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strwbrythoughts · 6 days

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time's up | dr. veritas ratio

The doctor - also known as your husband - has come to refine your problem-solving skills, particularly in mathematics.

A/N: This man is insufferable but I simp because smart + muscles = hot!!! Also can you see me projecting onto this and wdym i don't like triangles, ngl i accidentally switched to first person pov at the ending 💀 this is why i need to find time to write in my busy busy schedule

Divider by @/osqrie

"You have 15 minutes to solve these questions. You may begin."

The soft click of the digital stopwatch in his right hand sounded louder than ever to your ears. Your eyes went from his soft, smiling face - which in itself, was a rarity - towards the questions printed on the single sheet of white, A4-sized paper on your desk. They were all mathematics equations. Every single one was an integration-related question.

You always thought that you could escape the topics you didn't like after finishing your studies in the undergraduate level. Life had been pretty smooth-sailing after graduation; you opened a cute and cozy bakery, you married a genius, lived in a comfortable home, have and maintain a loving relationship...but this. This was the least of what you would expect. Being tutored and tested on the one subject you refused to take back in university.

Or perhaps it was your mistake when you told him your weak points in the academic aspect of yourself. That was a side effect of marrying a genius, you supposed...or a 'Mundanite' as he would use to refer to himself.

But you couldn't think of that now. You had a test to complete, and you didn't want to receive his punishment for not being able to do so within the given timeframe. His eyes could be felt on you, as if burning into your body and directly gazing at the very essence of your soul. The rise in your heartbeat and downturned gaze highlighted how nervous you felt to answer this paper.

After taking a deep breath to clear your head, you observed the questions carefully. There were 3 questions, and all of them were pretty easy to solve (or at least, that was what the instructions said). The first two questions were fine; only including polynomials and exponents respectively. As you got to the third question though...you couldn't say it was 'fine'.

It included one of your most disliked topics...trigonometry.

Granted, the trigonometry was pretty simple, but you never seemed to be able to wrap your head around how so many formulas could be derived from them. When Veritas explained it to you in one of your tutoring sessions, you asked for more breaks than usual since you had put a barrier in your mind; 'I will never understand this'; which in turn, made the topic seemed harder than it actually was.

The soft 'ding!' of the bell on my desk reminded you that you had five minutes left for this last question. You gulped, hoping your nervousness would be swallowed away as well. His eyes were glued to the back of your head; not that you dared to look behind my shoulder at the moment.

Every second counts after all, even if you had no clue what steps you should take to solve the problem on the paper.

Your brain seemed to malfunction and your memorisation skills failed you right this moment. You didn't remember the basic formulas, and you didn't know how to derive them from the triangles either. With no viable options left, you decided to unleash your expertise; cooking up your own theories.

'Ah, he's definitely punishing me for this...' was the only thought floating in your brain. Autopilot mode was switched on, and your hand glided across the paper, writing down whatever nonsense that seemed to be related to trigonometry, regardless whether they were correct or not.

The digital stopwatch in Veritas' hand had reached its last minute; the fifteenth minute. "Time's up," his voice bounced off the white walls right into your ears. "Put down your pen and stop writing."

Although reluctant, you did not wish for a heavier punishment. His words were followed by the sound of the pen being put onto the wooden desk. Within seconds, he was stood right next to your desk, using his index finger and thumb to pick up the piece of paper.

His eyes scanned my answers, going from left to right as he inspected each line of working. There was a faint smile on his lips...until it was gone.

Gulp.

He had definitely seen the absolute mess you made on the last question.

A slam onto the wooden desk; you swore you heard the wood crack a little bit. "Did I not teach you this last question?" You could barely reply. His tone was dripping with condescension, but you didn't take offence from it. Both you and him knew he had the right intentions, but his ways wouldn't be able to satisfy everyone.

"You did! I...I just didn't like it."

Veritas let out a 'tsk' thrice, seeming almost animated as he did so. "You do know what you have to do now, right? So come on, what are you waiting for? Is time not ticking?" He took a seat on his chair, eyes looking straight into mine.

You sighed, preparing your facial muscles...as you climbed into his lap. Ah yes, the 'one hundred kisses or you're not leaving this room' punishment. A classic, really. Your lips peppered his face, landing on each part like the first snow of winter; gentle and heartwarming.

"Lunchtime is nearing, so you better carry out your responsibility quickly and dutifully, dear. You'd hate to have lunch at 4 PM again, hm?"

Ah, crap! He was right! Better get to work now!

Thank you for reading!

#berry writes #honkai star rail #honkai star rail x reader #star rail #star rail x reader #dr ratio #dr ratio x reader #veritas ratio #veritas ratio x reader #hsr veritas

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makingspiritualityreal · 5 months

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12th House - Saturnian Slowness

Planets in the 12th house will naturally have Saturnian characteristics, as Saturn is the Karaka for the 12th House. As a result, if we have natal planets in the 12th house, these areas of our lives will develop extremely slowly. In these areas, we will feel like we are behind the average of our age group, even if the average doesn't mean anything spectacular. Sometimes it's circumstantial, sometimes, it's our understanding of it, mostly it's a mix of both. Naturally, the planet and the sign involved will determine what takes the most time to grow.

Sun in the 12th House - Will be slow to understand their impact in the world. Will be slow to understand what they are building through their actions. Will be slow to build up integrity and accountability for what their behavior caused and will have many regrets as a result. Will be slow to get their affairs in order. Will be slow to appreciate themselves. Will be slow to understand they have a place in this world, no matter how small.

Moon in the 12th House - Will be slow to simply understand oneself. Will be slow to know how they truly feel in the moment. Will be slow in ability to have spontaneous reactions. Will be slow to develop an ego. Will be slow to connect to a life on this Earth. Will take Earthly experiences for granted, and derive wisdom from them slowly.

Mars in the 12th House - Slow to defend their interest and protect their territory. May let a lot of people step over them in early life. Slow to learn how to say no. Slow to learn their dislikes, even slower to express them. Slow to communicate their opinion, because they don't realise what they stand for. Will miss out on a lot of opportunities to make a stand as a result, because they don't understand their own beliefs, and they're slow in forming opinions.

Mercury in the 12th House - Slow to make friends and connections. Slow to develop their intellect, even slower to appreciate it. Slow learning process, may be behind with their knowledge of basic facts. Slow but persistent skill learning. Slow to learn a variety of objective perspectives, as intellectual narrowness was prominent in household. Slow to learn how to discuss using objectivity. Slow to learn how to enter into profitable exchanges, or even if they are in one, they don't understand what they are gaining and giving. Often only appreciate exchanges once they leave their life.

Venus in the 12th House - A good position, as it takes time in life to develop comfort and build solid relationships. Will be slow to have a good social circle, but it will be a quality one. Will have delayed romantic experiences. Will delay their own pleasure and gratification for the best moment, which is why this is a strong placement. Will delay sexual encounters, and avoid unnecessary ones as a result.

Jupiter in the 12th House - Slow to understand a general perspective of the world due to lack of opportunity, that makes their early experience narrow. Was forced to grow in a small minded environment and not given chances to travel and broaden the mind. They become very wise as they grow up, however, being self taught and having a very broad and diverse perspective. Ultimately, the world opens up to them gradually, at its own pace. Slow to believe in the hand of the divine in their life, because it takes so long for everything to finally pay off and make sense for them. Feelings of genuine inspiration and faith are slow to appear and be proven, but solid once discovered.

Saturn in the 12th House - Its natural position, because it embodies a gradual, patient approach to growing up itself. Simply put, the native understands growing up takes time. That makes for a very smooth transition from childhood into adulthood (if no afflictions) and the person is able to grow up and make their mark on the world very naturally without feeling like they need to rush it. They also have amazing precision with their goals and the tenacity to build them up over time.

Rahu in the 12th House - Will be very slow to break out of their comfort zone. If there is a planet attached, it will be greatly delayed, as the North Node brings anxiety of the unknown. Will have a great delay in being able to follow their desires. Will be timid in having an approach that is unfamiliar to them, but most conducive to their growth. An extremely stubborn an impatient person, a walking contradiction that wants to grow but doesn't. They need to be pushed very far to surrender to change, but they are slow to do that too.

Ketu in the 12th House - Another comfortable positions, as they are able to completely surrender to the flow of time. Slowness of life doesn't phase them at all, as they allow it to proceed at its own time, while they pursue the opposite in Rahu instead. The definition of "let go and let God", subconsciously, as they believe things will take care of themselves while they pursue more practical goals. The flaw here is being extremely slow in developing a deeper philosophy of spirituality and analysis. They miss out on more significant conclusions regarding what happened in their life until a very late age, and may accidentally miss out on something deeply important to them as a result, while they were chasing something completely else.

#12th house #astrology #astro notes #astro observations #astrology notes #astrology observations

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yuck-pfaugh · 2 years

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Note: I'm writing this only because I haven't seen anyone else touch on these specific points. I'm not Māori, so my understanding may be mistaken; if so I would be very grateful for correction and elaboration from tangata whenua. (And I've only read Nona once so far, and we all know that's a scratch upon the surface of it.)

Tazmuir has received fandom flack for saying in interviews that Gideon and Harrow are both Māori without mentioning it in the text — which understandably reminds sf/f readers of a certain other author's tendency to dispose of the difficult bits outside the actual work. I think it is clear by now that the reason it wasn't dealt with explicitly earlier on is that Tazmuir sticks religiously (ahem) to the flawed and limited knowledge of her point-of-view characters, and in the Nine Houses they have no concept of pre-Resurrection races and ethnicities, because Jod has not allowed them knowledge of any world but his. (Besides, explaining Gideon's lineage in a Doylist aside would have been rather tricky without revealing, before their proper time in the narrative, juicy details about Jod himself.)

My prediction is that we will find out Anastasia was also Māori. Maybe, probably, from the same iwi as Jod and/or G1deon.

Which makes Harrow, her last descendent, Māori as well.

No matter how many generations separate them. No matter how much other blood.

"Mixed Māori" or "[percentage] Māori" is kind of a pākehā concept. The more important question is, do you whakapapa? Do you know who you are? Do you know where you come from? All it takes is one verified ancestor and you're in the club, no matter how long it's been or what brand of egg carton your skin looks like on the book cover. I think Harrow is descended not just from a line of Tomb-keepers but a line of kaitiaki, guardians of the land, who through Anastasia's private pact with Alecto are sworn to protect her — Papatūānuku, the earth mother born from salt water — and who have been holding on for ten thousand years to right Jod's wrongs. We know salt water is sacred to the line of the Ninth House; we know that Alecto was called "the saltwater creature"; we know that it's Nona's natural element, which calms and renews her; all this links Alecto/Earth specifically with Māori creation myths, more than any others. And we know that preserving the ancient bloodline of the Ninth, Anastasia's bloodline, in Harrow's own improbable and desperately yearned-for person (that Alecto can recognise at a taste), was the goal Pelleamena and Priamhark pursued at the cost of the Ninth House's entire future.

Yes, this series is portraying an indigenous man as the destroyer of Earth. We know that Earth chose him as her saviour and he betrayed her, imprisoned her, set himself up as master of an empire that was her antithesis, then imprisoned her again — arguably worse sins for someone who was born into that special relationship with the land, whom the Earth loved and trusted so much and still loves even now because love past understanding is her gift.

But here's the answer to that. Here's his opposite number. Harrow, who fell in love at first sight with the Earth, who found in that love her reason and her drive to continue living and to hold to her goals through intolerable trauma, who has a unique combination of bloodline and genius and Jod-and-Alecto-derived power (through her Lyctorhood with Kiriona Gaia, wherever that ends up going) with which to fulfill this sacred pact entered into by her tipuna Anastasia.

Harrow being Māori is not a trendy convenient afterthought. It's an integral point.

Harrow knows who she is. She knows where she comes from. She knows where she's going: Hell itself, to get to the bottom of all this shit. So I think we will be hearing more along these lines.

#the locked tomb #nona the ninth #anastasia the first #anastasia the ninth #harrow too #ntn spoilers #nona spoilers #nona the ninth spoilers #acid jail for john #because that is my tag for john

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bessiejoan · 6 months

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Astrology: Venus and pleasure

When we struggle with or disconnect from Venus, we are not able to enjoy and find pleasure. When Venus is operating in its integrity, this is some of what we experience:

Venus Aries/Mars - ability to enjoy hard, physical work or exercise. They enjoy independence and getting something done. They find excitement and challenges pleasurable.

Venus Taurus - the ability to derive and create pleasure through food, cooking, decor, and objects. Extra sensitive to textures. The ability to make the environment multi-sensory. Venus finds beauty in the act of creation.

Venus Gemini/Mercury - the ability to enjoy poetry, writing, art, and music. They find conversations pleasurable and can be fun for others to talk to.

Venus Caner/Moon - the ability to find enjoyment in their mum or motherhood. They feel the joy of being safe at home. They are extra sensitive to softness. At their best, they find listening to and following their intuition pleasurable.

Venus Leo/Sun - the ability to love the limelight and being the centre of attention. The way others love them can also bring them extra attention in public. They are proud of what they love.

Venus Virgo - they can find enjoyment in looking after themselves and others. They find pleasure is experiencing their health improve. They find pleasure in order and symmetry.

Venus Libra - the ability to find pleasure in shared experiences, in communicating with another, and in an exchange of love. They find joy in justice prevailing and equality. The ability to find beauty in others to equal degree in which they find it in themselves. Relationships are an art form that they continue to learn from.

Venus Scorpio/Pluto - ability to enjoy pain, control, money, hurt. Satisfaction from total dedication and loyalty. At their best, they can find pleasure in transformation and rawness.

Venus Sagittarius/Jupiter - ability to enjoy learning and teaching others. Venus well aspected and appropriately used is moral and honest. When venus operates truthfully here, it is humble because it loves its teachers. The ability to have fun at parties and events.

Venus in Capricorn/Saturn - the ability to find pleasure in hard work, control, and leadership positions. The ability to enjoy the slow process. At their best, being respected and respecting others is pleasure.

Venus in Aquarius/Uranus - the ability to enjoy destruction and change. They find beauty in rebels, punks, and outsiders. They find joy in breaking social norms and shocking conservatives.

Venus in Pisces/Neptune - the ability to find pleasure in drugs and alcohol. When Venus is well aspected here and operating well, it does not need to go to excess. Rather, it can experience intense pleasure through smaller amounts of drugs and alcohol. It is also the ability to find pleasure in spirituality. They find beauty in the mystic and magical. Venus finds limininal places pleasurable.

#astrology #witchblr #astro observations #astroblr #scorpio #pisces #aries #venus #taurus #libra #frida kahlo #pleasure

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svndaysaweek · 1 year

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e^(iπ)+1=0 — {Feat. Minnie}

1.3k words

A/N: I've been studying math so hard that I came up with this... I don't know if all readers can understand this, so I recommend googling the inclined terms(which are mathematical ones). Also know that e^(iπ)+1=0 is the most beautiful formula in mathematics,,

p.s: Why is eˣ okay but e^(iπ)+1=0 not? Tumblr mysteries..

Tags: Math(?), Choking, Creampie, Loving Sex

******

Minnie is like the eˣ function to you. The way her consistency fills up your heart—eˣ differentiated is still eˣ—, her always positive character—its domain is always positive number—, her out-of-this-world beauty—e^(iπ)+1=0—, and–

The way her back forms an exponential arc in front of you.

"F-fuck,"

On her knees Minnie is taking your pounding, with her entire body. Her back arcs upward to meet you face to face, as she turns her head back to you and into a blissful kiss.

You draw the sin x graph with your tongue inside her mouth. Up and down, up and down, corresponding to her tongue that draws a cos x graph, intertwined with yours completely—but following the exact same period of 2π.

You push her down to the mattress, and now you can see the hyperbolic curve of her waist. You grab on the narrow valley of it and continue pounding.

What you are doing to Minnie is distorting the perfectness of her body, although it's your way of worshiping it. The circular dark orbs in her elliptical eyes disappear into her head.

You choke her from behind. The amount of air getting in her lungs converges to zero, while the pleasure diverges to infinity.

Her fingers dig into the mattress as you pace up. You feel her walls pulse like sin x. Instant grips and loosenings of her pussy indicate that she is now close. You contribute the last drop of your patience for her orgasm—the maximum, when the derivative of her pleasure hits the X axis.

"I'm cummi–"

Minnie cums with a scream silenced by your grip around her neck. You for a moment regret restraining her voice, but no. You can just make her cum again, again, and again.

You flip her around to face you and resume the race. The race of which finish line you all are aware of obviously.

You kiss her again, this time drawing infinity with your tongue. It of course doesn't mean that it'll last forever, but you feel like it lasts as long as eternity itself. Rather, it would mean the neverending high you two are sharing right now.

Integral. Integrity. You and Minnie in bed together can't be counted as two. Undivided pleasure travels your connected, shared body. No boundaries are found between you and Minnie as you are pulled into a tight hug by her. You can feel how smooth her skin is, how soft her breasts are like it's your body—forget about the breasts, maybe.

Actually, it sounds quite right because it is your body—it's been so long since you lost count how many times you two told each other "You're mine,". Minnie moaning beneath you is yours. Yours to savor, yours to please, yours only to love.

Yes, yours only, and vice versa. You two are bijective functions. Each of your factors matches each of hers, without duplicity.

Again, you're hers only. Minnie is here, taking your cock to define you, to differentiate you, to integrate you. Minnie is moaning underneath your body, to be your proof, to be your solution, to be your answer.

"Are you close, babe?"

You were just about to say that you were, but you are so predictable a problem—Minnie knows the exact formulae to use when dealing with you.

"I am,"

Go ahead, she eyes you. You crook your neck to nibble on her ear and whisper,

"I fucking love you, Minnie,"

The moment you cum inside her, you are sent out of this world. The real world means nothing to you. Imaginary sensations feel more real than the real ones. Like you're feeling the i itself—the imaginary number.

1×1=1. You and Minnie just can't get separated. When it comes to you two, it's not the concept of addition or subtraction. You two love each other so it's 1×1=1. When you two are away from each other, you're still one, because 1÷1=1. Being 2 means you and Minnie are two 1s, which makes you two different individuals—right now, and of course always, you'd disprove that proudly.

You already came about half a minute ago, but you don't pull out. You see Minnie's heaving back and it's perfectly symmetrical—her erector muscles being the perfect axis for it.

It's an even function —f(x)=f(-x)— that you get visual, psychological satisfaction from. That way you could split her perfectly into two halves.

Your hands softly rub on her back. She still is in the middle of recovery, as you can feel her bumping heartbeats on your palm.

"Y-you feel so warm, baby,"

Minnie slightly lifts her limp head from the bed and murmurs with such a low tone. You then pull out and lie down next to her. Turning your body to her side you brush her hair behind her ears. She looks at you and gives you a satisfied, satisfying smile that could literally melt anything, everything.

Minnie's hand comes up to touch your face and–

It hits your still hard dick and she looks at it.

"Wanna go for another round?"

Minnie asks you, sitting up and getting on your thighs. It's a question with only one answer, it's another function that defines you two—a constant function, no matter what she says your answer is yes, undeniably.

Minnie grabs it, strokes it softly, and you feel your lust being recharged. Seems like she doesn't even look for your answer, anyway.

"Holy–"

You're inside her. Right after insertion Minnie starts to ride you out fast. You can only gasp at the feeling of her already-fucked inside, which is what you do every fucking time. Minnie kneeling, each of her knees are next to your both sides as she waves her hip and waist on you.

"Ah, fuck… You can last longer, right?"

She again asks you a question, locking fingers with you. Just like before, your answer is undoubtedly yes. Minnie then brings your hands to her lower waist and leans down forward, completely relying her weight on you. She lets your head into her embrace and whispers into your ear.

"Warm me up again, baby."

Your hands go down to grab on her hips and you begin fucking her upward with pace. As soon as your thrusts start to fuck your previous cum deeper into her womanhood, she moans beautifully into your ear.

Her arms tighten around your head, but the only tightness you can recognize is that of what's around your cock. She nibbles on your ear. Hot breaths tickle your ear, and her teeth on it motivates you to go even faster, rougher, and harsher. That's what loving sex is to her, and of course, to you too.

Your right hand detaches from her ass and gets on the back of her head. Minnie then lifts her head slightly up to fall into a dirty kiss. This time, you review the whole session beforehand.

You are drawing sin x, cos x, and infinity randomly with your tongue. Her back begins to arc exponentially, so you strengthen your hand on her head to keep her body tangent to yours. Your fingers on her ass rubs on her another hole, to make her pleasure diverge to infinity.

And everything you're doing earns her uncontrolled scream of ecstasy, as if she's trying to make an auditory definition of orgasm.

She again closes in to lock lips with you, and soon she cums. On your still-moving cock she cums hard, and in your mouth she lets the orgasmic sound out. It travels through your body fast, reverberates in your skull, sending you over the edge in no time.

You push deep into her for the last time before violently cumming inside her again.

It's explosive, you would term it. Minnie's entire body reacts to every spurt you shoot inside her.

"Holy fuck…"

You let out a sigh of words.

"Baby, that was…"

On top of her lungs she says, only to pause for breathing.

That was awesome, yeah. You know that, because you feel just like her too.

You look into her eyes, and find the excellence itself, the perfect, absolute beauty—e^(iπ)+1=0 .

#kpop male reader #kpop x male reader #kpop smut #minnie smut #gidle smut

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our-lady-of-haymakers · 8 months

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Watching IFTV and it's really fascinating to see the way Claire's attempts at bullying bounce off Rei's thirst because once you get past the comedy of "Joke's on you, I'm into that shit", there's this persistent and perhaps even radical subersiveness to their whole dynamic, which lies precisely in the sense that it gets to act as a dynamic?

Claire's bullying is often an attempt by her to mobilize the apparatus of noble hegemony upon those she sees as undeserving and inferior, an act of humiliation in which she exposes and "corrects" what she perceives to be an irregularity in the hierarchy and therefore derives purpose by upsetting the position of another, a (dis)placement that draws upon the aspects of the public execution, the symbolic decapitation of a reputation, to re-enact and re-establish aristocratic authority in the theatre of classes and ideas that is the academy.

When Rei responds to this not by defending herself in terms of the dubious categories of essence or ability that have propped up this profoundly unequal society, but by doubling down on the theatricality of the ritual humiliation, by embracing its exhibitionistic aspects and transforming it into a heightened platform for the declaration of her queer identity, she accordingly elevates her queerness by its encounter with a hegemonic power that it refuses to be categorised or stereotyped by, and indeed subsumes the thrust of Claire's inquisitions and degradations into her gleefully transgressive play of performances (doubly relevant given that she knows she's in a game), attaining freedom through stock characters, writing herself and Claire into a complexity not afforded to them by the original text by flipping the script.

While Claire attempts to bring the abstract and lofty ideology of the aristocracy, the hyper-public common sense of inequality that is enshrined in law and culture, into the arena of public interaction, hoping to make an example out of Rei, to make an upsetting reality conform to the script she's been schooled in, Rei moves in the opposite direction, and brings the private into the public, politicising the otherwise concealed, downplayed or ritualised matter of sexuality and attraction into daily life where it cannot be ignored. While Claire strives to strip away what she sees as false pretensions to expose the true essence of people underneath, believing that it shall confirm the differences she's been raised to believe are inherent in the classes, Rei turns these attempts at revelation into a symbolic eternal striptease, revealing always another layer, another exposure that turns back on the one who hungers to strip away, turning their desire into a dependency, a "not yet" that lets Rei set the world to her own timepiece.

As such, Rei integrates at one stroke the fact that she loves women and the fact that Claire loves aristocracy, yoking the two into a similar level of political importance, the genius of which is that it works two ways. On the one hand, it renders Claire's bullying and class violence an act of seeming kinkiness and indulgence rather than the sacred duty of the chosen few, an "Oh my, not here, darling, you're so demanding today!" in which Claire is framed as a dommy queen going to great lengths to maintain the roleplay, an actor who clearly likes her bit in this French-nobility-themed drama a bit too much, hamstringing entirely any authority she might demand outside the context of the bedroom. On the other, by putting forth the perspective that all the ritualism and pomp of aristocracy is just that- rich kids playing dress-up and not at all the solemn proceedings of the gifted elite, Rei also strikes a symbolic blow against the cult of nobility, puncturing the gravitas with which they appoint themselves protagonists in politics, and exposing in her invocation of roles the possibility also that these roles might change, that any day now the next set of domineering and imperious rulers might not be of noble birth at all, and the day after the troupe may put on a different production entirely, forgetting in their fun all this now-outdated talk about empires and princes.

While Claire is of course initially incensed and disturbed by this, given that Rei challenges and erodes the entire purpose of her identity-affirming tactics of bullying and challenging usurpers, making her wonder if she is truly entitled to any grander obedience and special status at all, these ideas of fluidity and performativity might also represent for her a chance at change and escape, a route out of the crumbling palaces of a decaying royalty. If she is not in fact essentially and transcendentally the daughter of a noble house, then she also needs not act like one, and could be anyone she pleases and be with anyone she's pleased by. Rei's queerness therefore represents a challenge and threat to the entire system she is housed and mantled in, but also offers her a path to happiness as a person, a right to joy and love that is freely given to all who live and needs no grounding in nobility- indeed, it is only by the destruction of her mythos and iconography, that terrifying and liberating act of blasphemy, that she can become human and therefore go on to become a freak, the making-by-breaking that is promised by the queer revolution, a transcendent transsexuality, a metamorphosis that makes all reality into the cocoon that it shall soar free of, feeding-as-needing, desire as production and a new genesis.

In short, I Favour the Villainess boldly asserts that loudly loving evil women is a vital step in the revolution, and that's such an important message. "I Can Fix Her" as "I Can Create a World Where She's Just a Travesty and not a Tragedy". Wanting so badly to give a bitch head that you rescue hers from the guillotine. "My favorite Girlfailure was Marie Antoinette". Simply an excellent premise.

#i favor the villainess #watashi no oshi wa akuyaku reijou #i'm in love with the villainess #yuri

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the-whispers-of-death · 2 months

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The Beginning

The Beginning, Part 1 of The Middle, Part 2 of The Middle, Part 3 of The Middle A/N: This a Simon "Ghost" Riley x Reader series, but neither Simon nor Ghost is used in this part to refer to him. He is referred to Life, while Reader is Death. Both of them have they/them pronouns used (for now) to refer to them but that will change in later parts (at least in Ghost's case). Think of this as a prologue.

When the universe was just starting, two powerful souls emerged from what every celestial being calls The Ether. These two souls were the originals, every celestial being having come from these two. They were both the blueprints, the first beings to ever grace the universe.

One of these souls was bright, credited with being the creator of all things, Life. Their soul was bright because they were the sun, the light in which everything thrived under them. Every deity of rebirth, creation, and other similar realms of power derived from this soul.

The other soul was dark and shadowy, credited with guiding the dead to where their resting place was, Death. They were the moon and the night sky, beautiful but not exactly beloved like the sun. Every deity of death and the dead derived from them, following their footsteps in helping dead souls be soothed.

These two souls, though opposites in terms of realm of power, weren't enemies. They were one being split into two souls, each doing their part to keep the balance of the universe.

Life created the realms of living with the help of deities of creation and rebirth, creating both the mortal realm, Earth, and the heavenly realms where deities resided. Though they did create life, they also ensured that for every life that was created, one would die as to not overcrowd any realms. They used their powers to guide the soul into Death's hands, ensuring certain circumstances happened.

Death created the realms of the dead with the help of deities of death, painstakingly created the afterlives and the systems that helped it all run smoothly. Not only did they transport dead souls to where their respective afterlife was, they ensured the realms of the dead were well-guarded. There was very rarely a dead soul who was permitted to be reborn and Death made sure no soul tried to make its way back to the realms of the living, thus throwing the balance of the universe off.

Together, they spent aeons watching and helping the universe thrive. Side by side, they became close, their relationship being something they never put a label on. They knew they were both integral to the universe, that it all ran smoothly when they worked together, but they didn't quite know that being two halves didn't just mean they had to work together.

They were meant to be together, platonically and romantically.

Soulmates.

Reblogs are welcomed & appreciated! Asks are open, feel free to pop in and talk or request something! (SFW requests only, please and thank you)

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midnightfox450 · 4 months

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I think I'm finally ready to elaborate on my conclusions from my last post about Figayda & Fig's warlock power source.

I think it's pretty obvious that Fig's conversation with Ms. Sool in episode 4 is meant to remind us of Ayda and implicate her as a source of Fig's powers. The specific use of the word "paramour", the talk of contracts, the similarities to Figayda's last conversation in fhsy, etc. Plus I don't think they would modify one of Fig's warlock spells to be Ayda-themed just for flavor.

BUT!!! I don't think it's quite as simple as "Fig's patron is Ayda". Fig's relationship with Ayda could be a source of some of her powers, yes, but I don't think it is the only source, nor do I think Fig has fully deified Ayda herself (if that makes sense).

Ayda being Fig's "patron" would imply a power imbalance that seems a little intense for high school girlfriends and isn't what I think Brennan & Emily are going for. I think the bond between Fig and Ayda acts almost as a generator, creating magical energy that is mutually uplifting and beneficial to both.

The beauty of Figayda is that both girls have become more self-confident now, but not because they define their self-worth by their appeal to the other. They put in the work to be good people to each other, and in turn, realize that they are already good people just the way they are. Ayda "gets" as much out of their relationship as Fig does (whether that manifests mechanically as warlock magic on her end, we don't know).

And there's a lot of stuff around Fig's warlock magic that isn't Ayda-related at all. The bad luck & dairy stuff is clearly Gilear. The stomach stuff could be indigestion (Gilear) but could ALSO be insatiability (Gorthalax, the one source we already know she gets warlock powers from). And I'm betting (hoping) we see some possibly Sandra Lynn-related hints in the future. I also find it interesting that Brennan specifically mentions the fact that Fig, being an archdevil, could source some powers from herself.

I don't think Fig has "a warlock patron", in the sense that there is one deity she intentionally made a pact with. I think she derives her powers from the bonds she has with all of her loved ones. Fig likes to think of herself as a closed-off loner, but in reality, she loves other people so intensely. She also has a habit of adopting other people's traits (her disguises).

Like Ms. Sool said, relationships are a series of contracts, conscious or not. Fig has made many promises to Ayda, Gilear, Gorthalax, etc., and they have made many promises to her back. I think Fig shows her love and commitment to others by integrating them into herself and using that love as a source of her magic.

#figayda #figueroth faeth #ayda aguefort #zara sool #fantasy high meta #fantasy high theory #fhjy theory #fhjy spoilers #fantasy high spoilers #dimension 20 #fantasy high #fantasy high junior year #d20 #fh #fhjy #fig faeth #figayda meta #fig faeth meta #ayda aguefort meta

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heartylunalys · 1 year

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My lord

Prince Hal x black princess!reader

a/n: I’m back and I’m happy to show you this fic that I couldn’t wait to post, I wanted it to be a one shot but I thing I’ll make a 2nd part, tell me what you think about it! Sorry if the language is not perfect I’m not English so it was hard to find the perfect words for the situation

my masterlist

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genre: fluff, smut

words : 3k

warnings: smut !! slight racism( not from Hal!) slight misogynistic (not from Hal!), a little god complex lol, Hal and reader being fast at acknowledging their feelings

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You glared at your father, seeing him bow in front of the England King who was looking down at the two of you, clearly waiting for you to show some type of courtesy.

“Excuse me for the behaviour of my daughter, she is young and foolish.” your father explained to the man in front of you and a scoff escaped him.

“Being young is not an excuse, my youngest son, Thomas of Lancaster, is a respectful and obedient child.” He smirked in the direction of his son, looking at him with pride. “You should educate your daughter Sir, if she keeps this attitude no sane man would want to marry her.”

You maintained your calm and fought yourself to not roll your eyes at him and his stupid son.

“It's a pleasure to finally work with people from overseas.” The king of England said with a condescending attitude, clearly looking down on your father and his kingdom. Your father didn’t even bother to tell him that he wasn’t a representative of all overseas, he was a calm and wise man, knowing that you shouldn’t bother to be angry at fools. You, on the other hand, didn’t have his patience and as the time flew you only wanted to slap this petty king in the face and go back to your country where people had a lot more manners.

——

You were sitting at the banquet, clearly uncomfortable, everything was so different from your ways.

“You’re beautiful,” began the young son of Henry IV, sitting right next to you, “We never see people like you around here.” He stated and with his smile you understood that it was supposed to be a compliment. You nodded with a polite smile as the boy kept glancing at you throughout the night, trying each time to find a reason to talk to you.

“Well, look who decided to show up.” Exclaimed the King bitterly. Everyone turned their head to the majestic wooden entrance door, seeing a young slightly curly haired man, standing there, confidence but also annoyance and strength radiating off him. “Seems like my fool of an heir has decided to show up for once. What is bringing you here?”

“Your invitation father.” The man blankly stated as he sat at your table and you now had the occasion to look at the integrality of his features. Even if his hair was slightly long you could still see his defined jaw and cheekbone. He had a tired gaze, with dark circles decorating his greenish eyes and even if you knew that it wasn’t decent, you couldn’t help but let your eyes travel to his neck and collarbone, seeing the dark marks dotting his skin. The prince seemed to have decided to abandon all of his duties to enjoy the various pleasures of the common people.

“I’m glad you finally decided to leave the mud and prostitutes.” Henry IV muttered to his son who didn’t answer, only the way his jaw clenched indicated that he had heard his father’s remark.

Finally, after what seemed an eternity for you, Thomas left your side to go dance with some duchess, which left you the time to breathe a little bit. Thomas was a gentleman, representing perfectly how a prince should behave, but he was smothering you. Most of the guests were dancing so the table you were sitting at was almost empty. As you scanned the room, your eyes catched the eyes of the oldest King’s son who was already watching you. You quickly derived your gaze, hoping he wouldn’t mind you. However, the man saw this exchange as a good moment to approach you and before you even knew it he was now sitting in front of you.

“I’m sorry to intrude like this,” he began, his low voice pleasing your ears, “I know I never come in this castle but I’m sure I’ve never seen you before.” His eyes were lingering on your every feature.

“It’s because it’s my first time coming here Sir.” You said and watched a little smile forming on his face.

“Well, what a pleasure to meet you Lady..?” He let his voice trail, waiting patiently for your name while he took your hand gracefully in his.

“Y/n.” You answered, your breath was slightly cut off by the tender kiss he laid on the back of your hand.

“Lady Y/n, I’m Hal.” He smiled, his eyes almost felines and you just nodded, his hand not letting yours go. You found it odd to see that he wasn’t bragging about his title, all of the people you met here were obsessed by their nobility.

“If you allow me, Sir, I’d like to retire and go get some rest.” You asked even if you planned to leave no matter the answer he gave you.

“Of course beautiful, sleep well.” He playfully said and you refrained from laughing which made him smile.

Your room was spacious, and well decorated. A guard had escorted you and a maid was staying near in case you needed any help. That, plus the pretty prince you had the chance to meet was making you relativize on this little stay. As you hopped in the bath the maid had prepared for you, you couldn’t stop your mind from thinking about the mysterious prince that brightened up the annoying banquet. Thinking about the softness of his hand around yours, you let your hand travel slowly to your core, taking your time to caress your chest and thighs before finally letting your fingers play with your clit, imaginating that it was his long and delicate fingers. You let out a soft sigh at the memory of his delightful mouth on your flesh and wondered how his lips will feel in all these inappropriate places of your body.

After your relief you wrap yourself in your towel, using all these foreign products to oil your body before finally putting on your night clothes.

The next morning the maid woke you up by pulling the curtains to let daylight enter your room. The warmness in the room was enjoyable but you wish you could stay a bit more in your sheets.

“The prince of Wales requests your presence, your Highness.” The maid sweetly said as she served your tea before preparing your clothes for the day.

“Where should I meet him?” You asked without even taking in the fact that it was perhaps inappropriate to meet the prince alone in what seems to be a private meeting.

“He’s waiting for you behind your door, he asked me to demand your permission to come in.” You couldn’t believe how this man was, he really didn’t care about etiquette did he?

“Then tell him to come in.” At your words she opened the door, revealing Hal who wasn’t even dressed up for the day. He seemed so normal that you almost forgot the formalities.

“You can leave us.” You sweetly said to your maid as she slightly bowed before leaving. Hal immediately jumped on the occasion to approach you as you were sitting on your bed watching him.

“I couldn’t stop thinking about you, you were clouding my dream.” He announced with a sultry voice, “my Lady, you are all I have ever sought, and if having you means accepting my noble life, the tasks and obligations that go with it, then I will. I’ll do it just to carry you on the throne and to call you my queen. I’ll do it to be able to make love to you every day passionately, to see you bear my heirs. I know it’s indecent, I know it’s not how we’re supposed to do it, I should demand your hand to your father and I promise I will. Love me Lady Y/n, please, I’ve done a lot of things that someone like me shouldn’t have done but I will abandon it all for you, for your love. I don’t care what the people will think about us, I don’t care what the kingdom will think. The only thing I can care about right now is you and the immense crave for your affection I have. Love me, let me take care of you like you deserve it, let me be your lover, even your worshipper if it means I’ll have even a little fragment of your attention. I know we just met but I’ve never felt this way for anyone before.”

The curly haired boy was panting, and so were you. It was all so sudden but horribly delicious. His hands had found yours during his speech and your nails were now scratching softly his skin as your eyes glossed on the way his lips were slightly quivering or his hands were shaky or even how his eyes were full of hope and a glint of passion was drowned in them.

“Sir…” your voice was so small, you even had difficulty hearing yourself, “This is so wrong, so wrong on so many levels.” His face dropped at your words. “At the same time it’s so delightful to hear you say all of that out loud-” Before you could add anything else his soft lips were on yours, moving slowly, lovingly. His tongue was playing with your bottom lips and the sweet sounds of your whimpers and slight moans could be heard. Your voice was making the prince completely wild, now sucking and biting your bottom lip to hear more of it. His hand was now on your thigh, his hand grabbing your dress to the point where his knuckles were now white. You took his hand in yours, slipping it gently under your dress, making him sigh of pleasure at the touch of the softness of your skin. He gently separated his lips from yours as you admired the now plump and rosy aspect of them.

“Let me have you.” His voice was almost begging you and you were ready to give yourself to him but a shy knock at the door stopped the magic of the moment.

“Come in.” You frustratedly said and immediately wandered off of Hal, fixing your dress as he looked everywhere but at his brother accompanied by guards. Thomas cleared his throat in embarrassment and confusion, not understanding why his older brother was in your room, on your bed.

“Lady Y/n, I was wondering if you’ll be pleased to go on a walk with me, I could show you the castle.” Thomas gently asked, watching his brother weirdly from time to time.

“Oh…” You discreetly eyed Hal, seeing the way his jaw clenched and his dark gaze was fixated on his younger brother. “I… Yes Sir Thomas,it would be my pleasure.” You said reluctantly, your nobility showing. Hal stepped out of the room, anger clearly radiating from him as he purposely bumped into his brother.

—

“Was my brother bothering you in your room? If it’s the case you can tell me, I’ll make sure that it doesn't happen anymore, he has no manners or respect.” Thomas stated as he was slowly walking with you through the castle.

“Not at all, he was just making sure I had everything I needed.” You lied and the prince next to you attentively watched your side.

“You shouldn’t be involved with him, he has damaged our name by his many scandals, he is not a man of good faith. I wouldn’t want him to tarnish your name with his inappropriate behaviour.” You quickly understood that Thomas was suspecting his brother to want to have sex with you, and even if you wanted it, the fact that he noticed that embarassed you.

“I don’t think your older brother is capable of such a thing.” You immediately answered and the boy scoffed

“He is reputed in all the country for his many mistresses. Initially he was the heir of my father but with how he abandoned our kingdom to his now life of debauchery, I have a chance to become Henry V.” He proudly announced and you politely smiled at him even though you didn’t care about what he was saying.

“You should give a little more credit to your older brother my Lord, I’m sure he has his own reasons to act the way he does.” You gently said and Thomas reluctantly nodded.

——

You asked to receive your dinner in your room even if it surely offended the King that you didn’t sit at the table to eat with him and his other subjects. You were too tired to speak or act like you cared about the King’s life and decided that eating alone was the best solution to not be rude to anyone around the table and disrespect them.

As you finished eating, you looked at yourself in the mirror, eyeing every jewellery that decorated your body. Some of them had just been gifted to you by the youngest prince of England and you couldn’t help but think it was a way of courting you and you didn’t like that.

You didn’t even hear the door of your room opening before feeling Prince Hal’s hands on your waist, admiring you in the mirror with loving eyes.

“How did you manage to enter my room?” You asked, smiling at him and he returned it immediately.

“Even if I’m not appreciated in this castle I’m still the prince.” You slightly laughed and Hal’s hand toyed your new necklace. “Is this a present?” He softly asked before you enveloped his hand with your.

“A present from your brother.” You simply answered and Hal scoffed before delicately taking off the necklace of your body. Before you could say anything a beautiful gold necklace replaced the old one and Hal laid a gentle kiss on your neck.

“So much more beautiful.” He proudly whispered as he turned you around, his hands on your waist, admiring you like you were some sort of goddess that he wasn’t even sure he could touch.

“Thank you Hal.” You shyly smiled.

“Are we finally giving up on manners?” You nodded before wrapping your arms around his neck and saw the way he smirked while looking at your figure.

“Please, don’t make me regret this.” You simply stated, your eyes lost in his with a loving stare.

“I was craving to see you tonight at the table, you’re the only reason I stay at this castle you know” a little smile decorated his lips

“ I can neither understand nor bear English manners, no offence” Hal simply nodded before taking your hand in his.

“Myself, cannot bear English manners.” Hearing your laugh, Hal looked attentively at you, admiring the woman who stole his heart so fast. “My lover, my beautiful lover, your beauty is almost painful.” His hand was now on your cheek, watching your loving eyes.

“You’re flattering me.” You said as your fingers found their way to his curls.

“I would never be, I would never lie to you my dear. The words you hear right now are the words of a man in love.”

“And the look you’re getting now is the look of a woman in love” you lovingly said and Hal gently pressed his lips on yours, kissing you tenderly, showing all his love to you.

Your hands were now on his neck as your lips moved perfectly in sync. It was so bad but felt so good. You knew that If anyone saw you like that you would be dishonoured but the idea of getting caught only made you more aroused.

“Hal,” you whimpered as his lips traveled from your mouth to your throat. He shushed you as he smiled against your skin, biting it softly but retaining himself to mark you.

“God I can’t wait to be married to you so I can show the entire world that you’re mine, I’ll show everyone what a filthy good girl you are to your King.” Hal whispered in your ear and seeing him like that was making you completely question your virtue and if it was even as necessary as people made you think.

“I thought from your behavior that you didn’t want to be King.” You managed to let out and Hal chuckled.

“How can I make you queen, my queen, if I don’t accept my obligations as an heir to become the King?” He playfully asked and stopped his kisses and before you could protest he simply locked the door. “Let me please you.” He lustfully said, waiting for your approval before guiding you to the luxurious bed of the room. Your nightgown wasn’t covering anything and Hal’s eyes were immediately captured by the view of your hardening nipples. His imposant hand captured your breast, massaging it softly, loving the soft sound you were making from such a little action.

“May I?” He asked his other hand ready to slip under your dress.

“Please my King” you moaned and his hand touched the wet patch of your undergarments. His fingers danced on your cunt, teasing you to hear you beg.

“What do you want?” His sultry voice asked, a playful smile on his face, clearly loving torturing you.

“I want you to touch me.” You said and he made an unapproving sound.

“Aren’t you supposed to beg for your king to please you?” His emerald eyes were now piercing your skin.

“Please, your Highness, I’m begging you, I need release, I’m begging you to please me.” The words escaped your lips with difficulty from how your mind was fogged with desire.

“Such a good girl, a good whore for her Lord.” It was easy to spot the double meaning of his sentence, he seemed to be like his brother said “not a man of faith” and you liked it.

“I’ll always be a good whore for my Lord.” You said, looking at him through your lashes and felt his fingers finally move, touching perfectly your bundle of pleasure, toying it, caressing it exactly like you needed.

“Let me taste you” he told you in his desperate tone and when you nodded he licked your folds, tasting you like he always wanted to. He was hungry, hungry for you as he passionately kissed your cunt, acting like your moan was some sort of drug keeping him going.

“I need more, please”.

He playfully humed. “What more do you need?”

“I need you to fill me up” Hal chuckled before entering one of his slender fingers in you.

“More, more, please” you begged him, wetness pooling between your thighs as his mischievous smile was on your clit. A second finger found your pussy before he began pumping in and out perfectly. His mouth was always sending shivers down your spine as he licked you so greatly.

With his other hand he was palming himself,needing desperately the relief, you were making him crazy and his dick was too hard, he needed to fuck his own hand, moaning and groaning against your cunt.

“My Lord…” you moaned as you felt your high wash over you. At this moment you saw the way his hips were moving even more desperately as he came with you, moaning the name of the woman that seemed to have bewitched him.

“God I’m in love with you” he said after laying next to you, caressing softly your cheeks as you tried to come down from you high. “Let me marry you.”

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a/n: like, comments and reblogs are always appreciated! :)

I’m taking requests! Check the rules first

I created this blog to allow black girls to feel more comfortable with reading x reader, as a black person I saw how much we weren’t really represented in the fanfic community

Tag list: @timotheel0ver @track0526 @s-we-e-t-t-ea t-ea @thebetawolfgirl

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This is my work, please don’t repost it, translate it or take it without my permission.

Published the 01/12/2022

#black reader #timothee chalamet x black reader #timothee chalamet x you #timothee imagine #timothée chalamet x reader #timothee fanfic #the king #prince hal #prince hal x reader #henry x reader

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cursed-40k-thoughts · 13 days

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"basically all corporations do this"? You don't see Warcraft, most D&D settings, the Witcher, Shadowrun, Magic the Gathering, etc etc etc other fantasy franchises calling their orcs 'urgogs' or such. The likes of Blizzard and Hasbro aren't exactly paragons of integrity either, and ideas like 'continuity of brand' are ideas that applied equally to Warhammer.

Buddy. Pal. My guy. WoW-specific races like Tauren, Eredar, Draenai, are all copyrighted, and Blizzard holds copyright over the specific physical appearances of certain iterations of standard fantasy creatures, even though they aren't inherently all that original. Basically all of D&D's "unique" monsters and species are also copyrighted by Hasbro, no matter how derivative they are. Hence why Pathfinder doesn't use them. I don't know exactly what point you're trying to make, but I don't think you're making it very well.

Companies making THEIR version of a thing, in name or visual design, and then claiming it, is literally how all of these fuckers work.

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kaurwreck · 8 months

Text

There's certainly Something about singularities in Bungou Stray Dogs presenting as massive, myth-derived creatures with more than passing resemblances to kaiju given the setting predates its analog to World War II.

Gojira and the kaiju genre were born in the aftermath of Hiroshima, Nagasaki, and the Lucky Dragon Incident (in which an American hydrogen bomb test rained radioactive ash on a Japanese fishing boat and much of the South Pacific). Life form singularities (like Chuuya and Verlaine), the Seven Traitors, the Transcendants, Mori's fixation on skill-based warfare, and everything else about the Great War all indicate that skills are akin to nuclear arms.

But unlike nuclear arms, skills are generally framed as intrinsic to their user. They're neurological; as much as part of skill users' wiring as the rest of their synapses. Even for Kyouka, whose skill was inherited but not fully integrated, her skill more resembles hereditary neurochemical wiring than it does nuclear proliferation.

Gojira (1954) ends with Dr. Serizawa's promise that hydrogen bombs would always assure nightmarish, monstrous manifestations of the horrors of war. You'd think Dazai's gift, then, would be the enigmatic focal skill of the series; he's capable of nullifying hydrogen bombs, after all.

But it's Atsushi and his celestial Byakko that Shibusawa calls the antithesis of all other abilities. And, as explained in 55 Minutes, Byakko doesn't heal or regenerate Atsushi, it negates his wounds. Atsushi isn't only a particularly tenacious shounen protagonist, Byakko compels him to stand when he's been cut down. When Atsushi is at the edge of death, Byakko consumes him completely, and Atsushi is lost within him, moreso than even Chuuya is in his Corruption state (Chuuya is fully conscious in Corruption— if Atsushi is conscious, he's either repressing or sluggishly recalling the memory of what occurred). Akutagawa also mentions during the Cannibalism arc that Atsushi's claws cut through skills themselves (even Rashoumon, which eats space). Akutagawa also becomes aware, in 55 Minutes, that Byakko can be triggered by Atsushi's peril, and Akutagawa does so to negate the manifestation of a seemingly transcendant skill that otherwise had utterly defanged them (although he seems sorry to have to do it).

Nevertheless, although Atsushi's Byakko seemingly negates the metaphorical horrors of the Great War illustrated by the others and their relationships with their skills, it's Atsushi who posits that perhaps skills aren't innate. He says to Kunikida, "Maybe they come from somewhere else and stick to us. Maybe they're something we can't understand... I don't really know how to put it into words, but that's how I feel."

Much of 55 Minutes is colored by Atsushi's fear of Byakko and his understanding that Byakko could devour him. His fear is seemingly validated by the antagonist, a manifestation of a skill that seemingly swallowed its human. But although textually consistent with his expressed fear, Atsushi's tone, demeanor, timing, and thought processes from when he speaks that line until the light novel ends aren't. His musings reflect his namesake's exploration of and uneasy relationship with the nature of existence, which he understood to be constructed by one's culture and environment better than most due to his somewhat rootless childhood.

I think it's interesting that someone with a skill capable of cutting through other skills, negating wounds, and antithesizing all skills challenges whether skills are innate at all. And if they're not, what does that imply about the parallels between skills, the horrors of war, and the fear of nuclear holocaust?

It's important to me that the scars of American imperialism and disregard for the sanctity of life are not erased from the narrative when discussing the world wars and nuclear proliferation. So I hesitate to posit anything about what skills may be in Bungou Stray Dogs that is too abstracted from trauma wrought by Western imperialism, Japanese imperialism, or the horrors of World Wars I & II. But perhaps that's it; when Atsushi speculates that skills are something that sticks to you, I'm reminded of how trauma has shaped and informed his own. He is certain that Byakko's negation and restless hunger are connected to his birth and subsequent suffering. At first, I thought we were being teased with his early background. But there's no need to tease; the reason so many characters in Bungou Stray Dogs are orphans directly relates to the Great War and the generational trauma still reverberating in its aftermath, and amid the threat of another, even more destructive war.

Perhaps Atsushi was implying that skills are constructs born not from any innate self, if there's such a thing, but from traumas, experiences, needs, cultures, and environments. Which is to say that skills aren't separable, exactly, from their users, but they're not innate either. They're like our personalities: immutable once shaped in the crucible of our most formative years, but nevertheless reflections of not only ourselves, but of what we need and who we become when confronted by others, in all of their beauty and horror.

Thus, perhaps it isn't Atsushi's skill that's so very antithetical to all others. It's his understanding of it, his ability to cut through to others, his compassion, his cowardice, his curiosity, and his separation from his sense of self that both inflicted him with Byakko and which will allow him to transcend it to become who he desires to be. It reminds me that, shortly before his death, his namesake decided to become a writer. And that although he wrote and lived only briefly, his sincerity, thoughtfulness, and introspective skepticism cut, and continue to cut, with a brilliance emblematic of life.

Anyway. Atsushi is both the main character and protagonist of Bungou Stray Dogs. Dazai knows this, too; even if he can nullify Byakko, he's just as impacted by Atsushi's brimming earnestness as everyone else Atsushi encounters. Atsushi liberates the narrative so that it's not a warning that the horrors of war will proliferate so long as we are capable of mass destruction, but instead it's a promise that hope needn't be intrinsic to persist all the same.

#bungou stray dogs #bsd #bsd atsushi #atsushi nakajima #bsd meta #this was all sleep deprived stream of consciousness #but it helped me untangle my nagging fixation on 55 Minutes and Dead Apple #the last sentence does my actual understanding of this thought's thesis an injustice #but im too sleep deprived to articulate myself with any precision so itll have to suffice #i apologize for the timing #but i also dont #because nakajima atsushi's body of work is reviving my skeptical curious optimism lately

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