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aroclawthornes · 3 years

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Blooming Brilliant, an Aroace Willow Park Manifesto

[id: a gif of a heart locket opening. One half of the locket displays a picture of Willow Park from The Owl House, winking and making peace signs with her fingers. Blue and yellow stars surround her. The other half reads "willow park my beloved." /end id.]

Greetings! It’s me, User Aroclawthornes, and instead of working on all the time-sensitive homework I have I sat down and wrote an essay explaining why I think Willow Park OwlHouse could plausibly be read as aroace, and why it would be a thematically enriching interpretation. I’ve never written anything like this before, so it’s oddly formal, a little pretentious, and contains a lot of qualifying language, but I'm confident that it gets my point across. I’m not intending to speak over other interpretations of Willow or assert that it's the only true way to read her, but it's a headcanon I find interesting, and I think there’s a lot of evidence to back it up, between certain elements that Willow’s arc employs to some good old overanalysed symbolism. If you're aspec, I hope this is validating; if you're not, I hope it's interesting; if you don't care, scrolling past it is quick, free, and easy.

Some disclaimers on terminology: I’m speaking from an aroace perspective, and so when I say “aspec coding” I’m generally referring to both orientations as a catch-all - a lot of the coding surrounding Willow could go either way. I’m also going to be talking about commonly accepted “aspec” narratives, but I’m aware of the limitations of this insofar as my experiences are only a single facet of the diverse range of aspec people in this world, so anyone who wants to add or argue anything - respectfully - is encouraged to.

Analysis below the cut!

The Thing About Plants

I’m not going to pretend that an association with plants is historically indicative of aspec coding, because, frankly, there haven’t been enough aspec characters to establish it as a convention, and it’s also a fairly wide-reaching branch of symbolism. However, I am going to propose that lighthearted comparisons between asexual people and plants (however misguided on functions of plant reproduction they are) are fairly common elements of budding ace teenage humour, as are related quips about photosynthesis.

[id: a screenshot of Willow from "I Was A Teenage Abomination", depicting her sitting on the ground while casting a spell over a small, pink flower. /end id.]

I’m also not going to claim that the colour green Belongs To Aromantics, and therefore that All Plants Are Belong To Us, but in tandem with everything else I’m about to cover, the connection between Willow and plants seems like a fairly plausible nudge to a relatively common element of aspec humour.

“Half-a-witch” Willow and the Late Bloomer Experience

[id: a screenshot of Willow with glowing green eyes, from "I Was A Teenage Abomination", depicting her summoning a mess of thorned vines. /end id]

Willow is literally nicknamed “half-a-witch”, in reference to her supposedly incomplete state - this is a sentiment eerily reminiscent of the pressure to find one’s “other half”, which affects aspec - especially aromantic - people particularly profoundly. She’s considered a late bloomer, someone who hasn’t reached the societal milestones of growth at the expected age, and who is derided and considered immature as a result of this perceived failure. However, we quickly discover that Willow is, in fact, an exceptionally competent and powerful witch - taken out of the restricting frame of the Abominations track, she’s able to grow into her own, “complete” person, therefore proving that she was never really lacking in anything in the first place. Like real-life aroace people, she was perceived as limited and immature based on the expectations and judgements of other people, but Willow was never deficient in anything, least of all herself.

[id: a screenshot of Willow and Luz from "I Was A Teenage Abomination". They are holding hands - the former is laughing with her eyes closed, and the latter is grinning, while covered in abomination goop. /end id]

As far as symbolism goes...the track Willow is initially put in literally requires her to conjure up another humanoid entity, with the expectation that she will therefore prove herself to be a whole and mature person. Only with this ability, she’s told, will she be successful and happy as an adult. The shapelessness of her attempts at conjuring an abomination reinforces this connection in my mind - if I may reference this quote from Ducktales 2017‘s (absolutely stellar) A Nightmare On Killmotor Hill, in which the protagonists explore their own subconscious fears via. the dream realm, for a second:

“I think that’s supposed to be my romantic interest, but I’m too threatened by the concept, so it never takes shape.”

A lot of young aroace people find themselves in situations where they attempt to convince themself of their interest in someone in an attempt to be “normal,” or end up lying in response to family members or friends’ questions about crushes. While Willow’s abominations, first and foremost, represent the expectations from her school, classmates, and family to be a successful, “complete” witch with a profitable future, I think that with an aroace interpretation of Willow they could also very easily be read as representing some latent insecurities over a lack of attraction, or pressure to find a significant other.

(I’m not condemning Willow’s dads, by the way - they seem like perfectly lovely fellas, and I’m confident that they were doing what they thought was best for her. They’re certainly very quick to drop everything to assure her future in Escaping Expulsion, so obviously they care about their daughter very much.)

Greens, Blues, and Yellows: Colour-Coding Willow Park

A while back, I made this post comparing Willow’s palette to the aromantic and aroace flags:

[id: a screenshot of a post depicting the aromantic and aromantic asexual flags, colour-picked from images of Willow in her Hexside uniform and casual dress respectively - these are overlaid on top of the flags. The caption reads "observations on willow park". /end id.]

The grey-and-green aromantic flag has long been the accepted mainstream symbol of aromanticism, and, as the above post - and many others - demonstrate, Willow’s palette reflects it near-perfectly. This could easily be a coincidence, owing to the palette of the standard Hexside Plant Track uniform, as well as her hair and eye colours - which are obviously supposed to be reflective of her plant-related abilities. However, given how fond of employing hidden meanings The Owl House has shown itself to be, I don’t think it’s far-fetched to claim that there’s at least a chance that her palette was constructed with the flag in mind.

The latter is...a bit more problematic for me, although it’s fun to joke about. The blue-and-yellow aroace flag was only created in December 2018, relatively late into The Owl House’s initial production, and it’s still relatively obscure, although on the rise in popularity as the accepted aroace flag (I only recently started using it myself), so I don’t know if Willow’s casual wear is enough to verify the presence of any deliberate subtext. I think it’s a fun coincidence, however, and (as was pointed out in this post) it’s cool that these blue and yellow stars surrounding Willow occur in the same frame as Luz’s bisexual decor:

[id: a photograph of Luz, Gus, and Willow, all surrounding a disgruntled-looking Principal Bump. Luz has flowers in the colours of the bisexual flag decorating her hair, while Willow is surrounded by bright blue and yellow stars. /end id.]

also seen above: powerful bi/aspec solidarity

Conclusion:

Do I genuinely believe that Willow is being deliberately written this way? If you’d asked me, say, two months ago, I’d have said probably not - as far as queer representation in kids’ cartoons has come, it has a ways to go, and focusing on transgender characters seems like a more obvious (and equally invaluable) route to go down. I can name maybe five explicitly aspec characters off the top of my head, two of whom have been written as alloromantic and/or sexual in adaptations or continuations of the source material (I have...some grievances with 2005 Doctor Who). But the emergence of Raine, an explicitly nonbinary character on Disney Channel, has given me a little spark of hope, and so, even if it’s never confirmed, it’s comforting to be able to see a character with such strong elements of aspec coding and think to myself, just maybe, that there might be some intent behind it.

I also...really want to see interesting things done with Willow. We’re halfway through Season 2, and despite some promising setup for her arc in the Season 1 finale, she’s sort of been left by the wayside lately in favour of developing the more “plot-relevant” characters, such as Luz, Amity, Eda, and Hunter. Frankly, I think it’s a disservice to her Season 1 development, despite how much I adore all the characters I just listed - beyond any personal motivation, the prospect that Willow could be aroace adds a lot of sorely-sought depth to her, and, as detailed, a lot of this has already been set up in her earlier episodes. I just...I think it’d be neat. Rarely do you get a kids’ show so brazenly queer in its themes as Owl House, and aspec people deserve to be included in that.

Willow would also be great aroace representation because, well - those five or so aspec characters I mentioned being aware of are all white or “raceless” (...also written as white, basically), and so an aspec Asian character would be a really lovely step forward in this area. Additionally, all the characters I referred to are also conventionally skinny, and Willow is not only fat, but written in a way that doesn’t treat this feature as a caricature. People who are more knowledgeable on these topics than I are absolutely free to make additions, as is anyone who feels like I’ve left certain details out.

tl;dr: Willow’s association with plants could be read as a cool nod to aspec humour, her “late bloomer” narrative is eerily reminiscent of some common aspec experiences, her palette speaks for itself, and it’d be really cool if we could diversify the so-far fairly bland sphere of aspec representation.

I’m going to conclude this by linking Rose by The Oh Hellos, because they’re my favourite band, they share The Owl House’s initials, and I also think it’s a good Willow song. Peace out.

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#the owl house #willow park #pspspspsps you will read my 1.5k word aroace willow essay #hooting #meta #willow #aroace willow manifesto #fuck it. this is getting posted

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wordswithkittywitch · 3 years

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Pride Month at Ghostbusters HQ

“What’s with all the rainbows?” asked Kevin, pointing at the bunting and flags festooning the break room. He perked up like a dog who just heard the word “walk”.

“Are we catching a leprechaun ghost?” he chirped. Abby pinched the bridge of her nose and sighed heavily, so Erin thought she would have to take this one. Pressing her hands together in an almost pleading motion, Erin approached the statuesque idiot.

“No, Kevin sweetie, I told you before, there’s no leprechaun ghosts, and they don’t have any gold.” she explained. “I’m sorry, I know you really want to see a leprechaun.”

Holtzmann leaned back in her chair to the point where any other person would have fallen backwards or at least dropped the soldering gun.

“Pride month.“ she explained.

“Oooh.” Kevin nodded sagely. “Lion ghosts.”

“No, no.” Erin tried to speak kindly to the resident himbo. “Gay pride, Kevin. That’s what the rainbows are for.”

“Queer pride.” Abby corrected. “That covers all of us.”

“Us?”

“Like how I’m aroace and Holtzmann is a lesbian.” Abby explained.

“And when I came out to you guys, no one was surprised.” said Holtzmann.

“I was surprised,” Kevin interjected defectively, “I thought you liked women.”

“Not to mention that we got a couple of bisexuals over here.” Patty clapped Erin on the back. “Well, bi ace on my part, bisexual biromantic for Erin.”

Erin grimaced slightly.

“Sadly, I am the ‘awkward around everyone’ type of bisexual.” she muttered.

“That’s so cool!” Kevin grinned. He pointed to himself. “What am I?”

The ghostbusters looked at each other slightly awkwardly.

“We don’t actually know.” Abby admitted. “You never talk about who you’re dating.”

“Yeah, you’ve mentioned going on a date once or twice, but we’ve never seen them.” Holtzmann commented.

“Oh. Well I’ve dated a bunch of people. I’ve had crushes on all sorts of people.” he explained. “Some were boys, some were girls. Do you remember that really cute ghost that was only a head? Don’t know if they were a boy or a girl, but I was sorry we had to trap them.”

“Or they were both. Maybe neither.” Holtzmann pointed out. Kevin looked confused.

“Well, yeah.” he agreed. “If I don’t know if they’re a boy and I don’t know if they’re a girl, then I don’t know if they’re neither either.”

“So, would you say you’re pansexual?” Erin suggested.

Kevin paused thoughtfully, which appeared to be a strain.

“...if the pan was smart enough to say yes and I liked it’s personality, sure.”

#fanfiction #I guess?#this started as just a list of headcanons but then Kevin starting saying funny shit #Ghostbusters #Ghostbusters: Answer the Call #I apologise to all pansexuals for the last line

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a-hundred-jewels · 3 years

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cruel summer ch 12: i have these lucid dreams

Ao3 Wattpad

Summary: sabrina starr, pegasuses, and oh no! the fourth wall broke! do we have a carpenter in the audience?

Word Count: 9000 ish

Tags: Rachel Elizabeth Dare/Jane Penderwick, Rosalind Penderwick/Tommy Geiger, Nico di Angelo/Will Solace, Annabeth Chase/Percy Jackson, Jane Penderwick, Rachel Elizabeth Dare, Rosalind Penderwick, Skye Penderwick, Chiron (Percy Jackson), Martin Penderwick, Elizabeth "Batty" Penderwick, Elizabeth Penderwick (senior), Iantha Aaronson-Penderwick, Ben Aaronson-Penderwick, Nico di Angelo, Will Solace, Annabeth Chase, Jeffrey Tifton-McGrath, Percy Jackson, Demeter (Percy Jackson), Apollo (Percy Jackson), Camp Half-Blood (Percy Jackson), Camp Half-Blood AU, Demigods, demeter!elizabeth penderwick, demeter!rosalind (second generation), demeter!batty (second generation), apollo!alec mcgrath, apollo!jeffrey (second generation), demeter!jane (second generation), demeter!skye (second generation), all of that's in no particular order, main focus is on jane because i love her and she's so so fun to write, tomsalind is there (and stuff will happen - i can't really say what, it will really be eventful though), yes of course there's solangelo, takes place right before Penderwicks In Spring, After Trials of Apollo, more tags to come??, Minor Swearing

Notes and Full Chapter below cut:

Hello everyone and welcome back! I'll admit, this is a little later today than I'd been planning to post (was hoping to get an early start), but hey! If the Puppet History season 4 finale can be late, then so can I!

First off, a massive massive thank you to waterbottle_stickers for being the best beta reader ever. This chapter would be a mess without you. Also, if you haven't already, please check out their enola holmes fic wherever you stray, i follow it's truly wonderful.

If you've been following me on tumblr, then you'll know that, in addition to reblogging an alarming quantity of good omens fanart, I've been making some plans for fics this month. The original plan from back in august was to post every day of the month, but... ahhh.... I just don't work that fast lmao. I'll have to be content with just posting a fair amount this month. Happy october! Anyway, stay tuned.

On this fine day, we've got two lovely QUEER fanfic recommendations that I'm very excited to share. Up first is one from the tumblr blog izzielizzie (which you should all absolutely check out! especially if you're into the one of us is lying fandom!). it centers around the skye/melissa pairing and their senior prom, which Skye is said to have only gone to last minute, and also wearing a lab coat, in a passage of the penderwicks at last. featuring some oblivious lesbians and also jane. once again a massive thanks to izzielizzie, as this fic is one of my favourites!. click here to take a look! (also keep an eye on her blog in general bc her penderwicks fics are awesome!)

The second fanfic is also one I'm very fond of, as it focuses on the siblinghood of skye and jane, which is one of my favourite topics on earth. check out rolling down the ancient high street by hanchewie/ramblemadlyon (tumblr and ao3 respectively) for the sibling antics of aroace skye and bisexual jane when the latter visits the former at her college in california! and, if you like it, ramblemadlyon has two other penderwicks fics from the past couple days that look fantastic as well, and that I look forward to reading.

This chapter is dedicated to my therapist, since I've decided this will be the month of oddly specific dedications. thank you for telling me to stop referring to cruel summer as my "trash baby" and help me recognize the true worth that it holds in my life.

Disclaimer: not my characters, you know the drill. Jeanne Birdsall and Rick Riordan are lucky ducks indeed. chapter title is (obviously) from "lucid dreams" by Juice WRLD.

FROM THE POV OF JANE PENDERWICK

The woods loomed around me, seeming as tall as buildings as they invited me in further. I took another step, the sharp pain of a pinecone digging into my foot barely registered in my mind. I kept walking. A crack sounded throughout the air, and, behind me, a tree splintered round its base and fell down, only inches away from crushing me dead, and completely blocking the path out.

Frightened, I began to run, looking for a way out of the forest. But no matter which way I went, there were only trees in front of me. Where was the path? Where was the grassy hill I had walked down to get in here in the first place. Had I even walked down that hill to begin with? Now that I thought about it, I wasn’t sure I remembered coming here. I wasn’t sure I remembered waking up this morning, or going to bed last night, or anything besides existing in the forest. Who was I? What was I doing here? How could I get out?

Panicking, I stood in the middle of a clearing, looking frantically at the trees around me, trying to find something familiar. Nothing. I was exhausted. How long had I been here? An hour? A day? A lifetime? I collapsed at the base of a tree, sobbing as I tried to remember. Something. Anything.

Then, a voice echoed around me. “Welcome,” it said, and my mind went black.

I bolt upright in bed, a scream halfway out of my throat. I clamp it back, not wanting to wake my cabinmates. Thin light whimpers through the window--enough for me to see my white-knuckle grip on the sheets, but not enough to pass as daylight.

What time is it?

Our cell phones don’t really work here--that was one of the first things Miranda told us when we arrived, and Batty’s been gleefully lording it over us that her Mp3 player will still play music and, like, function, while our smart phones recline sadly in our duffel bags. That being said, I don’t feel quite brave enough to get out of my bed just yet and tiptoe over to the big analog clock that Rio bought at a pawn shop in Colorado. Maybe my phone will at least show the time.

I reach under my bed and fumble for my duffel, hooking my pinky through the zipper loop and yanking it out onto my floor. My phone’s in the front pocket, buried under two pairs of headphones, several gum wrappers, and some strawberry leaves (?????). A piece of gum peels off the screen as I disentangle my phone, and I mentally chide my past self for being so messy.

My phone does not turn on. Big clock it is.

I tiptoe across the cold tile and peer around the tree.

5:45 .

Jesus Pagan Christ.

It’s too early to wake anyone up (as I think this, Batty lets out a snore to rival any crabby Tyrannosaurus Rex), so I wrap a blanket around myself like a criminally attractive burrito, and creep out onto the porch, with my notebook and pen tucked into my shirt.

As long as I live, I will never get tired of summer mornings. There’s something deeply lovely about the soft light of the still-sleepy, pink lemonade sun, the quiet anticipation of the cool air, damp from dew and preparing for the upcoming heat. At home in Cameron, Skye’s woken me up many an early morning to go for a run or do soccer drills or for a grueling “Seven Minute Workout Except You Don’t Follow The Rules And Torture Your Sister by Making It Actually A Forty-Nine Minute Workout.” (But it’s okay, I’m not bitter). But, as delightful as those experiences have all been, I don’t think Skye really gets it. The beauty of the summer morning is not what it can do for your workout schedule, but rather in its gentle softening of an otherwise boiling day. It is to be appreciated in the way that I am now, sitting curled up on this frighteningly creaky porch (I mean, seriously, who built this?) and calling up the Sabrina Starr section of my brain to try and write away the residual panic from my nightmare.

Sabrina sighed as the plane took off. She wasn’t sure if she should have followed the voice in her head telling her to come here. Saying it out loud--even just thinking it--made it sound ridiculous. A dream, a voice in her mind. Barely more than a whim.

Worse than that, Sabrina wasn’t even sure where this whim was taking her. On a napkin in her pocket, she’d scrawled everything she remembered about the dream from the night before. The dark sky, lit only with spiderwebs of lightning, the shadowy figure huddled on a beach and soaked through with rain. The voice crying for help.

And a name. Aeaea.

After she’d woken up, Sabrina had looked up Aeaea, too tired to fully connect why the name felt familiar. Her heart had sunk further after reading the Wikipedia entry, and a breath of hopelessness had left her lips. According to the internet, Aeaea was not a real place. It had been the island prison of Circe. Fiction wasn’t new to Sabrina, and neither was mythology (she recalled an adventure spent with a ghost called Rainbow from a few years back).

Fictional places, though, were another matter. How could she get somewhere if she didn’t know where she was going? Was she trusting her gut with too much this time?

Sabrina folded up the napkin and put it back in her pocket. There was no point in worrying about that now. She’d looked at enough maps to make a guess at where Aeaea might be if it was real. When she got there, she could get more information. Sabrina Starr had survived this long in her career of rescues and whims. She could survive one more adventure. Worst case scenario, she said to herself, I spend a few days running around for nothing and have to brush up on my Greek.

She repeated it to herself like a promise. Worst case scenario, worst case scenario… Eventually, tired out from all her anxieties, and from trying desperately not to worry about what would come next, Sabrina fell asleep.

FROM THE POV OF RACHEL ELIZABETH DARE

“Okay, I give up. Tell me what’s wrong.” Annabeth’s voice startles me away from my plate of eggs, which I had been pushing around with a fork. Anxiety bubbles in my throat, just as it had been since I woke up, and food just doesn’t sound like a good idea.

“I--what?”

Annabeth waves her hand impatiently. “Don’t play dumb. I’ve been talking to you for five minutes and I don’t think you’ve looked up once. Also you’re always hungry in the mornings, so unless you, like, ate an entire cow before I got here, this ,” she gestures to my uneaten eggs, “is unusual behaviour.”

I give her a look. Sometimes, I get the feeling that Annabeth exists as a part of multiple different dimensions at once, like she’s having four other conversations that I can’t hear, and is still ten steps ahead of me in the one I’m actually a part of.

Or maybe I’m just easy to read.

“Nothing’s wrong.” I don’t want to talk about it. “I’m fine.” I’m terrified.

Annabeth sighs. “Is this about the prophecy?”

“No,” I spear another piece of egg, and don’t eat it. “Maybe. Yes.” I feel like going back to my cave and staying there for the rest of my life. Waiting with a book and some paints for the prophecy to get bored and go away. Maybe I’d take Jane with me, or Nico, for some company. That sounds nice.

My plate is pulled away from me as I aim my fork again. “I can’t pay attention when you do that,” Annabeth huffs. I think I wouldn’t invite her to stay in my cave. She’s too on the nose when I want to mope. Then again, she says the same about me.

“Fine,” I turn and face her. “Let’s talk feelings.” Connor Stoll, who had been making his way towards our table, abruptly turns around and walks the other way. I should get Chiron to hire a therapist. Gods know we need it.

Further proving my point, Annabeth’s eyes widen a little, before she remembers it is I who will be spilling. (I make a point to corner her later. It’s a routine we have). “Wow. You broke fast.”

I nod. “I’m tired and you’re annoying.” (False. We both know it. Another routine). “Like you said, I’m nervous about the prophecy.”

Annabeth nods. “And?”

I frown. “What do you mean, and ? There’s no and.”

Annabeth frowns back at me. A mirror, a mime, an annoyance. The nerve to look disappointed in me. “I thought you were spilling, Red.”

I roll my head back and study the roof of the pavilion, which Annabeth designed, and slowly lean my head down to stare at the table. I really don’t want to have this conversation. I go along anyways. “I’m worried about Jane.”

Annabeth leans back, triumphant. “Ah, yes. Your girlfriend.”

Maybe if I try reeeeeeeally hard, I can activate the Oracle of Delphi and freak Annabeth out enough to make her go away. “ Not my girlfriend. You know that.”

“You called Percy my boyfriend for weeks before we actually officially decided.”

I wave my hand dissmissively. “That’s different, you guys were dancing around each other for like three years. You needed a bit of a push. Jane and I kissed once! Over a week ago! And nothing came of it.” We actually haven’t really talked about it. We’re in this sort of in-between zone where we spend a ton of time together, but don’t have a label for it. Honestly, it’s been nice.

Annabeth grins, apparently reading my thoughts. “You’ve been eating lunch with the Demeter cabin, like, every other day. I saw you doing archery together yesterday. Both of you were awful at it, but you stayed there for hours. I’ve never seen you focus on something that long outside of your paintings.”

I stare at the ceiling again. Maybe Annabeth designed it so that a single square foot of rock might fall down onto my head and relieve me from this conversation. “Yes, fine, we spend a lot of time together. But that doesn’t make us a couple, and has nothing to do with what I’m actually worried about!” I can see in her face that Annabeth is more serious now, and is about to fully listen to me, when Percy and Malcolm show up, sliding into the seats across from us, and clanging several plates of pancakes down onto the table in front of them.

“Made them ourselves! Wanna share?” Percy gives Annabeth heart eyes and a kiss on the cheek when she folds a large blue pancake into thirds and bites it like a burrito. I roll my eyes at them because they are a horrifying and disgusting couple and also I kind of want to be them when I grow up. Malcolm ignores them, instead turning to me. “Were you talking about Jane?” he asks, pushing wire rimmed glasses up his nose.

I frown. “Sort of. Why?”

He shrugs, sheepish. “You know. Just, uh, just wondering.”

I narrow my eyes at him, then Percy, who tears himself away from looking at Annabeth to sigh dramatically. “Malcolm wants to ask out Jane’s sister. You know, the blond one.”

I snort. “ Skye? Seriously?”

Malcolm looks vaguely offended. “What’s so weird about that?”

“Sorry, it’s not weird.” I reach over the table to pat him on the shoulder with my fork. “Perfectly normal teenage hormones.” He glares at me and I smile sweetly back. “I just can’t imagine Skye going out with anyone, that’s all.”

Malcolm stares down at his pancake, disappointed. “Oh. You sure?”

I nod, feeling a little more normal with my friends and less doom-related breakfast conversation. My eggs are past the threshold of “warm and appetizing” but I take a bite anyway. “Pretty sure. Jane told me that she’s aroace and, based on past occurrences, there’s a seventy percent chance she’ll punch anyone who asks her out. Anyway, why the interest? I didn’t know you guys talked.”

Malcolm shrugs. “We don’t, really. She just seems cool.”

Percy pipes in, “He’s been practically obsessed with her since she won that soccer game against the Nike kids and made them cry.”

I nod approvingly. “Well, Malcolm, at least we know you have good taste.”

Annabeth pats him on the head, ignoring his complaints that her hand is covered in blue maple syrup. “Better luck next time, brother of mine.”

Piper and Leo join us next, contributing an alarming volume of grapes and a single hardboiled egg to the breakfast display. Leo grabs a pancake and wraps it around some grapes, before taking a big bite. “I hear you’re discussing Malcolm’s romantic failures,” he says around the world’s worst breakfast burrito. Piper gasps in mock offense, then swallows the unpeeled hardboiled egg whole, like a snake. (This is a regular morning routine. She’s trying to work up to being a sword swallower, since her dad did it in a movie once and she thought it looked like fun). “ Malcolm, why didn’t you come to me? I could have given you a verdict within five minutes!”

“I wanted advice on whether I should ask out that Heaphestus boy two weeks ago and you told me to fuck off.”

Piper pouts at him. “That’s on you, you caught me at a bad time.”

Annabeth holds up a pancake with the air of a respected royal and we turn to her. “As delightful as this is, Rachel and I were initially talking about her romantic prospects and also her worries and fears, and I feel that we should get back to that before she slinks off and avoids the rest of the conversation.”

I glare at her. “Why would you bring this away from the very nice conversation we were having about everyone else’s problems? Do you hate me?” Annabeth rolls her eyes. “No, dumbass, I’m just not letting you walk away from a potential breakthrough. Now, where were we? You were saying that you’re worried about Jane but it has nothing whatsoever to do with your relationship, or lack thereof.”

I give a long suffering sigh, and try to communicate telepathically with Piper that she needs to Save Me Now, but she’s looking at me in interest with her chin resting in her hands, her long fingers adorned with rings sent to her from her Mortal girlfriend, Shel, who bought them at a vintage punk store. The traitor. Defeated, I turn back to Annabeth.

“It’s just that, whatever ends up happening with this prophecy, I don’t want it to fuck her up, in the way the quests have sometimes done to us. Like, we’re used to this by now, but it hasn’t been a smooth road. I don’t exactly like going on quests, and at first I was really worried at the prospect of being included in a prophecy, since that’s fairly abnormal, but Jane was only made aware of her heritage a couple months ago! What if this turns out like Silena or Beckendorf or-or Jason, and the prophecy destroys her, and it’s all my fault because I’m the one who pulled her into all this?”

Everyone tenses up at the mention of Jason, but they continue to look at me with a mixture of concern and love that makes something soften inside of me. For the hundredth time, I think of how lucky I am to have these people who love me unconditionally. Even if they really, really need therapy.

“I know that I didn’t plan any of this, but we’re both tied in now, especially since both Chiron and I had the prophetic dream and I actually gave the prophecy that day in the woods, and, well, this isn’t her world yet. She’s only got a little bit of ichor in her, and she grew up knowing nothing of any of this. In a way, I did too, and I have no ichor, but I had clear sight. For me, it was ineffable, but she could technically leave any time, if it weren’t for the prophecy. She can leave, and I feel like it’s up to me to make sure that doesn’t change.”

“Oh, Rachel.” Annabeth reaches her arms out to me and I let myself be pulled into an embrace. “Jane’s going to be okay. We’ll make sure of it.”

Sabrina stood in line at the boat rental hut, her arms crossed and a frown plastered on her face. It had not been a successful afternoon. For hours, she’d been searching the coastal towns near where her plane landed, looking for some trace of Aeaea, or anything else she’d seen in her dream. She was used to working with dregs. It was normal for her to have to squint a little at the evidence, have to shuffle things together around big holes of “Maybe,” like she was working a jigsaw puzzle with half the pieces missing.

But this was something else.

Sabrina had read about places where mythology shaped the culture. Places where the tourist draws were events that had supposedly happened thousands of years ago, or creatures that only existed in grainy photographs and people’s imaginations. Hell, she’d met the Loch Ness monster. Was it insane for her to have assumed she’d be able to find the same kind of thing here? All her training and years of experience had told her that, if you sniff around long enough, you’ll find a conspiracy theorist or a slightly off-the-rails guidebook.

So far, though, Sabrina had found nothing. Absolutely nothing. She hunted around, searching up library catalogs, checking every store on the street. “Aeaea,” “Circe,” even “the Odyssey.”

Nothing.

The line edged along slowly, and Sabrina ran her hands up and down her arms. The air was chilly from its proximity to the cold sea water. There were three people in front of her now. She just had to wait a little longer, then she would have a boat and be able to explore these waters herself.

Something was wrong with this place. Something was wrong with all of these places. And Sabrina was going to figure out what.

Later, Jane and I are taking our time walking to the pegasus stables to watch the riding lesson that Rosalind has reluctantly agreed to let Batty take (provided that Percy, who’s teaching today, doesn’t let her fly high enough that she’ll die if she falls off, and that Batty wears all of the necessary protective gear). Jane looks lovely, wearing a sunshine-y yellow bandana that sets off her dark curls and warm sepia skin. She has on her Camp Half-Blood shirt again, and a short green skirt, and all of it should clash horribly, but it doesn’t.

We’ve decided to cut through the strawberry fields, and I swallow a sun-warmed strawberry while Jane tells me about the dream she had last night. I think back to my conversation with Annabeth this morning when she tells me of the dark woods and the feeling of drowning, the memory warping and the echoing voice. At some point we sit down in a patch of grass, a simple circle amidst strawberry plants with a couple logs where the campers and satyrs take their breaks when they work here. Jane finishes her story and we sit in comfortable silence for a few moments, only broken by the grunts of annoyance Jane makes while trying to get her plant powers to activate again. She’s been doing that a lot.

“Well that sucks,” I say finally. “Have you been having other dreams like it?”

Jane shrugs, the neon orange fabric of her shirt wrinkling on her shoulders. “One or two, I think. Last night’s was the first one I really remembered. ” She smiles out of the corner of her mouth. “I hardly ever remember my dreams. It used to upset me. I thought I was losing potential writing material.”

I laugh. It’s such a Jane thing to think, that I can’t help it. She goes quiet, like she’s reminiscing, and I picture a tiny version of Jane, sitting crossed-legged on her summer quilt, writing. I look at her now, scrunched up nose and big brown eyes. Oh gods, she must have been an adorable child.

“My mother used to say that my imagination was the eighth wonder of the world,” Jane says. She’s looking down the hill at the cabins, plant powers temporarily forgotten, and I remember her telling me about her mother, the first Elizabeth Penderwick, who came here and was a daughter of Demeter and loved opera. The Penderwick siblings’ beloved mother who died so young.

I move closer to Jane on the log. “I can understand why she’d say that.”

Jane smiles again, a little sad this time, a little absent, but full to the brim with love.

“Bet you she’s in Elysium,” I say softly. I explained the Underworld to Jane a couple weeks ago, and she’d gotten this same absent look on her face, that I now know means she’s thinking about her mother. Jane nods, now, then turns to me. “Could we talk about something else?” Her voice is quiet, her eyes a little shiny.

“Course,” I say. “Shall I regale you with tales of dimwittery at this camp in the years past?” I told her last week about the time some Hermes kids tried to order pizza to the camp, accidently causing Chiron to think we were under attack. Jane had nearly fallen off the bench laughing.

She grins now, but shakes her head. “Tell me what it’s like being an Oracle.” I give her a look. She’s asked me before and I never really know what to say. When I give prophecies, it’s like I black out. I’m taken over by another entity who shares my body. (“Like that lady in Suicide Squad ,” Leo had said when I tried to explain it to him once, but I’d refused to be compared to such a gods-fucking-awful movie). So, in a way, I don’t know what it’s like to be the Oracle.

As if reading my thoughts, Jane shakes her head. “Not that part. I’ve seen you all green and smokey, and I know you can’t feel it. I mean the other stuff. How did you know it was you? What did you have to do to become the Oracle? That kind of thing.” I relax a little. Jane’s asked me all sorts of weird questions about Greek mythology and the gods recently. She calls it “research for her book,” but sometimes I think she’s just nosy. It’s cute.

Jane shrugs and looks off into the distance. If you tilt your head a little you can kind of see the stables from here. We have fifteen more minutes to get there, according to my watch. I decide to take it easy. “Delphi is this weird ethereal spirit,” Jane continues, “but there’s also just everyday, Oracle you, who likes paint and denim and bagels.” At that, I laugh. “I actually don’t like bagels that much. I’m just late to breakfast so often that they’re usually the only things available.”

Jane pouts at me and plays with the bracelet tied around my wrist--the one she gave me. “You know what I mean! You know all this weird shit about me because my siblings don’t shut up at lunch, and I know stuff about you, like the denim thing, which I still think is funny by the way. But you’re also the freaking Oracle! Your dormant self lies waiting!” I laugh at her, and she rolls her eyes, but I see the corner of her mouth tilting up. “Rachel, that’s very cool!”

I give in. “Honestly, there’s not much to say, that’s why I don’t talk about it.” I pause. “Well no, it’s that a lot of the stuff beyond the obvious is actually sort of creepy and weird, and not in a good way. There’s stuff I try not to think about, is what I mean.”

The edge of her yellow bandana sticks up as Jane tilts her head at me. “That makes sense. You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to.”

I shake my head. “No, it feels okay right now.” I mean it. Now that I’ve gotten into the swing of it, I do want to talk about it. Still, a small sigh escapes me. “I like being the Oracle, because that’s what brought me to a place where I feel like I belong and I have people who love me. It’s nice to know that I’m fulfilling my purpose in life.”

Jane pulls her knees up to her chest. “But?”

“But I also get lonely.” It comes out in a rush. “There are other oracles, but I didn’t know about any of them until the Apollo thing happened, and even then, they’re all supernatural beings--I know, I know, but not in the way I am. It’s not the same. Also, there are all these weird rules. Like I have to stay an unmarried virgin my whole life.”

“That’s fucked,” Jane says softly.

“I know! Chiron won’t even tell me why, just that it’s ‘the rules’” I let out an annoyed huff. “And, like, it’s not even that the idea itself bothers me. That’s pretty much what I was planning to do with my life anyway.”

“Same.”

“But it’s the principle of the thing!” I flick a strand of hair out of my face, offhandedly noticing that the tip of my pinky finger is slightly green. I ignore it. It’s not important. “Just because I don’t want to have sex or get married doesn’t mean it’s a fair rule to impose on me! Besides, why is it always the women in these things whose identities are tied up in who they do or don’t fuck? Last I checked, Grover didn’t have to sign an ‘I shalt not fornicate’ contract when he became Lord of the Wild!”

“Exactly!” Jane raises her hands and shouts up to the sky. “Don’t you fuckers realize we’re more than that?”

“The Hunters of Artemis, too!” I’m a jack-in-the-box, and something’s winding me up. “Thalia and Reyna send me letters all the time, and they seem really happy! Which is great!” I pause to emphasize the greatness of their happiness. My pinky is completely green, now. “But, they also had to make a stupid ‘ode of chastity,’ like I did!”

“Are you kidding me?” Jane’s hair flips as she turns to me. “I thought Artemis was one of the good ones!”

My voice lowers to a husky rumble, and I stare into the distance towards you, the reader. “In a broken system, there are no good ones. Abolish the police.” I clear my throat and my voice turns back to normal. “Sorry, zoned out for a second.” My green pinky has begun to vibrate.

“Happens to the best of us,” Jane’s voice is light and nonchalant. “And yeah, I know. Pretty much all of the gods have skeletons sitting on their shoulders, but it just seems out of character for her. I thought all of Artemis’s groups were supposed to be safe havens, not oppressive structures in their own right.”

I frown. “Yeah you’re right, that is weird. I’d never thought of it much beyond the gods having weird rules, but I wonder if something bigger is at play. The gods might be fucked up in the way that regular people are, and are undoubtedly responsible for all sorts of crap. But then there's more personal things, like the ‘chastity vows’ the Hunters and I had to take, and the fact that Nico was initially outed by Eros, and the weird unexplained eye condition that Piper had during some of her quests that made her eyes a bunch of bright, Eurocentric colors, rather than their natural brown. All sorts of other stuff, too.”

“Wow!” Jane says, sitting up straight on the grass. Her hand moves from where it was resting in her lap to cover her heart. “It’s almost like a bunch of genuinely good and inspiring material, such as including prominent queer people and characters of color in fun children’s fantasy, as well as having an immortal group of warrior women who support each other and are free from the gaze of men, was taken into the hands of a cis white man armed with unchecked misogyny and a fair amount of white Twitter feminism, both of which really showed when he tried to create an inclusive and empowering book series for children! Like yeah, it had its moments, and definitely some good characters, but overall, a lack of meaningful research in certain areas really made it fall flat!” Once again, I stare through the bindings of URLs and internet coding, now joined by Jane as we lock eyes with you, the reader. This time, we hold eye contact for nearly a minute, giving you time to read and process the long tangent spat out by this fanfic’s author, who, if we’re being honest, has gone just a tad off the rails right now. Finally, Jane and I look away from you, and resume our roles as fictional characters, still shaking off that strange cloud that comes with staring into the soul of those who give you life.

“Ugh, what’s going on with me today?” Jane groans at the same time I mutter, “What’s Twitter?” We turn to each other, blinking in the sunlight, then grin. This is normal. We’re fine. Jane looks up at the sky again. “I wonder if the gods are watching us. Maybe we should make them think we suck so they’ll leave you alone.”

I laugh as she sticks her tongue out, grinning wickedly at a nearby cloud. “Better yet, make them think we’re too powerful to be messed with,” I say. Jane sees me watching her and opens her mouth, sucking the cloud in between her teeth. The sky seems bluer in the space where it had been, and Jane’s eyes glitter with mirth as she swallows. “Mmm, tastes like sugar.” I giggle, feeling a small shiver on the top of my head. When I peer up, I see another cloud has floated over to me. I open my own mouth, and take it in, just as Jane did hers. “Sugar, yes. But there’s a touch of blood, too,” I say. Jane nods sagely. “What were we talking about?”

“The inherent misogyny in much of Greek mythology and the world of Camp Half-Blood in general.”

Jane nods again. “Right. A very important topic. It makes it weird when I’m writing sometimes. You know, cause I want to bring in Circe and Zeus and Apollo and all these fascinating characters, but there’s just so much bad stuff tied up with them that comes up when I research.” She looks down at our feet, which are standing in the midst of a strawberry patch. We seem to have been walking, crushing sweet summer strawberries as we go, which is odd because I don’t remember getting up. “You know Rachel, I’m feeling a bit strange.”

I look at her, and see an odd blankness in her warm brown eyes. “Now that you mention it, Jane, so am I.”

“My thoughts and words are my own,” Jane says, “But there’s something up with my body. I can’t really feel it.”

“I agree, I’ve honestly gone a bit numb.” I try to glance down at my fingers, wondering idly if they’ve gotten any more green, but find that my neck won’t bend.

Jane’s eyebrows furrow. “Yet, at the same time, I feel as though I could do anything. Grow another grass blade. Grow a flower. Grow a tree. Bend the world to my will if I wanted to.”

“Or is it the world bending me to its will.” I grin at my own philosophical point, but find that the smile won’t go away. Pretty fucking inconvenient, since the next thing I was going to bring up was part of the whole serious misogyny conversation. I decide to go for it anyway. “And I’m not the only one with weird rules!” Jane nods, as if this is a perfectly normal segway, and the only extraneous thought that floats through my mind as we find ourselves walking down a hill is how unfair it is that she still has control over her neck and I don’t. “Remember when I told you about the Hunters of Artemis?”

“Oh yeah! Your friends Reyna and Thalia, right?”

“Yeah, them! They send me letters sometimes, and seem really happy, which is great.” I pause, meaning to add emphasis, when I’m hit with a great sensation of deja-vu. “Wait a second, we already talked about this, didn’t we?” I try to remember, but something in my mind is rapidly melting. I cannot find it. I cannot find anything.

“Jane?” My voice quivers, and I squeeze my eyes shut. Oh gods, please let this be a dream. For a moment, I try to convince myself that it’s the Oracle of Delphi taking over, just like she did the other day and generally does a couple times a year. But I know that I’m lying. This is not what that feels like. “Jane, where are you?” I can barely move my mouth to say the words. I can feel nothing but the frozen fear of paralysis, of lost control. When I open my eyes, this other thing in my body has brought me to the edge of the forest. “Jane? Jane?” She could be right beside me, unable to speak, and I wouldn’t know because I can’t turn my head, can’t move my eyes, can barely even hear right now.

It’s okay, something says.

“Jane?” It’s not her voice. It’s no one’s voice.

It’s okay. You’re home.

With every cut the wooden oars made through the choppy ocean water, Sabrina knew she was getting closer. She could feel it in her bones, in her brain, a little voice that whispered in her ear. It had been three hours. Her body was worn down, energy levels dipping dangerously low, when she felt something scrape the bottom of her boat.

A rock.

Frantically, she peered through the fog that had begun to surround her boat a mile ago. The island. Had she finally made it?

As if answering her call, a peel of thunder rang out, and Sabrina’s boat began to fill with rain that pounded down from the sky. The storm from her dream. She rowed even faster, then, fear sparking a renewed strength in her tired muscles.

Just as Sabrina was about to reach the shore, a massive wave crashed over her, and her boat capsized. She came back up, sputtering, holding her sopping wet bag above her head. Another wave swept against Sabrina’s face, and she found herself spitting out a mouthful of saltwater. Finally, she washed up on the shore, heaving breaths raking through her lungs.

Sabrina blinked, pushing herself up onto her elbows. It was real. She was here.

She had made it.

FROM THE POV OF ROSALIND PENDERWICK

It’s been a pleasant day so far. Breakfast with my siblings and some of the Demeter cabin (though Jane did seem a bit absent-minded). Miranda, Florien, and Rio convinced me to practice some plant magic with them for a couple hours and I built up to growing a small sunflower. Lunch (again with Jane seeming distracted, though Rachel ate with us this time, which appeared to help). Then, Skye and Jeffrey disappeared with some of the older campers (supposedly for a regular game of soccer, but the unsettling gleam in their eyes had me doubting that was all there was too it), Jane and Rachel went to take a walk in the strawberry fields, and Batty and I were left to prepare for a pegasus riding lesson. If it had been up to Batty, the latter could have easily taken up the entire afternoon, but changing into durable pants and finding a bandana can only take so long.

After a somewhat restless hour, during which I grew three peonies and Batty rhapsodized about the stable of unicorns that another demigod camp apparently has, Batty and I arrive at the stable. We’re ten minutes early, and she’s been talking a mile a minute the whole time, not stopping from before. I swear I now know as much about pegasuses as she does. According to Rachel, the teacher today is Percy, her friend, who’s very responsible “when he puts his mind to it.” I wasn’t sure how to tell her that’s actually not very comforting, but Batty looked so excited and I figured there will be plenty of other people there, so. Why not. She’s been spending so much time there anyway.

Needless to say, I very much regret my decision now.

The stables are modest, made of wood and painted green, and I’ve been there several times by now. There’s a long line of stalls visible when we first walk in, but Batty skips straight to the far end, where a massive pegasus the color of a carrot pokes its head over the door and nuzzles Batty’s hair. She looks up at me with a smile that could melt anyone’s heart, and pats the horse on the nose. “Rosy, this is Queen Lotus Flower. Percy said we have a impenetrable bond.”

I look at the two of them with a questioning gaze. How can they both have the exact same puppy-dog eyes? I swear to god. The gods. All of them. “Batty, sweetheart. That horse is like ten feet tall.”

She nods enthusiastically. “I know, she’s so much taller than any other horse I’ve seen. Percy says she has the biggest wingspan of any horse at camp.”

I nod, slowly, wondering why my sister picked the biggest pegasus to fall in love with. At that moment, Percy pushes the door open. “Hey Batty! Ready for your lesson?” Batty leaves her post by Queen Lotus Flower to wrap her arms around my waist and nod. I look Percy over. He’s a few inches taller than me, with brown skin and curly hair. A beaded camp necklace, orange tshirt, and jeans. Weird arm tattoo aside, he’s one of the most normal-looking people at camp. I’ve only met him a couple times before, but, my nerves over Batty flying around on massive horses aside, I do trust him. Rachel seems to have a good taste in friends. Also, Batty likes him, and she’s still shy around a good number of Skye and Jane’s friends back in Cameron.

For the next few minutes, I watch as Percy instructs Batty on buckling Queen Lotus Flower’s giant saddle and looping the bridle over her nose. Not wavering a bit from the “lesson” aspect of all this, he steps back to let her show what she’s already learned from hanging around the stables so often, only stooping in to guide her when she gets confused. As the minutes tick by, more people show up for the lesson: three other students, and a good sized crowd of people who just like watching the pegasuses. By then, I’m seated on the grass outside the stables, soaking in the blistering sun and watching as Percy (seated atop a wiry black pegasus who Batty pointed out as Blackjack) darts around the large dusty enclosure, making final preparations for the lesson.

Skye and Jeffrey show up then, and sit on either side of me. I want to ask them where Jane and Rachel are, but they’re talking non-stop about a game they just played in the woods with some of the other campers, only switching the subject when Percy and Blackjack return and they begin discussing whether or not it should be scientifically possible for a horse to fly.

Just as Batty and Queen Lotus Flower begin a gentle trot around the enclosure, I feel a tap on my shoulder, and hear the familiar sound of Tommy’s chuckle. “She’s got a weird knack for that,” he says. I nod, grinning.

It’s been good with us. We’ve had breakfast together a few times, even played a game of basketball one afternoon. Our conversations aren’t the same as they used to be, and there’s a sense of newness that feels cold and strange every so often. But it’s good. It feels right. At least for now, this feels like where we’re supposed to be.

As Percy starts demonstrating how to take flight, I look around again. Jane and Rachel still aren’t here. They promised to come. (“For moral support!” Jane had said. “Wouldn’t miss it,” Rachel had added with a smile). I try to push it out of my head. This lesson is a big deal. Batty’s going to be flying.

She leans forward on Queen Lotus Flower’s neck.

They begin to run, moving together like a single being.

Just as they burst into the air, Batty’s euphoric smile lighting up the sky, Katie grabs my shoulders from behind. I shush her so I can lean forward and watch Batty silhouetted against the pegasus’s wide orange wings.

“Rosalind. Rosalind, guys. ” Something about the panic in Katie’s voice makes me turn around. Her usually tied back hair is loose and her clothes rumpled, giving the impression that she was dragged out of bed for this. (Some part of my brain distantly remembers her saying she was going to take a nap). Skye and Jeffrey turn around, too.

“What, what’s happening?” I reach out my hands, trying to calm her as she collapses into a squat, breathing heavily.

“Billie… found me in the cabin… had been looking for you guys… been running all over the camp… lucky I remembered about the riding lesson…”

Jeffrey leans over and puts his hands on her shoulders. She stares down at the dirt while her breathing levels.

“Katie, what are you saying? Why were you and Billie looking for us?”

She looks up, and I see that her forehead is drawn into well-worn creases of worry. “Jane and Rachel have gone into the woods.”

Something was wrong. Sabrina crouched on the wet sand, straining to see through the heavy rain. In her dream there had definitely been someone else on the island. She remembered the hunched figure, the sound of sobs leaking through the rain.

But she’d circled the shore at least twice by now, and there was nobody to be found. “Am I late or something?” she wondered aloud. Somehow, she’d gotten that dream It felt like it had been sent to her. Why did it show a person when there was no one?

Sabrina sighed and began to traipse inland, tucking a knife in her pocket. It wasn’t a big island, and she might as well find some shelter aside from her boat, which was now overturned somewhere on the beach. Circe lived here, didn’t she? There must be some sort of roof, especially if this kind of weather was standard.

Or maybe this was just a random island and there was no Aeaea and Sabrina’s dream had just been the unhinged work of her unconscious mind.

There was a small grassy hill set aside from the sand, which Sabrina crawled up with the determination of a dying warrior. Something was pushing her back. An invisible force, a last crumb of survival instinct, plain old fatigue, she wasn’t sure. But something wanted her out of here, and it pushed back harder and harder as she climbed.

She let out a cry of frustration, clawing at the ground, at the air, at whatever this goddamn thing was, and found a renewed burst of strength that pulled her to the top of the hill. Once there, the force that pushed back ebbed a little, like it was giving up. Sabrina let herself relax, and simply took in the view for a moment.

The hill she lay on top of gave way to a deep valley, sprawling and green. In one corner, there was a cluster of trees that looked healthy and comfortable, despite being on a random Greek island in the middle of the ocean. A modest garden lay next to it, somehow appearing unaffected by the rain, and a narrow river wound around the whole scene.

There was also a house.

Sabrina wasn’t sure what she might have expected from the lair of an infamous Greek enchantress, but it wasn’t this.

She hauled herself up on the hill and started down, rushing through the rain onto a wide wooden porch. There was a large stone vat of something dark and crumbly, with a heavy looking staff of sorts leaning against it. The door to the house was short, and Sabrina heard it scrape on the floor when she pushed it open.

The scene awaiting her was surprisingly cozy when she stepped inside. There was a fire in the hearth and rows upon rows of little viles arranged on a set of shelves beside it. A broom leaned against the wall. Sabrina looked around, noting the way that the rain didn’t make any sound as it thrashed against the roof and window, and the almost drug-like stupor that threatened to take over her brain, whispering that everything was fine, she was safe, nothing bad could happen to her.

Sabrina had encountered hypnosis before, and it only ever made her more jittery.

There was an open hatch in the floor with stairs that lead into darkness. She followed them down, feeling the air grow cooler with every step. Sabrina was quiet, taking tiny steps on her toes, and wincing when one of the stairs creaked. She didn’t know what was down there, and she didn’t want to find out the hard way. But there were no arrows flying up from the space below, no sounds of footsteps or slashes of swords.

Sabrina stepped onto a dirt floor and let herself exhale, shuffling along until her toe hit something hard. Only seasoned reflexes made her reach for the knife in her pocket instead of crying out in fear. She knelt down and squinted in the darkness, trying to see what she’d hit.

A leg.

She frowned, shaking it until she heard a low growl. “Stop that.” She stopped.

“Who are you?” Sabrina leaned closer. If they hadn’t killed her yet she was probably safe.

Instead of answering, they reached out a hand. Sabrina could see a gold ring on the thumb that glinted in a little sliver of light that had crept down from the room above. “Pull me up,” the figure said. “I’ve been paralyzed by the witch.”

Helping the stranger sit turned out to be no simple feat. They were tall and muscular, wearing a cape and a heavy metal chest plate. “The witch?” she questioned, propping them up against one of the cellar’s dirt walls. Her eyes were beginning to adust to the dark, and she could just make out their sharp chin sticking out as their head lolled back.

The figure made a noise. “The witch, the sorceress, the woman. Whatever you want to call her. I figure she sent you down too?” They snorted. “Good luck. I told Zeus not to sent mortals, but does he ever listen? You’re gonna die.”

Sabrina tried to piece together what she could from all this. The witch must be Circe, unless she’d wound up on an entirely different island. And if Circe was going around paralyzing people, then something must be going on. She must be hiding something. As for the person in front of her, Sabrina wasn’t sure who they were. By the way they talked about Zeus, and casually said “mortals,” she’d guess some sort of god? As if that narrowed it down. She’d have to be careful.

“Why did she paralyze you?”

Another weird gutteral noise. “She didn’t like my offer. It’s not the first time this has happened.”

She was growing impatient. Why’d he have to be so vague? “What?”

“Yeah, I don’t know why he always sends me. I don’t think he trusts me. He’d rather me stay her paralysed in the basement of a witch than come back home.”

Sabrina let out an exasperated sigh. This wasn’t working and she needed answers. A whole coast of people with mythology-shaped holes in their memories awaited her. “You’re going to need to be a little more specific. I don’t think we’re on the same page.”

The figure sounded confused. “What do you mean? Don’t you know who I am?”

She leaned forward and inspected them in the darkness. “No. No I don’t.”

They slid their eyes down to her face. “I am the god Apollo. I came here for Circe and she did this to me.”

“What? Why?”

The stairs creaked behind Sabrina and she felt a long nail drag up her back. “I just want to be left alone,” said a voice as deep and powerful as the smell of red wine. “You don’t mind, do you?” Before Sabrina could grab her knife and turn around, before she could even scream, strong arms had surrounded her shoulders and a hand was clamping a damp cloth over her nose and mouth. Shock made her breath in, sharply, and she smelled the sweetness of sleeping drugs.

A heartbeat, a brief struggle, and Sabrina Starr was gone.

#cruel summer fic #cameron writes #the penderwicks #penderwicks #camp half blood #camp half-blood #rachel elizabeth dare #jane penderwick #rosalind penderwick

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carolyncaves · 4 years

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Day five of the Spring Fest is Fresh, and I decided to use it in the context of Jiang Cheng being grouchy, because I’m always trying to be too clever.

1323 words, Jiang Cheng. Post-CQL. Wei Wuxian and Nie Huaisang aren’t literally in the scene but they’re effectively present by way of their antics. Aroace!Jiang Cheng vs ‘The Bachelor’ (figuratively)

It was a beautiful evening at Lotus Pier. The sun was setting at the water’s edge, casting the low-sprawling clouds dusty with pale orange and periwinkle glowing in the spaces between them. The air was cool and pleasing on Jiang Cheng’s face. His head of household and principal advisor was walking toward him along the boardwalk bearing a letter sealed with Nie Huaisang’s personal emblem. Jiang Cheng scowled and said, “What fresh hell is this?”

“A message has arrived from Sect Leader Nie,” she said placidly, as if Jiang Cheng had asked his question in the same fashion. “It was delivered by courier, flown promptly from Unclean Realm via sword, so I thought Sect Leader should receive it immediately instead of in the morning.”

Jiang Cheng somewhat begrudgingly allowed her hand it to him. He cracked the charcoal-colored wax. He read the message. He got about three sentences in before he felt the fires of fury start to rise up in him. He had to slow down and read carefully to make it to the end. “What is the meaning of this?” he demanded of her, because his mind was throwing the pieces together in various ways, and he despised them all.

“I have not read the message myself, Sect Leader.”

“It’s about a matchmaking arrangement for me, which Nie Huasiang has apparently already planned in its entirety to take place in three days’ time, and it says ‘with the indispensable help of your loyal staff’!”

Jiang Cheng had actually been relieved when the ninth matchmaker refused to work with him six years ago – though it had taken him over a year after that to properly examine why. He eventually concluded that the woman he was looking for didn’t exist because he wasn’t actually looking for a woman. Not because he was looking for a man instead – there was more than enough of that between Wei Wuxian and his precious Hanguang Jun. No, it was that when he really concentrated on it, the thought of taking some woman into his life and his bed and doing to her the things a man did to his wife … Jiang Cheng found the idea … not exactly repulsive, not most of the time. More like bizarre. He wasn’t interested in sharing quite that much space with another human, much less regularly. Much less to have them expect it and want it, and for Jiang Cheng to have a duty to provide it well.

In hindsight it was easy to see why he’d given the matchmakers such demands. Now he was blackballed, and he growled at anyone who so much as thought about bringing it up. They assumed it was because he was sore, and he was – just not the way they thought. He didn’t want anyone continuing to pursue it. He would have no heir by blood, but there were several promising disciples of the Jiang clan, and one of them would have to do. As for family, Jin Ling was as much his son as any natural child, and half the work now that he spent most of his time at Carp Tower. Jiang Cheng considered the matter settled.

His brave head of household, apparently, had other plans.

“Ah,” she said, not even pretending to be surprised. “When last we were at Unclean Realm, for Sect Leader Nie’s wedding, several of us were engaged in conversation by the Sect Leader and Senior Wei …”

“Who?!” Zidian crackled at Jiang Cheng’s side, and if his advisor swallowed hard in sudden fear, she deserved it. Betraying her own sect leader to parlay with those two malicious conniving …

“Sect Leader Nie and Senior Wei Wuxian,” she said again, and to her credit, it was almost as confidently as she’d said it before. “They told me they’d heard of talk among the people of Yunmeng about how you were alone so often now, with Sect Leader Jin spending so much more of his time in Lanling, and they commented on how admired you are and how compassionate your people must be to think of you, and then one of them suggested that perhaps a matchmaking event could be arranged in which suitors were carefully selected in advance and came to Lotus Pier to meet you in the grand and beautiful setting of your home …”

“And you helped!” Jiang Cheng should dismiss her for this. He should banish her from Yunmeng altogether.

He himself had been accosted by Nie Huaisang on the same subject at the same event, he now had unpleasant reason to recall. Nie Huaisang had said, “There’s something out there for everyone, Jiang-xiong. Just look at me and Meihua. Don’t you know companionship can take all kinds of shapes?” He’d been acting stupid behind his fan, as if Jiang Cheng didn’t know better now, but he was serious. Like he was insightfully asking if Jiang Cheng was just a repressed cut-sleeve who needed to get a grip. Like he thought he really knew something about Jiang Cheng.

“Sect Leader,” Jiang Cheng’s advisor said lightly, in a way that would have disconcertingly reminded him of Jin Guangyao if she hadn’t been so steadfast of heart and he hadn’t been such a disaster of a human being. “It so happens that the senior and the Sect Leader put to words something I and many of your most faithful servants had already been worrying about in our hearts. It is our desire for Sect Leader to know the peace and fulfillment of a comforting household.”

“My household is perfectly comforting,” Jiang Cheng snapped. “I am comforted a great deal by my privacy.”

“Perhaps, Sect Leader. Still, it is undeniable that the Sect Leader is even more comforted by Sect Leader Jin’s presence, when he is here. And now he will not be here very often.”

“So what?”

“So this humble advisor should report that there has been talk of various measures to handle this change among the Sect Leader’s faithful staff. Measures which include hiring concubines to, well, comfort you at regular intervals, and … medicated tea.”

Jiang Cheng could feel his teeth grinding together. His servants were so oppressed and terrorized, were they? They were driven by him to conspire and connive? He would show them ‘terrorized’ if they wanted to see it!

“Esteemed Sect Leader,” his advisor said, interrupting his internal tirade with a low bow, “please at least consider it. I did not sense any reason to doubt the good faith of Sect Leader Nie’s intentions.” She wisely left any mention of Wei Wuxian’s intentions out entirely. “I’m sure each of these suitors will have fine qualities, and they have each agreed to travel all this way and present themselves to you, despite the past.” Your past, she said without saying – she really had a lace tongue. She’d been in her post longer than all her incompetent predecessors combined because of it. “If the Sect Leader does not make a selection or at least entertain his suitors seriously, I cannot imagine the difficulty there would be trying to make any similar arrangement in the future.” This was Jiang Cheng’s last chance, she meant, because if he petulantly threw them all out after they had been assured this time would be different, there would really be no one under any heaven-forsaken rock in the entire cultivation world who would take him seriously as a match.

That wasn’t a bad thought.

There was the matter of the medicated tea and concubines, though.

“Bah,” Jiang Cheng said, storming around her and shoving the letter back into her hands. She would understand this as a ‘maybe’.

They were already coming, so he could receive them at least. Tiresome as it sounded, it would be uncivil to do otherwise, too much so even for him. Jiang Cheng would strangle Wei Wuxian if he ever saw him again. He would stuff Nie Huaisang’s latest precious fan down his precious throat.

#untamed spring fest #cql #the untamed #mzds #jiang cheng #i'm trying to surrender fully to the nonchronological ficlets au style of fic writing i've seen some fabulous examples of in this fandom #because this wip would be longer and more involved than i would be willing or able to commit to if i were to actually write it out #i've accepted that #so i'm using it to experiment with this style #(aka at the moment my mental state has no bandwidth for things like 'restraint' so i've cast it aside)#(i may pick it back up later)#(but for now ... here read this!)#my fic #jc

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anonymousrobinhoodqueer · 4 years

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I’m rewatching The Orville. I’m in season 2 again and I’ll probably go back to season one and write more about those episodes but right now episode 6 is getting to me again.

It got to me the first time I watched it and it still does. I think part of it is that the show does not always clearly show how quickly time passes for the crew. But for this episode I’m pretty sure it takes place only over a couple of days.

This is the episode where Dr Claire figures out that she feels attracted physically, and possibly romantically, to Isaac, an artificial being who states multiple times he feels no emotions and is only there to study the crew’s behavior. Claire asks Isaac out on a date and he decides that this is an ideal opportunity to observe dating culture first hand, and tells her this.

Isaac and Claire have spent a lot of time together. He teaches her younger son piano, they were in a shuttle crash together and he has become a sort of friend, from her side. But he still does not feel emotions, as he states over and over again.

Before the date, Isaac asks advice of other crew members, so that it is an authentic experience, and downloads all personal information about Claire off of the ships databases. Claire then complains that he is not spontaneous. The crew offers him advice and tells a few personal anecdotes, which leads to Isaac breaking into Claire’s quarters at 3 am with a cake and Claire breaking up with him, shouting “for gods sake I can’t even kiss you!”

Isaac again seeks out advice from the crew. Which leads to them simulating a human body for him so that Claire can kiss him. Which Isaac is totally on board for. Isaac even deletes all the information he had downloaded about her. And they get a second chance at a first date, great. But this is where it gets weird for me.

I feel that Claire was totally in the cool breaking up with him because she felt they were in compatible.

But from the point where he changes his entire appearance to fit her standards so that he can conform to her, that’s where I started to feel weird the first time I watched the episode. And then she kissed him. And then he said “oh did I do that right” or something like that, “if you would like to kiss again, we can.” And then Claire just decides that they are going to have sex. And with out talking to him aside from saying “oh I want to do so much more than that” she makes the simulation change to her quarters and then the scene changes to show a brief glimpse of them having sex, you see a shirtless humanoid Isaac, from the waist up, laying on her bed and Claire’s head as they kiss, Isaac’s eyes were wide and blinking robotically. Which to me felt scared almost.

The next morning we see Claire talking to her friends about how perfect he was at having sex and how she is in love with him. And then it cuts to Isaac asking John, the same crewmen who gave him all the other advice, how to break up with Claire. Because since they have had sex, they have reached the logical end of a human coupling and thus the end of his research period. Which is exactly what he had told Clair from the beginning. John tells him that this will likely upset Claire and Isaac says that he does not want to cause Claire any distress. So John suggests acting in a way that causes Claire to break up with him. Which causes Isaac to act like a jerk and Claire to get mad and Isaac to ask if they are breaking up and then Claire gets madder and says yes.

The entire crew is then passive aggressive to Isaac. And at the beginning of the episode I sympathized with Claire. But as an aroace person I am much more in line with Isaac. Especially since he is literally asexual and Aromantic. He does not have emotions. He does not have sexual attraction. He told her from the beginning that this was an opportunity to research dating. He probably should have asked someone other than John how to breakup but he does not understand human emotion.

When I had my first girlfriend she was distraught when breaking up with me, and I was sad that I hurt her but I was not sad that the relationship had ended. I had been trying to figure out how to end it.

I am furious that the crew treated Isaac as though he was completely in the wrong. Not only was he completely clear about his intentions from the very beginning, but I feel that Claire took advantage of his naivety in the sexual department. The fact that the took him to bed immediately after his first kiss was wrong to me. He had been on one date before. I just.

Claire tells him that she does not want to see him outside of work, which is fine, she has that right, she was hurt, she has emotions.

Isaac tries to accommodate this request. But he starts making mistakes. Which has never happened before. So Ed, the captain, is goes to talk to him. And Isaac is like “I’m trying to do what she asked but a number of my algorithms have changed to to the amount of time spent with Dr Finn” and eventually they figure out that Isaac literally functions better with Claire.

Isaac apologizes for hurting Claire, that was not his intention, and determines that it would benefit them both to enter a longer term relationship.

I realize that I am looking at this from a very different point of view than a lot of people. And if there are any romantic or allo people who have something to say please do. I’ve watched this episode multiple times and every time it makes me feel worse. I would especially like to hear from people who have seen the show obviously but also other asexual people.

I love Claire, I love that she had two kids on her own. I love everything about her, even her friendship with Isaac. I love that it went from “I hate that this robot constantly belittles everyone” to “this robot saved my children’s lives continues come and care for them and me when there are countless other life forms he could observe”

I’m going to post this now because I may never say everything I’m thinking.

#the orville #isaac #dr claire finn #molly talks #molly watches tv

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sparklyjojos · 4 years

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It’s Aromantic Spectrum Awareness Week 2020, so let me yell again about my favorite CANON AROMANTIC CHARACTER that’s been happily aro-ing ever since 1996, detective Jounosuke Ryuuguu from mystery writer Ryusui Seiryoin’s JDC Series (sadly not translated to English yet).

It’s this charming gentleman right here:

(The picture is from a manga very loosely based on the books. This post is about what’s in the novels themselves, though.)

While the word “aromantic” or an equivalent isn’t used--as you may expect from something written in Japan in the 90s--Jounosuke not being romantically attracted to any gender is brought up in plain writing multiple times, in such a way that there is no doubt about his identity. (I’d also say he’s asexual, but that’s more because there’s nothing that would hint otherwise.)

For example, here’s a fragment from Cosmic (1996) [translation mine; the terms “opposite” and “same” gender are used because, again, 90s Japan]:

学生時代から、交際を申しこまれて幾度か異性とつきあったことはあったが、それらの体験は退屈なものだった。親がセッティングした見合いの席に臨んでも、相手に惹かれたことは一度もない。城之介はどうも異性に興味を抱くことができないのだ。……かといって同性に過度の興味を抱くわけでもない。人間として、城之介は孤独を好み、謎解きという行為のみを愛していた。

Since his school days, [Jounosuke] would on a few occassions accept the offer to go out with someone of the opposite gender, but found those experiences tedious. Even if he attended the meetings with potential partners that his parents set up, he never once felt attracted to the other person. Try as one might, Jonosuke was unable to take any interest in the opposite gender. ...That being said, it's not that he had any particular interest in the same gender either. Jounosuke personally prefered to stay alone, and only ever fell in love with solving mysteries.

Or take this short and sweet one from Carnival (1999) [translation mine]:

異性でも同性でも。自分は他人に対して恋愛感情が欠落している、とは城之介本人の弁である。

Jounosuke himself stated that he lacked romantic feelings towards others, no matter if they were the opposite or the same gender.

---

More things about Jounosuke so you understand why I love him so much as rep:

-- He’s one of the leads, if not THE lead of the series, and I have never seen a person in the JDC fandom who wouldn’t like him. He may just be the most universally beloved character from the series.

-- He completely defies the cold, unfeeling, evil aro trope. He loves his friends and sister, and it’s constantly brought up how warm, amiable, and full of good-hearted humor he is. (One of the things I find great about the series is just how many male characters are defined by their kindness, warmth and love.)

-- He LOVES puns. He loves puns and languages so much he turned it into a cryptology-oriented detective career. He’s also associated with dragons (one of his nicknames is even Ryuu-san, lit. Mr. Dragon). And he likes sweet things. That’s right, Jounosuke was a pun-loving, cake-eating dragon aroace BEFORE IT WAS COOL.

-- There are moments so relatable they hurt. Jounosuke trying to figure out if a heated exchange between his sister and her boyfriend is a normal couple conversation, only to realize that he doesn’t actually know what a “normal couple conversation” would entail. Jounosuke just happening to immediately relate to and befriend a guy who’s also not interested in romance. Jounosuke wondering about whether his emotions after said friend’s death--emptiness, depression, a slight feeling of somehow being betrayed--are similar to what other people may feel towards their loves leaving them (all while the narration assures us that Jounosuke still doesn’t have any romantic feelings towards anyone. That’s another thing I love this series for: there is so much deep friendship and familial love in this.)

-- [mega spoiler in this paragraph] The writing (likely unintentionally) takes your worst expectations about aro characters in fiction and subverts them. In another series, seeing the should-be-aro guy out of nowhere confess his love to a woman and get stupidly killed off right afterwards would make the reader sigh with frustration over yet another straight-washed character. But here? It turns out there’s a (straight) imposter running around, trying to get the real Jounosuke killed, but it’s the imposter who ends up dying, and our Jounosuke is as safe and as aro as ever. (I want to reiterate: the hero is aromantic (probably aroace), and his counterpart that’s trying to kill him is straight. This happens approximately NEVER in fiction, it’s usually the other way around.)

-- Similarly, there’s a point at which Jounosuke’s many, many quirks, identity issues and personality traits are explained as products of his unusual upbringing, nurture rather than nature--but unlike what a pessimistic reader would expect, being aromantic is not explained this way. (This may sound like I’m praising a tiny thing that should be the bare minimum, but to an aro reader jaded by previous media experiences, it was an enormous relief.)

-- Despite many other main characters being killed off, JOUNOSUKE SURVIVES AND LIVES HAPPILY EVER AFTER (AND SINGLE). The last time we see him (well, last time for now, as the series is on hiatus), we’re told that he’s just fine, has gained new confidence, and is working hard on perfecting his puns. LIFE GOALS.

JDC series may not be for everyone, and it’s far from perfection with how it portrays some other queer characters, but if you can read Japanese, I highly recommend you check it out!

And remember:

#maijo and jdc stuff #aromantic #asaw #asaw 2020 #asaw2020

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ilovemygaydad · 5 years

Text

title: super cool

pairings: roceit, analogical, qpr remy/remus

summary: roman, who is a giant nerd, is pining after the most popular guy at school.

word count: 2.4k

warnings: swearing, anger, frustration, crying, a couple of sexual jokes (skip the tiny scene that starts with remy speaking), sympathetic deceit, remus, threats (as jokes), self-deprecation, lying, meddling with relationships, shame, brief humiliation, embarrassment, the briefest food mention, slight misunderstandings, awkward conversations, and possibly something else

a/n: this was commissioned by the wonderful, lovely @adultmorelikeadolt who suggested that i write this after complaining about not having any ideas on what to write. this definitely has room for a second part, so... maybe i’ll write another? idk. maybe if i get an idea ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ also yes i know that there are a ridiculous amount of ace and aro people in this fic but guess what? idgaf!!!! ace!roman and aroace!pat, remus, and remy are all great and i’d be an idiot if i didn’t add them all in. not to mention a little bit of enby!logan!!!! i’m in love with them all so i get to make the rules

commission info (two slots for 50% off are still open!)

consider buying me a coffee

---

“Roman, stop being a fucking creep,” Virgil chided from his perch on Logan’s lap. He flicked an overcooked pea from his tray, which hit Roman square on the cheek.

“I am not being a creep,” Roman snapped, not taking his eyes off of the boy he was staring at. “I’m admiring.”

Logan quirked an eyebrow, shifting their gaze between Roman and the boy across the courtyard. “I’m almost certain that you’re being a creep.”

“You’re biased because you’re Virgil’s partner! That’s not fair at all,” Roman huffed. He turned to look at Patton. “I’m not being a creep, right?”

“Well...”

Roman gasped. He dramatically pressed the back of his hand to his forehead. “I can’t believe I’ve been betrayed by all of my friends! I thought you cared about me, but I was horribly mistaken!”

“Maybe if you didn’t awkwardly stare at Damien during lunch, we wouldn’t be having this conversation,” Virgil suggested.

“Well, it’s not as if I could talk to him!” Damien Taylor was easily the most popular guy at Sanders High. There was no chance in hell that Roman Fairfield, resident history nerd and drama geek, could so much as stand within five feet of him, let alone strike up a conversation.

Patton rolled his eyes. “It isn’t illegal to talk to him, you know. Just compliment him on his dress or something.”

“It isn’t that easy,” Roman griped. Damien was just so cool. He was suave and charming and unbelievably handsome, and he wore whatever he wanted with the confidence of a million superstars, regardless of the style or if it showed off his vitiligo. Nearly every boy, girl, and nonbinary person either wanted to date him, be him, or befriend him. He was practically irresistible, and despite the attention that he was given, Damien preferred his small friend group of Remy Xander and Remus Adams. Roman was simply another admirer. He wasn’t anything special like Damien obviously wanted.

“Stop doing that,” Virgil said, tearing Roman from his thoughts.

“Stop what?”

“The whole brooding thing.” Virgil vaguely waved his hands around. “I can practically hear the self-hatred from here.”

“Oh, whatever, Danger Days,” Roman hissed. He crossed his arms and turned away, more upset than angry. There was a bit of shuffling behind him, and within a few moments, Virgil’s arms had wrapped around his middle in a comforting hug. His resolve quickly crumbled, and he leaned into his friend’s side.

“We love and support you always, Ro,” Virgil whispered as he pressed a gentle kiss on the top of Roman’s head. “You are incredible.”

---

Despite Virgil’s sweet words at lunch, Roman felt anything but incredible.

He had stayed after class for forty minutes to chat with his teacher, which was pretty standard, but when he’d tried to turn his car on afterward, the engine refused to turn on. He had half a mind to call one of his friends to drive him home, but Virgil and Logan had mentioned earlier that they were going on a date, and Patton’s sister would be less than pleased to have to turn around to pick up one of her brother’s “weird friends.” So Roman was stuck, and he felt pretty damn shitty about it.

“Stupid car,” he muttered as he kicked angrily at one of his tires. “Stupid old car that’s held together by duct tape and safety pins!”

“You look upset,” someone said behind him, and Roman whipped around to find Damien standing there with Remy and Remus a few feet behind him, holding hands.

Oh, shit.

“Um, yeah, I guess. My car broke down, and all of my friends have left already.” He awkwardly gestured at the mostly-empty parking lot.

“I can help.” Damien walked around to the front of the car, waving Remy to follow. Roman absolutely did not stare as Damien’s yellow dress swirled around his legs like liquid sunshine. “I’m good at finding the problem, and Remy is just fantastic at the actual fixing.”

“Oh, um, thank you.”

Remy slid his shades into his hair with a bored expression. “It’s no problem, doll. Can you pop the hood for me?”

Roman nodded and did as he was told. While Damien and Remy poked around the engine, he sat on the pavement beside his car to watch. Remus, who had been explicitly told by Remy to not touch anything, searched for bugs in the grassy area a few feet away, occasionally making random, lewd comments to his QPP. Remy would retaliate by rolling his eyes and giving Remus the finger, and Damien seemed completely unfazed by their antics.

“So good news,” Damien said fifteen minutes after they had started. “I figured out what’s wrong.”

“And?”

“I can’t fix it,” Remy answered. He spouted off a bit of technical nonsense about how something had broken and would need to be replaced, which Roman didn’t get at all except for the underlying message that his car was still fucked up, and he still didn’t have a way to get home.

“Shit, okay.” Roman rubbed at his eyes in frustration. If he hadn’t been in the company of the three most popular kids at school, he probably would have started crying right then and there. “Okay. Thanks for trying to help.”

He heard the hood slam closed, followed by the retreating voices of Remus and Remy, but he still didn’t move. Hot tears started to well up in his eyes, and he internally kicked himself for feeling so upset. It wasn’t even that big of a deal that his car had broken down, yet he was crying like a baby. He sniffled and scrubbed harshly at his eyes. Thank god that Damien and his group had left already.

His momentary thankfulness, however, was shattered as crunching footsteps approached him. His eyes snapped open, and Damien was standing above him with his hand outstretched. Roman was caught between feeling shameful and confused.

“What are you doing?” he asked dumbly.

Damien rolled his eyes. “Attempting to help you up.”

“Why...?”

“Do I seriously need a reason to lend you a hand?” Impatience was starting to grow in his mismatched eyes, and Roman reached up before Damien decided that it wasn’t worth his time.

“Sorry, I just thought that you’d left with your friends,” Roman said, shoving his hands into his pockets as soon as he was on his feet.

“No, they...” Damien trailed off, looking in the direction that Remus and Remy had gone. “They have plans.”

“Oh. Well, thanks again for trying to help.”

“It’s no problem.” Roman could have sworn that an uncomfortable expression flashed over Damien’s face for a split second, but he unfalteringly continued, “Would you like a ride home?”

Roman’s eyes widened in shock. Damien Taylor was offering to drive him home. “You don’t have to, really--”

“Let me rephrase that. Would it be okay if I took you home? I would rather you not be stuck here for god knows how long.”

Whatthefuckwhatthefuckwhatthefuck--

“Uh, yeah, sure. That’s fine.”

“Great,” Damien said, smiling gently. “My car isn’t very far.”

“Cool...”

They were silent for the whole twenty second walk to Damien’s car, but once they were sat down, Damien spoke up. “Why didn’t you call your friends to get you? I don’t know much about them, but I feel like they would have been happy to help.” He put odd emphasis on the word “friends,” but Roman brushed it off.

“Patton gets a ride from his sister, and I didn’t want to make her turn around to pick me up. Plus, I think she ‘blames’ me for Patton being aroace since I came out as ace to him, which led to him learning about that whole spectrum in the first place, so she probably would’ve been unpleasant about driving me home. I probably could’ve asked Logan no problem, but they said they were going on a date with Virgil this afternoon. I didn’t want to bother them.”

“Why would you be bothering them?”

Roman burst out laughing, but after a few seconds of Damien not joining in, he stopped. Damien’s brow was furrowed, and Roman realized that he was serious. “What do you mean? It’s a date.”

“Yeah. Aren’t you dating Logan and Virgil?”

“Oh,” Roman exhaled. “No, I definitely am not.”

“Oh,” Damien parroted. A dark blush appeared on his cheeks in clear embarrassment.

“It’s easy to make that mistake, though,” Roman rushed in an attempt to dispel the awkward feeling in the car. “I mean, Virgil is a very touchy-feely kind of guy, and Logan is obviously dating Virgil, so... It’s not a complete stretch to assume that I was dating them.”

Damien nodded mechanically. “Right, well... Where do you live?”

Roman told him his address, and the entire ride there was silent.

---

“I really don’t know why you’re so upset about it,” Remy drawled. “He’s single. Didn’t you want that?”

“Yes, but I made a complete idiot out of myself!” Damien groaned, flopping onto Remy’s bed.

Remus sat down next to him with an evil smirk. “Dami, you shoulda seen the way he looked at you when you walked past him. It was like he just wanted to reach up your skirt and--”

“I suggest that you stop talking if you want your heart to continue to beat.”

“Kinky!”

Remy glared at Remus and said, “Seriously, though. The guy looked like he was about to faint when you offered to help. I’m no expert in romantic attraction, but I think he’s into you.”

“He was probably intimidated by me like everyone else at this stupid school is!” Damien rolled over and pressed his face into a pillow. “He’s just so fucking pretty.”

“Well,” Remus laughed. “At least now that you’ve seen his pretty face up close, you’ll have ‘shower-nozzle mastur--’”

“REMUS!”

“God, you’re such a buzzkill!”

---

Patton peeked around the corner of the hallway again. Damien was packing up his things, and neither Remy nor Remus were in sight, which was ideal for Patton’s plan. He waited until Damien pulled the zipper shut on his backpack to run over, using the acting skills that he had learned from Roman to look scared and upset.

“Damien, oh my goodness, I need your help!”

The boy in question looked up, surprised. “Uh, what’s wrong?”

“I was in a practice room, and a spider just came out from nowhere, and no one else is around, and I need you to get rid of it for me!” Patton rushed, clinging to Damien’s arm like it was a raft. In reality, the only thing in the practice room was Roman, who was under the assumption that Patton was going to show up to play piano for him, but what was a little bit of meddling between friends?

Okay, so maybe Patton felt bad for meddling with Roman’s love life, but Roman had called him up the night before fretting over “messing everything up,” which was just absurd in Patton’s opinion. He shared a class with Damien, and the amount of times he’d caught glimpses of the popular boy doodling Roman’s name in his notebook was honestly bordering on an absurd number. Patton had two pining idiots on his hands, so since neither of them were going to make a move, Patton was simply going to... nudge them in the right direction.

“Oh, um, okay,” Damien said.

“Thank you so much!” Patton began to drag Damien to the practice room, talking the whole way there so he wouldn’t ask any questions. “It was so scary! I was just playing the piano, and this huge black spider started crawling on the top end keys! It just showed up out of nowhere like the big, scary, creepy-crawly death-dealer that it is! I’m so glad that you’re willing to help me, Damien. All of my stuff is in there--oh my gosh! What if it’s in my bag? That would be dreadful! Oh, here we are!”

They stood in front of the plain wooden door of the practice room. Patton grabbed Damien by the shoulders and gave him the most serious expression that he could muster. “Damien, I wish you the best of luck in your task. However, if you are taken by the spider, I will not help you.”

“O-okay...?”

“Great! Thanks again!” Patton chirped as he flung the door open, pushed Damien inside, and pulled it shut again. He took out the keys that he had borrowed from the band teacher and locked the door, silently hoping that Roman would forgive him after everything.

---

Roman looked up, shocked to see Damien stumble through the door of the practice room, who looked equally surprised to see him. “Um, hello?”

“Hi.”

“Why are you in here?”

Damien awkwardly looked back to the door. “Uh, your friend Patton told me that there was a spider that he needed me to kill in here.”

“He must have been mistaken. I’ve been in here since school let out, and he told me he was running late to meet here--” Roman cut himself off in realization. Oh, that son of a bitch! “Patton lied.”

“What?”

Roman stood from the piano bench, striding to the door. He tried the knob, and like he had suspected, it didn’t budge. “He tricked us into the practice room!” He kicked the door in frustration.

Damien looked very confused and alarmed. “Why would he do that?”

“Because I have a crush on you, and that bastard is trying to get me to confess--” He clamped his hand over his mouth in horror as he realized what he was saying. To escape the disapproving glare that Damien was bound to give him, Roman turned away, hugging his arms round his waist. He could feel heat pricking at the corners of his eyes in the tell-tale sign that he was ready to bawl his eyes out. It would be super cool of him to cry in front of Damien twice. Not weird at all.

“You... have a crush on me?”

“Don’t,” Roman choked out. “Just forget I said anything.”

Damien shifted around behind him, and a hand gently landed on his shoulder. “Roman, will you please look at me?”

Slowly, he turned his head to look at the other boy, painfully aware of the redness of his eyes and nose and cheeks. There was a softness in Damien’s gaze, and Roman was only able to keep his mouth pressed into a firm line for the few moments that led up to Damien’s hand moving to cup his face.

“I, um... I actually have a crush on you, too.”

Roman felt like all of the air had been sucked out of his lungs. “Really?”

“Yeah. I really, really do.”

They smiled at each other for a few moments when the lock on the door clicked. Roman took Damien’s hand that wasn’t on his face and said, “How about we get out of here and talk about things over coffee?”

Damien grinned. “I think that sounds great.”

#sanders sides fic #roceit #analogical #qpr remy/remus #m writes things #roman sanders #ts deceit #sympathetic deceit #virgil sanders #patton sanders #ts remus #logan sanders

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cerberusisspot · 4 years

Text

Friendship Bond

Characters: Janus, Roman, Remus, Virgil, Logan (mention), Chara!Thomas, Remy, Patton (mention)

Relationships: Platonic Roceit, Familial Anxceit, Platonic Demus, Background Romantic Analogical, Eventual Romantic Analomus.

TW: Poison mention (let me know if I missed something)

Warning(?): Deceit is Trans MtF AroAce, Roman is Non-Binary AroAce, Sympathetic-Moraly Grey Deceit, Sympathetic Remus

Summary: Edna and Roman have been friends for so long, they have gotten closer than ever now. It’s fluffy I swear.

——————————————

Janus sighed as she folded the blankets and set them down before hearing the front door open

“Welcome back,” Janus calls as Remus, her friend and housemate, came in, Janus took one glance at Remus and sighed

“Why do I have a feeling you are about to tell me to help you with something?” Janus asked as she placed a hand on her hips and sighed again

“... Experience?” Remus asked before sitting on the couch that Janus just cleaned

“Hey, how dare y- just tell me what you want” Janus said as Remus looked at her pouting

“Please set me up with Virgil!” He said as Janus looks at him with a surprised

“... I’m not about to be you wingwoman with my brother who- might I remind you, has a boyfriend” Janus said sighing “My AroAce ass isn’t ready for this” she mumbled

“I’m home!” They both heard as both turned their heads to see Roman

“Yo,” Janus says with a smile as Roman smiles and returns the greeting

“What are you guys doing?” Roman asked as Janus eyes her friend for permission “just tell them” he says with a pout

“Well Remus wants me to set him up with Virgil who already has a boyfriend” Janus says as Roman looks at their brother confused as they throw their bag near the the door and come to sit down

“So how is he planning to do that?” Roman asks as Janus sighs “you think I’ll actually do it?” She asks to get Remus on his knees

“PLEASE!” He pleads as she takes a step back

“Remus, raises your head, I would if he was single-” Remus cuts her off “but isn’t he ok with polyamorous relationships!” He asks as Roman eyes Janus who also looks at Roman in worry

“... I can try” she says slightly troubled, but Remus didn’t realize as he grins “THANK YOU! Thank you so much Janus!” He said excited running to his room

“Are you going to do it?” Roman asks seriously as Janus just sighs as she picks up her phone and gave a slight broken smile

“Even if he says no... I can at least try-” “Janus.” Roman cuts her off as she freezes and looks at them

“Are you sure? My brother can be persistent, but you aren’t forced” they say as she looks at them for a moment before a sigh escapes her lips

“Listen, I just started talking to Virge again... I... I’m scared to ruin our relationship again” she confesses as Roman smiles at her

“It’s ok I can convince him to talk to Virge him self” they propose as Janus sits down

“No I’ll do it... I’m sure Virge won’t be too angry” she smiles a bit but Roman just says before getting up

“Tell me if you need help” they smile at her while ruffling her hair as she smiles softly “alright, don’t overwork, Ro” she says as they chuckle and leave to their room

“...” the ring of the phone was heard around the living room

“Hey? Janus, what’s up?” Virgil’s voice could be heard as she softly takes a breathe

“Hey Virge,-” she stops her self “-wanna meet tomorrow at uncle Thomas’s? At around 2pm?” She asks as She hears discussion

“Can Lo come?” He asks timidly as she smiles “of course, as long as I can bring my friends” she says as he laughs “of course”

“Ok then-” “hey Janus!” Virgil says as she stops and hums

“I’m... im sorry...” he says as Janus smiles to her self

“Are you talking about 15 years ago? Get over it, it’s fine, I don’t care anymore” she said as she can hear him grunt to stop himself from saying anything

“...I’m still sorry, I was an ass” he muttered as she chuckles “yea, you absolutely were, but that’s in the past” she reassured as Virgil sighs

“Ok... we can continue tomorrow, get permission from uncle Thomas!” He says before hanging up

“See~ I told you it won’t be too bad” Roman says smirking as they enter, Janus laughs a bit before getting up and stretching

“So, wanna help with dinner? Otherwise imma put poison~” she says entering the kitchen

“... I don’t know how much of that was truth” they say with a shiver

———————————————

“Hey! Virgil!” Janus calls as Virgil’s eyes gleam as he runs up to hug her

“I missed you! How have you been? Is anyone messing with my sister?!” He asks angrily as she chuckles and pushes him away

“I’m fine, how are you!” She asks as he shrugs

“Ok?” He says more like a question

“Janus, are we- oh Virgil, good to meet you again” Roman greets “oh Roman, as bright as ever huh?” Virgil said less excited

“... why do I get the feeling you don’t like me?” Roman pouts, “haha, because I don’t.” Virgil said

“Hey hey, come on now, I said I’ll respect your boyfriend if you respect mine” Janus said as Virgil chuckles

“Yea but I didn’t know you were bringing a...” Virgil stopped trying to find a suitable insult

“...?” Roman looked at him confused “is he ok?” They whispered to Janus who just laughed at her brother before dragging them all in

“Remus! Come on!” She called as Remus hurried in with a blush on his face

“... well I need to take pictures, this is the last time I’ll see my bro pinning on someone” Roman says with a smirk

“Hey you ok? Sorry about Virgil” Edna said with a sigh, but Roman just laughed

“Don’t worry about it, it’s ok,” they says as the two friends smile at each other before scoffing softly

“You’re an idiot, if you are troubled at least try to hide it better,” she said softly as Roman’s facade slightly fell

“I mean it hurts that your brother doesn’t like me, but hey I’ve been through worse” they laugh nervously, Janus just gave them a knowing smile

“Don’t worry, Virgil is like that with almost all my friends, he’ll warm up eventually though, he did with Patton, remember? How much he did not like them, now those two are inseparable” she said taking Roman’s hands

“Don’t worry, I’m sure he doesn’t actually care, if he did... well I wouldn’t be talking to you” she said a little nervous at the end

“Your a great friend Janus,” Roman says with a smile as they rest their hand on her head

“Hey, we are friends, I’d even say best friends but that doesn’t give you any right to ridicule my height” she says with a scary smile, but Roman just smiled and pat her head

“Yes yes, let’s go in and become Cupid, shall we?” They ask as she laughs and nods

“You’re a cool guy Remus” the two hear as they enter, they both look at each other before laughing a bit

“And cute” Logan muttered but they all heard, Virgil smirked before laughing “that’s my boyfriend, straightforward as ever” Virgil says

“I don’t understand how you can like someone so quickly” Edna sighs shaking her head

“JANUS!!!!” Thomas came to hug his niece “I miss you! How are you!” He asked happily as as Edna chuckled

“I’m fine Tommy, now get off before you embarrass me” she said with a pout before Thomas gives her a slight sad look as his thumb glosses over her burns as she winces

“Thomas, don’t...” she says removing his hand from her face before he pouts

“Hah... Janus, you resemble my sister so much” he sighs before stifling a laugh

“Cute and serious and always ready to beat ass” he laughs as she pouts

“Hey hey, I should be offended, mom isn’t that serious anyway” she says before Thomas chuckled

“Yea Yea, say what you want but you didn’t know her before she gave birth to you” he said with a smirk

“I have an overwhelming urge to punch that smirk off your face” Janus radiated with a joking murderous aura

“Ok ok, let’s go to your brother now” Roman laughs as they grab Janus and pull her into the living room

“Nooo Roman... I don’t wanna be with the lovebirds!” She whines playfully as Roman sighs and hits her head

“Stop complaining and look at that face my brother is making, we are making fun of him later 100% so grab your phone and snap the pics” they said with an evil smirk painted on their face which made Janus chuckle

“Yea we are definitely making fun of him... later though for now let him enjoy it” she said with a soft smile as she sees Remus blushing as her brother laughs

“... I’m kind of jealous” she says with a smile as Roman chuckles with her

“Yea I kind of get it, even I never got to have that much of a fun convo with my bro” they said as Janus nods “yea...”

“Mama!” Janus looked back and a grin etched her face “Remy!! Hello sweetheart!” She cooed carrying her nephew

“I’m not mama tho, I’m just your aunt” she said with a chuckle to Remy who played with her hair while laughing

“Virgil! Can you help, he’s pulling too much” Edna calls as Virgil comes to help her

“Are you ok?” Roman asks, stealing the question from Virgil who glared at them

“Yea, my hair’s a bit ruined though” Janus said with a pout as Roman smiled and left for a bit

“... aren’t you two too close?” Virgil asked with a pout as Janus raised her brows

“They’re just my friend, we’re both Aro Ace” she pointed out as Virgil just sulked

“But you don’t seem like it” he said, Edna just raised a brow and hit his back

“Yea well that’s what makes us a great duo, the leeches disappear, also I genuinely enjoy their company and personality” she said with a smile

“Awww I’m honestly honored” Roman said coming back with a Beanie in hand

“... how long have you been listening?” She asked as Roman just smiles “don’t worry just that last part about you genuinely liking me- platonically of course” they said as they slipped on the beanie on to Janus’s head

“Here now you look less like a disaster and more cute~” they said with a smile

“...” the two could feel the stares of Thomas

“Um... tommy?” Janus calls nervously as Thomas snaps out of his trance

“Oh sorry, I was just wondering, wouldn’t it be great for there to be a wedding like thing but for friends, just good happy Friends and no deeper feelings” he said as Edna and Roman look at each other in surprise before laughing

“Yea they have been together for as long as I remember” Remus said as Janus just laughs

“Yea I mean, at least our life wasn’t too cliche and we didn’t become some childhood friend lovers” that just made Roman and Janus both laugh more

“Omg I cant imagine us anything more than friends, really good probably close friends, but nothing more” Roman said as Janus nods

“Yea I have no desire or any feeling to want to get together, despite them being so handsome, alas we are both happily single” Janus said

“... you two...” Virgil interrupted as the two look at him “... are really similar in extraness and how dramatic you guys are”

“... I’m kind of jealous in a way” Virgil said with a small chuckle

“It’s just... Roman has been there for her all her life while... I was being an asshole to her... and to Roman, despite them taking such good care of my sister, so I guess I owe you a thanks Roman, and a Sorry Janus” Virgil said with a frown as Janus just looked away

“Yea well that’s in the past, you were young and stupid but what else do we do, we just have to accept it I mean thanks to you being such an asshole that I met and got so close to Roman” Janus says scratching the back of her neck

“And... I’m also guilty of being horrible to you, so I think we are even in some way” she said

“Aww that’s cute and all but you two are the least people to be cheesy so this is giving my goosebumps” Remus said, Janus turned to him with a smile

“I will happily add poison into your food tonight, I have some just in case you two start getting-” “IM SORRY!” Remus said a little of fear but mostly knowing that this will turn into a lecture

“... I don’t know if I should be worried for Roman and Remus’s health in anyway” Virgil said as Edna chuckle

“I’m not going to actually kill them~”

——————————

Thank you for reading~, This is not edited (please tell me if there are any mistakes or I accidentally misgendered anyone,)

#virgil sanders #sanders sides #sander sides #remus sanders #logan sanders (mention)#deceit sanders #trans deceit #fem!deceit #nonbinary Roman #aroace #platonic roceit #familial anxceit #analomus #patton sanders (mention)#tw poison #roceit #Janus Sanders

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coredrill · 4 years

Text

alright, here are my thoughts on the unstoppable wasp novel! i’ve put the majority of my thoughts, and LOTS of spoilers, below the cut. short summary is that . . . i didn’t really like it at all :/

so, i’m gonna preface this by saying that i wanted to absolutely LOVE this book. it’s all about nadia and she is one of my all-time favorite characters and it’s so great that she got the spotlight in this way! i just really really wish i could, in good faith, say that the book was good, but i just can’t. and admittedly, i consider the unstoppable wasp comics to be nearly perfect, which is a high bar to hit, but there was just so much about this book that left a bad taste in my mouth.

first thing i want to mention is the role of the rest of the g.i.r.l.s. and when i say that, i mean that they had virtually no role. i genuinely wasn’t sure if i (the reader) was expected to have read the comics before the novel. on one hand, the first few chapters were spent pretty much summing up the comics, which is fine, especially because some readers may not have read the comics. on the other hand, if i hadn’t read the comics, there’s NO WAY i would’ve known anything about the other g.i.r.l.s!! they’re barely present in the plot of the book! they are present in one scene in the beginning, taina has a few lines throughout, and they’re more involved at the end, but a lot of the times they seemed more like wallpaper than actual characters. especially because of the frequency with which the author would throw in lines such as “that ethiopian place that shay likes” or “priya’s on-trend jeans” and just name-drop them without really giving them any substance. since i know the comics, i already know these characters--but if i was just reading the novel with no background? there’s no way i’d be able to keep them straight.

building off of what i said in that last point, i also wanted to mention that i listened to the women of marvel podcast interview with the author. something that i noticed is that she would always refer to the g.i.r.l.s as the “g.i.r.l. squad.” and that, i think, is the root of why i didn’t like how they were handled. it’s obviously pretty simple to explain their absence in the story by just noting that the whole point was that nadia was feeling alone and isolated from them. HOWEVER, in my opinion as a woman who has been in engineering . . . that doesn’t happen? nadia and the g.i.r.l.s are labmates--it’s right there in the title. they ARE the genius in action research labs. the “lab” isn’t just the location, it’s the people who make it up. by referring to them as “g.i.r.l. squad” instead of just “g.i.r.l.,” the author is changing the dynamics from “being a cohesive unit of girls who make up this incredible group and support each other in their science and goals” to “friend group who all happen to do science.” and as i mentioned, the random falling-out that happens in the book doesn’t happen to groups of the first type. being a girl in stem SUCKS. being in a stem class means that you’re automatically friends with the 1-2 other girls in there with you. and the people you work on projects with in a lab? the other girls who take the time to support you and have your back even though the odds are stacked against you? those are a whole different kind of friendships and i PROMISE they’re not wrecked by just forgetting to talk to each other. the girls that i worked with in college--the girls that i worked with now--it’s for survival. you don’t just fall apart like nadia apparently did from the g.i.r.l.s in this book.

okay. final bullet point on this topic. but in the women of marvel interview, the author said that she wanted to explore what could break apart the bonds that the g.i.r.l.s had formed. but on page 263, there’s the line “and if they had all just been a little better at communicating, maybe it wouldn’t have been so long before one of them realized that nadia was relying a little too closely on that little gold device.” so this deep dive into splitting the g.i.r.l.s apart, and barely giving shay, taina, ying, and priya a role in the story--was caused by MISCOMMUNICATION??? no freaking thanks LMAO. even without everything i’ve already mentioned, that trope is so lazy.

the writing style kinda bothered me at some points--i remember the discharge being described as “carbon dioxide” at one point, but like, just call it white foam. it’s so much easier and saying carbon dioxide pulled me out of what was happening. obviously this is a personal thing, not something objectively bad, but i still thought i’d mention it.

there seemed to be this point, around page 260, where it seems like the book flipped a switch. obviously, this is where the climax hit, but so many other things seemed to just randomly get pushed into place because the plot necessitated it? like, for example, nadia and the g.i.r.l.s are suddenly bffs again. even though, in nadia’s interior monologue, we’ve been hearing her resentment for them, it seemed like once the plot needed them to work together that they were able to do so without problem. and not only that, but it didn’t even feel earned? the book NEVER showed nadia and the g.i.r.l.s as actually like. being friends. (as i mentioned, not a choice i agree with, but still a fact.) so to have them all suddenly team up for the Big Boss Battle just felt weird and disengenuous to all of them. additionally, nadia went from defending margaret at all costs to suddenly thinking “oh yeah, she’s probably super evil. no big deal.” like WHAT??? the whole point of the first 250 pages was to show that nadia feels like margaret is the only person she can trust. all of a sudden she’s cool with her being evil??? make it make sense! you could see throughout the rest of the book that nadia was building up her Wrong Thoughts. sooooo much time was spent on it and we actually saw the development of how nadia felt. but to have her switch all that on a dime so that she can have her Right Thoughts now??? just in time for the Boss Battle? it just feels so unearned, since there’s nothing building to it. she just . . . changes her mind.

i also feel like writing a book where the protagonist, where the person whose perspective we’re following, is being MIND-CONTROLLED, but not revealing that mind control until the 11th hour (to validate the sudden switch from Wrong Thoughts to Right Thoughts) was just. a bit weird. i’m 22, but if i was reading this as a teenager, i’m not sure i would’ve quite gotten that the WHOLE BOOK was now being told by an unreliable narrator, with absolutely zero reliable information as a base (except the comics, of course).

ON PAGE 274. THERE IS ONE MENTION OF SHAY MAKING HER TELEPORTER PORTABLE. THIS IS AN INCREDIBLE FEAT OF SCIENCE AND SO GREAT FOR SHAY WHY WAS THIS NOT EXPANDED ON IN THE SLIGHTEST????

alright, time to talk about the nadia-being-ace thing. so, ever since i started reading unstoppable wasp, i’ve interpreted nadia as aroace. her version of friendships, her attempts to change the topic when romance for herself is brought up--these are all very authentically ace experiences. and that was okay for me to just have her coded that way! the writer of the comics, jeremy whitley, has included TWO (2!!!) ace characters in his raven pirate princess series so i definitely allowed myself to entertain the idea that the ace aspects of nadia were intentional. i was also okay with it not being explicitly mentioned in the comics--sure it would’ve been cool, but i understand that there are 18 issues TOTAL and it would be hard to fit the entirety of nadia’s story in there. BUT, when the author of this book mentioned that nadia was ace, and jeremy whitley confirmed that he’d been writing her as ace, it was awesome and super validating!! first of all, nadia being the first canonically ace marvel character--even just by word of god--is so freaking incredible and just adds to my enjoyment of the story. i’m very glad that we got confirmation and that i can continue reading the comics knowing, at the very least, that my ace reading of them is backed up by the canon (!!!!!). however, the author of this novel 100% used it as a marketing tactic which is super shitty. i was obviously going to read it anyway, since it was about nadia, but i do know people who bought it specifically because the author mentioned nadia being ace. and there was maybe one throwaway line in the novel about how nadia was only interested in romance ~theoretically.~ that’s not rep. in fact, it’s even less rep than the comics, which represented nadia being ace (at least in my opinion) far more authentically than this novel did. i’d honestly even go so far as to say it was riiiight up against the line of queerbaiting--yes nadia is canonically queer, but only by word of mouth, and it’s not mentioned even once in the story. that’s bad. using ace people for marketing--baiting them into buying your book on the promise of rep which we already have so little of--is so so shitty. yes, i am glad that we got that confirmation from jeremy whitley who never used this to promote the comics and didn’t even mention it until now, but i genuinely cannot believe that this author (who is bi! i checked her twitter!) effectively used it to market her awful book. honestly if the book weren’t bad enough already, to add this on top of it is even WORSE.

in the same vein, the author mentioned ying and shay being in a wlw relationship in the same interview where she mentioned nadia being ace. ying and shay are barely in the novel and EVEN WORSE, their relationship is kind of treated as an “obstacle” that nadia and the other g.i.r.l.s have to overcome in order to start working as a unit again. also bad!!!!!

okay. i think i’ve got this and one more bullet point, so we’ll see how it goes. but the way that the science in this book was handled was atrocious. sure, we had the cute science facts, but there is one (1) paragraph on page 311 about the g.i.r.l.s doing science for the sake of doing science and helping their community. IN THE WHOLE BOOK. you know a great way to demonstrate to women that they shouldn’t go into stem fields? write a cautionary book about the ~dangers of ai and data collection~ AS IF ANYONE LIVING IN THE WORLD RIGHT NOW DOESN’T KNOW THAT SHIT. jesus fucking christ. the comics showed all of this great science by the way of the g.i.r.l.s papers, shay making her teleporter at home, defusing the bomb in ying’s head, recreating the vision gloves, tai’s sports robots . . . this book had NONE of that. it literally just had the evils that we see in the news EVERY DAY. that’s not what you show people to get them excited, and i find it really fucking weird that ANYONE greenlit a book about characters who support and encourage women to go into stem fields with the overall message of “science bad!” like. how the fuck was this plot approved. in the women of marvel interview, the author claims that she’s written about women in science before--and i believe her. i just don’t think that she’s ever actually spoken to a woman in science.

and lastly, i have a huge issue with the role of hope in the book. by that, i mean that the novel is called “built on hope” but hope is literally never a theme throughout the book? so yet another instance of the book building off the comics without any form of payoff. the unstoppable wasp comics are kind, and loving, and hopeful. this book is callous and condescending and seems more concerned with its sassy one-liners about white dudes and ham-fisted pop culture references than LITERALLY ANYTHING ELSE, including hope. nadia claims to love her friends but spends the majority of the book shitting on them. nadia lies to janet to “avoid hurting her” but the end of unstoppable wasp 10 showed the flip side of the situation where nadia and jan realize that although janet was hiding the truth about hank from nadia, nadia wanted to hear the information anyway!! and i just--WHY would you take a character who has been explicitly used in the past to introduce girls to women in stem (the interviews with real people in the back of the comics!) AND THEN WRITE HER INTO A FUCKING CAUTIONARY “TECHNOLOGY BAD” STORY??? it’s SO discordant with the comics and i genuinely hope that anyone reading this book goes and read the comics themselves, which are incredible and a bajillion times better than this book in all aspects. i’m finishing this “review” a lot more fired up then when i started typing it but i honestly can’t believe that marvel greenlit THIS and not like. 2 more comics.

so, yeah, those are my thoughts. kudos to anyone who actually made it through the whole thing (if anyone does), it’s egregiously long but i needed to put my thoughts somewhere! tldr: i will not be recommending this to my mom.

#ugh this took way longer to type than i expected LMAO #anyways #f: marvel #marvel: novels #n: built on hope #t.txt

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casssidian · 4 years

Text

Announcement i guess

(This turned out long as fuck i apologize)

Summary: i’m writing a script based off Mary Shelley’s novel Frankenstein, staying close-ish to the book with extra lgbtq+ parts added which could (in theory, if this were a true story) have been left out of the book to protect ppl

Ok, so here’s the long version:

I’m writing (trying to write?) a script for a series or miniseries (depending on how long it ends up, but i’m like 99% sure it won’t be longer than one season, provided it ever is finished and/or produced) based on the Frankenstein book but made more explicitly gay as well as with trans and nb characters

My original idea was that i would make the plot stay the same with minor edits for more Gayness TM but its kind of gotten out of hand and now i have entirely new characters and plot points

Extra plot points include but are not limited to:

Henry and Victor become a couple eventually (eventually being sometime in Ingolstadt)

Elizabeth and Justine are a couple

Captain Walton befriends the Creature

A number of my sexuality/gender headcanons, such as: bigender Henry, gay Henry (he still identifies a gay because he realized that before he realized he was nb and it stuck), aroace Creature, demiromantic Walton, ace Ernest, bi (and maybe ace) Victor, (possibly, i’m still figuring this out) trans Justine, lesbian Justine, sapphic Elizabeth

Henry writes a play which becomes a mojor-ish plot point while Henry and Victor are in London to contrast Victor’s sciencey god complex with Henry’s creative/literary (more sublte) god complex which comes to light in the play

Extra characters include but are not limited to:

A genderfluid captain who takes Victor and Henry to London from Strasbourg

A gay couple that Victor gets to know in Ingolstadt, one of which lives next door to Victor with his sister

Henry’s dad who is essentialy a homophobic asshole

I’m gonna have to put in Alphonse, Victor’s dad here because i changed him so much: in my version he goes from super distant person you sometimes see in the hall to a Concerned Dad TM who is really worried abt Victor being depressed all the time after he comes back and notices that he and Henry seem closer (more casual touches/leaning on each other etc.) and basically goes ‘if it helps Victor i’m fine with it’ and ends up being a pretty cool ally

My idea is that my version could have happened, Walton send Margaret the letters, etc and that Margaret then published the story (or told her friend Mary Shelley who then wrote the novel) after cutting out all parts that could get people in trouble for their non-cis-straightness or tarnish their memory for the same reason

Okay i noticed that i never said what the title is going to be so here it is: Creation’s Master I like it because if another movie called “Frankenstein” or smth similar comes out everyone will expect another godforsaken thriller like 90% of the other Frankenstein movies so I wanted to call it something else Also if it turns out way too different from the book i wont feel bad for calling it by the same name

What do you guys think of the idea?

#okay wow this kinds got really long #hahaha sry #i guess you can tell i like to ramble abt this?#idk how plausible it is that this will actually ever be finished or produced or anything #but hey I can dream right #anyway the idea started when i was reading the book and kept getting ideas of how i would want to change the plot in small ways #like idk #making henry come to Geneva with victor after William dies #or have alphonse (victors dad) die before elizabeth so that there's more of a climax with who dies when #or make my ships canon #but then it spiraled out of control and now i have shit like henrys play #or a ships crew made entirely of minorites/freed servants that were treated like shit/ppl who were locked up bc they're gay/etc.#idk i'm kinda just going crazy with this #frankenstein #mary shelley #mary shelley’s frankenstein #frankenstein novel #personal #own post #my writing #kat rambles #frankenstein adaptation #frankenstein script #creation's master #gethic literature #gothic lit

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emjenwrites · 4 years

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2019 Wrap Up

So @deadendtracks and @blueseyforthesoul did this, and I thought it was cool and decided to do it too, which is might be lame, but it was still fun so here we go:

Total 2019 word count: 135,545 words 🎉

And of course tumblr won’t let me insert a read-more link. That’s just typical.

January

Something in the air’s not right today The Raven Cycle 8,405 words (part one posted in 2018) Gansey, Adam, the Gangsey Gansey is not having a good day. Part two in Adam's POV.

February

Miles to go before I sleep The Wrath and the Dawn 1,800 words Khalid, Ava, Aref al-Khoury, background Khalid/Shahrzad Khalid realizes that this sleeplessness thing has officially gotten out of hand the day that he walks into his chambers and sees Ava standing in the center of the room. Or the one where Khalid hallucinates his dead first wife. She's not happy.

March

Feels like we’re on the edge right now The Folk of the Air 3,497 words Jude/Cardan, Roiben The one where Jude doesn’t kill Balekin and Roiben shows up ready to give Cardan a piece of his mind.

Help me piece it all together, darling, before it falls apart The Shadowhunter Chronicles (The Mortal Instruments) 3,585 words Clary/Jace It was done, but that was different than saying it was finished. Or Clary and Jace post-CoHF.

April

Please, don’t tell Ronan about this The Raven Cycle 2,276 words Declan/Adam Written for @toast-the-unknowing‘s Declan/Adam Prompt Festival Someone pounds on Adam's door in the middle of the night. He opens the door to a blood-soaked Declan Lynch. "Don't tell Ronan about this," Declan begs.

May

O Queen of air and darkness, / I think 'tis truth you say The Shadowhunter Chronicles (The Dark Artifices/The Mortal Instruments) 1,824 words Clary/Jace (And I shall die tomorrow; / But you will die today.) Clary and Jace during part two of QOAAD.

Every Step of the Way The Folk of the Air 715 words Jude/Cardan Jude tries to get Cardan out of bed. Written for the prompt "To be honest I could[n’t] care less" on Tumblr.

Business as Usual Six of Crows 1,008 words Nina, Kaz, Jesper, Wylan, Inej [Fightingverse] A building catches on fire. Kaz does something stupid. Written for the prompt "Do you smell something burning?" on Tumblr.

June

One Villain, Two Villain Six of Crows 1,706 words Kaz/Inej [Fightingverse] Kaz and Inej discuss a pair of new threats stalking the Dregs. Written for the prompt “Going somewhere?” on Tumblr.

Ketterdam Stops for No One Six of Crows 843 words Jesper, Kaz [Fightingverse] Jesper tries to convince Kaz to stay inside on a cold night. Written for the prompt “Despite what you think, I am completely capable of taking care of myself" on Tumblr.

It's late and you're still staring at the light Six of Crows 1,791 words Kaz/Inej After Nina and the others leave with Matthias's body, Inej follows Kaz back to the Slat. Written for the prompt "You need sleep" on Tumblr.

Stalemate The Folk of the Air 799 words Jude/Cardan, Vivi Jude and Cardan have a standoff in Vivi's kitchen. Written for the prompt "Don’t lie to me" on Tumblr.

Honesty The Folk of the Air 796 words Jude/Cardan Jude and Cardan late at night. Written for the prompts “It’s late. Shouldn’t you be asleep?” and “I’ve always been honest with you” on Tumblr.

What if I fell to the floor? Six of Crows 6,786 words Kaz/Inej, Anika, Jesper/Wylan [Fightingverse] “[Inej] doesn’t need to know,” Kaz said. “I’m going to be fine by the time she gets back.” Or the one where Kaz gets pneumonia.

Walking With Eyes Tight Shut Six of Crows 4,614 words OCs, Jesper/Wylan, Kaz/Inej [Fightingverse] Ambroos Baas came to Ketterdam to reform it. He may not realize it yet, but he’s in way over his head.

July

Seven Bells Six of Crows 1,303 words Kaz, Wylan [Fightingverse] Kaz and Wylan early in the morning. Written for the prompt “How are you feeling today?” on Tumblr.

The Flaming Skies [M-rated] Six of Crows 2,945 words Kaz, OCs, the Crows [Fightingverse] Kees Van Dijk killed a child to get Kaz Brekker's attention. Kaz Brekker will not stand for it.

Fading out again The Nikolai Duology 3,391 words Zoya/Nikolai, Tolya, Tamar "Genya ran her fingers over the carved surface of the trunk. 'The process won't be easy on him. It will be a bit like drowning every night and being revived every morning.'" Or the one where Genya and David's sedative turns out to have some nasty side effects.

I'm safe inside the light, so go on do your worst The Stormlight Archive 24,797 (parts 1-2 posted in 2018) Elhokar, Dalinar, OC Elhokar was a failure at everything he’d ever done. He’d failed as a son, as a warrior and as a king. He saw no reason to fail as a Knight Radiant too. Or the one where Elhokar swears to the first Ideal at the end of WoK.

A Job Well Done The Grisha Trilogy/The Nikolai Duology 1,384 words Zoya, the Darkling Written for @zoyanazyalenski‘s Zoya Week Thirteen-year-old Zoya is sent to talk to the Darkling after getting her amplifier. Written for day two (badass moments) of @zoyanazyalenski's Zoya Week on Tumblr.

You could never stop Six of Crows 1,776 words Kaz, Nina, Matthias, Wylan "[Kaz] was already dragging himself up the boulders that lined the far side of the gorge. [...] Nina shook her head, caught between annoyance and admiration. Maybe that was what it took to survive in the Barrel. You could never stop." Or the one where Kaz doesn't quite manage to walk off drowning in the Ice Court moat.

Tonight The Nikolai Duology/The Grisha Trilogy 724 words Zoya/Nikolai, Tamar/Nadia, Genya/David Written for @zoyanazyalenski‘s Zoya Week There were a number of things that Zoya hadn’t expected to happen when the war was over. Weekly friend group dinners were one of them. Written for the prompt "found family" for day five of @zoyanazyalenski's Zoya Week on Tumblr.

Truth be told, I never was yours The Nikolai Duology 1,345 words Zoya/Nikolai, Nikolai/Ehri Written for @zoyanazyalenski‘s Zoya Week Zoya and Nikolai minutes before Nikolai's wedding to Ehri. Written for the prompt "romantic entanglement" for Zoya Week on Tumblr.

You'll be the one voice of reason The Nikolai Duology 1,840 words Zoya/Nikolai, Tamar, Tolya, Nikolai/Ehri Written for @zoyanazyalenski‘s Zoya Week Nikolai looses control of the monster again. Zoya finally gets around to telling Tolya and Tamar about the royal order Nikolai signed while in the Fold. Written for the prompt "the Queen of Ravka" for Zoya Week on Tumblr.

August

Thinking too Hard The Modern Faerie Tales 957 words Val/Ravus A glimpse into one of Val's training sessions. She and Ravus both have other things on their minds.

The Least He Can Say The Raven Cycle 1,459 words Gansey, Declan Written for @ganseyweek Gansey and Declan in a hospital waiting room after Ronan's supposed suicide attempt. Written for Gansey Week day one "Out of Time."

No dawn, no day The Raven Cycle 3,451 words Blue/Gansey, Ronan/Adam Written for @ganseyweek Massively overtired Gansey meets his new skating partner, Blue. She doesn't particularly like him. Written for Gansey Week day 2 "Insomnia."

Ask the question The Raven Cycle 2,161 words Blue/Gansey, Blue/Gansey/Henry Written for @ganseyweek Blue discovers something interesting in Gansey's bags. Or the one where Gansey gains psychic abilities. Written for Gansey Week day three "Road Trip."

Dark Shadows The Raven Cycle 1,435 words Gansey Written for @ganseyweek "He was a king. This was the year he was going to die." Or Gansey goes for a drive and tries to deal with knowing he's going to die. Written for Gansey Week day four using the bonus prompt "dark shadows."

Talking to You The Raven Cycle 1,543 words Helen, Gansey Written for @ganseyweek Helen meets up with Gansey in France. Her goal is to convince him to come back to the US. Written for Gansey Week day 5 "Family."

And the damage makes you want to hide The Raven Cycle 2,889 words Gansey Written for @ganseyweek Gansey has wings. No one knows, and that's the way he likes it. Written for Gansey Week day 6 "Wings."

Old Friends The Raven Cycle 1,686 words Gansey, OC Written for @ganseyweek Gansey and Ronan lost some friends after Niall Lynch died. Turns out those old friends only have a problem with Ronan. Gansey is not happy. Written for Gansey Week day seven "Fight."

Troubled by Dreams The Folk of the Air 1,329 words Jude/Cardan “I have too often been troubled by dreams of Jude...her face features prominently in my most frequent nightmare." Or the one where Cardan dreams of Jude. Too bad his subconscious is using her as a voice box.

September

The Fallibility of Memory The Raven Cycle 1,230 words Noah, Gansey Gansey and Noah talk about how they met. This is not the first time they've had this conversation. Originally written for Gansey Week day four "Memories," but turned out to be a fic about Noah, not Gansey.

What are words? Six of Crows 6,147 (incomplete, 4/5 chapters done) The Crows, OCs [Fightingverse] Five conversations which took place before Maxim Vasilyev came to Ketterdam.

Together Six of Crows 1,307 words Jesper/Wylan, Colm [Heavyverse] Modern AU. Jesper and Wylan tell Colm they're dating.

October

Grandstanding The Folk of the Air 2,543 words Jude/Cardan Jude returns to Elfhame with a plan to gain her position as High Queen.

Ace of Cups The Alex Stern Series 6,197 words Dawes, Darlington Written for @fandomaspecfest Anyone’s knee-jerk reaction would be to say Pamela Dawes was into Daniel Arlington. Pamela Dawes was not into Daniel Arlington. Or the one where Dawes is aroace.

Dying by degrees Peaky Blinders 7,770 words Tommy, Ada, Freddie A week before he died, Freddie Thorne asked to see Tommy Shelby one last time. To say it was a complicated experience for all involved would be an understatement.

November

And all of the ghouls come out to play Six of Crows 3,395 words Nina, Jordie, Kaz [Fightingverse] "Greed may do your bidding, but death serves no man." Or the one where Jordie is actually haunting Kaz.

Numb me down to the core Peaky Blinders 6,273 words Finn, Tommy Written for @peakyblindersexchange On Christmas Eve Finn Shelby had three brothers. Now he had one. Or Finn and Tommy in the aftermath of Arthur’s “death.”

A Good Story Peaky Blinders 1,926 words Tommy, Ada Written by @peakyblindersexchange Pre-Series. Tommy, Ada and petty theft.

December

Left Alone Peaky Blinders 1,897 words Tommy, Charlie Written for @peakyblindersexchange A morning during s4. Tommy hates the Watery Lane house. Charlie wants his dad.

How to Save a Life Six of Crows 41,850 words (complete, currently posting) Kaz/Inej, Jesper/Wylan, Nina/Matthias, Kuwei, Jordie Written for @grishaversebigbang "Kaz took a deep breath and tried to prepare himself for what was to come. He’d done this before, in similarly hopeless situations, but it was always hard. Logically he knew that this was just another tool, another trick, but it always felt wrong." Or the one where Kaz is a Grisha Healer.

#mine #2019 wrap up

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ofieugogyshz · 4 years

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1 2 4 6! @goldenworldsabound

@goldenworldsabound

1. Are any of your F/Os LGBT+? ummmm p sure my idol girls are all somewhere on the ace spectrum. Rin is nyanbinary! [geddit? bc she nyas?] She probably is also demiromo and ace! Mari is definitely lesbian and actually probably not that ace at all. Ai-Ai is mmmmm maybe pansexual? and Demiromo? I honestly wouldn’t know without seeing more content of her. But I can see her being pan easily. Hanamaru is aroace!

as for the boys... uh. My husband is in a queer relationship regardless bc I’m queer, so it doesn’t really matter? And Otoya... Ace? Ace. Aspec? Grayce? I honestly don’t know since, y’know, basically otome series so it doesn’t really matter much.

Caulifla is possibly bi or pan leaning strongly towards girls, so more likely goes by lesbian? idk how to explain that one correctly right there bc my brain is mush rn

Kale is lesbian

Cabba is ace and demiro because i said so.

Trunks is an enboy/enby demiboy, and also ace. because he can be?

i think i’m missing someone but it’s probably bc they don’t come up/haven’t figured into anything.

2. Did you come out to them? How did it go?

uhhhh coming out to lance re being ace was more like shouting excitedly because i finally found the word/experience explanations that made sense and realizing that FINALLY. A WORD. TO GET EVERYONE OFF MY BACK ABOUT DATING AND NOT WANTING SEX. BLESS. it basically just involved me excitedly yelling across the room to him. it was cute, he says.

realizing being arospec was....... a lot more difficult bc i worried a lot about him thinking that it meant that i didn’t love him, bc i do, and that maybe it proved that i was more selfish or something, and etc etc, but he could tell that something was eating me up lately so we finally sat down and had a talk and he... took it very well? he wasn’t hurt by it because i still showed him love and compassion and support and pointed out that my feelings towards him hadn’t suddenly changed or been any different than they were before all of this. that it didn’t change anything about how i felt, how much i loved and cared for him. [and he gently nudged me about if i had thought about gray or demi labels and whatnot and i eventually found/looked into more labels and hoo boy my sub labels are too much please help i do not like having like 4-5 terms and conditions] i still felt bad for awhile that i couldn’t love him in the same way that he did, but he did his best to show me that our love was still the same, if not it being seen in a different light now, and that he wasn’t going to leave me or get angry with me because of it. it was a really hard first few months for me bc of intense guilt about it but he still stood by me and eventually it started to go away.

the enby stuff was a recent thing as of a year or two ago and i basically was just like “hey babe, i think i’m enby? or agender? i’m not sure which rn but enby sounds cuter and has the better flag colors so i’m gonna try out that for awhile” and he was just like, “okay. let me know if you change pronouns or anything” “ ‘kay “

4. How did you celebrate pride together?

i go as part of sbux’s group and my husband usually has to work but this year (and 2018? or the year before. Whenever the mass shooting happened) he went with me to make sure I stayed safe. if it happens this year he says he’ll go with me again, tho he’s been trying to suggest that I skip out on it this year if it happens. I told him I’ll play it by ear.

There aren’t a lot of us aros and aces at pride. Someone’s gotta represent us and that’s usually me.

6. Do you own any pride merch? Have you made any yourself?

not a lot! I recently got some more stuff this year. Ummm I have an ACE hat with the flag colors on the word ‘ace’ and that’s been cool. I’ve forgotten to wear it for the last few years but it also got lost a coupla times the last few years ;>> I recently got a cute agender and ace pin at the last con I went to before all covid happened! and I picked up two queer pins from hot topic, i thought? maybe it was just the one, which is “Let’s get one thing straight: I’m not”. I feel like there might be something else I’m forgetting about between but I recently gave in and bought the dragon wing collar pin here and the aro one here. ;>_> gee i wonder why.

Oh! if tarot decks count I have the Numinous Tarot! and I backed their oracle deck based off their huge comic. and i think there might be one more deck but that’s honestly the only one that comes to mind that is EXCLUSIVELY queer by design and not just “the lovers card is queer and that’s all the rep you get in the deck” [btw the lovers in numinous was instantly my fave/i fell in love with/was BASICALLY WHY I BOUGHT THE DECK, because it was definitely aroace inclusive and i even asked the creator about it and they said it was an influence!]

I was gonna make myself some beaded keychains of the flags but that fell through as did my energy levels.

OH THE FLAGS. I FORGOT THAT I BOUGHT ACE AND ARO FLAGS OFF AMAZON FOR PRIDE LAST YEAR. i was gonna get an enby one but they weren’t as cheap :T plus i can only fit two flags around me as a cape. which is one more than others.

#everyone is ace!!! you get an ace and you get an ace!!!#honestly i never think about peoples or characters sexualities unless it needs to come up #like with ocs that are dating queerly? if that makes sense #anyways this got long #augmentedampharos #asks

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closetgremlin · 5 years

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Ok, some more Graceling thoughts! Here we go

Kat acknowledges that her anger is related to King Randa, that’s good. Page 122-123, she says to Po “If I don’t do what [Randa] says, he’ll become angry. When he becomes angry, I’ll become angry. And then I’ll want to kill him.” So… this acknowledgment is good! At least she’s voiced that now, I think that that is a good thing. Actually hang on - Po corrects her, as a matter of fact. He says she’s afraid of her own anger; She stopped then and looked at him, because that seemed right to her. She was afraid of her own anger. Po goes on to tell her that “Randa isn’t even worth your anger,” and that “[m]uch of his power comes from you.” Then there’s this part:

She was afraid of her own anger: She repeated it in her mind. She was afraid of what she would do to the king—and with good reason. Look at Po, his jaw red and beginning to swell. She’s learned to control her skill, but she hadn’t learned to control her anger. And that meant she still didn’t control her Grace, (pg 123).

I just… I really like this scene, is all. I like this acknowledgement of her anger, her powers, her thoughts and feelings towards and about Randa. I think it’s good for her, and tbh it may be partly catharsis for me. Idk.

Following that, at the bottom of page 123 Kat mentions Po’s family - specifically, how she thought his aunt had a strange way of dealing with grief (she’s stopped eating, locked herself and her children in her rooms, only allowing a servant for meals which they may or may not eat…). I just think it’s really interesting how Po himself didn’t know about that (and I think Po himself is curious as well!!). (I wonder why this causes Po to think about telling her about his Grace?).

Re: Kat is aspec headcanon. This is nitpick-y and definitely projection, but at the beginning of chapter 13 here:

Raffin had told her she wasn’t perceptive. Po was perceptive. And talkative. Perhaps that was why they got along so well. She didn’t have to explain herself to Po, and he explained himself to her without her having to ask. She’s never known a person with whom she could communicate so freely—so unused was she to the phenomenon of friendship. (Pg. 126)

First off, SAME here about not being perceptive. I‘m pretty sure I’ve mentioned this in another commentating thread, but when one of my close friends and I first met I didn’t know that they had a crush on me till like… idk, a few months of knowing each other, and I only knew because they told me themself, while everyone around us knew about it basically (friend is very affectionate towards their crushes). So like! Not very perceptive? Mood, same here. But also, the way I figure it - if it’s not something you’re looking for (if you’re not looking for romantic stuff), why would you see it (why would you notice when others have romantic stuff for you)? …You know? And just… idk, the last part about how she’s so unused to “the phenomenon of friendship,” I just… that makes me sad. It also makes me think she’s demiromantic? (Or like, it increases that thought/headcannon, seeing as I’ve mentioned it before…). Because like - to my understanding, demiromantic means that one develops a romantic attraction only after a deep bond is formed (although maybe even that is misleading…? Is what I’ve sort of heard… feel free to correct me of course). With Giddon, Kat was disgusted when she found out that he was in love with her (and also thinks he’s a fool for it, as if that’s a thing he could control, which to my understanding you can’t really help it when you develop a crush on somebody, but also I’m aroace so as far as I know who’s to say). With Po… well, we’re roughly a hundred and a quarter pages in, there’s obviously no mention of Love from either Kat herself or any whiff from Po (…that I’ve seen, at least, but I’m not very reliable), but at the very least I do think that this… deep bond is forming. (I feel like I remember the book ending with them not officially in a relationship, as in I think they tried it then stopped, but I guess we’ll see).

Oh, re: Kat is aspec headcannon. “Giddon’s hope [to marry Katsa] bewildered her. She couldn’t fathom his foolishness, to fall in love with her, and she still didn’t entirely believe it to be true” page 130. She literally thinks he’s a fool for falling in love with her and genuinely can’t understand it - she thinks it’s a joke.! I am now revising my headcanon to say she’s grayromantic; the label means a lot of things to a lot of people, but I sort of look at it like it’s the “gray area” between 0% attraction (aromantic) and 100% attraction (alloromantic). (It is other things, too, of course, but this is my simplified understanding/explanation for the term😋). I think she’s grayromantic because romantic attraction as a whole seems very foreign to her (see above quote) and she doesn’t understand it; when she finally feels that attraction with Po (I’m not there yet, but I remember it. A little) it’s rather strong (probably surprising? Ok I don’t really remember but that’s fINE-). …ok I lost my train of thought but I think this makes sense. Yeah? Ok

Re: Giddon’s in love with Kat.

“…at least I don’t have a holding that depends on me, as do you, Giddon. I don’t have a wife, as you do, Oll.”

Giddon’s face went dark. He opened his mouth to speak, but Katsa cut through his words. (Page 135)

Personally, I think he’s offended by this because he’s in love with her and wants to marry her. Like - she points out that she isn’t married like Oll is, but G is like her in that they both aren’t married, and he wants to marry her… so idk, I think he’s just slightly offended by this line. Since we’re on this page…

Katsa what the FUCK. (Reference to my earlier post, here, which says basically the same thing). Page 135, same as above -

“I’ll kill the king,” she said. “I’ll kill the king, unless you both agree not to support me. This is my rebellion and mine alone, and if you don’t agree, I sweat to you on my Grace I will murder the king.”

Katsa what the F U C K. Holy fucking shit!! I’ve been going buck wild since I’ve read this, Katsa what the ever helling shit!!!!! She didn’t know if she would do it. But she knew she seemed wild enough for them to believe she would. Kat holy shit!! That’s… kinda all I have to say on the matter! ‘Cause like wow, Kat!

G proposes to Kat - his first mistake is on page 139, when he says “You should let me protect you.” You fucker. You fool. That’s the literal worst thing you can say to someone as independent as she is, never mind the fact that she could stomp you like a leaf. Actually, she phrases what I mean better than I do: A man who thought himself her protector—her protector when she could outduel him if she used a toothpick to his sword (page 140). And then he asks her if she’d “refuse a suitable proposal?”, like! Sir! Do you know her at all!! Of course she’d turn down a “suitable proposal,” she doesn’t! Wanna get married! To anybody! Idk if she’s like, expressed this in court or to court at all or whatever, but like I’m pretty sure I remember her saying that she’s mentioned it to Randa before? (Or at least King can probably guess at that…?). And then!! And then!! Third mistake! : “…You’ll want babies. I’m certain of it.” She wants to hit him for this, and I do not blame her!! (Actually, the exact reaction is wayyy more funny: She hadn’t expected to have such an immediate opportunity to practice containing her temper. For he deserved thumping, to knock his certainty out of his head and onto the ground where it belonged, page 140). Granted, I’m amazed, impressed, and super proud of her for how she handles this situation - she breathes to calm herself down, remains level-headed while wanting to knock the certainty out of him, sticks with exactly what Raff suggested she stick with (the whole “it’s not you, it’s me” shtick). I’m really proud of her for that, I don’t think I could do that myself (I’d probably get overwhelmed and shut down tbh). Fourth mistake: he calls her a lady killer, the name that’s been used for her several times by other parties. Idk how she feels about the title, but it really bothers me that he used that for her here. He’s trying to hurt her, I think, in the same/similar way she’s currently hurting him, so he calls her what others call her, what others call her who are outside of her small group of friends and familiar people (…aside from King, I guess. Randa, who’s a trigger for her! So maybe G’s trying to anger/trigger her…? Anyways, moving away from the PTSD headcannon now…). Also, how shallow of him to assume that she’s more interested in Po because he’s a prince while G’s simply a lord (page 141) - how shallow to assume that she’s interested in him at all, in my opinion, because she isn’t (in that way, at this point, yet). As a side note, I kinda think it’s funny that G thinks that Po will leave if G tells him exactly what he thinks about him, because like - not that G knows this, but Po already knows!! It’s the… idk, the cosmic irony of it all. Is that the phrasing? I think it’s ironic… right? That’s the word? Because Po actually knows this already but G doesn’t think he does. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

I misremembered Po’s Grace! (Well of course I did, I read this like 6 years ago…). It’s not mind reading exactly, it’s - “I sense people. [...] I sense people when they’re near me, thinking and feeling and moving around, their bodies, their physical energy. It is only—“ He swallowed. “It is only when they’re thinking about me that I can also sense their thoughts.” […] I can’t sit and listen in to whatever thoughts I want. I don’t know what you think of Raffin, or what Raffin thinks of Bann, or whether Oll enjoys his dinner. You can be behind the door running in circles and thinking about how much you hate Randa, and all I’ll know is that you’re running in circles—until your thoughts turn to me. Only then do I know what you’re feeling.” (Page 145). Tbh? This is super cool, like as a magic thing and I’m very excited about this concept. Also… I guess I still don’t like… I still don’t quite understand why she doesn’t like mind readers, specifically. I understand the fact that she’s upset about him lying to her about his Grace, about him “being a mind reader,” but… I don’t get it. Granted, I don’t usually understand [plot lines/subplots/tensions/whatever] where people get so twisted up over another person lying, so this is more of a me-thing than a book-thing. I’ve just never understood why people get so upset over lying, sometimes.

Ok this is really long. Guess I had a lot to say! I’ve been working on this for basically 2 hours now, give or take. Nice. Anyways, thanks for reading

#caps #cursing #bold #links #color font #long post #miro commentates #miro reads #graceling #material analysis #||#…i could practically write an essay on Kat being aspec at this point huh??#i mean. im guessing #huh

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