know, really... John Lennon!” John: *mock-shy* “...Paul McCartney.” [x]
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conversations with mccartney, paul du noyer [x]
“It was 8:30. I could hear people talking about the likelihood of a storm later on that evening. I can remember hoping that it would clear up before my cycle ride back to Wavertree. Up to now it had been an eventful day but very tiring and as a group, although committed to playing, we all wished that we could pack up and go home. All of us apart from John Lennon. I think that meeting Paul had whetted his appetite and by the time we went on stage for our session at 8:45 he looked refreshed and seemed to have a new sparkle, as though he had had an injection of renewed optimism and enthusiasm as he played and sang through our usual repertoire that evening. […] I went outside for some air and a smoke; John and Pete decided to come with me. We stood outside pulling on our cigarettes, enjoying the breeze that had risen with the oncoming storm. “Do you know, John,” remarked Pete as we stood outside, “I’ve never heard you sound as good as you did just then. I know you’re going to say that I’m not very musical but I could hear the difference. I can see that something’s happened to you. Even the skiffle numbers which I know you’re not that keen on sounded good. You seem to have put more effort into them.” “Pete’s right, John. I couldn’t help noticing it as well,” I said. John was silent for a few minutes, just enjoying his smoke. “I guess someone took the trouble to share what he knew with me and it’s just given me a little encouragement for the future, that’s all.” “Oh I see, you’re getting a little sentimental in your old age, aren’t you,” joked Pete, who had never seen his life-long friend in that light before. “Don’t be thick, Pete,” replied John, who seemed almost back to his normal abrupt self. “Come on, I need a drink.”” — Len Garry, John, Paul and Me: Before The Beatles. (1997) [x]
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[x]
Paul's persistence and endless patience for John while he was dealing with the death of his mother Julia:
But Paul seemed to have limitless patience for John, sneaking away from his classes to drink coffee at the Jacaranda coffeehouse, or else spend the afternoon nursing pints and punching rock ‘n’ roll songs on the jukebox at Ye Cracke pub. Certainly, Paul preferred hanging out with his friend to grinding through lectures and assignments at his schoolboy’s desk at the Liverpool Institute. But the hours they spent together held an emotional significance, too. For even if they rarely spoke about the pain of losing their mothers, the mutual feelings of loss—and the rawness of John’s wound—gave them a connection that was as vital as it was unspoken. It was, Paul said later, a “special bond for us, something of ours, a special thing.” … “We could look at each other,” Paul said, “and know.”” 
John, however, had other things on his mind. Though the fall of 1958 and well into 1959, John was far too busy engaging in art-school life—if not exactly his studies—to think much about playing in a rock ‘n’ roll band. He had started dating another student, a quiet blonde from the relatively posh Hoylake district on the Wirral, named Cynthia Powell. She proved a warm, stabilizing influence, which helped mitigate John’s ongoing grief and rage.
He had also grown particularly close to one of the school’s most promising students, a blazingly talented painter named Stuart Sutcliffe, whose emotional portraits and densely wrought abstracts had already caught the eye of the university’s instructors, along with the gallery owners, artists and critics who orbited the bohemian section that bordered the campus. John had been drawn to Stu’s talent, too, and when his classmate invited John to move into his large, if downtrodden, flat around the corner from the college in a row of once-elegant homes on Gambier Terrace, the two art students became even closer. The flat became a hub for their college friends, a reliable address for drinking bouts and all-night parties.
 Nevertheless, Paul made certain not to be a stranger. He was a regular around Gambier Terrace, often toting his guitar to spur a little playing and singing, and if circumstance permitted, a bit of songwriting. John remained an eager music fan, and generally enthusiastic partner for playing and singing. But his disinterest in the band, prompted at least in part by his deepening friendship with Stu, frustrated Paul. 
John was moving on, and not in a promising direction. George, for his part, had grown sick of waiting and joined the jazz-and-skiffle centered Les Stewart Quartet, though he made it clear to Paul he’d be back with the Quarrymen whenever they resumed playing. Paul, on the other hand, wasn’t interested in playing with anyone else. For whatever combination of emotional or visceral reasons, he couldn’t seem to imagine a musical life that didn’t include John Lennon as his primary partner.
So he persisted, dragging his guitar to Gambier Terrace, making himself a fixture amid the empty beer bottles, overflowing ashtrays, shattered Vicks inhalers, and paint-splattered clothes.
If John didn’t evince any interest in being in a band, Paul would simply wait, guitar at the ready, until he did.
— Peter Ames Carlin, Paul McCartney: A Life [x]
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siriuslovebot · 5 months
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˖ ࣪⭑˖ ࣪𝒊𝒄𝒆 𝒔𝒌𝒂𝒕𝒊𝒏𝒈 ➸ 𝒓𝒆𝒎𝒖𝒔 𝒍𝒖𝒑𝒊𝒏˖ ࣪⭑ ˖ ࣪
𓏲 ࣪₊♡𓂃 𝑨𝑵𝑶𝑵𝒀𝑴𝑶𝑼𝑺 𝑨𝑺𝑲𝑬𝑫: hello my love! ik you’ve already made a couple but i was wondering if you could make another one of those mouse ones, if you’re not up for it that’s completely fine! thank you for taking the time to read this!
𝑨𝑵𝑶𝑵𝒀𝑴𝑶𝑼𝑺 𝑨𝑺𝑲𝑬𝑫: we all need more remus x mouse!!!
𝑨𝑵𝑶𝑵𝒀𝑴𝑶𝑼𝑺 𝑨𝑺𝑲𝑬𝑫: please write another remus lupin x mouse fluff please. i love your writing style. it's just perfect<33
𝑾𝑨𝑹𝑵𝑰𝑵𝑮𝑺: injured reader, the nickname 'mouse', some embarrassing (possibly?) moments, nothing else i can think of??
𝑺𝑼𝑴𝑴𝑨𝑹𝒀: after convincing the reader to go ice skating, things end up going a bit sideways for the marauders.
𝑨/𝑵: merry christmas (and happy holidays) everyone! here is a bit of a late gift for you all! i was astonished to see the amount of requests for more remus x mouse! i didn't even include all of them here. i'm sorry i've been mia for so long! this one may be a bit rusty, but i hope you all enjoy even if i am a little out of practice! (also this is unedited so if you see any typos/mistakes no you didn't)
𝑾𝑶𝑹𝑫 𝑪𝑶𝑼𝑵𝑻: 3.3k 𓂃♡₊⭑
·͙⁺˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚⁺‧͙⁺˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚⁺‧͙⁺˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚⁺‧͙•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚⁺‧͙⁺
“it’s bloody freezing out here,” mutters sirius, his voice gruff in the early morning air.
you roll your eyes, glancing at him out of the corner of your eye. in your peripheral, you can see his mussed hair and dark circles, as well as the scowl that colours his handsome features. 
“you should’ve stayed behind if you’re going to whine, sirius,” you respond, raising your brows.
he wrinkles his nose, looking an awful lot like he’s smelled something foul. “are you mad? i’m not staying cooped up in that castle when you lot are out here having fun. where’s moony?” he looks at you expectantly.
“running late, i suppose,” you glance at your watch, a christmas gift from remus. it’s charmed, the tiny mice printed on the watch frolicking around as you get the time. your face turns pink, embarrassed although you love the little watch. you hope sirius doesn’t see. you’d never hear the end of it. 
“well, it’s half eight. earliest i’ve been up in weeks.” sirius yawns, swiping his sleeve across his face.
you roll your eyes again. you knew the lot of them would be menaces upon returning from the christmas holidays. sirius spent the two weeks of holiday break at james’s house, the two of them likely driving the potters out of their minds. the pair of them had clearly suffered from a lack of sleep, made clear by sirius’s incessant complaining about being up early. 
you wanted to spend the holidays at hogwarts, hoping that remus might convince his parents to let him do the same, with no luck. you suffered a miserable two weeks at home, your parents refusing to let you out of their sight for a second. you hardly even had time to respond to the owls sent by your friends; notably, a muggle christmas card of lily and her family, an odd photo of sirius and james wearing charmed elves’ hats, and a sweet note from remus wishing you a merry christmas and promising you a gift upon your return to school. 
thus, you are excited to spend a few hours having fun with your friends without worrying about lessons. if only you can wrestle sirius out of his grumpy mood. 
there’s a chorus of boots crunching through snow behind you, and you turn to find lily approaching. james and remus trail close behind, with marlene at the back. 
“what’s with the frown?” lily makes a face at sirius, who makes another disgruntled face.
“hasn’t got his beauty sleep,” you warn, a smile playing on your lips.
“you’d know about that, wouldn’t you?” sirius says crossly.
you raise your eyebrows at him.
“simmer down, pads,” james says, bright as ever. “don’t mind him. he’s just peeved because of that detention mcgonagall gave him.”
he pats his friend on the back, accompanied only by a grumble from the long-haired boy.
“yes,” says remus, “who knew she would catch him trying to turn marie littletree’s quill into a bowtruckle?” 
“all right,” says sirius. “i get it. i’ll paint a stupid little grin on my face like prongs here. can we get on with it?” he grins at the confused half-smile on james’s face, then nudges his friend in the shoulder. 
“right,” says marlene. “lily’s got an itinerary.”
“yes,” says the redhead. “first hogsmeade weekend back, and i’ve got plans. now, the three broomsticks is going to be absolutely swimming with people.”
“it’s always swimming with people,” james chimes.
“right,” she gives him a sharp look, and he scratches his neck awkwardly. “i was thinking, we should skip the morning crowd, and have a go at ice skating.”
“ice skating!”
“ice skating?”
james and your exclamations mirror one another, as you both gawk at lily. james looks like a child on christmas morning, and you look… well, terrified. 
“oh, godric, i’m going to be so embarrassed. i can hardly walk, lils, much less skate!” you groan, feeling the exasperation sirius has been bleeding all morning. 
“c’mon, y/n!” james gives you a shake around the shoulders, looking excited. “you’ll be fine. a little arresto momentum, and you’re saved.”
“right, and which one of you is going to babysit me to keep me from face planting?” you glare at him.
“sounds like a job for moony, if y’ask me,” says sirius smugly. he’s already strutting towards the pond, james close on his heels. 
marlene grins, and lily looks at you pleadingly. “c’mon, y/n,” she begs, pouting like a child.
“it’ll be fun,” marlene adds.
you huff, not wanting to feel like a buzzkill. 
remus places a gentle hand on your shoulder, squeezing gently. you sigh.
“you’ll be all right,” he urges, voice soft. 
you sigh, but concede. “fine.” 
lily and marlene cheer, taking off behind james and sirius on their way to the pond.
you frown, glancing over at remus as you fall into a slow pace following them.
“do i have to?” you wonder aloud, hooking your arm through his as you crunch through the hardened snow.
remus smiles down at you, a gentle smile finding his lips. his cheeks are pink from the cold already, his honeyed hair sticking out in tufts from beneath his knit hat. your stomach does a flip, and you have to force yourself not to look away.
“don’t tell me you’re scared, mouse,” he says, raising an eyebrow.
“scared? pfft, i don’t get scared,” you mutter, rolling your eyes.
“oh, really?”
“really. but i know my strengths. and ice-foot coordination is not one of them. i’m preparing to embarrass the wits out of myself.” 
“it can’t possibly be that bad,” he says.
“have you met me, rem? i tripped over the air just last night.”
“i actually think that was a badly timed jinx from sirius.”
“i hope you’re joking.”
“afraid not.”
“oh, he’s got it coming.” you shake your head, remembering the burn of your cheeks as you tumbled in a heap in the common room. remus came over, smiling to himself as he helped pick up your things. you’d wanted to crawl into a hole and hide for the rest of the night.
as you approach the pond, you blink at the sight of a few other students gliding over the frozen water. you blink, not feeling confident in your abilities. you can feel your legs wobbling already, hearing the sound of yourself crashing into the ice. 
“okay,” you stop in your tracks, grabbing remus by his wrists. he faces you, eyes expectant.
“yes?” he humours you, looking as serious as you feel.
“promise you won’t laugh if i fall.”
his features crack into a smile, his head falling as he laughs softly. “c’mon, mouse,” he nudges you, draping an arm over your shoulders. he’s warm, and you lean into him as he leads you closer to the water’s edge, where your friends have already conjured up their ice skates. 
“if you laugh, i’ll never forgive you.”
“i’ll keep an eye on you,” he says, “and i promise i won’t laugh.” 
“holding you to it,” you say, joining marlene and lily by the pond.
“here,” marlene takes half a second and conjures you a pair of skates, untied on your feet. 
james and sirius are already on the ice, flitting around faster than you can keep up with. they’re a pair of blurs, their laughter ringing through the air. 
you make a face, your ears burning just at the thought of how you’re going to look trying to keep your feet beneath yourself. you don’t even notice your untied laces as you wobble towards the ice.
“just a second, mouse,” remus says softly, his large frame stooping to tie your shoes.
your face goes red as you glance down at him, feeling sheepish. “sorry,” you say, “i could have done that.”
“i’ve got it,” remus hums, his scarred hands tying your skate laces with expertise. 
he’s towering over you again in half a second, winking at you as he reaches down to grasp your hand. his skin is warm, even through both pairs of your gloves, and you feel a bit better. 
“y’alright?” remus wonders aloud, guiding you to the edge of the ice. he steps on gracefully, somehow able to keep his feet from sliding beneath him. you stare down at his skates, nervous.
you frown. “i’m scared,” you admit, face darkening with embarrassment.
“don’t be scared,” remus says. 
he tugs your hand, smiling warmly. you hate how persuasive he is; his soft voice and gentle smile have a way of turning you into a gushing mess in the palm of his hands. no one knows how to make you feel better like remus does. 
“you’ll still love me if i make a fool out of myself, right?” you wonder aloud, stepping slowly onto the ice. you tuck your bottom lip between your teeth, focused on keeping yourself upright. 
“i’d love you even if you made a fool out of the whole world, love.”
he’s laughing as you join him on the ice, the velvety deep sound sending butterflies rampaging through your stomach. he grasps your hand, ever so gently, and pulls you to the center of the ice, where fewer of the other students are. your classmates fly by, agile and quick on the ice. you feel somewhat like a baby deer, your legs wobbly beneath you. 
“see, not so bad, is it?” remus encourages, his features now split in a jovial grin. his tawny eyes glitter with amusement, the corners crinkled by his big smile.
“no, i guess not,” you agree, fingers still gripping the sleeve of his coat in a vice.
“d’you want to try on your own?” he inquires. his long fingers loosen their hold on your wrist, but you tighten your own around him.
“no–not yet!” you squeak, moving closer to him and throwing your arms around his middle. he laughs, his chest rumbling against your cheek. you take a deep breath.
“sorry,” he chuckles, smoothing a hand over your hair. “i’ve got you, m’little mouse.” 
you blink, peeking around his frame to see sirius and lily engaged in a race across the pond, their speeding frames silhouetted by the snowy landscape behind them. a grin spreads over your features, watching as james and marlene cheer them on. 
“i don’t know how they do it,” you muse, shaking your head.
“you’ll be racing them in no time,” remus says teasingly, slowly unraveling your death grip around him. 
“if you say so,” you murmur.
remus pulls you along gently, gaining some speed as you become more comfortable at the feeling of being on the ice. after several minutes, you’re no longer as unstable on your feet. you hardly even shriek when james charges at the pair of you at full speed, spraying you with a shower of ice as he stops at the last second.
“you git,” you hiss, sending a snowball his way with a flick of your wand.
he curses loudly, already halfway across the pond when it hits his back. lily and marlene dissolve into a fit of giggles, while remus chuckles gently. 
you don’t even notice that he isn’t holding you steady anymore. distracted, you’ve released your grasp on his sleeve, and are slowly gliding alongside him. you’re closer to the edge of the pond, your feet steady beneath you as you gather confidence. 
“feeling okay?” remus has spun around, facing you as he skates backwards.
what a showoff, you think, but you say nothing. he doesn’t know it, but you adore just how easily he picks up on the things you find to be absolutely mind-boggling. despite his insistence that he’s nothing special, he picks up on skills with ease. he’s a talented wizard, quick-witted and good at solving problems under pressure. it’s precisely why he excels in school, despite being out around each full moon and sometimes struggling to come out of his shell.
“thanks to you,” you say, flushing. “i wouldn’t be out here if it weren’t for you, you know.”
he smiles sheepishly, his wind-chapped face going a deeper shade of pink. “sure you would.”
you laugh, shaking your head. “i’m serious, rem,” you say. “thank you.”
“don’t thank me,” he says, looking more than a little embarrassed. 
you reach for him, wanting to hold his hand, but you see concern flash in his eyes. your eyes widen, but before you can say anything he’s already reaching for you.
“watch out–”
but you’ve both reacted too late. another student slams into your shoulder, knocking you off kilter. you squeal, falling to the ice too quickly for either you or remus to react. the air feels as if you’re caught in slow motion for a second; the ice is approaching your face with extreme speed, glistening in the morning sun. without thinking, you brace with one hand, the other halfway reaching towards remus. 
your arm breaks your fall, and there’s a sickening crack as you hit the ice. it’s harder than you thought. you shriek, a sickening pain rocketing up your wrist and shoulder as you finally collapse completely.
“shit,” remus hisses, crouching as you feel his hands on your shoulders, trying to help you up to a sitting position.
you’re too focused on the excruciating pain in your arm to realize that you’re crying. the tears are hot against your skin, burning your cold cheeks as you sit up. you clutch your arm with your other hand, looking at the horrible purple lump already protruding at your wrist.
“merlin,” you sob, “it’s broken!” the sight of the bone jabbing at the inside of your arm makes your stomach do a turn, and you force yourself to look away. remus crouches in front of you, his worried face swimming in your teary vision. 
you hear your friends shouting, and several nasty words directed at the student who slammed into you. you glance over, seeing marlene dragging sirius away by his scarf as he tries to throttle the poor third-year student. 
lily skates towards you, slowing as she approaches.
“oh, dear,” she says, as she sees your arm.
“it’s bad, isn’t it?” you ask, glancing between remus and lily. you can’t force yourself to look back at the arm, feeling as if you’re going to faint if you have to see the bruises blooming over your arm.
“not so bad,” lily lies, offering a forced smile.
“we’ve got to get some help. you need to see madam pomfrey.” remus says. he’s crouched, one hand coming out to wipe the tears from your face. you breathe in his scent, trying to ground yourself. 
james, sirius, and marlene finally join you, sirius still cursing the student as marlene drags him over. 
“ugh,” james says as he sees your injury. 
sirius peers over remus’ shoulder, his eyes blazing with fury as he sees the extent of your injury. “i’m going to curse the bollocks off of that kid!” he hisses, reaching for his wand, tucked into his coat pocket.
“sirius, stop it!” marlene scolds. “we have to do something about that arm. there’s no way y/n’s making it back to the castle in this state.”
“i’m fine,” you insist, though your stomach is rolling unpleasantly. you think you’d likely vomit if you had to stand. 
“you’re not fine,” remus says, his voice stern. “your arm’s gone sideways. you need to be in the hospital wing.”
“we can’t move her like this,” james says, sounding as sick as you are.
“let lily have a go at it. she put my pinky right when that bludger hit it at practice,” says sirius. 
“your pinky?” remus says incredulously. “i think an arm’s a bit more important than a pinky.”
“rem,” you say, nudging him with your foot. “it’s fine. i trust lily. besides, i think i’ll be sick if we don’t do something now.”
remus sighs, his eyes dark with worry. he places a hand on your knee, shifting slightly to let lily get closer. “fine.” you can tell he’s not happy about it. 
“marlene, go get some help, will you?” you say, your head swimming. you feel closer to fainting by the minute, shock setting in.
“‘course i will.” she’s gone in a flash.
“okay,” you breathe, closing your eyes as you wait for lily to fix your arm. 
“right, then,” she pulls her want out of her pocket, leaning closer. there’s a second of silence before she says, “episkey!”
only, the spell doesn’t go quite right. a blinding hot pain blooms in your arm, and you shriek again. this time, you’re not strong enough to keep from fainting. white spots bloom behind your vision, and you collapse. 
you wake hours later, in the hospital wing. you stir, your throat dry as you turn over in the cot. your vision is blurry as you peel your eyes open, finding your arm wrapped in some kind of sling. madam pomfrey is nowhere in sight, but remus is slumped in a chair at your beside.
his eyes are closed, his breathing steady as he sits. his head rests lazily against the back of the chair. you study his face; his scars shine in the sliver of evening light that spills in from the window behind you. you groan as you move, your entire body aching.
your muscles throb, the fall having taken its toll on you. you watch him for a few minutes, the delicate rise and fall of his chest. his hair falls in golden wisps over his forehead and his ears, tickling the nape of his neck. you smile, glad he’s getting some rest. you’re sure he’s been perched in that uncomfortable chair all day. he’s probably missed all of his meals, crouched by your bed worrying.
you smile to yourself, wondering how you’ve ended up with someone so perfect. 
he stirs finally, his eyes crinkling as he yawns.
“rem,” you say softly, catching his attention as he opens his eyes.
“hey, sleepyhead,” he says, a tired smile painting his features.
you reach for him with your good hand, his long fingers reaching out and enveloping yours with ease. his skin is warm as he brings your hand to his lips, holding it there for a moment. your face heats up. embarrassed, you want to sink down into the cot and disappear, but you can’t run from him. he knows you too well.
“have you been here all day?” you wonder.
“of course,” he says, as if you’d be crazy to think otherwise. 
“you didn’t have to do that.”
“yes i did,” he says, frowning. “it’s my fault you went out there in the first place. you wouldn’t be hurt if i hadn’t convinced you to go skating.”
“hey,” you scold, “don’t say that. it’s not your fault. none of it’s your fault.”
he shakes his head, looking apologetic. you sigh, squeezing his hand.
“i’m serious, rem. i don’t blame you. i had a lot of fun, until that kid ran into me, at least.” you grin, trying to lighten the mood.
he can’t help the smile that creeps onto his features. “poor guy,” he says, “sirius wanted to hunt him down so badly. said he was willing to have detention for the rest of the year, if it meant he got his revenge.”
you roll your eyes. “what a hothead,” you laugh. 
“yeah, think the kid was pretty scared too. he send a card up, and some chocolate frogs.” remus passes you a card. you open it up, and a flock of little birds explodes from the paper, as well as a bright, sparkling message that says get well soon!
you smile, feeling much better already. you squeeze remus’s hand again, closing the card as he passes you a chocolate frog. 
“thank you,” you say in response, though both of you know you’re not just thanking him for the chocolate.
he nods in response, leaning over to press a kiss against your forehead.
tags: @delulu4marauders
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michelle-is-writing · 3 months
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Birthday Pie, Spencer Reid
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I was inspired to write this while watching the earlier seasons, so I know I wrote this a very long time ago.
Word Count: 1.1k~
Waiting at Spencer's desk with the rest of the team, we all happily stand in anticipation of the celebration of a certain holiday. Today is October 12th, meaning it is officially Spencer's birthday, and because of the very special occasion, we plan on spending it the best way we can. We'll have "cake" here in the morning and let him open our gifts for him, then once we all get off of work later, we'll go to a Chinese restaurant - one that has forks for Spencer, of course.
In all of our hands, we each have a gift for Spencer, and in the middle of his desk sits a pie I made for him which I am praying he will like. It's a chocolate chess pie which I thought was very fitting since Spencer likes chess and chocolate. I also know on your birthday you're supposed to have cake and ice cream, but maybe after 27 years, he'll want something else...?
"Do you think he'll like the pie instead of a regular Birthday cake?" I ask JJ, slightly unsure.
"Oh, he'll love it, (Y/n)," She assures me with one of her perfect smiles.
"Pretty boy loves anything you do," Morgan adds with a smirk. "Trust me."
I lightly laugh at his remark before sarcastically saying a small "Sure."
"No, no," Penelope cuts me off, waving her hands frantically with a huge smile. "You could walk a straight line and Spencer could give an hour-long seminar on how perfect your movements were," Immediately, my cheeks begin to blush while the rest of the team laughs at her comment. "Just sayin'," She finishes, holding her hands out in a shrug motion.
Just as she finishes speaking, my eyes move to the main entrance hall where my handsome brunet boyfriend is currently walking through the doors. Without noticing us at first, he mindlessly heads over to the area while straightening out his brown and green harlequin-pattern sweater vest. He doesn't even realize the spot he just fixed is going to be messed up again by the inevitable Birthday pin that Penelope plans to bestow upon him.
I watch as Spencer turns the corner, his pace slowing down before coming to a stop as sees us all waiting at his desk. It only takes a short second before he realizes what's going on, causing him to break into an award-winning grin and quicken his speed over to us. "Happy Birthday!" We all yell at the same time, making his eyes light up like fireworks.
"What's this?" He asks as he stops beside me, one of his hands instantly coming up to rest against my back.
"A birthday surprise, my love," I answer him, leaning in to kiss his cheek. Pushing my gift into his hands, I smile at him as he gazes at me with what hope is a mix of love and happiness. "Happy twenty-seventh birthday, Spencer."
After opening all of our gifts, Spencer sits down in his chair while I sit on the edge of his desk and cut a slice of pie for him. "What kind is it?" He asks, his eyes matching the sweet treat in front of him. Smiling, I push the slice of pie onto a paper plate before handing it to him.
"Chocolate chess," I tell him with a nod, watching as he chuckles; I'm glad he got the joke.
"I already like it," he tells me, referring to the name. Looking over at Morgan, I see both he and Penelope mouth "Told you so."
Handing Spence a fork, I watch as he takes the first bite of the pie, a half-surprised, half-happy emotion filling his face as he begins chewing the morsel of food. "Oh my God," he says, food still in his mouth. A moment of panic fills me as I begin to think he doesn't like it. "This tastes amazing," Those three words instantly take all the fear and worry away, causing me to grin and let out a sigh of relief.
Soon enough, everyone else has a slice of pie, each having reactions like Spencer. "This is really, really good, (Y/n)," Prentiss approves.
"Yes, it is!" Penelope agrees, taking another bite of her slice.
"Mama, I am coming to your place for Thanksgiving," Derek announces, causing me to hide my grin. Even Rossi and Hotch had something good to say about the pie I made, all of the comments making me feel like I've done a good job.
Once Spencer is done with his slice, he places the empty plate on his desk before wrapping his arms around my waist to pull me from the edge and onto his lap. Meanwhile, the rest of the team heads back to their desks, all of them having so much work to do all of a sudden.
Smiling at Spencer's antics, I lean my head back against his shoulder and look up at him, his chocolate eyes meeting my own (e/c) eyes. We both know we can't do this for long as neither of us want to be written up, but we can risk it for today.
"Did you like your birthday surprise?" I ask him, watching as he nods.
"Of course I did," he assures me, reaching a hand up to cup my cheek. Leaning my head down toward his, Spencer attaches his lips to mine for a second before pulling away, trying to keep it at least a little professional at work. "You should know that I enjoy anything you do."
"Oh yeah?" I can't help but ask, leaning my head a bit further into his shoulder. Still smiling, he looks away from my eyes as a red tint spreads across his cheeks. I almost laugh at the sight, finding the irony in the situation that he's already blushing despite me not saying my next comment yet.
"Well then, I know you'll enjoy tonight," I tell him, dressing another kiss to his cheek as his eyes growing wide at the many implications behind my words. I can only giggle at his reaction, reveling in the knowledge that that's the best part - he truly has no idea what's in store for him tonight. He doesn't know about our plans to go to the Chinese restaurant and eat with the rest of the team later, nor does he know about my plans to surprise him with a new set of lingerie in his favorite color tonight. However, I think he might have some growing suspicions going by the smirk that slowly worms its way across his face.
"I can't wait," He finally murmurs to me, giving my hip a tight, yet discreet squeeze. With that, I know he definitely has an idea of what's in store for him and I can't wait either.
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eddiernunson · 5 months
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Really Drives Me Mad | Older!Eddie x Fem!Reader | 18+
| Master List | Prev Part | Next Part
Word Count: 16.9k
Chapter contains: Wedding shenanigans, smut, meeting Hawkins characters, smut, regular kinks, public sex, and lazy writing where i didn't even look up countries to travel to for honeymoons. Also...a haircut... (don't hate me)
I barely got this done in time, and it's also unedited. My editor says she can do it and we'll replace the rough copy lol.
Still thank you to @forget-you-morelike-fuck-you and @bebe07011 for always telling what they think and reading for it me first.
I just wanted to share some personal news. I'm 18 weeks pregnant, and I am always so fucking tired, so I apologize for posting a million things one week and nothing for months. The inspiration really comes and goes.
Anyways Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays!
“I gotta admit, I didn’t expect your wedding to be so soon,” Skyler admits, in the middle of chewing on a salt and vinegar chip, some in her hand in queue to be chomped on next.
You keep your eyes on the movie playing snacking on a peanut M&M, watching Amanda Bynes’ truly unmatched comedic timing. “I am not spending a whole year of wedding planning,” you protest, throwing another chocolate into your mouth, “my mom is far too opinionated for me to be able to handle all of that fuss.”
“Well, you still need to find a dress…” Bethany points out, taking a hit off her vape pen. “And a caterer, someone to marry you, and a wedding photographer, decorate the venue—”
“We have invited close family and friends only.” You remind her, rolling her eyes. “If anything, the reception will turn into one big dance party. Hell, we’re ordering pizza. I don’t need a fairytale wedding. Having him has made my life a fairytale already.”
“Gross.” Skyler comments, sticking her tongue out at you playfully.
“I think it’s cute.” Bethany offers, grinning.
“Also, I might have already decided on a dress.” You hesitantly say, turning your head around and up at them to see their reactions. They collectively stop what they’re doing to scream at you for it. The gist of their uproar was mostly how they weren’t invited to the time you spent looking, but this dress was a happy accident by every definition.
“You found a dress?”
You shrug, pausing the movie so it’s not such a distraction for the conversation. “Yeah…”
The first time Eddie gave you his card and sent you to the mall for him, you were anxious about holding his money and only spent it on things he explicitly said he had wanted.  The entire trip took about an hour, getting home and holding a few bags as you entered the front door. Eddie leapt from the couch, grinning wickedly as he met you in the kitchen. He held your hands as he smirked at you. “How was the shopping trip?”
“Good.” You answered, moving to your purse on the counter to hand him his card.
He put it in his wallet hurriedly, wanting to get back to you. “What’d you get?” He asks, starting to look through the bags.
“I found everything you asked for except for the socks, apparently they’re discontinued.” You answered, leaning onto the island counter.
Eddie’s face falters only the littlest bit, shrugging. “Damn, gonna have to find a new favourite pair then.” He looked through every bag one by one, seemingly looking for something he couldn’t find. “What’d you get?”
Your brows furrowed in confusion, not understanding what he meant. “Um, everything but the socks?”
Eddie’s face broke into laughter, hands snaking themselves around your waist. “Yes, baby, but what did you get for yourself?” His voice was so gentle, smiling at you fondly with a gorgeous lobsided smile on his face.
“Oh, um, nothing…” you answered, eyes flickering to the ground. “It’s your money.”
A hand made its way onto your cheek, intertwining his fingers in your hair. His lips landed on yours, taking your breath away with how dreamy and dizzy it made you feel. As he pulled apart, your knees were weak, mouth half open as you stared up at him in pure bewilderment. After you were able to catch your breath, you finally asked, “What was that about?”
He smiled at you tenderly, tucking your hair behind your ear. “You’re just so sweet, my love,” he muses, beautiful brown eyes roaming all over your face. “Sweetheart, you have a ring on your finger. If we’re about to get married, then my money is your money.”
A frown sat on your face, thinking over what he just told you, eyes fleeting all over his hardwood floor. “But…I don’t, I don’t want, I don’t want—”
He hooked a finger under your chin, lifting your chin to look up at him. “I know you don’t want it.” His other hooked around your back, pulling your body against his. “However, I do want to share it with you, just like I want to share everything else.”
You smiled at him, sighing as his hand caressed the swell of your cheek, leaning into it. “I just don’t want you to think I’m with you for any other reason than how much I love you.”
“And how hot you find me, hmm?” He teased, eyes half lidded.
You rolled your eyes playfully, hands petting the nape of his neck. “Of course.” Eddie gave you a big kiss, lips wrapping yours, making you feel only bliss. “So, if I take your card to Sephora and buy a palette I’d had my eye on, you wouldn’t protest?”
Eddie sighed, sticking his tongue out in his true fashion. “You could buy the whole damn store as long as you’re happy.”
You squinted at him, lips pursed as you assessed his gorgeous face. “…How much do you have in savings?”
He smiled, tilting his head playfully. “Enough.” He said, tilting his head and twisting his face comically. “Maybe not enough to buy the whole store, but enough to shop comfortably.”
With his blessing, you started to feel something like trophy wife on the occasional mall trip. Holding his black card as you swipe it unflinchingly at a large bill is so satisfactory as you see the glint of jealousy of the cashier’s eyes.
On your most recent outing, grabbing groceries and making stops at your favourite stores as you browsed, a little boutique in the corner of the mall caught your eye. You’ve never seen it before, a deserted area of the mall that has incredibly niche stores that mostly look like a storefront for a ring of some type. In the very corner is a sweet little boutique with hand made clothes, the kind of clothing one doesn’t come across very often anymore, all made with care with high quality fabric…but not at a designer price.
A dress with embroidered flowers around the skirt caught your eye in the window, and there were only cuter clothes. With several hangers of clothing on your hand, the corner the store comes into view, and the prettiest white dress you’ve ever seen came into view.
As soon as your size was in your grasp, you giddily ran off to the change room. As soon as the zipper is up, your eyes welled up in bridal glory.
All for 85 dollars. (Well, that’s not the whole bill, just the dress.)
Your eyes flicker back to your friends, shrugging. “It just happened.”
“How far is Hawkins, exactly?” Bethany asks, leaning on her elbow on her legs crossed.
“A few states away.” You answer, pressing play on the movie again.
“You’re only inviting close family, right?” Skyler asks.
“Yeah, and you guys and Steve’s family.”
Bethany tilts upside down on the couch, feet resting on the pillows as she watches the movie upside down. “I’m sorry, who’s Steve again?”
You roll your eyes. “Do you guys ever listen to what I say?” They shrug, looking at you expectantly. “He’s Eddie’s best friend.” Still, their looks are completely blank. “You remember the photo I showed you of Eddie? He was the one on the left.”
Their eyes both noticeably bug out of their sockets. “Oh, you lucky bitch.” Skyler chuckles, definitely remembering the one of the left.
You roll your eyes, again. “He’s happily married, you dicks.”
“You can’t tell me you haven’t thought about it” Bethany accuses, knowing you too well, if you had anything to say about it.
The hesitation says everything. “Okay, maybe once or twice.” You admit, avoiding their eyes. “But again, he is happily married, and frankly unrealistic. Plus, he might be my sister’s father-in-law,” you joke, mostly hoping there’s no truth behind it.
 “Okay, this I gotta hear.” Bethany giggles, leaning in with much intrigue.
-
Hours later into the evening, your friends are taken off to their prospective life commitments. The living room is tidied up and the tv turned on to some background noise as you doom-scroll on your phone. Right on time, the front door to the house slams shut.
His hot breath and sweet kisses on your neck feels like home, titling your neck and humming happily as his arms wrap around your torso from behind the couch. “Hi, baby.”
“Hello, my love.” He greets. Your hand lands on his hair, petting his curls. “I gotta take a shower, then I’ll be right back.”
He bends your head on the back, giving you a deliciously upside down kiss. “Hurry fast.”
A usual shower for him doesn’t take too long, usually sporting sweats and a band tee as he comes back down the stairs twenty minutes later.
It’s only thirty minutes when your patience completely runs out, hopping up the stairs wondering if he fell asleep. He’s not in the room, or the bathroom, so you finally find him in the closet, squatting while he grabs something from one of the low storage shelves.
“Hey, Eddie—”
You forget the English language. Every word you’ve ever known is gone from your brain, nowhere to be seen. He uses his elbows to lean on his thighs, perched on his toes and smiles at your speechlessness.
“Surprised?” He asks, standing up and wrapping his arms around your waist.
You stare up at it, hand petting his scalp. “What did you do?”
He shrugs, spinning his hands in circles in his hair. “Needed a change.”
“That…that’s a big change.” You comment, noting the way his face looks without his hair framing it.
He grins, hand caressing your face sweetly. “What do you think?”
You wonder how you missed the razor with a hair clip on the counter. “I think we might have a problem…”
The panic in his eyes is subtle, but there. Clearly, he’s never had someone who loved him for him, and you’re excited to see his reaction. “Oh?” Eddie asks, doing his best to appear casual.
You smile, admiring the way his hair curls at the nape of his neck, even buzzed all the way to his scalp. “What the hell am I going to hold onto while you go down on me?” You ask, playfully scolding him.
He laughs, his face crumbling in relief. “We’ll figure it out, sweets.” He tugs you into his arms, arms gorgeously tough as he hugs you intensely. “Not the first time I’ve cut my hair, you know.” Eddie tells you, squatting back down to grab what he needed.
You’re honestly unsure if you’ve ever seen a picture of him with short hair, but then again, his social media doesn’t have many pictures of him. “Oh?”
Eddie grabs what he needed successfully, taking off into your shared bathroom. “Yeah, last time was when Dyl was like eight, or something.” Eddie answers, cleaning up the last strands of hair from the counter. How did you miss those?
“Needed a change, then, too?” You ask, now seeing where he placed his shed locks, the damn garbage.
Eddie tucks his lips in, tongue poking out between his lips. “Uh, not exactly.” He starts, hesitating. “Brooke sort of…demanded? I guess? That I cut my hair when long hair was apparently not really cool anymore.” He laughs, putting the razor away. “She wouldn’t let it go.”
Anger is useless, at this point, knowing that dumb bitch was just plain horrible to him. It still stings to know he had to deal with her, regardless. “She seems so lovely.”
Eddie laughs, taking your hand in his as he led you back out the bedroom and back down the stairs. “This time, at least I did it for myself.”
“I can’t lie,” you start, sitting nearly on his lap on the couch. “I will miss it, and our kids will be shocked when they see their dad had short hair in our wedding photos…but it’s hair. It grows back. I will always accept you for who you are, baby.”
Eddie doesn’t know which part to focus on more. He hopes you never fail to make him feel so loved, and honestly, he doubts you ever possibly could. But for the moment he focuses on the first part. “Our kids huh?” He asks as you lean back comfortably against his chest.
“Oh, hush, you know what I want from you.” You rebuke, smiling satisfied as you watch whatever is on TV.
His arm wrapped around you pulls you impossibly closer to him, still expecting the itch of his hair on your neck. “I know, my love. I want the same thing.”
“You get any calls for RSVPs, yet baby?” You ask, sighing happily.
“Steve called, everyone’ll be there, of course.” Eddie answers, grabbing the remote to switch channels.
“Oh, cool, I can’t wait to meet Jocelyn.” You say, still not having met his wife.
“I thought you’d be more excited to meet Eliza.”
“Oh, her, too.” You laugh, nodding. “She will be the cutest flower girl ever.”
Eddie kisses the top of your head, sighing happily as his cheek rests on it. “That, she will be.”
-
Eddie’s hands are intertwined with yours as he flies down the major highway, music blasting through his speakers as the wind sends your hair flying from the open windows. The prospect of flying versus driving to Hawkins was debated for a hot minute, but a long road trip with him was just too good to pass up. Several bags are in the back seat, packed for both the four days you’re spending in Hawkins, and the three weeks for the honeymoon.
He surprised you with a His and Hers matching set of bags, mouth quirked in a smile as he saw the embarrassment take over your face. He knew how excited you were to go take a trip to Cancun with him as newlyweds, and he did his best to make it clear the feeling is mutual.
But before you can take off on a flight with him, comes getting married.
Both your dress and his suit are in garment bags, something you’re all too thrilled for him to see, the prospect of him on the other side of the aisle filling you with a level anticipation you didn’t know was possible.
The trip is long, and you wonder how Steve was able to make it to your parents’ in such short notice, noting you’ll need to extend more gratitude to him. You had offered to drive, but Eddie had repeatedly denied you, insisting you’re his queen, and he planned on treating you like one.
What was that you had said earlier about living a fairy tale?
As you pulled into the small town, Eddie texts a few of his friends to let him know you had arrived safely. He pulls up to the one gas station in town, stretching his back out, walking into the convenient store to pay and take a leak.
When he comes back out of the station there’s an aura of amusement on his face, shaking his head. You meet him at the pump, eyebrow quirked to ask him what he was so smug about.
“He’s still alive.” Eddie chuckles as he puts the pump to start filling it up. He laughs again when your face twists into even more confusion. “Gus, the owner from when I was in high school, he’s still kickin’, and he’s still running the joint.” He pauses, scratching at the nape of his neck. “Probably out of pure spite, if anything.”
You kiss his cheek, petting at the curls now swirling in his hair. You still missed the length, but he looked good with short curls. “Wonder who else has surpassed those expectations.”
His eyes widen at the idea. “If Higgins is still principal…”
You smirk, having several stories about Higgins undeserved vendetta he held against Eddie, having once blackmailed him into dripping out. “God help the youth of Hawkins, Indiana.”
“I don’t blame Arlo for any of his sass in that case.”
Your phone buzzes in your pocket, a text from your mother that she, Viti, your dad, and her had successfully landed in Indianapolis and are currently grabbing their rental. Thank god your mom is acting like a mother again after her brief mental psychosis. 
For the first day in town, Eddie has a whole plan for you, refusing to tell you what he had planned. First, was the singular old folks’ home Hawkins hosted. The receptionist immediately recognizes Eddie, flickering to you with a twinkle in her eye. “Is this?” She asks, pointing to you covertly.
“Sure is.” He answers. “How is he?”
“Very excited.” She answers, placing a pen and paper on the counter in front of you. Eddie signs his name, and hands the pen for you to do the same. “Same room as always.”
Confused, you follow his lead down the hall the opposite way from the rec room where a group of elderly individuals were playing bingo. He’s petting your thumb with his, his eyes flickering between your eyes and the ground.
Is he nervous?
He finally stops at the door second to last on the left, labelled with the number 18. Three knocks on the door and there’s a gruff voice on the other side telling you to come on in. Eddie takes a deep breath and opens it, slowly walking into the room.
The door opens to an older, much older, man with a very thin patch of hair on his head facing the other direction, hands shuffling over a faded deck of cards, slowly categorizing them, supposedly a game of solitaire. Eddie lets go of your hand to approach him from behind, playfully humming, moving one of the cards over the old man’s shoulder. “There ya go.” Eddie says, gentle and smug.
“Christ, you always knew how to beat me.” He mutters, shaking his head. He lifts it to face Eddie, smiling ear to ear as he stands up slowly, relying on the table in front of him for stability. “Bout time you came back to town,” he jokes, tugging Eddie in for a hug.
You can see Eddie’s smile over his shoulder, observing the way Eddie relaxes in his hold. Eddie’s hands on his back are firm, gripping onto him for dear life. You’ve heard stories, only had an idea of how much his guardian meant to him, but from just the looks of this hug, it’s the kind of affection you suppose could only a parent could provide him.
Times like these you wished you knew him when he was younger, just to see more of these vulnerable moments.
Not that you want to cut their reunion short, but you need to get this introduction out of the way because it was the one you’re most nervous about. You clear your throat subtly, only to get their attention. Eddie’s eye’s abruptly open, meeting yours apologetically. “Sorry, sweets.” He says, pulling away from the hug. “Uh, Wayne this is—”
Wayne, the man who has picked up the slack from his deadbeat brother and runaway sister-in-law, turns to face you, smile on his face as he abruptly wraps you in his arms for a hug. “I don’t need an introduction to the woman who brought my son back to life.” He insists, squeezing you tight. You want to feel cocky about this statement, but all you can do is smile into his shoulder. It’s impossible that the affect you have on one another is the same, a lust for life you’ve never have before now ever present, looking forward to the future knowing that you’ll have him for as long as humanly possible.
It's just nice to hear from those who have known him his whole life.
Wayne finally lets you go, the smile lines ever present as he grins at you. “Well, I suppose you two still have a lot of work to do before Saturday, huh?”
You look at Eddie, shrugging in sync. The only thing there really is to do is set a few tables up for the reception and pick up some flowers from the local florist. A small wedding means little to do, especially with good friends in town insisting on helping tie the final pieces together.
“This one isn’t a bridezilla, is she?” Wayne jokes, winking at Eddie’s exasperated eyeroll.
“She could stand to be a bit more decisive, to be honest.” Eddie laughs, a lobsided smile.
To be fair, you just wanted to marry him, it really didn’t matter how the tables are laid out at the reception, or where you take the photos. He could’ve taken you to a courthouse and you would’ve been satisfied, but there is something so enticing about announcing to your close friends and family how much you love and plan to spend all your days with him.
Wayne and Eddie talk, Wayne telling the embarrassing stories you’ve been begging Steve to tell you, yet with no success. The pink blush on Eddie’s face is adorable, watching as he hopelessly protests the stories, but Wayne seems to be the only person out there who doesn’t get intimidated by Eddie’s stern voice. You wonder if the temptation to give the same energy next time you’re being berated by him will be too much to ignore.
Your favourite story that Wayne told you was the one where he was ten years old and attempted to mix his love of hard Metal and Dungeons and Dragons and turned on the song only to forget he had it turned all the way up the day before.
It resulted in snacks everywhere and one of his favourite figurines crashed as he stumbled across the room to try to turn his stereo down. Wayne even had some photos he keeps in a box on his dresser, handing one by one. The best set of photos were Eddie growing his hair, going from a kid with a buzz cut in the halls of a school displaying a rock signal to the camera to a jaded teenager refusing to smile for it.
Yeah, if you knew Eddie in high school you would’ve been down bad.
Eventually, Eddie stops protesting at the stories and just ends up defending the actions of a hormone-driven seventeen-year-old.
“You’re not expecting me to wear a suit, are you?” Wayne squints, leaning back onto the desk.
“Just wear something nice, will ya?” Eddie asks, an aura of affection for his lifelong guardian.
“Yeah, yeah.” Wayne dismisses him.
The nurse is sweet as you and Eddie sign out, Eddie requesting that they get him out of his room to socialize for once. She laughs, insisting that they do his best to get him out, but he is stubborn as he is old. Judging from his silver hair and the vibrant blue veins showing from his paper-thin skin, you can see where Eddie gets a lot of his personality from.
Eddie’s a silent sort of content as he drives down the main street, thumb caressing your hand with purpose and ease. He makes a turn, slowing at the end of the street at a sweet little yellow house. “Where you bringing us this time?”
“Still not telling.”
The front door opens to a woman with short curly hair, crossing her arms as soon as she sees who is on her front step. “Was wondering when you’d stop by.” She says, waving her hands to invite you in. “Come on in, Robin is over for the afternoon.”
“Hi, Wheeler.” Eddie greets her, tugging you in with him.
Oh, Nancy. You’ve heard little about her, only that her determination is scary.
“Yeah, come on in, you groomer.” Comes another voice, a little rough on the edges but said with love.
“Groomer?” Eddie asks, eyebrow tilting.
“You’re lucky that’s all I’m calling you.” Robin, sitting at a table with a cup of tea, playfully shoots back. “Marrying a girl half your age.”
“And like I’ve said on the phone, she’s been making as many of the decisions I have.” Eddie says, sounding tired. “Anyway, this is Robin, that’s Nancy.”
They toast their cups to you, observing how you and Eddie are with each other, his hand around your shoulders and your hand easily intertwined with his.
“They’re uh, they keep me in check.” Eddie laughs, gesturing to them.
“You cut your hair.” Nancy states, a smirk on her face. “Haven’t seen that in a few years.”
“Whatever, do you want to tell her or not?”
Turns out, Nancy and Robin been communicating and texting Bethany and Skyler for ideas on a bachelorette party for you. Your eyes are full of fear as you glance to them full of fear, scared of what they had planned.
Those eyes were a little too smug for comfort. “You haven’t told her anything about the uh… U.D, have you?” Robin asks softly as Nancy shows you a photo album as the friend group from years back. What a friend group to be in back in their heyday.
“Not quite yet.” Eddie shrugs, wondering how is it those faded memories can come back so quickly just because he’s in town.
“You ever plan to?”
“Probably. Won’t wait too long so she doesn’t think I’m senile.” Eddie jokes, but it falls flat.
“I think she can handle it.” Robin admits, now having spent a few hours with you. “Maybe skip the part where your heart stopped.”
Eddie rolls his eyes. “Probably.”
-
Eddie has made several more stops throughout the day, introducing the many colourful characters that flooded his hometown. Felt like right out of a storybook.
The one you most got along with turned out to be Dustin Henderson, the very same one who Steve’s third son is named after. Just from your first conversation surrounded by their goofiness, do you truly understand how dorky, how dramatic he really is. Dustin does have stories to tell you, less embarrassing, more dripped in his dramatic flair for life.
Dustin checks on the habits he still carries, does he still fidget with his fingers, does he tuck in his lips, has his patience gotten better.
Correction, Dustin is one other person you suppose Eddie can’t intimidate. You’ve seen many attempts only met with laughter. “Steve has a bachelor party planned for you, you know.”
You shoot Dustin a glare, charging on him. “There won’t be any strippers, right?”
Eddie’s laughter abruptly stops when you shoot a glare at him, giving you a meek smile. You fucking thought so.
“Don’t worry, Harrington has a death wish, but not that badly. It’s a meticulously planned out campaign.” Dustin chuckles elbowing you. “A few drinking games involved, but no models in bikinis.”
Suddenly Eddie’s in your ear, breath sending shivers down your body. “If you were to show up in a bikini, I wouldn’t protest.” Eddie whispers, planting a kiss on your cheek.
“Tempting, but I think I’ll wait until Cancun.” You answer, grinning cheekily at his widened eyes.
Eddie gets a text that night when you’re in the hotel room with him where the reception was to take place. Most of the wedding was completely figured out, the two of you are ready for a night in before the rush sets in for tomorrow, cuddled up under the blanket as he reluctantly watches one of your favourite romcoms.
His hand pets on your bare thigh, slowly making its way up, smirking at the way you tense under his touch, whimpering as you impatiently wait for him to finally touch you. His fingers finally, finally brushing under your panties and just seeing how wet you are when Eddie’s phone vibrates on the bed. “Don’t you dare.” You protest, clutching in his shirt.
“You’re not in any position to be making demands.” He chuckles, sliding to answer his phone.
You huff, head banging against the head rest.
“Make it fast, Harrington.” Eddie answers. You start to pay more attentive attention to the movie when his hand slips back under your panties. His finger moves easily along your folds, slowly working you. Eddie mutes his phone, “Be fucking quiet, got it?” You nod, forcefully taking a pillow and biting down on it. “Sorry, bud, what was that?”
Eddie listens, face crumbling in annoyance. “And we don’t get any say in this?” He asks, inserting his finger bast the barrier of your entrance. “Yeah, we’ll be an hour.”
Eddie hooks his finger, eyes raking down your body as your back arches in attempt to keep quiet.
“Because you caught us in the middle of something, Stevie.” He laughs starting to speed up. Something Steve says tugs a beautiful sound of laughter from his lips, hanging up and tossing the phone. “Take your panties off, we have an hour.”
You throw the pillow across the room, grinning as you take your panties and the shirt you’re wearing off.
When he slides into you, perfect and relentless, the words he whispers in your ear are how he can’t wait to marry you, how much he wants to see his girl in a pretty white dress just for him, and what a pretty girl he has.
The only words that leave your throat are about how much you love him, on repeat. I love you, I love you, I love you, Iloveyou.
Stubbornly, Steve demanded two of you made your way over as soon as possible. Eddie agrees, but really wishes he could stay with you when he sees the blissed-out expression you wear in the afterglow. Damn him.
You reluctantly go with him, half asleep as your head rests his shoulders when Steve finally opens the door. “Finally, you sluts!” Steve laughs, hand in his front pocket as he opens the door with the gusto only Steve Harrington really can. “Jesus Christ, warn a guy next time you get a haircut.”
You glare at him, rolling your eyes. “If we came all this way just for this, then I will see you tomorrow, Steve.”
“She has a point.” Eddie agrees, also ready to go back to the room and forget you were asked.
“Chill out you two.” Steve insists, “c’mon.”
Well, Steve is one hell of a schemer, because as soon as you reach the living room everyone (and then some) jumps out from their hiding places, a big ass surprise party.
Like the two of you weren’t already having a big party in two days, but this is a large reminder of how loved you are.
This thankfully gave you a chance to mingle with the rest of the Harringtons, Eliza regretfully already asleep upstairs. Immediately, you see the connection between Nicky and Dylan and how much they get along far more than Dylan ever did with Arlo.
Arlo and Viti are mingling a little too close for comfort, her back leaning against the counter as his hand is placed right next to her, nodding as what ever she says is apparently agreeable. Whatever Arlo is planning, he’d better stop that shit.
Jocelyn Harrington is the perfect ying to Steve’s yang, perfectly balancing out his chaotic personality and keeping him in check only the way she can. You ask her to keep an eye out for Arlo, something she promises that she’s tried to do many times in the past, in fact, this his him tamed.
You finally learn who you’ve hired to take the wedding photos, a boy you’ve only spoken to over the phone from Steve’s recommendation. He’s…Nancy’s, ex’s, son, Jeremy Byers, who has apparently picked up his dad’s hobby in photography and, like his father, turned it into something that can pay the bills. His dad is freakishly just like him, sweet and unassuming. What is it with genes in this town? Everyone just copies and pastes.
Somehow, Steve managed to get your parents to show up, somehow finally warming up to Eddie. Still, she’s on thin ice for ever having insulted him to begin with. Apparently, Nancy does remember your mom, having been on the newspaper with her.
Your mom was on the newspaper?
The night is spent laughing in Steve’s massive living room, the air filled with anticipation and pure excitement, actually glad you were forced out of bed. The doorbell rings, opening to face your two best friends as they squeal and wrap you in a hug and everything is right in the world.
Maybe your mom could stop flirting with Steve, though.
-
Finally, you stumbled into the Hotel room at 3am, giggling together as he falls on the bed on top of you. His hand snakes his way under your skirt, tugging them down fast, the sound of him undoing his belt driving you crazy as you giddily and hurriedly help him with his shirt. He’s been teasing you all night, his lush lips wrapping yours and wandering hands making you want to pull him into one of the bathrooms.
The pure want in you right now when you know you’re about to make Eddie your husband is coursing through your body is excessive. There’s a looming question, will you be able to hold back during your wedding? Answer is a definite no, but you’re trying to trick yourself into believing that you will.
His bare skin against yours as he ruts against you is everything, yet even after every orgasm you want more, crave more of him more than you ever thought was possible. You’re extra greedy that night, holding him closer, begging him for more, more, more. His words are a sweet mixture of worship, praise, and just a little bit of degradation. My girl, my sweet love, taking me so well, your sweet cunt, greedy little slut.
You fall asleep with your legs wrapped around his waist, sleepily exchanging sweet nothings in one another’s ear, the rest of the world dissolved completely.
The vibrations of your phone don’t wake you up, but it certainly alerts you to the following vibrations of Eddie’s. The phones didn’t even make it to your chargers, sitting in the mess of clothing on the carpeted hotel floor. Eddie’s body is partially on yours, wrapped in his musk as you stretch, taking in the reflection of the sun on the roof. “Eddie.” You moan, stretching your limbs as you attempt to reach off the king-sized bed. “Phone.”
Another phone is buzzing, somebody clearly relentless in their effort to get a hold of you. Eddie hums, head twisting only the littlest bit in your neck. “Too…too bad.” You slowly crawl out of his hold, rolling towards the scattered pile of clothing. Just when you think you’re successful, Eddie’s strong bicep effortlessly pulls you back, tightening his grip on you. “Stay.”
The sound erupts again. “You don’t think that could be important?” You ask, finger gently trailing along the skin of his back.
His shoulders shrug, lips starting to trail kisses along your neck. “Don’t care.” He mumbles, hands moving across your skin. You can feel his enthusiasm against your leg, tugging him down against you. “Waking up to your beautiful face, gorgeous fucking body, you think I care about anything else?”
When he puts it like that, you suppose you really can’t say no to him, especially when his voice is luring you in like so. You hum, starting to see his point as the buzzing fades into the background. “Then get to it, will ya?” You ask him, hands intertwined in his short curls. As he pushes himself up on his hands, his eyes meet yours, grinning cheekily.
“Get to it, you say?” He asks, hands tugging on your hips your body meets his perfectly. “Somehow last night still left me unsatisfied.” He pushes into you slowly, not giving you any warning or bothering to prep you. As assumed, the slick from last night remains ever present along your folds, allowing Eddie to push in effortlessly. Your mouth opens wordlessly, meeting his eyes and drinking in the pure lust in them. “This pussy baby, you’re telling me I get this for the rest of my life? Am I that lucky?”
As always, he’s crazy to believe he’s the lucky one. “Whenever you want, Ed,” you tell him, fingers clawing up his back and mewling. “Faster, please, please, baby.”
“Pretty voice beggin for me.” Eddie mutters, still granting the wish. “Think your pussy can take more of daddy’s cum?” He asks, hands intertwined in your hair and thrusting harshly. “Thought I already filled it a bit last night.”
“Never enough, Ed.” You gasp, pulling his lips on yours. They’re lush and sweet, but the kiss turns dirty as his hands press harshly and fiercely. “Can never…never get enough.”
Eddie chuckles, curling himself into your neck. “You keep saying shit like this to me and I will never let you leave this room.” His hands slide themselves down to your wrists, sitting up as he pulls your arms down your torso. This position hits a new angle, the pleasure hitting a deeper spot than you knew possible.
“Who said I want to leave?” You laugh, his grip on your wrists tight enough to bruise.
Your legs wrangle themselves against his chest, feet flexing next to Eddie’s face, watching his half open mouth and gorgeous face. “Just what I wanted to hear, sweets.”
His hips are beautifully relentless, eventually turning you around in his grasp, your face hitting the pillow as his hips start impossibly faster. His hand grips itself in your hair, pulling your back against his chest, snaking from your hair back around your neck. “Listen to those sounds you make, love, so desperate for me.”
“What a pretty girl, taking my cock so fucking well.” His other hand clings itself onto your clit, circling it as his hot breaths gasp against your neck. “Feel that sweet pussy dripping all over me, you close, babygirl?”
“So close, Daddy.” You whine, neck stretching impossibly high as the pull in your stomach is strong and intense. His fingers move faster, driving you towards that high more and more. “Oh, my god, Ed.”
Your pussy flutters around him, eyes twitching shut and whining in his hold as his hips never let up. As you just start to come down from it, there’s a loud knock on the door. You fall forward, whining as Eddie doesn’t let up. The knock comes again, faster and louder this time. Eddie doesn’t seem to mind them, and frankly, neither do you, listening to him as his groans grow deeper and longer, reaching backward frantically for his hands. “Gonna fill you up, love.”
The knocks are now rapid, never ending and stubborn.
“One fucking minute!” Eddie yells, voice harsh and aggravated.
Now the voice that’s been shouting is clear who it is, Steve apparently having no patience as he shouts in anger.
You feel him rut a final time, bending over you as he gasps desperately into your ear. “Jesus fucking Christ.”
“Hurry up, I’ve been calling you guys for an hour!” He yells, you can practically hear his hands placed on his hips.
“You want me to open the door naked?” Eddie asks, grabbing the pair of pants he tossed onto the ground last night.
“Is that a threat, or a promise?” Steve asks, a hint amusement in his voice.
Eddie opens the door, rolling his eyes as he leads him in. You lie under the covers, not caring about the lack of clothing you wear. “What?”
“Oh lord.” Steve grunts once he sees your relaxed posture on the bed, scrolling through your phone.
“I’m sorry, did you not know what you were walking in on? Your ears have mysteriously vanished from your head?” You ask, a half smirk placed on your face at his hand exaggeratedly hiding you with his hand.
“I at least figured you’d have clothes on,” Steve grumbles back, crossing his arms. “I’ve been calling you two for the last hour, we have shit to do before the parties tonight.”
“Parties?” Eddie asks, slipping his shirt on.
“Yes, parties. Hurry, you two.” Steve demands, clapping his hands repeatedly. You stare up at him blankly, still half paying attention to the videos on your phone. “Well?”
You blink at him, stunned. Wasn’t this wedding supposed to be easy? “Get out!” Point angrily to the door of the room.
“I want you two in the lobby in five minutes. We got shit to do.” Steve demands, letting the hotel door slam behind him.
You glance to your fiancé, leaning on your elbow cheekily. “Wanna fuck me again?”
To be honest, Eddie’s jeans were back around his ankles before you even finished the sentence.
-
The feeling of shamelessness as the elevator opens to the lobby fifteen minutes later is refreshing, sporting kiss bruised lips and tussled hair as you cheekily greet him.
Steve looks tired, sitting in a chair in the lobby scrolling through his phone leaning on one elbow. “I should’ve known way better.”
Admittedly, Steve was right. Despite the size of your wedding there was still a stupid amount to do before the Wedding takes place the next day. If it weren’t for him, you’d probably would’ve stayed in bed all day until the realization kicks in. Maybe being as much in love with Eddie as you are is both your saving grace and your downfall.
Steve acts like a wedding planner. You thought your mom is bad, turns out she’s got nothing on Steve Harrington with a goal and a vision.
Flowers picked up, hair stylist and makeup artist booked, the church confirmed, all the t’s crossed and the I’s dotted.
When you’re sitting with Eddie and Steve on the living room couch at the early evening, Jocelyn opens the door, walking in with her daughter running in like a little tornado, her little curls bouncing with every step. Her voice is to the brim with giggles, running up to Steve with glee.
“Daddy!” She yells, hopping into his arms as he catches her effortlessly. Eliza is somehow even cuter in person than she is in any photo you’ve ever seen of her.
Steve hugs her tightly, petting her back like the gentle parent he is. “You see who’s here, yet, Liz?” He asks, nodding towards Eddie and you.
Eliza abruptly leaves his hold, switching her bright green eyes to Eddie. “Uncle Eddie?” She jumps straight for him, forcing the one arm behind you to wrap around her.
“Hello, sweetheart.” He greets, your eyes meeting his over her shoulder. Seeing him talk about her animatedly is one thing, but watching him melt as soon as she’s in his grasp sets your ovaries on fire. “Are you excited to be a flower girl for us?”
Her eyes flicker to yours, shyly smiling, as if remembering there was someone for her uncle Eddie to get married to. “That’s the lady?”
He laughs, hearts in his eyes never leaving as he glances over. “Yep.”
Eliza looks back to him ‘whispering’ in his ear, “She’s pretty.”
Eddie chuckles and places his hand by her ear, pretending to whisper back, “I know, it’s why I’m marrying her.”
The glare you want to give him is drowned out by the warmth that floods your entire body. “You two sharing secrets over there?” You squint your eye, pretending to be suspicious of them.
Eliza giggles, hiding in her hands. “No!”
“Then why are you whispering?” You demand, leaning in.
“We’re not!” Eliza giggles, kicking her feet as she tumbles off the couch.
“If you’re lying, I think a monster is going to come chase you,” you warn her, shaking your head exasperatedly.
Her eyes go bug wide, scared only as a four-year-old can be of a monster coming after her. “N-no, we weren’t whispering!”
You nod at her, smirking at Eddie, hoping it gets the point across. “Uh, oh, Eliza, I see a monster!”
Eddie catches on, dramatically crouching as he bares his teeth and pretends to growl. As soon as she hears it, she squeals, little footsteps taking off into the next room. You watch him run after her, suddenly completely forgetting that it wasn’t his idea to begin with.
How the hell have you just managed to fall for him even harder, you’ll never know. Maybe you want more than one with him.
You sit back comfortably on your chair, feeling completely relaxed from the sounds of their footsteps and giggles alone. Your head feels heavy falling over and suddenly facing Steve’s eyes already dead set on you. You’re startled out of your daze, head perking up quickly and hurriedly. “What?” Steve’s eyes flash up and down, making you feel a tad self conscious. “What?”
“What was that?” Steve asks, nodding towards where Eddie and Eliza are still running around, making loops around the house.
You shrug. “Just playing with your four year old?”
Steve tilts his head, eyebrows furrowed. “When you two have kids, I think the world needs to watch out.”
“Kids?” You ask exasperated. “Who said anything about that?”
“You did. And him. And I know you’ve at least talked about it.” Steve answers, unwavering conviction in his voice. You’re speechless, playing with your nails as you avoid his eyes. “Mmmhmm, that’s what I thought.”
Once Eliza is put to sleep, you’re comfortably on Eddie’s lap as a knock on the door echoes through the house. Jocelyn gives a smirk as she opens the door, and a parade of shouts bursts through the door. The group of men that burst through it are all loud and jeering, their smiles too wide as their hands grab at the man beneath you, picking him up by any body part they can grab. He’s promptly lifted over their heads, all of them ignoring his shouts in protest and threats to dismember them if they don’t let go of him.
Not that you’re mad at Steve for throwing Eddie’s bachelor party onto him, just the opposite. A warning that the next time you’d be seeing him was at the altar would’ve been nice, though. You heard him shouting from the basement, a mixture of glee and anger. Steve gets up from the couch, making his way towards the door to the stairs.
You rush before he goes, blocking the way to the stairs. “Take care of him, won’t you?”
“I promise no lap dances from any of the strippers,” he vows, his face smirking at the glare that lands. “I’m kidding! It’s just drunk D&D, no strippers involved, I promise!”
You hit him on his shoulder, just a little done with his bullshit. “Better not be.”
“I mean if he starts stripping when we get to the tequila, I make no promises on stopping him.”
You stop Jocelyn who is just passing by. “You sure they’re over each other?”
She shrugs, knowing exactly what you mean from 25 years of dealing with the two of them. “Jury’s out on that one, I’m afraid,” she winks, petting Steve’s confused face.
“Make sure he gets there tomorrow on time,” you nod, patting his arm condescendingly.  
“Right, a church in St. Louisville, right?” He asks. You hit him again, harsher. “Oh my god, sometimes you are so easy to piss off.”
You shoot one last glare. “For the moment, I think I have the right to be, you know? Sort of need him there on the other side of that aisle.”
“He’ll be there, he might be a bit hungover, but he’ll be there.”
“Alright. Now go downstairs, Harrington.” Steve startles you by tugging you into a hug, taking a moment in stunned silence before returning it. “Make sure he has fun.”
You sit down on the couch, listening to the crowd of men cheer as Steve finally gets to the bottom of the steps. Your head just hits the pillow on the couch when Jocelyn’s elbows land next to your hair, wearing a smirk you swear you’ve seen on Arlo before.
“Oh, you think you’re in the clear?” She asks, assessing the look on your face. “Come on in, ladies!”
Somehow when Eddie was picked up, you completely missed how there was a whole different group who followed in, sneaking their way into the kitchen. Now the very same ladies who organized the bachelorette party rushed in, grabbing your hands up from the couch as they all squeal in glee. You didn’t know where to look or what to say, surrounded by doting hands, both friends of yours and Eddie’s alike.
“Here,” no one in particular passes you a pretty dress, something you didn’t even pack for yourself. “Put this on, we’re going on a night out!”
“In Hawkins?” You ask, aware of the single dive bar that Eddie spent his nights working at.
They all let out a chorus of “no”, all explaining simultaneously that they rented a party bus and you’ll be travelling to the closest city that has one more than only one bar.
A tight dress, makeup that only other’s hands have put on you and a bit of pregaming, strobe lights are bumping and the bass is loud in while you’re surrounded by all of the hens. You’re extra surprised Nancy and Robin have also joined in on the fun, Robin’s voice scratchy in the speakers as she sings into the karaoke microphone. Your little sister is extra giddy that she was invited to join, too deep with number the drinks she’s already had.  
You’re just glad she’s not with Arlo for the night.
To catch your breath about halfway into the trip you sit down, everyone following your lead with beads of sweat on their foreheads. The music is turned down eventually, all eyes on you.
“So, are you excited?” Skyler asks, poking your hip right next to you.
You nod shyly, a big smile taking over your face. “Of course!”
“Okay, so I just have to know, what’s the craziest thing you guys have ever done?” Bethany abruptly asks on the other side of you.
Your face twists into confusion, giving every pair of eyes staring at you exactly what was going on in your brain; what the hell is she talking about? “Crazy?” You ask, question her, wondering what they could possibly mean. “We really aren’t all that crazy.”
“Oh, come on.” Viti interrupts, crossing her arms as she sits on the seat directly across from you. “You know exactly what she’s talking about.” She wiggles her eyebrows, smirking.
“I happen to know his nickname the Freak is not just a name…” Nancy laughs. “If rumours from High School are anything to go by.”
Your jaw drops, laughing to compensate for the discomfort. “Why do you all want to know so badly?”
“Please.” Skyler protests, leaning forward on her elbow. “The way he looks at you? There is no possible way you guys don’t have crazy, or at least crazy good sex. Spill the beans.”
You ask for a shot glass, downing it straight away. Not that you want to entertain it, but just to protest, you’re gonna need to be a lot less sober than you are right now. “Assuming you are even close to being right,” you start, asking for another shot, “why the hell would I tell you guys?”
“Because our curiosity is peaked.” Viti explains, unwavering in the intense eye contact with you. “Spill.”
“Fine.” You give in, barely holding the laughter that bubbles out from your mouth at their joyful expressions. “Seems you guys are desperate to know, so I will tell you one little adventure. Just one.”
The music is turned down into a low melody, acting as a background when you tell the story of hooking up with him in the dressing room after just moving in with him. Their expressions are slack jawed, all on the edge of their seats as you describe the want and the adrenaline that rushes through you as your face is pushed up against the dressing room wall.
You end the story, laughing with the crowd at the circumstance in which you ended up meeting Steve Harrington. The bus stops, pulling up to the first bar for the evening. You get up easily, ignoring the way all eyes stare at you in bewilderment. “Well, you coming, or what? It is my bachelorette party!”
Robin is the first one to get up, laughter leaving her lips as she follows behind you. “C’mon, if we get her drunk enough, I’m sure that’s not the only story she’ll tell us!”
You wish you could answer the question of how you successfully made your way back into the bed of your hotel room, waking up next to the warm body that is your fiancé. The headache is splitting, waking up to the alarm on your phone that rings loud and clear. “Oh fuck.” You wince, checking the time. Luckily you still have time until your appointments, glad you opted for a later ceremony.
You go for the carry on that rests on top of your bags, knowing it holds extra strength pain killer. You take two, this hangover the worst you’ve ever felt. You refresh yourself in the bathroom, splashing your face with cold water and brushing your teeth.
You stumble back into the main room, greeted by Eddie sat up on the bed with a charmed look on his face. “How you doin,’” he asks, seeming to know more than he let on.
“My head hurts,” you whine, crawling into bed and wriggling your way in his arms.
“With how drunk you were last night, sweets, I bet it does,” he laughs, remembering the way he was barely unable understand the slurred words that came from your mouth. “You were so sweet, my love, and a very sloppy kisser, might I add.”
You hide your face in his chest in embarrassment, the feeling getting worse as you hear his deep chuckles. “What did you see?”
Eddie is in his hotel room by 1:30, the night wrapped up early after too many rounds of shots and a rush of nostalgia from even some of the original Hellfire members joining in on the fun. They weren’t going to the wedding, but they had more than enough fun in making fun of him.
At 3:00, a few light knocks interrupt his late-night rerun. He was already yawning, his age setting in, but still waiting up for you. Through the peep hole, he sees your two best friends holding you by the arms, your eyes half open as your head sways. “Jesus,” he mumbles, rushing to unlock the chain and door lock. He opens the door with wide eyes, facing his fiancée who is giggling and hanging off her two best friends.
“Oh, thank God.” Skyler mutters, praising when Eddie opened the door. “Here, take your wife.”
You stumble forward into his arms, giggling madly when your face sees his. “You’re pretty.”
“Hi, sweets,” Eddie greets you, struggling to hold you up as your legs wriggle under him. “Have fun?”
You nod, wide smile on your face. “Kiss me.” Eddie is overtaken by how much tongue you give to him, hands hurriedly grabbing at the shirt he’s wearing, attempting to take it off and assumingly forgetting about the audience you held in the hallway.
“Whoa, whoa, baby.” He unpeels your hands and stops them, pushing them down. “I think you’re a little too drunk for that, go lie down, I’ll be right there, yeah?”
You nod, slowly staggering towards the bed, landing in a starfish position right in the middle. “So, uh, thought you said you wouldn’t get her too drunk?”
If he wasn’t so concerned for your liver, he’d laugh at the way your friends’ eyes bug out of their skulls. “We tried, we really did, girl was a runaway with a credit card.”
“You didn’t think to take her card away?”
Bethany squeaks, happy for her friend, but never wanting to be on the other side of his protectiveness again. “Oh, we tried. Also, she told us some stories.”
Eddie is afraid he already knows what she means by stories. “Stories?”
“Mmmhmm. We went from begging for one to not being able to shut her up.” Skyler explains, smiling meekly at the end of her sentence.
“Remind me not to send her out on a girls’ night with you two, anymore.” Eddie sighs, rubbing his eyes. “I don’t need her having liver failure by the time she hits thirty.”
“I mean, it was probably the excitement and all…” Bethany tries to mend but gives up at Eddie’s glare. “We’ll pick her up at 9 for the hair appointment?”
“You do that.” Eddie scrunches his face. “Thanks for getting her back safe, but I am seriously concerned for your lack of self-preservation. Goodnight.”
He doesn’t let them respond, closing the door and locking up for emphasis.
He slowly helps you take the dress that fits you extremely well off, assisting you into a pair of pyjamas. When he tucks you in under the blankets, you grab onto his shirt, yanking him in for a kiss. “Want you.”
Eddie doesn’t need any elaboration, feeling the way your hips sloppily grinded up towards him. “I know, baby, but you are way too drunk.”
“Pretty please?” You ask, your voice and face desperate in your want.
He sighs, petting your face gently. “I can make you cum, if that would help my baby?”
You nod, mewling in agreement.
“Okay, just to help you fall asleep, yeah?” You nod again as his fingers slide their way into your soaked panties, working them as he watches you fall apart easily under him.
It took you less than a minute to cum, he didn’t even slide one in. Damn. He was actually looking forward to dipping in your wet heat. You thank him repeatedly, yawning as you turn over and fall asleep in seconds.
He then had a hard on to get rid of, somehow turned on at how even when your mind is foggy all you can do is want him.
He fell asleep with you clinging onto him like a koala bear.
Eddie switches his glance back to you, smirking at the worried expression you wear on your face. “That even when you’re incredibly inebriated, you still just want me.” He chuckles, kissing your forehead. “But, I did want to request that you don’t destroy your liver, I was very concerned for you.”
You peer up at him, taken aback by how much his eyes convey the same message. “Okay.” You plant a clean, sober kiss on his lips, humming when his hands pet your hair. “Only because I never want to wake up not knowing what I did ever again.”
Eddie laughs, wondering what those CCTV cameras must’ve looked like. “Hey, princess?”
“Hmm?”
“Guess what?”
You lie on his chest, petting the patchy hair there. “What?”
“We’re getting married today.”
You can’t help it, grinning madly at this sentence and the pride in his voice. Holy shit, you’re getting married today.
Only ten more minutes of pure bliss, sharing sweet kisses and exchanging words of excitement do you get before the cavalry arrives, both your bridesmaids and Eddie’s groomsmen storming the room together.
He kisses you fiercely as he’s shooed out the hotel room, not able to get enough in before he sees you in that dress. “Love you!”
The door is shut, but you shout it back anyway, suddenly the excitement and the joy of your day settling in.
Holy shit, you’re marrying Eddie Munson, today.  
-
Since you called almost one month ago, the only hair salon in town has been booked for you and your bridesmaids until noon. The stylist is full of questions about how you met, how long you’ve been together, what he does for work, all things you’re more than happy to explain. You didn’t ask for much, only curls that braided into a crown at the base of your head, but you didn’t want to risk spending hours on it.
She leans in as soon as your hair is done, reaching your eyes over your shoulder in the mirror. “Correct me if I’m wrong, you’re the one marrying Eddie Munson, right?”
Your eyes bug, biting your lip. “Mmhm,” you confirm, fidgeting with your fingers in your lap.
“Don’t worry, small town things.” She laughs, taking the cape off you. “Your makeup artist just got here, I’ll let her take care of you in this seat.”
You thank her graciously, appreciating the companionship and conversation she provided, despite the nerves really starting to set in.
Thanks to a string of emails shared between you and the makeup artist, she has a great idea of exactly what you’re wanting, a natural look with the smallest hint of smoke. You find yourself having déjà vu when she asks the same questions, naming the groom to boot. The repetition is oddly comforting, you’d even call it soothing.
“Alright just a finishing touch, and you are all…done!” She hands you a hand mirror, and you couldn’t have done it better if you tried.
No. Seriously. You’ve tried.
Your bridesmaids all get their make up done, too, the group sitting in a circle as they talk absolute nonsense. “Dude, you’re the chilliest bride ever, we don’t have to wear matching dresses and you paid for our hair and make up? To think Skyler thought you were gonna be a bridezilla!”
You quirk your eyebrow at Skyler, who was in the middle of getting her make up done. For free. “Sky?”
“Hey, you were the one who always wanted the fairytale wedding,” Skyler rebuttals, raising her hands up in surrender.
“I said that like, a year ago!” You protest, a little defensive.
Skyler laughs, loud enough to stop all the other conversations in the salon. “Babe, you said that the week before you met your groom!”
Your eyes roll, a little embarrassed from being called out. “Yeah, okay, so before I met someone, I’m willing to give up a fairytale wedding for?”
“I mean he would’ve given you one,” your sister peeps out, having been quiet this entire time. “Pretty sure you didn’t need to give it up.”
“You have any idea how long those weddings take to plan?” You ask crossing your arms in your seat. “I was not going to wait that long.”
“Down, girl.” Bethany laughs, the rest of the salon following suit.
As soon as the stupidly massive bill is paid with a card that bares a name you’ll soon share, you’re brought back to the hotel room.
All you asked from your bridesmaids that they dress in something that makes them feel comfortable, but not something they’d wear to a night out.
As soon as they’re all dressed, they surround you in a circle of love as they help you get into your dress. Not that it requires them to help you out, but the sentiment is certainly there. Just when you thought you looked great in the dress when you initially tried it on, it’s nothing with everything tied together. God forbid someone call you out for being weepy, but you couldn’t help it even if you tried.
“You ready, Miss. Bride?” Bethany, your maid of honour asks, petting your hair as she meets your eyes in the mirror.
“Nope.” You answer, without a lick of hesitation. “Yet at the same time, I have never been more ready.”
“Usually I would harp on you for being cheesy, but that was actually really touching,” Skyler admits. You promise to yourself you wouldn’t hold the mist in her eyes against her, (no matter how hard she makes it.)
Your heel lands on the pavement of the cement, getting out of the car Bethany and Skyler took to the church. In the entrance hall of the church you meet your parents and the groomsmen, Eddie tucked away so he can’t see him, or rather, he can’t see you.
As the groomsmen pair up with the bridesmaids, (Bethany blushing as her arms are wrapped around Steve’s), your dad’s hand lands on your shoulder, kind eyes behind his round classes peering at you. “You, ok, there?”
“I’m so nervous.”
He takes these words in, nodding in consideration. “What exactly are you nervous about?”
A rush of emotion takes over you, resisting the urge to glance down the aisle to where you know Eddie’s about to start making his way down any moment now. “How badly I want this.”
“Nothing else?” You nod your head, no reluctance in it. “Well, then all you have to do is start down that aisle.”
The music you picked, a cover of Can’t Help Falling in Love, starts at 3’clock on the dot, much to the way your heart flutters.
Steve approaches you, arm around Bethany’s. “I helped Eddie sneak through, he didn’t see a single thing, and he’s already on the opposite side of the aisle waiting for you.” You nod, your eyes apparently bug wide. “Breathe. If it helps, he’s been a wreck all day.”
That helps. That helps more than he knows. “Really?”
“It was kind of annoying, honestly.” Steve answers, face twisted up. “Well, we’re about to miss our cue in the song, see you there.”
“Uh huh,” you answer, warm under the kiss he plants on your cheek.
Arm in arm with Dylan, Skyler winks at you as she soon follows.
Did your sister really have to walk the aisle with Arlo?
Your dad’s arm hooks in yours, patting your hand comfortingly. “It’s time.”
But I can’t help…falling in love with you.
There’s only about 30 or so people in the pews, but even as they all stand with their eyes on you, you’re glad there’s so few. However as soon as your eyes meet his chocolate ones on the other end, you forget all the nerves, all the anxiety, all the worry.
First, your mouth curls into an involuntary smile. Not by any means of sadness, does your smile fade and turn to tears. A laugh bubbles from your chest, the mixture of tears and laughter confusing you. Maybe it has something to do with the tears that also reflect in his eyes, and the way you can’t look away from him, but you could swear there’s only the two of you in the church.
The two of you in the world, really.
There’s a squeeze on your arm, your dad reminding you he’s with you every step on the way, but your eyes are glued in place. The closer you get to him, the wider his smile grows, yours growing as a direct answer. A tear escapes, and escape in the sense that you’ve done your best to hold them back, mouthing I love you to him.
If he didn’t have as much pride as he does, you know he’d be just as weepy as you are.
Finally, you reach the end of the aisle. “I’m proud of you,” your dad whispers, placing a kiss on your forehead. “Now, go get married.”
You finally exchange a smile with him, quickly embracing his hug. “Thanks, dad.”
You step up to the altar, eyes raking over the sea, or pond, of people in the pews. Eliza sits with her mom in the front seat, excitedly waving to a couple that only has eyes for one another.
Finally, your hands extend to hold his, switching back to face him. Oh, just when you thought he looked handsome, it turns out he gets impossibly more so when wearing a suit. A gorgeous, black suit, accentuating his slim hips and his hair loosely gelled down.
His eyes rake over you, eyes unable to stay in one place on you. “You look beautiful.” Eddie whispers, voice deep and breathless.
You sigh, another tear leaving your eye. “Unfairly handsome.”
“You been crying?” He asks, holding your face to wipe them away.
Your lean your head into his hand, closing your eyes in sweet relief. “You’ve been, too,” you sigh, noting the single tear streaked down his face.
The person you’ve chosen to marry you has no true significance, and Steve had initially suggested he do it, but who cared. However, the pastor has known Eddie since he was a teenager, more than happy to marry him to you.
His words fade into the background, a few verses about love and anecdote or two about it in his speech. Truthfully, nothing matters but his eyes on yours and the way his gaze makes you feel. 
A chorus of laughter echoes through the church, catching your attention, finally. “Seems we you got back again.” When you both look at him confused, he chuckles deeply. “We understand you’ve written your own vows?” You look at one another, but there’s no hint of any shame. “Eddie, you may go first.”
“I wish that I know how much that one shower would change my life,” Eddie starts, his thumb rubbing over your fingers.  “I got in, stressing about the shop, then I got downstairs, and I loved you from the moment I saw you.” Oh, fuck. “I have to be honest, I know you keep saying you’re lucky, but I really am the lucky one that you saw anything in this old schmuck. Everyday I have done nothing but the best to feel deserving of your love, to make sure you aren’t taken for granted.”
The tears that stream down your face are uncontrollable. “Sometimes I don’t think I have any right to feel any right to feel as protective or possessive over you as I am, until you surprise me by saying something that puts words in my mouth, the same ones I’d have been thinking all that time. To love this much and to be loved the same in return is a miracle that I will never take advantage of, my love. You will never feel taken advantage of, never worry about money or shelter, and never worry about my loyalty to you.
“I love you. I will never be ashamed of it, I will never ask more of you than you can give. You have already given me everything you have, whether I deserve it or not, and I will give you the same, every time. To be honest, I have marvelled over what to say to you, staring at a blank page. All I can say is that you will never doubt my love for you. Ever.”
God, your makeup must be completely ruined by now from the tears and the snot. Halfway through Bethany came in clutch, offering tissues from her brassiere. Your ears could’ve been tricking you, but you swear up and down there are sniffles echoing from the audience.
“Now that we all had a chance to collect our selves, our beautiful bride, your turn.” You nod, blinking in surprise when you notice there’s a wetness in his eyes, as well.
“That’s gonna be hard to follow,” you laugh, the witnesses laughing with you. “Eddie. My love. To say it is a miracle that I love you this much and you love me just as much is an understatement. It’s not just a miracle, it’s a dream come true. A dream I never knew I had. That day also started differently for me, in ways I still regret to this day,” you say, looking behind him to where Dylan stands. “You come downstairs with your wet hair and, well, you, and it is true more than I could describe that I did fall in love with you in that moment, too.” His tears aren’t as messy as yours was, but Steve comes in clutch with a tissue as well.
“Every day I’m with you, all other fears seem to fade and disappear. Nothing else matters, I can truly get through everything with you by my side. It’s no lie that I am outrageously attracted to you, but I don’t think anyone could blame me for it.” He laughs at this, rolling his eyes in dismissal. “It’s the only part of my attraction though, I will deny anyone that could even dare to insinuate otherwise. Until I met you, I never knew I could feel this loved, this happy or satisfied by anyone’s mere existence, alone.
With you, I am happy. Even when I’m not. With you, I am both protected and taken care of. The way you protect me, I will do the same. The way you take care of me, I will do the same. Your sweet selflessness will never be taken advantage of, in any such way. From the moment I saw you, Edward Munson, I knew. I will love you for the rest of my life.”
“Jesus Christ.” It wouldn’t have been too alien to guess that it was Eddie who said it, but the very sniffles and exclamation came from behind him, Steve using his suit jacket to wipe a tear away.
“You okay, bud?” Eddie asks, also using his tissue.
“Just marry the girl, already.”
“Well, we do have some papers to sign.” The pastor escorts you to where your legal papers sit, names written for everything except the date and final signitures.
Steve signs, followed by Bethany, both sporting shiny eyes. She winks her green eyes at you, handing you the pen. When you sign yours, Eddie places a kiss on your neck, sweet and gentle. When he signs his, your fingers cling to the silk material of his jacket.
“Well, I think you two have seemed to wait long enough. I now pronounce you husband and wife, you may kiss your bride.” Eddie doesn’t even bother waiting until the end of the sentence to grab your face and plant a kiss on your lips, knocking the air out from your lungs from the love that surrounds you. He doesn’t care about his audience, barely takes note of the applause that breaks out, kissing you in a way that you normally wouldn’t dare in front of your parents on a good day.
Who fucking cares, you’re announcing your love to the world, they’ll get over it.
The flashes of Jeremy Byer’s camera is in your face as you walk down the aisle of the church together, hand in hand with him, fingers nearly losing feeling in your fingers as he grips onto you tightly.
When you stop in the church corridor, all that can be felt is a sense of celebration. You did it. All you need to do now, is party. “Oh my god, finally.”
He chuckles, wrapping you in his arms. “Can I tell you something, love?” You nod, inhaling his sweet cologne. “The moment I saw you in this pretty dress I got rock hard.”
You lick your lips, eyeing him up and down. “You don’t think your words made me absolutely drenched, Ed?”
“Fuck.” Eddie mutters, kissing you sweetly again.
There wasn’t a moment to escape for a few hours, whisked off to an area surrounded by beautiful flowers and greenery to take pictures, surrounded by the wedding party. On the phone, all you communicated is that you needed someone to take pictures of the wedding party for portraits as well as individual shots of you and Eddie, and Jeremy was a complete gem.
As soon as the portraits are over, every portrait where you look in his eyes not feeling a hint of cheesiness or falsehood, you are to head back to the hotel conference room for a reception.
Traditional receptions usually hold a first dance, speeches, embarrassing moments, cake cutting ceremonies, etc. To be completely honest you don’t trust your best friend or his to make speeches that won’t embarrass the two of you completely. And rather than sit for dull speeches, you told Eddie all you wanted was to celebrate with him and a DJ playing all the songs the two of you love, the wild combination it is.
You told your dad you would dance with him for the song that would’ve been your father-daughter dance, but nearly no traditions kept up for the reception.
The hotel offered a few plates of entrees for your guests before the DJ announces you two as a married couple something you accepted with a small external deposit. Steve oversaw ordering 20 pizzas in varying flavours, the very thing you’ll be doing instead of cake or dinner.
You hold your new husband’s hand in excitement as the DJ announces your arrival, the first announcement of Mr. and Mrs. Munson to some dad-rock song that he personally requested.
Well, the only thing you really splurged on for the reception was the open bar.
You pet the curls at Eddie’s neck, swaying together to the first slow song that the DJ played. Your lips are already kiss-bruised from your long day spent kissing him, but it doesn’t possibly prevent you kissing him any more, every single one he gives you somehow making you dizzier than last.
“Baby.” He grunts, getting your attention. He nods behind you, gesturing to the left. You turn you head to face Arlo and Viti, her eyes shining bright as she stares up at him, dancing even slower than you were.
“I’m gonna have to accept that, aren’t I?” You say, noting the special way her face is cradled by his hand and the way she leans into it.
“Looks like it, sweets.” Eddie says, his eyes still on you when you look back to him.
You sigh, wrapping your hands around his neck. “Hey, I gotta get going, I’m getting exhausted.” You look over to face Wayne, grinning in his plaid and slacks.
“Of course, thanks for coming.” Eddie says, giving him a hug. “So glad you could meet her.”
“Are you kidding, Ed? With those vows? Next time I see you, you better warn me before you make me cry like that.” Wayne laughs winking. “I’m glad you two found each other.”
“Love you, Wayne.” You say, grabbing him in for a big hug. “It was so nice to meet you.”
Wayne hugs him, too, gripping onto him tightly. “Thanks for the open bar, you two.”
The way you surround yourself with your friends and family, dancing up and down as the music bumps, the lights down with strobe lights flashing. In the middle of it, Eddie starts kissing your neck hands roaming and making you feel everything.
Eddie tugs on your hand as he leads you to a crowded hallway, a dead end with nowhere to go to. Your back collides with the wall as he kisses you, feverously and deliciously hungry for you as you are for him. “Oh, sweet love, do you know how crazy you make me in that pretty dress?” His hands hurriedly make their way under the skirt of your dress, ruffling it up as he presses himself against you. “I have been mercilessly hard since the moment you started coming down that aisle, baby.”
“You gonna fuck me in the hallway, Eddie?” You ask, breathless, “Can’t hold back that badly?”
“From the moment I first kissed you, I haven’t been able to hold back from you, love. You think I can hold back when you drive me as crazy as you do?” His kisses trail down your neck, nibbling and simultaneously inhaling your scent. “My wife, my gorgeous, lovely, beautiful, bride.”
You gasp, head tilted up as he effortlessly lifts you by your hands lifting under your thighs. “Need your cock, Ed.”
“Yeah, you need me to fuck you ruthlessly, my love?”
You nod hands shaky as you attempt to undo his dress pants. “Please, Eddie.”
Eddie yanks your panties down your thighs, marveling at the lacy fabric. “Fuck, I need that sweet, tight, pussy.”
Before you knew it, Eddie was lining himself up with your entrance. “Fuck, hurry up, before someone comes for looking for us.”
“You think I care if someone walks in on me fucking my wife?” Eddie asks, and his question sounds genuine. “I couldn’t care less if someone walks in on us, at least they could get a good show, we could give ‘em someone to be jealous of, yeah?”
Hopelessly, you feel impossibly more turned on by his dirty perfect words.  “Then give me your big cock, Ed. Please.”
Eddie pushes into you, filling you completely. “Oh, there’s that cock drunk face I’ve been wanting to see.”
“Eddie, cock, so big!”
He doesn’t waste a second bucking into you, harsh and ruthlessly perfect. “Somehow your pussy gets better every time I fuck you, sweets. How tight you are, how perfect, oh, if I didn’t love it so much I would say it needs to be illegal.”
“The only thing that should be illegal, Ed, is how good you are with words.” Eddie laughs, hot breath down your neck. “God, you make me so happy…”
“Can’t wait to see you big and pregnant, sweets.” Eddie sighs, repeatedly bucking into you. “Wanna fill you with my babies.”
“Want your babies.” You gasp.
“Where the hell did they go?” Down the hall, you hear someone but it doesn’t occur that it even needs to matter. “God, need to put a bell on those two—oh my god!”
Your head turns to the noise, seeing your best friend standing in the hall with her eyes covered by her hands. “Either stay and enjoy the show,” Eddie stops to gasp, “or take off back to the hall.”
“I-I’m so sorry…I’ll see you in the dancing room,”
You giggle, tugging him in for a big kiss. “Sweet girl.” He laughs, starting to fuck you even harder.
“Cum in me, please, Eddie.” You beg, nails digging into the hair on his neck. “Wanna be filled with you.”
“I am going to keep you good and full on the honeymoon, my good whore,” Eddie mutters and you can feel him start to fall apart. “Gonna fuck you everywhere I can, put on a good show for everyone.”
You tighten around him, turned more than ever by his words. “I love you, Mr. Munson.”
He smiles, colliding his forehead against yours. “I love you, more, Mrs. Munson.”
You don’t know what it is about your new name, but it’s what gets the both of you off, Eddie’s cum filling you up deliciously.
Bethany avoids your eye as soon as you get into the room, and you’re sure she’ll get over it, not like you haven’t heard her and her ex-boyfriend many times.
“Hey, heard you traumatized your maid of honour.” Steve laughs, clutching a slice of pizza in one hand, and a drink of whiskey in the other.
You yank the piece, suddenly aware of how little you’ve eaten. “I thought she’d know better to walk in on us by now.” You laugh, taking a large bite.
Steve checks his watch, the very same hand you just yoinked the pizza from. “Doesn’t your flight take off in about the next three-ish hours?”
Eddie checks his, gulping in answer. “Oh, shit.” You check it with him, having a flight out that same night. “Should we get going, love?”
You nod, placing your head in the crook of his shoulder. “Let’s get going.”
Everyone applauds as you walk out in a sweet white dress, ready to take off to Cancun with your husband, walking down the lane surrounded by love.
Everyone gives you a hug, wishing you well on your long honeymoon.
“Don’t expect to hear from us!” You call, getting in the car that Eddie ordered.
-
The heat from sun is beautiful, sandals flopping in sync as you walk from the taxi that brought you to the hotel. “Jesus, Eddie.” You mutter, looking at your extravagant surroundings. “You did not need to spend this much on the hotel.”
“Well, get used to being spoiled, baby girl.” He mutters, leading you to the check in desk.
The check in attendant smiles sweetly, covertly putting one side of her hair behind one of her ears. She speaks with a thick Mexican accent, giving her best customer service smile. “Hi, checking in?”
“Yes, under the name Munson, please.” Eddie says, wrapping his arm around you.
“Oh, the honeymoon suite!” She exclaims, her smile brightening. “Well, to start, congratulations on your nuptials, and every request is completely fulfilled, no problem. As asked, we will not disturb your room unless absolutely necessary, and we have already booked the spa for your wife.”
“Spa?” You ask, eyebrow tilting towards him. “I love the sound of that.”
“Knew you would.”
“And you have a dinner reservation tonight at 7. Any questions, feel free to call the front desk, any time of the day,” she says, handing the card with the room number.
The floor level with your room only has a few rooms. Eddie taps his card on the door to open it, opening to a room with a damn kitchen suite and a separate room for the bed. “What the hell did you spend?” You ask him, mouth gapping open as your bags slip out of your bags.
“Don’t ask questions you don’t want the answers to, love.” Eddie walks to you, hands caressing your face as he pulls you in for a kiss. “C’mon, we have king bed I want to take advantage of.”
“What was that about no interruptions?” You ask him, petting his curls.
“You think we’re leaving this room for the next six hours?” he asks, lightly pushing you towards the double doors that open to the bedroom.
His words make you literally insane, wanting him more than you ever have. “W-what?”
“Baby, I am going to absolutely ravish you for so long you won’t even remember your own name.” He claims, already pulling the zipper down your back. “But you will remember your new last one.”
Your back is laid on the bed, Eddie pulling your panties down, biting on the second pair of lacey lingerie you wear for him in less than 24 hours. “Sweet girl, look how soaked you are for me.”
“Need you.” You grunt, anticipating Eddie finally tasting you from the feel of his hot breath on your pussy, sending shivers down your spine as Eddie places your legs over his shoulders.
Eddie kisses you, nose nuzzling in your intoxicating scent, his hilted nose hitting right up against your clit. “Fuck, are you wet, baby.”
“Can you blame me, I just married the hottest man alive!” You moan, heels pulling him in.
“My wife is the prettiest, and I will be spending my life making sure everyone around me knows how smoking hot you are. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have a meal to eat.”
Your hands fly into his short curls, lying restlessly as Eddie devours you. Your first orgasm takes over your body, invading every sense with mind numbing pleasure.
By the third one invades your body, everything is too much, feels too good, “Fuck! Eddie I can’t, I can’t!”
“You can, my girl, of course you can. Remember what I said about making you forget your name? I haven’t quite gotten there, yet.” He laughs, thumb circling your clit.
By the fifth orgasm you eventually learn that not even begging will stop him if he can help it. “You got a safe word, use it.”
His fingers hook in your warmth, driving you to another one, to which this point you’ve lost count. You swear you’re speaking to him, but in all truth, it is all incoherent. You’re trying to tell him how much you love him, and how good he makes you feel, but Eddie can’t make a single word out of it.
“What’s your name, hmm?” Eddie asks, spitting on your pussy dirtily.
You tell him, gasping for air.
“I see, still not enough yet.”
It takes 11 orgasms to finally drive you to the point where tears are falling from your eyes, both in happiness and straight pleasure. Eddie’s face is straight up soaked in you, the slick drenching his face like a beard. “Alright, beautiful wife, what’s your name?”
Your head lifts up, loopy at the idea that you even had a name to begin with. All that comes out is desperate gasps.
“There we go.” He mutters, crawling up your body. “Think you can handle my cock, or do you think you’re done, baby.”
Your hand reaches out for him, tugging him by his holiday shirt. You can’t communicate, all words left your brain, but you do know you still want his cock.
“Of course, I will still fuck my good girl.” Eddie answers, wiping the tears that fell down your face away.
You’re limp as he fucks into you, hands gripping your hips ruthlessly. All he can do is mutter how much he loves you, and how good of a girl you just were for him, and he could watch you fall apart all day, especially after marrying you.
He fills you up again, arms wrapping from behind you as you fell straight asleep, still muttering sweet nothings and wishes of his love.
-
The first thing that happens when you wake up, is your knees collapse from under you when you try to get up to use the bathroom.
After the mind numbing pleasure he just gave you, you suppose it only made sense. As you brush your teeth, he walks up behind you, his naked torso against your bare back as he kisses your neck gently. “Feel good?”
You laugh, almost choking on the toothpaste in your mouth. “Yes, baby.” You nod, spitting it into the sink. “It’s not past 7, is it?”
He turns you around to face him, giving you a sweet look of love. “Nope. Actually it’s in about an hour. Get ready, sweet stuff.”
“Actually, one minute.” You giggle, grabbing him by the hand before he can leave the bathroom.
“Hmm?” He asks, face questioning.
“Just need to do one thing…” You couldn’t help it, knowing he spent the better part of two hours just going down on you before you napped together. You get on your knees.
“What—oh, oh! Oh, fuck.”
After being bent over the sink in the bathroom, Eddie and you make your way into the front of the restaurant.
The host leads the way, sitting you in a corner of the dining room.
Eddie orders you a sweet cocktail and him a bourbon, eyeing you over the menu.
You returned the favour, making him cum twice before he finally begged to just fuck you.
The dinner is filled with your hopes and dreams, things you’ve been too worried to tell one another, scared of coming across too much.
Eddie wants to raise three kids with you. You agree, confessing how hard you fell for him after seeing him chase Eliza. He doesn’t plan on moving, but might if you asked him to.
You’re only working because you’re scared of relying on him, or making him feel like a bank. He doesn’t care, you can work or not, it’s completely up to you. Sometimes you worry about him being afraid to tell you when he is feeling too achy, joints too sore, or is not ready for something. Truly, honestly, Eddie is more worried about you thinking he’s too old for you.
It was never a worry to begin with, despite the 22-year age gap.
If you could stop asking yourself how it’s possible to keep falling for someone harder, you would.
When Eddie takes the dress you wear off, he’s whispering sweet promises, somehow even sweeter than the vows he told you.
It was two more rounds before you fell asleep in his arms once more.
-
Camille works her front desk, filling in some paperwork and starting her opening shift duties. “Hi Linda!” She says, greeting one of the maids who has been working there 15+ years. “Morning, Linda! Any updates?”
Linda leans in, as she always does when she has hot gossip. “Were you the one that checked in that newly wed couple yesterday?”
“Uh, Munsons on the eighth floor?” She asks, remembering the way he touched her ass so brazenly in front of her. “Yeah, I remember them.”
“Well every maid has heard them over the last 24 hours, they are relentless with one another.”
Camille resists from laughing, eyes bugging out of her head. “Like…?”
“Yes. Exactly like that.” She looks both ways before leaning in again.
“And trust me when I say they are loud.”
“Well, I guess I know why they didn’t want to be interrupted,” She laughs, barely holding back in laughter.
-
The hot sand lies underneath your towel, one foot bent, the other extended as your sunglasses barely shade you from the sun. One ear pod is in your ear, the other in Eddie’s, listening to a sweet mixture of both your music taste.
Eddie lies almost directly next to you, body in direct touch with yours. You’ve been there for barely an hour, sun cascading down on you. “Hey sweet thing,” Eddie starts, turning towards you, leaning on his elbow.
You take the earpiece out, lifting your head to look at your smoking hot husband. “Hmm?”
“C’mon, we’re going for a swim.” Eddie says, holding your hand out for your earpiece. “C’mon.”
You hand it to him, letting the dress you wear over your bathing suit fall off your body. “It’s unfair how hot you are.” He says, eyes appreciating you blatantly.
One of the only things you’ve kept from your relationship with your now stepson, (still weird), is the bathing suit you wore when you met Eddie. You made sure he didn’t see it until this moment, and it was worth the wait. Even as you run straight to the water, you’re utterly aware of how Eddie is chasing you, giggles invading the otherwise quiet beach as you splash into the water.
As you swim together, you can see the sweat that beads on his skin from the hot sun. You can’t help but splash him, enjoying every moment with him in the eerily blue water. “You like my swimsuit?”
He grabs you so your legs easily wrap around his waist, lips meeting the salt on his skin from the sweat. “Shut up, you knew exactly what you were doing, baby.”
“Oh, and what’s that?”
He laughs, arms pulling you in tightly, so you feel the boner in his trunks. “You don’t think I don’t remember what you were wearing when I first met you, sweets?” One hand slips to your bikini bottom sliding it over. “Those pink strings stayed etched in my mind for days.”
One finger slides in, Eddie watching your reaction carefully. “Been thinking of ways to make you fall apart on a public beach ever since, and this is just one of them.”  He feels you tighten up around him in response, a smile slowly creeping on the face. “Making you cum in the water, no one will be the wiser if you keep quiet.”
You gulp, placing your head in the crook of his neck. “Oh, fuck, daddy.”
“I know you love to be watched, hmm, my little minx?”
You nod, barely holding in any of the gasps that leave your throat. “Love people to see you like this, I just know you do.”
“Gonna make you cum, then we’re gonna fuck hidden away from the rest of them, yeah?” You nod, nails digging into his shoulder.
The feeling takes over you, withering in his arms as you try to stay quiet. The sloshing of the water around the two of you certainly doesn’t help, however. “Eddie.”
“Hmm, if I didn’t know water sex actually feels terrible, I’d have put it in by now.” Eddie muses, still grinding his tent against your cunt, still uncovered.
Eddie eventually finds a little secluded area sort of by the water, yet somewhere people might still be able to cross accidentally. His cock his perfect as it hits the spot repeatedly, and he doesn’t even give up after the first time he fills you up. “Listen to you whine for me like a little slut.” He moans, untying the strings on your neck to reveal your tits. “I bet everyone on that beach can hear you.”
At this point you didn’t even care. “Let them listen.”
He laughs, sighing into your neck. “Whatever you say, pretty girl. Just keep taking this cock, let the chips fall where they may.”
-
It’s a miracle your stuff wasn’t stolen off the beach.
Eddie sends you to the spa, demanding you get everything and anything that tickled your fancy. When asked why he didn’t want to follow you, he gives the vaguest explanation in the world, and unfortunately he’s stubborn enough to wait until you give in.
So, a full body massage, a pedicure, sitting in a mud bath just because you can, and you come back to the hotel room feeling more pampered than you knew was possible. “Hey, Ed—” You stop short as soon as the red flower petals that lead you to the bedroom come into sight. “What--?”
All you can do is follow the giggles that radiate from the room.
The double doors open to him, sitting next to a table with a supper on it. “How you feelin, sweets?”
“Pampered.” You answer honestly, your feet twisting nervously.
“Good.” Eddie answers, picking up a dress you knew he had bought in light of being the only one to ever see you wear it. It’s…revealing…to say the least. “Put that on, then come sit down with me.” As his eyes rake down your body, lucky isn’t even close to how you’re feeling. “Man, I’m good.”
“What’s all this for?”
“Do I need a reason to spoil you?”
You laugh, sitting when he pulls the chair out for you. “No, I’m just—”
“I get it.” Eddie offers, sitting across the small table. “It feels a bit much, to me, too. But man, I need you to know how much I love you, sometimes or I will melt.”
Do I even need to tell you how the evening ended? I’ll give you a hint; love bites that cover your neck, passed your breast, and trailing all the way to your pussy.
-
“Since when do you dance, anyway?” You ask him after he tells you the purpose of your walk for the night.
“Since grinding against you in a club was an option.” Eddie answers, laughter bubbling behind in his voice.
He leads you through a crowd of people dancing to a Latin beat, heavy on horns and percussion. He doesn’t give you a chance to even hesitate, his fingers strong on your exposed hips from the cut out in your dress, his knee planting itself in between your legs.
The heat makes his curls frazzle, the constant salt on his skin sweet. From the last two weeks spent in the sun, he’s starting to get a sun-kissed glow. His hand intertwines itself into your hair, tugging on the scalp as his tongue makes its way into your mouth, somehow still moving his hips against yours simultaneously.
“This is the best feeling.” He mutters, not expanding any more.
“What?” You mewl, your hips truly starting to give in to the beat.
“Knowing I have the hottest girl here.” He states, as if it’s a straight fact.
“Imagine how I feel.” You state, knowing for a fact no one even compares to his level.
Eddie turns you around, mouth kissing against your neck as your hand lands on the curls that now are surprisingly already getting some growth again.
He can’t stop his wondering hands. He never can. As if he has the strength to. They never actually touch anything, but they do grab at your ass, your thighs, even feel your tit up. Eddie loves the heat that radiates your pussy, a signal of how fantastic he makes you feel, and how much you want him, no matter where you are.
As you hop bar to bar, drink to drink, dance to dance, by the time you stumble back into the hotel room together you’re both so revved up, you don’t even bother taking your clothes off.
Your reputation throughout the hotel is how intensely you feel for one another, how badly you love each other, and usually they’d just chop it up to newlyweds, but this was a different intensity. Most of the maids haven’t even seen your faces, but they know for a plenty of intimate details just from cleaning on the same floor.
There’s not a single noise complaint, as the floor of the newlywed suites are basically made to make it your oasis.
By the end of the third week, you get homesick for your little house with him, homesick for your own bed. Eddie has spent all the time in the world ravishing you wherever he can, and it would be a lie to say you didn’t spend a single second on your knees in a public setting.
Camille, a woman who has spent the three weeks recommending local restaurants and helping Eddie with his little schemes, helps you check out and speaks to you over the desk as if you were an old friend. “By the way, I hope you know you two have gained quite the reputation here. Have a safe flight.”
Eddie’s truck is in the driveway when you get home, Steve promising to bring it back as one of his many best-man duties.
As your back hits your back, it’s better than ever to be home, glancing up at the popcorn ceiling. As you’re lying down, you notice a slight ache in your nipples that isn’t very normal for you. No mind, you would grab a test from under the sink and take it just in case.
Is…is that two lines? Is that two lines?
That’s definitely two lines.
“Shit.”
-
Taglist: @pinkcowracing @yourthebrokengirl @skrzydlak @thirddeadlysin @sammararaven @bebe07011 @prettylovley @josephquinnschesthair @forget-you-morelike-fuck-you @names-were-taken
Taglist for Really Drives Me Mad: @yunnie-f1 @josephquinnsfreckles @corrodedcoffincumslut @daisyridleyss @daniellabrandt @lail1010 @spencerssatchel @bl4ckt00thgr1n @ali-r3n @tlclick73 @vintagehellfire @hellfirefiend @kittydeadbones @luumunson @uncxmfxrtablex @eddiesgfffffffffff @hkurbsjundebi @eddies-puppet @joantje @novelnovella @shady-the-simp @lma1986 @mischieftom @strangerfan3691 @crayongirl-linz @dumblittlebunbun @ick90 @emilyshortcake @lemonmintseltzer @joannamuns9n
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justmystyles · 11 months
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Hi, could you make a fic about something to do with money maybe Harry dating a girl who came from not much and she still isn’t used to the fancy things in life like he is and so when there dating she feels bad ever spending his money.
I’m currently having to sell most of my Harry merch because we can’t afford to fix things in our house and I am very sad over it so I just need some comfort but if you decide not to write this, you’re still one of my favorite writers. Thank you for all the comfort you bring me.
Love Don't Cost A Thing
read my other work here
pairing: Harry Styles x plus size reader
word count: 1.1k
warnings: a couple of curse words, but other than that, it's tame.
a/n: to my anonymous requester, i am so sorry for the hard times you have found yourself in. i wish i had something i could say that would help you through. just know that hard times don't last forever, there will be a light at the end of the tunnel, and i am hoping and praying that you reach it soon.
also, thank you so much for your kind words. i am so incredibly honored that you consider me one of your favorite writers, that compliment made more than just my day, i think it may have made my whole summer. i hope this blurb is what you are looking for, and provides you the comfort you need right now.
if you ever need someone to talk to, i am here. i may not be able to provide much, but i am happy to be a listening ear (reading eye?) if you need one. 🖤
tags: @allthelovehes @ameerakane20 @ash-craze @bethanysnow @blue-ballad @brightlightsinlife @creativelyeva @cute-as-ducks420 @fanficismydrug @gem1712 @golden-hoax @gothmingguk @groovychaosavenue @hillzrry @iceebabies @indierockgirrl @jerseygirlinca @jng4kook @jooniesbabie @kaverichauhan @lexiecamposv @mrs-anna-styles211994 @n0vaj3an @rach2699 @ravenclawdirectioner @stylesfeverr @superchrystaldrug @tenaciousperfectionunknown @tiaamberxx @thechaoticjoy @theekyliepage @walkingintheheartbreaksatellite @youknowwhaaat
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The waiter drops the check at your table, thanking you for coming in and continues on his way. You reach your hand out to grab it, but Harry beats you to it. Again.
“Harry, you don’t have to–” 
“I know, baby, but I want to. I love spoiling my girl.” He reaches his free hand across the table, squeezing yours gently. 
Ever since you and Harry started going out, you hadn’t paid for a thing. Not only that, but the things he’s been paying for have been extravagant and way outside of your comfort zone. The gifts, the meals, the flowers, the flights. He has taken you around the world and back, and has refused to let you pay for any of it.
Holidays and birthdays had been hard too. Harry always gave you multiple extravagant gifts, you could never even come close to matching it. He told you he didn’t care, that your gifts were always so meaningful, and that’s what was important. You knew he meant it, that he didn’t need you to buy him fancy things. He was more than capable of doing it himself. But it didn’t matter to you, you felt an imbalance in the relationship that was only growing with time. And you were sure that the gossip blogs and fans noticed it, talking about how you were just with him for his money. It wasn’t true, you and Harry knew that and it should have been enough, but it wasn’t. 
You didn’t grow up poor, you were grateful for what you had and knew that there were others that were worse off than you. But you didn’t even have half of what you were experiencing now. Your parents raised you to be practical with your money, to save and not to spend frivolously. You always had what you needed, but weren’t always able to have what you wanted. 
Now that you were with Harry, even if you just made an offhand comment about a cute piece of jewelry or clothing, all of the sudden it was yours. You love Harry, and you know he was doing it because he loves you too, but it still didn’t sit right with you. 
Later that night, you were laying in bed together. Harry was talking to you about his schedule for the upcoming month.
“So I was thinking you could come meet me in Paris. We could go to that little cafe we love, do a little shopping.” He suggested with a smile, loving the idea of walking through the most romantic city in the world with the love of his life. 
“Sure,” you agreed. “I could probably swing the money for a round trip ticket.” 
“You’re not swinging anything,” he pressed a kiss to your temple. “I’ve got you, baby.” 
“Harry, I can afford a flight.” You’re not sure you really can. You’ll probably eat canned goods and boxed mac and cheese for a month, but it’s better than the guilt you feel every time Harry opens his wallet for you. 
“I know you can, but you shouldn’t have to. I’m asking you to come spend time with me, it should be my treat.” 
“Yeah, but everything is always your treat, Harry.” You say with a slight bite in your tone. 
Harry looks at you confused, and a little bit hurt. “Angel, are you alright?” 
“No Harry, I don’t think I am,” you confess. “I can’t keep doing this, it doesn’t feel okay.” Harry stays silent, allowing you to say what you need too. “I love you so much, and you have the kindest, most generous heart of anyone I have ever met. I just, it’s just too much. The meals, the gifts. You don’t let me pay for anything, I feel like… I don’t know. I know you don’t see a problem with it, but I do. It just makes me feel… uncomfortable. I’m basically living off of your money, and I don't feel right about it.”
“Baby,” he said as he let out a breath. “I had no idea you felt this way.” He brought his hand up, brushing your cheek gently. 
“I know you didn’t. And it’s a me problem, I know that too.” 
Harry shakes his head sharply. “No it’s not, it’s an us problem. You’re my girl, we’re in this together.” You look down, overwhelmed by how tender he was being with you despite the way you unloaded on him. “Why haven’t you told me about this before?”
You shrug, “I don’t know, it sounds kind of crazy when you think about it.”
“How?” He asked.
“Because, there are girls that would kill to be in my position, who would love to be spoiled and given all these extravagant gifts, and here I am complaining about it. I sound so ungrateful.” 
“Hey hey hey,” Harry holds your face in his hands. “You do not sound ungrateful.” He strokes your cheeks with his thumbs. “I love you, I love you so much and I give you all of these things because you deserve the world.”
“I love you too, but I don’t need all these things, the fancy dinners, the clothes, I just need you.”
He smiles softly at you, the adoration clear in his gaze. “I know angel, and that’s one of the things I love most about you. Your heart is so pure and good. I am so incredibly lucky that you have given it to me to hold, and I don’t ever want you to feel uncomfortable, especially not because of my actions.” 
“I know, and that’s part of the reason I didn’t tell you, I knew you’d feel bad. I don’t want you to feel bad about doing nice things for me.” 
“Tell me what I can do, how I can make you feel better.” He asked, willing to do anything to make you happy. 
You take a deep breath as you try to articulate your needs. “When I offer to pay for things, let me.”
Harry nods in agreement, pulling your face to his and kissing you softly. “Anything you want, love.” 
“And just because I say something is cute, doesn’t mean you have to buy it for me.” You add. 
“Got it,” he kisses you again. “But I can still spoil you sometimes, right?” 
“Sometimes,” you say in a subtle warning tone. “Just not all the time.”
Harry smiles, his brow arching mischievously. “How about I spoil you right now, and it won’t cost a cent.” 
Your breath catches in your throat at the implication of his words. “Sure, I guess I’d be okay with that.” 
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ghosty-writes-23 · 4 months
Text
Take Me Home To My Heart. - Ada Wong.
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!TAGS!: Lesbian relationship, Fluff, Happy Ending, NSFW Content, Sub!Ada, Dom!Fem!Reader, Rough, !CONSENT IS KEY!, Body worship, Fingering, Eating out, Choking, Doggy style, Strap on, Hair pulling, Aftercare.
Pairing: OOC!AdaWong + Fem!Reader.
Rating: Mature.
Summary: “Just Be A Good Girl, I Know You Can Take It.” Just when you thought your loving girlfriend Ada wasn't going to make it home for Valentines day, she surprises and you by coming home a few hours before midnight and you both spend the last remaining hours lost in each other in the heat of passion and even a little romance.
Word Count: 3.3k
Ghosty's Notes: Hello, I decided I wanted to publish something for Valentines Day but of course I get sick at the same time, so I thought it would be a smart idea to write 2 one-shots while I had the energy to do nothing, so I am sorry if these feel rushed or a poorly edited, I wrote these in 1 day and slept for the rest, once I am feeling better I will be working on a P.t 2 of his Precious Dollface for next month crossing my fingers and I hope you enjoy these two holiday themed one-shots about our favourite Agent and Super spy.
Thank you for all the support, it means alot❤️
-Ghosty❤️
Leon's Version.
----------
18+ Content // Minors DO NOT Interact // 18+ Content.
Sitting in your apartment living resting on the couch, you were alone with a glass half full of red wine, a spicy enemies to lovers novel in your lap but you had lost interest in it as you glanced at the small clock on the couch side table. Today was valentine's day and your love was away on a mission fighting god knows what but that didn't stop the sad sigh that left your lips as you felt a slight clench around your heart. 
When you saw all your friends posting online about there special valentines dates with their significant other, It made you want her to selfishly come home and spend valentine's day with you but that wasn’t possible, you weren't even sure if she was in the country at the moment, You understood her job and that there were times you wouldn’t see her for months on end, but there still doesn’t make the pain in your chest go away. 
Taking a sip out of your wine glass you place it back on the table as you placed your bookmark in your book before closing it then placing it on the table, you glanced up at the TV seeing a random show playing you had put it on so it wasn’t completely silent.
Grabbing the remote you decided to flick off the TV and head up to yours and Ada’s shared bedroom to try and get some sleep, lately you hadn’t been sleeping well getting off the couch you started walking upstairs when you heard what sounded like the front door unlocking as soon as the front door opened your feeling as if it was beating out of your chest. 
Ada walked through the door, her heels clicking on the hardwood floor, she was holding what looked like a small bag and a bottle of something, she looked exhausted but she gave you a small smile you could see the tension melt from her body as her eyes met yours, closing the front door behind her and placed her things on the small table beside the door.
“Your home.” you say softly as you were slightly shocked but over the moon that she was home alive and safe, soon you found yourself running over to her and hugging her tightly, you heard a soft noise leave her lips at the impact your body hit hers but she wrapped her arms around you just as quickly.
"I’m home.” she softly repeated what you said as she gave the top of your head a kiss, you pull away slightly and go on your tippy toes and softly kiss her lips were soft and warm against yours, you could taste her sweet lip balm and the scent of her perfume filling your senses making you feel truly relaxed to finally have your love home.
“I have a gift for you?” Ada says making you look at her with a raised eyebrow, moving away slightly she handed you a small bag, inside was a small box, opening the small box was 2 lockets with your favourite picture of you both and both your initials engraved on the back.
“When did you have time to do this?” you asked as you admired the piece of jewelry. “I got it done just before my last mission, I was going to give it to you then but I got called away early.” Ada says with a sad look on her face but you smiled up at her as you took one of the lockets out from the box. 
“This is so thoughtful.” you say looking up at your girlfriend who had a slight blush on her cheeks, they looked expensive and good quality. “So you can have a piece of me while I'm away on missions.” Ada says as she places a kiss on the top of your head then she grabs the locket from your hand and moves your hair before she clips it around your neck, the locket falling to the middle of your breasts. 
“I love you.” you heard her mumble as she placed a soft kiss on your shoulder, then another just under your ear. “I love you too princess, now why don’t we go upstairs and celebrate what little time we have left of valentines day?” you suggested as you felt her nibbling on your neck, causing you to giggle softly at the feeling, once she nodded her head and laced her fingers with yours you grabbed the bottle she had brought and led her upstairs to your guys shared bedroom. 
As you both walked up the stairs you both were locked in a heated and passionate kiss, your arms around her neck and legs around her waist she held you up by your thighs as she walked up the stairs and into your shared bedroom, once inside your bedroom she laid you on the big comfortable bed breaking the kiss you both were breathing heavily and there was a blush on both of your cheeks.
“Are you the dom tonight?” you asked in a teasing tone there was a sly grin on your face as well, it was a rare sight to see Ada wanting to take control in the bedroom. Usually she was your pillow princess, but it seemed a switch had flipped in her tonight. 
Ada nodded her head as her gloved hand went under your shirt, the cold leather causing a shiver to run through your body before she tugged your shirt up to where it was just covering your eyes like a blindfold, leaving you in just your panties since you didn’t feel like wearing a bra tonight, the air was slightly chilly but your body felt hot as all your other senses were heightened due to your sight being taken away. You felt Ada’s lips on your neck causing a soft noise to leave your lips as she started to trail kisses and soft nibbles down your neck to your chest. 
Her kisses were soft and gentle, almost teasing with how feather light they were as they travelled down your stomach to the top of your panties, your breathing had picked up slightly you wanted to touch her but you couldn’t as your t-shirt kept your arms in place above your head, but if you had to guess Ada had a smirk on her face. Her gloved hands made their way up your sides before she softly pinched your nipples causing a soft moan to leave your lips at the slight painful pleasure.
“You're teasing me.” you say as you found your hands softly gripping the pillow behind you so desperately wanted to see her you could feel your pussy clenching around nothing, soon there was the sound of material tearing and before you could ask Ada what was that, you felt her warm tongue on your heat collecting your slick and causing a soft whine to leave your lips as you bucked your hips. 
“Shit.” you cursed softly when you felt her roughly gripped your thighs, her gloved fingers digging in possibly leaving bruises but you didn’t care, she feasted on you as if you were her last meal her soft groans as she pulled you closer by your thighs, her tongue circling your clit before she softy sucked, you so desperately wanted to see her face you wanted to see the blush on her cheeks, the glossy and hazy in her eyes as her tongue was buried inside of you wanted to see her bruised lips. 
“Wanna see you.” you were able to breathe out in between your moans, you could feel your eyes rolling to the back of your head, soon your t-shirt was fully removed from you and you took in Ada’s appearance. Her inky black hair slightly messy with some stuck to her forehead, her lips were bruised slightly but wet with your slick, her eyes holding the look of lust but warmth causing your heart to skip a beat and your pussy to clench around nothing.
“Happy?” she asked as she bites one end of her gloved fingertips and pulls the glove off with her teeth before you felt two of her fingers run up and down your slit collecting your slick, You nodded your head finally being able to see your girlfriend.
She grinned at you before you felt her two fingers sink onto your gummy walls causing you to bite down on your bottom lip, she always knew where your sweet spots were as she curled her fingers causing your toes to curl slightly. “So wet princess.” Ada says with a teasing tone but all you could do was nod your head, it felt different being the bottom or the sub this time but it wasn’t an unwelcome feeling.
“Did you touch yourself while I was gone?” Ada asked as she placed a soft kiss on your cheek as if she was trying to be sweet while her fingers were skillfully knuckles deep in your pussy. 
“Yes, but it wasn’t the same, I couldn't finish.” you say bucking your hips slightly when her thumb started to rub your clit, you were close and she knew it you heard her softly chuckle as she kissed your neck no doubt leaving little love bites. “Couldn’t you come without me, your precious little princess.” she teases and you would have rolled your eyes at her comment if she didn't make you feel so good, she was being a brat and she knew it.
“Watch it sweetheart.” you warned her but you felt your eyes roll back when he curled her finger hitting your sweet spot more. “What are you going to do about it?” she grinned before she felt her gently nibbled on your ear, this was the final straw and you felt yourself cumming on her fingers. 
Once you finally got your breathing under control you knew what you needed to do, reaching over you carefully grabbed Ada by the back of the neck and kissed her deeply, you could taste yourself on her lips but that was the least of your worries, right now you needed to tam your little brat, softly biting her bottom lip you heard her softly moan she make act all bratty and naughty but deep down you knew she just wanted to be your good girl, breaking the kiss you trailed your lips up to her ear before softly biting the shell of it. 
“Go grab the box from the cupboard.” you whisper into her ear, as she got off the bed you decided to clean yourself and the bed up, soon Ada came back with the box and you couldn’t help but smirk because you knew what was in that box.
“Strip.” you asked, taking the box from her and placing it on the bed, there was a slight blush on her cheeks but she nodded her head and started to strip, you admired her body with all its curves and scars. To you she was the most beautiful woman you had ever seen and sometimes you felt as if you didn’t deserve her. When her red dress hit the floor you walked over to her and gently cupped her face before kissing her softly, you felt her melt against you as soft noise left her lips. 
When you pulled away a soft whine left her lips making you chuckle softly before you turned her around so she was facing the bed. “Since my princess is being a brat, i guess i have to make her my good girl now.” you say before you gently pushed her onto the bed she made a soft noise when she wet the bed before she turned her head and looked at you, passion, lust and love swimming in her dark eyes, she wanted this and you knew it. Opening the box you grabbed the strap on and the small bottle of lube, you didn’t want to hurt your girlfriend. 
You stepped into the harness and strapped it around your waist and thighs, it was Ada’s favourite it was the perfect size and curve it always left her a mess, walking over to her you grabbed her by the hip and pulled her up so now she was on her hands and knees, glancing down you could see how wet she was it was partially running down her thighs kneeling down you placed a soft kiss on her back and trailed kisses down her body even giving her ass a little bite before you ran your tongue up her folds from the back. 
Her taste makes your eyes roll back slightly feasting on your girlfriend was your favourite thing to do, you could stay for hours in between her legs if she would let you, but she gets too embarrassed especially when she squirts but that's a story for a different day, after having a little taste you felt Ada wiggle her hips showing she needed something more, grabbing the bottle of lube you reluctantly pulled away licking your lips and applied a small blob of the clear liquid, she was wet almost soaking but you wanted to be extra careful not to hurt her even if she thinks she will be okay.
Standing up you moved behind her and gently tapped the plastic strap against her pussy, Ada looked over her shoulder at you, her eyes where dazed her lips bitting slightly raw, she looked fucked out already and you hadn’t even touched her, placing a soft kiss on her shoulder you slowly slid in her a soft moan leaving her lips as she gripped the pillow underneath her, it had been a while since the last time you to where this intimate. 
“Are you ok?” you asked wanting to make sure she was ok, you placed gentle kisses around her neck and shoulder as you waited for her to adjust to the size, you could hear her take a few breaths before she nodded her head and gave you a small kind smile. “I’m ok you can move now.” she says giving you the greenlight, smiling you softly began to move your hips in small movements as you softly bit into the soft flesh of her neck causing whine like moans to leave her lips.
Once you knew she was comfortable, you thought this would be a good time to get some payback for her being a brat, you moved and gripped her hips and started to move your own hips quicker causing your thrusts to do deeper, this caused her moans to become louder as she gripped the pillows beneath her.
“Are you my brat or my good girl?” you asked as you thrust into her quickly your hands finding their way to her soft ink black hair and tugging on it slightly, when you didn’t get an answer you stopped your movements causing Ada to whine softly and begin moving her own hips, but you spanked her ass causing a hiss through her teeth. 
“I expect an answer princess, are you my brat or my good girl?” you asked in her ear before you softly bit her earlobe, you heard her suck in a breath when you trailed your hand around her neck and gave a soft squeeze. “I’m your good girl.” she says as you swear you could see hearts in her eyes showing you how fucked out she was, smiling softly you gave another squeeze ever so gently before you started moving your hips again, but this time you pulled her against your body, you could see a little bulge where the strap was in her stomach. 
“Are you going to cum for me?” you asked as you thrusted into her quickly and used your hand that wasn’t around her neck to rub her clit, you could see her eyes were rolling back and her moans were getting more high pitched. “Yes.” she choked out in between moans, her body was trembling. You could tell this was going to be a big one, moving so now she is laying flat on the bed, you used the last of your energy to get her to finish. 
“What do good girls ask when they want to cum?” you asked as you gripped the pillow just by her head, you could feel the burning in your thighs and your back, but you pushed those aside as you wanted to make your girlfriend feel good.
“Please can I cum?” she asks, looking as you desperately, sweat covered both your bodies and your hair stuck to your forehead, using the hand that was around her neck you used it to angle her head so you could kiss her. “Cum.” was all you said before kissing her, you swallowed her moans as you felt her body tremble as she came undone in your hands. 
Once her trembling started to calm down you gently pulled away and rested your forehead on hers a grin on both of your lips. “Happy Valentine's Day princess.” you say as you move some hair out of her face, she nuzzled into her hand breathing heavily. “Happy Valentine's Day.” Ada says with a gentle smile as she leaned forward and kissed you again.
Half An Hour Later
You and Ada laid together in your bathtub as you finally cleaned up after a couple more rounds, both of you were sore and tried but so glad to finally have each other back, the tub was decorated with candles and rose petals every on brand for the day, placing a gentle kiss on Ada’s shoulder you heard her hum softly as she sipped on a glass of the champagne she had brought for you both.
“I almost forgot your valentine's day gift.” you say when you remembered about the small box in your bedside table draw, moving out the tub you heard Ada whine as you tied your bath robe around yourself and softly kissed her head as she stayed in the tub.
Going back into your shared bedroom you grabbed the small box and took a deep breath, this could either go really good or really bad you were hoping for the first option, walking back into the bathroom you noticed Ada was resting against the side of the table, a dopey smile on her face that you rarely get to see only when she is really relaxed and comfortable, her ears perked up when she heard you enter the room with a small box in your hand. 
“I have something I want to ask you?” you say trying to hide the nerves in your voice, you didn’t know why you felt nerves it felt right you and her together forever but that still didn’t help the nerves, you saw Ada nod her head and slowly you kneeled down on one knee and opened the small box which contained a small diamond ring you knew she had been eyeing when you went out shopping together, you even got it custom sized and engraved.
“Will you marry me?” you asked her feeling as if a weight had been lifted off your shoulders, you could see Ada thinking about it. “Are you sure you want to be with somebody like me?” you heard her ask her voice was quiet and small not what you were expecting, reaching up you gently placed a hand on her cheek.
“I couldn’t picture my life with anybody else, I want you Ada and only you.” you say to her and you could swear you saw tears in her arms before she hugged you tightly, the position was a little awkward but you didn’t care.
“So is that a yes.” you asked against her neck, she nodded her head as you pulled away slightly and took the ring out of the box, it had “Forever & Always’ engraved in the band of the ring. “Perfect fit.” she says, admiring the ring. “Just like us.” you say causing her to roll her eyes but her smile warms your heart, you made the right decision you wanted to be with Ada forever and always.
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boydepartment · 5 months
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valentine’s day with enhypen
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a/n: yipppeeee this has been in my head for the past couple days :3 i am listening to true crime with my mom rn. i also! have been writing that valentine’s day heeseung fic :3
warnings: none- fluff!
4-5 bullet points per member
MASTERLIST
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🎀jungwon🎀
- jungwon was a little awkward for the thought of valentine’s day. he flirted with engenes a lot, probably too much! however… this was real
- he had to NEEDED to impress you. so the plan was set in stone, jungwon decided to pack a picnic for you both.
- you might be thinking, it’s february- it’s too cold! jungwon thought about this, and so he was prepared.
- he ended up renting a room in a super high building and set up your “picnic”
- you both had dinner by candle light while looking at the skyline, it was super romantic and jungwon definitely impressed you
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💋heeseung💋
- if you thought jungwon was nervous, heeseung was shitting his pants. i’ve always said this, heeseung is not how he is on stage- off stage. heeseung is such a loser (lovingly.)
- however… you are also a loser! (lovingly)
- heeseung decided to set up a game night with board games and video games. he bought alcohol, and a ton of fun snacks.
- you guys ended up cuddling and playing games all night, he held you in his arms and would constantly kiss your the back of your head or neck to distract you.
- you would end up roughhousing after accusing him of distracting you so he could win. all lovingly though.
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🌸jay🌸
- THIS MF WAS PREPARED. he has been waiting his whole life for this. he cooked everything himself, he bought the nicest alcohol he could, and he kicked everyone out of the dorm.
- you were excited too, you brought matching pajamas and he ate those up. jay was so excited to share the day of love with you. he was giggling when you weren’t looking.
- every gift he got you was expensive and thoughtful because he listens so well to you. your voice is jay’s favorite sound.
- prepared to get spoiled even when you guys are cuddling watching a movie.
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🌹jake🌹
- jake has never had a serious relationship nor was he prepared at all for valentine’s day. however he is a fantastic person when it comes to going with the flow
- valentine’s day is next week? oh no problem, he can get reservations for that restaurant you’ve been wanting to try.
- and he does! he is so lucky!!! now it was time for him to plan, his gifts are half homemade and an activity for you both to do after your walk home.
- he’s really romantic and has a hand on you the whole night, it makes him appreciate the holiday more. so the next year you are going to be MEGA spoiled. especially because you got him a collared shirt with your lipstick stain on it. that made him insane.
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🩷sunghoon🩷
- “oh…”
- that’s immediately what sunghoon said when he realized he actually has a valentine this year. HE HAD NEVER HAD A TRUE VALENTINE. immediately he starts researching.
- be prepared for the classic valentines. he makes cards for you out of paper, all handmade, and he slips jewelry you’ve wanted in each heart. then he puts all the hearts with jewelry in them in a new purse.
- he shows up to your house on valentine’s day with a smile on his face. you had completely forgotten about the holiday and it made him giggle. you promised to make it up to him and he just smiles with a simple “okay baby.”
- you’d never have to make it up to him, you dating him, and living him was enough.
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💌sunoo💌
- “WHAT DO I GET MY GF?”
- sunoo was stumped, he spoiled you 24/7 what was he supposed to buy you? he could get you that new skincare… or a new purse…? maybe new shoes. UGH! this was frustrating him…
- then it clicked to him. a destination valentine’s day.
- that’s how you found you and your boyfriend in new zealand for valentine’s day. he saw it was beautiful and there were fun little things to do, sunoo was all for it and so were you.
- you both took so many photos and enjoyed spending time alone together.
- sunoo even thought maybe you’d spend next valentine’s day here….
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🍓riki🍓
- he called his mom, begging her for help. she wasn’t a lot of help if he was being honest. but he refused to go to jake until the very last minute.
- jake was no help either! what was he supposed to do?!
- one day you walked in and confessed that he had to be prepared for his valentine’s day present because it was homemade and you were a little insecure over it. he felt his heart melt.
- he knew exactly what he had to do. he went to different jewelers and different shops to make you your own handmade bracelet. he made sure that it wasn’t too heavy so you wouldn’t have to take it off. he made sure that all the materials wouldn’t wear over time. he worked his ass off.
- when you guys exchanged gifts he was giggling, you had made him a bracelet too. he felt so connected with you. it was his first true valentine’s day and he loved it.
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signedeclipse · 1 year
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Signed with Love - Kamaboko Squad
What is this? - A valentines gift to my lovely fem!readers! Its valentines/love letters cards from your favourites <3
Characters - Genya | Inosuke | Kanao | Tanjiro | Zenitsu
Series Parts Upper Moons - HERE The Hashira - HERE
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Genya
To my other half, I know you already know what I want, so let's cut to the chase. On valentines we are going to that restaurant you like in your home town, please if you could just wear something comfortable, getting dressed up is pointless if you are uncomfortable. See you then, Genya Shinaguzawa
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Inosuke
HELLO QUEEN OF THE HILLS THERE IS A HOLIDAY AND I FEEL PRESSURED BY YOUR MENTIONS OF IT TO ASK YOU TO BE MY VALENTINE, SO YOU WILL BE. I AM INVITING YOU TO JOIN ME IN HUNTING, WHERE I WILL SLAY BEASTS FOR YOU AND WE WILL FEAST UPON THEM. YOURS TRULY, KING OF THE MOUNTAINS
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Kanao
Hello Dear, I would like to celebrate the valentines holiday with you as my valentine, if you'd like. We can do whatever you'd like, just write back to me what you have in mind and I'll be sure to have it planned and/or prepared. Please don't hold back; I'm sure I can figure anything out. Infinitely yours, Kanao
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Tanjiro
To the love of my life, Im sure you expect this by now, but I would really love for you to be my valentine again this year! It's highly likely ill be on mission that day, so rather than hoping I'll be home then I was wondering if you'd come with me for it! Spending time with you is more than enough to make valentine's special. I promise to keep you safe, and then you'll know what my work is like! I'm always thinking of you, Tanjiro Kamado
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Zenitsu
Hello to my lovely future-wife! Since a certain holiday is coming up, I wanted to let you know in advance that plans are already made and you don't have to worry about me forgetting a thing! I don't want you to have to worry about a single thing that day, I have the entire picnic set up and we can dress however formal you'd like!! Don't wear any jewelry, I'll have something to fill the void. Wishing I was with you right now, Zenitsu Agatsuma
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Authors Note - This is just a little something to thank everyone for supporting my writing! Im almost at 400 followers, and I never imaged I would get this far, thank you <3 More to come!
Disclaimer - All characters within have been aged up to at least 18 or older, and have been altered to reflect such change as needed.
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killthewhisperingart · 6 months
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Baby It's Cold Outside
Pairing: Bradley 'Rooster' Bradshaw x Reader
Word Count: 1,208
Summary: For the first few years of you and Bradley's relationship, a mission would pull him away right as the air started to chill. This typically would lead to you spending Christmas alone; not that you minded that is. But now it's the first Christmas you can spend together, and Bradley insists on making it as good as he possibly can.
This is a part of @sailor-aviator 's Christmas Writing Challenge, using the prompt "Eggnog"
Warning(s): Fluff and hints of Angst
I am an 18+ blog.
A/N: This is my first writing challenge
It was you and Bradley's first Christmas together. You had been dating for a few years, but every year he was conveniently placed on a mission during the holidays. You had never truly enjoyed the holidays regardless, and the two of you would celebrate a different way when he finally got home. In fact, it wasn't specific to the end of the year holidays. There were times when Valentines Day was celebrated two months later, birthdays celebrated six weeks in advance.
Knowing this was the first time the two of you would be celebrating Christmas together on the day, Bradley was excited. The house was decorated, the scent of cinnamon wafting through the air, only interrupted by the smell of the pine tree he had bought the day after Thanksgiving. A wreath hung on the door, and lights were perfectly placed on the outside of the house. You barely did anything, he insisted you relax.
Though, he did start to run into some issues. Issues you were absolutely not allowed to help with. First, the lights he had pulled from the attic, were duds, which he did not know until after he hung them on the Christmas tree. One trip to the store later, he comes home and drops an entire box of ornaments. It seemed like every venture, had a surprise for Bradley.
So now you're here, sitting atop the counter as Bradley stands in front of the stove. His phone is open to a webpage explaining an eggnog recipe, while your laptop is sitting to the side with a YouTube video of someone making eggnog. The ingredients are scattered across the counter, a bottle of rum half empty, and a carton of eggs with several cracked shells still remaining.
"Are you sure you know what you're doing?" You ask, peaking over at the mess in front of him. "That's... a lot of rum."
"Yes." He insists, turning to look at you, brows furrowed. "Don't you trust your man?"
"I trust my man to fly planes," You pull your lip up and raise an eyebrow at the thick concoction in front of him. "You don't even like eggnog, you can throw in the towel whenever you want."
"No." He rolls his eyes dramatically, tossing a sprinkle of nutmeg into the liquid.
It's not that you didn't trust Bradley in the kitchen. He had been living by himself for years and knew how to cook a decent meal long before you entered his life. Hell, you preferred him in the kitchen rather than yourself a majority of the time. But as you looked at the boiling pot, you started to question his abilities.
"See?" He turns the burner off, motioning towards the pot. "Now it just has to..." He leans down to squint at the phone, then turns with a smile. "Refrigerate overnight." He grins wide, eyes closed as he raises his arms, clearly expecting praise.
"Mmhm," You hop off the counter, kissing his cheek, and as his eyes open widely you're already standing over the stove. "Maybe I judged you too harshly-"
"You did." He hums.
"But, we won't really know until tomorrow." You spin around to look at him.
Christmas Day hit like a train. You slid out of bed earlier than what was typical for you, placing a soft kiss to Bradley's cheek before going about your morning routine. Coffee was replaced with a mug of hot cocoa as you tucked your legs beneath you on the couch, making sure you were the first to message, "Merry Christmas!" in your family's group chat.
You sigh, adjusting the throw blanket over yourself as a chill runs through your home. Your hands are warm as they're wrapped around your mug, the sound of Frank Sinatra echoing from the record player.
"Merry Christmas,"
You turn to look over your shoulder at Bradley as he comes from the direction of the kitchen, a mug in each hand. His hair is untamed and his sweatpants hanging low on his hips, as if he rolled out of bed to immediately search for you.
"Merry Christmas honey." You whisper back, leaning into the kiss he plants on your cheek. You put your hot cocoa on the coffee table, immediately accepting the mug of eggnog he deposits into your fingers. He sits close to you, moving your legs to sit atop his thighs. You clink your mugs, before both taking a sip of the homemade eggnog.
The liquid burns your tongue and feels like razors down your throat as you swallow. You try to hide your cringe as your nose scrunches, delivering Bradley a half baked smile. He is worse at hiding his distaste, immediately coughing, and spitting it back into the mug.
"It's good!" You admonish, chuckling as he wipes his hand from his moustache to his chin.
"Honey no it is not!" He scrunches his face, setting the mug on the table, forcefully taking yours and placing it next to his.
"No, baby it's the best eggnog I've ever had," You giggle, scooting closer, kissing his cheek.
"You're just saying that," He looks up at you through his eyelashes. His eyes shine, reflecting the light from the Christmas tree, his eyebrows are pinched slightly. "I'm sorry."
"For the eggnog?" You scoff with a chuckle, kissing his cheek. "I don't even like eggnog that much, it doesn't matter."
"It's not the eggnog." He sighs, leaning his head against your shoulder. "It's the lights, the ornaments, the ice on the porch-"
"Where is all of this coming from?" You interrupt softly, running a hand through his hair.
"It's our first Christmas." He reminds you, as if this makes everything obvious. You stare blankly at him for a moment, eyebrows knitted together as you silently ask for him to continue his thought. "And I keep ruining it."
"What?" You furrow your eyebrows, not understanding where this came from. "How are you ruining it?"
"I keep messing up."
You exhale, pulling him closer.
"I don't think you're ruining anything."
"Baby, I keep-"
"Bradley." You admonish, he lifts his head to look at you. "Do you know what I've done in these past few years, during Christmas?" He slowly shakes his head. "Nothing."
"Nothing?" He repeats incredulously.
"I haven't done a damn thing for Christmas since before we were even together." You admit, a bit sheepish. "It never felt right, to celebrate without you. So I never decorated, all I ever did was call my family. And I let you believe that I was just really quick at putting the decorations away."
"Honey-"
"I say this, not to make you feel bad, but," You exhale. "Honey. This is the best Christmas I've had in years. Because you're here." You hold his jaw in your hands, smiling as you stare into his warm eyes. His eyes flutter close, his lashes against his warm skin as you lean in, kissing him softly. "You have made this the best Christmas ever, because you are with me."
"Can't imagine being anywhere else..." He whispers against your cheek, his hot breath tickling your skin. "I miss you when I'm gone, and my mind is filled with you when I fly."
"I'm glad you're here." You smile.
"Merry Christmas."
"Merry Christmas, Bradley."
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heiayen · 1 month
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gently wipe the sorrow off my life, i dream scaramouche x gn!reader
summary: "you didn’t know what happened, why it happened and that was breaking your heart, cutting it open, leaving burning pain in your chest, where once flowers of love bloomed." you're surprised and completely heartbroken when your lover, kunikuzushi, suddenly disappears without a trace. you think it's the end of the world, with your heart open and bleeding but soon you discover, that there is still happiness waiting for you.
tags: based on the prompt "there’ll be happiness after you but there was happiness because of you", scara's real name used, modern au (from highschool to college), scara basically pulls an irminsul but why? blame dottore angst/bittersweet, [name] is very much going through it </3 title name taken from the honkai star rail song "if i can stop one heart from breaking". not proofread
notes: hi. i come back with angst! written for @thexianzhoujade's personal memoires event and truthfully i kinda hate this fic HAJAHS but this is fine i am not fine blah blah blah yippee. i forgot how to write scara so sorry if this fic is kinda ooc but yeahhh have fun enjoy !! <3 as if anyone is going to enjoy angst LMAO
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“Come on, it’s just one photo and besides, we barely have pictures of us…”
“...just one, fine. Get in here.”
A part of you wished you had taken more pictures with him. Pictures from dates in the blooming parks, from hangouts with your friends after school, from spending time together at his place, something to fill up the empty photo album you found hidden in your room. You filled only a few pages, with a few pictures of you and Kunikuzushi, of you taken by your friends, of your family during holidays, pictures of you and your friends, his friends, a picture of him you took when he didn’t see– the one you considered putting in your wallet, laughing how you’d look like a spouse missing their husband. 
(You counted exactly six photos of him in your album, compared to the twenty or so with others. Barely a quarter, not even a half, barely a page and a half of the album.)
You moved your fingers over one of them, the one you took after graduation– laughing with your friends, posing at the camera, tightly holding his hand, and tugging him closer, and wondered.
Did it have to end like this? If you only knew what was happening, would you somehow fix it in time?
Things were… nice, before. Being with him was nice, even if his personality sometimes made you tug at your hair in annoyance. But you found a common language and spoke in it till the very end, sharing your joy and sadness, annoyance and anger, silent tears and gentle fluttering in your chests. 
When you first met Kunikuzushi in school, you had your opinions about him– he wasn’t the nicest, wasn’t talking with many other students, and seemingly valued his time alone more than with someone. You understood it, some people simply weren’t the social butterflies but it became a problem when, by some unlucky charm (at least, you thought it was unlucky then), you ended up together to work on a project. You didn’t know him and your teacher decided to pair you by herself, saying how she wanted her students to interact more with each other. It seemed like a terrible idea at first.
(You rolled your eyes, giving a look to your friend. You really didn’t entertain this idea– to do a big project with someone other than your friend? You dealt with enough shitty groupmates leaving you on read or delivered in your life, and that was for small projects! What if you got someone as shitty as them? You shuddered at the thought alone.)
But, oh, how wrong you were. You didn’t expect to befriend that guy, and yet a few months in, Kunikuzushi became your best friend, and a year later– your lover. 
You remembered that love confession like yesterday; a little awkward, he jumbled over his words and you said something stupid in return, laughing awkwardly at yourself and almost getting up from that bench and marching back home. It was late, the bench in the park illuminated by the streetlight. A part of you was sure he planned for the confession to look different, yet whatever his ideal plan was, you wouldn’t exchange what you got for it. 
He walked you back home, you remembered, holding your hand.
To say you were happy was an understatement. Something bloomed in your chest with every day spent together with him, the little affections between you warming your heart and cheeks, and every morning seemed… a little brighter. It wasn’t wake up, get dressed, go to school, spend majority of your day studying, sleep, anymore.
Wake up, reply to Kunikuzushi’s late night message he sent. Get dressed and don’t forget about that chain necklace with a pendant he gave you for your birthday (you were matching, of course you were matching). Go to school and spend the day with your friends, with Kunikuzushi, with his friends (although you weren’t sure if that ginger guy was really his friend, but…). Spend the rest of your day studying, texting, and sometimes hanging out if you had free time (which turned into weekly hangouts with all your friends and… sometimes, more than once a week, just you and Kunikuzushi). Text him goodnight and smile at his, although short, reply back. Sleep. 
You hoped it would stay like this… for longer. For as long as possible, just living in this bliss, being happy and not alone, with people you loved and who loved you back, some even more than others.
(Selfishly, you wanted that to last forever. Forever the high school student with no worries other than passing exams and doing your homework on time. Forever with your friends, spending weekends with them, having fun and not caring about anything else. Was it selfish to want to be happy forever?)
Kunikuzushi was here with you for all your problems, even if, truthfully, he wasn’t the best at solving them, and neither he was good at words. But he was still here, offering you support and letting you talk about what annoyed you, what made you sad and sometimes, he still would try to comfort you, loudly agreeing with your complaints, (lovingly) threatening to beat someone up if they were an asshole to you, telling you to not worry. It wasn’t the end yet. 
His presence alone helped you manage through harder days– it was better to be with someone after all, rather than spend your days wallowing in sadness alone, with only the walls willing to listen. 
(You offered him help, too. Quietly sitting and listening to his rants about his mother, squeezing his hand and tugging him closer to you– or simply being next to him, when touch was something unwanted.)
When graduation came, in bittersweet tears you promised your friends (and Kunikuzushi, of course) to still be in touch with them, and never leave them alone just because you weren’t students from the same class anymore. That didn’t change anything, no.
The summer vacation you spent mostly with your friends, hanging out and enjoying the warm, summer weather. So many trips, so many walks with Kunikuzushi and dates– oh, that picnic you two went on one day… it started raining at one point (the weather reports lied to you, it seemed) and you only had a blanket to cover yourself from the rain. How funny it was, how much you wished you could get the chance to do it again, with him–
You sighed, closing the album. Sometime before the summer’s end, right before the start of college, you noticed… changes in Kunikuzushi’s behavior. He still was your lover, caring about you in his own ways, he still was the man you loved, but something seemed to always bug him. Something seemed to sit on his shoulders, heavy. You always asked him if he was okay because yes, yes, you noticed his worse mood, noticed all the little things he tried to hide and you were worried, really worried, and–
And yet, you never got a proper answer. Always to not worry, that nothing was wrong, and you were tired of that, maybe if you, at least this once, pressed him for answers, during that summer night you called a date–
Maybe you would know why he suddenly disappeared without a trace.
The many messages you sent, the many unanswered calls– you asked your friends around, his friends, and were greeted with radio silence in answer. You didn’t know what happened, why it happened and that was breaking your heart, cutting it open, leaving burning pain in your chest, where once flowers of love bloomed.
(These flowers would never truly burn, you feared. Some would still leave, polluting your heart and making it harder to breathe.)
What was once beautiful turned into a burden, far too heavy to carry alone. There was so much stress on your plate– because what if something happened to him? What if someone did something to him, what if there was something you could do to change it? Why were you so distracted throughout the day? Why was it hard to get up in the morning, why the only thing you wanted to do was to wait at your phone, with hopes of seeing at least a single message from him? Where went your motivation to study, to do well in college as you promised yourself?
Where was he? What happened? Could you change it?
Were you at fault?
(No, of course you weren’t. You did everything in your power, but it just wasn’t enough. None of this was your fault.)
Were you alone in it?
…no, you weren’t. It felt like you were, especially at first; with new people around you, your friends offering you support but ultimately being busy, you felt alone. Terribly so, loneliness gnawing at your soul all the time, leaving the icy cold feeling in its wake. 
But life forced you to get up from that pit, whether you wanted that or not. You couldn’t fail your major, not when you worked so hard to get into it in the first place. And neither you wanted to completely cut off your friends, so you started replying to their texts more. You’ve met new people, too, and made new friendships.
Things were getting back on track after, you thought that they wouldn’t. You pulled yourself up with your own strength, with your friends cheering for you from the distance, their cheers putting a smile on your face. 
(Younger you thought that if you ever were to break up with Kunikuzushi, the world would simply… end. You ignored that thought creeping into your mind, waved it away, pushed it deep at the bottom of your mind. It wouldn’t happen.)
Now, as you looked at the pictures, you still felt a sharp pang in your chest. You missed him, yes, and you still thought about the days you spent together with him, but they no longer brought you back into that darkness you once experienced.
They were a bittersweet memory now. Ones, you would cherish till the end, gently putting them on the shelf with new, happy memories. 
You hummed to yourself in thought, tapping at the cover of the album with your nail. Maybe instead of pondering how you should take more photos of the past, maybe you should take more of the future? Fill the album up with new photos of yourself, your friends, random things that you found pretty and worth remembering. 
Your phone threw you out of the thinking, the loud noise of the ringtone filling up the room. Right, you were supposed to meet up with your friends in an hour and here you were, going through your old stuff and procrastinating the shower. 
You put the album away and picked up your phone. A smile tugged at your lips hearing the overjoyed voice of your friend, telling you how excited they are to meet with you again (your last hangout was two weeks ago!) and that they already left.
You looked back at the album.
With today, you’d start filling it up with new memories of your happiness.
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theysaidhush · 19 days
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Dear Christopher,
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-> Pairing: Ex!Bang Chan x Reader
-> You write a letter to Chan one year after he breaks up with you, asking questions you wish you had answers to before he left.
-> heavy angst, bit of smut
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I thought love was everything I needed. You said it was everything we needed. I believed it. Truly did. Because even if everyone likes you, even if I am everyone, everyone is not me. They don't get to see you when waking up, they don't get to touch your face like I wish I did, don't get to hold your hand or look into your eyes when we were dinning - that, I wish I did too. I'm just realizing that I might as well be just everyone, don't you think so too?
"I will love you, to the moon and back."
Was your trip to the moon too short that it did not last long? Was trying to reach out for the stars too tiring? It wasn't even what I asked for...
I met you on a sunny day, remember? I bet you do, because as much as I want you not to, so I can blame you, I know you do. You're just like that, so perfect that it's actually hard for me to write this letter. I want to point at your flaws and scream and screech at that blank, virgin piece of paper. But I can't. It holds too much meaning to me. I still have it. Why do I still have it? Ah, seriously...
So yeah, we met on a sunny day. I think it was holidays? At least for you. Those are rare aren't they? You were nobody, walking down the street. No holy glow, no charming or alluring walk. Just you, your cap and your way too baggy black clothes. I wasn't sucked it, did not look twice at that strange man covered like a person would if walking in Netherlands. And you came to me and told me a weird pick up line with that accent of yours that made me think about what you said twice just because I couldn't comprehend it. I wouldn't have answered if it wasn't for your giggle. You were giggling. Giggling for God's sake. What man giggles in 2022? But you sucked me in, just like that. With those charming dimples. Suddenly, the ocean wasn't enough to quench my thirst, no weight was heavy enough to hold me down and no colors was enough to paint you and picture you just like you were that day. It was so overwhelming I wish I hadn't met you, that day. I was a blushing mess (I still am when recalling that scene), my hands were sweaty and I was feeling dizzy. How dare you sounding so pretty? Because yeah, you made me realize that a sound could be pretty too. I fell in love for the first time in my life. I fell when I met you.
We met later. You were late. I did not think much about it. I am not one to care for those kind of things. Still am. How could I known it was a telltale sign? How would I known? You asked me questions about myself. You were the first to actually make me feel like an interesting person. Is it fool? I don't know. But I loved telling you about my life. You always hear, you always listen. I love that about you. I could have told you about how I saw an ant carrying another ant, how funny I thought it was, and you could have laughed like you were here to witness it, like it was actually funny. I could have told you about this really sad movie that I watched a few days prior and you could have scrunched your face and furrow your eyebrows as if you were trying not to cry. I could have told you about that stain on my table that I just can't clean and your fingers would have itched to do it for me. I fell in love a second time. I fell when I got to know you.
And then you left. I appreciated spending time with you. I appreciated the way you asked me if you could hold my hand. Just by that I could tell that your mother was a lovely and respectable person. I appreciated the way you were always trying to find something to do. I did not care about that suffocating thing covering half your face.
"I wanna see you do plenty of things so that I can know what you like and what you doesn't. I wanna get to know you when you are surprised, sad, happy, delighted. I wanna fell in love with every facet of your personality." you said. Was what you found not attractive enough? Was it not enough to keep you entertained, Chan?
Then you told me you had to leave. I hoped it wasn't just a summer fling. But you asked for my number, and we talked even after you left. Even in my sleep I was thrilled about waking up and reading your text in the morning, can you believe that? Who gave you the right to take my heart hostage and to care for it? Your texts were sweet, your voice in our weekly phone calls sweeter. And those pictures of landscapes even more. Got me thinking about how I wanted to be by your side. How I wanted to watch this sunset with you, how I wanted to hold your hand and kiss you until I can't breathe.
We never kissed. I regret that. I despise that. But maybe it is because we weren't meant to. And yet, in the darkest of night I was thinking about how I wanted to be next to you. How I wanted some warmth, some love. How I wanted to trace your body with my tongue. How I wanted to hold your hands while I'm making love to you. For the first time in my life I was horny. I wanted you to fill me up, to caress and to touch. I wanted to feel your fingertips on my body, to feel you fingers in my private part, to hear your whispers in my ears as you are delicately rocking my body. For the first time in my life I was a stranger in my own body. Touching and trying to please myself just like you would do if you were there. How funny, I'm sounding like a perv.
But you slowly started to disappear. Photos getting blurry. Texts getting shorter. Phone calls getting rare. Affection being yearned for.
And then you told me that you could no longer be with me. And that's when I fell in love for the third time. I fell because I realized how our one year relationship meant to me. You took everything with you. After that, the sun rays were burning flames, the smell of coffee was suffocating, the laughs of people was defeating, my thoughts were deadly.
You got me thinking about me. About I could would have be if I never met you. A happier version of myself. Confident and proud. But instead, you got me thinking about what was wrong about me. Was I not enough? Were my quirks and habits too weird? Was my voice and my laugh repulsing? Was my body disgusting? You got me dreading looking at my reflection, you got me dreading meeting new people. What if they didn't like me? What if I was not interesting enough? What if I was too loud? too obnoxious? too silent? too shy? too quiet? to weird? too ugly? too clingy? too distant? too mean? too nice? What if I was me? What if they didn't like me?
And I hate myself for saying this, because this is not all your fault. I was insecure before meeting you. But you gave me a taste of self-confidence, and it was like drug, addicting. But it was a you thing. The way you made me feel like we were on top of the world. You took it with you. I don't know how to go back to my old self.
I hope that one day I will heal feel again. But for the moment I will try.
It's been a year now. I still love you. I'll never love someone like I loved you. But you'll never love me like you love music. And I respect that. I only found out a few months after our break up that you were a world wide star. Mask and cap be damned, your voice is one that I can't forget. I think I understand now. Why you left. And again, I respect that.
I love you. We could have talked about it
I love you. If only you had told me
I love you. I'm sorry you didn't feel loved enough to tell me about your job
I love you, I wish you just told me why you left
I'm sorry. I should have try harder.
But maybe I was just that. Maybe I was just everybody. I'll try to forget because I genuinely wants to see you happy. Maybe one day I'll thank you for helping me growing up as a person. Maybe one day I'll tell about my first love to my friends. Maybe one day I'll write you another letter and write:
"And one day, your name didn't make me smile anymore."
To Bang Christopher Chan
From A Baby-Stray Stay
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Missouri was my home, and I can’t go back because I’m trans.
Before the rest, I want to clarify: I do not get my hrt through a Missouri healthcare provider. This will not impact my medical transition, and I am so very lucky to not have to worry about that. Many, many transgender people living in Missouri do not have that luxury. However, I am hurt, and I am scared. I was not intending to move back to Missouri, because I am a lot happier where I am now. However, I’m very scared about the precedent that this sets. Missouri is the first state to pass legislation that restricts access to medical transition not only for minors, but for ADULTS. I would be very surprised if this was where their anti trans legislation stopped. Based on how they seem to be leading the charge against transgender rights in this regard, it seems very likely to me that within the next few years, trans peoples rights to public spaces in Missouri will be legally restricted. If this happens, I will not be able to visit about half of my family members.
The rest of this post is me coming to terms with that.
I flew to my home city, St. Louis Missouri for Pesach recently. I was so excited to spend the holiday with my family. Several members of my family were unable to get off work/school on the actual holiday, so I flew home on Easter weekend and we had our Seder on Easter. This is because in the USA, Easter and Christmas are federal holidays that get automatic off days, unlike Jewish holidays. The Seder happened at my grandma’s house and my entire extended family was invited, as is our family tradition. I had a lovely weekend with my family.
While I was visiting, I stayed in my grandparents house. Growing up I spent nearly every weekend there. My grandparents have always done their best to make me feel at home there. I have countless memories at that house of Shabbat with my grandma, playing games with my cousins and sister, climbing the big tree in the backyard, play dates with friends, doing all sorts of arts and crafts projects with my grandma, teaching myself to use a sewing machine on the living room floor, playing d&d in the basement, and big extended family gatherings for every Pesach, Rosh Hashanah, and Yom Kippur every year. It is one of the places that makes me feel the safest out of any place on earth. I would consider it my backup home. And as always, our Passover Seder was amazing.
This trip home coincided with my parents selling the house I lived in until I was 18. This has been in the works for a long time, so it did not come as a surprise to me. Even so, both my grandma and grandpa reassured me repeatedly throughout the weekend that I would always have a home at their house. That I could always come back, to visit or stay as long as I need. That this place would always be my home.
One of the things I did while I was staying there was make sure I had copies of all of the family records that my grandma had saved. Things like family trees, Ellis Island immigration records, death certificates, writings of long deceased relatives. I want to preserve as much of our family history as I can, because too much Jewish history has been destroyed by those who hate us. I already knew that my family has lived in the same city in Missouri practically since they immigrated, I think it’s something like 4 generations. Looking through these documents and reading things the previous generation of my family has written was fascinating and deeply moving to me. It cemented in my mind the fact that my family history is completely intertwined with the St. Louis Jewish community.
And of course, the synagogue I belonged to growing up is in Missouri. Where I spent the high holy days, where I was bat mitzvah’d, where I went to hebrew school every week. My Hebrew school teachers. My rabbis. I’ll be visiting it soon for my cousins Bat Mitzvah, and I’m hoping I might get a chance the day after to sit and talk with my rabbis. I feel like I need to say goodbye to them.
I can’t go back to any of these things. It has taken me a long time to write this post because this is so painful for me. I love my family so very dearly, and I have a big family. My cousins were like extra siblings to me growing up, I’m close with all of my second cousins and their partners and kids, my aunts and uncles, my great aunts and uncles, and my great grandparents when they were alive. I don’t go back to St Louis for the city, I go back for them. My grandparents have lived in St. Louis for their entire lives, and they aren’t going to move. Nor do I want them to have to, they’re so happy there. They have carved out a very comfortable and safe place for their family and friends. It’s just not a place I will be welcomed in for much longer, and that is out of our control. They will travel to visit me once in a while, but I know that me not being able to visit Missouri would drastically cut down on the time I can spend with them. And realistically, they are getting old. I don’t know how much longer cross country travel will be safe and feasible for them.
My family took a long time to get on board with my transition, largely because they were lied to by politicians and mental health “professionals” who were unqualified to treat transgender patients. I don’t want to spend too much time talking about that. To me what matters is that they unconditionally support me as a trans man now, and even though they were misinformed and said and did things that hurt me, they have always loved me. And they have made an incredible and effective effort to not only apologize for the harm they caused, but to change the way they treated me in order to express that love. My grandpa, previously the most old fashioned, socially conservative, and transphobic member of my family, will now call me to say things like “the other day this meshuggenah tried to tell me trans people are dangerous, I told him my grandson is transgender and to shut the fuck up. You shoulda seen the look on his face.” My grandma and mom both flew across the country with me to help me prepare for and recover from my top surgery. I could not have asked for better people to care for me post op.
Despite how supportive they are now, it’s only fairly recently that I’ve repaired my relationship with my family enough to enjoy spending long periods of time with them. It is still hard for me to talk to certain family members because I am trans. But the last few trips home have been the first times in a long time I have had a wonderful time with my family, which is something I missed and needed for so long.
I think that is going to be taken away again very soon. And it’s being pushed by the very same people who lied to my family and drove a wedge between us in the first place. This time it is out of our control.
To say I’m heartbroken would be an understatement. It’s hard for me to even conceptualize the concept that my ability to see my family is being slowly taken from me by the Christian zealots in our government. It feels like just now that I’ve been fully accepted and embraced, I’m being forced out again. And once again, it is under the guise of protecting people like me. They expect me to believe that this is for my own good. That all of the bullying and abuse and dysphoria I was forced to endure for my entire childhood was for my own good, because g-d forbid I be transgender and happy.
I had to move across the country to escape unsafe living conditions caused by white Anglo Saxon Christians, and now I’m uncertain of my ability to visit the family members I left behind. Ironically, this is a very Jewish experience. I imagine this is a much smaller version of the pain my ancestors felt when they immigrated to America and left their family behind in Russia and Poland. In a way, this experience connects me to my Jewish heritage in a profoundly painful way.
This was a long and rambly post. I’m just hurting a lot right now, and I needed to talk. Thank you to anyone who read this far.
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