#and a bit of acorn squash i think

[fbwzoo]

I'm so excited and proud of this boy. He's just getting better & better. Today he ate some mustard greens for the first time, didn't even skip eating a day or two to protest first. Ate a full third of the greens I put down. So he got roaches as a reward & was SO quick to zoom over when I showed him the bowl. Chomped them all down in no time!

And as you can see, he's shedding!!! Already gotten a bit off the neck. The rest of his body is getting dusty looking, so will be joining the party soon.

I'm just so happy about him today.

#reptiblr #bearded dragon #beardie #rescue reptile #fbw rambles #my pets #animal pics #ed beardie #delighted to be getting his diet expanded a bit #he still likes arugula best but he's eaten a little collard and mustard greens now #and a bit of acorn squash i think #and for bugs he's enjoyed bsf worms mealworms silkworms waxworms and dubia roaches #really looking forward to his next vet check in a month or two #i can't wait to show them his improvement

[thestudentfarmer]

Hello hello, sharing a bit of food post as promised the other day :)

I made squash noodles! Yes, I was inspired by tiktok, Food use inspiration can be shared and come from anywhere :) this was my first time making noodles of any kind and I'm glad I tried it out!

I used acorn squash and delicata squash. I washed, halved and gutted them. Saving the seeds for a snack for us this time.

Baked them at 350-375 *f for about an hour. I like using a roasting pan and cook a few extra at a time to save heat and supplies. I also like to bake some potatoes to cook for breakfast the next day.

Cooked up and scooped out into containers for various meals for the week. The shells I set aside for compost/chicken feed.

Mixed some scoops of both squash w/ flour. I didn't measure but I did add quite a bit more flour throughout. Mix it well till the dough is no longer sticky and is fairly smooth. It may take awhile, if you have a stand mixer I'd suggest using it to protect your wrists.

Smooth enough for me. I let the dough rest a few hours before cooking so the flour could get more springy. I don't think it's necessary but I just didn't have time to cook immediately and like how it came out.

Used scissors to snip them into peices and dropped straight into boiling salted water.

What they looked like after boiling. I tried one right after and it's a bit bitter. Definatly wouldn't suggest eating as is (though I can't say all squash pasta will be so! Could jsut be that I used delicata/acorn squash)

To finish off I used green enchilada sauce, some salt, pepper, garlic and cumin. Mixed w/ the pasta and some shredded pork and let it reduce a bit. Plated and topped with a sprinkle of cheese and a lil more Chile sauce.

Came out very good, even the most skeptic veggie eater of the house enjoyed it and asked if we could have it again sometime! :D

Was it good? Yes.

Would we eat again? Also yes!

Personal food idea/suggestion w/for these noodles?

Maybe a carrot soup broth w/ coconut cream or heavy cream would be good w/ the noodles.

Chicken noodle soup would be tasty too, just cook the noodle in the chicken stock to take advantage of the startchyness of the flour for thickener. Lil more black pepper. Garlic and use pumpkin or a bit more sweet squash for the squash puree.

Now on to the seeds, I prepared them similarly to pumpkin seeds.

Wash well, let dry and then use a bit of oil, seasoning of choice and cook 375-400* f till crispy on both sides.

Much smaller seeds. But equally tasty as pumpkin seeds, I kinda burnt these ones a lil bit, I got distracted with tidying the kitchen a bit.

Well that's it for now :)

🌱 🎃 Happy Homesteading, gardening and good cooking! 🎃 🌱

12 28 2023

#homesteading #self sufficient living #thestudentfarmer #studentfarmer #self sufficiency #food #garden #gardening #low waste #chickens #squash #nofoodscraps #use it all #urban homesteading #urban gardening #urban farming #urban biodiversity #snout to tail cooking #root to tip cooking #frugal cooking #how to cook #grow what you eat #eat what you grow #eating in season #smalls scale differences #urban green spaces #delicata squash #acorn squash #kitchen economics #stretching the dollar

[winslowat3am]

WINSLOW! 😃😁😄 If Winnie the pooh did cottagecore things what would it look like? House decor, hobbies, cooking, and stuff like that what stuff would he like and the visuals?

Oh my fuck, I love this question! So glad you asked. 😏🐻

If Winnie was a cottagecore king, he would live in a small, wooden style cottage, similar to his own, but maybe he has a little rose/flower bush outside his bedroom window where he tends to his flowers in the morning. Maybe some small fruit & veggie bushes & trees too (strawberries 🍓, grapes 🍇, squash, bananas 🍌, carrots 🥕 etc) that he uses to prepare food for his other animal friends. 🐷🐯🐴

I'm thinking the interior would have wallpaper since he has a happy personality. He would love floral or any kind of bright vintage wallpaper to add some color. I can definitely see him wearing a little garden hat that Piglet made for him & maybe he hangs it on a wall like this when he's done picking berries & veggies. Lol. He'd also have pictures of his friends/family hung on the walls & bits of nature photography hung that he took himself.

Bedroom! Same as before, it would be colorful & bright, florals, vintage, handmade items by himself & his friends. Quilts. He would LOVE quilts! Warm colored afghans & quilts would replace the summery thin sheets during the colder months. Various fabrics & designs. Some stuffed plushies to make it more cozy & homey. A hand painted dresser that's chipping because he's had it for eons, but refuses to replace it. On the walls is where he keeps more framed photos of art they made, & on top of the dresser is a lamp, journal & vintage knickknacks.

In the kitchen he has wooden furniture, those old school curtains that you hang up by hand, he collects teacups, table cloths & honey jars, flower vases (that he actually uses), decorative plates, maybe some china, & pots from hand-me-down thrift stores. The curtains are always drawn to allow sunlight in for the flowers. He kind of has kind of, like, a grandmacore vibe going. I could see him being hella into grandmacore, art, sewing, scented candles & interior design, lmao. Perhaps he's sewn more cute belly shirts all in different colors for when his iconic red one gets dirty. He totally still wears pajamas & sits next to the fireplace during the winter, btw. Everything is a little mix & match, but pleasing & to his liking. He has small rugs here & there, & in his bathroom is probably a bowl sink, more wallpaper, with acorn designs, too. There's an old couch, coffee table, display tables in corners, tall glass cabinets for his china display & tv set in the living room that connects to the kitchen.

& yeah! I think that's about it for our tour. Unless I forgot something? I don't think I did. His hobbies would be handmade art of sorts, cooking, gardening, nature walks, sleeping, eating honey & enjoying time with his friends.

Edit: Oh, & he uses the veggies he harvested to make pot pie in his tiny old style kitchen, eeee! ❤️

It's old, it's vintage, it's home. ☺️🏡🌿

#basically his house would be cozy as fuck & you would want to live there #he'd invite his friends over for dinner & they'd cook together & eat from his harvest #honey is for dessert of COURSE! DUH! 🍯😊 #everything would feel lived in & there's little chips of wallpaper or paintings cause it's all a bit old but still in good condition! #ask #ask box #📬 #inbox 💌 #winnie the pooh #cottagecore #grandmacore #cozycore #oh & I forgot he loves picnics! he makes the food for the rest of em most of the time

[newtsnaturethings]

Ranking of all the Winter Squash I’ve Tried

SSS

Kabocha:

Sorry nothing can top this one. Sweet, chestnut-y, and DENSE but in a good way. So good I can usually just roast these dudes in the oven or simmer in some salted water and just eat ‘em.

A:

Honeynut:

Cool varietal that’s literally bred for flavor. And it shows. It’s sweet and nice and a great roasting squash. Idk what else do you need.

Sweet Meat Squash:

Not the best in terms of names. The outside is pale blue and the inside is a lovely muted orange. A good balance of sweet and savory.

B:

Acorn:

Less sweet and a bit more nutty. Verges on bland but skirts that line like a champ. Great stuffed.

Delicata

Sweet and slender. Cooks faster than other squash in this group but also a but more delicate as a result and falls apart more easily.

C:

Kuri:

I have been duped into thinking this was a kabocha a couple times and still feel the sting of betrayal. Sorry Kuri squash it’s personal. But in all seriousness this is a pretty decent squash. Very mild and a good balance of sweet and nutty.

Hubbard Squash:

Only the big ones are really edible and they are A LOT of work. But they are a nice sweet squash.

Sugar pie pumpkin

Sweet and good for pie. Not much else. A bit one note. Texturally it’s alright. Can be stringy.

D:

Butternut

I’m neutral about butternuts. They’re fine but kind of bland.

E:

F:

Spaghetti Squash

Yeah nope.

#squash #winter squash #newts thoughts

[allthingsorganic2024]

An excerpt from T. Colin Campbell's seminal book, "The China Study"

Chapter 12: How to Eat

"When Tom, my youngest son and collaborator on this book, was 13 years old, our family was in the final stages of a slow shift to becoming vegetarian. One Sunday morning, Tom came home from a sleepover at a close friend's house and told us a memorable story. The night before, Tom was being grilled in a friendly way on his eating habits. The sister of Tom's friend had asked him, rather incredulously, "you don't eat meat?". He had never justified his eating habits; he had just gotten used to eating what was on the dinner table. As a consequence, Tom was not practiced at answering such a question, so he simply answered, "no I don't," without offering any explanations. The girl probed a bit more, "so, what do you eat?". Tom answered with a few shrugs, "I guess just...plants." She said, "oh," and that was the end of that.

The reason we enjoy this story is because Tom's response, "plants," was so simple. It was a truthful answer but couched in an entirely untraditional manner. When someone asks for the glazed ham across the table, he doesn't say, "pass the flesh of the pig's butt please." And when someone tells his children to finish their peas and carrots, he doesn't say, "finish your plants." But since our family changed our eating habits, we've come to enjoy thinking of food as either plants or animals. It fits well into the philosophy of keeping the information on food and health as simple as possible. Food and health are anything but simple in our country. We often marvel at the complexity of various weight loss plans. Although the writers always advertise their plans' ease of use, in reality, it's never easy. Followers of these diets have to count calories, points, servings, or nutrients, or eat specific amounts of certain foods based on specific mathematical ratios. There are tools to be used, supplements to be taken, and worksheets to be completed. It is no wonder that dieting seldom succeeds. Eating should be an enjoyable and worry-free experience and shouldn't rely on deprivation. Keeping it simple is essential if we are to enjoy our food.

One of the most fortunate findings from the mountain of nutritional research we've encountered is that good food and good health is simple. The biology of the relationship of food and health is exceptionally complex, but the message is still simple. The recommendations coming from the published literature are so simple that we can state them in one sentence: eat a whole foods, plant-based diet while minimizing the consumption of refined foods, added salt, and added fats, examples of which will be provided in the following table. Eat all you want, while getting lots of variety, of any whole, unrefined plant-based food.

Maximize

General category: Fruits

Specific examples: orange, okra, kiwi, red pepper, apple, cucumber, tomato, avocado, zucchini, blueberries, strawberries, green pepper, raspberries, butternut squash, pumpkin, blackberries, mangos, eggplant, pear, watermelon, cranberries, acorn squash, papaya, grapefruit, peach

Vegetables

Flowers. Specific examples: broccoli, cauliflower

Not many of the huge variety of edible flowers are commonly eaten.

Stems and Leaves. Specific examples: spinach, artichokes, kale, lettuce (all varieties), cabbage, Swiss chard, collard greens, celery, asparagus, mustard greens, Brussel sprouts, turnip greens, beet greens, Bok choy, arugula, Belgian endive, basil, cilantro, parsley, rhubarb, seaweed

Roots. Specific examples: potatoes (all varieties), beets, carrots, turnips, onions, garlic, ginger, leeks, pinto beans, white beans, legumes

Seed-Bearing Nitrogen-Fixing Plants. Specific examples: green beans, soy beans, peas, peanuts, Adzuki beans, black beans, black eyed peas, cannellini beans, garbanzo beans, kidney beans, lentils, pinto beans, white beans

Mushrooms. Specific examples: white button, baby Bella (cremini), promini, portobello, shiitake, oyster

Nuts. Specific examples: walnuts, almonds, macadamia, pecans, cashew, hazelnut, pistachio

Whole Grains and Breads, Pastas, etc. Specific examples: wheat, rice, corn, millet, sorghum, rye, oats, barley, teff, buckwheat, amaranth, quinoa, Kamut, spelt (hulled wheat)

Minimize

Refined Carbohydrates. Specific examples: pastas, except whole grain varieties; white bread, crackers, sugars, and most cakes and pastries

Added vegetable oils. Specific examples: corn oil, peanut oil, olive oil

Fish. Specific examples: salmon, tuna, cod

Avoid

Meat. Specific examples: steak, hamburger, lard

Poultry. Specific examples: chicken, turkey

Dairy. Specific examples: cheese, milk, yogurt

Eggs. Specific examples: eggs, and products with a high egg content (that is, mayonnaise)

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Supplements. Daily supplements of Vitamin B12, and perhaps Vitamin D for people who spend most of their time indoors and/or live in the northern climates, are encouraged. For Vitamin D, you shouldn't exceed RDA recommendations.

That's it! That's the diet science has found to be consistent with the greatest health and the lowest incidence of heart disease, cancer, obesity, and many other Western diseases.

What does minimize mean? Should you eliminate meat completely? The findings from The China Study indicate that the lower the percentage of animal-based foods are consumed, the greater the health benefits -- even when that percentage declines from 10 percent to zero percent of calories [i.e., consuming even small amounts of animal-based foods, as low as ten percent of your calorie intake, has been linked to future chronic disease incidence]. So it's not unreasonable to assume that the optimum percentage of animal-based products is zero -- at least for anyone with a predisposition for a degenerative disease. But this has not been absolutely proven. It is true that most of the health benefits described in this book have been realized at low -- but non-zero -- levels of animal-based foods.

My advice is to try to eliminate all animal-based products from your diet, but not obsess over it. If a tasty vegetable soup has a chicken stock base, or if a hearty loaf of whole wheat bread includes a tiny amount of egg, don't worry about it. These quantities, very likely, are nutritionally unimportant. Even more importantly, the ability to relax about very minor quantities of animal-based foods makes applying this diet much easier, especially when eating out or buying already prepared foods.

While we recommend that you not worry about small quantities of animal products in your food, we're not suggesting that you deliberately plan to incorporate small portions of meat into your daily diet. My recommendation is that you try to avoid all animal-based products. There are three excellent reasons to go all the way:

Following this diet requires a radical shift in your thinking about food. It's more work to just do it halfway. If you plan for animal-based products, you'll eat them, and you'll almost certainly eat more than you should.

You'll feel deprived. Instead of viewing your new food habit as being able to eat all the plant-based foods that you want, you'll be seeing it as in terms of having to limit yourself, which is not conducive to being on the diet long-term.

You will, within a month or so, perhaps a little more, actually break the physiological addiction we acquire from eating large amounts of fat and refined carbohydrates."

#The China Study #Whole Food Plant Based #WFPB diet #eat more plants

[extemporaneousmusings]

18/11/23

Today I:

-went on a bit of a shopping spree on vinted, which is a second hand item app I only recently heard about, and I was finding lots of good stuff today. I bought a bunch of things, including a leopard print dress that I'm kinda bugging out about. one of my favorite youtubers did a really smart and interesting video a few years ago in defense of leopard print and i kinda dismissed it at the time as just not for me but I took the plunge today lol. I want to be ~kooky&comfy~ as my main aesthetic so i might as well have at least one animal print in my wardrobe...

-made a decision about whether or not I was going to get my advisor a thank you present, which I had been quite unsure about. I was able to bundle several items from a single seller's closet, and noticed a scarf that I think is quite pretty and I think she will too, and scarves are her favorite accessory, so I decided to get it for her

-met up with Al at the coffee shop at the end of my alley and sat outside in the sun for a while and I managed to get her to talk about herself a little more than usual, both regarding her diss but also other non-work related topics, so I'm feeling accomplished about that

-channeled Takis, the chef at the American School in Greece, and made a luscious vegetable soup for dinner (acorn squash!). he always had the most amazing tiny croutons as toppings but we had some toasted pepitas which were still delicious

#personal #good things #food #no more clothes shopping till like...I get a job next year and know what the workplace attire situation will be lol #but I'm pleased with what I got #I did need to plug some holes in my wardrobe #and get some more warmer items #and then I took a few chances on things like the leopard print and some florals #and haggled a few other things down so then felt even better/more justified about buying them...

[jockbrannigan]

Have a cookie

In which an exasperrated Jock is calmed by Vivienne's steady nerve and cookies.

@vivienneastor

Jock

-Jesus fucking Christ! This prom was really throwing things back to high school for Jock, complete with a distressing run-in with the resident bully. Jock had used up all of his bravery for the night and he needed to get out of there and get home. He was reeling so hard from Zack roughing him up that as he tried to make his retreat from the prom, he didn't realise he was about to collide with a woman who looked way too classy to be here.-

-He caught himself just in time, waving his hands out either side of his body to balance himself and prevent himself from falling into the woman-

"Sorry! Excuse me! I wasn't looking- Sorry!"

Vivienne Astor

-reaching out to cinch her grip on the young man's arm as he flails, her well-toned strength making it not too onerous to keep him upright- Calm down. What are you rushing around for? Is somebody chasing you? -peers behind him, into the dim- This place seems almost lawless.

Jock

-At least she didn't shout at him for nearly knocking her over. Jock took a breath in the hopes it might steady him-

"I'm sorry. I just- There was this guy and I pissed him off and he kinda sorta threatened me and pushed me around and I ain't good at fighting and-"

-Another breath and a stronger intent to follow her initial instruction of calming down-

"I don't think he's chasing me but I really don't wanna see him again."

Vivienne Astor

That seems reasonable. Here, have something to eat. That'll ground you. -she holds out her own plate of nibbles, bits of roasted squash and apples and nuts, some acorn flour cookies- Don't worry, I'll protect you from this guy. I'm Vivienne. I'm quite new here and I wouldn't mind the company. -in truth, she could give or take the company, but it would likely make this young fellow feel bolstered if it seemed he was needed-

Jock

-Jock blinks at the offered plate as his brain takes an extra moment to process what is required of him. He takes a cookie and nibbles on it. He looks at the woman with wide eyes, evidence of his panic still to be found there-

"Thank you. I'm Jock. I'm new too. Only been here a couple of weeks. Still learning how things work. Turns out: not everyone is as friendly as everyone else."

Vivienne Astor

That's something that exists everywhere, Jock. I take it you prefer to be one of the friendly sort? -Vivienne eyes him as he eats the cookie, still seeming faintly rattled around the edges- If you've only been here a short time, what on earth could you have done to upset this person? I hope they won't pursue it.

Jock

"You don't prefer the friendly sort?"

-He lets out a snort before taking a few more nibbles of the cookie, which is helping to ground him but the adrenaline is still rushing through him-

"And all I did was point out he shouldn't destroy the smoke detector and then he got up all in my face and maybe I antagonised him a bit but I didn't deserve to be thrown around and then pinned on the floor."

Vivienne Astor

-tuts in sympathy- Poor little creature. It does sound like your bully has a bit of a temper. Did he manage to hurt you? Or is it more your nerves that are shaken. Here, have some squash, it's candied, you'll like it.

Jock

-He barely finished the cookie when the candied squash is put into his hand. Dutifully he takes a bite and sure enough, Vivienne was right: he did like it-

"More the nerves. You're being very kind. Thank you. Though I'll understand if you'd rather go and talk to someone who isn't sulking after getting beaten up."

Vivienne Astor

I don't think you're sulking. But you shouldn't presume how other people would rather spend their time. -Vivienne's tone tends towards authoritarian rather than scolding, but she does hear how it might sound and pauses after that declaration- I don't ... intend to be short with you, Jock. I suppose it's been stressful getting here.

Jock

-He's still nibbling away at his candied squash as Vivienne corrects him. He nods as he takes it in, storing this information away to be remembered during future social interactions-

"I don't think you've been short with me. I get it. The whole world is stressful. It was before the virus anyway but now it's like the stress took something like steroids and it's angry about it and making us all suffer for it... Or something!"

Vivienne Astor

-her mouth curves into a smile at Jock's prattling, and she gives him a more measured look this time, like his own moment of consideration- Or something. What do they have you doing here in town, Jock? I understand that we're all meant to figure out vocations for ourselves, in this new steroid-jacked reality.

Jock

-Not many people appreciated his prattling but Vivienne appeared to be one of the few.-

"Oh, me, I'm one of the Inventory Managers, helping keep track of supplies and such. Do you know what you might be interested in doing?"

Vivienne Astor

-sighs, not finding much appeal in the job Jock's selected for himself- I haven't got a clue. I'm not accustomed to much manual labour. Or general labour. I can cook but not with the limited pantry available here. But that's likely a usual part of settling in here, hmm? -she eats one of the squash pieces herself- Do you like it? Inventory management.

Jock

"I think one of the Council has, like, a list of available jobs. If none apply to your skillset, maybe they adapt something for you?"

-Jock wasn't sure if that would actually work but it wasn't his job to decide that. Vivienne appeared to be a capable and self-assured person. She'd find something that suited her, he was sure of it-

"Yeah, I like it. I like keeping things in order and knowing what we have and what we don't have and stuff. I'm not the best at describing it and making it sound exciting but it works for me."

Vivienne Astor

Yes, that's a good suggestion. They can adapt something for me. -she smiles, pleased at this notion of the Council arranging their current jobs to make one specifically that Vivienne cares to do- You've described it fine. Did you consider it part of your job as inventory manager, confronting that bully about the smoke alarms?

Jock

-He smiles when Vivienne does, his ego puffing out a little for managing to impress her somewhat. But it falters when she directs the conversation back to what had happened with Zack.-

"I consider it part of my duty to the community to keep everyone safe. Smoke alarms are there for a reason, right? And it ain't for some asshole to come along and rip them from the wall."

Vivienne Astor

-she can see his reluctance to dwell on this, which makes it that much more enticing- That's very commendable. Is that the common view around here, have you noticed? Working for the good of the community, even if there's people here liable to attack you for doing the right thing? That seems somewhat paradoxical, to me.

Jock

-He couldn't tell if she missed how uncomfortable he was talking about Zack again or she didn't miss it and pushed on anyway. He decided that regardless of which was the case, it was good for him to confront it, much like he would've in therapy back in the days before the virus-

"So far, the majority of people seem to wanna help others. I can list a bunch of people who live here and how they help others, way more than the other kind of people who, like you said, attack you for tryin' to do the right thing. So far though, Zack is the only asshat. The good outweigh the bad, for sure, in my experience at least."

Vivienne Astor

-the change in her posture is immediate; Vivienne draws herself up, her grip on her plate tightening- Zack. Of course it would be. -her expression flickers through a few rapid variations, coming to rest in something neutral, placid but understanding- Zack is my husband.

Jock

-His eyes go as wide as possible as soon as she confirms she's married to Zack-

"He's your what? You married him? Why?"

-Again, his eyes bug out when he realises his potential error. He shakes his head and scratches the back of his neck-

"Sorry, I shouldn't have done that. But of all the people you might be married to, I never pictured it being Zack."

Vivienne Astor

-Vivienne shakes her head, gathering herself- It's all right. It's a natural reaction, in fact. We've been married for... -she startles, looking shocked; she hasn't actually thought about it for a while- Thirty years. I know what he's like, but only up to a point. -she hesitates for a moment, but -- what can it matter, now? with all the Astors gone, and Jock hardly looking like a society reporter?- They were a cold family, the Astors. Zack and I had a marriage of mostly convenience.

Jock

-Jock is reassured he doesn't need to remove his foot from his mouth this time around. He's gonna need to watch it though if he doesn't want to end up on Vivienne's bad side too-

"Wow. Thirty years is impressive though. Most people who marry for love don't even last that long, y'know?"

Vivienne Astor

That's ... I've never looked at it that way before. -Vivienne chuckles slightly, nibbling at one of the fried apple slices- Are you with someone, Jock? Or were you?

Jock

"Nah, I don't have anyone. It's just me. Before the virus and after. Which is probably for the best consider my-"

-he waves his free hand, the one without a piece of candied squash in it, in the air-

"Issues."

Vivienne Astor

Issues? -she perks up, chewing faster on her apple- You can't just drop that and not elaborate. Don't worry, I'm very discreet. I just also happen to be nosy.

Jock

-He considers how much to tell Vivienne, considering her connection to Zack. But ultimately he decides his issues were all documented in the town's records as part of his admissions process. Anyone with access to those records would be able to find out how deep his issues go, if they really wanted to. So he starts counting them out on his fingers.-

"There's the agoraphobia, the Generalized Anxiety Disorder, the C-PTSD, the ADHD and there's probably more but those are the main ones."

Vivienne Astor

-she nods- Ah, yes, I see. And are you finding that the people here are equipped to provide support for you?

Jock

"There's a therapist here in Redwood apparently. I haven't met them yet but if they're willing to work with me, that'll go a long way I think."

Vivienne Astor

That's fortunate indeed. It's good that you'll find the help you need here.

Jock

"Thanks."

-After finishing the piece of candied squash Vivienne had handed to him, he wipes his hands on his pants.-

"And thanks for feeding me and letting me ramble at you. Appreciate it."

Vivienne Astor

Stay out of the way of any more grumpy fellows and smoke alarms if you can help it tonight, Jock.

#jbtalks #thread: jock and vivienne #vivienne #event: 002

[thesquashpit]

Turban Squash male blossom, ~July 2023 Hello, Folks! I've been "assaulting" my family (their term, not mine) with information about my garden this year. You'd think they would want to know about Mother Nature's Bounty and the Miracle of Growth but no, they are at work or whatever. It's getting late in the season so we'll just pick up where we are. This spring was unseasonably cold because everywhere from the Earth's underboobs to her knees was on fire. That means that most of my plants are just now in mid-august starting to fruit. This is my first time gardening but I thought that things started fruiting earlier than this, but maybe this is just how it is. Maybe I made mistakes. Whatevs. I planned on having two tomatoes, but due to a saga I will recount later, I ended up getting a bunch of companion plants, too. Ever-bearing strawberries Cilantro/Coriander Silver thyme Greek Oregano Golden Variegated Sage Chives Sweet Basil Borage Nastrium (may she rest in peace) Then my mother bought another tomato plant. So now I have three tomatoes (one is a cherry tomato). My compost pile came to life this spring, too, with many many squashes. Seeds from our dinners and decor last year have been springing up! And really, I think everyone should have a mystery squash pile--or as I call it, a Squash Pit. Now that the summer is rolling on we kind of know what's growing in the squash pit: 3 Acorn Squashes

One Turban Squash

One cantaloupe (I think, Jury's still out):

Please excuse the bad photoshop, I got irrationally freaked out about you seeing my bare feet in this photo, even blurred. So there I am, cut off at the calf.

AND, if all that weren't enough, I transplanted two baby squashes into a container a month or two ago and now they are--something.

Pumpkin? Baby Decor Pumpkin? some kind of round zuchinni? Anyway only time will tell. I'm also growing multicolored beets and multicolor carrots from seed. I'm very excited about those. I think I'm MOST excited that early this spring I really only expected to grow tomatoes, and now I'm bringing SO MANY MORE THINGS to life. I have a little bit of a scarcity/poverty/food security mindset, so having food come up out of the ground at you is incredible.

Since this is my first post and I guess I'll pin it for awhile, standard operating rules for this blog apply: --trans women are women --I'm not vegetarian, but I'm happy that you are --Dieting is bad. Eat more croissants. --I try to use organic solutions as possible, but nothing is hard and fast here. --My pronouns are she/her.

#squash #vegetables #garden #gardening #home garden #container garden #squash saga

[lifewithoutalu]

~*~ New article ~*~ Chicken, Acorn Squash, Golden Beet and Ginger Powder Let me ask you, who eats all the leftover baby food? I don't think anyone likes throwing away the good healthy dishes prepared for our babies with the freshest organic ingredients. I am in a phase where if someone tells me, "You should go to Mars to get the best vegetables & fruits for your kid", I will do that (well, or at least try). I am sure all parents feel the same way. The first few times I had Prisha's leftover purees and foods, I kept adding salt and pepper in them. But then I realized that she too needs to eat and experience all the wonderful flavors of spices. Adding a little bit of spice in baby foods really makes it so much more delicious. Mamas you should give Ginger a try, it makes food really flavorful. and if you want to try this recipe, you will find it in the 'Baby Foods' section of my blog Life Without Alu? - Chicken, Acorn Squash, Golden Beet and Ginger Powder Or click on my Instagram story and click on the link. or click on the below link: https://lifewithoutalu.blogspot.com/2022/02/chicken-acorn-squash-golden-beet-and.html . . #lifewithoutalu #homemade #babyfoodrecipes #babyfoodie #babyfoodideas #forthebabies #forbabies #forthebaby #forbaby #purée #purée #nutribullet #nutribulletrecipes #chicken #acornsquash #goldenbeets #ginger https://www.instagram.com/p/Ch5cgCEJ89r/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

#lifewithoutalu #homemade #babyfoodrecipes #babyfoodie #babyfoodideas #forthebabies #forbabies #forthebaby #forbaby #purée #nutribullet #nutribulletrecipes #chicken #acornsquash #goldenbeets #ginger

[shirkers2018dirsanditan]

thinking about what if i made a rice porridge/calabaza con leche combo for breakfast 🤔

#i would use this instant pot congee recipe i usually do but use squash instead of chicken and put salt and brown sugar #and then i would do 1/4 cup coconut milk and 1/4 whole milk w/ vanilla in a saucepan on the stove #and then pour the milk over the congee when it’s finished 🤔 #just a leetle bit of milk so it won’t be too watery but will give it richness and extra flavor #i think i might tbh #i finally cut up my acorn squash and put it in the freezer i still have to cut up the butternut

[pterribledinosaurdrawings]

I got a small squash from my parents garden and baked it with cranberries and it was good. The baking happened some days ago, so it's all eaten now.

Here is the recipe!

(It's copied & pasted from my main blog where I posted it last autumn, in case anyone recognizes my badly lit squash photos and thinks I stole them.)

This is how my parents always cook squash, and it is Very Good, 10/10 highly recommend. We usually use buttercup squash (not to be confused with butternut squash) but it works just the same with acorn squash.

First you should wash it. Then knock the stem off. The side where the stem was is typically flatter, and has much thicker walls, so that will be the bottom and you’ll treat the blossom end as the top.

Cut it open like you would a pumpkin for Halloween and scoop out the guts.

Into your empty squash place a spoonful or two of brown sugar, and a nice big piece of butter.

Fill the rest of the space with cranberries. As many as you can shove in there while still being able to close the lid.

Put the lid on and place it on a pan.

Bake at about 190 C (375 F) until it’s all nice and soft, which is usually an hour and a half for me, but it depends on the size of the squash. I stab it with a fork after the first hour to see how it’s doing.

Scoop it all out into a bowl and stir it up! (carefully, without burning yourself. Probably best to wait for it to cool a little.) When it’s cooked all the way through you can get pretty much every bit of squash out, and just have a paper thin empty squash skin left in the pan. Very nice. Much nicer than this photo makes it look.

It also works on butternut squash, but you’ll want to cut it lengthwise and cover it with foil for that.

#food #recipes #squash

[postwarlevi]

Happy Thanksgiving

Content: 1.2k words. Asking for help baking this dish turns into trouble.

"Hey, Levi?" You call quietly, standing in the doorway.

He doesn't answer, too preoccupied with piles of paperwork, sitting at his desk in his workroom.

"Sweetheart? I could use your help." You aren't trying to be annoying, knowing he needs to get this done, but it's an emergency.

Levi puts his pen down and sighs. Damn you and that term.

He pushes away from the desk and comes to stand in front of you, eyebrow raised.

"Just, can you just help me cut into them?" You wait for it.

"I showed you how-" He starts.

"It's too hard!" You almost cry.

Levi rolls his eyes and takes you by the hand, leading the way to the kitchen.

"I don't know why I have to help with this." He grumbles.

"Because! Because we're all going and everyone is making a dish and this is ours."

"Yours." He corrects you while you pout.

For the holiday you are having a friendsgiving get together. Everyone started claiming the traditional dishes, Jean called the turkey, Armin the cranberry sauce, Connie a green bean casserole, Sasha the mashed potatoes, Erwin a stuffing, and so on. You saw this great idea for a squash casserole and without even thinking put that down.

Now however, you wish you hadn't. The dish needs pumpkin, acorn and butternut squash, and you forgot how hard it is cutting them open. In fact, you never tried again since the first time.

But you couldn't change your mind now. The others thought it sounded great and stores were running out of things anyway.

"Thank you." You say to Levi, who with barely any effort already has the pumpkin in half. You start scooping out the seeds while he works on the butternut, your worst enemy.

He finishes the task you give him before you even get through the entire pumpkin and without a word goes back to his office.

You get the squash into the oven and start pulling out measuring cups for sugar and maple syrup and things to mix in, and forty minutes later you are meekly knocking on the door again.

"Hey, Levi-"

"What do you need?" This time he interrupts you.

"Can you help me scoop? They're really hot."

"So wait until they're not." Obviously.

"Well, I know, but everything is set to go in and the oven is still on..." You trail off, listing reasons.

Levi not so gently slams his pen back down and is heading to the kitchen again.

He knows, that you know, that he wants these papers done so he can actually relax for a bit, but instead you're delaying it. However, he's always told you to come to him for help. Which includes now.

The three squash are now in a large bowl with the other ingredients and you are mixing while Levi is buttering a pan, then helps you pour the mixture in.

"Anything else?" He's a little irritated, but at least it's done.

"No, I can finish the topping myself." You step forward, right in front of him.

"Okay." He says as you wrap your arms around him.

"Thank you." You say softly, feeling his arms around you.

"You're welcome." Holding you like this always helps his mood, even if it was your fault to begin with.

Levi kisses your forehead and is going back to finish when you call to him again.

"Yes?" He turns around, unsuspecting.

You scoop out a spoonful of leftovers and fling it at him, hitting his chest and watching it fall in a mess onto the floor.

Levi stands there with his eyes shut, trying to figure out if he even believes what you just did.

You however can't stop giggling.

"Are you serious?" He wants to know, making you laugh harder.

"I'm sorry, I'll clean it." You wet a paper towel and do your best to fix his shirt.

"After I just stopped my work to help you." Did you forget already?

"Levi, it's fine." It's a harmless joke.

"This is the thanks I get?" There's something in his voice you're not sure of.

"It's not that bad." You say as you lean over to wipe up the floor.

"So you say." Your eyes widen, because in an instant he has shoved his whole hand into the bowl and has sent you running for cover.

Without any regard for the kitchen, he throws what he can at you, having it smack into your neck.

"Ugh! Stop!" This is so much worse than what you did.

"Stay still!" He insists, opening up a container.

"What are you doing?!" You exclaim, seeing what he has.

"You love brown sugar so much? Have some!" He's got a hold of your shirt and is smearing it all in your hair.

You are left in tears partially from laughing as you try to get him back and a bit because you really are crying at the mess he's making.

You end up sitting on the floor trying to figure out if there's more of a mess on you or all over the kitchen. Flour, oats and even maple syrup have been used as weapons as well, also leaving you wondering if there's enough for the topping. Levi isn't nearly as bad off.

"Clean this up." He tells you.

"What?"

"This is your mess. I'm going to go shower." He says, already taking his shirt off. You can just consider this payback for forcing him into this.

"Are you kidding me!?" Now you really are crying.

He actually leaves you there, trying to figure out how to clean everything.

You whine and pout to no one, forcing yourself up to make the topping and get the pan back into the hot oven to finish.

Fifteen minutes later you've barely gotten anywhere with the scrubbing.

"Stop your sniffling." Levi has reappeared, hair wet and towel around his waist.

"I don't deserve this!" You cross your arms, feeling defeated. You are a sticky train wreck of food.

You are horrified when Levi chuckles. "It's not that bad."

"How dare you!" Use those words against you when it is very much so that bad!

He takes the cloth from you and leads you out of the kitchen.

"It's not that bad, because after we wash the sugar out of your hair, I'll help you clean." He says with that soft smile you love so much.

Oh. Well that's different. "Really?" You aren't sure if he's messing with you.

"You didn't think I'd just leave you there, did you?" You should know him better than that.

"I, wasn't sure." It seemed like he was going to.

"Besides, I need your help with paperwork." You are going to help make up for lost time.

"Okay." You easily agree to this, thankful that he really is always willing to help you.

You, him and the kitchen are spick and span in no time, and before sundown the paperwork is done as well.

Even if Levi might complain, he's thankful that you get him away from his desk and that food fights don't happen often.

The next day at friendsgiving, your dish is a hit.

Levi pretends he didn't hear you say you'll be making it again.

----------

a/n-good luck if you're baking! If anyone messed with this dish I really would cry cause it takes some work, but is really yummy!

#levi fluff #attack on titan #levi ackerman #aot #captain levi #captain levi ackerman #levi x reader #levi #aot fluff #levi ackerman fluff #levi fanfiction #captain levi x reader #levi ackerman x reader #maple winter squah #thanksgiving #friendsgiving #baking #baking wars #kitchen wars

[recurring-polynya]

Kiki’s Delivery Service Pumpkin-Herring Pie Baking Adventure

LOOK AT MY PIE!! BEHOLD IT!!!!!!

Project was a big success, I am extremely proud of myself, would do (and probably will) make again.

Details below the cut

There are numerous recipes for this pie online, but I chose this one by Sylvia Wakana, because it seemed like a good combination of simple and accurate to the setting. The recipe is a little light on detail, and it’s missing a few amounts. I am a pretty good baker, but I am not a great cook-- nevertheless, I was able to make my way through easily enough, and I will tell you what my measurements were as we go.

I definitely wanted to use a kabocha squash, because it’s my understanding that is what a Japanese person would mean when they said “pumpkin.” I am lucky to have an enormous international grocery store near by, so it was easy to procure one. If you can’t, I found it to be somewhere between a pie pumpkin and a butternut or acorn squash. Of the three, I find butternut by far the easiest to work with, so that is what I would use if I couldn’t find the kabocha.

The recipe says to steam it, but I wanted to roast mine because I roast squashes all the time and it seemed nicer. A tip I found suggested that kabocha can be hard to slice, and recommended roasting whole for 10 minutes to soften it up a little, which I did. I honestly have no idea if it helped, but I was able to hack it open without too much trouble. I rubbed each side in olive oil and sprinkled with salt and pepper, then roasted face down for 30 minutes. It was still a little firm, at that point, so I re-oiled and put it back for another 15. At the time, I worried that I had overbaked it. I make roasted butternut lasagna a lot, and the longer you roast a butternut, it will just get softer, but the kabocha sort of dried out-- I am guessing it has less moisture. So, in retrospect, I probably would have only put it back for another 5 or maybe not at all. 

Oh, here’s another tip! Whenever I am making a recipe with a roast squash, I roast the squash early in the day. On one hand, it’s a bit of a waste of oven heat, but on the other, it breaks up the cooking, and it also breaks up a time dependency. My kid doesn’t like dinner to be late, and a squash that is taking too long to roast and push your entire timeline back. Also, if you roast it ahead of time, you don’t burn your fingers trying to get it out of the rind!

Anyway, so the next step was to sautee some onion and mix in the squash. The moisture from the onion helped a little, but it was still looking pretty grainy. When, I added the Béchamel sauce, though, it mixed up soft an creamy! Whew!

The recipe recommends Swedish-style canned herring, and I wasn’t able to find any. Sardines are technically just young herring, and all things I found labeled “canned herring” just seemed like sardines to me (you probably could use sardines, I am sure it would work). I had seen jarred herring before, and I just felt like it would work better than sardines. Now, at this point (this is earlier in the week), I told Mr. P that I was going to buy jarred herring and he insisted that it was pickled and I said I didn’t think it was. I went to the grocery story. I had a choice of herring in cream sauce or wine sauce. Neither of them had the word “pickled” on the label. I bought the cream sauce because I thought it would be better with the recipe. Was it pickled? Yes, as it turns out, which I did not know until I actually ate the pie. The ingredients on the jar are listed as “herring (herring, vinegar, etc)” so I guess you are just supposed to know (or possibly listen to your husband, but that seems awful). Anyway, it turned out fine, I’ll get to that at the end. FYI, the jar of herring + sauce was 12oz. 

I went for Swiss as my cheese. Now, I get these same packets of shredded cheese in cheddar and mozzarella all the time, and they are 8oz, but the Swiss was 6oz for some reason. 

At this point, I was ready to start assembling. I rolled out my puff pastry (I used storebought, I have never made my own puff pastry and I don’t like to have too many unknowns in one project). I thought the puff pastry would be 9x13, or possibly larger, and was planning to bake this in my casserole. It was not, it was a square. I pulled out my 9x9 casserole instead, and, as it happened, everything fit very nicely inside, so that was serendipitous. 

A note about puff pastry! The instructions on the box said to take it out of the freezer 40 minutes before using, but I was doing some reading on puff pastry this morning and every single webpage said to put it in the fridge the night before. I stuck it in the fridge at maybe 9 this morning, and I took it out at the time I was finishing up the Béchamel sauce (this is also when I started pre-heating the oven) and it worked out great.

I ended up using one sheet of puff pastry to cover the pie and about half of the other to make decorations (I baked up the rest to eat with strawberries and ice cream as dessert). My puff pastry didn’t stick to itself very well, so I used the egg wash as glue during the assembly, which worked like a charm.

The sheet of pastry was just a teensy bit bigger than my dish, just perfect for folding down the edge and doing a little decorative crimp. I drew the fish on paper (while looking at a still from the movie) and then cut it out and used it as a stencil. I did the fins separately, which I think was a good call, because I think they puffed more that way. I have some tiny cookie cutters for doing pie decorations, which is where the stars came from. 

The recipe said it would bake for 25-30-- mine took 35. I probably should have had the rack higher-- I had put it in low to roast the squash. Oh, well, it came out fine.

So, how did it taste? Well, let’s talk about that pickled herring. There aren’t that many strong flavors in this, and I actually think it would have been a little bland if I hadn’t used the pickled herring. My husband and son love vinegar (my husband notoriously drank pickle brine from the jar as a child) and they both thought this pie was delicious. I am pretty vinegar sensitive, but the squash, cheese and pastry worked pretty well to counter the fish, so the overall effect pretty nice. The squash was mild and sweet, and did not taste dry at all in the final product. My daughter, much like the grandchild in the movie, did not care for the pie, but that was not unexpected (she got a quesadilla). 

I would definitely make this again as is-- it might be nice to use a stronger cheese, like Gruyere, especially if I tried it with non-pickled herring. I also think it would be really tasty to make this with salmon instead of herring, swapping the squash for a leek and potato base, maybe with some dill. 

It took a long time to make, but nothing about it was particularly hard. I had intended to make it in the fall or winter, but the second best time to plant a tree is right now, as they say. It’s coming up on spring here, but it did get pretty chilly this evening and it was a warm and cozy meal. A+.

#kiki's delivery service #pumpkin herring pie #yatta!! #i forgot to take a picture of the inside but it wasn't particularly impressive #just yummy

[anarchopuppy]

The most successful plant in my garden right now is a volunteer acorn squash that came from our compost, which is out back in the designated nightshade (pepper/tomato) plot and doing way better than its cousins in the gourd (melon/squash) plot up front, and it’s got me thinking

What if, instead of starting or sowing seeds in carefully picked places, trying to figure out what goes best where based on light and soil and so on, I just dumped a bunch of seeds of all the plants I want to grow into my composter a few weeks before planting season (to break down the casing and start to germinate them) and then spread it evenly over my entire growing space? Just let them compete naturally so each bit of land goes to the plant most suited for it, possibly thinning it out to only the healthiest-looking plants after everything’s established. A fully voluntary garden, if you will

The one downside I can think of is you wouldn’t know based on position what’s a crop and what’s a weed, so if you’re not experienced enough to either recognize every type of plant you want to grow or every type of weed in your area then things might get confusing. But otherwise, this sounds very easy and very deliciously permaculture, assuming it would work (and it feels simple enough that surely someone has tried it before?)

@systlin

#permaculture #gardening #farming #solarpunk #plantblr #tagging systlin bc she seems like the person most likely to have heard of something like this if it's been done before #or to have opinions about it if it hasn't

[waynedunlaptheorgandonor]

anyway. as a birthday gift for @peletiersdixon i dipped back into the scrap metal universe for a hot second to bring you all a tumblr exclusive oneshot. it’s technically an au bc it’s if gas gauge never happened, but i don’t know how an au of an au works (technically it would make this a non-za au of my non-za twd au that ended up having a za in it, asljfdsl), so let’s just not think too hard about it. also i got to use emojis!

hope you enjoy it, friend. ilu desperately, and happy birthday!

September 6th

(11:53p) -happy (official) birthday bb girl!!🎂-

(11:54p) //Thank you.//

(11:55p) -how does it feel 2 b 18?-

(11:56p) //Considerably similar to being 17.//

(11:57p) -ya but now ur an adult!-

(11:58p) //Seems arbitrary given that essentially nothing has changed about me from whom I was six minutes ago, but at least now I can vote or whatever.//

(11:59p) -thts the spirit-

(11:59p) -ilu so much n i cant believe ur so old-

(11:59p) -v proud of u n the person uve become-

(12:00a) //Thank you. I love you, too. Now please go take your sappy emotions and harass Jesse with them instead. Consider it a birthday present.//

(12:01a) -ur rite-

(12:01a) -not much abt u has changed-

(12:02a) //¯\_(ツ)_/¯//

(12:02a) -lol u lil shit-

(12:02a) -luv u-

(12:02a) //You already said that.//

(12:05a) -watch ur tone or i'll say it again-

(12:06a) //Go to bed, dad.//

(12:06a) //Thanks for the kind sentiments etc.//

(12:07a) -always-

(12:07a) -c u in the morning bb girl-

*

(11:53p) *Happy happy birthday to my first born! 🥳🥳🥳*

(11:53p) *18 years ago today you caused me excruciating pain and immense joy all in the span of a few seconds!*

(11:54p) //Seems about on brand.//

(11:54p) //Apologies for any damage done to your reproductive system whilst entering the world. Although I didn't have much say in it, so that's more on you than me.//

(11:55p) *That's alright, it's your brother who tried to kill me.*

(11:55p) *I love you both anyway.*

(11:55p) *How's 18 feeling?*

(11:56p) //Great. I just picked up a pack of cigarettes and a bunch of lotto tickets.//

(11:57p) *As long as you pay for your own lung cancer treatment and share any winnings then I'm cool with it.*

(11:57p) *Double chocolate fudge cake tomorrow?*

(11:58p) //Triple chocolate if you can manage it.//

(11:59p) *Noted and logged. Love you, sweet potato.*

(12:00a) //Love you, too, acorn squash. I'm going to finish this essay now.//

(12:01a) *Fair enough. I'll go fuss over your brother and leave you be.*

(12:02a) //You're going to leave me be? How'd you know exactly what I wanted this year??//

(12:03a) *Mother's intuition.*

(12:03a) *Smartass. ❤️*

*

(11:53p) >Happy birthday, Einstein! 🤓<

(11:53p) ~happy bird date, almost birthday twin!~

(11:53p) ~bread dump.~

(11:53p) ~bishop dalliance.~

(11:53p) ~happy thing, josie.~

(11:54p) //You realize your autocorrect problems could be fixed in about 30 seconds by just going into your settings and turning it off, right?//

(11:55p) ~yeah but after all these years? i'm kind of attached to it. it's who i am.~

(11:56p) //Unfortunate.//

(11:56p) >Don't take the joy of Glenn's autocorrect away from us, party pooper.<

(11:57p) //"Joy" seems subjective in this case, but alright.//

(11:57p) //Anyway, thank you for the birthday wishes, Uncle Rick. And thank you for whatever the fuck that was meant to be, Uncle Glenn.//

(11:58p) ~you're old now. are you feeling the weight of time pressing down upon you? how are your knees? your lower back?~

(11:59p) //So far so good.//

(12:00a) >Are your parents having a mental breakdown about you and your brother being legal adults?<

(12:00a) ~and by parents we mostly mean your father.~

(12:01a) //Very likely, but thankfully they're keeping it to themselves.//

(12:02a) ~for what it's worth, /i'm/ having a bit of a crisis over it.~

(12:02a) >Same.<

(12:03a) //Thank you in advance for also keeping it to yourself.//

(12:03a) //Go shower Jesse with attention now. He'll appreciate it more, and I have a paper to finish.//

(12:05a) >Love you, kid.<

(12:05a) ~seconded.~

(12:06a) //Love you, too. Goodbye.//

(12:07a) >I could cry from all the emotion in this group chat. 😢<

(12:07a) ~tell me about it. i'm practically bawling.~

(12:08a) //You silenced the chat//

*

(11:54p) //My first act as an adult is filing a petition with the courts to let me legally secede from this family. From you specifically.//

(11:53p) \\BIRTHDAY!! IT'S YOUR BIRTHDAY!! LOOK HOW OLD MY BIG SISTER IS SHE'S FUCKING ANCIENT!! WOOO!! PARTY PARTY PARTY!!!!!!🥳🎂❤️🎊🎉💓💝🥰\\

(11:55p) \\Liar. You'd never. You lurvv me. We were wombmates, that bonds unbreakable, so sucks to suck!\\

(11:56p) \\Btw have you opened your desk drawer yet?\\

(11:57p) //...No. Why?//

(11:58p) \\Birthday present. Do it do it do it!!!\\

(11:59p) //...//

(12:00a) //GODDAMNIT, JESSE.//

(12:00a) //I knew I shouldn't have trusted you.

(12:00a) //That scared the shit out of me.//

(12:00a) //Literal sparks flew.//

(12:00a) //How'd you even get a party popper to go off like that?//

(12:01a) \\I will never tell you my secrets.\\

(12:02a) //Just for that I'm not going to tell you happy birthday.//

(12:02a) \\Nooo! You have to!\\

*

September 7th

(12:03a) -happy birthday bb boy!! 🎂-

(12:04a) \\Ayyyyyy!!! Thank you! I'm so old now, you know what that means?\\

(12:04a) \\It means you're even older.\\

(12:04a) \\What's up, old man? 👴 Your kids are adults. Should I buy you a cane?\\

(12:05a) -mite not b able 2 give u 2 an orphanage anymore but i can kick u out of my house w/out getting arrested 4 child abuse so watch urself-

(12:06a) \\Old man statement retracted. You are a beacon of youth and beauty.\\

(12:07a) -damn strait-

(12:07a) -luv u kid-

(12:08a) \\Love you too daddy-o.\\

(12:08a) \\You're welcome for being blessed with such a fantastic and glorious son.\\

(12:09a) -tht credit goes 2 ur momma i think-

(12:10a) \\So you admit I am fantastic and glorious?\\

(12:11a) -there nvr was any doubt kiddo-

(12:12a) \\ 🥺🥺🥺\\

(12:12a) \\Luhh u.\\

(12:13a) -luhh u2-

(12:13a) -more than u kno ❤️-

*

(12:03a) *Happy birthday to my second born! 🥳🥳🥳*

(12:03a) *18 years ago today you almost murdered me! I forgave you pretty quick tho, cuz you had a pretty cute face.*

(12:04a) \\Ummm excuse me? What do you mean by HAD a pretty cute face??\\

(12:05a) *Sorry kid, looks are the first thing to go with age *

(12:06a) \\Ah well. At least I have my stunning personality. 💅\\

(12:07a) *That's certainly one word for it.*

(12:08a) \\Not loving this birthday wish so far mother. Cmon now, spice it up, you can do better.\\

(12:09a) *Yes yes, my apologies.*

(12:09a) *Ahem.*

(12:09a) *HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY GREATLY ADORED SON WHOM I LOVE WITH MY EVERYTHING AND AM SO PROUD OF!!!*

(12:10a) \\Almost perfect, but retract that cute face comment, I've decided that I need my looks AND my stunning personality.\\

(12:10a) \\Besides, don't I look like you?\\

(12:11a) *Oh shit, you're right.*

(12:11a) *HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY GREATLY ADORED SON, THE CUTEST FACED PERSON YOU'VE EVER SEEN!!!*

(12:12a) \\There you go.\\

(12:12a) \\Thank you momma. Love you.\\

(12:13a) *I love you too, Jesse. Happy birthday.*

*

(12:00a) \\HAPPY BIRTHDAY, UNCLE BIRTHDAY TWIN! 🥳🎈🥰🎂🎊🎉💓💝❤️\\

(12:00a) \\I NEVER CAN REMEMBER WHAT TIME YOU SAID YOU WERE BORN AT SO MIDNIGHT WILL HAVE TO DO!\\

(12:01a) \\ALSO HI OFFICER UNCLE! 👮‍♂️\\

(12:03a) ~not fair, you knew i was waiting until your actual birth time.~

(12:03a) ~which is right now.~

(12:03a) ~happy birthday, barf day twin!~

(12:03a) >So close and yet so far.<

(12:03a) >Anyway. Happy birthday, Picasso! 🎨<

(12:04a) \\Lololol remember that year when we bet each other we could finish an entire birthday cake just the two of us Uncle Birthday Twin??\\

(12:05a) ~ugh.~

(12:05a) ~talk about barf day. 🤮~

(12:06a) >Here's hoping your autocorrect isn't prophetic.<

(12:07a) ~fingers crossed. 🤞🏻🤞🏻🤞🏻~

(12:07a) >How's it feel to be an adult, kid?<

(12:08a) \\You can't ask me what it's like to be an adult and then call me kid. I am a MAN. A Strong and Powerful MAN. 💪\\

(12:09a) ~i say this with nothing but love and affection, but when i came over the other day you went on a twenty minute ramble about how "color theory is dope as hell" and then teared up because you started thinking about how dogs are colorblind.~

(12:10a) \\Woooowww ok, I didn't realize it wasn't Strong and Powerful for a MAN to express his emotions.\\

(12:10a) >Smdh. You've grown so conservative in your old age, Glenn. Letting toxic masculinity take over.<

(12:11a) ~aaaah! you're right you're right you're right! you're very strong and powerful man, jesse! embrace your emotions! don't be afraid to show vulnerability!~

(12:12a) >Although you could maybe share some of those emotions with your sister.<

(12:22a) \\Sorry got distracted.\\

(12:22a) \\But nah I think I ate all Joey's emotions in the womb. That's ok, she's a Strong and Powerful WOMAN 💪 who like, will either be a world famous astronomer or will end up serving life prison for the world's first homicide-by-death-glare.\\

(12:22a) \\It's a toss up.\\

(12:23a) \\I wonder how you'd prosecute a case like that. You couldn't get her to replicate it because what if it killed someone else?\\

(12:23a) \\Wait, what were we talking about?\\

(12:24a) >Rofl, how does it feel to be an adult?<

(12:25a) \\Oh yeah!\\

(12:25a) \\Idk, about the same. Cake tho. And party time. Y'all in?\\

(12:26a) ~wouldn't miss it.~

(12:27a) >See you and your sister after work tomorrow.<

(12:27a) ~assuming she hasn't killed anyone.~

(12:28a) \\I'm sure Officer Uncle could pull some strings. Keep her from getting arrested at least until after we've blown out candles.\\

(12:29a) >I'll see what I can do.<

(12:29a) >Happy birthday, bud.<

(12:9a) ~we love you, weirdo.~

(12:30a) \\Love you too!!! 🥰\\

*

(12:02a) \\Joey!!!\\

(12:03a) \\Joey it's my birthday now, tell me happy birthday!! I'm sorry I made your desk drawer explode!! 😞😞😞\\

(12:03a) \\I told YOU happy birthday!\\

(12:04a) \\IT'S BEEN MY BIRTHDAY FOR A WHOLE MINUTE AND YOU HAVEN'T SAID ANYTHING!!\\

(12:05a) \\ 😭😭😭😭 \\

(12:06a) \\I'm never going to forgive you.\\

(12:08a) \\I'm gonna put jelly on the door handles of your car.\\

(12:10a) \\Ok now this is just mean.\\ 

(12:13a) \\I'm going go get into bed and cry myself to sleep because my sister doesn't love mahdjsieka\\

(12:13a) \\BRO WHAT THE FUCK.\\

(12:13a) \\WHAT IS HAPPENING.\\

(12:13a) \\HOW MANY DIFFERENT ALARMS DID YOU HIDE IN HERE???\\

(12:21a) \\Ok I think I got them all.\\

(12:21a) \\Well played.\\

(12:21a) \\Tho even if you did it to lull me into a false sense of security you still technically didn't wish me a happy birthday on time so you're still the worst and you owe me.\\

(12:22a) //Time is relative, bitch. Go to sleep.✌️//

(12:23a) \\Happy birthday Joey.\\

(12:23a) //Happy birthday, Jesse.//

(12:23a) //Have fun finding the rest of the alarms.//

(12:24a) \\What?\\

(12:24a) \\Joey what? That's so ominous, where are they when are they going to go off??\\

(12:24a) \\Josie G Dixon what alarms are you talking about???\\

(12:25a) //joey💖 silenced the chat//

#ngl #i miss scrap metal and these dumb fucking kids #nice to revisit if only for a bit #caryl fic #scrap metal #dunlap writes shit

[snowdice]

Big Bang (Sort of) Editing Story [Day 67]

I started writing this fic while editing my Big Bang story, but am going to continue doing it for other things now that Kill Dear is out. I will write and publish 100 words of the story every time I finish doing whatever task I’m doing. If you’d like to block these proceedings, please feel free to block the tag proofread stories. I will reblog this post with the parts of the story I do today. Edited chapters are linked; everything else I’ve done so far is under the cut.

My Master Post Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10 Part 11 Part 12 Part 13 Part 14 Part 15 Part 16 Part 17 Part 18 Part 19 Part 20 Part 21 Part 22 Part 23 Part 24 Part 25 Part 26 Part 27 Part 28 Part 29 Part 30

Got many things to do today, though I do have a meeting in a bit over an hours, so there will be a break.

Chapter 31

Logan waited for a while after Patton left to check on Virgil, but the two never resurfaced. It was odd, Patton would usually remember to come back and get Logan or at least tell them where they were. With a sigh, Logan climbed to his feet to go find them. It took him a while to weave his way through the maze of bushes to them especially because they were suspiciously quiet (Well, suspicious for Patton. Virgil was often unnervingly quiet when alone.) Luckily, he knew the bushes enough after all of these years not to get lost and managed to find the two after a few minutes.

“Ah,” he said, immediately identifying the reason for Patton disappearing.

 “Logan!” Patton said, his voice excited, but also quieter than normal. “We found a kitty!”

“I can see that,” Logan responded, taking a step closer. The cat hissed at him in response. The hissing was so intense and wild that he’d suspect the thing was feral if it wasn’t happily on Virgil’s lap having had it’s head in Patton’s lap before Logan had approached.

“No,” Virgil told the animal as though it could understand words. “That’s Logan. Be nice.”

The cat still glared at him and swished it’s tail back and forth threateningly. Virgil pet the top of it’s head and it broke eye contact with Logan to purr.

 Patton seemed delighted by the purring, reaching to stroke under the thing’s chin carefully. “We should give her a name!” Patton said.

Virgil frowned. “I thought her name was Ghost Kitty.”

“That is ‘Ghost Kitty’?” Logan asked skeptically. From what Patton had said about that cat, it was terrified of people and no one could ever get near it, even him. Now it was in Virgil’s lap?

“But that was a temporary name,” Patton said, “for before we officially met her. Now we have to give her a real name.”

“Do not give it a name,” Logan said. “You will get attached.”

 “How do you name a cat?” Virgil asked.

“Do not name it,” Logan said.

“You give them names based on their personalities, how they look, or even just because it’s a cute name,” Patton explained. “Like, remember Mittens? I named her Mittens because she has white fur and black paws!”

Virgil looked at the cat. “She’s completely black,” he said.

Patton hummed. “So, we could give her a name based on that like Midnight or Shadow.”

“Those are fine,” Virgil said.

“No, no,” Patton said. “I’m just giving you examples. You get to name her yourself.”

“This is a bad idea,” Logan said.

 “Just throw out some names,” Patton said. “Anything you can think of.”

“Uh,” Virgil said. “Knife.”

“…Just Knife?” Patton asked.

“Nightmare.” Virgil seemed to think about it. “No, that’s mean.”

“How about things you like?” Patton suggested.

“Alfredo?”

Oh no, Logan thought, he was worse than Patton at cat naming.

“Good start,” Patton said. “Logan, do you have any suggestions.”

“Cat,” Logan said.

“Real suggestions,” Patton scolded.

Logan sighed and thought for a moment. “Aphrodite.”

“Catphrodite!”

Logan glared at him. “Helena.”

“Helenpaw.”

“Claudia.”

“Clawdia.”

“Persephone.”

Patton smiled at him, cheerfully.

“…Damnit!”

Patton turned to Virgil again. “Like that! They don’t even have to be serious. Like, uh, you could name her Madam Fluffywuffykins the Great!”

“Do not name her that,” Logan said, scrunching up his nose.

 Logan sat on the ground, the cat eyeing him, but no longer hissing. Logan gently guided them towards more sensible names despite Patton trying his hardest to drag them into stupidity.

Virgil still didn’t quite get it. He mostly tried to name it after foodstuff, and often not even appropriate foodstuff such as “Corn” and “Acorn Squash” and “Sandwich” and occasionally would drop in semi violent ones such as “Razor,” “Nightshade” and “Void.” Patton suggested names like “Fluffers,” “Bobette” and “Darling” as well as some that were puns. Logan tried to direct them towards more sensible ones like “Salem” and even went so low as to suggest the contrary “Snowball.”

 It quickly seemed to become less about actually naming the cat and more of a game. Patton had taught Virgil about playing with cats and had even gotten out a ball of yarn he cared around for his crafts. Both Virgil and the cat seemed to find endless entertainment with that. Logan hoped Patton had another ball of yarn that color because, he was never going to get that ball back.

The barrage of names fizzled out into naming things around them like “Leaf” and “Bush” until they stopped suggesting names altogether. Patton and Logan sat back and watched Virgil play with the cat.

 Logan watched as they stopped playing suddenly and Virgil and the cat squinted at each other. “Marisol,” Virgil said, pulling the name out of nowhere. “That’s her name.” He said it with a certainty that was surprising considering how he’d treated the naming process with confusion and caution earlier. If Logan did not know better, his tone of voice would indicate that the cat, or Marisol he guessed, had gotten bored of them coming up with stupid names and decided to tell him her actual name herself.

The cat made a sound and batted at Virgil’s face without claws to grab back his attention.

 He turned back to it and bopped its face with a finger in kind. It attacked his finger, but in a clearly playful matter as it still did not extend it’s claws and its teeth did not draw blood.

“That’s a great name, Virgil,” Patton said.

“Much more pleasant than any that Patton suggested all afternoon,” Logan said. He received an elbow to the side for his quip.

“A pretty name for a pretty kitty,” Patton said, scooting over to where Virgil was sat and attempting to pet Marisol’s head. Marisol, however, was too keyed up and batted at the hand.

 “I love you too!” Patton said.

Logan rolled his eyes, but he had long since resigned himself to watching the two of them play with and coo over the cat for the rest of the day.

Eventually, though, it started to get darker. Even after Logan pointed this out, it still took over an hour for them to relent and leave the bush maze to go to the door. The problem was of course, that the cat had managed to grow very attached to Virgil in the last few hours and she followed them all the way to the door with manipulatively heart breaking mews.

 “You’ve got to stay out here,” Virgil said, when they got to the castle door. He pet her ear softly and she shoved her head into his hand. “I’m sorry. I don’t have anywhere to put you.” He sounded horribly sad about that fact and Logan felt himself shift uncomfortably. “I basically live in a closet and Logan doesn’t like cats in his room anyway.”

Logan immediately felt unreasonably guilty, probably more so because Logan did not think Virgil was trying to make him feel guilty. “…Bring the dammed thing inside.”

Virgil blinked up at him. “What?”

“It will get cold soon anyway,” Logan said.

He frowned at Logan from where he was crouched. “But you don’t like fur in your room…”

“I will have to find a potion that works,” he said with a sigh, “and we’ll have to say it’s mine to the guards and Father since it will be staying in my room, but it is yours in every other way. That means you are going to feed it, clean it, and clean up after it.”

Virgil nodded immediately and swooped Marisol up in his arms. The cat went without complaint. “Thank you!” he said. “I love her.”

“I know you do,” Logan said, already regretting it already. Yet, he couldn’t bring himself to even consider recanting the offer considering how happy Virgil seemed to be. They had a cat now, he guessed.

  Chapter 32

“What are you doing?” Helen asked a few minutes after her son walked into the kitchen and started looking around as though he were trying to find something. It was a few hours into the afternoon, and she and a few workers were already prepping for dinner.

“Uh,” Patton said. “Have you seen Virgil?”

“No,” Helen said. “Why.”

“Er… Logan and I sorta, lost him,” Patton said. He was wringing his hands anxiously. Helen put down the knife in her hand.

“What do you mean you lost him?” she asked.

“Well, see, we were trying to teach him how to play hide and seek, um, but then we didn’t think to tell him that he eventually had to come out if we didn’t find him, and now we haven’t seen him since breakfast.”

 “He didn’t know what tag is?” she asked. That was just one more thing to add to the list of why Helen worried about Virgil and where he came from. Every morsel of information she’d managed to wring from Patton despite his evasions made her lists of concerns grow larger, even little things like him not knowing about simple childhood games. Actually, thinking of concerning things having to do with Virgil. “Wait, so he hasn’t eaten lunch.”

“Um, we don’t know that,” Patton’s mouth said while his eyes said ‘no.’

“He needs to be on a consistent diet, especially when he’s still taking the malnutrition potion,” she scolded.

 “I know, Mama, I know,” Patton said. “I’m trying to find him. I’d kinda hoped he’d gotten hungry and snuck down here. He probably wouldn’t want to risk being caught stealing food though.”

Helen grimaced. Yet another concerning thing.

“Wait! I have an idea, I’ll be right back.” Patton turned and ran out of the room. Helen frowned at the space he’d been and finished chopping the carrot on the cutting board in front of her. If it had been any other person in the castle missing, Helen wouldn’t have worried, but she had literally never seen Virgil without Patton and/or Logan by his side. Even when he’d gone to help Jeff can some fruit, Logan had reportedly hung around to read a book.

 Considering that Logan had never exactly been clingy even with Patton, she imagined that either Virgil asked, or Logan thought he should stay with him for his comfort. So, she was surprised that he was apparently hidden away somewhere in the castle where neither of the other kids could find him.

Still thinking about this, she walked over to the entrance to the cellar below the kitchen where they stored most of the vegetables, planning to grab some more carrots. She was confused for a moment when she heard movement from deeper in the pantry. She reached over and touched the panel near the door that controlled the magic lights.

 The newly illuminated figure startled as the lights came on, whipping around to stare at her with wide eyes.

“Virgil?” she asked.

“Sorry,” he said immediately, taking a step back.

“It’s fine,” she said immediately, “but what are you doing here?”

He considered her for a long moment, but apparently, she passed some sort of mental test, because he relaxed, at least as much as he’d ever relaxed in her presence. “Where are we?” he asked.

Her brow knit together. “The cellar under the kitchen,” she said, “You don’t know that?”

He shook his head.

“The only entrance is from the kitchen.” Now that she thought about it, she hadn’t seen him go through the kitchen at any point.

 “No, it’s not,” Virgil said. “There’s a tunnel.”

“A-a tunnel?” she asked. Actually, taking a closer look at him, he seemed a bit grimy. He had dust all over his front and dirt on his nose. She thought he might even have a couple of cobwebs in his hair.

“Yep,” he said.

“Where’s the tunnel?” she asked.

“It’s right over here,” he said. He took a couple of steps and pointed to the ground. There was an open square hole there that clearly had been made a long time ago but which she had never noticed in all of her time working here.

 “How did you find this?” she asked.

“We were playing hide and seek,” Virgil explained. “Logan said I could hide anywhere inside the castle. I hid on top of a dresser upstairs in some unused sitting room. There was a hole in the wall above it, so I climbed into it. Then, I crawled a little bit and it let out into a hidden passage in the walls. I wandered around in it until I found another hole in one of the walls. I thought it was a way out, so I squeezed into it, but it took me to a different hallway where I found an old room. There was a different hole in that room that had probably been covered by something because it was in the floor but whatever it was had rotted away. I crawled though it into a tunnel and came out here.”

 She couldn’t help but laugh a bit at his explanation. “Well, it sounds like you went on an adventure,” she said, “but Patton and Logan have been trying to find you. You missed lunch.”

He tilted his head at her. “I know. I was supposed to hide.”

“Yes,” she explained, “but you are supposed to come out at some point if they can’t find you for things like food.”

“Oh,” he said.

“They probably should have explained,” she said. “For now, why don’t we get you something to eat? You must be hungry.”

Virgil frowned. “But I missed lunch.”

“You can still eat even though it’s not in normal hours,” she said. “You could even if you had made it to lunch.”

 “Really?” he asked, he looked tragically confused by this offer.

“Of course, sweetie,” she said. “In fact, I insist you get something good to eat right now. How about I made you a grilled ham and cheese sandwich? Maybe some cookies too!”

Virgil titled his head. “You are Patton’s mother,” he stated.

Helen laughed softly. “He gets its all from me,” she said. “We should probably go find him and tell him you’re okay. He was worried.”

“I didn’t mean to worry him,” Virgil said with a frown.

“I know,” Helen said. “It’s okay. He’ll probably laugh when he figures out where you’ve been, and Logan will interrogate you all about the secret passageways.” He seemed happy about the prospect of seeing his friends. “Come on, let’s go upstairs for a bit,” she said.

  Chapter 33

Patton’s mom had already made Virgil sit down at the small table in the corner of the kitchen and had handed him a sandwich by the time Patton barreled into the kitchen, Logan coming after him at a more sedate pace.

“Virgil!” he said, sounding surprised and relieved.

“Patton,” Patton’s mom scolded. “No cats in the kitchen.” Patton had brought Marisol in with him and had let her go as soon as he’d seen Virgil. She immediately plodded over to him and hoped onto the table to sniff at his face in greeting.

“But she’s the princess!” Patton argued.

“No,” Logan said.

 “Yes, she is!” Patton said.

“The stupid cat is not a princess.”

“Don’t be mean to your little sister, Logan.”

“I regret every life decision that has led me to this point.”

While Logan and Patton were distracted squabbling and Patton’s mom was distracted watching them squabble, Virgil tore off a bit of the ham in his sandwich and offered it to Marisol. Marisol gracefully took it from his grip and ate it.

“So, this is Logan’s new cat I’ve been hearing about?” Patton’s mom asked.

“Indeed,” Logan said, his lips thinned. He and Marisol were mostly amicable when alone with just them and Virgil, but Patton had a habit of cooing over the kitten and needling Logan into being irritated.

 “Mmm, yeah,” Patton’s mom said. She glanced over at Virgil right as Marisol basically slammed her face into his chin in a bid to get pets. “Your cat.” She shook her head. “But Princess Kitten or not, I do not want fur in dinner,” she said.

“Sorry,” Patton said, honestly not sounding sorry at all. Virgil was always a bit surprised when the insolent shrug garnered nothing more that a scowl that did not reach Patton’s mom’s eyes. “I thought she could help me find Virgil, but you already found him.” He turned to Virgil. “Where have you been all day?”

 “Found a tunnel,” Virgil said. He had to use one hand to hold Marisol back from his sandwich as he took another bite, but then gave her a bite of cheese.

“You found what?” Logan asked.

“There’s a tunnel under the cellar,” Virgil said. “It goes to an old closed up room and also to a set of secret passageways.” It was a bit of a security risk honestly, though clearly no one had used it in years by how dirty it was. He did plan to go back into it and make sure the sprawling tunnels didn’t go to anywhere more dangerous like the royal wing.

 “A closed-up room?” Logan said. He could see a bit of curiosity already building in his eyes.

“Yeah,” Virgil said. “Where the door used to be seemed like it had been bricked over.”

“Really? Can you show me.”

“Sure,” Virgil answered.

“Ah, perhaps we should be a bit more cautious about climbing through random tunnels we don’t know the stability of,” Patton’s mom said.

Logan’s frown edged on a pout.

“Talk to your father,” she said. “I’m sure he can get someone who understands these things so you can safely investigate.”

“It was safe enough for Virgil,” Logan pointed out.

 “No, Logan.”

He sighed but seemed to concede. That was another strange thing about living here. By all rights Logan didn’t have to obey anyone except the king, but he often listened to those around him, not just the adults but Patton as well. It was interesting though it sometimes made the hierarchy hard to figure out. Virgil did sometimes stress out about the hypothetical situation where he got conflicting orders from two people, and he wouldn’t know which one to obey. So far it hadn’t been a problem luckily. They always seemed to work it out amongst themselves in some give and take social interaction that was a bit too complex for him to understand.

 Patton walked over to where Virgil was sitting. “I’m glad your safe,” he said. “We should probably put a time limit on hide and seek in the future, so you know when to come out.”

“Did I win?” Virgil asked. He’d honestly forgotten they’d been playing a game until Patton’s mom had asked how he’d found his way into the cellar.

Patton laughed. “I’d say so, yeah,” he replied. He leaned over to kiss Virgil’s forehead, but drew back immediately with a pinched expression. “You are… very dirty,” he said, rubbing his mouth.

Virgil nodded. “Your mom made me sit on a tablecloth,” he said gesturing to the fabric she’d laid over the chair.

 Patton snorted out a laugh. “We’ll get you into the bath when you’re done eating and you can tell us all about your little adventure.”

“I would also like to hear about your discoveries,” Logan said. “Though you are not allowed to sit on the bed until you do not have spider webs in your hair.”

Patton’s eyes widened and he jumped away from Virgil, startling both Virgil and Marisol. The latter hopped from the table onto Virgil’s lap. “Spiders?!”

Virgil tilted his head at him in confusion.

“He isn’t a fan of spiders,” Logan informed him, his voice amused at Patton’s reaction.

 Apparently deciding that she was no longer startled, but more confused by the noises Patton had just made, Marisol jumped out of Virgil’s lap to investigate, wrapping her way around Patton’s legs. He bent down to pat her back, though he still looked a bit startled.

“Your cat, huh?” Patton’s mom asked Logan once again. Virgil studied her. She had apparently missed Logan mentioning that he allowed Virgil on the bed. Or perhaps Logan was correct in his insistence that it wasn’t actually that big of a deal here. Virgil would rather not test that assumption, however, so was glad that it had been distracted from by Patton’s outburst.

 “Creepy, crawly death dealers,” Patton mumbled into Marisol’s fur, having picked her back up. Virgil made a note to not inform Patton of all of the different types of spiders he’d seen skittering around in the castle walls today. Maybe he’d talk about them with Logan once Patton left. He’d probably be interested. Virgil had seen some he’d never seen before! Logan probably could even help him figure out what their names were. “You’ll protect me, won’t you kitty?” Patton asked Marisol.

She made a little ‘burrrr’ sound in response, which Patton seemed to take a confirmation.

“Aw thank you, baby! Such a good baby.”

50234

Virgil popped the rest of the sandwich into his mouth. Patton’s mom turned away and grabbed a plate stacked with cookies. She handed it to Logan. “Take these, and please get the health hazards out of my kitchen,” she requested.

Logan took them without complaint. “Come on, Virgil,” he said. “Let’s go get you clean.”

“We’re going to need so much soap,” Patton said.

Virgil looked down at himself. “I can go outside and get most of it off if you get me a bucket of water,” he offered.

“Virgil, it’s below freezing,” Logan said as though that had a baring on what he’d just said. Logan sighed. “No. Bathtub.” Virgil shrugged. “Honestly,” Logan said. He turned with the plate of cookies in his hand, clearly expecting to be followed. “You’re not going to catch your death pouring a bucket of water over yourself in the cold when there are literally over a hundred perfectly good bathtubs in this castle. For goodness sakes.” And well, Virgil wasn’t going to complain.

  Chapter 34

Patton, to be completely honest, was not all that interested in the room that Virgil had found. Beyond just the fact that it would definitely have creepy crawly death dealers in it, he really did not understand the intrigue. If it had just been him, he probably would have just let a castle worker deal with it, but it was not just him. Logan was ecstatic with the prospect of investigating a secret in the castle. People who didn’t know him well may not believe it considering he spent most of his time with his nose in a book, but he was an adventurer at heart.

 Thomas had been easily swayed into finding someone to help tear down part of the wall into the secret tunnel near the room (so no one would have to crawl through the kitchen cellar like Virgil). It had taken a few days, however, and Logan was practically bouncing off the walls waiting. Virgil, despite having already seen the room before, also seemed excited, though if that was because of his own curiosity or because he was just excited that Logan seemed so exited remained to be seen.

“They are silly, aren’t they,” Patton asked Princess Marisol. He was laying on his stomach on Logan’s bed and Princess Marisol had just put her little paw on his nose.

 “Yes, I agree,” he said. “Don’t they know that we’re literally going to be 2 feet away from the normal hallway?”

“It is not silly,” Logan defended himself. “Any number of things could go wrong.” He sounded far too excited about the prospect of something going terribly wrong. “The tunnels could cave in and block off the exit or there could be some unknown pathogen in the air.”

Patton did not ruin his fun by mentioning that Logan’s dad had definitely basically baby proofed the tunnels for them ahead of time. Instead, he just said, “Don’t let Virgil hear you say that sort of thing. It will just stress him out.”

 “Yes, yes, of course,” he said, waving off Patton’s concerns as he mulled over two different weird green planty things (potion ingredients, Patton assumed) before setting one aside and sticking the other in his bag.

“So silly,” Patton cooed at the cat. Logan let out a huff but did not choose to say anything about it this time.

Speaking of silly, Virgil came back from Logan’s bathroom then, and Patton tried not to giggle. “Is this right?” Virgil asked, sounding and looking confused. Logan, in his overexcitement about adventure had commissioned Virgil an outfit that actually fit. Said outfit, however, very much made it look more like Virgil was going on a safari instead of a two-foot detour from the normal castle hallway.

 “Almost,” Logan said, “Here, let me.” Logan started straightening everything out and flattening the collar, reminding Patton of an overbearing parent on picture day. Virgil accepted the fussing without protest. It was adorable. Well, the outfit was ridiculous, but still, adorable. “There,” Logan said. “I think we’re ready to go now.”

It was about time. Patton was sure people were already waiting for them downstairs. Patton got up and patted Princess Marisol on the head. She looked up at them with interest.

“You can stay here, sweetie,” Patton told here. She seemed to consider it and then hopped down from the bed to go rub up against Virgil.

 Patton guessed she was coming. It didn’t matter too much since Logan had given her a magical collar that allowed her to open most doors in the castle and everyone knew she was the royal cat now, so if she decided she wanted to come back to the room and nap, she could. (She was very aware of the power she held.)

She pranced happily by Virgil’s side all the way down the steps to the first floor of the castle. She was such a good kitty.

Well, she did hiss angrily at everyone who came too close to them, but still, a very good kitty.

 Patton did lean down and pick her up so they could actually talk to the man waiting for them at the large hole in the wall. Logan went to talk to the castle worker while Virgil half hid behind Patton. He was clearly listening very intently to the conversation however, at least more intently than Patton was. Patton was busy shaking his head fondly.

“Yes, yes, Princess,” he said to the cat. “I know we do not trust the strangers, but I promise this stranger is perfectly safe.”

“How do you know?” Virgil asked.

“His name is Chester and I’ve known him since I was 9.”

 This seemed to slightly alleviate Virgil’s suspicion, but Princess Marisol still seemed antsy. Patton really needed to start slowly introducing the both of them to more people.

Logan finished talking with Chester after a few moments and it was time to climb through the hole in the wall. He wished he saw in the tunnel whatever Logan with his excited eyes and bounce to his step obviously saw. Or even that was more comfortable in the dark closed in space as Virgil obviously was. As it was, Patton’s nose scrunched up at the thought off all of the spiders that could be living everywhere in the secret tunnel, but he pushed through.

 The entrance to the tunnel had been made only a little bit from the room Virgil had mentioned and Chester had led them through it after only a couple of seconds. As Patton had suspected, the room was already lit up and probably cleaned a little bit by the people who had cut into the wall, not that he was complaining.

Virgil was still clinging a bit to Patton’s shirt, though it seemed to be less out of anxiety at this point and more out of a desire to stick close. He was peering around curiously at the lit-up space. He probably hadn’t seen much of it in the dark when he’d been here before.

 Yet, his curiosity was nothing compared to how excited Logan seemed to be. Now Patton may have not been interested in the room itself, but he was entertained by how interested Logan was and was happy to encourage that.

“What do you think this place is?” he asked Logan.

Logan hummed contemplatively, eyes looking around. “Well,” he said. “It’s a bedroom clearly, and old. Considering the location it is in in the castle, the size, the decorations, and it’s likely age, I’d imagine it was a bedroom of a royal family member. This used to be the royal wing three royal lines ago.”

 “Bearing that in mind, there are a couple of likely possibilities for the origin of the room as well as the reason it was sealed up, but we will need to investigate more in order to come to an actual conclusion.” He had already placed the bag he’d brought on the ground and was going through it, pulling out things that Patton did not recognize. He also got a piece of paper and sat on the floor to start to sketch.

“What are you doing?” Virgil asked.

“I’m sketching the floorplan of the room,” Logan said. “I will then put a grid on it so we can investigate while being sure that we aren’t missing anything.”

 Virgil seemed uninterested in this part of the adventure, instead electing to go poking around by himself. Princess Marisol squirmed out of Patton’s arms to go follow him. Patton swore that he only looked away from those two for 5 seconds, but the next thing he knew he heard metal clicking against metal.

“Oh,” Patton said, eyes wide when he saw what Virgil was fiddling with. “Honey, you probably shouldn’t touch…”

The old but fancy looking chest that had been at the end of the remains of the bed creaked open. Virgil sneezed as a cloud of dust puffed out of it. “Huh,” he said studying the contents. “There’s a skull in here.”

 “Oh, I don’t like this adventure anymore,” Patton commented.

Logan was on his feet within moments. “Let me see,” he said eagerly.

“What if it’s cursed?” Patton pointed out.

“Then I’ll just break the curse,” Logan waved him off. “Oh, it’s just a horse skull,” Logan said, sounding disappointed. “And also what seemed to be potion ingredients. Though they seem very fresh considering the state of the room.”

“Maybe we should get someone else to…”

Logan already had both arms inside the chest and was pulling things out of it. “This chest must have some sort of stasis effect to it.”

 He started pulling things out to look at them before setting them on the floor with no caution. “Well,” he said, “that answers the question of what this room is.”

“It does?” Patton asked.

“Ah, yes, between the horse skull and the potion ingredients, this is obviously the bedroom of Princess Marianne Elicia. She was the third child of King Simon IV and was quite the fan of horses.”

“…So she kept a horse skull in a stasis chest in her bedroom?” Patton asked.

“Of course,” Logan said. “Back when her family was in power, magic was outlawed and had quite the stigma against it, but she ended up learning magic and become quite proficient.”

 “It’s debated what exactly happened when her father found out about her activities. Some sources say that she was executed silently by her father, but others say she managed to escape with the head of the stables but not before putting a curse on the country of Prijaznia. That is until she or one of her bloodline sits on the throne, every royal line will end in madness and blood by the 5th seated monarch before an heir is born.”

“Isn’t that something you should be worried about?” Virgil asked.

Logan shrugged. “It’s just a myth,” he said. “Besides I’m 6th in the line, so there really isn’t any concern.”

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“There are a lot of interesting things in here,” Logan said, still focused on the chest. “Not to mention the books. We’ll have to be careful with those though since they don’t appear to be in stasis.”

Logan pulled the horse skull out and set it on the floor making Patton wince.

“Marisol no!” he said as Princess Marisol immediately went to go sniff at it. He swooped her up in his arms. “How long are we staying in this creepy room?” Patton asked.

“Patton, we just got here,” Logan said.

“We just got here and already found a skull!”

“Yes! Exactly!”

Patton groaned into Princess Marisol’s fur even as she tried wiggle away to go back and investigate the skull. This was going to be a long day.

  Chapter 35

Logan was surprised when he woke up alone in bed. He’d grown to anticipate waking to a smaller body unrelentingly clinging to his in the past couple of weeks. Confused he sat up and peered around his bedroom. He wouldn’t have seen Virgil with the way he melted into the darkness if it he hadn’t heard the sound of purring coming from near the window. He could just barely make out a dark blob shifting up and down at the cat kneaded at a different blob sitting mostly hidden behind the thick curtain.

“Virgil?” Logan questioned. “What are you doing?”

 “It’s snowing,” was the answer.

“That is not an answer,” Logan grumbled at the ceiling. With a sigh, he pulled himself out of bed. It was a bit chilly in here, he thought. The temperature must have dipped suddenly and intensely enough that the runes keeping the castle at a warm enough temperature hadn’t caught up yet. He pulled one of the blankets off of the top of his bed to wrap around his shoulders as he approached the window. There wasn’t much light outside, the stars and moon covered by clouds, but there were some lanterns lit for the night guard who patrolled the outside. “Oh,” he said in surprise. “It’s really snowing.”

 It had been colder but not quite cold enough for snow to stick the day before, so it came as a surprise when he saw snow was piling up quite high to the point where familiar paths outside his window had disappeared.

“I don’t like it,” Virgil informed him.

“Why not?” Logan asked.

“It’s cold,” Virgil answered. It was clear in his tone that in Virgil’s opinion ‘cold’ was a horrible insult to the concept of snow. Logan quirked a half smile and his attention was drawn to the fact that it was quite cold right here close to the window.

 Frowning, he pulled at the blanket around his shoulder so he could wrap it and his arm around the lump that was Virgil. He brushed the boy’s hand when he did so and found it was like ice.

“You’re freezing!” Logan said. “How long have you been by the window?”

“I dunno,” he replied.

Logan was already tugging at him. “You need to get back in bed,” he said.

Virgil obeyed the pulling at his arms even as he frowned. “I’ve been colder than this before,” he said.

“That actually doesn’t make me feel better,” Logan replied dryly as he shooed him towards the bed.

 He took the thicker blanket that usually stayed folded at the end of the bed and pulled it up over Virgil before climbing into bed beside him.

“There,” Logan said, rubbing Virgil’s arms through the fabric of the sweater he wore to bed. He was glad he wasn’t wearing a t-shirt at least. “The runes for heating the castle should catch up within a few hours, but until then this should do. Assuming we don’t sit by the freezing window for an undetermined amount of time.”

“I don’t like the cold,” Virgil told him.

Logan sighed. “Then why did you sit by the window?”

 Virgil shrugged and ducked his head a bit. Logan reached out to grab his hands to help him warm more but was surprised when one of the hands was much warmer than the other. He found his fingers were clutching a crescent shaped stone: the protection charm they’d made. Logan knew that he kept it in his pocket most of the time, but he didn’t normally see him holding it like this. It was warm to the touch, of course, indicating the safety of the room around them.

Logan looked over his face. “Are you…” he said. “Scared of the snow?”

 “I don’t like the cold,” he said once again.

“You’re scared of the winter,” Logan concluded. He looked at Virgil who was far too small for his age and seemed surprised at every casual act of kindness. It was clear that his basic needs were far from being met before he came here. Logan had to wonder what winter usually meant for him. His experiences were doubtlessly very different from Logan’s own. “That makes sense,” he acknowledged, “but you don’t need to be scared of it here. The castle is always perfectly warm and safe in the winter and Mr. Deknis and Ms. Heart work hard during the other seasons to make sure we have plenty of food. There is nothing to fear here.”

 He did not seem convinced.

“You don’t even have to go outside if you don’t want to,” Logan promised. “The castle is plenty big if you’d like to stay inside all winter long. It was made for the winter even without the magic devices that keep it warm. We have fireplaces and well insulated rooms even if those that ends up failing.” Logan pulled open the hand that had the protection charm just to transfer it to his other hand to warm it. “Though, while no one would force you to go outside, the snow isn’t always bad.”

“Yes it is,” Virgil said, his voice sure.

 “Not all the time,” Logan insisted. “Some people love the snow.”

“They’re stupid.”

Logan laughed. “It can be fun for a while with the right equipment if you have someplace to get warm again afterwards. Royal duties slow down during the winter and Patton tends to come up with all sorts of games for both the inside and the outside to pass the time. He’s particularly proficient at snowball fights, at least against me.”

“What’s that?” he asked.

“Play fighting,” Logan answered. “Like pillow fights, but snow.”

“I’ll stick with the pillows,” he replied.

“And then there’s a hill to sled down on the western side of the castle, and people like to build snowmen along the path.”

“What are snowmen?” Virgil asked.

 They’re temporary statues made out of packed snow,” Logan explained. “Typically, they’re made of three different sized balls of snow: the largest being the base and the smallest the ‘head’ though there are some variations. After building them one typically decorates them with different articles of clothing and objects found lying around. It’s usually sticks and rocks for the face and then things like extra hats and scarfs for decoration.” He smiled softly. “When my Pa was alive, we used to steal my Dad’s crown and fanciest robes. Sometimes Pa would steal it right off of Dad’s head and we’d run away. We’d find a secluded area of the castle yards and build the biggest snowman we could as quickly as we could before we got caught. He’d usually end up letting us keep the robes, but we’d have to give the crown back since some of the metals in it would rust when wet.”

 “That sounds…” Virgil’s nose twitched. “fun if you take away the touching snow part.”

Logan laughed. “It is fun,” he said. “Even with the touching snow part. Though, I admit that some of the ability for it to be entertaining does come from the fact that we could warm up afterwards with ease. You’ll enjoy Patton’s mother’s constant offering of hot chocolate during the season even if you never go outside, I’m sure.”

“Hot chocolate?” Virgil asked intrigued. His dark eyes shone brightly in the little light coming through the window. It was clear he could guess something about the drink just by the name and enjoyed the implications.

 Logan smiled fondly. “It is a hot drink,” he explained. “It’s a warm drink made out of milk and chocolate. I can get you some to try in the morning.”

Virgil nodded, eyes still wide with interest.

“For now, we should sleep though,” Logan said. “Are you warm enough? I can get more blankets.”

“I’m fine,” he said.

“Good,” Logan said, reaching up and adjusting the blanket over them once more, tucking it around Virgil a little bit for good measure. “Goodnight Virgil,” he said.

“Goodnight,” he replied softly. Logan reached under the blankets to grab the hand that was still slightly chilly from the window between his own. Virgil’s eyes slipped closed after a moment as he nuzzle his face into the pillow. At some point they both drifted off to sleep.

  Chapter 36

Thomas had already been well aware that winter was on the way, but he and the rest of the castle occupants had been surprised at how intensely and suddenly it had come on. Most things were ready for the winter, but not all of them had been initiated. The fireplaces that took some pressure off the castle heating runes were cleaned out and ready, but they hadn’t been started yet. The stables for different animals on the grounds had been checked over and staff assignments had been made, but most were still in far out fields. Staff that went home for the winter months had been dismissed, but there were a few stragglers that would have to be helped home before things got worse.

 He’d gone out to the main stable to talk to the three workers that were the heads of different areas of animal husbandry to make sure a plan to get everything to where it needed to be soon was in place. It took a while to figure out considering that they’d expected a little more time before the first major snowfall. Thomas also asked them to make sure all of the workers’ homes were in good enough condition for the weather. Ranch hands typically had homes on castle grounds but not in the castle themselves since they needed to be close to the animals. Thomas knew at least half a dozen of those who spent most of their times out in the fields were the type to forgot to maintain their homes because they preferred camping amongst the animals in the summer months and then would be in for a bad time when snow began to fall.

 There should be enough extra rooms in the castle if they needed a place to stay until repairs could be done.

Those conversations took a good couple of hours, before Thomas was satisfied. Before trudging back to the castle through the still falling snow, he made a point to stop at one specific horse stall in the main stable. The horse turned his head to see Thomas when he stopped in front of his stall and puffed out a rather disaffected snort before sticking his head over the gate so Thomas could pat his nose. “Hello, Mr. Apples,” Thomas said.

 The horse seemed to conclude he’d tolerated Thomas’s petting enough and ducked his head to nudge at his torso. Thomas rolled his eyes. “Yes, yes,” he said. “I brought you an apple. Some things never change.” He reached into his pocket to grab the red apple he’d brought the white Arabian. “At least you don’t bite me anymore.” He paused, apple slice in hand and eyed the horse’s nose suspiciously. “Do not bite me,” he said even though he hadn’t felt the animal’s teeth in a decade. It would be just like Mr. Apples to wait until his guard was down.

 After a bit of scrutiny, he offered an apple slice. It was snatched out of his hand and there was a loud crunch as it was bit into.

“It’s snowing out,” he told the horse. The horse seemed to roll his eyes at the statement of the obvious. “I’ll remind again that if you run out in a snowstorm, I’m not running after you, so you’d be out of luck.”

Mr. Apples snorted.

“You’re old now. You’d probably not survive long enough for people to find you. Besides, you blend in with that white fur of yours. They’d probably walk right past you a few times.”

 He went back to nosing for treats as soon as he finished his first and Thomas sighed, pulling out another apple slice. “What are they not feeding you enough?” The gusto with which the horse snatched the apple slice was a very clear answer. “Well, we both know that’s not true.” Thomas fed the horse a third slice of apple when he was done with his second. “I have to get back to the castle now. Don’t be a devil horse.”

Mr. Apples threw his head a bit, splattering apple smelling foamy spittle all over Thomas’s front.

“Understood. Have a nice afternoon.”

 He left Mr. Apples in his stall then, knowing he’d be well cared for no matter how ill-tempered he could be at times. He’d been a king’s horse once, after all, no matter that said king had been dead for more than a decade now.

Winters were hard.

Winters were the times when things always slowed down at the castle, where royal duties were often thin. There were a lot of memories in winter.

The trip back to the castle was not particularly long, but it was also not particularly pleasant. The snow had not been cleared away considering it was still snowing which meant his feet and legs were wet and cold by the time he made it to the nearest castle door.

 He wasn’t sure if, when he entered, the castle heating runes had started to work in earnest or if he’d just been so cold that any measure of warmth was appreciated, but he was relieved to be out of the snow either way.

He decided to check up on the progress of the castle staff lighting the fireplaces. With any luck, they’d be lit already, and he could warm up even more. That in mind, he headed towards the main foyer where the largest fireplace in the castle sat to take off the chill brought in by the large front doors.

 The main foyer was bustling with activity when he snuck in along the sides, giving the guards stationed around nods as he passed. The main fire in the room was burning brightly, though only one of the two smaller ones near the side exits from the room was lit. The other one was still being set up with safety mechanisms. It was good progress and assuming other areas of the castle were being set up as efficiently, he assumed they’d all be set up by nightfall.

He’d need to go check around to be sure, but for now, he walked up to the main fireplace to warm his hands.

 He’d gotten into the habit when he was younger to every so often glance upwards. There had been a certain stable boy who had a propensity for climbing trees. These days, he usually found nothing when he did so, often not even consciously noticing that he’d turned his gaze momentarily skywards. Yet, today, he was startled out of his own idleness by dark brown eyes looking back at him from a small ledge in the shadows high above him.

He froze as he met the young boy’s gaze. Virgil seemed as surprised to be caught as Thomas was to have caught him.

 Slowly Thomas raised one hand and waved to the boy. He slunk back into the shadows at the acknowledgment. If Thomas peered hard enough, he could see a shadow stretch up towards the third-floor balcony in the darkness and disappear over the railing.

Interesting boy.

Thomas found himself smiling despite the oddity. They still had not found out much about Virgil. He would speak to Jeffers about many things apparently, but often could not be redirected to invasive topics and he was still a bit skittish around Helen. He hadn’t willingly existed in a room with Thomas. Thomas hoped that changed at some point. There was something about him that made Thomas like him.

  Chapter 37

Virgil had not spent a lot of time out of Logan’s room. What little time he had spent outside of it was either with Patton and/or Logan or tucked away in secret corridors he found in the walls where no one would stumble upon him. Yet, here he was willingly in a, well, not public by any means place, but one that was still more exposed than he was used to being in. Somehow, he was managing to not care at all.

It was helped by the fact that both Logan and Patton had been in the room at the start, but they had gone off to go… somewhere. Food sounded like it might have been the reason.

 He liked food, and usually he would have been all for going to get some, but between them promising to bring him back some and the fact that he was never going to move ever again, he’d decided to stay.

Princess Marisol seemed to be the only other rational being in the whole castle because she had also not moved since discovering the contents of this room. She was currently laying on his chest purring happily.

The fireplace was a wonderful invention. Now, Virgil had, of course, warmed up by a fire before when it was cold, but this was much different. There was a grate that blocked off the fire a bit keeping it from burning the person in front of it and there was a plush rug right by it, perfect for laying down on. Someone had known what they were doing when designing this room.

 He didn’t even care that the king had access to this sitting room as well as Logan.

…

Okay, so he did care a little bit, but he was ignoring that. He was probably busy this time of day anyway, right?

…

He really didn’t want to run into him after being caught watching the castle workers set up the bigger fireplaces. Kings probably didn’t like people sneaking around watching things from the shadows even when they didn’t know that the person sneaking around was literally sent to kill them.

Princess Marisol must have had a sixth sense for his anxieties (or he’d just started breathing faster and disturbed her) because she stirred a bit.

#proofread stories #not writing