#but i also dont

[pinatadulce]

*Insert creative title*

I wanted to post on Tuesday but my relatives got sick af and I had to help them out (dw they're mostly better now)

Tbh I just wanted an excuse to have to draw the happi artist of the neighborhood and the sad boi librarian

Swap clothing

I love poetry ❤️

I hate the drawing but I like their dynamic

🍎 💞 📖

#i hate this #but i also dont #Idk #welcome home #my art #fan art #artists on tumblr #small artist #welcome home puppet show #welcome home fanart #welcome home arg #welcome home wally #welcome home ocs #welcome home oc #welcome home original character #Gay #they're gay your honor #Sad boi #sad boi shit #wh fanart #my fanart #digital fanart #wh wally #wally welcome home #wally darling #Why tf did I draw this #please like and reblog #It's so glitchy sorry yall 😭 #I feel like Wally would love the frills tbh #My man Luddy be embarrassed about showing some of his chest

[kaurwreck]

There's certainly Something about singularities in Bungou Stray Dogs presenting as massive, myth-derived creatures with more than passing resemblances to kaiju given the setting predates its analog to World War II.

Gojira and the kaiju genre were born in the aftermath of Hiroshima, Nagasaki, and the Lucky Dragon Incident (in which an American hydrogen bomb test rained radioactive ash on a Japanese fishing boat and much of the South Pacific). Life form singularities (like Chuuya and Verlaine), the Seven Traitors, the Transcendants, Mori's fixation on skill-based warfare, and everything else about the Great War all indicate that skills are akin to nuclear arms.

But unlike nuclear arms, skills are generally framed as intrinsic to their user. They're neurological; as much as part of skill users' wiring as the rest of their synapses. Even for Kyouka, whose skill was inherited but not fully integrated, her skill more resembles hereditary neurochemical wiring than it does nuclear proliferation.

Gojira (1954) ends with Dr. Serizawa's promise that hydrogen bombs would always assure nightmarish, monstrous manifestations of the horrors of war. You'd think Dazai's gift, then, would be the enigmatic focal skill of the series; he's capable of nullifying hydrogen bombs, after all.

But it's Atsushi and his celestial Byakko that Shibusawa calls the antithesis of all other abilities. And, as explained in 55 Minutes, Byakko doesn't heal or regenerate Atsushi, it negates his wounds. Atsushi isn't only a particularly tenacious shounen protagonist, Byakko compels him to stand when he's been cut down. When Atsushi is at the edge of death, Byakko consumes him completely, and Atsushi is lost within him, moreso than even Chuuya is in his Corruption state (Chuuya is fully conscious in Corruption— if Atsushi is conscious, he's either repressing or sluggishly recalling the memory of what occurred). Akutagawa also mentions during the Cannibalism arc that Atsushi's claws cut through skills themselves (even Rashoumon, which eats space). Akutagawa also becomes aware, in 55 Minutes, that Byakko can be triggered by Atsushi's peril, and Akutagawa does so to negate the manifestation of a seemingly transcendant skill that otherwise had utterly defanged them (although he seems sorry to have to do it).

Nevertheless, although Atsushi's Byakko seemingly negates the metaphorical horrors of the Great War illustrated by the others and their relationships with their skills, it's Atsushi who posits that perhaps skills aren't innate. He says to Kunikida, "Maybe they come from somewhere else and stick to us. Maybe they're something we can't understand... I don't really know how to put it into words, but that's how I feel."

Much of 55 Minutes is colored by Atsushi's fear of Byakko and his understanding that Byakko could devour him. His fear is seemingly validated by the antagonist, a manifestation of a skill that seemingly swallowed its human. But although textually consistent with his expressed fear, Atsushi's tone, demeanor, timing, and thought processes from when he speaks that line until the light novel ends aren't. His musings reflect his namesake's exploration of and uneasy relationship with the nature of existence, which he understood to be constructed by one's culture and environment better than most due to his somewhat rootless childhood.

I think it's interesting that someone with a skill capable of cutting through other skills, negating wounds, and antithesizing all skills challenges whether skills are innate at all. And if they're not, what does that imply about the parallels between skills, the horrors of war, and the fear of nuclear holocaust?

It's important to me that the scars of American imperialism and disregard for the sanctity of life are not erased from the narrative when discussing the world wars and nuclear proliferation. So I hesitate to posit anything about what skills may be in Bungou Stray Dogs that is too abstracted from trauma wrought by Western imperialism, Japanese imperialism, or the horrors of World Wars I & II. But perhaps that's it; when Atsushi speculates that skills are something that sticks to you, I'm reminded of how trauma has shaped and informed his own. He is certain that Byakko's negation and restless hunger are connected to his birth and subsequent suffering. At first, I thought we were being teased with his early background. But there's no need to tease; the reason so many characters in Bungou Stray Dogs are orphans directly relates to the Great War and the generational trauma still reverberating in its aftermath, and amid the threat of another, even more destructive war.

Perhaps Atsushi was implying that skills are constructs born not from any innate self, if there's such a thing, but from traumas, experiences, needs, cultures, and environments. Which is to say that skills aren't separable, exactly, from their users, but they're not innate either. They're like our personalities: immutable once shaped in the crucible of our most formative years, but nevertheless reflections of not only ourselves, but of what we need and who we become when confronted by others, in all of their beauty and horror.

Thus, perhaps it isn't Atsushi's skill that's so very antithetical to all others. It's his understanding of it, his ability to cut through to others, his compassion, his cowardice, his curiosity, and his separation from his sense of self that both inflicted him with Byakko and which will allow him to transcend it to become who he desires to be. It reminds me that, shortly before his death, his namesake decided to become a writer. And that although he wrote and lived only briefly, his sincerity, thoughtfulness, and introspective skepticism cut, and continue to cut, with a brilliance emblematic of life.

Anyway. Atsushi is both the main character and protagonist of Bungou Stray Dogs. Dazai knows this, too; even if he can nullify Byakko, he's just as impacted by Atsushi's brimming earnestness as everyone else Atsushi encounters. Atsushi liberates the narrative so that it's not a warning that the horrors of war will proliferate so long as we are capable of mass destruction, but instead it's a promise that hope needn't be intrinsic to persist all the same.

#bungou stray dogs #bsd #bsd atsushi #atsushi nakajima #bsd meta #this was all sleep deprived stream of consciousness #but it helped me untangle my nagging fixation on 55 Minutes and Dead Apple #the last sentence does my actual understanding of this thought's thesis an injustice #but im too sleep deprived to articulate myself with any precision so itll have to suffice #i apologize for the timing #but i also dont #because nakajima atsushi's body of work is reviving my skeptical curious optimism lately

[seafoamheart]

snas

(this is not my new art style i just wanted to try out the art style that people usually use for him back on 2015-2017?)

#undertale art #sans undertale #undertale sans #undertale fanart #undertale #sans the skeleton #sans #i love this guy #but i also dont #sfh_art

[axel-ambassador]

I sincerely hope Fresh understands that there are more ways to show that people genuinely love each other than having them try to stuff their tongues down each other's throats

#This post was made by someone that's never been in a relationship #total drama #total drama 2023 #total drama island 2023 #tdi 2023 #total drama island #total drama action #ripaxel #axeripper #gidgette #i mean i get it #but i also dont

[johnsyelloweyes]

my very first macden fanart!!! :)

I drew this while my class was watching a movie (my maths teacher was sitting next to me but oh well).

hope u like it because I really enjoyed drawing it!!! ^^

#it's always sunny in philadelphia #iasip #iasip fanart #macden #macdennis #i love them so much #but i also dont #mac macdonald #dennis reynolds

[spellsunderthestars]

*kicks in balls*

>… No reaction.

Ooooh nooo. That hurt.

>It really didn’t..

>Shame to break this to you but uh

>He doesnt have balls. He’s transmasc

#i mentioned that he had a binder in his ref #I should go post his ref #But i also dont #Anyways mage is goimg to go pester his beloved big brother #That he’s stabbed 3 times #How about i bless this with being the pinned post #Dot dot dot

[roachemoji]

.

#bo posting #vent #im self isolating #but i think i want to be alone #but i also dont #but the kind of company i want i cant have #intrusive thoughts about ny relationships are getting overwhelmingly #in too afraid to ask for anything #feels like if i do ill make things worse somehow #like im being a bad or inconsiderate person #but not avoiding things also makes me bad and inconsiderate #that im being a coward and should just deal with whatever outcome. even ifvits negative and nothing changes or gets done #and if i upset people it is my fault. and avoiding it is only prolonging that. ill upset someone no matter what i do #i just dont feel safe being a person with needs and emotions that affect others #that feels like it sounds sarcastic but im anxious and sad nd i dont understand how to help myself or what to do #and thrn we come full circle to why i cant ask for help

[iloveajshabeel]

how i love being at home and doing nothing

#its actually agoraphobia #and avpd #but we stay silly #actually agoraphobic #actually avoidant #avpd #agoraphobia #i love my room #but i also dont #bed rotting #i dont know how long i can go on #lol

[cuppedbottledwater]

honestly watching hannibal does something to you. I was watching a completely irrelevant show and during a scene where a character was being killed, the first thought I had was "that's dinner"

#nbc hannibal #hannibal lecter #i want a refund #but i also dont

[abrracadabra]

um i wroted a sbg royalty au !!!

#sbg #not tagging the main school bus graveyard tag #because i dont want this to be seen #well i do #but i also dont

[grumpypanda666]

My sexual orientation is like: 🙅🏼‍♀️👎🏻✖️

But my romantic orientation is like: 🥰🤨😬🥺🤷🏼‍♀️

#i want romance #but i also dont #but i also dont know if i do #or what romance really is #asexual #aromantic #cupioromantic #aro #ace #aroace #queer #lgbtqia #quoiromantic

[lonelycatsblog]

someone tell me to go to sleep bc i won’t listen to myself

#i just want to sleep #but i also dont #mentally fucked

[janwixler]

okay, we all know that Andrew met Aaron and the others at the age of 16-17ish. A real long time later after being at several shitty foster homes.

but for Aaron his family was just there right? and most importantly, Nicky was there. I find it kinda cute sometimes how Nicky looks for shield from Andrew with Aaron. he's all like, 'Aaron, help me, your brother might possibly kill me.' and Aaron is like, 'if you don't stop your cringe behavior, I might be the first one to do that.'

like they knew each other way before they knew Andrew. I like to think how Nicky used all kinds of tricks to make a young grumpy Aaron while his parents were arguing with Tilda. Played video games or board games with him and Nicky gossiping whatever happened in his school.

not to mention Andrew too found Nicky to be the most reliable cousin/family member ever. He felt himself around him in a weird way. Honorary mention of Andrew actually nearly killed some homophobic men for Nicky.

Nicky isn't perfect, but he just wants his family to be happy and include him as a part of their happiness.

#4 am rambles #wanted to get this thought out #nicky hemmick #i hate you #but i also dont #aftg

[sparklingpunch]

i wish i could stop

#lanely loveheart #i dont want hangovers anymore #and i want to be able to think clearly for at least one second #but i also dont #the whole reason i drink is to avoid thinking about myself #and the way i feel about myself #but it doesnt even always work #i dont know what im saying anymore #i hate myself

[slytherinshua]

reminiscing my bts era always hits so hard

#zanna speaks?? #i want to go back #but i also dont #idk #i never loved them less #but i started loving other groups MORE #and its weird

[autumnhortsnort]

No context poll, which of these is better?

A.

B.

C.

D.

E.

F.

#ignoring the very different levels of completedness #im struggling #cause i want to make it cute #but i also dont #birds #art #anthro? #poll #residuum etc. #residuum